Notre Dame Scholastic, Vol. 146, No. 02

\: ' 1 ••

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...... -... ~ ...... -- _---

-~-.-- :.:-:-.~_t_-~:--.-- 04 ----.-- - ...>-_ ... The MonkYears Emily Paladino An examination of Father Malloy's achievements and challenges during his presidency.

A Spark in the Powder Keg? Mike Borgia The revoking of this would-be Notre Dame professor's visa has spurred a lot of controversy on campus and natIOll'IY1.Q~!.-.~SG:ijj

- .' -.... ".-.. ~-"~-

The Road to Additions Lauren Wilcox The university plans to make more noteworthy changes to campus, including the closing ofJuniper Road.

" . There Is a Museum .on This Campus? Nick Kolman-Mandie ,'. . Scholastic takes a look at the world-renowned art right in our own backyard. . .

Girls with Goals Megan Connelly , . " The women's soccer team gears up for a stellar season after sunny pre-season play in Brazil. -... _.'...... """-"=

Musings of a Misunderstood Messiah Steve Mattingly ,~.-~-.~:-c~~.~-'t .... -:-.- ':.'" Scholastic convinced Notre Dame senior. Steve Mattingly to . ' comment on all things random .

From the Editor • • '...... 2 Cribs •••.. " ...... 18 NO Notebook •••••.. '. 4 Snapshot...... • • 20 Campus Watch • • • . . .. IS Being Like Mike . . . . • • • 38 Making Sense ...... 16 Final Word ...... 40

09 liBRlB'IBER. 2004 SCHOLASTICMAGAZINE \: ' 1 ••

- ~-, .. ~... -~------

...... -... ~ ...... -- _---

-~-.-- :.:-:-.~_t_-~:--.-- 04 ----.-- - ...>-_ ... The MonkYears Emily Paladino An examination of Father Malloy's achievements and challenges during his presidency.

A Spark in the Powder Keg? Mike Borgia The revoking of this would-be Notre Dame professor's visa has spurred a lot of controversy on campus and natIOll'IY1.Q~!.-.~SG:ijj

- .' -.... ".-.. ~-"~-

The Road to Additions Lauren Wilcox The university plans to make more noteworthy changes to campus, including the closing ofJuniper Road.

" . There Is a Museum .on This Campus? Nick Kolman-Mandie ,'. . Scholastic takes a look at the world-renowned art right in our own backyard. . .

Girls with Goals Megan Connelly , . " The women's soccer team gears up for a stellar season after sunny pre-season play in Brazil. -... _.'...... """-"=

Musings of a Misunderstood Messiah Steve Mattingly ,~.-~-.~:-c~~.~-'t .... -:-.- ':.'" Scholastic convinced Notre Dame senior. Steve Mattingly to . ' comment on all things random .

09 liBRlB'IBER. 2004 SCHOLASTICMAGAZINE VoI.146,No.2· 09 SEPT 2004 SCHOLaSTIC

COVER ILLUSTRATION NELL RYAN, NICK ABRAMS

Editors in Chief Mike Borgia Annie Robinson Managing Editor Friends. and Brothers Jennifer Osterhage Executive Editor Meghan Gowan Executive Design Editor in Holy Cross NickAbrams Hey Notre Dame,You Assistant Managing Editor jim Ryan General Manager Christopher Kelly Caught Us Mending News Emily Paladino, editor Alisa Finelli, assistant Anna O'Connor, assistant Our Magazine·· Campus Life Lauren Wilcox, editor Katie Solan, assistant Sports .' .. :." Welcome back to the Bend. We at Scholastic know that the past two Christopher Meskill, editor Mike Iselin, assistant weeks most likely have brought you many changes. Your first misguided Entertainment FlexPoint shopping spree, first early-morning dorm fire alarm due to Nick Kolman-Mandie, editor: Beth Murphy, assistant ..... the innate inability of 18-year-old girls to make popcorn correcdy, first Departments .. ~" Mike Healy, editor (and hopefully only) football loss .of the season, and now, a redesigned Erik Powers, assistant bi-'weekly magazine .. Design Nell Ryan David Redenbaugh look for We think of the new Scholastic as a herald to the. new era: a new per Tekla Sauter ISSUE 3 Photograp~y " .. ~~.: .:.' ::: on forming arts center,a. new university president-elect and; for many of Phil Hall, editor SEPT 23 us, our first opportunity for civic participation this November. Brenna Mannion, assistant ...... Graphic Design Christine Graham, editor Thanks to the toil and tears of our dedicated staff, especially our design.. Copy Seminarians Greg: Haake, e.S.e., Pete McCormick, C,S,C,,· Mo Ertel, chief Stephen Koeth, e.S.C., and Jim Gallagher, C.S_C. ers, Scholastic has a new look for the fall. Along with returning fan favorites jennifer Wadkins, assistant Advisor like Cribs and the Gipper, we've got new humor columnists.andapolitical Robert Franken '69 op-ed coluffinist. We hope that you like our changes and encourage you to share what you love and loathe in letters to the editor.

Disce Quasi Semper Victurus Viue Quasi Gras Moriturus .

..... : : !J:: :: .... ' Published biweekly at the University of Notre Dame and printed .. ~.. atAve Maria Press, Notre Dame,IN,46556.The entire contents of ~ Scholastic Magazine is copyright 2004 University of Notre Dame. All .. C·· rights reserved. No contents of this magazine. either In whole or In part. may.be.reproduced in any manner without written consent of the publisher. Scholastic Magazine does not assume liability for unso Mike Borgia Annie Robinson licited manuscripts or material.AII correspondence should be sent to Scholastic Magazine, laFortune Student.C~nter, Notre Dame, IN 46556.T6 be published in the next issue:h~tterS must be received by 5:00 p.m. Monday before the Issue. Coming out everyday. All letters must include the writer's name, address and p,hone number. All letters must be signed. Names will be withheld upon request in certain instances. Scholastic reserves the right to edit letters for space. Requests for co~rections made more than 21 days after pub~ lication cannot be guaranteed.The subscription rate Is $35 per year. Available back Issues are $2.50 per copy; please specify volume and number, or date. Copies of the annual football review are available ANSWER~ at $5 per copy. Advertising rates available on request. The opinions ~ THE CAL.L. .V(!)J. expressed in Scholastic Magazine are not necessarily those of. the University of Notre Dame or the stuaent body~ . .. .. - -

2 SCHOLASTICFROM THE EDITOR 09 SEPTEMBER 2004

------.- ,. . . ,.. ( , . VoI.146,No.2· 09 SEPT 2004 SCHOLaSTIC

COVER ILLUSTRATION NELL RYAN, NICK ABRAMS

Disce Quasi Semper Victurus Viue Quasi Gras Moriturus .

2 SCHOLASTICFROM THE EDITOR 09 SEPTEMBER 2004

------.- ,. . . ,.. ( , . i/SGH0l.'ASTIHG A Face to Remember The story behind the other "Scream"

AUSAFINELU on display at the request ofJohnson, who ny Notre Dame student, alum or now teaches in Detroit at the College of Aenthusiast is sure to be familiar Creative Studies. The sculpture of the torso and tilted head was finished in 1996 Judgment Calls with the easily identifiable land Top 5 marks on campus: Touchdown Jesus and installed for Johnson's 1997 Bachelor Opinions and observations and the reflecting pool, North Quad's of Fine Arts show. Stonehenge and, "My work reflects Books Monk Should Write NOTRE DAME GUYS of course, the the influence ofliv ··.' after His Retirement: 0. UNAFRAID TO Golden Dome. ing between two ELLIPTICAL SCHOLASTIC EXECUTIVE STAFF There is yet cultures: the Euro Men, we salute you and your another sight American and the unabashed willingness to do low southern Mrican," The Definitive Guide n the previous presidential election, in the November election. on this long list, impact cardio, no matter the cost albeit a truly un explains Johnson in to Making a Television IGeorge W. Bush won Florida by a The Notre Dame Rock the Vote Cam I to your Rock reputation. conventionalone. his autobiography. handful of votes. This presidential paign is sponsoring a series of lectures, Commercial It sits outside of "The 18 years I election, the first in which many of us debates and panels on a variety of elec (IN)CONSPICUOUS O'Shaughnessy spent in Zimbabwe will have the opportunity to vote, may be tion issues. Upcoming events include a CROSSWORD-DOERS IN Hall and is com and Zambia have equally as close. According to the latest faculty panel on Sept. 20 entitled "The CLASS What's a five-letter monly referred been a significant Sex in the UniverCity: A poll in The New York Times, approximately Election and International Issues," and a .. word for "Everyone, including to by students as influence on--my 2 172 votes in the Electoral College were debate between David Com, editor of the history of parietals in'the your seemingly oblivious "the screaming persistent interest up for grabs in the "swing states." The Nation, and Rich Lowry, editor of the Na United States professor, knows that you face." The face, in addressing hu Republican party can ------tionalReview, on Sept. 22 are not just staring at your whose formal man struggles for safely claim 187 and The continued threat of at 7:00 p.m. at McKenna notebook intently?" the Democratic par name is Inner identity and place terrorism at home and abroad, Hall. A complete listing ty a close 179. States Vision II, was ment," he adds. as well as the weakened of events is at http://cent Put the Echoes Back to POPPED COLLARS that traditionally created by Chido Johnson explains eiforsocialconcerns. nd. edul that Inner Vision II Nothing says "I'm cool and have displayed par economy and the ever divisive justice_edlelection.shtml. Johnson, a former 3 Sleep: Notre Dame Football, was a natural fol independent" like doing something tisan bias, are now pro-life/pro-choice issue will With only 55 days graduate student 1994-2004 and professor in low-up to his pre just because you've seen other up for grabs in the also prove to be deciding until the election, there people doing the same thing. So race to reach 270. Notre Dame's vious work Inner factors in the November are only 25 days left art department. Vision I, which now let's put this one to bed and go The number of to register to vote and service members The sculpture resides in a school back to our sideways visors. election. subinit a request for an is unique not only in his native Zimba Dodging the Poverty Vow: killed in the war in absentee ballot. The in its appearance bwe. Inner Vision II How to run a school whose CAMPUS BUILDINGS Iraq promises to be necessary procedures 4 but also in how it represents "a quest THAT LOOK LIKE a defining factor in the upcoming elec vary by state, but information for all can endowment is greater than became a display for knowledge and CASTLES tion. The death toll reached the definitive be found at http://www.nass.orglelectioninfol the GDP of most third-world on campus. Usu understanding" While we love that our new number of 1,000 soldiers on Tues., Sept 7. electfaq.html. For general FAQs and a link nations Bush continues to support the war, stat ally, sculptures :OUT OFTHE ORDINARY Inner Vision II was not and is constructed buildings contribute to our image to your state's election office, check the I ing that it was - and still is - right for are chosen by ,chosen for display by the Selection and Deaccession of three differ..; as a Catholic Disney World, do we "State Election Offices" page. If you are : Committee like most other campus sculptures. ent stones. The the Selection .. - . - - ~ .. ~- _.. -. -- really need a security building/post America, while Democratic presidential not registered to vote, y~)U can do so at and Deaccession black is from office that Prince Charles could candidate John Kerry declares that the http://www.rockthevote.com. 0 Committee headed by Charles Loving, di Zimbabwe, the white is from Italy and The Electric Kool-Aid Acid call home? So that's where the war was misguided, claiming that Bush's middle initial "W' stands for his many rector of the Snite Museum. A benefactor the limestone is from Alabama. To J ohn Test Does, in Fact, Work increase in tuition is going. The Peace Coalition is sponsoring a prayer 5 willing to fund a new sculpture approaches son, these materials from three different "wrong" decisions. vigil Thu., Sept. 9, to commemorate the 1,000 The war in Iraq is only one of the many the committee with a project proposal. continents symbolize a person's potential CAR SALES IN STUDENT U.S. soldiers and over 13,000 Iraqi civilians "hybridic identity." Holes instead of eyes issues relevant to college-aged voters. The who have been killed in the war. The service After the acceptance of a project by the PARKING continued threat of terrorism at home and committee, the process is then passed on represent access and passage. Johnson, $30,000 a year in tuition and $100 begins at 9:00 p.m. at the South Quad flagpole who hasn't been back to campus since abroad, as well as the weakened economy and will proceed to the Grotto., to the art department. Interested artists for a parking permit? Yeah, you can and the ever divisive pro-life/pro-choice submit proposals in hopes that their ideas 2002, says he wants to return soon to see park on the muddy grass next to issue, also will prove to be deciding factors most closely reflect the benefactor's initial his work that has now become an unof the baseball stadium. VISIon. ficial landmark. As he says, "It's kind of Inner Vision II, however, was not chosen ironic that it's become a symbolic marker." o

4 SCHOLASTICNEWS 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICNEWS 5 i/SGH0l.'ASTIHG A Face to Remember The story behind the other "Scream"

4 SCHOLASTICNEWS 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICNEWS 5 for me, both as a person and as a Holy she has seen increasing attempts to . '. Cross priest," he says. recruit not only minority students Malloy's primary presidential purpose but also minority faculty members. of preserving the Catholic character of The creation of such centers as the Notre Dame also proved to be his biggest Institute for Latino Studies, and.' challenge. Leaders of Catholic institu the increased attention that has tions must be unequivocally dedicated been given to Latino and African ,. to protecting academic freedom, and the American Studies programs show violation of this freedom is contradictory that multicultural awareness has ., to the Church's teachings. The university grown Immense. Iy on campus. "I i has been successful, he says, in progress- think Monk will be sorely missed," Out ,,~>,/}ps::as an. e?ucational .instit~~ion while law says. "The mark he has left has really '··~tillrerhammg true to Its relIgIOUS foun been a continuation of what was started dations: "Lthink Notre Dame has been under Father Hesburgh during the Civil able to strike.. the right middle ground in Rights Movement." the sense that we have been faithful to The university's strong commitment Notre Dame's our mission, but we are a place where free to ensuring that students are provided· inquiry is promoted and where academic with adequate financial aid has allowed a. growth under its freedom is respected. more diverse range of students to afford "Nobody can spend time on this cam a Notre Dame education. Malloy says he 16th president pus and not believe that it's a Catholic sees the fruits of that commitment in the university, in the best sense of the term, freshman seminar he teaches. "I've had .:.~.-.--, ,- but that we're a full-fledged university students in my classes who have been the. wi,th all the give and take and diversity sons or daughters 6f migrant worke~s or' and the disagreements that go along with janitors. I've also had students whose·par it." Dick Conklin, retired associate vice ents are billionaires. I had the daughter of EMILYPALADINO president for university relations, agrees. the head of a country," he says. "Ina time fraught with tension between One accomplishment Malloy is par- en the Rev. Edward "Monk" (1969), he was familiar with Notre Dame challenges, and I've tried to do that. He a secular notion of higher education and Malloy, C.S.c., ascended to ticularly proud of was raising nearly $1: 1 .... ,,,,','.',"', .. ,_ ~:".U~"."~.le.~~L'y W: and was viewed as a natural successor to set the model." pne that preserves a religious dimension, billion in the;universitY'srecently' com- the presidency of the Univer the beloved Hesburgh. Malloy says it wasn't difficult to follow ~'N6tre Dame is clearly a Catholic univer pleted "Generations" capital campaign. sity of Notre Dame in 1987, he had large "Father Ted did two great things for in the footsteps ofHesburgh; "People ask, This amount, he says, is unprecedented shoes to fill. In the university's ;, .sity - no mean feat," he says. 'What's it like to take over for .. " Malloy's second goal was to place a spe in Catholic higher education. While the 145 -year history, only 15 men a legend?' That wasn't in my had occupied the office of the -"-. . cial emphasis on the academic dimension head. I just said, 'Thank God ."(';fNotre Dame as well as to enhance the .....~ ,. . president, including Theodore If, after 18 years,we "had ,.... ". h~did such a great job with .•.. -- Hesburgh,John Zahm,John Ca '~graduate and research programs. A large accomplished'all our goals ... the university and estab "indicator of Malloy's success, the total vanaugh and, of course, Edward lished a lot of momentum. Sorin. Now Malloy, who will university enrollment has risen from and had lost our commitment I'm just going to try to build just under 10,000 students in 1987 to step down from the presidency in on that.'" June, will join the ranks of these to over 11,000 currently enrolled students. our Catholic mission and And build Malloy did. Additionally, funding for research has prestigious men as the university's When he first took office, newest president emeritus. Judg- identity, I would fee/my time [as increased .fourfold, and the number of Malloy outlined five major as frill-time faculty members who teach ing from the immense growth preSident] was a {ailure. pects of university life that he both on campus and within the both graduate and undergraduate courses wanted to improve. The first, has, risen by more than 200. student body and faculty under . .... ' .' -'.' Father Malloy, i of paramount importance to his leadership, Malloy has filled President of the University of Notre Dame ' Malloy's. third goal was to make the Malloy, was ensuring that the university a more ethnically, socio-eco the shoes he inherited well. university· remained faithful Malloy worked in the admin nomically, and coeducationally diverse to its Catholic mission and ,institution~The percentage of under istration for five years before identity. "If, after 18 years, we assuming the office of the presi represented minorities has increased had accomplished all our goals oymore tl),an 14 percent in the last dent. With three degrees from me," Malloy says. "One: He left the uni and had lost our commitment two incoming undergraduate classes to the university, including a Bachelor of versity in great shape. And two: He left to our Catholic mission and identity, I now comprise 21 percent of the student Arts in English (1963), a Master of Arts the campus for a year. He encouraged me would feel my time [as president] was a population.Iris Outlaw, director ofMul- , in English (1967) and a Master of Divinity to be my own person, to take on my own failure. There's no priority that's greater ticultural Programs and Services, says

