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Number 73 March 2015 ‘What Ho’ Causing Offence? by Allen Hunter own here in sunny Queensland, Australia, I I also knew that if one thinks of a number plate tried to obtain a personalized number plate and doesn’t acquire it right away, someone else tDhat would, I thought, honour the worthwhile will beat you to it. So straight away I got onto the tradition of P G Wodehouse. Government website and typed in ‘WHAT HO’ to An old Army friend helps organize an annual see if it was available. You might imagine my Bentley meet. As I aspire to own one, I go along to excitement to discover that it was. So I paid the enjoy the cars and to have tea and scones in the necessary fee and had the purchase confirmed. park-like grounds of an historic home. It’s all very Now all I had to do was work out how I was nice; very civilized. going to acquire the car. If I may digress briefly, I After the last such meet, I started thinking I should point out that the Director of Purchasing in should prepare for eventual Bentley ownership by our humble financial empire had not given prior at least acquiring a suitable number plate. And approval to said purchase, but I considered that wouldn’t ‘What Ho’ be perfect (even if it is not on merely an obstacle to overcome. After all, I a Hispano-Suiza)? This would let other PG fans reasoned, there are many ways to skin a cat, as we know that there is someone out there doing their say down here. For instance, one fellow I know little bit to keep the tradition alive. obtained a dog which he proceeded to name ‘Bentley’, figuring that this would be the only Bentley he would ever have. Solutions have a way of appearing unexpectedly, I often find. Nevertheless, all week- end I basked warmly in the contented knowledge that even though I had not yet worked out how to get the car, at least I would have the number plate. Imagine going down to the shops for the papers and milk in the morning! It was on Monday morning that I collided with the State bureau- cracy, and my dream evaporated. I received an email from them, explaining that all applications for Allen and his wife, Carmel, with a facsimile of the offending plate plates are assessed for Wooster Sauce – March 2015 appropriateness. They went on to say (quoting “is definitely not a combination that can or will be verbatim): sold”. You will note that they did not explain what the problem with the plate was. An unacceptable plate combination can include, but Further communication ensued. When I is not limited to, obscene or indecent combinations, received a phone call from the Manager, I pointed plate combinations that promote unsafe or harmful out that not only was “what ho” found all through behavior, or plate combinations that may be the writings of P G Wodehouse, but the phrase has considered offensive to members of a religion, an entry in the as an members of a distinct culture, citizens of a particular Oxford English Dictionary nation, people of a particular race and members of a interjection. It even appears in Shakespeare! Still particular minority. no explanation. At least he agreed to consider waiving the penalty for my wickedness. Then they said: “Your plate combination So I had to unearth for myself what the ‘WHAT HO’ has been assessed as unacceptable.” problem was. I asked a young acquaintance, and he Furthermore, I was to be relieved of $100 for just snickered, if that’s the word I’m looking for. It attempting to obtain an “ inappropriate or offensive ” seems the problem might have been with the “HO” plate (their emphasis). part. Apparently the word is some kind of rap I was stunned. I sent off an email, asking them slang for a lady of dubious virtue. (politely, of course) why this plate was When I told my son about this, he wanted to unacceptable. I explained the connection with know if Santa would be refused “HO HO HO” for PGW, with my (future) Bentley, and how it “would the number plate on his sleigh? (Clever boy, my have given rise to much pleasure in the hearts of son; goes right to the heart of the matter in cases those many followers of the many exploits of . such as this.) Bertie Wooster.” I suggested that maybe P G So, dear readers, you may well share my Wodehouse himself would have smiled. feelings in this, but the sad thing is that a much- But this, I am sad to say, was to no avail. loved, well-established part of our rich and Their reply indicated that they accepted the glorious literary heritage should be usurped by plate was “not meant in an offensive or some mindless, modern slang. inappropriate