...what's where... the News 3 International 10
Opinion 12 Feature 14
Sports 18 Classifieds 23
Entertainment 25 cord NSK 31 "The tie that binds since 1926"
VOLUME XXXVI • ISSLJI FOUR • THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 1995
WLU Student Publications
Dear Nom: Havinga time great hereFrosh Week... in Canada e #/ /?ateo( Aff&ktctfuS
..welcomes all 95-96 Laurier students
A few words... IflflfD f^S«\ "Inner City, great jam, great times." II II I La \\ ->^3) Jeremy Roenick, Chicago Black Hawks
"..the club in most - popular Ontario; the - s? . I one that has caught national attention." | rv CIO / ST
Tanya Pirez SYNERGY TV '? to *-,&/*;
"all the models love to Inner coming City. 1 , BCfiT StOr6 You play the best music all the time". imwMH O Audrey Wilson, President GEMINI Modeling Mjjjwjt J1//A11/' Drinks -S^ZT
"I can't get over how cool this place is;
is much fun!" everyone having so IttwJrotlisC Monica Deol, MUCH MUSIC; Electric Circus IfStgSjS ysports bar^/
"it's hoppin. It's one of the hottest and best clubs pupS ® I've ever been to. All the players are having a fc kK f shnntfl* time." "H great I V-.LU3 f SsSooS ■mumi Gilbert Dionne, Montreal Canadians
Welcome to the U1+imate Nightclub Experience! Inner inside -Four walls. Over -Ft. City; a city 13,000 sq. stretched
over three city blocks. Come and dance in our streets,
visit our stores, experience the city Inner Cityf Rated Canada's Theme Nightclub and Canada's only -Fully licensed indoor cityf
'Producer T' Sat. 0 -Special guest every (you'll ivincinbcr him from Km toy I08's Bivakl'ast Jam)
COVER before 10pm Fri. &? Sat. > j a HIF/tAt a| 00-DANCE til 3am Fri. & 4am Sat. [U[OBV111II
SPECIAL MENU Sat. 00-.99t on Hlfffll I lllft
*arrive early to avoid lineup & ensure admission* dance fm |W
II Water St. N., downtown Kitchener (only 15 min. from University) EM 744-CITY BlMMw
t- NiSiSS 1/2 PRICE COVER BEFORE 11PM.EXPIRES 12/95 O nightclub 1/2 PRICE COVER BEFORE 11PM.EXPIRES 12/95
II Wotu St. downtown Kltchonoi IB min. from UU M., (only University) HBI T€4-CITY UU II Hatn It. M„ downtown Kltchonoi (only IB mln. bom Dnhvaralty) Pianm744-CITY
"1 I WORLD RENOWNED WOLFF SUNBEDS a i iHlUllHUrHoa jMC builtin dual facial tanners '■ M AIR CONDITIONED I <% EDEE Til El* ■ I |f APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE | THEE I nil
0PEM 7 DflYS fl WCCK JL FREE TMIC I nnnu..n. the best beds & the best prices in k-w 1 I BERMUDA SUN q) i IfEE Ifftllw I TANNING SPA TRADE IN YOUR OLD COMPETITORS MEMBERSHIP! T7f£HM/M0S/BSTTSr7Z/V/ l ■ EXPIRES 12/95. ONLY ONE COUPON PEROJENT. NEW CLIENTS ONLY. 5 FREE TANS APPLIES WHEN A ONE YEAR MEMBERSHIP IS PURCHASED FOR ONLY $35 AND YOU PAY ONLY $3 PER TAN THEREAFTER,
NEW CLIENTS ONLY - ONE COUPON PER PERSON - 5 FREE TANS WITH THE PURCHASE OF A ONE YEAR MEMBERSHIP FOR ONLY $35 - SOME RESTRICTIONS MAY APPLY - EXPIRES 12/95 NEWS
While you were gone...
The aftermath ofEzra StreetParty as captured this summer in The Cord
"On May 11th, McCormick and
Ross withdrew their participation
and support from the disciplinary
This hearings scheduled ... came
after consulting with Patrick Flynn,
a lawyer who referred to the pro-
ceedings as "shocking non-
Canadian behaviour" and "beyond
the ridiculous."
"At the meeting of Waterloo
council on May 15th, it was decided
that the Students' Union would not
be billed for cleanup costs as it
that would be very unlikely they
could be proven"
"We've been two in . lucky years a
If row now. it happens again next
year, people will die."
"The administration and the
Students' Union have both been "Despite officials* attempts to
students looking into to prevent another suppress il> 1500 attended _ ways next The administra- the largest, wildest version of the disaster year.
— tion's are sure- animal. Ezra Street Party., .on disciplinary hearings P" Saturday Apnj.,22fKirTHeevent ly meant to be at least in part a jrViultecHrT?2 arrests, 9 criminai •>•••••••" deterrent, while the Union has Xt the of charges, and t\vo Jifo-threatening begun process providing an the end of injuries. ()fthose arrested, l&.Wfire ■ alternative venue at ... tauHerstudents." f"'' f|f exams next year."
"Tim University is durr«"tly '111
reforming {heir cede of conduct so
that are ; •... street parties explicitly pro- hlbjted"
"l£ seems instead of finding :
"Carey Sluiw, a first year student answers to why this happened peso
from IJrantpton. was suspended pie are mom concerned with who
from I -aurici* for a minimum of two should be held responsible for the
years for Ills role in the bash. , events which took place on that fate-
Originally Ih\ was arrested for a ful April night."
of breach peap violation and was subsequently (larged with causing \ "Waterloo City Councillor Joan
the\. inside of the motioned that damage to police \ McKinnon city slip
vehicle that Ux\k him the \ the WLU Students' Union a 516,7(K) away ... for allegations that be caused damage \bill the expense of the Ezra
to the police van were dropped - party."
\ ...... 'WM His suspension hiifenotbeenJlftt^A-—'
"We are ready to pursue legal
action if the decisions are not
retracted, we'll take this one all the
the McCormick way to wall,"
"This is a case of emphasizesd ...
students' rights being violated, we
can't afford not to pursue this
course. This is the purpose of the
Students' Union, it's part of our mis-
sion to protect the rights of the stu-
dents."
"The Union realizes that WLU stu-
dents are not the only people that
attended this event. In fact we esti-
mate that only around 50 % ot those
in attendance were WLU affiliated."
"... the Union (will] no longer partici-
pate in the hearings its we feel that
they olfend all principles of natural "
and fairness The Union this justice ... Tlnerh Will be no big street party challenged the right of the
University to arbitrarily punish stu- other year, next year, or any year, dents for conduct occurring off cam-
affiliated pus, and at events not or because it willbe broken up..." sanctioned by the University."
Tricia in with The Record, Siemens, Waterloo Councilor an Interview AprUl9^^s^___^-
theCord September 7,1995 3 (News)-
Stuff that's changed
From Albert to Regina Laurier looks different
TOM HRUBES leased the bottom floor of the floor will now be used by
CORD NEWS building back to the school. English, History, Political
Just in case you haven't According to Ron Depuis, Scicnce and Classics.
noticcd, changes have been director of Physical Plant and 232 King St - Career Services
made to the campus since Planning for the school, the has replaced Human
last year. Both the Student bottom floor will contain a Mr. Resources on the main floor.
Union and the Administration Sub, a Domino's and "certain The former Career Services
have been stuff of the hall". the main busy moving components dining location, on campus,
it another around so you can't find Space for vendor Ls still Ls now a staff lounge.
in Arts - anymore. Here's what's dif- available the food court. Building C wing has been
ferent: Originally Harvey's was to renovated on the 2nd and 3rd
Purple and Gold - I tuner's lease the space; however floors as well as the 2nd floor
store has moved from its according to Depuis negotions of the E wing. The renovated
location Ave. "fell the used for on University to through." Currently areas are Geography
the concourse in the Central school Ls seeking another ven- and Enviromental Studies. A
fill Teaching Building. The store dor to the space with A&W new elevator has also been
now resides in the former and Wendy's as possibilities. placed in E wing in order to
teachers lounge. The Torque room will be open give the handicapped full
Student Union Building - until the food court is complet- access to the area.
After falling 5 weeks behind ed. Peters Building - P1035/1037
schedule because of a brick- 202 Regina - This building is is now fully handicapped
layer's strike the new S.U.B. is the new home of the registrar's accessible.
nearing completion. Access office, the accounting office and King St Pedestrian Crossing -
Wilfs and the Centre student awards. Other A of was to Spot new new set lights added
will be gained on the 6th, and tenants in the building include since student traffic to 202
the rest of the building will be payroll, human resources, Regina will be increased.
accessible at the end of next ancillary services and physical 81 Lodge St - Physical Plant
week. The Turret's first night plant and planning administra- and Maintanance will now
will be Thursday the 14th (so tion. reside there.
can start Central - Alumni Hall - An you lining up now). Teaching Building expansion
Administration offices will be The 3rd floor of the C.T.B. has plan is in the procass of being
completed early the following undergone renovations after designed. Depuis says a new
week. being abandoned by the Alumni Hall will be complete
The Student Union has Psychology department. The by next year.
is Amongst the many changes on the Laurier campus this year this new stoplight, located on King Street the Laurier 232 next to building at King.
—— —
jJEp"
.^■fl
Choose one of these to order line easy ways your phone from Bell:
™ • Visit your nearest Bell Phonecentre store:
Temporary on-campus location:
Bell Phonecentre ", Student Centre, Near Bookstore
Fri. Sept. 8, Mon. Sept. 11 and Tues. 12 9:00 am - 4:00 Sept. pm.
• address: Sign up through our Internet http://www.bell.ca/campus
• Get connected by calling 310-BELL.
4 September 7, 1995 theCord -(News)
Production out there TheItork Lordof Way and his man-servantScandrew
want to the Student services you join theforces of CordProduction Staff. combined in new location
Do it now.
Simply visit the Cord offices, third floor ofthe SUB.
;Buy
Campus Court Plaza 1 One
Corner of University W. !c..k | 011D... a o nL'n* ex eSflSttlHk & Phillip St.i . vs^^. Tel: (519) 884-2221 J Fax: (519) 884-1844 i \X^V* ! •** ...Get
J One
Free! LITE'WAY hV ■■ ■ Of I equal or lesser value ROB GLOVER ■ ■ WM Registrar's office. WW MW ■ Valid until Sept. 30/95 | CORD NEWS Pauline Delion, from Student
Here's the - students this good news Awards, agreed. "Here, we don't ,^WLV. have year won't to walk all over have to keep running up and down
campus to go to the Registrar's between two floors. It's all in one I £k# Campus Court Plaza " I office, pick their student loans, location." For her department, mov- up . Corner of University W. 1 their fees or their 202 has another pay pick up pay- ing to Regina & Phillip St.
cheques. The bad news is they'll advantage, she explained, "At the We now have our liquor licence! ! !•"!"!!!"!"! have travel fair off old location 8 to a distance \232 KingStreetl we felt rax: (5191 884-1844
to student campus use services. Isolated. Here, we don't."
Starting this fall, the Registrar's I lowever, the accessibility of the
the office, Business office, Student new location remains a big issue. To
Awards, the Payroll department and get to 202 Regina students must
will all be in loca- fii-st either Admissions one cross King Street, at the
tion the floor of installed on upper the YVIIJ new lights in front of the building at 202 Regina Street. Science Building or at the intersec-
The decision to move the various tion of King and University, travel departments off campus was made downhill, cross Regina Street, and last fall. The second floor of 202 walk down another flight ofstairs to
Regina was renovated to accommo- the front entrance, then up another date the new tenants, who moved (light ofstairs to StudentServices.
into their new offices in the middle From the time the University is drier tVf//t Qy / of C~/(/esc/ay (iy/i I August. announced its plans to move the
if students Now, want to go from departments, Student Union presi-
Student Awards to the Registrar's dent Scott McCormick expressed his
have about "How office, they only to cross an concern its accessibility.
rather than to would be to there in open space, having easy it get a travel from a building on King street wheelchair on an icy day?" he across campus to the Central asked, noting that neither Lodge nor
Teaching Building. Travelling from Regina Street has any sidewalk Student Awards to the Business where the building is located. office is even easier: they are right However, he acknowledged the beside each other. need for ollice for the more space
These departments, who deal departments. "We're students. We'll with each other on a regular basis, adapt," he said.
have also extra office feel gained space. Most of the people involved
Several off employees commented on the move was justified. "It's cam- the need for larger offices. "We no pus," said Laura Gebeck from longer have to keep cardboard Admissions, "but [the Universityl is boxes full of files underneath stair- expanding and this move is neces-
wells," said Janet I leimpel from the sary."
Clip & Redeem theseValuable Coupons
" 1 v I §AT. Ti [■
theCord September 7, 1995 5 (News}-
Frosh take to the streets
Shinerama aimsfor $50 000
KATHY CAWSEY Ncr and tickets to "Tommy." Raffle
CORD NEWS tickets sold were by Frosh, and can
This 1500 frosh will also be at the Saturday, over bought concert on
be taking to the streets, parking lots, Thursday at the Coliseum and the
stations grocery stores and garage football game on Saturday. The
for Shinerama. Organizers Andrew draw will be held daring half-time of
McCartney and Kerry Dyer hopel to the football game.
raise $50 000 for Cystic Fibrosis, Shinorama began at Wilfrid
matching the largest amount WLU Ixiurier in 1964. Since then, it has
has ever raised. grown into a national tradition, with
with Ice Breakers universities the Frosh, along across country par-
and other senior students, will be ticipating. Conestoga College will be
moving beyond purely "shining" joining Laurier, with ton car washes
this While will and ten locations activities year. they shining in I continue the tradition of shining Cambridge and north Waterloo.
I shoes, glasses, car windows, and, of University of Waterloo will not be
bald will also for Shinerama this I course, heads, they raising money
return beer bottles | cany groceries, year.
The organizers are hoping for a
has had from Frosh this PICTURE Laurier always strong big push year, since Shinerama in raised support past years. the amount by Shinerama FILE has been dropping in recent years.
and wash cars. McCartney feels decreasing rev-
caused "We tried to brainstorm what enues were possibly by
would be increased restrictions the activi- Bricklayer strikes can't holdus back. things more practical," on said Andrew McCartney, one of the ties students could do.