6 SCHOLASTICCOVER STORY 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 for me, both as a person and as a Holy she has seen increasing attempts to . '. Cross priest," he says. recruit not only minority students Malloy's primary presidential purpose but also minority faculty members. of preserving the Catholic character of The creation of such centers as the Notre Dame also proved to be his biggest Institute for Latino Studies, and.' challenge. Leaders of Catholic institu the increased attention that has tions must be unequivocally dedicated been given to Latino and African ,. to protecting academic freedom, and the American Studies programs show violation of this freedom is contradictory that multicultural awareness has ., to the Church's teachings. The university grown Immense. Iy on campus. "I i has been successful, he says, in progress- think Monk will be sorely missed," Out ,,~>,/}ps::as an. e?ucational .instit~~ion while law says. "The mark he has left has really '··~tillrerhammg true to Its relIgIOUS foun been a continuation of what was started dations: "Lthink Notre Dame has been under Father Hesburgh during the Civil able to strike.. the right middle ground in Rights Movement." the sense that we have been faithful to The university's strong commitment Notre Dame's our mission, but we are a place where free to ensuring that students are provided· inquiry is promoted and where academic with adequate financial aid has allowed a. growth under its freedom is respected. more diverse range of students to afford "Nobody can spend time on this cam a Notre Dame education. Malloy says he 16th president pus and not believe that it's a Catholic sees the fruits of that commitment in the university, in the best sense of the term, freshman seminar he teaches. "I've had .:.~.-.--, ,- but that we're a full-fledged university students in my classes who have been the. wi,th all the give and take and diversity sons or daughters 6f migrant worke~s or' and the disagreements that go along with janitors. I've also had students whose·par it." Dick Conklin, retired associate vice ents are billionaires. I had the daughter of EMILYPALADINO president for university relations, agrees. the head of a country," he says. "Ina time fraught with tension between One accomplishment Malloy is par- en the Rev. Edward "Monk" (1969), he was familiar with Notre Dame challenges, and I've tried to do that. He a secular notion of higher education and Malloy, C.S.c., ascended to ticularly proud of was raising nearly $1: 1 .... ,,,,','.',"', .. ,_ ~:".U~"."~.le.~~L'y W: and was viewed as a natural successor to set the model." pne that preserves a religious dimension, billion in the;universitY'srecently' com- the presidency of the Univer the beloved Hesburgh. Malloy says it wasn't difficult to follow ~'N6tre Dame is clearly a Catholic univer pleted "Generations" capital campaign. sity of Notre Dame in 1987, he had large "Father Ted did two great things for in the footsteps ofHesburgh; "People ask, This amount, he says, is unprecedented shoes to fill. In the university's ;, .sity - no mean feat," he says. 'What's it like to take over for .. " Malloy's second goal was to place a spe in Catholic higher education. While the 145 -year history, only 15 men a legend?' That wasn't in my had occupied the office of the -"-. . cial emphasis on the academic dimension head. I just said, 'Thank God ."(';fNotre Dame as well as to enhance the .....~ ,. . president, including Theodore If, after 18 years,we "had ,.... ". h~did such a great job with .•.. -- Hesburgh,John Zahm,John Ca '~graduate and research programs. A large accomplished'all our goals ... the university and estab "indicator of Malloy's success, the total vanaugh and, of course, Edward lished a lot of momentum. Sorin. Now Malloy, who will university enrollment has risen from and had lost our commitment I'm just going to try to build just under 10,000 students in 1987 to step down from the presidency in on that.'" June, will join the ranks of these to over 11,000 currently enrolled students. our Catholic mission and And build Malloy did. Additionally, funding for research has prestigious men as the university's When he first took office, newest president emeritus. Judg- identity, I would fee/my time [as increased .fourfold, and the number of Malloy outlined five major as frill-time faculty members who teach ing from the immense growth preSident] was a {ailure. pects of university life that he both on campus and within the both graduate and undergraduate courses wanted to improve. The first, has, risen by more than 200. student body and faculty under . .... ' .' -'.' Father Malloy, i of paramount importance to his leadership, Malloy has filled President of the University of Notre Dame ' Malloy's. third goal was to make the Malloy, was ensuring that the university a more ethnically, socio-eco the shoes he inherited well. university· remained faithful Malloy worked in the admin nomically, and coeducationally diverse to its Catholic mission and ,institution~The percentage of under istration for five years before identity. "If, after 18 years, we assuming the office of the presi represented minorities has increased had accomplished all our goals oymore tl),an 14 percent in the last dent. With three degrees from me," Malloy says. "One: He left the uni and had lost our commitment two incoming undergraduate classes to the university, including a Bachelor of versity in great shape. And two: He left to our Catholic mission and identity, I now comprise 21 percent of the student Arts in English (1963), a Master of Arts the campus for a year. He encouraged me would feel my time [as president] was a population.Iris Outlaw, director ofMul- , in English (1967) and a Master of Divinity to be my own person, to take on my own failure. There's no priority that's greater ticultural Programs and Services, says

6 SCHOLASTICCOVER STORY 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 Graduates from Notre .' Becomes member Key player in 1999 Book"Coliege Dame with B.A. in English of Notre Dame President's and Universities .fatllliY Service Summit in as Citizens" 1967 Receives M.A. in English Philadelphia and "Monk's from Notre Dame 1979 Moves into Sorin Reflections:A View CQII~g~ from the Dome" 1969· Receives Masters in Divinity as a seminarian from Notre 1986 Elected to the 1998 Vanderbilt Dame Board of Trustees University " ... ( 2003 Declares desire to establishes chair of resign presidency 1970 Ordained in Basilica of the Becomes President 1987 Catholic Studies in in June 2005 Sacred Heart ()f the Notre Dame his name

portrait of Father Malloy will soon join those of past Notre Dame presidents in Main Building. that we've been able to achieve multiple involved a student athlete who paid a sponsible for the situation." goals simultaneously. I think that's the tutor to write a paper for him. Malloy dealt with the situation by way a modern university needs to act. The university paid a high price for taking charge of the university's ath You can't just say, 'We're about financial these violations: it was on probation letics and putting it directly under his money from this fund will be used to en's sports have blossomed as six varsity, Arabic. Imagine the job offers you'd have aid,' or 'We're aboufteaching or about. for two years beginning in 1999, and jurisdiction. Before the sanctions, the further develop all areas of the univer women's sports were introduced - nearly after you graduated!" Malloy, ever the internatio~al programs.' You need to lost one football scholarship for each university vice president handled ath sity, the majority of the money from the half of the 13 women's sports teams now traveler, also says that he plans to spend say, 'We're trying, within our resource of these years. The sanctions were letics. "There was a great amount of campaign - dubbed "A Campaign for the at the university. Three of those teams time in both Australia and London after . base, to do a lot of those things, but they a publicity nightmare for Malloy, a scrutiny based on that whole situation, Notre Dame Student" -is being used to - soccer, basketball and fencing.~ have the completion of his tenure. all contribute to the quality of life and former Notre Dame varsity basketball and that was essentially what prompted provide aid directly to students through won national championships. "The suc Malloy's last main focus was an attempt the environment we have here.''' player. "In terms of public relations, the athletics to fall under Malloy's juris scholarships. cess rate of women's athletics has been to increase the interaction of the univer While Malloy certainly has beenim hardest thing I've ever had to do was diction," says John Heisler, associate The additional evidence of the universi comparable to the best programs in the sity with the neighboring city of South mensely successful as president, his job deal with our NCAA penalty. I mean, athletic director for Media Relations, ty's consistent dedication to its alumni and country," says Malloy. "We still need Bend. The Marie P.DeBartolo Center was never easy.· Throughout the years, I didn't do any thing, but I was still re- Broadcast and Contest Scheduling. Be- the fact that a quarter of Notre Dame un more women on the faculty and in lead for the Performing Arts was largely he has had to solve seemingly unwork dergraduates are legacies, he says, shows ership roles, but I think that ifyou look at constructed in an effort to enhance the able problems, make difficult decisions, TeachingAssistantTimothy Ruggaber works in .the environmental engineering lab below Cushing and . Fitzpatrick Halls. Under Father Malloy research funding has increased fourfold. that the university has been successful in where we are coeducationally, we've made university's relationship with the commu and steer the university through some accomplishing multiple goals at the same a lot of progress." nity. Members of the surrounding com very high-profile and potentially em time. "We've been able to find a way to The fourth initiative that Malloy want munity now have the opportunity to share barrassing public relations crises. achieve diversity while still being faithful ed to undertake was the incorporation of with the university in the celebration of For example, a widely-covered and to other important goals. Keeping that an international dimension into the larger the arts that is such an essential part of the highly scandalous official sanction multi generational thing going has been university. "I believe everyone ought to human experience, Malloy says. In addi .ing of the athletic program in 1999 a goal we've set for ourselves, too." study abroad as part of their Notre Dame tion, with the establishment of both the - the first in Notre Dame's history Malloy also wanted to diversify the experience. And if that means mastering Robinson Community Learning Center - tarnished Malloy'S presidency. The university by increasing the presence another language, I think that's impor and the Center for the Homeless during sanctions were the result of three and influence of women on campus in tant too," he says. "I'd love to see everyone Malloy's tenure, students have numerous separate violations. One sanction in order to make the university "more fully graduating from Notre Dame be bilin service opportunities throughout neigh valved a member of the booster club coeducational." The university hired two gual. I know we're far from that, but it's boring South Bend. who gave gifts to football players .and female departmental vice president~ this still something that I would recommend. Malloy says that he is satisfied with ; was romantically involved with several summer, and during Malloy's tenure, And even further, I think it would be great the amount of growth the university has athletes. Another revolved around an Notre Dame elected its first-ever female if people would graduate with fluency in undergone in the five areas that he set athlete whoofferedgame.tickets .asa student body president. Since 1987, wom- English, Spanish, Mandarin Chinese and out to improve. "What I'm proud of is r,ep,ayment forapersonallc;>an. The last '..... ':. ',;J.' ',- ,I',"'" •

8 SCHOLASTICCOVER STORY 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICCOVER STORY 9 Graduates from Notre .' Becomes member Key player in 1999 Book"Coliege Dame with B.A. in English of Notre Dame President's and Universities .fatllliY Service Summit in as Citizens" 1967 Receives M.A. in English Philadelphia and "Monk's from Notre Dame 1979 Moves into Sorin Reflections:A View CQII~g~ from the Dome" 1969· Receives Masters in Divinity as a seminarian from Notre 1986 Elected to the 1998 Vanderbilt Dame Board of Trustees University " ... ( 2003 Declares desire to establishes chair of resign presidency 1970 Ordained in Basilica of the Becomes President 1987 Catholic Studies in in June 2005 Sacred Heart ()f the Notre Dame his name

8 SCHOLASTICCOVER STORY 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICCOVER STORY 9 cause of his increased involvement in the lot of people, both in this country and Malloy university's athletics, Malloy "developed abroad, that I never would have known into one of the most influential people otherwise." When he thinks about signifi . by the numbers in college athletics," Heisler says. And cant moments of his years at Notre Dame, Malloy's involvement in college athletics he remembers "weddings and baptisms doesn't appear to be diminishing. He is and funerals, moments at which the fam currently the chair of a NCAA task force ily comes together." Faculty addressing gambling by student athletes His foremost memory of Notre Dame, at the university level. however, was the Mass on Sept. 11, 2001, Malloy also has had to address a multi that he celebrated on South Quad. While 1,053 tude of student-related issues during his 7,000 students, faculty and staff sat in the term as president, including the pres glaring sunshine, Malloy addressed a uni- ently contro- versity in the midst versial issue of of national turmoil. . tol ,500 the treatment of He says he especially homosexuality "[Malloy] developed was affected by "the on campus. sense of mutual He ascended to . into one of the most support and faith the presidency in that loomed large" Endowment the 1980s, during influential people in that day. which such issues college athletics." Malloy says that, as homosexuality, after he leaves his $350'· the Sexual Revo -John Heisler, . post in June, hewill lution and the take a sabbatical associate athletic direaor for . AIDS epidemic for a year and then dominated the Media Relations, Broadcast and return to campus .million national spot Contest Scheduling . to teach and write light. Despite books. He recently to the prevalence published a book en of such issues in titled Monk's Travels American society, administrators refused and has plans to write several more. .$3 billion .. to officially recognize OutreachND, a While he says that the university always group of gay, lesbian and bisexual stu will be growing and developing as an in dents. This official university decision stitution, he believes that it will-change sparked controversy and reminded the significantly with the opening of the new . Overall university of its susceptibility to scru performing arts center. "It's just the most tiny in the national debate on homo beautiful thing we've ever done. It's going .Enrollment sexuality. to change the way people see us and the While some are not happy with the way wesee ourselves. It will balance us amount of progress that has been made out. We know that sports and athletics Join us at our on the homosexuality front, Monk says are a part of our university. This allows 10,000 he is satisfied with the administration's· us to have a visibility and an opportunity course of action. "I think we've tried to to cultivate the arts in a way that we've strike a set of policies and activities that never been able to before," he says. .tol1...... 000·.. . .. • are consistent with our Catholic value Regardless of the changes that happen , Open House on system and that are respectful and sup at the university itself, Malloy says that • portive," he says. "I'm comfortable with the students are its greatest resource. .. . where we are." "We're fortunate to have the quality of .. Number of:Female Looking back through the good and students that we do in terms of their po the bad of his time in office, Malloy says tential. The challenge is figuring out how ·Varsit)'Sport~ Tuesday Sept. ·14 it's the people he will miss the most when to bring out the best in them," he says. he abdicates in June. "I've seen people's And it's the students, Malloy says, that lives transformed, people rising to the 'I he's enjoyed the most during his almost i challenge, and friendships formed. I've 18 years at Notre Dame. 0 6 to' 13 i i worked with a lot of great people in the ! 7 - 9pm administration. I've been able to meet a

10 SCHOlASTlCCOVER STORY 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 cause of his increased involvement in the lot of people, both in this country and Malloy university's athletics, Malloy "developed abroad, that I never would have known into one of the most influential people otherwise." When he thinks about signifi . by the numbers in college athletics," Heisler says. And cant moments of his years at Notre Dame, Malloy's involvement in college athletics he remembers "weddings and baptisms doesn't appear to be diminishing. He is and funerals, moments at which the fam currently the chair of a NCAA task force ily comes together." Faculty addressing gambling by student athletes His foremost memory of Notre Dame, at the university level. however, was the Mass on Sept. 11, 2001, Malloy also has had to address a multi that he celebrated on South Quad. While 1,053 tude of student-related issues during his 7,000 students, faculty and staff sat in the term as president, including the pres glaring sunshine, Malloy addressed a uni- ently contro- versity in the midst versial issue of of national turmoil. . tol ,500 the treatment of He says he especially homosexuality "[Malloy] developed was affected by "the on campus. sense of mutual He ascended to . into one of the most support and faith the presidency in that loomed large" Endowment the 1980s, during influential people in that day. which such issues college athletics." Malloy says that, as homosexuality, after he leaves his $350'· the Sexual Revo -John Heisler, . post in June, hewill lution and the take a sabbatical associate athletic direaor for . AIDS epidemic for a year and then dominated the Media Relations, Broadcast and return to campus .million national spot Contest Scheduling . to teach and write light. Despite books. He recently to the prevalence published a book en of such issues in titled Monk's Travels American society, administrators refused and has plans to write several more. .$3 billion .. to officially recognize OutreachND, a While he says that the university always group of gay, lesbian and bisexual stu will be growing and developing as an in dents. This official university decision stitution, he believes that it will-change sparked controversy and reminded the significantly with the opening of the new . Overall university of its susceptibility to scru performing arts center. "It's just the most tiny in the national debate on homo beautiful thing we've ever done. It's going .Enrollment sexuality. to change the way people see us and the While some are not happy with the way wesee ourselves. It will balance us amount of progress that has been made out. We know that sports and athletics Join us at our on the homosexuality front, Monk says are a part of our university. This allows 10,000 he is satisfied with the administration's· us to have a visibility and an opportunity course of action. "I think we've tried to to cultivate the arts in a way that we've strike a set of policies and activities that never been able to before," he says. .tol1...... 000·.. . .. • are consistent with our Catholic value Regardless of the changes that happen , Open House on system and that are respectful and sup at the university itself, Malloy says that • portive," he says. "I'm comfortable with the students are its greatest resource. .. . where we are." "We're fortunate to have the quality of .. Number of:Female Looking back through the good and students that we do in terms of their po the bad of his time in office, Malloy says tential. The challenge is figuring out how ·Varsit)'Sport~ Tuesday Sept. ·14 it's the people he will miss the most when to bring out the best in them," he says. he abdicates in June. "I've seen people's And it's the students, Malloy says, that lives transformed, people rising to the 'I he's enjoyed the most during his almost i challenge, and friendships formed. I've 18 years at Notre Dame. 0 6 to' 13 i i worked with a lot of great people in the ! 7 - 9pm administration. I've been able to meet a

10 SCHOlASTlCCOVER STORY 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 NlEVVS'·«jl------ Muslim community," Burrell says. "He's international studies programs are not a strong guiding voice for Muslims living presenting a picture of foreign affairs in a pluralistic society." that is overly critical of U.S. policy in Like Appleby, Burrell is concerned the Middle East while receiving federal about the implications for academic free- funds. Opponents argue that the move dom, brought into focus by the revocation amounts to censorship. A Spark in the of Ramadan's visa. Some academics, including Walshe, "We are faced with the powers of dark- fear that the decision to revoke Rama ness here. Daniel Pipes is a--modern-day dan's visa is anotherstepina governmen McCarthy," he says. tal trend of restricting Muslim voices Powder Keg? There has been some speculation that critical of the United States. Pipes and other pro-Israel advocates "The bill is a very serious attack on pressured the U.S. government to revoke academic freedom," Walshe says. "An The revocation of Tariq Ramadan's visa fuels Ramadan's visa because some of the Mus- open debate on international relati()ns, a number of academic controversies lim scholar's statements have been inter-; 'is essential- to the security of this coun preted as anti-Semitic and overly critical try. This law severely limits the United of U.S. policy in the Middle East. States' capacity to have this debate." "There is a strong tendency for sup...; Burrelhlsb is concerned that the bill MIKEBORGIA porters of [Israeli Prime Minister Ariel] and the Ramadan decision are signs of director of the Joan P. Kroc Institute But there are several pieces of Rama Sharon to equate any criticism of that a trend. " ... Daniel Pipes, godfather of class without its scheduled profes for International Peace Studies told The dan's past that have raised some com government with anti -Semitism," says Pe- the bill, virtually admits that he agitated A sor; a load of furniture stuck in New York Times in the Aug. 26 article. "A mentators' eyebrows. For some, his past ter Walshe, to cancel secondary, more subtle level of concern is is suspicious enough to merit the revoking South Bend; a vacant professor professor I ·11 II [R d] Tariq's ship. In the ongoing controversy sur about how ready we are as a society to hear of his visa. of political WI ca ama an to account visa," a discourse that is authentically Muslim, One such commentator is historian rounding Tariq Ramadan, a prominent science. for those things if he becomes Burrell Muslim scholar, these are just scratches not an extremist discourse but one that is Daniel Pipes, founder of Campus Watch "They are say s on the surface. critical of US. policy." - a Web site that exposes the alleged bi not the a part of this community. w hen Jewish-Muslim dialogue. In August, just before Ramadan was Ramadan, recently named one of the ases of Middle-Eastern studies programs sam e, but Rabbi Michael Signer, professor of] ewish Thought and Culture in the Department of Theology ask e d if Signer takes issue with Ramadan's scheduled to leave his residence in world's 100 most influential people by at colleges and universities - and the di- you see that Ram a- controversial statement that some French Switzerland for Notre Dame, rector of the Middle East Forum; tactic used again and again, and there was dan's visa situation and the International intellectuals favor Israel simply because an American diplomat informed described by The New York Times some of this in the Ramadan case." Studies in Education Act are related. they are Jewish. "Professor Ramadan has him that his previously approved We are faced with the powers as a "pro-Israel advocacy group." Fueling fears of government censorship' Some professors, however,' donofsee written about French-Jewish intellectuals U.S. work visa had been revoked. In a piece submitted to the New of academia is the International Studies the Ramadan issue as one of censorship. and has said things that are offensive to University officials said the dip of darkness here. Daniel Pipes York Sun, Pipes lays out a .Iistof in Education Act, an education bill that Rabbi Michael Signer, professor ofJewish me," he says. "I will call him to account lomat offered no explanation for is a modern-day Mc~arthy. reasons why Ramadan should be "increase(s) government monitoring of Thought and Culture in the Department for those things ifhe becomes part of this the decision. under state-department investiga community." The Rev. David Burrell, C.S.C., theology professor and fellow of the Kroc Institute federally funded programs in internation - of Theology, says that while Ramadan's What followed was a nationwide tion. Among these are Ramadan's al studies at colleges and universities," as past is a matter of speculation, his poten Signer also rejects the notion that debate reaching far beyond one alleged praise for "brutal Islamist Ramadan's visa was revoked because of Time magazI'ne, was hI'red by the. unI' stated in the Sept. 3 issue of the National tial connections merit a closer look. He scholar's travails into some of academia's policies" and personal connections with pressure from Jewish advocates. "We versity as a professor of Islamic Studies Catholic Reporter. The most controversial also says he is confident that Ramadan hottest controversies: national security, terrorists. don't know that Daniel Pipes, or any in the Department of Classics and the provision of the bill calls for the estab- will be allowed to teach at Notre Dame academic freedom and the dynamic of Pipes and others are worried about other Jewish organization, had a direct Luce Professor of Religion, Conflict and lishment of an advisory hoard, which will if he is truly innocent. political and inter-faith dialogue. what ties Ramadan might have inherited include national security representatives Signer does not support the federal bill influence revoking Tariq Ramadan's Ramadan's visa was revoked under a le-' Peacebuilding at the Kroc Institute. This from his grandfather, Hasan al-Banna. visa," he says. "We do know that Colin semester he was scheduled this semester and would have the authority to and says he does not believe it is gal provision banning anyone the United Al-Banna founded the Muslim Brother Powell, Tom Ridge and Condoleezza Rice to teach a College Seminar (formerly monitor international stud- connected to the Ramadan States"kn ows, or has reasonable ground hood in 1928 to violently depose Egypt's are not Jewish." Core) course entitled "Islamic Ethics," ies programs to ensure . situation. "The academy to believe, is engaged in or is likely to h secular government, though the group "Why does Middle-Eastern politics w ich is currently being taught instead they represent "diverse doesn't need a federal J:' says it no longer supports violence. Ra always have to be about the Israeli-Pal engage after entry in a terrorist activity," by Abd u I 0 . mar, aSSlS. t an t prolesslOnaI perspectives." law to establish its cred- Kelly Shannon, a spokeswoman for the estinian problem?" Signer asks. specialist at the Kroc Institute. madan subsequently submitted his own The bill was passed by ibility - but it could do U.S. State Department told The New York op-ed piece to The New York Times refut a wide majority in the a better job of policing As Ramadan is able to reapply for a visa Times in an Aug. 26 article. Both the university and Appleby have ing Pipes' charges. - and the university has encouraged him released statements supporting Ramadan House of Representa- itself," he says. Signer Government officials, however, did not to do so - it seems that the situation is far and his place at Notre Dame. But others, including many Notre tives last October and was concerned about provide details particular to Ramadan's Dame professors, reject any notion that from over. With the International Stud "Like many others, he anguishes over soon will go before Ramadan joining the case, meaning that, at least for now, the Ramadan participates in, or supports, ies in Education Act set to go before the the desperation and the conditions that the Senate Committee faculty when Alan specific reasons the government has to terrorism. Senate committee and Christian-Jew drove [terrorists] to take such a horrible of Health, Education, Dowty - political sci- suspect him of posing a national security "Those accusations are totally un ish-Muslim relations an ongoing debate h action," Appleby says, "and he' grieves Labor and Pensions., ence professor, Kroc In- treat are a subject of speculation. both for their families and their victims. founded," the Rev. David Burrell, C.S.c., According to the National stitute fellow and promi- on campuses nationwide, the larger con "I worry about the implications for h theology professor, fellow of the Kroc In troversy looks to have even more staying d ' !. isi~ what he~as said repeatedly in his Catholic Reporter, supporters nent Jewish scholar - is aca emic freedom and, more generally' public statements, andthat.is what we .' stitute and strong supporter of Ramadan's of the bill-including Pipes planning to retire, thereby power. 0 ,for freedom of speech and the openness expect of him." hiring says. "He was going to be a real - argue that this measure creating an imbalance in of American society," Scott Appleby, presence to us and to the American- is necessary to ensure the campus' Christian-

