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1-1987

Klipsun Magazine, 1987, Volume 18, Issue 02 - January

Therese McRae Western Washington University

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Recommended Citation McRae, Therese, "Klipsun Magazine, 1987, Volume 18, Issue 02 - January" (1987). Klipsun Magazine. 92. https://cedar.wwu.edu/klipsun_magazine/92

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CONTENTS

RAINIER'S IMAGE The creative minds behind Rainier’s offbeat advertising. WOMEN'S CREW Competitive rowing is both difficult and rewarding ...... , for Western women. . GREAT A descent into the depths of gastronomic heil. 14 STEVE Iargent Mmi The Seahawks’ wide receiver talks about family and religion. dREssiNq up

Femaie impersonators discuss their alter egos. '.'.■51 20 dRuqs.. “Just saying no” may no longer be your choice. 25 collEqE lifE ,w

Tips from a veteran on making it through “the college experience.” 25 coMic books s ‘ ^ As the comic book matures, superheroes get tougher. 28 uiuoHnwMMptinHy READ This Frequently i '* 1, Take ewe of your aijht; upon it depend! much of your safety and auo- oesS in Kfe. 2, Always your up when you read. * . 3. Hold your.book fourteen inchea from your face. auie that the light ii clear and good. 5w Never read in the twili^t; in a mov­ ing car; or in « reclining poaition. ook. Jas Lichtbandei^jhih 7. Never lace the light ia 'reaifing. ligl t| 8. Let the, light come from behind you ' or over your left shoulder. . 9. Avoid books or papers printed indisU inctly or in small type. 10. Rett yoor eyes frequendy ^y looking away from the book. 11. Oeanse your eyes night and morning -with pure water. 12. Never rub your eyes with your hands, ' or an towel, hai^kerohief or cloth. Set Miler, painttr, artilt

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January 1987 Volume 18, no.2 T A F F

Editor: THERESE McRAE Staff: JEFF BRAIMES Adviser: PETE STEFFENS Klipsun magazine is printed by the WWU Print Plant, published twice BRENDA DCW quarterly out of College Hall 137, Managing Editor: JEFF KEELING BILL FREEBERG Special thanks to Robert Western Washington University, Bel­ lingham, WA 98225, (2067) 676-3737. KEVEN GRAVES Embrey, Kurt Wells for Klipsun is supported by student fees and is distributed free. Story Editor: ANDY PERDUE MIKE GWYNN extra cheese, Talking CLAY MARTIN Heads for inspiration, THCMAS MCSBY Western Print Plant, Bob Photo Editor: LAURA TCWEY Guettler, Pete Kendall, DONNA SIMON-COCKERHAM Ric Selene. Design/Layout: Klipsun is a Lummi Indian word JEFF BRAIMES Typesetter: JACKIE SOLER meaning beautiful sunset. MIKE GWYNN LISATRIESCH Business Manager: Copyright 1987 by Klipsun. THERESE McRAE CATHY CARTER JEFF KEELING Front cover photo by Donna Simon-Cockerham Back cover art by Bob Guettler Klipsun 3

USING By Jeff Keeling

ver the years, many sightings of an elusive creature native to the Northwest have been reported. The two-legged beast also Ohas thwarted numerous ''safaris'' and other cam­ paigns to capture it. In recent years, it has been spotted in Colorado, Utah and the Dakotas. The creature is the wild Rainier, one of the pillars of the Rainier Brewing Company's advertising campaign since 1974. That year, Jim Foster, the company's advertising manager since 1970, hired Heckler Associates, a local agency owned and run by Terry Heckler. Heckler, working with Foster and Rainier's in- house, or staff, agency, has been the creative force behind well over 100 television, as well as numer­ ous radio advertisements, or "spots" in advertising lingo. Priorto 1974, Rainier relied on national advertis­ ing agencies, and churned out typical beer com­ mercials. Instead of herds of thundering wild Rain- iers, or families with big red "Rs " growing from their heads (the "R-heads," as opposed to the cone- heads), viewers saw stylish easterners sipping Rain­ ier in posh settings and extolling the virtues of Its full flavor. Humor was not an element, nor was any of the zany irreverence that trademarks the Heckler spots. Terry Heckler described the campaigns before his as "hops-and-grains type of stuff. The 1972 campaign had some slogan like 'Rainier's got the flavor.' " In 1974, the brewery formed its own in-house Foster is a professional-looking, warmly recep­ agency, with Foster as president. An Aberdeen, tive man in his mid-40s. In his office are framed Wash., native and University of Washington busi­ pictures of an early Heckler-era ad with Mickey ness graduate, Foster said the previous agencies, Rooney and Boone Kirkman, an ex-heavyweight which were East Coast-based, ''didn't understand fighter from Renton. The two are shown in the the Northwest. They showed a total lack of sensitiv­ Cascades, hunting wild Rainiers with just "a net ity to what went on out here." and a bottle opener." Another picture shows Fos­ ter posing with Rooney. Rainier was using conventional advertising in an "I really liked the spots we did with Mickey Roo­ attempt to compete with national brands, such as ney," Foster said. Anheuser-Busch and Schlitz, which were begin­ The spot with Kirkman showed he and Rooney ning to dominate the market. tracking the wild Rainiers. After three days, they "The Northwest was one of the last strongholds finally spotted one of the seven-foot-tall, 85- to in regional brand loyalty," Foster explained. In the 90-gallon creatures. It evaded the net, and Kirk­ early 1970s, Olympia, Rainier, Lucky Lager and man, armed with a "specially constructed giant Heidelberg shared about 70 percent of the market. bottle opener," was unable to pop its top. They To penetrate the area, the national brands began did, however, manage to get a plaster cast of a fresh targeting it for heavy advertising. "Rainier realized footprint out of the adventure. at that time that its competition was with the national brands," Foster said. When working with these agencies proved too The Rooney spots ran in 1976, the same year expensive, in addition to being relatively unsuc­ Rainier took over the top market share in Washing­ cessful, Rainier established the in-house agency. ton from a lagging Olympia beer. While other Marketing Communications. Northwest brands faded. Rainier became the best­ One of the first things Foster did was hire selling beer in the region. During this time, it also Heckler, whose graphic design work for K-2, the expanded its market from primarily western Vashon Island ski company, had impressed him. Washington, and to a lesser degree other parts of "We liked their approach and thought it could the Northwest, to a number of other western states help Rainier establish a rather unique identity for such as Colorado, Utah, Alaska and Hawaii. itself," he said. "Heckler's rather unusual approach In the "Mountain Room" at the brewery is a to communications seemed to fit our objectives." commemorative beer barrel, with a plaque The relationship has continued successfully for beneath it commending Rainier's doubled pro­ 12years. Since 1978, Rainier has been owned by G. duction. Through a door at the end of the Moun­ Heilemann, a Wisconsin-based corporation that tain Room is "Beeraphernalia," Rainier's gift shop, oversees operations while the brewery continues where visitors can buy everything from T-shirts to a with little interference. Rainier golf bag, cribbage board or skis. Located just off the freeway south of downtown Most of the designs and concepts are creations Seattle, the brewery produces the equivalent of 31 of Heckler and Foster. Heckler Associates also does million cases of Rainier each year, along with the graphic design for Rainier, much of which smaller quantities of Rainier Ale and Rainier Light. appears in "Beeraphernalia." Uptown from the brewery. Heckler Associates "All that stuff Is the result of major agencies operates out of an unassuming, squat gray building working extremely hard to neutralize their stimuli near Seattle's Pier 70. Others of the company's so as not to alienate. So everybody else says, 'if the large accounts have included New Balance shoes, big guys do that, we should too.' " Jansport sportswear, and Ivar's seafood. One reason many ads seem aimed at a low level Heckler, 44, founded the agency in 1969. In col­ of intelligence, he said, is to make the viewer feel lege, he studied graphic design at Carnegie- superior, and that in feeling so, they remember the Mellon in Pittsburgh and attended graduate school product. at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, where he "I think there's better ways to do that that are a received a Masters In Applied Science. lot more direct," Heckler said. "Often we do things Tall and balding. Heckler has a quiet, rather on a more editorial basis," instead of patronizing deadpan demeanor that gives little hint of the zany the viewers with low-level material. creativity lurking just below the surface. Heckler's workspace is formed by high shelves Foster agreed this philosophy has been a key to on two sides, and the corner of the building on two Rainler's success. "I think the humor is different others, and commands a charmingly urban indus­ than the typical kind of humor," he said. "I think trial view of Pier 70 and the Alaskan Way Viaduct. they recognize that the consumer is an Intelligent In 1973, Foster asked the agency to work on some person, and doesn't have to be hit over the head special Rainier Ale projects. Based on the results. with a repetitive, redundant slogan or corny joke." Heckler Associates was given the full account. Heckler explained that advertising has its own After 13 years, the ads have risen to what is nearly vernacular, but that he tries to stay away from it a cult status in the Northwest, and people know to when possible, because he thinks it is stale. He said expect the bizarre from Rainier. Foster noted that ad copywriters are steeped in this language, which It took viewers a while to get used to the is why "I'd rather hire a journalist than ad commercials. copywriters." ''People initially were puzzled; they didn't know Heckler Associates brought a fresh outlook to what to think. Some thought It was totally insane. the advertising scene, and Heckler said apparently 'What had become of Rainier, had they taken leave it caught on, because "sales took off about a half- of their senses?' Others liked them, were amused year after we started." by them, started talking about them." Foster agreed. "Most people seemed to like the Surveys conducted In 1974, to learn which com­ ads, and sales began to respond, too, so it appeared pany's advertising viewers were most aware of, that it was working." indicated Rainier had gone from being very low- Sales indicated it was. The company experienced profile to having the most presence of any beer what Foster described as "rapid growth" (10-15 commercials on the air. percent annual gains) until the early 1980s, when Heckler knows the importance of making view­ that growth levelled off in tandem with the reces­ ers sit up and take notice. He believes many com­ sion. The rest of the beer industry has been flat mercials operate from a premise that anything too during these years, and even experienced far out will estrange much of their audience. declines, he added. Around mid-summer. Heckler and his staff begin generating ideas "based on the input I give them, which they sort of assimilate, and come up with ideas of their own," Foster said. He and Heckler meet around early fall and decide which ideas fit together best to achieve their specific goals for that season. After the ideas are chosen. Heckler makes "story boards" for the spots, which explain what will actually happen when the ad is shot, and writers on his staff create scripts for the spots.

