Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Fall 10-21-2005

Volume 41 - Issue 07 - Friday, October 21, 2005

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 41 - Issue 07 - Friday, October 21, 2005" (2005). The Rose Thorn Archive. 217. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/217

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ROSE-HULMAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY T ERRE HAUTE, INDIANA Friday, October 21, 2005 Volume 41, Issue 7

News Briefs Career Fair second largest ever

By Alex Clerc Alex Clerc News Editor Jackson moves to n Wednesday, Oc- Bahrain tober 19, fi nding a job became a little Michael Jackson’s lawyers easier when over have confi rmed that he is now Oa hundred companies from permanently living outside of the around the country came to United States in the Arab state of recruit at Rose-Hulman. It Bahrain. Jackson and his three was Rose’s second largest Ca- children — Prince Michael, Paris, reer Fair ever with 141 compa- and Prince Michael II — left in a nies and over 340 recruiters in private jet at the end of June. attendance — nearly one re- cruiter for every Rose-Hulman Jackson has reportedly been senior. The event was orga- living in a palace owned by Prince nized by 75 student volunteers Abdullah bin Hamen Al Khalifa, led by Catherine Walker and the son of Bahrain’s King Hamad. Stefani Vande Lune. The neverland estate may soon go “It’s extremely overwhelm- on the market — staff have already ing,” said Emily Zeigler, a Christina Davis / Rose Thorn moved the animals out of Jackson’s sophomore civil engineering Students mingle with company representatives Wednesday. On Thursday, the recruitment private zoo. major, regarding the size of the process continued with over 850 on-campus interviews. Career Fair. “I thought there were a lot of nized – the student volunteers role model. Now you’re help- fessors – they have a lot of im- good companies here. There did a wonderful job. This is a ing other people out.” John- portant business contacts.” were more companies than I great opportunity to meet a son fi rst came in contact with Students also had sugges- Useful mineral could talk to,” commented Bri- lot of excellent candidates in a Guidant at his senior year Ca- tions for improvement: “I’d discovered on moon an Thompson, a junior electri- short time.” reer Fair. like companies to display what cal engineering major. There were several Rose- Jeremy Price, a ’99 com- classes they are looking for Scientists using the Hubble Space Reactions from company Hulman alumni at the Career puter engineering alumnus, [e.g. seniors only] so you don’t Telescope have confi rmed the recruiters were generally very Fair recruiting for companies, was representing Southwest have to waste time standing in presence of a mineral on the moon positive. Matt Wolfe, a 1982 some having graduated as Research Institute from San lines,” said sophomore John that might someday be converted to Rose-Hulman alumnus with recently as May of 2005. For Antonio, Texas. Five years ago, O’Grady. a degree in mechanical engi- example, Matt Johnson, a he said, the Career Fair had a “It seems like most compa- breathable oxygen and rocket fuel for neering was at the Career Fair 2005 alumnus with a degree much higher percentage of In- nies just want you to submit human explorers. Researchers said for the fi rst time representing in computer engineering, was diana companies. “The mix of your application online,” said Wednesday that they have detected the National Air and Space at the Career Fair representing employers is better now.” sophomore Chris Casillas. ilmenite — a compound of iron, Intelligence Center (NASIC). Guidant. He said of working Price also mentioned, “I like titanium and oxygen — at two old He said, “It’s wonderfully orga- the Career Fair, “You feel like a coming back to talk to the pro- Continued on Page 3... Apollo landing sites and one other region on the surface of the moon. NASA offi cials say that this ABET reaccredidation begins foundational work will help a lunar prospecting orbiter due for launch Angela Smiley Rose has been accredited for liams, Associate Professor of gineering programs have held in 2008. All are designed to help Assisstant News Editor almost seventy years, but like English and Executive Direc- this honor since the Institute’s plan for manned landings as early as all ABET institutions, it must be tor of IRPA. “What ABET is fi rst evaluation in 1936, while Our time is fast approach- reaccredited every six years. interested in seeing from an the chemical engineering pro- 2018. For Hubble scientists hoping ing. Across campus, faculty As part of the review pro- institute like ours is that we gram was accredited in 1950 for a space shuttle mission to service and administrators are even cess, Rose must compile infor- have well-defi ned goals... and and the computer engineer- and upgrade the aging telescope, busier than usual. Professors mation on required courses as that a process is in place for ing program in 1995. That the moon observation was a good are reviewing syllabi, evaluat- well as information about stu- collecting feedback” on how number stands to increase opportunity to demonstrate Hubble’s ing performance, and saving dent back- well the during the upcoming evalu- utility. examples of student submis- grounds Lots of information comes goals are ation, since programs in the sions on assignments, projects and per- out when you’re talking to being met. ABBE, CSSE and PHOE de- and exams. Some are sending formance. ABET’s ac- partments may be eligible for Lemke-Oliver wins surveys to alumni and employ- Some of students. If they’re excited... creditation accreditation. Currently, pro- ers. Members of IRPA, the Of- this infor- it will be clear; if there are materials grams in these departments freshman math contest fi ce of Institutional Research, mation is problems, they won’t be shy. stress act- are not ABET-accredited; Planning and Assessment, are provided on ing on this however, if they successfully Mathematics major Robert Lemke- compiling statistics and feed- an institu- feedback, receive accreditation during Oliver achieved fi rst-place honors back from the past six years. tional level, — Patricia Brackin, with a sec- the 2006-2007 cycle, the ABET in the seventeenth annual Alfred R. All these efforts are directed to- such as the ABET program evaluator tion of each certifi cation can be applied Schmidt Freshman Mathematics wards preparing for accredita- ethnic com- depart- retroactively to past degrees. Competition. Twelve students tion, the process by which the position ment’s re- While all departments must participated in the two-hour value of a degree from a college of the freshman classes, but port devoted to discussing the provide some information competition to solve six challenging or university is confi rmed by much of it is provided through department’s efforts to better about required courses, it is problems. an objective source. a set of ‘self-study reports’ pre- achieve its goals and correct these departments with spe- Rose-Hulman is accredited pared by each engineering de- fl aws identifi ed during past cifi cally accredited degree pro- Harry Henman, a mathematics through ABET, a recognized partment. accreditation cycles. grams that must prepare the major form Muncie, Ind., placed national organization which “Essentially what we’re do- Five programs at Rose-Hul- comprehensive ‘self-study re- second and Jon Gray, a physics major evaluates engineering and ap- ing is writing the story about man have previously been ports’ mandated by ABET. from La Porte, Ind., was third. plied science programs at uni- what a Rose-Hulman educa- accredited by ABET: the civil, versities in the United States. tion is,” explained Julia Wil- electrical and mechanical en- Continued on Page 3...

