PO Box 42129, Los Angeles, CA 90042 #15 www.razorcake.com got an email from an old friend the other day, and he said to me, by reporters who were in a unique position to write about various “I hear you’ve gone all political. Don’t tell me those bastards important but ignored stories. When I finished reading the article, I IIhave gone and made you give a shit. DAMN THEM...” It made thought, damn, that makes me want to be an editor of an me think. underground magazine. Luckily, I already had that part covered. I’m not all that political of a person. Most of the time, I’d Then I thought, I wish I knew some reporters in a unique position to rather talk about anything – music, books, zines, drinking, cover ignored stories. As fate would have it, Todd and I did have skateboarding, surfing, riding my bike, psychological profiles of my two friends approach us with story ideas for this issue. One works friends, movies, anything – than politics. Todd’s the same way. at Planned Parenthood, and she wanted to write about how a Most of the Razorcake writers are the same way. That’s why we woman’s right to choose is being stolen by the Bush administration. produce a punk rock magazine instead of a political magazine. The other fellow writer was in a convenient, inside position to talk Things change. about how corporate CEOs and public servants tend to be the exact It’s starting to look like Pinky and the Brain have managed to same people, and public policy reflects this. Of course Todd and I slide into the White House (as in, “What do you want to do today, were interested in these articles. And suddenly, without even trying, Cheney?” “Same thing we do every day, George: try to take over Razorcake #15 started to look a little bit like an old In Fact. the world.”) So much of our money and so many of our freedoms Does this mean that we’ve gone all political? Not really. Life are being ripped away from us so quickly that it’s suddenly feeling and society around us is forcing us to get more involved, and, when like we have to act in some way, or be sorry that we didn’t. The we’re in a good position to cover something, we’ll cover it. But tough thing is to figure out what to do. don’t worry. The dick and fart jokes are still here. We still have all A few months ago, I read an article on George Seldes in the usual talk about music, books, zines, drinking stories, and so on. Barracuda #15. He was a reporter back in a time when reporters We’ve just added another sixteen pages so that we can fight back went out and found stories and wrote about them, rather than just against the Pinky and the Brain mentality. So please take a little rewording press releases (which is pretty much all that reporters do extra time to check out our articles as well as our music. And, to now). When he got frustrated with the stories that his editors chose paraphrase Razorcake reviewer Not Josh, be smarter than your TV. to run and the ones they chose to kill, he started his own weekly, In Fact. In Fact survived for years, and Seldes relied on submissions –Sean AD DEADLINE FOR ADVERTISING ISSUE #16 STIPULATIONS August 1st, 2003 • All ads are black and white. AD DEADLINE FOR ISSUE #17 • Make ads the right size and October 1st, 2003 orientation. • We don’t reserve ad space. EMAIL OR MAIL US • Send good laser prints for the FOR THE RATES ads. Use solely black ink on all art. Do not output your ad on a AD SIZES bubble jet printer even if it looks • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. black and white. Email us first if • Half page, 7.5” wide, 5” tall. you want to send an electronic file. • All photos must be halftoned • Quarter page, 3.75” wide, using a 85 LPI (85 line screen). 5” tall. • If we need to invoice you, we • Sixth page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. won’t run you ad until we have the • Please make all checks out to cash on hand, so make those Razorcake. arrangements before the ad deadline. Sean <[email protected]> Designated Dale Todd <[email protected]> <[email protected]> Rich Mackin Rhythm Chicken CHP: Erection! <[email protected]> <[email protected]> (Even cops like Turbonegro.) Nardwuar Everyone else can be reached c/o <[email protected]> Razorcake. Thank you list: Double dog thanks to Julia Smut for her help in making the cover as pink as it could be; in utero thanks to Karla for Razorcake and razorcake.com are reared and smeared by: her patiently well researched article on reproductive rights; ink- Sean Carswell, Todd Taylor, Felizon Vidad, Megan Pants, huffing thanks to Petite Paquet for the John E. Miner interview; Fat ktspin, and Skinny Dan. wads of cash in the back pocket thanks to Jason Dick for his hard evidence against four men who could easily control everyone reading Cover design by John E. Miner, cover photo by Dan Monick this right now; Really? You’d give us an interview thanks to Lisa Pinto for setting up the talk with