One of Heckler's favorite spots showed a guy in a garage, wearing a lab coat. He points to different areas of the garage. Heckler said, showing all the things that can go wrong. "This is a leaky celling," the actor tells the viewer. "If you don't fix It, it can lead to dry rot." Pointing to another area of the ceiling, he con­ tinues, "This is dry rot." He turns his back to the camera, and the viewer sees a Rainier trademark on his jacket. He faces the camera, points his finger Rainier Advertising Manager Jim Foster. at the viewer, and asks, "What can you do about it? Ah, you'll think of something." Finally, a voice says, Heckler's creative genius has undoubtedly "Rainier has confidence in its customers. Rainier helped Rainier maintain its strong showing. has confidence In its product." The first television commercials were shot as a "I liked that one because it totally caught the group, and included the beer crossing spots, which viewer off guard," Heckler said. "This guy talks debuted the wild Rainlers. These showed a view about all the terrible things that can happen, and from a car, which passes a ''Beer Crossing" sign, then we say we have confidence in our product." while wild Rainiers amble across the highway, and After the scripts are written for the spots, they go a voice In the car says, "Hey, look at the beers." to G. Heilemann for further refinement, and early "All the bottles you see running around are usu­ the next year are put up for production and filming ally University of Washington frat guys, or crew or bids. football players. We'd like to issue them all ID Kaye-Smith Productions, a Seattle studio, has cards saying, 'I was a wild Rainier,"' Heckler said. produced many of the TV spots, including all dur­ Another commercial in this early group was the ing the last two years. Gary Noren, a 1974 Western frog spot, with frogs, crickets and other night-time visual communications education graduate, is part noisemakers chirping the words "Rainier," and owner of the studio, and films the spots. "beer." One of Noren's favorite spots he called "Get It Yourself, Bob." Ed Liembacher, a long-term Heckler cohort, conceived the idea, in which a fat, Another early effort Heckler called the "Hori­ middle-aged couch potato yells at his wife to get zontal Pour." Set in a restaurant, it shows a man him a Rainier Light, and she yells back, "Get it pouring a beer, which flows horizontally across the yourself. Bob!" screen to a glass held sideways by a woman about "We used an actress we found down in L.A. It three feet away. was a terrific concept, and poked fun at the macho "Actually," Heckler said, "her back is on the bullshit most light commercials were using at the floor, his Is on the celling," and the camera rotates time," Noren said. "It also poked fun at the macho to create the illusion that the beer Is flowing Image of males, and made the woman look great." sideways. Noren enjoys filming the Rainier commercials, A take-off from "Casablanca" was also among and said a primary reason is "the people I work the early spots, showing a Bogart impersonator with. Working with Heckler, Jim Foster, and peo­ ordering a Rainier, and requesting another with ple like Ed Liembacher putting together the spots Is the famous "Play it again, Sam" line. an enjoyable group experience, and 1 think we all The budget for these early efforts was relatively get a lot out of it." low. Heckler said, with comparative bids from a Los Angeles company running about three times as much. That budget hasn't changed a lot in the 13 Other than sales. Heckler's main goal for the TV years since the first spots, other than with inflation. spots is "to generate talk after viewing, as positive "I'd venture to say we're working with one-third talk as possible. of what Bud spends on their spots, ' Heckler said. "If you don't set out to make that one of your He estimated the average production cost of a goals, very rarely do you reach that," he said. conventional beer commercial to be $100,000, The commercials don't attempt to cultivate a while Rainier's typically run around $30,000. single image for Rainier drinkers, but instead try to Nonetheless, Foster said Rainier spends about $5 appeal to everyone. million a year on advertising. "We want to get people who realize that beer is Over the course of each year. Marketing Com­ an enjoyable act of refreshment," Heckler said. munications staff accumulates ideas for spots from Because of their nature (sometimes poking fun a number of sources. They listen to and read many at things some of us take seriously), the Rainier ideas submitted by the public, and respond to commercials draw their share of criticism, but each. Heckler sees this positively. ''If you don't get that with some of your spots, added. When people support Rainier, It causes you're not advertising with authority," he said. Budweiser to pump more money into the state, "That's what we're in the business for, is to get creating what Heckler termed "a double positive emotional response." whammy." Sometimes the response is too negative. A spoof Heckler's Rainier commercials have won many on the Lawrence Welk show, with people playing awards, but he is unconcerned with them. "We Rainier bottles instead of horns, was taken off the never put them up for awards, because you have to air in Spokane after too many viewers complained pay to enter them. I don't put much credence in it was offensive. awards." "People really like Lawrence Welk over there," The success of the spots has spawned imitators, a he wryly noted. vivid example being the Olympia Artesian spots a A few other spots have received more criticism few years back. than the company felt comfortable with. One, Foster said beer ads didn't use much humor back showing an umpire jumping out of a refrigerator, In the mld-'70s, but "now, if you stop and think caused some alarm among parents who worried about it, almost everyone is into some form of kids might be encouraged to get into refrigerators. humor." "Any time anyone does anything humorous, "You gotta rub up against some of the edges, they compare it to the Rainier spots," Heckler and you don't know if you're rubbing up against noted. He denied the spots being created exclu­ the right edges unless you're hearing that stuff; so sively for humor, however. we get a little nervous if we don't hear people "We don't use 'let's be funny' as an operating complaining." premise. What happens is that, hopefully, they're novel, and the human response to novelty is a smile." Heckler and crew have come up with a number of ideas they know can't go on the air. A demoli­ The Rainier spots have created many smiles over tion derby commercial, with giant beer cans on the years, and Heckler has a fairly simple philo­ wheels slamming into each other — "It's a total foa- sophy for creating new ideas. Ideas come from mout!" bellows the announcer—originally was information, he said, so he and his staff pack them­ planned to use beer trucks rather than cans, but selves with information, then brainstorm, coming worries about drinking-and-driving implications up with "a combination of group and individual changed the plan. "That's the way it should have ideas." been shot (with beer trucks)," Heckler said. Heckler identified two different modes of think­ Foster also recalled a take-off on "The Waltons" ing among his staff. "One throws out information, that received a lot of criticism. the other puts it together into Ideas." "We found that we don't take on wholesome However, judgment must be deferred until after family shows, even if they deserve it," he laughed. brainstorming, he said. The staff slowly develops a "It wasn't really offensive, I didn't think, but some list of ideas and eliminates some until they come people chose to." up with something that works. Foster couldn't pinpoint a particular spot as his "A lot of people think we're a bunch of wigged- favorite, but has been impressed with the technical out dudes, but the truth is you gotta come up with expertise in a few. "The one where the bottle caps the ideas when you gotta come up with the ideas," fell like dominoes and formed a giant "R" to the Heckler said. song 'You're the Tops'," was an example of this. He had one final message for area readers. "If "Most of the wild Rainier spots I liked," Foster you're old enough to drink beer, drink Rainier." added. As long as the wild Rainlers exist in their native habitat, quests to capture them will likely continue, though Noren said "you'll have to wait until next One spot that surprised Foster with its success year to find out." He added none have been cap­ showed a large motorcycle roaring down the highway toward the camera. After It whizzes by, tured, though "I have some hidden in a ware­ the engine whines out "Raaaaaiiil- house, where no one can find them. fin neeeeeeer-Beeeeeeeeer." "I never thought (the commercial) would Kendall