12 SCHOlASTlCNEWS 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICNEWS 13 NlEVVS'·«jl------ Muslim community," Burrell says. "He's international studies programs are not a strong guiding voice for Muslims living presenting a picture of foreign affairs in a pluralistic society." that is overly critical of U.S. policy in Like Appleby, Burrell is concerned the Middle East while receiving federal about the implications for academic free- funds. Opponents argue that the move dom, brought into focus by the revocation amounts to censorship. A Spark in the of Ramadan's visa. Some academics, including Walshe, "We are faced with the powers of dark- fear that the decision to revoke Rama ness here. Daniel Pipes is a--modern-day dan's visa is anotherstepina governmen McCarthy," he says. tal trend of restricting Muslim voices Powder Keg? There has been some speculation that critical of the United States. Pipes and other pro-Israel advocates "The bill is a very serious attack on pressured the U.S. government to revoke academic freedom," Walshe says. "An The revocation of Tariq Ramadan's visa fuels Ramadan's visa because some of the Mus- open debate on international relati()ns, a number of academic controversies lim scholar's statements have been inter-; 'is essential- to the security of this coun preted as anti-Semitic and overly critical try. This law severely limits the United of U.S. policy in the Middle East. States' capacity to have this debate." "There is a strong tendency for sup...; Burrelhlsb is concerned that the bill MIKEBORGIA porters of [Israeli Prime Minister Ariel] and the Ramadan decision are signs of director of the Joan P. Kroc Institute But there are several pieces of Rama Sharon to equate any criticism of that a trend. " ... Daniel Pipes, godfather of class without its scheduled profes for International Peace Studies told The dan's past that have raised some com government with anti -Semitism," says Pe- the bill, virtually admits that he agitated A sor; a load of furniture stuck in New York Times in the Aug. 26 article. "A mentators' eyebrows. For some, his past ter Walshe, to cancel secondary, more subtle level of concern is is suspicious enough to merit the revoking South Bend; a vacant professor professor I ·11 II [R d] Tariq's ship. In the ongoing controversy sur about how ready we are as a society to hear of his visa. of political WI ca ama an to account visa," a discourse that is authentically Muslim, One such commentator is historian rounding Tariq Ramadan, a prominent science. for those things if he becomes Burrell Muslim scholar, these are just scratches not an extremist discourse but one that is Daniel Pipes, founder of Campus Watch "They are say s on the surface. critical of US. policy." - a Web site that exposes the alleged bi not the a part of this community. w hen Jewish-Muslim dialogue. In August, just before Ramadan was Ramadan, recently named one of the ases of Middle-Eastern studies programs sam e, but Rabbi Michael Signer, professor of] ewish Thought and Culture in the Department of Theology ask e d if Signer takes issue with Ramadan's scheduled to leave his residence in world's 100 most influential people by at colleges and universities - and the di- you see that Ram a- controversial statement that some French Switzerland for Notre Dame, rector of the Middle East Forum; tactic used again and again, and there was dan's visa situation and the International intellectuals favor Israel simply because an American diplomat informed described by The New York Times some of this in the Ramadan case." Studies in Education Act are related. they are Jewish. "Professor Ramadan has him that his previously approved We are faced with the powers as a "pro-Israel advocacy group." Fueling fears of government censorship' Some professors, however,' donofsee written about French-Jewish intellectuals U.S. work visa had been revoked. In a piece submitted to the New of academia is the International Studies the Ramadan issue as one of censorship. and has said things that are offensive to University officials said the dip of darkness here. Daniel Pipes York Sun, Pipes lays out a .Iistof in Education Act, an education bill that Rabbi Michael Signer, professor ofJewish me," he says. "I will call him to account lomat offered no explanation for is a modern-day Mc~arthy. reasons why Ramadan should be "increase(s) government monitoring of Thought and Culture in the Department for those things ifhe becomes part of this the decision. under state-department investiga community." The Rev. David Burrell, C.S.C., theology professor and fellow of the Kroc Institute federally funded programs in internation - of Theology, says that while Ramadan's What followed was a nationwide tion. Among these are Ramadan's al studies at colleges and universities," as past is a matter of speculation, his poten Signer also rejects the notion that debate reaching far beyond one alleged praise for "brutal Islamist Ramadan's visa was revoked because of Time magazI'ne, was hI'red by the. unI' stated in the Sept. 3 issue of the National tial connections merit a closer look. He scholar's travails into some of academia's policies" and personal connections with pressure from Jewish advocates. "We versity as a professor of Islamic Studies Catholic Reporter. The most controversial also says he is confident that Ramadan hottest controversies: national security, terrorists. don't know that Daniel Pipes, or any in the Department of Classics and the provision of the bill calls for the estab- will be allowed to teach at Notre Dame academic freedom and the dynamic of Pipes and others are worried about other Jewish organization, had a direct Luce Professor of Religion, Conflict and lishment of an advisory hoard, which will if he is truly innocent. political and inter-faith dialogue. what ties Ramadan might have inherited include national security representatives Signer does not support the federal bill influence revoking Tariq Ramadan's Ramadan's visa was revoked under a le-' Peacebuilding at the Kroc Institute. This from his grandfather, Hasan al-Banna. visa," he says. "We do know that Colin semester he was scheduled this semester and would have the authority to and says he does not believe it is gal provision banning anyone the United Al-Banna founded the Muslim Brother Powell, Tom Ridge and Condoleezza Rice to teach a College Seminar (formerly monitor international stud- connected to the Ramadan States"kn ows, or has reasonable ground hood in 1928 to violently depose Egypt's are not Jewish." Core) course entitled "Islamic Ethics," ies programs to ensure . situation. "The academy to believe, is engaged in or is likely to h secular government, though the group "Why does Middle-Eastern politics w ich is currently being taught instead they represent "diverse doesn't need a federal J:' says it no longer supports violence. Ra always have to be about the Israeli-Pal engage after entry in a terrorist activity," by Abd u I 0 . mar, aSSlS. t an t prolesslOnaI perspectives." law to establish its cred- Kelly Shannon, a spokeswoman for the estinian problem?" Signer asks. specialist at the Kroc Institute. madan subsequently submitted his own The bill was passed by ibility - but it could do U.S. State Department told The New York op-ed piece to The New York Times refut a wide majority in the a better job of policing As Ramadan is able to reapply for a visa Times in an Aug. 26 article. Both the university and Appleby have ing Pipes' charges. - and the university has encouraged him released statements supporting Ramadan House of Representa- itself," he says. Signer Government officials, however, did not to do so - it seems that the situation is far and his place at Notre Dame. But others, including many Notre tives last October and was concerned about provide details particular to Ramadan's Dame professors, reject any notion that from over. With the International Stud "Like many others, he anguishes over soon will go before Ramadan joining the case, meaning that, at least for now, the Ramadan participates in, or supports, ies in Education Act set to go before the the desperation and the conditions that the Senate Committee faculty when Alan specific reasons the government has to terrorism. Senate committee and Christian-Jew drove [terrorists] to take such a horrible of Health, Education, Dowty - political sci- suspect him of posing a national security "Those accusations are totally un ish-Muslim relations an ongoing debate h action," Appleby says, "and he' grieves Labor and Pensions., ence professor, Kroc In- treat are a subject of speculation. both for their families and their victims. founded," the Rev. David Burrell, C.S.c., According to the National stitute fellow and promi- on campuses nationwide, the larger con "I worry about the implications for h theology professor, fellow of the Kroc In troversy looks to have even more staying d ' !. isi~ what he~as said repeatedly in his Catholic Reporter, supporters nent Jewish scholar - is aca emic freedom and, more generally' public statements, andthat.is what we .' stitute and strong supporter of Ramadan's of the bill-including Pipes planning to retire, thereby power. 0 ,for freedom of speech and the openness expect of him." hiring says. "He was going to be a real - argue that this measure creating an imbalance in of American society," Scott Appleby, presence to us and to the American- is necessary to ensure the campus' Christian-

12 SCHOlASTlCNEWS 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICNEWS 13 e's back, baby, and ready to serve The only positive his superiors can take of water is beyond the Gipp, but appar Hup another year's worth of juice. from this incident is the soldier's proven ently, unlike their female friends, these After all, a school year never of ability to get his privates to stand at full guys didn't need to see more than four ficially starts until the Gipper releases attention. inches to get wet. his first bodily fluids story: our wannabe And ifyou wouldn't mind a little Gipper Moving on: One particular student, frat boys jump on two-year-old fashion commentary ... Girls, what's your deal, who we'll name Gullible Gus, wanted trains; and the majority of freshmen ob here? Apparently, there is some type to keep his garments dry, so he decided tain instant messaging names with clever of "off with your uniform, on with my to do some stripping of his own. Don combinations of our school's initials, birthday suit" arrangement. The Gipp ning nothing but his skivvies, Gus be team name, administrative headquarters can't think of two professions with more came the boy-toy of these older women. and their graduation year. Speaking of tradition and honor than the priesthood We're told that he "would do anything which, the Gipp was shocked to learn and the military, so it appears these gals that the girls wanted him to, including that, at press time, "NDlrishDomer08" are starting at the top of the totem pole repeatedly diving into this shallow pool was still on the market. Grab it while it's and working their way down. And we all and later breakdancing on a beer-covered hot, kids. know how good they are at that. floor, still without wearing anything but Now, let's get this party started. his boxers." Then, the gals discovered Scandalous Attire that their live entertainment had "acci Dishonorable Discharge They say first impressions last forever. dentally" forgotten a male thong in the Recently it has come to the Gipper's If so, it could be a long four years for the bathroom. It's probably a good rule of attention that the ladies of the lake are at chap in our next tale. Better sign up tor thumb never to wear articles of clothing it again. But this time, the counterpart is summer school, buddy. . left behind by anyone, much less those a man of the blade instead of a man of the We start with sa traditional freshman articles which actually touched someone's cloth. (Young ones: Ask around about the disorientation in a male dorm. Our tip behind. But the merciless harem pressed PriestGate scandal we had a few ster reveal that after receiving new on, and begged Gus to try it on. At first, years ago.) Reportedly, an nicknames, the frosh were steered he would only let it dangle down his neck adult ROTC officer found toward an off-campus house. line. But then, someone whipped out the a young SMCer to be a (Nicknames, eh? Gipp could use checkbook. Two dollars (yes, $2) were OfficelVIax® very dependable stor one of those. Operating under a pooled together and a final offer was given age place. By that, the pseudonym would make this job to Gus. Seeing the joys of a free cab ride \Jhf,\t$ ~ouY-. tn\r'\~1SM Gipper means that this much easier.) They eventually home, he took their offer. The Gipp's still Don't waste time running from store to store ... OfficeMax has the tools you need to help you do your thing: warrior found pleasure ended up in a domicile with a waiting for the pictures. 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People '-$10-~;f- '$25~;;- dio not al- of baby wolves "to like you keep the Gipper in business. ready have a dive into a couple of kiddie Any Supply Purchase Any Furniture Purchase matron and heirs pools that were set up on the Solid start, folks. Just remember: When waiting for him lawn," says our source. How you it comes to your stripper's G-string and of $30 or More! of $100 or More! ; the Gipper's inbox, keep the tips flow Valid In our Mishawaka/South Bend store only. Valid in our Mishawaka/South Bend store only. ;:!: back at his estate. can actually dive into four inches Excludes computers, gift cards, MaxAssurance Excludes MaxAssurance, clearance items and % ing. 0 and assembly. Limit one coupon per customer. assembly. Limit one coupon per customer. a: No photocopies accepted. Not valid with any No photocopies accepted. Not valid with any . .5 other offer. Valid thru 9/25/04. other offer. Valid thru 9/25/04. I >< Friends in high places The GJpper solicits tips from the most elite of sources.While most Gipper sources remain anonymous. this journalist, devoid of integrity. doesn't mind revealing that phones in the office of a certain monastic administrator have rung the Gipp's lines on more than one occassion.Tip the Gipp at [email protected]. ______III~WWJtlmll~~!ij!1I11 ... __ .. ___"III"" !6U4!;1~,!O,!!4 1111111111111111111111 ____ ..: i@ 14 NOVEMBER 2002 SCHOLASTICCAMPUSWATCH 15 e's back, baby, and ready to serve The only positive his superiors can take of water is beyond the Gipp, but appar Hup another year's worth of juice. from this incident is the soldier's proven ently, unlike their female friends, these After all, a school year never of ability to get his privates to stand at full guys didn't need to see more than four ficially starts until the Gipper releases attention. inches to get wet. his first bodily fluids story: our wannabe And ifyou wouldn't mind a little Gipper Moving on: One particular student, frat boys jump on two-year-old fashion commentary ... Girls, what's your deal, who we'll name Gullible Gus, wanted trains; and the majority of freshmen ob here? Apparently, there is some type to keep his garments dry, so he decided tain instant messaging names with clever of "off with your uniform, on with my to do some stripping of his own. Don combinations of our school's initials, birthday suit" arrangement. The Gipp ning nothing but his skivvies, Gus be team name, administrative headquarters can't think of two professions with more came the boy-toy of these older women. and their graduation year. Speaking of tradition and honor than the priesthood We're told that he "would do anything which, the Gipp was shocked to learn and the military, so it appears these gals that the girls wanted him to, including that, at press time, "NDlrishDomer08" are starting at the top of the totem pole repeatedly diving into this shallow pool was still on the market. Grab it while it's and working their way down. And we all and later breakdancing on a beer-covered hot, kids. know how good they are at that. floor, still without wearing anything but Now, let's get this party started. his boxers." Then, the gals discovered Scandalous Attire that their live entertainment had "acci Dishonorable Discharge They say first impressions last forever. dentally" forgotten a male thong in the Recently it has come to the Gipper's If so, it could be a long four years for the bathroom. It's probably a good rule of attention that the ladies of the lake are at chap in our next tale. Better sign up tor thumb never to wear articles of clothing it again. But this time, the counterpart is summer school, buddy. . left behind by anyone, much less those a man of the blade instead of a man of the We start with sa traditional freshman articles which actually touched someone's cloth. (Young ones: Ask around about the disorientation in a male dorm. Our tip behind. But the merciless harem pressed PriestGate scandal we had a few ster reveal that after receiving new on, and begged Gus to try it on. At first, years ago.) Reportedly, an nicknames, the frosh were steered he would only let it dangle down his neck adult ROTC officer found toward an off-campus house. line. But then, someone whipped out the a young SMCer to be a (Nicknames, eh? Gipp could use checkbook. Two dollars (yes, $2) were OfficelVIax® very dependable stor one of those. Operating under a pooled together and a final offer was given age place. By that, the pseudonym would make this job to Gus. Seeing the joys of a free cab ride \Jhf,\t$ ~ouY-. tn\r'\~1SM Gipper means that this much easier.) They eventually home, he took their offer. The Gipp's still Don't waste time running from store to store ... OfficeMax has the tools you need to help you do your thing: warrior found pleasure ended up in a domicile with a waiting for the pictures. We're told that after re-robing, Gus ;i in inserting his sword in few wound-up ladies, whose fan • Notebooks, pens, paper, binders . • Computers, printers, copiers • PDAs, calculators, phones found that Jhe thong made for good • Software and computer accessofles • Desks, chairs, bookcases her sheath, removing it, cies had just been tickled by the inserting it again and, well, fertile feather of a male stripper. headwear. He also draped his noggin All at Guaranteed Low Prices! Plus FREE delivery on most orders of $50 or more. you get the point. (Ladies, After running out of skin to with a female's shirt, which he reportedly And do.n't .forget: ou: i.n-store CopyMax center can handle all your printing and copying needs including color copies lamination let's not think too bare, the performer was mistook for a bra. In his drunken stupor, book binding, and digital photo prints. Check out the special CopyMax offer bel,ow ... valid for the entire school year! ' , deeply about dismissed and the he had somehow managed to convince ladies moved on to a himself that he had received the "bra" . Save now by bringing the enclosed coupons to this OfficeMax store: that analogy; more exciting pur as a token for his conquest of someone's Mishawaka/South Bend: Wilshire Plaza. Grape & Douglas Rds., next to Media Play (574) 273-0328 it could get painful.) suit: taking advan tracts ofland. He was so convinced that Bring in the coupon below to CopyMax and we'll laminate it for FREE' he spent much of the night taking whiffs Then keep it with you to use as often as you want. . T his tage of young, help wouldn't less, drunken males. of it and bragging that it "smelled like a be a big Their sweet talk girl." deal, if he convinced our pack Welcome to college, jackass. People '-$10-~;f- '$25~;;- dio not al- of baby wolves "to like you keep the Gipper in business. ready have a dive into a couple of kiddie Any Supply Purchase Any Furniture Purchase matron and heirs pools that were set up on the Solid start, folks. Just remember: When waiting for him lawn," says our source. How you it comes to your stripper's G-string and of $30 or More! of $100 or More! ; the Gipper's inbox, keep the tips flow Valid In our Mishawaka/South Bend store only. Valid in our Mishawaka/South Bend store only. ;:!: back at his estate. can actually dive into four inches Excludes computers, gift cards, MaxAssurance Excludes MaxAssurance, clearance items and % ing. 0 and assembly. Limit one coupon per customer. assembly. Limit one coupon per customer. a: No photocopies accepted. Not valid with any No photocopies accepted. Not valid with any . .5 other offer. Valid thru 9/25/04. other offer. Valid thru 9/25/04. I >< Friends in high places The GJpper solicits tips from the most elite of sources.While most Gipper sources remain anonymous. this journalist, devoid of integrity. doesn't mind revealing that phones in the office of a certain monastic administrator have rung the Gipp's lines on more than one occassion.Tip the Gipp at [email protected]. ______III~WWJtlmll~~!ij!1I11 ... __ .. ___"III"" !6U4!;1~,!O,!!4 1111111111111111111111 ____ ..: i@ 14 NOVEMBER 2002 SCHOLASTICCAMPUSWATCH 15 ! ~ .. i'