Congressman Waxman; pixel scanning thanks to Randy Iwata for handling the tech stuff with Nardwuar’s column; ear-scorching, shit-under-the-fingernails, digging for diamonds in the rough thanks to Aphid Peewit, Cuss Baxter, Donofthedead, Jeff Fox, Not Josh, Mike Beer, Puckett, and Toby for doing record reviews; you can’t pan books in one sentence, like records, thanks to Not Josh for his book review; reading people’s personal tragedy thanks to Aphi and Joe Biel for zine reviews; Todd would like to thank Erik and Gretchen, Paddy, Lane, Rainer, Andy, Billy, and the entire Triple Rock Social Club crew for making his trip out to Minneapolis feel like he was some sort of duct tape royalty; and, finally, isn’t it always the case thanks to the Slave Labor Stuffing Crew, of which I lost the note of who was here, your toil was in anonymity, and the inserts got stuffed in record time. www.razorcake.com *• PO Box 42129, Los Angeles, CA 90042 Table of Contents Issue #15, August/September 2003 Money .................................................... Lazy Mick ......................................... pg. 4 Art ........................................................... Shizzville!! ............................. pg. 7 The Rhythm Chicken .................. The Dinghole Reports ....................... pg. 8 Maddy .............................................. Shiftless When Idle. ..................... pg. 10 Sean Carswell ......................... A Monkey to Ride the Dog .................... pg. 12 Jimmy Alvarado .......................... I’m a Little Airplane ....................... pg. 16 Rich Mackin .................................. The Twisted Balloon .................. pg. 18 Rev. Nørb ............................................... Love, Nørb .................................. pg. 20 Nardwuar The Human Serviette ..... Who Are You? .................... pg. 26 Felizon Vidad ......................................... Shark Bait ............................. pg. 30 Designated Dale .................................. I’m Against It ........................pg. 32 Shawn Granton ................. Fucking Comical-Book Fun Partay! ............. pg. 37 ***** Knockout Pills ................... Interview by Sean Carswell .................. pg. 38 John E. Miner ..................... Interview by Petite Paquet .................... pg. 44 Mr. Private Sector Meets Mr. Public Sevice ........ Article by Jason Dick ....... pg. 48 Turbonegro .......................... Interview by Todd Taylor .................. pg. 54 Turbonegro Tiger-Beat Style Centerfold ... by Dan Monick................. pg. 56 Congressman Henry Waxman ......... Interview by Sean Carswell .......... pg. 62 Feederz ...................................... Interview by Megan Pants ................ pg. 68 Choice Wars ........................... Article by Karla Pérez-Villalta ................. pg. 74 ***** Record Reviews .................... Hot Bods Are Lookin' to Buy! ............................ pg. 82 Zine Reviews ........................... Baking Cricket Cookies ............... pg. 106 Book Reviews ................. Satanic Rituals and Bloodshed .................... pg. 110 Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the US. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the US and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage). Write us and we’ll give you a price. Prisoners may receive free single issues of Razorcake solely via Left Bank Books, 92 Pike St., Seattle, WA 98101, who have a book-for-prisoners program. Want to distribute Razorcake in the United States? The minimum order is five issues. You have to prepay. For $7.50, you’ll receive five copies of the same issue, sent to you when we do our mailout to all of our distros, big and small. Email <[email protected]> for all the details. LazyLazyLazy MickMickMick A metalhead, a mariachi and me! Were accordion players mariachi? I would find out. Daisy and I would save punk rock. We would save it with this accordion. Halfway up the stairs, Weeks instead?” and heavy metal, and metal had TIJUANA BLUES stopped to chop up some lines on I told him that would indeed gotten the upper hand. But we’d a pocket mirror. He split the be great, but I was pretty sure I’d change all that with an accordion, Continued from #14... brownish clump into two rails and seen it done in a movie, only with and not just any accordion, but this we snorted them in the stairwell. better drugs and better-looking accordion. I concocted a plan: Weeks was astounded by the Fortified, we resumed our ascent. actors. we’d pool our money and buy the story of my first trip to TJ. The As we made our way up the stairs, “This,” he said with an expan- accordion from Daisy, or better next day he made me tell it over we heard something we couldn’t sive gesture to indicate the bar, the yet, buy it and then pay Daisy to and over again, peppering me with put our finger on.