Britain's hottest hardman bites the bullet this week in
Incorporating juice magazine Guardian/ NUS Student Newspaper of the Year May 23,1997 Vol 27: Issue 23 DRUGS SQUAD BUSTS HALLS Two arrested Police hunt firebomb riot thugs A DRUGS gang is being blamed for last week's riois when Hyde Park was turned in crackdown into a battleground of bla/ing By JAN HENEK cars, u n'/rv l.diini /)<;u'.s. Police say the riots were a retaliation by drug dealers for POLICE arrested two freshers the raid on The Little Park as part of a covert operation to pub. similar to an incident two years ago, when the Jolly crack down on drugs in Brewer pub on Hyde Park Road was ra/ed to the ground university halls. after drug dealers were Special officers swooped in a dawn prevented from conducting business there. raid on Bodington hall, charging two The Hyde Park community agreed the riots have nothing students and cautioning two more for to do with lack of jobs or drugs offences. money, but are a result of the Police officers posed as drug dealers in an local drugs problem, which has been escalating during undercover offensive said to include the recent years in many of Leeds tapping of phones in halls of residence. inner-city communities. "They are going way too far," said one Bodington They say the drugs hall resident. "The police came here and pretended to situation is having a direct he drug dealers. It looked like entrapment." affect on the community. The two freshers face charges of intent to supply drugs Teenage girls are turning to and possession of cannahis. Both ha\e been hailed and go prostitution in order to teed be-fore Leeds Magistrates Court next month. Police also their drugs habit. Other captured a list of names in the Bodington raid. victims are turning to a lite ot In a separate hnst three police officers sei/eil a small crime. quantity of cannahis alter a dawn raid at Clarence Dock \ police spokesperson said flats. One resident receded a caution. they are taking measures to Earlier this month. 10 students were sentenced to 120 prevent a recurrence of the hours ot community sen ice when police interrupted their riots: "There are still high dope-smoking session, CONTINUED ON PAGE 2 LEEDS STUDENT SAYS: PAGE 7 COLUMN 6 INSIDE: News 1-11, Comment 6-9, Features 12-15, Outlook 17-19, Sport 20-24. Plus 8-page News Extra and 24-page magazine LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23, 1997
MEDICS rarely gain general they got the Graduation ball, owned, with bailiffs at the gate conscientious objector when sympathy, especially at this and a squabble over whether wanting to rob Hartley of the union finally put itself BLEEDS Ml time of year, what with all it was owned by the union or everything but his underpants. back on the political map by their whinging about having to Student Rag. It was an eloquent tale of standing up. shouting a lot and do a full day's work while arts Now, this might not be financial disaster to chill the generally looking stupid. STUDENT students are lounging about the kind of bout that gets Sky HACK stoutest of hearts, though Council's review of laughing at them. At this TV reaching for your A weekly sketch of student oolitic* Bouch botched it at the end by conference dispensed with the This week in Britain's week's meeting of LUU pockets, but for the people tacking on his catchline: "... trivia of what policies were Council, however, you just involved it seemed to matter Hende, the Robin Cook of and we'd look a bit stupid, passed at national level and award-winning student had to give them pity. more than getting home in student parliaments, offering really." focused on the big issues, like newspaper of the year Student medics time for EastEnders. cool intellectual analysis of Somewhere in all this were which delegate went AWOL representatives were there in Jennie Meynell, Rag the state of play and no one the poor medics, gamely and which literary style would order to gain Council approval Coordinator, had brought taking much notice. hanging on until their item best be used for delegates' NEWS to buy a new computer. The sonic exhibits specially for the (Van Den Hende has came up, some 71 minutes individual reports. matter had already been jury: old ball posters on which become such a constitutional into the meeting. They were Finally, the medics again. What a balls up: agreed weeks ago and so a the typeface looked similar to grandmaster that IBM are still awake, remarkably, but Hartley, who had been absent favourable vote was a mere this year's, proving the union rumoured to be building a barely got chance to speak for their business, suddenly Why many of the formality. had nicked what used to be super-computer to challenge before the vote of approval piped up at the end that he summer's events Yet, instead of settling it in Rag's haby. his supremacy on the bye- went through and they could would like to go back to it and two minutes and allowing the Bruce Hartley. Finance and laws, a machine entitled finally go home. make some changes, even have flopped Medics to go on their weary Administration officer, was • 'Deep Bore'.) "I think this union should though it would be behind the pages 4-5 way. the meeting decided to naturally putting obstacles in The nub of it seemed to be be ashamed of itself!" blasted poor medics' backs. A bit like leave them stewing and the way. rasping like some union paranoia. Gary Bouch. Daniel Zinkin. Not, forgetting your lottery ticket launch into some other debute politician that "not a/><•;»»•" of Communications, suddenly unfortunately, a revelatory and trying to buy one COMMENT as an alternati\e. Rag's money from past balls became possessed by the devil tirade against the red tape, but after the result. For The medics wouldn't have had gone to charity. and began to paint a just the next talking shop, this whatever reason. minded if it had been on the The argument raged for dixmisday scenario of Rag time about LUU's stand-up Council told him future uf the NHS or the price what seemed an eternity, infringing charity law and the protest at NUS Conference. exactly where to of Old Bar beer. But instead punctuated by Robin Van Den union being sued for all it /inkin had been a kind of go. LEEDS FINALISTS PESSIMISTIC ABOUT FUTURE Rioters FEATURE Dear John: There's a hunted new deputy in town, CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 sheriff and he wants visibility police in the area as a No jobs please, preventative measure. This is to help the students obviously for the short term, but we are reviewing the situation pages 12-13 constantly to provide the best possible solution. OutfooJr "We are talking to local councillors to discuss \\a\s of Moo-ve over darling: tackling the situation from a we're graduates different angle. We will he Richard Lacey, the dealing with the social issues man behind the By LAURA DAVIS behind the problem. "We have come up with an madness speaks out THE future is bleak for graduates, CLUB CLASS action plan now and are going to pages 16-17 according to a national survey which start implementing it straight away." revealed that less than one in five Leeds Councillor Brian Walker, finalists believe they will be able to find a leader of Leeds City Council, job. said: "Disturbances like those at Speeding fine: LMU the weekend are clearly student David Home This is similar to the unacceptable. We must national result, which SURVEY demonstrate to the majority of lives in the fast lane shows that only one in law-abiding residents of Hyde four students expect to Park that we will not let criminals pages 24 get a job after graduating. REVEALS turn the area into a no-go /one." Leeds students scored below the national GRADUATE Problem average both in their LMUSU President Simon expectations of starting a Caffrey said: "I think it's to do job and in applying for JOB FEARS with the time of year, them. local careers services, there temperatures are rising and Just over a quarter of has been little other support tensions are running high, Leeds students have made or encouragement from their especially in deprived areas like any job applications at all. universities to plan for life this where there is a low Most would prefer to after graduation." employment problem. continue with their studies Despite the survey's He gives this advice to or lake time off before findings, finalists were quite students living in Hyde Park: "If starting a career. positive about their future there is trouble, stay indoors. It The survey, based on after university. Toby tensions appear to be rising then more than 12.000 interviews Martin, a History of Art don't leave your car outside your at 24 universities, involved student said "I think I'll get a property. If any trouble occurs 17 percent of Leeds decent job and be extremely then call the police." l:ni\crsity's final-year successful. You have to have Police are urging members of student body of 3.667. They a certain degree of self- the public to come forward with confidence and self-belief, any details they have about the ON THE HORIZON were shown to expect a STORE PARTY: In store partying to the vibe of the unknown DJ, part of starting salary for their first which I think I have." a Virgin Megastore sponsored tour top showcase club culture last rioters. with Stevie Sunshine job off 13,300 and expect to "I believe that if you Thursday. Pic: Shaun de Wet Steyn FULL STORY: SEE EIGHT- PAGE NEWS EXTRA Saturday. A dry day with sunny 'be on £25,500 after five have started on a degree years. course with some idea of periods. Maximum temperature: 14C (61F). The first choice which career you want 10 destination for a job after follow, then you should Sunday: After early frost, another dry- university was London, with have taken part in extra- day with plenty of sun. Maximum Yorkshire coming second. curricular activities that will temperature 16C (63F). Nationally, only 5 percent increase your chance of Outlook for the rest of the week: Dry, wanted to work in getting a job." said Joe To a career in journalism sunny and pleasant. Temperatures Yorkshire, with 40 percent Richter, a Media Studies BBC newsman Nicholas Witchell. known by millions as one of this country's top journalists, average for the time of year. choosing London as its first student. started his career on these hallowed pages. If your burning desire is to follow in his footsteps then choice. Daniel Parry, a French your first move should be to Britain's biggest and best weekly student newspaper. We're always VWeathercall Regional forecast 0X91 501)417 High Fliers Research, and Economics student, was looking for new reporters, so come along to our office at LMUSU or call our news hotline and you which was responsible for not as confident: "I don't could be journalism's next big thing. the survey, said: "The expect to get a job You don't need any experience, just plenty of enthusiasm and an eye for a story. We offer you A LOAD OF BlliS findings suggest that careers immediately, but hopefully I the chance to learn essential skills, make your CV look brilliant, and have a laugh at the same time. Our look at the Wednesday lottery numbers . -:4s*ili3!^^^MP'^HflHHiMlP'*V>* preparation and job hunting can get something at one of are a low priority for the places where I have done students. Although they work-experience during the And the bonus ball: 34 have made good use of their holidays." LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23. 1997 'Coursemate ran me down' \ I'AKTIAU ^ SKIHTLI) By OLY TIPPER cyclist was 11.'It shocked and had escaped unscathed. bruised when he u,is hit by a 'AVe both actually went to car - driven by one of his our lecture hut when I got coursemates. there I couldn't locus properly. dreg l-rith. who is hlinil in 1 fell my sight go all shadow) one eye \\;is cycling close in and I couldn't see any of mv ilu- Pack Horse Inn \\heti .1 work." Red Fiesta overlook him. then He made his wax to I eeds pulled suddenly oxer to ihe lel't (ieneral Infirmary and was and stopped. told he had mild concussion The C'oinputer Science and should take some second year w as given no time painkillers ami go home. U> stop and CLiiccrcd into the Against adv ice the cycle-mad rear of the car. He \\as thrown student mounted his hike and into the road and injured his rode home to his halls of head. resilience Startled The startled driver immediate!} 1:01 out ot the car anil WLIS ama/ed to find it WLIS (ire;j he had hit. "I don't think he hehevcd il at first, hut allcr he realised I was alright he said to me: '.Are vou walking down to our next lecture ihen'.'"' said (lies;. 1'edestiKills who saw the incident rushed lo the cyclist's aid hut apart from a lew cuts and bruises (ires: believed he BACK ON THE BIKE AGAIN: Greg Firth has no qualms about getting back in the saddle after his accident Pic: Shaun de Wet Steyn Store SENT DOWN wars Till' wainl words rLiging belween supermarket anil university bosses has taken LI draniLitic turn this week with Ihe threat of legal action. UT//CV Kit-luiiil. \ui\. Leeds I niveisitv LsUite Seivices Lire demanding an end to the selling ot Lilcohol and loixl LI! the supermarket in the LUU building, claiming that it contravenes the lease. FOR £23400were necessar0y because of for more than a decade. He By JAN HENEK Union bosses have Dennis \\ardell. owner of the A FRAUDSTER who had falsified invoices for also claimed that two of his apologised for the scam: "No llaivcy's actions. "The welfare supermarket, has discontinued the swindled more than fictitious cleaning products business ventures had failed one could check up on Harvev office, the women's minibus and sale of alcohol but remains £200,000 of student and authorised cheques to be and that he had been behind because we don't know how all union societies have suffered adamant that he is not in breach of paid into LI Halifax account he with his mortgage payments. much things should cost." for years because of this." said a his conti'Lict. and feels unfairly cash has been jailed hud set up under the name He further churned he had to confessed Gary Bouch. member of staff, who didn't treated bv the universiiv. for three years. John Blake Ltd. seek medical help because he Communications Officer. "I wish to he named. A university spokeswoman Anthony Harvey. 45. a fuid been working too hard. have to apologise for this on Harvcv also faces civil said: "The supermarket has been in proceedings in September. former House Manager Suspicious Nevertheless, his wife and behalf of the union." clear breach of its lease on ;i There is speculation that cost number of counts lor some months at LUU admitted e\ wile were both in court to Managers became hear the judge tell Harvey: cutting exercises in vital areas \\c are very concerned, in plundering £234.000 suspicious last year over the "This is ;i straightforward particular, that the sale of Lilcohol from the union cleaning cost of cleaning products and theft of £234,000. The t'aci could he a potcntuil breach of our an internal investigation WLIS tliLit vou were in financial own licensing obligations. The budget between 19X4 launched. It was discovered and" 1996. He also trouble cannot excuse the university will take whatever lluil Harvey had been charging extent of your crimes." action necessary lo ensure tliLit \li requested that 99 other 10 times the real value for the The judge Lidded the \\ardcll adheres to all of the terms offences be taken into items and the probe revealed sentence would IILIVC been of his lease." that John Blake was not a longer but for his clean record consideration after he limited companv and had no confessed to one charge and his frank admissions of valid VAT number. Univeisiiy guilt. of deception and one security were called in and Pub crawl other of false they contacted the police. Idiots A CHARITY pub crawl is being representation. At the time of his arrest, llarvev was found with a Students approved of the organised by two students. In a statement read out Halifax cash card and a verdict, but were critical of Hundreds of pounds of rattle In his solicitor. HLIIVCV number of blank invoices I.I I Postgraduate Matthew pri/es IILIVC been domited and all said: "\Ve are talking about were found at his house Ik- Kelk commented: "I nions Lire pubs on the route have all siiven a large number of years confessed to police: "I'm run by such idiots. It's not £20. here. All the moncv I stole guilty of all the charges." surprising that it's so easy to \ rallle will be held at each stop was only, used lor general He said he had felt rip them oil. It's a crime on the journey. I'ri/es include a living. I had house repairs aggrieved after he was against studenls at the end of WLilkuiLin. tree I'V and video rental lo pav for and when mv prevented from working the day." Lind many more. overtime and lie was upset bv A university spokeswoman The event is m aid of the vv ile left me I vvas left with audits bv other, staff described the decision LIS Candlelighters fund al St James's nothing." referring lo him as "thai "appropriate bearing in mind I lospiial and tickets are avaibhlc al His crimes went undetected jumped up little cleaner." He the scale of the Iraud." SCENE OF THE CRIME: Harvey stole C234.000 from LUU iufopoints al I Ml 3 4 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23, 1997 CLAIMS OF INCOMPETENCE AND Balls roll
ON THE DEFENSIVE: Illingworth played a straight bat to accusations of racism black tie By MATTHEW GENEVER move the event to a bigger Pic: Sarah Davis THE summer ball season is allegations after it was balls and is just reward for venue. We have been revealed that committee all the work we put in to deprived a fitting end to embroiled in members had awarded make it such a success in the year by these short controversy after themselves a £10 ticket the first place." sighted people whose lack allegations of price cut. Organisers of Other balls have been of common sense has STAFF STUMPED the Clarence Dock ball beset by ticket troubles. caused this mess." corruption and have come under fire from The Leeds University His views were echoed financial residents over the ticket Communications Society by other angry residents. mismanagement. price scandal. Ball was cancelled last Freshers Gemma Vincent Resident Paul Kendall. week, just two days before and Claudia Finnigan sa\ BY ILLY HONOUR One independent hall their views were totally promoter claims to have ignored. "They asked us to FORMER England crickel supremo Ray By LAURA DAVIS received telephone come up with 150 names if Illingworth received an honorary degree threats warning him to 'We have been deprived we wanted to move the despite being branded a racist in a storm diversity." cancel his event. Jim ball to a larger venue. We of protest last week. He went on to say "The more we Albentosa, who is collected over 200, but Illingworth was awarded his degree know or care to know about those who a fitting end to the year by they still flatly refused to last Thursday as LMU bosses ignored a are not ourselves, the more we learn staging next month's Taking Liheri/cs Ball, have a larger site. They letter from over 40 of their staff which about ourselves." these short sighted people' told us that the Elland contained allegations that the Another prominent non-white award said: "I was told that if Road venue we had controversial Yorkshireman called ex- winner was Vinay Sharma, head of the I went ahead with this a Medical Science student, it was due to be held, after chosen was booked on the England pacernan Devon Malcolm a prestigious Assisted Conception Unit at event, I'd never be able night - which we have 'nig-nog'. St James's Hospital. She gave this stormed: "Why did the only 16 tickets were sold. to do anything in Leeds committee members Another ball has been found out to be untrue." Illingworth refuted claims that he is a advice to those from non-white again." Matt Bridge, a vice racist in his acceptance speech, saying: backgrounds: "Compete on equal terms. charge themselves less massively oversubscribed Other promoters when it's supposed to be a leading to charges of president of the Kirkstall "These comments are totally Always give back more than you get out expressed surprise at the committee, refuted these unfounded." and the rest will follow." voluntary position? If I incompetence on the part latest allegations. Bill had known what the perks of the organisers. claims. saying: "The University bosses responsible for the Illingworth was at the centre of a Marshall, Entertainments reason we are holding the award defended their decision to honour racism row during England's 1995-6 were I might have joined Kirkstall Brewery Manager at LUU and co- up myself." residents were furious ball for just 250 people is Illingworth. A spokesman said: "The tour of South Africa after it was alleged organiser of the that these are the ones who award to Mr Illingworth reflects his by ex-England all-rounder Dermot Committee members after their committee Graduation Ball was were quick to defend their decided to hold the annual got their arses into gear outstanding contribution to English Reeve that the team boss had humiliated amazed at the idea of when we originally sold cricket as player, captain, coach and pace bowler Devon Malcolm because of action. Thomas Rowell, ball in a hotel with a threats. "I can't imagine joint President of the capacity of around 250 tickets. chairman of selectors." the colour of his skin. who would go so far. Yes, "When people came in Illingworth shared the award During the 1980s Illingworth sparked Clarence Dock Student despite the fact that over a it's a competitive market Committee, said: thousand residents wanted with new names, the platform with the acclaimed black writer a row after he backed cricket tours to like everything in Leeds at committee made the Caryl Phillips who spoke in praise of South Africa. At the time he also "Everyone who went to tickets. the moment, but that the Ball had a great night Public Relations decision to retain the multicultural aspects of Leeds. He said: condemned other nations for boycotting seems a little over the smaller venue because if "The strength of this city is its the apartheid regime. enjoying a well organised fresher Jonathan Solitt- top." event. Committee Davis fumed: "The these people didn't Another planned event members paying less is committee have ignored actually buy tickets we has been hit by bung standard practice with hall the pleas of students to would have been left with WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR SPARE TIME?
needs \oiir h w medicines, and \on will he I'nllv recompensed t\n the lime von spend with us.
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MAKING A MEAL OF IT: Waiting for dinner at one of the summer's premier events Pic: Shaun De Wet Steyn LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23,1997 CORRUPTION AS CHAOS HITS SUMMER EVENTS into strife as Clubber
A 1HIRLY thug smashed a slight IV ma I r clubber in the face - shattering her nose, kids «ritcs \aveed Raja. a huge \ onuc thai uc halls iis iin easy way to get Karen Smith was rushed couldn't afford ut all." money, hut don't realise just to hospital covered in hlood A free ticket nn\ also how big a job it can be. after the attack at I'ropa erupted ill Kirkslall Hrcwery "Organisers ha\e lo learn nightclub, which left her afler il vvas revealed thai the hard way. hut with hall with a broken nose and a committee members did not committees changing every deep laceration which pav to go to ihe ball. sear the\ may not learn from required six stitches. Mali Budge defended the their predecessors as (here is "I was talking to this aclions of the commillee. no real sense of continuity." bloke when he came up to saj ing: "There is absolutely • AN uneleeted flats me and punched me right nothing ne\\ about ihis. We committee has come under on my nose." said politics do deserve these perks lor all fire from angry residents second year Karen. our \\ork. no nuitler \vliat after Ihcy \\ere forced lo pay "Itlood was all over ni> others might think." t14 lo subsidise an e\ enl lluit lace and clothes, hut 1 can't main did not aliend. ur/Vo remember too much after Chaos ChriMtii'licr Hltikc. he hit me. I was out of it." The chaos of ihe hall In aildilion lo the subsidy I'ricnd Anna I'andrich lor llie l.uplon flats marquee, said: "She flew right across season has been blamed on the room. I screamed at inexperienced organisers and there was a O door fee for entry lo the event. him 'you've hit a girl, the cosi ot tickets. Hnalisl you've hit a girl.' Daniel (ieoghan ciinnot Much of the criticism was a fiord to go to the locussed on the fact that the Bouncers (iraduation Hall. appointments to the "lie lun^rd al me loo bill "All ni> mates are s;oins;. committee were not approved by residents and also that then four or fi\e bouncers bill at this time of year 1 came over and grabbed haven't 1:01 a spare 40 C|iiul." •no rinsed from residents has not been accounted 1 him. Later we heard he got he said. "By the time you hire away " "I'd like to know where all ii sun iind buy ii few drinks, I he girls complained you're looking ill o\ei a Ihe money has go that security staff allowed hundred pounds." complained Law fresher diet Karen's assailant to escape. The problem of cost may Ruparella. The) were angry that be the reason that (iraduation The committee look office security tape was Ball tickets are still on side. after ihe AGM called lo elect inconclusive. "They said lie In the past the flagship event them was declared iiu|iioralc. escaped through a tire e\it has been massi\el> Rachel Hallisey, but surely the cameras oversubscribed. committee treasurer, assured would have caught him?" The inexperience of most residents that accounts would asked exasperated Karen. hall hall organisers is another be available tor scrutiny as She continued: "I'm problem. Bill Marshall said: soon as possible. angry at I'ropa. they have "1 think some people see made no contact or acknowledged that anything has happened. t •• Thcv don't care - at the I i end of the day to them it's just another student beaten up." Independent events promoter claims to have Club I ropa were received telephone threats warning him not to unavailable for comment. put on a Summer ball. Painful Leeds University Communications Society Ball Concerning her attacker scrapped after only 16 tickets were sold Karen said: "I want to see him pay for what he did Clarence Dock ball organisers award and what I've been through. The injections themselves a £10 discount on the face value of I've needed have been very tickets. painful and I have had to liave my nose reset because Kirkstall Brewery flats ball organisers take free of him. He has wrecked the tickets for a ball after ignoring the pleas of over rest of the term." The attacker is 200 ticketless residents to move the event to a described as 5'III" to 6'. bigger venue. with a bulky build, a receding hairline with Graduation Ball tickets remain unsold as the mousy blond hair and ol expected rush for tickets for the flagship event about 2S years old. Police arc hunting the fails to materialise. attacker and anyone who mav have any information Lupton residents forced to pay £14 for marquee about the incident is urged event whether they went or not. STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN: Revellers at a recent summer event Pic: Shaun De Wet Steyn to contact Millgarth police station on 243 5353. LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23, 1997 IT TORPEDOED THE TORIES, BUT IN THE REAL WORLD THERE'S NO DEBATE STUDEN^l.,KKI~>SHTp /,(•<- Editor David Smith Deputy Editor Ben East Eurovision's got SECTION EDITORS Arts Clan- Lister Justin Penrose Lauren Pushkin Books Spike Linden Thornton Clubs Sarah Monk Nick O'Meally the greatest hits Comment OULD we vote question for Britain now is its Sue Barnard for a man who obligation to notify its partners Kate Bingham of whether it wants to join in Alex Cameron Cwasn't into a bit the first wave of EMU by the of bondage? That was end of the year. Unfortunately, Fashion it is unlikely that this will Jenni Jones the question facing happen, thanks to the many voters just a few Conservatives who missed so Features weeks ago. many years of opportunity in Chris Leadbeater preparing for this immense, but Mike Pflan/. Because John Major, inevitable change. Katy Regan who asked us not to bind Turning to the forbidden F his hands over the word - that of Federalism - the In Vision question of European present EU structure can Joe Downie already be described as a Monetary Union (EMU), federal system of reasonably Music exemplified the typical clear and balanced divisions of Owen Gibson British attitude; that of policy responsibility between Piers Martin Chris Mooney nationalism and bigotry central and regional towards our European government. News With power tipped towards neighbours. So just why is national governments, and the Abbie Junes it we have such a problem Andy Kelk fact that the EU lacks necessan Shira/ Lalani with Europe? democratic requirements, there Naveed Raja First and foremost, the arc the few limitations in British people have never making it a true federation. Pictures (bought of themselves as Yet would this federation of Sarah Davis part of that foreign and alien interdependent European Deputy place called Europe, and nations be as