"If used to do lot of organizers of Shinerama. some- "They a crazy
one's coming out of a grocery store things," he explained, describing
with an armload of groceries, it how students would run out into
traffic shine windows ride makes more sense to ask to cany to or tran- Be one of us. the groceries than to ask if they sit busses around their routes. In recent want their shoes sliined." years, however, organizers
restricted such Shinerama also raises money have dangerous
through the annual Shinerama raf- activities because people have been
hurt. fle. This year, prizes include a trip
for two to Montreal, a $700 Bell "We would rather raise less
Cellular than have do Dedicate time Cord Mobility phone package, a money people crazy your to News mountain bike and two package things and get killed," McCartney
trips to Toronto including hotel, din- declared.
Parking spots
\ • Full prescription service V • rltfrtnacyy All major drug plans - closer to residence Student Drug Piatt
~ • Area-wide delivery at no charge BRAD ROSS campus students (whito parking
CORD NEWS spaces) will be able to park in three (-Suarfllan Dr\ig§, • Crutches available 1 7 Over the summer, the Parking new places: lot off Bricker, lot Campus Pharmacy Ltd. Committee readjusted the parking near Bouckaert, and lot 8 at 160 University Ave., W. to (University Shops Plaza) structure so spaces are closer stu- University Stadium. Waterloo dent residences. Because of the dis- Parking permits for students will
B_B6-2420 tance from campus, blue parking be on sale from Friday Sept. 8 to _
spots in 202 Hegina have been Tuesday Sept. 19. There vvOl be 112
moved closer to the residences. Blue parking permits lor residence
Many students felt unsafe walking students available: parking spaces to their residence during late winter will be selected randomly if more l5 E 99 E 4'" nights. than 112 people apply. 156 White 12 C4l MtaopwllHtai! 110? 1Ib! C4l cJw r eDQ{f*' j ?q - Ijj? J® - qq Blue will now to will be available for 36 Exp. $9.39 HscftFtfFriMl3s ! 36 Exp. 59.99 Disc & Full Friml 35 parking spaces parking permits in lot 4 Wtiiison. in Jot 6 behind off students. Priority will be EicMtt: PrslmiiMl,FatrMic 15, Isittli Fllbi & 1 /? Fraai JSaa. Eiciuta: frotmlotf,Panoramic 35, :eitllaF!bi& 1/2 Fran 35mi. near campus toaatk« oatMWit mjaltarroM. DmaaanaatawaqiwMrliMlariMti. | Canal tt cmtni Wiauf attar pratwllat. ton* naKXMiwn orter la lit lur nlldltj. students who live Uttle House, in lot 7 near given to more tailll,IMS >fartM/to|.n Sa*ll,lM _ OflifiriMAog.a Bouckaert, and at 209 Hegina. Off than 2 km from the school,
HOURS: Mon. to Fri. 9 - 7, Sat. 10-6, Sun 12-4
The few.
The glazed. The thirsty. ■ Student owned.
Would you leave them jpiW'
alone in a bar? | | Student operated. Neither would we %:
§ 112 % |K
m' £s*s • 112'ihk'' IsHpk j|J s
's M wilf needs staff. | Get involved.
The Turret needs # M bar staff & security. i « M «^KhPl, >
(Limited spots available)
We're taking applications
th until 15 Friday, Sept. .
Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publications
Third Floor • Student Union Building
6 September 7. 7 995 theCord —{News) Bag O' Crime: Summer criminality
Enter & Theft Officers Break, responded to a report of a 0050 hrs Wed 2 Aug 95 1630 hrs Tue 22 Aug 95 2005 hrs Thu 24 Aug 95
0800 hrs Mon 24 95 individual in the of A received Jul suspicious area vehicle was stopped after two A report was of a bicycle Eight individuals were evicted from & Gold Chancellor The Purple manager report- Dr. Investigation males were observed loading items being stolen from the bike racks at the Athletic Complex. None of them
ed that unknown had bro- revealed that the individual into vehicle in the of the the Athletic person(s) was a a area Complex. No suspects. were students or had memberships the the weekend. resident ken into store over staying in I lotel No library. Investigation revealed that Harassing Phone Calls & for the facility. revealed that the cul- further Investigation action required. the individuals were contractors Personation Trespass
had entered the store forc- prit(s) by Engage in Prohibited Activity who were loading their own tools 1330 hrs Wed 23 Aug 95 2305 hrs Wed 30 Aug 95
the door and had stolen a 2200 hrs Mon 3 I 95 into the vehiclc. further action A student that A ing quan- Jul No WLU reported she male individual was issued a tres-
of fax machine and cloth- An individual was to had been tele- tity rings, spoken regard- required. receiving harassing pass warning after he was found in
merchandise. Total value of roller blading inside Mischief calls and that callers had the Student Union ing typo ing university phone Building con- items stolen is $13 000. A issued. appros. buildings. warning was 620 hrs Wed 2 Aug 95 obtained her name and number struction site.
Waterloo Regional Police Trespassing A resident of Bricker Residence from the Internet. Investigation LI_A Violation
Identification Unit attended dust 2340 hrs Mon 31 95 to Jul reported that he had observed three revealed that another WLU student 1300 hrs Thu 31 Aug 95
for The matter is under Two non affiliated males males and The fingerprints. university kicking stomping on a was responsible. matter is A YVIIJ student was transported to and a number of possi- were evicted from the investigation tennis courts. bicycle on Bricker Ave. The, matter being dealt with through the Dean the KW Detox Centre after he had
ble leads are followed. Neither had Athletic being an Complex Ls under investigation. of Students' ofTice. attended Health Services. No fur-
Theft under $5000 (Bicycle) membership. Tresspass 0 hrs Thu 24 Aug 95 ther action taken.
1340 hrs Mon 24 Jul 95 Trespass Issued 2005 95 Warning hrs Mon 21 Aug Two vehicles were damaged as a Theft underssooo
A WIU student reported the theft of 2335 hrs Tue I 95 A Aug number of males were observed result of a large tree falling onto 0215 hrs Mon 4 Sep 95
his from the racks between A bicycle male individual was evicted from on the field the lot at University parking #6. Tree removal con- A VVI IJ student reported the theft of and the Peters the library Building. WLU after his Stadium. Hie individuals were iden- tractors contacted to property driving were remove a 16' extension ladder from an
No suspects. at a rate of in tified motorcycle high speed and warned off the field. No the tree. The owner's were able to Orientation Committee member's
Person lot #3. further action diive their Suspicious required. vehicles away. vehicle. No suspects. 2145 hrs Mon 3 I Jul 95 Persons Suspicious Theft under $5000 Trespass
The Cord needs The Cord you. wants you. You will write for The Cord.
Thank you.
| Get Your Homework Done j in Half the Time! j pgr j
' jjjjjji I jjgl "'kZsl' ? ! IPC 5755e CD/FX9S-575! (S) j
• Intel 75MHz Pentium ■ processor k -
• Intel ■ 75MHz Pentium • V / IBJB I processor BMB 256k cache - -* 11/1" XHS RAM, .
• BMB RAM, 256k cache • PCI Local bus architecture
" m • PCI Local bus architecture 30 DAY • Double speed CD ROM I 1 *112")^ g • %: Ijt* jg|i v=s£ « "' bbb Intel Pentium processor ■ . , • - ! r "\ • card woiuey back » 16-bitsound 16-bit sound card ll& l» •BMB ram, 256k cache | i - \ iifEHif
» • Dual Dual ! I amplified speakers guarantee amplified speakers "111 »!■ READY ! ouadZSScdSEi""
' . 112 • 14.4 Satisfaction 14.4 Voice/Fax/Modem I If * «EmBSTS _ Voice/Fax/Modem . -pill .i6-bit sound card ™ * ' i a m l • Internet StarterKit pli ed e ' ers I Internet Starter Kit S»». y fm % J5 - £ J? 5 ' • 530M8 hard drive • 530M8 hard drive high speed I high speed i|||i |gfj m • Internet Starter Kit
* • 530M8 ' ewm " "hin 3.5" high drive hard drive ■ •3 5" you ca" w density floppy ' T| i> """S'/j' high speed high density floppv drive imwiik" 1"T ■ •1MB PCI SVGA video card oJ I -IMB PC, SVGA video card |H 1 SM -i fordetail,- .MS Mouse and mouse pad — MS Mouse and mousepad •MS Mouse and mouse pad • Windows 95 * Windows 95 pre-loaded pre-loaded .• WindowsWinHnunC 01 „„ 95 • pre-loaded »» »<. Nine popularsoftware packages • I Nine popular software - packages' Three year parts & labour warranty 'Three yearparts & labour warranty * • ■ Three labour | First on-site service* .- - & \ year .c- ~ •* year parts warranty J 1 * First „ * „ ■ year on-site service* ' • Monitor included *•*. •*. * not * First year on-site service* ' not * Monitor included . .. ■. ■ , . . ' °n/ °r nc — CD/FX9S-575 lki« Bt W|
Pentium ' 1 IPC CD/FX9S systems includes nine popular software titles: '"sMHz'processor V • Micosoft Encarta 95 • Golf • Works • • 1 ■1 prOCSSSOrS B Dangerous Creatures Money • ■ Ca L M • B. I» B Scenes' • Pack' •CD and . Entertainment • Vol. M ,__ J Y Sampler /.ef's Learn 1 V * & m OdSGO rLS dt Scenes Entertainment Pack are preloaded on the hard drive JH \ B I "«««"<' E°^?s-590 I PSa | Ijut9i g| I 90MHz I ■ prices. processor 1 1 you do with a PC $ easier 1 — ■ I 1
architecturedeliversfaster ■_ y __ — _
| Wjl •I j |k& tT I :( ' 9 100MHz Jl processor |
rhe user-interface ki»T>l jLtjU!iZj, ~ IE llil redesigned makes PPPCOMB. If ITSB^SjV 1 il/PXQ'S-Alftft 112 I te'liflj hIM" computing even more automatic, andplug-and-play NewS LOCAL BUS /"f | IDX4 100 j COMPUTERS BaglMfeMl I sss HOWSTAMARD [ft| |
fc£S3u3tSllEH[2a of Waterloo | University Computer Store 1
Building, U of W Campus If■■ jl ISST , Blaster card, amplified speakers, , » 1 I *"'" microphone, and lifIBl'JI seven Microsoft |: ■■ JBH ng| WATERLOO I ! Dual Kit
Double speed CD ROM, 16-bit Sound | « BF" JB ifißWB|. ,^SS@6
* microphone, and seven WordPerfect M
MainStreet titles. 1" - (Works, WWiB ■■ ■■ infoCentral, WMzZA. WLjjBP B Grammatik, ■■ ■■ WallobeeJack, ClipArt, Home Dictionary, andPaper Airplane)
Intel Inside and Logo Pentiumare trademarksol Intel The IPC is a trademarkot 3D Windows95 and the Windows are trademarks ol Microsoft All registered Corporation. logo Microcomputers. logo Corp. prices are cash discounted.System notnecessarily as shown. Monitor not covered by on-sitewarranty (monitor on-siteoption available) fl On-Siteservice is not availablein all areas of Canada.Prices and withoutnotice. •Q.A.C. LThe configuration subject to change based on 36 month first and last in advanceand 5% term, a buyback.
______
theCord September 7, 1995 7 (News}
Oh, those crazy buskers
STINSON SCOTT PICTURES.
Above: The Waterloo Busker Carnival hit town from August 24-27. These audience partici- found themselves busker pants part of Alex Elixer s wacky trick.
That same busker to Right: attempts get up on a participant-supported tightrope. No, he
does not receive a salary of any sort to do this.