News Entertainment Opinions Sports Flipside

Ohrn receives honor, That’s not James Bond! Iraq’s fi rst constitution We’ve got another win. Get that pudding out of Zoetewey joins Rose. and an opinion on SIG. my jell-o.

Page 3 Pages 4 & 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 2 CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn Classifi eds Crossword Puzzle Jim Sedoff For Rent Staff Writer 2 Bedroom House for 2-3 persons. Very clean and new paint. Fridge/Range/AC/Washer Dryer Hookup. Con- vient to campus. In a good neighborhood. Off-street parking. No Pets. 24 hr. maintenance. 9-12 Month lease. 478-9286. Tutor Needed Math tutor needed for the senior high school student. Help needed in calculus, algebra, and SAT preparation. Call 877-2540. Sharp Flats

Gorgeous, Spacious, Beautiful are only a few words to describe this lovely three bedroom apartment located at 904 S 6th St. Features also include sunny kitchen, off street parking, laundry facilities, two full baths, and lots of closets. $335 per person (based on three people) in- cludes heat, water, and sewer. Call Sharp Flats, LLC at 877-1146 to see this gem.

Swag’s Screenprinting Clues Custom Printed Tees, Hoodies, Baseball & More. Call Down 232-6947 for Prices. Swag’s Screenprinting 2950 S. 7th. Across 1 Fight Song, 3 of 4 Always lower than internet prices. Free Artwork/Fast 4 Fight Song, 1 of 4 2 Bob Marley’s masterpieces were Service. 6 To hide your fi gure you could use ______, not country _ ___ leaf. 3 Stone, Iron, Bronze, Industrial, and Frazer Apts 9 Fight Song, 2 of 4 Computer Now renting studios and 1-5 bedroom apartments and 10 “Resistance is futile” 5 Just __ it 12 For example 6 Onomatopoeia to get someone’s houses. Our apartments are clean and well-maintained. 13 “You are,” to Prof. Gardner attention We specialize in affordable housing for responsible stu- 14 The Monkey 7 Fight Song, 4 of 4 dents. Call Frazer Apartments 232-4486. Our tenants are 16 Misspelled plural of birds on campus 8 Dreaded syllable for Python’s our best reference. or a misspelled magical vow monosyllabic knights Sharp Flats East 17 ___ r0x0r 10 A way to get a treat or a term paper 21 The sound a Greek kitten makes extension Some availability now. Effi ciencies, one bedrooms, and 23 Holy Buddhist syllable, from the 11 StarCraft detainee acronym studios. Walking distance to Rose-Hulman. Enjoy the Hindu primordial mantra 15 These entities would not like our convenience to campus, reasonable prices, and nice 24 Article about this club appeared in course management system community. Flexible terms. Some furnished units avail- the paper last week 18 Dip for pita able. Call 877-1146 to check it out. Try our Trails End 25 A fraternity sums up this letter 19 Hopefully, recent hiring practices 26 RH, VA, SL and GL department; also, match the name of recent “Career” event deli! free t-shirt with minor 20 This week, we print an opinion about MOVIE NIGHT this group 22 Thanks to this, Subway is kind of free Come to MOVIE NIGHT Thursday, October 27, 8:30 p.m. For last week’s solution, visit the Humor section of the Thorn Website at http://rose-hulman.edu/thorn for a free movie, fun, and relaxation. Everyone is wel- come. Bring a friend! The 004 Show United Campus Ministries, 321 N 7th With Special Guest Bob Bright Web Savvy? Saturday Be Webmaster for The Thorn! 10 PM-Midnight on The Monkey Contact [email protected] WMHD 90.7 FM - wmhdradio.org Editorial Staff The Rose Thorn Thorn Staff Editor-in-Chief Lissa Avery Writers Bridget Mayer News Editor Alex Clerc CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Benjamin Mann Assistant News Editor Angela Smiley Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Jon Ogilvie Opinions Editor Aaron Meles Phone:(812)877-8255 Philip Becker Entertainment Editor Mike Jones Fax: (812)877-8166 Alvin Anassi Sports Editor Mike Ferguson E-mail: [email protected] Patrick Barrett Humor Editor Gregory Weir http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Ryan Schultz Layout Manager Andrea Brown Jessica Rogers Fred Webber Copy Editor Bill Waite “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Photo Editor Ken Meyer Jim Sedoff by providing an accurate and Administrative Staff dependable source for news and information.” Cartoonist Erin Hudson