distressing for Shaun de Wet Stcyn both national governments anil have never really wanted to European citizens, if the Politics for that matter. Even after problem of democracy was Tina Burrett Brituinis entry to the EC. comprehensively addressed? Jacob Hickey culminating in Mrs Thatcher's rallying "NO, URTHER empowering Production NO. NO" war cry. the democratically- Steve Cooper elected European Tony Keavcncy Euroscepticism and distrust F Oliver Quinn have been the typical Parliament, and embracing government, media, and accountability and transparency Science hence public stance. throughout the Union may David Adam certainly resolve this situation. Take David Mellor, for And perhaps Britain, as a so Alex Kibble example, that well loved, pants- Barry McKernan called Eurosceptic nation, down type of former-Tory would gain most in resolving its minister. In a recent article in Sport The Sun, he fatuously raves conundrum of national Zoe Feller Illustration: Ben Hall sovereignty against greater Alex Gubbay about the dangers of trusting European powers. Paul Wilson Brussels on economic matters. Germany supposedly has an In essence, the problem with Deputy the British conception of Chris Straw eaddictionf to the Social Europe is that being pro-British Total Football Chapter, and consequently has ithe highest unemployment necessarily means being anti- Koi'i Ohene-Djan BY JAMIE HALLUMS European. Furthermore, it is since the sorry days of the rise of Hitler in 1933. saddening how the Eurosceptics Television have re-written history to define Joe Downie Is Mr Mellor seriously Ross Horsley implying that by the Labour leadership so lacking from the ahead of the United States or to promote economic growth joining Europe as a turning Matt James government embracing a previous government. Asia. and jobs within Britain. point in the British nation's Jenny Wood common social policy, we too, Fighting for British interests Thus removing trade Likewise, for those who decline. are heading down the pitiful within Europe. Chancellor barriers, eliminating currency wrongly worry about German Thus it remains a fallacy that Travel road to Nazi-loving fascism? Brown will now, for example, fluctuations and sustaining domination of the European Britain has done best when it Tamsin Martin His unnecessary help finalise the rules and fines lower interest rates through monetary system, what is it was detached and isolated, and Jo Young comparisons can only be that will underpin monetary EMU will significantly enhance makes them so happy with the that somehow Britain's viewed as equivocal to scare- union, even to extent of the Britainfs economic efficiency current situation? traditional life and sovereignty DEPARTMENT HEADS mongering and yet more design of the new Euro coins. and prosperity. Presently, monetary power is are somehow in danger of being propaganda for the curved- Fighting against Europe only Indeed, the British people concentrated in the strongest submerged within a Federal Business Manager banana, prawn-cocktail crisp leaves the crucial decision- should recognise that our currency in Europe European superstate. Helen Whiteoak loving British public to enjoy. making, such as on EMU, to country is no longer that (Germanyi's), who make Britain cannot continue to Britain has, in fact, a far other European nations. Where antiquated Empire once made decisions for the strongest deny the fact that our economic Editorial hotline: more important role than is the British interest in this? prosperous by control of its economy? In fact, any change in and political future lies at the (0113)2434727 "resident sceptic' to play within Besides, the benefits of Commonwealth servants. German interest or exchange core, rather than the periphery, Advertising hotline: the European Union, and EMU cannot be anything but a And for those who lament rates has immense and of European economic and call Helen Whiteoak thankfully the Labour boon for British industry. Fifty- the demise of that valued potentially very destabilising political union.'Any other on (0113) 231 4251 seven per cent of our exports go symbol the pound, surely the implications for the rest of viewpoint remains (tantamount government may be able to fill to?) a detrimental and foolish or 085O 488 543 the vacuity of common-sense to Europe, and Germany is out- Queen might endorse her head Europe, including Britain. biggest trading partner, well to roll (off the coins), if it were Thus the most crucial conviction. LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23, 1997 EM'S PEOPLE LEEDS M CAN you THE STUDENT t>oWNl, I'M T* I MCI TO Cops play too safe THE police should get it right on the•* .bi igq*f drugi tp s •problemsol Hydnyae rarParirKk petorbefobeforre trying to crack down on cannabis-using students. The grim irony of this week is that, despite the inevitable diagnosis of the Leeds riots as rooted in drug dealing, the only arrests made in their aftermath were of two first year students at a distant hall. They of course were the easy target, though uch busts require an elaborate undercover operation reported to include the tapping of hall phones. You might consider this an invasion of privacy, but the end is apparently taken to justify the means. Yet at the same time the police complain of a LETTERS TO THE EDITOR ack of time ami resources When I i idas \ riots broke out the police were by no means first io ihe scene. Reinforcements A bone to pick with heads of state or just disgruntled at the amount had lo be called in from across the counts, of mozarella on the refec pizza? As if MEDIA EXPOSURE wasn't leas ins: mans students plasma the most anxious waiting game of their lises. incentive enough, there's a lottery-rivalling CASH PRIZE for the best Students uho. like other local residents, would probably feel more assured In a greater letter this week and every week. Write to The Editor at Leeds Student, LUU, PO police presence in [he crime hit area. Box ^ 57, Leeds LS1 1UH, fax (0113) 246 7953 or drop by the LMUSU office at City Site. Firepower So win then the urgency to turn ihe lull )("ii" 1 (liltir / ^\ Dear Kclitor. 'nepowcrol llie \\esi Vorksliire Police on a Mill I ,1 1 1 1 1 H . remember a single time racism, than trying to \ •ouplc of freshers dealing in soft drugs? in which a university get a little exlra pocket IN the war on drugs in Leeds, the There are mans, especially in the sttidenl AFTER reading last week's rather biased -^^^^^- boss was involved. money from mummy majority of studenis in I .So are not an community, who hold that drugs such as cannabis comments regarding the phis -oils mo LETTER!, African students anddadds bs using us innocent pans. We enjoy our drugs and should he legalised tomorrow. I ha! argument, doubt inspired by ihe Ldilor's lose for as a publicity scam we do lots of them, as can be testified lo hough cons hieing, is for the moment a separate Wolsesi I lell I should wnle something I have been, and continue OF THE to be. harassed by LUU I'lease lease us at aus Megadogotb) ihe number ol ssue. in llieir delence:- alone. Mnuul Ms student dealers m I S(>. As the letter opposite argues, soft drugs are 1 . Before the plas -oils were securits. and hase had r their union cards l'olitieall\ (.'niTed As long as siudcnls. among oihers. leenied In some lo represent the start of a introduced, only two learns wcie (Das id Smith and Laura continue lo fuel the demand, our Uppers slope, in this instance leading all the was iromoled. flic third learn has never been confiscated for allegations such as Das is). We don't need 'friends' in Hyde Park Road will roni student dealers in halls to the hardened iranted automatic promotion. sexual harassment, yet sour as.sislanee. 11 LMl' continue to supply. ihe police ssill iffendcrs in Leeds' worst blackspots. 2. Average attendances hase gone up Dear Editor, 1 eeds Student 'M\ Thankfully we do not agree with that philosophy. Smart, modern, purpose-built luxury flats for groups of 4-6 students available from 1/7/97. All have the following: "Central heating *Double glazing *Alarm and excellent general security *Fitted kitchen with washing machine *Fitted bedrooms each with wardrobe, desk & chair, TV point & wash basin *Fully tiled shower room with W.C.ftwo shower rooms in 5 & 6 bed. flats.) *Welton Road has en-suite shower room in each room *Sky T.V. (Royal Park Road) "Parking spaces *Within easy access of pubs/Uni/LMU *Rent prices from £40-£42.50 Available only at: 35 Arndale Centre, Otley Road, Headingley, Leeds, LS6 2UE Tel: 0113 274 6746 Fax: 0113 278 0841 ESTATE / AGEMTS ESTATE / AGENTS http://www.interpages.co.uk/mark pickering Gardening tOOlS are available on loan from the LUU exec office. They can be used on such as that pictured above when you have some spare time. LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23.1997 Q ITWAS ALL RIOT ONTHE AVE you all hero. Unfortunately, in Leeds it and it lingers with you. ERIC THE phoned your is just round the comer from even when the streets everybody and unless you were of Leeds 6 are a distant Hparents and taken hostage and dramatically police siren. told them you're all rescued through a series of At home I always GREAT right? elaborate and water filled take a couple of days to tunnels beneath Avtar then no get used to not having to I know it was only a one will be impressed bid a prolonged and little riot probably nol all You'll haxe to forgive such extremely audible that worth bothering wanton cynicism hut anybody goodbye to my two RETIRES them with, but well you who has lived in Leeds (i toi a friends from the local xcai or ixxo will know where it karate club who kindly AND so. in a blaze of tabloid know how parents are, comes from. Crime is as much stay in when I go to the headlines and crap jokes about they worry, and the a pan of the lifestyle of a pub and 1 haxe trawling seagulls Cantonu is gone thought of little old you student in Leeds, as placing a onlx just got out The man of the instant control, fiery stranded between 50 traffic cone on Queen ot ihe habit of temperature and strange Indian chief Victoria's head or seeing the hiding my parents tattoo has hung up his boots and tooled up thugs and a adxertising boards at llxile stereo in the cellar walked out to concentrate on gang of local drug Park corner altered by ami car when 1 go to the shop increasing his profile as an actor. dealers probably just eco-warriors. (not thai I hide all If um loved him or hated him it about counts as big Every noxx and then, xxhen mx \ aluables in the was impossible to ignore his ability something major happens, a cellar, burglar and the British game will he poorer enough an emergency to . types) for his absence. He will he use those last l() remembered for many great goals. credits on your l course. gruesome tackles and smashing a hole phone card. Crime is as not through goalkeeper Michael Howard For those of you Oeveryone in that Nike advert, but his legacy will is able to keep continue for some time. Neil Ruddock who are finishing this year then you much a part of their head do\\ n turning his collar down on Mnii'li of for a couple of ihe Day is still the funniest clip never will be on xour ooh xears and then to be show n on Question of Sport. - third'.' riot by now, Leeds 6 life as escape, grateful for He max have been one of the most so you probably only a couple of break- talented players never to play at the didn't even flinch. ins and a depicted CD Victoria Ground, but unfortunately his Lor those in the placing a traffic collection. Many argue, with career was always going to be first year 1 know it good cause, that it is the ox ershadowed by the events at came as a hit of a privileged and transient Selhurst Park, where Eric proxed that shock, but soon you cone on Queen nature of the student things really do go awry when the shit Ux> will he able to population that has lead to a hits the fan. especially if it gets up and accurately judge total breakdown in the karate kicks him in the chest straight whether you really Victoria's head community spirit of what was after. need to get out of the >^_^^ once a desirable suburb and it w ay of that petrol would be naive to think that bomb or whether it will shatter tew people may take an studenls are the innocent into a thousand molten pieces a interest. But the fact is that parties in a lopsided crime sate three or lour yards away. ex cry week there are stories of \\a\e. But studenls arc soft Illustration: Daniel Harness You see. when you're a \ iolent crime hidden away on largcls. cas\ pickings and student in Leeds, crime isn't the inside pages ot /. ^JsiJU^JteiJtiyQ RTTlNF L WHEN YOU BUY < YOUR FIRST PAIR for i»ar woric OF GLASSES COMPLETE WITH LENSES FIRST FRAME OVER £10 FREE LENSES MUST BE SINGLE VISION AND TO THE SAME PRESCRIPTION AS THE FIRST PAIR. W ii&fo r JT f» aid 3?esicf CT V, ftt oo*€»£? raff to cv/ic/S.Jl. JF ro [UNIVERSITY SION T I C I A N S Closing date for applications - June 7th, 1997 Lower Ground Floor, Union Buildings, Leeds University 10 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23, 1997 Funky chicken CHICKFNS lav eggs bette while watching videos ot listening to music, scientist* claim. Experts at the Rosslyn Institute near Edinburgh sa\ the birds particularly enjoy computer screen savet programs and others are fans of country 'nusic. Burger king BURGER-MAD Don Gorke. 37, of Wisconsin, reckons he has eaten 14.837 Big Maes - equal to live cows and claims to be McDonalds's No! fan. St Lucia snoggers SNOGGERS Alan \Vheldon. DISGUSTED: Horrified freshers Deidra, Kate and Natalie were served up more than just a tennis game 47. and his wife Sue. 44, Pic: Shaun de Wet Steyn kissed lor l() hours in a •.nogathon contest to win a Taribhean holiday. Sue, from Nottingham said: "We loved every minute of it." Porky posers PIG Fan Kelsa Ro\\ lands- FLASHER STRIKES Evans. 28. is launching a Tufts style competition for the inimals at Lord Bath's stately home in Longleat, Wiltshire. AT TENNIS COURTS THREE female tennis By KEVIN PETTMAN urned to contact Millearth police on players were shocked when a what he was up to." potentially dangerous area. My advice to I .eeds 2435353. But when Kate went to retries e a hall all students is to he sensible and take man began masturbating near him she realised what he was doing. care." reside the court where they The three have not been back tor feat were playing. Disgusting of seeing the man again. Gobstopper Freshers Deidra Tarrant, Kate "It was horrible and disgusting. He Upsetting Goodman and Natalie Nunn were ran away when he realised we knew what A GOLF ball travelling at playing on the Hyde Park courts he was up to. We phoned the police A spokesperson from West Yorkshire nearly lOOmph hit a woman immediately." police said: "something like this is full in the face breaking her when they noticed a strange The man is described as short, of slim always extremely upsetting. aw. Zena Mace, 49, of looking old man approach them. build with grey hair. He was wearing an "Hyde Park is not a particular Wokingham, Berks was "He walked slowly along the old dark blue suit and looked to be about problem area but it d(x-s sometimes talking to a friend on the court, and sat down on the side." said 70-years-old. attract these sort of people because it's driveway of her home when Deidra. Jaeinta Costello, LUU womens such a popular and busy place." the ball struck her. She said: "He looked a bit seedy but was partly officer, warned students to be careful in Anyone who sees the Hasher again or The shock was immense and covered by his jacket so we didn't know the area: "Hyde Park has always been a has any information about his identity is the pain was dreadful." Bloodhounds A BLOOD bank has been set up for dogs in Berlin. More Brown's Balkan drama NUS freebies than 100 pooches from pekineses to alsations. have Fresher's taxi been signed up as regular to go with card donors. Vet Stephani Reitemeyer said "After the STUDENTS may be robbed dogs have given blood they of their NUS cards if a get a bag full of doggy treats motion moved by Leeds terror ordeal to take home." University union chiefs is voted throuah. UTI'/C.V Jtin A PETRIFIED fresher was By JAN HENEK Peaceful in pink Henek. taken on a ••white-knuckle- At a Union Council ride" by a taxi dri\er on her fetched a baseball bat from his CELL walls in a Basingstoke meeting members decided to way to a friend's house. ear and attacked Kelly 's taxi. police station have been investigate the possibility of She was then showered in A spokesman for Leeds repainted pink in a bid to make City Council urged victims of withdrawim: membership glass when another driver similar ordeals to report them prisoners feel less stressed. from the NUS. smashed the car window with a Mat Ra>. Societies officer baseball hat following an straight awa\:"The driver of Cow comforts confirmed they are looking argument. am licensed private hire vehicle should always wear a FARMING experts are to meet into the matter. Kelly Baker. IS. studying Union Council member Public Relations at LMl' was badge whilst on duty. We this month to decide whether Daniel Zinkin has slammed being driven with a friend to would urge any member of the cows should sleep in watei the decision: "The biggest the Beckett Park campus. public lo make a note of the beds. The group of 80 bottins criticism of the NUS is the driver's number and. in the in Newport, Shropshire, wan lack of democracy.but that is Maniac event of a complaint, to to know if the animals product. hypocrisy when you consider contact the council's vehicle more milk when comfy. Dr the way LUU handled the "The guv was dri\ ing like a licensing section immedi.n Mike Kelly said: "The softe Sun newspaper ban." maniac." she said. "He Simon Caflrey. LMUSU the bed, the more the cows like History finalist Claire screeched to a halt at some President. said: "\\e it." Foster also criticised the traffic lights and the next thing recommend all our students 1 knew there was another use Amber Cars. Students THE SKELETONS OF WAR: Ray Brown's latest play 7s idea: "Students will lose the Compiled by discounts and benefits that driver at the window arguing should realise even if you have Normal' is to be performed at the West Yorkshire Playhouse with him. saying he'd cut him to wait a bit longer for a laxi. it Gareth Evans on June 6. Skeleton pictures on display in Leeds central their union card brings which they cannot afford to." up." is better that your petsonal library form part of the set. The other driver then safety comes first." 11 4 O LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23i, 1997 ew new Failure at school, bar steward for eight years and former official of the National Union of Seamen, John Prescott is not the typical New Labour politician. Despite this, or because of it, he is immensely popular. In an exclusive interview, the Deputy Prime Minister talks frankly to KEVIN PETTMAN about what the fledgling Labour Government means to students, to Britain and to him. Seeing red: SARAH DAVIS 12 graduating summer FREE FREE '97 or '98? BEER BEER ..you can become a solicitor or barrister Presents T.F.I i] I - 2.3Oam Admission £odb^4 rib . 99 with a flyer including Bottles of Carlsberg Lemonhead & Cocktails From llpm - 2am iPii Non stop party tunes & free II beer.. .beer.. .beer... .beer with Stevie Bee. For further information about how students of any discipline PLUS THE WARM UP ZONE can become lawyers complete the freepost form below or 9PM 'TIL 11PM phone: 01483 460382 CARLSBERG & TETLEYS 70P PINT lisiii€t The Colleg'—'e of Law : ;«ii ,: London • Chester • Guildford • York GIN - VODKA - WHISKY The largest provider of legal training in Europe 7OP SHOT* Please send me further information; Compfete where wopwte Ref; LEEDS 5/97 Title _ _Surname_ _First Name _Year of Graduation, Permanent address Planet Earth City Square Leeds .Postcode Term-time address. Tel:(Oil3) 2434744 *In (he interest of safety all special offer spirits most be served with a mixer. .Postcode . Planet Karth reserves the right to rescind these offers at any time The Management reserves the right to refuse admission I am interested in: (pleas? J j The Common Professional Examination Course (London, Chester, Guildford, York) OFF ENTRY @ PLANET EARTH The law conversion course for graduates of any discipline a The Legal Practice Course (London, Chester, Guildford, York) AFTER 11PM The vocational stage of training for solicitors which follows the Common Professional Examination j ANY MONDAY - FRIDAY - SATURDAY The Bar Vocational Course (London only) The vocational stage of training for barristers which follows the Common Professional Examination £1 VALID UNTIL 31-7-97 Please return to: Adroisiions, The College of Law, Freepost G1/2505, Gutldford, Surrey GU3 18R. 14 contents Friday May 16 1997 3 /fe© books Get as high as a kite with Will Self, as he downs a WHEN THE CAT laughs couple of pints of Juice and reveals everything... at the milktloai. u is because the badger feels friskv in the moonlight. . Cantona's finally music gone to tester in h; 8-ton uiices. and quite Irankly. ,m\ thing that makes Man I id fans weep They're back! Rising from the dead, Echo and the into their eider and black must be a got id tiling. Bunnymen in their first interview together again clubs BLOODY HELL. Johnny Depp in not just a \est wearing, supermodel flagging clolheshorse He's so hard he's named after a Zulu warrior. shock. Whatever next? Check out Jah Shaka, still true to his roots Canoe Reeves to discover that he too can act? "You kxiking at me. Mr Mafia Gangland Boss dude? Excellent man." Mmm. arts perhaps not. 12-13fl A Clint in your eye, Eastwood has Absolute Power over this week's local cinemas •THANK GOD THE SUN has gone away. Any more • 'revision sessions' on Hyde Park, and I'll fail my deg ^Amazing how the mind wanders... And Charles I centre interview ^said to Cromwell ..forsooth, ^did you see ye legs on — milady over there'? Sod it. ^Plei's go for a beer. Aw. 2:2. TAKE THE ROTH WITH THE SMOOTH: TIMMY TALKS AS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD HIM BEFORE IT'S STARTED already. Blair's honeymoon period in vision just Hew out of Number 19-26 Ten on delicately perfumed wings, and he hasn't even had the chance to get the Everything you wanted to know about living lingerie off the cabinet yet. Metaphorically speaking, but were too lazy to buy a TV guide to find out of course. Mmm. imagine Present! in a bra... ft television Want a Homer Simpson umbrella or Starsky • centre spread NOW LISTEN SUGGS. If and Hutch hoover? Here's the shopper's guide ^you really want a blue day. a ^iew males and I will be very _ happy to turn your skin a Wfetchiiiii turquoise colour with the aid of our friends Mi Juice's weekly rant at British culture ^Hammer and Mr Crowbar. Sod off hack to 1W1 and ^take your cray/ee cockemee C'fflOfl night of his work.' ()K. entire world lias M\ essays to causing an early liver failure.' ways with you. .0 I made that hit up. hut write, so why don'I sou Mmm. it's a tougrnc. isn't it.' Bryan Adams Unplugged CD Henry might have said that stress outs |ust get over it? When I sit in the pub of an just jammed on repeat play' had a) he not been born four So what if your tutor is evening, I want to get away moment, and where level ten centuries too early to have to unaware of the magic tioin a work schedule that equals 'Oh for f**k's sake revise for Pillage and Plunder formula 'Playstation x Thiec hell looked at and said pass me the revolver, at Exams = Re\ ision "Oooh. that's a hit demonic, NOT WINNING ANY least Russian Roulette is schedule heavy enough isn't it'.'" I want to discuss Cups. Not defending very something to do. No villain is more tedious to be a legal exciting topics like the merits well. Not going to have You get the idea. Sadly justification for of Ihe 5-3-2 formation and any players next season. murder.' I don't want the skirt to thigh ratio of (ien YOU KNOW WHO YOU this scale lacks a level than he who revises by Not a lot of people care fifteen, but should this to hear about it. Spice (lirl. What do you Not much point. Oi are. "I'm so stressed. I'\e got And as tor those of mean the term 'exciting' is so much work to do." Oh ever be introduced it will day and talks of it all night Robson. I just saw be reserved for the exam you wasting valuable open to debate .' We're Juninho on the motorway how you people introduce me liai space crying into getting off the point heie to new heights on the Great stress bores... to Manchester. Oxford At the height of his GCSE.andb) had he not your pints about workloads: Basically, just slop it. or... way next year. Oh. and Scale of Boredom. spent much of his time dying Obvious question I'll...I'll tell you about m\ Please contemplate for a powers. Henry VIII was our hairline is receding, heard to say "By the blood of of a nasty old skin disease. approaching. What ensures exam stress, (her a lew 'es, of course you can moment this great scale The point is that an essay is finished on lime'.' beers. Yes. this is no idle where level one represents a goat, there is no villain orrow the cyanide. more tedious than he who cvi'i-\hiid\ is worried about a) All night wining session. threat. Hey. where'd the S that nightmare 'Oh no that readership go'.' Hello...hello.. Chris Leadbeater^ re\ ises all day and talks all exams at the momeni, and ihe or b) All night on the beers 15 Friday May 23 1997 iction THE QUANTITY THEORY OF INSANITY WILL SELF PENGUIN, [6.99 is first book is a collection of short H stories in which the Gods of the Absurd and the Banal dance wildly round a fire before bounding together into the flames in a mutual suicide pact. Yet it all seems grounded in reality, as though Self had researched every insane person in Rochester and based a story around them. In short, it is a logical satire of the real absurdity of modern life, the height of boredom. The tale of the title tells of the events around the discovery that there is only a fixed proportion of sanity available in a given society at a certain time. One result Will Self has something in common with John Major: the election cost him his job. In his latest indiscretion, Self does the back shelf with LINDEN THORNTON and SPIKE. Self-portrait: SARAH DAVIS t's a sad fact that about it." the recent bollocks was being This doesn't mean he's of what it's like to fuck up like most of us have, or cheated into giving that comparable and they're nicotine will, lose their job necessarily a Blair fan though: confession to the Independent on this. I get very depressed about and alcohol. If you develop a I "I'll give Labour the benefit of the way I'm dealt with in the Sunday. I hated that. That's not at some point or the doubt but it took a real effort media and pigeonholed in that serious habit with nicotine it's as of will to vote for Blair. I hate what being a writer's about." He serious and life-changing as another but only one smokes his way through the way because if you actually read heroin, as is alcohol. I feel of this is that "if you use what he says about the family what I've written then I've been interview but looks sad and says: deeply sad for people who have behavioural conditioning to man can claim he was because as someone who's had a very straight about it". His latest "I gave up a couple of weeks a booze problem because it's stop six pupils at St fired for taking cocaine broken family and a broken book. Great Apes, does contain a Botolph's primary school on marriage myself, I don't want ago, before all this crap blew-up. lethal, it really is. It kills you." on a Prime Minister's I mean. I've got to give up. I'm certain amount of hard drug use I realise that this man is A nglesey from bed wetting, some fucking poll telling me that though. Risky fora man who the result will be increased election campaign jet. just because he's got a happy 35 and I've been smoking since I doesn't want to be a symbol of unusually intelligent, even when outbursts of sociopathic rage That man is the wild marriage that that is what makes was 15. I've got to chuck it in or degeneration? "It's very anti his brain is a little fluffed with I'm going to die. it's as simple as alcohol: "The thing about smack among the ten borderline man of the written a good person. It doesn't sit well Coke. I don't think drugs are the psychotics that attend the with me. But that being said. that." These are surprising words is that it's like chimps. It's either word, Will Self. coming from the of such an medium. I think that people use demonised or it's a cuddly toy. school". them as a way of exhibiting their Naturally the authorities After such a traumatic Heroin is either the thing that would ensure that the experience there is of stops your dying parents principal burdens of screaming their fucking lungs depression and course no better place to out or it's a discarded syringe on schizophrenia fell primarily forget your sorrows than in 'Heroin is either the thing that stops a fucking estate." Self starts on the ethnic minorities and a pub, so I went along to talking about his own mother's the working class. The help Self prop up the bar. death, saying that he dealt with it characters recur among the Sipping a vodka, Self was your dying parents screaming their in The North London Book of the stories and only their as glazed-eyed and downcast Dead: "My mother actually did personalities are described die like that. That's the most allowing us to form our own as a fresher after their first autobiographical of my stories. picture of a psychotic flower Otley Run so. tactful as ever," fucking lungs out or it's a discarded She died in the Royal Ear picker with deviationist I tried to cheer him up with Hospital of cancer in exactly the tendencies. assurances that it was his same way that's described in the unintentional publicity stunt syringe on a fucking estate' book." I mutter sympathetic e meet the Ur- that shaped the election ^ sounds but he seems unwilling Bororo tribe, the results. to let the interview become too W height of tedium Many writers would have those Tories really did some downbeat: "But what inspired who refer to their race as infamously hard man and I'm the story was a colleague of replied with a reticent denial and shitty stuff to people, especially own fuck-uppedness. It's not a "The People Who You quick change ol subject hut Self poor people, and I remain a touched. Sell, already becoming mine 15 years ago. She's a Wouldn't Like to be a little "relaxed' from the vodka pro-drugs book. I'm very tired of writer, very funny woman. She swung into verbal action: "I traditional socialist in that way. it." Self becomes very anxious Cornered by at a Party"; we think we needed a change. I If they manage any he's drinking, continues to worked for me and I was driv ing that he will appear to be the car. we were in Acton and empathise with the man who think we needed those bastards redistribution of wealth at all dismantle his public image: discovers that his dead "I've never liked those promoting drugs to innocent we were looking at the people in out. They've been running the then I'm on their side." Leeds students and suddenly mother lives in North country for 18 years and They've unconsidered icons ot Acton. She's from Doncastcr London; and we shiver at He may be unforgiving in his degeneration. I think I've always comes over all paternal and wise and she said 'D'ya know. done sonic horrendous things to hatred of the Tory government, so that I can almost see him the tale of the art therapist working people, they really but that doesn't mean thai he's been very honest about how I've London's just so large. It's so at a mental institution approached intoxication, the guesting in Blue Peter (then fucking hi/arre that you never lucking have. I make no bones unrepentant about the jet saga: again...): "If you get a smack (testing the Quantity "The thing I hated most about upside and the downside, and know where you are. It's like Theory) where the boundary not presented some iconic image habit there are only two things I one district after another". And I of patient and doctor does can think of which are said 'yeah, it's so fucking not exist. This is a good place to begin, but it does not prepare you for the direct perversion of reality in Cock & Bull. Steve Bull Til give Labour the benefit of the doubt 16 hi/arre tliat all these people in this reading in Los Angeles by a iction Acton could he dead and we'd think of things like that but iction monstrously obese woman and a overall il was incredibly haul never know ' and she said 'that's section in A/v li/cn <>/ / tin is of THE SWEET SMELL OF PSYCHOSIS a fucking idea lor a story'", Sell with the intellectual discipline course all about being lat. I got required to create < 'himpworld". tells this like a real storyteller so pretty strung out about not I have lo fight to suppress (he- Self explains that for him. a WILL SELF offending her. So at a personal novel is a process that he gets BLOOMSBUHY, £15.99 need to add a 'boom boom' at level 1 might be quite bothered the end. totally immersed in: "When I r | Tliis is a journey a journey into about not wanting to offend was living in Suffolk I had a Great A/>i"\ is all about human people but on a political lex el. reat ape.v,WilI Self's media hell. Richard Hermes. faults and humility, which Self rcxmi. my study, lined in post-It latest novel is the wittily A. ('Ilie tml\ mc.vwajcv ilii.t t;t/\ no. Absolutely not. There are no notes. That's how I tend to work. presents by having his character holes barred in this game at all." disturbing account of hriiii;.