l( OH/ V(OM MH MHI
MOHtk 1 MoH k«ve faM TV. )M(t tall H©o-+wjsoj before October l*tk| woWrc Uvtytunq. ' R#GERS / • UU11 WOW11 ,_ , Cablesystems "Taxes not included. tTMN-The Movie Network, MOVIEPIX and the U.S. Superstations. 8 Sep!ember 7, 1995 theCord -(News) Infighting at CKWR Community radio station members hold protest demonstration SELENE MACLEOD positions. CORD NEWS All but one of the staff members have been laid off have due to the On Friday, August 25, programmers, members, or resigned working con- and supporters of CKWR, Waterloo's communi- ditions. Ray Dupuis, the remaining staff mem- for the radio sta- ty-access radio station, staged a peaceful ber, is now responsible running demonstration outside station headquarters. tion. The Board evidently expccts that volun- The demonstration aimed to make the public teers will assume the extra responsibilities. also aware of the tensions between the current Other problems besides staffing have Board of Directors and the members at the sta- plagued the station. The main console needs to Cowan and Dan tion. CKWR is a not-for-profit station that broad- be replaced. Although Kim local to the the former Station drew casts programs K-W community. Hart, Manager, up a "It's one hell of a mess," Kim Cowan, advisor proposal for a new board, and Technical to the Board, stated in an interview prior to the Director Mike Stevens offered to install the con- the Board SI 8 demonstration. During a press conference sole, the has not yet replaced it. (XX) afternoon of August 25, Cowan said, "This is an is set aside in a fundraising account for the new incompetent Board of Directors that refuses to equipment. hand out information [or] react to the In addition to technical problems, CKWR is ... with requests of the members." having problems its programmers. Native his In a meeting held August 22, the organizers programmer Eric Gabriel withdrew mem- of the demonstration handed out a chronology bership in the spring of 1995, citing an abusive of events since November of 1994. The chronol- work situation. Most notably, some gay and les- President of the have withdrawn ogy stated Peter Tilkov (now bian programmers from fair amount of Board) changed the locks on the Station CKWR. Gay programs comprise a MACLEOD Manager's doorat the CKWR office. the station's spoken-word programming. In Tilkov December of Director made anti- was appointed Secretary in August 1995, a allegedly SELENE of 1994, despite protests from Board members. gay comments during a Board meeting. Since then, five members of the Board of In August, Tilkov canceled all contra adver- with Directors have resigned. In August, Peter Tilkov tising, and instructed Cowan to sever ties PICTURE: was elected President of the Board of Directors. the Global Community Centre, an educational Of the rest of the Board, two members were resource centre. I Ie felt the station should not be On August 25th, this protest went down outside CKWR, Waterloo's community-access elected. 'l"he other four were appointed to their associated with "activists". The Global radio station. Community Centre was not given formal notifi- cation of this and still severance, currently broadcasts "Global Talk." The membership of CKWR has been trying to force the Board to call a meeting since April, in order to nominate new members to the Board. The Board refused the members access to a current membership list, and all member- ships are subject to the approval of the Board. Kim Cowan and IJsa DiFranco, a former staff member and of the of the one organizers il have both voiced concern that It afford demonstration, help the Board to "stack" the membcrsliip you may try list. All current memberships expire in September. the life. "These people have not been fair to the necessities in not to the members, and by being fair members, they're not being fair to the listeners," Cowan commented. "We have been denied the right to make changes." "Morale is said DiFranco in very, very low," an interview the day of the CKWR demonstra- tion. "The programming is suffering, the pro- grammers are suffering, and the community as whole doesn'thave the kind of a just quality pro- gramming it would normally have...Any time free- you silence a voice, everybody loses some dom." The demonstration was scheduled to take <■ jv^^CS6SS6iiXSssßSl6S^3 .■ . :j*^^Xf^esSSß .•>/^-:v.TvTwa^v l .... - . vXgK-jBBBi^^^WWWmfg?S9Sßfi9mKcy^'':' place between 9 am and midnight on August 25. At 8:45, police arrived at the station. In order to avoid being shut down, programmers compro- mised. No members were allowed inside the station before midnight. No on-air programmers allowed to the demon- were say anything about allowed stration. On-air programmers were into the before station 10 minutes air time, to pre- pare for their shows. Nevertheless, community support for the demoastration The received was strong. station hundreds of faxes, e-mail and letters of support. Furthermore, the situation received national media attention. "It feels like what we set out [to dol has, in fact, been done," DiFranco commented in a fol- II double cheese is it's time discovered the becoming a major expense, perhaps you advantages low-up interview. of banking with Scotiabank. Scotia the that Banking Advantage" is only plan gives you a daily interest chequing account, a 1 ScotiaCard™ card and Classic card* all tor no also offer Student banking a VISA fee. We Scotia Want * a Loans with all educational the school Job? to help you your expenses throughout year. And while all this won't make it'll least under you rich, at keep your pepperoni cravings control. So into Scotiabank branch lor full details call 1-SOO-9-SCOTIA. drop any or We're hiring. Scotiabank % The Cord, third floor of the SUB * ® Registered Trade-mark of The Bank of Nova Scotia. TM Trade-mark of The Bank of Nova Scotia, t The Bank of Nova Scotia licensee of mark. Subject to credit approval. theCord September 7,1995 9 (News>- Relatively speaking... Be it resolved extended families are useless into "relative" Andrew when he as a storm. One of TOM HRUBES insight this whole University!" for my cousin tropica] my I to that he worried that cried when she CORD NEWS deal. While can never hope "Well my son just graduated explained was grandmothers saw them from School and he hasn't wet didn't like beer. "1 don't know me for the first time The first impression my cousin guess what makes tick, 1 can High we (1 usually only that blind and Andrew had of me was that 1 was hazard a few observations. Relatives his bed since he was 7!" how we could have gotten a10ng..." get on dates) the " off the do when The who hasn't his bed he said. of cousins had other made kiss her the "kind of scan as I stepped strange things they get guy wet Only one my me on and cheek of Grandmothers plane at the airport and onto the together. They live for discussing since he was 7 wins (it is pretty a bad attitude, but he's only 15 (kind gross). wield the of merciless- tarmac of the Czech International obscure friends and relatives that impressive). Next time 1 will be more in the middle of his teenage angst, weapon guilt for and to need to remind Airport. After enduring a 10 hour they haven't talked to in decades. prepared and know what to expect so he can be forgiven being a ly seem with hour The reviews also be how old are. One of flight complete a one jerk. rave can everyone they second liked to add delay and a child who managed to extended to cousins. my grandmothers "Well son and the Aunts and Uncles - kind of like "...still it doesn't matter because I'm scream ciy for entire flight my just in the best frame of on acid. some to die soon" onto sen- 1 was hardly your parents They're going every from of tence. Still have mind to meet our "extended" fami- graduated High soil of bizairc copy your parents. they one big upside. rela- This is true if have You to see ly. Up until this summer my especially they get your parents squirm that kids. are nice and on the hook of A tives were a nameless entity School and he hasn'twet his Still, they usually parental authority. hard time since existed only in letters 1 never read don't give you a gratifying experience. don't have authority I can offer no comments on and pictures I never looked at. My bed since he was 7!" they really any 1 would like to as both of mine parents had both visited our rela- over you. especially grandfathers passed thank uncle Ivan without, whose a time However, tives on separate vacations, but this my away long ago. I from extended skills we would still be from what I did see of relatives was the first time, our whole family Small details of peoples lives are my family: navigational my Czech did the Andrew Cousins - the best relatives. the went. vigorously exchanged and nothing is easily driving through country- enjoy experience. he will visit Canada lor the next 3 weeks I was too trivial. Children are paraded like Mine are all close to my age so side. (my cousin) says Grandmothers - the scariest of 1 look forward to at dragged around from place to place show ponies and achievements are bonding wasn't a problem. soon, waiting when beer Is involved. 1 relatives. are as morbid as the the and even from country to country. compared: Especially They airport. 6 o'clock and Over this period I began to gain "My son just graduated from had nothing but the deepest respect news as unpredictable CAWSEY and even I hell out of the adults with Aunts and uncles, KATHY pose. Like doing your "duty" to your birthday presents though our pierc- great-aunts of few and and first-cousins- - if know of them. was the CORD NEWS parents or your employer even hardly some ing screams one great-uncles, all of could once-rcmoved (whatever that - Cousins the most us Personally, 1 think extended families we don't call it that anymore are glaring things enjoy. "small-talk" of this 1 have Second cousins more means) arc the ultimate should go the way of the dinosaur, makes sense, because those rela- example circumstance. are even of the world. They know the dodo bird, and the two-and-a- tionships are important. But how six first cousins, three on each side. senseless. Oh, they provide a good champions honest, if them if - but about me, J know half-kids-and-a-dog nuclear fantasy. important are extended families? To be perfectly 1 met place to stay you're travelling nothing nothing tend school we'd be to be best about them, and hence the weather Hxtended families are an unnec- People to depend on friends, at likely never again, you're expected is hailed Some from the the the social net as an engaging topic. essary hangover "duty" era government or of I love (and, better of It's to these and not the extended my great-aunts Victorian ism. your "duty" days, hell out of the much - but then kisses from In extended yet, like) very accept sloppy your family. my experience, ...annoying there the who fed it's to listen to "1 families exist to make was one us aunts, your "duty" only Kaster the adults with our sandwiches. walked ten miles to school uphill Christmas and a still', phoney piercing tongue other- I have no problem with extended both ways" stones from your uncles. "be polite, now!" time, and little few families - if only we could treat It's your "duty" to pretend to be nice wise serve very purpose. screams was one ofthe them like fiiends. Because, lets face to cousins You will be now that I your even though they thinking by of extended it, don't go and visit friends you probably wouldn't know you existed hate all my family, far things all ofus could enjoy. you don't like. But extended families arc if school. It's from it - some of them I like. they went to your your quite different from friends - "duty" to collect endless pho- What 1 object to is the fact that 1 am something and do have to visit them, tographs of pasted-on smiles to put forced to like these people. 1 have you go and "love" friends with them from the first sec- and be to them, in piles of pictures that no one gets no choice. I must spend time with friends, although we likely wouldn't polite choose do hate each other cither. sister and ond walk in the door. And them - even when don't like around to putting in albums no one them whether I to so or My you they, you of forced to time them. looks I must talk with them even I have numerous holi- course, arc spend at anyways. not ... spent family instead of all the And what's the point? Not that there's anything wrong when we have nothing in common days playing "murder in the dark" amusing you doing would rather be with - when it serves a I send them Christmas cards with them, because the doing. duty pur- ... must annoying things they Funfilled adventure that leave alone. just won't you We Buy • Sell • Rent • Trade • Repair Third floor of the SUB building. I\ I&& I 1 <&&& && e ° Play the Next Level! »r you *«„.< |(|s| G a^f|eie^ m k ,'fffrTrade' Used Games for "Cash! M'i'Wil © *P» 888-7900 . call IIAVfIQR ' Rent for 1 Night TPreeßental witfe * F^l£lVi^ gef2fttfNigMFlSEE!: New Memtietilfp! ■ mil couponjw - Oflirnpini Oo 31, HIS avw-Ofleiniirtio«.3l, IMS In wW »«i «rottw cflir e^ §j 1 X««oUftjAnrotfufofftf. a I ( rrip-t RT ffigffrtifnfjf l33WeberS 'reelN | t 10 September 7, 1995 theCord INTERNATIONAL Around the world in 7 days 'Hie arms, was used the on a flight lo finally banned on August 21st of this year. by Pope Switzerland in 1984. South Korean Sun procedure was revealed this past summer ... evangelist Myung Moon what have when check sent recently performed may a malfunctioning security without detonators from Fduard Shevardnadze, leader of the been the world's largest mass wedding. explosives on a flight ... in the of and former Soviet foreign More than 35 000 couples exchanged vows Amsterdam to Orlando, Florida, lug- Republic Georgia whom of minister under Mikhail Gorbachev, declared in Seoul's Olympic Stadium, many of gage an unsuspecting professor. last week that he will run for president in the had met for the first time shortly before the November elections. Shevardnadze Worldwide, another 325 000 fol- A 40-year-old Detroit man bound the hands country's ceremony. ... with duct and survived assassination late last lowers of Moon were simultaneously mar- and feet on his girlfriend tape an attempt saw month in Tiblisi, ried via satellite by the Korean cult leader. then went after her with an electric Georgia's capital, suffering and and bruises when his before setting himself on fire. Neighbours only cuts car exploded. Stressed out in America's nev- the woman's two heard an explo- ... jurors daughters real life the 0. the and chased the The trial of South Koreans held erending soap opera, J. sion in garage, burning ... twenty-five earned the dubious dis- down the with blankets. for that Simpson trial, have man street They responsible country's deadly depart- able his but store last week in Seoul. tinction of becoming the longest serving were to put out burning clothes, ment collapse began died The collapsed in killing 501 sequestered jury in U. S. legal history. Judge he later at the scene. building June, ofthe victims are A of Kashmiri Islamic militants Lance Ito informed the jurors of their people. Relatives demanding ... group tourist and "achievement" when reached 227 of $18 000 the on an airline punishment for the defendants, who beheaded a Norwegian dumped they Day ... was selling price heavy last The scat used Paul which include most of the store s executives. him in the Himalayan Mountains month. their sequestration recently. previous once by Pope John 11, Shoddy of Switzerland. The construction has been blamed for the 1 lans Christian ()stro was oik- of five Western record was set during the trial Charles was sold by public auction in tragedy. in decorated with the coat of tourists captured by Indian rebels early Manson in the early 19705. white seat, papal naked his July, and his body, lying next to skull, was found a 15 000 Rwandan Hutu were