Advertising Manager Richard Ballard The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays Photographer Christina Davis Business Manager OPEN fi rst through ninth week each quarter Webmaster OPEN Advisor Richard House The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. TWO DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Offi ce (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, October 21, 2005 NEWS 3 Ohrn Receives Zoetewey joins ‘Realizing the ABET, from Page 1 Dream’ Honor These self-studies cover such program evaluator, the self-study HSS department topics as departmental re- reports will play a major role in sources, faculty workloads and the review process but are by Benjamin Mann Rose-Hulman News research, and student perfor- no means the only factor. ABET Staff Writer mance on each of several depart- evaluators will also examine the Rose-Hulman Institute of ment-specifi c outcomes, which student work selected by faculty In the same way a forest con- Technology sophomore Nicholas describe the personal and pro- and transcripts selected at ran- tinually grows new trees to Ohrn of Gary was among Indiana fessional profi ciencies students dom by the team chairperson. maintain its luscious, green at- fi rst-generation college students should demonstrate by the time Furthermore, a team of evalua- mosphere, Rose-Hulman must honored by the Independent Col- they graduate. In addition, they tors will perform a visit to Rose- continually add new professors leges of Indiana on Saturday (Oct. include feedback from alumni Hulman, and will likely view lab to keep the institution in top 15) at the Realizing the Dream and employers about what abili- facilities and interview faculty running shape. This is the third banquet in Indianapolis. ties are vital in industry and how and student groups. “Lots of in- in a series of articles dealing Sponsored by the Lilly En- well-prepared Rose graduates formation comes out when you with new and visiting professors dowment Inc., the Realizing the are to take on the real world’s start talking to students,” Brackin in the Rose community. http://www.rose-hulman.edu/ Dream scholarship program hon- challenges. Faculty in each de- remarked. “If they’re excited... This week’s new professor, hss/faculty.htm ors outstanding students that are partment have been designated it will be clear; if there are prob- Meredith Zoetewey, Assistant Meredith Zoetewey, one the fi rst in their family to attend as authors for these reports, but lems, they won’t be shy.” Professor of Technical Commu- of the newest additions to college. almost all faculty involved in According to ABET’s public nications, joins Rose this year. Rose-Hulman faculty, is Ohrn, a mechanical engineer- teaching required courses are timeline, all documentation will She received her undergraduate already organizing events ing major, is the son of Connie also involved in selecting the need to be submitted by the end education at the University of for students on behalf of Ohrn of Gary and Mark Ohrn of samples of student work (both of June 2006. The physical cam- Southern Florida, and then her the HSS Depatment. Birmingham, Ala. good and poor) that will be pro- pus visit will take place during Master’s degree and PhD from At Rose-Hulman, Ohrn main- vided to ABET program evalua- the latter part of 2006, with a fi - Purdue. tains a perfect 4.0 grade point tors. nal accreditation decision being During her graduate educa- the Rings exhibit at the Indiana average, is a member of the com- According to Patricia Brackin, made for each program and the tion, Zoetewey taught classes State Museum on December 3, puting society and computer Associate Professor of Mechani- school overall no later than July for undergraduate and other 2005. gaming club, and is involved in cal Engineering and an ABET of 2007. graduate students. For some The exhibit features digital ef- intramural activities. He chose of these classes she worked fects and props from the movies, to attend Rose-Hulman because alongside professors who were costumes, weapons, jewellry, and of its academic reputation and not used to teaching with much other special effects. “I hope we personal attention by quality fac- Fair, from page 1 technology and who needed to can get enough people to come,” ulty. learn in the new technological says Zoetewey, who plans on “College was always a dream of world. sending more information via e- mine. I wanted to attend an insti- Lon Farr, a junior “I Now that she is here, Zoetewey mail during this weekend. tution that would challenge me don’t like how some is already hard at work handling “[Rose] is a lovely place,” and allow me to blossom intel- companies are just here two sections of RH330 Technical Zoetewey says enthusiastically. lectually,” Ohrn said. “After fi nd- to direct you to their Communications and helping The teaching and organization ing Rose-Hulman, I knew that I’d website.” Farr also the HSS Department in organiz- work loads are not enough to discovered what I was looking for said that when he has a ing events. One such event not keep her from sitting back, relax- in a school, and since then I’ve choice, “I always try to too far in the future is an HSS ing, and taking in the experience confi rmed this feeling over and talk to recruiters who are Department trip to The Lord of of being in the Rose community. over again.” engineers.” “The companies should be in alphabeti- cal order. I have prob- lems with maps,” said Zeigler. While most students were dressed up, there

were some who stuck to Christina Davis / Rose Thorn casual attire. One such Sophomore Samantha Dick talks with student was sophomore Jesse McQuinton of Guidant. mathematics major Ely Spears, who wore jeans and a blue t-shirt. Said Spears, The Career Fair was fi rst held “So far I’ve talked to three [com- in February of 1995 and drew 31 pany representatives] and they companies, including Eli Lilly, treated just as nicely as if I was Ford, GM, Cummins, and several wearing a suit. They were more fi rms based in Terre Haute. The interested in my resume than next year, the job fair grew to 51 what I was wearing.” companies. In 1998, the Career Still, dressing up does not go Fair was moved to the fall, when unnoticed: “I’m impressed with most companies prefer to begin how seriously people take it – the recruiting for full-time positions. students didn’t have to wear suits, The largest fair to date was in but they did,” said Wolfe. 2001 with 185 companies.

Rose-Hulman Special Large One Topping $5.99 + Tax Sunday Only Special $5.00 + Tax 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn Out In Theatres