The Economics of Tomato Picking RICH MCIVER

fter years ofinsisting that Taco Bell the u.s. This makes the overall cost of of business. The failure of thesebusi A is more about social injustice than growing tomatoes abroad higher than if nesses would allow foreign agricultural chalupas, a Notre Dame student the work was done in the United States. producers to flourish because they would DomeLights activist group, the Progressive Student Consequently, tomato picking stays here .. be able to take advantage of the cheaper Alliance, has recently brought someJwrd. -:-, As a result of all this, the small in labor costs and livingsta,Aq;ards in their COMPILED BY ERIK POWERS earned attention to its cause by success".-- creases in wages that ac;tlvjsts regard as countries, enabling them. to hire signifi At Least All That Tuition is Being Put to Good Use ~lly pressuring Notre Dame to drop· its .. major victories end up meanin.g that either cantly more laborers in nations that are, Source:The Landscape Services Department and Web site contract with Taco Bell. " plagyed by unemployme~t. Walking around campus on a warm evening this time of year, even the most -Large wrap (preferably from the stir--fry The PSA hopes that its local The key for such .a shift to work line due to its larger size) :5 hardened criminal or soldier of fortune would have to admit that Notre Dame is efforts will force Taco Bell's pro iil .. is to make it a gradual process .. If -Two chicken breasts' I;{ a beautiful sight. Despite what our Catholic status may lead you to believe, duce suppliers nationwide to pay ~ we immediately removed agricul- -Lettuce from the God did not originally sculpt this little parcel of northern Indiana higher wages to its tomato pickers. ~ tural subsidies then there would be salad bar in the well-manicured form you enjoy today. For that, He created While there is little doubt that a backlash of unemployment which -Tomatoes the Landscape Services De- partment, and in honor of the truly -Caesar Dressing the PSA has the best interests of would not be absorbed adequately by outstanding job these people do, here are some facts you may not - O'p t.i 0 n a I : the migrant worker in mind, its new industries. A more methodical know concerning their pride and joy: Notre Dame. Parmesan cheese proposals for reform often appear decline in subsidies would allow rather indirect and anti-free market. time for these individuals to learn Cut up the chicken This leaves many people, including new trades and skills. '.' , ,'. .' . 030 Number of workers employed by Landscape Services 01,250 Number of acres comprising the campus of the University of Notre Dame breasts. 'Be sure not toctit myself, unconvinced that the PSA's Student activists, such as PSA 016 Miles of sidewalk kept clear by the Landscape Services Department through the wrap, or you will have to start goals are feasible or even desirable members, may not like this solution 070,000 Sprinkler heads throughout campus over with the wrap-construction. Make sure on a global scale. because it means that those indi 0500,000 Capacity, in gallons, of the Notre Dame water tower not to over-stuff the wrap or you will end The ultimate aim of the activists viduals who can least afford to go up with-more on your plate and pants than in your mouth . . is noble: to ensure a living wage unemployed must do so in order to for migrant farm workers. How resurface in an industry competitive Q&A ever, the reality is that the cost of enough to offer them a living wage. living in the U.S. - even at the As unpleasant as this solution is, we idea for me to be the Leprechaun. Every all come together as Notre Dame. It's inhumane income level at which must fight the temptation to look for year in high school more and more of my amazing how pumped up everyone gets. many migrant workers are forced easy answers by labeling big farming Lerum friends would encourage me to be the to exist - is much higher than that and multi-national companies, like Leprechaun. Do you know how to do tumbling and of developing or third world coun- flips? U.S. farming will become less profitable Taco Bell, as the "bad guy," thereby tries. This means that the PSA's goal of a I played three sports in high school and and companies will hire fewer migrant indirectly supporting ever-higher agricul What will you do to get pumped up before "living wage" will result in higher wages games and pep rallies? I'm starting gymnastics classes at Michi workers, thus decreasing long-:term de tural subsidies. We must lookinstead for being paid to migrant workers here in the - It's football season The band is so helpful in getting people ana Gymnastics. I'm learning how to do mand. Or, that subsidies will increase, market solutions that are sustainable in U.S. than the wages that would have to be pumped up. Every time I hear the band some tumbling moves. hurting the tax-paying consumer and the long term. once again; time to paid to achieve the same standard ofliving ... bam, I'm ready to go. The cheerleaders further smothering developing nations' In a market-based economy such as ours, wake Ztp the echoes in a less developed country. will also be a great support ... overall, I economies. Neither of these solutions we must avoid the temptation to take short and feel the thunder What do you like most about being the Ifwe stick to the notion that a tomato is love Notre Dame. Leprechaun? will help the welfare of poor workers in cuts by supporting inefficient markets. We ofthe Irish spirit. I've always been pumped about Notre a tomato no matter where it is picked, the the long-term. must endure the painful but necessary But how would the obvious question is, why don't agricultural pame and now I can show my spirit even Reform, however, need not be anti-free process of eliminating these industries in thousands ofIrish What is your favorite thing about Notre companies move operations to countries Dame football games? more. I can now use the student section market. In fact, some economists purport favor of more efficient ones. faithfuls rock the where they can utilize lower labor costs to The student section. The student unity and stadium to show my energy for Notre that the best way Of achieving such hu It may not be as simple a solution as de stadium without the grow cheaper produce? Dame. manitarian goals may be to extend, not monizing big farming and multinationals guidance oftheir and enthusiasm they give off in the There are a number of reasons for this, inhibit, the reach of the international seems to offer. Unlike that alternative, a beloved mascot? Scholastic caught up with student section is amazing. There is so How do you intend to get more fans including the cost of moving operations market . free-market approach creates a more ef JunJ01' Eddie Lerum; Notre Dame's mighty much tradition that carries through and . abroad and the cost ofshipping produce to Under such an approach; the U.S. and ficient economy. In the end, that is the mascot, better known as the Leprechaun, fuels off of it. involved? the U.S. However, the greatest prohibiting other developed countries would gradu only way that we can hope for sustainable between practices and tumbling classes. I want to try and pick out fans and make factors in many cases are not these, but What is your favorite thing about Notre ally lower the agricultural subsidies and improvements in the living standards of all eye contact with them and use people I agricultural subsidies and import taxes. Dame pep rallies? import taxes that support labor-intensive individuals. D How long have you wanted to be the know. I want to meet more students and These two anti-free-market devices es I was amazed at the scene and the way farming. This gradualloweririg of trade Leprechaun? be as friendly and outgoing as possible. I sentially place a tax on every tomato im the dorms all sit together and every dorm barriers would put the most inefficient The views expressed in this column are those Since my freshman year of high school. want to share my enthusiasm with as many ported from abroad in an effort to support says, "Our dorm is awesome." But then, labot-intensive farming operations out ofthe author and do not necessarily represent, My good friends from high school and people as I can. the labor-intensive agricultural system in the views ofScholastic or its staff. grade school thought it would be a good when the speaker and band come out, we -Lauren Wikox 16 OPINION 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICCAMPUS LIFE 17 ! ~ .. i'

The Economics of Tomato Picking RICH MCIVER fter years ofinsisting that Taco Bell the u.s. This makes the overall cost of of business. The failure of thesebusi A is more about social injustice than growing tomatoes abroad higher than if nesses would allow foreign agricultural chalupas, a Notre Dame student the work was done in the United States. producers to flourish because they would DomeLights activist group, the Progressive Student Consequently, tomato picking stays here .. be able to take advantage of the cheaper Alliance, has recently brought someJwrd. -:-, As a result of all this, the small in labor costs and livingsta,Aq;ards in their COMPILED BY ERIK POWERS earned attention to its cause by success".-- creases in wages that ac;tlvjsts regard as countries, enabling them. to hire signifi At Least All That Tuition is Being Put to Good Use ~lly pressuring Notre Dame to drop· its .. major victories end up meanin.g that either cantly more laborers in nations that are, Source:The Landscape Services Department and Web site contract with Taco Bell. " plagyed by unemployme~t. Walking around campus on a warm evening this time of year, even the most -Large wrap (preferably from the stir--fry The PSA hopes that its local The key for such .a shift to work line due to its larger size) :5 hardened criminal or soldier of fortune would have to admit that Notre Dame is efforts will force Taco Bell's pro iil .. is to make it a gradual process .. If -Two chicken breasts' I;{ a beautiful sight. Despite what our Catholic status may lead you to believe, duce suppliers nationwide to pay ~ we immediately removed agricul- -Lettuce from the God did not originally sculpt this little parcel of northern Indiana higher wages to its tomato pickers. ~ tural subsidies then there would be salad bar in the well-manicured form you enjoy today. For that, He created While there is little doubt that a backlash of unemployment which -Tomatoes the Landscape Services De- partment, and in honor of the truly -Caesar Dressing the PSA has the best interests of would not be absorbed adequately by outstanding job these people do, here are some facts you may not - O'p t.i 0 n a I : the migrant worker in mind, its new industries. A more methodical know concerning their pride and joy: Notre Dame. Parmesan cheese proposals for reform often appear decline in subsidies would allow rather indirect and anti-free market. time for these individuals to learn Cut up the chicken This leaves many people, including new trades and skills. '.' , ,'. .' . 030 Number of workers employed by Landscape Services 01,250 Number of acres comprising the campus of the University of Notre Dame breasts. 'Be sure not toctit myself, unconvinced that the PSA's Student activists, such as PSA 016 Miles of sidewalk kept clear by the Landscape Services Department through the wrap, or you will have to start goals are feasible or even desirable members, may not like this solution 070,000 Sprinkler heads throughout campus over with the wrap-construction. Make sure on a global scale. because it means that those indi 0500,000 Capacity, in gallons, of the Notre Dame water tower not to over-stuff the wrap or you will end The ultimate aim of the activists viduals who can least afford to go up with-more on your plate and pants than in your mouth . . is noble: to ensure a living wage unemployed must do so in order to for migrant farm workers. How resurface in an industry competitive Q&A ever, the reality is that the cost of enough to offer them a living wage. living in the U.S. - even at the As unpleasant as this solution is, we idea for me to be the Leprechaun. Every all come together as Notre Dame. It's inhumane income level at which must fight the temptation to look for year in high school more and more of my amazing how pumped up everyone gets. many migrant workers are forced easy answers by labeling big farming Lerum friends would encourage me to be the to exist - is much higher than that and multi-national companies, like Leprechaun. Do you know how to do tumbling and of developing or third world coun- flips? U.S. farming will become less profitable Taco Bell, as the "bad guy," thereby tries. This means that the PSA's goal of a I played three sports in high school and and companies will hire fewer migrant indirectly supporting ever-higher agricul What will you do to get pumped up before "living wage" will result in higher wages games and pep rallies? I'm starting gymnastics classes at Michi workers, thus decreasing long-:term de tural subsidies. We must lookinstead for being paid to migrant workers here in the - It's football season The band is so helpful in getting people ana Gymnastics. I'm learning how to do mand. Or, that subsidies will increase, market solutions that are sustainable in U.S. than the wages that would have to be pumped up. Every time I hear the band some tumbling moves. hurting the tax-paying consumer and the long term. once again; time to paid to achieve the same standard ofliving ... bam, I'm ready to go. The cheerleaders further smothering developing nations' In a market-based economy such as ours, wake Ztp the echoes in a less developed country. will also be a great support ... overall, I economies. Neither of these solutions we must avoid the temptation to take short and feel the thunder What do you like most about being the Ifwe stick to the notion that a tomato is love Notre Dame. Leprechaun? will help the welfare of poor workers in cuts by supporting inefficient markets. We ofthe Irish spirit. I've always been pumped about Notre a tomato no matter where it is picked, the the long-term. must endure the painful but necessary But how would the obvious question is, why don't agricultural pame and now I can show my spirit even Reform, however, need not be anti-free process of eliminating these industries in thousands ofIrish What is your favorite thing about Notre companies move operations to countries Dame football games? more. I can now use the student section market. In fact, some economists purport favor of more efficient ones. faithfuls rock the where they can utilize lower labor costs to The student section. The student unity and stadium to show my energy for Notre that the best way Of achieving such hu It may not be as simple a solution as de stadium without the grow cheaper produce? Dame. manitarian goals may be to extend, not monizing big farming and multinationals guidance oftheir and enthusiasm they give off in the There are a number of reasons for this, inhibit, the reach of the international seems to offer. Unlike that alternative, a beloved mascot? Scholastic caught up with student section is amazing. There is so How do you intend to get more fans including the cost of moving operations market . free-market approach creates a more ef JunJ01' Eddie Lerum; Notre Dame's mighty much tradition that carries through and . abroad and the cost ofshipping produce to Under such an approach; the U.S. and ficient economy. In the end, that is the mascot, better known as the Leprechaun, fuels off of it. involved? the U.S. However, the greatest prohibiting other developed countries would gradu only way that we can hope for sustainable between practices and tumbling classes. I want to try and pick out fans and make factors in many cases are not these, but What is your favorite thing about Notre ally lower the agricultural subsidies and improvements in the living standards of all eye contact with them and use people I agricultural subsidies and import taxes. Dame pep rallies? import taxes that support labor-intensive individuals. D How long have you wanted to be the know. I want to meet more students and These two anti-free-market devices es I was amazed at the scene and the way farming. This gradualloweririg of trade Leprechaun? be as friendly and outgoing as possible. I sentially place a tax on every tomato im the dorms all sit together and every dorm barriers would put the most inefficient The views expressed in this column are those Since my freshman year of high school. want to share my enthusiasm with as many ported from abroad in an effort to support says, "Our dorm is awesome." But then, labot-intensive farming operations out ofthe author and do not necessarily represent, My good friends from high school and people as I can. the labor-intensive agricultural system in the views ofScholastic or its staff. grade school thought it would be a good when the speaker and band come out, we -Lauren Wikox 16 OPINION 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICCAMPUS LIFE 17 ~ - " • • r I :

I I:I Ii

is covered in tropical reeds and above the bar hangs a thatched roof with an inflatable parrot. Behind the bar hangs Truly Tropical a flatscreen television, or "$3,000 poster," that displays a psychedelic show during Sorin residents do tropical theme the "right" way parties. "This is the most relaxing room ever," ANNAO'CONNOR says Pearson. "1 never get anything done various tiki elements come together to when 1 am in here because 1 fall asleep." n the short time since school has create their tropical getaway. The atmosphere will provide a' wel I started, the guys of 303 Sorin Hall "A lot of people do the tropical theme, come respite from the bitter South have transformed their ordinary com but no one really does it right," says Pear Bend weather this winter. "Our hope mon room into an exotic island paradise. son. "We went all out with this, and we is that when there are five feet of snow From the full-service tiki bar to a sink think we did it right." on the ground, we will think of Tahiti," filled with seashells, this is a place that The circular room is lined all the way says Dewan. even Jimmy Buffett would be proud to around with grass skirt trim and multi Though it might be impossible to think call home. colored lights. A fishnet hangs in one cor of Tahiti when the temperature is in the Sophomores Mike Toomey and Mi ner, holding a beach ball. Exotic posters single digits and the wind chill below chael Dewan, junior Dan Pearson, and cover the wall and a surfboard hangs zero, this room can definitely raise one's honorary roommates, sophomores Steve overhead. Of a ladder leaning against spirits a little. So come December, when Sushinsky and Bill Reimer, came up with the wall, "We like to think of it as our you find yourself trudging through the the tiki theme last year when they decided lifeguard ladder," says Pearson. snow on God Quad, stop by 303 Sorin. to room together. Each person brought The biggest attraction in the room .The guys will have a tropical refreshment different pieces, and they built the bar! is the tiki bar. To give it an authentic waiting for you. 0 bookcase when they moved in. All the feel, one side of the wooden structure

18 SCHOlASTICCAMPUS LIFE 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 .SCHOLASTICCAMPUS LIFE 19 ~ - " • • r I :

I I:I Ii

18 SCHOlASTICCAMPUS LIFE 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 .SCHOLASTICCAMPUS LIFE 19

I . Juniper Rd. ------~------'-L~,." The new route is scheduled for comple- into the residence halls, but offer se Closed tion by the summer of 2006, approxi- niors more amenities than the more LAURENWILCOX mately the same time Jordan Hall should traditional residence hall rooms. That's be ready for use. Juniper will be closed the idea we hear the most about at this etour signs, beeping trucks and to traffic once the alternative route is point." cranes lifting beams into the air. D complete. Jeremy Lao, a senior on the committee After a short break, Notre Dame "For student life this change will make and former student body vice president, is once again under construction. campus way safer," says Cappy Gagnon, says the committee's main objective is Currently underway is the construc coordinator of stadium pe.rsonnel for to discuss how to increase the percent of tion of the new security and post office NDSP, who lives just south of campus. students that stay on campus. "I think building and the Jordan Hall of Science. "Whatever minor in- the apartment style The former is located next to Stepan convenience this will It's our desire to keep living is an option Center and the latter along Juniper be for people travel- that some seniors Road, in front of Rolfs Sports Recreation ing north to south upperclassmen on campus. will like," he says. "I Center. These additions look to be just after the rerouting JamcsLyphout, VP of Business Opcrations think in the future the first inklings of the changing face ofJuniper, they will be compensated for the campus will look more modern, but of campus .. by fewer traffic lights and delays on the still maintain its communal feeling." Early last June the St. Joseph County alternative route." The Future of Residential Life Com- Common Council approved the eventual The road construction is definite, but mittee is about two-thirds of the way public closure of Juniper Road, which will become part of the university cam the proposed new residence halls are less through its work and will issue an of- L:~l~L~I'~~i1t~~fI~?0~t~li certain and will depend on fund raising. ficial report at the end of the fall 2004 ~ pus, allowing Notre Dame to pursue its Lyphout says the university does not semester. Campus Master Plan. The plan proposes have a specific timetable for the new resi- "We have done a lot of homework with several new buildings, renovations and dence halls because their construction is surveys to get a sense for things that residence halls around campus. dependent upon a residence hall master students like. We ran a bunch of focus The long-term plan calls for some plan. "We have hired a consultant to help groups last year and we have learned_a where around three or four new residence us look at what kind of residence halls we lot about how student life has changed halls, one on West Quad and the others should build in the future," he says. over the years," says Kirk. in the area currently occupied by Juniper Notre Dame is currently examin- Notre Dame's residence hall system Road, says James Lyphout, vice president ing both the building of new residence is currently home to 80 percent of of Business Operations. halls and the renovation of existing halls. the undergraduate student body and Before the construction begins, how- The Rev. Mark Poorman, C.S.c., vice is exceeding capacity, meaning if the , ever, a new north-south route must be president of Student Affairs, created the university wants to keep more students built to compensate for Juniper's closing. Future of Residential Life Committee on campus, it will have to create more A proposed four-lane road connecting last year to explore possible alternatives dorm space. , Edison Road to Douglas Road will be to current on-campus housing. The "It's our desire to keep upperclassmen constructed in the Ivy Road area. Edison committee is made up of administrators, on campus. We feel their leadership will be straightened out to reach the back students and rectors and is co-chaired within our residence hall system is very end of the Logan Center so additional by Kirk and Associate Vice President of important and we want to create space campus space will be created around the Student Affairs Ann Firth. for them," says Lyphout. new Marie P. DeBartolo Center for the . "One thing we talk a lot about are se- There are other building improve- Performing Arts .. nior suites," says Firth, ments currently in the works that have The university also is concerned about "which would be been included in the Campus Master pedestrian safety, as more students and incorpo Plan. Once the new security and post faculty will have to cross Juniper to get ra ted office building is complete, the current to the new buildings. A new multidisciplinary engineering security building and post office will "I think the closing of Juniper is nec building is proposed to be built at the site be renovated so that next summer all . essary given the way the campus is ex of the University Club, a private restau Health Services operations may panding in that direction," 'says Bill Kirk, rant and club for university faculty and move temporarily into those associate vice president for the Office of staff, located next to McKenna Hall. buildings. A major one-year The Road to Additions Residence Life & Housing. "I think "There are a number of things in the renovation is planned The closing of Juniper Road will facilitate continued safety comes into play, and we have had student affair's plan such as a bigger and for the Health Services accidents on Juniper Road before." better student center, graduate housing campus construction, likely to include new residence halls building next year. Construction of the se'curity and post and a university village for married stu A 100,000 square-foot office building should be completed by dents," says Firth. "For right now the expansion of the law school December 2004 so Notre Dame Security/ residential halls are the most pressing will double the size of the ex Police can move in after Christmas. Road thing given where we are in residential isting building. The addition will work for the realignment of Edison and life and the importance we place on be built on the site of the current post the alternative route for Juniper on Ivy it." D office but construction will not start un is planned to begin in the spring of2005. til fundraising is complete.