decapitated by peasant ... refugees Nuclear abroad firewood. The Kashmirian from in Zaire woman gathering expelled camps eastern by protesters rebels have been lighting for freedom from Zairian troops last week. The llutus fled 1989. Rwanda last alter the seizure of Indian rule since year bloody power by the rival Tutsi tribe, and have since A Canadian mountain clumber was among been afraid to return home, fearing reprisals ... the for of thosereported dead after an avalanche on the genocide by Hutu troops approxi- world's second highest mountain, K2. Calgary mately 500 000 Rwandans. native Jell" Lakes was pail of an expedition up the last month led the son Movie Elizabeth and her sev- Himalayan peak by ... legend Taylor the first enth of Sir Hdmund Hillary, man to reach husband, construction worker Larry climbers have the summit of Mount Rverest. Fellow Fortensky, agreed to a dial separation buried lakes on the mountain, which is con- after four years of marriage. Taylor met sidered the monst dangerous and unstable Fortensky at the Betty Ford clinic in 1988, mountain in the whole Himalayan range. where both were being treated for alco- holism, and the two were married at Michael Alter one week in a Charleston, South Jackson's ranch in 1991. ... only Carolina military academy, 20-year-old Shannon Faulkner called it a decision Dutch in quits, ... police routinely planted explosives HENSEI her male at the school with peers greeted passengers' luggage to test airline/airport and bonis. Faulkner of cheers honking car spent security, a Ministry Justice spokesman for the to become the revealed last month The 1 The 2 years fighting right late in lague. MARION first female cadet in the school's 152-year his- tests were started atter the tory, but threw in the towel after her family PtCTURE; home was vandalized and she received death explosion of Pan Am 103 over Lockerbie, threats. Scotland, in 1988, but were I Flat rate long distance! Now call all areas shown on this you can map for only r/r^Q\ Cw/\u nfr J§ and with reverse calling ™ friends call too! your can you, 1 er month m m P O mj* your house? J™, - > • j- \Nortnßsy_ / i, ®8 Si \ Plus applicable taxes. Oriliuh W ] Vidiand L. L r~l. — Some restrictions appty. \ r C&lfawwpod */ri J ) \ \ 1 J 1W Kelowna. ( • Tell us vour iiflfc / ALL CITIES SHOWN INCLUDE THEIR SURROUNDING LOCAL CALLING AREAS cf/\mnc blAjllCb* > l^o arines Contact Flat Rate rsJ woodrt^k^'" " stV Gregory Roach, Sales, . /samia London 6 Days/ Evenings/ Weekends International Cord < Gc mi ]Chatham> faOflClOll * to distance service and save! -Windsor ® Overlap existing long really _ • Next day service available I CICCOIII Canada's Flat Rate Long Distance Network Since 1988 fIH Network theCord September 7, 1995 11 OPINION Editorial the The street party that won't go away than cord Hzra. More just a street name. For those of us affiliated with the I that word has much. It's of dinner community, come to mean so part our lingo word when understood now, a that, uttered. Is only really by people who arc involved with Wilfrid Laurier University. You don't to say "Hzra Avenue" or "the big bash on Hzra", just plain "Hzra" will do. Hveryone around here knows exactly what you're talking about. It's like the rest of the world is with the word "HlvLs". While to students the has some memory of parties on Hzra come to mean severe punishment, to most it still just means a big ol' piss-up. This could change in the coming days. Soon, your Students' Union will be deciding whether or not they will take the laurier administration to court to determine once and for all if the school has the right to discipline students for behaviour ofT-campus. Potentially, that decision has major ramifications; for Laurier and for students across the A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication country. The Lssuc is a simple one: should a university have the right to punish a student who's behaviour in a non-affiliat- 75 Universily Avenue West, Waterloo. Ontario, N2L 3C5 ed, non-sanctioned, off-campus event has damaged the university's reputation? (519) 884-2990 To be honest, I can see both sidesof the issue. Hzra happens, and the school sees its reputation in the community Fax: 884-5596 (519) take a serious beating. So to save face, they lay a beating of their own on those students who were caught doing Advertising: (519) 884-5092 wrong by the police. They did what they felt they could. On the other students to watch their behaviour 24 hours wherever hand, are supposed a day, they may be, lest they harm the precious reputation of their school? God, I hope not. "Two Star starfighters against a Destroyer?" That's where the Students' Union comes in. They exist to protect the rights of all students, and it certainly appears — Still skeptical X-Wing pilot as if the rights ofsome students have been compromised. They are doing what they feel they have to in order to fufill "The Strikes Back" Empire their purpose. Well, they are hoping to, anyway. Hie plan all along had been to challenge the adminiastration right to the bitter end on this one. Scott McCormick has said that the Union would "take this all the the1 wall." The Board of Directors allocated in their one way to money Editorial Board budget to cover the anticipated legal fees. All signs pointed to a long and drawn-out battle between the Union and the Editor-in-Chief Scott Stinson administration. News Editor Kathy Cawsey However, the past month has seen a little softening in the Union's stance. The administration lias refused to back Associate News Editor Tom Hrubes into down and has forced the Union's hand. Seems they aren't quite as eager to jump court, as they seemed to be a Entertainment Editor Melanie Seal of couple months ago. While the of Assistant Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter It's good to sec that they are thinking (Ms through. theStudents' Union does have to protect rights stu- Sports Editor Pete Robinson dents, they also have to be responsible with student money. Legal costs for a long court battle would obviously be sub- stantial. If the for a decision that favours the students be there's a case be Assistant Sports Editor Libbi Hood potential court turns out to slim, good to made for spending the elsewhere. Features Editors Amanda Dowling money I I sit 1 hope they go for it. While can here all day and mull over the pros and cons of taking the Issue to court, David Popovich it. 1 Ave. 22nd. I remember always come back to the same reason why I hope they go for was on Hzra on April watch- Production Manager Jeremy Kerr 1 what ing beer bottles (ly through the air like swarming locusts. remember being very angry at was happening, knowing that the students had predicted it would happen if the school refused to help control it. Hveryone knew there Cord Staff was potential for trouble, and the students of this school were the only people to try taking proactive measures. After Production Assistants Megan Barnard the shit hit the fan, everyone pointed die finger at the students rather than take some of the blame themselves. Classified Coordinator Vacant 'ITiat was bullshit then, and its bullshit now. Circulation and Filing Vacant Damn near student at this school thinks that the administration has acted unfairly. I low students Copy Editor Ameena Ahsan every many International Coordinator Lilian Schaer have you talked to that are pissed off? if have elected be the of the students of That's why the Union should take it to court they to. They are to voice laurier. The students would battle it it will Yes, there is a fair chance the courts will rule Student Publications Staff want to out. Yes, cost money. that the administration actually does have the right to discipline students for olf-campus behaviour. Nobody said it Photo Manager Marion Hensel would be Photo Technician PhillKinzinger easy. of 'Hie further comment the state of their discussions with Art Director Andrew White As press time, WLUSU executive were offering no on Systems Administrator Chris Chinganda the administration regarding Hzra. The matter is currently being discussed by both the administration's and the Public Relations Vacant Union's will find what their will be. Manager lawyers. We soon out next move Tracev Bowers Advertising Manager Go for it. Be the voice. Ad Sales Representatives Rob Hornick Dave Arland Editorial by Scott Stinson, Editor-in-Chief The in this editorial are those the author, and do not necessarily those the Cord the editorial Ad Production Manager Dave Kerth opinions expressed of reflect of Staff, Student ftiblications. board, or Wilfrid Laurier University Ad Production Assistants Vacant Vacant Vacant Treasurer Jamie Hill Got a gripe? Board ofDirectors President Susan Barry Directors Karen Bula Harvey Garman Steve Groenveld A beef? David Janzen Laurie Legault Shayne Lidkea Cord will not thai racist, or deemed the staff The print anything is sexist, homophobic in nature, as by as a voting Just want to bitch at someone? body. The Cord will not print anything in violation of its Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cord for addresses within and $18.00 for outside the The subscription rales are $15.00 per term Canada, country. CanVVeb of Cord is printed by Printing. The Cord is a member Canadian University Press. All commentary is strict- ly the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of the Cord stall, the editorial board, or YVLU Publications. Copyright © 1994 by WI.U Student Publications. 75 University Avenue West. Waterloo, Ontario N2I. 3C5. Contributors: Rob Glover, Selene MacLeod, Rric Green. Joel Lynn, George Raptis, Brad Savage, David Janzen, Andrew Reading, Lilian Schaer. Rutlcon, Brad Ross, Dave Scott, Homer freakin' Simpson, baby. Bitch at me. Letters Policy The Cord is accepting • tellers All must be signed and submitted with the author's name, student identification number and telephone number. Letters • the Editor. All letters will be printed with the authors name, letters can be to printed without the author's name only by permission of the Editor- in-Chief. that • Letters due 1 2 noon for lvCttors must be received by 'lliesday at noon for publication in that by Monday publishing week's issue in print, on disk, or via e-mail to: 22cord@machl .wlu.ca email disk. • letters that submitted disk via e-mail must be week, via or on are on or accompa- nied by a signed hard copy. • Lettors must be typed, double spacod, and cannot exceed 500 See the Letters words. Policy. • The Cord reserves the right to edit any letter. Spelling and grammar will not be corrected. • The (]ord reserves the right to reject any letter in whole or in part, that is in violation ofexisting Q>rd policies. 12 September 7, 1995 theCord Wanted: Your Columns The Cord needs people to write weekly columns in Hie Opinion section. the Cord Offices and ask for Scoff. Come up to inWAVELCUTS I liji| WE KNOW STUDENT, gTO Willi BUDGET AND Vkdr J IXE| ADVENTURE gWACvi[y3T7 112 A JlllPl I TKAm * I We're In a Glass Clan Airfares - Domestic and Worldwide I I I WW I I ■ International Student Identity Cards Top Deck, Contiki and Exodus adventures i—i Spring Break • Cord Editor C|)py^ Ill» *ll» &■■>: ;; • %• V *-$* *-t « Special Events Editor ■ ■ • ■. _■ _ _ ¥? ««.' Keystone Plaza University Shops : • Wv: Keystone Sports Editor ,jf . ' 170 University Avenue W. • Keystone Grad Editor | I • Publ 886-0400 c Relations Manager FEATURE Welcome to life on the inside. Grab your bags and let's go. When fresh out of let's face you were High School, it, you were feeling just a little bit invincible. confident., that And Cool, .yeah, was you. for good reason Lots too. of friends, great grades, President of the Student Council, Chapter Leader of Students Against Drunk Driving, and even the recycling club. Okay not the but were there the maybe recycling club, you way up iust same.. Everything was okay -- great in fact. University? No problem. Laurier? Lemme at 'em.. The sooner the better. Get outta this city, tins town, this house. That was the feeling all summer. That was even the feeling when packing the car. It wasn't until on the 401 faster faster from you were whipping and away familiar that everything things began to sink in. It was for real this time after so months of Once the cutoff many anticipation. on you began to feel just a bit but is wee uneasy hey, this you. You can handle it. Everything will be okay. Your Dad pulls the car The long awaited arrival comes. The tough has part begun. into the park- lot and ing you see people everywhere. So much chaos that you are not yet a part of. And the people -- all with their hair coiffed, their best pair of shorts and slightly stylish t-shirts Suddenly you begin to wish you hadn't skipped your shower this morning, or chosen to wear old just any thing as invin- cible old you got ready to g°- , The uneasiness increases as is your car parked and you walk along the lawn towards the AC, a good meter of dis- tance between and you your A last walk with the 'rents. be time They'll gone by this tomorrow... parents. and will he. You ... so can visit at Thanksgiving. September 7. / 995 theCord (Feature) after all with for They are just you now of mind. You didn't their own peace them The line need to come. up You extends outside the AC. join it, your You don't know family at your heels. where to look, or how to stand, or what do with hands. Most of all to your that dressed you're wishing you had It's lust a little differently. like Grade Nine all over again. Though you hate to the admit it, confidence is gone. Every thing will be...well, you're not quite sure anymore. You and get your shoelace your key. You head back to the car and pull around closer to the residence. Next all and flocksof doors open strangers descend on your belongings, carrying them away (to your room, you hope). You enter the building and follow them. The is institutional but residence very slightly, strangely familiar. The walls are made of the same cement blocks stared for hours on end in you at High it with Laurier's First Lady. You Chatting up Lorna, School. You find your room. meet your Don. You meet your neighbours next door. One of them look iust a little nervous and that makes much better. Your confidence slides a you feel up notch realize not the one who as you to your only Name, rank and serial number. begin with this feels the way you do. Everyone else is not okay life changing event. You begin to unpack when there Is commotion in the hallway. Ice breakers tear down You that the hallway and frosh week begins. clap, you cheer, you yell. You do stupid tilings never would have dreamed of in School. the most important you doing High Suddenly thing life the colour of shirt the of in your is your ana deafening your scream. 1 loose and confidence Strangely as you your voice, vour cleanliness, your sanity, your 1300 iust You aren't cautiously comes back. There are other people feeling as you do. of freakish, funny, or alone. You are, after all, the United Colours Laurier. Yeah. This is cool. Everything will be okay. Welcome to life on the inside. The Pub 29(fc Monday Night 5-12 pm Wing Special Sunday Night Purger Peal $1.99 Morty Says "UftPtoUmeh" Weekday Lunch Specials $3.95 A time be like whole bunch of breakers (You look up to them now, but this next year, you'll just them). PICTURES BY SCOTT STINSON AND ERIC GREEN. Thursday Night 29$ Wing Special 5-10 pm corner of Fite Wreatures. for KING AND JjL UNIVERSITY /JH Ne Weed You. fkorAivi Sontpmhpr7 1995 15 DAYS= TOOTStES SAVES!! fll 4 *$T- JSI MISS BY BUSTER BROWN I TOOTSiTw>PS I S ||r~ L^§§J WMe laSKETBALL MM Quantities " 1 \ \ HERO BOOT Quantities 2 39.96 I \ ®i---'m j&HAJsik\ \ 'FREE DRAW 1 / / \ White Black I | available Me^sorte or ; ' \ — I—— W.« " out / / --- 1 no purchase necessary...Fill this ballot I ,/.... | .. . / V—• Z— \ a / You could win $250 Tootsie Gift Certificate fe&« > A€?