Doom Starring Karl Urban Conversation on Claymation Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak Lissa Avery L: Oh, man. Don’t remind me. Rated R Editor-in-Chief G: And there was even a Matrix: Gregory Weir Reloaded reference. Dreamer Humor Editor L: Eh. I wasn’t a fan of that Starring Kurt Russell movie, either. The King Kong one Directed by John Gatins Gregory: Okay. That was a was cute, though. Rated PG good movie. G: And there were bunnies… Lissa: Yeah, it was okay. Weird L: They howled. Bunnies don’t Kids in America movie, though. Wallace and howl. Starring Gregory Smith Vomit in The Curse of the Were- G: Lissa. Were-Rabbit. Make Directed by John Stolberg Rabbitೊ the connection. And they were Rated PG-13 G: Gromit. Wallace and all cute and cuddly and spinning Gromit. Come on, Lissa! It’s like in the air in the chamber of that North Country the fourth fi lm in the series! The bunny-sucking machine… Starring Charlize Theron Wrong Trou- L: *sigh* Directed by Niki Caro sers and A Close G: You found Rated R Shave even won You’ve gotta it cute. I know Oscars! admit, though, you did. Stay L: I just like L: Some of Starring Ewan McGregor computer-ani- Wallace and it was cute, I’ll Directed by Marc Forster mated movies admit. The Rated R like Ice Age bet- Gromit was a bunnies in the ter than Clay- huge step up chamber were a Out on DVD mation stuff. little cute. That I blame it on from Gumby. dog, Vomit, he Batman Begins - Deluxe Gumby. was pretty cute Edition G: You’ve throughout the http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix gotta admit, though, Wallace and whole movie. The stop-animation in Wallace & Gromit is truly remarkable Batman Anthology: 89’- ‘97 Gromit was a huge step up from G: Gromit. Gumby. L: Gromit, whatever. I ex- laughing at how hard you were great. I’ve done a little stop-mo- Mad Hot Ballroom L: Defi nitely. pected him to be able to talk. I laughing. tion, and I have no idea how they G: I mean, how can you not mean, if he’s going to be anthro- G: No, you were laughing sepa- pulled off some of those shots. Out on CD love a movie with that premise? pomorphized to the extent that rately from my laughter. I should L: Okay, so it was a decent L: Oh, god, here you go. he was, why not let him verbally know. I was watching. movie. I still think you’re a little Depeche Mode - Playing G: It’s awesome. An eccentric, tell Wallace what an idiot he was? L: No, you weren’t. You were too overexcited about it. You’re all the Angel British, cheese-loving inventor They couldn’t even give Vomit a busy giggling at the machines. like “Awesome! Wallace and Vomit and his anthropomorphized, mouth. G: Oh! The machines! are awesome!” That’s “awesome” Box Offi ce Tops knitting dog run a pest-control G: Gromit. And he didn’t need L: *sigh* with an “x”. “Awexome!” service in a town obsessed with a mouth. He didn’t eat or talk. G: You know, this really was an G: Shut up! 1. The Fog a vegetable-growing festival, and L: But he had so much to say… engineer’s movie. Rube Goldberg L: Sorry, dear. (*laugh*) So fi nd themselves facing a fear- G: Yes, chalk one up for cen- machines were all over the place. when are you going to get the re- 2. Wallace & Gromit in the some foe: The Were-Rabbit! sorship by The Man. But you did Plus, there was the weird cartoon view in to Mike? Curse of the Were-Rabbit L: You are such a dork. fi nd the movie funny. You were physics. Genius. G: Oh, I’ll get around to it. G: Oh, quiet. It was a good fi lm. laughing at parts of it. L: I think you’re giving them L: Are you going to have time? 3. Elizabethtown Lots of British-style innuendo. L: Sure, there were a few parts too much credit. G: I’ll fi gure out something. And the puns! that were amusing. I was mostly G: Nonsense. The fi lm was Man, that was a good movie. Elizabethtown is a SOCOM 3 hours of good date movie guns, more guns I also comment on A History of Violence and Wallace & Gromit Andrew McCollum cles ranging from gunboats to Oregon Daily Emerald tanks. The game’s vehicles are Patrick Barrett (U. Oregon) fun to drive and easy to han- Staff Writer dle. Vehicles are a welcome ad- (U-WIRE) EUGENE, Ore. - dition to the series and prove I don’t usually think chick fl ick Playing a shooter with the Play- necessary when traversing the when I want to go watch a movie, Station 2’s DualShock 2 con- game’s massive environments but I thought, to please my read- troller is like playing a game of in both the single player and ers, I’d branch out to fi lms of all tennis with a badminton rack- multiplayer modes. types. I was also clever enough to et. In a pinch it will work, but But the SOCOM series has nev- bring some high school girls with it’s awkward and ultimately in- er been about the single-player me to get the female perspective effective. This, combined with experience. The third install- of the movie. They enjoyed it. As the PS2’s relatively weak graph- ment’s multiplayer mode sup- for me, I thought it was a good ics capability, has made the PS2 ports a whopping 32 players in movie as well - very entertaining. a fairly poor console choice for a single game. The multiplayer Orlando Bloom plays Drew fans of the genre. However, one maps are huge and the game’s Baylor, a shoe designer for a shooter game has proved to multiplayer modes include all huge shoe company that he’s be very successful on the PS2: the standard shooter fare, with just lost nearly a billion dollars, Sony’s SOCOM series. a couple of atypical modes. and is promptly fi red. Knowing The SOCOM series has one The coolest feature of SOCOM the public humiliation that is of the most rabid fan bases in 3 is its weapon customiza- to come, Orlando decides to kill gaming. It is one of the PS2’s tion options. The game sports himself. Unfortunately, right be- most played online titles and 31 different weapons and 21 fore he is about to die his phone was the main reason to buy a weapon attachments. The at- network adapter for the PS2. tachments include scopes, rings. He postpones his death to http://photos1.blogger.com/img/110/1927/640 SOCOM 3: U.S. Navy SEALs, grenade launchers, tripods answer only to fi nd out his father Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst star in their fi rst fi lm together. is dead. Instead of wanting to the newest game in the series, and more. Each weapon and kill himself that much more, he give their best performances since aspect, but Elizabethtown is right is sure to please fans but won’t attachment has a weight, and feels obligated to travel to Eliza- Jumanji and The Rocky Horror there with it. It makes for a great sway anyone who didn’t play a player’s weight affects how bethtown to fulfi ll his father’s last Picture Show respectively. There date movie. the fi rst two games. quickly he or she moves. wishes, and to kill himself when is good chemistry betwixt Bloom Now, quickly, a tidbit about The keyword in SOCOM 3 is Fans of the SOCOM series he returns. and Dunst and their relationship some other fi lms. A History of more. Zipper Interactive, the should love SOCOM 3. I am not Besides not seeming suicidal at seems very believable. The other Violence was pretty good, but you game’s developer, hasn’t made a huge fan of the series. For me, all, maybe because he is obviously characters in the story provide for fi nd out Mortensen’s character’s any major changes to SOCOM’s the PS2’s poor graphics and never going to kill himself, Orlan- some good humor. true identity too early in the fi lm game play, instead opting to annoying controller make the do Bloom is a pretty good Drew I’ve heard this movie has been for me, and the ending is a bit add a variety of new game-play game unplayable. But if you’re Baylor. His romantic interest, a compared to Garden State many dumb. Also Wallace & Gromit elements. looking for a good PS2 shooter, fl ight attendant he meets on the times. It is an interesting com- in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit One major addition to the SOCOM 3 may be your best fl ight to Elizabethtown, is played parison. They are very similar in is very funny and worth seeing game is the introduction of choice. However, I wouldn’t by Kirsten Dunst. Dunst and Su- plot, but not so much feel. Gar- in theatres for Aardman Anima- vehicles. Players are able to recommend buying it if you san Sarandon, Bloom’s mother, den State is better in nearly every tions’ beautiful work. pilot both land and air vehi- don’t intend to play it online. Friday, October 21, 2005 ENTERTAINMENT 5 Broken Social Scene is good but noisy Mike Jones Not only that, the production close, with the band throwing in Entertainment Editor has a noticeable difference as probably 10 or so instruments to well. While most of the songs on achieve the affect. Certain things can make an al- You Forgot it in People were car- “7/4 Shoreline” seemed like a bum diffi cult to review, but the ried by the vocal performance of strange choice to me for the fi rst one thing that makes an album the band, many songs on the new- single, as it didn’t immediately most tricky is if it’s simply diffi - est have the vocals mixed down in grab my attention. Feist’s vocals cult to listen to. Complex record- the background. Also, more of the during the chorus aren’t instantly ings usually have a rocky period vocals are carried by Leslie Feist enjoyable, and the song’s pseudo for the listener upon their fi rst this time around, while Kevin surf-rock feel are just starting to listens, making it hard to come up Drew handled nearly everything grow on me. “Major Label Debut” with a review that fully captures from You Forgot it in People. The slows the pace a bit, and is one of that album’s sound and feel. I’m biggest difference is that Broken the few songs on the album that pretty much stuck in this place Social Scene has opted for a much is mostly carried by vocals. with Broken Social Scene’s newly less crisp fi nish this time around, By far the track that shocked released self-titled album – it’s so giving the album a slightly more me most was “Windsurfi ng Na- dense with sound that I’m having lo-fi feel (sounding more like “Al- tion”, which features a drum a hard time grasping the whole most Crimes”). This makes it feel machine, and (I kid you not) an http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/features/live/festivals/intonation05/index2 piece of art in a short time. noisy at times. MC appearance from K-Os near Broken Social Scene playing the Intonation Music Festival . In the The most important impres- The opener, “Our Faces Split the close. The repeating loops background is band member and producer Dave Newfeld, who by sion I have come away with from the Coast in Half”, opens the in the song are luckily interest- the way was beat up by NYC cops over the summer. Broken Social Scene is that fans album innocently enough. It ing enough to turn it into some- will not be able to assume they’ll sounds more like You Forgot it thing likeable. It’s followed by the nearly identical rhythm section the song are different enough to like it just because they liked the in People than anything else. An slightly annoying “Swimmers”, to that of “7/4 Shoreline”, has make it feel like multiple tracks. bands 2003 hit You Forgot it in easy trumpet carries the melody. which contains uneventful vo- some huge gang vocals and dis- Kevin Drew sings “You all want People. I seriously can not reit- The song contains one verse, but cals from Feist. This is probably tortion. “Bandwitch” feels calcu- the lovely music to save your life” erate this enough. The sound is lacks any traditional structure, an early front runner for my least lated for the whole length, with in the closing track of Broken expanded so much from the easy although it still works as mostly favorite track on Broken Social just enough tension to keep it Social Scene. Fans will defi nitely pop of You Forgot it in People an instrumental piece. With “Ibi Scene. interesting. Closing track “It’s All argue whether this album is truly that they’re just not made for the Dreams of Pavement,” the fun I was extremely happy to hear Gonna Break” is 10 minutes of “lovely” or not, but they will be same people. To give you an idea truly begins. Kevin Drew erupts in that this album didn’t lose its kitchen sink rock until it erupts able to agree on two things. It’s of what I mean, the band added the fi rst verse – “I got shot right in steam like You Forgot it in People into a climax worthy of American surely a big step from You Forgot 6 new members for Broken Social the back/ You weren’t there!” The during the closing tracks though. Idiot. Although it does collapse a it in People, and even if it isn’t Scene. song builds into an awe-inspiring “Superconnected”, which has a little under its length, the parts of lovely, it’s boisterous for sure. Entertainment tidbits Bruce Lee’s death and the new 007