22 SCHOLASTICCAMPUS LIFE 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICCAMPUS LIFE 23

-'------.,----- ~~~ ( I . Juniper Rd. ------~------'-L~,." The new route is scheduled for comple- into the residence halls, but offer se Closed tion by the summer of 2006, approxi- niors more amenities than the more LAURENWILCOX mately the same time Jordan Hall should traditional residence hall rooms. That's be ready for use. Juniper will be closed the idea we hear the most about at this etour signs, beeping trucks and to traffic once the alternative route is point." cranes lifting beams into the air. D complete. Jeremy Lao, a senior on the committee After a short break, Notre Dame "For student life this change will make and former student body vice president, is once again under construction. campus way safer," says Cappy Gagnon, says the committee's main objective is Currently underway is the construc coordinator of stadium pe.rsonnel for to discuss how to increase the percent of tion of the new security and post office NDSP, who lives just south of campus. students that stay on campus. "I think building and the Jordan Hall of Science. "Whatever minor in- the apartment style The former is located next to Stepan convenience this will It's our desire to keep living is an option Center and the latter along Juniper be for people travel- that some seniors Road, in front of Rolfs Sports Recreation ing north to south upperclassmen on campus. will like," he says. "I Center. These additions look to be just after the rerouting JamcsLyphout, VP of Business Opcrations think in the future the first inklings of the changing face ofJuniper, they will be compensated for the campus will look more modern, but of campus .. by fewer traffic lights and delays on the still maintain its communal feeling." Early last June the St. Joseph County alternative route." The Future of Residential Life Com- Common Council approved the eventual The road construction is definite, but mittee is about two-thirds of the way public closure of Juniper Road, which will become part of the university cam the proposed new residence halls are less through its work and will issue an of- L:~l~L~I'~~i1t~~fI~?0~t~li certain and will depend on fund raising. ficial report at the end of the fall 2004 ~ pus, allowing Notre Dame to pursue its Lyphout says the university does not semester. Campus Master Plan. The plan proposes have a specific timetable for the new resi- "We have done a lot of homework with several new buildings, renovations and dence halls because their construction is surveys to get a sense for things that residence halls around campus. dependent upon a residence hall master students like. We ran a bunch of focus The long-term plan calls for some plan. "We have hired a consultant to help groups last year and we have learned_a where around three or four new residence us look at what kind of residence halls we lot about how student life has changed halls, one on West Quad and the others should build in the future," he says. over the years," says Kirk. in the area currently occupied by Juniper Notre Dame is currently examin- Notre Dame's residence hall system Road, says James Lyphout, vice president ing both the building of new residence is currently home to 80 percent of of Business Operations. halls and the renovation of existing halls. the undergraduate student body and Before the construction begins, how- The Rev. Mark Poorman, C.S.c., vice is exceeding capacity, meaning if the , ever, a new north-south route must be president of Student Affairs, created the university wants to keep more students built to compensate for Juniper's closing. Future of Residential Life Committee on campus, it will have to create more A proposed four-lane road connecting last year to explore possible alternatives dorm space. , Edison Road to Douglas Road will be to current on-campus housing. The "It's our desire to keep upperclassmen constructed in the Ivy Road area. Edison committee is made up of administrators, on campus. We feel their leadership will be straightened out to reach the back students and rectors and is co-chaired within our residence hall system is very end of the Logan Center so additional by Kirk and Associate Vice President of important and we want to create space campus space will be created around the Student Affairs Ann Firth. for them," says Lyphout. new Marie P. DeBartolo Center for the . "One thing we talk a lot about are se- There are other building improve- Performing Arts .. nior suites," says Firth, ments currently in the works that have The university also is concerned about "which would be been included in the Campus Master pedestrian safety, as more students and incorpo Plan. Once the new security and post faculty will have to cross Juniper to get ra ted office building is complete, the current to the new buildings. A new multidisciplinary engineering security building and post office will "I think the closing of Juniper is nec building is proposed to be built at the site be renovated so that next summer all . essary given the way the campus is ex of the University Club, a private restau Health Services operations may panding in that direction," 'says Bill Kirk, rant and club for university faculty and move temporarily into those associate vice president for the Office of staff, located next to McKenna Hall. buildings. A major one-year The Road to Additions Residence Life & Housing. "I think "There are a number of things in the renovation is planned The closing of Juniper Road will facilitate continued safety comes into play, and we have had student affair's plan such as a bigger and for the Health Services accidents on Juniper Road before." better student center, graduate housing campus construction, likely to include new residence halls building next year. Construction of the se'curity and post and a university village for married stu A 100,000 square-foot office building should be completed by dents," says Firth. "For right now the expansion of the law school December 2004 so Notre Dame Security/ residential halls are the most pressing will double the size of the ex Police can move in after Christmas. Road thing given where we are in residential isting building. The addition will work for the realignment of Edison and life and the importance we place on be built on the site of the current post the alternative route for Juniper on Ivy it." D office but construction will not start un is planned to begin in the spring of2005. til fundraising is complete.

22 SCHOLASTICCAMPUS LIFE 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICCAMPUS LIFE 23

-'------.,----- ~~~ ( - ~ • (". • I"

ocated in the heart of downtown on it," she says. De Rosa CiaQ makes and linguini with baby lobster tails in a feet touch. unique dishes such as tiger shrimp sauteed Salle Grille and Tippecanoe. How LSouth Bend, Ciao's Bakery and her own menu because she serves as garlic cream sauce. Both dishes were deli But the best part about Ciao's is,. of with garlic and hot peppers or homemade predictable. On your next fancy Restaurant truly is a little taste both owner and head chef for her cious. From all that we sampled, it seems course, the food. Though slightly ex spinach gnocchi tossed in gorgonzola date, go to Ciao's Italian Restaurant of Italy. The owner, Adele de Rosa restaurant. Filling both of these roles like you can't go wrong with anything on pensive, de Rosa Ciao's cooking and cheese sauce, topped with walnuts. Meat, and Bakery. You won't be disappointed. Ciao, is from just south of Naples, Italy, would seem a bit daunting, but she isn't de Rosa Ciao's menu. the generous portions are worth every poultry, seafood and pasta dishes create a Ciao! D and opened her restaurant nine years phased. De Rosa Ciao loves her job and The decor of Ciao's contributes to its penny. Her menu well-rounded menu: W:7U7:1"0:1'~~':TI))~~~~7't'%~~~~~ ago, soon after she immigrated to the worked in the restaurant business long genuine European feel. Beige stucco .. offers a wide range. There is definitely United States. Two years ago, Ciao's before moving to the United States. walls oppose painted brick with a tiled of Italian cuisine, something for ev - k.t~~:~!}~~~'~\Uli0t~~1~~,t~~lliNt~{~iMl~;~;t~:s1~M~\·~'~;lt::t'h! moved from its original location at the Overwhelmed by the vast amount roof that overhangs the bakery on the left with traditional eryone at Ciao's. Jamison Inn to its present location on of menu choices, Scholastic decided to hand side. Thedining room is dimly lit, appetizers :'such·a.s .' Be sure to save North Michigan Street. try an appetizer: the dates wrapped in adorned with white-clothed tables, quaint cantaloupe wrapped room for scrump- H'.L.LV~'L" .• , When asked to pick her favorite item bacon - very tasty! For our two en wooden chairs and red wine-colored in prosciutto, tra tious pastries on the menu, de Rosa Ciao looked trees - which came with a choice of napkins. Five murals along the front ditional entrees from the bakery pained to have to make such a decision. soup or salad - we chose the tortelli wall simulate windows, and strategically such as homemade on Y0:tIr way out! . "I make the menu, so I love everything stuffed with crab in a leek cream sauce placed floral arrangements add the per- lasagna, .and more. So· forget . La- .... ***.** 24 SCHOLAST,ICENTERTAINMENT 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 . SCHOLASTICENTERTAINMENT 25 - ~ • (". • I"

Welcome to the List! ~ou~1I find this page in each issue this year. The premise: the top things you A Great State should check out in the next two weeks. Without further ado: Quirky comedy worth a watch ****~ MIDNIGHT DRUMMERS' CIRCLE CHECK OUT THE NEW MARIE P. BETHMURPHY The nafue speaks foritself. At midnight on Friday (Saturday morning) the DEBARTOLO CENTER FOR THE band's drumline huddles up at the base of the Dome's steps to lead Irish PERFORMING ARTS he film Garden State marks Zach he decides to take a vacation from the There are several brilliant scenes in the chants.··· . On Friday, Sept. 17, the much-hyped T Braff's directing debut, and he pills to see what happens. movie, most of which involve dialogue center will open for self-guided tours should be very happy with his What happens is a humorous, between Large and Sam. The chemistry NOTRE DAMEVS. MICHIGAN AT 2:30 P.M. to all ofND's students, faculty and work. Braff, who also wrote and thought-provoking and wholly un- between them is extraordinarily tangible Go to the game. Obviously. But before the game, this is the one staff. From 4:30 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., starred in the film, tells the story of predictable adventure in which Large and together the two exhibit a refreshing weekend morning when sleeping in is not advised. check out performers in each of the Andrew "Large" Largeman - a strug- reconnects with old friends, makes a awkwardness. The film takes you on a building's five impressive venues. Each gling, 26-year-old, ____ new one, and, in weird journey, but a worthwhile one. And Band concert and step-off show is tailored to the traits of its Los Angeles actor doing so, ultimate- as the final scene fades out, you'll already An hour and a half before kickoff (1:00 p.m. for Michigan Saturday), join particular theater. who returns to ly reconnects with want to watch it again. hundreds of others in front of Bond Hall as the Band of the Fighting Irish his home state of himself. He finds But be warned: Garden State is not for plays some classic tunes and gives a preview of its halftime routine. Forty-five HEAR WYNTON MARSALIS IN New Jersey (the this new friend in everyone. Don't go to this film in the minutes later, the band steps-off from the Dome in an electrifying march CONCERT Garden State) af- Sam - a quirky, hopes of seeing a knee-slapping comedy to the stadium. ~Touring with the Lincoln Center Jazz ter being away for fun and energetic or a gripping drama; Garden State is Orchestra, internationally renowned neither. To say it falls somewhere in the nine years. "Large" girl - who com- Brats, Dogs and Steaks jazz artist Marsalis will perform at the middle is also misleading; this movie is performing arts center Sept. 17 at 8:00 has lived his entire pletely changes his . Only a bad referee could miss the multitude of grilling stands peppered life feeling numb life. Sam is played unlike any other. p.m. in the center's concert hall. . Ifnothing else, the soundtrack alone is throughout campus. Support clubs' fund-raising efforts and fortify yourself - numb to himself, to others and es- by actress Natalie Portman and doesn't for a couple hours of standing on bleachers. Check out the Knights of Co worth the ticket cost. It includes tracks LOG ONTO pecially to his father, the psychiatrist arrive on the scene until 30 minutes lumbus stand on South Quad for some sirloin sandwiches. who has been prescribing him lithium into the film - probably Garden State's from Coldplay and the Shins, among oth- THEFACEBOOK.COM since the age of 10. Back home in New biggest flaw. The film starts off rather ers. D A little strange, but worth checking Jersey, it finally occurs to Large that slowly, but fortunately the plot quickly Tailgating out. Described as "the ultimate he may not even have a problem, and picks up. Garden State is playing at the Kerasotes Show Just because you don't know anyone with a hatchback doesn't mean you can't stalking tool," The facebook is a Place 16 located at 450 W. Chippewa Ave. partake. Clothing that identifies you as a student often increases hosts' hos national directory of college students. pitality. It doesn't hurt if they've knocked back a few cold ones either (i.e. the Post pictures, personal info and class louder, the more charitable). Watch what beverage is in your hand if you're schedules for others to look up. Say Hello to Ciao's underage - NDSP roves the parking lots. -Compiled by Local eatery offers authentic Italian food with a twist ***tr~ Nick Kolman-Mandie BETHMURPHY ocated in the heart of downtown on it," she says. De Rosa CiaQ makes and linguini with baby lobster tails in a feet touch. unique dishes such as tiger shrimp sauteed Salle Grille and Tippecanoe. How LSouth Bend, Ciao's Bakery and her own menu because she serves as garlic cream sauce. Both dishes were deli But the best part about Ciao's is,. of with garlic and hot peppers or homemade predictable. On your next fancy Restaurant truly is a little taste both owner and head chef for her cious. From all that we sampled, it seems course, the food. Though slightly ex spinach gnocchi tossed in gorgonzola date, go to Ciao's Italian Restaurant of Italy. The owner, Adele de Rosa restaurant. Filling both of these roles like you can't go wrong with anything on pensive, de Rosa Ciao's cooking and cheese sauce, topped with walnuts. Meat, and Bakery. You won't be disappointed. Ciao, is from just south of Naples, Italy, would seem a bit daunting, but she isn't de Rosa Ciao's menu. the generous portions are worth every poultry, seafood and pasta dishes create a Ciao! D and opened her restaurant nine years phased. De Rosa Ciao loves her job and The decor of Ciao's contributes to its penny. Her menu well-rounded menu: W:7U7:1"0:1'~~':TI))~~~~7't'%~~~~~ ago, soon after she immigrated to the worked in the restaurant business long genuine European feel. Beige stucco .. offers a wide range. There is definitely United States. Two years ago, Ciao's before moving to the United States. walls oppose painted brick with a tiled of Italian cuisine, something for ev - k.t~~:~!}~~~'~\Uli0t~~1~~,t~~lliNt~{~iMl~;~;t~:s1~M~\·~'~;lt::t'h! moved from its original location at the Overwhelmed by the vast amount roof that overhangs the bakery on the left with traditional eryone at Ciao's. Jamison Inn to its present location on of menu choices, Scholastic decided to hand side. Thedining room is dimly lit, appetizers :'such·a.s .' Be sure to save North Michigan Street. try an appetizer: the dates wrapped in adorned with white-clothed tables, quaint cantaloupe wrapped room for scrump- H'.L.LV~'L" .• , When asked to pick her favorite item bacon - very tasty! For our two en wooden chairs and red wine-colored in prosciutto, tra tious pastries on the menu, de Rosa Ciao looked trees - which came with a choice of napkins. Five murals along the front ditional entrees from the bakery pained to have to make such a decision. soup or salad - we chose the tortelli wall simulate windows, and strategically such as homemade on Y0:tIr way out! . "I make the menu, so I love everything stuffed with crab in a leek cream sauce placed floral arrangements add the per- lasagna, .and more. So· forget . La- .... ***.** 24 SCHOLAST,ICENTERTAINMENT 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 . SCHOLASTICENTERTAINMENT 25 ~ :, "