€?y^jjfG&fi&Ol3 x v 00% -SfJtf'V^CC 4 over Pa Prices well below normal 25,000 »sJ name retail...always! rWce you, J J / \« ->n + VALUE ~..EXp~mce | I—■ ! /Jl®-»e°7 1 SERVICE —-J . _,- A [_"~ J ~ ; + QUALITY & SELECTION StT i \ \ TOOj SUTJ'Q Jacobs Cambridge Aisoin • \ : ' 611 Rd. re \ Jacobs *• ■' F3CtOfy Hespeler Brantford, | „i»«o'»'~ St. Cambridge Guelph, ,al I \ n Fr ' 9 1 y;ThU») 4-1 (Hwy. 24) Sat:B° : lun sTn: Ti }ii'J'V !V« Jl Olltlet Mall Hamilton &Ajax | 6 12-5 - 5 Waterloo (Grand Opening Event) | SPORTS The dawn of a new era around the As quarterbacks the personnel that made the "Air to officially land a scholarship. tough a experienced Warren Goldie, UofT's it for it also league. Western's Laurier" attack possible in the past. personal ordeal was him, Mike for Mario Sturino and McMaster's is not that Warmuth out of action However that to say kept game who he Kennedy are all experienced QB's the Football Hawks will be without three plus years. It is unlikely can give take of Ixiurier's both sides Laurier the level of that could advantage inexpe- some talented people on same play rience. of the ball. QB Kevin McDonald Dietrich has provided the past two year's. oil-field that C Smith, An development can only assumes the starter's role after T Jeremy Bakowsky, Dyson benefit flic 1 lawks is the return of assis- three Kubas' G Jason Vandale and G Phil White will be serving years as Golden tant coach Jon Graffi. 'Hie former apprentice. OUAA All-Star Zach the other starters on the 0-line. to the Hawk All-Canadian returns coaching Trenor will likely be McDonald's Peter 1 Iwang will continue to keep hiatus, lie the tailback. FB after a one was favourite target at the motion slot- Hawks in good shape at year in includ- Brain defensive co-ordinator the past, back position. WR Andrew Mike Kahnnert replaces graduated National and fact Kahneil will play ing the 1991 Champions Scharschmidt returns after a year Niemy, despite the the linebackers and returns to handle absence, and has been outstanding for the first time, he is a solid physical backs. who should defensive at training camp. His presence player improve every game. hole Ahmed On Special Teams there is a huge should give the Hawks a bonafide I Bs Andy Bacon and Anthony back- left Pat handled the YVR will Zmich solid in the by O'Leary. Having deep threat. Third year Brian give depth of place kicking and punting for most five McClure will likely start at the other field. DK he the1 1 lawks a huge edge in wideout position. Rookie YVH Cory Defensively, converted Gerry years, gave Luke will handle will lead the for the defence. the kicking game. Jarret Grant has turned a lot of heads dur- Smith way the and the place kicking will be and now stands He will be fourth year punting ing training camp complimented by between Kevin O'Hara and lot third David and fith NT Nick a toss up to see a of action as the DF Squina year DP, brother Tim. wideout. Banbury. NT Nelson DaCosta and O'l.nai-y's younger "One that I'm worried about Ls SB arc to see ol thing I{ntering training camp Jason Jacyno sure plenty well. the kicking game, Pat O'Leary always Chris Smits was being counted on to action as ROBINSON in Zmich said. be counted on us prety good shape," give the I lawks good production at The D-Lino will heavily kept that Luke will Defensive Co-ordinator Gary Jeffries. After acknowledging PETE the stationary slot, however a nag- by Zmich showed his The reason? The linebackers and defen- handle the punting, ging shoulder injury has flared up wit when the lack a lot of trademark assessing place- far worse than expected. Zmich sive backs, while talented, kicker "Hither we will still PICTURES: conceded that less than a experience. position. way anything game will be be in good shape because no mat- season-ending injury for Smits OLB Dan Gaza is hurt and pretty ILB's Bob Allen ter what, we'll still have an Irishman would be a bonus. "If it's popping replaced by Jason Gundy. McDonald: "New man at the helm." how and will stail in the middle, kicking for us." out running in to air, can you Shawn Crisp is to start at expect him to play?"said Zmich. whileOLB Jason Burke likely All PETE ROBINSON Unfortunately for the Hawks, Zmich the "hawkback" postion. four mem- been full- Cord Sports knows the. answer to his own rhetorical bers of that quartet have never hits time starters. Joe Douthwright and Craig Hvery September football season question. Within that the most Mellow can both and campus along with bright eyed frosh, group, guy play positions pro- is faces the vide solid cooler tempaturos and annoying Ice under the gun McDonald. I le backup. the who In the S Robbie Breaker cheers; football season has daunting task of replacing man secondary . third-year set the which future is a talent. The arrived back on campus. standard by QB's Symons great Mississauga out ofnowhere last and However that is where a lot of the will be measured. The native, native came year . Kingston became of the defence's consis- similarities end. for his part, seems to be entering the fray one most "1 the lie stands to This season is the first lime in six witli a positive; attitude. have to use tent performers, poised this the Golden Hawks will (Miter the that I learned in the three make at All-Canadian status years things years a run is the other DB schedule without the quarterback-receiv- under Bill," he said. year. CB Kenji Konno only have er combination of Bill Kubas and Stefan "Bill always got respect from every- to any significant game experience. Underbill will start at the halfback Ptaszek. The baltei-y mates that rewrote body right off the bat, hopefully my team- S Bob In the middle, virtually all of the CIAU passing and mates will look toward me for leadership spot opposite Symons. and will become will with receiving records last season are just two we successful." Gord Jopling likely start at rover that has The offensive line to be at the other of many talented players Ixiurier was supposed Chris Bedguard comer. starters ROBINSON lost last the for the team this With seven of the nine in the from year. strong point year vir- That fact is not lost on head coach and it still is. however a bout of mononu- secondary and at linebacker having PETE "I Jeffries Ls a Rick Zmich. see us being a team that cleosis suffered by Guard Paul Dietrich tually no stalling experience, cent of the time and runs will sideline him 1 Us little concerned. "We think we have passes filly per indefinitely. replace- good Smith: that holds the Hawks' defense cent of the lime, rather than ment is transfer Adam Warmuth. people, but we have little "The glue fifty per very game PICTURES of said. A factor eighty -twenty." The change in offensive VVamiuth recently endured three yeai-s experience,"he likely together." strategy is clue mostly to the absence of mental torture at Oaklahoma State trying weighing heavily on Jeffries mind is the Lady Hawks set to soar PETE ROBINSON for the National Championship." Second-year keeper Cythia Zuidervliet (ills Cord Sports McLean's optimism is born out of the fact her spot. Two out of three ain't bad. that despite having several rookies in the One factor that will help the Hawks is the At these words last I aurier still came with that all the first thought conjure up lineup year, away fact games are played on memories of Meatloaf sweating like the pig the league bronze medal. University Stadium astroturf. "It is an advan- he out the rock tune from A so therefore a better? for ns in the four we have here Is, belting popular year older, year tage games the late seventies that won't Well Melan so. because it benefits the sound just go away. certainly hopes technically It also may apply to the YVLU Women's He is counting heavily on the striker duo players most we have players like that," Soccer Team, who have qualified for the of Karen Conboy and Camilla Vejvalka to said Mclean. National two of In return- the this Championships the past pace Ixiurier offensively. addition, l.aurier opens season weekend three and last with Brock season, including winning it all in ing veterans Michelle llumann games at on Saturday, before was somewhat of a rebuild- MVP are talented home to face Waterloo 1992. Last year year's Cigi Cignini players returning on Sunday. but McLean's ing year for the women, as far as that go a long way to explaining Sunday s games are pail of a soccer double The header that the rebuilding goes it was pretty good. optimism heading into the season. sees women in action at in He class Hawks came away with third place the expects that a solid recruiting 1:00, with the men going at 3:00. a third consecutive headed Ix>rraine limmie Mclean would like to OUAA, nairowly missing up by Hodds, Hull, come away with at Kara win birth at the Nationals. This year could see Carrie Ashdown and Yates will per- least a and a tie, noting that the four is them return to the lolly perch that they occu- form well. It likely that at least two of them points that would bring, would put them in pied in 1992. will start. good shape heading into next weekend's McLean Laurier coach Barry returns to to "The sky's the limit with this team," said Goalkeeper Sonya Ritcey is the only action. both teams Mclean. head coach Barry "We are shooting starter not returning from last season. 18 September 7, 1995 theCord -(Sports) Athletics gets control of University Stadium will also benefit from the which ideas for and the of the LIBBI HOOD change come from the community, and are exactly change accompanied purchase Sports The Stadium for from the This Cord this year, as use of the gym at not University affiliated. improvement are feasible. $1 City. all arc will the current includes involvement, As of October 1, 1995, athletic University Stadium will now most Changes at the stadium itself biggest limitation be community with which work- well to and recreation facilities, including likely be free. The cost of renting still up in the air. Until the budget they arc as as renting space the of Waterloo's Athletic the University Stadium and Sports the gym last year was $30 per hour. Department of Athletics has fully ing. University for need Centre (formerly Seagram Super Circuit will also expected to taken over management of the sta- The Department of Athletics and Programs as long as they Stadium), will be managed by the be covered under the general ath- dium and have time to work Recreation will continue to uphold it. Department of Athletics and letics fee that students pay along through the transition, it is unclear the operating agreement which Recreation. The change came with their tuition. about as a result of negotiations It has not been decided whether between Ancillary Services, the cur- the athletic fee will go up for all stu- of the stadium, and dents due to this but it has rent manager change, of Athletics and been this the Department already approved year. Recreation. Any changes will be implemented of for the Rich Newbrough, Director 1996-97 academic year. Athletics and Such changes Recreation, Use of the have to be simply stated discussed for with and the reason at the change as, gym approved by "it didn't make the Advisory the Committee sense ways University on we were doing Compulsory 11 things fin previ- Stadium will Anc i ar y ous years |." Fees. The previous now most Along set-up included with the plans the Golden likely be free. to make Hawks football Super Circuit team paying a free option rent for practice time on their own for students, Newbrough hopes to the stadi- field. move program from the The Hawks also paid more um to the Athletic Complex on the money per game for the Stadium main campus, to raise the accessi- than the Waterloo Warriors football of the With the relo- bility program. and Now the two bucks that each one of these fans forks out will go to the Department of Athletics program who rent the space from cation of many of lauriers student recreation instead of Ancillary Services. Laurier. The fee based St.the AC was on a services to 202 Regina is percentage of the gate and the central to mostof hiurier s stall'and I lawks' bigger following resulted in students. Crawl Thursdays their least much The paying at twice as Super Circuit is expected to the available middle end of per game as Warriors. be by the to i The Ultimate in TOP 40 Dance Newbrough expects the situa- September and for it to be tem- tion to the Athletic located in the first improve through porarily squash & Alternative Music of Department's control University court. This could raise some con- g Stadium. However, any money cerns for the Physical Education saved through the football program department as they offer a course Fridays may be offset by the need to hire a in squash, but Newbrough main- the and tained would be N new staff for Stadium that it a temporary • Hurricane Centre, including a new manager. measure. * Previous Manager John Thompson Moving the Super Circuit and G6T BLOUUN fiUUfIV! will take over as Director of including it within the mandatory 1 October Athletics 112 would also lousing on 1. ee raise ques- Students not directly involved tions for approximately 30% of c KSCHRIS SHEPPARD'SKfI with the Department of Athletics Circuit membership holders who U Pirate Radio Esa | EVERY SATURDAY ■B .. fig&AM " , A n ladies no cover P DOWNTOWN KITCHENER FOR INFO CALL 749-1128 Cordies Needed to write for Sports. VoiceAHOn-line Come in to the Cord offices and ask for Pete or Libbi. ■651-1921 theCord September 7, 1995 19 (Sports)- Cord StaffMeeting Finest Indian Cuisine (Qrtiw g m arala Let the Wstefe 103 King Street North, Waterloo I 888-6223 I hoopla begin Daily Luncheon Buffet 1 / Tuesday to Saturday 1 I:3oam-2:3opm A/J Y ou cax hat Brunch •99 Sunday $ -j ' I with dessert 11:30am-2:30pm SCOTT STINSON On the other hand, the Tampa ALL YOC CAX HA'I | Cord Sports Bay Bucs may actually be turning Dinner a Special Buffet _ 99 The National Football League the corner to sotni-mediocrity. The with Indian dessert and Tandoori Chicken y should consider itself in Yuckaneers, while not terribly deep, all hat 1 great shape s:3opm-10:30pm Monday to Wednesday you cax handful of today. Why? Three words: no labour have assembled a game problems. With the NBA locked out breakers like Trent Dilfer, Eric fihett, Nickerson and Alvin I and MLB si ill refiling from their Hardee farper. Scrumptious Dinner Menu (No MSG's) teams and MU'ike of last the average sports They play tough close, as We Cater All Your Needs - CallFor year, 5:3Op m -10:30p m Thursday to Sunday for Party fan is in love with the NFL. They evidenced in their pummeling of the Reservations Today play games on (lie field, not in court. Seahawks on Sunday, they have a Hxdll I Willi that in mind, and with the little ofthat killer instinct, They may even that NFL season just a week old, it's time get oh-so-elusive eighth valid with other offer. I Offer valid with Student 1.D.; not any | of this burn- win. to answer some years ing questions. 3. Was Frank Reich the steal of the !. Wh ere is Deion Sanders expansion draft? going? Not so fast Reich is a fine quar- | •The most terback, and the Carolina Panthers j Bowl, All Super likely. of the teams currently bidding for should be glad to have him. the Neon one's services are, legit con- However, his talent is overrated. Yes, iendei-s (Niners, Cowboys, Dolphins, he played better than Jim Kelly in etc.) and adding him to the lineup big games for the Bills. Hell, Bay would give any of them a decided Charles could have. Give Reich a full While advantage come playoff time. season behind that porous Panther the winning team will have to clean line. He'll stop walking on water him out Fort Knox, promise in play soon enough. Can in the NFC touch on offense, and name the stadium 4. anyone 49ers? after him to get Sanders signed, the Cowboys or the there is good reason to do so. Simply Well no. Kxpect these two teams the NFC put, he takes away the opposition's to meet in championship iHvst fust for the fourth in a row. | I receiver every game, ask game year clear favourites Trov Aikman. 