\ from ;//<• (;W.s arc in ti lixtin^\ Observations on chimp GSimon, a trendy London artist. wake up and discover everyone Self's books are always nuiifii:iiici is a junior reporter and as has become chimpan/ees: "I behaviour, human behaviour, who falls asleep after a heavy such wants to up his stake in the unusual, to say the least, so I ask correspondences. So the room think if you take a genuine whether the weirdncss ever gets drugs and sex session and clique of friends he has. Friends, is spiritual view of life, then itself was an analogue ol my wakes to find that everyone loo strong a word, nasty, uncaring too much for him: "I always get mind so 1 would look around and humans aren't that special are bogged down in the weirdness. around him has become bastards is probably more apt here. they? We really aren't. It would see an idea wherever I looked. chimpanzees. The characters are instantly That's what I'm about." Did he When I moved hack down to help us to preserve ourselves a enjoy writing Crrai /\/>r\'.' The reader follows Simon believable, and a guide to any lot more if we really took that on London, the newsagent's around through the bizarre world of graduates what can reasonably be the corner went out of business board". He's deeply concerned "o, it was a terrible chimps, which is almost exactly expected in \arions diluted forms, for the future of chimpan/ees as and the postcard rack was out on the same as our own, and sees when we get jobs. It's not a funny fucking labour. the pavement so I took that and it predicted that they will be . Some of it was him undergo intensive therapy book, it's hilarious instead. Hermes is extinct within 50 years. "Ns did the same thing with it. I for his delusions that he his funny. When I write books 1 ultimately a pral but provides the There is. he says, something covered it with cards saying human. Great apes is a superb only (only just) tender moment in the actually have set pieces in mind "remember chimps scratch all the distinctly scary about kicking and with Chimpworld I actually novel that will have you taxi when seeing a double amputee. away the last rung on the time' and 'remember what it chuckling merrily at the same This is black humour at it's best. It is had a scene in mind that was might be like to have a scab evolutional ladder before never put in the book. I don't time as provoking some pretty easily read, the prose is crisp, the yourself: "If Mankind wins the under fur", hundreds of ideas or disturbing thoughts on men's know if you've ever been to literary references. It's still set up observations shaq) and the battle against Nature, he will London much, but the Serpentine stupidity.frailty and self- illustrations superb. have lost. We'll be on the losing where 1 work in London. There's destructive nature. in Hyde Park with people doing a whole chimp room with side. I really think that's true. But in-line skating and rowing, that's ha\ ing said that. I really love fast pictures of chimpan/ees. Linden Thornton something I conceived of very research, the whole fucking bit." cars. 1 drive a huge three litre early on as Chimpworld. I never turbo car, a Volvo seven series Self suddenly seems very actually put it in the book but it professional and it becomes cleai turbo. I love going 1(X) miles an really seemed sensational. I hour". that when you pull aside the concci\c of a book as leading up drink and drugs that from the I ask him whether in his to a set piece like that". books he ever worries about public image that he hates so I'm devastated that writing much. Will Sell is actually a being too shocking: "No, I'm not funny hooks isn't one big bundle really bothered about being really decent, and extremely of mirth so Self tries to humour intelligent, common or garden outrageous. The thing I do bother me, giving up quickly: "Some of bloke. about is being PC. I mean, I was the gags, like Anton Mosichimp giving readings of My Idea of and Lloyd Groschimp, yes you Fun and was being introduced at do have a little chuckle when you but it took a real effort of will to vote for Blair7 Graduation icket There are still some tickets left for the 1997 Graduation Ball, available from LUU CATS, LUU Ents Office, LUU Rag Office and LMUSU. £39.60 cash & cheque, credit card sales subject to fee). Tickets sold at LMUSU are subject to booking fee. Price Includes all entertainment, transport and food Tickets are new available te all students Upto Interested in page layout? on production N.U.S. Card No experience necessary (cannot hp ysp HOW PROUST CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE ALAIN DE BUTTON PICADOR, C12.99 DONNA'S ITALIAN JOB rc you endlessly fascinated by the life and limes of Marcel Proust'.' Ho you e\en know who he is?'.' Do hen Commissario Guido • nave to admit that I was you. more to the point. actually care'.''.''.' If the A Brunetti is called in to I rather reluctant to start answer to any ot the aho\e questions is an enthusiastie negative. \ou might wisely steer elear of this hi/arre. Winvestigate the savage ~M-iradin<> this novel. 'Nun informally biographical offering from Alain de Botton. beating of Brett Lynch, an old ACQUAALTA THE DEATH OF FAITH leaves old peoples home after For those of you who answered yes to the above friend, at the home of a famous five elderly people die' hardly questions and are then still reading this. Proust is an early operatic diva, he is understandably DONNA LEON DONNA LEON promises to be a gripping twentieth-centUT) modernist (which main see as equating shocked. The incident is made all the PAN, £5.99 MACMILLAN, £16.99 storyline. Instead the plot slowly to being highly pretentious and entirely incomprehensible) more perplexing by its motive, meandered around a rather writer, best known for an enormous great tome called In which is to prevent Lynch's meeting with a Dottor Semen/ato thin assumption that the old people were being killed for Si'nn li i>l I JIM Tune. It's about a thousand pages long so I who is later found bludgeoned to death. their money, even though one of them had a history of heart couldn't possibly try and summarise it but apparently In this, the fifth novel in her Venetian crime series. Leon plunges the neither could anyone else because there's a Monty Python disease and no money strayed from the rightful heirs. reader into a complex tale of high class fraud and fakery set against the Perhaps I'm wrong, but aren't crime novels supposed to be sketch called the "AII-F.ngland Summarise Proust backdrop of the violent, seasonal storms, the "acqua alta" which holds all Competition", which gives its contestants fifteen seconds filled with suspense and intrigue? The reader is kept Venice in its eerie v ice like grip. wondering when any exciting Mafia action was going to take to recount the events ot the entire bixik, first wearing a The novel contains all the ingredients of a good thriller, with beautiful sw imsuit and then evening dress. No-one won. heroines, and a suitably heroic Commissario, willing to bend all of the place as it has done in Leon's previous novels, but all to no Anyway, it seems that the point is Proust's concern rules in order to get his result. These are set against enigmatic Mafia avail. with the amount of time we waste during our lives (rather villains with their gorilla like henchmen. However, far from being at all The story basically follows the life ot Conimisario Guido Brunetti. a topical in view of the things I've been doing to avoid cliched. Acquit A/tn is surprisingly different. It presents us with a policeman who works in Venice and who starts to investigate what lies rev ision). and How I'nuixt Ctin Cluin^c Your Life picks up sharply perceptive, sinister look at the behind the unexpected deaths at the on this idea with a claim to enlisting all the ways in which hidden corruption in the nursing home, which is we plebs can improve our mundane existences according lives of the rich and famous staffed by members of the his eccentric ideas. But really it's much more interested in in a city, famed for its Order of the Sacred documenting his lifetime thoughts and beliefs- the tact beauty and relative Cross. Much of the action, that it's divided into a series of self-help chapters ('How tranquillity. The central however, centres around To Be Happy In Love'; 'How To Love Life Today') is characters are likable and Brunetti trudging to and completely misleading and you're ultimately treated to an easy to relate to, this may be from his office, grumbling endless series ol anecdotes about Proust's life and times. because Leon chooses to about his paunch, and his The end of the book completely undermines itself by focus not only on Brunetti as family life, which announcing that we're not a Commissario. but also as a imaginatively consists of supposed to take bwks anil two children and a wife. •\ I M N family man. Thus scenes of Paola. who is either making w riters text seriously but high drama and tension are simply use them as a D I B O T1 pasta or listening to opera. skillfully intermixed with Just to accentuate the aura of springboard for improv ing domestic scenes and the tears our own quality of life. Italy. Leon slips in lots of that lie holds for his own Italian tor emphasis "Buon Now. admittedly Proust has family as the novel races some profound and giorno" "('iao Papa" which towards its explosive is irritating to say the least insightful ideas about life, conclusion staged in an opulent [he universe and 1 )onna I ,eon has vv ritlen five Venetian pala/./o. other hooks in the Brunetti everything, but if you're .\( t/iiti Mtii is a stylishly not interested in the man series, but I found her latest v iv id novel on the murky addition quite an anti-climax. himself, you'll find little to elements within a beautiful city hold your attention in what N V, It never really got off the that is a compulsive read Ironi ground, lake /;;.v/«'< 'lor .1/crw is a pleasant yet vaguely beginning to end. any d.iv ' pointless b(H)k. Lucy Rutherford Helen Morrissey Charlotte Heathcote lograpny RICHARD FEYNMAN: A Uff IN SCIENCE AIRTIGHT H'llll! AND Ml CONTAGION Hi UNQUIET MIND I MEMOIR 0! MOODS UNO MM mimmm ROBIN COOK ICEBERG SLIM VIKING. EI8.99 KAY REDFED JAMISON mmt PRESS, ts 99 PAIU5.99 PICADOR -nius doesn't come easy, yet Fcynman bore it ix short stories, one pimp author, no efore you read Contagion you his is the autobiography of a woman who has might" find it useful to either be a he lightest: he is the most human among the suffered from manic-depressive illness and coincidence: this btxik is so gritty it gra/es .•ollected brains and stunted personalities your eyes to read it. Iceberg Slim, pimp medical student or have access to G yet is also a professor of psychiatry. The B surrounding him. This man did phy sics lor fun and S one. Although these aren't essential, T extraordinaire, came out from his third prison author has risked much criticism to make manic- advanced the cause ol quantum physics through that sentence and decided that the life of crime was no you might find it a help if you really depression more widely understood, and this work want to fully understand everything in mixture of intelligence and inspiration that marks out is exceptionally brave and very honest longer for him. Instead of his usual street activities the sireatesl physicist since Linstem. he chose to write various bixiks and stories, a this excellent hook. The less well known side of Jamison's illness, the Set in the Medical Examiner's office This boiiiio-dmmming painting safe-cracker mania, is the most dangerous. In a state of mania, decision which left a dent in the side of literature achieved fame on the lelev ision as the man who solved so hie that writing has never been the same since. of New York, Contagion is a must for Jamison describes having supreme confidence, any fans of the old Quincy series. It the problem behind the Challenger space rocket boundless energy, and feelings of wonderful Slim makes any other writing look naive. explosion in IWfi at the end of his career; he also There is a pumping rhythm to his work which follows recently employed Jack creativity and ability. She describes hallucinating Stapleton around the Manhattan vv ilncssed the creation and detonation of the first about flying through beautiful planets in space. As leaves one breathless. It is in (now antiquated: nuclear bomb and contributed the Quantum Lie street lingo, reminiscent to a modern reader of. \ (;eneral Hospital and the New York a result of the ama/ing. drug-like manias, many Examiner's offices as he tries to track Dynamic Theory to the galaxy. Of course, thousands patients refuse medication, and risk suicide in the Clockwork Orange. And that just about sets (In- of text books anil scientific biographies have already tone. The stories start will) Airtight Willie himself, down the source of a plague outbreak increasingly seven.' depressions. and a few other deadly viruses that dealt with the physics side, and better This most recent a con man. anil his adventures. A tame tale, version attempts to combine both I/2 spin electrons Jamison combines scientific knowledge witn haven't been seen for years. poetic expression, as she expresses the elation, tear from then on it gets bkxxlier. sicker anil and Ivynman's life outside wave-particle duality. bleaker with tales of retribution and corruption, With a grudge against Americare. and turmoil of losing control of her mind. At times the hospital's owners. Jack seems It is a good introduction, but Ins life More the her intimacy is embarrassing, as though writing druys and death, sex and psychos (which is almost career is lightweight, which is strange considering the alliterative). determined to try and prove a link this book has been a therapy for her by allowing between the sudden outbreaks and the impact childhood has on a personality, though this is a her to describe her experiences. However, her His characters, who have some of the worst failure in most biographies. The style often annoys, luck (and sense of morality) I've ever seen, are hospital management. viewpoint of mental illness from the patient s eyes In his attempts to prove a link he and Mich lines as -her son drove off with a bunch of is illuminating, if rather long-winded. beautilully portrayed, each one given a true breath strangers on the journey to of life by the great man. gets beaten up, Although now happy to and then has Boston, on what became a Each story draws you snowy day with tricky driving be stable, amazingly in. drags you along, and several attempts Jamison doesn't regret her made on his life conditions" flop on the page- life of mental illness: leaves you glad, yet like wet fish. winded, at the end. by a New York through it she has had the street gang, all of It reaches its peak, Glad, because you can't perversely, when Feynman wildest extremes of help appreciating that which add to the experience. Her book is a intrigue of a very finally succumbs to cancer you're not a Chicago alter 10 years.Nothing more poignant reminder that the pimp. readable and good things in life rarely enjoyable book than his last words demonstrate his loveol lite. come free, and is an insight William Paton (even for a non- into the lives ot sufferers of Med student). ••'Ihis dying is boring". a terrifying!) unstable Ham Moses mental illness. Richard Groves Clare Siddall O Julici e Friday May 16 1997 Single of the Week SUPER FURRY ANIMALS Hermann Loves Pauline (Creation) Based on Albert Einstein's parents, this is a crude departure from the immediate melodies and scalding wit of the LP, but it is nevertheless still a mashed work of Beach Boys harmonies, stompalong pomp and analogue trickery. It's ace. basically, much like the other two tunes which plump for the far noisier, abrasive option. BELLE AND SEBASTIAN Dog On Wheels (Jeepster) More evidence that Nick Drake is alive and riding buses in Glasgow, if ever it were needed. These lour songs by everyone's favourite reclusive bookish seven piece are. as expected, near works of genius, wil and elegance. Can Ihey do no wrong? II tunes like "The State I Am In". "Sting Bean Jean" and "Belle And Sebastian" have anything to do with it then the answer is an emphatic no. Modern musical poetry for those that persevere. TINDERSTICKS Bathtime (This Way Up) Murky business as usual for the besuited miserabilisls who still do this organic urban blues thing a million times better than any of their imitators. "Bathtime" is a newly discovered concept down at 'Sticks HQ, so they wrote a jaunty, almost easy, ode to the Big coats, bad hair, fantastic songs?Thai's right. Eighties doom joys of soap on a rope. Or something. R. Dean Taylor's classic 'Shadow' is merchants Echo and the Bunnymen are back. And they've got given a rather wonderful interpretation. too. Liam Gallagher on backing vocals. ROBBIE ELSON reports MONKEY MAFIA 15 Steps (Heavenly) aybe I was a bit he claims. Sergeant on guitar and Les band have been what you'd call Man of many moments Jon Carter quits And now they want to be the Pattinson on bass), the place of Pete successful over the last decade or too young, or a de IVeitas who died in 1989 being so. DJing and dons his notorious alter ego's bit too 'green', host group of the late '90s hat. This, obviously, is a drum crazy, M having announced their taken b\ Michael Lee (former!) of lolloping bass bonan/a that glasses you but when I cast my mind those erhaps the closest they came comeback ^ persistently was Mac and Will's project, in the lace and then mops up the blood. back to the grim musical with a gig at It's a stomping, big beat affair with boring PElectrafixion. No you landscape that coloured Liverpool's 'We were the OAPs, Page probably haven't heard of them, bugger all subtlety and way outstrips Cream on his previous efforts. The man is a loon, my childhood in the and Plant). because they weren't that good. but a very talented loon. May 14. So why the According to Mac, "Electrafixion is 1980s, I tend to think of The band best group of comeback possibly the worst name for a band MOGWAI The Cure, U2, The Jesus are currently alter ten long ever! Anyway, the Bunnymen 4 Satin and Mary Chain and The touring years? "I getting back together has been on (Chemikal Underground) America and the Eighties' think \\e flie cards for a while now. Basically. Smiths as the vanguard will be Electral'ixion was an experiment to More sublime sounds from the band > always that just aren't afraid to wear cardigans. of British guitar music. returning for a ' thought that see if me and Will could sit on a Like Spiritualized with a short attention Ian 'Mac' McCulloch is string of festivals oxer the summer, our fifth album was below par and tour bus for four weeks without span, Mogwai's unparalleled blend of not best pleased. "We were and a full UK tour in October. that this record is an attempt to wipe killing each other.". white noise and delicate melody the best group of the The line up consists of only the slate clean," says Mac. And a So do they regret ever splitting probably won't endear them to the Eighties, no doubt about it," three of the four original members. chance to make a hit more money up? "No. splitting up was necessary average Reef fan. but that in itself is a (Mac on miitar and \ocals.Will perhaps'.' Let's lace it. none of the to make another good album." very good thing. Seek and enjoy. Piers Martin 'We're going to be the first band to 20 music 13 • ~T ~T That about the new album? Is band that's cn-dil'lr'! "We will be the local support was impressive. (alright, it is quite funny, but we were \/Y/ it a continuation of first band to reform and be better than Apparently, the gig was attended laughing 'at', not 'with'). T V KlectrafixioiV'Or is it a before" claims McCulloch. by the likes of John Barnes (from To be honest, the gig wasn't bad continuation of the long raincoats, Maybe, but there is a definite another Liverpudlian group of men and the band can still write a uood large hair and misery that was Echo feeling that many people, particularly who never quite reach their full tune. They will also, no doubt, make Echoes from and the Bunnymen (and indeed all the music press, will be waiting for potential) and Jamie from Space. lots of money and be very big. Again. •80s bands)? them to fall flatly and spectacularly on Prestige indeed. I didn't actually see Until, I suspect. Mac's ego pisses off Well, the latter. Sort of. Mac is still their faces. This situation will not be them, although I couldn't see to the the rest of the band by growing to the the 1980s... wearing the long trench-coat, the dark helped by the band's obvious distrust bottom of my pint by this point, but si/e of Madagascar. Again. glasses (indoors, like a real star), the and distaste for the music press. they were reliable rumours. One last question for the hoys who We've revisited the Sixties with Oasis hair is still black, but not so big. and "Most journalists were the sad like black Why Cream? Any chance and chums, relived the Seventies his \oice is still depressing: though bastards at school who were good at !fter a few medicinal cokes, the Bunnymen will he going down the this may be due to a certain lack of chemistry anil had absolutely no (that's the drink, smart-arse) I dance trail behind those other '80s down at Love Train, now it seems the talent in the vocal department. But taste... complete no marks." Cheers. A/ \.\Lmanaged to focus more clearly stalwarts. \J2'! "There's nothing 1980s are coming back to haunt us. don't let this put you off, it's not all Actually 1 didn't even take Chemistry on the stage, only to find out that it funnier than watching Bono trying to JOE CAIRNS cracks open the doom and gloom. Well, er, not in that at school. Honest. wasn't really worth it. Ian shake his thang." Fair point. We'll take sense... Later, Will Sergeant shares the McCulloch's voice does not carry well that as a 'no' ihcn. shall we? hairspray and weeps. You may well have already heard suspicion that I will be nice to him live and he lacks any real stage the neu single "Nothing Lasts now and slag him off later like "all the presence to make up for it. Forever" on the radio: an up-tempo other cunts" in the music press. Of Earlier he had said: "We're better ballad with siring, horn and melody course I wouldn't do that, you on stage now than we've ever arrangements a certain Mr. Bacharach paranoid old fart. been...it's not like the Eighties where might be jealous of. That evening the excitement was everything was geared around making If you listen carefully you might intoxicating. Either that or an entire a statement, these days you just have e\en hear Liam Gallagher singing the day's drinking was getting to me. most sensible tiling to ever pass his lips as he croons "yeah yeah yeah" in the background. "He plays tambourine looking miserable in a long grey Hundreds of thousands around the world are as well!" says Mac. Hocking to see the archetypal Eighties hangovers Really'.' Is there no end to on their Popmart tour. No longer are they Ins talents? "Well, they're army surplus trenchcoat may seem cowboy-booted Christian big-hair merchants. lucking gcxid 'yeah yeah Bono and the boys '97 are post-modern, ironic y calls' though, aren't stadium rock. And, of course, they've always had they'.'" Of course. No one cool to some, but it's funny to no one' a dance element to their music. could have done them v» better, could they Flight Lieutenant Porky? The greatest band of the 1980s (so stage and he cool and tunny." said the press release) were to play 1 would suggest, though, thai doing Last seen "Walking on Sunshine", (his lot were A quick listen to the rest of the written off as one-hit wonders before being album, due out in July, suggests they then first UK gig in ten years. I was to sod-all is neither cool or funny. Looking miserable in a long. grey. touched by the magical hand of Eurovision. will have enough good songs to make be there! 