CO PY R IG HT 8 , 1 94,

F BY . TEN N YS O N N E EL Y .

All Ri ht s Re s er e d g v . C O N T E N T S .

1 .

2 S AM U L LA GHOR . E N NE

n N VADA AN D 3. I E

E F H 4. ON O T E

Hxs F R LI E A Y 5 . I ST T i R

6. -n o o n "

IN G A D AN D 7. EN L N

8 Hrs .

. HE LE RE A R 9 T CTU PL TFO M .

I M O. ARK TWAxN AT

1 1 As A Bvs E s s MAN . .

1 2 . GEM FROM m S MARK Tw u o o o o o o o o o

RE CE P FA .

” From the days of Yankee Doodle ‘ o f Windham t w o m and the Trogs , ge s of early American humor written in the R e evolutionary period , until near the clos of of R i the war the ebell on , the recog ni zed American humorist , the wit who o r could cause a laugh to g ippling, bub bling around the world , was a creation k e Ho w un nown to American literatur . of for ever, out respect and admiration it and their genius , their w humor, we must not fail in giving proper credit to Fr H k s ancis op inson , Samuel Peter , J 01111 f Ti umbun H ki G F. W m , eorge op ns , illia T T o C . hompson , Seba Smith , J seph . N O C K H eal , rpheus . err, George . D o f for erby and a host others , bringing out in the American prints , those native

s of k characteristics , the drollne s the yan ee o f and the wit the early days , but not until after -the Rebellion did America produce a humoris t of world - wide reputa W f tion . hen civil stri e was ended , and the American began a new career , almost a i uf new ex stence , there came to the s r ace

s o f r The a new chool native humor. of M k T W names ar wain , Artemus ard, B n s be Josh illi g and one or two others , s T came hou ehold words . heir funny sayings caused the Englishman to smile l o f f T i between his bites bee . he r drol humor forced our German cousin to s hake T his s ides with laughter. heir witty bon mots occasioned prolonged mirth from f i n N ot u our riends France . ntil then did we become known as a nation of f f humorists , and rom that day the ame of o ur w its has extended throughout r the To of mi h entire w orld . day a ripp le rt His a nd Work . 9

k of Mud starting on the ban s Flat Creek, will end in a hurricane of laughter on thc

Thames or the Seine . There was something so purely Amere m of M k T ican in the hu or ar wain , that his work soon made for him a place in na of tive literature . As a representative American life and character his name extended even beyond the confines of the of continent Europe , into all lands and among all peoples . In Paris one cannot purchase a Bible at the book stall but “ ” one may find Roughing It at every cor “ ” R The mer. In ome , Innocents Abroad i s f k one o the staples in the boo marts. n H k M k T I ong ong you will find ar wain . e Everywhere th y read him . The career o f Mark Twain is a t o Hi s f mance. li e is a curious medley of pathos and poverty , with an occasional laugh to help along over the rough places . He k s a was a wild , rec le s boy , poor o r printer, not even a go d jou nalist , an He a s adventurer , a wanderer . was ort k He e e o f human aleidoscope . then b cam it S eaker a man a w , a scholar, a public p , (i 1 0 Mark Tw ain

fa l ire b ut mi y and a milliona . All this is of o f A f typical America , merican li e and

American character . Mark Twain is more than a mere Punch W and Judy show . ith his droll humor He there comes information . gives the

f . reader a ull dinner , not merely dessert He tells you more about the Mississippi He river than an old steamboatman . gi ves you a world o f information about r i He Ge many and Sw tzerland . is better k for H than a guide boo the oly Land . What that greater genius Charles Dickens has for M rk T for done fiction , a wain does H . e He humor is an ideal reporter . minutely tells us all about a thing , tells

us what he sees and hears , describes a

man , a mule or a monarchy in excellent f k orm , and ma es one laugh at the same

time . Some years ago I was prompted to

Mr C for write the genial . lemens an introduction or preface to a little volume f o mine , long since buried by the sands s as of time . Hi reply w this s t ? a nd Work I : Hi L] .

H tfo rd C n N ov. x8. ar , on .

M EM . WILL . CL ENS My Dear Friend : Your ur hea t t e ved o d less o . I let er r c ei . G b y r wo uld like ever s o muc h to c o mp ly Wl th your r uest but I a mthrashin w a m new eq , g a y at y o o k and amafraid that I sho uld not find ti b , me to w rite m o w n e it h i n c as e I w as sudde l y p ap , n y l d f r c al e o . “ W sh ouand ourbo ok w el ev i ing y y ell, b i e me, “ o urs t rul Y y,

S AMU L CLEME . E L. NS

N ot long ago the gifted humorist sent me o f k a printed slip his career , ta en “ ” f Men o f T U rom the ime . pon the o f f : margin this , he wrote the ollowing

MY DEAR CLEM ENS “ ’ I haven t any humor ’ i ra h — the fac ts d o n t admit f it ous b og p y o . I “ ” had this s ket c h fro m Men o f the Time p rinted o n slip s to enable me to study my history a t my ure leis .

S . L. CL M E ENS . B f y nature , a serious , thought ul man ,

S el he is deeply in earnest at times , yet dom has he ventured to deal with the

. l n pathetic his writings . Occasionally f he pens a care ul , serious communication , k f for h li e the ollowing , instance , w hich e addressed to a young friend of mine: [2 Ma rk Tw ain

f rd H r o . a t , Jan “ MY DEAR Bov How c an I advi se another man wisel o ut o f s c h c ital as life filled y, u a ap a w ith mista kes? Ad vise himho w to avo id the like? N o — for o p o rtuni ties t o ma ke the same ke o p e t n w o mn Y o u mista s d o n t ap p n o a y t e . r o wn e x eri e c es ma o ssibl te ac h o u but p n y p y y , ’ ’ ther a c t I d o not kno w a n thin ano m n s an . y g fo r rs o t o d o but ust e lo n d o in the a p e n j p g a g , g thi s that o ffer a nd re retti themthe e ng , g ng n xt ’ a is m w a a nd e r bod s d y. It y y ve y y . Trul o ur y y s , ” L. C M S . L E ENS .

In thi s modest volume I do not attempt z o f M k T to analy e the humor ar wain . “ As Howells says : Analyses o f humor are apt to leave one rather serious , and to result in a n entire volatilization of the ” r T . and adven humo here is romance , u ture , and thrilling interest s rrounding f o f o f I the li e the prince humorists , and have endeavored to gather together some Hi s r e of these i nteresting facts . s ati and it S k for w pea themselves .

’ ‘ THE AUJ mr L e a nd Work 1 , s if . 3

RN N SAMUEL LANGHO E CLEME S.

There is more or less obscurity sur rounding the ances try and birth o f Mark Hi s ofD Twain . ancestors were utch and The C f English extraction . lemens amily t k N C ex ended bac to icholas lemens, who H s lived in olland , early in the la t century . S Upon the maternal ide , the Langhornes

o f s were Engli h birth . In the days of the Revolution there c ame to America three sturdy pioneers

C ne o s bearing the lemens name . O f the e

Penns l s ettled in Virginia , another in y The f d vania . ormer prospere in the southern colony and the name became w k the ell nown in South , more especially ’ 1 4! M a rk Tw ain

' ‘ ‘ i n the political history of that sec tion early in the present century . Jeremiah Clemens was a United States senator from A labama , and a congressman , a judge, s and other dignitarie bore the name . n M C f o f Joh arshall lemens , the ather M k T o f ar wain , was one a fine Virginia f l o f f o f c a ami y, a man brain and orce h r H K k acter . e migrated to entuc y and f Ten soon therea ter to Adair county , in n s e He F ntrc ss e se . was married there in e M a county to iss Langhorne , a w rm w i th hearted , domestic woman , great The f fr emotional depths . amily fled om those vast landed possessions in Ten “ nessee The , so graphically described in ” s Gilded Age , and cros ed the river into

M 1 8 2 o f issouri in 9 , locating in the town M few Florida , in onroe county . A months f a ter their arrival . Samuel Langhorne Clemens first saw the light o f day on the o f N 1 8 T a 3oth ovember , 3 5 hree ye rs f H later the amily removed to annibal , a M river town in arion county . In 1 840 the elder Clemens filled the ancient and honorable ofli c e of Justice of i

‘ M lfi z émWéi k 1 m f . 5

H unbéndin he . e t Peace was a stern , g o f man sterling , common sense , and was , of d indeed , the autocrat the little ingy B his room on ird street , where he held

court and preserved order in the village . The court room fairly indicated the rustic; o f f simplicity the people , and the rugal manner in which Judge Clemens lived The f and transacted business . urniture of d consisted a dry goo s box , which served the double purpose o f a desk for

for y r the judge and a table the law e s , three or four rude stools and a puncheon for H bench the jury . ere on court days w hen the judge climbed upon his three

legged stool , rapped upon the box with k k and his nuc les , demanded silence in ful y t the court , it was l expected hat S r “ ilence would eign supreme . As a general thing the rough characters who “ lounged about to see the wheels of ” justice move , bowed submissively to the o f mandates the judge . An overbearing ,

turbulent and quarrelsome man , named B M c Donald Allen . , was an exception , and many a time he had vi olated the rules 1 6 M a rk Tw a irz

k U and been rebu ed by the court . po n one occasion M c D onald was plaintiff in m a cas e against one Jacob S ith . Judge Clemens was presiding with his usual dignity , and the court room was filled w ith witnesses and friends o f the parties One k eac to the suit . Fran Snyder , a p

z able citi en , had given his testimony in favor of defendant Smith and resumed his

w Mc Donald ex as erat seat , hen with an p f k ing air made a ace at him . As quic as a flash Snyder whipped out an old pepper box revolver and emptied every barrel at Mc Donald fil , hurting no one , but ling k the room with smo e and consternation . In the confusion that followed Judge C Mc lemens , doubtless remembering D ’ onald s turbulent spirit, instantly con cluded that he was the aggressor, and seizing a hammer that lay near by , he dealt him a blow that sen t him senseless i The and qu vering to the floor . court w as of completely master the situation .

Be k - man ing a ind hearted , he was greatly morti fied when he learned that he had st k r f l ruc the w ong el ow , but the oldest His Li e a nd Work f . 1 7 inhabitant never heard hi madmit that it “ k ” Hi was a lic amiss . s death occurred 1 8 Hi s M l in 43 . grave in ount O ivet H al k b cemetery , near annib , is mar ed y f so a taste ul monument erected by his n. Hannibal was a S leepy river town characteristic of that day . William Dean ’ H i n f k o f M k T owells , a brie s etch ar wain s “ H career, says : annibal as a name is hopelessly confused and ineffective; but i f kn of Mr C e f we ow nothing . lem ns rom H k of Han annibal , we can now much l f Mr in f . C niba rom lemens , who , act,

l afi n — at - . o has studied a g , out elbows ,

- at- - - n M ~ down the heels , slave holdi g , issis s i o f a ipp river town thirty ye rs ago , with such strong reality in his boy ’s romance ‘ ’ of Tom h Sawyer , t at we need inquire f i nothing urther concern ng the type . The original perhaps no longer exists a in H nywhere , certa ly not in annibal , whi ch has grown into a flourishing little

The of th e city . morality the place was

o f - moral ity a slave holding community ,

fierce , arrogant , onesided ; the religion Calvani sm t was in various phases , w i h 1 3 M a rk Tw ai n its predestinate aristocrac y o f saints and of D i ts rabble hopeless sinners . oubt less young Clemens escaped neither of u Hi the opposing infl ences wholly . s

k - people , li e the rest , were slave holders ; but his father like so many other slave

— holders , abhorred slavery silently , as ” he must in such a time and place . Mark Twain ’s childhood home was k ’ that o f an ordinary bac wood s infant . Hi s boyhood was a series o f mischi evous He adventures . was sent to schot at “ e l an arly age , where he says he exce led ” H only in S pelling . e delighted to spend of much his time upon the river, and so successfully was he in getting into the d turbid water s , that he was ragged out of the river six times before he was twelve of His of him years age . mother said “ - Sam was always a good hearted boy, but he was a very wil d and mischievous w one , and do hat we could , we could k T never ma e him go to school . his used hi s f f to trouble ather and me dread ully , and w e were convinced that he wo uld never amount to as much in the w orld as

3 0 M ark Tw a if:

We used to play about the old village k e in blac smith shop , and wer always f The k e mischie . old blac smith becam e so provok d one day , that he caught Sam e and with a shingle made him so sor , a for k th t he did not sit down a wee . As so on as Sam recovered w e went up on the hill immediately above the blacksmith for k w e shop, and every day about a wee orked n w at diggi g up a big boulder . Finally we got all the earth from around w as e a i t , and all we had to do to giv it Mi d the u o i th shove, down hill it wo ld g w e v da f as terribl elocity . Satur y a ternoon w always a holiday i n Hannibal in those af n days. This particular ternoo was a

uif l k bea t u J une day, and the blac smith ’ as e k in shop w clos d . About three o cloc the afternoon we started the boulder down i l u k the b l . It str ck the blac smith shop nd a the building was almost demolished . k 1 8 0 In a humorous s etch written in 7 , Mark Twain tells the follow ing of his father and his boyhood “ When I say that I never knew my austere parent to be enamored of but is l e a nd Work 3 1 H if . one poemin all the long half-century k hi m that he lived , persons who new will easily believe me ;when I sa y that I have never composed but one poem in all the of long third a century that I have lived , persons w ho know me will be sincerely r f w t the g ate ul ;and finally , hen I say tha poem which I composed was not the one f o f er which my ather was enamored , p sons w ho may have known us both will not need to have this truth shot into them with a mountain howitzer before M f they can receive it . y ather and I w ere always on the most distant terms when I was a boy— a sort of armed neu tralit k y , so to spea . At irregular intervals this neutrality was broken and sufferi ng ensued ; but I will be candid enough to say that the breaking and the suffering were always divided up with strict im partiality between us— which is to say f r k i my athe did the brea ing , and I d d the ff su ering . As a general thing I was a kw bac ard , cautious unadventurous boy . But once I j umped off a t w o -story stable ; another ti me I gave an elephant a pl ug 22 M a rk Tw a in

f o o ai o t bacco , and retired with ut w ting for an answer; and still another time I k pretended to be tal ing in my sleep , and got off a portion o f every original c onun et drum in hearing o f my father . L us not pry into the result ; it was o f no con sequence to any one but me . “But the poemI have referred to as f ' attracting my ather s attention , and ‘ ’ achieving his favor was Hiawatha . Some man who courted a sudden and w f a ul death presented him an early copy , and I never lost faith in my own S e n ses until I saw him sit down and go to read ing it in cold blood— saw him open the k f boo , and heard him read these ollowing i nfl e i nl e lines , with the same c t o ss judicial frigi di ty with which he always read his e charg to the jury , or administered an oath to a w itness

T k our bow O Hi w th a e y , a a a, Take our a rro w s r~he d y , j asp e a ed, T ke our w ar- c lub Pu aw au un a y , gg g , ' And o ur mittens Min ekahw an y , , And o ur birc h c a o e o r s aili y n ng, ” And the oil o f M h - m is e Na a. is e a nd Work 2 H s . \ 3

From all accounts Mark was an incor i ible r g boy , filled with roving imaginations his M o f from very earliest age . any the scenes in his books are taken from the The real occurrences o f his boyhood . “ ” steamboat scene in The Gilded Age w as witnessed by him while out on his His aimless wanderings . adventure with ‘ ’ a dead man in hi s father s offi ce was al so “ ” l He k li tera ly true . had played hoo ey from school all day and far into the night was and absent , and rather than go home be the greeted with a flogging, raised window and climbed into t he o fli c e w ith the intention o f resting all night upon a His of lounge . description the horror creep ing over him as he saw a ghastly hand lying in the moonlight; how he shut his eyes and tried to count , and opened them in time to see the dead man ff k lying on the floor , sti and star , with a i n ghastly wound his side , and at last , how he beat a terrified retreat through d the win ow , carrying the sash w ith him “ ” for convenience is vividly remembered b er r o f k r y ev y eader his w or s . M s. 2; J l a rk Tw a in

' Cl emens asserts that the whole afl air transpired as Mark recorded i t— the man was kill ed in a street fight almos t in front ffi o k o f the o ce d or , and was ta en in there ost mortem n w as While a p examinatio held, f i Dur and there le t until next morn ng . M k i n ing the night ar came , and the scene he has so ludicrously but graphically e depicted w as nacted. Hi s books abound in stories of his “ ” Tom l of boyhood. Sawyer tel s his

t f c ounfi you h ul adventures , although his terp art is more correctly dep ic tei in “ ” “ Huckleberry Finn . In his Old Times ” “ on the Miss issippi he says : When I was a am a boy , there was but one perm nent bitiou among my comrades in our village on the west bank of the Miss iss ippi T river . hat was to be a steamboatman . We had transient ambitions of other si sorts , but they were only tran ent. When a ci rcus came and went it left us all burning to become clowns; the first negro minstrel S how that came to our section left us all suffering to try that kind of life;now and then we had a hope ‘ ‘ W i: Li and Work B fi . a,

that if w e li ed w e od God v and er go , to s would permit us become pirate . h f i n i t T ese ambitions aded out, each s ur e t t n , but the ambition to be a st amboa ” man always remained . W f e m as hen the ath r died , the other w f f r c e w e le t with ou hildren , Sam b ing t elv of a e The s r l z y ears g . ons ea i ed that they must do their part in the struggle for the support of the family In those early years he tried various methods of earning a livelihood , and finally entered the a fli c e of the H n i Week Courier a n bal ly , ’ ’ r e t i as a printer s app entic . A a pr nters N ew k s e e s a o banquet in Yor , om y ar g , he the of c i told story his apprenti eship , n “ which he said : It may be that the printer of to-day is not the p rinter of i -five th rty years ago . I was no stranger to him k w . I new him ell . I built the fire for him in the w inter mornings; I brought his water from the village pump ; ‘ I swep t out his ofli c e ; I picked up his e f h typ rom under his stand;and , i f e w as mere to see the ood t , I put g ype i n his ease and the broken ones among the 36 Ma rk Tw a in

‘ ’ ’ if w to hell matter ; and he asn t there see, ‘ ’ I d umped it all wi . h the pi on the im posing stone — for that was the furtive f of ashion the cub , and I was the cub .

I wetted down the paper Saturdays , I turned it Sundays— for this was a country k r wee ly ; I olled , I washed the rollers , w s f s f I a hed the orm , I olded the papers, I c arried them around in the disagree T The able dawn hursday mornings. carrier was then an object of interest to th If all e dogs in town . I had saved up all the s e kee bite I ev r received , I could p M s s for . Pa teur bu y a year . I enveloped the papers that were for the mail— w e had 1 00 town subscribers and 3so country ones; the town subscribers paid in gro c eries and the country ones in cabbage w - and cord ood when they paid at all ,

“ w w as hich merely sometimes , and then w e s f always tated the act in the paper, ’ and gave them a p ufl ; and if w e forgot to they stopped the paper . Every man in the town list helped to edit the thing; ha how i t w s t t is , he gave orders as to a . tobe edited ma k ;dictated its op inions, r ed

3 8 Mark Twain

m One i m oney. evening upon com ng ho e k for n he as ed his mother five dollars . O being questioned as to what he wanted h s t wit it , he said he wanted it to tar out He f traveling with . ailed to obtain the s r five dollars , but he a su ed his mother o he that he would g all the same , and r a eally went , nor did the old l dy ever set eyes on him again until he had be c He hi s ome a man . had made up mind to run away and see the exposition in N ew k He k w a 'east Yor . wor ed his y for ward as a tramp printer, stopping several w eeks in Sandusky a nd other s town in Ohio . Arriving in N ew York his w orldly possessions amounted to twelve dollars , a ten dollar bill of which sum he had i his f he sewed nto coat sleeve . A ter had visited and carefull y examined the found long coveted exposition , he em ployment in the printing office of John

. e s N . Green Som two or three month after thi s the boy met a man from his own of H f t town annibal , and earing tha hi s w ereabo w be re o he h uts ould p , s e and Work 1 a w . 9 suddenly took his departure fo r Philadel

‘ He d k of e of phia . secure wor in the fic the Led er and g and other newspapers , remained in the Quaker city for several

t . W r o f mon hs hile here , as a esult taking the part of a poor boy w ho w as im sed m upon by a fireman , he was “ severely beaten by the latter , so that he ” ft k resembled Lisbon a er the earthqua e , One to quote his own language . day he made up his mind that he had seen o f a e enough the world in the Eastern St t s , and w s l s , ith his ten dollar stil ewed in c w his oat sleeve , he started estward, n M He having i view his issouri home .