Legends in the Remaking Lucky Boys The campus restaurant and bar makes improvements for its second year Confusion BETHMURPHY shirts instead of last year's maroon and Chicago band rocks green. new year, a new vision. Legends Change is in store for the club side of Legends, encourages fans management will oversee several DRINK SPECIALS A Legends, as well, and the management is changes to the pub and restaurant very optimistic for this year's events. this year. The menu alone is completely "We have a lot of great stuff coming up," different, with only three or four items Monday Night Lite BRENNAMANNION says Belinda Thompson, general manager remaining from last year. There is a new of Legends' Facility and Programming. Coors light, Miller light and chef running the show: Don Miller, the ow you doing Notre Dame?!" "Some of the bands we have lined up are former head chef of Sorin's Restaurant in Bud light: $2.50 just phenomenal." The club is also insti H the Morris Inn. Miller has a completely The salutation could be heard tuting an international music series called Q & A "With LBC different vision for running Legends' at anyon-campus event, but add a few Rock Around the World. Beginning in kitchen. "He's very big on contrasting Be Well Tuesdays expletives and yell it at over 300 sweaty following," Pandav says. "Our fans are the spring, this series will take place every Scholastid Brenna Mannion asks LBC tastes," says Carla McDonald, service Well Drinks: $2.75 students, and it becomes a distinctly great. At our third show we had about second Thursday of the month and will lead singer Stubhy Pandav five random manager, who worked at Legends since energetic Lucky Boys Confusion (LBC) 300 kids there. We are kind ofa bust band. feature such ethnic performances as an questions: its inception. concert. My band and Adam's band broke up and African drum line, as well as Brazilian The change in food is certainly notice The Chicago-based rock band played when we started this, we brought the old BM: Do you have anything in the and Celtic bands. "We are really looking Irish Wednesdays able (as well as the increase in price), as an intimate 75 -minute concert at Legends fans from our previous bands over to our works? to continue fostering the music scene on Guinness, Kinsale: $3.50 dishes tend to be more intricately pre onAug. 28, complete shows." SP: I'm writing. I just wrote. a song campus," says Thompson. "And we do it pared and lavish. The menu is still incom with about 15 songs Soon after Soapbox last night. . / for free." . plete, but it will undergo alterations as from both of their Spectacle (EP) was re .. "Brew and View" is another new idea. Fiesta Thursdays the weeks pass. The beer selection, while major releases, as leased in 2000, LBC BM:What'instruments. do. .. you play? On Thursdays, after parietals, movie still impressive, has been reduced from Margaritas: $2.00 well as an acoustic signed with Elektra SP: Well, I'm the singer, but I also play will be displayed on Legends' 144-inch 73 bottled beers to 41, as the manage se.t. The atmo records. With Elek the. gUitar. I try to work out melodies screen, and the bar will serve late night Margaritas with Cuervo Gold: ment felt that 73 choices was overwhelm sphere was electric tra, LBC debuted its on the piano, but I'm not good. drinks and snacks. Legends hopes . $3.50 ing for some patrons. The remnants of as fans were treated first national release BM:Well, that makes tw.~ .. of us. "Brew and View" will give students the beers that have been eliminated from to many of their - Throwing the Game SP: .~'~ sure you're better than me .. a late-night alternative to Recker's. Strawberry Margarita: $3.00 the menu will be sold in limited avail favorite LBC songs, - in 2001. Throwing Can you playwithtw:ohands? .... Thursdays seem to generate the most . 24-ounce Corona: $4.00 ability at a special discounted price, and each one accom the Game was a compi BM:Yeah...· . attendance at Legends' club, prooably the 24 beers on tap have not changed. panied by raucous lation of Growing Out SP: . Then you're better than me. because they are reserved for student . '. . . . - Besides alterations to the menu, the res cheering, jumping, OfIt and Soapbox Spec performances, which are always well-at Frosty Fridays taurant area itself is about to undergo pushing and danc tacle. Their sophomore BMiWh~t's your favorite LBC: S~rig tended. Thursday nights have been des to play? . '. . . '. a major redecoration. The walls in the Frozen Long Island Iced Teas, ing from the crowd. effort - Commitment ignated "Senior Night" at Legends and upper dining area (which are now a light After they finished - was released in Oc SF: IIlke alot'ofthem; .ondiffererit., boasts a margarita special that makes it White Russians (Siberian' beige) will be painted Notre Dame blue, playing, t,he band tober 2003. days I like different songs. It so depends the bar's most popular night of the week. and throughout the rest of the dining Huskies): $3.25 . members came out Part of LBC's ap on themood and the Crowd. Some days As senior bartender Dan Johnson says, area a timeline of Notre Dame history to talk with fans, peal is their fans' I .likeplayirig· "Saturd~y:~ight" and "Legends is the place to be on Thursday will be traced along the walls. The re . or, in some cases, to ability to relate to the "Bossman," which ate two Of my not nights. Two-dollar margaritas? Friendly decoration even extends to the attire of sneak out and have a singers. They write as favorite .songs' ... illld. s'ome' nights faces behind the bar and in the bar? You the servers, who will don blue and gold cigarette. their own music and llike doing "South Union;" It really can't beat it." (J Adam Krier, Joe Sell, Jason Schul relied on friends and word-of-mouth for just depends. tejann, Ryan Fergus and Kaustubh their first shows around the Midwest. "Stubhy" Pandav formed LBC in 1997 They even slept on the floors in friends' 8M: What music do you listen to? legendary Facts . in Chicago's western suburbs. That year, homes in their early days. It also is appar SF: Everything! I listen to everything • Between 700·800 margaritas are sold on any given Thursday they released a four-song EP - What ent that they are in it for the music, rather from the Amc#eus soundtrack to like, • There are.about 50 student workers at Legends (bartenders Gets Me High - on their own label. A than the money. During the concert, they the heavy stuff. Tmean, I like every and servers) . year later they combined those four songs proudly told those in the audience who thing; it's the whole point. • There are 10 televisions interspersed throughout the with 13 new tracks to produce Growing already owned Commitment to "Burn it restaurant . Out OfIt. for everyone you know. We don't care, BM: My friend wants to know if you all Neith~r album was nationally distrib just get the music out." The band has have girlfriends? . • There are 13 I quoted words painted in black ink across the uted, but the band has had a strong, loyal worked rigorously to achieve its success SP: I don't; Brian doesn't; Joe doesn't; walls fan base from the beginning. thus far, playing over 250 shows in 2001, Adam doesn't; and Jason does; . "We have always had a really good ,but as Pandav modestly admits, "We're

26 SCHOlASTlCENTERTAINMENT 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICENTERTAINMENT 27 ~ :, "

26 SCHOlASTlCENTERTAINMENT 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICENTERTAINMENT 27 Bend. tract the local population. Center, "thereby creating a fine arts dis- The Snite's department of photography Marketing to the society-at-Iarge has trict on campus." and its collection of 19th-century Old become especially important since 1997, Doordan points to the university's Master drawings are renowned, Loving when the Snite lost its parking space to mission of holistic education as further says, and the collection ofMesoamerican/ the expansion of Notre Dame Stadium. evidence of its artistic commitment. We Pre-Columbian art and artifacts is the The museum used to see a yearly influx of have great facilities directed toward aca world's most-acclaimed outside ofMexico approximately 100,000 people before the demics, athletics and faith, he says, and City. "It's fair to say that our national parking was lost, Loving says. He believes now a new performing arts center to go standing is greater than o~r local stand- that it is the lack of nearby parking that with our museum. "Notre Dame wants to ing." - has cut that figure nearly in half to 57,000 be a good neighbor," he adds. "Members The Snite has three general audiences: visitors per year. of the community may not visit campus to faculty and students, the local community, About one-third see our chemistry and out-of-town tourists, a percentage of of the Notre Dame ------labs, but they will whom visit from art-laden Chicago itself. campus and local com- Learning about art is like to take part in the On campus, several outreach programs munity will never visit learning a foreign language. arts. Arts are a very work to draw increasing numbers of the Snite, Loving says. important bridge to visitors to the Snite. The museum works "There is a large seg- If you don't know the the community." closely with faculty, for example, who ment of the population d h Among students, grammar an t e syntax, d h want to enhance their students' learning with no interest in the Door an sees t e experience with the arts. About 600 stu visual arts." you feel uncomfortable greatest obstacle to dents in Notre Dame's Spanish language At t h e OppOSIte. en d with it. an interest in the courses visit the Snite yearly for guided of the spectrum, .an- arts as what he has tours in Spanish. Many Notre Dame stu other third, comprised -Gi-n,-C-o,-",-Sn-it.-:-M-=-u,-eu-m-:-:M:-,,:-ket-:-:in-g'-nd:-:P:-:ub::-lic-:::Rc-:-:la-:-tio-n'-;:-Sp-ec-:--i'l;::-ist~ coined the "embar- dents also frequented the museum thanks largely of middle-aged rassment of riches" to the Core program - the now defunct to mature women, will visit regularly. phenomenon. With the large number of class for Arts and Letters majors that has "It's the middle third I worry about," events on campus, Doordan says, many There Is a Museunl on This Campus? been replaced by the College Seminar. says Loving, explaining the sports car students simply don't have time to take Snite Museum seeks greater attendance with new exhibits The Snite staff will even structure exhibit as an attempt to speak to-that advantage of them. The wealth of op tours specifically tailored to a particular particular demographic. It was very tions also increases competition among Notre Dame class, including courses in rewarding, then, for him to see fathers event planners for what little free time NICKKOLMAN-MANDLE business and science. Loving says such and sons - members of the middle third Notre Dame students do have, he says. "There are students who go through free time, and when they do, they go to - coming in over the summer to view the Walking through the poster-plastered he 1954 Ferrari 500 Mondial is their whole course of education at Notre _ Corby's." Costa can relate: "Whenlwas__ students visit in hopes that studying art will improve their problem solving and Ferrari and its companions. halls of O'Shaughnessy is proof enough. T magnificent to behold. The auto, Dame and don't realize there's a museum in college I never went to the university analytical thinking, both of which are With a limited advertising budget and However, the Snite has two major assets: seductive and powerful, appears to on campus," says Charles Loving, direc art museum. I had no time and it was so cramped working conditions, the museum Its marketing plays a strong role in at have been freshly dipped in a vat of bold, tor and curator of modern sculpture at boring." critical components cif any education regardless of concentration. administrators do feel frustrated, at times. tracting visitors, and the free admission red lipstick, producing a shimmering the Snite. She says many perceive museums like The Snite also reaches out beyond cam However, both Snite staff and university is an incentive for visitors to view the gleam to accentuate the body's gentle The museum recognized the exhibit, the Snite as "culture bunkers" - places pus to the South Bend community. Thou officials think the future looks bright for museum's exhibits. curves. The car, while not quite erotic Art of the National Sports Car, as an over for an elite minority who are well-versed sands ofloca:l elementary school students the Notre Dame arts culture. "I'm taking Doordan's department works closely (except perhaps to the Italians who made whelming success. Because the owner of in art or are artists themselves. Costa be cross the threshold of the museum each [the new performing arts center] as an with the Snite, especially in the museum's it), is intoxicating nonetheless, and to see the collection could only lend the lieves it is the job of museum educators year, and the Snite offers tours for high. indication that the university is serious end-of-year exhibit of student art, which it up-close is to imbibe the passion of the cars out for the summer, fall stu like herself to break down that school students in addition to classes on about promoting the arts," says Dennis has proven popular in past years. designer who crafted it. dents were given only one week barrier and make museums Doordan, chairperson of the Department Currently the Snite is exhibiting a col Automotive aficionados would want to see them. A good number art history for adults. Recitals, lectures, more accessible places. "Learn ofArt, Art History and Design. "I'm very lection of 32 prints byworld-famo'us na to know that the car boasts a 2.0-liter, missed out. literary events and films also seek to at- ing about art is like learning a optimistic." ture photographer Ansel Adams (through twin-cam, four-cylinder engine and uses Why is it that a museum foreign language. If you don't Loving agrees. Oct. 31) and a collection of large-scale a tubular frame, but for the uneducated that is ranked among the know the grammar and syn "I think the prints by modern artist Richard Serra onlooker, its exquisite appearance is cap nation's top 10 university tax, you feel uncomfortable advent of the (through Nov. 14), "likely the most im tivating enough. museums has a reputation with it." performing portant [sculptor] of our time," says Lov Four equally impressive autos from among many as "that building Loving acknowledges that a arts- center ing. On Sept. 19, an exhibition of Soviet France, Germany, England and the that blocks my view of Notre university in a major urban will be: a good propaganda posters from the Cold War United States accompany the Mondial, Dame Stadium"? The dilem location would have a greater thing for the opens to the public. and they sit right here on campus in the ma of the museum/student influence on the area's arts museum," says "It's hard to measure how well a museum Snite Museum of Art. Correction: They relationship isn't exclusive and culture, but he believes that Loving, whose is doing," says Loving. "There are many sat in the Snite Museum. The exhibit to Notre Dame, says Gina Notre Dame "has an hiferiority Ion g'- t e r m factors considered and attendance is-not ended on Aug. 29, a week after classes Costa, the Snite's marketing complex with Chicago." However, dream is to see necessarily one of them. I'm very inter had begun. The cars (a crude, ill-fitting and public -relations special the Snite is actually considered a the Snite Mu- ested in the small number of people with label) were breathtaking. They were awe ist. major museum between Chicago seum relocated a profound interest in museums." The inspiring. They are gone. She says peer institutions across and Detroit, often drawing au- to a site-next to mission, he says, is to have a positive The message here is not so much a the country have the same diences out of those cities the DeBartolo influence on individual lives. D tough-luck lesson as it is an eye-opener. problem. "Students have no to view exhibits in South

SCHOLASTICENTERTAINMENT 28 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICENTERTAINMENT 29 Bend. tract the local population. Center, "thereby creating a fine arts dis- The Snite's department of photography Marketing to the society-at-Iarge has trict on campus." and its collection of 19th-century Old become especially important since 1997, Doordan points to the university's Master drawings are renowned, Loving when the Snite lost its parking space to mission of holistic education as further says, and the collection ofMesoamerican/ the expansion of Notre Dame Stadium. evidence of its artistic commitment. We Pre-Columbian art and artifacts is the The museum used to see a yearly influx of have great facilities directed toward aca world's most-acclaimed outside ofMexico approximately 100,000 people before the demics, athletics and faith, he says, and City. "It's fair to say that our national parking was lost, Loving says. He believes now a new performing arts center to go standing is greater than o~r local stand- that it is the lack of nearby parking that with our museum. "Notre Dame wants to ing." - has cut that figure nearly in half to 57,000 be a good neighbor," he adds. "Members The Snite has three general audiences: visitors per year. of the community may not visit campus to faculty and students, the local community, About one-third see our chemistry and out-of-town tourists, a percentage of of the Notre Dame ------labs, but they will whom visit from art-laden Chicago itself. campus and local com- Learning about art is like to take part in the On campus, several outreach programs munity will never visit learning a foreign language. arts. Arts are a very work to draw increasing numbers of the Snite, Loving says. important bridge to visitors to the Snite. The museum works "There is a large seg- If you don't know the the community." closely with faculty, for example, who ment of the population d h Among students, grammar an t e syntax, d h want to enhance their students' learning with no interest in the Door an sees t e experience with the arts. About 600 stu visual arts." you feel uncomfortable greatest obstacle to dents in Notre Dame's Spanish language At t h e OppOSIte. en d with it. an interest in the courses visit the Snite yearly for guided of the spectrum, .an- arts as what he has tours in Spanish. Many Notre Dame stu other third, comprised -Gi-n,-C-o,-",-Sn-it.-:-M-=-u,-eu-m-:-:M:-,,:-ket-:-:in-g'-nd:-:P:-:ub::-lic-:::Rc-:-:la-:-tio-n'-;:-Sp-ec-:--i'l;::-ist~ coined the "embar- dents also frequented the museum thanks largely of middle-aged rassment of riches" to the Core program - the now defunct to mature women, will visit regularly. phenomenon. With the large number of class for Arts and Letters majors that has "It's the middle third I worry about," events on campus, Doordan says, many There Is a Museunl on This Campus? been replaced by the College Seminar. says Loving, explaining the sports car students simply don't have time to take Snite Museum seeks greater attendance with new exhibits The Snite staff will even structure exhibit as an attempt to speak to-that advantage of them. The wealth of op tours specifically tailored to a particular particular demographic. It was very tions also increases competition among Notre Dame class, including courses in rewarding, then, for him to see fathers event planners for what little free time NICKKOLMAN-MANDLE business and science. Loving says such and sons - members of the middle third Notre Dame students do have, he says. "There are students who go through free time, and when they do, they go to - coming in over the summer to view the Walking through the poster-plastered he 1954 Ferrari 500 Mondial is their whole course of education at Notre _ Corby's." Costa can relate: "Whenlwas__ students visit in hopes that studying art will improve their problem solving and Ferrari and its companions. halls of O'Shaughnessy is proof enough. T magnificent to behold. The auto, Dame and don't realize there's a museum in college I never went to the university analytical thinking, both of which are With a limited advertising budget and However, the Snite has two major assets: seductive and powerful, appears to on campus," says Charles Loving, direc art museum. I had no time and it was so cramped working conditions, the museum Its marketing plays a strong role in at have been freshly dipped in a vat of bold, tor and curator of modern sculpture at boring." critical components cif any education regardless of concentration. administrators do feel frustrated, at times. tracting visitors, and the free admission red lipstick, producing a shimmering the Snite. She says many perceive museums like The Snite also reaches out beyond cam However, both Snite staff and university is an incentive for visitors to view the gleam to accentuate the body's gentle The museum recognized the exhibit, the Snite as "culture bunkers" - places pus to the South Bend community. Thou officials think the future looks bright for museum's exhibits. curves. The car, while not quite erotic Art of the National Sports Car, as an over for an elite minority who are well-versed sands ofloca:l elementary school students the Notre Dame arts culture. "I'm taking Doordan's department works closely (except perhaps to the Italians who made whelming success. Because the owner of in art or are artists themselves. Costa be cross the threshold of the museum each [the new performing arts center] as an with the Snite, especially in the museum's it), is intoxicating nonetheless, and to see the collection could only lend the lieves it is the job of museum educators year, and the Snite offers tours for high. indication that the university is serious end-of-year exhibit of student art, which it up-close is to imbibe the passion of the cars out for the summer, fall stu like herself to break down that school students in addition to classes on about promoting the arts," says Dennis has proven popular in past years. designer who crafted it. dents were given only one week barrier and make museums Doordan, chairperson of the Department Currently the Snite is exhibiting a col Automotive aficionados would want to see them. A good number art history for adults. Recitals, lectures, more accessible places. "Learn ofArt, Art History and Design. "I'm very lection of 32 prints byworld-famo'us na to know that the car boasts a 2.0-liter, missed out. literary events and films also seek to at- ing about art is like learning a optimistic." ture photographer Ansel Adams (through twin-cam, four-cylinder engine and uses Why is it that a museum foreign language. If you don't Loving agrees. Oct. 31) and a collection of large-scale a tubular frame, but for the uneducated that is ranked among the know the grammar and syn "I think the prints by modern artist Richard Serra onlooker, its exquisite appearance is cap nation's top 10 university tax, you feel uncomfortable advent of the (through Nov. 14), "likely the most im tivating enough. museums has a reputation with it." performing portant [sculptor] of our time," says Lov Four equally impressive autos from among many as "that building Loving acknowledges that a arts- center ing. On Sept. 19, an exhibition of Soviet France, Germany, England and the that blocks my view of Notre university in a major urban will be: a good propaganda posters from the Cold War United States accompany the Mondial, Dame Stadium"? The dilem location would have a greater thing for the opens to the public. and they sit right here on campus in the ma of the museum/student influence on the area's arts museum," says "It's hard to measure how well a museum Snite Museum of Art. Correction: They relationship isn't exclusive and culture, but he believes that Loving, whose is doing," says Loving. "There are many sat in the Snite Museum. The exhibit to Notre Dame, says Gina Notre Dame "has an hiferiority Ion g'- t e r m factors considered and attendance is-not ended on Aug. 29, a week after classes Costa, the Snite's marketing complex with Chicago." However, dream is to see necessarily one of them. I'm very inter had begun. The cars (a crude, ill-fitting and public -relations special the Snite is actually considered a the Snite Mu- ested in the small number of people with label) were breathtaking. They were awe ist. major museum between Chicago seum relocated a profound interest in museums." The inspiring. They are gone. She says peer institutions across and Detroit, often drawing au- to a site-next to mission, he says, is to have a positive The message here is not so much a the country have the same diences out of those cities the DeBartolo influence on individual lives. D tough-luck lesson as it is an eye-opener. problem. "Students have no to view exhibits in South

SCHOLASTICENTERTAINMENT 28 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 9 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICENTERTAINMENT 29 :i':"