1 was to get a major scoop Having vanquished Ireland and Norway in the a credible and no doubt profitable before the national music press' 1 w as army surplus trench-coal may seem cool to some, but it's funny to no one ultimate Battle of the Bands, they're now comeback. A comeback of an '80s blind drunk. Still, the intensity of the storming back up the charts, letting their love shine its light all over the place. The Mumrock revolution starts here. Bouncing Bunnies: l-r, Will Sergeant, Ian 'Mac' McCulloch, Les Pattinson I'hcy may be back from the brink ot overdose hell! but Depeche Mode still ha\e Bad Han with their morose sy nth-rock, anil now sport leather keks and 'androgynous' make-up. Not at all like (!irl\ Brian out of Placebo. Oh no. Hooky out of New Order, forever to be known as Mr Mcnon. made a fantastic return to the charts i with "What Do You Want From Me?" rtunately, Monaco's new single sounds like -wail for it- Right Said l:red Meanwhile Bernard out of New Order continues to record with is guitar god Johnny Marr. appearing on II I I riday c\cry other week with (heir latest three minutes of thirty-something dull-pop. reform and be better than before' - Ian McCulloch 21 music 10 Me", "Ladies and Gentlemen...", the beautiful "Broken Heart"), culminating in the final sixteen minute epic. "Cop Shoot Cop", a smack-fuelled, sci-fi blues Ladies and Gentlemen, We are excursion into just about anything and everything. Verily, Floating in Space (Dedicated) this Spaceman has been taking the right drugs. his is all about Lyrically, too. themes of sound. This is all religion, addiction, line and Tabout channelling devotion, in Pierce's delicious!) a million and one addled mind, amount to one and the same thing; they're utterly influences into seventy hopeless and yet deperately awe-inspiring minutes of necessary. damn near sonic And it's this self-destructive yearning for the unattainable that perfection. has always been their big This is, of course, the new pervades every aspect of this intoxicating work. Alburn problem. Work, Lovelife, Spiritualized album and, Miscellaneous does nothing following the indulgence of Indeed, by honing their obsessive tendencies, David Devantft his Spirit Wife but confirm the suspicion that 1995's Pure Phase Spiritualized have managed to Miscellaneous this is a problem they cannot masterpiece, it is quite structure what in less capable overcome. probably the finest, most hands would be a chaotic mess of (Rhythm King) And so the opening thrilling record you could noise. "Ginger" is just a dead joke possibly dream of hearing. As such, they are peerless: without the Cocky Young 'Un And so Jason Pierce and his fucked-up ambassadors of a n undisputed grating carrots over Iceman's head; all their idiosyncracies none-les.s-merry hand's quest for gloriously fucked-up music; so fact within far gone and out that they've left are in the performance, and on the perfect noise continues, and elegant circles: record they are lost. they'd get there if it weren't for their contemporaries playing a very nick) game of catch-up. David Devant And His But there are pearls (hose pesky songs. On this evidence they're the amongst this mostly hollow And what songs. For ev cry Spirit Wife are THE best band on the planet, but on ' best live band in the Bowie/Roxy swagger. "The aggressive, linear, stereo-quaking \\ Inch plane! is anybody's guess. Last Ever Love Song" is a rumble ("Electricity". "Come country. gorgeously subdued ballad, And I'm not arguing, Together"), there's a haunting, Piers Martin and the delicate melancholy of elegaic opposite ("Stay With but here's another fact for "Light On The Surface" is ya': listening to Work, haunted by the spectre of the Lovelife, Miscellaneous is Spirit Wife. many of the beats, rhythms and sounds of other a pointless, empty Alburn styles. "I Think About You" is an experience, like smoking absolutely brilliant, mental Rolling breakbeats cut with four-to-the-floor Silk Cut Ultras, or using house beats, industrial pipe hangings and swirl of fairground-frenzied Darren Price chopsticks to eat soup. Roxy synths and strutting ethereal wailings. They all contribute to a See. the thing is Under the Flight Path multi-layered and at times intelligently guitars, and "Ballroom" DD&HSW live is excells in its stuttering, produced album, that for the most pan resists exhilarating: Peacock-pretty (fllovaMute) becoming colourless and tiresome. comedy-suspence/murder- Though "Lose No Time" is paradigmatic and cocktail-quaint, weekend cool. (ranee (unchangeable throughout) u would be ostentatious, outrageous and But all these songs are aving remixed and then confusing as a Rubies cube. supported Underworld on equally listenable at home as it would a club. functional, a reason for being Whilst no one track leaps out as a The Vessel is a Pop Star onstage. Go and see 'em at the Htheir last tour, Darren Price classic,"Counterpoint" and "Long Haul 747" waiting to implode, Lord of Cockpit tonight and be has released his first album. get close with a harder techno edge that leans his own galaxy, the still-proud astounded. Avoid Work, By its very nature, trance music is a toward the dark side, whilst "Over and Out" Camden coxcomb. Lovelife, Miscellaneous: as an bastard to review. Just what can you say closes the album with delicious ambience. How to make their records, autonomous entity this is about it'.' "Oh it's got a nice build up, and For a debut, this is both imaginative and or even their songs, relevant worthless. and necessary in the face of then it goes sort or trancey..." well produced, made up of a diverse collection Well, yes, the tracks on this album do have of tracks underpinned with some line rhythms, such chaotic, exotic cabaret Oliver Craner nice build ups and they are indeed very trancey, and though unlikely to steal any of but at the same time Darren Price manages to Underworld's thunder, is a great way to trance breakbeat tunes I've ever resist the conventional format of monotonous the summer away. .ive heard. trance by flirting with, and then abducting. Nick Flavell Rather than fitting some cliched ja/./ sample to an Squarepusher endless loop of breakbeats like but there are so many bands u riling such so much drum 'n' bass, these Alburn nicilidcrc songs at the moment, and Olive. The Dueless 14/5/97 tunes are primarily ja// with I fear, wish to join the ranks. The album is the heals padded out. Olive l>lc Watch out for the taking lib'erties gefi and UpYerRonson Summer Ball Since tak'ing lib'erties inception a year ago. it has gone from strength to strength. Now there's a collaboration with Ronsons with the-Summer Ball on the 5th of June. Tak'ing lib'erties promoter Jim promises that the night will be "the biggest line ah Shaka is an artist synonymous with Dub / Reggae production and up of DJs and PAs ever held at the City Carhpus",and performance, running the most influential and inspirational sound is "a chance to bring in other DJs who are'nt just system in the country. He has been widely acknowledged as the run-of the-mill". For just over a tenner, it'll definitely musical and spiritual Godfather of the UK roots movement, with a be the cheapest ball you'll go to this Summer. history of working with artists such as Lee Scratch Perry, Augustus Pablo, and Lucky Doobie. Named after Shaka Zulu, a fearsome African warrior King, his efforts in musical circles .teve been predominantly focussed on the connections between the UK Ghana West Indies, sharing sentiment with the Afro-centric views of Marcus Garvey. The dub roots movement began with the onset of migration into the UK with independent sound systems forming to produce West Indian Dub, a deccmstruetion 61 Reggae using sound ef (texts, such as echo, distortion and various synthesislng tricks. Playing on a Single turntable at the comer of the dance flsor. with pauses between each track for _. . . I .I Rastafarian Playing on a single turntable praises to the / & r l I n pictures ot at the corner of the dance floor, Wlt»ni pauses ibetwee n each1 trac1k stuck to the wall above him. Shaka entertained an intimate but extremely enthusiastic aowd, complimented by a reasonable student turnout, in preparation for the guests, an eight piece Ghanain reggae band— Kente. The band played an astonishing one and a half hour set consisting of .Ghanain The last clubs issue this year is going to be a retrospective of the and Ijinauaii reggae, with a final song tribute to Bob Martey. Despite the superb combination of roots year. Have you got a tale worth telling?. We want to hear about the music the dominant factor was the promotion of Ghana's ^othe anniversary as an independent country, best/worst/most memorable nights that you've had in the past year with 3 photo exhibition promoting culture, spirituality, and lifestyle of Ghana and the West Indfes. (96/7) and we'll give the best tale a fitting prize. Clubs, Leeds Student Newspaper, PO Box 157, *&. '**••#' Leeds, ,-r-' LS1 1UH. leedsu n ivers ityunion GREAT FARES FOR EUROPE AMSTERDAM £68 FROM GATWICK BRUSSELS £73 FROM HEATHROW DUBLIN FROM MANCHESTER PARIS £69 FROM HEATHROW / GATWICK FRANKFURT £97 FROM HEATHROW/ GATWICK FOR INFORMATION ON THESE AND OTHER GREAT FARES CALL IN AT ULTRA 23 Friday May 23 1997 \Yh;it's <|»iiM| ii|» and flown in the juice hot GLUT films hit parade? ABSOLUTE POWER . Cat and mouse Clint Eastwood returns into his Director's role, in this new action i conspiracy. I Clint Eastwood teams packed, cat and mouse conspiracy thriller. LAUREN PUSHKIN * up with Ed Harris and r < icnc Hackmun in this DIRIEE DAVID ZLOTDFF me ma STARS:ELLEI\I BURSTYN ercy is a young ABSOLUTE POWER woman with a DIR: CLINT EASTWOOD Ppainful past. She moves to a small STARS: ED HARRIS town she heard about whilst in prison, in The oilier relationship, order to try and start which is not really brought a new life. Bringing to the fore, but adds some with her hope that is light humour, ami resets the pace of the film, is much needed in the that between Kate depressed community Whitney, (the daughter), she arrives in the and (he detective Seth darkness of winter. Frank (Ed Harris). Harris Hannah, the owner of constant!}, brings irony the eponymous cafe and humour onto the takes Percy in and screen. A play on his beginning work as a previous role in The waitress she soon them distrustful of Percy and performances from Alison Elliot Rock, as a war veteran lakes on lots of turned criminal, is they suspect her of crimes. and Ellen Burstyn it's not responsibilities. Her These prejudices ultimately lead surprising that it has already brought about by his friendship with a local line, "I don't do war to a disaster. won awards. woman called Shelby /.lotoff has produced a film From the title alone The veterans", when he is grows during this searching for the stattis which shows the wide beauty of Spitfire (iiill does not sound period and Percy's the Maine countryside and exactly illuminating or even of the master thief. hope begins to draws you into the close bonds interesting, but if you liked film; The scene between spread. between the three women. It is a such as The Man Without a him, the chaser, and The story story of hope, friendship and l-ace. Nell and Fried (lreen Eastwood, the chased, is develops as the destiny and the idea that all yon Tuniaioes then this is definitely also very entertaining. people ol CM leads need is a chance. worth seeing The two 'do' lunch, and small town The film has a strong sense Joerg Harder and Pete In polhelically com erse mentality makes of purpose and with weighty Wood about how a thief might break into a house. \Ve know that Frank knows "No more important novel than that Whitney did it. and Things Fall Apart has been published we know that Whitney this century" THE SCOTSMAN knows he knows, but they continue to humour each other, and in turn the audience. All in all this film max resemble the much acclaimed 23 May - 7 June / 'iili'r^n'i'ii. but it is successful in its ow n right. [Eastwood uses Ins skill as a director and actor to broaden and emphasise the themes he introduced in Adapted by Biyi Bandele from rn 1 -> *» A i -»iii tne novel by internationally FRIENDS T,CKET HCKUW. 0113 244 2111 acclaimed Chinua Achebe with the lesbian ex-wife: inally the series those who haven't, where have SEVEN NEW PLAYS BY SEVEN NEW you been " Here is a quick Monica, his sister, the sensible Friends is coming AT THE WEST YORKSHIRE PLAYHOUSE WRITERS summary so you don't feel left one: ("handler, the quick, jokey out on video, with the one: Rachel, who starts off as a new generation of writing - F out when those around you a fusion of performance styles first 12 episodes out now start ha\ing the inevitable "who the clueless rich one; Joey, the Call NOW for a brochure and the rest available over womanising one: and Phoebe the summer. the decidedly dippy one. No this It. like me. you are one of is not the Seven Dwarfs the main who stayed in revisited hut a study of the piously on Friday evenings generation \ (was there ever a generations A. H orC?), which (now moved to Wednesday). to you and me means people in took the phone off the hook their '20s stuck in the 'l)0s. and refused to he disturbed Whether the series will still for the crucial half hour of be relevant in ten years and comedy, then there is no become a sitcom classic like Cheers, remains to he seen, hut point in me explaining the 1 joy of l-'rii'iu/s: I am .it the end of the day. who cares ' preaching to the convened. The fact is. it's quick, it's funny The only added bonus of this would you rather have out of and at times even touching. lelease is that not only can you Ross. C'handler or .loey (or You'll laugh and laugh again, i rat ion re-watch all those early episodes Phoebe. Rachel and Monica, whether this he the first, third or and analyse the development of depending on your tenth tune you've seen it. Rachel's hairsty le, but you preferences)" conversations. WEST-YORKSHIRE Quarry won't have to rush home helorc Incase the title didn't give it Eleanor Mawrey away, ihe series follows si\ last orders to catch the I I FIJL T!_ . JPAYHOIT^V JL JL JL ^/ iv' ife? FIL.J o'clock slot on Channel 4. To friends: Ross, the sensitive one 25 int< Friday May 23 1097 The hard man, the hit man, the \ man. He might have plunge ground floor in Tarantino's bel Four Rooms, but resurrectioi with two new films, No Way I Gridlock'd. FAISAL QURESHI the from Tim Roth 26 X. pue qiauioo i do|| doi| 3M1 01 p POOMA||O(. 16 Friday May 23 1997 hink America. Think John Steinbeck, think Tarantino, think Vondie Curtis Hall, but think Tim Roth? Once a quintissentially British actor, raised in Dulwich by his journalist dad, and teacher mum, and making his debut in Alan Clarke's take on British yob culture, Roth has now been sold to America. Originally red, white and blue, now Mr Orange seems dedicated to his stars and stripes - no matter how dangerous LA may be. Tim Roth returns from a relapse after the success of the Tarantino twosome. Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction to star in another two films, No Way Home and Gridlock'd, this time directed by two totally different people who are relatively unknown in their roles as directors, Buddy Giovanazzo and Vondie Curtis Hall respectively. In a similar dimension to his previous successes though, both films are pretty seedy, involving drugs, and criminality, but only the latter film turned the horror from fiction to fact. One of the other stars of Gm/lnck 'd. was the musician Tupac Shakur. Already a well respected rap artist and actor (he had got critical acclaim for his debut in the rarely seen Juice) Gridlock 'd would prove to be his penultimate film; he was shot to death in Las Vegas after leaving a Mike Tyson fight. In the film he played Spoon, Stretch's (Tim RoTh's) partner, the one who talks him into checking into a rehab clinic with him. "He was smart, funny, quick, lazy sometimes," remembered Roth, "The chemistry, well what you see on screen is what we were on set. We never socialised, when we finished, he'd go straight to the studio, recording, directing videos. His days were 20 hour days. I enjoyed working with him. He was a good actor. There were funny moments on set. One of the characters that he played was the self righteous black man. You could name anything and he'd find racism in it. Great character, and he would play it when TV Crews were around, we Clockwise from top left: Rob Roy, Reservoir Dogs, Vincent would do it across rooms, and it was very funny." and Theo, Pulp Fiction. So what was his reaction when he heard of the murder. "Numb," replies Roth. Vondie was completely shattered by it. "I'd be looking at him while cutting the movie everyday and so when I heard he had died, I was just distraught. Because we had worked together for you. See what these people are? Keep your kids saying. That was the greatest scene you've done,' you on every level. Somebody's going to run eight weeks and rehearsals for six weeks, and he away from these people.' which I think is dumb." he just looks at his watch and goes 'The Knicks are across it, and that was the key issue and it's funny. had become family." Although the off set death was hard to deal playing at Five. We'll shoot this tomorrow.'" I really liked the character. I liked the relationship Because of the unexpected departure of Tupac, with, the on set fiction was very familiar to Roth. So even though he doesn't sing in the bath, and I thought it would make a great film." the film now has a dedication to him in the end He is cast over and over in the same all-American stating that he doesn't have a musical bone in his Indeed Roth seems to have a knack for picking credits. Did they feel his death overshadowed the role as criminal, junkie and all round seedy body, he did sing with his own voice in this film, great films, and great directors. Roth has been film itself? outsider. In Gridlock 'd there seems to be no without being dubbed. directed by some of the most respected film "It's something we have to deal with." change. How did he feel about cast in these parts? "Woody said 'It doesn't matter, do you want to makers in the industry. From Stephen Frears (The explained Roth, "A question that always arises. "Stretch isn't a criminal," he retorted. "I don't be dubbed?' It was a choice you could make, no Hit) to Peter Greenaway (The Cook, The Thief, the One of the actors got killed. If it was me, or if it one was required to be a singer, though if you Wife and her Lover), Robert Altman (Vincent & was Vondie, would it come up? It's the kind of life could carry a tune that would help. And some Theo) and later Tarantino and Reservoir l~)ot>s. that he lived. There's also been a very self satisfied people couldn't but they were brave enough to say Although like all good actors, between these, there white smugness about it though, 'See what I told nodubbinc." were some jobs that are best left unmentioned. the II III get •any scripts with a little letter en "Dffte [MimcO of a Reserv PBoDltom flbBagV and these go sira ynread think about it. For some reason I'll do it. You make o after this little singalong, how on earth did your choices, you can always say no. So if I'm Gridlock 'd arise? Vondie Curtis Hall, already Alcopops, the FA deduction of points and pigeonholed. I'm pigeonholed. I just found the Scredited actor, (Die Hard II. Kroken Arrow Tarantino have always been controversial. character interesting. I get so many scripts with a and the recent Romeo & Juliet), decided to write a Now Channel Four joins the club by little letter on the front saying 'Its kind of a script about two guys, one black, one white, who screening Reservoir Dot;* 'the uncut Reservoir Dogs/Pulp Fiction thing', and those go are trying to break the junk habit in downtown top of the list being a US TV Movie of Miss version' on Saturday 31st May. straight in the bin, unread. So that's one way of Detroit. The script was called Gridlock V. first Marple !v Murder in';/; Mirrors. The film will be shown alongside a avoiding that stuff." choice for the star was Roth. Nowadays he sticks well and truly to the /•'//HI Night Special on Tarantino as a He certainly avoided it by landing the role in Roth realised that it wasn't a bad script, but American authors. No more Agatha Christie for means to putting the film in context. Not the Woody Allen musical. Even-one Suva I Love needed convincing that Vondie could direct him to this Brit boy: that this fact will appease dear Mrs Yon. although he did play an ex-con, Charles be the "right kind of asshole." Although actually it "My intention when I went to America was to White-house, who is scared that the Skylar: was not the asshole perspective, or the drugs that play only American characters. I thought they'll fourteen out of twenty children who have "Woody would go 'say this line and it'll get you attracted Roth to the role: get o\ er the fact that I'm English and it won't be a television in their bedroom will all be a laugh, then work your way to this line, but "I liked the aspect of red tape. Unless you've an issue so I'll just be cast if people want me to be watchine the policeman's ear beine cut whatever you say sound good.' I liked him, he's been on heroin or have been an addict, your not in their film... when I was in America, there off. great at boosting your confidence. Instead of really going to identify with that, but red tape hits seemed to be more of a chance of me getting a job. Well, at least it's making the students happy. Now thev can watch the television rather than staring at the posters on their walls. 28 interview 7 urprise, surprise, No Way Home plays to all Roth expectations. He plays an ex- con who returns home to his deceased mother's house, only to find his brother (James Russo) and his wife (Deborah Kara linger) residing there. Animosity flares between the macho men. Roth finding sole sympathy from linger. There is a plethora ol drug dealing too. in ease sou missed it in (iridloi-k'tl. which happily leads lo an interesting ending, ralher than just causing rows between Russo anil Unger. The film is handled well by director. Buddy (iiosana//o. who manages a more realistic slant to the film than has transpired in another druggie films. The acting is superb, making the film an interesting drama, rather than a drears stereotypical American brass 1. Roth is excellent in this, maintaining a quiet, respectful role in comparison to Russo's blundering character, and leases one belies ing that with complete masters olThe Staten Island accent, he could have been a contender. I'lus is no AV.urm/r /) stayed lor six months, and the first thing 1 got ss as suggestions sshen we were working. He'd say ' li\ this' and try and figure out something." " construction, it is built on so mans improbable It is still Roth's best known part, as the cocks So after conquering the genre of down and tretch (Tim Roth), Spoon outs, it seems as if Roth is turning to kids. I )oes (Tupac Shakur) and Cookie coincidences that it will probably re-define but endearing Mr Orange. A undercover police- sv iichroniciiv. Whenever our heroes are in that mean that a new era ol Roth das* us in the (Thandie Newton) live together officer who has infiltrated the gang, try ing lo catch trouble, another Deux fix Machina moment world of children's films: a high ranking member of the underworld. in a rough section of inner city Detroit. manages to pull them out of the light spot. 'Acs. If I find the right script. I'se been offered Throughout the film, he slow Is bled to death in a In between performing at a nightclub, Whether it be cops, dealers or angry guide near empty warehouse while watching a psychotic a less. Disney types one. I'd like lo do one. but it's they feed their heroin habit. On New dogs, the hand of the filmmakers can he seen probably not the right kind of film lo act in. Mas be Mr Blonde cut a man's ear off. No doubt he won't Year's Day, Cookie overdoses and its as plainly as a boom mike. making one would be a lot more interesting." condemn Channel Lour's proposal to screen up to Stretch and Spoon to get her to The sub-plot of the dealer (played by Kcxcn-oir l)oi;\ on teles ision at the end of May: So you won't be seeing Roth in Mickey Mouse Hospital. The pair, realising that their w riler/direetor Vondie Curtis Hall) chasing our "My kid was on the set of AVwnvi/V /Vi;.s (he ears then, and you won't be seeing him in Britain. hero's is adds to the films failing. When our was eight then, he's twelse now i I le does the hut if you're into drugs, into films, or into him. life shouldn't have to be like heroes are dance, he knows take blood sshen he sees it. He's then the next two weeks will he a treat. And listen doing nothing, bored with me now out tor thai authentic American accent. this, decide to this seemingly Luckily for Roth, it seems as if Tarantino can't get go to a omnipotent enough. He did sunn Roth in his new film, the rehabilitation figure appears adaptation of the Llmore l.enord book Rum centre and try to start Punch, retilled Jackie Hnwu. but Roth explained and kick the breathing dow n whs he wouldn'l be the star: habit. Little do then neck It "I'm going to be filming when he's going to he they realise the reeks of doing his next film. 1 asked could he w rite me a amount of padding. telephone character." But the worse Roth ohv lousls likes doing things from afar. He bureaucracy is still to come. now hses in the I'SA. permanently, as he points that prevents If by chance the out. hut he does h.ise a little interest in his native them from audience has country. achieving that fallen asleep "I didn't register for a postal sole in time, but 1 goal. (or has suffered vvnuld hase voted Labour." Meanwhile, a temporary Ness Labour triumphs here, but will ness Roth vicious drug mental triumph there ' As Yondie betore him. Roth has dealer is incapacity ). the decided that the new Roth ssill be making his own chasing the pair film concludes directorial debut, adapting Alexander Stewarts for ripping him with the book. Tin- \\cii- y.i'iii'. a story looking at a incest heroine. relationship: off. Cookie, selling the message of this film. The The film tries to show the absurdity ol red "1 got sent it. and I read the book, and it blew nearest equivalent to this is Prince Adam of my mind. .And I'se got kids and it really struck. tape, but instead, what follows are a series of dull run-arounds around various social F.lernia telling the little kiddies outside I V and then I worked on the script with the writer" land the moral of this week's Ili'-Mnn episode. Vondie is lull ol enthusiasm for Roth's project sersices departments. This is supposed lo be Preachy, obvious and poorly contused. some modern Kafkaesque statement on the "Tim ssill be a great director, because he has a C.ndlock'd is being marketed as a absurd SITS good esc. He would make some good absurd nature of bureaucracy. 1 he tilm makers black comedy. This classification cannot hide got one thing wrong. Kafka actually made its mans tailings: the only truly absurd thing these absurdits interesting and darkly funnv 1 about it is that il got financed. 'IIn 7\rr/vr /«A^\ Of .\\tcri\ succeeded more in that department than Cridlock'il. tii'idlock 29 18Juice Friday May 23 1997 SEVEN NEW PLAYS BY SEVEN NEW AT THE WEST YORKSHIRE PLAYHOUSE WRITERS a new generation of writing - a fusion of performance styles Call NOW for a brochure i PLAYHOUSI Moss H R Air Tickets (7 exclusive / to students & U26's • The most flexible ticket you can buy - changeable, replaceable and economical! • Support while you travel from worldwide Connection Centres • Valid for up to a year S" -- ""~ isn> &C v^e • Using quality airlines For full details of the benefits of Skytrekker tickets, call in at your local student travel agent and pick up a leaflet Campus Travel, YHA Adventure Shop, 117-121 Vicar Lane, Leeds LS1 6PJ. 0113 246 1155 and Ultra Travel, University of Leeds, Union Building, PO Box 157, Leeds LS1 1UH 0113 231 4213 Saturday Thursday f 1 ^r YOUR ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO WHAT'S ON THE BOX AND IN LEEDS Up Pompeii DAN JOLIN 04, Monday, 10pm FILMS ON THE BOX Staggered Indecent Proposal BBC1, Monday, 10.20pm BBC1, Friday, 9.30pm, Enter the Dragon Carry on Camping BBC2, Saturday, lupin BBC1, Monday, 11.30pm Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story Confessions of a Pop Performer C5, Friday, 12.1 Bam f someone offered un/ipped its grubby trousers on a remote desert island uses his Kung lai powers to with an unsavoury leer, l-.aeh singing songs about lovely thwart Bail (iuy John Saxon's you a million dollars movie saw a spotty, lecherous hoises. drinking tea and opium smuggling operation. to sleep with your Robin Ask with in a different shouting 'feck'. In fact, the Bui forget about the ni' I cheek out the alms. This film is wife/ husband, what profession. Irving to find new nearest you're likely to get to would you do? This is and amusing ways to gel off the dodgy old stuff is probably truly '70s... Kitsch Fu in full the question raised by with women. I Icnce Staggered tHM 1. Monday effect. OMI/('.V.V/«;I.\ (I/a !'<>/> I0.2()pm). directed by and II you feel like finding out Indecent I'rn/xisdl Performer (Channel 5. Friday siairing Marlin Climes. more about Bruce 1 ee's unique (BBC1, Friday, 9.30pm), 12.15am). in which Askwith This mildly amusing lomp brand of kicking people in the which got everybody plays a window cleaner who limes playing a bloke lace, then Dragon: The Bruce joins a pop band and si who. alter a particularly bad /.<•(' Story (BBC'2. Sunday talking back in 1993. ugh! experience, finds 10.25pm) is being screened the l:\er\lioil\ talked, loads of groupies. But this Him series proved ton mei-iiil which is being has to he Enter I he (\irr\ On had shot it's load by repealed, lor some reason, just Dragon iBBC2. ihe mid seventies, the Ivlorc I /' /'<>/)//><•// No sex, no Saturday 10pm). in O>;;/r.sw'om Of... series grotty nudity, just three priests which Bruce Fee DICE HARD: Robert Redford become Lenny Lottery in order to roger Moore Flavour of the Dayrma •y• 23 David Devant @ Brighton Beach guide The story of David Devant and his Spirit in a seaside town a young aspiring Wife is indeed a curious one... As the 19th musician leafs through a copy of My Magic Century draws to a close, aspiring magician Life. David Devant's autobiography. A cinema David Wighton chooses his stage name week later D.D.A.H.S.W. fronted by The i Vessel play their first of a series of concerts Hyde Park Picture House (tel. 275 of the Jedi, Empire Strikes Back, -whilst standing in front of a painting 2045) When We Were Kings. English entitled "David Devant Goliath". In 1941 where their unique music and handcrafted Microcosmos: 7.00. 