’ C o u tarried awhile in incinnati , L isville w s finad a and other river to n , and y rrived He e in St . Louis . was at this tha n s ven t of i n s n een years age , and his long g a d “ for f ambitions river li e returned . I first w ” “ anted to be a cabin boy , he says , and then a deck b and who stood on the end of the stage plank with a coil of rope in his w as hand , because he particularly But c onspicuous . these were only day dream5— they were too heavenly to be c s ontemplated as real po sibilities . I S aid I never woul d come home again r till I was a pilot and could come in glo y . But somehow I could not manage it . I went meekly aboard a few boats that lay packed together like sardines at the long f i . n St Louis whar , and very humbly for quired the pilots , but got only a cold shoulder and Short words from mates and

k . But cler s I was ashamed to go home . I w as in Cincinnati and I set to w ork to map out a new career. I had been reading about the recent explora tions o f the River Amazon by an expedi o ur It tion sent out by government . was said that the expedition , owing to di fli c ulti es e , had not thoroughly xplored a part o f the country lying about the

- f head waters , some our thousand miles o f w as from the mouth the river. It only about fifteen hundred miles from Cincinnati to N ew Orleans where I c ould doubtless get a ship . I had thirty

l eft dollars . I would go on and complete of z k d the exploration the Ama on . I pac e m k on a c i nt y valise, and too passage an n e Hi s L e a nd Work 1 if . 3

for N ew tub , called the Paul Jones , o f Orleans . For the sum sixteen dollars I had the scarred and tarnished splendors ‘ ’ o f her main saloon principally to my f for S he r sel , was not a creature to att act of e the eye wiser travelers . When w ok presently got under way , and went p O ing down the broad hio , I became a S of o w n new being, and the ubject my

r . w admi ation . I was a traveler A ord had never tas ted so good in my month

f k off al be ore . I ept my hat l the and stayed where the wind and the

s r k sun could t i e me , because I wanted to get a bronzed and weather-beaten look o f B f an old traveler . e ore the second day f x was hal gone , I e perienced a joy which filled me with the purest gratitude ; for I saw that the skin had begun to blister o ff k f and peel my nec and ace . I wished that the boys and girls at home could see me now . ‘ After two w eeks the Paul Jones r N ew O eached rleans , and the young t ne as raveler discovered two things . O w that a vessel w ould not be likely to sail 3: Ma rk Twain for the mouth of the Amazon under ten or tw elve years; and the other was that the nine or ten dollars still left in my pocket would not sufli c e for so imposing an e if xploration as I had planned , even ff for S T I could a ord to wait a hip . here fore it followed that I must contrive a The new career . Paul Jones was now

for . bound St . Louis I planned a siege t l of e agains my pi ot , and at the end thre r He to hard days he sur endered . agreed teach me the Mississippi from N ew to for five re Orleans St . Louis hund d of dollars , payable out the first wages I f should receive a ter graduating . I entered upon the small enterprise of ‘learning’ twelve or thirteen hundred miles of the great Mississippi river with of of l f the easy confidence my time i e . If I had real ly known what I was about to o f f not require my aculties , I should have had the courage to “ The work proved hard and disc ouragc for ing the youth , but he finally reached the d esired position o f pilot ; and had the proud satisfaction o f receiving two hun m “ ; Work m . 1 ;

and ft d er th dred fi y ollars p mon . Here remi e for fi ve s he as he a n d year , till w -si x w of twenty , hen the growth railroads “ and the Ci vil War made piloting un a e profit bl .

An ld o a H . o C . s teamb atman , apt in E B x f r f i by , u nishes the ollow ing interesting ’ remi niscences of Mark Twain s ex peri “ ence of a pilot: In 1 8 52 I w as chief on the u a a pilot Pa l Jones , bo t that made occ asional trips from Pittsburg to N ew

O s. One a a a rlean day t ll , angul r , os er- i ke f e s ho i l young ellow , whos limb appeared to be fastened w ith leather h es e d e and in a ing , ntere the pilot hous , li dr w v : pec u ar, a ling oice said ‘ ’ maw ni n sir D ouw Good , . on t y ant to take er piert young f ellow and teac h ’ ’ imhow to be er pilot? ‘ N o sir;there is more bother about it ’ ’ a it s w t th n or h . ‘ ’ wis ou u mister I mer I h y w o ld , . ’ ' rin er b t a it to p t y r de , but don t pear ’ ’ ree wi me and on m to g th , I m y way ent al Amer c a for m hea t e e C r i y l h . I beli v 3¢ M a r k Tw a in

’ ’ k e I ll ma e a tolerable good pilot. c aus I k ’ li e the river . ‘What makes you pull your words ’ that w ay? ‘ ’ k ’ I don t now , mister; you ll have to sk ’ a . n my ma She pulls hern too . Ai t e w a ther some y that we can fix it, so that you ’ll teach me how to be er pilot?’ ‘ ’ Th i s for e only way money . ‘ How much are you going to charge? ’ W for ell , I ll teach you the river

’ Gee w hillikens ! he ! he! I ain t got

’ 00 I ve fi ve s K k k $5 , but got lot in eo u , r o f Ten Iowa, and ac es land in h o nes see that is wort . t w bits an acre any if ’ time . You can have that you want it . “ for I told him I did not care his land , and after talking awhile he agreed to p ay 1 00 s 1 0 $ in c a h , $ 5 in twelve months and h w t e balance hen he became a pilot. w as for He with me a long time , but sometimes took occasional trips w ith

e other pilots . H was always drawling ou dr k s n w e a t y jo e , but the did not p y ” any attention to him .

36 M a rk Tw a if:

his r later yea s adopted by Samuel L. l C emens as a nom de plume. i f a nd Work H l ife . 3 !

AN L F IN NEVADA D GA I ORNIA.

t k o f C i War A the outbrea the iv l , Mark Tw ain was a regularly employed pilot on the riv er steamboat Alonzo s He Child . remained at the wheel until the craft w as converted into a Confederate o f ut ram , the opening the war having p l an end to profitable pi oting . Young Clemens at the age o f twenty f e H our years , return d to annibal , and ’ r enlisted as . a three months voluntee in the Confederate army under General

Price . In a magazine article printed some years since he related his experiences as “ a s a The oldier, in a p per entitled Pri ‘e Failed vate History of a Campaign that . The following is his account o f the or ga ni zation of the company “ I was visiting in the small town where my boyhood had been spent H M C : of annibal , arion ounty Several us got together in a secret place by night and formed ourselves into a military n m . O e o company T Lyman , a young fellow of a good deal o f S pirit but o f no r milita y experience , was made captain ; w as We I made second lieutenant . had no first lieutenant ; I do not know why ; as f of it w long ago . There were fi teen us B o f . y the advice an innocent con nec ted w e with the organization , called M R ourselves the arion angers . I do not remember that any one found fault with I the name . I did not ; thought it sounded he quite well . T young fellow who pro posed this title was perhaps a fair sample of the kind o f stuff we w ere made of.

He r - was young , igno ant , good natured ,

e - f o f w ll meaning , trivial, ull romance , and given to reading chivalric novels and si n f r n - ue He ngi g o lor love d ti s . had ' ' E s L r i na Work if . 3 9

C: e k - some pathetic. littl nic el plated aristo nc cratic insti ts , and detested his name ,

w as D t which unlap ; detes ed it , partly because it was nearly as common in that as s region Smith , but mainly becau e it had a plebeian sound to his ear . So he ' tried lo ennoble it by writing it in this " a Unla T hi w a . s y p hat contented eye , but l f for e t his ear unsatisfied , people gar i the new name the same old pro nv nc ia tion— emphasis on the front end o f He s f ‘ it . proved u e ul to us in his way ; n for he amed our camps us , and he gen ‘ ’ erall k y struc a name that was no slouch, " as the boys said . H ef aving been a pilot , and ther ore knowing the channel and being familiar with the points where steamboats would have to hug the shore , Lieutenant Clemens was detailed to special duty on H . e the river was captured and paroled . B eing captured a second time , he was sent to St . Louis , and imprisoned in a

c H toba co warehouse . e got to thinking the matter over— the possibility of being ’ c e to G w he w nt rant s army , by hich as (0 Ma rk Twain

and first captured , to be exchanged , by if z which , recogni ed , he would certainly be shot for a violation o f his parole . He finally succeeded in making his escape

nd s r a started we twa d . President Lincoln had appointed

W N e o f N James . y as Governor evada , O C s h of and rion lemen , an older brot er T Samuel , was selected as erritorial Sec etar r y by the President . Sam joined his brother at Carson City i n the capacity of a f private secret ry , but earing that the influence o f his brother would not be suffi cient to save him if he should be recognized by passing officers or soldiers of U r the nion army , he did not emain C s s long in ar on , but pu hed on to an out o f the way mining camp , called Aurora , where he remained until he fancied the W stormhad blown over . hile in Aurora he wrote a series o f letters to the Vir - C E nter n ite s ginia ity fi , which sub equently resulted in his obtaining an editorial t position upon hat journal . N evada, at that time , was swarming w B ith adventurers . ankrupt tradesmen i ! Li e a nd Work H f . 41

r k f r e we e floc ing there rom other ter itori s . o f for College graduates , tired grubbing k for Gree roots , went there to grub gold M d es and silver . ur erers and thieves , f caped rom justice, gamblers and the outcasts from the citi es joined the throng and society became very lively in the mining towns of the territory The fashionable ornaments o f the day con o f sisted an eight inch revolver , an k s k k Ar an as toothpic and j ac boots . In the mining regions Mark Twain He passed through divers experiences . ’ k z wor ed at day s wages in a quart mill , s M of and was explorer and pro pector . any k f his s etches , a terward incorporated , in ‘ ” “ ” The F R Jumping rog and oughing It , were published at that time in local o r f r Eastern journals . Once o the space o f few f a moments , he owned the amous C s k i s om toc lode , and was worth mill on . He found o ut all this after he had sold the claim . During the winter o f 1 8 6 1 -2 he returned C C for to arson ity a time . There was r little doing at the te ritorial capital , and 42 M a rk Tma in

’ in the rear of Governor N ye s private f f o fice was a com ortable room , where Clemens and the other attaches of the offi ces wiled away the winter days at

s cards and tory telling .

In the spring o f 1 862 he accepted t r. local editorship o f the Virginia City

E nter rise p , and upon that paper utilized for the firs t time his pseudonym of Mark

He Twain . perpetrated many broad k and practical jo es through his paper. His sharp pen caused a man named ) hVillis o f n , then city editor the Virgi ia Union u his T to h nting up record . his res ulted in Clemens sending Willis a challenge to mortal combat . Willis

for would not accept , he said he would not meet auv one on the field o f honor of Hi s s man except a man honor . be t C then challenged lemens , but he too declined on the s ame ground given by

Willis . At that time dueling had j ust been made popular by a meeting between

To m - u o Fitch , the silver tong ed rator;

s T. o and Jo eph Goodman , editor f the nt r r E e ise. But he as p t matter w dropped . one day they got to betting about how far f T some rogs could j ump . hey conceived the idea o f filling one o f the rival frogs f ’ with shot , and did it , and the rog couldn t M k th j ump . ar wrote out the story for e “ E nter rise w a The « p , and in this y Jump ” ing Frog of Calaveras first saw the light t o day . Many interesting anec dotes are told of ’ f V C the humorist s li e in irginia ity , and he tells one himself o f how the funniest thing he ever w rote came to an untimely end and was lost to the world through “ ” ‘ the i nterferanc e o f an editorial com N t w as positor . In evada , at tha time , it the custom o f the proprietor o f every new sk o f i c saloon , to send a ba et his cho est

s ffi for wines to the new paper o ce , and the editor to return the compliment by giving a glowing account of the brilliancy of ff k o f the a air . A bas et unusually choice wine had been sent to the office f o f s one day , rom a saloon a very ari to cratic order that was to be opened . M k t “ ar was o write up the opening. He wrote a few lines in the best of or a nd Work F Life . 45

English and then it began to be badly s f mixed , and as he repre ented bottle a ter bottle as having been sampled , approved f and emptied , he dri ted into worse and f Worse con usion , until finally the article as as t s w all tangled up , migh be suppo ed o f a man who had drank a basket o f the mixed wines . When paper came out Mark could not find hi S ‘ cherished f article , but instead ound a short para graph setting forth i n the most common k of place way , that a bas et wines had f Mr been received rom . and that M k they were very fine , etc . ar was mad and found that one o f the printers The f was responsible . ello w said he k o f could not ma e head or tail the copy , Mr s and thought . Clemen must have been drunk when he wrote i t,so he tore U the it p and substituted paragraph . The humorist mourned long for the loss o f the article which he could not re produce , and to this day believes that it was the most brilliant of any of his pro tions f duc . , even be ore or since hi M During t s period in his career , ark 46 M a rk Tw a in

gave to the world many of the short k f humorous s etches that made him amous . He had already acquired a name on the C s Pacific oa t , and his newspaper articles were beginning to attract attention east M of the Rocky ountains . Among these “ ’ ” k s The U k C s etche were nderta er s hat , “ ” “ The M an The M ar Petrified , and

‘ ’ B M o f velons loody assacre . Some the quaintest and brightest things which have appeared under his name originally enlivened the pages o f the E nterp rise its m a o f r with cri son c talogue murde s ,

duels and Judge Lynch executions . In 1 8 63 the Gould and Curry mine on the Comstock paid div idends amounting

1 00 0 to $ to $ 1 5 a share . Whenever a

dividend was declared , the San Francisco B ulletin f f , a ter announcing the act , would “ add Wmde r if this dividend w as cooked? A certain San Francisco s C capitali t , being in Virginia ity one day f o f a ter one these monthly queries , told o f f the cause them . It is a act that one mining company had hired money and T w as D declared a dividend . his the ana 4 91} [l e a nd Work if . 47

. J m1ne w h1c h had f o f ore but , never a oot r the dividend raised the price of the stock h the to a respectable figure , at whic f s k owners thereof disposed o their toc . This San Francisco capitalist stated that this swindle had caught the proprietors “ o f v But thatjournal somewhat hea ily . , “ he if B ulletzn added , the wants to find a company nearer home which i s borrow ~ d ing money to pay divi ends , I can give s The you an in tance in point . Spring Valley Water Company has hired money v s s to pay its two la t dividend , and all the big fish are getting out and letting the

'fish little in . Perhaps that might attract ’ i that journal s ind gnation also . Twain and another writer emp loyed on the E nterp rise counseled together on t he improbability o f a plain notice o f the fact ’ o f the Spring Valley Water C ompany s

—é - hiring money to pay dividends made , as it s — mu t be , in a country journal would attract any notice whatever in the metro politan press . Accordingly , in order to overcome the diffi culty surrounding the “ ” w as d country location , the matter hel (8 M a rk Tw a i n

d s for under a vi ement one day , much to s o f the di gust the San Francisco capitalist . On the second day Mark announced that he had surmounted the “ country ” ffi di culty , and , sure enough , he had .

of Accordingly , in the local columns the E nterp rise the next morning appeared an account o f a terrible tragedy that had been committed in the great pine forest between Empire City and Dutch N ick ’s ”

f The . the day be ore. story went on t o s H k who tate that a man named op ins , resided there , and who had owned mil C k lions in the omstoc , had been induced to sell out his entire mining interests by a rela ti ve o f w as o f his , who one the editors o f B ull etin B s the . y the same advi e he had invested every dollar in the Spring Valley W ater Company , and , on learning that its two last dividends had been paid with borrowed money , he became so violently h f sane , that he murdered his wi e and ss thirteen children , under the impre ion that they would come to immediate want . The next day Mark published a c a rd in which he took it all back except the way the money had been procured to pay “ k the dividends , and adding that it too a fearful tragedy to get any truth into a s San Francisco new paper any how . H s J . . Stebbin , an old time printer, ’ relates the following incident o f Twain s “ life i n Virginia City ° Clemens was

l e E nler rise local reporter on p , and I was a printer on the same paper. C k lemens was writing humorous s etches , but his fame as a humoris t was young He i k yet . was an nveterate smo er, and smoked the foulests melling p ipe i n Vir ’ al l e f ginia City by odds . Cl mens o fice

s o ff - was j u t the composing room , and t although prin ers , as a rule , are not s s squeami h about pipes and things, thi pipe was breeding a revolution . It smelled so infernally bad that we always ‘ ’ spoke of it as The Remains . There w ere numerous plots suggested to get ’ The R o f emains out the way , but we hes itated about putting them into ex ec u tion when we learned that it was a pipe o f considerable value , and one that he cherished on account o f its associations or 5 0 M a rk Tw a in

w a s something . It clear , however, that

s omething had to be done , and we finally concluded to present Clemens with a new We had ff f pipe . su ered so much rom the old pipe o f a thousand smells that w e felt justified in making him the victim o f k i f a jo e , we could , and so we scoured the town and bought the cheapest pipe we could find that would pass after night

for a good one . I think it cos t thirty f t . One cen s night , a ter we had the al l paper up , we filed solemnly out into the local - room and presented Clemens e with the pipe . W threw as much cere s s mony into the pre entation as po sible . One o f the boys made an address that ff He a k was really a ecting . t l ed about

o f o f the t ilers in the pro ession j ournalism , their long nights o f labor when all the rest o f the world w as wrapped in peace ful k i slumber . Then he wor ed n some o f the poetry about tobacco and the s olace ff He k of it a orded the tired brain. spo e the warm friendship that exis ted between the local department and the composing

room , and hoped nothing w ould ever

‘ 57 M a rk Tw a zn

through which he shoved copy , we saw himbrushing the ashes off his desk and clothes and swearing softly in a very ’ He picturesque manner . didn t say a word to us about the pipe or its fate,and a you bet we said nothing to him . It w s e vident , however , that he had done some k for ffi thin ing , he appeared at the o ce ‘ next night complacently smoking The Remains He had gone down into the ” k b de bac yard and un d it up . V C M k ‘T From irginia ity , ar wain drifted as a matter of course to San Franc i sc o — the harbor o f all adventurers He w as on the coast . in a chronic state of impecuniosity when he arrived at the He f Golden Gate . had urnished some correspondence to the M orning Ca ll from N ffi o f evada , and to the o ce that news l k f paper he immediate y betoo himsel . He k He wanted wor and money . wore f ’ a ragged elt hat , a soldier s blue over f coat , and pantaloons which had ormed a ' passing acquaintance with the tops o f his

B a . w s boots George arnes, who at that

" o f Ca ll o t me editor the , told him to g : e a nd Work H! l if , 5 3

to k an w or the next day , and gave him order on the business offi ce for money

enough to make himself look respectable . The next day Twain took possess ion of for his chair, and six weary months Barnes tried to get some work out o f

him . A o f t the end that time , in his good M k natured way , he tried to let ar down to and out easily and politely , by saying “ M k ’ k him , ar , don t you thin you are wasting your time and talents in doing local w ork?” “ W ?” M k hat do you mean said ar . Wh k y , I thin with your style and talent you could make more money wri ting for fi rst - class magazines than in rk such wo as you are doing now . “ That means that you don ’t want me ?” f any more , I suppose and he put his eet sk on the de and smiled blandly at Barnes . “ W k ' ell , I thin you are better fitted ” for of k that class wor . “The fact is you have come to the c onclusion that I am not the kind of a man ou y want. 5 4! M a rk Tw a in

W if ell , you will have it , said “ the Ba rnes . You are not . You are

aziest f - for- , most shi tless , good nothing specimen I ever saw around a newspaper f for o fice . I have tried six months to k o f f get some wor out you and ailed , and I have come to the conclusion that it is

useless to keep you any longer . “ B ” T arnes , replied wain , in his most lac 1d p manner , you are not as smart a

man as I thought you were . You have n been six months in findi g that out,

k da k and I new it the y I came to wor . Give us an order on the office for three ’ ” s day pay and I git . One of the printers employed upon Call f r f the at the time , u nishes the ollow ing reminiscence One evening Clemens came into our

room where we were s hining our boots. “W ’ ” k s ? . hat s up , boy he as ed W ’ ” e re going to the theatre . ’ ’ But i t s not seven yet , you ve plenty ” of C s time , said lemens , itting down on “ o f a the corner the bed . I w nt to tell s t you a good tory , and he proceeded o ork 157i: Life a nd W . 55 entertain us with an account of his latest T o f practical joke . his reminded him a personal experience on a steamboat , which in turn led to a graphic description o f

He k his life on the Mississippi . tal ed on s s s without pau e , holding our clo e t inter

f o i est , by his art ul blending humor , t pathos , vivid descrip ion and thrilling l k o ff incident , until at ength , brea ing suddenly , he said with a laugh W o i f ’ “ ell , b ys , you re going to the ’ ” off theater , it s time you were . “ e r o ur s W d ew watche . It was eleven ’ k o cloc .

