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84OCTOBER SA Rugby plays

dirty 2006

Arms deal special: that tender touch ANC’s big fat Greek Lotto The drunk and disorderly prosecutor My doctor paralysed me SUBSCRIBE to noseweek and SAVE R68 on the shop price: see PAGE 33 OCTOBER2006 ISSUE84 NEWS FLASH 8 FOUL PLAY OVER RUGBY CASH noseweek subscriptions Cover illustration: DR JACK for print and 4 Letters Lessons in corruption n IFAW bashing unfair n De Beers and the seal cull n Wank you, Harold! n A Harold for all n Ban junk food advertising n Motor-parts rip-off n Gant online editions to the defence 6 Dear Reader The Arms Deal n Phillip Dexter sues can now be ARMS DEAL bought 24/7 12 Tony Blair: BAe’s errand boy George Monbiot on the cosy relationship between the British government and the weapons merchants online at 13 The South African connection The jets we didn’t need 14 Gainful employment The appointment of two former public www. servants to private-sector jobs would be regarded as corrupt in many countries noseweek. 15 That tender touch The navy couldn’t have had anything to do with corruption – Navy chief Vice Admiral Johannes Mudimu told us so himself co.za 16 Something blue at Something Fishy After the cops shrugged their shoulders, a pair of amateur sleuths get the better of a fake tanzanite syndicate 19 The punching, drunk prosecutor Wild drinking led suspended Free State advocate to regularly throttle his partner 22 The unkindest cut A surgeon’s botched “routine operation” leaves a Pretoria woman paralysed 24 Beware Greeks bearing graft Do the ANC bigwigs turned Lotto operators know who they’re climbing into bed with? 26 Legal gymnastics The gloves are off in the dispute over the Michelangelo fitness club 28 Prophet and loss Unknown to adoring acolytes in Centurion, diamond- dealing Pastor Hennie Hancke is a disgraced insolvent

31 Consumer gripes Accounting software’s bottom line n Taken for ride by court? 32 Web Dreams The ugly ex-South Africans

SUBSCRIBE to noseweek and SAVEnoseweek R68 October 2006 on the shop price: see PAGE3 33 Letters

Lessons in corruption lawsuit. Long may it last! my knowledge of Claw partners at Cape Cross HAVE JUST read (from cover to Mike van Reenen (Community Lead Animal Lodge (the only privately cover) nose82 and, as usual, The Philippines Welfare), a Gauteng initiative owned land on this coast Iwas delighted to find out Indeed. Re arms scandal, that is largely funded by with a beachfront whose about the goings-on in my see pages 12-15. – Ed. IFAW. I was a volunteer main attraction is the world’s homeland. No doubt in the last year when Claw ran a biggest mainland seal course of time you will reveal IFAW bashing unfair spay-a-thon in Soweto, which breeding colony) is Namibia’s more about the granddaddy of I’m a huge fan, but your sterilised a couple of hundred Fisheries & Marine Resource corruption concerning Zuma seal-cull article (nose82), dogs for free; I’ve also seen director, Dr Burger Oelofsen. and the Arms Scandal. seems unfair to me. Perhaps how Claw has provided Dr Oelofsen said in 2000: However, let me assure you do not know that IFAW vegetable-gardening skills and “We know they are going South Africans who think has been the target of a nasty equipment to impoverished to die, so why not harvest their country is going to and unjustified campaign by communities. them?” At the lodge seals the dogs that corruption Francois Hugo who, it would You imply that IFAW are killed from 5am to 10am, in SA is peanuts compared appear, is your main source. saved oiled penguins as a then it’s open to the public to the Philippines. South I understand his hysterical PR exercise while ignoring from 10am to 5pm, July to African politicians could defence of the seals. (Those a [massive] seal die-off November. They make money from the people killing seals and then from the seal-loving Let me assure South Africans who think their country is going to the tourists (who have no idea what’s gone before). If you’re dogs that corruption here is peanuts compared to that in the Philippines a trophy hunter, you can even pay to go in and kill seals with bows and arrows. Besides the obvious conflict learn a thing or two on using poor baby seals die in a elsewhere along the coast. of interest, what kind of their term of office to enrich horrible way, just like the I don’t know the rights and marine wildlife management themselves and their families, less photogenic piggy you wrongs of this – and for is this? entrenching political control ate at breakfast.) But I am all we can see, neither do Menkit Prince of their constituencies and disappointed that he tries to you, with no comment from Australia fiddling elections. damage an organisation that, IFAW – but possibly” IFAW “What the Philippines with a mere R650 million decided to allocate funds to Wank you, Harold! needs is a noseweek to reveal a year, manages to achieve the victims of a man-made I write in support and in all. However, the statistics of an amazing amount. (This disaster rather than to those praise of your Last Word the number of journalists who amount must be stretched of what was likely a natural column by Harold Strachan. have been assassinated here to cover campaigns in 13 disease? IFAW does not have Michael Webb (Letters, in the last two years would countries, a peanut-total of unlimited resources to deal nose81) describes it as a not make a job with noseweek R50 million or so per country.) with each and every disaster. “mental wank.” Once into it, (Philippines) an attractive I am not an IFAW member What about WWF? What I think it is imaginative and proposition. At least all you or donor, but I know about about the WSPCA? hilarious. need fear in South Africa is a their organisation through It’s counterproductive Mr Webb should remember to bash a perfectly useful that wanking remains one of Gus organisation simply because it mankind’s most popular and does not have the resources to pleasureable pastimes. espouse the one cause that Mr Ron McGregor Hugo happens to care so Mowbray deeply about. Mandi Smallhorne A Harold for all Wilropark There is frequent debate We research our own stories. about “old Harold” and his Seal culling was IFAW South columnf My question is: who Africa’s thing – and then, is Harold Strachan? I suddenly, it wasn’t any more. recently read a biography of Now see NoseArk on page 34. Bram Fischer and a Harold – Ed. Strachan is mentioned there. Is that our Harold? Could you Double harvest perhaps give us a brief Thanks for NoseArk’s background to the man? excellent article on DeBeers And, by the way, you can add and the Namibian seal my vote to the “keep Harold” cull. DeBeers need to be fraternity. exposed for the corporate Greg King environmental rapists they Bryanston are. Our Harold is the man you “If we were living in a better world, I’m Your readers also ought meet each month at the back sure we wouldn’t know it.” to be told that one of the of noseweek. And, yes, he’s the

4 noseweek October 2006 one that features in Fischer’s Gant to the defence described as “indecisive The article omits both my biography – and a fair number and at best inconclusive” evidence and the arbitrator’s of other places, too. Could and “unconvincing”. The rulings. Printing only there be another? Your vote HE UNTRUE AND defamatory arbitrator found Mr Gilmour Gilmour’s side was negligent. has been recorded. – Ed. allegations against had “undermined his own I do not think it is Tme in “Let Us Prey” reliability” in his own inappropriate to ask you Down with junk (nose83) are founded on the documents where he referred to offer an apology and “Food and crime” by George premise that, in terms of an to the transaction only as a to retract the allegations Monbiot (nose80) made for arrangement made between “15% shareholding”. against me. fascinating reading. myself and Mr Gilmour, The arbitrator came to Dave Gant With all the junk in our he was entitled to 15% of the “inevitable conclusion Somerset West food supply chain, all of the issued share capital in that no loan account was Our story clearly records us, not only delinquents, run Brackenridge Property Pty created”, which is not the arbitrator’s acceptance the risk of being deficient in Ltd (which he received) surprising. The property, that there was never certain nutrients. and a loan account of R3,6m under Gilmour’s Trust intended to be a loan As much as I dislike in the company (which for nearly 10 years, was account. We, however, supermarkets I feel credit he did not receive). You moribund. In 1998 we maintain that it is highly should be given where due elaborate on this by way of were prepared to pay the unlikely that a successful when it comes to truly natural a host of factually incorrect vendors R10.8m. When businessman would have foods and drinks: Woolworths statements and assumptions. Gilmour got his shares agreed to exchange property now have on offer organic Perhaps the most over two years later, we worth R3.6 million for shares vegetables and vegetable malicious and untrue of had, with no contribution worth R975, especially as juices. these is the proposition that from him, redesigned the everyone else was being A ban on junk food Absa would have nothing township, re-established treated differently. advertising to young to do with the company if I zoning rights, completed Gilmour was quite children should be was involved. In fact, Absa environmental impact adamant that Absa would implemented without delay. were the financiers of the studies, built access roads, have nothing to do with the A Macdonald project whilst I was involved eradicated much of the alien project if Gant was involved Knysna and happily accepted my vegetation, completed service – and that Gant had tried to suretyships. agreements with the Plett dismiss this as “Absa being Motor parts rip-off Inter alia, the contention municipality, established difficult.” We are happy to Recently an acquaintance is that I deliberately architectural guidelines and record your contrary account. in the industry was concealed the existence environmental management The development was not sufficiently shocked to of the loan account to plans, pegged out and moribund. It had been show me an invoice from a induce the Power Group priced erven, opened a sales placed on hold after an components manufacturer to take up shares in the office with all necessary unsuccessful test market in for a large quantity of units company and to defraud Mr promotional material and 1995. The conditions were supplied to one of our local Gilmour. In the arbitration concluded a number of sales. not favourable so soon after motor manufacturers. The on Gilmour’s claim, the Consequently we valued the 1994 election. manufacturer’s price per unit arbitrator, Advocate Willie the project at R24m, and Gant does not deal with calculates out to R287.50 per Burger SC, found on direct hence gave Mr Gilmour his the fact that Gilmour, who unit. We phoned four motor evidence and on the balance 15%. He received R3.6m contributed land worth dealers around the country of probabilities that no in value and only personal R3.6 million in 1999, for prices on this item. such loan account was ever greed could make him was set to recover only Prices quoted were more or offered to Gilmour. believe he was entitled to a R3.8 million some 7 years less uniform at R1300.00, My evidence in the R3,6m loan account on top later, despite the property excluding VAT, per unit. matter was described of that! being in one of the most That is a markup of over as “convincing” and the Gilmour has caused a fashionable areas of South 350%. Makes one wonder terms of the deal I had defamatory and malicious Africa, then experiencing how effective (ineffective?) arranged with Gilmour, and article to be published in an unprecedented property the state is when looking into which he countersigned, noseweek and I will be boom. – Ed. monopolies and price fixing. were described as “clear pursuing my legal rights. In-the-know and unambiguous”. At no time was I asked Port Elizabeth Gilmour’s evidence was by noseweek to comment. Your Complete Software Solution Trust Accounting Electronic Instructions Property Transfers Case Management Bond Registrations Client Billing Debt Collection Diary System “”Making computers work for you Litigation Time Management 0 8 61 71115 0 Bills of Cost Management Reports For a free demonstration. Trade Marks Admin Orders www.legalsuite.co.za

5 noseweek October 2006 5 Dear Reader Dear Reader

Tel: (021) 686 0570 Fax: (021) 686 0573 [email protected] www.noseweek.co.za Faxes and facts Editor Martin Welz ESPITE THE GOVERNMENT’S best efforts, there corruption trial. Production editor are few South Africans today who Former transport minister Mac Maharaj, Tony Pinchuck do not believe there was corruption who features in the fax, is also still the involved in the arms deals that subject of a Scorpions’ investigation. (Also Assistant editor were concluded in 1998 and 1999. see page 14 for the latest developments Hans Muhlberg DEven some of the ANC’s most senior allies in the story about the Department of think it. Speaking in support of former Transport’s questionable deals and Gauteng bureau deputy president Jacob Zuma at the 85th relationships with Prodiba – Pro Madiba Jack Lundin anniversary rally of the SA Communist perhaps? – a company with links to the Party in July, Cosatu general secretary ANC’s fundraising operations, the same Censor-in-chief Zwelinzima Vavi called for an investigation French arms company, and to Jacob Zuma’s Len Ashton into who “really” benefited from the favourite financial adviser, Schabir Shaik.) Sub-editor controversial arms deal. Dated 14 November 1996, the fax – here Chas Unwin “Some people have been put under the translated from the French by us – speaks spotlight while the real culprits have been for itself: Cartoons hidden,” he declared, suggesting that Zuma, You will find herewith a request for Gus Ferguson who faces corruption charges related to the assistance via the office of the President and Myke Ashley-Cooper arms deal, was not one of the culprits, or Vice-President, that was transmitted to me by only a lesser culprit - and that he (Vavi) the minister of transport Mac Maharaj – who Contributors knows who the real culprits are. Mzilikazi wa Afrika is possibly about to become successor to Joe The notorious arms deal continues to Modise in the post of minister of defence. Marion Edmunds unravel on all fronts, and at an increasing I believe that this request – perhaps a little Tim James pace, so we may get to know who they are overplayed – nevertheless merits that we see Marike Roth sooner rather than later. what we can do. The political impact, for Harold Strachan As we went to press we learnt from us as well as for minister Mac Maharaj, can reliable sources in Germany that prosecutors only play in our favour in the future. Subscriptions there have uncovered further documentary Maud Petersen If you are in agreement, I can contact evidence of bribes that may have been paid the school in question and try to evaluate by German contractors in connection with Advertising more precisely the cost of this operation. In the South African arms deal. This time the addition I can talk to the ambassador about Adrienne de Jongh documents were found amongst those seized it and see in what measure he would be able Subscription rates in a raid on the offices of MAN-Ferrostal to participate. Print: SA only R220 for 10 issues. in Dusseldorf. Ferrostal is one of the main Pierre Moynot Neighbouring states ­(airmail) contractors on the South African submarine R355; Overseas ­(airmail) Europe, contract. More details are expected to appear This suggests that already at an early Americas and Australasia: R375 in the German press shortly. stage of the tendering process, top-level (for 10 issues). Online: R250 for This follows on the recent report by news politicians were not adverse to soliciting 10 issues (visit www.noseweek. magazine Der Spiegel, that evidence of “an favours from foreign contenders for the arms co.za). initial” R133-million that may have been contracts – who responded favourably in the To subscribe by post paid in bribes related to the South African hope of gaining an advantage unrelated to Send cheque with name, address contracts, was found in the records of the actual merits of their bids. and phone­ no. to: noseweek, PO Thyssen-Krupp in Essen. Thyssen is one of More news to stop the presses: Phillip Box 44538, Claremont 7735. the main contractors for the frigate contract Dexter, CEO of the Mpumalanga Economic To subscribe via Internet and and has, in addition, acquired a major Growth Agency (Mega) has issued summons pay by credit card go to shareholding in one of the frigate-builders: out of the Cape high court against noseweek, www.noseweek.co.za Blom&Voss. its editor, and reporter Mzilikazi Wa Afrika,