5. Are there any 2, Were those Week I upsets for In the AFC? real? Not like in the NFC. The Steelers No. no. and yes. The Cinci and Dolphins have to be considered Bengals should savor their victory contenders, as both teams have about months earlier that came two been close to the Super Bowl for the 0 S first than their win last year. This few seasons. However, there are a J J of make Coaches team has some talented players at bunch teams that could | Gymnastic | key spots in Jeff Blake at QB and some noise. The Browns and & & Darnay Scott and Carl Pickens at Broncos are both improved, as are with excellent communications the Patriots and | Gymnastics background | wideout, but don't expect too much. Raiders. The quality skills is You don't, recover from a 3-1 'S sea- of these teams has most fans over- ij and the abilty to relate to children of all ages ij son without sucking a little. looking the Chargers - and all they 1 and required. Day, evening weekend classes on a part-time § 'I'he St. Ixttiis Hams also looked did was get to the Big Dance last & basis. & belter last, week than fjcrhaps they year, CONTACT: | § really are. Despite giving up four 4, What would football be like in White, sacks and 300 Hell? I K-W GYMNASTICS CLUB | Reggie over it Brett Favre passing yards, they eked I'm not entirely sure, but I bet J J out a win over the. Pack, 'then again, has that whistling bomb sound effect During office hours decided in jj [j when a quality QB like Favre gift that Fox Sports has to use three team all oftheir I to 9 a.m. to 5 wraps interceptions, a highlights. Monday Friday p.m. | can pull out a victory here and 7. Am I going to out on a limb I Call: 1 go The this Bowl there. Hams won one by and pick the Super 1 743-4970 1 default. matchup? No. 20 September 7. 1995 theCord 2:30Friday in theCord offices New and improved ff COMPUTER LIQUIDATORS Athletic Complex Notebook &Laptop Sales, Rentals and is scheduled to re- The Athletic Complex pool is closed temporarily, on open September 11. inlcud- The AC also has nine pieces of now aerobic workout equipment, is located in the five bikes and (bur Some of this equipment ing steppers. IBM 386 AI&T3B6 NCR 386 LexmarH 386 workout in the comfort of court where can enjoy your squash gallery, you 4MB RUM 8 MB RAM 8MBRAM 4MB RBM air conditioning. G0 B HDD 81H8 1 tn Q00 G 8flHBfiBI3 120MBI00 4 An,™ *n,nnn Soto Faxr Modemh $849 14.4 fax Hodem $849 14.4 Fax Modem $999 Fax Modem LexmarH 388 Lexmarh 48G Compaq 48G CompurerWorHs48GS0Mhz Council 4MB ROM 4MBRRM 4MBRRM 4 MB RAM 340 MB HDD 170 MB HOD Passive Colour AinQQii tnnnoo 51033 faxriidem 51143™ FaxModem S1S99" PCHCin SB100" Fa< LexmarH Lexbook 488 SOMtiz IBM 5183 Porfatite Printer TheimalFusion Tel [SIS] 7B3-S901 '"Ictiv! Coinnr $2400" finishes 5133" fax [5191 824-2851 first year evaluation PETE ROBINSON comprehensive coaching It that Cord Sports for this season. was thought order to The Ixiurier Athletic community has this was a pressing need in the of recently undertaken measures to increase accountability communi- deal with Issues that have arisen in coaches and increase the from the cation level between coaches and past years resulting politi- cal, economic and logistical climate players. that financial crunch felt on abounds on campus. The in the One such measure was the for- campus and more specifically Athletic scuttled mation of a body called the Athletic Department, any BRihf ZT f\ Off) FF Mens & Ladies Summer funds Advisory Council. The body made effort by the AAC to allocate Shorts and Shirts of and universi- to up coaches, players lower-profile sports. that there ty stall' deal with issues concerning The Council decided 1 was not a sexual harassment prob- the athletic community at .aurier. Mens Ladies but order take The Council met several times lem in Athletics, in to Y C (Vfl F F FarWest Gore-Tex during winter term of last school a proactive stance to any potential 'j J* 3 JO made a recommen- year. The underlying Issue was the problem, they Jf I fjjf Shells and Ski-Pants that athlete financial crunch that is effecting dation every Varsity v sexual " should attend a seminar on every educational institution and flCT Yukon Fleece I their Athletic Departments across harassment awareness. 15%0FF the province. Perhaps the most disappointing The of the Council's first was most pressing concern iden- result year inade- the fact that the admin- tified by the Council was the University's istration their for quate room facilities. rejected request weight Ideally f *1 (\f\ f)fi FarWestGore«Tex the wants to the $50 (KX) in order to Council expand buy equipment # *P £ 7 Insulated Coats existing facility, however the obvious for the weight room and facilitate a downstairs in financial burden of doing that move to larger room O.G-- the A.C. The is hous- makes it a remote possiblity. room currently 255 St. N. — Other issues covered by the ing desks used during exams. King Council At included coaching evalua- The budget committee dealing University m tions, the allocation of funds to with the request felt that tills was a (BeS de C U Mill) lower and passed it along to profile spoils, training room "renovation" 884 22 66 ||||g|j| facilities with and sexual harassment. a committee dealing campus The Council agreed to adapt a renovations and expansion. theCord September 7, 1995 21 (Sports)^ OUAA Football Preview Another for the Blues will be the where the graduation of Rob Kitching and the With the football season set to start on Western Mustangs strong point anchored DF of Ted defensive front seven by Raposo, subsequent ineligibility Body mean Saturday, with the Football Hawks taking on National Tom and LB McCamus. The takes the helm. lie the a thumb- Ilipsz Barry Dyer spent previous York at University Stadium, here is Defending of of DB's Dean Turner, Brian two as a receiver, and nail sketch of the rest of the OUAA football Champions return 15 graduation years backup although 24 starters from last Dcvonish and Greg Walker raises questions 1 lead Coach Dan McNally insists he is up to teams starting with the Yeomen. year's the has wonder he team. However, included about tiie condition of Toronto'ssecondary. task, one to why was not Blues will also be playing when the Gryphs were experienc- York Yeomen in the losses are all five of last year's starting The likely very inexperi- QB rook- with before. offensive line. FB Craig Young and SB Bill enced at tailback where Scott Driscoll, a ing problems Kitching will start in of David Richer. From the other side of the ball, the The much maligned Panopolous are gone as well, but the 'Slangs ie, place removed defence total of 215 The Blues arc now two Gryphon a points Yeomen enter the season have standout QB YVarren Goldie back for his years gave up final Look for WR's Tom McConnell from their 1993 Vanier after a of last playing without Assmann and LB without a single player on season. Cup, year year and if it U of T Kevin Mellow. Mellow returns this a to have reloading as though along Only year, their roster who has won and Sandy McGregor big yeai-s, appears , with be the and with the further loss of Heron Tait and DE I that the O-Line him the help RB Western are going to teams to regular season university game. lowever gives necessary it stands a beat in the OUAA. Hugh Tharby, to reason Guelph may that the Yeomen don't have some Sean Reade could have Hec Crighton-like is not to say similar this McMaster Marauders experience problems year. talent on their roster. year. Mcllale and LB Mark WR Andre Batson is one of the most explo- Defensively DT Toby however Western has the McMaster's situation is Windsor Lancers sive players in the league and he appears Lawson are gone, of himself of most talented defense of team in the particular importance ready to establish as one league's any of to Laurier simply The difference between elite receivei-s. league. If they play like they are capable because 2 of 8 Windsor and miss- On the other side of the ball Head Coach playing it could offset the significant losses games making will be the Marauders. the was 6 Amott with his lineback- that the have on the other side of ing playoffs Tom is very pleased Mustangs against that the playolEs points. rd man Pat Wickett (lie ball. A team narrowly missed ing corps. I by third-year for last McMaster returns 19 of 24 starters. Unfortunately and second-year Steve Bodanis. Arnott year, combined Included in the 19 are all five offen- the Ixincers that 6 was the believes that this unit will lead his team's University of stalling points Waterloo and Toronto sive linemen. That unit should complement total of their three loses to UofT, defence, to respectability. Varsity is estab- Guelph. Head Coach John With 45 consecutive losses, the stigma Blues QB Mike Kennedy nicely. Kennedy Eventually himself of the best s in the Musselmans team finished 2-6. the heads could be as lishing as one QB that hangs over players' returns four his five starters return for his third as a starter. Musselman of big a deterrent to finally breaking in to the With QB Mario Sturino deciding to league entering year of all will be WR Mike the line. "lTiat unit, led OUAA column else. final and the release ofWH Francis The biggest loss on ofleasivc by win as anything a year from their with the Toronto all-star OG Chris Church, should open up Arnott is concerned about his lack of l-;tiene and DK John Raposo Morreale, now Argonauts. of TB Chris could CFF Toronto's fortunes him will be a tall order. As well, the holes for CIAU Rookie the Year, depth at all positions; any injuries respective clubs, Replacing for the better. defensive was to Moore. severely curtail York's modest talent pool. quickly took a turn secondary prone giving up to for the Lancers will In addition to Ktie.no, Sturino will have big yardage last year and will have tighten Unfortunately they of order to the chance to have to deal with the five-year dependable SB Scott Mitchell to throw to. I lis up in give Marauders a graduation Rob his offensive line has three of five starters from contend. starting QB Zagordo, Andy Vasily, last back, Joe Tassone. replacement, doesn't have any real game year including center j - • experience and will hit many bumps along the way. Windsor also graduates their two best DB's HEN you're on and will have a tough time replacing them. of Waterloo Guelph Gryphons Univerity Warriors a shoestring budget... The Gryphs enter the sea- hard hit son with the same prob- No team is as by lem that the rest of the graduation as Waterloo. Cory league has. WR Kevin Delaney, Brad Harris, Andy the of dollar is a Now there is a Steve Gord Fawcett and Mark Making most every necessity. Reid, OT Rob Kitching, Allen, Bennett, of lost from convenient for all distance S/LB Chuck Assmann and Parsons are just six many players way you to save on your long calls, DB Heron Tait are just a a very talented 1994 squad. l Laurier^. an w lcre anytime, and Y ' support I) few of the Warriors should fare many quality play- Defensively pretty who will not be back. well, DL John Shoniker, LB Jason Van Gcel ACC has more when most ers 0 designed a plan to save you you're likely and DB Garland are solid who In addition the heir appar- Tony players to call long distance - in the evening or on weekends, during the phone company's discount ent to the starting QB job, will lead the way. So ACC is an additional 40% those times. It's a periods. giving you savings during Nathan Body, is academi- The "plumbers" will need that help defen- numbers or because a O-Ijne prevent discount on top of a discount! Save more on every call, not just on certain at cally ineligible. sively, suspect may skill The Gryphon Waterloo from using some very talented certain but all calls. We call it Solution*. times, on your our 40/20 attack should be fueled by position players. FB Mike Mallot, WIl Adrian and SB Rick Shea have lot of talent the return of both starting Thorne a chance to the RB's Terry Wiggan and but they may never get a get KICK the high cost Rob Popkey. Quality ball. QB Patrick Gorman was lost for the sea- due off and his receivers Kip VVigmore son to an season injury 52?" £52/ of distance and Mark Dragich should replacement, Kevin Denschinko, has not 112 long offset the loss of Reid played football in two years and has never somewhat. started a university game. is with hidden This a simple savings plan no the would the However It appear as though playoffs minimums or /niTiltiVt charges, monthly calling Achilles heel of the would be a longshot for the Warriors. ® circles. in Gryphons be at QB, i * r ACC offers you the best value may (■i Yj/\\ \ J 112 y'y J JJUk> direct-dialed long distance to ensure you get All calls to Canada and the U.S. during more for less. the hours. phone company s off-peak y 40% off during off-peak hours Hawks football: / Free ACC Travel Card Detailed lists monthly invoice your costs /~V V \fk r~~\\ STi 1 ' " I y°ur sav 'n§ s on eac l ca /aI vif \fC i! / J Saturday Bpm j/ J / Optional third party billing to your parents' address All calls to Canada and the U.S. the Stadium during chartered bank Seagram / Bills can be paid at any or phone company s regular daytime hours and participating trust company all international on calls, . . , , your anytime. , „ cc J 7 / Does affect not your regular phone service, * features be can 1-800-665-5691 for full rate details or any you may utilizing Laurier York 112 This service is not available to residence students. vs. y Family & Friends Call join too! I;,/ To Enroll Call ® WILFRIDLAURIER UNIVERSITY $2 ». a 3 * » 1-800-665-5691 22 September 7, 1995 theCord (Sports) Classifieds Wanted Mutual and Help RRSP's, Funds, more. Previous 6610. west of University and Albert. $30/month, not experience necessary but an asset. On the price negotiable. Call Chris at 884-3995 for Get Free... Experience. practical job training, only serious applicants need Basketball Referees needed for 95/96 season! information. Mail letter business'teaching experience working only apply. cover and resume to.. many game times available to suit your school week. No Jarski schedule- weekends, one night per previous experience Cezary afternoons, evenings, a staff members necessary. Volunteer and advi- 275 Ixincaster St. w. Information Session and first meeting is where start Ont. N2H 7 sors run a program teenagers up Kitchener, 4V2 Sept.ll/95 from to 9 p.m. at St. Michael's their and manage own manufacturing opera- school (64 University Ave. W. - across from Word Processing Service. Reports, resumes, tions. The Office is students are from 7to form etc. Development hiring WLU). Meetings Monday nights letters, mailing lists, letters, on recy- For more information call Kathi Smith who to 9 For call Dave cled Laser or are looking gain professional experi- p.m. more information, please paper. printing, dictaphone, equa- 576-6610. Diane Brunette at ence in a social environment. For details, calf @744-4534. tion editing, optical scanning available. extension 3999 take to or your resume 28 Audrey 884-7123. HITPFRS NEEDED! HOMFWORK Sisters Bricker Street. — Big . q 25 students to tutor requires elementary/ high Ol* » ■ KGrit f* I academic difficulties. school students having Hiring! An opportunity to become a volunteer IOI* 59JG vehicle asset. schcd- advisor member for Access to a an Training or staff Junior 5 rooms for rent - $255/mth, 8 mth lease. for October 3/1995 7:00-9:00 Achievement. uled Tuesday You can excellent bills, First books — gain experi- washer/dryer, gas-heated cheap large year Business, Economics, 743-5206 ASAP. To register call ence school students their Close to bank Calculus, Political — p.m. by helping high run driveway. grocery store, and Computing, Science Best businesses. - own university Joe 884-5277after 5 p.m. or 888- offer. Call Jeremy at 884-3995 for