His love for. practical joking while

1i v1n i n C f f fol g ali ornia , called orth the lowing from a San Francisco pape r some years ago “ There have been moments in the lives o f various kind - hearted and respectable c z s o f C f r N v iti en ali o nia and e ada , when , i f Mark Twain were before them as members of a vigilance committee for a ny - n mild crime , such as mule steali g or i s f f arson , it to be eared his shri t would

s W r have been hort . hat a d amatic 5 6 M a r k I w a in

picture the idea conjures up , to be sure ! M k f s s f d ar , be ore tho e hone t men , in uriate k by his practical j o es , trying to show them what an innocent creature he was w ' hen it came to mules , or how the only policy o f fire insurance he held had ho w o f lapsed , void guile he was in any direction , and all with that inimitable d drawl , that perplexe countenance , and k o f f f the peculiar scraping bac the le t oot , like a boy speaking his first piece at f n school . It is but air to say that the fu that Mark mixed up for citizens in those days was not altogether appreciated i n the o f for o midst it, s me one , touched too sur e ba t a nza r i a l z ' uid M k sharply , g o , and ar had another denouncer joined to the ” wounded throng . “ I think I may justly claim to having kept Mark Twain in the realms of liter M c Comb ature , said General John to “ 1 8 6 M the writer not long ago . In 4 ark Twain was city editor of the M or ning Ca ll . In those days the city editor of a San Francisco newspaper had something k k else to do than sit at his des , ma e out ’ fi is L e a na Work if . 5 7 d s M k etail and read copy . ar used gen erall k for y to loo out the late police news, w ould report a lecture or anything that k tafi came to hand . I thin the local s of i s f then consisted h m el and one reporter . ’ Things did not go exactly to Mark s k li ing ;he detested police reporting , and would not go to the City Hall any oftener i He w as of than he was obl ged to . out hi s c onse sphere , he thought , and , as a uenc e s di satisfied q , u ed to be with the world in general and newspaperwork in One particular . morning I met him at the corner of Clay and Montgomery We k Streets . stopped , shoo hands , and he said ‘ ’ M ac w r , I ve done my last ne spape k ’ k ’ wor ;I m going bac East . ‘ ’ W ? sk hat do you mean I a ed . ‘ ” “ ’ W r i ell , he replied , I ve been t y ng o f k to get out this wor a long while . Sometime since I made application

f W for through some riends at ashington , an appointment as Government pilot on M e the ississippi River . I have just r c eived notification that my applic ation M a rk Tw a in

f The was success ul . salary is $300 per k month , and it is not hard wor . “ I was a great deal surprised and dis‘ C appointed . lemens and I had become f warm riends , and I had conceived a high r for r u egard his lite ary ability , altho gh I could see he w as more or less hampered by his surroundings . I determined to do what I could to cause him to recon hi s IVith sider determination . this object ‘ s in view I aid to him Sam , you are k s k o f f T ma ing the mi ta e your li e . here is a better place for you than a Mississippi o f steamboat . You have a style writing that is fresh and original and i s bound to If ’ k be popular . you don t li e the tread k of s k mill wor a new paper man , stri e up

k s k higher ; write s etche , write a boo ; ’ k for u ff you ll find a mar et yo r stu , and in time you ’ll be appreciated and get more money than you can standing

s o f along ide the wheel a steamboat . ’ There s nothing i n this pilot b usiness ‘ either . You say you are to get $300 a ’ month — that s in greenbacks you x c

’ o 00 member . N w $3 in greenbacks won t

60 . M a rk Tw a in

r a f Captain Edwa d Poole , a very be uti ul

o woman , and as bright and witty as bean f d ti ul , came along and stopped and hel “ Wh M k out her hand , saying y , ar , ” where are y o u going in such a hurry? “ ’ ” m-o - o - v - M k I m ing , drawled ar , at the sam e time opening the cigar box

s s o f k di clo ing a pair blue soc s , a pipe and two paper collars . He for never cared the ladies , was in fact a fi sh out o f water when he happened W on to be near them . hile employed ’ Alta s k the daily , he called at a dre sma er s s s for n e tabli hment , and ten mi utes

ss of d f e addre ed a wax figure a la y, be or s k discovering his mi ta e . In the spring of 1 8 65 he became in terested with Bret Harte in the conduct

f Ca l ornia n h - o the if . \V ile sub editor of that magazine he produced many sketches o f merit which were widely copied in the

Eastern press . In a series of articles entitled Ans wers ” C s e the to orre pondents , contribut d to Ca l ornia n f if , appeared the ollowing ‘ ’ - IM ON IVHEE ER S onora The ol. S L , . f ’ Hi: t ? a na Work 61 I ] . lowing simple and touching remarks and accomp anyi n g poem have just come to hand from the rich gold- mining region of Sonora

‘ ' T0 M r M a rk Tw a in: The W , ithin

rs s o t pa on , which I have to poetry under " the name and sty le o f He Done His ’ B s w a s s Level e t , one among the white t ’ v man men I ever see , and it ain t e ery that knowed him that can find it in hi s ’ heart to say he s glad the poor cuss rs

o busted and g ne home to the States . He was here in an early day , and he ’ w as the handy est man about takin holt o r anything that come along you most

He a c h f . w s a ee r ul ever see , I judge , ’ ’ ’ tirri n c retur s , always doin something , and no man can say he ever see him do ’ anything by halvers Preac hin was his w ’ natural gait , but he arn t a man to lay back and tw idle his thums because there ’ ’ ’ didn t happen to be nothin doin in his

— own especial line no , sir , he was a man who would meander forth and sti r up for ss f Hi s something hi el . last acts was ’ ‘ ” ’ to go to his pile o kings - a na (c alklati n 63 M a rk Tw alk

’ t o fill but which he didn t fill) when ' ‘ ’ h h s t ere was a u h out agin him , and

o usee u . nat rally , y , he went under And so ou he was cleaned out , as y may say ,

k the - f and he struc home trail , cheer ul k k e but flat bro e . I nowed this talent d k s if man in Ar an aw , and you would print this humbly tribute to his gorgis o blee e hi abilities , you would greatly g s ’ o nha f i pp y r end .

HE DON E HIS LE V E L BES T.

“ Was he mining o n the fl at He d o ne it w ith a zest ; Wa s he a lea ding o f the c hoir He d o n his lev l e e e b st.

’ ’ If he d re l r task to do a g a , He ne ve r t o o k no rest ; ’ O r if twas o ff- and -o n— the same He d o e his lev l b st n e e .

’ If he w as rea c hin on his b a p e t, ’ He d t ra m fro e st to w st p m a e , And no rth to s o uth— ln c o ld and heat He d o e his level bes n t.

’ He d yank a sinner o uten And land himwi th the blest ; ’ Then snatc h a p rayet h w alw in age? And d o hi s e e l v l best. ’ is L e a na Work 0 H if . 3

’ He d c uss and s ing a nd ho wl and p And d anc e a nd d rink and es j t, i nd lie and s teal— all one to him He done his level best

’ a e er hi man w as s o to d o Wh t t s t , He d o ne it W1th a zes t ; o matter w hat his c ontr c t was N a , ’ He d d his level bes o t. ‘ Oc tober ,

‘ Verily this man was gi fted with gorgis ’ b s a ilities , and it is a happine s to me to

e m r of mbalm the emo y , their lustre in

If r these columns . it we e not that the p o et crop is unusually large and rank in C f e ali ornia this year , I would encourag n you to continue writi g , Simon ;but as it

r sk is , pe haps it might be too ri y in you s s o to enter again t much opposition . The nomadic taint ran riot in the blood of h M k T B H bot ar wain and ret arte , and

s Ca li ornia n . hey one day de erted the f , and started inland for another delusive ex per i ment for n in mining gold . O returning

F C f hi s to San rancisco , lemens ound health failing and made arrangements to go to the Sandwich Islands as a news s o B f paper corre p ndent . e ore his departure 6¢ M a rk Tw a in he held his first interview with Artemus W of ard , the published report which was

Widely quoted . He in 8 66 for H sailed 1 onolulu . There was a wedding on board the M k vessel , and ar gave away the bride . The groom w as greatly vexed over the of absence a wedding ring , when Mark reached up and pulled off one o f the huge curta in rings large enough to ’ he H go around t girl s two arms . e held it i n position o n her finger at the proper s he k time , and as was a remar ably pretty girl h e took good care to exercise his o f k s privilege is ing her at the close . H Arriving in onolulu , he proceeded to write up the sugar plantations , and descriptions o f life and character on the Hi s islands . letters were very readable . They were mostly publis hed in the

r Union He Sac amento . wrote , among s t s other thing , a mos thrilling de cription of a burning crater some miles around , full o f white and red heated crystal fire

r a c ave ns and crimson lav . There is a touch of wondrous beauty ’ is Li e a na Work H f . 63 in his picture o f the Sandwich Island! w ritten some years after :

“ - N o alien land in all the world has any

s for . a deep , trong , charm me but th t one , no other land could so longingly and so

S beseechingly haunt me , leeping and w ki f f a ng , through hal a li etime as that O t one has done . ther hings leave me , but it abides; other things change , but it remains the same . For me its balmy i a rs are always blowing, its summer seas the s of s f flashing in sun , the p ul ing its ur beat is in my ear ; I can see its garlanded s crags , its leaping ca cades , its plumy s S palms drow ing by its hore , its remote summits floating like islands above the cloud rack ; I can feel the spirit of its c an woodland solitudes . I hear the plash o f its brooks ;in my nostrils still lives the breath o f flowers that perished twenty years ago . And these world wanderers who sit before us here have lately looked es ! o f upon th e things and with eyes flesh , no t sf of the unsati ying vision the spirit. ” I envy them that! The c limate of Hawaii soon restored 60 M ark Tw a in

f f ab him to per ect health , and a ter an o f t w o sence months , he returned to San s Franci co , with renewed spirits , and with

- f his world wide ame still before him.

’ 66 M a rk Tw a in

“ r C See he e , lemens , said he , I need ’ f- k a hal dozen good jo es . Get em up and

’ r I ll give you five dolla s . ” M k Sorry , old man , answered ar , f ’ f thought ully , but I m a raid the scheme

’ ” won t work . “ ” Why not? W f ’ d — d ell , the act is . I m so poor, i f I was found with $5 on my person people would say I stole them ; on the if o t off other hand , you g any decent

k s a s jo es people would y you tole them , ” too .

1 8 6 d Mul In January 7 , Stod ard and ford gave several s uccess ful public enter tainments in San Francisco , and fired M k T f with ambition , ar wain started orth upon a lecture tour through the smaller cities o f California and N evada . In those days most any sort of an enter tai nment brought out a crowd , and when it was announced one day in Carson City that Mark was to deliver a lecture. for

' benefit of r the something or othe , at the C e u Episcopal hurch , it was gen rally n Hi s L t: a nd Work 6 if . 9 derstood that the house would be crowded . “ W ‘ ell , the night arrived writes a f M k as riend who was present . ar c ended the steps into the pulpit about ’ 8 k o f o cloc , there being a whole lot the

fr of boys and young women , iends his , as well as a good many old people in f M k . bo w ront ar made a very polite , and then unfolded a gigantic roll o f brown s paper . People thought at fir t it was a map , but it turned out to be his lecture ’ written on great sheets of gro cers brown ’ s k paper , with an ordinary grocer mar ing us f hi s his br h . A ter bow he turned back around to the audience and craned his head up to the lamp and thus read from the big sheets as though it would be impossible for him to see any other way . “ ‘ The lecture was on The Future o f N ’ f evada , and was the unniest thing I He ever heard . prophesied the great era of prosperity that was before us and sought to encourage us residents of the sagebrush region by foretelling what 70 M a rk Tw a m appeared to be Golconda - like tales o f s R impo sible mineral discoveries . ight o f on the heels it , however , came the k s of C remar able di coveries Virginia ity , ’ and then we thought he wasn t so far off in his humorous productions . Many a time have I thought o f that lecture o f M k T ar wain . It ought to have been k published . I have read all his boo s , and I never saw anything in any of them ” better than this . Mr C For several months . lemens con tinned this platfor m experience with profit , the while writing interesting letters to the Eas tern newspapers and k contributing s etches to the periodicals . M 1 8 6 s In arch 7 , he publi hed his first “ ” k The o f C boo , Jumping Frog alaveras , o f f k a collection his best ugitive s etches, and this immediately aroused public at tention , not only in America but also in

England .

.Soon after he sailed for N ew York by of way Panama , and upon arriving there , having found that his little volume was for well received , arranged an English Hi : L e a nd Work if .

di M r e tion , which was published by ess s . R of outledge Sons London . From N e w York Mark proceeded to W ashington , where he endeavored to earn 'his living by writing letters to the Aim San Francisco , and delivering a His lecture or t w o . lecture experience W f in ashington was brie but interesting , and he tells all about it in his inimical

as f way , ollows “ ’ W no w ell , , I ll have to tell you some It thing about that lecture . was a little the hardest and roughest experience I ever underwent in my whole career a s a , N o w lecturer . , I had not been in Washington more than a day or two before a friend of mine came to my room r k at the hotel early one mo ning , wa ened

of e nearI me out a sound sle p , and y stunned me by asking if I was aware of the fac t that I was to deliver a lecture at

Lincoln hall that evening . I told him n t h o, and hat e must be crazy to get out bf bed at such an unseemly hour t o ask f B such a oolish question . ut he soon ass ured me that he was perfectly sane by ’ 72 M a r k Tw a zn

s i howing me the morning papers , wh ch all announced that Mark Twain was to lecture that evening. and that his subject ‘ ’ h s s T would be T e Sandwich I land . o say that I was surprised would be putting

for it mildly . I was mad , I thought some one had put up a game on me . “ W f ell , on care ul inquiry , I learned that an old theatrical friend o f mine f thought he would do me a avor . So he made all the necessary arrangements for o f me to lecture , with the exception the slight circumstance that he neglected to f o f o f He in orm me any his intentions . r ented Lincoln hall , billed the town , and sent the news papers advertisements and notices about the coming lecture . And the worst o f it was he had done all his k f wor thoroughly . A ter learning this I w as i in a d lemma . I had never prepared

s . any lecture on the Sandwich I lands , What w as I to do ? I could not back out by telling the people that I w as unp re N o f . o pared , that was out the que stion , ’ because the people wouldn t believe it . The billing of the town had been too w ell His L e a nd Wax /k if . 73

as done for that . So there w only one f for ancf thing le t me to do , that was to lock myself in my room and write that lecture between the breakfas t hour and

- f s s ha . W hal pa t even t t evening ell , I at d did it , and was on hand the a vertised

f o f s c hour , acing one the bigge t audien es

r I ever add essed . “ I did not use my manuscript , but in those days I always had my lecture in k it: writing , and ept on a reading stand at one end o f the place where I stood on latformx I the p , , was very good at mem o rizi n e g , and rarely had any troubl in speaking without notes ; but the very fact that I had my manuscript near at hand

where I could readily turn ,to it without having to undergo the mortifi c ati on o f

f k me pulling it rom my poc et , gave courage and kept me from making aw k s But ward pause . the writing o f that Sandwich Island lecture in one day was s the toughe t job ever put on me . Ione afternoon While sitting in his k dingy little room , smo ing his cob pipe , Mark became deeply interested in reading 74 M a r k Tw a in about the contemplated trip o f the steam! ” s hip Quaker City to Europe and the H o f hi s oly Land , and saw the chance f He o Mc li e . wr te to General John C o f s o f omb , one the proprietor the San

D a il Alta Ca l or nia sk Francisco y if , a ing for o f an advance in gold , propos

a s 1 i ng to p y it in letter at $ 5 apiece . It w as no small request to make o f a San ’ ’ s s 6o s Franci co new paper in the , but Mc Comb induced his partners to grant the request . That was ho w Mark Twain formed one o Pthe party who sailed in the steamshi p “ ” k C C D for Qua er ity , aptain uncan , an extended excursion to Palestine and the ff Holy Land . This voyage to the di erent s eaports o f Southern Europe and the Orient gave him an opportunity o f whi ch he made abundant use The excursion w as o f ff a very exclusive sort a air , and Captain Duncan is authority for the s tatement that Clemens had represented himself when he applied for passage on “ ” k C B r the Qua er ity , as a aptist ministe i n f ill health , rom San Francisco .

70 M ark Tw o in

of . a street, but every house, every window every clinging vine , every proj ection were markgd as clearly as it were at noonday; and yet there was no glare , no

litt nothin s s The er . g , , g har h or repul ive harshes t city w as flooded with the yellowes t light that ever streamed from s k n the moon , and eemed li e some livi g t f crea ure wrapp ed in peace ul slumber . n f r s O its urthe ide was a little temple , whose delicate pillars and ornate front glowed with a rich lustre that chained k a the eye li e a spell ; and ne rer by , the palace o f the king reared its creamy walls out o f the mist o f a great garden o f s fiec ked hrubbery , that was all over with a random shower of amber lights— a s pray of golden sparks that lost their ss of brightne in the glory the moon , and glinted softly upon the sea o f dark foliage k of k li e the pallid star the mil y way . O verhead the stately columns , majestic f still in their ruin ; under oot , the dream

the ing city; in distance , the silver sea . The picture needed nothing . It was f ” per ect . Hi ? L e a nd Work if . 77

i Equally realistic , vivid and interest ng were his sketches o f scenesand incidents

Of ex eri in Palestine and Egypt . his p

l r as ence with a came in Syria , he w ote f o f s : ollows , in a vein the riche t humor “ r of In Sy ia , at the headwaters the

r k o f Jo dan , a camel too charge my over

r coat while the tents we e being pitched , and examined it with a critical eye , all

r i f over , with as much inte est as he had an ide a of g etting one made like it; and a f r then , ter he was done figu ing on it as o f an article apparel , he began to con template it as an article o f dieti He f f o f put his oot on it , and li ted one the s leeves out with his teeth , and chewed k and chewed at it , gradually ta ing it in , and all the while opening and closing

s k o f s s a his eye in a ind religious ec ta y, s i f he had never tasted anything so goo d as an overcoat before in his life Then he k smac ed his lips once or twice , and f N reached a ter the other sleeve . ext he the tried velvet collar , and smiled a smile of such contentment that it was plain to see that he regarded that as the daintiest 78 M a rk Tw a in

The thing about an overcoat . tails went next , along with some percussion caps fi aste f and cough candy , and some gp rom

Constantinople. And then my news s d paper corre pon ence dropped out , and he took a chance in that— manuscript letters written for the home papers . But he w as treading on dangerous ground no w He . began to come across solid wis dom in those documents that was weighty on his s tomach ;and occasionally he would take a j oke that would shake him up t ill it loosened his teeth ; it was be s getting to perilou times with him , but he held his grip with good courage f s and hope ully , till at la t he began to stumble on s tatements that not even a

He camel could swallow with impunity . s began to gag and ga p , and his eyes to his f s s stand out , and oreleg to pread , and in about a quarter of a minute he fell ’ ff as k over as sti a carpenters wor bench ,

o f and died a death indescribable agony . I went and pulled the manuscript out of his f the mouth , and ound that sensitive creature had choked to death on one of 7 [1723 e a rza Work s . ?9 the mildest and gentlest statements o f fact that I ever laid before a trusting ” public . The trip of the Quaker City was es of not d igned as a lengthy tour Europe , but merely a midsummer excursion o f a fe n B f w . mo ths rie as was the voyage , M k T o f however , ar wain made the most it , and gathered material not only enough u in q antity to produce a large volume , but enough in quality to give him ever f lasting ame .

R N ew k eturning to Yor , he proceeded W to ashington , where he commenced a new career , as the special correspondent o f C newspapers in San Francisco , hicago , w and else here . 8 0 M a rk Tw a m

V.

