Hunter S. Thompson, Written by His Friend (And Hot-Tub Companion) E
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Hi everybody….E. Jean here. This is the RTF of the book, and let me warn you it is A MESS! The spacing is off, the hyphenated words are a disaster, certain phrases have disappeared---but what the hell. “Uproarious fun . E. Jean Carroll’s wacko-wanton biography is the only way to throw a net over the cavorting career of Doctor Thompson . Carroll . out-gonzos the master.” —Albuquerque Journal “Crisply edited reminiscences of his friends. .” —Entertainment Weekly “Carroll’s approach is novel . it’s gonzo biography.” —Indianapolis Star “A hilarious version of Sade’s Justine . Echoes her wild subject well, while framing some serious interviews with drug dealers, politicians, childhood friends and, notably, Thompson’s ex-wife.” —San Francisco Chronicle “Her style is as outrageously entertaining as Dr. Gonzo himself. .” —Denver Post “Carroll’s interviewees—including Thompson’s brother, mother, ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, colleagues, even George McGovern— offer many interesting observations on her subject’s alienated youth, writing style, celebrityhood, behavior and journalistic influence.” —Publishers Weekly “FOR A LESSON IN DECADENCE, ALL BEGINNING WRITERS SHOULD READ . Hunter: The Strange and Savage Life of Hunter S. Thompson, written by his friend (and hot-tub companion) E. Jean Carroll.” —Bazaar “Author E. Jean Carroll tracked down Thompson’s friends, relatives, and enemies, and got them to talk about the mad doctor. Though hilariously funny, this book has substance. Fans of Hunter S. Thompson will find Carroll’s biography indispensable.” —Arlington Old Town Crier “A highly imaginative biography that is a smooth, fast-paced look at an American icon. So read the damn thing. It’s worth it.” —Idaho State University Bengal “Extremely well-researched and loaded with media gossip.” —Express Books “For Thompson’s fans . nothing is going to top E. Jean Carroll’s Hunter . excellent . flashy and well- sustained.” —Rocky Mountain News “Hunter ought to contend for every non-fiction writing award given. .” —Fort Worth Star- Telegram “A FAST AND FUNNY READ . NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.” —Seattle Times “Terrifying and hilarious . It has to rank as one of the most readable biographies yet done on anyone. A Renoir meets Dali meets Tom Robbins.” —Louisville Eccentric Observer “She shows his life as one long prowl for drugs, women, booze, and fame . Thompson is a full- blown lunatic from the first chapter to the last.” —St. Louis Riverfront Times “Outrageous! Call the authorities. This sort of book can only lead to a general undermining of the whole time-hallowed majesty of biography . and ipso facto, our American civilization.” —Albuquerque Sunday Observer “Hunter is to other biographies what the Harlem Globetrotters are to Athletes for Christ.” —Tom Robbins HUNTER: The Strange and Savage Life of Hunter S. Thompson Copyright © E. Jean Carroll, 1993 New Stuff © E. Jean Carroll, 2010 All rights reserved. This edition contains the complete text of the original hardcover edition plus some spanking new material by the author. PUBLISHING HISTORY Dutton edition, 1993 Plume paperbound edition, 1994 A portion appeared in Esquire Magazine, 1993 ISBN: 978-1-933698-36-6 ebook ISBN: 978-1-933698-37-3 FIRST PRINTING EVERYBODY SKIPS THE FORWARD Back in the 20th Century, people were frightened of Hunter’s book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. They worried about his iconic status and his journalism’s “effect” on “youth.” I don’t see any effect. Do you? When was the last time you saw a “youth” do anything more iconoclastic than defriend someone unattractive on Facebook? Right. Generation Y needs some pointers on tapping into their Inner Hunter. So does Generation X, for that matter, and, let’s not forget my own decrepit generation. So here you go, you dullards! You panty- waists! Turn off your iPhones and reach down deep. It’s time to start living! 7 Ways to Tap Into Your Inner Hunter 1. DRUGS. Get Off Your Ritalin and Adderall. The whole point of life is to enjoy your Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. 2. WARDROBE. You Need a Hat. Accessorize with a vicious Doberman, a clove cigarette in a holder, tinted aviators, tennis shorts-in-the-dead-of-winter and a woman’s wig with blonde limpy curls. 3. WHISKEY. Never Drink at Work. Leave work to get drunk. 4. SEX. Pretend to Listen to Women Very Closely. It turns them to mush faster than looks, money, or fame. 5. FOOD. Breakfast Is Sacred. Eat it alone, and never before 3:00 p.m. It should consist of two grapefruits (the secret of longevity!), six cups of coffee, two tall glasses orange juice, scrambled eggs with hot sauce, cheese and chilies, four rashers of bacon, refried beans, hot-buttered toast, two or three wedges of key lime pie, a couple of margaritas, all the papers, ESPN, and half-a-grinder of cocaine. 