Copyright All material in this All of which makes the latest career move in which he demands a retraction of, and issue is copyright, and belongs to of a senior SA Navy officer reported on page apology for, both the editorial and the Chaucer Publications (Pty) Ltd, 14 of great public concern. report that appeared in nose82 relating to unless otherwise ­indicated. No part In the accumulation of new evidence on complaints about his management of Mega. of the material may be quoted, the local front (that increasingly suggests In the alternative he is asking for R500,000 photocopied, reproduced or be stored by any electronic system without prior impropriety at the highest level), we have in damages. We had planned to deal further written­ permission. Disclaimer While found a third encrypted fax message sent to with Mr Dexter’s complaints in this issue, every reasonable effort is taken to the head-office of notoriously corrupt French but in view of the risks and costs involved in ensure the accuracy and soundness arms supplier Thomson CSF (since renamed high court litigation (particularly where Mr of the contents of this ­publication, Thales International), by its representative Peter Hodes SC appears for the Plaintiff), neither the authors nor the publisher will bear any responsibility for the in Johannesburg Pierre Moynot. we have thought it prudent to first seek consequences of any actions based on Today Moynot represents Thales’ local legal advice before proceeding or making any information contained herein. Printed subsidiaries (Thint Holdings and Thint (Pty) decision relating to his demands. Watch this and Published by Chaucer ­Publications Ltd) in the dock of the Durban high court, space. (Pty) Ltd. where they are Jacob Zuma’s co-accused in a The Editor

6 noseweek October 2006 Trust me, I’m a doctor David Klatzow

noseweek October 2006 7 COVER STORY Picture: IMAGES24.co.za/Volksblad/ Mlandeli Puzi Pictures: KAMERAZ

Stay sharp: Tony McKeever, CEO of Southern Spears, with Nelson Mandela metro Mayor Nondumiso Maphazi SA Rugby shafts Spears

UDGE DENNIS DAVIS, speaking from for little. the Cape High Court bench in Money, as always, is the heart of August, held that South African Although the people the problem. At issue is not only who rugby authorities must honour gets to play in the Super 14 and who their commitment to rugby in the of the Eastern Cape not. Only after the deal with SEC was predominantlyJ black South and East- struck did it apparently dawn on the ern Cape, by ensuring that Southern have been running the rugby bosses that also at stake is who Spears play in both the Super 14 and gets to gain, and who gets to lose any- Currie Cup competitions. In his judg- country for the past 12 thing from R30m to R60m in annual ment, Judge Davis spoke refreshingly sponsorships! What the Spears desper- of integrity and fairness in contracts. ately need, the existing (white) Super Have the rugby authorities responded years, they’re no match 14 teams don’t want to lose. Getting honourably? Puleeez! Rugby, once the South African Rugy Union (Saru) described as a game for hooligans that for the old guard when and its commercial arm SA Rugby is played by gentlemen, is certainly not (Pty) Ltd. to live up to the deal with run by gentlemen. Rugby is huge busi- it comes to rugby – and Southern Spears, might take more ness, and considerations of honour and than reminders of honourable commit- fairness barely get a look-in. Even the hanging on to the dosh ment. much-vaunted transformation counts So, for noseweek readers for whom

8 noseweek October 2006 rugby is simply a game played by men Spears would then be On 2 December 2005, with odd-shaped balls, some back- entrenched in the Super the board of SA Rugby ground: 14 for 2007 and 2008. (Pty) Ltd accepted the In 2006, the international Vodacom This would work as President’s Council deci- Super 12, the much-watched and very follows – the team fin- sion regarding the Super lucrative rugby season between Aus- ishing bottom in 2006 14. On 10 March 2006, tralia, New Zealand and South Africa, would make way for the Johan Prinsloo, until added two team franchises to become Spears, and the team finishing bottom recently CEO of Saru and MD of SA the Super 14 – one to Australia and in 2007, excluding the Spears, would Rugby, but now only MD of SA Rugby, one to us. In anticipation, SA Rugby play a promotion/relegation decider wrote to Southern Spears’ attorney invited local unions to submit bids for against whichever team dropped out that “the decisions of the board of 2 the new franchise, the leading contend- in 2006, to determine who would play December 2005 have not been amended ers being the Free State union and the the following year. These minutes were ... unless the board decides otherwise three unions comprising the South & approved, subject to an additional it is obvious that the decision will be Eastern Cape (SEC) region – Eastern clause that the agreement which Van implemented in 2007”. Five days later, Province, Border and South Western Gaalen had drafted would be Districts. sent to all Saru provisional

What sets the Eastern Cape aside presidents in due course. Picture: from the rest of the country, if not the The first sentence of Van entire continent, is that it’s the only Gaalen’s agreement reads: IMAGES24.co.za/Volksblad/ Jaffer Sharief

For some coaches SA Rugby’s commitment to development means putting two blacks on the wing where they won’t get too much of the ball

region where rugby is more popular “The Parties present at the with black people than is soccer. As the President’s Council meeting

home of 45% of registered rugby play- held on 8 June 2005 agreed Short shrift: Judge Dennis Davis ers, and of the majority of the country’s the following: 1. That a formal legal black players, the SEC had a strong agreement should be drafted imme- case. That, and SA Rugby’s avowed diately confirming what was agreed commitment and constitutional obliga- regarding the Super 14 Franchise sys- tion to development and transforma- tem in South Africa...” tion (which for some coaches, of course, Thirteen days after the President’s Chris Ferreira of SA Rugby’s legal means putting two blacks on the Council meeting, the SA Rugby department wrote that “the board of SA Rugby shafts Spears wing where they won’t get too much Finance Committee met, and the min- SA Rugby (Pty) Ltd at a meeting held of the ball, or, in the case of Hanyani utes record that the financial director on 2 December 2005 ratified the deci- Shimange, keeping him on the bench of SA Rugby, Basil Haddad (now also sion of the President’s Council, Saru, to where he’ll get absolutely nothing of acting MD), following the decision of entrench the team of Southern Spears it), explains why the deal was done. the President’s Council, had arranged for 2007/2008”. On 5 June 2005 the worthies on the a meeting with the SEC franchise to Meanwhile, an agreement had also President’s Council of Saru “reached discuss funding. Minutes of Saru’s been made on the Currie Cup. At a agreement” regarding the Super 14 management committee meetings of President’s Council meeting on 9 Sep- structure. South Africa would have six 19 and 26 September 2005 record that tember 2005, it was agreed that South- Super 14 franchises – the five already Haddad was mandated to set up a ern Spears would play in the Premier in play – plus one for the SEC, to be meeting with the SEC franchise to dis- Division of the Currie Cup for the 2006 known as Southern Spears. The min- cuss financing as per the agreement of season to prepare them for the 2007 utes recorded that “a formal agreement the President’s Council of 8 June 2005. Super 14 season. This would be for one be drafted immediately, confirming On 3 November 2005, Haddad recorded year, as after that Southern Spears what was agreed regarding the Super that there was a verbal commitment to would play in the Super 14. Spears’ 14 franchise system”. Attorney Johan the SEC Super 14 franchise for start- constituent teams, South Western van Gaalen was called in to make sure up funding for R3 million and that Districts, Eastern Province and Border things were done properly. The (Free further funding would depend on spon- would, in any event, play in the Currie State) Cheetahs would play in the sorship forthcoming from Vodacom, or Cup. 2006 Super 14, during which time SA others. (It was eventually agreed that The SEC franchise enthusiastically Rugby would financially support the some R12m would be made available began preparing. A company, South- Southern Spears’ development. The by sponsors.) ern Spears (Pty) Ltd, was established

noseweek October 2006 9 COVER STORY to run the franchise, player contracts road of Brian van Rooyen’s regime. Most porters” (now there’s the crunch). were negotiated and sponsorships dis- particularly, in his view, the solution Southern Spears were given no cussed. Pieter de Villiers was appoint- to the Eastern Cape’s problem “was chance to respond, nor shown the rel- ed as coach and his salary was paid by not necessarily Super 14 rugby”. On evant documents. SA Rugby’s legal SA Rugby. In November 2005, Tony 24 March 2006 the President’s Council head, Koos Basson, declared: “We (SA McKeever, a dynamic, somewhat mav- met. After the meeting, Johan Prins- Rugby) realise the previous board dealt erick marketing consultant employed loo, the very man who had written the with the issue on 2 December 2005 by SA Rugby, moved to Port Elizabeth reassuring letter to Southern Spears’ and took the wrong decision”. Mean- to become CEO of Southern Spears. attorney two weeks earlier, issued a while SA Rugby had stopped making But all was not well. The Super 14, statement saying that the council would payments to the players and officials as a collaboration between Australia, recommend that a commission be sent of Southern Spears, although, after New Zealand and South Africa, is con- to the SEC to examine the validity of adverse publicity, some payments were trolled by a body called Sanzar, and the Southern Spears’ engagement in made for a short period. All in all, only Sanzar requires that Saru sign partici- the Super 14 and ascertain their state R6m of the promised R12m was paid. pation agreements with its franchises. of readiness. It would also recommend To cap it all, on 25 May the board The big five – the Sharks, Cheetahs, that there be no relegation of any exist- decided to exclude Southern Spears Lions, Bulls and Western Province ing franchise at the end of the 2006 sea- from the 2006 Currie Cup, a mere six – were refusing to accept the promo- son. He went on to say that “either way, weeks before the start of the season. tion/relegation clause. we are committed to helping Southern Why the dramatic change of direction? Then in February, Sharks’ boss, (col- Spears make it into the big league Had certain teams looked over the oured) attorney Oregan Hoskins, was – whether they take part in the Sanzar precipice and not liked what they saw? appointed president of Saru, replacing tournament now or later”. What were the chances that Johan- the controversial Brian van Rooyen. On 29 March, the Saru board met nesburg’s Cats (who finished bottom Hoskins’ victory was comprehensive and approved the President’s Coun- among South African teams) would – 27 votes to 17, with the big five sup- cil recommendation. On 31 March it happily make way for a “piddly” lit- porting him, and the smaller unions sent the commission to look at the tle (black) team from PE. What to do? like Boland, South Western Districts, SEC franchise. On 19 April, the board Well what about a new Saru president Eastern Province, Falcons and Leop- announced that Southern Spears were willing to kill off the deal? ards siding with Van Rooyen. Brian not ready for participation in the Super And the sudden exclusion from the van Rooyen’s hobbyhorse had been 14. They referred to a report compiled Currie Cup? Could this have been transformation, and inclusion of South- by a team headed by Hoskins, that related to Griquas suing Saru to have a ern Spears in the top flight. Hoskins included an examination, prepared by decision set aside not to assure Griquas made it clear that he was opposed to board member Ali Bacher (now a rugby a place in the Currie Cup, but require any team being relegated from the expert along with everything else!), on them instead to qualify through the Super 14. the likely impact on the relegated team Vodacom Cup? Did Saru not have the Things were about to change. In the (pretty disastrous, we would imagine), stomach to fight, so got rid of the SEC Sunday Times of 5 March 2006, Hoskins player capacity of the SEC, and an teams? said that Saru would not go down the analysis of “sentiments of rugby sup- Southern Spears took SA Rugby and Saru to court, to get the agreements enforced. Some might see a certain irony in a dispute between a predomi- nantly black wannabe rugby franchise led by a white man, and the predomi- nantly white rugby establishment led by a man of colour. What defence could SA Rugby and Saru raise? Wasn’t there a clear agree- ment between the parties, and hadn’t this agreement been breached? No, said the facile men of rugby. There simply never was an agreement! One is left thinking that Saru and SA Rugby’s lawyers extracted whatever they could find from a contract law textbook. An agreement requires an offer and an acceptance: well no offer was made because the President’s Council had no authority to make an offer; besides, Southern Spears had made no formal acceptance. And, if there was an offer, it was conditional on Van Gaalen’s document being accepted by the presi- dents of the provincial unions, which it wasn’t. And if that’s bollocks, the offer was conditional on Southern Spears showing their participation to be via-