become what it did. It seemed to appeal to every­ one from infants to grandparents," Foster said. "You hear kids repeating it today, and it hasn't Peter been on the air in years." The cycle spot was shot on a highway south of Auburn, and most other spots are shot on location In the Northwest or in area studios. A few have been shot in California because of inclement local weather. "With a name like Rainier," Foster said, "It's inescapably linked to the Northwest, and so we've tried to emphasize that, and It does have some positive imagery and appeal. It's still the cleanest, purest region in the country." Heckler is happy that "Bud is pumping enor­ mous amounts of dollars into this state because of Rainier, probably 10 times the amount they would normally spend. "What makes me feel good is the sales results, and the fact that Bud Is really held to a second position In this state is an important factor," he Terry Heckler of Heckler Associates. t is a typical/wet, gray, winter Suddenly, torrents of rain drench r afternoon on the shores of them, but there is little time for I Lake Samish. A chili wind complaint. All concentration is ' whips over the water, bending it centered on putting the boat into ripples. It numbs the hands of safely into the water. Veight struggling figures carrying a The coxswain shouts a com­ ;#im-hulled boat on their mand, The leader of this crew of shoulders to a dock that juts out eight, responsible for steeringthe into the lake. The Western boat and directing the pace to be women's crew team is preparing rowed, shouts a command. Each fpr another three-hour practice. rower grabs wooden handles .-'■?4Wain up!" insidethe hull, and they swing the iAt the ^leader's command to vessel down to their waists. Cau­ ' stop, the grunting procession tiously, they shuffle to the edge of ■i comes to a halt where the dock the dock and gently place the egins. boat, or ''shell," into the water. Okay, up and over your heads, Seemingly indifferent to the eady, UP!" rain, the rowers scamper back up A balancing routine occurs as the trail to outfit their boat with the women raise the 300-pound oars. vessel over their heads and pros "Swing it!" ceed slowly onto the slick dock. Another wooden shell is turned

■ out of the boathouse and slowly trundled down the trail. Looking like pall bearers, some of the novice (first-year) members suck in their breaths as the weight causes their shoulders to sag. ''This thing weighs a ton/' someone grunts. Nobody replies to this statement of the obvious as the procession shuffles to the dock. Thus begins a typical turnout for the crew team. While most other collegiate sports are sea­ sonal, Western crew is a year-long committment. Five-day-a-week turnouts start in October and continue through winter. Spring heralds the racing season, and turnouts are increased to six days a week to fine-tune rowers' techniques. Turnouts are demanding. Members put in an average of three hours a day, alternating rowing, running, weight lifting, aerobicexercising, and practicing techniques on an indoor rowing machine, or ergometer. One of the more painful out­ door rituals practiced by the women's team is a five-minute, fully clothed "float" scheduled for October in frigid Lake Samish. In addition to serving as a swim test, the float is also a sort of initia­ tion rite that makes novices full- fledged members of the team. Crew members will row In rain, Novice coach Allison Dey. snow, ice, darkness—about any­ thing except lightning. shell (called a "novice eight"). crowd of sweatsuit-clad women This year, more novices tried The stroke oar Is the rower sitting making their way to the out for the team than ever before, nearest the stern (the rear of the boathouse. and although the ranks have boat) who, with guidance from Inside, organized chaos reigns thinned since the first day, 50 the coxswain, sets the rhythm and as coxswains shout for help in lift­ rowers still show up. In spite of cadence of the strokes. ing the boats off the storage racks the strenuousness, members "You have the really bad days and carrying them to the water. claim the rewards are many. and really good ones," she con­ Other rowers grab the 11-foot "You learn to push yourself so tinues. "There's just that feeling oars and lean them against a fence hard," says Heather Jenkel, driv­ when everything goes just right, near the docks. Once the shells ing to the lake. Jenkel, a sopho­ and you're flying over the water, are in the water, rowers slide the more, is a novice on this year's feelin' good . . . There's a really oars into oar locks, and the boats team. good fellowship on the team and are ready for another day on the "Sometimes you find yourself there's no room to be lazy." lake. wondering, 'How much more can Varsity coach Barry Galls Novice coach Allison Dey is I give?' If you stop rowing, or slow agreed. deciding which novices will row down, you let (your teammates) "It's not a hardship, it's plea­ in each boat. Varsity, those rowers down. I love it, though. sant. We like it; it's fun, it's enjoy­ returning from the year before, "I turned out last year for three able. They wouldn't be doing it if are already on the lake. Once Dey days, but I knew I didn't have the they didn't like it." finishes designating rowers, she time to make the committment. jenkel arrives at Camp Luther- and Galls have time for a short This year I just decided to go for it wood, a Christian campground team meeting. and do it. If I didn't, I knew I'd where Western's boat house is Outside, there is an ominous regret it for the rest of my life." located. She parks her car on the sound of rainfall, and rowers zip jenkel rows the "stroke" posi­ gravel driveway, pulls out her up their raingear. Everyone walks tion on a novice eight-person raingear and follows the small down to the lake.

Klipsun 11 Dey, clad in rubber pants and of their hands coming off their "You're still at 20!" she yells at a jacket, follows the women to the bodies and their knees coming up lagging boat. "Let's bring it up! dock and climbs into her own the slide." Faster!" engine-equipped boat. For three Rowers sit on seats that slide The vessels glide over the hours, she will follow the fleet of forward and backwards on water, which Is now smooth as a human-powered boats, shouting grooved tracks. When stroking sheet of glass. Sometimes the instructions and encouragement. with the oar, the rower can put muted voice of a coxswain can be Now a senior, Dey is a non-paid more power into each stroke by heard urging her rowers on, but volunteer coach. She competed pushing explosively down with the only constant sounds are that as a varsity member for four years the legs and pulling the oar back. of oars cutting through water and until her athletic eligibility When the oar is pushed forward, hulls hissing as they plane over expired. Now, she puts in more the rower slides back up the the lake's surface. The women than 20 hours a week turning out tracks. row in unison, their fluid move­ with the team and designing work­ "Wain up!" ments propelling the needle-like outs. She had to drop half her At Dey's command, the fleet of boats forward. classes to find time for the job. four shells slows and stops. Like many other rowers who Dey brings her boat into their Times like these, when the devoted a large portion of their midst, shouting instructions. They shells speed over the water and college careers to crew, she have to learn to roll their hands the rowers move together in a found she couldn't cut away that more effectively, she says, so she shared rhythm, crew members part of her life after her eligibility wants them to row with their claim are the most rewarding expired. Coaching offered a way inside hand only. moments of their sport. of remaining a part of the team, The rowers nod, but no one "It's just a feeling. Your boat is and with the large group of new seems to have the energy to perfectly set (balanced), and you rowers this year, a novice coach respond. Shoulders sag and hands can hear bubbles flowing under was badly needed. stiffen in the cold evening air. your boat and you're feeling Dey gives the command to good. It only happens two or ''I really do feel like I majored start, and watches their progress three times a year, but you live for in crew," she says, smiling. across the rippling lake. The rain that. You just remember those As a first-year coach, she has has stopped, and a beam of sun­ really good feelings," says Betsy some ideas on how she would like light cuts through the scudding Bower, a varsity member. to organize the turnouts. clouds. Bower, a senior, has been row­ ''There's a lot of different "Bring it up, Kirsten!" she yells ing since her sophomore year. coaching styles. I do want to be a at a rower who's slowing down. Shefinished that season rowing in demanding coach, but I also want "Thingsshould be getting more the national championships in the a personal relationship with other efficient," she says to herself. varsity lightweight division. Since women on the team. I feel like I "Wain up!" then, she has rowed on a regional haven't been as tough as I'm The boats stop again, and Dey team that competed internation­ going to be, though," she says shouts the next command to the ally In Canada. She is considering with a chuckle. crew. Today they will row the competing nationally after "Some of them need to get length of the lake, which they graduating. their timing down—my God," she have never done before. She describes the differences says, watching a novice eight's Rowers must sprint at intervals, between crew and other team rowers struggling to get their oars rowing more than 20 strokes per sports. In the water at the same time. minute. Dey will time them. "In high school, I always made Thirty to 34 strokes per minute is the team, (basketball, softball and "These boats need some help," the pace required to be competi­ cross country), but I never con­ she observes. "Watch the speed tive in a race, she says. tributed to the team," she said. ''Crew is totally different. The "Races never feel good. During However, once the racing sea­ best thing about it is there's no the past two years. I've been the son begins and the lineups in the stars. You all have to work stroke. I feel very responsible if boats have been established, together. I really felt like I was we don't do well ... If I didn't most rowers stay on, says Coach part of the team." give 100 percent, I felt like I letthe Galls. Most of Western's rowers begin team down. Before a race, I just "Most people, if they've gotten their careers with no previous try and calm myself down. With that far into the season, plan on rowing experience. "You're all crew, that pressure Is exaggerated rowing In the spring. Quitting starting off at the same level. You that much more. I don't even doesn't happen that often by always have a chance/' she says. remember the races. I don't even then," he says. know who we rowed next to Bower describes the begin­ sometimes." If Galls finds there are some nings of her own crew career. rowers who aren't enjoying Upon making the varsity team in Of her teammates, she says, themselves, he often tells them to the spring of her sophomore year, "We're friends off the water, too. stay on a while longer, and if they she rowed the "two seat" (the We have road trips (to races) and still are unhappy, to quit. second seat in the bow, or front, there's lots of teasing back and But "by the time racing season of the boat) and had to get to forth." starts, I wouldn't discourage peo­ know the eight other women in She added that many crew ple then. You don't really want to her boat. When a varsity boat is members, after spending so much lose them." established, those eight rowers time together in practice, room Galls stresses that most women and coxswain must work together together as well. That is why It is who are on the varsity team usu­ for the rest of the season, fine- very difficult for everyone when a ally return. tuning their racing technique member of an established boat "It's just like anything else. You while learning to cope with each has to quit the team. get really attached to it. For most other. "It's really hard," Bower says people, the most important "You have the best times with quietly. "(Your teammates) are aspect is being on a team, having the people in your boat. And your hurting just as much as you." those friendships. Also being worst times," she said. "You Once the long daily turnouts competitive and fit. never know when it will happen." are gone from the crew member's "If you're working well Some of the worst times she life, "you lose a big part of your together, it doesn't matter If you remembers came during races. social circle." win or lose." nn Perdue