6. TALK. Mumble so no one can understand you. If they cannot understand you, you can ignore them. 7. DEATH. Don't be concerned whether your books will "live on"---they will die---the trick is for you to live on. Of course, Hunter shot himself on February 20th, 2005, so there were times when not even he could tap into his inner Hunter. Because of health problems he could no longer walk, throw bombs in the Woody Creek Tavern, or swim. The note he left read: No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun—for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax—This won’t hurt. So. You are about to read the new edition of Laetitia Snap’s famous biography of Hunter S. Thompson. Miss Tishy, though an intelligent person and a celebrated ornithologist, has approximately 1/79th the writing talent of young Doctor Thompson. We are faced with the old conundrum: Great writers deserve great biographies; but the person has not yet been born with the skills to write about Hunter. P.S. Miss Tishy has written an epilogue. As you’ve no doubt heard, her assertion that Hunter Thompson is still alive and living in the Punjabis causing a storm in the blogosphere. Ignore it. E. Jean Carroll Shall we begin . Woman Found in Hunter Thompson's Cesspool "She Pestered Me for Sex in My Hot Tub," Claims Outlaw Writer ASPEN, COLO., Feb. 14 (AP)-Acting on telephone calls from nervous local residents, Pitkin County Sheriff Deputies early this morning discovered a 24-year-old scantily clad woman in an abandoned cesspool behind the secluded mountain home of famed "gonzo" journalist Hunter S. Thompson. The woman, who appeared well-fed, with no apparent marks of violence on her body, gave her name as Miss Laetitia Snap, an ornithologist and contributing editor to American Wildlife magazine. Friends of Miss Snap have described her as a "shy, refined" Ph.D., an "illustrious authority on peacocks," and an executive vice-president of the Indiana chapter of the lzaak Walton Society. She was reported missing from her Huntertown, Indiana, home 11Yz weeks ago by members of the Allen County Bird-Watchers Association. Forced to Compose Biography Miss Snap, wearing only a pair of men's boxer shorts and a polka-dotted purple kerchief tied around her chest, told reporters who had gathered at the scene that Dr. Thompson held her captive in the cesspool, a dry cement pit measuring 15 x 8 feet, and after repeatedly "indulging his perverted appetites," had forced Miss Snap to write his biography. "He made me compose this revolting record of human calamity," said the red- haired pavologist, who is 5 feet, 3 inches tall, 106 pounds, and a former Miss Indiana. "It's all here," she said, removing a manuscript from a broken leather case, "the history of the biggest degenerate of the 20th century." Miss Snap, who said she had not slept in many days because of "seal bombs being dropped in the cesspool," declared that she was giving the manuscript to a fellow Hoosier, E. Jean Carroll, an acquaintance of Dr. Thompson, to be edited, and added: "And then the world will fairly call him a hog." Last Arrested for Tweaking Dr. Thompson, the inspiration for Uncle Duke in the "Doonesbury" comic strip, told reporters that "Miss Tishy Snap is an inebriated nymphomaniac," and said she had pestered him for sex in his hot tub. He had no further comment as he arrived for questioning at the Sheriff's office at 530 Main Street in Aspen. Ranked by many critics with Swift, Gogol and Twain, Dr. Thompson is the author of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," "Hell's Angels," 'The Great Shark Hunt" and several other best-sellers. His "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72" was cited by the New York Tunes as the best campaign book ever published. To quote Professor Cybriane Vonne of Harvard University, "Hunter Thompson falls most naturally into place not with other writers, but with the great myths of Western Civilization: Ulysses, Faust, Dorian Gray." Dr. Thompson first came to the nation's attention in 1970 when he ran for Sheriff of Aspen on the FreakPower ticket, and nearly won. "Where the Buffalo Roam," a movie starring Bill Murray, is based on Dr. Thompson's life. Johnny Depp starred as Dr. Thompson in the film, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." A symbol of freedom around the globe, Dr. Thompson was last arrested in 1990 for brutally tweaking the breast of Porn Queen Gail Palmer Slater. That case was dismissed for lack of evidence. Miss Snap's 667-page manuscript, which carries one of the most astonishing sex scenes of the modem era, is rumored to contain many "shocking and disgusting" surprises, and has excited speculation among some experts that Thompson himself may be its author.