manner”; nevertheless, WHAT HO I wonder what P G would make of it? Two for the Tup Reports of the Society’s most recent meetings November 19: The AGM about in his beautiful Scottish accent (for which he apologised!) included Paul Cox, Andrzej Klimowski, he Savoy Tup, 2 Savoy Street, is a most unusual Frederic Gruger, Ionicus, Ronald Searle, Frank Ford, T pub. Customers are invited to bring their own and James Montgomery Flagg. (We confess that we food to enjoy while sipping their choice of drink had heard of only two: Ionicus and Ronald Searle.) from the pub’s vast range. The word tup means a Graeme told us how, when he was at school, he ram, a paving hammer, a pile driving monkey, or the began to take an interest in the various illustrators striking face of a steam hammer. As a verb it refers to who had worked on Wodehouse material. His domestic activities of sheep. So take your pick! enthusiasm was clear to see, and he had brought with This quaint watering hole is where we had our him some of the cherished artwork he had bought. meeting on the 19th November last year – the first one at this new venue. It is smaller than what we are used to, but we made ourselves comfortable. The AGM was disposed of with her customary skill by Chairman Hilary Bruce. Exhausted by having to raise our hands when required during the meeting, we were rewarded with a well-earned break. We gained some muscle tone by having to go downstairs to buy our drinks. The evening’s entertainment was provided by Graeme Davidson, who was interviewed by Paul Kent about Graeme’s interest in – or rather passion for – the various artists who have illustrated PGW’s work, especially in magazines, notably the Saturday Evening Post . The artists Graeme spoke so eloquently Graeme shows off one of his many treasures. Page 2 Wooster Sauce – March 2015 He marvelled at the different styles of the artists and explaining Hilary was recovering from an immune how they all could convey the spirit of the text, system malfunction. Sympathies and best wishes regardless of mistakes such as a butler’s pantry being were extended. Christine then produced a spiel shown as a very grand place. prepared by Hilary for the benefit of attendees at the When he was able to get a word in, Paul asked if meeting, and went through parish notices. there was a golden age of illustration. Graeme The notices included (a) confirmation that the thought there was, and it was in the 1920s –1940s entertainment at the next Society meeting would be a when magazines such as the Saturday Evening Post quiz, on 22 July; (b) a glimpse of Society and Vanity Fair flourished. Remembrancer Norman Murphy’s latest opus The Paul wondered if illustrations were spoiled by P.G. Wodehouse Miscellany (see page 5 for more inaccuracies such as a pink Empress of Blandings or details); (c) details of various Society cricket match Bertie Wooster with a monocle. Graeme thought not, dates (see Society News, next page); and (d) an in that it did not affect the value of the artworks. exhortation for a volunteer to take on the role of In the event of a fire, Paul asked, which one of Society Treasurer. the artworks would Graeme save? It looked like a As the date of the meeting fell in the week of St toss-up between Louder and Funnier and the first one Valentine’s Day, the date of Plum’s passing, an he ever bought, Leave It to Psmith . (NB: Jeeves and the appropriate toast was fondly and respectfully raised. Wedding Bells by Sebastian Faulks is illustrated by Paul Cox in Vanity Fair .) Altogether it was a most informative and enjoyable evening. – Arthur and Elizabeth Findlay February 11: An Enjoyable Relapse he Society’s first meeting of 2015 was held on 11 February at our now established haunt for such eTvents, the upstairs room at the Savoy Tup, found at 2 Savoy Street, just off from the Strand towards the Thames. Word swirled round, as I arrived and ensconced myself amid the thronging masses and Paul Kent, essentially the Society Redcoat, then atop a bar stool adjacent to a fortifying brace of took the floor, delivered a brief commentary on glasses of Merlot (recommended by my splendid relations between Wodehouse and fellow writer A A breakthrough medical team), that a sick note for the Milne, and segued into an introduction to a reading night had been received from our Chairman, Hilary of a lightly abridged version of the Milne-inspired Bruce, advising that she was confined to bed with golf story ‘Rodney Has a Relapse’, performed that directions to stay there until better.

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