10 noseweek October 2006 Picture: IMAGES24.co.za/Volksblad/ Mlandeli Puzi

ble, financially and dying in much of the otherwise – which country. they were alleg- McKeever points edly unable to do. out that attendances (We well know, of at Absa Currie Cup INCLUDE course, that partici- matches are way pation and finan- down. Saru he says, cial viability were is ignoring the stark inextricably linked warning given by noseweek – the one depend- Professor Willie Bas- ing on the other.) son, who prepared in your conference goody bag On top of that there Saru’s own transfor- [email protected] was a common mis- mation charter. In it take, blah blah, my Basson says that if lord, blah blah ... player profiles don’t Judge Davis match population

gave Saru and SA Quietly spoken: Saru chief Oregan demographics, the Rugby short shrift: Hoskins sport will be in big there was a clear trouble, and only in agreement and it the Boland and the had been breached. Eastern Cape is there The problem was such a match. The what relief to give. The courts don’t run Eastern Cape, says McKeever, is being rugby and one couldn’t require Saru sidelined - which SA Rugby denies, to have Southern Spears play in the claiming that much work is being done 2006 Currie Cup competition, already behind the scenes. Investigations underway. Davis declared that the The case has not gone unnoticed by board of SA Rugby had, at the meeting government. The minister and deputy Surveillance of 2 December 2005, ratified the deci- minister of sport have requested a Information sion of the Saru President’s Council to meeting with SA Rugby and Saru to FAX: 011 440 7309 entrench Southern Spears in the Super discuss the franchise issue. Watch this 082 412 9871 14, and that the decision was bind- space. SA Rugby were asked to com- ing. He also held that the Spears be ment but declined to do so. entrenched in the Currie Cup for the As we went to press we learned Some might see a certain irony in a dispute between Back Pain? Get relief from pain and learn a predominantly black wannabe rugby franchise led how to avoid it by a white man and the predominantly white rugby British-qualified practitioner of tPilates establishment led by a man of colour tTherapeutic Massage t Feldenkrais Method ® of gentle exercise 2006 season. Davis left it to the par- that SA Rugby has made secret offers ties to sort it out, but said Spears could to the three Eastern cape unions, to Barbara McCrea approach the court for further relief if buy control of their shares in South- (021) 788 9626 or 083 745 7086 necessary. ern Spears. SA Rugby also proposes Classes and individual sessions – phone to find out We would love to report that discus- buying the stake in Spears owned by about Cape Town and Joburg dates sions have ensued on bringing Southern Sail, the sponsorship management Spears into the top flight, but Saru and company headed by Johan Rupert and SA Rugby refuse to talk and they’re Bulelani Ngcuka. If it succeeds with doing what big boys do when they don’t this back-door strategy SA Rugby will A space this size is a snip at have a case – they’ve applied for leave itself control Spears. The offer stipu- to appeal. This is no doubt to wear lates that each union must “do its best ONLY Southern Spears down financially, and to persuade Southern Spears to settle ensure that by the time the matter’s its court case with Saru and SA Rugby resolved, presumably well into the 2007 by abandoning the court order of 4 Super 14, it will all be academic. August”. R750... While Saru and SA Rugby throw To add insult to injury, according

vast sums of money at defending court to well-informed sources SA Rugby Why not try it for size? cases (according to McKeever, small have attempted to persuade Pieter de [email protected] beer compared to damages claims they Villiers, the man contracted to coach may face for Southern Spears losses Spears, to sign an undertaking never to as a result of the exclusions), rugby is coach the team.

noseweek October 2006 11 Arms deal

assistance they provide to anyone else. Take the Defence Export Services Organisation (DESO), for example, a government agency founded 40 years ago to smooth out foreign deals for British arms companies. From its inception, this smoothing involved baksheesh. It was established as a channel for “financial aids and incentives” to corrupt officials in foreign governments. In 2003, after bribery of this kind became illegal in the United Kingdom, The Guardian found an internal DESO document explaining its guidelines for arms sales. “In certain parts of the world,” it said, “it has become Fighting shit: The Eurofighter, described by a British defence official as a ‘dead duck’ commonplace for special commissions Quietly spoken: Saru chief Oregan Hoskins to be required. This is a matter for DESO, to whom all requests for special commission should be referred. If DESO confirm that such payments can be made, contracts staff may need to provide the means for payment”. Tony Blair: A “special commission” is civil service code for a bribe. The document suggests, in other words, that the British government is overseeing the BAe’s errand boy? payment of bribes to foreign officials. BAE’s previous deals with Saudi Arabia are surrounded by allegations of corruption. It is alleged to have run a £60 million (around R840 million) T’S DESCRIBED BY a senior official at “slush fund” to oil the Al Yamamah the British Ministry of Defence contracts brokered by Margaret as “a dead duck ... expensive and Thatcher. The fund is said to have been obsolete”. The editor of World used to provide cash, cars, yachts, hotel Defence Systems calls it “10 years The support rooms and prostitutes to Saudi officials. Iout of date”. A former defence minister One of the alleged beneficiaries was remarked that it is “essentially flawed given by the Prince Turki bin Nasser, the Saudi and out of date”. So how on earth minister for arms procurement. The did BAe Systems manage to sell Serious Fraud Office was bounced 72 Eurofighters to Saudi Arabia in UK authorities by The Guardian’s revelations into August? opening an investigation. But among One answer is that it had some to peddlers of the conditions the Saudi government eminent salesman. On July 2nd 2005, laid down for the new deal is that the Tony Blair secretly landed in Riyadh investigation is dropped. Let’s see what to persuade the Saudi princes that this weapons far happens. flying scrapheap was the must-have With this exception, the big arms accessory every fashionable young surpasses the companies appear to have been granted despot would be buying. Three weeks immunity from inquiry or prosecution. later the defence secretary John Reid assistance given to Letters from the permanent secretary turned up to deploy his subtle charms. at Britain’s Ministry of Defence, Sir Somehow the deal survived, and last Kevin Tebbit, show that he prevented week his successor, Des Browne, signed any other business, the ministry’s fraud squad from the agreement. All of which raises a investigating the allegations against second question. Why are government writes George BAe; that he failed to tell his minister ministers, even Blair himself, prepared about the investigation by the Serious to reduce themselves to hawkers on Fraud Office; and that he tipped behalf of our arms merchants? Monbiot off the chairman of BAe about the Readers of this column will know contents of a confidential letter the that British governments are not fraud office had sent him. When the averse to helping big business, even US government told him that BAe had when this conflicts with their stated allegedly engaged in corrupt practice in policies. But the support they offer the the Czech Republic, Sir Kevin failed to defence industry goes far beyond the inform the police.

12 noseweek October 2006 And in South Africa...

N 1998, WHEN the arms deals were And when forced to choose a trainer negotiated, the SAAF had no need aircraft, the SAAF preferred the Cape Town and suburbs for a new fighter aircraft, having Italian Aermacchi above BAe’s Hawk I tel 0861 422 426 taken delivery in 1997 of 38 top-of- trainer, but its political masters chose the-range Cheetah C fighters. These to buy the vastly more expensive – and fax 021 419 7484 email [email protected] had a 15-year lifespan, planned life less suitable – Hawk. extension until 2020, and had been The South African Government equipped at great expense with over- had an offer from Aermacchi for 24 the-horizon target detection and MB339FDs at a total cost of around missile engagement capability, without of US$518 million. At the same time par south of the Sahara. Neither the British Aerospace were offering 24 SAAF nor the Department of Defence Hawks at a total cost of US$1.169 were ready for a new jet fighter. These billion. The Ministry of Defence’s are the facts. unchallenged technical and price A few hundred million Rand spent evaluation showed that the Aermacchi on upgrading the Cheetah Cs in 2012 MD339FD scored 100,0 points and the would have kept them operational until BAe Hawk scored 90,2 points. at least 2017 or 2022. Having spent A British government minister R2,5 billion in 1990 on the Cheetah finally admitted in the British Cs (probably equivalent to R10 billion parliament last year that bribes had in 2006), no wonder the Chief of the been paid to secure the BAe contracts SAAF concluded that the SAAF would with South Africa, but pleaded that be severely financially strained by they were “within acceptable limits”. acquiring the Gripen and its Siamese British researchers estimate these twin, the Hawk. bribes amounted to £160 million The South African government (R1.750 billion), but don’t yet know Recover by the sea nevertheless insisted on buying Gripen how they were split between the armony Homes is a small fighters from Sweden’s Saab (in which British Labour Party, the ANC and Hprivately run enterprise BAe has a major shareholding), and their middlemen. in Port Elizabeth that offers Hawk trainers from BAe itself. With the tacit approval of the British accommodation, meals and The Gripen is not only very government, BAe maintains a spider’s limited counselling to those expensive to acquire and maintain, web of front companies in the Cayman recovering from drug/alcohol it has a very modest combat range, Islands, Virgin Islands, Switzerland addiction. There is a house unsuitable for the long distances across and other banking centres to launder manager, but no trained staff Southern Africa. It will require in- bribes to politicians and political or treatment facilities. Our small house in Newton Park flight refuelling, a capability the SAAF parties. is best suited for those well on the way to recovery, has almost lost. whose main requirement is safe accommodation, plus some limited supervision. Residents attend evening SANCA meetings. There is an all-in monthly charge For 14 years, the UK government confidential email from a civil servant of R3000 (can be reduced for those in genuine need), has suppressed a report by the suggested that the trade minister, plus R500 deposit for drug tests. Contact David National Audit Office into the Al Richard Caborn, was seeking to gather Edwards at [email protected] Yamamah deals. Earlier this summer “background/dirt on him in order to the auditor general refused even to rubbish him.” Caborn claims he was hand it over to the Serious Fraud misrepresented. Office. A parliamentary committee on The only arms dealers to have been NOSEWEEK IS arms exports published a report this prosecuted since 2000 are five very ESSENTIALLY HOT! month which expresses its repeated small fish. All of them escaped with frustration over the government’s a small fine or a suspended sentence, reluctance to assist its inquiries. including a man who made repeated It also shows that Mark Thomas, attempts to export military parts to the stand-up comedian, has done Iran. Compare this to the treatment SO ARE more to expose illegal arms deals than of those who upset the arms industry. the Ministry of Defence, the Export Nine anti-war campaigners in Derry Control Organisation and HM Revenue who occupied the offices of the arms and Customs put together, simply by company Raytheon have just been searching the internet and the trade charged with aggravated burglary and press and attending the arms fairs the unlawful assembly. If convicted, they TRY ONE. British government hosts. In response, could be imprisoned for years. THEY’RE GREAT! the government has investigated not Every government policy designed to 0861JEEVES (533837) the companies, but the comedian. A protect national interests or promote

noseweek October 2006 13 Arms deal

world peace is torn up at the arms companies have been supplying parts shows that 39% of all the senior public companies’ request. They are not for its Apache helicopters and F-16 servants who go to work for the private supposed to sell to dodgy regimes or bombers? The government seems to see sector are employees of the ministry countries in the midst of conflict. So the escalating dangers in the Middle of defence, moving into arms firms. let them first export their arms to the East as nothing but an opportunity for In return, scores of arms dealers are Channel Islands, from which they business. seconded to the ministry. The man who can be re-sold. Weapons may not be Perhaps most damning is this. Blair runs DESO, for example, previously exported to any country unless it shows claims that Britain’s security comes worked for BAe, selling arms in the “respect for human rights”. So get first. Yet one of the means by which Middle East. the foreign office to note “a small but his government managed to secure CAAT lists the government significant improvement” in the Saudi this deal was to speed it up. How? The committees stuffed with arms government’s performance and use Sunday Times reports that “the first 24 executives, the donations, the lobbyists, that as your excuse. planes for the Saudis will be those at the Labour peers taking the corporate Should we be surprised to find, as present allotted to the Royal Air Force, shilling, and I am sure all this plays The Times has revealed, that Israeli with the RAF postponing its deliveries an important role. But it seems to soldiers have found night-vision until later in the production run.” In me that there is also something else equipment made by a British company other words, the Saudis’ perceived need at work. There appears to be a sense in Hizbullah bunkers? Should we be for fighter planes takes precedence among some of those at the core of surprised to discover that despite a over our own. government that peace, human rights government commitment to sell Israel So why does Her Majesty’s and democracy are for wimps, while “no weapons, equipment or components Government behave like a subsidiary the serious business, for real players, which could be deployed aggressively of BAe? A report by the Campaign is war and the means by which it is in the Occupied Territories”, British Against the Arms Trade (CAAT) enacted.