informa- CARFFR OPPORTUNITY to No and PROFFSSIONSAI. experience is necessary you only 4567 days. tion. business under the need manage your own one night a week. of in the financial umbrella agiant industry. Call Kathi Smith or Diane Brunette at 576- Parking — Superclose to WLU. 100 yards Cord Classifieds: Hey, they're cheap. r H Emurt Y®yr Coverage IH show the booth between L You must up in person to opt-out SeptembenB-29 to be eligible for reimbursement theCord September 7, 1995 23 SATURDAY FREE ADMISSION B4 9 CAPACITY OF 2500 * FOURTEEN POOL TABLES BASS BLOWING OUT THE WALLS TWO FLOORS OF CRYSTAL CLEAR SOUND CHILL OUT AREA ROOFTOP PATIO/BAR TWENTY-FOUR FOOT VIDEO IMAGES INTELLIGENT LIGHTING SYSTEM THE AREAS HIPPEST GO GOS DOORS @ 8 PARTY TILL 2 ~ FULLY LICENSED 19 PLUS PHOTO ID REQ D ONE KM.EAST ON UNIVERSITY AVE. 341 MARSLAND DRIVE WATERLOO 519 886-7777 ENTERTAINMENT Gene Haunts The Palace DAVE SCOTT Cord Entertainment The latest in a line of British long new wave pop bands, Gene, played a memorableToronto debut recently to a packed crowd at Lee'sPalace. Formed in mid-1993. Gene's chemistry and I charm evolved rapidly. Afler writing a hat full of and their songs tightening up live set, 1994 was the breakthrough year in the U.K. | Gene is: Martin Rossiter (vocals), Steve Mason (guitar), bassist Kevin Miles, and Matt James. With a sophisticated sound featuring the best elements of Paul Weller, The Smiths, and little touch of drama a la Queen thrown in, Gene are a great live band. ALthough these comparisons shed some light on their background, Gene have a very definite musical agenda all of their own. Their debut single For The Dead, released in 1994 the May was acclaimed in music press. Select claimed it"...swaggered with self-confi- dence; everything a pop-single should be." As sin- of the week gle NME noted, "It is a remarkably record that lovely manages to transcend its influ- | ences just by being so damned good." With follow "Be up singles my light, Be my guide", and "Sleep Well Tonight" achieving simi- lar the band established solid | acclaim, a base, and recorded a magnificent debut album v Olympian, released in May 95. Produced by Phil Vinall (Elastica, The Auteurs), Olympian is a blend of thought provok- ing lyrics and bluesy, haunting guitar riffs At a time when the music scene is tending towards an anti-intellectual, "guy" mentality off- bands like Blur and Oasis, it is a refreshing find band change to a that is swimming against the tide. 'Hie Lee's Palace gig at was further proof of Gene's brilliance. The band exuded poise and control, not to mention Rossiter's swaggering and Mason's guitar postures. The atmosphere was joyous, with highlights of the set, including, "London Can You Wait?" and "HauntedBy You". At risk of again making Smith s comparisons, which is an unfair burden to both parties, it is unquestionable that the poignant thinking loner with a yearning to be incredibly famous is a common theme from both Morrisey and Rossiter. The Canadian release of Olympian features two tracks exclusive to the Canadian album, which is yet another reason to check out this rhapsodic CD. Eating Out with Joel and George This week and Joel visit George series of the same name. Long Joel is still i'or to "blue The pants wailing George stop light" specials. menu atmosphere and reasonable prices Mel's Diner (located in the same are advised to accidental about his lost includes from save any talking long mayo. everything the Three make Mel's a nice alternative to plaza as Ix>ose Louies) skin removal from the authentic The second time ventured Change we to Stooges Spaghetti and Meat Balls to Waterloo's collection of roadhouse In the short time Diner that Mel's vinyl You will be to Mel's, was under total I jver and Onions. Meatloafis also seating. happy everything on dining. If you really want to do Mel's has been .Joel and note that Alice Ls control. First open, George looking as good as time aside, we the menu however we have to out the jitters yet right, get your rag-top of have each made a of couple trips ever. walked in, got a table, a waitress test-drive this particular dish. garage and cruise to a place that is down to the sixties joint on The first time we arrived, the stall' that we could almost call and and Joel should Mom, Perhaps George sure to become popular on the University Ave right behind HMV. was The restaurant a damn Reuben extremely busy. pretty good sand- organize a field trip to Mel's for all Waterloo restaurant scene. Now, if The place kind of reminds of had us the only been wich. was open for a couple of George going to get a those who don't like the dining hall's George and Joel could only find Mel. Peach Pit from Hills 90210, the food was but the waitress talked him Beverly days. Although great burger, version of Meatloaf. Problem is we Apparently he has the solution for and Brandon doesn't and the cool fortunately atmosphere was it took into a little would have to book the Turret to the something more healthy. missing mayo. work there. from while for Thanks Background tunes quite a service and our Mom. host theevent. the 50s and 60s blend well with the orders kind of screwed Most of the items the failing Out is our new columnfmm the got up. on menu arc We do strongly recommcnd Mel's decor stomachs that appears in the television is still for his ofJoe! Lynn and Geoi]>e Raptis George waiting mayo. reasonably priced, especially the to our readers. Great food, great • The Centre In The Square presents the Canadian Orpheus Male Choirk Victory In Europe September 16 * The 1loadstones and Bev play Fed Mali Lulu's presents Kim Mitehell WhereToHang September 21 • Jacksoul plays The Bombshelter September 26 Juliana I latfield plays Fed Hall September 7 • Better Daze and Blue Bottle % play at the Volcano September 30 • Concert Extravaganza at Seagram Stadium, featuring the 9 September The Kitchener Musical Society Band rocks the Wellesley Odds auid special guests • Killjoys and Mighty Fishermen play at the Volcano Apple, Butter and Cheese Festival September 8 September 15 theCord September 7, 1995 25 (Entertainment^ The of FIT - FIX 1 mystery "THE ULTIMATE" Boner's dad * '#\S BRAD ROSS The Facts of Life. episodes of Family Ties? Cord Entertainment 2. Mike Seaver's best friend was 8. What was the name of Jack "Boner" in Growing Pains. Tripper's pub in Three's My article includes trivia on the What was Boner's dad's Company, and what was his lost television of name? chefs name? long programs Alf our youth, some new programs, a 3. What planet did come 9. Markie Post, who played lot of older shows but general from? "Christine" in Night Court, in stulT in 4. What Arnold and Willis' real life had two babies. How only people our age group was inDifferent did the alter properly understand. The 80s last name writers hosted classic sitcoms like 'ITirees Strokes? Christine's character while Different the show Too Close For Markie \ '■■? Company, Strokes, The 5. In was pregnant? Facts of Life, and of course the Comfort, what was the name 10. What show did "Alfonzo" sLat- 1 * Thursday four pack of Family of the comic strip the father in after Silver Spoons? Ties, Cosby Show, Cheers, and drew? lose tone endurance for If you want to weight, up or improve your sports, Court. See if 6. Name the star Answers: Night your parents special guest we are the only people to see. Staffed by university physical education their who the Keatons' Mrs. Garrett. 2: look were correct in assessment played 1: Jo. Tuli, Blair, Natalie, graduates who have been professionally trained to guarantee you your 1 but house- 4: 5: best. For the most in the best in the and tin watch too much televi- clumsy gorgeous Sylvester Stabone 3;Melmack Jackson very facilities, equipment world, "you Canada's Club. You deserve it! sion" the in Ties. 7: professional one-on-one service, try by tiying following trivia keeper Family Kosmic. Kovv 6: Geena Davis Courtney questions. 7. What actress starred as Alex's Cox S: Jack's Bistro, Hiillipo 9: Became a FROM STUDENT 1. Name the five characters from girlfriend during the last judge,looped 10: Fresh I'll nee of Bel Air SPECIAL Forced Into The GOOD LIFE fit*#** CLUB 159 KING STREET WEST, KITCHENER (519) 744-6262 Video Store 140 COLUMBIA STREET WEST, WATERLOO (519) 747-1044 GOOD LIFE CLUB FOR WOMEN 1253 KING STREET EAST, KITCHENER (519) 576-7744 140 COLUMBIA STREET WEST, WATERLOO (519) 747-1044 MELANIE SEAL alion of Crimson Tide. This movie was not about Cord Entertainment only an original taJe, it was a movie of "the Usually, the summer provides lots of great the ominous power controlling but- from movies aimed at the kiddies. Recall the sum- ton" while being totally isolated the hi-fi of the outside world. mer of Jurassic Park, with effects and political occurrences stereo that made its audience quake in their This summer, being the best movie wasn't seats. that difficult. This summer, however, most of the The summer was filled with flippant little movies released lacked in quality. Movies romances like While You Were Sleeping. that sold the tickets and made the Who falls in love with in sim- most most a guy a coma, often about heroes of because he looks Come money were yester- ply good? on 1 aren't that shallow. year. iollywood, even you The two ccltic contributions to celluloid, When I lollywood produces films like The and Talk Rob Roy, and Braveheart, relied on heroes Babysitter's Club, Something to I from legends of long ago to make the story About, grow concerned that there aren't work. Rob did but then recent school with Roy quite well, again, even any film graduates the writers were guaranteed a winner when talent. No wonder (richton is living high off cover jr . they chose a subject that has delighted the hog, even when his film Congo had Scottish school children for hundreds of cheap effects and lousy acting. The story s, saTurclay itself -the had much years. is good movie so poten- Batman Forever did okay in ticket sales, tial. toronto yet never saw the success that the previous As we wind down with movies like films had. of hav- have Perhaps alter years Mortal Kombat, the movie-goer is glad to thrown of of ing the comic book character in our see the end the summer 1995 movie faces, we are ready to say enough is enough. season. Definitely a let down, but things can sinful Sunday : / I There were those who did enjoy the movie- only get better. the who for wonder how movie most likely pre-pubescent girls At the same time, I #dj jephreak jf unknown lust Chris that video some reason after companies can be surprised O'Donnell.This around hero rentals What do all movie revolves a do so well. they expect us to night...no fj |>- known for we have years. watch? In today's economy, the movie-goer 1 ask 1 lollywood writers why they insist wants to be sure that they are getting their on digging up old stories and remaking eight dollars worth. If Hollywood can't write to much have to the clas- them, trying squeeze as capital gain any good movies, we rely on jr 32.25 before 10pm out of them as possible. Case in point would sics. % be First Sean has undoubt- The would be better if jf wed jr Knight. Conncry cinema a place ? to"Tui|, edly seen better and by the there were more and Tarantinos; jf no catch...no %oyer K days, re-enacting Spielbergs love he little talent stuck saga of a triangle in Camelot, merely while people with or no to dates himself with the Middle Ages tale itself. writing the NBC miniseries of the OJ there Is any creativity left in Hollywood? Simpson story. brief of I saw a glimmer light with the ere- ) CLUB S Gpfctpefe I needed... .. astrologer a;- "the only alternative" '° doors - 2:ooam open 9:oopm 571-9032 667 king street west kitchener (EoireO, 26 September 7, 1995 theCord -(Entertainment) The Art of Hangin' Over When didn't when you know to say when... BRAD SAVAGE you can say "I ley, I'm hangin' over", and it had the to with if opportunity experiment many ing again, bccausc you try to return too Cord Entertainment sounds like you're doing something when different remedies to rid of these myself hang- early, you only risk injuring yourself more. University not only provides one with a valu- actually, you're not. overs. My own routine of hangin' over starts with able education to assist one in finding To a more vivid of what a have basic employ- paint First, I two theories I live shake - this picture by a strawberry provides you with ment upon graduation, but also teaches one feels hangover like, here are some transla- when I'm over. The first is...no anal- hangin' fruit, sugar (which you are now lacking) and tilings about other aspects oflife. One of tions for many foreign hangover-related phrases: gesics (painkillers). Some people live and die something frosty to get rid of whatever the more practicaJ things I've learned in • for my "katzonjammer" (German "the wailing by these capsules and tablets, but 1 the Oral B If don't firmly "pasties" didn't get. you three-plus years at WLU Ls the art of of cats") "hangin' believe that one must deal with whatever have the wherewithal to make or purchase a over". A is that most of • her hangover something "jeg tommermann" for short abuse is self (Norweigan term -inflicted through shake, a couple of glasses of chocolate milk will experience, some far more often than you "workmen in my head") of alcohol. In should over-consumption short, you suffice. Next, eat something with a lot The best others. method to cure the • "ont haret" common i (Swedish for "pain in theroots deserve to feel the do. way you Maybe next of grease. There is no documented medical has been a issue for of hangover heavily-debated my hair") time remember how felt and benefit you'll lousy you to this, but it works for me. Then, centuries. • "so to ko-ho!" for gi (Vietnamese "water you'll drink more works responsibly (it never assume a horizontal position in a room with personal dictionary defines "hangin' over" buffalo inside My plowing my head") for either). minimal me, illumination. The only real cure, like this: No two hangovers are the same, as second belief discredits the "hair of the remember every- My friends, is time. If my home reme- over (i>.) The action(s) hangin' associated with one the in experiences symptoms that bit the next varying dog you" theory. Drinking dy causes you intestinal warfare, please do not with dealing or ridding oneself of the condition degrees. My own personal hangover consists is not contact morning recommended, especially me. I am not a certified physician, nor on by excessive alcohol of brought consumption. minor/major headache (positively correlat- when one has attend. do morning classes to 1 1 profess to be. One last note — I do not itself is also effective The phrase very in every- ed with loss consumption), fatigue, temporary the "cure" to condone 1 equate morning drinking coming "binge" drinking, just like to be a conversation. Instead of "Oh of 90% of day saying man, brain, strong desire to do back from a nothing, rotator cuff injury. You should part of it. Cheers! I'm so I'm not doin' and hungover ... anything", aching teeth (?). Over the I until years, have wait you're absolutely 100% before pitch- m/f A ■|HB| J^f ear candy JfeigHngr Yens f*itf Your HHtt] 2X Best Place: Fk?rivc*ra mtSwfm- AARON HUNTER prnm^m HeTie o Ulart Specialists t| Stone Roses |112 Glyeolie Held Peels t| The Complete Stone Roses Silvertone Records Facials o esthetics ° First of all, this is Electrolysis Ulaxing by no means the 'complete' Stone f| Roses. The misleading name is just another of Silvertone Records' efforts to make this final Call 125°HCiiE" exploitive as cash-grab big as possible. (The Stone II § Hoses' last album recorded was for DGC.) For the new Can, the collection is Hawed by its exclusion of incredible like 'This songs Is 'Hie One' and 'Sugar Univ. Uleber medical Center O Sister', Spun and for the rabid veteran, the collection is flawed by, well, its lack of weird and interesting material. This album comes off as someone's quickly mix of their favourite old Stone thrown-together tape Roses songs. If ever need a borrow this and read the you laugh, from somebody essay in the liner notes (of course, not written the band It Is the most by themselves). pre- tentious of 1 read. piece crap have ever And wliile you're doing that, listen to Cinnamon'. cheer 'Sally That'll you up. Blur ERBS i Blur Recorded Live From VILLE Mile End Stadium | Food Records You'd think that Blur would be horrible live Kart a Go Track I Inc. j band; their I arrangements are usually so complex, yj^y':rj and their songs seem so studio-oriented. 