KURT VONNEGUT JR. Harrison Ber;geron The year was 2081, and everybody was finally equal. They weren't only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody [Curt Vonnegut Jr. (b. 1922) was born on November 11 in Indianapolis, Indi­ ana. The son ofan architect and a homemaker, he attended Cornell University was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody and Carnegie Mellon University before the outbreak ofWorld War II, when he else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else. All this equality interrupted his studies to serve in the U.S. Army. As aprisoner ofwar in Dres­ was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213th Amendments to the Constitu­ den, Germany, he survived a devastating air raid on February 13, 1945, by tion, and to the unceasing vigilance of agents of the United States Handi­ staying in a meat locker under a slaughterhouse during the bombing. After capper General. World War II, Vonnegut worked in public relations at the General Electric Com­ Some things about living still weren't quite right, though. April, for pany in Schenectady, New York, before becoming a freelance writer. Player instance, still drove people crazy by not being springtime. And it was in Piano, his first novel, appeared in 1952, followed by a second fantasy novel, that clammy month that the H-G men took George and Hazel Bergeron's The Sirens of Titan, in 1959. Two years later he published Mother Night, a fourteen-year-old son, Harrison, away. first-person fictional narrative about World War II. In 1969 Vonnegut pub­ Itwas tragic, all right, but George and Hazel couldn't think about itvery lished another novel that has become a classic based on his own experience of hard. Hazel had a perfectly average intelligence, which meant she couldn't the Allies'fire-bombing ofDresden. Vonnegut titled it Slaughterhouse-Five; or, think about anything except in short bursts. And George, while his intelli­ the Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death, by Kurt Vonnegut Jr., gence was way above normal, had a little mental handicap radio in his ear. a Fourth-Generation Gennan-American Now Living in Easy Circum­ He was required by law to wear it at all times. It was tuned to a govern­ stances on Cape Cod (and Smoking Too Much) Who, as an American ment transmitter. Every twenty seconds or so, the transmitter would send Infantry Scout Hors de Combat, as a Prisoner of War, Witnessed the Fire­ out some sharp noise to keep people like George from taking unfair advan­ Bombing of Dresden, Germany, the Florence of the Elbe, Long Time tage oftheir brains.." Ago, and Survived to Tell the Tale; This Is a Novel Somewhat in the George and Bazel were watching television. There were tears on Telegraphic Schizophrenic Manner of Tales of the Planet Tralfamadore, Hazel's cheeks, but she'd forgotten for the moment what they were about. Where the Flying Saucers Come From. On the television screen were ballerinas. After Slaughterhouse-Five was made into a film in 1972, Vonnegut's A buzzer sounded in George's head. His thoughts fled in panic, like books achieved cult status. The critic Jerome Klinkowitz has observed that there bandits from a burglar alarm. ---.-.---­ was a "shift in taste" in the late 1960s and early 1970s that brought more seri­ "That was a real pretty dance, that dance they just did," said Hazel. ous appreciation to Vonnegu t's fiction after a new generation ofwriters-Don" "Huh?" said George. aId Barthelme, John Barth, Richard Brautigan, Jerzy Kosinski, Don DeLillo, "That dance-it was nice," said Hazel. Thomas Pynchon, and others-began publishing. "Ten years and several books "Yup," said George. He tried to think a little about the ballerinas. their elder, Vonnegut by his long exile underground was well prepared to be the They weren't really very good-no better than anybody else would have senior member ofthe new disruptive group." been, anyway. They were burdened with sashweights and bags ofbirdshot, Before Vonnegut's breakthrough as a novelist, he published short stories, and their faces were masked, so that no one, seeing a free and graceful ges­ like the fantasy tale "Harrison Bergeron," which first appeared in Fantasy ture or a pretty face, would feel like something the cat drug in. George was and Science Fiction Magazine in 1961 and was included in Canary in a Joying with the vague notion that maybe dancers shouldn't be handi­ capped:-Bu'l'he'aiari~fget'very Cathouse (1961) and Welcome to the Monkey House (1968). John Updike t far with it before another noise in his ear understood