Gainful employment The appointment of two former public servants to private- sector jobs would be regarded as corrupt in many countries

EWS OF TWO interesting new ap- In many countries such appointments pointments reached noseweek would be regarded as corruption, lead- as we went to press. First off, ing to criminal charges being brought retired Rear Admiral (Junior against both them and their employers. Grade) Jonathan Kamerman Jonathan Kamerman was in charge Nof the SA navy – and the department of the acquisition of the South African of defence’s point man for the corvette navy frigates, and signed the acceptance deal – has joined German ship-building documents for the first two frigates as conglomerate Thyssen-Krupp as vice they arrived. Kamerman also gave some president of their sales department, rather creative evidence at the hearings based in Hamburg. into the arms deal that were conducted Thyssen is one of the companies cur- by the Public Protector. rently under investigation in Germany Despite what the Department of De- for allegedly paying bribes to secure its fence and the Navy may tell the public, share of the deal. the Frigates are not a great success. Hello sailor (and goodbye): Admiral Secondly, Mr Lisa Manchu has joined They have severe problems with their Kamerman (right) at the arms-deal hearings in 2001 Prodiba – the company that makes the radar and the guns don’t work properly. South African driver’s licence. There are also problems with at least We thought the public should know one ship’s drive shafts. about these appointments, because noseweek’s source in Simonstown you can bet your retirement home in says the worst of the ships are frigates Voss – now part of the Thyssen-Krupp Houghton and your Cayman Island numbers one (Anatole) and three (Spio- group. Although frigate number three bank accounts, that neither companies enkop), where there are serious wiring has not yet been accepted, it will be nor individuals concerned will be an- and electrical problems. These frigates impossible for the navy not to accept nouncing their new jobs. were built in Hamburg by Blohm and her, as Anatole, with similar problems

14 noseweek October 2006 and defects, has already been accepted court to defend himself, Young won. Asked what he thought about Kamer- by Kamerman. Kamerman then begged the court for a man’s new appointment, Young said Apparently the major problem is “recission” – another hearing where he he was “sickened.” At least the public that all manner of electrical cables are could actually defend himself. Young may be spared the spectacle of Kamer- laid out next to each other and their tells noseweek the new hearing is still man defending himself in court against electro-magnetic fields interfere with pending. As both he and Kamerman Young’s defamation suit. Our money each other, largely due to the vessel’s are on the witness list against Schabir is on him staying in Germany where combat suite. Kamerman gave evidence Shaik, it was decided to wait until after South African civil courts have no to the Public Protector that the combat Shaik’s appeal. jurisdiction. suite developed by Cape Town business- Kamerman, currently based in Ham- And then we have Lisa Manchu, who man Dr Richard Young was merely a burg, failed to respond to noseweek’s was, before joining the private sector, a “technology demonstrator” and that questions sent to his new email address. Department of Transport boss. In 1997 it was thus perfectly understandable Readers may remember that Kamer- Prodiba (a consortium of which Schabir for the navy to go with the alternative man received cash gifts from Schabir Shaik’s Kobitech and French defence Thomson CSF (now Thint) combat suite. Shaik’s ADS before he signed the con- supplier Thomson CSF, now Thales, are But Young’s suite used fibre-optic cables tract giving Shaik’s company the con- members) won the contract to supply rather than copper wires, because fibre tract to supply electronic components new drivers’ licences to the department optics do not have electro magnetic and the combat suite. The draft reports of transport. Almost immediately a fields… into the Auditor General revealed this mysterious pattern of selfless generos- Young sued Kamerman for defama- – and also observed that Kamerman’s ity began to emerge: Shaik paid for tion for alleging in his testimony that story to the Public Protector about the former Transport Minister Mac Young compromised national security Young’s products differed to the yarn he Maharaj and family to visit Disneyland. by exposing offical documents. When told investigators. In short Kamerman A criminal investigation was launched the Rear Admiral failed to appear in committed perjury. into this and other bribes given to Ma- haraj. Scorpions spokesman Makhosini Nkosi told noseweek it was not policy to comment on investigations. The Department of Transport claimed That tender touch that the supplied driver’s licence card met international design standards. Evidence during the Shaik trial showed A NAVY CHIEF, Vice Admiral military requirements – at about this was not the case – for one thing Johannes Mudimu, claimed in 200% of the price at which it could the bar code on the licence was around Sa recent interview about the have got Bazan 590B frigates a third too small to be read with the country’s controversial arms deal from Spain that did meet the handheld card readers – special readers that the Navy had merely “stated requirements. had to be custom built and bought at its requirements”, and from there If one does the arithmetic that’s extra expense to the public. When the the matter had been taken forward a bum deal by a factor of four. contract to print and supply the licences by other government agencies. Our new Navy chief claimed in came up for renewal all bets should “Who gets a tender from which the same interview: “We said we have been against Prodiba having its country, the Navy is not involved,” needed surface combatants, we licence renewed. It was. he said – the implication being needed anti-surface ability. We got The official who renewed the contract that the navy could not have had all those things …”. That’s not true – without putting it out for tender or anything to do with any possible either. consulting with the Treasury – was, you corruption in the arms deal. In the case of the corvette guessed it, Lisa Manchu... But that, of course, is nonsense. combat suite (the ship’s Collen Msibi, spokesman for the In the case of the corvettes, the computerised weapons control department of transport says: “There bidding phase of the acquisition system), the SA Navy stipulated was a disciplinary hearing. But I wasn’t was managed by a high-level anti-surface and anti-submarine around at that time. I have to check up Project Control Board and lower- capabilities – but allowed the to find out what happened.” level Joint Project Team that latter to be scrapped in the course We nose what happened. Manchu included no less than 30 SA Navy of final contract negotiations resigned – before his disciplinary men – ranging in rank from Lt to hide the inflated cost of the inquiry could be concluded – and joined Commander to Vice Admiral inferior combat suite offered by Prodiba. Leaving a job in the public – including the former Chief of the the politically favoured French service to take up a post with a private Navy and Chief Director of Naval defence supplier Thomson-CSF company with which you have had Warfare. (now Thales International) and official dealings is commonly known as For the more modest corvettes its South African subsidiary ADS “revolving door employment.” In many originally requested by the SA – hullo Shabir. All of this clearly countries such dealings are illegal. The Navy, the policitians insisted on with top-level cover from Chippy reason being that such deals allow offi- buying from Germany bigger, Shaik, Jacob Zuma, Defence cials to negotiate employment contracts much more expensive MEKO Minister at the time Joe Modise with companies in return for giving 200SA frigates – five of them – but and Thabo Mbeki, then Deputy them massive contracts. The cost of the which met only 50% of the Navy’s President. employment is built into the contract – and is to all intents and purposes a bribe.

noseweek October 2006 15 Scam of the month

Something blue at Something Fishy

Bedford Centre in Bedfordview. When cops shrugged Smart casual in fawn slacks and a jersey, Charles arrives late for their 11am coffee shop rendezvous. He and said there was tells Bev that he represents a co-op in Zambia that manufactures ostrich nothing they could and crocodile skin goods – golf bags, handbags and belts. Based in Botswana, he wants someone in Johannesburg do about a bunch to act as middleman; if he allows the co-op to deal directly with customers he, Charles, would get cut out of the KAMERAZ of con artists selling picture. Bev will pose as the buyer, he Pictures: Pictures: worthless pieces of explains. She will then sell the goods on. Charles will take 80% of the profits, Bev will receive 20%. glass, as tanzanite “You’re like a smokescreen,” explains AFETY AND SECURITY minister Charles Charles. “Our previous middleman, an Nqakula recently declared – for a few hundred Australian named Dr Kevin Brown, that South Africans are far too made a lot of money during the three tolerant of criminals – and urged years of our association.” all law-abiding citizens to take a thousand bucks apiece Almost as an afterthought, Charles Sstand. So when two such citizens were tells Bev that he also imports precious targeted in a tanzanite scam and the – a pair of amateur stones such as tanzanite, tourmalines cops said there was nothing they could and sapphires, from the same co-op in do, John and Bev decided to take on the Zambia. crooks themselves. sleuths arranged their The co-op’s representative is arriving The drama unfolds over four fast- in Johannesburg the following day and moving days in August, and begins own counter-sting Charles suggests they meet him in the with a call to Bev’s cellphone as she sits morning. The supplier is “a member of “ reading in the lounge of her Bryanston President Kaunda’s family” and Charles home. reminds Bev to “dress the part”. “Is that Bev?” enquires a friendly, From her car, Bev phones her partner well-spoken voice. The caller announces John, who is anxious to hear all about himself as Charles Malacsi, from this “unique business opportunity”. Francistown in Botswana, presently “I was a little uncomfortable and told on a visit to Johannesburg. He says John it was all very strange.” She calls he was given Bev’s business card by a Charles to say she is bringing John “Mr Johan” who worked with her at a along for the next day’s meeting. well-known company in Johannesburg. The following morning Charles Charles has this “unique business arrives at the coffee shop with a opportunity” that he’d like Bev to get leather-jacketed man named Colin, who involved with. has “just arrived from Botswana”. They “There were two Johans where I used have no car, so set off in John’s BMW to work, so it sounded quite believable,” for Isando, where Charles says they says Bev. She thus agreed to meet are to meet the Zambian supplier, Mr Charles the following morning at the Amos Mumba, at (you guessed it) the

16 noseweek October 2006 Something Fishy fast food restaurant. “Only R480,000?” says Charles. On the way, Charles reminds Bev to “Well, seeing it’s our first transaction pose as the customer and not reveal she I’ll offer you R500,000 as a gesture of is acting as middleman. He also tells goodwill,” is the response. Williams the couple that Amos supplies tanzanite says it will take him a couple of hours “as big as golf balls”, which, on average, to arrange for his Sandton office to get fetch R320,000 for two uncut pieces. the money together. In the meantime Tanzanite, prized for its exquisite violet- he has to return to his jewellery shop. blue hues, is a rare gemstone found only “When he said R500,000 I nearly fell in the foothills of Mount Kilimanjaro off my chair,” recalls Bev. in northern Tanzania. The untrained Back in the car, Charles announces: eye has difficulty telling the real thing, “Now we have to see Amos and offer uncut, from a lump of blue glass. him a price for the stones. Offer him no At Something Fishy they find Amos, more than R240,000 and tell him the tall, balding and smart in a grey suit. stones have some flaws in them.” He Bev, whose main interest is in the adds generously: “Since John has been ostrich products, is disappointed when so helpful, we’ll split the profit 50:50 Amos explains they are held up in this time.”

a bonded warehouse at the airport. “I’m not prepared to lie to Amos,” However, he adds: “I do have some says John, “but I will negotiate a price tanzanite that is supplied to our co-op THE WARTHOG: Police identikit specially of about R220,000 with him.” by partners in Tanzania”. Quick as a created for noseweek of ‘Ashley Williams’, a Before they know it, they’re back with member of the fake-tanzanite syndicate flash, Amos passes a plastic bank bag

containing two lumps of something to Colin, who thrusts it into his pocket before John and Bev can examine it. goes off with the tanzanite “to have it CAST LIST Charles tells Amos that John and Bev valued by Mr Ashley”. And 20 minutes (in order of appearance) want to take the tanzanite to their office later Ashley Williams arrives at Mugg in Kempton Park and have it analysed. & Bean. “ The syndicate: “No problem,” says Amos. “It’s my gesture Walking with a limp, a large dewdrop Charles Malacsi Mid 30s, medium of faith, letting you take the product for wart hanging off the end of his nose, build, fairish skin, friendly, well- valuation without paying for it.” Ashley Williams is well-groomed in spoken. Supposed import/export “We didn’t know what the hell was cream shirt and brown slacks. But trader from Francistown, Botswana. going on,” recalls John. “We were to Bev and John he seems “a bit Colin Mid/late 30s, chubby cheeks, very dark complexion. Charles’s business partner, also supposedly from Francistown. Amos Mumba 40s, tall, good- They are better than Afgem’s tanzanite. If I were to looking, confident and polished. Supposedly from a Zambian co-op grade them on a scale of 100, they would be 105 manufacturing ostrich and crocodile – Ashley Williams skin products. Ashley Williams aka The Warthog 30-35, black slicked-back hair, large interested in the ostrich and crocodile nervous”. He’s “left his business cards dewdrop wart on end of hook nose, products – and I don’t have an office in in the office”, but tells them his family jug-handle left ear, walks with limp. Kempton Park!” business of Williams & Associates has Supposedly of Williams & Associates “Don’t worry about it,” Charles been in the tanzanite and diamond of Sandton City, maintainers of “assures them as they leave Amos business for generations. The company Queen Elizabeth’s crown. behind in Something Fishy. “We’re holds the sole mandate to “service Sipho Large, bit of a beer belly, going to meet the buyer, Mr Ashley Queen Elizabeth’s crown” and supplied supposedly from Francistown. Williams, who has a jewellery shop in the tanzanite for Princess Diana’s Amos’s luckless gofer. the Festival Mall at Kempton Park. Mr engagement ring. Ashley is going to give us a price on the “Sorry to take so long valuing the two The good guys two pieces of tanzanite; then we’ll go tanzanite pieces, but I needed to be very Bev Attractive blonde marketing back to Amos and tell him how much careful checking the uniformity of the consultant. we’re prepared to pay him for them.” colour in each of the stones,” he says. John Mid-50s, ex army captain, Charles adds that Mr Ashley has been “How do they compare to the tai kwondo black belt and CEO/co- buying tanzanite for many years, tanzanite sold by [JSE-listed] Afgem?” owner of diamond-cutting factory. spending around R320,000 for each asks John. “Well, to be honest they are Bev’s partner of 11 years. transaction, on behalf of a customer in better than Afgem’s tanzanite,” replies Malemela Former police inspector Toronto, Canada. Williams. “If I were to grade them on a and John’s head of security. At Kempton Park, Charles announces scale of 100, they would be 105.” Khaya A serving police sergeant and they aren’t going to Mr Ashley’s Then to business. “I propose a price friend of Malemela. jewellery shop; they’re meeting him at of R480,000 for the two pieces,” says the Mugg & Bean coffee shop. Charles Williams.

