Love Actually: A Bad and Beloved Holiday Tradition Rev. Catie Scudera First Parish in Needham 12/23/18

Less that two weeks ago, The Washington Post published an article, “Your definitive guide to Christmas season arguments.” Democracy dies in darkness, indeed, Washington Post!

The Post believes their list will prepare us for the content of inevitable holiday family fights. There are larger “culture war” topics like whether we should say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” to strangers; and, whether we should still be listening to Baby, It’s Cold Outside; to whether the original Die Hard movie should be considered a Christmas movie (which, obviously, is yes).

But, the very first supposedly inevitable argument on The Washington Post’s list is, “Is Love, Actually actually good or actually bad?”

Love Actually debuted in 2003 with an outstanding ensemble cast featuring Chiwetel Ejiofor, Hugh Grant, Keira Knightley, Laura Linney, Liam Neeson, Denise Richards, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, January Jones, Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Martin Freeman, Bill Nighy, and a young girl performing a very good rendition of singer-superstar Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas is You. This remarkable cast is involved in nine loosely interconnected subplots all about romantic and familial love with the backdrop of Christmas in London, with forays into Marseille and Milwaukee as well.

Until the movie’s tenth anniversary five years ago, I was unaware that it was popular enough to garner enough attention to be a common topic of holiday debate! … But oh, it is! Since its release, the question of “Is Love, Actually actually good or actually bad?” has been a common topic of holiday debate at least in the press.

Most believe Love Actually is actually bad. Chief film critic for The New York Times, Jewish-American journalist A.O. Scott, wrote when the film was released that “the film’s governing idea of love is both shallow and dishonest, and its sweet, chipper demeanor masks a sour cynicism about human emotions that is all the more sleazy for remaining unacknowledged. It has the calloused, leering soul of an early-60’s rat-pack comedy, but without the suave, seductive bravado.”

Love Actually: A Bad and Beloved Holiday Tradition Rev. Catie Scudera First Parish in Needham, 12/23/18

At the film’s tenth anniversary, film critic for The Atlantic, Euro-American journalist Christopher Orr wrote in his retrospective review, “Love Actually Is the Least Romantic Film of All Time” that he was particularly horrified “that a considerable number of people not only consider Love Actually a classic, but go so far as to watch the movie annually as a holiday tradition. Which is — and please believe that I am being as diplomatic as I can — utterly insane.”

I have a confession to make to Christopher Orr from The Atlantic.

Two Saturdays ago, I myself attended an eleventh annual Love Actually viewing with my old friends from my charter school teaching days. As we did eleven years ago, we baked holiday treats, wore holiday attire, and crowded into a living room on couches and cushions ostensibly to watch Love Actually.

I admit that it is true that Love Actually’s plotlines put an unreasonable amount of faith in love-at-first-sight; in popular acceptance of boss-employee relationships; and, in Americans being easily seduced by people with English accents. I’ll say for myself, it’s certainly not a film I’d use as an exemplar of healthy relationships in our Unitarian Universalist Our Whole Lives sex ed classes, that’s for sure.

The thing I think Love Actually critics don’t understand is that we don’t come together every year because we agree that government leaders ought go looking for love in their catering staffers; or, because we believe learning to play the drums is a better way to impress your crush than, say, just going to talk to her; or, because we enjoy yelling, every year, to no avail, “No, Laura Linney, ignore your mobile and just kiss that man!”… Yes, I know some of you do that, too… Frankly, we spend much of the movie criticizing its significant shortcomings, with the same comments year after year.

What the critics miss is that we don’t watch Love Actually annually because of Love Actually. We come together because it’s Christmas, and no matter how cold it’s gotten — no matter what’s happening with our careers, or our relationships, or our health, or our families — no matter if there’s room at any nearby inn — we are confident that there’s a living room somewhere with a couch we can crash on while we eat cookies and watch a movie together — no matter what, we are confident that “love actually is all around”… And, to further quote the film, that “Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.” Like a Yankee swap or tree decorating or a carol sing, Love Actually is a means to the end of being with those nearest and dearest to us for the holidays. In a fast-paced culture where it’s easy to prioritize so much above spending 2 Love Actually: A Bad and Beloved Holiday Tradition Rev. Catie Scudera First Parish in Needham, 12/23/18 time with those we love, I’ll take this “utterly insane” opportunity to see some of my beloveds every December.

May we remember that love actually is all around, available to each and all of us when we share with our family, friends, and neighbors. May we intentionally cultivate joyful moments with our loved ones at this time of year, instead of rehashing old debates. May we all enjoy our holiday traditions, no matter what the critics think. Blessed be, and amen.

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