9.00 Patient. Space Jam sets conquer the hearts of the Nation. Rumble Fish; 11.15 in the Putney home of the incurables David ABC (tel. 245 2665) Devant passes away into obscurity. Over Intrigued? Then come down to the Cockpit Odeon ltd. 2430031) Bea\ is and Butthead Do America; David Di'vant and his hand of half a century later in a second book shop to find out more. iungle 2 Jungle, The Return of me 1.00. 3.15, 5.30, 8.1S ledi. Scream. Romeo and Juliet. Return of the Jedi: 2.40 both-less men Donnie Brasco, Space Jam. The Relic, Liar, Liar; 3.15,5.30. 8.00 Anna Karenina Space Truckers; 12.45. 3.fX), 5.40, 8.00 Showcase (tel. 01924 420 622) Cottage Road (tel. 275 1606) Jungle 2 Jungle, Beavis and Butthead, Romeo and Juliet BBC 2 ITV Channel 4 Anna Karenina. Space Truckers, The BBC Relic. High School High, Romeo and Lounge (tel. 275 1061) Juliet, Anaconda, Liar Liar, Donnie Jungle 2 Jungle Brasco, It Takes Two. Scream. Return The English Patient 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The Big 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Supermarket Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; 9.30 BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News; 7.30 Sweep; 9.55 Calendar News And Schools; 12.00 Garden Party; 12.30 Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Style Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles; Weather; 10.00 The Time... The Light Lunch; 1.30 Pat And Mat; 1.50 Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; 10.30 7.55 50/50; 8.20 Garden Fairies; Place; 10.30 This Morning; 12.20 FILM: Train Of Events (1949); 3.30 clubs Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 8.25 Tales Of The Tooth Fairies; Calendar News; 12.30 News: Moving People; 4.00 Fifteen To One; 4.30 Countdown; 5.00 Countdown: News: Regional News: Weather; 8.35 The Record; 9.00 The Weather; 12.55 Home And Club Mex from Alex Feldman and Mr Carlton on 11.05 The Great Escape; 11.35 The 2000th Edition; 5.30 Pet Rescue d.o.p.e., slamin' drum & bass with the didgeridoo. French Experience; 9.15 The Away; 1.25 Emmerdale; 2.25 6.00 TFI Friday special guests, plus residents Marcus. 9.30pm-3am. £4 eosmic girls, £5 space Real Rooms; 12.00 News; 12.05 French Collection; 9.45 Watch; High Road; 2.55 Shortland 7.00 News: Weather Ricky Bla/.e and MCs Ash and Verse. cowboys. Infoline is 0410 318909 Call My Bluff; 12.35 The Practice; plus Audio Traffic, Our Man Flint and 10.00 Teletubbies; 10.30 Watch Street; 3.20 ITN News 7.50 Soak It Up Rob Pursey in the funk department. Planet Earth 1.00 News: Weather; 1.30 8.00 Garden Party. Out; 10.45 Pathways Of Belief; Headlines; 3.25 Calendar News; 10pm-3am,£6/O !'{>/) does The Planet, two rooms of Regional News And Weather; 11.00 Look And Read Special; 8.30 Brookside. pop and dance. °pm-2am £2 with flyer 3.30 Rosie And Jim; 3.40 Slim 9.00 Cybill The Cockpit before 11.15pm. £.1.50 alter 1.40 The Weather Show; 1.45 11.20 Job Bank; 11.40 The Pig; 3.50 Disney Cartoon; 4.00 9.30 Spin City Brighton Beach, 60s Modernism meets Neighbours; 2.10 Quincy; 2.55 Geography Programme; 12.00 the best of the 90s with live band Dave Town and Country Club The Treacle People; 4.15 10.00 Frasier Devant and his Spirit Wife. Plus Ltive Train. Legendary 70s disco, with Through The Keyhole; 3.20 English File; 12.30 Working 10.30 Phil Kay Feels... Wet. Where's Wally?; 4.40 Crazy scratchy garage and sweet soul in the Brutus Gold. I0pm-2.30am. £7 Connisseurs' Collections; 3.30 Lunch; 1.00 Job Bank; 1.10 Job 11.05 Eurotrash. This week Antoine little room. Cottage; 5.10 Home And Away; ! I pm-4am, £5 The Underground Playdays; 3.50 Plasmo; 3.55 Bank; 1.20 Developing World; De Caunes reveals a French Bodger And Badger; 4.10 Ace 5.40 News: Weekend Weather; claymation version of the The Ciioker, Funkv beat/ & breaks 1.45 Words And Pictures; 2.00 The Hyde Park Club, Ash Grove. with the Dig! Family, plus a iniest spot Ventura: Pet Detective; 4.35 5.55 Calendar; 6.30 Tonight; Kama Sutra, and takes a look from king of the 45s, Steve Funky Adventures Of The Garden Where It's At. nice and cheap place to Clarissa Explains It All at the French version of Take go before you hit the town. Stuff. 10pm-2am, £5, tel. 2302113 for Fairies; 2.05 Tales Of The Tooth 7.00 Lucky Numbers That. 8 - 1 1pm. £1 membership more info. 5.00 Newsround 7.30 Coronation Street. Gary Fairies; 2.10 Golf And Tennis 11.35 TFI Friday 5.10 Blue Peter Le Phonographique The Fruit Cupboard 6.45 The Simpsons. Mr Burns and Judy receive a sinister 12.35 Robin The Beautiful Ones, indie night. Frisco Disco, funky disco and boogie 5.35 Neighbours threat. 12.40 FILM: Theatre Of Blood playing all you're favoured tunes. Free in a fun and safe atmosphere, £4 / £5, gets tired of running the (1973). Classic camp horror 6.00 News: Weather 8.00 The Bill. Shock waves bottle of Pils before 1 1 pm. 10.30pm-2.30am 6.30 Regional News nuclear power plant. movie starring Vincent Price. 10pm-2am. £3/£4 strike Sun Hill when Beech 2.40 FILM: The House In Uropa Magazines 7.10 Great Railway Journeys LMUSU Spice of Life, tonight with David 8.00 Visions Of Snowdonia. is found beaten Nightmare Park (1973). Stomp. Indie. & grunge-fesl. plus Dunned Jay Smith and Malcolm Dolly 7.00 Weekend Watchdog. 4.20 FILM: It's Never Too Late To The documentary series unconscious in an retro sounds in the room they call Cafe Dale. 10pm-4am, £3/£5 Consumer magazine Mend (1937). Pop. £3 / £3.50 alleyway. focusing on the leisure about life in Snowdonia Pleasure Rooms National Park focuses on 8.30 See You Friday. Lucy is LUU Harvey Milk Bar // !v Obvious, madness and mayehm industry, with Anne Spire, tequila night playinc with Bentley Rhythm Ace live. Robinson. RSPB officer lolo Williams. looking forward to mainstream motown. 70s disco plus From I Opm to 3am, £7. 8.30 Gardeners' World. Alan spending a whole Channel 5 the best of contemporary pop. 7.30 Top Of The Pops. This Free before 1 Ipm. £1 after. Warehouse week's bestselling singles, Titchmarsh plants out his weekend with Greg in UnYerRonsim, tonight in conjunction live performances and pre- summer bedding. Newcastle. 6.00 5 News Early; 7.30 Havakazoo; Nato with Kiss 105 present Labatt Ice Aid OM;m< , funk, hip-hop and house. With night, raising money for the Terrence chart exclusives, 9.00 The Fast Show. Fast- 9.00 The Grand. Period drama 8.00 Adventures Of The Bush Patrol; Ash playing northern soul and eclectic Higains Trust Buddy Scheme. With introduced by the Spice moving comedy sketch starring Mark McGann, 8.30 WideWorld; 9.00 Espresso; 10.00 funk. Plus the Disciples of Garage DJs Tom W'ainwright, Marshall, Neil Exclusive; 10.30 Nancy Lam; 11.00 (playine gangster garage) Sam Holt Met/ner and Bis Dave Urwin. Girls. show featuring Paul Rebecca Callard, Tim Leeza; 11.50 Double Espresso, 12.00 (Ministry of Sound). live bongo's I0pm-3am. £8 members/NUS, £10 8.00 X Cars. A documentary Whitehouse, Charlie Healy and Julia St John. The Bold And The Beautiful; 12.30 series following an elite Higson, Mark Williams and While wedding bells are Family Affairs; 1.00 5 News Update; undercover squad set up Arabella Wear. ringing in The Grand, 1.05 Sunset Beach; 2.00 5's ggs Company; 3.30 FILM: His Girl Friday by Manchester police to 9.30 Sunnyside Farm. Comedy storm clouds gather for confront thieves, joyriders (1940); 5.20 5's Company Late Extra The Cockpit Feast and Firkin series. Ray, Wendy and Monica. Will Marcus allow and organised gangs who 5.30 100% David Devant and his Spirit Wife. £5, Liquid Head Justin join forces to try to 6.00 Whittle. make life a misery for marriage to curtail his see today's Flm-oiu- of the l)u\. stop a smitten Ken's pursuit of Sarah? 6.30 Family Affairs. Chris is in a Pleasure Rooms thousands of ordinary marriage of convenience to mood about his injuries and Duchess Bentley Rhythm Ace 10.00 News At Ten: Weekend money troubles. Followed by 5 people. Conchita. Heroin + Scooby + Buzzgun 8.30 A Question Of Sport Weather News Update West Indian Centre, Woodhousc 10.00 Have I Got News For You. 9.00 Nine O'Clock News: 10.30 Calendar News And 7.00 Exclusive. Joseph's Well Smokescreen + Alien Fish + DJs. The award-winning 7.30 Wildlife SOS, followed by 5 Regional News: Weather Weather Dakota Suite 9pm-4am. £3.50, tel. 2445592 comedy quiz that takes a News Update 9.30 FILM: Indecent Proposal 10.40 FILM: High Desert Kill satirical swipe at the 8.00 Attractions (1993). Romantic drama (1990). Nightmarish 8.30 5 News including First On week's news, hosted by about a couple whose supernatural sci-fi tale. Five. National and theatre Angus Deayton. Followed international news, with Kirsty idyllic relationship is 12.25 Bonkers! Followed by by Tales From The Net Young or Rob Butler. West Yorkshire Playhouse Bradford Alhambra threatened. Stars Demi ITN News Headlines 10.30 Newsnight 9.00 FILM: Against Their Will As You Like It; penultimate night of Tap Dogs, dance Moore, Robert Redford (1994). this gnniiKl-hiv.-iking multi-media 11.15 Space: Above And 1.25 Club Nation and Woody Harrelson. 2.25 Cyber.Cafe 10.50 Exclusive Extra. Followed by production of the classic romantic Civic Theatre 11.25 FILM: A Woman Scorned Beyond. Sci-fi drama 5 News Update drama. The Sellfish Shellfish, presented hy 2.55 Dating The Enemy (1991). series. 11.00 The Jack Docherty Show Leeds Childrens Theatre 3.50 Late And Loud 11.40 Club Class Grand Theatre 12.55 FILM: They're A Weird 12.00 This Life ; 4.50 Nile Bites 12.10 News And Sport C'ossi | an Tune, presented hy Opera LUU Raven Theatre Mob (1966). 12.45 FILM: The Premonition 5.00 ITV Sport Classics 12.15 FILM: Confessions of a Pop North Bouncers. 7pm 2.40 Weather (1992). Performer (1975). 2.45 Close 2.40 Close 5.30 ITN Morning News 1.55 FILM: Blind Judgement: nlfltd! Something happened Capricorn: so you uariii Hvcry clay You tend to do Itini; loin; ui>i>. which may return to arc feeling stressed and generally spent in the-same place is things Th extremes, and have haunt the empire yon ha\c fed up with it all. That's no leading to drudgery and an swung rather \ iolemly from surprise now is it? You haven't conceived for yourself. For some excess of boredom. You arc work to rest to play. All in made life eas> for yourself, as I'ecling rather Milncrahle and moderation will ensure that light relief perhaps >ou should do you know that leaving everything even left out of things, hut the the next two weeks »o well. some yoga, at night. By the way is until the last minute is extremely cloud will soon lift and things someone play ing a trick on you? unwise. And I don't mean exams. will «ei heller. Cancer: JIM SAGITTARIUS: One more week of sou thought there was this abnormal behaviour from everyone else Taurus: nowhere logo fora while, a and you will scream. Still, soon you can bug are looking hnghlcr new opportunity knocks, and everyone else. Travels away are necessary, if you see. but it is up you are husy again. Still as unfortunate, but you can't please all the to you w helher il long as you are enjoying people all the time. Oh and if you are feeling starts to rail) again. yourself, that's okay. TARSIGNS unappreciated, this will soon be remedied. You lend to force Scorpio: Libra: You and someone else will be very happy. difficult situations on yourself without having a How things can change week to I hard think about things. And you have gone week for you at the moment. One off sex. What's the problem. minute it seems as if it is raining Gemini: s and the next you discover that it .L/JiiO* You keep leaving home, nly a couple of inches. and soon you will fade from everyone else's Which brings to mind the fact that memory. This will just not do. However, you should firmly keep your everything else is just peachy at the moment. mouth shut about some thines. So keep it that way. 32 may 24 1 __ Flavour of the Day QU.1Q6 Super Furry Animals @ Bradford University A hand who grow in confidence and Lianfairpwllgwyllgogerchwyrndrobwllan weirdness. it's a shame that this tour tysiliogogoyocynygofod (which uas an docs not lake in Leeds, (although in attempt to get into the (iuiness Hook of cinema fairness ihe\ have played here about Records) will not he quite so surprised. Myli Tank Pulurc llmisf HAPPFROM 3PMY UNTI HOUL 5PM R H BITTER, LAGER, CIDER, BIG SCREEN WHITE RUM, GIN, ARCHERS, MALIBU, VODKA MONDAY, TUESDAY AND THURSDAY 8PM - uoPM GAMES 95pAPINT! SATELUTETV ( NON - EVENT NIGHTS ONLY ) 33 may 25 Flavour of the Day Only Jerks and Horses, C4, 9.45pm The British obsession with watching crap. consequences. guide inane and utterly predictable situation Also showing tonight is a documentary comedies is explored tonight as part of a focusing on people whose lives are potentially very interesting C4 special. The dominated by watching soaps and sitcoms highlight could well be Only Jerk* and (Lovely Juhhly. 7.35pm) and the darkly cinema Horses which is the American adaptation of comic Kathleen Turner film, Serial Mom H Hyde Park Picture House (tel. ABC (tel. 245 2665) our beloved national institution. Only Fools (10pm). While the lamentable The Best of 275 2045) Beavis and Butthead Do America; and Horses. The names stay the same, but Benny Hill is on (8.05pm) check out the Microcosmos; 3.00. 7.00. 9.00 1.00,3.15,5.30,8.15 the accents are just a little different. In this cheekily titled Woody Allen writer/actor Return of the Jedi; 2.40 So which one's the Jerk then? episode Delboy & Co. is floated on Wall debut. What's Ne\\' Pussycat'.' (C5, 8pm). Odeon (tel. 2430031) Liar. Liar; 3.15.5.30, 8.00 Jungle 2 Jungle. The Return of the Space Truckers; 12.45, 3.00, 5.40. Street, with unsurprisingly hilarious Jedi. Scream, Romeo and Juliet, 8.00 Donnic Brasco, Space Jam, The Relic, Anna Karenina Cottage Road (tel. 275 1606) Channel 4 Romeo and Juliet BBC 1 BBC 2 ITV Showcase (tel. 01924 420 622) Jungle 2 Jungle. Beavis and Lounge (tel. 275 1061) Butthead, Anna Karenina, Space Jungle 2 Jungle 7.20 Dilly The Dinosaur; 7.25 6.05 Open University; 7.25 The 6.00 GMTV; 8.00 Tom And Jerry 5.40 NBA 24/7; 6.35 Terrytoons; 6.45 Truckers, The Relic, High School Business Cafe; 8.15 Emergency; Miraculous Mellops; 7.10 Madeline; High, Romeo and Juliet, Teletubbies; 8.05 The Pink Kids; 8.25 Disney's Roadhog; 7.35 The Never-ending Story; 8.05 Panther Show; 8.30 Alias Smith 8.30 Stay Tooned!; 9.05 The 9.25 Twinkle The Dream Being; Doug; 8.20 AaahhM! Real Monsters; Anaconda. Liar Liar. Donnie And Jones; 9.20 Country Walks Magical Adventures Of 9.30 The Adventures Of Grady 8.50 Flash Gordon; 9.20 Saved By Brasco, It Takes Two, Scream. Return of the Jedi, Empire Strikes To Curious Places; 9.30 The Big Quasimodo; 9.30 Fully Booked; Greenspace; 9.50 Captain The Bell; 9.45 Moesha; 10.15 Happy 12.00 The Simpsons; 12.45 Tex Simian And The Space Days; 10.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus; Back, When We Were Kings, Question; 9.45 First Light; 10.15 11.40 The Waltons; 12.40 FILM; Mr English Patient, Space Jam See Hear!; 10.45 Snowy River - Avery; 1.00 Regional Monkeys; 10.15 Sunday; 10.50 Hob Takes A Vacation (1962); 2.50 The McGregor Saga; 11.30 Programmes; 1.30 Sunday Morning Worship; 11.50 Sunday; Sitcom Weekend: I Love Lucy; 3.20 Country File; 12.00 On The Grandstand. 1.35 Golf - PGA 12.15 ITN News; 12.25 Calendar Football Italia; 5.25 Terry Pratchett's Discworld Record; 1.00 EastEnders; 2.20 Championship; 1.45 Rugby News; 12.30 F1: Spanish Grand clubs Union; 2.30 Golf - PGA Prix - Live; 3.10 Coronation 6.00 The Monkees Cartoon; 2.35 FILM: Christopher Arts Cafe Bar Nato Championship; 4.05 Racing; 4.15 6.30 Wanted. The public get to win Columbus: The Discovery (1992); Street money for turning in the The Sunday Session with guest DJs. Queer - Duo'.', members only night Golf - PGA Championship 4.30 The Voyage of the Matthew 4.10 FILM: The Rescue runners. playing house and club anthems. 6.30 Land Of The Eagle. This (1987). Action adventure 7.35 Sitcom Weekend: Lovely 5.00 Lifeline Edwards 9pm-2am, membership available on programme looks at in which a group of Jubbly. 5.10 Masterchef Lazy Daze, laid back beats for that the door. Alaska, the vast, remote teenagers set out to 8.05 Sitcom Weekend: The Best 5.45 News: Weather Of Benny Hill. Sunday feeling. expanse that was the rescue their navy The Courtyard 6.05 News Magazines 9.40 Sitcom Weekend: A Puppet European explorers' last commando fathers from Lives In My House The Underground Tlie 7th Night, George spins tunes 6.10 Songs Of Praise. BBC's frontier. captivity in North Korea. 9.45 Sitcom Weekend: Only Jerks Sunday Joint with home cooked for your Sunday salvation. Music Live festival takes 7.20 Star Trek: Voyager. Paris 6.00 Calendar News: Sport And Horses. See today's roasts and laid back jazz. Manchester by storm. makes history by shuttling 6.15 ITN News: Weather Flavour of the Day. Evening Joint Hyde Park Club 10.00 FILM: Serial Mom (1994). Free entry, finishes 10.30pm Despatches. 4.30-10.30pm. Drum 6.45 Last Of The Summer to warp ten, but the 6.30 Savage Skies. 11.40 Sitcom Weekend: Taxi. and bass. £ 1, and with cheap drinks. Wine. A man writing a experience triggers Documentary series which 12.15 The Avengers guide book on cross- biochemical changes uses stunning 1.15 Dispatches country walks meets which transform him into a photography to unravel the 2.00 World Cinema: FILM: French Cancan (1955). gigs someone with local bizarre amphibian like mysteries of the 3.50 World Cinema: FILM: knowledge who is also creature. atmosphere's most Madame Bovary (1934) Duchess Felon and Firkin jungle-trained in 8.05 Cricket - England v destructive phenomena. Vic Chestnut Brendan Riley and Mark Jackson navigational skills. Australia. Tony Lewis Using rare footage, the (comedy) 7.15 The Great Antiques Hunt. introduces highlights of programme looks at the Channel 5 The Dry Dock This week the contestants today's one-day twister that devastated // s A Scream, comedy with acts to Manchester Apollo are in Bristol, where they international from Lord's. Wichita, Kansas, in 1991. be announced, plus MC Pete Dixon Foo Fighters + guests and open s|x>ts. From 7pm, free attempt to match glasses 9.05 Have I Got News For You. 7.30 Coronation Street. Angie 6.00 Serengeti Safari; 6.30 The award-winning looks for volunteers to Havakazoo; 7.00 Dappledown Farm; to decanters, and value 7.30 Havakazoo: Wimzie's House; barbershop memorabilia. comedy hosted by Angus model her underwear. 8.00 Mr Men And Little Miss; 8.05 8.00 As Time does By. Jean Deayton. Judy desperately tries to Wind In The Willows; 8.30 The Enid wonders whether the time 9.35 It's Not Unusual: A raise cash to save Gary. Blyton Adventure Series: 9.00 Wishbone; 9.30 Mag Plus; 10.00 has come to hand over the Lesbian And Gay History. 8.00 Wokenwell. Offbeat Documentary series drama series about the Crossfire; 10.30 My Sunday; 11.00 running of her secretarial Mariella Frostrup's Brunch; 11.30 agency to Judith and charting the change in mysterious goings-on in a Exclusive; 12.50 5 News; 1.00 The Sandy. attitudes to homosexuality northern town with a small Mag; 2.00 USA High; 2.20 The Mag population and an even 8.30 Plotlands. Harry Crowley's during the 20th century. 3.15 Family Affairs Omnibus. smaller police force. With Chris and Annie receive an promises of work galore 10.25 FILM: Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story (1993). Ian McElhinney, Celia unwanted early-morning call. prove to be false. And Jack and Duncan make a Biography of martial arts Imrie and Lesley Dunlop. when Rory and his son, frightening discovery. exponent Bruce Lee, who 9.00 Golden Rose Winner: 5.25 African Safari. Fionn, are fired, their rose to superstardom while Cold Feet. Another 6.25 5 News And Sport hopes of building a new life battling racism plus his chance to see the 6.30 Wowfabgroovy. 7.00 What's The Story? on Langton Hill seem own inner 'demon warrior'. romantic comedy drama doomed. 7.30 Ferry Tales, followed by 5 The story follows his which won this year's News Update 9.20 News: Weather progress in the martial arts, Golden Rose of Montreux. 8.00 FILM: What's New Pussycat? 9.35 Born To Run. Drama through to his teaching in 10.00 Hale And Pace - The (1965). Classic comedy series revolving round the 1960s. Tasty Morsels Special marking Woody Allen's debut adultery, greed and as a writer/actor. Stars Peter 12.20 Space: Above And 11.00 ITN News: Weather Sellers and Peter O'Toole. marathon running. Beyond. Sci-fi drama 11.15 F1: Spanish Grand Prix - 10.00 5 News Update 10.30 Everyman series. Highlights 10.05 Twin Peaks 11.20 FILM: Peyton Place 1.05 Quantum Leap. 12.15 TV FILM: Trapped (1989). 11.00 Turnstyle. The Foo Fighters; Dave Grohl and company play (1957). 1.55 FILM: Paandav 12.00 Live And Dangerous! in Manchester tonight, having already wowed 2.00 The Learning Zone 5.00 Live And Dangerous: Asian 1.50 Weather 4.00 Languages 4.45 Jobfinder Sport the crowds in Leeds. 1.55 Close 5.00 Business And Work 5.30 ITN Morning News 5.30 Whittle LMCKXOpen 7 days a week 5pm till late 5 LMCKV5 Open 7 days a week 5pm till late To order just pick up the phone and give us a call. To order just pick up the phone and give us a call Your order will be delivered FREE to your Your order will be delivered FREE to your door within 3 3 mtteradius of our shop. UfCKVS door within a 3 m«rra*Ms cf our shop. / Voted NONE / VotedA NONE No, 1 by DELIVER No, 1 by DELIVER I Leeds FASTER Leeds 1 FASTER \studentsy \ students/ EE PHO FREE PHONE OSOO 11 33 OSOO 11 3345 81 RAGLAN ROAD, HYDE PARK, LEEDS, LS2 9DZ 81 RAGLAN ROAD, HYDE PARK, LEEDS, LS2 9DZ 34 may 26 Flavour of the Day Father Ted, C4* '8.50pm ' guide About three years ago this bloke I kno\\ was league celebrity, and it regularly lops the C4 telling me about this great new eoniedy ratings. programme about a couple of priests. Oh This particular episode, the Christmas how I scoffed. "A comedy'.' About Irish Special, is one of the more surreal. It cinema priests'.' It'll never work'" Seems I was includes a scene where eight priests get lost wrong, then. in the maze like world of the lingerie Hyde Park Picture House del. 275 Heavis and Butthead Do AmeiK.i. Channel 4 are currently re-running the entire 2045) I-ixi. vl.x5J(>.8.l5 department in a huge superstore. A Microcosmos; 7.1X1, y.OO Return ol the Jedi; 2.40 first series, including last week the brilliant terrifying experience. I'm sure. Liar, Liar, 3.15,5.30,8.00 first ever episode. Since then the shows star Following this is the last programme in the OdeonUel. 24300311 Space Truckers; 12.45. 3.00, 5.40. Jungle 2 Jungle. The Return of the X.(X) - Dermot Morgan - has become a major Sitcom Weekend. Up Pompeii (I Opm). Dermut Morgan happily reading Jedi. Scream. Romeo and Juliet. hi\ Leeds Student Donnie Brasco, Space Jam. The Relic. Anna Kurcniiu Cottage Road (tcl. 275 1606) Romeo and Juliet Showcase (Id. «l-)24 420 622) Jungle - Jim.ulc. Rcavis and Lounge (tcl. 275 10611 BBC 1 BBC 2 ITV Channel 4 Hutthcad. Ann. i Karenina. Space Jungle. 2 Jungle Truckers, The Relit. High School High, Romeo and Juliel. Anaconda. 1 1:11 I lar, Donnie Bras.co, It Takes 7.00 News; 7.10 Open a Door; 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Supermarket 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The Bigger Two. Scream. Return of the Jedi. 7.15 Bump; 7.20 Secret Life of Hear Breakfast News; 7.20 Sweep; 9.55 Disney Cartoon; Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched, 9.35 Sister Empire Strikes Back. When We Were Toys; 7.35 Raccoons; 8.00 News; FILM: Cry Danger (1951); 8.40 Sister; 10.05 Hangin With Mr Cooper; Kings. English Patient. Space Jam 10.05 FILM: Master of the World 8.10 Eek! The Cat; 8.20 Buried FILM: Split Second (1953); 10.30 Crystal Maze; 11.35 Pink (1961) ; 12.00 ITN News: Panther; 12.05 California Dreams; ABC (tel. 245 26651 Treasure; 8.35 Teenage Mutant 10.00 Teletubbies; 10.35 The Weather; 12.15 Coronation Phil Silvers Show; 11.00 Golf - 12.30 FILM: Challenge To Lassie Hero Turtles; 9.00 News; 9.05 Street; 12.45 FILM: Captain Ron (1949); 1.55 Channel 4 Racing from Blue Peter; 9.30 Sweet Valley PGA Championships; 12.00 (1992) Sandown Park; 4.00 Fifteen To One High; 9.55 Poddington Peas; FILM: Rancho Notorious (1952); 2.30 FILM: Rio Bravo (1959). 4.30 Countdown clubs 1.30 Golf-PGA 10.00 FILM: Herbie Goes Classic western set in a 5.00 Montel Williams Championships; 5.30 Today's Bananas (1980); 11.30 FILM: small Texas border town 5.40 Sitcom Weekend: The Day; 6.00 Chelsea Flower Desmond's The Courtyard Rit/> \ Robin Hood (1973); 12.55 Newsr; under the grip of an evil Sllilkt Yllttl (illHIYt1 lilting. fUllk. SOllI Tin- Wnrld. music lor the' masses. Show ; 6.50 Gardeners' World 6.10 Sitcom Weekend: FILM: On and sweet disco music I0pm-2am, free with flyer, before 1.10 Disney Villains; 1.50 Take Two; 7.00 Music Live cattle baron.Starring John The Buses (1971). 10.30pm. £ I after Neighbours 7.30 Computers Don't Bite: Wayne, Dean Martin and 7.50 Sitcom Weekend: George ( lulit ropa 2.15 FILM: Spartacus (1960). Ricky Nelson. And Mildred. A/<;t;/( Roundabout, party nii:hi Liquid The Beginner's Guide. 8.20 Sitcom Weekend: Rising 'IK-'XK. 9.30pm-2am. Drinks .S'uTt'l AVvnY//. new night oi rare The true story of a slave Award-winning gardener 5.05 ITN News: Weather 5.15 Calendar News And Damp. SOp pint. groou-. lunk. soul and disco night with rebellion in 76 BC against Stephen Woodham reveals 8.50 Sitcom Weekend: Father Ted residents Kunle and Nevil Grinne. £2 the might of the Roman his latest gardening tool - a Weather Christmas Special. A Edwards NUS/ £3 others. 5.20 FILM: Stay Tuned (1992). Him:nnhil Htcini. funk, acul-ja//. hip- 9pm-2aiD Empire. Starring Kirk 3-D computer package. In shopping. hop and siuilwith Paul T. Remember George Clinton says. Douglas and Laurence LA, reporter Andy Webb Comic horror fantasy 10.00 Sitcom Weekend: FILM: Up "Don't fake the funk otherwise your Olivier. tracks down the companies about a Seattle couple Pompeii (1970). Lc Phono nose will grow..." 5.15 Neighbours. Ruth's family selling worthless who disappear inside their 11.35 Sitcom Weekend: Cheers. Mirul Ytiiii Hftul. rock & alternative. state-of-the-art television 12.10 NBA Raw I0pnv2am. £1 before 11pm, a after. Majtstk drive her to distraction. shareware to UK 1.10 NYPDBlue Newcastle Bntwn & Jack Daniel's h)\r in hi- ki\scd. bank holiday 5.40 News consumers. set. 3.00 FILM: Crackerjack (1938). £1.23 spectacular, with Jeremy Healy, Rob 6.00 Red Nose Awards 8.00 Mr Bell Goes To 7.00 Wish You Were Here...?. 4.25 Watching The Detectives Tissera, Tony Walker and Mat Westminster Judith Chalmers take in 5.25 Backdate Nato Moriarty. 7.00 Auntie's TV Favourites. u 8.40 The Antiques Show. one of the greatest Ffitultv/>r I-tin new nisrht playing ,3 36 28 Flavour of the Day guide The Supernaturals @ The Duchess An Evenms: Session upe hand if ever a new album that has landed them into ihere was one. The Supeniaturuls pla\ the top ten. a jan<:ly. radio friendly type of pop that The «i» toniuht \\ill he last and frantic, cinema either irritates or impresses but never short of unod\ne humour. Their latest singles The Den lie fore Scottish accents and hit singles. Hjik- Park Picture House (tel. 275 \IU (Id. 2452M>5) }'e\!ci'iln\ \ Man and Smile cascaded Support tonight comes from local 2045) !id Builhe.nl 1 >i> An IX) into the hit parade (and then fell out t\pes diass Show and tickets cost L'5 Retlllll nl Ihe.ledi. the ne\t week with equal aplomb), but (plus hooking fee) and are availabl. <)di-«n DINNER SUIT OR EVENING GOWN HIRE 20% STUDENT DISCOUNT (Returnable deposit required for all garments) The ^ The AT Greatclothes FASHION STORE 84 York Road (A64), Leeds, LS9 9AA TEL: 0113 235 0303 Open Mon-Fri 9.30-9.00 Sat 9.30-6.00 Sun 11.00-5.00 Bus services outside store: 4, 5, 27, 40, 56, 57, 80, 83, 165, X2 37 may 29 Flavour of the Day * Salad Days* @ *The Grand guide Direct from the West End this hugely their world looks set to change forever... popular production of Julian Slade's magical When it premiered in London more than musical. Salad Days warms the heart and forty years ago, Salad Days ran for over five evokes a yearning for the care-free sunny years (no computer games or video players cinema evenings of August. Young lovers Timothy in those days, y'see) and became one of the Hyde Park Picture House (tel. 275 Patient, Space Jam and Jane face an uncertain future. They want most popular British musicals ever. This 2045) to marry, but hey. how can they make a production hopes to take you back to the Rebecca; 2.00 ABC (tel. 245 2665) Microcosmos: 7.IX). 9.00 Beavis and Butthead Do America: living? Then, would you believe it. in a halcyon days of an era when a Stalls seat 1 00..i.IS. 5.30, 8.15 London park they meet a mysterious tramp cost a guinea (but now they cost £14) and Odeon (tel. 2430031) Return of the Jcdi: 2.40 the magic piano really could solve your Jungle 2 Jungle, The Return of the Liar, Liar; 3.15, 5.30. 8.00 Art-it 'I they cute? who offers them an extraordinary piano with Jedi, Scream, Romeo and Juliet, Space Truckers; 12.45,3.00.5.40. a magical ability to make people dance and life's problems! Donnie Brasco. Space Jam. The Relic. 