David Chen house of Taiwanese actress Betty Staff Writer Ting Pei. This ultimately led to the congestion of fl uids in Lee’s New information on Bruce Lee’s brain, causing him to fall into a cause of death: coma and to eventually die. In spite of what I said about We may never know whether Bruce Lee in last week’s article, Lee’s death was part of a con- this legendary martial artist will spiracy by his former producer always be awesome. Whether or anyone else, but the police it’s him wielding a nunchaku like labeled this case a determina- crazy or using it along with his tion of “misadventure”. Here is a fi sts to beat the crap out of all nunchaku up for you, Mr. Lee. baddies, he will stay iconic in set- Order a Papa John’s pizza ting in motion the era of modern Daniel Craig to be new Bond: martial arts fi lm. He starred in He has blond hair and blue fi ve fi lms in his eyes. He may be short lifetime: dreamy for some Fists of Fury, The girls, but he’s not Chinese Connec- Prince Charm- tonight. The great Bruce tion, Enter the ing. He is Brit- Dragon, Return ish actor Daniel of the Dragon, Craig, who was and The Game of confi rmed dur- Death. ing Fall Break to With that said, be the next man Lee would have wanted his passing was to play the British very unfortunate super spy agent at the age of 32 James Bond. like James Dean. Succeeding Unlike James Pierce Brosnan, Dean, Lee’s who was in the it that way. cause of death http://www.bluematia.com/ last four Bond was as mysteri- Craig replaces Brosnan as 007. fi lms, Craig beat ous as Marilyn out a slew of Monroe’s. Much speculation and rumored high-powered actors, rumor, especially about Lee and including Hugh Grant, Ewan drugs, have been fl ying around McGregor, Hugh Jackman, and since his death in 1973 (which is Clive Owen, for the famous role. Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large coincidentally 32 years ago this Though still quite unknown here year). in the U.S., he is a big star in Brit- One-Topping One-Topping This latest news about the na- ain and was in such fi lms as Lara ture of Lee’s passing might just Croft: Tomb Raider, Road to Per- Store Hours... settle the whole debate for now. dition, and Layer Cake. Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am It was announced and confi rmed The next James Bond movie Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am 99 recently by his former producer will be the 21st 007 movie, ex- Campus Only Campus Only Raymond Chow and a coroner cluding Never Say Never Again 9 ONLY 7 that Lee died of edema, or swell- (not produced by MGM) and Ca- ing of the brain due to increased sino Royale (actually a spoof with Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required intracellular or extracellular fl uid Woody Allen in it). This one was ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST ONLY ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST ONLY in brain tissue. Mr. Chow said Lee named Casino Royale, too, which WHERE AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/06. WHERE AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/06. Not valid with any other offer. Valid only at 232-PAPA Not valid with any other offer. Valid only at took headache medication that will start fi lming in the Czech Re- participating locations. Customer pays all participating locations. Customer pays all applicable sales tax. Additional toppings applicable sales tax. Additional toppings he was hypersensitive to at the public in January. extra. extra. 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn In order to form a more perfect union satisfi ed through a carefully con- current state is a on-way ticket to that denies their religious beliefs government. Now they will have structed democracy. Ordinarily, civil unrest and a continuation of while embracing another’s. How- to begin to participate in the new this would be possible, except for the aggressive militant activity we ever, it may be too late for the government and begin the diffi - Here’s one statement the Iraqis insist see today. The people who are an- Sunni minority, who missed their cult process of making changes on including in the draft of their gry with those in power now will chance at representation when to a system they originally denied your new constitution: “Islam is the offi - not be appeased by a document they failed to vote on the interim themselves a say in. cial religion and is a basic source opinion of legislation and no law can be passed that contradicts the un- disputed rules of Islam.” 1000 Words Aaron Meles No democratic government Opinions Editor can stand with such a statement by Erin Hudson in the supreme law of its land, This week, votes are being tal- especially one that contains re- lied in the landmark referendum ligious sects that so virulently on Iraq’s new constitution. The oppose each other. A democracy process shows some great signs only works when the minority of a budding democracy: unin- can accept the rule of the major- formed voting, suspicious re- ity. The insurrectionist groups sults, and accusations of election terrorizing Iraq now show that a fraud. The constitution is hotly signifi cant number of Iraqis can disputed by Sunni Muslims in not do this. The government that Iraq, as it was written mainly by this new constitution creates will the Kurdish and Shiite Muslim only aggravate the situation in parties who hold the majority of that war-torn country. the posts in the transitional gov- There is only one way to ap- ernment. (This happening, of pease both the Sunni and Shiite course, because the most Sunnis schools of Islam in Iraq. First, the boycotted the elections for the Sunnis must accept the fact that transitional legislature.) boycotting elections will do them Sunnis and Shiites disagree no good. Instead, they must turn with each other in quite a few out to the polls in force, and guar- areas of Islam. Sunnis trace the antee as much representation in source of their religion down a parliament as they can possibly different lineage than Shiites, garner. and have a very different set of Secondly, the laws of Iraq must beliefs, especially in the areas of be completely secular. There is justice and government. These no way for the government to differences have been a source of be based off any religion and be tension between the two sects for applied fairly to all its citizens, generations, and are the primary especially a religion that is so reasons for the violence evident sharply divided. This is the rea- in the country currently. son the freedom of religion clause However, these differences was originally placed in the fi rst could be accounted for and the amendment of our constitution. two sects could conceivably be The new Iraqi constitution in its Shake me up The value of design

