The American Legion Magazine [Volume 29, No. 2 (August 1940)]

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The American Legion Magazine [Volume 29, No. 2 (August 1940)] * m m mU, f~m /ww «~ mm m * w * m LEGIONMAGAZINE AUGUST 1940 / HERE'S THE Me 40 *"* sons , EMBLEM DIVISION, Nat'l Headquarters, American Legion 777 North Meridian Street, Indianapolis, Indiana "Ar / want a copy of the new 1940 Legion catalog with SAL Name. Supplement. It is understood that this newest Legion catalog, Street which is literally crammed with brand new offerings at very special prices, will be sent to me without any obligation City ... whatsoever. Please rush my free copy of this interesting Serial number of my 1940 new catalog today. Legion membership card t " . had just been operated self). Finally the Irishman cut in, saying, MIKEon and was placed in a ward "All those things for yourself. Wouldn't between two other boys from you buy anything for your wife? Tony, the Emerald Isle. After he where is your chivalry?" ha< 1 come out of the ether and was still sort Tony: "Oh, I trade HIM in on a Ford." of woozy, the Irishman on one side yelled over to the third one saying, "Pat, how ON THE platform at a small town was your operation?" Pat replied, "Sure, railroad station someone had left a they forgot to remove the sponge from me goat crated up for shipment to a nearby and they had to re-operate and takeout the town and it was awaiting arrival of the sponge. And how isyoursjim?" To which town's only train. The Negro helper Jimreplied/'Theyforgotthescissorsinme. around the station happened to see the They had to re-operate and take out the goat reach out and consume the shipping scissors." About that time Mike's doctor tag which was attached to the crate. Calling the station agent, the Negro made this report: "Come 'ere, boss, this yere goat done gone and et up whar he gwine." RECENTLY this sign ap- - peared on the rear of an old Ford on the streets of Thomasville, Ga.: "Drive on, big boy, and speed up —Hell ain't full yet." ARECRUIT, waiting, with only an army blanket around his shoulders, in his Company Street, for the Doc- tor from the Regimental In- firmary to conduct the usual medical inspection, exclaimed disgustedly: "I enlisted in this damn army as a private, and damn little privacy do I get." WHITE captain, placed a;in command of a fresh company of Negro draftees in a Southern camp at the beginning of the World War "Why do they always run was given the assignment of Regimental out of gas at night?" Guard duty for a 24-hour period, the stuck his head in the door and hollered, at the main entrance to the camp. He Guard composed of his Negro draftees. "Anybody see my hat?"and Mike fainted. halted and challenged them at the proper He carefully instructed them before- time in the accepted manner, and for a hand in the Manual of Interior Guard HARD-BOILED shavetail in the A reply one of the party advised him in no Duty, particularly how to advance per- Army was reprimanding his com- uncertain terms, "We are the Berry's." sons during the hours of challenging. mand for not having passed inspection. The soldier, not to be outdone, countered, Immediately after midnight, the first "And listen, you birds, there will be no "I don't care if you're the Bee's Knees, sentry halted him and inquired in a mild liberty for the next week for the showing you're not allowed in camp at this time voice: "Who is dat." The Officer of the you made today. Get that no liberty." — of the night." Day informed him: "Officer of the Day." A little Hebrew in the rear rank yelled The Negro was silent for a while and the ' aloud, ' Give me liberty or give me death. AX IRISHMAN and an Italian digging Officer of the Day, thinking that he would To which the Lieutenant hollered, "Who Ix. a ditch were discussing what they say something to refresh the sentry's said that? Who said that ? I want to the would do if they had a million dollars. mind as to how to properly advance know who was the punk that said that." The Italian said, "If I had da million O. D., said: "Well, what are you going to The Hebrew yelled, "Patrick Henry, adol ida by da swela suit da swela da hat, say?" The sentry replied, "Boss you all Lieutenant, Patrick Henry." daswelada shirt" (and soon all for him- is out a little bit late, ain't you?" SCENE: Art Museum—Two middle- aged ladies standing before statue of '" saw Venus de Milo. One says to other doubt- fully, "Er—I suppose, Edythe, this =2.