noseweek October 2006 17 Scam of the month

Amos, who happens to be in the area the superintendent. “We arrest these stones”. “No, no, we can see what’s visiting a sick friend at the Kempton guys, they go out on bail and disappear. happening, we don’t want a hiding,” medical centre. In a nearby coffee shop It’s a waste of police time.” is the reply. Meanwhile Malemela Amos agrees to sell them the tanzanite “Well, there’s something we can do. has spotted a silver Mercedes SL 600 for R250,000. My head of security and I are going to cruising the car park, observing the And finally – the sting. sort these guys out ourselves!” replies goings-on. “We wanted to take the stones, sell John. “Good luck to you” says Van John phones Ashley to come on over, them to Ashley Williams for R500,000 Rensburg. but The Warthog’s been tipped that and bring R250,000 back to Amos,” says John then sets his own sting. He the sting is blown – his phone’s on John. “But Amos said no – he wanted a phones Amos and Charles and tells voicemail. deposit.” them he has the R60,000. They arrange Malemela and Khaya drag Sipho off John suggests R1000. Amos wants to meet at Mugg & Bean in Kempton to a police station, where the hapless R60,000. Park the following afternoon at 2.30pm. gofer is vigorously interrogated until Warning bells ring for John. As Bev John arrives and settles at an midnight, when he is released, in offers to write a cash cheque, John sits inside table. Security chief Malemela, damaged condition. “Malemela was very drumming his fingers on the table. accompanied by a friend, a serving annoyed, because it was me who had “Just hold on,” he tells Bev. And to police sergeant in plain clothes, who been targeted,” says John. “He wanted Amos, abruptly: “I’m late for a meeting. we’ll call Khaya, sits at a table outside. to protect me and make sure that there I’ll think about it and phone you later.” While John waits for Charles and would be no more problems from this In the car he tells Bev: “I think this is Amos to arrive, a large, well-dressed syndicate.” a scam. There’s something wrong here, man approaches John, says his name While Sipho is being worked over at but I don’t know what it is.” is Sipho and he’s working for Amos. “I the police station, John makes his last Hardly are the words out of John’s believe you’ve got something for me?” calls to Charles and Amos. Both admit mouth than his cellphone rings. It’s asks Sipho. the “tanzanite” is worthless glass and Ashley Williams. “I’ve got the R500,000. Malemela joins them and fires the intention was “to rob Bev; we were It’s ready now, in Sandton,” says The questions at Sipho. Sipho’s nerve goes. told she’s very rich”. They confirm that Warthog. He starts shaking and decides to make the gang members are South Africans.

Pictures: John finally reaches Ashley Williams, who admits he is part of the syndicate

KAMERAZ “and has been doing this for years”. John’s message to Charles and Amos is short and to the point. “If you ever contact Bev again I’ll kill you.” Looking back, John says: “It’s so slick when it’s happening and it’s happening at such speed. If you say: ‘why didn’t you examine the stones?’ there’s no time; they’re moving you all the time.” Superintendent Henk van Rensburg, THE REAL THING: Cut and uncut genuine tanzanite (left) and the fakes of the police’s diamond and precious metal group, tells noseweek that the syndicate operates in ever-changing “I was barely talking to John at this a run for it. Malemela, fit and strong, groups of five or six. “They don’t want stage,” says Bev. “He’d blown my deal! goes after him, grabs him by the belt, their faces to be well-known in a certain Amos didn’t want a cash cheque, he lifts Sipho off the ground and slams him area, especially if they knock somebody wanted me to go and draw the cash against the wall. Outside he hurls Sipho for R50,000 or whatever. from the bank. If John hadn’t been into a chair next to Khaya. “They’re offering emeralds, rubies with me I would probably have done Khaya lifts his shirt to display or tanzanite and there’s nothing we something really stupid.” a police issue pistol tucked in his can do. There’s no law in South Africa “She was furious with me for waistband. Malemela grabs the regarding the sale of these stones. buggering up the deal and losing tanzanite from Sipho and flings it to We’ve only got legislation regarding R125,000 commission,” says John. the ground. The rough coating breaks diamonds, with the Diamond Act.” John’s suspicions increase when he to reveal that the “tanzanite” is in fact Surely, selling blue glass as tanzanite checks out the supposed address of blue glass. Khaya lands a series of rapid is fraud? “Yes,” agrees Van Rensburg. Ashley Williams’ Sandton City office slaps to Sipho’s face, nearly pitching “But if we arrest people like Ashley – 207 Sandton Towers. There’s no such him off his chair. Williams – or whatever name he’s place, and there’s no listing in the It’s a Friday afternoon and Mugg & using next – they just say: ‘I did try to phone book for Williams & Associates. Bean is packed. A middle-aged lady at sell the tanzanite, but I believed it was John brings in Malemela, a former the next table cries: “Oh, I can’t stand genuine’.” police inspector who is head of security violence! I’m an educator trying to The syndicate is expected to be at his diamond-cutting factory, and teach my kids about non-violence. He particularly active this November. tells him the story. John also calls shouldn’t be beaten up in a public place. “With people wanting to go on holiday Superintendent Henk van Rensburg, Can’t you take him around the corner and keen to make a few bucks, the head of the police’s diamond and and work him over there?” syndicate guys are on a roll,” says Van precious metal group in the Organised John now wants to pull in the others, Rensburg. “During November they’ll Crime Unit. “Not a lot we can do,” says and calls Amos: “Come and fetch your pitch up a lot.”

18 noseweek October 2006 Law Drunk and disorderly A Johannesburg businesswoman says that friends in high places helped Free State director of public prosecutions – and heavy drinker – Brink Ferreira, to have her evicted from their Bloemfontein home

HEN JOHANNESBURG was suspended, on full pay, ENTREPRENEUR Elsje from his position as director Groenewald of public prosecutions for met Advocate the Free State. According Brink Ferreira, to Kalyano Pillay, special Wthen Witwatersrand deputy advisor to National attorney general, at a cocktail Prosecutions Authority (NPA) party eight years ago, it director Vusi Pikoli: “Advocate was love at first sight. She’d Ferreira was suspended after finally found her soulmate, the NPA received several after a nasty divorce, and a serious allegations against father figure for her young him.” We could get no further son, Reinhardt. Little did she explanation from the NPA. know. Ferreira, Groenewald Groenwald’s story to now alleges, “drinks like a noseweek indicates that an fish and is always drunk”. investigation into Ferreira Ferreira first assaulted her, began last year, after she she tells noseweek, at Sun wrote to Advocate Pikoli City. Invited as a VIP guest detailing her experience with to the Miss South Africa Ferreira and claiming he pageant she took Ferreira had used his senior position along, but with free liquor and network of friends to abounding, he got drunk manipulate the justice system and embarrassed her. When in his favour. She was visited she later complained, back last December by an officer of in their room, he tried to the unit dealing with domestic strangle her. violence, and in February After an assault in August by police officers from 2003, neurosurgeon Dr Kimberley, who questioned WJ van Jaarsveld noted her in detail about Ferreira. in his medical report that Says Pillay: “An NPA internal Groenewald’s severe cervical investigation is currently spondylosis - damage to the taking place. We are not in neck vertebrae - was of a kind a position to provide any especially found in women further information as we do who have suffered “repeated not want to jeopardise this assaults”. He observes that investigation.” she reported to him a history Groenewald finally laid of such assaults, consistent a charge of assault against with the unusual level of the Ferreira on 8 August 2003. spondylosis. She would, he She alleges that he arrived thought, at some point need home drunk, and in an extensive surgery. Soulmates: Elsje Groenewald with suspended Free State director ensuing altercation struck In July this year Ferreira of public prosecutions Brink Ferreira her with such force that “I hit

noseweek October 2006 19 Law

the floor with the back of my head. He tried to strangle me several times and when I realised that he might kill me, I called the police and pressed charges of domestic violence against him”. The officers answering Groenewald’s call found Ferreira drunk and covered

in blood. She told them he’d arrived Picture: home like that, having drunkenly damaged himself elsewhere. Ferreira IMAGES24.co.za/Volksblad/ Emile Hendricks later claimed he had cut his hand in a fall at home, after taking a double dose of a prescribed medication, of the three beers and two glasses of wine he’d drunk at the office. In the following week, Groenewald was called by several of Ferreira’s friends and colleagues, asking her to withdraw the charge she’d laid at Parkweg police station. Advocate High friends: (front left to right) Judge E K W Lichtenberg (ex-judge president of the Free Meiring and the notorious Charlie State); Advocate Amanda Bester; and Judge President of the Free State High Court Landman, ex head of Brixton Murder J P Malherbe at the cocktail party held by Brink Ferreira (rear) last year and Robbery, advised her to drop the case, saying she had no leg to stand on and would find herself thrown into the There is in fact an earlier police before witnesses to marry her. When street. “They threatened me and my record of his drunken abusiveness. he bought them a house he promised son when I refused to drop the case.” Groenewald called the police in May to put it in both their names. Ferreira Groenewald did indeed withdraw, 2003, when Ferreira began assaulting himself denies making any such falsely stating that it had been the her after they returned home from promises and claims it was Groenewald first time Ferreira had abused her, a gathering in the presidential who wanted to get married. and that they intended going for suite of the Free State rugby union. She alleges in her letter that when counselling together. She withdrew, Ferreira’s drunken behaviour had Ferreira applied to have her evicted she told noseweek, because Ferreira become so outrageous that union from the house, he refused to use the and his lawyer, Nico Naude, pleaded president Harold Verster had quietly Magistrate’s Court, which recognises that Ferreira would lose his job, and asked Groenewald to take him away, “a live-in relationship on similar terms he promised to make amends. The saying he was “a disgrace to the legal to that of a marriage in community case file, carrying statements by the profession”. When she asked Ferreira of property”. Instead he ensured the arresting officers and various doctors, to accompany her, he swore at her in case was heard in the High Court. The is now with the NPA. front of the gathering, which included provisional application was heard by “ several judges and Judge Faan Hanke, whom Groenewald other VIPs. At home says should have withdrawn, as he the violence began. knew both of them well. The final case Superintendent was heard by Judge Olivier, at the Hardy Otto and request of Judge President Malherbe, a woman officer, both of whom are close colleagues arriving in response to of Ferreira. During the trial, Judge Groenewald’s distress Olivier described Groenewald’s call, found Ferreira evidence against Ferreira as irrelevant heavily under the to the matter, and “intentionally influence and gave slanderous”, designed to portray the him a warning. applicant in a “bad light”. Ferreira When Groenewald won the case. wrote to Pikoli, in Groenewald claims that August 2005, she was Bloemfontein Judge S Ebrahim facing a case brought told her she’d overheard the judges against her by Ferreira involved discussing the case, saying to have her and her that Ferreira should win. A week young son evicted after the trial, Malherbe and Ferreira from the Bloemfontein were photographed together by Die home the couple had Volksblad, at a cocktail party thrown shared – Ferreira had by Ferreira. moved out in late 2004. Groenewald tells noseweek that back Groenewald claimed in March 2000 Ferreira’s drinking she joined Ferreira, nearly cost him his life when thugs from Johannesburg, shot him in her driveway in Lonehill, Double trouble: Advocate Brink Ferreira after he had promised Johannesburg. Apparently he had

20 noseweek October 2006 arrived to visit, pleasantly inebriated was involved. Ferreira seems to have after a long day at the office, and repaid Jammine in odd ways. In went on drinking with Groenewald’s October 2003, with Ferreira getting lodger. At 8pm a raving Ferreira drunk and beginning to threaten her, KLC grabbed her house keys and went out Groenewald drove him to Advocate Business Consultants to his car, opening the security gate Jammine’s house, where he outdid to leave but refusing to give back her himself, breaking a glass and a Do you want to buy or sell keys. He seized her by the throat. chair, and stripping naked in front of a business in the Western Cape? Struggling to free herself she saw children and guests. He also stamped Any size or industry.

two men with guns coming up the on, and broke, Jammine’s foot. We drive – Ferreira broke off to accost have a copy of Ferreira’s cheque that Contact us for personal service. them and was promptly shot in the paid her medical bill. Tel 021 872 8800 Fax 021 872 8815 face. The men ran off as another car Ferreira also lied, she says, about or email [email protected] arrived. Groenewald and her son the theft in 2001 of his licensed

Reinhard, then six, were severely firearm. “Ferreira carelessly left his traumatised, needing months of pistol in his government-subsidised professional counselling. Ferreira paid vehicle. The vehicle was broken into for Groenewald’s therapy but refused and the pistol that was partially to pay for the child’s. visible from under the driver’s seat When Ferreira was discharged from was stolen.” She alleges that after “ hospital after several operations, getting the broken window fixed, including three brain surgeries, Ferreira made a sworn affidavit to his Groenewald welcomed him to her head office, claiming the pistol was posh house in Lonehill, south of stolen from the car’s boot.