DREW IRISHEYESON MacKAY Freshman swimmer Drew MacKay comes to Notre Dame after competing in the Athens Olympics this summer. With a time of2:07.65 in the 200-meter individual medley, MacKay set both a personal and national record for the Cayman Islands. His .59 second start was the fastest time off the blocks in the entire Our Calls Olympics. Drew talks about the Olympics and what brought him to Notre Dame. Football OPPONENT: MICHIGAN WHERE: NOTRE DAME STADIUM Why did you come to ND? M eski Ilaneous WHEN: SATURDAY, SEPT. 11,2:30 P.M. The coach called me. I came up here on a recruiting trip andI really liked it. I like the guys on the team, the atmosphere of the schooling and this ~s where I I After our performance at BYU, I wanted to come. can't fathom Notre Dame putting CHRISTOPHERMESKILL What Could Have Been together an offense to match What was your most memorable moment at the Olympic Games? Michigan. Our offensive line couldn't Definitely standing behind the block on my first race. It was the first race of the fter last year's bowl game se- the rankings formula because they hold anything back, and our running To deny a 13 -1 Oklahoma team a share first heat of the first day of the Olympics. I was there and I was just so nervous. lections, the winds of change did not provide the objectivity desired game resembled pee-wee football. A of the national championship would The stands were packed. started to shake the foundation by the BCS. have been even more of an injustice I'm praying for it to be close, but of the Bowl Championship Series Sys- Now that the dust has settled in the than requiring USC's having to split expecting it to get ugly, quick. How long have you been swimming? Michigan takes this one from the tern. Mter all, USC, the team regarded college football world, what would the title last season. After all, USC at I have been swimming competitively since I was 10, but I've grown up on an is as No. 1 by sports analysts was not have happened if all of these changes Irish, 28-6. least got a share of the title when they land so I pretty much have always been swimming. I always had a natural feel for CHRlSTOPHERMESKILL playing for the national ~ W---h-:I----t-h-----I-d-----B--C-s s had occurred before the the water and even before I started swimming competitively, I could easily beat . -. : lee a ystem was not . were shut out of the BCS champion champIOnshIp, Because -perfect. it would have done a better most debated national ship game. people who did. of strength of schedule, 'job, last year in deciding the bowl championship game in the While the old BCS System was not I Notre Dame 24, Michigan 22. Notre N 2 assignments than the new system: h' f h NCAA? o. LSU an d N o. 3 , would have. : Istory 0 t e . perfect, it would have done a better job _ You are pretty fast off of the blocks. What sets you apart from all of the other swim Dame looked terrible last weekend Oklahoma were to play - , On selection day, the last year in deciding the bowl assign- mers? against BYU and Michigan ran right I d9n't know. I think it's just natural. It's not something that you can practice. You for the title, while No. 1 USC was to new system would have pitted No. 1 ments than the new system. With through Miami of Ohio, but neither faceNo.4MichiganintheRoseBowl. USC against No.2 LSU. either have a .quick [jump off of the blocks] or you don't and I am just lucky that of those games were played in Notre both systems leaving one I have a quick one. It's pretty cool to be the fastest off of the blocks, but really, With LSU and USC both dominating The winner of that match team out of the big game, Dame Stadium. Notre Dame comes that's not what I'm going for. out on its home field on Saturday, their bowl games; a controversial split up obviously would have the real difference lies in championship - which only happens been the national cham shocks the Wolverines and the the split national cham Now that you have competed in the Olympics, what are yourgoalsJor college? students rush the field just like they when the No. 1 team in the country is pion. No.3 Oklahoma pionship. Since USC was I want to make NCAAs each year that I am in college and, hopefully, place. Hope did in 2002. not the winner of the BCS champion- would then have played ranked first in the AP poll, fully, Notre Dame swimming will have a couple of other guys who make it and we MIKEISELIN ship - sparked the need for a better No.4 Michigan in the last year's assignments gave can have a team. We can compete, and hopefully we can win someday. system. Rose Bowl. Had Oklahoma all three contenders a shot at I KEY TO THE GAME: During the off-season, the NCAA won that game,- it would the title, rather than alienat -- - Who is your favorite athlete? Back to the Days of Davie made two major changes to the BCS. have finished the season ing one of them. The;~fore, Lenny Krayzelburg. He was a backstroker for the U.S., and I really idolized him. Notre Dame needs to find a way to First, strength ofschedule would have with a 13 -1 record. But since the split national championship Other than swimming, I would probably have to say Pete Sampras. I've just always run the football. The eleven yards loved the way he would run on the 'court and get the job done. He worked hard a much smaller role in deciding bowl it could not have catapulted above the should have been perceived as a that the Irish gained on the ground and he was damn good. games. Second, the computers that Sugar Bowl victor in the final stand strength of the old system rather than last week was simply embarrassing. If - Bryan Lowery the Irish are going to have a chance in replaced subj ective sports analysts ings, Oklahoma could not have earned a sign that the system was poor. have been given less significance in a share of the national championship. this one, they will need Ryan Grant to o be taking carries.

STATZONE Notre Dame Olympians: took home Shannon Boxx combined for another three egon State (0-2-0) by a score of 2-1. The season home opener against Evansville, offensive-player-of-the-week honors. So Bryan Lowery brings you ... four gold medals from the Athens sum gold medals. This raises Notre Dame's all next day senior Jack Stewart led the team 7:30 p.m. at Alumni Field. far the Irish defense, led by fifth-year mer games, topping the previous Notre time count to six gold, three silver, and five in a 2-0 win against Boston University All-American Melissa Tancredi, has ALL THE STATS Dame record of two, setin 1948. Incom bronze medals. (0-2-0) with his second goal in two games, Women's Soccer (4-0-0): ranked sec only allowed 12 opponent shots on goal you need to know' ing freshman Mariel Zagunis won the earning him Big East defensive-player-of ond in the nation for the second straight in four games, while the Irish have posted first gold medal for the u.s. fencing team Men's Soccer (2-0-0): ranked ninth the-week honors. Senior goalkeeper Chris year. The Irish shut out 13th ranked Stan 16 goals. The team will travel to four away in 100 years. Former Irish women's bas in preseason, the team's highest-ever pre Sawyer also earned his first shutout of the ford, and junior Katie Thorlakson pulled a games before taking on Big East competi ketball standout Ruth Riley and former season rank. The team won its first game season. He will be seeking his 22nd career hat trick and registered two assists against tor Pittsburgh at Alumni Field on Sept. 24 soccer players Kate Sobrero Markgraf and of the season last Friday night, topping Or- shutout this Friday in the Irish's regular No.4 Sarita Clara, earning her Big East at 7:30 p.m. 0

30 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICS PORTS 31 :i':"

30 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICS PORTS 31 'SGHOtASTIC =

Germany. In Germany, Zagunis stunned the fencing world by winning the saber competition. This astounding finish moved Zagunis into sixth place in the world and, more importantly, within striking distance of qualifying for com petition in Athens. Zagunis assumed a hopeful outlook on the open slot after the World Cup in Germany. "It was kind of a long shot," Zagunis says, "but as time went on, I had a really good feeling that this is going to work out - it's going to work out like it's supposed to." On June 6, while on a crowded bus in the international terminal of the CHRISTOPHERMESKILL Portland Airport, Zagunis learned that Esimaje of Nigeria had withdrawn from Gheorghitoaia at the break. Despite the Olympics. When Zagunis' mother slowing down her pace, Zagunis won aking decisions is never easy, Ranked 11th in the world at the time, tled to a 14-point tie. Jacobson got the received the phone call informing her her semifinal match, 15-10. and 19-year-old saber phenom M Zagunis had her work cut out for her at winning touch in the final round of this of her daughter's accomplishment, she In the finals, Zagunis was scheduled to Mariel Zagunis had to make a the Olympic Trials. To earn one of the epic and secured a spot for her sister on stood up and shouted from the opposite face the No. 5 Xue Tan of China, who big one. During her senior year of high two United States saber spots, Zagunis the Olympic team. Despite her impres end of the bus, "You made it, Marie!! You eliminated SadaJacobson in the semffi school while a member of the Oregon had to upstage a very talented field that sive bout, Zagunis believed she would be made the Olympic team!" nals. In her best bout of the Olympics, Fencing Alliance, Zagunis had to decide included sisters Sada and Emily Jacob watching the Olympics from home. Heading into the Olympics, Zagunis Zagunis set the pace for the match, tak between Notre Dame's offer of admis son. With top-ranked Sada Jacobson "I was really devastated becausel put had climbed to a career-best No.4 rank ing an early 8-2 lead over her adversary. sion in the Class of 2007 and her dream almost assured a spot on the team, Za- my life on hold to try and make the ing, and was in full throttle for Athens. Despite Tan's best effort at a comeback, of fencing in the Olympics. . Olympic team," Zagunis says about the Zagunis gained momentum, beating her Zagunis thwarted her rally to win the To complicate the matter, Zagunis' loss. opponents by increasing margins in each gold by a final score of 15-9. had two major influences drawing her. Fortunately, there was a loophole in of the Olympic rounds. Zagunis' win made her the first Ameri to Notre Dame. First, fellow Oregon the system that would allow Zagunis Granted a bye in the round of 32, Za can female ever to win a fencing medal Fencing Alliance members Patrick' to participate in the Olympics. For gunis was set to face Madoka Hisagae of in the Olympics and the first American Ghattas, Valerie Providenza and Angela' the loophole to benefit her, Zagunis Japan in the round of 16. Close to elimi to win the gold in fencing since 1904. Vincent all accepted offers of admission needed two things to happen: A saber nation, Zagunis battled back in an excel Zagunis adds the gold medal to a col to Notre Dame. Second, Zagunis' coach, who already quali~ed for the Olympics lent match with ten deadlocked scores to lection of impressive accolades which Ed Korfanty, is a former Notre Dame· needed to drop out, and Zagunis would edge Hisagae, 15-13, and advance to the include numerous Junior World Cham coach and was trained by current Notre need to be the top-ranked independent quarterfinals. pionship trophies, World Championship Dame head coach Janusz Bednarski .• qualifier. While a rumor spread about In the quarterfinals, Zagunis faced titles and World Cup medals. Despite these factors attracting her to' Nigerian Federation fencer Jacqueline 12th-seeded Elena Jemayeva of Azer "I'm just glad that I had a second Notre Dame, Zagunis opted to train for' Esimaje's withdrawal from the Athens baijan. The heavily contested match chance and that I had the opportunity the Olympics. . . games, Zagunis needed to continue her was over in only 55 seconds. Zagunis to show everybody that I really deserved "Ever since I started fencing, my goal: training. and Jemayeva tied it up at touches 3, to be here," Zagunis says, reflecting back was to go to the Olympics, and not neces- . ·Inaddition to training, Zagunis 4, 5, 9 and 11. However, Zagunis came on all of the events that transpired since sarily win but to at least make the team," . Freshman Mariel Zaguniswon the first gold medal compete~ in a number of events before . out on top in the end, with a 4-0 run to her .senior year of high school. says Zagunis. "I am excited that I got the . fo'r the u.s. Olympic fencing team since 1904 in the' OlympiCs to bolster her worldwide advance past Jemayeva, 15-11. Despite having to choose between chance to go and show everybody what I Athens this year. rank 'At the Senior World Cup in Or With two rounds remaining, Zagunis fencing for the Irish or for the United was made of," she adds. gunisand Emily Jacobson competed for leans, France, Zagunis fenced her way to focused, calling it the "stage in the game States last year, Zagunis got tlle best of The difficulty of this choice was one the final spot on the roster. a sixth,.place. finish, which marked her [where it is] completely mental." both ~orlds': following her own Olympic of the smallest bumps in.. the road· on In the. clQ~est.match in either, of their "asone to watch heading into the' World Zagtlnis dominated the semifinals, dream and now joining the Notre Dame Zagunis' path to Olympic glory. careers; Zagunis and SadaJacobson bat- Cup competition in Tauberbischofsheim, leading 8-2 over Romanian Catalina fencing team and the class of 2008. 0

32 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 33 'SGHOtASTIC =

32 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 33 SPQRT~------~------'sPORTs:l------, tions for their 2004 campaign by taking "We need to build on last year and con a 10 -day trip to Brazil for some sunshine tinue to evolve," says Bohn. The team's and soccer. From Aug. 10-19, the Irish record leapt to 4-0 this season after it trained in Campinas, Brazil - roughly defeated Stanford University and Santa an hour outside of San Paulo. Clara University in its kickoff Adidas "The trip to Brazil was great since it Classic tournament. was 10 days with all the girls, including This season, the Irish women's the freshmen," Boland says. "The trip team includes 23 former letter-win was earlier than any otherpreseason'~o ners and a freshman class rated as we were able to concentrate on soccer, high as No.2 nationally. as well as have an opportunity to really With so many talented players, Wal . get to know one another off the field." drum, in his sixth year as head coach, Junior goalkeeper Erika .. J30hn faces the challenge of selecting a start says that one of the strengths· oCthis ing 11. "Our depth really is our great year's team' is the unity that the girls est strength since it will keep us fresh share. "Team chemistry is a big part as the season goes along," says Boland. of success. Going to a foreign country The greatest depth seems to lie in the with a different language really helped defensive corps. The Irish return three us to come together. It was a great of four starters from last year's unit, two bonding and team-building trip, not to of whom have been plagued by knee in mention the great dance party on th,e juries in seasons past. Standout defender bus, too." . .. .. Chapman returns this year after missing Ii : i Boland said that the Irish faced a very the 2003 college season and the Women's different, much more te9hnical style of teammate, [sophomore} Christie .Shaner, World. Cup due to an anterior cruciate nets after compiling a 0.84 goals-against I soccer than is 1?l.~yei:l here in the U. S. "It's none ofus speak Portuguese," says Boland. ligament knee injury. Two other players average in her first two seasons with the not nearly as physical a game in Latin "The most popular word used by the meat who will form the core of this year's de Irish. America," she says. "You don't see the slicers was 'corazon,' which is the Spanish fense are returning starters: fifth-year se. In the midfield the Irish will be led by hard-tackling play that is much more word for heart. After we had already eaten nior Melissa Tancredi - who missed the sophomore J en Buczkowski. The rest of common here." seven of these corazons, we learned that 2000 season due to an ACL injury - and the midfield is made up of junior Annie Bohn agrees. "Every player has the abil there were lots of chickens grazing Brazil sophomore Shaner. Tancredi is certainly Schefter, sophomores Jill Krivacek, Lizzie ity to take you on and beat you with the heartless! " included in any discussion of national Reed, Claire Gallerano and senior Sarah ball. The. players down in Brazil may Now that the season is in full swing, player-of-the-year honors. Senior tri Halpenny. . not necessarily be the most athletic, but it's business as usual for the Irish. captain Gudrun Gunnarsdottir, senior The Irish's biggest losses from last they are just amazingly skilled with the "We're not looking too far ahead, but Kate Tulisiak, and juniors Jenny Walz, year's graduating class are at the forward ball," she says. we know what the final goal is," says Miranda Ford and Amber McMillin com position: The Irish will miss the speed The different style of play didn't keep Boland. "We need to focus on winning bine to join sophomore Kari Kennedy to and scoring ability of Amy Warner and the IrIsh from playing their usual winning the Big East, and then having success in round but the Irish defensive unit. Amanda Guertin, who combined for a soccer. The squad played six games, wine. the NCAA Tournament. Obviously our Bohn returns as the incumbent in the total of 85 goals in their Notre Dame ning five and tying one; Leading scorers goal is to win a national championship, but careers. But members of this year's team on the trip included senior Candace we need to take it one day at a time." certainly have the talent to replace them. Chapman, with four goals, junior Katie Boland credits Coach Randy Wal Boland, named first team all-Big East and Thorlakson, with six assists, freshman drum with creating the driven mind second team Academic All-American last Jannica Tjeder, with three goals and two set of this year's squad. "Coach has year, will be joined at forward by juniors assists, and freshman Ashley Jones, with done so much. He's changed the Thorlakson and Maggie Manning, as Girls with Goals two goals and three assists. The games way we practice and really given us well as sophomores Becky Tweneboah - which Boland says attracted many a different mentality," Boland says. and Molly Iarocci. Irish women's soccer hopes to stay healthy, make curious local spectators - included the Being an elite squad has its advan The highly touted freshman class traditional exchange of gifts and group run at national championship tages and disadvantages, as the Irish includes four highly regarded forwards photos. witnessed last year. The 2003 team suf - Amanda Cinalli, Kerri Hanks, Susan MEGANCONNELLY TheIrish also enjoyed their time at the fered many key injuries but still was able Pinnick and Tjeder - plus midfielder "Our greatest challenge this season Vitoria Hotel and soaked in the atmo to add its name to the record books during Ashley Jones and goalkeeper Lauren ne of the most important mem is really to stay healthy," says senior sphere at first-division Brazilian men's a 20-3-1 season thatfeatured an 18-0-1 Karas. O bers of this year's Notre Dame tri-captain Mary Boland. Boland, no professional games held at Ponta Preta start, a 10 -game shutout streak (fifth -lon Boland emphasizes the importance of ! women's soccer team will not stranger to the training room herself after and Guarani. Meals included Brazil's gest in NCAA history and longest since student support this season. "It means so . several ankle problems, says she is fi even lace up a pair of cleats this sea . many exotic forms ofpizza and unique 1999), and a balanced overall squad that much when the crowd is really loud and son. She won't dribble a ball or put on nally 100 percent and is not planning on steakhouses that featured table-top carv finished third nationally in scoring (3.04 heckling the other team -like the 12th a jersey. But trainer Jamie Cranage will do any trips to the training room for herself ings of a variety of entrees. goals per game) and fifth in goals-against man," she says. "We don't want teams to this year. her best to make sure that every player is "They cooked up all types of animals, average (0.49). Despite the team's success, like playing us here." 0 Aside from attempting to remain injury healthy and ready to play each game this serving the meat on sticks and delivering the year still ended without a national With their sights set on a national season. free this season, the Irish began prepara- them right to our seats. Other than our championship for the Irish.