8.00 Anna Kurcnina Cottage Road (tel. 275 1606) Showcase I tel. (11924 420 622) Romeo and Juliet Channel 4 lungle. Beavis and Bullhead. BBC BBC 2 ITV Anna Karcnina. Space Truckers. The Lounge (tel. 275 1061) Relic. Hich School High, Romeo arid Jungle 2 Jungle Julicl. Anaconda. Liar Liar. Dimnic BraM-o. It Takes Two, Scream. Return 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Supermarket 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The Bigger Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; 9.35 Sister of the Jedi. Empire Strikes Back. BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News; 7.30 Sweep; 9.55 Calendar News; Sister; 10.05 Hangin' With Mr Cooper; When We Were Kings. English Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Style Fireman Sam; 7.40 Eek! The 10.00 The Time... The Place; 10.30 The Crystal Maze; 11.35 Pink Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; 10.30 Cat/Thunderlizards; 7.50 Buried 10.30 This Morning; 12.20 Panther; 12.05 California Dreams; Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 Treasure; 8.10 Teenage Mutant Calendar News; 12.30 ITN 12.30 Light Lunch; 1.30 Catuor; 1.35 News; 11.05 The Great Escape; Hero Turtles; 8.35 Blue Peter; Lunchtime News; 12.55 Home FILM: Passage Home (1955); 3.30 clubs And Away: 1.25 The Summer Collector's Lot; 4.00 Fifteen To One: 11.35 Real Rooms; 12.00 News; 9.00 Raccoons; 9.30 Sweet 4.30 Countdown; 4.55 Ricki Lake; 12.05 Call My Bluff; 12.35 Mary Valley High; 9.55 Poddington Bay Musical; 1.50 Afternoon 5.30 Animal Passions; 6.00 Springhill Club Mex skate romps and live p.a's. Live; 2.20 Vanessa; 2.50 Reluih. featuring Black Twang, the UK's 10pm-2am, £3/ £4 with flyer. Berry At Home; 1.00 News; 1.30 Peas: 10.00 Teletubbies; 10.30 6.30 Hollyoaks. Bazz is worried number one rap uroup. and New Flesh Regional News; 1.40 The The Adventures Of Skippy; 11.00 Afternoon Live; 3.20 ITN News about his brain operation. for Old. champions of the North. £6 7.00 Channel 4 News hetnre i t pm, L~ utter. Arrive early to Planet Earth Weather Show: 1.45 Neighbours; Madhur Jaffrey's Flavours Of Headlines; 3.25 Calendar News: A Ki(-k L:!> The Li^hties. Re-live those 3.30 The Riddlers; 3.40 7.50 Best of Brass avoid disappointment Resident l)Js VU 2.10 Quincy; 2.55 Through The India; 12.00 Making Tracks; 8.00 Health Alert. Soul and Dee Jay Cee. I Opm-2am awkward teenage years in style. Kicking Wizadora; 3.50 Rupert: 4.15 up a storm ot the ' 80s. with a ntidiie of Keyhole; 3.20 Closet Secrets; 12.30 Working Lunch; 1.00 8.30 All At Sea. Transylvania Pet Shop; 4.40 The Headrow the '«.<)>,. XOp with flyer, £2.50 without. 3.30 Playdays; 3.50 Postman Fireman Sam; 1.10 Cartoon; 1.25 9.00 Dispatches Off the Wall, cuttiniz edge deep house Sweat; 5.10 Home And Away Castaway 80p a bottle. Pat; 4.05 Felix The Cat; 4.20 FILM: The Girl Most Likely 9.45 Short And Curlies: Hello, laced with funk and ja//. 8pm-2um, £ I a 5.40 ITN Early Evening News Hello, Hello. pint. £l on the ilixir. Julia Jekyll And Harriet Hyde; (1957); 3.00 News; 3.05 Making Ritzv 5.55 Calendar 10.00 Father Ted. Brit ?i»£ big beats, boozing and nogo- Babies; 3.55 News; 4.00 4.35 Return To Jupiter; 5.00 6.30 Tonight 10.35 Northern Exposure. Le Phono ing, as Ritzy goes indie! £1 NUS or with Newsround Blockbusters; 4.25 Ready, 11.30 FILM: The Hustler (1961). Meggalomania. trance-tastic dub with flyer, 50p pint, £ I selected trebles. 7.00 Emmerdale. Will has a The Egg. Lager and bitter £ 1.50 a pint 5.10 No Sweat. A session in the Steady, Cook; 4.55 Esther; 5.30 Robert Rossen's classic drama word with Lyn about 9pm-2am, £?/£2.50 The Underground recording studio proves to Today's The Day starring Paul Newman as a bullying. pool-room hustler who takes Liquid Ciitaljitina. Boogaloo97! With DJs be daunting for Greg. 6.00 Star Trek: Deep Space 7.30 3-D. Human-interest and on legendary champion Jackie HiiHem Rush Chth, new ia/y. vibes night, Chico Malo & El Greco, plus live music. 5.35 Neighbours. Mai and Nine. A mishap sends Gleason. with live band What is Hip. Doors 8pm. dance class 830-9.30, live topical reports, presented 8.30pm-2am, £3 / £4 Quark, Rom and Nog back 2.00 The Death of Childhood band 10.30pm, ends 2am. Catherine harbour a by Julia Somerville. £5 cone's/£6. mutual attraction. in time to Earth in 1947, to 3.00 Memento LUU Harvey Milk Bar 8.00 The Bill. A teenage girl 3.30 Ulster Unearthed Suite of the Nation, mainstream indie Hyde Park Club 6.00 Six O'clock News: Roswell, New Mexico, with a broken nose claims 3.55 Encyclopaedia Galactica Weather where military forces night playing all your favourite tunes. Citmtption. house, techno, drum&bass, she was assaulted by her 4.05 Geographical Eye Over 9pm-2am. £2 and with cheap drinks. with Ben Roberts and Tom Power. 6.30 Regional News mistake them for alien ex-boyfriend. But Keane Britain Free before 9pm, £1 after Magazines invaders and Quinnan discover her 4.25 Schools At Work Nato 7.00 Watchdog Healthcheck. 6.45 Space Precinct. Sgt 4.30 The English Programme Aiiiotnaik, indie night, injuries go deeper. With 5.00 Talking About Sex I Opm-2am, £3 on the door. Alice Beer presents the Fredo's daughter is having Andrew Paul and Andrea 5.25 Backdate As;v/Km. hip hop and skate punk, with consumer magazine terrifying visions of a serial Mason. programme that puts slasher. The girl's 8.30 My Wonderful Life. With health stories under the nightmares turn out to be Emma Wray. microscope. all too real when the 9.00 Bodyguards. When a ggs 7.30 EastEnders. Lorraine slasher is discovered to be Cold War defector returns makes a painful decision. a cop who works with her to London, Shaw and Irish Centre 6.00 5 News Early; 7.30 Havakazoo; Tim Berne with Paraphrase + Blood T NEED SOME MONEY FOR THAT BIG TRIP OR HOLIDAY? fim FREEPHONE SUMMER RENT TO PAY? BU«G&800 ^ 66 52 TEMPORARY INDUSTRIAL AND CLERICAL FREEPHO WORK SOUTHCAN FftKD CHICK CALL US NOW ON (O113)23933O1 DONNCft KCBflBS Pudsey Personnel is an Kijual Opportunities Employer OPEN 12pm lo 43m Bon-Sal & 12am li 2pm San 38 television 2 V lioXeiJ in I That do A weekly runaround of last week's TV comings and goings t's worked before so it'll work again... merchandisely Ibut let's make it a bit more British. This appears to be the Seen it, done it, want to buy the T-shirt? JOE DOWNIE and JENNY WOOD turn strategy behind ITV's "eccentric little town" on, tune in and shop out to find the best TV tie-in merchandise in town drama, Wokcnwell (Sunday, 8pm). Where Northern Exposure and WOOLWORTHS PAPERTREE Twin Peaks are quirk) and engrossing, the first episode of The Merrion Centre St Johns Centre Wokenwi'll was neither. But it IIV/A \\cird. Tliis shop has it all - quality If you love the ubiquitous Wallace and Gromit. this is just one of many places in Turning the story of a severed items including Tots TV town to buy tie-in merchandise. On sale here are key rimix (£1.99). address book finger found outside a butcher's plastic plates and elitter nines (£3.99). magnets (£2.49) and shop into such a bland affair must (£\.19-£5.99),aSpiderman a furry Wallace and have heen quite a feat. It electronic \veh- shooter <;lo\e Gwendoline (£14.99 and eerlainly caused a couple of (£14.99 land Wallace ami £15.99 respective!} ). Being a comparative!) nast\ hits (a (irontit fiiuirine air freshener lopped-otf hand and a climactic card shop there is also a cleaver fighi) to seem (£3.49). There is also a selection of greetings cards disturbingly out of place. The selection o( Simpsons featuring your favourite TV town itself has as much character stationer) and the ultimate celebrities and their infamous as the backdrop photographs of bargain: a liiivwaich calcliphrus. '/> and Mrs Kani.se> Slreet outside e\er>one's backpack sel (reduced from Merlon all have a range of front door in \i'ii;/ih HMV sells more than music, oh yes. Tetevisionoholics arc catered for too. Posters on sale (£3.99) feature Scoohy Don. Hearts and Hut/head. The X I-ilcs. Hahy/on 5 MARKS AND SPENCERS and even cull classics such as Hong Kong Phooe\ and the Hair Hear Hum li. For City Centre those of you who like to get it all onto your chest. T-shirts (£9.99-£l 1.99) picturing Rut; Rats, Star Trek, Spidermun, t-riends. Shooting Stars (pictured) and Marks and Sparks may not seem like a TV tie-in the Muppeis arc among the wide selection on offer. Having said all this, if it is outlet, but try venturing into the food section. Bart music you are after, go upstairs for TV-theme compilation (TX Our pick of the You certainly couldn't accuse Simpson cakes are a sweet £5.99. \\hereas best'.' Television'* Greatest Hits of the 70's and XO's (I!Id.99) includes the themes l-'nustiiil: A I.csh'um and Paddington and Miss Pinny designs cost a 'trifle' from Slarsk\ and Hutch, I~>\nasl\, (id\ History (Simday, 9.20pm. more at £8.99. Wonder Woman and the obscenely BBC2) of being mundane. The catch) Inspector Gadget. This is first of this three-part Cult Fiction (£1 1.99) has much of documentar) series gave ga\ the same as well as the music from pensioners the opportunil) to Twin Peaks and Mission Impossible. describe their experiences before the Second \\orld War. If it's a laugh you're after, try the Illuminating and subtly poignant. Simpsons Sing the Hlnes. tracks these accounts provided a include 'Do the Barlman' and fascinating insight into a false 'Moanin Lisa Blues' a snip at only 'Golden Age' from a frequently £6.99... ignored perspective. Underlining the point, the late- night debate show Dating the Enemy (Thursday. 12.4()am, ITV) purports to 'examine the ins and COMIC STRIP outs of modern relationships' The Headrow Centre (fnarr) by separating the studio audience by gender, men on one This is TV tie-in mecca, jam-packed with the fashion item to own this summer. Stop side and women on the other. kitsch, cool and just plain cute here if you're after those Ciromit/ Shaun There's even a crack down the memorabilia. The Sesame Street stuff the Sheep shoulder bags (£19.99) or the centre of the floor to symbolise (pictured) is the best: cheaper purses at £9.99. this cavernous division (which is pencils (99p). Hen vis and Hulthead also presumably the place where figurines (£3.99). do\h (£6.99) Rug Rats an\ gay members of the audience moneyboxes (£7.99). pants (£3.99 for 3) and would ha\e to sit). Host Patricia Mitchell turns every issue into a puppets (£11.99 land (iarfield backpack full-scale battle of the sexes - a luggage tags (£2.50) (£9.99 pictured) are skill which is alvvavs which could well he also \v orth a look. constructive, especially when the subject under debate is as relevant as last week's hot topic. palmislr). We've come a I' vv a> since the war. people STUDENT DISCOUNT!!! Switch off your TV set and go do something less boring instead - shopping! Those nice people at Comic Strip offer 10% off all merchandise on presentation of a valid NUS card Ross Horsley 39 Our student homes have a GENUINE minimum standard off safety, security & comfort JLJ- _[ L> i!j ESTATE AGENTS http://www.interpages.co.uk/mar"** k pickering%/ 35 ARNDALE CENTRE, OTLEY IEADINGLEY Tel: 0113 274 6746 78 O841 40 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 16,1997 1 found it a little strange that a man so proud of having lived in Brixton should show contempt for ordinary people doing ordinary jobs' A(iS to riches is how fairy tales go. Bar teward to Deputy Prime Minister? Now that's a new one, 'new' being the a long term refunding of similar most constituencies of all the MPs, characteristic lacking in many senior maintenance payments, possibly through including Paddy Ashdown." The mobile politicians, although he admits this outcast obvious cliche. For John the National Insurance scheme, where if conference room come camper van status can sometimes be a hindrance. Prescott it is a fairy tale come your earnings fall below a certain level equipped his army with the firepower to "I've always been swimming against true and a chance to put 30 you won't have to pay it back. But if you endure the drawn-out campaign. the tide hut it's quite comforting when you are earning well over a long term then throughout which the 5S-year-old looked know sometimes you're right and your years experience in to you'll be expected to fund thai." remarkably energetic. view becomes the majority view " operation. These are words that will only come as In tune with the people, but 'risky' Emphatic in his lettwing convictions, As a right hand man he stands a surprise to the most ignorant, or mosi with the media, Prescott was kept in the and widely regarded as Labour's closest more obviously to the left of his wealthy, of students as both Labour and closest lor much of the campaign, his link to the unions, he has had to bite his Conservative have publicly supported the marathon tour suspiciously corresponding tongue on many issues to keep party unity party. Consequently there have reforms Dearing will implement. w ilh Labour's attempt to hush its most at the top of Labour's priority list. Serious been occasional clashes with Mi- But then, asked plain!) if a Labour outspoken of MPs. and committed are words which apply to Blair, or "Tony, as he is government will scrap the maintenance 'Pre//a' has been at it since 1970, Prescott. He. more than anyone is keen to affectionately called. And in grant unconditionally, Prescott when the people of Hull North first sent dismiss talk of fault lines within the party; unfortunately resorts to the well rehearsed him lo Westminster. It had not been the pressing ahead with the two "quickie" typically forthright tones Prescott and manufactured Education hills and looking forward to sums up the years ahead as Ministerial mode: "Like I implementing policy. "potentially bumpy". have said, we will put our "We are committed to the expansion ol The once common man still proposals to Dearing and education. Industry \vanls to see a 40 per possesses the common touch and wait to see what he has to cent intake of graduates, whereas the talking to him soon becomes say." lories have fitted it down to M) percent." The best advice might be he says, loosening his collar and leaning enjoyable, a credit less easy to to read between the lines attribute to his predecessor. Michael forward. "That means we have got to look The new Labour at how you finance that. To finance it to llcseltinc. Lot main. ne\\ Labour and government is still in its the level of 1979 would put something old. Prescott represent a clear division honeymoon period and tew like 6p on tax. We are trying to find a in the part> 's change. But the true want to knock it during its compromise on the matter." Yorkshireman continues to act as confident start. Impressively ambassador for a party that has Prescott. just as before the IMI- v. have changed, and with them, continually denied ditching its election, does not talk ot a students. Once famed for their leftwing roots. magic formula to undo the Tactivism, epitomised by the attitude His Cabinet position of Deputy Prime Tory wrongs. He's a realist and demonstrations of the "60s, most Minister in charge of Knvironment. and an optimist and exerts would now prefer to Email friends than Transport and the Regions reflects the this feeling on the people lobby MPs. Predictably. Prescott's commitment and ambition he thrives on around him. campaign visits to Leeds attracted no "That's the luxury of being a Minister - His primary role as outburst from the student population you are able at last to convert political Deputy Prime Minister will complaining about grant cuts and ideas into action," he say s. he to stomp around the hardship. A recent NUS survey showed 40 percent of undergraduates chose not lo Although his "super-ministry' position regions again. It would drive docs not put him directly at the helm of him mad to sit in his office - vole. So. with so much student apathy, is educational reforms, lie speaks as Michael Hesellme did - politics ignoring the student.' passionately about the problems lacing with Minister's diaries on "I don't think 1 can explain student apathy. 1 don't think students should be higher education his screen, coordinating then apathetic. Students above all should not "What I ha\e said in regards to public utterances. His be apathetic." students, and what I have picked up from offices are set to be among Prescott pauses, then goes on: "If going around the country and talking to the busiest; just this week he students, is that they are very concerned announced a 'gel tough' students are apathetic they should ask themselves what are they there for. just to about the whole financing of education." policy for the errant water receive the benefits and not actually make Prescott is well known tor his blunt, companies. irost obvious of routes. Leaving school at plain speaking. It is a quality he applies to A key figure in shaping the Labour 15 after failing the 11 -plus, he was a a contribution to society?" It is a sign of the Deputy Prime the the issue of fundng; "\Ve ha\e made it manifesto, he stands proud of the Cunard bar steward for eight years before Minister's confidence that lie seeks not clear there will be no top-up fees in the promises it details. "Our manifesto, our joining the Merchant Navy. John Major warned the electorate merely to appease students but to urge universities, which some have been doing promises to the people, in all areas as well as students in education, is what we will against a Deputy who was more at home them to make a contribution to New - that will all be paid for by the state." He Labour's project. "We have a competing denies this \\as a vote-winner targeted at be judged on in five years. We want a two coming down the aisle serving drinks. "I found it a little strange." Prescott band from pensioners, to hospitals, to students and does not Hit around the fold-package, namely two elections in a chuckles, "that a man so proud of having education and to a different lower level as highly publicised area of student grants 10-year programme, to make the real changes in education and to deliver what lived in Brixton should show contempt for well. All these areas have a property band either. ordinary people doing ordinary jobs " on Labour and after 18 years I'm bound to "We have also spelled out there are real we promise." Having moved up the social ladder, he say every student should he asking problems with the maintenance grant. We The 'Prescott Express' coach allowed is now a self-declared member of the themselves whether are they satisfied with are not happy with the student loan system him to travel more than ]().()()() miles in the election campaign. It is a feat that his middle class. Yet his background keeps the kind of society we've got. I'm not. We as it is - having to pay it back in five years press officer is proud of; "he coveted the him in touch with people. It is a look to the students who have the when most students have the lowest of intelligence - the people who got to deal earning levels." with the future - to help us make that Inevitably the Dearing contribution." report enters the conversation John Prescott's intelligence is often in another of Prescott's overlooked, which angers him. He's an famously ungrammatical 'If students are apathetic they should ask themselves old hand at this game and not contented statements. with moderate success. In true new "We will put our proposals what are they there for, just to receive the benefits Labour spun he claims "things can only to Dearing who is to report get better". Students everywhere will have shortly. We will be looking for and not actually make a contribution to society?' to wait and see. 41 14 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23, 1997 low come the academic ye almost over when if feels li rted five minutes ago? catches up with its rst years who will be ampn thelas![Leedsgraduates ' millennium, ana asks "ho ISTRY it for you?" MY HOTIH Words: srviews: TY REGA 'I can't believe it's all over/ 1996 1999 GRADUATE May 1997 iits you around the ifternoon pint. incompetents are uncaringly losing. The particularly unmotivated one legged Yet although you can remember a encore to that long anticipated gig, sloth when compared to the speed with pleasant expanse of time between those start of June. Maybe When it comes, it is completely two moments of puzzlement, and as anexpected. You certainly hadn't where four songs seem to merge into which your first year passes. you are lying in Hyde three bars and a chorus. your chosen hall recedes into the Park soaking up the anticipated it. Suddenly someone That disgusting three hour exam that | HAT panic and bewilderment distance, you find yourself convinced turns to you and says "Do you has hung over you for weeks as a you initially felt as the estate that little more than five minutes has b. rays of the know, we're almost second years painful marathon of writing, but which car door slammed shut with an elapsed since that first week of October. burgeoning summer sun. Or |now." ebbs away seemingly through a hole in alarming note of finality, and But as they say, time flies when you're perhaps you are sitting in Some things in life pass you by with the fabric of time, and laughs at you as your parents and Squirty the dog spending nine months strapping traffic la positively rude display of speed. The you realise you have only twenty disappeared over the horizon back in cones to exhaust pipes. Or something the corner of the Old Bar, |last twenty minutes of that vital league minutes left to write some verbose October, is replaced by a strangely like that... sipping lazily at a mid- game that your chosen team of waffle about pig farming in Guatemala familiar yet oh so different sense of Back in October, Leeds Student or whatever else is your panic and bewilderment as said estate added to the obligatory fresher reason for academic car door shuts very firmly next to you, bewilderment by liberally grabbing six Name: Hillary Miller existence.Yet all these things and that little piece of suburbia reclaims of said new students, with the intention Institution: Leeds University are as the progress of a you for the next three months. of following them through their three Course: Management Studies and Maths Home Area: Whitby Pick five words to describe your first year I can't believe I'm doing this. I think that's six. University Hall: Bodington What do you think you have achieved during the last nine months? Made lots of new friends, found out a lot about a new place, and gained a lot of confidence. Pick five words to describe your first year. Have you met the other half of your dreams in halls? The best time ever! Well that's four. God no, not by a long shot! It's bit upsetting and depressing really. What do you think you have achieved during the last nine months? Mmm somewhat disappointing. There just isn't anyone. Made some really good friends, had some excellent times. In some ways I've grown up and Do you have a house sorted out for next year? in some ways I haven't. Yes, happily enough we're living in Hyde Park, which is kind of scary! Have you met the other half of your dreams in halls? Are you looking forward to moving or would you rather stay in No, still the same man from home. I'm quite pleased it's survived this year. halls"? Do you have a house sorted out for next year? I'm really looking forward to moving into a house. It'll be nice to be Yes. we got the two houses next door to each other like we wanted, six in one and six in the independent, and I cannot wait to get away from hall food. Playing your other, so that should be fun. music as loud as you want will be a novelty too. Are you looking forward to moving out, or would you rather stay in halls? • What have you got planned for the summer? Holiday abroad or I'm so looking forward to having a house, mainly because of food. Bodington food is dodgy job. disgusting. It'll be nice not to have a warden, as ours is a nightmare! I'm looking forward I'm going to be temping for a couple of months, and then I'm off to to the house parties as well. Spain to a language school. After all that I'm hoping to go to Istanbul on What have you got planned for the summer? Holiday abroad or dodgy job? holiday with some friends from home. Hopefully I'll be going on holiday, but so far it's just the dodgy job I'm afraid! Name: Sian Herschel Three months with your parents or a summer in Leeds? I think I'll come back for a couple of weekends In Leeds, but I'll be Three months with your parents or a summer in Leeds? Institution: Leeds University spending the rest of the time at home, I hardly see my parents when I'm Hopefully we'll be having a reunion in Leeds during summer, the rest of the time it'll be Course: History nice to be at home with my twin sister. at home so three months of them is not really a problem. How's the revision going? Home Area: High Wycombe How's the revision going? My exams haven't started yet. I'm actually at home swotting at the moment, but my sister University Hall: Bodington The exams startt next week which is quite scary. It's a bit weird because has just got me out of bed to come to the phone! everyone else seems to be working really hard, like getting firsts and What do you have planned for the lazy days of June? stuff! After the Amsterdam experience last term there's talk of about 40 of us going to Blackpool, What do you have planned for the lazy days of June? or we might go paintballing. - You know that thing where you all run around a forest I'll be staying here until June 20 and then going home to work. throwing paint at each other Your first year is almost over. Will life ever be the same again? Your first year is almost over. Will life ever be the same again? I hope so. I've had a brilliant first year but I'm a bit concerned about I think I'm going to have to work harder next year, but apart from that I can't see it being this idea that you only see the same five people all the time in the much different. I hope not anyway. second year. 42 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23,1997 15 Pick five words to describe your first year. Pick five words to describe your first year. Fairly disappointing yet quite... God. I can't think of another word. I Boss cider. pi/-/as. sugarwell bar, hangover, skint.. That's more wish I didn't have such a bad hangover. than five. Never mind! What do you think you have achieved during the last nine What do you think you have achieved during the last nine months? months? Well I know what I want to do now. I've changed my course from I've made a lot of friends, done my work better than I thought I Environmental Management, which totally drained my interest. I'm would. I didn't expect to do a lot of work... I've had a damn good now going to do Communication Studies and Politics. social life aswell. so I've managed to tit everything in really! Have you met the other half of your dreams in halls? Have you met the other half of your dreams in halls? Not quite, but things are beginning to perk up a bit. I met a young lady Oh no not this question. Right, you can quote me on this. My love a while ago, although she's from home. But mmm. it's developing life is like an oasis in the desert of life..., absolutely crap to be nicely. honest. (And you can put in brackets - , not like my heartbroken Do you have a house sorted out for next year? flat mates.' one of which has just split up with his girlfriend and is Yes. It's about a 20 second walk from the Parkinson Steps, just behind si> devastated he is sick every time he eats anything!). I'm glad all the takeaways, so obviously it's an amazing location. It's a house of I'm not IS any more, I mean my love life is non-existent but at seven blokes, so it's going to be kebabs and beer galore. I'm sure least it's uncomplicated, shimmering in the distance... palm trees Are you looking forward to moving out, or would you rather stay and all that!'