I don’t know anything about my client For all your property finance requirements being alcoholic – does he drink? Gary Peterson Jenni Warrington 082 453 7374 083 280 2444 – Brink Ferreira’s attorney [email protected] [email protected]

www.bondman.co.za Johannesburg. There she became Groenewald says the NPA his full-time nurse, neglecting her have given her a raw deal for not successful national slimming business, prosecuting Ferreira, or charging him. “Elsje Health Club. Groenewald “The NPA has sent thousands of men claims she spent more than R200,000 who abused their wives or women Steve Banhegyi & Associates on Ferreira, “during and after his to jail but here is one of their own hospitalisation.” He promised, she doing the same thing and they are www.trans4mation.co.za claims, “to reimburse me for my not doing anything about it. I have 083 232 6047 financial losses when he got better, sent them my medical reports, I have Consulting in leadership, organisational change but it never happened”. eyewitnesses and hardcore evidence management, knowledge management, educational In 2001, when Ferreira was back on but not much has been done so far. media development, and storytelling his feet, former national director of “The man is earning around R60,000 Public Prosecutions Bulelani Ngcuka per month and has been suspended on transferred him to Bloemfontein. full pay. Ferreira is a free man and Ferreira repeatedly called her for enjoying his life, while I am nursing a hours, she says, from his office, and permanently dislocated arm and four I can’t find your cool pleaded with her to join him. When damaged vertebrae and have medical she had arranged her affairs she and bills of over R500,000.” I can’t find your golf game son Reinhardt moved. “The first step When noseweek phoned Ferreira he Nor can I find your car to hell” she calls it. refused to talk. His attorney, Mr R But I CAN find your water leaks In her letter to Pikoli, Groenewald Britz, says Groenewald’s accusations also makes other allegations. She against his client make “absolutely Using the latest technology writes that Ferreira once drove his no sense.” Which allegations, we with no guess work. luxury sports car into a tree, but ask? “Listen my friend, the matter instead of reporting the matter to his is sub judice as it is still pending in Greater Johannesburg insurance company, he had his friend the high court and therefore I cannot senior prosecutor Rika Jammine get explain anything to you.” And which (011) 763 6306 the car fixed. Jammine apparently matter exactly, is sub judice? Sorry, told the panel beater that her under- no explanation. Adds Britz: “I don’t Geldenhuis age son had caused the damage, to know anything about my client being explain why no insurance company alcoholic; does he drink?” Plumbing

noseweek October 2006 21 Medical cock ups The unkindest cut Pretoria woman left paralysed after surgeon botches routine operation

FTER A LIFE packed with travel Dr Jakes van der Westhuizen admin- and intrepid adventure, author istered a fusion from vertebrae T9 to Vierentia Beukes, 75, is today L1. In this procedure a titanium bar is trapped in a wheelchair, attached to the exposed spinal column, paralysed from the waist down and sections of bone culled from the Aand embroiled in litigation with the patient’s pelvis – called matchsticks orthopaedic surgeon she claims has – are laid on both sides of the exposed destroyed her life. area, to fuse and further strengthen Mrs Beukes is seeking R1.4m dam- the back. ages against Dr Jakes Van der West- When Mrs Beukes came out of the huizen, claiming he acted negligently anaesthetic she discovered she had no after a back operation left her a para- feeling from the waist down. Hospital plegic. Van der Westhuizen, a well staff contacted Dr Slabbert, who was known Pretoria orthopaedic surgeon on his way home. He thought that Mrs who has professional indemnity insur- Beukes might have developed a hae- ance through the London-based Medi- matoma (bleeding) and ordered that cal Protection Society, denies liability. she be prepared for immediate sur- Vierentia Beukes, it seems, has a gery to prevent damage to her spinal lot in common with the pioneering column. Efforts to contact Dr Van der feminist Irish aviatrix Lady Sophie Westhuizen were unsuccessful. Heath, who with bible, shotgun, tennis Dr Slabbert later told Mrs Beukes rackets, six tea gowns and a fur coat he found no haematoma, but he did aboard, was in 1928 the first woman discover that too many matchsticks to fly solo from Cape Town to England. had been implanted at the site of the Or with Gertrude Bell, famous for her fusion and were causing pressure on exploratory rambles into the Hejaz. the spinal column. He removed the In her 20s Vierentia embarked, with excess bone. her best friend, on a Vespa scooter During the night after this sec- safari through Mozambique and Zim- ond operation the feeling in her legs babwe. With her twin children still in returned and Mrs Beukes was able to nappies she roamed the Kalahari and move her toes. But when Dr Slabbert Namib on her own, and later in the visited her in hospital he was angry, Drakensberg climbed Cathedral Peak upset and tense. Mrs Beukes recount- and the Horns carrying only sand- ed to a family member how Slabbert wiches and a water bottle. At 60 she had told her: “I’m used to make people took up swimming and clinched seven who can’t walk, walk again. I’m not Northern Transvaal swimming records used to turning people who can walk for her age group. After the knife: Once active Vierentia into people who can’t.” Beukes has published several books, Beukes is confined to a wheelchair after a Dr Van der Westhuizen visited Mrs including The Killer Foods of the 20th botched medical procedure Beukes the day after the operations. Century and How to Avoid Them She told her family: “He could not look (1974) and The Complete Pet Bird me in the eye; he seemed to be highly Owner’s Handbook (1993). uncomfortable and had lost his usual But in 2004 that Mrs Beukes found and slowly become paralysed; or have demeanour of brisk self-confidence. All that her legs “wobbled” after she had an operation to remove the pressure he said was that Dr Slabbert “fiddled been sitting for a while. She consulted – a fairly routine procedure, usually with my fusion and moved the bone, Pretoria neurosurgeon, Dr Pieter Slab- having a successful outcome. now I don’t know if the fusion will bert, and tests revealed that spurs of The operation duly took place take and grow on.” bone known as osteophytes were caus- on 5 March 2005 at Pretoria East On subsequent visits Dr Van der ing pressure on her spinal column. Hospital. Dr Slabbert removed the Westhuizen observed it was a pity she There were two choices: do nothing osteophytes and orthopaedic surgeon had developed a haematoma – imply-

22 noseweek October 2006 Medical cock ups

routine with doctors performing back surgery that the patients have to show Veritas legal normal sensation and motor movement transcriptions in the lower limbs before they are sent Transcribers to Higher & Lower Courts in the out of the recovery room,” writes Bir- Western and Eastern Cape rell. “If there is any abnormality, for example abnormal pressure or a mis- Specialists in recording and transcribing of commissions, placed internal fixative, the patient can arbitrations, disciplinary hearings, immediately be taken back to theatre interviews etc. and any such mishap corrected as soon Vast experience in preparation of as possible, which theoretically mini- Happier times: Vierentia Beukes (right) and appeal records to High Court and her best friend, both in their twenties, about mizes the damage to the spinal cord or Supreme Court of Appeal. to set off on safari through Mozambique nerves. “As far as I can judge from the patient’s history, it does not appear Just ring us on (021) 424 4424 or fax at (021) 424 4555 that this was done, or if it was done, the spinal cord damage was not noted. ing that this had caused the paralysis. Based on the history that I have been NEED TO CATCH A SNAKE? Dr Slabbert subsequently told physi- given, what occurred was that too Africa’s premier snake catchers otherapist Elaine Erasmus: “The whole much bone, ie matchsticks and spon- (We’re not bad at sharks either) operation was a fuck-up.” giostan, was packed over the decom- Mrs Beukes returned to her home in pressed spinal cord area underneath Mercantile Investigation Pretoria’s Lynnwood Glen to discover the cross rod. This problem should not Litigation support the harsh reality of life as a paraplegic: have occurred, in my opinion, had due Recoveries & until the operations, she had worked care been taken...I am satisfied that resolutions part-time as a receptionist and book- this patient has a claim of negligence keeper for her 76-year-old dentist against Dr Van der Westhuizen.” Tel: +27+83 357 8555 husband Teddy, who has a surgery Mrs Beukes has also filed a com- www.vumbu.com at home. Continuing to help him was plaint against the orthopaedic surgeon impossible. with the Health Professions Council of Now wheelchair-bound, she and South Africa. This has placed in jeop- Teddy abandoned the top storey of ardy Van der Westhuizen’s planned their home. Physiotherapist Elaine emigration to Australia – before a Erasmus came twice a week and doctor can take employment abroad six months later some feeling was he has to obtain a Certificate of Good restored. But when Mrs Beukes saw Dr Standing from the council. One will COMPANY DIRECTORS Slabbert on 13 July last year he told not be issued to Dr Van der Westhui- Websec offers 24-hour online information on her: “You have improved, but you will zen while there’s a complaint pending directors of all SA-registered companies. never walk again.” against him. Low volume searches (1000 pa) for R2750 plus VAT. Mrs Beukes continued with a gruel- If a doctor’s penalty is disqualifica- ling exercise regime, often in tears. “I tion from practice, no certificate will be Contact [email protected] can’t sleep at night because of the pain; issued. If he is only fined, a certificate I can never escape pain during the will be issued but when he applies for day,” she told her family. “It destroys a job overseas he will be asked: “Have my fighting spirit and flings me into you ever been convicted of any unpro- despair and exhaustion. fessional conduct for which a penalty of “My life consists of saying: ‘Please erasure was not imposed?” can you?...Thank you...I’m so sorry to The HPCSA held a preliminary This space is a snip at bother you again, but can you please do inquiry into Mrs Beukes’ complaint on this or that for me?’ I hate it! I hate it!” May 24. Despite the odds stacked against In the meantime Dr Van der West- ONLY her, you can’t keep a gal like Vierentia huizen continues to operate at Pretoria Beukes down. With her wheelchair in East hospital. He’s just back from a the boot, she and her husband set off two-week trip to Australia, says his on yet another adventure – visiting the secretary at his Faerie Glen consulting R1050... guesthouses and holiday destinations rooms. “We don’t know when he’ll be of South Africa to discover how friendly leaving for good.” they were for the disabled. The result: The surgeon did not respond to our another book, Happy Holidays with a request to give his side of the story. Wheelchair, which is being considered From her wheelchair, Mrs Beukes, for publication by the Department of mother-of-four, with four grandchil-

Environmental Affairs and Tourism. dren, declines an interview with Why not try it for size? Court papers in her damages claim noseweek, saying: “I’m not a vindictive [email protected] include a report by orthopaedic sur- person, I’m just following the proper geon Tony Birrell. “It is standard legal route.”

noseweek October 2006 23 The Lotto Beware Greeks bearing graft

ANC bigwigs involved in the consortium that will run the national lottery deny knowledge of the tainted history of their ‘technical’ partner, Intralot, or its owner, tycoon and former Stasi agent Socrates Kokkalis

O ANC BIGWIGS have done it again, Russians wanted the money back they Buisness philosophy: Socrates Kokkalis this time hitting a R40-million- had paid to Sectro SA. (right) with Intralot’s CEO K Antonopoulos a-year per year Lotto jackpot. In July 1995 NSF President Boris Trade and Industry Minister Fyodorov wrote to Kokkalis: “Your fax Mandisi Mphahlwa has an- of 20 July 1995 upset and saddened me. Snounced that Gidani Consortium, I do not want to believe that … people whose shareholders include ANC I have been connected with for years, money being “laundered” through these heavyweights, is to take over as the can deny what we agreed upon this accounts, and some of it then being new national lottery operator from April year in Athens during that weekend used to pay bribes. It also emerged that next year. Gidani’s “technical” partner we spent together. I demand that you Kokkalis had been an agent for the Sta- is Intralot, a company owned by Greek comply with the procedure in force, or I si, East Germany’s feared secret police, tycoon Socrates Kokkalis, 67. shall resort to law … and … also declare using the Mafioso code name Rocco. No doubt Gidani Consortium is happy Olympic Lottery bankrupt and propose A German Bundestag Report pub- to associate itself with a man who has the end of its operation to the Russian lished in 1998, in which all former Stasi donated $5-million to Harvard Universi- finance ministry. I think you will agree agents were “named and shamed”, led ty, and who is ranked among the world’s and make amends.” to Kokkalis becoming the first Greek top 500 billionaires by Forbes Maga- When the NSF eventually realised to be charged with espionage. It was zine. But we reckon Kokkalis’ tainted – in July 2000 – that it was going to get alleged that he had continued spying for past will be back to haunt Gidani soon no joy from Kokkalis, it wrote to the Stasi even after he returned to Greece enough. Geneva prosecutor-general, Bernard – and that he used funds from Stasi to Intralot’s business profile boasts Bertossa, asking him to investigate start his multi-billion empire. that the company operates lotteries in Kokkalis and Sectro SA for fraud. In In consequence of the investigation, Turkey, Peru, Cyprus, Romania, Chile, this letter Kokkalis is described as “a the NSF opened a criminal case against Poland and Bulgaria. Did Kokkalis for- citizen of Greece and former DDR [the Kokkalis in Russia, and in February get to mention his Russian “business”? German Democratic Republic], known 2002, the Greek prosecuting author- In 1993 he got $15-million (R110-mil- for his hidden activities and his multi- ity slapped Kokkalis with criminal lion) from the Russian National Sports ple implications in numerous political charges ranging from espionage to fraud Foundation [NSF], to set up a lottery and commercial transactions.” and money laundering. After several – which never saw the light of day. The The ensuing investigation allegedly postponements the issue remains unre- NFS entered into an agreement with established that Kokkalis channeled solved. Kokkalis’ Swiss company Sectro SA in the money to secret bank accounts Kokkalis is the son of a renowned June 1993, but the company failed to belonging to companies whose owners Greek heart surgeon, Petros Kokkalis, fulfil its contractual obligations and the or shareholders were unknown, the who was a leading member of the com-