Andy

Klipsun 13 LITE IJi THE fast-food JiAHE By Andy Perdue

t isn't as though cooking is a problem, but cream of mushroom soup and a diet Shasta cola for whenever I walk Into my kitchen intending to breakfast. Once, however, I warmed a chicken pot create a meal, I begin thinking of the Domino's pie for breakfast, only to find it was too hot to eat IPizza telephone number. when I brought it out of the oven. So, I put it in the After my three-plus years at Western, I should freezer to cool, and fell asleep. be a famous — at least a household — name at that It's amazing what a freezer can do to a hot establishment. For all the times I've dialed those chicken pot pie in an hour. seven magic digits and opened my wallet for that By the second warming, the glop inside the foil instant dinner in a box, Domino's could finance a dish had little texture and no taste. new wing for its downtown location. Another time, I decided to attempt my own ver­ Cory, my roommate of two years, usually just sion of Campbell's Chunky Soup. You know, the shakes his head and mutters something about bar­ tough decision between a fork and a spoon. barism whenever he sees the pizza delivery person It was near the end of spring quarter and I had a at the door. Of course, Cory rarely calls for pizza. shelf full of canned soup. I arrived home hungry He enjoys cooking so much that sometimes I really early one morning, so I got out three cans of soup believe he would like nothing more than to spend — split pea, chicken noodle and cream of shrimp his afternoons over the proverbial hot stove. — and mixed them together. Heck, I figured that Once, in high school, Cory and I went camping. was all they did to make the chunky soup. It was out in the trees and stuff, and once the dozen or so McDonald's cheeseburgers I brought were gone, I was struggling for food. Cory, being the My version of Eagle Scout he is, made a lemon meringue pie. He doesn't fit the cook stereotype, though. He's cooking is a bit pretty lean and doesn't look like he eats much of what he fixes. I, however, am built like a cook, or at like a battle zone: least somebody who enjoys huge amounts of a search-and- edibles. We're talking Body by Burger King. destroy mission My idea of cooking is a can of My-Te-Fine I that finishes as an tomato soup during commercials interrupting M*A*S*H or The Odd Couple. I've set speed all-consuming war records for heating the stuff. Usually, the only problem I have at times like this is deciding of attrition. whether to use water or milk to make the soup. And that depends on how close the milk is to its However, this assumption proved incorrect. My expiration date. stomach rebelled — something it doesn't often do Aside from simple items like the aforementi­ — and I had to make a quick sacrifice to the porce­ oned soup, a piece of toast, or maybe a Skipper's lain god. all-you-can-eat blitzkrieg, my version of cooking is But my first and greatest step toward domestica­ a bit like a battle zone: a search-and-destroy mis­ tion came and went a couple of years ago while I sion that finishes as an all-consuming war of was working in Port Townsend. The experience attrition. wasn't anything college had prepared me for, However, such a battle can be rather limited, since, for two years. I'd been weaned on SAGA depending upon the ammunition available. food. Upon moving to Port Townsend, I soon dis­ For example, last spring when I was low on funds covered it was missing the friendly Golden Arches, and trying to rid myself of canned food, I often had and didn't even have a Kentucky Fried Chicken.

January 14 In fact, the closest thing to fast food was a Thriftway. Then It began getting rather . . . uh . . . sticky. So I went grocery shopping. I had a cart, a list and "Add a half cup of milk and a quarter cup of coupons. I was ready for battle. Then I started butter or margarine." having flashbacks from the movie ''Mr. Mom,'' and I had to return to the grocery store, as I had failed suddenly realized just how frightening the to realize I would need ingredients other than women's lib movement really Is. what came in the box. Suddenly, turning a corner, I found Nirvana in Upon returning, I discovered the macaroni had the form of Western Family macaroni and cheese. molded itself into a lump. I soaked It a while The staple crop of the American college student. longer, but that didn't help. So, smashing it down The beautifully generic, red-white-and-blue box into another pan, I added the other Ingredients: leapt toward me, and only 29 cents apiece. the milk, margarine and "flavor packet." I purchased six, rushed home and began. Open­ I squashed and pummeled the mixture until it ing a box, I read the Instructions. formed a yellowish-orange, globulated mess that "Put macaroni into six cups of boiling water. smelled like macaroni and cheese but appeared to have been napalmed. I didn't care that it looked After 10 minutes, drain the macaroni." Cooking the macaroni went O.K., but when I like something a dog wouldn't sniff, figuring it all tipped the pot over the sink to drain the water, I gets mixed up when being digested anyway. dumped half of the macaroni with It. As I picked I dumped a bunch of salt on it, sat down with a the pasta out from around the drain, I wondered if Diet Coke and dug in. it wouldn't be less trouble to drive the 50 miles to Suddenly I remembered something from my Port Angeles In search of a Pizza Haven. childhood: I hate macaroni and cheese. nn