Lissa Avery For all the talk of SIG breaking the Ryan Schultz But is it as good as an iPod? Well, 80% Editor-in-Chief rules, no one’s been able to tell me what Staff Writer of the population would agree that no, it’s these broken rules and anti-Recruitment nowhere close (and that number is grow- Panhellenic Recruitment and the So- tactics were. Did SIG members make the I left you all last week with the claim that ing). The iPod has it all, music software that rority Interest Group (SIG) have been false statement that they were (for sure, superb human interface design is as impor- makes syncing a breeze, terrifi c battery life, big topics of discussion in certain circles or with very high probability) bringing a tant as the mere functioning of a device, if a slim form factor, terrifi c playback quality, these past couple of weeks, and not just third choice to Rose? Did they picket the not more. Now, it’s time for me to back up and a build quality that is second-to-none. among Greeks. With neither sorority Recruitment parties with anti-currently- that claim. Now you’re saying “Hey, wait a minute… the making quota and it looking like SIG is existing-sororities signs? I’m honestly BMW’s iDrive has more bells, whistles, iPod’s great features don’t mean that the DJ is a going to be dissolved, some are a little curious and confused. and computational horsepower than the bad player.” And you’re right to say that. But, worried about the state of women’s Greek The allegations of SIG recruiting away original lunar module. It functionally does nevertheless, the Dell DJ is inadequate. affairs on campus. from the sororities also seems unlikely so many things fl awlessly that it should be a Steve Jobs put it best in a recent article in When issues regarding SIG’s desire to since SIG itself lost some of its new re- model for every automotive “infotainment” Time Magazine: “The designers came up with bring a third sorority to Rose previously cruits to campus sororities, according to computer manufactured. this really great idea. Then they take it to the came up for discussion in Panhellenic, my sources. I would insist that all cars come equipped engineers, and the engineers go, ‘Nah, we can’t the sororities here at Rose were dead- But I remember my freshman year with BMW’s immaculate iDrive were it not do that. That’s impossible.’ And so it gets a lot locked about what to do. The issue was when many of my friends joined sorori- for one fatal fl aw: its human interface de- worse. Then they take it to the manufacturing then moved to the Student Affairs Board, ties. Their initial excitement and enthu- sign. To control this small supercomputer people, and they go, ‘We can’t build that!’ And but they made no conclusive decisions siasm waned as they realized that after in your car, you have to use what amounts it gets a lot worse.” The DJ is like that, a study before the end of this year’s Recruitment the initial gift-giving, the shirt-buying, to an iPod’s click wheel grafted onto a car. in compromises. A lot of promise wasted on a and, not surprisingly, the end of Panhel- and the getting to know each other came You scroll through menus and then punch device that is, in reality, mediocre. lenic’s deadlock. the long process of preparing for next this gigantic button to make your selection. Bottom line? Companies should strive to Could it be the numbers that ended year’s Recruitment: the memorization of Want to go back? Sorry, you’ll have to scroll release products that are as well designed the deadlock? Accounts vary, but Tri Del- the songs, the preparations for the par- through the menu to get to the back button! and as intuitive as possible. Not only for ta acquired either nine or 10 new recruits ties, all to get more members for the next BMW’s engineers claim the interior of their safety reasons (ala BMW iDrive), but for and Chi Omega 19. Quota would have year. The disillusionment increased as cars would resemble the interior of a space sheer enjoyment. If you don’t have an iPod, been 21 new recruits for each sorority. the new members found themselves em- shuttle were it not for this one button, and talk to somebody who does and realize how Accounts from several Tri Delta mem- broiled in politics and required events, yes, the iDrive controls so many things that I passionate many of these people are about bers’ weblogs and conversations reveal with fi nes levied for each event not at- agree. But, it could have been executed bet- their player of choice. that they felt SIG broke Recruitment tended. ter…ala Audi’s MMI, a much more intuitive Great design shows what we, as engineers, rules and “recruited away” from Tri Every sorority is going to try hard to (and safer) way to deal with the same prob- are capable of creating. If we can fulfi ll the Delta. One weblog writer went so far as recruit. There’s no getting around that, lem. After all, if you sneeze at highway speed, radical, yet awesome design of an industrial to wish that SIG were a part of Panhel- and acquiring more friends may be one you travel the length of a football fi eld with designer, then we’re worth our stuff. The lenic just so that they would have to fol- of the key purposes of joining a sorority. your eyes shut; why would you ever want a deluge of dumpster-destined trash fl ooding low the rules or be penalized harshly for But the competitiveness of the sorori- system that requires you to spend valuable the market nowadays shows clearly that any- their actions. ties and the unhappiness of some of the time with your eyes off the road? body can design something mediocre. All it Regardless of whether these opinions girls is an ugly thing that promotes nega- The iDrive is a perfect example of some- takes is a lot more effort, a lot more dedica- are offi cially those of the chapter, this tive images of the sororities. One would thing that does everything it was meant to tion, and a drive to make the best thing pos- statement scares me. (The chapters are think folks would be moving to remove do, and does those jobs well, but fails miser- sible, and voila, a masterpiece. made up of these individual members, the cutthroat image of the sororities on ably because its human interface is poorly after all.) Recruitment is a very struc- campus. executed. tured, rigid process that is held with an Bringing a third sorority here could dif- Unfortunately, we are surrounded by inad- iron grip by Panhellenic. Nothing can fuse the intensity of the competition and equate attention to design. Take, for instance, THINK? really be done about that, since Panhel- provide another possible fi t for women the Dell DJ. It plays music like an iPod, it even lenic is a national organization. But the at Rose that want to be Greek. We’ve has an easy enough navigation system so you e-mail: sharp competitiveness of the two current got more girls at Rose than ever before; can fi nd the music you want to play. Heck, it [email protected] sororities… that’s something I think SIG let’s move forward and offer them more even has a scrolly thingy on it so that you can (and a third sorority) could shake up. choices. navigate said menus effi ciently. Wednesday, October 12, 2005 SPORTS 7 5 wins, 2 losses, Cameron Hummel, Paul and business as Spreen named SCAC usual co-players of the week Rose Hulman News four touchdowns to lead the En- Majors were held to just 102 gineer offense, while Spreen had From yards as the front six pursued Rose-Hulman Institute of a game-high 12 tackles for the well. In the air, the statistics Technology junior quarterback defense. the are a little misleading, as a 98- Cameron Hummel (Dunkirk/ Hummel tossed three touch- yard Millsaps pass resulted in Jay County) and freshman Paul down passes to freshman receiv- sidelines no points. The debacle started Spreen (Williams/Bedford North ers, with Justin Meade making a with a completed pass on the Lawrence) have earned Southern pair of scoring grabs and Nate Alvin Anassi one yard line of the Majors. A Collegiate Athletic Conference Richter adding a third. He also Staff Writer missed tackle by Brett Bueltel co-Player of the Week honors af- rushed for 46 yards on 11 carries left Matt Foisy, a Majors receiv- ter their efforts in Saturday’s vic- to lead Rose-Hulman to its fi fth In last week’s victory over the er, off to the races as he sprinted tory at Millsaps. win of the season and fourth on Millsaps Majors, the Engineer 98 yards led by a single blocker. Hummel fi nished 14-28 for ca- the road. Rose Hulman News football team got back on track Determination is a factor when reer-high totals of 260 yards and Paul Spreen nearly recorded a Paul Spreen nearly recorded as far as our type of football is you know that you’ve made a safety on this first quarter tackle a safety on this fi rst-quarter concerned. Business as usual mistake and you’ll do whatever of Millsaps tailback Tyson Roy. tackle of Millsaps tailback Ty- implies that we’re a winning it takes to make it up. Bueltel For the season, Hummel son Roy. machine and, in the context chased Foisy 98 yards to force ranks second in the SCAC in of how our season should play and recover a fumble that gave passing yards per game (153.9) forced fumbles and ranks sixth in out, this may be the most ac- our offense the ball back. It’s and is the league leader in to- the league in total tackles. curate description. As with play like this that makes us the tal offense at 216.1 yards per Hummel shared SCAC Player all of our SCAC games, we’ve team we are: one that never game. He has completed 79 of of the Week honors with Centre shown promise in the fi rst half gives up and fi ghts for victory 160 passes for 1,075 yards while tailback Adam Blandford, who offensively and charged in the in every aspect of the game. rushing for 439 yards and four rushed for 221 yards and one latter half of the game, while Our strength, still and hope- touchdowns. touchdown in the Colonel vic- defensively we remain strong fully always, has been our Spreen leads the Engineer de- tory at Maryville (Tenn.). Spreen throughout. Though break- ability to force teams into bad fense with 57 tackles, nine tack- shared his honor with DePauw downs occur sparsely, we have situations. Down 14-7 at half- les-for-loss and three forced defensive lineman Dustin Hertel, generally found a way to come time, Coach Karras and Coach fumbles this season, despite not who led the Tigers in a 7-3 win away with victory. Big plays are Mathis inspired the defense to starting the fi rst two contests of over Rhodes. always happening for us with come out explosively. To start his freshman campaign. His 12- Rose-Hulman stands 5-2 on the game on the line, mostly the second half, the Majors – in tackle performance against Mill- the season and needs one vic- because we have a great deal of an attempt to try some trickery Rose Hulman News saps was Spreen’s second game tory for its fi rst winning season Rose pride. – fumbled on the fi rst play of Cameron Hummel passed for featuring double digit tackles in since 1995. The Engineers host Offensively, it seemed to be the drive with our own Drew four touchdowns in the Engi- 2005. Sewanee on Saturday at 1:30 p.m. a great day for our freshman Sandahl recovering the fumble. neer win at Millsaps. Spreen paces the SCAC in at Cook Stadium. receivers. Charlie Key, our star Next, two tackles for losses by running back, was not our pri- Paul Spreen and Adam Hel- mary weapon this week due merich backed the Majors up to an unfortunate infl amed inside their own 15-yard line. elbow that left him question- This would set up a punt and able a day before the game. offensive score. To continue, Still, he showed his colors with the defense would force an- a 24-yard touchdown run – in- other three-and-out and back creasing his career total to 36 the Majors into their endzone – and a 22-yard touchdown on the ensuing drive, which strike from Hummel. As I said, would force a third down quick it appeared to be a day for the kick (punt by the quarterback) freshmen as Justin Meade con- to set up another offensive nected with Hummel twice for score. After a small breakdown touchdowns, one of which was in coverage, an early score in