.' in halls? Do you have a house sorted out for next year? No, no. oooh no. I would definitely noi like to stay in Hall. Dev is just I'm moving into new halls, to Kirkstall Brewery which has a not me. There's no communal room where we are. and I just want to massive bar! he able to make myself a cup of tea and a bacon butty when I fancy. What have you got planned for the summer? Holiday abroad Nope, don't like halls at all. I can't wait to share a house. or dodgy' job. What have you got planned for the summer? Holiday abroad or I'm staying in Leeds until July, then a month of temping. I'm dodgy job. hoping to get security at the V97, and then at Reading festival, in Dodgy summer job. I'm afraid. I need to find £200 by this Friday. I'm between all that I'm hoping to go to Australia for a few weeks. horribly in debt and the bank is going to take everything. So it's Three months with your parents or a summer in Leeds? definitely a job for me. Name: Craig Silcock Let's just say I'm taking Barnsley football team to Australia, now Name: Stuart Moss. Institution: Leeds they're in the Premier League. Three months with your parents or a summer in Leeds? Institution: Leeds I'm staying at home as it's cheaper, and the best people in the world How's the revision going? University Metropolitan University live in Southport Course: Environmental Not had any yet. I had a couple of mocks a few weeks ago and passed them all without revising, so not much to worry about Course: Tourism How's the revision going? Management I haven't got my first one until next Friday, hut I'm mil sure 1 need to there. Management. sit them because I'm changing courses and starting all over again. I'm Home Area: Southport What do you have planned for the lazy days of June? Home Area: Barnsley. Staying in Leeds till my contract runs out. then a bit of tempinn. a going to try m pass them, but I don't think I have to. University Hall: University Hall: Sugarwell What do you have planned for the lazy days of June? Devonshire Hall bit of clubbing, you know . generally having a good time. Work, and going out with mates from home. Your first year is almost over. Will life ever be the same Flats Your first year is almost over. Will life ever be the same again? again? My first year is almost over, but I've got my first year again next year. I imagine it's going to be pretty similar when I come back in It would scare the shit out of me to come back to the second year, so September. I might try and work a few evenings and go out less 1 I'm lookiim forward to starting all over anain. I just hope it's better out need to make a concerted effort to cut the budget, actually go of hall. shopping rather than getting take outs all the time. That's the only difference really, just calming down on the old spending. years of university life. Nine so the screaming anti-climax that choose to perform over the Then again, control over your housemate is a friend till months on. it appears that time is the summer job follows the summer, doesn't quite compare to diet, house parties, and not Christmas, and not for life), the has had every reason to fly. "The first year "Hopefully I'll be what has cone before listening to the bastard thought of not hav ing to queue t's weir best lime ever." "I can't believe going on holiday, but so far it's downstairs playing Iron Maiden for three hours lor the simple I'm doing this." "Beer fun beer just the dodgy job I'm afraid." "•"THINK I'm going ti at lour in the morning are more human right of making a phone love." "Cider pi//as bar hangover "I'm going to be temping for a 44) II have to work a lot than reassuring thoughts to the call. The list is endless it's all over skint." In a bored moment, it couple of months." I harder next year." outgoing Some students find the shouldn't be too .^L-When we last spoke prospect of leav ing the hard to take to them, the six were also sheltered cloisters of hall a already. It's those word- ime flies when you concerned about work, s hangover follows tep they aren't and and while first \ prepared to take. gone really rearrange exams are still a major pub crawl, so summer Others see the chance them to are strapping traffic concern, the thought of lo make their own create a the second year is far more mess in their own space quickly, and description of cones to exhaust pipe daunting. The prospect of lob follows first year away from the prving eyes, \niir first year entering a new academic phase, ears, anil probably close now we Of course, the inclusion of "Dodgy summer job. I'm afraid. I where phrases such as 'maturity first year Add to that the prospect circuit camera ol the hall warden 'skint' is fairly indicative. Last need to find €200 by this Friday." and responsibility.' 'this gas bill of not hav ing to share a bathroom as an infinitely preferable option. time we spoke to them, our first Strangely, packing peanuts for is overdue.' and "eoursework with an entire floor, of not having "I'm looking forward to moving can't be years were all concerned about peanuts, standing on the wrong counts to your degree now, you to live in close proximity with out . because in halls it feels like the money situation, and a change side of the bar. scraping the know," hang over your head in an people you'd like to slow ly a battery farm. Once you've made irresponsible in fortune has literally not giblets from the inside of the ominous manner, can be a disembowel with the dubiously friends, it's nice lo settle down materialised. And just as the chicken paste machine or worry ing prospect as you hand washed cutlery from the hall somewhere else." Life ends at hangover follows the pub crawl. whatever fragrant lask vou back vour hall kevs. canteen (although give it time - a nineteen'.' Don't vou believe it... anymore' Pick five words to describe your first year. Name: Karoline Slavicka Expensive, fun. tiring, loud, enjoyable. Institution: Leeds Metropolitan What do you think you have achieved during the last nine University months? I've become more independent and got the hang of handing essays in Course: Cultural Studies on time, which I've never done before in my life! Home Area: Czech Republic- Have you met the other half of your dreams in halls? University' Hall: Woodhouse Flats No. Definitely not. Do you have a house sorted out for next year? Yes. a very nice one. Six of us are moving into Headingley Avenue. and it's nice but expensive. It'll be good to be close to the pubs. Are you looking forward to moving out, or would you rather stay Pick five words to describe your first year. in halls? Beer, work, fun, beer. love. I'm looking forward to it because it will be a lot more personal. In What do you think you have achieved during the last nine months? halls it feels like a battery farm. Once you've made friends it's nice to I've met lots of people from all over the country. And passing my course. settle down somewhere else. Have you met the other half of your dreams in halls? What have you got planned for the summer? Holiday abroad or Krm no. not at all. I have lots of male friends, so 1 don't feel 1 need a boyfriend. dodgy job? Do \ on have a house sorted out for next year? Staying here and working at William Hill's. Nightmare! Well, not I'm not sure what I'm going to do next year I'm looking fora fiat of my own... at really, but it's been very stressful so far. Later on I'll be looking for a least I'm thinking of looking. package holiday with my sister. Are you looking forward to moving out, or would you rather stay in halls? Name: Joanne Davis Three months with your parents or a summer in Leeds? I'd rather find my own flat. Hall is ok hut not brilliant. Institution: Leeds Metropolitan I wouldn't mind going home but I need to make money. But it would What have you got planned for the summer? Holiday abroad or dodgy job. be nice to be pamper up alter. I'm going to the C/.ech Republic with friends, and then I'm going from there to University How's the revision going? Bulgaria to meet up with my mum and my cousins. I'm not bothering genii; Course: Literature and History I haven't got any exams. Our tutors believe in storing long-term not summer job. Home Area: Derby cramming short-term. We ; i through the whole course and Three months with your parents or a summer in Leeds? University Hall: Kirkstall Brewery they've been fine. I've only got one left. Staying .11 home in London with my mum and my brother. I don't think I'll be Flats What do you have planned for the la/y days of June? spending any time in Leeds. Work. We're going on a big night out when my friends gel home but How's the revision going? then I'll he staying here with my sister, who's at Leeds 1,'niv I haven't got any exams. It's all eoursework. Your first year is almost over. Will life e\er be the same again? What do you have planned for the la/.y days of June? It's weird that it's over already. It's gone really quickly and now I'll be at home in London, going oul with friends. The usual stuff. we can't be irresponsible anymore. I've settled into student life and Your first year is almost over. Will life ever be the same again? made good friends, and I'm glad I came to university after not being 1 hope next year will be better from the point of view of the course. We just don't know what we're doing at the moment. •s'trvraf 16 LEEDS STUDENT Friday October 4, 1996 Write in to Leeds Student Personals, PO Box 157, Leeds University Union, Leeds, LS1 1UH. Alternatively, hand your message don't oaf mad, aet oerso to the porters at LUU CRAZY! I long to gaze into your eyes Appleton , psychology department on 233 and kiss those tender rose lips that send 5741 or email: PERSONALS ARE FREE sparks of excitement to my penis. Lots Katha @ psychology.leeds.ac.uk it of snuggles, X. Claw Feet. Please come back and pluck my Simply write a message below & hand it to the porters at LUU or post If you are a cow and would rather be grey hairs and clean my ears. Love Ladle to get personal, Leeds Student, LUU, PO Box 157, Leeds, LSI 1UH milked by hand, move to Cornwall. Stuns. NIGHTLINE LISTENING By 'EC' it's grand! But it lacks extra Matt, let's get naked again sometime, the vehicular activity: but not for long. rude One. 4 bottles of Pils and 2 double vodkas for Faisal, our mutual acquaintance let us know NIGHTLINE INFO LINE £5.00. Mon-Thursday at Strawbs Bar. where you are. A pity you snubbed him. (Doubles £1.10 every evening) There are some matters that deserve to be 3 bottles of alcoholic lemonade and 2 taken from a private arena to a public one. 8PM - SAM double vodkas for £5. Monday to you, as usual will disagree - Fade. Thursday at Strawberryfields Bar. Car For Sale - B reg. popular Ford (Doubles £1.10 every evening) Fiesta. 10.5 months MOT, 4 months road Hey Darcie, get that rubber and tax, radio & sunroof, in very good successful? "Go on squeeze again that's leather on and I'll chip yer botty like condition. £550 Ring sarah on 230 2907. fine, oh good, good!" The listeners worry you desire. Palpated Belly, Juicy eggs send us about you. Dear Funky Bunch, Best of luck in all salmonella. In Summer, apricots love indian Helen, cheers for the beers, enjoy salsa, soul your exams - thinking of you, as always, vindaloo everyday. This is true, believe it! & sexy men. love from S xxxx alleles cry 'boo!'. Zippy, you daman! Set 3 course meal - special price £6.50 Happy Birthday Blossom, lots of love, Dr. Dan, you can operate on me anytime! at Strawberryfields bistro. Guess Who?? Scooby, cheers for everything, catch you 1 xPJ. H GFLC ME KKAD ME Feller, I might look good in a tux, but what round as el presidente -love LSR. YUIYFCC QFD SFDD ME would you be wearing? Dave, when do we get to see the 1 st lady in E.C. will I always have to keep admiring Happy birthday Chicken, best wishes TVMWEYL. LXSK Cunningham, take the piss allyou want. But their underwear? Bless! from afar? you know who I am. put me cockroach. Another Customary Block. Angry at least I don't look like a snooker bail with Amy. and we all thought you were so oui of my misery and look my way. From To my International Stud, you sometimes negotiation drives Jupiter ever sedulous stubble. wholesome! ?xxx moan and groan ( and not just in the library under Stev'e's lethargic ostriches. Very LSR United, you poor excuse for a team. Huw. hope the hot cinema date went well!! Faisal. I hope we will meet again. I leave toilets!), you cat my month's supply of enclosed splurge, yet oddly unseen Last Sunday, you were the Wolves of Nils - the hard man of rock, provider of pils, you with a final ohsevation - it's easy Smash in one go, and you confuse me by perhaps, Bye. Weetwood ta love! enough to become your enemy, the trick is setting all my clocks to the right time, but Travelling abroad? Anybody wanting to Kathryn - 13th Century Princess-we met at A big. big hand to everyone who sweated to remain \ouiseli Cypher. I'd he lost without you, especially in my big share costs of the rabies vaccine, please ring the wrong time. Still, come round sometime over all 60 pages - and exams too! Good Mr Spice says thanks to his kicking posse bed! Love you always, from the President of Jen on 27X 43X2 (evens). and I can do housework in my gardening luck everyone and I'm sorry for putting you for four great spice of life shows. Bop! the S.W. fan club. P.S. I think you're well Luke Skywalker, where's the Irish gear. through it. I owe you all. Bop.' We will be back, ruder, funkier, fit' passion you promised me? I want to play Last ROCSOC rock night of the year on ' (probably not) funnier, and smoother Hans Solo, thank you for introducing me with Mr.Floppy!!! Love Princess Lea. I6lh June. 9pm-Harvey Milk Bar. than freshly Immac'ed legs. I'd know! to the ewoks. You were very forceful. I F:\tensive qualitative research has revealed Please he careful, the weather has been Brunette in red slinky number who was at hope there's no dark side to our that Mat Straw, the one with the criminal quite terrible...is swollen and may burst any the tourism and hospitality hall at the relationship. Love Princess Lea. record, actually likes lycra! minute. (From Lady Flora of Manderlees) armouries. I watched you on the lloor when Stephen Colhson - hmm. nice legs! DO YOU DRINK LOTS OF SOFT TO: if I said you had a beautiful body would you slipped but you didn't sec me. you are William, pleased to see you on Monday DRINKS? VOLUNTEERS ARE you hold it against me?! ny Spice eirl I ihink your name is Sian. night with your tackle out! S.A.N.S NEEDED FOR A NUTRITION STUDY. To Flora, do you wear all your mum's old Hospitality hunk, yr 4. Dearest Foxy Darcie. 1 am missing you like RECRUTING NOW. Contact Katherine clothes? Wax your search for underwear LYL/LEEDS STUDENT COMPETITION End of Exams Garden Party on STUDENTS! FRETLESS Thursday 5th June @. the • DISCOUNT RATES - STUDIO Faversham. With Ian Ossia, Muzik Mag DJs, Live| CVs, DISSERTATIONS, WORD PROCESSING etc Hip Hop PA + Cookin' Mo Jazz. 16 track Digital Carribean barbeque in aid of Doctor Work Carried out By Appointment to meet Barnardos. Leeds Student have 10 your deadlines recording. Massive tickets to this event. 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Cliff Mount, Woodhouse, Leeds, LS6 2HP THE CARDIGAN CENTRE:- FOR RELIEF FROM TROUBLESOME DEADLINES GIRLS ABOUT TOWN AU PAIR AGENCY 011 0405 145-149 CARDIGAN ROAD. 0113 275 9282 15 MAXIM ROAD, LONDON, N21 1EY inside: Professor Richard Lacey, science 18-19 Friday May 23, 199T "SIMON JEFFERY Marrakech Express NE aftermxin in late 1987 Antonio Mosquette. the Ochairman of the Spanish association for the blind, died after tailing down a lift shaft. The police. deciding it was an "accident". chose not to investigate. Others had Ihen doubts. As head ol ONCF (the association's Spanish initials) Mosquette had revolutionised the charity's finances with a hugely successful national lottery. He then invested the profits on the Madrid stock market, bought 25 per cent of a national television station and made a lot more money For this reason, and many more still, the Spanish lotteries make our own look like a village raffle. El Gordo, the annual Christmas state draw, collects around £9(X) million - equivaJent to £28 from every •> • • * * ^ adult Spaniard - but that's not it. • '•'•3 From the daily Bonolotto. : :* I.oteria Primitiva and Loteria Nacional to the f Spanish. They, in general, excel in ALM trees were still open and the temperature inside and (he all those areas of life your parents flashed past my oranges thai can be found all beautiful geometric patterns warned you against. And when over Morocco were still are supposed to locus and you're gambling why not smoke.' Pwindow as I being squee/ed (o make ihe stimulate the mind w bile Cigarettes are a national landed at Marrakech, most delicious fresh orange worshipping. obsession. Tobacco machines arc Morocco, in the early juice I'd ever tasted. The All (he wi/iAv I markets i in more proliferous than lottery sellers evening. Marrakech is atmosphere seemed electric. Marrakech centre around the and only outnumbered by actual the city had conic aliv e to do main square. Djema AI'Fn.i. smokers. This species can be found not actually the business, ui eat and drink where jugglers, dancers and trauel puffing away over caffeine shots or. capital of the country and to gossip, all in the cool food sellers gather at night i)ii occasions, sen ing you in a (Rabat is), hut the of (he nighl. From my lo enlcrlam (he crowds. bank. balcony high abov e the I from the orange juice camel. They're actually very in lh.il it is such a diverse city is probably the bad-tempered creatures, country, from the souks in As laras I know Non Smoking best known Moroccan street, (he noises of the speciality, there are stalls Day has ne\ er caught on. there are make horrible noises and the north, the land changes few health awareness campaigns destination. slick their black tongues out to the High Atlas mountain and no one worries about lung The heat hit me as I at you. Riding camels is not range which lies across ihe cancer. After too long in the stepped out of the plane, Camel-riding through the the most comfortable middle of Morocco. Tiny Francois! wilderness the Spanish as it I had walked into a experience, especially for v illages perch on barren have embraced American dreams furnace-, and tall men in six hours at a time - I mountain sides and v alley s, like no one since the British - and desert has got to be one recommend very thick Hooded with green crops turbans and blue robes cushions and several pairs ol and apple blossom, contrast that has included their good oF pushed forward to meet Yankee fags. of the most romantic of trousers lo reduce the numb w iih ihe snow -capped peaks Advertising hoardings for the their Arabic-chattering hum effect! in the sky. leading US brands make much of wives and crowds of Hav ing said all thai, It is a stunning region hut their supposed wild west children. all travel experiences camel-riding through the again, very different from ruggedness. Marlboro Man. you I had arrived to spend 10 deserl has goi to be one of the desert in the south, may mistakenly believe, actually days travelling round trailers and the wails of the selling caramelised peanuts. the most romantic travel where the Blue Men of the lives in Spain - that is until you Morocco, hopefully for as mosques floated up. Moroccan sweetmeats and experiences. Hmpty sand Sahara (the Berber people i meet one of his many siesta- little money as possible and detached from the actual unleavened bread. stretches out all around as sciape a liv ing in the harsh slacking devotees. y el still lake home a feel for scenes below. Restaurants lit by far as the eye can see as you. climate from small plots The final installment of this the country. Arriving in the 1 had not really known candlelight with benches your camel and your camel sunoundmg oases. trinity of evil is, of course, booze. midst ot Marrakech at i hat Morocco was such an lined up on the pavements to driv er plod slow ly onwards. 'Phis div ersily is what Statistics show the Spanish are the midnight, it was the noise \rabic country. The religion serve in/inc. a kind of meat The silence seems hard to makes Morocco such an second hardest drinkers in hurope and the smells that made the is Islam, the language is stew with vegetables and break - a good time to exciting country - savour the after the French, consuming 12 strongest impression - I can Arabic and the lood is often an egg on top which is contemplate the meaning ol atmosphere, admire ihe litres of pure alcohol each year per still imagine il now. Middlc-Fasiern too - the mopped up w ith w ami. fresh life, w bile scanning the mouniains. love the people, head compared to something like i so late, people were architecture is also arahic. bread hori/on for the next oasis I adore the orange juice... and work oin ihe meaning of seven tor the British. still on the streets, the souks •re y ou go. you can Zagora w .is my ne\l didn't manage to figure il It may seem a lot but well, let's see the ty pical geometric destination. An oasis tow n. out though, the skin rubbed face it. what else is there to do tiled patterns on ceilings, il stands on the edge ol the raw on my thighs can'tf vtwhen you don't win the big one? ., w alls and floors; ihe cool northern Sahara and from have helped... tiles succeed in lowering the here on in v ou irav el bv Morocco is unusual Out/oo/c VERYONE of us has eaten vast amounts Eof the agent causing BSE. That's a fact. HOW NOW Unfortunately, it's one of very few facts we can be certain of. Although the infection enters the body many years before the final illness, typically between five and 30 years, the progress of the disease, once symptoms are felt, is usually measured in months. The first symptoms involve mental changes, problems with coordination of movement and confusion. GPs often suspect strokes or brain tumours, but the patient MAD COW? continues to deteriorate and will loose the ability to walk and become Mad Cow Disease: the accident waiting to happen. ALEX KIBBLE talks incontinent. By now the doctors will see brain abnormalities to Leeds University BSE expert Richard Lacey about pork sausages, with X-ray tests and analysis of brain waves. The tests will have .science^ beef stroganoff and the fate of a nation. Pictures by SARAH DAVIS excluded any treatable ILENCED and daughter a beef burger. Sorry except the brain came from example, and it may well be veal". folks, bad news I'm afraid. Forget injecting extracts from various spread by doctors using infected At present, there's no hope of repressed, if McD's. Burger King. Wendy's, parts of the cows into mice. What surgical instruments as a test for CJD in humans until a there's one man beef Whiskas for your cat. In fact, they forgot to say was the sterilisation won't kill it". person has started showing S forget beef. The government have particular strain of mouse they Officially, the death toll to the symptoms, the main problem is happy to see a new been lying: funny that. used was not vulnerable to the human form of BSE stands at 18. that the infectious agent doesn't government it's Prof Lacey explains. "It's disease. Silly mistake. However, the government are still provoke an immune response. Richard Lacey, a Leeds ridiculous to think that infectivity A famous non-beefeater. Prof refusing to say that they're sure With no production of antibodies University is restricted to a few organs. And l.acc\ stopped eating beef in that BSE is the same thing as there's nothing to identify. how can cattle under 30 months 19X9. when he realised things CJD. the human equivalent of the There's no DNA in the particle so microhiologist. be BSE free ^ ^ disease. Prof you can't test for that either" you form of a progressive bruin He was first to warn of when Lacev knows can't cultivate it. you can't even disease with the the potential threats experiments otherwise see it". horrendous prospects for associated with feeding have shown Forget McDonald's, Burger •Tin 99 pet- Prof Lace\ finds it hard to find the patient and their cows with cows to increase that a mother cent certain words to describe the families. can pass il to King, Wendy's, beef Whiskas that BSE is (e\(governments efforts to Towards the end of the milk production back in the her call. The the same control the crisis "Essentially illness the patient has lost mid 80's. He was ignored. government for your cat. In fact forget thing as CJD. they put the interests of consciousness, often having He stepped forward and think we're The changes themselves and the farming several fits, and will be offered advice once BSE all stupid. beef... the regime is corrupt seen in the industry before the interests of doubly incontinent became too widespread to they think brains of the consumer. The most desperate Mind,deaf and speechless. deny. He was ignored. And the public these patients thing was that they tried to use it Brain death is inevitable believes them that infection were getting out of control. And are identical to those seen in to manipulate public opinion now when he tells the jumps from inside the skull of he paints a bleak picture of the cattle suffering from BSE. We've against the EU, they used it for and life support systems government to stop making are withdrawn. one animal to the brain of next 20 years "It's guesswork, but shown that if blood is taken from their own political advantage No one has actually false reassurances to the another. Their reassurances are I see the numbers of human infected cattle and injected into which is absolutely outrageous", isolated or even seen the British public, guess what? ludicrous." victims rising to anything other animals the animal goes on he continues "the regime is infectious agent that causes He's ignored. In fact, the government and between thousands and millions". to develop BSE. and research was corrupt, scientists are so insecure BSE, although quite a lot is You can be forgiven if you've it's team of crooked scientists he goes on "There are other published in 1994, and then they need the research money known about how it been tucking into your Big Macs were rather clever on this score. worrying ways it can spread apart suppressed indicating that people ultimately from the government. spreads and does its content with the vision of the Their proof of the lack of from bovine sources, from a dying of CJD were more likely to They are cowardly scientists damage, and we do know agriculture minister feeding his infectivity in all cattle organs pregnant woman to her baby for have been frequent eaters of bullied by a that it is not a bacteria or a virus. It is a protein, known as a prion, which gains access to the DNA of the host to make more of itself. T the height of Robin Cook can undo the British beef was banned in Despite reforms of damage caused in the last school dinners and in the beef crisis, a supermarkets across the country. feeding practices, the few years of Conservative incidence of BSE in cattle Swedish Then, the rest of the European A rule. is continuing to rise. This diplomat was Union started banning it. The suggests the disease is overheard to remark However. Britain's xenophobic wing of the Tor\ passing from adult to A Major behaviour during the last \ear party accepted that British offspring and is here to ominously of Britain's or so of Major's regime must schools and supermarkets could ban beef, but took extreme stay. Despite government obstructionism within rank as some of the worst : reassurances, BSE is in the foreign policy ever conducted exception to the P rench and the EU that, 'this Germans stopping the import of human food chain; the would be remembered'. by the Foreign Office. results of which we are not The political background to British beef. likely to see for decades. Hopefully the advent of the beef crisis was both petty and I'nfortimateh this fringe If we don't act, not only new Labour brooms at the farcical. The health minister group more or less decided will farming wither, but so blunder foreign policy in the last Foreign Office will sweep Stephen Dorrell admitted in almost certainly will the What were the Foreign Office playing at during away any bad feeling parliament that there was a deca\ ing months of Tory rule. As population of Britain. possible risk to public health a result, the government BSE. It could be vou. the Beef crisis? BARRY McKERNAN examines j amongst Britain's from beef This had the effect of vindictively obstructed all European neighbours. European debates. Alex Kibble, the nadir of Britain's international diplomacy / scaring quite a lew people, both Time will tell whether here and abroad. Their attitude w as staggering. V Britain was demanding that beef Out/ooJc 9 Apocalypse DOUGLAS HOGG: RICHARD LACEY: "British beef can be "We are still hearing eaten with confidence. falsely reassuring We don't take risks with statements from the UK public health, so all cattle government that there is over 30 months will be no risk from eating British destroyed. It is a prudent beef. They are plainly and balanced response." ludicrous." "Public health is my priority. "Mad person disease I believe we now have may be epidemic around conditions to ensure British the turn of the beef is the safest in the millennium." world." "If any living creatures are •I**- "The steps taken by the grossly overcrowded and government rest on forced to sleep in their sound science. It remains own excrement, infection our objective to take is inevitable. Imagine science as our best Auschwitz. Well that's guide." what it's like for farm animals." 