-4 statue is supposed to represent Disarma- „ ment." A SCOTCHMAN vacationing in the South (when it suddenly became ex- tremely warm) sent the following Scotch telegram to his wife to send his summer underwear: Mrs. Sandy McTavish 288 5th Ave. New York, N. Y. S.O.S.B.V.D's.P.D.Q. Sandy The American Legion Magazine will "Whatever you do, pay one dollar for each joke accepted don't fly under them!" THIS is a story about a rookie on for Bursts and Duds. Address Bursts guard duty one night at an infantry and Duds, The American Legion Maga- zine, 1 5 48th Street, New York post under command of a Colonel Berry. West City. Don't send postage, as no jokes He suddenly observed a group of three will be returned. women approaching his post, which was AUGUST, 1940 clor Qocl and Go unity, we associate ourselves together for the following purposes : To uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America; to maintain law and order; to foster and perpetuate a one hundred percent Americanism; to preserve the memories and incidents of our association in the Great War, to inculcate a sense of individual obligation to the community, state and nation; to combat the autocracy of both the classes and the masses; to make right the master of might; to promote peace and good will on earth; to safeguard and transmit to posterity the principles of justice, freedom and democracy ; to consecrate and sanctify our comradeship by our devotion to mutual helpfulness. — Preamble to the Constitution of The American Legion ft ifr £r THE AMERICAM August. 1940 Vol. 29, No. 2 MAGAZINEID Publislied Monthly by The American Legion, 455 West 22a* Street, Chicago, Illinois EXECUTIVE AND ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICES EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING OFFICES Indianapolis, Indiana /5 West 48th St., New York City In this issue COVER DESIGN I WAS THERE! 12 * COME AND STAY AWHILE 22 By Charles R. Chickerinc- By Frederick I'almer By H. Lyman Armes BURSTS AND DUDS K.O. BY SAILOR GUNS 14 By Bill Cunningham LO. VANISHING ATHLETE 24 KEEP EDITORIAL: TO AMERICA Drawing by William Heaslip By Jim Hurley i kih: HERE ARE YOUR PILOTS. TEAMWORK DID IT SECURITY FOR TOMORROW 26 By Fairfax Downey UNCLE SAM 16 By Samuel Taylor Moore By Boyd B. Stutler LIES OF DUTY By Carey Worth Stevenson FOOLING THE ENEMY 18 SOUND RECALL TO YESTERDAY 50 Illustrations by Jay Merrill By Frederic Sondern. Jr. By John J. Noll IT S NOT TOO LATE 10 EVEN AS YOU AND I 20 By Kent Hunter By Frank A. Mathews, Jr. TOMAHAWK. LEGION PARADISE 54 Cartoons by John Cassel Illustrations by George Shanks By Watson B. Miller + +++ - TTTTTTTTTTTT if The war continues to bulk large their way around in the air and other fellows, and mentions among in the news of the world, but so who will have an important part others some Americans named utterly unpredictable has it been in the training of the youngsters George Washington and Frederick that only a hardy optimist would soon to form the bulk of the Army Funston, both of whom you may refer to it in other than general and Navy air force personnel author- have heard of. Bill Cunningham's terms. The way in which it has ized by the ten-billion-dollar defense story K.O. by Navy Guns details the raised hob with monthlies, weeklies, program. telling part played by the U. S. dailies and the radio is a caution. In Navy's 14-inch guns in the fighting * It's Not Too Late by Kent Hunter Teamiuork Did It Fairfax Downey that ended on November 11, 1918. deals with the Fifth Column and brings to you in the words of the We predict that it will stimulate con- Trojan Horse elements in this coun- German officers who were responsi- versation in many a Legion club- try which national, state and muni- ble for it, the graphic story of how house. This time the Navy will be cipal officials are preparing to and why the steamroller Hitler's doing the pitching. squelch once they try any tunny men set in motion flattened out stuff. Fooling the Enemy ranges in everything in its path, in Poland, * The Boston Convention doesn't its interest from Norway, Holland, Belgium and ancient Chinese get under way until September 23d days to the present war. Mr. Sondern France. Frederick Palmer, easily the (it runs through the 26th) but New shows that in every war the success- most famous of war correspondents, England is ready to show you its ful side has pulled fast ones on the in / Was There! recounts for you merits as the nation's summer play- some of his experiences with the ground, one gathers from H. Lyman British and French armies and with Armes's Come and Stay Awhile.
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