that Vonnegut "began as a published writer with the so-called slick radio scattered his thoughts. - w_ magazines"-the Saturday Evening Post, Collier's, and the Ladies' Home George winced. So did two out of the eight ballerinas. Journal. In the 1950s, slickness "was averbal mechanism that raised the spec­ Hazel saw him wince. Having no mental handicap herself, she had to tre ofpain and then too easily delivered us from it. Yet the pain in Vonnegut ask George what the latest sound had been. was always real. Through the transpositions of science fiction, he found a "Sounded like somebody hitting a milk bottle with a ball peen ham­ mer," said George. --,..,,-._'-~---_ ..._­ way . .. to vaporize it, to scatter it on the plane of the cosmic and the comic. " . "I'd think it would be real interesting, hearing all the different sounds," said Hazel, a little envious. "All the things they think up." "Urn," said George. VONNEGUT/Harrison Bergeron 1021 1020 Mid-Twentieth Century: 1941-1965 "Only, if I was Handicapper General, you know what I would do?" The television program was suddenly interrupted for a news bulletin. It said Hazel. Hazel, as a matter of fact, bore a strong resemblance to th~ wasn't clear at first as to what the bulletin was about, since the announcer, like Handicapper General, a woman named Diana Moon Glampers. "If I was all announcers, had a serious speech impediment. For about half a minute, Diana Moon Glampers," said Hazel, "I'd have chimes on Sunday-jqst and in a state of high excitement, the announcer tried to say, "Ladies and chimes. Kind ofin honor ofreligion." \l" ~ r . ~ gentlemen-" "I could think, ifit was just chimes," said George. \ He finally gave up, handed the bulletin to a ballerina to read. "Well-maybe make 'em real loud," said Hazel. "I think I'd make a "That's all right-" Hazel said ofthe announcer, "he tried. That's the good Handicapper General." big thing. He tried to do the best he could with what God gave him. He "Good as anybody else," said George. should get a nice raise for trying so hard." "Who knows better'n I do what normal is?" said Hazel. "Ladies and gentlemen-" said the ballerina, reading the bulletin. She "Right," said George. He began to think glimmeringly about his must have been extraordinarily beautiful, because the mask she wore was abnormal son who was now in jail, about Harrison, but a twenty-one-gun hideous. And it was easy to see that she was the strongest and most grace­ salute in his head stopped that. ful ofall the dancers, for her handicap bags were as big as those worn by two­ "Boy!" said Hazel, "that was a doozy, wasn't it?" hundred-pound men. It was such a doozy that George was white and trembling, and tears And she had to apologize at once for her voice, which was a very stood on the rims ofhis red eyes. Two ofthe eight ballerinas had cpllapsed unfair voice for a woman to use. Her voice was a warm, luminous, timeless to the studio floor, were holding their temples. melody. "Excuse me-" she said, and she began again, making her voice "All ofa sudden you look so tired," said Hazel. "Why don't you stretch absolutely uncompetitive. out on the sofa, so's you can rest your handicap bag on the pillows, honey­ "Harrison Bergeron, age fourteen," she said in a grackle squawk, "has bunch." She was referring to the forty-seven pounds of birdshot in a canvas just escaped from jail, w,here he was held on suspicion ofplotting to over- / bag, which was padlocked around George's neck. "Go on and rest the bag for throw the government. He is a genius and an athlete, is under-handicappedV a little while," she said. "I don't care ifyou're not equal to me for a while." and should be regarded as 'extremely dangerous." George weighed the bag with his hands. "I don't mind it," he said. "I A police photograph ofHarrison Bergeron was flashed on the screen­ don't notice it any mo~s jH~l~2.f me." upside down, then sideways, upside down again, then right side up. The "You been so tire ately-kind of wore out," said Hazel. "If there picture showed the full length ofHarrison against a background calibrated was just some way we could make a little hole in the bottom of the bag, in feet and inches. He was exactly seven feet tall. and just take out a few of them lead balls. Just a few." The rest of Harrison's appearance was Halloween and hardware. No­ "Two years in prison and two thousand dollars fine for every ball I body had ever borne heavier handicaps. He had outgrown hindrances faster took out," said George. "I don't call that a bargain." than the H-G men could think them up.