set up by his adjustment to the the fourth quarter was the last Fun Couples’ Games defense. Nate Richter added of the day as the defense would a pair of catches: one 55-yard force the Majors to give the ball touchdown reception, and back to the offense three more another 17 yarder in traffi c to times in regulation. Witchy Woman move the chains. There’s no love lost between You’ve got to have a guy doing Rose and the University of the Strawberry Shortcake the “dirty work” to keep a game South (Sewanee) this week as alive, as our wide receiver they squeaked by us last year coach Chip Taylor would put it, 15-7. We look to be productive Sexy Rag Doll Dress and senior Ryan Robinson and on the ground and in the air, as Hummel were in tune all game our passing game is advancing with 80 yards on 5 receptions as a complement to Charlie Head Nurse that kept many drives alive and our core of running backs. and aided in the fi eld position Defensively, we’re rolling with Little Red Riding Hood battle. Other big names on the a superior group of linemen day include Jason Dickey, re- and linebackers with a second- ceiver, with a catch to get the ary that makes fewer and fewer That 70’s Girl offense out of a hole; Brian mistakes each week as well as Phelps, Scott Schlegel, and Tim providing excellent run sup- Schrock fi lling in for Charlie on port. The only thing left is for Construction Worker the ground; and Hummel with our fan support to show up and his four touchdown strikes and become our twelfth man as we Desperate Housewife 71 yards rushing . pound our way to victory over Defensively, we showed the Sewanee Tigers. Be there strength and determination and show some Rose pride. and Many More all day. On the ground, the

Like sports? Like to write? Largest Selection of Halloween Accessories Write for Thorn sports! Shoes • Hats • Wigs • Hosiery e-mail us at 2501 S.Third St.,Unit D • Terre-Haute, IN • (812) 234-1315 [email protected] VHS / Fun Novelties Lotions,DVDs & Greeting Cards Oils & Incense / Spicy Lingerie Petite to Full Figure / Dance Wear / Sexy Shoes Wear / Dance to Full Figure Lingerie Petite Must be 18 to enter. Open: Mon-Sat 10am-Midnight & Sun Noon-10pm. Volume 41, Issue 7 You didn’t hear it from me. Friday, October 21, 2005 This Day in History In 1833, Alfred Nobel is born. His most lucrative invention is a manageable form of nitroglycerin known as dynamite. He later dedicates his fortune to the creation of the Nobel Prizes in Explosives, Flames, and Weaponry. In Addition Interviews for interested par- ties will be held in the Hulman Memorial Union Main Dining Room, at the round tables on the east side, starting at 1 PM. Prospective applicants are asked to bring a copy of their resumé and a pudding cup.