' HIS FIRST LITERARY SUOOBFl

During the following wi nter Mark T N wain sojourned at the ational capital , working at odd moments upon the initial ” f Hi s chapter o his Innocents Abroad . Bohemian habits were retained in every s particular, at lea t the statement is war: ’ ranted by a triend who writes of Mark s life at this time “ His f t hi s room was a per ec , . chaos s On table a curio ity in its way . it could — f be. seen anything rom soiled manuscrip t s He a to old boot . never laid his p p er o ec n the table when writing , partly b ause h an t ere was no available space d. partly becaus e the position so necessitated w as ’ b is e a nd Work 8 1 s .

f too much for his lazy bones . With both eet s k plunged in manu cript , chair tilted bac and note- book and pencil in hand he did

a all the writing I ever s w him do . An ordinary atmosphere would not sufli c e to ’ of M k i set in motion the stream ar s deas . It must first be thoroughly saturated w ith ’ k ufied the vilest tobacco smo e , which he p from a villainous pipe— said pipe having never received a cleaning as many newspaper friends of those days can testify He regarded this pipe as his f k salvation rom bores , ta ing a ghastly delight in puffi ng away like a locomotive when an undesirable visitor dropped in , and eagerly watching the paleness which gradually crept over the face of the enemy ' stufi k as the poisonous got in its wor . O ne day while Mark was busily en k gaged with his wor , in his dingy little

- f room , a tall , sallow aced man , with a s o f n miserable expres ion countena ce , and a deep , consumptive cough , entered the an s at room and without invitation down . T C i urning to the visitor , lemens sa d “W ” ell . 8 2 M a rk Tw a in

The visitor said Well . “ ” What can I do for you? asked the humorist . “ ’

W . ell , nothin in particular I heard ’ em say that you are the man that s f write unny things , and as I have several hours to loaf around before the train l leaves , I thought I wou d come around and get you to make me laugh a little. I ’ ain t had a good laugh in many a day, and I didn ’t know but what you mout ” accommodate me . C lemens scowled at the man , who , thinking that the humorist was present o f f fun ing him with a specimen acial , began to titter . ’ ’ ’ That ll fu do st rate , cap n , but I d k k ruther hear you tal . I can ma e a month at a man about as easy as any f ’ ’ ellow you ever saw , an w at I want is a ’ few words from you that ll jolt me li ke a k ” wagin had bac ed agin me . “ M f - y riend , I am very busy to day ,

k Yes, I now all that . I am very ’ f I e busy mysel , except that v got about

84 M a rk Tw a in

W — ell , Gabe , my youngest wah , hoo, ’ — wah , hoo ain t as peart as he mout be , ’ ’ s ti rri n t but all the others air . You ain ” c hillun k ? got no , I rec on ” N o vi , the humorist replied , as he g orousl ff y pu ed his pipe . “ ’ W for T ell , I m sorry you . har ’ ’ ’ ain t nothin that adds to a man s nac hul k c hillun T enjoyment li e . hat boy Gabe , ’ ’ k s w what I was tal in about j e t now , y , I ’ wouldn t give him up fur the finest yoke ” of steers you ever seen . “ You wouldn ’t?” ’ ’ N o sir , wouldn t tech em with a ten ’ f - f k oot pole would re use em pine blan . ’ Podner — w ah , don t you wah , hoo , , hoo — think it’s a gettin’ a little too clost in here now?” “ N o , not a bit, j ust right . W ’ k ell , I don t now the style in this ’ ’ place , but I ll try an put up with it . After a moment ’s silence the visitor continued “ ’ W f h Mur— hen I le t ome , that s my ‘ w if - N ow e said to me , says she, , say , ' w i e ou that k c ob h l y are . don t smo e that l Hi s [ o a nd Work y . 85

f wanted to ollow her advice ,

m — — but I put y wah , hoo , wah , hoo , old f ’ ’ ’ ’ uzee in my jeans , an now I b l eve I ll take a smoke”; He k of too out a cob pip e , and a twist k his new tobacco , nown in neighborhood “ ” T off h f as ough Sam , whittled a and ul , f filled his pipe , lighted it , placed his eet k M k on the stove and went to wor . ar ' snufl f soon began to the oul air , but he mi n The was deter ned to sta d it . x visitor o k k k M k blew sm e li e a tar iln . ar grew B of restless . eads cold perspiration began Th to gather on his brow . rowing down k his pipe , he hastily unloc ed the door, n k and fled . O the sidewal he met a f riend . “‘ ’ ” H C s ? ello , lemens, what the matter T wain related what had occurred . “ Oh mean that fel o b , you l w in rown ?” jeans “ Yes . You ought to have had better sens e o ” than to light y ur pipe i n his presence . “ ” WhY? 86 M a rk Tw a in)

-“ ’ Because he s a member of the Ar kansas Legislature . M W . U illiam Stewart , nited States f N w as i Senator rom evada , an acqua nt of i ance the humorist at th s time , and some years since , while in a reminiscent f “ k mood , related the ollowing I new M k T W s ar wain in a hington , at a time

’ u He when he was witho t money . told me his condition and said he was very

k He s anxious to get out his boo . howed me his notes and I saw that they would make a great book and probably bring

fo him in a rtune . I promised that I would ‘stake ’ him until he had the book m k written . I ade him a cler to my com mittee 6 in the senate, which paid him $ per day ;then I hired a man for $ 1 00 per the k month to do wor . “ I then had rooms on F street in a s k hou e which was ept by an ancient lady . She belonged to an old Southern family whose property was lost during the war o f the rebellion . I had three large rooms on the second floor and there was al so a h l al room . I was very anxious that S am ’ ’ i s l e a na Work H é . 87 s hould stick to his work until he finished s s it , as I was almo t as much intere ted as k he . I too him to live with me , and s e gave him the hall room to leep in . H did his work in the room which I had s He k fix ed up as a tudy . would wor

da e during the y , and in the vening he h f would read me w at he had written , a ter which he would stroll out about the city He for recreation . usually returned to his hall bedroom about midnight and

would sit up until nearly morning , read k ing , smo ing , whistling and singing. “ His noise used to be a source of great

annoyance to the landlady . She w as very nervous and unable to sleep when

any gas was burning in the house . She regarded Sam as a very careless fellow ’ and I don t think she liked him very

well . She came to me one morning with her eyes swollen and her appearance alto gether betokening a very dilapidated

h ha condition . She said s e d been unable to sleep all night and that in fact for a e k w e she had been losing sleep . Sam was e of sh the caus all her trouble , and e “ 88 M a rk Tw a m

told me how he remained up all the night

burning gas and creating a rumpus . I ’ informed Sam o f the landlady s complaint and told him he ought to go to bed at a reasonable hour and not frighten the old

lady . Sam replied that that was all the fun he had , but he promised to mend his ways and I thought no more o f the mat

ter. “ In a week the landl ady came to me

again , and this time with tears in her s s he k t e eyes . She aid new she was c ei ving a very handsome rent from me for the as rooms , and that she also w aware she could not rent them again dur she ing the season, but was compelled to ask me to give them up on account o f the r way M . Clemens was wearing her life f r for out . I elt t uly sorry the old lady . I called Sam in and repeated to him what

. hi m the landlady had said I told I would thrash him i f I ever heard another

complaint . I said I did not want to turn him out because I wanted him to finish his k He e o f s t e boo . mad one his mart es at th pli e expense of the landlady, and I told him I would thrash him then and He a f a there. begged in most piti ul w y for me not to do so , and I could not help laughing . “ Seein g that he had gotten me i nto a good humor again he msaid that he w ould not annoy the old wo an again , but that he would certainly get even with me for having threatened to thrash him i f it k ” too him ten years to do so. During the winter spent in Washing ton Mark wrote many newspaper letters o f and a large number short , humorous “ T e e the articles . hes includ Facts in ” C o f B f Contrac t and ase the Great ee , the account o f his resignation as clerk of the e c e senat ommittee on conchology . H “ also wrote Riley— N ewspaper Corres ” p ondent which attracted a vast amount l as o f attention and w liberally quoted . M 1 868 he for In arch , , sailed San Fran for o f s cisco , the purpose arranging ome trivial business matter on the Pacific C He f m oast . was absent about ive onths i to N ew k return ng Yor about August . While i n Californi a and on board the 90 M a rk Tac'a in

the steamship en route , he completed o f his manuscript “Innocents Abroad , or ” he e t N w Pilgrim Progress . Meanwhile the San Francisco Alta had ’ Mr secured copyright upon . Clemen s f H letters rom the oly Land . General Mc Comb f o f J ohn , always the riend the struggling author , finally persuaded his a n Alta ffi n p rt ers in the o ce ,to surre der M k T e the copyright , and ar wain becam “ the owner o f The Innocents “ n N ew k f I Yor , upon his return rom F San rancisco , he resumed his newspaper correspondence , and in a letter to the C Re ublica n N ew k hicago p , dated Yor , A 1 1 8 68 ugust 7 , , he devoted three columns to an account o f his return voyage from f He f the Cali ornia . care ully reviewed m o f C f atter ali ornia immigration , and the changes that had taken place in San Fran He cisco since his previous visit. de C scribed the Panama anal , and vividly portrayed li fe and character in Central H an c t America . ere is amusing extra fr o m his letter “ Possibly youknow that they have a

92 M a rk Twa in\

s city in the Union in ummer . It is the moneyed center o f the State ; and one o f s s for C its capital , al o , onnecticut is so

- dd t law abiding , and so a icted to law , hat there is not room enough in one city to f o f the r s manu acture all a ticle they need . Hartford i s the place where the in s urance T use o f companies all live . hey some the r The f houses fo dwellings . others are or

s o fi c es in urance . So it is easy to see that there is quite a spirit o f spec ulative enterprise there Many o f the i nhabi

r f s tants have reti ed rom bu iness , but the others labor along in the old customary s o f way , as pre idents insurance com ” a p nies . In 1 8 68 - 9 Clemens w as living at the Ev ett N e k H er House in w Yor city . aving “ ” his completed Innocents Abroad , he k for His i loo ed about a publisher . v sit H f for to art ord early in August , was the purpose o f c onfering with a publisher

Wi th eu there , but he had met but little c oura ement He z g . next tried do en s s s N ew k publi hing hou e in Yor , but in He to r vain . sent his manuscript othe ’ Hi s Li e a na Work f . 93 publishers in Boston and Philadelphia k with li e success . Somewhat disheart k ened he laid the boo away in his room . One day he w a s entertaining the late

r D R so Albe t . ichard n in his apartment . In a self- disgusted mood he handed

R r s i f icha d on his manuscript , to see his so friend thought it irredeemably bad . R ds r ichar on read it, p onounced it very clever; full of the ex travagant drollery nd which the American people relish , a ex pressed hi s astonishment that any pub lisher of intelligence and experience should have declined it . “ You can ’t be any more astonished ” k t C d . han I am , remar ed lemens , ryly “ These publis hers have astonis hed as much conceit out o f me as a long seige o f

- sea sickness . R l ichardson , who had published severa books through the American Publishing

Company , said that he was going to H f k a art ord , that he would ta e the m nu s i cr pt with him , and that he was sure s the company would be glad to publi h it . He kept his promise and placed the man 94 M a rk Tw a in

i o f Mr B usc r t . p in the hands liss, then of secretary the company , who was s But of plea ed with it . some the other

ffi rs s o cers and directo were aver e , and made so many obj ections that Bliss finally declared that he would publish the vol ume on his own account . This caus ed “ s of s ome the other to yield , and Inno ” cents Abroad was issued , but under pro s fi nan test , and many misgiving as to its l c i a success . lt The resu is well known . The book M k T f h . T e made ar wain amous sale ,

2 00 including pirated editions , reached , The 000 copies . American Company cleared i n the neighborhood of by the p ubli c ationfi Mark was crazed He hi o . s fr with j y wrote to old iend , B o f Captain ixby , the steamboat Paul Jones “ Thirty tons o f paper have been used ‘ in publishing my book Innocents ’ Abroad . It has met with a greater sale

k s than any boo ever publi hed , except ‘ T ’ ’ h Uncle om s Cabin . T e volumes sell fr om $3, to $5 according to finish, and I 57i : L e a nd Work 1 if . 95

- f tne . N ot for get one hal profit so bad , s ? How a crub pilot , is it do you run Plum Point— a son - of- gun of a place? I would rather be a pilot than anything I ” r ever t ied . The London S a turday Reozkw of Octo “ ” 8 1 8 6 ber , 9 , reviewed Innocents Abroad at great length , along with other volumes ,

k of r The as a boo t av el . review was s written most seriou ly , and one could imagine delight of the humorist in ) the o reading this tribute to his p wer. In fact the review so amused M ark Twain that he himself wrote a long burlesque

S aturda Review on the y criticism , in which he said : “ ‘ ’ To say ‘ that Innocents Abroad is a curious book would be to use the faintest language— would be to speak o f the M at terhorn as a neat elevation or o f N iagara ‘ ’ ‘ ‘C ’ as being nice or pretty . urious is too tame a word wherewith to desc ribe n the imposi g insanity o f this w ork . There is no word that is large enough or et f long enough . L us , there ore , photo graph a passing glimp se of book and M a rk Tw ain N 9 .

author, and trust the rest to the reader. Let the cultivated English student of human nature picture to himself this Mark Tw ain as a person capable o f doing the following - described things— and not in only doing them , but with incredible nocence printing them calmly and tran k quilly in a boo . For instance “ He states that he entered a hair

’ s s dres er s in Paris to get haved , and the ‘ ’ k hi s first ra e the barber gave with razor , it loosened his ‘hid e’ and lifted him out f o the chair . “ T his is unquestionably exaggerated . In Florence he was so annoyed by beg gars that he pretends to have seized and eaten one in a frantic spirit o f revenge . T f He o . here is , course , no truth in this gives at full length a theatrical programme seventeen or eighteen hundred years old , which he professes to have found in the s of is ruin the Col eum among the dirt , ffi and mould and rubbish . It is a su cient comment upon this statement to remark that even a cas t- iron programme would not have lasted so long under the circum ’ Hi s L e a na Work ifi . 97 .

r stances . In Greece he plainly bet ays f fl both right and ight upon one occasion , ' but with frozen efl ronterv puts the latter ‘ in this falsely tame formz— We sidled ‘ ’ t a s ! owards the Pir eu Sidled , indeed He did not hesitate ‘o intimate that at m f u. Ephesus , when his strayed rom the k proper course , he got down , too him him under his arm , carried to the road again , pointed him right , remounted , and went to sleep contentedly till it was time to restore the beast t o the path once

or e m e . H states that a growing youth ’ among hi s ship s passengers was in the constant habit of appeasing his hunger k with soap and oa um between meals . In Palestine he tells o f ants that came eleven miles to spend the summer in the desert and brought their provisions with them; yet he shows by his description o f the country that the feat was an imp ossi He i f bilit . y mentions , as it were the

s - mo t common place matter , that he cut a Moslem in two in broad daylight in Jer ’ usalem fr B s with God ey de ouillon s word , and would have shed more blood if he 98 M a rk Tw a in

- hi had had a grave yard of s own . These ' statements are unwort hy a moment s a t T M r. tention . wain or any other foreigner who did such a thing in J erusa

infalli ¢ lem would be mobbed , and would s f But ? Wh bly lo e his li e . why go on y repeat more o f his audacious and exasper ating falsehoods? Let us close fi ttingly ‘ with this one : he afli rms that in the

of . C s mosque St Sophia , at on tantinople, I got my feet so stuck up with a compli o f im cation gums , slime , and general p unity that I wore out more than two thousand pair o f bootjacks getting i n? off boots that night , and even then some ’ C r s off h i tian hide peeled with them . It s is monstrous . Such statements are imply s — f r lie there is no other name o them . Will the reader longer marvel at the brutal ignorance tha t pervades the Amer ican nation . “ In another place he commits the bald ‘ absurdity o f putting th e phrase tare an ’ o uns month R into an Italian . In ome he unhesitatingly believes the legend ’ that t P r t a ln S . hilip N e i s hear w s so ma M a r k Tw a in

we cence , but cannot deal similarly with

s n We k his colos al ignora ce . do not now i f where to begin . And we knew w here k to begin , we certainly should not no w o ff e where to leave . W will give one

He o t . n specimen , and one only did know until he got to Rome that Michael ! s of Angelo was dead And then , in tead crawling away and hiding his shameful he ignorance somewhere , proceeds to ex f s o f f press his pious , grate ul ort satis action that he is gone and out o f his troubles ! “ N o re d k , the a er may see out the ’ author s exhibitions of his uncultivation f he k of himsel . T boo is absolutely dan the gerous, considering magnitude and variety o f its misstatements . And yet it is a text-book in the schools o f America ! Even in our own country “ Innocents ” Abroad had its curious adventures . In

Pennsylvania , a rural clergy man sadly k returned the volume to the boo agent , ‘ with the remark that the man who c ould of us shed tears over the tomb Adam , m t ” be an idiot . His L e and Work 1 01 if .

VI.

MARRIAGE

Among those cultivated people who were passengers on the steamer Quaker C i n mem01 able ity , the now excursion H 6 L 1 8 . to the oly and in 7 , were Judge J f of i N ew L . Langdon and amily Elm ra , k of Yor . A son Judge Langdon figures “ “ D an M as in Innocents Abroad . iss s Lizzie , a hand ome and accomplished si s o f D an M k ter , was introduced to ar T 1 the wa n during voyage outward , and when the Quaker City sailed homeward r M . Clemens was paying deep attentio n to the young lady . She was somewhat o f of an invalid , and upon the return the f E r s s k ore amily to lmi a , her illne too a m s f seriou orm . 1 02 M a rk Tw a in

Perhaps the proximity o f Buffalo to of oc Elmira , the home his sweetheart , ’ c asi oned Mark s removal to the former o f 1 8 6 for city in the latter part 9, at all events we find him there , occupying an B ff E x ress editorial position on the u alo p . Subsequently we find him making peri o di c al visits to the neighboring city of

Elmira . Miss Langdon was a young lady o f f M k k position and ortune . ar new that her father did not look upon him with f suffi avor , but nevertheless he acquired s as re cient courage to propo e , and w ec ted j , much to his sorrow . “ W ” ’ ell , he said to the lady , I didn t ’ much believe you d have me , but I

’ thought I d try . After awhile he tried again with the k same result , and then he remar ed , with “ n k his celebrated drawl , I thi a great

’ ‘ deal more o f you than i f you d said Yes ” but its hard to bear . A third time he f met with better ortune , and then came f o f k to the most di ficult part his tas , to the address old gentleman .