Klipsun 15 DONNA SIMON-COCKERHAM ore than 60,000 Seattle Seahawks fans outfoxing the defense and catching the ball. spring from their seats and throw their Dressed casually in a gray T-shirt and blue cotton hands in the air, cheering. The wave of pants, his hair still wet from his shower, Largent Mapplause echoing from the cement roof and walls stops by the administration building after practice of the Kingdome expresses their affection and for mandatory viewing of game films. admiration as another pass is caught by Seattle's Largent has caught hundreds of footballs in his blue-eyed boy, All-Pro wide receiver Steve 10-plus years with the Seahawks. He stands second Largent. to San Diego's Charlie Joiner on the NFL's all-time Largent hustles back to the Seahawk huddle, pass reception list. seemingly oblivious of the eruption from the This prolific record has earned Largent a domi­ stands. He is a compact 5-foot 11-inch, 190 pounds. nant share of the Seahawks' ''Marcus Nalley Most Short-cropped blond hair frames the intense Valuable Player" award. expression of concentration that never leaves his A silver helmet, emblazoned with the blue-and- face during a game. green Seahawk logo, sits atop the four-foot-high That concentration, combined with his elusive trophy as a salute to the players named on its brass way of darting around the field—first leaning one honor roll. The trophy, donated by Nalley Fine way then spinning the other—deceives even the Foods, a Seahawk sponsor, has been awarded most experienced defense. annually by a team member vote since 1976. ''I have good football instincts from having STEVE LARGENT 1977. played so long," Largent says. ''I try to stay in shape, STEVE LARGENT 1979. and play with a lot of confidence." STEVE LARGENT 1981. Largent pushes himself, refining those instincts STEVE LARGENT 1985. during daily practices with Seahawks in the Bubble, Ten years later, on Oct. 6,1986, in the Kingdome, the covered practice field. He is more consistent Largent broke the NFL record for consecutive than anyone in the National Football League at games with at least one reception. Game number 128 for Largent, against the San Diego Chargers, the 40-yard dash) he was not selected until the retired the mark set by Harold Carmichael of the fourth round of the NFL draft by the Houston Philadelphia Eagles during his career from 1972-1980. Oilers. Released on waivers after the final exhibition He says he didn't feel much pressure about the game, Largent was picked up by the Seahawks in a record. pre-season trade. Houston, showing a lack of fore­ ''There's a greater pressure just playing football, sight, swapped Largent for a 1977 eighth-round being in the season and trying to win while being draft pick. successful at your position," he drawls, his soft Sincethen, Largent has missed only three games. southern accent still discernible. He has played more games and scored more points Largent graduated from Tulsa University in 1976 than any other Seahawk player In history. with a degree in biology. During both his junior Stuffing a cookie in his mouth, he says he has and senior years, he led the nation in touchdown been fortunate to stay so healthy. "I don't have a catches, with 14 each season. But because of his special diet. I eat whatever I want. My wife hates small size and lack of speed (then 4.65 seconds in me for that," he laughs. His schedule during the season, which begins with training camp in mid-July and "ends hope­ fully after the Superbowl," is so hectic that he has only one day off—Tuesday. He devotes Tuesdays and evenings to his family. "Tuesday mornings I go to an aerobics class with my wife, Terry. Then usually we go out to lunch, shop,and do errands that wedon't havetimetodo the rest of the week. "Tuesday nights my son has been playing flag football, so we go to his games." Kyle, Largent's seven-year-old, plays for a team at the parochial school where he attends second grade. "It's a neat deal because they don't keep score," Largent says. "It's just a fun, free-for-all, backyard type of football game. I really had not intended to let him play any type of organized sports until he was older, but this is pretty loosely structured and just a lot of fun for him." Is Kyle following in Dad's long strides as a wide receiver? Largent laughs and shrugs. "He plays all the positions all over the field." Victory dinners after Kyle's games are celebrated at "some place you can get In and out of quickly with four kids." If the kids choose the place, "It's McDonald's every time," Largent says, grimacing. "I don't like McDonald's at all." He reserves Friday nights for "dates" with his high-school sweetheart and bride of nearly 12 years. "Usually, we just go out to dinner," he says. "Then maybe we'll go get dessert somewhere. Maybe go for a walk, or shop together—that's a lot of fun." Largent says it's hard for them to be anonymous in Seattle, but not bothersome enough to make them want to stay home all the time. "People for the most part are real sensitive. They're not overbearing or rude. They do bother us a little bit, sometimes." With an occupation that takes him away from home nearly every Sunday during football season, Largent often misses one of the staples of his life— church services. "We are really involved in our church back in Tulsa where we live during the off-season, but out here I don't get to attend. Terry goes, and then comes to the game later if I'm playing in Seattle." They do attend the team Bible study at Seahawk "We've always limited the amount of TV our kids Dave Brownes house on Thursdays with six or seven watch, and we watch." Largent does enjoy listen­ other couples. ing to the radio, "but with four kids you don't need Largent says being a Christian doesn't affect the too much more noise." way he plays. ''Being a Christian is not just a life­ During the off-season, when the family is in style, but your life. It's not like you separate your Tulsa, Largent fishes for bass and plays a lot of life into different categories and have them over­ tennis with Terry. lap in certain areas. "I really enjoy playing tennis with Terry. She is "You have to look at the whole sphere of your getting back into the kind of shape she likes to be life as being a Christian. Involved in that sphere is In. Having four kids takes its toll on a woman." also football, being a husband and being a father." Terry majored In zoology at Tulsa. Now she Being a father is a responsibility Largent enjoys. manages the Largent Zoo in Kirkland that's hop­ "We go feed the ducks down in the park in Kirk­ ping with four active kids—Kyle, Casie, two-year- land, we go for bike rides and walks. old Kelly, and Kramer, 11 months. "A lot of time is spent just going to the different Kramer was born in November 1985, with spina activities they are involved In. Kyle just finished his bifida, or an open spine. "He'll have some compli­ football season last week. Casie (his five-year-old cations on down the road. At this point he's just a daughter) is in gymnastics. So we're always going in normal baby," Largent says. "We don't take any one direction or another." special precautions with him. He's just like all our The Largents don't watch TV unless dad is play­ other babies." ing. "We kind of feel that TV is a negative influ­ After the kids are put to bed, Largent says he and ence," Largent says. "Not only by what is coming Terry collapse. "After practice, and she's been with out at you, but also what you lose in wasted time by the kids all day, carpooling, and fixing lunches, we watching TV in relationship to what you could sit down and maybe read the paper together, or accomplish. talk. "We pay the bills, balance the budget, wash the clothes—all those normal kinds of things." m I bp Q^illiam (3. r

Mark Palsson begins the transformation . . .

ayne Miller^ the owner of Rumors Tav­ "I performed, 'Every Time I See Your Picture I ern, is a large, husky man who smiles Cry,' by Luba, a Canadian recording artist. Why? often when he speaks. He leaned over Because I'd broken up with a lover." Wthe bar and grinned. ''It's my birthday," he said, Ophelia said he hadn't always wanted to imper­ before recounting the history of Rumors and local sonate women because "people look down upon female impersonator shows. female impersonators as not being total men." "The tavern changed from a straight to gay clien­ However, he's comfortable in his role. "I still see tele in 1974. First it was The Hut, then Toyon, and myself in make up, just because I know what I look now Rumors." like. I've been told I look natural (as a woman). Miller said The Hut hosted drag shows infre­ "Actually, (impersonation) is an art form, gutsy," quently after the bar became gay, but Rumors he emphasized. "If someone can perform as a averages three shows every couple of months. woman, they've got to be insane. As long as they Rumors doesn't formally present Itself as a dive, keep to reality above the shows they do, they'll be but a joint. It's the kind of place you might get OK." caught dead drunk in and not realize It was gay Keeping to reality for Ophelia means not letting until you saw the pictures of half-nude men on the the character take over. ceiling. "I try not to immerse in Ophelia, because the The tavern boasts a small dance floor that also tendency is for female impersonators to become serves as a stage for impersonator shows. bitches or cranky. I'm not that way normally, and I Miss Gay Bellingham was drinking a beer in the cannot see why Ophelia has to follow a tavern. He prefers being called by his drag name, stereotype." "Ophelia," because most people, including his Shopping is often difficult for impersonators, so family, don't assume he's gay. Ophelia makes most of his own costumes. When Miss Gay Bellingham Is chosen at Rumors once he does decide to go shopping, however, he fol­ every year to represent Bellingham's gay commun­ lows a few self-set guidelines. ity at other functions across the state. "If it's pre-made, you buy it. You say it's for a Ophelia wore a denim jacket, jeans and a gray- sister or a girlfriend. (Or) you just don't say any­ and-yellow sweatshirt. He languidly held a Marl­ thing and hope to God they don't ask." boro cigarette. He leaned back in his chair and grinned as he He's lived in Bellingham for 13 years. A year ago, recalled the site of his first shopping trip. he started impersonating women at Rumors. He "It was the most unglamorous place around: flashed a toothy smile as he recalled his first show. Salvation Army. Their outfits aren't too ancient, "Other than butterflies, it felt good. It was defi­ and can be very easily fixed to suit today's style nitely fun.

L • • • and emerges as Seneca Jones.