I’m sorry for spilling pudding in the Jell-O The useful advice of John Dullard Gregory Weir to banana pudding, I fi nd myself Philip Becker crashing through my door… then get a new animal that would eat Humor Editor tantalized beyond the human Staff Writer gave up, because even if they did, the cricket and the cat. So I went ability to resist. This tremendous (writing as) they would only tackle the cricket out to acquire myself a boa. It I’d like to apologize to everyone urge clouded my judgment as I John Dullard instead of me. I then lit a match made me look really fl ashy so I for spilling pudding in the Jell-O at dove, bowl outstretched, for the Advice Columnist and slid it under the cup. With could get a discount when I went the ARA yesterday. I understand upper-right corner of the salad a loud foom, the cup fl ew into to buy a giant snake. I released that no amount of explanation can bar. I’m John Dullard and I’d like to the air and the panicked cricket the snake into my room and went make up for the disheartening off- Sadly, even tragically, my ask “Why do you people do this to hopped away behind my ward- out to dinner. white streaks in your otherwise bowl was not close enough me?” I don’t want to sound like a robe. After dinner I returned to my limpid and pink gelatin dessert, to the delectable delicacy as I whiner. But I have the most dys- I took a moment and looked room to see that the snake was but I do not write offering excuses, feverishly scooped it into my functional advice column on the over at my roommate. He and full. But my moment of satisfac- but merely a reason why your rosy vessel. As a result, a dollop of the planet. Except for that one per- his fi st slept through the whole tion ended when I realized that comestible was corrupted by the monocotyledonous mixture fell son that one time, nobody writes thing. What was his deal with the the kitty was curled up next to the lactescent taint of creamy goo. into the adjacent container and in ever. And without you, the lights? snake and the cricket was perched I, myself, am not particularly sullied the sanctity of the gelatin. reader (and soon to be writer), So I thought back to a trick a on his head. Then I identifi ed the partial to the puddings and blanc- I regret my gross breach of all this column is nothing. learned back in Egypt, and I de- lump in the snake’s belly as my manges of the culinary world cafeteria etiquette, and beseech The other night I was trying to cided to go and get a cat, so the cat roommate; I could make out the (though I am partial to a good all of you to one day forgive my sleep, which I thought was ap- could eat the cricket. But dawn contour of the closed fi st he was custard). However, when it comes heinous transgression. propriate. “Errrrrr-ip.” Yeah, that had arrived, so I left the cat to his so quick to brandish. was the sound a cricket makes. duties and went to class. When I So I need some advice. Can Career Fair wedgie memories “Errrrrrr-ip Errrrrrrr-ip.” Ap- returned to my room I found him anyone let me know where to Alex Clerc Ken Meyer parently, the cricket didn’t fi nd sprawled on the fl oor mewing in get some snazzy cat food that News Editor Photo Editor it as appropriate for me to sleep desperation. I’ve never seen a will keep Mr. Cuddles’s bones at night. How dare this cricket more hungry creature. So I gave healthy and strong? Also, I defy my traditionೊ It had to be him some of my crackers and need a new roommate, like, ev- stopped. asked him why he didn’t eat the ery week, so Mr. Slithers won’t My fi rst assault on the cricket cricket. He didn’t do much but starve either. Freshman was when I turned on all the lights curl up in my lap and purr as I Year: and pointed some high powered stroked his soft kitty head. Send advice to “Help for John!” lamps into the corner where I So then I fi gured I needed to at fl [email protected] suspected he resided. That shut him up... but not my roommate. Wacky Prof Quotes He was mildly upset that I had the illuminating power of the “She jumped up, and gave “You get this for free because sun contained in our room. He me a high fi ve, a hug, and I you have a genuine geek for refused to take the animal tran- won’t tell you what else.” a professor.” quilizers I had laying around, so -- Prof. Christ, discussing -- Prof. Padgett, who we compromised and turned off Monday Night Football isn’t one of those shoddy the lights, and by “we compro- imitation geeks Sophomore mised” I mean “he and his closed “Nothing like a class where you Year: fi st agreed it was better for me to can self-palpate, huh?” “I‘ll tell you; it all comes back turn out the lights.” -- Prof. Livesay, on the to lunch. Food: the key to Of course, the cricket counted benefi ts of BE classes team communication.” this as permission to resume the -- Prof. House, on culinary one-line ballad he was so will- “How risqué can a comic networking ing to perform the moment my book be? I know what I am eyelids became heavy. I rolled reading tonight!” Send your prof quotes out of bed and thumped onto -- Prof. Stienstra, who’s in for or other humor material the ground from my top bunk. a shock to fl [email protected] I tipped over my roommate’s wardrobe and as it came crash- Junior Year: ing down I spotted little Jiminy Top Ten items on rejected resumés squatted in the corner. I grabbed Aaron Meles my roommate’s half-full cup of Opinions Editor water and dumped it out onto the fl oor. I clamped it down over 10.Activities: Square Root Club, philately the cricket, encapsulating it in a 9. Honors: Got a B once plastic cell. I looked around and 8. Languages: Esperanto, Klingon spotted my axe. I looked at all the 7. Work Experience: Bad gashes in the fl oor and remem- 6. Honors: Friends with Hertz bered how last time I used the 5. Skills: Can survive as long as 15 minutes in direct sunlight axe it hadn’t work the way I had 4. Related Coursework: College and Life Skills Senior Year: planned. So instead I grabbed 3. Honors: Live Action Role Playing Regional Champion my Axe body spray. I tilted back 2. Leadership Positions: Rose Thorn Opinions Editor the cup ever so slightly and fi lled 1. References available upon request, but I’d prefer that you don’t the cup with the sweet-smelling fumes. I paused for a moment, Looking for the crossword puzzle? hoping that women would come ! It’s been moved to Page 2! !

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of the Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of the Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions. Is it just me, or have drivers in Terre Haute gotten a lot crazier lately? Facts in “This Day in History” courtesy Biography.com. All material is copyright of its owner. Any unattributed material was created by Gregory Weir.