1 04 M a rk Tw a i n

o u antec e more than I do about y , your d s o a ! us ent , etc. St p minute You m t remember that a man may be a ‘good ’ fellow and a pleasant companio n on a

o all but is v yage and that, when it a question as grave as this a wise father

tries to take every precaution before al . ’ lowing his daughter s affections to be

c e d ask o f o u as ome ngage , and I y , a o u s v gentleman , that y hall gi e me the names o f some o f your friend s in Califo r nia to whom I may write and make such s ss r i s if inquirie as I deem nece a y , that , ” o u s f s y s till de ire our riend hip . k a f Mar put on bold ront. ” “ s w f u as Sir, aid he, bo ing pro o ndly, o ec ame a young man w ho respects his “ -for-f -in- u s s hoped ather law , yo r entiment are in every way correct. I approve o f s f s t o add them my el , and ha ten that you have no t been mistaken in my senti

s s d o ment toward your aughter, wh m I may tell yo ucandidly seems to me to be s f o f sex o the mo t per ect her , and I h nor

for f your solicitation her wel are. I am not only p erfectly w illing to give you i: L e a nd Work 0 H if . 1 5

fe re rence , but am only too glad to have an opportunity to do so , which my natural modesty would have prevented T f f ff . me rom o ering here ore , permit me to give y outhe names o f a few o f my f r riends . I will w ite them down . First Mc Comb is Lieutenant General John , B a Alexander adlam , General Lander nd B T li . H . . w e 01 W . C . L arnes hey ill all for me just as I would for them. under ” like circumstances . The prospective father-ln-law wrote letters of inquiry to several resident s of C f San Francisco , to whom lemens re erred him , and with one exception , the letters s deri d denounced him bitterly , e pecially ing his capacity for becoming a good M k husband . ar sat beside his fiancee when the letters w ere read aloud by the T f old gentleman . here was a dread ul for silence a moment , and then Mark “ W ’ stammered ell , that s pretty rough f ? on a ellow , anyhow Hi s betrothed came to the rescue how e e o v r, and overturned the mass of testi 1 06 M a r k Tw a in

“ ’ mony ag ainst him by saying, I ll risk you , anyhow . oc So they were married , the wedding curring ln the parlor o f the Langdon s M k i n re idence in Elmira . ar had structed his friends in the newspaper offi ce at Buffalo to select him a suite o f rooms in a fi rst- class boarding house in the the city , and to have a carriage at

r r H depot to meet the b ide and g oom . e k new that they would comply with , his request and gave hi mself no more anxiety about it . When the happy couple alighted from B ff f the train at the u alo depot , they ound f o f a handsome carriage , a beauti ul span l horses and a driver in ivery . They were driven to a handsome house , on an

s w as ari tocratic street , and as the door opened there were the parents o f the bride to welcome them home The old folks had quietly arrived by a special train . After Mark had gone through the f house , and admired its elegant urnish in s w as nf m ffi h he g , he i or ed o cially t at

108 M a rk Tw a in

e and came lounging across the stre t . There was an unoccupied rocking- chair on the veranda , and when my brother offered it to hi mhe dropped into it w ith f f He k for few a sigh o relie . smo ed a moments and said “ N ice morning . "‘ Yes , very pleasant . ’ Shouldn t wonder if w e had “ tin by ” and by . W ell , we could stand a little . This is a n1c e house you have here? k ” Yes , we rather li e it . How ’s your family ? Quite well— and yours ? h ’ f O . , we re all com ortable T r he e was another impressive silence , a nd M k finally ar crossed his legs , blew a ff o f k pu smo e in the air, and in his lazy k drawl , remar ed ‘ ’ I suppose you re a little surprised to e y i s see me over here so arl . Fact , I ’ haven t been so neighborly , perhaps, as I We must ought to be . mend that state of But things . this morning I came over e m be b cause I thought you ight in ter His L e a nd Work 1 0 if . 9

I o ' est ed in knowing that your roof is on k fire . It struc me that it would be a “ good idea if But at the mention o f f fire the whole amily hurried upstairs . W hen we had put the fire out , and had

’ M k s returned to the veranda , ar wa n t ” there? M r C Some years later when . lemens ' Was B ufl alo f e i n lecturing in , a t r being troduc ed nc k to the audie e , he spo e as f w l ollo s in his low, draw ing , character istle manner : “ I notice many changes since I was a of B ff f t f citizen u alo , our een or fi teen

s f s o f years ago . I mi s the ace many old f riends . They have gone to the tomb l — W H to the ga lows to the hite ouse , T far of s hus the rest us have e caped , but be sure our own time is coming . Over fu us , with aw l certainty , hangs one or o f f s T f the other these ate . here ore, that s s we be secure again t error , the wi e f r T s among us will prepare o them all . hi word of admonition may be sufli c i ent; let

f s us pass to cheer uller thing . I remem ber one circumstance of by - gone times 1 1 0 M a rk Tw a in w ith great vividness . I arrived here after dark on a February evening in

1 8 0 f 7 , with my wi e and a large company of f riends , when I had been a husband

- f twenty our hours , and they put us two in a carriage and drove us up and down , w and every hich way , through all the k B ff bac streets in u alo , until at last I got ‘ s s sk M r a hamed and aid : I a ed . Slee to d get me a cheap boar ing house , but I didn ’t mean he should stretch economy ’ to the going outside the state to find it . The fact was there was a practical joke f ’ k w to the ore , which I didn t no any f thing about , and all this ooling around M was to give it time to mature . y f -ln- ather law , the late Jervis Langdon . o f whom many you will remember , had been clandestinely sp endi ng a fair fortune upon a house and furniture in Delaware for k Avenue us , and had ept his secret so well , that I was the only person this ’ o f N side the iagara Falls , that hadn t u We fo nd it out . reached the house at last about ten o ’clock and were intro u r h e d c ed M s . t to a Johnson , e ostensibl

1 1 2 M a rk Tw a in l ai'ge sums o f money as royalty on his “ b Innocents A road , and this , together with his wife ’s funds were invested in s local corporations , mo tly insurance com ules D f pa . uring the winter ollowing he ” R 1 1 wrote oughing It , and early in 87 , k The the boo was published . volume “ awakened fully as much interest as In ” i s nocents Abroad . It a humorous record o f his life in the mining regions and is replete with adventure , tragedy and comedy . “ The i o f R writ ng oughing It , was ’ M k f s 1 inspired according to ar s con e s ou ,

m use of by the sti ulating tobacco , a l uxury which he never denied himself hi s f k even in days o poverty . In spea ing “ : upon this point , he once said I began smoking immoderately when I was eight t i s years old ; tha , I began with one hun s dred cigar a month , and by the time I was twenty I had increased my allow B f ance to two hundred a month . e ore I w as thirty I had increased it to three

. O hundred a month nce , when I was f e c f k for r e fi te n , I eased rom smo ing th e His L e a nd Work 1 if . 1 3

e months , but I do not remember wh ther the effect resulting was good or evil . I repeated this experiment when I was twenty -two ; again I do not remember what the result was . I repeated the ex r h as pe iment once more , w en I w thirty f f k for our , and ceased rom smo ing a year f . M and a hal y health did not improve , because it was not possible to improve f health that was already per ect . As I never permitted myself to regret this ab sti nenc e , I experienced no inconvenience fr oc c asi0nal om it . I wrote nothing but m agazine articles during pastime , and as I never wrote one except under strong o f f impulse, I observed no lapse acility . But by and by I sat down w ith a con tract behind me to write a book of five or six hundred pages— the book called “ ” Roughing It — and then I found my self seriously obstructed . I was three weeks writing six chapters . Then I gave up the fight , resumed my three hundred cigars , burned the six chapters , and wrote the book in three months without ffi di culty . I ] ; M a rk Tw a in

fl! ENGLAND AND GERMANY .

1 8 2 M k T for n In 7 , ar wain sailed E g land to arrange for the European publi cation o f his works and successfully se C W n curing hatto and indus , as his E g n lish representatives , and the publishi g u o f T z ho se auchnit at Leipzig , as his continental agent . Already he was k widely nown and quoted in England , and was a welcome guest . In S peaking of his experience in Lon don he says “ D k uring my sojourn in smo y , dirty , grand old London , I received an invita tion to attend a banquet there and I w o f ent . It was one those tremendous dinners where there are eight hundred to i ’ n ne hundred invited guests . I hadn t

1 1 6 M o rt Tw a in giving hi s views upon the future religious o f B aspect Great ritain , our ears were as a f of sailed by dea ening storm applause . Such a clapping of hands I never heard f be ore . It sent the blood into my head with a rush , and I got terribly excited . I straightened up and commenced clap ping my hands with all my might . I moved about in my chair and clapped " ’ and ho ? k harder harder . W is it I as ed ‘ W s m . the gentleman on y right ho e ’ ‘ ’ ? m :C name did he read Sa uel L lemens , h ” eanswered . I stopped applauding . I ' ’ di dn t clap any It kind o f took f of k the li e out me , and I sat there li e a ’ mummy , and didn t even get up and of bow . It was one the most distressing s fixe I ever got into , and it will be many " a day before I forget it . M ark lectured on various occasions in I

H . k Rev. England with stri ing success . R Ha i . w e s , who heard him at this time , writes “ I heard hin once at the Hanover Th w as not Square rooms . e audience a b h l rge nor very enthusiastic . I elieve e w ould have been an increasing success We had he stayed longer . had not time s to get accu tomed to his peculiar way , and there was nothing to take us by He f storm . came on the plat orm and w stood quite alone A little table , ith

- the traditional water bottle and tumbler , His was by his side . appearance was k not impressive , not very unli e the rep resentati on of him in the various pictures ‘ ’ He k in his Tramp Abroad . spo e more

slowly than any other man I ever heard , and did not look at his audience quite k f al enough . I do not thin that he elt me together at ho with us , nor we with

We . him . never laughed loud or long We sat throughout expectant and on the ui oi w q , very well interested and gently W simmering with amusement . ith the exception o f one exquisite description of the old Magdalen ivy - covered collegiate O f U buildings at x ord niversity , I do not think there w as one thing worth setting f do wn in print . I got no in ormation out of the k lecture , and hardly a jo e that w uld we or o b o ar, a story that w uld ear 1 1 8 M a rk Tw a in

C e T w as about rep ating . here a deal the

s - o f di mal , lone silver land , the story the M k exican plug that buc ed , and a duel which never came off and another duel in which no one was injured ; and we sat f patiently enough through it , ancying that by and by the introduction would be over , and the lecture would begin , when Twain suddenly made his bow and w ent o ff! k It was over . I loo ed at my watch k k I was never more ta en bac . I had been sitting there exactly an hour and w n s ! s t e ty minute It eemed ten minutes f at the outside . I you have ever tried to k address a public meeting , you will now M k what this means . It means that ar k Twain is a consummate public spea er . If ever he chose to say anything , he would s ay it marvelously well; but in the art o f s saying nothing in an hour , he surpas es o ur most accomplished parliamentary s peakers . Mr C of . lemens relates , as one the of hi s f most harrowing experiences li e , a ’ ix h s f w s our ride across England , his ello t ve r w ho ra le an Englishman , , shortly

1 2 0 M a r/ETw a in to w f atch the other . It read as ollows The CON D CTOR he U , when receives a PUN CH Fare , must immediately in the of presence the passenger, B Tr for 8 C A LUE ip Slip an ents Fare , BUFF T for 6 C A rip Slip a ents Fare , IN K T for C A P rip Slip a 3 ents Fare , FOR CO PON AN D TRAN S F R TICKETS U E , N CH TH TICK TS PU E E . The poesy o f the thing was discovered almost as “ immediately ” as the condue “ ” tor immediately punched and all sorts of jingles were accommodated to the s measure . In September the fir t poem appeared in print and vario us versio ns appeared in the N ew York and Boston newspapers . 1 8 6 Atla ntic M k In the January , 7 , , ar ’ “ ” Tw ain s Literary N ightmare appeared with the following version “ C f onductor , when you receive a are , Punch in the presence of the p as senj are

for - f A blue trip slip an eight cent are ,

buff for - f A trip slip a six cent are , A pink trip slip for a three - cent fare; Punch in the presence of the p assenjare ! i s L ? a nd Work H 4} . i s )

HOR C US . u br r l P nch , others, punch with ca e Punch in the p resence o f the p assenj are k “ Saic. Mar I came across these jing ling rhymes in a newspaper , a little while

a e of s . ago , and read them coupl time They took instant and entire possession of kf w me . All through brea ast they ent

W w hen l at altzing through my brain , and , a k l st , I rolled up my nap in , I could not tell whether I had eaten anything or not . I had carefully laid out my day ’s work the d ay before— a thrilling tragedy in the novel which I am writing . I went to o f my den to begin my deed blood. I k too up my pen , but all I could get it to “ a of the s y was , Punch in the presence n ar f fo asse e . r p j I ought hard an hour , k but it was useless . My head ept hum “ for - ming , A blue trip slip an eight cent ' ” f bufi for - f are , a trip slip a six cent are , on and so on and so , without peace or ’ The — respite . day s work was ruined I o e c uld see that plainly enough . I gav f n es up and dri ted down tow , and pr ently discovered that my feet w ere keepi ng 1 2 2 M ark Tw a in

' i time to that relentless j ngle . When I could stand it no longer I altered my But step . it did no good; those rhymes accommodated themselves to the new step and went on harassing me just as f ff d be ore . I returned home and su ere all the afternoon ; suffered all through an unconscious and unrefreshing di nner ; ff su ered , and cried , and jingled all through the evening ; went to bed and n rolled , tossed and jingled right alo g, the f same as ever;got up at midnight rantic , and tried to read ;but there w as nothing visible upon the whirling page except “ Punch ! punch in the presence o f the ” n ar s s o f p assa j e . By unri e I was out my d mind , and everybo y marvelled and was distressed at the idiotic burden o f my ravings .

The Literary N ightmare awakened

- hors e car poets throughout the world . Algernon Charles Swinburne in La Revue ’ ’ a es D uex M ona es had a brief copy of

i w ell c French verses , wr tten with all his ' known warmth and melody . l z¢ M a rk Tw a i n o f the p assenjare when a retired prize fighter who was S noozing in a corner got f up , and accosting the nightmare ellow , m “ W de anded , hose ears are you going

ff ? The to punch , you bloody du er o f ther ellow tried to explain , but the fighter insisted that he (the other fello w) had said Punch , brothers punch with care ?punch that big feller square in the ear 1 Ti mB ralgep ort S ta nda rd man sai d Mark Twain will sail for Europe on business in the spring ; bL t If k he plays any j o es on the captain there , ’ ’ And don t come down with the reg ler , f are , ’ The c a tain ll n p probably p and tear , And punch him in the presence o f the assen p jare . “ When The Adventures o f Tom ” 1 8 6 f o f Sawyer appeared in 7 , the ame M k T ar wain was universal . In this vol ume he revealed the story of his boyhood M p k days on the ississi pi , and his pran s d of H and a ventures in the town annibal . It w as d k for an publishe as a boo boys , d 7 35

o . c mmanded an?enormous sale , edition ’ after f edition being exhausted . In act , “ ” TomSawyer sold better than any o f k “ d ” his boo s , excepting Innocents Abroa . ' “ The In the meanwhile , Gilded Age had been dramatized and the production o f the comedy on the American stage netted the author large sums o f money . “ ” Injin Jo one of the principal charac “ ” ters in TomSawyer still lives at Han i d a M o . s of nib l , , and one the noted in i

al o f He vidu s the town . drives an old

rs s white ho e and a red expre s wagon , borne down on one side from long and u k f hard service . Jo hauls tr n s rom the depot and chores around with his horse H . e s a o and wagon love , d llar more than “ se i n w o f anybody el he to n , and out his meagre earnings he has accumulated quite He s a fortune . own twelve tenement H r i In f houses in annibal , ang ng value rom 500 to each yet from the clothes that he wears one would naturally think that he would be constantly in dread o f the ragman coming along and casting him i k of s nto a sac old iron and rag . ! 2 6 M a rk Tw a in

A well- known literary critic in review “ ” “ Tom d T ing Sawyer , sai his literary wag has performed some services which entitle him to the gratitude o f his genera He tion . has run the traditional Sunday school boy through his literary mangle and turned him out washed and ironed into a proper state of flatness and col T . w lapse hat hining , canting , early a dying , an emic creature was the nau seating model held up to the full - blooded mischievous lads o f by -gone years as o f n He worthy their imitatio . poured his religious hypocrisy over every honest He pleasure a boy had . w hined his lachrymose warnings on every play

He . ground . vexed their lives So , M k when ar grew old enough , he went for gunning him , and lo , wherever his sk o f soul may be , the in the strumous young pietist is now neatl y tacked up to vi ew on the Sunday - school door o f to - day

o f - as a warning , and the lads to day see nor s h particular charm in a priggi h , y dropathic al existence . In 1 8 77 appeared a volume of his com

1 2 3 M a rk Tw a in

‘ ’ ‘ W e hat a bother, he cries , it is to declin a good male But that is nothing to the trouble we are landed in by the fe male 1 Every man has a gender and there is no sense or system in the distri bution . In German a young lady has no

x e T : e . s , whil a turnip has hus you say “ W ?’ ilhelm , where is the turnip ’ t e k She has gone to h itchen . Where is the ac comp li shed young lady ‘ ” It has gone to the opera l Still better w er his illustrations of the fi sh f Hi s German wi e . argument with a raven , his adventures with a blue j ay and f his perilous journey on the river ra t , were afterward exquisitely described i n “ ” T 1 8 80 . A ramp Abroad , published in W t f hile on his re urn rom Germany , he t G as and arried in London and l gow , while in the latter city was elec ted a member o f the Scottish Society o f Lita ! ! e an rt tur d A . ’ Hi s L e a na Work 1 2 if . 9

HIS LATER WORK S.

On 1 8 Mr. C September 3 , 79 , lemens and his family arrived in N ew York on Galbi er the steamship , having been a for of broad a period sixteen months . “ T ” M k f here , said ar , to a riend , as the ship left quarantine and began her “ journey up the bay , the danger is finally passed . When the ship begins to roll sideways and kick up behind at the same k time , I always now I am expected to f per orm a certain duty . I learned it k years ago on the Qua er City . You might suppose that I would have forgotten my f es part a ter so long a r idence on shore . ’ B i ut there it is aga n . It s habit; every thing connected with the sea comes down f m e to a matter o habit . You ight confin me for forty years in a Rhode Island c om 1 3 0 M a rk Tw a in

’ o f e patch , and at the end that tim I d know just as well what to do when a ship begins to kick as I do at this moment . The darkest night never confuses me in

’ s n the lea t . It s a little si g ular when you ’ ’ k s ? But r s loo at it , i n t it I p e ume it s attributable to the solemn steadfastness ' " of the great deep . As a conscientious Republican in his f M r C k political pre erences . lemens too an active interest In the Presidential campaign of 1 8 80 . While visiting in E N ew k f o f lmira , Yor , in the all that year , he made a short speech one Satur

r R day night, int oducing to a epublican H o f meeting General awley Connecticut . of k M r C In the course his remar s . lemens s aid “ General Hawley is a member of my H f o f church at art ord , and the author ‘ ’ B f M a eauti ul Snow . y be he will deny But that . I am only here to give him a

f hi s character rom last place . As a pure

z citi en , I respect him ; as a personal f o f t e riend years , I have the warmest for e gard him; as a neighbor, whose y eg

1 3 2 i ll a rk Tw a in who believed that he w as a poet but the main diffi culty with him was to get any s M body el e to believe it . any and many a poet has split on that rock— i f it is a k M roc . any and many a poet will split k The . f on it , than God young ellow I S k o f s us pea , u ed all the c tomary devices — and with the customary results — to wit

' for k he competed prizes , and didn t ta e any ; he sent specimens o f poetry to

‘ f s k for d amous people , and a ed a candi ' ’ ud ’ opinion , meaning a p , and didn t get it; he took advantage o f dead persons

obitua ried s s and them in o ten ible poetry , but it made him no friends — certainly But none among the dead . at last he heard o f another chance ; there w as going f Bufialo to be a air in , accompanied by i nofiensive the usual paper , and the editor of that pa per offered a prize o f $ 1 0 for the best original poem on the usual topic o f c s n Spring, no poem to be on idered u less s it should possess po itive value . “ W k u ell , sir , he shoo p his muse , he introduced into her a rousing charge of f in ormation from his jug , and then sat is e a nd Work 1 H Lif . 3 3 dow n and dashed Off the following mad rigal j ust as easy as lying

I GLAD OM E S PRIN G HAIL! BEAUT OUS , S .

A PO E M B Y 5 . L . C L E M E N S .

o 1 1 6 a r t ord Conn N ov . 1 . N . 3 . H f , 7

GE P IS E LL c 0 . O . . B S , BAN KE RS ,

M rs D a vi Gr a o r Order or F M to . d y , , f

D O LL ARS .

u ho ld unt Ho s e Ac c o . M E S 5 . L . C LE N .

Did k e? Y e s k he ta e the priz , he too ’ The the prize . poem and its title didn t seem to go together very well; but , no s r o f has matter , that o t thing happened f ’ i t be ore ; it didn t rhyme , neither was k s fo r a ks blan ver e , the bl n were all filled , i t k for s yet too the prize this rea on , no other poem Offered was really worth more than whereas there was no getting around the petrified fact that this one was 1 worth $ 0 . In truth there was not a banker in the whole town who was will ing to invest a cent in those other poems , but every one of them said this one was w t good , sound , seaworthy poetry , and or h i ts f a ace . Such is the way in which th t struggling young poet achieved rec ogni 1 3 4 M a rk Tw a in

s tion at la t , and got a start along the road that leads to lyric eminence— what T f ever that may mean . here ore , let other struggling young poets be enc our i aged by this to go striv ng . “ MARK T WA I N .

M r . N ot f . C long a ter this , lemens acted as auctioneer at the last s ale at a bazaar r f H f o air held in art ord . In opening the “ : W f k sale he said ell , now , a ter a wee of k wor by these ladies , who have handled an immense amount o f money without putting a penny into their private k k s as poc ets , I , their mere cler , propo e , ‘ ’ rk k k cle s will sometimes , to noc dow 1

s omething . It was at this time that the humorist f T s wrote a letter to a riend in ennes ee , expressing his admiration for Artemus

W f l : ard , as ol ows “ DEAR S IR z— One Of the first questions which Londoners ask me is whether I knew ‘ ’ W es k Artemus ard ; the answer y , ma es

them my friends on the spot . Arte mus seems to have been on the warmest

e of t rms with thousands those people.