34 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 35 . . " . . ...•..... - .... :. -, ---,--~-~-.-..~-~- SPQRT~------~------'sPORTs:l------, tions for their 2004 campaign by taking "We need to build on last year and con a 10 -day trip to Brazil for some sunshine tinue to evolve," says Bohn. The team's and soccer. From Aug. 10-19, the Irish record leapt to 4-0 this season after it trained in Campinas, Brazil - roughly defeated Stanford University and Santa an hour outside of San Paulo. Clara University in its kickoff Adidas "The trip to Brazil was great since it Classic tournament. was 10 days with all the girls, including This season, the Irish women's the freshmen," Boland says. "The trip team includes 23 former letter-win was earlier than any otherpreseason'~o ners and a freshman class rated as we were able to concentrate on soccer, high as No.2 nationally. as well as have an opportunity to really With so many talented players, Wal . get to know one another off the field." drum, in his sixth year as head coach, Junior goalkeeper Erika .. J30hn faces the challenge of selecting a start says that one of the strengths· oCthis ing 11. "Our depth really is our great year's team' is the unity that the girls est strength since it will keep us fresh share. "Team chemistry is a big part as the season goes along," says Boland. of success. Going to a foreign country The greatest depth seems to lie in the with a different language really helped defensive corps. The Irish return three us to come together. It was a great of four starters from last year's unit, two bonding and team-building trip, not to of whom have been plagued by knee in mention the great dance party on th,e juries in seasons past. Standout defender bus, too." . .. .. Chapman returns this year after missing Ii : i Boland said that the Irish faced a very the 2003 college season and the Women's different, much more te9hnical style of teammate, [sophomore} Christie .Shaner, World. Cup due to an anterior cruciate nets after compiling a 0.84 goals-against I soccer than is 1?l.~yei:l here in the U. S. "It's none ofus speak Portuguese," says Boland. ligament knee injury. Two other players average in her first two seasons with the not nearly as physical a game in Latin "The most popular word used by the meat who will form the core of this year's de Irish. America," she says. "You don't see the slicers was 'corazon,' which is the Spanish fense are returning starters: fifth-year se. In the midfield the Irish will be led by hard-tackling play that is much more word for heart. After we had already eaten nior Melissa Tancredi - who missed the sophomore J en Buczkowski. The rest of common here." seven of these corazons, we learned that 2000 season due to an ACL injury - and the midfield is made up of junior Annie Bohn agrees. "Every player has the abil there were lots of chickens grazing Brazil sophomore Shaner. Tancredi is certainly Schefter, sophomores Jill Krivacek, Lizzie ity to take you on and beat you with the heartless! " included in any discussion of national Reed, Claire Gallerano and senior Sarah ball. The. players down in Brazil may Now that the season is in full swing, player-of-the-year honors. Senior tri Halpenny. . not necessarily be the most athletic, but it's business as usual for the Irish. captain Gudrun Gunnarsdottir, senior The Irish's biggest losses from last they are just amazingly skilled with the "We're not looking too far ahead, but Kate Tulisiak, and juniors Jenny Walz, year's graduating class are at the forward ball," she says. we know what the final goal is," says Miranda Ford and Amber McMillin com position: The Irish will miss the speed The different style of play didn't keep Boland. "We need to focus on winning bine to join sophomore Kari Kennedy to and scoring ability of Amy Warner and the IrIsh from playing their usual winning the Big East, and then having success in round but the Irish defensive unit. Amanda Guertin, who combined for a soccer. The squad played six games, wine. the NCAA Tournament. Obviously our Bohn returns as the incumbent in the total of 85 goals in their Notre Dame ning five and tying one; Leading scorers goal is to win a national championship, but careers. But members of this year's team on the trip included senior Candace we need to take it one day at a time." certainly have the talent to replace them. Chapman, with four goals, junior Katie Boland credits Coach Randy Wal Boland, named first team all-Big East and Thorlakson, with six assists, freshman drum with creating the driven mind second team Academic All-American last Jannica Tjeder, with three goals and two set of this year's squad. "Coach has year, will be joined at forward by juniors assists, and freshman Ashley Jones, with done so much. He's changed the Thorlakson and Maggie Manning, as Girls with Goals two goals and three assists. The games way we practice and really given us well as sophomores Becky Tweneboah - which Boland says attracted many a different mentality," Boland says. and Molly Iarocci. Irish women's soccer hopes to stay healthy, make curious local spectators - included the Being an elite squad has its advan The highly touted freshman class traditional exchange of gifts and group run at national championship tages and disadvantages, as the Irish includes four highly regarded forwards photos. witnessed last year. The 2003 team suf - Amanda Cinalli, Kerri Hanks, Susan MEGANCONNELLY TheIrish also enjoyed their time at the fered many key injuries but still was able Pinnick and Tjeder - plus midfielder "Our greatest challenge this season Vitoria Hotel and soaked in the atmo to add its name to the record books during Ashley Jones and goalkeeper Lauren ne of the most important mem is really to stay healthy," says senior sphere at first-division Brazilian men's a 20-3-1 season thatfeatured an 18-0-1 Karas. O bers of this year's Notre Dame tri-captain Mary Boland. Boland, no professional games held at Ponta Preta start, a 10 -game shutout streak (fifth -lon Boland emphasizes the importance of ! women's soccer team will not stranger to the training room herself after and Guarani. Meals included Brazil's gest in NCAA history and longest since student support this season. "It means so . several ankle problems, says she is fi even lace up a pair of cleats this sea . many exotic forms ofpizza and unique 1999), and a balanced overall squad that much when the crowd is really loud and son. She won't dribble a ball or put on nally 100 percent and is not planning on steakhouses that featured table-top carv finished third nationally in scoring (3.04 heckling the other team -like the 12th a jersey. But trainer Jamie Cranage will do any trips to the training room for herself ings of a variety of entrees. goals per game) and fifth in goals-against man," she says. "We don't want teams to this year. her best to make sure that every player is "They cooked up all types of animals, average (0.49). Despite the team's success, like playing us here." 0 Aside from attempting to remain injury healthy and ready to play each game this serving the meat on sticks and delivering the year still ended without a national With their sights set on a national season. free this season, the Irish began prepara- them right to our seats. Other than our championship for the Irish.

34 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICSPORTS 35 . . " . . ...•..... - .... :. -, ---,--~-~-.-..~-~- -- - - ~ -

Great Expectations? Ditch 'Ern

STEVEMATTINGLY

ell, it's that wonderful time of year again, when ev- want to be the best anymore. Certainly the in-bathroom water W eryone converges on a sweltering campus looking fountains and pristine-to-the-point-that-I-always-lick-them- bronzed and beautiful. Girls can be seen wearing for-fun floors are nice, but using that rancid restroom just ain't "This makes me vomit." 100 Years Ago short shorts, mini-skirts and the occasional bikini - save, the same blissful pleasure it once was. ND's maintenance staff -student buying course packets On Fashionable Headwear of course, for that contingent of ladies unique to places like poured buckets of turpentine, blood and tears into making in LaFortune BYU, ND and Kabul who dress year-round as if the Taliban that facility the swankiest privy this side of the Vatican, and This weekend, as Notre Dame welcomes visiting Michi were in charge of campus. These girls would don shorts only they are rewarded with the smell of a tailgating Porta-Potty? gan supporters, students will likely remember the courte if Jesus himself, surrounded by angelical babes in G-strings, A damn shame, I tell you. "This game is huge. Everyone is so excited they are even drinking ously thrown hard-boiled eggs, spilled beers and spewed caffeine." descended from heaven smoking a fat stogie and demanding As if this weren't evidence enough to show that ambition is anti-Catholic epithets that marked Wolverine hospitality a to see some skin. overrated, just consider bad music. While many good bands -overhead BYU cameraman year ago. But in 1904 it was another Big Ten university that I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Steve, and flame out faster than Right Said Fred, groups like BonJovi and precipitated the decline of Western civilization. I am a senior and a sex god. This means I mayor may not be Journey - who both produced beautiful garbage - get to see From the October 15, 1904 Scholastic editorial section: as good in bed as Jim from American Pie. So if you are a lovely their songs inspire sloppy tongue gymnastics between Boat "Henceforth the area ofa man's capillary adornment will remain "I'm so easy." lady or any soft, furry mammal, feel free to stop by 610 North Club's bikers, strippers, college students and, when the moon unsurveyed to the public eye ... .[The upper classmen at the Uni -anthropology professor St. Peter Street for a full tour - all expenses and sexual favors is full and the squirrels are mating, any combination of the versity ofMinnesota] have agreed that uncovering the head in the paid. above. And mother-loving ABBA inspired a popular Broadway open air is a menace to health in the winter and a nuisance during all other seasons; so a mere encounter in public with a female of But I digress. Moving back for the fall semester reminds me musical. Need I say more? ' of why I love Notre Dame. Maybe it's just the ethanol fumes Yes. Set your expectations unbelievably low and you will find "I've never needed money because I've never had it. I grew up middle one's acquaintance will no longer be a signal for dignified doffing. class." Hereafter a polite nod will be deemed a courteous acknowledge mixed with the Zoloft/Nyquil/Viagra cocktail I imbibe each yourself incessantly overjoyed as your everyday life trumps -overheard student on South Quad ment of a lady's presence, - anything further will be considered night that make me think this, but I feel an energy on campus your wildest dreams. obsequious or foppisH? that arises from the tremendous individuals who sustain a uni - Ifyou expect to wake up every day next to a rat-tailed, acne- There was no .mention of placing a raincoat over a puddle versity striving to be the best in everything - except maybe covered, 257 -pound little person of indeterminate gender for a lady; this practice is likely aggravated foppery. football, where - according to Athletic Director Kevin White named Jo, then any old-land beast or drunken slob will look '''Yet' has to be the worst word in the English language." _ we simply seek "discernable progress." like Brad Pitt or Mandy Moore - even ifhe or she more closely -journalism professor -Erik Powers Initially this humbling commentary on the football program resembles Michael Moore. ' bothered me, but while contemplating White's statement I Ifyou expect to spend your life eating from KFC's dumpsters, arrived at a brilliant realization: .As a school of over- __-__._.... then that weird sugar-free gelatin product in SDH will not achievers, we are setting our expectations way too high. only seem palatable, it will taste like a dessert fit for Kirstie Adopting incredibly low expectations is the real path to Alley. Ifyou never expect to slake your thirst with anything Guess we should have left happiness. better than Mad Dog, then - never mind - I may never this one to the engineers: Here I present you an argument so incoherent it would stop drinking that sweet nectar even if! make more money A banner congratulating make Johnnie Cochran cringe: than God and Donald Trump combined. Arts and Letters graduates Often reaching the pinnacle of achievement just Basically, by convincing myself each day that today hangs upside down outside isn't rewarding. Remember a couple years back my dog will be eaten by rabid weasels, Gary Busey O'Shaughnessy Hall this fall. .when the restroom on the first floor of the Main will lead a party of hungry cannibals in a raid on Building was ranked best in the entire world? campus, Monk will move in as rector of my house Seriously. It sure was nite't~ see that polished and I will be roofied and simultaneously taken ad- ND tile floor lauded worldwide, but recently vantage of by Michael Jackson and the outgoing something has gone terribly wrong. governor of New Jersey, I go through life happier You see, when a restroom is voted best in the then all of you combined. entire solar system, everyone and his mullet- Just keep that in mind all you ambitious freshmen coiffed, hermaphrodite aunt-uncle visiting for worried about maintaining a 4.0 GPA. Lowering ex- the weekend wants to park his andlor her behind pectations to absurd levels is not merely a novel idea, on the royal throne. For that reason, the facility it just may revolutionize life as we know it. So please now always houses four pairs of feet under stall excuse me - I have to go prepare for an exciting doors and a noxious olfactory wave that could weekend of watching Walke]; Texas Ranger reruns kill a herd of llamas. and eating 3-pound bags of Martin's brand cheese If that's what being the best is, then I don't puffs~ 0

36 SCHOLASTICHUMOR 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICHUMOR 37

- '. ~": . '. ~- '. --' '" ,. ---. -~~--~----- . ------~ -

Great Expectations? Ditch 'Ern

STEVEMATTINGLY

36 SCHOLASTICHUMOR 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 SCHOLASTICHUMOR 37

- '. ~": . '. ~- '. --' '" ,. ---. -~~--~----- . ------See.o_od ',A~nnDal Noire DalDe ' .. , " " '1 -, : • -. L ••• • .. .' .•••• "'; ...... '. .t:', '.·4 (&:00 p.m. -10:00 a~mw) More RelevantThan a Grading Scale Stepan 'C8ntfW Find out if you're a man ,:. _. .JI .. '" . ill ,.",. . " _ _ _',.If. _ ,'.., , :'" MIKEHEALY ' ').~' '~'~"". "~' ;7.~• :' _ _. • • _' 1 ..... _ _ '.' •••• • __ !,. :" _ _ _ . erhaps the most obsequious sigh t on campus durmg· ture, White Snake, having a bad back, using a sledgehammer. Pthe first week of school is that of scattered lumber and (NOTE: Indiana]ones would comprise a much higher category pieces of lofts. I myself contributed to the prep onder- of masculinity were it not for the fact that Dr.]ones a) is afraid II I. ance of elevated bedding structures, and I must say, it worked of snakes, and b) sometimes wears glasses.) i I out rather nicely. The most rewarding part of the whole ex- Burt Reynolds (highest rating) - Fighting (bears), talking

I perience came, surprisingly enough, about drywall, trucks, moustaches, I'I ( when the loft was at last completed. r------::-:------. motorcycles, dense, intimidating As I stood over my creation, covered chest hair, spitting, being alum- in sweat, sawdust and the tattered berjack, kicking things (not karate remains of my Muppet Show tank kicking), yelling at people. top, my roommate Kenton said that So you see, as a person you do not I "looked tall and strong, like a man have a set level of manliness, but should look." instead partake in different actions My first reaction to this (aside throughout your life, each having from feeling thankful that our lofts a different level of manliness. For are separated by a decent amount of instance, although my masculinity space) was to realize that this state- is suppressed somewhat by the fact ment was, in fact, true. I resembled that I am afraid of snakes (Indiana all the finest characteristics of Bob ] ones) and do not know as much Vila and Gore Vidal, and wondered about drywall as I should (please aloud whether nature had ever be- don't tell anyone), I do enjoy yelling fore born witness to such a titan of at people, and I did kick something testosterone as myself. once. After a short while, replete with In order to prevent the few people .~.! -, self-admiration and quasi-intimida- I know who read this from becoming SEN'IOR PORTRAITS! tion, I came to the conclusion that upset with me, I would just like to the only way to determine my true state that the Healy Index of Mas- Sign,:Upon the Internet NOW @ level ofmasculinity was to construct culinity is a purely subjective tool. www; LaurenStudios.com what I like to call the Healy Index of A high rating is not "good," just as Masculinity (HIM). Essentially, the a low rating is not "bad." There are to ensure your place in your way HIM works (I know it sounds awkward, but it's for science) " good things on the Haim' end of the scale, such as nail polish 2005' Dome Yea.rbook! is through the input of a variety of acts and a description of (when a prom date wears it for decoration), just as things at their relative manliness to an appropriate public figure. The the Reynolds end of the spectrum can be bad, like moustaches WHO:: Class of 2005 HIM encompasses a broad spectrum (a wide spectrum, not a (such as when the same prom date wears one for decoration). spectrum for broads), ranging from Boy George (least manly) Furthermore, one should not let his life goals be determined by WHEN: Pictures taken to Burt Reynolds (manliest). If you wish to get a better grasp which end of the HIM he is trying to reach, but should let his until Sept. 17 of the HIM in action, here is a small sampling: life goals direct his orientation on the HIM continuum. Thus, Corey Haim (low HIM rating) - Tea parties, nail polish, if it is your lifelong dream to one day become a lumberjack, it WHERE: LaFortune 108 deliberately scratching someone, ballet, Waiting to Exhale, be- would be wise to work towards the Burt Reynolds ideal. If you WHY:' To be in the 2005 ing a girl. really wanted to deliberately scratch someone, it would behoove Cory Feldman (mid-level rating) - Sitting down, stand- you to be as Haim-like as possible. DOme ing, eating dinner, Archie comics, liking R.E.M., disliking There you have it, the definitive way to gauge your true R.E.M. level of manliness. I always knew God put me on this Earth Remember to Sign Up Today! Richard Greico (moderately high rating) - Drywall, cigarette, with a greater purpose in mind, and I know now that it was to smoking, sport participation, getting punched in the face, dogs, reveal this - the HIM - to you, the adoring masses. Having WWW.' chasing women, lumber, sparse chest hair. accomplished this task at long last, I shall sleep well tonight, Indiana Tones (high rating) - Fighting (humans), sport perched high above the Earth on the Loft of Man. 0' watching, exceeding the speed limit, swearing, flannel, na- LaurenStudios.com

38 SCHOLASTICHUMOR 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 - ~ - .' ~,' J ',- • ~ " ,-- • • ....'. -. _. ~~ _ ...... ~ ___ ~__ _ See.o_od ',A~nnDal Noire DalDe ' .. , " " '1 -, : • -. L ••• • .. .' .•••• "'; ...... '. .t:', '.·4 (&:00 p.m. -10:00 a~mw) More RelevantThan a Grading Scale Stepan 'C8ntfW Find out if you're a man ,:. _. .JI .. '" . ill ,.",. . " _ _ _',.If. _ ,'.., , :'" MIKEHEALY ' ').~' '~'~"". "~' ;7.~• :' _ _. • • _' 1 ..... _ _ '.' •••• • __ !,. :" _ _ _ . erhaps the most obsequious sigh t on campus durmg· ture, White Snake, having a bad back, using a sledgehammer. Pthe first week of school is that of scattered lumber and (NOTE: Indiana]ones would comprise a much higher category pieces of lofts. I myself contributed to the prep onder- of masculinity were it not for the fact that Dr.]ones a) is afraid II I. ance of elevated bedding structures, and I must say, it worked of snakes, and b) sometimes wears glasses.) i I out rather nicely. The most rewarding part of the whole ex- Burt Reynolds (highest rating) - Fighting (bears), talking

38 SCHOLASTICHUMOR 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 - ~ - .' ~,' J ',- • ~ " ,-- • • ....'. -. _. ~~ _ ...... ~ ___ ~__ _ .. Thursday New Beginnings by Rev. Edward Malloy, C.S.C. 10pmND St

am genuinely excited as we begin another music and dance, for bull sessions and for quiet Stay I ~ Ischool year together. This is my first year as walks around the lake. president of the university, and I feel a spe -Get to know and be known by the BREW Watch cial affinity with those students and faculty who faculty and the head staff in the dorms. The have joined the Notre Dame family for this first passage from adolescence to young adulthood is time. In one sense, Notre Dame is a large and full of challenges of all kinds. Sometimes one's complex institution - we have over 100 build life goals are unclear. Relationships flourish ings, 9,400 total students, 900 faculty members and then wane. Friends get sick and relatives and 1,200 staff and administrative employees. die. Your journey is unique in its own way, but ... Friday Saturday.. The campus spreads out over 1,700 acres, and we others have faced similar challenges and might are the second most popular tourist attraction even have a bit of wisdom to pass on to you. Take in the state of Indiana. the initiative and say hello or stop by for a chat. 12 4am Nightclub dancing But there is another side to Notre Dame - its The seemingly callous professor or rector might soul if you will. This soul is constituted by the turn out to be a lifelong friend. network of friendships formed, by the dedica -Don't settle for a childlike faith or leave tion of gifted minds to the search for truth, by religious commitment at the periphery of your the vitality of the worship throughout the year, consciousness and concern. The dorm chapel, and by the deep loyalty of its graduates who Sacred Heart Church, the Grotto ~ these sites return so readily for visits. This is the Notre of devotion and prayer provide the opportunity Dame of hallowed professors, beloved rectors for regular participation with the community of and secretaries who care. Each of us is a part faith. This is an essential component of Chris of this reality for better or for worse. It is a tian discipleship, but there is more to it than sacred trust which we all that. A Catholic university is an ideal place to bear a responsibility to ponder the Scriptures, to become familiar with Do not settle for the given ness preserve. the doctrine and practices of the Church and of things. Imagine and work for a I will surely be feeling to confront the perplexing questions of con my way in the months temporary life. Furthermore, the Center for better universe and (I might add) ahead. Don't be sur Social Concerns offers social service projects of an improved Notre Dame. prised to discover some all kinds. Whether you make an Urban Plunge, stupid mistakes or some tutor a grade schooler, visit the elderly or spend seeming insensitivities. I, and all of us in the ad a prolonged period in theThird World, you.will This essay appeared ministration, will endeavor to stay in touch and be cultivating a heightened sense of responsi in the Aug. 21, 1987 to foster a spirit of open communication. Com bility for the quality of life of your neighbor in issue ofScholastic. munityis always a difficult achievement and it need. At that time Father requires cooperation from all participants. -Finally, take a few risks. The biblical Malloy was beginning In particular, to those of you who are students, author assigns to the young the challenge of his first year as Notre I would like to offer a few words of encourage dreaming new worlds. Do not settle for the Dame's president. ment and advice: givenness of things. Imagine a~d work for a -Keep struggling to find a healthy bal better universe and (I might add) an improved ance between study and leisure, culture and Notre Dame. Do not be a prisoner ofyour major, recreation. Education is a serious endeavor. your career plans or even your parents' expecta It requires self-discipline and drive. Indeed, tions. You have come here to learn how to think millions throughout the world envy your op more clearly, how to clarify your values and how portunity. Take full advantage of the resources to makea difference. There is no better time to here - the concerts and plays, the Snite, the begin than this year. lectures and symposia, the games, the clubs and I hope that I can come to know many of you the student government. At the same time, there personally this year. Together we can build a is a legitimate place for fun and celebration, for greater Notre Dame. 0

40 SCHOLASTICFINAL WORD 09 SEPTEMBER 2004 .. Thursday New Beginnings by Rev. Edward Malloy, C.S.C. 10pmND St

40 SCHOLASTICFINAL WORD 09 SEPTEMBER 2004