1 lowover, this theory of mine has been shot down - by everyone I have ever spoken to who has seen Blur in concert. Whether through brilliant mixing or just plain talent and charisma, this four-song HP succeeds very well. Nothing too unknown here; the casual Blur listener will probably recognize all the songs. (They are all recent singles.) The band into and more colourful strays new orchestration in some parts: for example, the horn section in 'For Tomorrow'. Instead of being bogged down by the limitations ol live Blur the performance, capitalizes on chance to change things a little. Damon Albarn tinkers up with the vocals quite a bit, and it j works. Highlight: thousands of fans screaming the chorus of 'Girls and Boys' in unison. ■ . a Ben Lee Grandpaw Would Grand Royal Records Ben is a sixteen-year old kid from Australia with a good voice, lots of important industry friends and a serious case of Bvan Dando-worship. Sonic Youth's his Thurston Moore helped band NoLseAddlct get into the studio, and Loo's his solo now got own album; just him and a guitar. We 11... him just and a guitar and backing performances by the likes of Uz I OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK -12 NOON 'TIL 10 P.M. I Phair and the Spinanes' Rebecca Gates. Of the eighteen loosely-constructed, unpolished at least six real The songs, are gems. songs are interesting because their lyrical cleverness Ls crossed with the simple rhythms and chord ! progressions that you would expect Irom a teenage boy writing about love 884-5650 and stuff. This Ls unapologetic pop music; it says so on the back. It's slowed ; down, toned down, stripped down punk rock. Given his talent, his strong 675 Conservation Erbsville support and his Drive, very youngage, 1 would say Ben I>ee is heading for eventual stardom. Hopefully, he is notjust going to fade slowly into adulthood. theCord September 7, 1995 27 (Entertainment) Dynamic Duo MELANIE SEAL Cord Entertainment Dear Dynamic Duo, behind. While I I was to be I came to frosh week leaving a high school boyfriend thought going Icebreaker As the 1 able to be faithful to him, 1 find myself watching my intently. days progress, shirt sticks to his while he screams the blue team watch the way that his pink sweaty body tell how I closed and I want chants. Oh dynamic ones, me can keep my legs my thoughts pure. if he does to Western. to stay faithful to my boyfriend even only go Signed, Desperately seeking Ice Dear Desperately seeking Ice, While would come here to think only thoughts. You're at Laurier now, why you wanting pure However, will that trust and are thebasis good relationship. you are many agree fidelity ofany Now is to be the best life. What belter time in life in university now. supposed years ofyour your not have in the is there to sample the sexual catalogue of diversity? Why a terrific romp night with Icebreaker. Your in London has to know. The Cod's honest truth, he's prob- your man never virile with the Icebreaker! ably making out with some youngfresh beauty firm every thing-go for v v *' " jjmnig -';^'^^^^!^:->»:v . '.' ■'«;> would he have become an You know that want it. You know that he wants it. else you Why Icebreaker? Dynamic Duo Dear Dynamic Duo, chick that 1 metat the beach. Ihings I had this fantastic summer fling with this terrific looking rash around testicles. I would be terrific except for the fact that 1 now have this disgusting my walk with a wouldn't be that worried but the other day it started to pus and ooze. I now around to the stuff from Yuk! Do I call her, pile of toilet paper in my pants trying stop staining my jeans. I clinic? What could this be? and ask her what's up? Or do just go to the Signed Itchy-Scratchy Dear Itchy Scratchy, Call her want to make her sick to Grr-osss! Get thyself to a clinic as soon as possible. only ifyou I learned this summer. her stomach. But gel some disinfectant quick....and hope you something the beach. Nobody wants testicles. Always use protection when you have sex on pussing Dynamic Duo Movie Rental I B \u*l I flpl I v of the Week MELANIE SEAL CORD Entertainment SINGLES 1992, Warner Brothers PG-13 (language) this definite that As far as movie rentals go, Is a winner. Singles was not widely publicized in it's claim fame that be recalled when it was released the theatres; only to can quickly was that it starred Matt Dillon. Singles has a soundtrack that sold better and received more recognition than the movie. Starring alongside Matt Dillon are Bridget Fonda, Kyra in Sedgewick, and Cambell Scott. The characters are dealing with falling and out of love, and the changes one goes through when romantically attached to another human being romanti- life cally. At the same time, the characters deal with all the little monkeywrenches that throws Wliile the filled with deal of at you when you're twentysometliing. movie is a great truth, it doesn't smother its audience with it. Singles is humorous. Bridget Fonda sums up the theme of the movie accordingly, "There'sa certain dignity in being single." THE KITCHEN The Cord needs writers IS OPEN and photographers. EVERY DAY Come the Cord offices and 220 KING ST. N., WATERLOO up to 888-7663 volunteer. Talk to Scott or Marion. 28 September 7, 1995 theCord (Entertainment) Hard Top ten pick Cord up lines for Entertaining and interesting stuffin the Laurier Community... ...with a Frosh Week focus frosh week 1. Off-campus housing. You know desk too when your is big you've got to take the trim offyour bedroom door. AS HEARD BY MELANIE SEAL 2. Walkie-talkie technology. Cord Entertainment Making the huge many-tentacled beast that is Frosh Week possible. Roger that Nice Buttons. 10. dress-Strong 3. Snapple. Wliat's colour? 9. your A decent drink, but that's not enough tojustify its popularity. People just like saying 'Snapple', 8. Whatrez are you in? 7. Did a single room? you get 4. Waterloo in September. 6. What are your views on premarital sex? Concert heaven. 5. I'm red, you're green-lets unite our colours. 50...h0w do I to be an 4. get Icebreaker next year? 5. The "Groove Shack." 3 I've got this free condom burning a hole in my picket It's cool, \ say. need 2. You help setting up your computer...if you've got the slot, I've the KAM. got 6. Foot Patrol. 1. I feel sick, can me in the "Bacchus you put position"? Cool. Professional Ileal swingers. 886-FOOT. 7. Heat exhaustion. PatofStudent Publications' elaborate plan to eliminate all the Head Icebreakers. I we 8. Brita Water-Filters. mean, Get one. the first one really No, get two, might go missing or break or something. Tiljust drink the water/ OK, you say? but don't come crying to me later. need 9. ForweO's, people. A bank machine, ceramic dogs, and look at all (hose magazines! 10. Shinerama. The best part is when to hallucinate before you start right lunch. Shining people's heads is the. second best part rmgg wjlIIINIIHSIIKJ t PP/eate Ql;o4i / tyrt/nJc and I i A 45 I We Deliver: You could smoke a a /~>ct Beer, Liquor/mix ™ I ® +C-701 Fast Food I cigarette or scream out Wine, c PER DELIVERY Xr^",i„b,e the window. You Empt/ could even join the Cord Entertainment Writer's Corps. Glamour, excitment and occasional slimey I >mceiwe I journalist perks. See a I G7a/ve r> FRFF I Melanie Aaron or any- I 10 I Hours: to 9:30 -10 I Office, Student Union Monday Thursday a.m. p.m. I & I Friday Saturday 9:30 a.m. -11 Building. p.m. theCord September 7, 1995 29 (Shameless SelfPromotion) You create it. We print it. Postscript laser output the size of this up to page. Coming in mid-September. WLU Student Publications Postscript laser output to ll"xl7" • Desktop colour scanning Complete output solutions Inquire at the Cord Offices Third Floor • Student Union Building 30 September 7, 1995 theCord NSK Memories of 2-9-9-0 Episode One - Departure MONTY BRONTE The above portal appeared right the computer. It just appeared one day. There for was no reason it. We hadn't done anything. Somebody on the otherside must have cuased it. We'd been the sitting next room. We were mourning the death of the Cord named Sue had masoct, a fish Montgomery. noticed our wee pal "fins up." "I I asked to feed the fish thought you earlier today," she said to me. I thought back to when she'd said this to me. "When?" "When I passed you in the hall. Harlier today ..." The conversation was terrific of All interrupted by a gust wind. of our ears We for minute with popped. sat a our fingers in ears, stunned. from Tracey got up the couch and walked in the next room. "Uh." She and therest of knew paused us something was wrong. 1 at first the construction had thought company come through the waif accident. Scott by told me later he'dthought the ceiling had collapsed. We were both wrong. "Uh, hits anyone seen this dark swirling hole in the wall before." The rest of to the could us ran doorway. Beyond Tracey we see, well, a dark hole above Xanadu. Xanadu swirling was one of our copmputers. It was appropriately named for the situation. A We wondered what it was. minute or two must have passed before someone spoke. 1 think it was Scott. "This is like Star Trek." "Yeah," said someone else, "like Star Trek we're in ... except not space." "And I'm not a hairy Klingon," I added. We moved closer. The wind was stronger and it felt like it was pulling at us. "We shouldn't knew get too close," yelled Dave. I it was Dave cause he had one hand on the door and his other hand on me. I knew Dave had a and the this hole it looked like well. fear of falling, way was, a deep llc to far and was probably tyring keep as away as possible, prevent us Iron falling to our doom. We heeded his advice his advice and backed off into the other room. Tracey closed the door, but the crack at the but the crack at the bottom this noise the wind. It shrilled like ban- created hoirible sucking from a shee the I'm not to hair stood end. on moor. ashamed say my on "I-uck me, that's cool," I said. we should "Maybe tell someone about it," Sue piped up. "Ijke P.P. and P.," Scott responded sarcastically. We grew silent again, but the wind continued to suck at the door, "li'ts get a rope and anchor it. We can cimb into the hole and pull our- selves out if we have to". "What?" "Arc you nuts?" "No I'm serious. There could be another world on the other side." We silent the other could here were again. From room we Tracey's advertising agreements mstling in the wind. They were probably getting sucked right into the hole. We watched as Tracey unplugged the long telephone cord from the wall. "This'll do". She opened the door and walked back into the room. Scott started don't to laugh. I think he believed what was happening. He walked in after her though and helped her tie the telephone cord to the filing cabinet. could "There jus tbe open space on the other side", yelled Dave. "*You could die". I back. "I don't think wife would I have to was stepping my approve. finish the laundry tonight. I don't want to piss her off'. Tracey and Scott shrugged. They started to climb down the telephone cord, which was suspended in mid air and being pulled down the centre of the hole. "Come on Dave", yelled Sue. She was dragging him over to the tele- phone cord, lliey descended. I stood there, turning back and forth. "Fuck, fuck...fuck". I grabbed a role of film and a camera from the cabinet. "Fuck me". I grabbed the cord and started descend. could and telephone to I barely see Sue Dave below I about feet down the when me. got twenty cord, suddenly it shift- ed. I looked up. r lTie cord shifted again, and suddenly it went limp. I looked up and the saw filing cabinet hurtling towards me. There were five people on this telephone cord. It was anchored by one half empty filing cabinet. We'd pulled the cabinet into the portal by our sheer weight. We were in free fall. All I could hear "You dink Phill". As if it was Tracey screaming, was my fault. theCord September 7, 1995 31 homework done Get your in halfthe time! -i& muscle wher- T¥ it could With a new IPC 575/ have the to ey, happen. systems go We combined I JLJ. ever want to an Pri mi i CD/FX9S-575i computer to help get your you go. lrr| rre with work could Intel Pentium processor U3 1 ill iTI I done, you findyourself I 'j'ljjJ flJj *j* LJJ CD ROM true included nine popular new jjj speed drive, a From 16-bit sound card, and a pair of software packages. J~T . . 11L „4« A Bic» to School Sictra . . Q ../», " C| *7 " A/I tll a and entertainment to stereo And its all > ( reference amplified speakers. — — — IPC CDIFX9S Multimedia the financial management there's experience! ready to run, just unpack 30 DAY ~ MONEY BACK IPC 5755e in a cables, and 1, something for everyone. boxes, plug few away Satisfaction I Guaranteed! • Intel 75MHz Pentium processor In idc) fact, once you start exploring you go! Isekcach™™ m;s * it • PC/ Local bus architecture ■■ ■■ you can return within the IPC is potential ofyour CD/FX9S-575i, Of course, every system See participating gentium® your DuallmpHfleTsteakers READY I • 14.4 Voice/Fax/Modem VOKLriXJMI I be Listen and labour • you'// amazed. to your covered by a full 3-yearparts warranty, hard drive ■*"'** • 3.5" high density floppy drive CD while tech and on-site • imb pa svga video card favourite you gjß[^BmS£l^7n g youdowithaPciseasier toll-free support, ' Microsoft Mouse and mousepad and faster with Windows 95. • Windows9s pre-loaded 32 b" arch,tecture dehvers aster 112 the internet via the service the • Three & labour warranty surf for first year. year pans andsmootherperformance service* • First year on-site and Multi-tasking multi-threading . Monitor not included internal 14.4k let work in several fax/modem. you programs Andtotopitoff,theCD/FX9S-575i once. on several jobs at S *f«l ...... 8f red"'9ned user interfamakes Jump from tomorrow's _ and 5 ysse are covered by afull J * ** * computing even more automatic, ana plug-ana-play —SES-SEE technology lets you expand instantly. ' S 75se P us: assignment to the Amazon jun- 30-day money-back guarantee! \ Duai7pledcD°ROM •9 popularsoftware packages' with the all done and 7/ have gle a couple ofmouse clicks. Thanks to So get everything fast you *1,899 new Windows true multi- is real. even more time to do Contact one the '95, tasking for things! of Immlm HHH And IPC CD/FX9S- dealers below for more information. software titles: • Encarta '95 • Golf • Works • CD Sampler • • Scenes* • Dangerous Creatures Money 112 J ' Entertainment Pack* • Let's Learn Vol.l ' W+, 48 OdPI mm JLZIJL ™eB — II ih fl ra|ip "H® PERSONAL Sii Pi IPC CD/FX COMPUTERS i Computer Connection National Computers Uof W Computer Store Chipon Computers 825 Weber St. E., #3 255 King St. North Math Bldg. Rm. 2018 287 Erie Street Kitchener Waterloo Waterloo Stratford 578.457Q 725.Q6Q6 888.4636 273.1412 * The 30 day money back guarantee applies only to IPC CD/FX 575 and IPC 5755esystems purchased betweenAugust 24 and September 31, 1995.The Intel Inside Logo and Pentium are trademarks of Intel Corporation. The IPC logo is a trademarkof 3D Microcomputers. Prices change without notice. Windows and the Windows 95 logo are trademarks of Microsoft Corp. System not necessarily as shown. ' Monitor not eligiblefor on-site service. On-Site service is not availablein all areas of Canada. Regional price variances may apply. andconfiguration subject to