13 6 M a rk Tw a zn

t The f year visi ed Bermuda . ollowing f R. Os C o winter James good and ompany , “ B ssu The W le oston , i ed Stolen hite E ” r phant , with which were inco porated “ Some Rambling N otes o f an Idle Ex ” “ ” s B cur ion , Punch , rother , Punch , and k other S etches . About this time the humorist was as ked to contribute to the Barthold i Ped s H s e tal Fund . ere was his re ponse “ k m k for You now y wea ness Adam , and you kno w how I hav e struggled to t f N e . ow g him a monument and ailed ,

s n . it eems to me , here is my cha ce What do we care for a s tatue o f liberty

’ when we ve got the thing itself in its wildest sublimity? XVha t you want o f a monument is to keep you in mind o f

’ something you haven t got— s omething ’ ’ s you ve lo t . Very well , we haven t lost

’ s liberty ; we ve lo t Adam . k for Loo at Adam , what have we done Adam? What has Adam done for us? He f gave us li e , he gave us death , he

us . gave heaven , he gave us hell W h trifl in it g alteration , this present is L e a nd Work H if . 1 3 7

s for statue will an wer very well Adam . You can turn that blanket into an ulster

part the hair on one side , or conceal the

f fi re- sex o his head with a helmet , and at

’ once he s a man ; put a harp and a halo and a palm branch in the left hand to symbolize a part of what Adam did for k r us , and leave the fire bas et j ust whe e M f . it is to symbolize the rust y riends, the father of life and death and taxes has

been neglected long enough . Is it but a question Of finance? Behold the enclosed k k Use f (paid ban )chec s . them as reely H as they are freely contributed . eavens

k of m 0 nows I would there were a ton the . for I would send them all to you , my w k heart is in this sublime or .

. C . S . L

1 88 2 M rk T . In , while a wain was col ‘ lec ti ng retrospective material for his Life M ” on the ississippi , he stopped , one day . k H be C . e at Ar ansaw ity had , years f k C ’ ore , nown the place as ampbell s B ke end , and naturally , had a desire to po about unattended by persons who would be likely to break in upon his musings; 13 8 M a rk Tw a in so , avoiding the committee that had been appointed to receive him , he wandered He t off into the woods . hought nothing of s s T the di tance he was traver ing . here s was mu ic among the tree tops , and f flowers , rich in deep coloring , per umed f k a the air . A ter a long wal he came to f Old cabin , and , upon entering , ound an and tangle - bearded man s itting near the The f empty fireplace . old ellow glanced T S at wain , and then , pringing between the visitor and the door , snatched down k a gun , coc ed it and said “ ’ ?" So I ve got you , have I ’ ” I don t understand you ! Twain s ga ped . “ h k r O . er , no , I rec on not E man nev understands a thing when he don ’t want ’er Didn ’t stop your steamboat down y ander below the bend the other dav an ’ steal sixty sheep that belonged ?” to me , did you “ I will swear upon the honor o f a ’ that I n gentleman did not . I haven t bee in this neighborhood before in twenty ” years .

Ma rk Tw a in

D ’ ‘ ’ ’ ’ on t dear sir me . I ve got you , an ’ I m going ter use you . “ But how do you know that I stole ” your S heep? “ k k You now how I now it . You know that jest ez soon ez vou seed me er ’ ’ ’ off comin you shoved , an mo n that, you know that when I j umped in a canoe an ’ w ’ started to paddle out ter you , y , you S h k ot at me . You now all that well

enough . “ ” M f T 1 erci ul heavens ! wa n exclaimed . ’ erbo ut Yas , sah , yas; that s whut I ’ ff ” lowed , but the boat pu ed on away . “ A stick snapped outside . Great !” T “ heavens wain thought , is the girl " N o f The ? . coming , it was only a cal ’ expression on the Old fellow s face grew

harder . There was a cruel twitching o f about the corners his mouth . h ’ f ’ O , don t you ret , she ll be here

’ d rec kl y . “ M f T effort y riend , said wain , with an “ be if l to calm , you wi l go with me over to Arkansaw City I will prove to you ” that I w ould not steal a Sheep . Hi s" Li e a nd Work f .

’ I don t want no proof that comes ' ’ ’ f . . rum that place You d tell a lie , an f ’ them ellers over thar would sw ar ter it . ’ I see my little gal comin through yander . ’ z ef E I said j est now , you ve got any ’ ’ ra rs w k p you want said , y , I rec on you ’ better say em . “ Would you commit murder?” Would you steal sheep?” ” Surely not . ’ ’ shol c om Ah , hah , an v I wouldn t be ’ ’ mitti n murder by killin sich er feller ez ’ ur ef . D f you air on t move now, you do ’ C ' k I ll drap you . ome , quic , ef k the gal comes , tell me you now who ’ ” S if did steal them heep , that is , you didn t . ‘ k ” T k I thin I do , wain quic ly rejoined ,

’ Of and then , remembering the name a

“ steamboat engineer whom he had known “ f : B be ore the war, he added Jo illings stole your sheep . The Old f k ellow loo ed sharply at him, and replied : Air you shore?” ” I am certain . ” Was you on his boat at the time? M 2 M rk 27 mm

Y k from es , and tried to eep him l not f stea ing them , but could “ Will you help me find him?” ” Yes . W k f ’ all , then , scoot . Quic , be o the gal comes. W T k C hen wain reached Ar ansaw ity , he found the perplexed and disappointed He committee . was nervous and de W pressed . hile he was standing in the f o f o fice the hotel , some one said “ Mr. C k lemens , you used to now Jo ’ ” Billings; didn t you? Tw ain felt an uneasiness crawling Over “ ” him Yes , he replied . ” There he is . T k wain loo ed around and started . The old fellow who had held him in the

f s : cabin came orward , norted , and then said

“ ‘ S fur Sam , I oughter hot you not ’ ’ kno w in k me , but I rec on I ve changed ’ ome. w i Sheep , y , I never had one in f Haw ! C f my li e . , haw ome , ellers , ’ ’ here s to Sam an his erbility ter still hedge on the truth . f on M i in Li e the ississipp , appeared

M a rk Tw a in

marked with his peculiar native genius

and humor . The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn h were published in 1 8 8 6. T e manu script was completed many months f k be ore the boo appeared , owing to com plications and differences with the pub . ishers s Mr l , and was finally publi hed by . f k M Clemens himsel . In this boo ark The Twain was at his best . London

Atl nneeum the k : in reviewing wor , said “ . k he It is such a boo as he , and only , w is for could have ritten . It meant boys; but there are few men (we should hope) k who , once they ta e it up, will not delight f in it . It orms a companion or sequel to ‘ ’ Tom H k Sawyer . uc leberry Finn , as ’ k o f T everybody nows , is one om s closest friends ; and the present volume is a record o f the adventures which befell him soon after the event which made him a person o f property and brought Tom ’ s s Sawyer s tory to a becoming conclu ion . They a re of the most surpris ing and de f k light ul ind imaginable , and in the course of them we fall in w ith a number Of types 1 45 of character o f singular freshness and f novelty , besides being schooled in hal a We dozen extraordinary dialects . s hall content ourselves with repeating k M k T that the boo is ar wain at his best , and remarking that Jim and Huckleberry e are real creations , and the worthy p ers ” o f the illustrious TomSawyer . Later appeared A Connecticut Yankee ’ ” i n K Authur s C in g ourt , and other of i s volumes . In all his books there s Of st common sen e , and love ju ice , and o f Of s hatred cant , and a vein seriou s earnestne s , even in his most comical r s for ak w iting , that will all time m e him near to the people . As the London D a ily N ew s once said o f him “ w His gravity in narratin g the most pre ostero us p tale , his sympathy with every of a s one his b urdest characters , his mi c rosc o i c o f p imagination , his vein serious s o f ness , his contra ts pathos , his bursts o f indignant plain speaking about certain rs ak M k T national erro , m e ar wain an o f s far t e author the highe t merit , and f ufl' ” mote rom the mere b oon. 1 4 6 M a rk Tw a 1n

THE ECTURE L T L P A FORM.

1 8 M k T 8 W. In 4 , ar wain and George C of able made a general tour the country , f k each giving rea dings rom his own wor s . Cordial receptions and crowded houses The f greeted them everywhere . plat orm He w as not a novelty to Mark Twain . had delivered lectures in California and

N 1 8 66 1 8 6 evada in and 7 , had appeared in public upon several occasions in Eng s k of land , and had po en a number times at dinners and banquets in N ew York B s He k and o ton . became nown as a man poss e ssing remarkable powers of eloc u o f k tion , and his parlor readings Sha e speare were said to be masterly perform auces . Strong inducements had been

ff r d far o e ed him to lecture abroa , even so 1 8 8 e away as Australia . In 4 he consent d

1 43 M a rk Tw a in

k merry twin le came into his eyes , as he advanced t o the front of the stage and began to recite , in his peculiar, drawling “ K S ollermun and deliberate way , ing , taken from advance sheets o f Huckle ” . W s berry Finn hen he had fini hed , he 03 turned and boyishly ran the stage , o f T with a sort dog trot . hen I remem Mr C ber that . able came on , told us all “ ” “ ” K R Ristofolo about ate iley and , and of M k T then , in imitation ar wain , tried i to run off the stage in the same playful n r l de lor man e . I remember a so what a p . of a t able failure Mr. Cable made the how t tempt , his gen le trot reminded me of k and a duc going down hill , how eventually he collided with one of the s scenes, and la tly how the audience roared with laughter Then Mark came forward again with his Tragic Tale o f f f C the Fishwi e , ollowed by able , who k k B wal ed soberly now , li e a aptist dea o f T con . Twain told us A rying Situa tion , and finally concluded the enter tai nment with one o f his inimitable ghost t s s orie . His L e a nd Work 1 if . 49

k b He is a good tal er, and invaria ly f k f prepares himsel , though he s ill ully hides his preparation by his method o f delivery , which denotes that he is getting i He h s ideas and phrases as he proceeds . s s is an accompli hed arti t in his way . Hi s peculiar mod e o f expression always

w an i e n seems contagious ith aud ce , and a laugh would follow the most sober re~ k f mar . It is a singular act that an audi ence will be in a laughing mood , when thev first enter the lecture room ; they are ready to burst out at anything and of C everything . In the town olchester ,

Connecticut, there was a good illustration H n D emshai n H Of o . this , the ornet having a most unpleasant experience at the ex f M k T o . Mr C pense ar wain . lemens was advertised to lecture in the town o f C t for f olches er , but some reason ailed to arrive . In the emergency the lecture c pmmittee decided to employ Mr. Hor net to deliver his celebrated lecture on r tempe ance , but so late in the day was this arrangement made that no bills an nounc in g it could be circulated , and the 1 5 0 M a rk Tw a in

audience assembled , expecting to hear M k T N 0 ar wain . one in the town knew

M r. C s lemen , or had ever heard him lec r ture , and they ente tained the idea that w as f he unny , and went to the lecture prepared to laugh . Even those upon the f plat orm , excepting the chairman , did M H k r. f M k T not now ornet rom ar wain , and so , when he was introduced , thought n o f t h k othing e name , as they new " ” M k T non: do lume ar wain was a p , and H supposed his real name was ornet . H k Mr. ornet bowed politely , loo ed “ o k : Int mer ab ut him , and remar ed e p s of he ance is the cur e the country . T He audience burst into a merry laugh . ' k remark and new it could not be at his ,

s thought his clothes mu t be awry , and sk i f he a ed the chairman , in a whisper , “ ” for he was all right , and received yes “ s T he : Rums s an an wer . hen said lay

s more than di ease Another , but louder He laugh followed . could not under “ : k stand it , but proceeded It brea s up “ r happy homes Still louder mi th . It is carrying young men down to death and

15 2 M a rk Tw a in into a town so entirely populated Wi th ss d a es and i iots , and having said that he f s f le t the hall in di gust, ollowed by the d audience in eep gloom .

M r C Mr a When . lemens and . Cable p e ared N ew k p in Albany , Yor , they paid

s s their re pects to the Governor , and vi ited Ad the State capitol . They entered the ’ - f jutant General s o fice , and finding the o fli c ial his out , they sat down to await T return . here were a considerable num o f r ber gentlemen in the pa ty , and the

Mr. chairs were soon occupied . Clemens sat down careless ly on one of the Adjut ’ - ff The ant General s o icial tables . party were chatting cheerfully and conducting v f themsel es peace ully , when a dozen clerks and deputies o f the department ffi came rushing into the o ce , and with

k a unusual vehemence , as ed what w s

N o f r wanted , one the visiting pa ty seemed to understand the situation . An l f investigation , however, disc osed the act M k T n that ar wai , by accident or design , had planted hi‘mself squarely on a long His i e a nd Work 1 Lf . 53

f set t i n . row o electric buttons , and thus g ing a score or more of call bells. si o f In Montreal , upon the occa on T ’ Mark wain s appearance , there were a large number o f Frenc hmen in the audi T h i mt o ence . his caused introduce into his lecture the following “ Where so many o f the guests are F be rench , the propriety will recognized of my making a portion of my speech in the f beauti ul language , in order that I S k may be partly understood . I pea r fl ow in l F ench with timidity , and not g y , W except when excited . hen using that language , I have noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a French man , except , perhaps , by horses; never , had I believe , by people. I hoped that s mere French con truction, with English s Words , would an wer; but this is not the ’ s ca e . I tried it at a gentleman s house

k he in Quebec , and it would not wor . T “ - s sk maid ervant a ed , What would mon “ M s S o-and- o sieur I said , on ieur S , is he with himself ? She di d not under “ s . t tand I said, Is it tha he is still not 15 4 M a rk Tw a in

” returned to his house of merchandise ? d id d I She not un erstand that either. “ He s f he said , will de olate himsel when learns that his friend American was ar f k rived , and he not with himsel to sha e himat the hand . She did not even un ’ d erstand k h that; I don t now w y , but ’ S he be she didn t , and lost her temper i n . o ut sides Somebody the rear called , “ Qui est donc la or words to that ’ ”

ff . C nu fou e ect She said , est , and shut the door on me Perhaps S he was right ;but how d id She ever find that out? For she had never seen me before till

. But that moment , as I have already intimated , I will close this oration with a few sentiments in the French language .

I have not ornamented them . I have not o f burdened them with flowers rhetoric , for , to my mind , that literature is best and most enduring which is charac terized ’ by a noble simplicity : J ai belle bouton ’ ’ d or e de mon oncle , mais i n ai pas celui r n z l f duc ha pe tier . Si vous ave e romage ’ du s brave menuisier , c est bon ; mai si ' ne z ne desol ez as vous l ave pas , vous p ,

1 5 6 M a rk Twat}: kindly an appreciation o f efforts to please ” s ks the public . A thou and than . And “ the young man replied , You are per

T . fec tl M r. y welcome , wain I am sure ” you deserve it . Shortly after hi s return from his lecture o f tour, the representative a leading pub n s l li shi g hou e called upon M r. C emens

H f s Off r at his art ord re idence, e ing him his own price for a certain contribution “ s W l which was specially de ired . el , I ” M k tell you , said ar , with his inimitable “ s drawl , I have ju t got a thundering big

k f le zture boo through me , and an aw ul course through the people o f this unfor tunate f k country , and I eel li e an ana conda that had swallowed a goat . I ’ don t want to turn over or wiggle again " T w a of for six months . his was his y ff declining the o er . A fter dinner speaking became as natu Mr C ral to . lemens , as his appearance f upon the lecture plat orm , and he has won the title o f being the most entertaining N ot table talker in America . many " oa rs since he was present at a monthly is L e a nd. Work 1 H if . 5 7

e o f M Institti te m eting the ilitary Service , ’ ’ T . W . on Governor s Island General . Sherman and General S c hofi eld were Mr . C present . lemens said that that which he was about to read was part o f a

k o f he still uncompleted boo , which would give the first chapter by way o f f explanation , and ollow it with selected “ f 01 s o f ragments , outline the re t it in

k k as th c o w bul , so to spea ; do e dying boy admonished his s piritual adviser to ‘ ~ i do, just leave out the deta ls and heave f in the bottom acts . Once upon a time a military regiment f W M s s rom orcester , as achusetts , vi ited

H r f and r for a t ord , the humo ist was put S k s ward , as the po e man , to welcome ,

ffi . of o cially the soldier guests the city . Among other things he said : When k s as ed to re pond , I said I would be glad

s to , but there were rea ons why I could k not ma e a speech . But I said I would k tal . I never made a speech without getting together a lot o f statistics and be ing instructive The man who starts in upon a speech without preparation enters 1 5 8 M a rk Tw a in

o f f upon a sea in elicities and troubles . I had thought o f a great many things I f had intended to say . In act nearly all o f these things I have heard here to - night

o f I had thought . Get a man away down here on the list , and he starts out ’ One k empty . reason I didn t li e to come here to make a prepared speech was be ff s o . f cau e I have sworn I have re ormed . I would not make a prepared Speech The without statistics and philosophy . advantage o f a prepared speech is that you s tart when you are ready and stop If when you get through . unprepared , ’ k you are all at sea , you don t now where you are . I thought to achieve brevity . k but I was mista en . A man never hangs on so long on his hind legs as when he ’ k don t now when to stop . I once heard f He a man who tried to be re ormed .

r f o f t ied to be brie . A number strangers i ne off sat n a hotel parlor . O sat to one s t ide and said nothing . Finally all wen

- ‘ out except one man and this dummy . The dummy touched this man o n the “ shoulder and said : I think I have -S ' S - e

1 60 Ma rk Tw a i n fro m Japan ; her card case is from China; her watch is from Geneva her ’ hair from— from— I don t know where i s f — her hair rom I never could find out . That is her other hair— her public hair ’ her Sunday hair . I don t mean the hair h She goes to bed with . W y you ought ’ to know the hair I mean ; it s that thing t e which she calls a switch , and which sembles a switch as much as it does a ’ k S bric bat or a hotgun . It s that thing that S he twists and then coils round and f round her , head , beehive ashion , and then tucks the end in under thehive and ” harpoons it with a hairpin . 1 88 a t t he o f M In 5 , Academy usic , in f Philadelphia , occurred a benefit per orm ’ for s The ance the Actor Fund . house M was crowded . Joseph urphy had just given the graveyard scene from “ Shaun h Rhue . T e widower and his little son visit the grave o f the wife and mother and go through some very pathetic i n

id en f er c ts . a t A delay occurred L the “ ” Shaun Rhue had sorrowfully led his off Th Spring from the hallowed spot . e s L e a nd Work 1 61 Hi if . audience w as in the usual : sympa thetic af condition ter the scene , and noses were blovim generously in the commendable effort to brace up for the appea rance o f M k T w as nex t ar wain , who to come on “ and read hi s ridiculous Tale o f a Fish ” f The e . wi dozen mounds , with their c rosses and head pieces that had been used to make up the scene of the c e me ter y , had not been removed , and the idea that the humorist would have to read his nonsense i n such surroundings caus ed T anxiety . wain was standing at the wing ready to go on , and many saw him . The uneasiness of the people became 1nev1t more universal , as it now seemed able that a most grotesque picture would n be thrust upon them . An appalli g blunder in stage management seemed The about to be committed . gentlemen w ho had charge of the entertainment were sitting in a box at the right o f the T ’ stage , and could plainly see wain s em barrassment B s for e . oth made a ru h b hi nd the scenes to order the removal of the : But graves they were too late . As 1 62 M a rk Twain h fl ew M t ey through the box door, ark

Twain stepped cautiously on the stage . He k of f too a couple steps orward , glanced up at the picture before him and He stopped short . turned his head to w w e ard henc he had come , as though ki for the loo ng manager , gave an agon iz e o f S ing glanc appeal , muttered ome t Of hing that had the tone vigor , but at He a las t went ahead . made his w y down to f i the ootlights w ith halting , uncerta n f n his steps , umbling his notes betwee fingers and cas ting nervous looks at the solemn sign s of death that half sur r At ounded him . last he got squarely f B be ore the audience . y this time every person in the house was thoroughly nu ' f k efl ort com ortable . A wea at applause had been made by some Of the ' bravest hearted on the appearance o f the humo r M k ’ ff ist , but ar s indi erence to the recep tion and the overwhelming incongruity of ff The the scene had a saddening e ect . house became so still that the rolli ng o f a l o f bal cotton could have been heard. He stood before the leader of the or

1 64 M a rk Tw a in

' ' less seri o us Ofl e with more or nses . It is in reply to one of the more— er— impor of s M tant these that I wi h to speak . ore than once I have been accused of writing the obituary poetry in the Philad elphia ” l ed er g . A gentle smile was seen to pas s over f o f s the aces the multitude , and plea ant f n ss s f eeli g began to a ert it el . “ ” s r I wi h right here , went on M .