24 noseweek October 2006 munist-dominated National Libera- Kokkalis became a lotto kingpin when – where his friend Salonikis served as tion Front (EAM). At the age of five, Intralot became the first private compa- a board member. The soccer team has Kokkalis enjoyed the privilege of having ny to supply the Greek national lottery won a number of championships amid his own bodyguard when, in 1945, his with software to run their gambling ma- allegations that some of the games were father became health minister in the chines. Kokkalis’s lotto operations went fixed. well until in October last year, when Now Intralot has arrived in South Picture: it was alleged that the results of the Africa, thanks to its business partners lottery were rigged and that the betting in the ruling party. Mabindu Develop- Sunday TimesSunday games were used for money laundering, ment Trust, a non-profit organisation paying bribes and fixing soccer matches. set up by Cyril Ramaphosa, ANC The financial crimes squad launched national executive committee member an investigation when it appeared that and well-known businessman, has a there was a pool of specific winners, who 26% stake in Intralot in South Africa. won million of euros between 2002 and Maureen Mphatsoe, a spokesperson for 2004. Ramaphosa’s Shanduka Group, said The Greek newspaper Kathimerini she was not aware of any allegations reported that the investigation estab- made against Kokkalis, or Intralot. She lished that the same bunch of celebri- confirmed that the group’s link to Gi- ties, journalists, football officials and dani Consortium was through Mabindu referees – and their families and friends Development Trust. – were each week winning the lottery. Says Mphatsoe: “It must be made One of those lucky winners is Stama- clear that Ramaphosa is just a trustee tina Marmara, a high flyer and gambler of Mabindu Development Trust and who won around 11 million euros in two not a beneficiary. Shanduka Group is Money machine: Cyril Ramaphosa set years through Pame Stihima (“Let’s not involved at the Gidani Consortium up Mabindu Development Trust, a non- Bet”) lottery which is operated by In- level.” Mphatsoe referred all other ques- profit organisation with a 26% share in tralot. Marmara is the wife of Kokkalis’ tions to Bongani Khumalo, the chair- Intralot in South Africa close business associate, Giorgos Saloni- man of Gidani – who confirmed that kis, who used to be a board member of they had not researched the background Intralot. of Kokkalis or his company, Intralot. Readers might also note that Kokka- “They came to us highly recommended,” lis is the owner of Greece’s most popular he said. “We were not aware of their EAM revolutionary government. When soccer team, Olympiakos Piraeus tainted history.” the government collapsed in 1949, the Kokkalis family went to live in East Berlin. Dr Petros Kokkalis is still regarded as a struggle hero by the left in Greece. The young Kokkalis studied in the So- viet Union and the DDR. On his return to Greece he emerged “from nowhere” to become one of the most influential and prominent businessmen in the country. He teamed up with businessman Con- stantine Dimitriadis in 1974 to start his first company, Integra, which was an agent for the East Germany technology company, Elektrotechnik. Three years later Integra gave birth to Intercom Holdings and Kokkalis was on a roll. His ultimate breakthrough came on October 13, 1993 when his close political associate, Andreas Papandreou, was re-elected as Greek Prime Minister. Kokkalis allegedly bankrolled and funded Papandreou’s comeback campaign, and was rewarded with a lucrative contract, a monopoly in procurement for the state-run Hellenic Telecommunications Organisation. (Kokkalis’ generosity to Prime Minister Papandreou included lending his yacht to the prime minister and his mistress, Dimitra Liani, an Olympic Airways air hostess. Papandreou later divorced his wife, Margaret, to marry Liani.)

noseweek October 2006 25 NOTES & UPDATES

“Such a ruling is completely unheard of,” comments an advocate. “I don’t think the judge president has the Legal gloves off authority to strike the matter out like that. It would be eminently appeal- able.” In the event, Reichlin’s advocate in gym dispute Solomon decided not to take the risk of the tight time-frame and withdrew the action. Mojapelo ordered Reichlin to bear the costs of the day and her attorneys now have to seek a six- or seven-day single slot for the trial – for which they could wait for months. Was Solomon’s decision in withdraw- ing correct? “Yes,” says a legal expert. “Dorrestein’s advocate could have cross- examined a witness for three days, just to make sure they ran over.” Reichlin, who is bringing up three teenage boys on her own, is furious at the delay, as she believes she has a strong case. Its outcome will hang on the judge’s view of who is telling the truth over a verbal contract Reichlin claims was entered into between her- self and Michelangelo Hotel general manager Hans Prenner in October 2004. Crucial to Dorrestein’s case is his single expert witness, fitness trainer Mornay Butlion, who once worked with Reichlin at the Michelangelo gym when its lease was held by well-known personal trainer Esly Lombard. But- lion now runs the Legacy Fitness gyms for Nicky Dorrestein. Among court papers is Butlion’s “expert summary” N AUGUST, AFTER months of delay, trial Glove you: Jenny Reichlin and Justin Egling, of the Dorrestein gyms. His assess- was due to start in fitness trainer who are involved in a joint court action ment of the one at the Michelangelo: Jenny Reichlin’s R1.2m damages against Bart Dorrestein “an inferior facility”. His expert evi- claim against Legacy Group’s dence will include a scathing assess- multi-millionaire head Bart Dor- ment of Reichlin’s damages claim. Irestein. But deputy judge president To support his status as expert wit- of Johannesburg High Court, Phineas ness, Butlion has filed an impressive Mojapelo (see box on opposite page), advocate, Richard Solomon SC, told CV, which starts off listing his quali- handed down an unusual order, in fact Mojapelo that he thought the case fications: MSc Medicine, Wits BPhys one that advocates consider unprec- could, after all, be confined to five Ed(Hons). edented. days. Dorrestein’s advocate, Duncan However, at the University of the Readers will recall (nose75) that Turner, opined in turn that it could Witwatersrand, administration man- Reichlin took over the gym at Dor- run for six. ager Bronwyn Russell tells noseweek restein’s five-star Michelangelo Hotel Normally, if a case runs for more that there is no such thing as an hon- in Sandton City. Three months later than five days, it is postponed for ours degree in the BPhys Ed. “Butlion Reichlin was turfed out so Dorrestein’s completion at a future date. Instead, was a student in our department and daughter Nicky could include the facil- Mojapelo ruled that if the trial was did the four-year bachelor of physical ity in her new gyms division, Legacy not concluded by the end of the fifth education degree,” says Russell. “MSc Fitness. day, he would strike the matter out Medicine is a master’s degree. Butlion Earlier, in accordance with proce- and the whole case would have to be is registered for it, but hasn’t had his dure, Reichlin’s attorney Leslie Cohen re-tried at some other date. Further- graduation yet.” had written to Judge Mojapelo inform- more, Reichlin would have to bear the Among his current activities, But- ing him that the matter could run for costs of the abandoned trial (which lion states: “I lecture part-time at seven days. Mojapelo replied, however, with three advocates and two firms of Wits.” This comes as news to the uni- that he could offer no more than five. expensive attorneys, would be enor- versity. “To my knowledge, Mr Mornay At the high court roll call, Reichlin’s mous). Butlion has not been a lecturer in

26 noseweek October 2006 the Physical Education/ Among prestigious Human Movement Stud- clients of his “holistic Private Apartments ies division at the Univer- Healthwise approach to TO LET sity of the Witwatersrand lifestyle change within over the past four years,” the corporate environ- FULL FACILITIES • TV • SECURITY says Bronwyn Russell. ment”, Butlion lists law LONDON £80 per day* Another current activ- firm Webber Wentzel ity: “I instruct for the Bowens. A crisp note between Park Lane and Grosvenor Square Virgin Active Group of from Webber’s, however, NEW YORK $100 per day* gyms.” At Virgin Active, states: “We confirm that Midtown/E63rd & Madison Avenue Darren Jacobson, techni- Webber Wentzel Bowens PARIS €100 per day* cal specialist for personal has never employed the 206 Rue de Rivoli on Tuileries Metro Station training, tells noseweek: services of Mr Butlion.” “Mornay has an independ- As for Jenny Reichlin, CELL 082 445 1804 or Tel/Fax 021 712 1712 ent group training agree- she says her pre-trial EMAIL [email protected] ment with us for aerobics. legal costs in her bat- *Costs apply for stays of 3 or more days. He isn’t and has never tle with Bart Dorrestein Cost of 1 or 2 days extra 25%. been an employee person- are presently running al trainer or a franchised at more than R120,000. personal trainer. Dorrestein has made

“I have a note here from Grin reaper: Bart two offers to settle her the club manager at Old Dorrestein’s ‘expert witness’ claim – for R60,000 and Eds requesting Mornay to Mornay Butlion R75,000. Reichlin consid- stop his illegal personal ers these laughable and training there and one declares she’ll accept from Melrose Arch warn- nothing under R800,000. ing him not to use the studio for private Reichlin, backed by her socialite training. He’s been accessing our facili- mother Dalene Sofer, is now co-owner ties and doing personal training, on the of a new Rosebank slimming clinic, sly.” The Firm. Picture: Go to cell! IMAGES24.co.za/Rapport/ Clarence Muller

UDGE PHINEAS orders made recently by MOJAPELO, deputy His Lordship. judge president In the first, Mojapelo of Johannesburg was sitting in court High Court, is fast when the cellphone of emergingJ as eccentric, a member of the public as eccentric, in fact as sitting at the back the UK’s legendary Lord rang. The man hurried Denning when it comes outside to take the call. to issuing controversial On his return Mojapelo orders from the bench. fined him R5000 or 20 Mojapelo was one of days’ imprisonment, for the judges who recused contempt. themselves from sitting Just the other day, Judge Phineas Mojapelo in Jacob Zuma’s rape according to the lawyers’ trial, in Mojapelo’s case gossip machine, the on the grounds that he same thing happened considered it “highly to another luckless unethical” for him to try member of the public. days in prison – with “his former comrade” in On the offender’s return no option of a fine! the liberation struggle. from answering a call [We’d love to know the The legal fraternity Mojapelo sentenced identity of this man is abuzz about eccentric the poor wretch to 30 – Ed].

noseweek October 2006 27 Mammon Picture: Justin Reichlin Justin Prophet and loss

HARISMATIC PASTOR HENNIE Hancke, guest as leader of Hennie Hancke Ministries speaker at the Sunday evening International. Besides local proselytising, meeting in Centurion, holds his Hancke conducts crusades in the UK, adoring audience spellbound. Europe and Scandinavia. Frenzied clapping and Praise- The 36-year-old pastor, however, has Cthe-Lords erupt as the much-trumpeted Unknown scored best in the US, hailed there for “prophet” shows a video bearing tidings his “strong prophetic gift” and cross- of great joy: he’s raised US$4000 for their to adoring denominational revival crusades. When we new church roof – though they may have catch up with him at the Shalom Worship to wait a while until the money transfer acolytes in Centre he is scheduled to leave for the US comes through. to galvanise the masses at meetings in In joyful thanks, the 100-strong Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Kansas worshippers press banknotes into Centurion, and Oklahoma. the pastor’s collection box. Before the This fine Sunday evening Pastor Hancke evening’s done, the box is sent round diamond- is in smart casual rig, with expensive again, the Pastor urging just another R5 leather jacket and highly polished shoes. more from each and everyone. dealing Pastor What at first glimpse resembles the It makes for a handy little top-up for Cullinan diamond, on a ring on his left Pastor Hancke, evangelist preacher Hennie Hancke hand, is in fact a whole cluster of smaller and on-the-side director of Incredible sparklers. Accompanied by his blonde wife, Jewellery cc. For, unknown to adoring (above) is a Amanda, he arrives in a Pajero. acolytes, the pastor is a disgraced Besides the video and those all- insolvent, his estate sequestrated after he important cash collections, there’s a took three whopping diamonds on appro disgraced rousing sing-along, led by the pastor from a fellow worshipper and failed to in booming pseudo-American voice. He return or pay for them. insolvent singles out worshippers to receive his Despite his depressing – and carefully famed prophesies. concealed – status as an insolvent, Two days later Pastor Hancke was off on the pastor is flourishing in a new life his US tour, due to return to South Africa