Remembering another shopping experience, taining people without showing your real self, and Ophelia burst into laughter. making new friends. was looking for pantyhose at Woolworth's, He holds other female impersonators in high digging through the stacks while the salesperson regard, especially "when I see them on TV, In front was trying to get by. I said, 'God, I wish they had my of people, making money and keeping their per­ size.' Granted, the people I was with thought it was sonality. If they can live with it, so can I. funny. The salesperson walked through the store "Right now it's just for fun. I'm not ruling a and followed us until we left. I still didn't find my professional life out. I have to consider possibili­ size." ties: how would it affect my life, my relationships Even though pantyhose presented a problem with family and friends." then, Ophelia never has had trouble filling out a Another impersonator who isn't ruling out a bra. professional life is Mark Palsson. "I wear straps and fill the cups with rice. It works Palsson, or "Seneca," as he calls himself in cos­ well; makes very heavy boobs." He pantomimed tume, is a thin man with blond, shoulder-length holding breasts, shaking imaginary mammary hair. His Fu Manchu moustache rises with his glands up and down in his cupped palms. He said cheekbones when he grins, which is often. "I'm none has ever slipped out of his bra during a growing the moustache—until tonight." performance. Out of costume, the 25-year-old Palsson is a soft- “I try to buy costumes according to song. The spoken man who attends Skagit Valley Community song will mean nothing If the audio doesn't match College in Mt. Vernon. He plans to transfer to the video. If you don't dress to the song, people Western to major in business administration and will tune you out." computer science. Songs are as varied as costumes. "Ophelia can At home in his modestly furnished Mt. Vernon sing country, rock, and jazz. I dress differently for apartment, Palsson said he never dresses as a different kinds of music. For heavy metal, Ophelia woman on a daily basis, but only for shows. would wear leather, chains, and wild hair." "I don't do it during the day. It's the two worlds He laughed. "The hair would have to look like it of Seneca Jones, like Dr. jekyll and Mr. Hyde!" he hasn't been combed for weeks. I'd work It so peo­ laughed. ple would get mad at me. I go and have fun, and be The guest room of his apartment, which also totally wild. Totally wild! The music and words of a serves as his dressing room, is decorated with pic­ song take over how I move." tures of Marilyn Monroe. Two prom photos from It's obvious Ophelia enjoys impersonation. He his years at Seattle's Franklin High School sit on a said some favorable aspects are performing, enter­ dresser. Palsson fidgeted as he spoke. He said he began Palsson said the makeup is only for performing impersonating women five years ago in Seattle ''at under bright stage lights. He batted his eyes, the 611 Club on Second Avenue.'' buckled his knees, and pulled back his hair, then "I didn't perform professionally until I was 21. I laughed the motions away. performed at parties and underage clubs." His face finished, Palsson returned to his dress­ Palsson walked from the guest room to the ing room, where he slipped into a black skirt and bathroom, filled a sink with water, lathered his face put on a bra. Unlike Ophelia, he uses "falsies." and began to shave. "Sometimes I use a bra, sometimes I glue them "I like to sing," he said. "I have a fairly decent on. If it's low cut, I want to glue them. I use spirit voice, in the range of Billie Holliday. I love singing gum. You glue on your foam-rubber falsies with the blues. It's easy to sing Billie because she has a nipples. You have a more real appearance with heavy and raspy voice." something tight." Although Palsson likes Holliday, he imperson­ Palsson, now in full costume, wore long, dangly ates Joan Rivers. "I will perform professionally as earrings that accented his features, a women's soon as I hear from Joan Rivers about going on her black, formal coat, and an ivory ruffled shirt. Now show. I love Joan. She's bitchy." Seneca, he mocked a Marilyn pose and stuck out Palsson finished shaving. Less inhibited than his tongue. Ophelia, he has no qualms about shopping. At the Hideaway Tavern's Halloween Drag Show, "When I'm buying clothes, people think I'm Ophelia sat demurely on a bar stool, smiling buying them as a gift. If people ask, I say I'm buying through red lipstick. He wore a ratty blond wig that it for me. I like to see people's facial expressions. had been thrashed by a comb. A green dress Once I went shopping in drag. I tried a dress on, hugged his figure and an imitation diamond and and yes, I went Into the ladles room." ruby brooch sparkled between his breasts. As Palsson plugged in a curling iron, he con­ "They're big boobs," he said, chuckling. tinued, chuckling, "I've always been dressing up. I Costume putty had been attached to his nose, played mother when playing house. If my sisters giving the illusion it had been broken but never didn't let me, I'd beat them up." healed. His make-up was unflattering and made He applied make-up base to his face, then pow­ him look like he had been beaten. dered it. He picked up the curling iron and wentto "I'm having fun with drag," he explained. "The work on his blond tresses. heavy make-up is like wearing racing stripes. I'm a Palsson curls his hair because Seneca doesn't little old lady who wants to be 25 again." wear wigs while performing. Ophelia's legs were encased in red fishnet stock­ "I don't like wigs. Wigs don't look real; they're ings. He smiled, raised his eyebrows and hiked his hot and expensive. My hair looks real on stage. hemline, revealing a lavender garter on his thigh. People compliment me. When they know it's my Seneca pranced in, wearing a silver lame' dress own hair, they like it even more." with green beaded trim. A feather boa wrapped his Palsson compared himself to Seneca while he head and dangled past his knees, and three-inch- molded his curls. "Stage is a new world. Mark Is not long, imitation nails protruded from his fingers. A a performer. He's real shy; he gets embarrassed. sequined purse was tucked in the crook of his arm. Seneca has no feelings. To Seneca, if you want to A large, older drag queen was announcing per­ make it in this world, tell It like it is. She's not scared formers loudly into a microphonethat buzzed with of nobody, nothing. She's totally opposite; I guess static, and he made no effort to hide his she knows if she acts like me, she'll never make it as drunkeness. a star. "Look at those legs!" he hollered as Seneca took "Seneca is classy and elegant, but she's been in the stage. fights. Yes, virtual fist-fights. There was this pimp in The sound of Aretha Franklin's "Who's Zoomin' Seattle. I was out dressed with a girlfriend in Seat­ Who" filled the tavern as Seneca strutted through tle, and we were driving. This pimp pulled up and his number. followed, thinking we were two more for his People raised dollar bills in their hands, and a herd. few approached the stage with their cash and "We took detours and he kept following. We received a peck from the performer, just as the stopped the car, and I got out and told him he song was drawing to a finish, his costume came better quit. Well, my long nails were ripped off and apart. Deflated, he left the stage, and then it was I bruised my fingers. A week later I went to the Ophelia's turn. hospital and had a sprained finger and a hairline Ophelia's musical choice was Dolly Parton's "Me fracture in the rib. I don't take no shit. If I have to And Little Andy." Less flamboyantthan Seneca, he defend myself, I will." stood in one spot and performed the song like a Palsson completed his hair and pouted. "Cute storyteller interpreting a children's novel. Halfway curls," hegrinned,as he applied half acan of Aqua through it, he raised his dress and exposed his Net hairspray tothefinished product. He penciled lavender garter. on eyeliner and examined the result in the mirror. Meanwhile, Seneca was picking up the nails that "A female impersonator gives the illusion of a had fallen from his fingers. It was time, he said, to real woman. You don't have to be gay to pull off put himself back together, run up to Rumors and the illusion." slug a few beers through his exhausted body. He brushed on pink eyeshadow, then added d white sparkle powder over it. "Life as a woman would be a real bitch if you had to do this every day. Ask a real woman. I'm thankful I'm a man."

January 22 do it for us. Pressures, not estern President G. pushers, may be underlying Robert Ross sent all of younger and younger kids' initia­ us his drug warning tions Into drug use. Wletter. Western's athletic depart­ Coming of age in the 1980s ment is instituting drug education means never knowing a time for student athletes. Ronald and without the stiff expectations of ''Just-say-no" Nancy Reagan career-oriented education; time appeared jointly on TV in a accelerated by the every­ pseudo-parental plea for us to day use of lightning-fast compu­ avoid illegal drug use, while our ters; anxiety kindled by seductive lawmakers in Washington, D.C. advertising; comprehension have suggested death to pushers, blocked into TV segments; the military involvement in civilian irony of an old, inept actor as Pres­ drug enforcement, and admit­ ident of the United States and the tance of Illegal evidence in trials looming spectre of nuclear as steps to "crack" down on drug annihilation. abuse. If mommy and daddy down a Like our government's wars on bourbon at the end of the day, poverty and communism, the war why shouldn't junior and sis? And on drugs has a slim chance of suc­ if pills are pushed as an Rx for ceeding. Politicians have not, and most modern ills, why should it probably never will, pay much surprise us to find that other attention to eliminatingthe deep- drugs help kids loosen up before rooted causes of drug abuse. the high school dance? These causes have grown into our The common impulse to reject culture, and indeed may be these cultural pressures is person­ impossible to eliminate by politi­ ified in the kid walking silently cal means. But politicians w/7/try down a city street, decked out In to curb drug abuse in America, sunglasses and a Walkman any and their recent narrow-minded day—or night. See no evil, hear attempts to do so have cast a fas­ no evil, speak no evil. And we cist shadow over our democracy. walk by in our own silence, as if to What nobody claiming to be con­ say, "Hey, it's okay, buddy. We cerned about the "drug prob­ understand." lem" seems to be considering is The '80s have been hard on the that milllonsof us use illegal drugs psyche. Before some of us knew because we ought to. Life in what hit us, the host of "Death America has at once become so Valley Days" was our president. boring and overstimulating, so Reagan's Image-making and fragmented and paradoxical, that oversimplified answers to com­ few of us with any awareness plex problems made him a popu­ broader than jerry Falwell don't lar president for six years. want to reach for a joint or a line Some of us elected him and now and then—or perhaps some of us have loved him. He has regularly—in an at least brief propped up the economy, but on attempt to literally get out of our the backs of our children, who minds. will carry the burden of history's It becomes clear to us growing largest domestic debt into the up that if we don't alter our own coming decades. He told us to consciousnesses, our culture will feel good about America by res-

