Goodland Star-News
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14 The Goodland Star-News / Tuesday, October 26, 2004 abigail Homer will be retiring after the ing to AARP, research has proven As to your not having enough I spent most of my life wishing I 35-year wife first of the year with a very nice an- that regular volunteering prolongs money to live on your own, volun- were dead. It will take time to work van buren nuity, which I feel I have earned, too. life expectancy and improves a teers are sometimes hired for full- through the feelings that took years I have a small pension, but it’s too person’s physical and psychological time positions — and that would to cultivate. My “temporary” prob- ready to pack up small to live on my own. I don’t well-being. In your case, it is essen- mean your economic situation could lem lasted more than 50 years. If I •dear abby know if I can bear Homer’s company tial. change for the better. Please consider can get better, anyone can. and leave 24/7, but can I really start again at The National Senior Service volunteering, because it could serve The money I’m paying my thera- DEAR ABBY: For 35 years I have has made sure that we live where he 65? Corps specializes in placing older a dual purpose and save your sanity. pist (none of which is covered by in- been married to the most manipula- wants to live, vacation where he Everyone calls us the “perfect volunteers in volunteer assignments DEAR ABBY: You often advise surance) is cheap at twice the price. tive, cunning, critical man ever born. wants to go, drive the car he likes, couple,” but I am miserable and he in their communities. Three national people to seek counseling from psy- I finally see a light at the end of the “Homer” gets what he wants by us- and have even decorated our home is driving me closer to the door. I programs under the NSSC umbrella chotherapists. You are “right on” tunnel and I am at peace. — FEEL- ing “helpful hints,” offering “ad- in his preferred colors. have often thought of just packing up are the Foster Grandparent Program, with that advice, but please also tell ING BETTER IN THE U.S.A. vice” and telling me “what’s best,” During the first years of our mar- and leaving. Can you help? — SAD the Senior Companion Program, and them not to give up if the therapist DEAR FEELING BETTER: and sometimes even getting blue in riage, I gave in because I loved him. IN THE SOUTH the Retired and Senior Volunteer they find doesn’t work for them. Congratulations on your progress. the face and crying. He is very good Later, I did it to avoid an argument. DEAR SAD: Since you know you Program — a “one-stop shopping” I am 60 years old and on my fourth I’m pleased you finally found a at it, never quite overplaying his Now I do it out of habit. I loathe can’t bear your husband’s company for senior volunteers. To find out therapist. I finally found someone therapist who is meeting your needs. hand. He wears me down until I fi- Homer for making me a doormat, 24/7, consider some alternatives. what’s available in your community, who is helping me, and I feel great. I Sometimes finding that “perfect fit” nally give in. and I loathe myself for allowing it to One solution might be to volunteer call (800) 424-8867, or search online didn’t give up and all my hard work can be a process of trial and error, and By using this technique, Homer happen. your time to a worthy cause. Accord- at: joinseniorservice.org. is paying off. I commend you for not giving up. 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