C s f- lemens , with gathered el possession , ” s The to deny that terrible a sertion .

c om audience now laughed outright , and i “ for r as s t w pretty well re tored . I will dm a it , that once , when a compositor in

Led er s the g e tablishment, I did set up

of for some that poetry , but a worse ' ofl enc e than that no indictment can be f ound against me . And then , in an out r s raged manner , the humo i t exclaimed “ I did not write that poetry , and then , “ f f o . a ter a pause , at least , not all it The reader had his hearers with him “ f T o f a ter that , and he never read his ale ” a Fishwife to a more appreciative audio

enc e. His Li e a nd Work f . 1 63

“ X .

MAR T N A K WAI T HOME.

in 1 8 68 W . C hen , , Samuel L lemens s of H f C vi ited the city art ord , onnecticut , to arrange for the publication o f hi s first “ ” k s boo , Innocent Abroad , he was capti y ated by the old tow n and its bea utiful

1 8 1 he d suburbs . Later , in 7 , when eter mined upon leaving B uffalo and taking

s up his residence in an ea tern city , it was not strange that he S hould select Hartford as the S ite fo r hi s permanent

Of N k home . In a corner the oo Farm , on Farmington avenue , about a mile and a quarter from the business center of the l of city , he bui t a large , unique house k The o f bric and stone . building was of the Quee n Anne style architecture , w mos hich , just at that time , was the t 1 66 M a rk Tw a in

ul s pop ar , as well as the mo t aristocratic o f T mode residence in vogue . here were gables and arches and quaint windows ,

o f s of and in many the e , boxes flowers The t were placed . house was buil in the center Of a park - like grove of old of trees , and the hand a Scotch landscape w e artist soon molded hedges , flo r beds and a well- kept lawn To -day it stands o f c ov a home homes . A porte cochere , f en ered with vines , extends rom the

d v . trance , under which the carriages ri e The exteri or o f the house has the air o f a i s luxurious , old, Engl h home . From the day that Mark Twain and his young wife took up their abode in H tf their ar ord home , money was ex pended with lavish hands , and the result s has been a rich , charming , arti tic and

- k ne i s s home li e interior . O u hered into

' o f an immense square hall , the floor which is in marble tiles o f peculiar pat t ern . A winding staircase , very wide an d o f i massive , heav ly carved English oak extends above Opposite the front door are double doors leading into the

1 68 M a rk Twa in

i Out f he at the beauti ul landscape , can ’ hardly realize at first that it is nature s k s f of handiwor thu ramed in , instead a n n painti g actually hanging upo the wall . The flue o f the fireplace extends each S o f tu s o Con ide this pic re que wind w . ' nec ted t d - roo mi s r wi h the ining the lib ary , which is the general living room . It has large double doors leading into the front a sunn hall opposite the entrance . It is y , f cheer ul room , with a huge , heavily carved fireplace which M r. Clemens ro f E b ught rom urope , where it had once held place in an ancient castle ; it seems to have brought with it to this American of home some the dignity , pomp and splendor o f which it once formed an im The k i f portant part . room loo s as it belonged to a baronial castle , but in

r z winte it is less sombre , and a bla ing

of s f fire logs burn behind the brass ender, bringing into gre ater prominence the “ mo tto cut in brass above the fire : The ornament o f a house is the friends that

On h ar ! l ow frequent it . eit er side e hoc k shelves built against the w all; they is L e a nd Work 1 0 H if . 9

form a part o f the massive chimney-piece k o f The and look li e wings a great bat . floor is covered with rugs and lux urious seats are fitted into the windows; a large carved table stands in the center covered

with magazines and papers . The whole house has rather the ap

earanc e of an p old castle , with the carv

Jin s o f g grotesque and ponderous , instead "i ld o f O . the mahogany, colonial days A wide oaken staircase leads to the apart s o f ments above , the most conspicuou which is a large room fitted up most c Om

fortably with cozy nooks filled in - with B cushioned seats . eyond is a ro5min which a large rocking horse and scattered toys make one acquainted with the reason Mr C . lemens ceased writing in this at tractive apartment and mo ved still further

u - a of m p st irs to a corner the billiard roo . Each suite o f apartments has its separate ne bathroom . O guest chamber is fur ni shed in pink silk ; even the bedstead is of pink silk tuft ed all over with tiny

satin buttons . 1 7 0 M a rk Tw a zn

" The study or work room o f the humor i st is the billiard room , upon the upper o f k floor , the windows which loo out upon the broad acres o f beautiful land s scape . In the di tance is heard the ripple f k o f o Par river . In the corner the room i s - s his writing table , covered u ually with k s h boo s , manu cripts , letters and ot er literary litter ; and in the middle o f the

s s - M r room tand the billiard table . . C s r lemen is an expe t billiard player , and when he tires o f writing at his little desk the ke in corner , he rises and ma s some

S k - A cientific stro es with the cue . resi dent Of Hartford savs that he called upon M k ar once in the billiard room , when the fire in the grate threw some S parks T out upon the floor . hese caught some loose paper and the room for a moment ‘ s k T promi ed to brea out in flames . wain was playing billiards at the time , says “ did the man , and he not stop his game .

He for v immediately rung the ser ants , and lazily told them that they had better s a extingui h the fire , and with th t he leaned over the table and made a stroke

1 7 2 M a rk Tw ain

o f o f the name prince entertainers . f Seated in his richly urnished library , to w hose bea uty and artistic completeness f n o f hal the la ds Europe have contributed , he w ill tell an anecdote or discuss a literary or social question with a calm n directness and earnestness , reveali g to new o f c you an entirely side his chara ter , that has nothing in common with that which he is wont to display to the public w ho throng to his lectures . Even his drollest stories he relates with this same s f earnest impre siveness , and with a ace ’ His as serious as a sexton s . brilliancy has a certain delightful quality which is almost too evanescent to be imprisoned h o res in any one p rase . You have no pp sive consciousness that you are expected to laugh ; y o urather feel as i f the talker had unexpectedly taken you into his con

fi denc e a nd f , you eel your heart going He o ut toward him in return . is a f f reader o the finest discriminating aculty , i k h gh dramatic power . and remar able i r and sympathetic nte pretation , his read i n of B mhe ad g rowning, who greatly His l i e a nd Work 1 f . 73

m He ires , is a rare entertainment . is a leading member o f the Monday Evening ’ C o f H f r C lub art ord , the Autho s lub , the ’ C C o f N ew Century lub , the Actors lub k l and or Yor , and other socia literary

ni z t ga a i ons . D Mr uring the summer months , . Clemens and his family sojourn at Quarry N ew k Farm , near Elmira , Yor , at the o f M r T Cr f . W. home . ane , whose wi e is o f M rs C H a S ister . lemens . ere among of C n the historic hills the hemu g valley , the humorist works w ith the same sys temati c rule as in the study of his Hart f who M f . r ord house A riend visited . C w lemens in his summer retreat , rites as follows “ A summer house has been built for M r C the C . lemens within rane grounds ,

k i x on a high pea , which stands s hun dred feet above the valley that lies Spread f The out be ore it . house is built almost of m entirely glass , and is odelled ex ac tly on the plan of a Mississippi steam ’ ' s - H fi boat pilot house. ere, shut o from all -o e Mr utsid communication . . Clemens 6 1 74 M a rk T wa in

k o f r does the hard wor the year , or rathe the confining and engrossing work o f a writing , which demands continuous p f h f . T e plication , day a ter day lo ty work - room is some distance from the He house . goes to it every morning about half- past eight and stays there nu til called to dinner by the blowing o f a ’ k He k horn about five o cloc . ta es no of lunch or noon meal any sort , and k wor s without eating , while the rules are imp erative not to disturb him during this His w orking period . only recreation is his cigar . Another correspondent wrote as follows “ To keep away the large number o f visitors and sight- S eers who come to view T the sanctum , wain posted upon his door the following notice

S tep S oftly ! Keep Aw ay ! D O no t Dis turb the Rema ins !

In spite Of this characteristic warning The we open the door and enter . floor t is bare . There is a table in the cen er f the c w k s o room overed ith boo s , new

1 76 M a rk Tw a in for the really satisfactory cigar at a really sf sati actory price , and , first and last , has gathered a good deal o f experience in the pursuit . It is related that , having enter _ ta i ned a party o f gentlemen one winter H f s evening in art ord, he gave to each , ju t f f s o f be ore they le t the hou e , one a new sort o f cigar that he was trying to believe o f hi s He was the object search . made

f r The each g uest light it be o e starting . next morning he found all that he had given away lying on the snow bes ide the w k path ay across his lawn . Each smo er had been polite enough to smoke until o f he got out the house , but every one on gaining his liberty had yielded to the instinct of s elf- preservation and tossed f the cigar away , orgetting that it would The be found there by daylight . testi mony , of the next morning was over s the whelming , and the verdict again t new brand was accepted . Some years ago in making a p hrenolo

i c al o f M k T g examination ar wain , Pro fessor B of C eall incinnati , made report as follows : e a n Work His L f d . 7 i 1 77; Wit and humor are d f difli cmt wor s , and yet , rom the y in de or f fining them , rom not distinguishing the particular mental mechanism upon which they depend , the relative merits

' of many authors are often but vaguely it t understood . W is primarily an in el u- lectual perception o f incongruity or n j expected relations , but the idea that any thing thus apprehended is ludicrous is

' suggested by the affective faculty of f ' mirth ulness , in the same manner that the understanding may perceive a d an gerons Object and thus arouse the emotion o f f Th ear . e relation between the intel lectual faculties and the feelings is rec ip ro - j o o f l cal , s that the sentiment the udi 4 c rous o in- , when strong , may pr mpt the tellec t to create imaginary senses or ' a f i t or associated ideas adapted to gr ti y , become active as the result o f real per c i n T fo e t o s . r p alent wit , then , depends upon certain intellectual activities com But bined with the sentiment of mirth . humor introduces another element— J T namely secretiveness . his propensity 1 78 M a rk Tw am not only creates the desire to conceal

’ one s own thoughts , but gives almost equal pleasure in penetrating the dis o f k guises others . It enables a jo er to “ keep a straight face” while telling a

s o f story , and the ecretiveness the listener is gratified by detecting the absurdity in the narrative beneath the assumed gravity

o f k . T s the spea er hat is , to the amu ing incongruity of the events in the story is added the further incongruity between the character o f the story and the serious of The n countenance the narrator . E g lish and Italians are more humorous than w o f of itty , the reverse which is true the M k T French . ar wain is excellent in

Wit - e , but super excellent in humor . S c retivenes s is very marked in the diame o f s ter his head ju t above the ears , and is of indicated also by the width his nostrils , c the nearly losed eyes , compressed lips ,

of S . slow , guarded manner peech , etc “ ” His nose is o f the apprehensive type in its great length and some what hooked k e point , but it is not thic enough abov the nostrils to indicate taste for c om

' 1 80 M a rk Tw a in mu fu er sic , and mirth lness , at the upp

r o f the f co ners orehead , is by no means k e a o f remar abl Ide lity , or love beauty , is f The s 2 2 only air . head measure % a f t inches , which is h l an inch less han i the average ntellectual giant , but the of fiber the whole man is fine , close and is strong, and the cerebral combination e of a very available sort . H has very ff o f a roba ardent a ections , strong love p p of c k tion , sense justi e , firmness , indness and ability to rea d character; w ith small f- of sel esteem , love gain , or inclination to K o f the supernatural . nowledge the w orld and interest in humanity are his i lead ng traits , and , altogether , he is a phenomenal man of whom Americans ” may well be proud . Being extremely domestic in hi s tastes k f f f Mar Twain is ond o his home li e, and o f f His his beauti ul children . eldest 1 8 2 u , C da ghter , Susie was born in 7 , lara 1 8 Langhorne was born in 74 , and Jean

1 880 . son e in Another child , a , di d in f Mrs C s as in ancy . . lemens is de cribed en a g tle, quiet and motherly , ten ye rs i : L e a nd Work I H if . ?!

Mr. younger than her husband . Clemens is reported to have said that when his mother died there would be no one left f r k in the amily to app eciate his jo es . It Mrs l is said . Clemens is particular y slow a in these m tters . She dresses very k plainly , wearing her dar hair smoothly f brushed rom the parting in the center, with no crimps or attempt at dressing. She appears still more sedate by usually

‘ - wearing eye glasses . She is , however , noted for her goodness a nd for being a f ond mother . For many years the near neighbors o f f f r the family have been the amilies o M . Mr C D W . e harles udley arner , Georg Re MrS W v . Mr T arner , . witchell and . ’ a Harriet Beecher Stowe . It is said th t e Mr . C s onc when lemen , at the solicita o f f Mrs tion his wi e , called on . Stowe , he was so abs ent - minded as to put on neither k n rs C s collar nor nec tie . O M . lemen his remonstrating on return , he said he k c would ma e it all right , and a cordingly sent a collar and tie of his over to MIT! tow e in box S a . I 5? M a rk Tw aif:

Miss Susie has always been Mark’s f favorite child. She inherits much o her “ f ’ k ather s brightness . She ept a diary at one time , in which she noted the occur f f ences in the amily , and , among other ” o f On things , the sayings her parents . one page she wrote that father sometimes ’ used stronger words when mother wasn t ” ’ by and he thought we didn t hear .

M rs f s . Clemens ound the diary and howed s k it to her hu band , probably thin ing the hi s f particular page worth notice . A ter this Clemens did and said several things ’ that were intended to attract the child s n f atte tion , and ound them duly noted But f afterward . one day the ollowing entry occurred : “ ’ ’ 1 don t think I ll put down any thing f for I k more about ather , thin he does n t I be things to have me o ice him , and ” s lieve he reads thi diary . f C ~ O the lemens children , a correspond o f C s of ent a hicago new paper , tells their a f w e a dventures with their ather, hil on V s fo i it to that city , as llows

1 84 Ma rk Tw a in

‘ N o ; I have just returned from a i K k k v sit to my mother in eo u , Iowa . We came from Buffalo to Duluth by a k f la e steamer and then rom St . Paul K k k N down the river to eo u . either in this country nor in any other have I seen such interesting scenery as that along M s ss ne the upper is i ippi . O finds all that ' the Hudson afi ords— bluffs and wooded

— highlands and a great deal in addition .

Between St . Paul and the mouth o f the Illinois river there are over four hundred s s i lands , strung out in every po sible k shape . A river without islands is li e a h woman without air . She may be good ’ f and pure , but one doesn t all in love f Did f w ith her very o ten . you ever all ’ in love w ith a bald - headed woman? The reporter admitted that he had drawn the line there . ‘ ’ Mr I never did , either , continued . C ‘ k lemens , meditatively ; at least I thin for f I never did . There is no place loa i ng more satisfactory than the pilot house o f M i amnses 1 iss ssippi steamboat . It the c hildren to see the p ilot monkey w ith is l i e a nd Work 1 H f . 35

h T t he the w eel . raveling by boat is best w ay to travel unless one can stay at n k i s home . O a la e or river boat one as thoroughly cut off from letters and papers and the tax collec tor as though ’ he M were amid sea . oreover , one doesn t h f of af It is have t e discom orts se aring . very unpleasant to look at sea sick people — at least so my friends said the ’ last time I crossed . the c i en It might amuse h ldr , ’ though , suggested the reporter . ‘ ’ ’ o f d I hadn t thought that , replie ‘ Mr C . lemens; but perhaps it might . The lake seems rather rough to - day— I wonder whether one could get a boat , a little boat that would bob considerably . ’ Y es it . , might amuse the children ‘ u ’ B t at such a sacrifice . ’ You a re not a parent? replied the humorist. ‘ ’ is ti r m M . C It strange , con nued le ens ln f f o f t e , momentary orget ulness h ‘ how e has children , littl been written o t the u er Mi i h ab u pp ss ssippi. T e river t o s has be n d i e below S . L ui e esc r bed tim I ” M ark Tw a in

and i aga n , and it is the least interesting ne part . O can sit in the pilo t house for a few hours and watch the low shores, the ungainly trees and the democratic

buzzards , and then one might as Well go ne to bed . O has seen everything there M s s is to see . Along the upper i sis ippi T every hour brings something new . here ' of s blufi s are crowds odd i lands , , prairies,

— hills , woods and villages everything one could desire to amuse the children k o f Few people ever thin going there , D k C M however . ic ens , orbett , other Trollope and the other discriminating ‘ ’ English people who wrote up the country before 1 84 2 had hardly any idea that such a stretch o f river scenery 3x i sted Their successors have followed in f f their ootsteps , and as we orm our opinions o f our country from what other o f o f people say us , course we ignore the ’ finest part o f the Mississippi. ‘At this moment the three little girls in the three red gowns and six blue stock ings

ea Mr. C s the app red , and lemen assumed ” a shape o f an amusement bure u .

1 88 M a rk Tw a m c ussi on M k T w as , in which ar wain , who k present too no part . A lady near him , turned suddenly toward him and ex claimed “ Why do you not say anything? I " want your opinion . M r C M ad . lemens replied gravely s x am t o f am , you mu t e cuse me , I silen f ” necessity . I have riends in both places . His a nd Work 1 . 89

IX BUS NES AS A I S M r

’ A million copies of Mark Twain s books have been sold i n this c ountry. England and her colonies have taken f ks hal as many more, and the larger wor e i hav been translated nto German ,

Fre N D . nch , Italian , orwegian and anish “ ” “ ” c R i Inno ents Abroad , ough ng It , ” “ The A T Gilded Age , and ramp ” Abroad , were published by the American “ hi C of H f The Publis ng ompany art ord . Stolen Whi te Elephant” appeared from the of O of B presses sgood oston . The humorist has often said that if he we e f r to live his li e over again , he would ub h o w n k p lis his boo s , and act as his ow n b usiness manager, thus securing a larger share of the p rofits arising from 1 90 M ark Twain

the of w k Th sale his or s . e manuscript “ ” of the Adventures ofHuckleberry Finn M 1 8 8 was completed in arch , 4 , but owing to complications and differences with the s publi hers , it did not appear until the f ollowing year , although a prospectus o f r the sto y was sent out , and the opening chapter published in the Century maga

z W k ine . hen the boo was completed Mr C e . lemens made a proposition in r gard t o its publication to the American

Publishing Company . From the sale of his earlier works this firm had made for f M k itsel reputation and wealth . ar T t wain , on his side , received royal ies amounting in all to over four hundred W “ H k thousand dollars . hen uc leberry ” “ ” To m w as Finn , the sequel to Sawyer, d completed , he again ma e them a propo i N s ti o n . egotiations were commenced

The but never completed . parties could

He ff not agree upon terms . was o ered liberal royalties but refused to accep t The ff them . final o er was that the s h of profit should be equally divided, eac f er c f the parties to receive fi ty p ent. o

1 9) M a rk Tw a it. fo he one a r t fortunate author . In ye r Raymond paid Mark over in r e oyalti s . He never dabbled in Wall street s k k w toc s, although he new hether U or W U w nion Pacific estern nion , ere . His s unfortu up or down and why . mo t nate i nvestment w as in the stock o f an i s accident n urance company , where he had invested but luckily he f k Hi s Saved his money rom the wrec . fe f wi had a large ortune in her own right , but so far as Mark Twain was c oncerned i for hein she m ght have been penniless , sisted that her property be settled upon herself and managed for her interest ex e He has f lusively . made his own ortune his w a in own y , and has never had to borrow a cent from any one in ‘ his “ business investments since the Inno ” c or ents began to coin money f him . h o f W T e firm Charles L . ebster and Company have published many books in addition to those written by Mark Twain . “ The profits in the Memoirs o f General ” Grant and those of the Pope w ere enor m: L ? a nd Work 9 . m m 1 8 8 f his ous . In 4 , when he read rom

ks W . C own wor with George able , his share of the net profits was ‘ ’ He invented Mark Twain s Scrap Book w f for hich made a ortune the publishers . N n early a million copies have bee sold, and his profits amount to He k also invented a note boo . All note books that he could buy had the vicious habit o f opening at the wrong place and

distracting attention in that way. So,

by a simple contrivance , he arranged one that always opens at the right place; that of u is , course , at the page last written p O o f k on . ther simple inventions Mar ’ T d h s wain s inclu e : A vest , whic enable the wearer to dispense with suspenders; ff a shirt , with collars and cu s attached , ' which f equires neither buttons nor studs;

21 - - w perpetual calendar watch charm , hich ' gives the day o f the week and of the month ;and a game whereby people may play historical dates and events upon a f of board . somewhat a ter the manner b s fli c e is cribbage, eing a game who e o tw ofold— fu to rnish the dates and events. 1 9; M a rk Tw a it: and t o impress them permanently upon the memory . He is a literary Midas . Everythi ng ' to old n0t he has touched has turned g , f k f k rom luc , but rom hard wor and w ith ah - s eye to bu iness . In order to obtain “ M for the Grant emoirs publication , he f w h made terms with the Grant amily , hic k other publishers did not dare to ma e . “ As Twain said : They did not ap p rec i ~ ” ate the magnitude of the occasion . After he had become a business man and a millionaire he w as elected an f o C M . honorary member the oncord , ass ,

-T C k Free rade lub , and in ac nowledging the compliment w rote to the secretary as follows “ It does look as if Massachusetts were in a fair way to embarrass me with kind nesses this year . In the first place , a Massachusetts judge has j ust decided in open Court that a Boston publisher may se f ll , not only his own property in a ree f but and un ettered way , also may as freely sell property which does not belong himbut to me— w he to , property hich

190 Ma rk Twa in

Mr C en . lemens has been so busily gaged during the later years of his life that necessarily his book work and his ff personal correspondence have su ered . He failed to answer a letter written by B s Sergeant allantine , the Engli h author . After waiting a reasonable time the latter

was so exasperated , at not receiving an s M k o f an wer , that he mailed ar a sheet

paper and a postage stamp , as a gentle

Mr. C k reminder . lemens wrote bac on a postal card : “ e Paper and stamp received . Pleas

send an envelope . To - f l day in health u middle age , C f Samuel L . lemens is reaping the ruits o f He a long and varied career . has been b i a printer , steam oat pilot , pr vate secre

tary , miner , reporter , lecturer , inventor ,

s s . He author , publi her and capitali t is one of the few living persons with a

- s truly world wide reputation . As Mi s Gilder has truthfully and w ittily t e “ marked : Unless the excellent gentl e

i n i r e men , engaged rev sing the Sc iptur s , should claim the authorship of their Hi s L e a nd Work 1 if . 97

w k i s r w t e or , there no othe living ri r, whose books are now so widely read as ’ Mark Twain s; and it may not be out of the way to add that in more than one ‘ s l " piou househo d , the Innocents Abroad, f B re is laid beside the amily ible , and ferred to as a hand book of Hal? Land " n desc ri ption and arrative. ” 1 95 fl a rk Tw am

GEMS PROM MARK

COLLE CTE D FROM HIS PU BLIS HED wonk s 'rrvn S KETCHES LECTURES P C HE , , S EE S AN D C O RRESPO ND ENCE

Be virtuous and you will be ec c en

The train i s profusely d ecorated with tunnels . “ A tortoise-shell cat having a fit in a " o f platter tomatoes . “ Figures stew out of me jus t as natural ” o f o f as the otter roses out the otter . T here is no bird , or cow , or anything

- that uses as good grammar as a blue jay .