Klipsun 23 cuing jingoism from the pejora­ sensibilities until the inevitable Blind faith In capitalism, as both tive and making it a cornerstone becomes obvious. Yet others, an economic system and an of his patriotic fantasy—witness including some of our nation's ideology, has become so central Grenada, Libya, Iran and Nicara­ most influential men, will con­ to the American way of life that gua. And he encouraged us to tinue to defend this status quo— considering other systems is feel good about ourselves by against clear thinking and com­ thought to be the work of trea­ ignoring the plights of the less for­ mon sense—with military sonous fruitcakes. Again, you're tunate, and reinstitutionalizing strength and attacks on personal either for big business or you're a racism, sexism and rule by the freedoms. Marxist-Leninist commie pinko financially powerful. The latter, though, yachting fag. ''Ain't that America . . comfortably in 1987 mainstream Choose. Most of the population has America, have their own escapes. Capitalism has kept many enjoyed a psychic reprieve and And while some of these do Americans materially comfor­ thrived In this "wonderland." involve Illegal drugs, they also table, and in that comfort inured Others, however, have been Include a variety of culturally to the flaws inherent in a system quaking at the reality they see sanctioned that, if they don't that promises the world our waiting to pounce. reinforce, at least ignore our standard of living. That's a tough The debt will have to be repaid culture's deeper problems. promise to cash in on when we when Reagan leaves office or It One popular escape from real­ use up the vast majority of the will break us. Minorities will not ity is the belief that Reagan and world's resources that are the remain passive as we approach a his ideas simply are beyond criti­ very "capital" of our capitalism. police state. Somehow, we will cism. Criticism makes you the So, in the '80s, whether we have to live cooperatively with enemy, not part of the demo­ choose to face the complexities competing international ideolo­ cratic process. Since Reagan took and ambiguities of life and need gies and the tension of global office, Americans have been to get stoned once in a while to nuclear threat. And Reagan's encouraged to think in black and forget all that shit; or whether we international belligerence finally white. choose as a way of life to ignore all has begun to backfire In the Iran­ You're either for the contras or that shit, and punish drug users as ian scandal. you're soft on communism. a threat to the culture that thrives Ironically, some who have You're either for Star Wars or you on such ignorance, I guess, still, chosen to face these complex support Soviet superiority in the we're lucky to live In a land where realities that Reagan can't—or arms race. You're either for ran­ just about everybody's almost won't—may be the ones resorting dom mandatory drug testing or free to choose their own poison. to drugs to numb their greater you're a drugabuser. m

January 24 so I^CU A ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

hile still a naive high school's single ivy-covered build­ females to eligible males, I deci­ school senior, I decided ing. Every state university has such sively resolved to go where most to undergo the epic a token building, and they want of my friends were going. Wtransition from a civilized exist­ every prospective student to see After a long summer of working ence to the confused world of it, as if ivy-covered buildings are a to help with finances, I was Tolstoy and cheap beer known as sure sign of academic excellence. primed and ready for "the college ''the college experience/' Sifting through this worthless experience." What excitement, I All my friends were going to pile of guides, I noticed another thought as I headed north, college because their parents had similarity. Every photo seemed to expecting to be a brochure star told them to, and I realized that, portray the same happy students, myself in no time. unless I joined these academic smiling and chatting as they Once on campus, however, I lemmings in their quest for strolled to class in their new was immediately suspicious. Fac­ knowledge, I would be working argyle sweaters. One school's ing me was a scene of rain- part time at 7-11 until well into herd of pimple-free preppies was drenched chaos: frightened stu­ middle age. virtually indistinguishable from dents having flashbacks of Having jumped on the scholas­ the next school's herd of pimple- parents abandoning them at tic bandwagon, I first had to free preppies. summer camp, dorm administra­ decide which school to attend. These photos were practically tors on the verge of nervous With this task in mind, I sent away the only exposure my inexpe­ breakdowns, and rumpled to a few of the state universities rienced mind had to "the college pa'ents fleeing the madness in for the lowdown on what each experience." So, for my last six their new "I love University" school offered. After a few weeks, months of high school, and sweatshirts. the brochures started arriving. At throughout the following Could this be the same relaxed last, I figured, I had the informa­ summer, my image of college was haven of sunshine and ivy por­ tion with which to make a that of a place where the sun con­ trayed in the brochure? decision. stantly shines, guys always have Whatever romantic Illusions I But soon I discovered the vari­ great-looking girls to walk to class still might have entertained after ous pamphlets read like the li­ with, and every student looks as this were completely shattered terary equivalent of generic groc­ though they wind-surf, snow ski the moment I saw my dorm room. eries. Every school provided a and spend numerous weekends Concrete and tile—everywhere. "unique educational opportun­ per year in Tahiti. Not pretty tile, either. The kind of ity, ensuring personal as well as Finally, after careful assessment tile your grandparents have in academic development of the of each school's merits, based on their kitchen. A severely individual." No help there. my calculations of average class depressed interior decorator of Another feature shared by the sizes, ratios of students to profes­ hospital rooms and mental wards brochures was the photo of the sors, and projected ratio of single might have designed a space like this.

Klipsun 25 January 26 Not a happy scene. ing to weekends and happy Eventually, I learned to keep up The so-called ''comfortable hours, I would be able to breeze with my rugged class work by living conditions'" described in by with little trouble. eliminatingfrom my daily routine the brochure were actually a Right. such nonessentials as sleep and confined cubicle only slightly This illusion was immediately relaxation. So what if I had more larger than the entry hall of my shattered on the first day of baggage under my eyes than parents' home. classes. Unsuspecting, I walked would be allowed on a TWA This initial shock wore off as I into a room the size of The Para­ flight? I was keeping a respectable moved my junk in, realizing mount Theater, better suited for a grade-point average. things were not quite as bad as I rock concert than a college lec­ just as I was beginningto think I had first imagined. With some ture. And it wasn't long before I had successfully adjusted to col­ decent posters and a good stereo, began to wish I was at a rock con­ lege life, along came another even a Turkish prison could be cert, or even a jazz concert. obstacle: the collegiate bureau­ made "homey." But one worry Hell, I'd rather be at an opera cracy. still plagued me. than here, listening I encountered it when I I was going to have to share this received a $3 parking ticket while rat's nest with another guy. dropping some supplies off at a As I waited for him to show up, I building. I thought I could simply grew increasingly anxious. I explain my circumstances to the began to speculate on the character parking office, and they, realizing of my future competitor for their mistake, would tear up the space. ticket and apologize for the Maybe it'll be a Sid Vicious inconvenience. clone who'll plaster the walls with I soon discovered, however, anarchist propaganda and have that trying to explain a special all his head-shaven buddies over case to those bureaucratic clones to slam dance the night away. was like trying to explain the Or a born-again jerry Falwell Golden Rule to a mercenary supporter, who'll continually lec­ soldier. ture me on howto avoid the sinful After several minutes of frantic evils of dance and drink, and the explanation, I finally gave in to ultimate damnation of all who the nine-to-fiver behind the desk participate in such pagan rituals. and her repetitive monotone of Then, I began to speculate on "the signs are clearly posted," why this person couldn't find a and paid the fine. friend or acquaintance who Seemingly I had lost this battle, would agree to room with him. but actually I had gained some­ Why does he have to victimize me thing. For the first time, I felt as if I by taking half of my meager allot­ was living "the college experi­ ted space? There must be at least a ence." Only after withstanding few people from his high school the abuse of a college bureau­ here; why did none of them want cracy can one really feel they have to room with him? come close to the true essence of Does he have a mildly conta­ this experience. gious case of leprosy? An uncon­ I now had successfully wea­ trollable habit of drooling on eve­ thered the logistics of deciding on rybody's books and albums? and entering a college, learned to What is it with this friendless handle stresses of dorm living, loner? designed a no-sleep routine to When my new roomy finally ensure a respectable GPA, and does show up, however. I'm been exposed to the invaluable relieved to find he's neither an to this Insufferable monologue lesson of not messing with the anarchist nor a Bible thumper, on the history of eggsistentialism, bureaucracy. but just another perplexed lem­ or existenchilism, or whatever it I was living "the college ex­ ming who had been enticed by is. perience," just like the self- images of ivy, sun decks and Instead of a blackboard and assured students in the beautiful women. chalk, the instructor had a micro­ brochures. After settling into this unset­ phone and a podium. Is this what Feeling rather satisfied with my tling environment, 1 was ready to was meant by "a personal touch progress, I triumphantly strolled face the next obstacle in "the col­ in the classroom?" to the financial aid office, think­ And worst of all, these verbose, lege experience": classes. ing nothing could trip me up at Realizing victory in this area overgrown-word-wielders who this point. was vital to completing collegiate call themselves "profs" expected "What do you mean, my check meto do more work in the next 10 rites of passage, I took special is gonna be a little late? ” iKl weeksthan I had in my entire high precautions to ensure my success. I decided if I restricted the party­ school career.