'There is no scientific evidence of any risk from "The British government beef. We are relentless in has at all stages our policy to keep beef concealed facts and safe." corrupted evidence." PAGEONE Keeping you in touch without NO MONTHLY BILLS EVER FREE CONNECTION coiTupt government." negligence be proved is only it requires the genetic material of NO CONTRACTS As for the question ol £8.000". As the disease spreads. the host. Lacey estimates half of compensation to the families of the cost of compensation to both the population may be immune. NATIONAL COVERAGE CJD victims. Prof Lacey is victims and tanners is beyond Maybe. currently supporting several cases speculation. Mad cow disease has told us «T% of UK PopMUrtfon through the courts. "It's manifest We must learn from this whole that intensive farming is far from negligence on the part of the sorry state of affairs A diseased satisfactory. Spare a thought for government. The impact of a nation and a diseased democratic the chickens, pigs and cattle, they person with a dementing illness process. Not too many reasons to have spread their suffering to the for a year before their inevitable be cheerful, but one slightly human'population. This kind of death is huge. Unfortunately the reassuring fact is that as the revenge is the only way they can maximum compensation should infective agent contains no DNA, ever be heard. from £39. whose safely \\as questionable the perceived 'traditional continued to he sold to the rest of enemies' was not. Europe. In addition, action such It was war. according to the as culling contaminated cattle Dnih Muil and its right wing would only be taken until the ban contemporaries. For several available! was lifted. months, the agenda was set by a Interestingly, the Americans handful of reactionary Tories and had banned Brilish beef ten years right wing allies in the press before, when the possibility of Of course, this attitude didn't luu newsagen widespread BSE in the British last very long. Major came home herd reared its head. from the Florence summit The American ban was declaring war and claiming illustrated for many when victory. Damien Hirst couldn't place his Several months later, it was 'cows in formaldehyde' on clear he'd had to capitulate to the exhibition in the US. because concerns of annoyed F.uropean customs wouldn't let them in the partners. country. Thankfully the Eurosceptic PAGEONE However whilst the American power has waned since then and ban was acceptable to the beet tripe is no longer on the MEAT WITH DISASTER: xenophobes, the ban imposed by menu. then PM made a meal of OFFICIAL SPONSORS OF THE 1997 LEEDS UNIVERSITIES GRADUATION BALL start here GEMS POLISH 'EM OFF THE REFEREE EMMA'S GEMMA SMITH MARK BOND GEMS have GEMMA'S GEMS . BOND BLITZERS Gbeaten off all the competition to Player Points Player Points become Total Football Cup Walker 0 James -1 Champions. Powell -2 Bjornebye -1 They battled it out Dicks 0 Dicks 0 with Bond Blitzers in Walsh -1 Unsworth 0 Liverpool fan Gemma doubly the final of the Total happy. Campbell -1 Campbell -1 Football Cup during the Conversely, Mark Bond had Viera 0 Curcic 0 final week of the a couple of weak links in his Redknapp 2 Emerson 0 Premiership season. team. David James conceded Poborsky 0 Gayle 1 Victorious manageress crucial goals and Sasa Curcic. currently out of favour at Solskjaer 3 Solskjaer 3 Gemma Smith walks away Ferdinand 8 Booth 0 with the top prize of a case Aston Villa, did not even play. Ferdinand and the rest of the Matteo 0 Ehiogu 6 of Calder's Cream Ale, Gems have given Gemma the courtesy of Carslberg- opportunity to try Calder's Total TF Cup Final Points : 18 Tetley. Cream Ale for herself. It Total TF Cup Final Points : 7 Her side triumphed thanks to combines the best of three decisive scores from different ales; the mellow matches was paramount. Newcastle's Les Ferdinand and characteristics of an ale. the Despite only entering Total Liverpool's Jamie Redknapp. cooling refreshment of a lager Football on a whim. Gemma, a This must have made and the smoothness of stout, all first time entrant in one pint. has beaten many die-hard The final as with all the fantasy football followers. other rounds was decided upon Gemma who anounced that she by calculating who scored the will be "sharing the beers with LES FERDINAND: most points from a particular my friends," was delighted to makes the week's Premiership matches. hear that she had won. difference and Therefore in common with "It's great, wonderful and proves to be other cup competitions, week fantastic, and I never thought Player of the Week in week out consistency was I'd be in with a chance of for the Gems not required, although an winning." increased effort during cup The R-ft-rtf - Kofi Olu'iH'-Djun \ (Dnisrdh) - Malt Roper & MexGubbayJ Total Football Cup and Calders Cream Ale - a winning combination c: 11 Fighting talk from Lennox Lewis on the eve of his world title showdown PLUS: Pete Postlethwaite interview and all the latest news and sport PICK UP A FREE COPY IN YOUR NEAREST STUDENTS' UNION, AVAILABLE JUNE 6 STU D E lsiT LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23, 1997 21 Michael it Donovan ison OVER THE NUTTY 150M Who will he crowned PROFESSOR "AND finally tonight, the Coventry City and fastest man on Earth? England striker Darren Huckerby has signed for WHEN Frankie Fredericks NAME Canada's greatest Liverpool in a transfer deal believed to be worth crossed the line in the 19% sportsman today. No, it's not around £34 million." Olympic 200 metres final, he Paul Pesehisolido. Or Alain was so far behind Michael Robidoux. Say "Cliff Ridiculous? Mayhe. But Interview by Johnson that his time of 19.68 Thorburn" and you'll get according to self- Chris Straw seconds, the third fastest thrown out. It's actually a 29- confessed 'football nut' Dr performance ever, looked like year-old of Jamaican origin may get a bigger he had turned right and headed Mho is both a double Olympic Bill Gerrard. of the Leeds Business School. not weighting than the other. out to lane eight to give Johnson and double world champion, Whereas clubs used to put value a start with two world records to boot impossible. mainly on learn performance, On thai historic day, Johnson Donovan Bailey turned in the Dr Gerrard's 'fun today clubs arc moving more set a standard unparalleled by any performance of his life in Atlanta prediction' is based on towards a financial objective. An athlete in the sport. Until Atlanta, last August to take the 100m research he has carried out in extreme case of this is at Spurs. Johnson had never quite fulfilled Olympic gold, beating off a host the field of football where Alan Sugar clearly sees Ins god-given potential. Needless of great sprinters including Ato the club as a business and places to say that afterwards, no-one had Boldon and Frankie Fredericks. economics, an area which has been devoid of any real little value on team performance ever seen such a freakish display As all Olympic sprint champions other than in terms of what it of brilliance. Fredericks was are. he was dubbed the fastest professional interest. Studies have been carried out does lor generating profit." quoted as saying: "I think when man in the world. So once this fooihall club Michael ran il).d(> that was into the demand for football and crowd attendance at matches, hut model had been established. Dr incredible. But 1 doubt we can Speed (icrrard tried to find out what even get close to 19.32," what gave I >r (ierrard the idea to The Canadian has the kind of try his hand at tackling the actually determines the level of Frightening pace of which Damon Hill can question of forecasting transfer transfer fees. Together with his only dream, achieving the fastest lees'.1 colleague Steve Dobson. they The Dallas bom sprinter speed ever reached by a human "Well, two reasons really put togelhei a database of 1,350 transteis of British players that clocked a speed of 24 mph in that being, measured officially at 27.1 one. I'm a football nut, and two. final KXI metres straight and duly mph. Add to this his world this urea lias become an industry had taken place between English A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH? Football doctor Gerrard uses pronounced that "no one else can records for the KXIm. set in largely ignored by economists, clubs from I WO to IW6. Their ••economic models to assess the state of our national game run 24 mph." Whilst it is beyond Atlanta, and the 50m. and you certainly in the UK. My findings? doubt that Bailey clocked a faster have an athlete who is not only at background is as an industrial "Transfer lees have been rationality in some recent 2(XXI" laughs Dr C'.errard. "1 had speed, it is still a fact that the top of his form but also on top economist and 1 believe in rising at about 20 per cent a year transfer tees - John Hartson for to base the figure for Huckerby Johnson's 24mph lasted for a of the world. applying that to find out over the last si\ years, but that's £5m. for example. on assumptions about his longer duration. Bearing in mind No-one can be sure how his ultimately just what is going on not out of line with what's been "Our final model had over 70 number of league appearances the title for 'The World's Fastest opponent will cope over this out there." happening elsewhere in the variables in il which explains just and goals over the next four Man' is decided over 150 metres, distance, since Johnson relies lootball industry - gate prices over SO pei cent of the seasons, (he number of the extra 50 metres will be as most on the explosive Crazy have been going up by 14 per systematic variation of transfer international caps he wins and decisive to Johnson's cause as il acceleration he generates over the cent per year and you've got lees What that means is that the type of club that buys him. will be detrimental to Bailey's. last 50 of a 200m race. And it's The signing of Alan Shearer larger TV revenues on top of clubs are being very systematic This «ave a valuation of around Johnson's success has as much not as if Johnson is used to for £15 million, which surprised that." in comparing players and £34 million in August 2(XX). to do with rhythm as technique. pressure. His total domination of many people including Dr But why are price increases deciding fees accordingly. If they though a move this summer and whilst the bulky frame of both the 2tX) and 4(X) metres has (ierrard. gave him his motivation so high in football in comparison weren't, we wouldn't he able to would probably involve a fee of Bailey is perfectly suited for 100 meant that his only real challenge tor this particular line of research to the rate of inflation in other model it statistically." about C4 million. Although these metres, he will find it difficult to in recent times, as Roger Black - to find out if the transfer market sectors of the economy? are not cra/y numbers, but they come to terms with his opponent's has to concede, has been some is era/y as the media would have "Football's a high-growth Risky are just fun predictions and speed over relatively longer Japanese chap called Seiko us believe. "So I set out to industry now. In 1985-6 therefore highly risky." distances. 'Timing. How will Johnson react discover if there is a logic", says attendances hit a post-war low "Unbelievable as it may For Dr Gerrard. an instantly The staccato-stepping Johnson when he finds Bailey, who Dr (ierrard. "and having but they've been rising ever seem, transfer lees are actually likeable Scot, the next few also claims that his time would matches him for height, weight analysed the Shearer fee. it didn't since. International tournaments very predictable. Hanson's fee months will see exciting have been quicker had he not and age, asking all kinds of surprise me at all." such as Italia 90 or Euro 96 have will have paid for itself if he- developments in the Business stumbled off the Mocks. Indeed, questions of him as they come off His first task was to set up a got people into the game and helps West Ham stay up. thereby School. His research will be he completed the second 100 the bend and into the final framework within which the despite there being more live ensuring against the loss of going into Europe, and he hopes, metres, timed at 9.2 seconds, with straight'.' transfer market operates, and in football on TV. the number of revenue that a drop from the final approval permitting, to run a slightly tweaked hamstring. It is doing so designed a people attending matches is Premiership would bring about." a 10-credit module next year frightening to contemplate how Godsend mathematical model of how going up and up." But is Darren Huckerby dealing with the economics of last Johnson could go when he clubs are run. "The two So. football as an industry is really worth t34 million'.' "No, football. Judging by the passion "The Mean Machine", as does run the perfect race. objectives of a football club are booming. But making sense (hat's based on a 'fun prediction" with which lie talks about the Bailey is known, clearly holds all team performance and club from what appears to he chaos which I made for the /) Life in the fast and slow lanes for driver on the bike. AST cars and But the sport is all about fast women, teamwork and as the Interview by passenger. David is just as HK king is dead. Long questionable is why their club luxurious Alex Gubbay live the king. You felt unable to tell the England homes on the capable of controlling the boss that (hey would be machine as the driver despite what? Eric Cantona Fflashiest European has retired from unavailable until this week. at Leeds Metropolitan "At the time, the authorities being nowhere near the Tfootball, he is not dead. He had Hoddle has said that this coastlines and being University. were trying to get rid of us. so brakes or the throttle. a mediocre season and has could be the end of the players' constantly hounded So instead of champagne in we agreed to race for free, and Through dramatic movement decided to hang up his boots World Cup hopes. They cannot the pits and a mansion in the response was breathtaking. and seemingly impossible and tackle a ne\v challenge. be surprised. No player can pick by both fans and Monaco. David's life revolves O\er 250,000 turned up to acrobatics, he moves his body .luninho's slip of the tongue and choose their international media hungry for a around a pint in the Oak and a watch us. and they had to lock weight around the back of the after last weekend's FA Cup appearances. The players find the piece of the action. house in Hyde Park. out more people than actually car to maximise the grip on the right tyres at the right final, when he said he was energy to go on lucrative end-of- This is the glamorous "It is very weird going from turned up for the other events. interested in replacing season tours to far-flung the glamour of race day on the The streets were lined with fans time. Cantona at United, was the countries, so the\ can find the life of motor racing stars, circuit to a stuffy lecture theatre and we felt like celebrities." "Obviously body strength first hint the public had that energy to travel to Old Trafford or so the popular in university." he concedes. is the key in my position." change was afoot. Cantona had lor an international friendly. stereotype would have us "Combining a degree with UE to the abundance suy s David, "so I do all my threatened to retire after the racing and training to be a of genuine home- training in the gymnasium, OBACCO advertising believe. Kung Fu Kick and Alex David Home's story chartered surveyor can be D grown talent in the with particular work on my Ferguson flew out to France to will be banned from sport, the European sidecar forearms. Normally. I spend however is somewhat difficult. I often end up doing HTsuade him to stay. It is Tsporting events in the niv academic work on the mo\e championship is actually two hours there four nights a jnlikely Ferguson would not future, comes the proclamation different. David, currently or on the train - 1 remember a considered inferior to the week. I also do some lave been able to persuade this week from our new competing with teammate few weeks ago preparing an British version. Given this cardiovascular work, be it i im again, if he had really government. Ian Guy in the Britis.11h1 important presentation on the perverse situation, on which either running or cycling." wanted to. The debate is long standing. and European bus in to university. I still got competition will David It is feasible that United Tobacco firms are not allow ed Sidecar 63 percent though!" realised that they simply did to advertise on television, yet Championships. London-born David. 27, has not need an ageing Cantona, sport is a high profile way of is in fact a third 131 been involved in the sport and may have realised they getting publicity for their since 1990 when he began 'Anyone who says it had got all they could out of brand names. Formula One year Building Surveying racing 250cc motorcycles. him and it was time to look for cars are draped in Marlboro Since converting to isn't dangerous is a replacement. Or they may logos. Rugby, cricket, snooker student sidecars. he has have offered him a new and umpteen other sporting enjoyed many a blatant liar' contract that they knew would tournaments are better known race victories in be unacceptable to him, and by their tobacco sponsors' this country, concentrate this season and HE outfit itself - as the they may have known that he names than their original titles, and also what does he hope to machine is known in the wanted to go out at the top. which would imply that the achieved achieve? T pits - is powered by a There is always the opinion form of branding has been a the lap "Ian and I have raced high technology 5()()cc two that Cantona left because he success. The tobacco record together for two seasons so stroke engine which can really had had enough of companies claim that they are at we're confident of success produce speeds of up to football, and does genuinely just competing for market Brands this year. Providing the whole IVOmph. Formula One believe that his future lies in share rather than encouraging Hatch team pulls together, we have a authorities have been at pains the arts. I recommend he new smokers. with his real chance of lifting the following the tragic deaths of auditions for the next Jackie But the harm caused by best European title, and can Ayrton Senna and Roland Chan film. advertising cigarettes is only performance realistically aim for a top five Rat/enberger to emphasise half the Issue. This to date a finish in the British that their sport is now as safe T-V3OR old Glenn Hoddle. announcement has long been second place at competition. Once I finish my as it ever has been. But as l-^There he is trying to expected, yet the sporting Spanish Grand degree and earn enough David himself recognises, J_ organise a team to qualify bodies affected have done little behind reigning money, obviously I would motor sport will always be for the World Cup finals in 1998 to secure their future funding. world champion like try my hand as a rider and dangerous, the speed and and his players appear to be Will the Benson & Hedges Cup Darren Dixon. in the big league. I certainly danger perhaps an integral doing everything to avoid die, and what about the Silk "That was at Jerez think I could do a good job at part of its appeal. telping him. Cup Challenge Cup? in southern Spain, the highest level." "Anyone who says it isn't They want the glory of Who decides what is where sidecars are You would think that as dangerous is a blatant liar," playing in the finals, but cannot acceptable advertising? Junk the most popular the passenger in the sidecar he admits. "The worst injury find the time to practise in the food is not good for us - will we form of motor itself, David's role would not friendlies. Robbie Fowler and soon see the end of fast food sport." he explains. be as important as that of his Steve McManaman are the latest chains advertising at football victims of mysterious injuries to grounds? Liverpool have a have withdrawn from the McDonald's in the Kop End at England side to face South Anfield. It will have to go Africa tomorrow. There is no under the new regime. doubt that Fowler does need an operation on his nose (to correct Paddle do nicely a breathing problem, not ORE dodgy cosmetic reasons, apparently), or declarations from the DISABLED by inferior that McMananman does have a Mnew government. This equipment, LUU's canoe knee injury. time, Tony Banks has announced What is his vision for UK United teams polo teams reached the to compete in the international semi Finals of the BUSA arena. competition. Sportsmen who play in this The men finished a credible country should, he thinks, be able fourth, but the women had more to compete on behalf of the success winning bronze. country. So we could soon see a Both teams reached the football team including semi-finals, but fatigue affected Gianfranco Zola. Juninlio and them, especially the men who Peter Schmeichel or a cricket lost their most crucial match in team with Tom Moody, Brian extra time to a golden goal. Lara and Wasim Akram. The women's passing game Because these plavers ripped apart the favourites • , would want to play lor Liverpool and Nottingham. England. Obviously. Nice Victories over LMUSU. m , idea in practice, hut I Newcastle and Warwick helped * think it's hack to the the men to fourth place, but they drawing hoard with were outshone by the women's thai oneTonv. ZF medal winning performance. 50 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 23, 1997 A A 9 V No. 38: Blue is the colour By Rich Leonard EVER since I first saw Chelsea at the age of seven, I've always been reluctant to TO BE WILD answer that inevitable question: who do you sidecar champion and Met student Dave support? Well, now I'm proud to say the FA Cup winners. I'll never forget where I was when that first goal went in; about I (X) yards away. As the shot sailed towards the expectant Roberts from the bcxit of the magical Di Malteo i( all came Hue. It was in. The quickest uoal ever scored at Wembley, and what a goal. After Id years of hope and silence when it came to lixithall talk. I suddenly had a licence to celebrate, as half of Wembley came alight. The game itself was drab to say the least. It had promised so much, w-ith some of the best international talent on show. It wasn't pretty, but who cares' When the second goal came Irom the unlikely source of the ever mediocre Newton, the blue cake was finallv iced. BUSA NEWS RUGBY LEAGUE WITH the trophy cabinet ovcrflowin};. M't"s rugby league club celebrated a magnificent season at lleadiui;lc\ pavilion on Saturday viith their annual I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE: Ian Guy takes the throttle while Dave Home gets his head down and hangs on and, below, back in the team garage, a slightly club dinner, writes '/.in' l-'eller. more relaxed Home gives his wheels the stamp of approval Pic: Michelle Halliday They became the first ever student team to w in a round of I have suffered is a broken Schw-ant/ a tew times, and the Silk Cut Challenge Cup neck al an amateur meeting in even been laid on a bed next to beating top amateur outfit Hemel Wales back in IW. We were him in the race injury room. Hcmpstead 2d- 12 in a well bumped off the track from Barry Shcenc often turns up to deserved v ictory. They were then behind In some beginners at the Grand Prix, and Andrew seconds away from all-time over I 30 mph. Our bike must Ridgeley's a big motor sport glory against Thatto Heath of St ha\e rotated five or six times fan. I've also met Simon and Helens, only for last minute in the air and I was sent flying Yasmin Le Bon." heartache to make the final score through one of those "One particular after-race 24-26. polystyrene marker hoards. party sticks in the mind." he They also clinched the Luckily, I only had to wear a continues. "When Michael inaugural national title at brace lor a few weeks." Doohan won the 5()0cc Bradford in a colossal encounter. championship in Australia, Cup glory then followed with O is it as exciting there was a massive pretenders to the throne actually on the track and celebration on the roof terrace Warrmgton Institute dispatched S in the hike as it appears of the paddock buildings, and in the final at Knowslcy Road. from trackside and on he was so pissed he went This ranked alongside the television'.' "Oh yes. without around introducing himself to performance against Hemel as doubt," David enthuses. everyone and congratulating the finest ol the season. "There's nothing quite like- them, when everyone knew that pure adrenalin rush you who he was anyway and Magnificent get when sitting on the starting wanted to congratulate him on grid watching the lights count winning the World Finally they completed then down. The race itself is always Championship." grand slam againsl Cardiff in the exhilarating, and the noise is "There arc lots of great Premiership final at the so deafening you can hardly characters in the paddock." beginning of this term, when the hear yourself think. I adds David with a rye smile. magnificent team spirit of Leeds remember on one particular One of the teams is sponsored overcame the brawn of the occasion being alongside by an Austrian company And you can quote me on that Welsh. another outfit and actually which produces pornography, Leeds will also have eight being pinned to the other and are represented by a lady ©ffl Wo® /°)flQ$9///J© ©ff @//f°7©fe'- interntaionals on the plane to the USA with the Great Britain sidecar while overtaking it!" called 'Dolly Buster', whose 'The worst injury I've had is a broken neck... our bike must David may not yet be up silicon-improved breasts are squad this summer. there in the glamour stakes the size of beach balls! The have rotated five or six times in the air' It has been a great season lor with the likes of Michael team's passenger is rumoured all involved at the club, whatever Schumacher and Damon Hill, to own three brothels'" level, from the coaches down to or motorbike stars Michael Maybe that popular oDD©ffl SoSs (sDosxnxsos off fiss&tog; 8&© &% $to© the players. Neil Raver, club Doohan and Kevin Schwant/. stereotype of racing drivers 'I certainly think I could do a good job at the highest level' ;aptain. has been the mastermind but that's not to say that he and their racey lifestyle isn't behind much of the success and doesn't mix with them and so tar Irom the truth after all. hopefully it will continue next other big celebrities at the big a®® fife© /£)oosfl5D©se toft©/7©©fis ®ff @ [°)®im°@[°)©aa@©im°l season. Grands Prix. 'The team's passenger is rumoured to own three brothels' "I've spoken to Kevin 51 5) °pnCol!lgMtlgyAlJI»lsyi1H^7Cc?iCo^l^l^ND) V(o) ^ GTMT LEEDS Aussies touch down for international opener THE Australian batsman Ricky Ponting confident of success. "The cricket team invaded CRICKET EXCLUSIVE Australian side has been Leeds on Tuesday, By Naveed Raja playing good Test cricket and ready to face the 'old one-day cricket for the last at Headingley in 1989 and Brendon Julian were among three or four years so we're enemy' for the first 1993 so it's been a good several players enjoying a pint going to play the Ashes series of this summer's ground for us and we hope it or two at the Majestvk in exactly the same way." continues on this tour." nightclub along with England It was left to Crompton to international clashes. Holiday Inn Accomodation They checked into the new boys Adam and Ben explain the significance of an Services manager Ann Marie Hollioake and Dean Headley. Ashes tour to the Aussies. Holiday Inn hotel for the Cheeseman was clearly Another practice followed "The players look upon the Texaco Trophy opener at delighted to be hosting the on Wednesday prompting tour of England as the Headingley. tourists. "It's an absolute Aussie tour manager Alan ultimate tour For Australian captain honour to have them here. Crompton to praise the and to a They have taken over 30 enthusiastic local fans. "There cricket buff Mark Taylor, it was a rooms for three nights and have been quite extraordinary return to a happy hunting like me, the will be back for the Test numbers of people attending Ashes tour is ground. "1 love Leeds. It match." our training sessions and that just the has always had a special After an afternoon training can only be good as it ultimate." place in my heart because I session on Tuesday, several of demonstrates the interest made my first Test hundred the squad sampled the Leeds that's being generated." here. nightlife in the evening. Mark Concentration then shifted OFF THE MARK: "We won the Test matches Waugh, Ian Healy and to the main event, with young Skipper Taylor WHO'LL PLAY CHELSEA IN THE CUP-WINNERS' CUP? TOTAL FOOTBALL ON PAGE 20k racist society anyway, I apology ever given. 1 politically correct find it totally nauseating guess it is more nonsense in the paper /irehonihiiii; encli other's e\nni notes. what's happened now. that sou think you hase appealing to your when deep down you The police have to be bolder, not 5. Nothing beats the thrill of going to a right to slam readership if son really couldn't care less \\emhlcv fora play -off final. picking off soft targets on the edge university bosses for criticise LMl bosses about who got Dear Students and ( olleagues. An\ ss as. ifWolves were good honouring your alleged rather than actually look honoured. It's a shame of the drugs problem but daring to enough to play in the Premiership they AS sou mas be aware, an accident racist when the student in the mirror. soti base spoiled it for occurred at the weekend insolsing three aim Tor the hardened offenders at would have finished second. population is the most How do you think n the members of staff I'm a Swindon fan. and the play-offs people who were all closely connected racist single group in the feels when sou lake the whose intentions were ts heart. have provided mans ups and downs, but u nil I All I. The incident occurred in cits ot Leeds. How dare 1 HI elesatortothe elearls sincere. Shame 1 wouldn't change them. Scarborough ss hen a car lell ihe road and you slam the LMU 12th Moor and nobody on sou! subsequently ended up in the sea. This .... bosses vv hen you wants to take the same l)aimv \lills resulted in one ofihe passengers beini: soursclses hase a Ku one as you'.' Most Sipho Threat of disunion . killed. il-TICIALS al 111 will Uulav begin Klux Klan attitude Caucasian students The young man ssas ihe son ot Mike l.dilor's re/il\: 1. You're uw/n;. the lliinl towards people of ivesiigalmg the idea ol disaflilialion from the would rather take the /editor's re/'ly: 'I'here Beverley, a Governor of LM1 . flic oilier team used to: 2. t'niwils luive also y>ne colour? other elevator than get was