“ ’ I wouldn t give a cent to hear Inger ’ 9011 n s ten d ol to o Mose , but I d give lars l ” hear Moses on Ingerso l . mo M a rk Tw a 1n

He was deeply and sincerely pious, k ” and swore li e a fish woman .

He w as frescoed from head to heel with pictures and mottoes tatooed in red ” i nk and blue India . T k k here were no hac men , hac s or w as omnibuses on the pier. I said it ” k e li e being in heav n . " k Palestine sits in sac cloth and ashes . Over it broods the spell o f a curse that has withered its fields and fettered its ” e en rgies . f Formerly , to be a Cali ornian was to be a speculator . A man could not help

. One it man tried to be otherwise , but

k k i s f W he was only ic ing aga n t ate . hile everybody was wild with a spirit of S pec

la i o n f o f fo r k u t , and ull plans ma ing sud he w f den fortunes , he said ould arm along quietly , and slowly gain a modest But competence , and so be happy . his firs t crop o f onions happened to be about He the only onions produced that year . so l d it for a hundred thousand dollars ” and retired . ' ’ E s e a na Work 2 0: s .

A small company , but small com i ” p an es are pleasantest .

He was full o f blessed egotism and ’ f- placid sel importance , but he didn t k - now as much as a 3 em quad . “ A cat that eat up an entire box of ’ z Seidlit powders , and then hadn t any more judgment than to go and take a k ” drin .

It is the nature of woman to ask trivial , irrelevant and pursuing ques — s s ouf a tions , que tions that pur ue y rom beginning in nothing to a run -to - cover in nowhere .

We w k al ed out into the grass grown , fragment - strewn court beyond the Parthe It non . startled us every now and then , to see a stony white face stare suddenly of up at us out the grass with its dead . he T place seemed alive with ghosts . I half expected to see the Athenian heroes of twenty centuries ago glide out of the shadows , and steal into the old temple they knew so well and regarded w ith l i d ” suc h bound ess p r e . 202 M a rk Tw ain

N ow At sea . came the resurrection

hour , the berths gave up their dead . These pale spectres in plug hats file up ” the companion way . “ Age enlarges and enriches the powers of - some musical instruments , notably

of — those the violin , but it seems to set a ’ ” piano s teeth on edge .

k o f k I am a Yan ee the Yan ees , a o f practical man , nearly barren sentiment — i h f or poetry other words , my ather was k r a blac smith , my uncle was a ho se ” d . octor , and I was both

“ ‘ He found that the education of the nineteenth century is plenty good enough capital to go into business in the sixth ’ w as century with , and the next year he running the kingdom all by himself on a ” o f f moderate royalty orty per cent . “ There didn ’t seem to be brains enough fi sh- k in the entire nursery to bait a hoo , but you didn ’t mind that after a little for saw while , you that brains were not l k and ul needed in a society i e that , wo d ” have marred i ts sy mmetry and spoiled it.

20¢ Ma rk Tw a in

If I had another cold in the head , and there was no course left me but to take either an earthquake or a quart of w arm k salt w ater , I would ta e my chances on k ” the earthqua e . “ t k of k o f Ah , to hin it , only to thin it ! — f f l For the poor old aith u creature . she f f l . W e was so aith u ould you believ it . she had been a servant in that self- same house and that self- same family for

- C is twenty seven years come hr tmas , and never a cross word and never a lick! co k And , oh , thin she should meet such a death at last! - a sitting over the red ’ k hot stove at three o cloc in the morning, and went to sleep and fell on it and w as actually roasted ! N ot just frizzled up a ' r bit, but literally roasted to a crisp . Poo f f k ! aith ul creature , how she was coo ed am if I but a poor woman , but even I have to scrimp to do it , I will put up a ' ’ tombstone over that lone sufl erer s grave - i f Mr. R and iley , you would have the goodness to think up a little epitaph to p ut on it which w ould sort of desc r i be ” the awful way in w hich she met her-f h ’ A52} l e a na Work i . 3 05

7 it Well 4 0716 f hf Put , , good and ait ul ’ ’

! R . servant said iley , and never smiled

The less a man knows the bigger noise he makes and the higher s alary he ” commands . “ Who can j om i n the heartless libel that say s woman is extravagant in dress when h e can look back and call to mind our simple and lowly mother Eve arrayed in her modification of the Highland ” costume .

“ He buys the original pig for a dollar f f f ’ and a hal , and eeds him orty dollars w of for orth corn , and then sells him 1 T about n ne dollars . his is the only crop he ever makes any money on He loses k on the corn , but he ma es seven and a half on the hog .

“ He o st od bewildered a moment , with a sense of goneness on hi mlike one who finds himself suddenly overboard upon a midni ht ea a nd the g s , beholds ship pass nto s hroudi n w f i g gloom , hile the dread ul c onvi c tion fall s upon hi s soul that he has ” n not bee missed. “ ’ k o f n w Just a hun brai s, that s hat he ” was .

“ He w ill eat a man , he will eat a B -he ible, will eat anything between a B ” man and a ible .

He wrote with impressive flatulence and soaring confidence upon the vastest subjects ; but p ufii ng alms- gifts o f wed C k ding a e , salty ice cream , abnormal

s z watermelon , and sweet potatoes the si e ” o f s your leg was his be t hold .

“ Tomappeared on the sidewalk with a bucket o f whitewash and a long - handled He f brush . surveyed the ence , and all f gladness le t him , and a deep melancholy w T settled do n upon his spirit . hirty o f f f fe yards board ence nine eet high . Li to him seemed hollow , and existence but a burden . Sighing , he dipped his brush and passed it along the topmost plank; repeated the opera tion ;did it again ;com p ared the insignificant whitewashed s treak with the far- reaching continent of u f e sat dow n on nwhitewashed enc , and ” - the tree box discouraged .

2 08 Mark Twa in

' A cross between a tired mud turtle ” and e a crippled hearse hors .

He but f means well, art is olly to him ;he only understands groceries .

His strawberries would be a comfort able success if the robins would eat tur n ’ n ips , but they won t , and he ce the difii c ult y . H aving forgotten to mention it sooner, k s I will remar , in conclu ion , that the ages o f the Siamese Twins are resp ec ” fift - f - tively y one and fi ty three years . I found the brave fellow in a pro f ound French calm . I sav French calm , because French calmness and English o f ff He calmness have points di erence . was moving swiftly back and forth o f f among the debris his urniture , now and then staving chance fragments of it across the rohm with his foot ;grinding a constant grist of c ursqs through his set teeth ; and halting every little while to ' deposi another handful of his hai r on the pile which he had been buildingr o f it ” on the table . His L e a izi Work 20 if . 9

' The place is as dark as the inside of ’ a n infidel .

‘ f She was a per ect polyglot once , but somehow her palate got down .

his f e to And so saying , he turned ac ” the wall and gave up the ghost .

e f k f W write ran ly and earlessly , but ‘ ’ ” f r then w e modi y before we p int .

h k -f O , I now him . A sallow aced , - f w t red headed ellow , ith a lit le scar on the ‘ Side of his throat like a spli nter under ” the flesh .

A woman who could face the d evil himself— or a mouse— loses her grip and goes all t o pieces i n front of a flash of ” li ghtning .

He was a man of middle siz e and f k compact rame , and when he was thin of k ing deeply , he had a way nitting his brows and tapping his forehead refl ec ti vel y with his finger, which impressed you at once with the conviction that you stood in the presence of a person of no c ommon order. 2 1 0 M a rk Tw a in

The poem is smooth and blubbery; it rea ds like buttermilk gurgling from a ” jug .

A sincere compliment is always grate ful ’ to a young lady , so long as you don t to k k try noc her down with it . Cai n is branded a murderer so heart lessly and unanimously in America , only because he was neither a Democrat nor a ” Republican .

“ A w long cadaverous creature , ith lanky locks hanging down to hi s k ’ shoulders, and a wee s stubble bristling ” of f from the hills and valleys his ace .

‘ Epitaphs are cheap , and they do a o f f ea poor chap a world good a ter he is d d , especially if he had hard luck while he ” was alive . I wish they were used more .

I do not know how it came about ex ac tl y , but gradually we appeared to melt down and run together , conversationally k w t spea ing , and then everything en f k k along as com ortably as cloc wor .

2 1 2 M a rk Tw a i n

s r o f 1 8 In the p ing 94, when the long c urling locks of M ark Twain were

ur s t ned to gray , and the humori t had ss s o f his f pa ed the ixtieth year li e, there c u s n ame pon him a cru hing blow . O A 1 8 the s firmof pril , p ubli hing Charles

W s o o N e r L . C f w k of eb ter Yo , M r s w as which . Clemen the senior part

d ss ner, ma e an a ignment and in the financial crash the private fortune o f M ark Tw ain which the work o f a life had e w as u time dev loped , drawn pon

th s of ti e f r heavily to meet e liabilitie . ailu e.

The W s r eb ter Company , the ea lier history o f which i s told in a previous C a as h pter, w prominent among the pub i i n The l sh g concerns o f this country . management o f the business having been entirely in the hands o f incompetent and

M r. s inexperienced men , and Clemen devoting none of his personal time to the afi airs o f s the Company , occa ioned a c ollapse which w as not expected by the

k a o f s boo tr de the United State . The firm originally published only k k T f e a ds wor s of M ar wain, but a t rw r Hi s L ife a nd Wor k. 2 1 3

s o f u rs added tho e other a tho , principally s s r k The s r ub c iption boo s. financial t ength o f firm as M r n the w centered in . Cleme s. M r . W s 2 6 1 8 1 eb ter died April , 9 , and Frederick J uHall succeeded him in the

as v . firm , and continued acti e manager Among the works published were the “ M f ” “ L f emoirs o Gen . Grant and the i e ” o f Po eo M e pe L . Upon the Grant

s s M rs moir the Web ter Company paid . Grant in royalties over and sent to her the largest bank check ever paid by a publisher for royalties on a

u s . k The u o of the p bli hed boo . p blicati n ” a M s “ L f o f L eo Gr nt emoir , the i e Pope , ’ s k s Gen . Sheridan boo and other hi torical

ks and biographical wor , placed the firm

o f s L W s C o . Charle . eb ter , in the f o o f r s rs r nt rank Ame ican publi he .

s hs d su t Ala , notwit tan ing ch a brillian r o for u fi rm ec rd a yo ng and growing , its us s s for futu and gorgeo pro pect the re, the financial cras h came and both the wealth and reputation o f M ark Twain sufi erea keenly as a result o f his pl ac ing s f tru t and aith in inexperienced men . CAPTAIN CHARLES mm5 RKS WO .

Captain King 18 ac knowledge d to be with out a eer in his c hose eld wh c h he dus p n fi , i in i s lt v t s There has for so e e rs tr ouly c ui a e . m y a been a steadily inc reas ing demand for his r stor es and if it wer ut to a vot e to a my i , e p da as to the ost o u r A er c ovel st y, m p p la m i an n i , the name of Cap tain King would undoubtedly be ou d o the l aders f n am ng e .

Clo th, 75C. “ ” AN ARMY WIFE,

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Pub li o Le d Ph i la d el p a bold pri vateer venturing up on the ” hi g h seas. “ S a n Fra n c isc o It is a good story. the strong rts oi Ch ro ni c l e whi c h are the c onfl i c t between ove and un c ons c i enc e on the p art of a o g Angli c an p ri est . The c mof t he book however es in t he bri skness oi t h har , e di n ’ ” o ue whi c h i s as fi nel fi n shed as an of Ho e s nov l g , y i y p els . ’ N a s h vi ll e ‘ Father S tafl ord i s a c h armi ng s to The B a nn e r whole book s us t ains t he rep utati on t t Ah o as mad e and a dds another roof tha thony H p e h , p t as a p ort rayer of c hara c te rs of sharp di s tinc tnesa and individ o ” o s u uti li ty . he has n p erior. “ mri ’ Eveni ng A writer of great e t. Mr. Hop e s - Wi sc o ns i n w ork has a quali ty o f s uai ghtforwardn t h at re c ommends it to read ers who have grown ti red ” the load ed novel . “ Phi l li p sb nrg Thi s is consi dered by his c riti c s to be one urna l he s t n est most bea . J o or t ro g , utiful and in

t eres ti ng novels Mr. How has ever wri tten. There is not um ” a dull li ne i n the enti re vol e. “ mus e ment he dialo ue is bri ht and wo A T g g rldly , M t he ot her c harac ters do not snfl er because minent is the hero the are well d rawn an so p ro ; y . d quit e ” out of the ordinary . “ Van i t A very i nterestin narrati ve , and Mr. B a N e w !ark t ells the s to ry ai ger t h at fashi on whi ch g " woul d seemto have mad e p ec uli arly hi s own. “ Ka nsas Ci ty There is somethi ng more thanthe romance ’ o urna l of t he ac ti on to h old t he reader min J s d. It ’ ” i s one of the author s bes t p ro d uc ti ons . “ d ' o i mas ter of Ev M y S a tur a y Antho n H w s a di alogue. Il l . and to lii s art in t his cular is d ue e enti c i ng interest whi c h l eads the on fromp age ” t o p age . “ Heb rew The s trife between the obligati on of a vow of S t an d a rd c eli bacy and the romp ti ngs of true love are - vi vul l a W ed i n thi s li ttle k . It c ontain-an ndni i rgggd es cri p ti on of E ngli s h c ountry life. and i s well a, t' “ 3 00t It has enough of the c harmof Q ' thor s t hought and s tyle to ldentlb C. ” make i t ver leasi n M and y p g.

m c anTop . last-ll. as 0“ ' WCfl t Y Ive Den“ .

O DD F O L K S . B y O p i e R e a d . M O U N TAI N O F G O L D B W i l l i s S t el ] A . y e . F ’ H T R S l l e n R ob O N E O EARTH S D AUG E . E M r r i P H S IN L I X B M r s . a o e T E P A S G O F A . y j r H R o b i n s o N AR A S TI . B C h a l e s . n L U C U C y . ’ L T B F H e fi e r n an TH E P A M E TO . y . S . .

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L F H fi e r n a n . I M O A. B y . S . e TO P IA B F r a n k R o s e w a t e r U . y . m B L AC K F R I D A Y . B y Th o a s B . C o n n e r y . ’ L TH D S F A L T. B Th o s B . C o n n e AL E O G U y . L S B F r n TH E M A A C HI TE C R O S . y a k N o r t o A F S CIN ING S I N N ER B D e l t a A AT . y .

H Y P N O TI S M . B y J n l e s C l a r e t i e . H I F TO O L S A m l i K ER C E S HU NT S U . e a Fyt i ‘H E F O RT N ES O F M AR G AR ET W EL D U . B y S . M . W J O U N Y To VEN S B G . P o e A R E U . y . p . R TTI B l i H w a r d Hi l PA O L A C O LE . y A c e o t o n W O S NG E AD VEN T R ER S B C o rn w a T TRA U . y Y S P NIS S W EETH EA B F O RT A. b e M A H . y . ’ TH E P IN S R O M A N C E B O i e R C A TA . y p ead AD O P D D A G H TER) B F a w c et t THE TE U y . TO M B R O W N ’S S CH O O L D AYS B H l . y ug h

A PP E D B R . L S t e v n K ID N . e s n b y . o . AH L AR K A o n n I C E . B M C y . C a D o y l e . H E S IG N O F F O R B D T . o l e THE U y y . R AL B S P O O Y . A n t h o n H o e RT y y p .

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F S TAF F O R D . B A n t h o n H ATHER y y o p e. B O N D M A N B H l l i . a C a n e THE y . M INI S ’S W K P O I N T B THE TER EA . y M a c ] ’ L O VE S EX TREM ES B Th o m . s o n AT y p . Y IG N O T L A W B R B . H S h . . e r a r d R HT, y . I N D ARK ES T EN G L A N D B e n r . y G e a l B o o t h . EO P L E ’S R EF ERE E B O O K P N C . M W S ING O N C O O K B O O K ARTHA A H T .

HEAL TH AN D B EA Y. mi l o UT E y S . B o nt M By - Tw enty fi ve Cents.

TR G E C O M P AN Y B G u B o o t i ll S AN . y y h b y . i (W i t h f ul l -p a g e h a l f -t o n e I l l us t r a t i o N D — A H S B AN D B Vo i s i n R . E TE U y . M A N T O S S M R TH E N E W A R E E . B M r s J H W l y . . . a w o ’ W O M AN S M IS K o r O N A M AR I N A G . TA E , , B y J ul i us C h a mb O E TO O EI AN Y B M TH E N . y rs . L y n n L i nt o n

TH E F A T A N D TH E THI N B E mi l e . y ! o l a . T R B l A DI A K E T VAL E . G r a n t A l e n U y . R A H EL D N E B R e r t h n C E . y o b B uc a a n . T H H B h E M I N O R C O RD . y J . M . C a p p l e . B S R T B J M C h O S B A . y . . a p p l e . TH S O F D AW N B F e us Hum E G . r e ATE y g . AN E K EN T C KY B E L E B e N C L . G r e n e . , A U y B ul l I l l u B I E R F R ITS . M . C a r o F s t r t TT U y . ( y a A R E DIEN G AY D EC EIV ERS B r F r a n k y M s . L e L E Y ’ W IT AN D H U M O N Y E AN D B I S R .

’ B I L L N YE S S PAR K S. O VE F I RS O F W O R L D L Y M AN L AF A A . B y M a i b e ll e J us ! LO VE L ETTERS O F A W O R L D L Y W O M A P B M r s y . W . K . o mr WA S IT S I C I D E ? B El l a W h e e l e r W i l c o x U y . ’ m t L A D . B C L AU D E A S I S N y Es e S ua r t . EB S TER 'S P R O N O N C I N G D IC TI O N AR Y W U .

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em a mm , r i m o Bngba ton, n. Y. i s devoted to the w ork of building the ’ N ational Commerc ial Travelers Home in that c ity . It is a public ation of high literary merit — especially interesting to the travel ing public .

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