Klipsun 27 By John G. Purcell

★ am loyal to nothing.

★ General—except the dream/' ★ — Captain America

••I oker, there's nothing ■ wrong with you that I ^ can't fix with my hands." With these words. Batman has returned, '80s style. Not the G- rated, idealistic Batman of the '40s and '50s, nor the slapstick Batman of the '60s television show, but a gritty, tough, middle-aged Bat­ man of the new mini-series comic, ''The Dark Knight Returns." And with the Gaped Crusader pushing 55, the medium that spawned him and his kind also has matured: the comic book. "The stories, the characters are more adult," says Michael Good- son, proprietor of The Comics Place in Bellingham's Bay Street Mall. Goodson is surrounded by his wares, many of them covered in cellophane envelopes to keep them in mint condition. He estimates that 70 percent of comic buyers and readers are over 18. These readers are devouring titles such as "X-Men," "Swamp Thing," "Man of Steel," "The Dark Knight," and "Ameri­ can Flagg," all In numbers large enough to impress a mass market paperback publisher. The new Batman series is selling more than 400,000 copies per issue, and the best-selling "X- Men" is selling close to 500,000 per monthly issue, Goodson says. Limited-edition series are top­ ping the list—the new Superman, "Man of Steel," a six-part epic, is selling more than 800,000 copies. All of these sales are infusing For example, "The Dark Comics differ greatly depend­ the industry with new blood. Knight" hardly resemblesthe typi­ ing on who draws them, Dolan Goodson says 17 new publishers cal comic book. The back is says. The character changes have arrived on the scene to join gummed, not stapled, and the greatly with the artist." the old standbys such as Marvel cover and pages are of much The narrative style is vivid and and DC. thicker, higher-quality stock than suspenseful. In one sequence, a usual. Also, at $2.95, the price of flashback, empty cartridges being Hubert Dolan, 22, is a comic "The Dark Knight" Is nearly four ejected from a gun are juxtaposed enthusiast, having collected com­ times that of an average release with close-ups of grimacing and ics as long as he can remember. like "X-Men." terrified faces during a street- He is proud of a collection he corner killing. The shells take sev­ estimates is worth between $1,500 eral frames to leave the gun as and $2,000. Many of these are ''The stories, the each bullet is fired, and the effect mint-condition ''X-Men'' and is more frightening than It would ''DaredeviT' comics from the characters are have been were the scene shown mid-VOs, which Goodson says are in gory detail. extremely collectable right now, more adult.^' Meanwhile, back in Gotham due to comic-buying trends. City, it's been 10 years since Bat­ ''As people are wholeheartedly — Michael Goodson man has been heard from, and addicted to soap operas,'' Dolan the town is shuddering under a says, "comics are that to me." wave of heat and crime. Newthemes, writers, artists and The art is bold and dramatic, Miller has aged Batman into his marketing approaches are chang­ with the Gaped Crusader appear­ 50s, (he has gray hair) and given ing the comic book. The reigning ing more like a winged demon him a new, bitter outlook on kings of the industry are Ameri­ than the familiar crime-fighting crime fighting. He plays rougher, can writer/artist Frank Miller and friend, not because of a costume hits harder, and constantly is Canadian writer/artist John change, but the artist's per­ under attack by the news media Byrne. While not newcomers to spective, which often shows him for being a dangerous vigilante. the industry, they are responsible silhouetted. Miller puts touches of our for the revivals of the two big information-age, issue-oriented heroes. Superman and Batman. y into his stories. Batman seems to be part Bernhard Goetz, As revolutionary as the new Dolan estimates that a mint- New York's ''Subway Vigilante/' books are, the older books, espe­ condition copy of the first as he is discussed by the news cially "X-Men," remain popular "Superman" issue (from 1938) is media on a show very much like with collectors. Steve Mauser, 22, worth more than $30,000. The ear­ ABC's "Nightline." The mayor is collects "X-Men," along with liest "Batman" comics, issued a politically feeble, and the old more than 200 other first issues. couple of years later, are priced at police commissioner, Gordon, is He collects primarily for value $10,000. Originally, they sold for retiring at age 70. and less for reading. "I read them pennies. Batman himself must deal with once and usually putthem away. The artists and writer, the main his own failing health, his old impetus behind any comic series, archenemies, such as the Joker, "The condition is the whole certainly aren't working for pen­ and new opponents: a group of key," he says, adding that he tries nies. A well-known writer such«as well-organized teenage killers to keep most of his comics in mint Byrne can pull in $250,000 a year who call themselves the Mutants, shape. One aspect of comic book illustrating comic books. The who appear to be part punk collecting, which sets it apart usual salaries are $70 to $130 per rocker and part reptile. from other types of collecting. Is page, which still is great money, that rarity does not determine considering an average comic Is Politics, too, have permeated value as much as popularity does. 36 pages and appears monthly. the comic world. "The Dark "The more they sell, the more The rest of the team for a series Knight" caricatures President they're worth," Mauser says. That includes inkers, colorists, editors Reagan in the same manner as the is why "X-Men" issues from 1977, and letterists. Often, Goodson controversial comic strip "Doo- which sold plenty then, are now says, artists and writers will nesbury," and patrons enter worth at least $20to $25 each. First assume multiple roles, especially Goodson's shop asking for titles issues are sought by collectors, on independents, such as "Cere- such as "Reagan's Raiders." Many because if a series becomes popu­ bus," the story of a barbarian books are bringing current world lar, that issue may someday be aardvark who becomes a pope, hotspots into their storylines, valuable. However, "a lot of series and "Teenage Mutant Ninja adding a Cold War element to the take off for a while and then die Turtles." tales. out," Goodson says. SIMON-COCKERHAM

DONNA

Comic enthusiast Hubert Dolan, engrossed in a new-age comic.

January 30 To a great extent, Goodson and over, and buys them for the the '40s, a veteran of World War says, the comic book is compara­ sheer enjoyment of reading II. He has conflicts with his old ble to the movie as a form of them. perceptions of America com­ entertainment. His own business The enthusiast remembers pared to today. A corrupt general is thriving, and publicity has come commends Captain America, tell­ favorite parts of his favorite series. from such varied sources as the ing him, "We've always valued In "Daredevil" #233, the kingpin Today show. Today, Cable News your commitment and your of crime in a particular city tries to Network, Gannett News Service, loyalty." the Seattle Post-Intelligencer and ruin the Daredevil's life after dis­ covering his secret identity, that The Captain resounds, gripping Gentleman's Quarterly maga­ the General's office flag, "I am zine. The latter featured an article of Matt Murdock, the widely respected blind lawyer. The loyal to nothing. General— on the new ''GQ'' Superman of except the dream." ''Man of Steel."' No longer is Clark superhero has a nervous break­ Kent a "wimp," but a "hunk," and down after he is disbarred from Meanwhile, back at the Bat- fashion threatens to outdo the the law, the profession he loves. cave, Batman lies wounded and action. This issue brought Captain beaten, tended by his sardonic America back from suspended but faithful butler, Alfred. And his Comics have something for animation. The Captain was a nemesis has plans to blow up everyone. character in comic books from Gotham City's Twin Towers . . •fi? Dolan sees a great educational potential for comics. He says pub­ lishers often have used their books to promote a cause or an idea. For example. Marvel put out a SIMON-COCKERHAM

comic called "Heroes" Aid," the proceeds of which were donated to Ethiopian famine relief funds. Spiderman has talked about DONNA being an abused child in hopes that other abused youngsters will identify with his character and realize success can come from travail. Anti-drug issues also have been relatively common. The Green Arrow's sidekick was "hooked on the whole spectrum of drugs," Dolan says. The pur­ pose of his addiction was to get readers to see the dangers of drugs. Meanwhile, back in Gotham City, the mutants are declaring a war of crime on the city, and the thermometer is topping off at 112 degrees. Batman is preparing to battle the mutant leader, a huge, vicious man who has filed down his teeth to needle points . . . Dolan divides comic readers into three categories. Goodson, an example of the first kind, is a comic entrepreneur. He makes his living buying and selling comic books and has detailed and expansive knowledge of his trade. It has gone beyond a hobby. Mauser is the second kind, a comic collector. He buys comics primarily for collector's and resale value. He reads them, but not fanatically, and often collects other items besides comic books. Dolan considers himself the third kind, a comic enthusiast. He Michael Goodson, proprietor of The Comics Place, amidst his wares. reads comics avidly, often over

Klipsun 31