28 noseweek October 2006 in November – when he’ll be met by a another of 2.02 carats (R104,745) and to any American – he had sold them subpoena ordering him to appear before a third of 1.81 carats (R85,081). Total himself for cash! the Master of the Pretoria High Court price tag: R369,043. Aucamp works closely with his to answer some unwelcome questions When Aucamp asked for his money, father-in-law, diamond merchant about his present earnings and assets. the pastor promised: “At the end of the Charles Malan of Malan Diamond Apart from whip-rounds at every week”. Cutting Works. To save the firm’s meeting he graces, these earnings Nothing. After two more weeks reputation, Aucamp paid the R369,043 include the kitty at the pastor’s own Aucamp asked again: “He promised me owing to Sher and Chalmers out of his Financial Support Group at Hennie and promised me,” says the dealer. “He own pocket. Hancke Ministries International. said the customer was paying him with Pastor Hancke finally agreed to pay The Support Group points out a credit card and it would take some Aucamp at R10,000 a month, plus that spreading the Gospel requires time for the money to come through.” 15.5% interest. He made two payments. resources, and issues a sign-up form Aucamp started to get worried, for Then… nothing. on the Internet, inviting monthly, they weren’t his diamonds. He in turn Aucamp went to the cops, who quarterly, annual or once-off had them on appro from two other opened a docket alleging fraud and contributions. And in the US, Marcus dealers who wanted their money. theft. When the case came up in the A Hobbs, pastor of the Living Word Finally, with Aucamp about to leave Pretoria regional court in August 2004 Church in Citronelle, Alabama, says on a famiy holiday, Pastor Hancke had magistrate Johnson threw it out. “When the Lord has prompted him to propose a the cash. But meeting Aucamp at the a person pays an existing debt with a $100 monthly contribution to “Brother last minute at the Diamond Centre worthless cheque it cannot be fraud, Hennie” from every American state in Parktown, Hancke claimed only because there is no prejudice,” said the where he establishes a home church. Nedbank’s main branch had enough beak, adding that the dispute was a His worshippers wouldn’t like the cash on hand – and there was a three- civil matter. saga of their revered pastor’s fall from hour time lock on the bank’s safe. They Before a civil summons could be Aucamp started to get worried, for they weren’t his diamonds. He in turn had them on appro from two other dealers who wanted their money

the straight and narrow, which began couldn’t get the money before Aucamp served, Pastor Hancke put himself into three years ago, with Pastor Hancke left town. voluntary liquidation. His Wonderboom calling on Willem Aucamp, diamond So the dealer reluctantly accepted home was mortgaged to Standard Bank dealer and fellow worshipper at the three cash cheques from Pastor Hancke, for R804,435 and in December 2004, Lewende Woord Pentecostal church in one for each stone. Their owners on the the liquidator sold it at public auction Pretoria. Hancke had, he claimed, an other hand, fellow dealers Bernie Sher for R1.2m. American customer wanting “three big of Unity Diamond Distributors and Total claims on the pastor’s estate stones”. Paul Chalmers of Diaxess Diamonds, totalled R1.7m. As preferential creditor, Diamond business operates on weren’t having any of it. They wanted Standard Bank got R853,363. Others, the basis of mutual trust. Stones cash. including Nedbank (claiming R457,844) worth millions are passed around Aucamp and family departed for the and Diners Club (R57,467) received on the shake of a hand. For several coast. Then came the call that ruined reduced payouts. years Aucamp had given the pastor his good time: Sher had just spotted one Willem Aucamp was awarded diamonds on appro for the Hancke of his stones in the possession of yet just R74,118 of his R369,043 claim, family’s jewellery shop in Pretoria’s another dealer. How was this possible? which after the pastor’s two monthly Magalieskruin shopping centre. Given demanded Sher. And said diamond, it payments, leaves him still singing for Hancke’s then clean record, Aucamp transpired, was on offer for less than the R274,925 balance. At the end of the readily handed over ten diamonds Aucamp had let it go to the pastor. day there was a deficiency of R706,743 worth R850,000 – cut, polished and Aucamp raced to the nearest on the pastor’s estate. ready to fit in rings – on the usual Nedbank and presented the cash Joint trustee Corné van Staden appro. cheques for payment. No good, declared revealed in his report to creditors that On the following day Pastor Hancke bank staff; the pastor’s account was Pastor Hancke had been declared phoned with news that his American bare. insolvent before. He was rehabilitated customer was taking three, and soon Back in Pretoria, a penitent Pastor in April 2002 – just a year before he returned the rest. Hancke arrived at Aucamp’s house. took his American customer diamond The three were the pick of the bunch: “The Lord has told me to confess,” said story to Willem Aucamp. a 2.86 carat beauty (price R179,217); the pastor. He hadn’t given the stones Of the deal with Willem Aucamp,

noseweek October 2006 29 Mammon

Pastor Hancke tells noseweek: “It was cheques of that size without the funds mysterious American customer. The a really, really tragic event. I was being available. My explanation was pastor has no name to offer, but involved in a transaction that just did it was purely for security reasons. describes him as “a commodities dealer not work out. Then Nedbank started questioning the from Los Angeles”. They are no longer “Mr Aucamp pressed charges and security for the facilities that I had, so in touch, he adds. took whatever steps he felt were it became one huge snowball. So he’s a full-time evangelist now, necessary. The criminal case was “Mr Aucamp’s civil case against me with his Hennie Hancke Ministries thrown out – there was nothing obviously became null and void due International? “Yes, after all this, that criminal to it. The magistrate obviously to my liquidation, but before that all is the direction I took,” says the pastor. threw the case out because there was no the credit card companies pulled in “I have an obligation to do what I’m criminal intent. my facilities. The whole connotation doing right now, trying to correct what “I gave Mr Aucamp three cheques, to this obviously lifted the eyebrows of has gone wrong.” one for each stone. I clearly told him the entire jewellery industry towards Is he making good money? “If you not to deposit them, they were just for us. People would not supply stones think you’re going to get rich out security until such time as the funds any more, would not give credit any of God you’re going to get a rude would be available. He then presented more, would not give consignment awakening,” he replies. “But people them to the bank. stock any more. We’re in the process of have really opened up their hearts. If “When these cheques arrived at the shutting down the jewellery business it wasn’t for friends who have helped Nedbank cashier to be cashed, their completely.” me out financially with gifts and business centre in Johannesburg made In his account to noseweek, Pastor contributions, we would have been out a call to me as to why I’m issuing Hancke resurrects the story of the on the street.”

30 noseweek October 2006 Readers’ consumer gripes

Accounting software’s bottom line

F ALL THE UNDERHAND marketing ploys, with version 6, having avoided being The real box said “One to three users” software upgrades and agreements scammed out of R18,000. but a sticker advised one to contact Omight well take the cake. Wanting to distance ourselves from Pastel if one wanted to put in another Some years back we were happily Pastel, we went looking at packages user. With our experience, we phoned doing our books using Brilliant software, at Incredible Connection, only to have Pastel from the shop, only to find that until, suddenly, Brilliant began our attention drawn to Pastel Express yes, it was a three-user licence, but for demanding an annual fee, although the – “one to three users” – for little more two more users we would pay an extra package had been purchased outright. than R4,000. Since this was a display R2,750. The salesman was surprised, With the public dissatisfaction that box, the salesman fetched us a package but we were not. arose, Pastel saw their opportunity and from the storeroom, and knowing a We bought QuickBooks! began marketing a product for outright thing or two, we read the small print. Softly-softly purchase without further licence fees. I should think half the country jumped at the offer and disposed of Brilliant. We purchased a five-user pack, for five individual computers. Naturally this didn’t last long: soon Taken for a ride by the court? enough, Softline, creators of Pastel, were asking an annual “support” fee, in return for which they supplied “free” updates. N AUGUST 2005 my friend sold her low- friend felt was an insult. This arrangement continued well enough mileage, very well looked-after Enter the small claims court. for four or five years. I Toyota Conquest, via another After putting together a full report, Then, early this year, we received friend of mine in the motor trade. and two trips to Cape Town, she another “free” update, which, the call In exchange he found her a 1993 appeared before a “commissioner” of technology being what it is, we Isuzu bakkie for R15,000 – from a in Wynberg Magistrate’s Court installed. Except – suddenly, only one friend of his in the building trade. who, she was unnerved to observe, user could use the thing. We phoned Voetstoets, of course. The car, we was rude and dismissive to people Softline to ask how to fix the problem, were assured, “had a little rust, is in preceding cases. When it came only to have the “consultant” ask: mechanically sound but the seller to hers, the last of the day, he “But my dear did you read the licence doesn’t want the hassle of getting appeared to side openly and agreement?” Famous agreement was the roadworthy certificate”. From joke with the defendant, allowed couched in the legalese of all software this distance one has to trust one’s evidence regarding me (not packages, which I doubt anyone ever friends! permitted in small claims unless reads completely. You know – yes, Turned out it was a 1991 model, the person is present), and finally yes you say, clicking your way along, used four litres of oil in 400km, dismissed the case. It appears he agreeing to who knows what. and needed a complete engine did not even read (let alone “apply In this case we’d changed our five-user overhaul (at a cost of R6000) to his mind to”) the documented licence to a one-user version, which, stop leaks; the brakes were shot, submission provided by my partner. through a file server, could be accessed the exhaust as bad, and the clutch So, be warned: Don’t believe for by five users. No longer could we take it on its last legs. The “little rust” one moment this hitherto accessible around on a laptop, or work from home. was R6000-worth of reconstruction branch of the law will give you a To work from another location we had to just to allow the windscreen fair hearing if you are a woman buy another pack for around R9,000 – or to fit ... all this just to pass the buying a car, or even take the time two locations for R18,000. roadworthy. to examine your case. So we told Softline we didn’t want Feeling it was unethical of And don’t ever buy a car from a the upgrade and please could we go the seller not to have disclosed friend of a friend, even if you are back to the previous version. No no! these obvious “latent and patent all good sailing buddies from the Once upgraded you cannot downgrade. defects” my partner asked for local Yacht Club. That is the law. I wrote asking if this a reduction in the price of the Nick Taylor was really the case, but got no reply. bakkie. My friend the dealer felt Last, but not least, don’t buy a Fortunately, our computer geek was up that, in the circumstances, the vehicle that does not come with a on these things and told them it was a price should have been about roadworthy certificate – unless you lot of bullshit. They meekly gave him R8000. His friend the seller offered own a motor repair workshop and the downgrade code and we were back R2000 off the price, which my like spending time there. – Ed.

noseweek October 2006 31 Web Dreams Marike Roth

The ugly ex-South Africans

HAVE A THEORY about the leanings of new South about colonialists for centuries to come, even African emigrants: liberals flock to Canada after Columbians (sic) are walking on the moon and New Zealand, non-politicals to Australia and selling cocaine there.” and England, and those who cry when they G: “I don’t like africans and so what. I have no hear Die Stem sneak off to the United States. problems with other people like Chinese, Japa- IThanks to now living in close proximity in the nese, Malaysian, Indian etc etc etc. Just africans US, and to the internet, I speak with some au- are useless. So in my opinion, I am not racist just thority on the matter. because I don’t like africans. I don’t even see them I have, you see, been checking into the to be human after all, so why should I be labelled RSA-Overseas.com message board where South The bunch of a racist. A racist is someone who only believes in African ex-pats share feelings, frustrations and the existance and survival of his own kind. I don’t koeksister recipes, in a never-ending debate con- expats who dream that kind of existance (sic) for white people cerning our beloved homeland, its aspirations, only, I give the Chinese, Japanese, Malaysian, crime rate – its future in a highly competitive have gone Indian etc people all a place in society.” and vibrant world economy... As a South African living in America, I’m con- Oh, who am I kidding? It’s outright war, baby, stantly reminded of the typical Yank’s charmingly where nothing is sacred: a fascinating study in Bush pore naïve love of country. It’s a bit syrupy, a bit child- the perverse psychology of the South African ex- ish, sometimes rather comical. It’s also a little pat. Unlike the lawsuit-conscious Mail & Guard- over every creepy. But the love is real. South African expats ian bulletin board, RSA-Overseas is not moder- have equally strong feelings for their country of ated for “offensive, unlawful breaches of codes morsel of birth. These feelings are as heartfelt as those of of conduct”. The site is In Your Face: no political the “ugly” American – but twice as entertaining. correctness, no polite social discourse. bad news AAA: “I once exclaimed brightly to an Amer- On a thread about SA urging retired profes- ican that we have no natural disasters where I sionals to return to help tackle a skills shortage, from home come from, no hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, Lynne says: “Forget it. Let them beg.” G says: earthquakes, mudslides etc. The words were “They have been begging since humans discov- barely out of my mouth though and the real- ered them on their continent hundreds of years are like the isation hit me like a bolt of lightning, we do! ago. It will always be like that.” They’re called kaffirs.” Booo says, “Fuck all those useless kaffirs in guy dumped Strider: “I call a spade a shovel and I choose africa. I hope they all vrek soon, fucking fifth to be factual with my postings. Embezzlemunts, day creations, along with all the other animals. by the only gravymunts, thievemunts, rapemunts, travel- Pity it is a protected specy (sic) and you are not gatemunts, no powermunts, Armsgatemunts allowed to hunt it like it hunts humans in return girl he ever and fucking inefectualmunts are my target as for their money and belongings.” they are fucking SA up.” AAA: “I remember how Koevoet used to sling loved: he’s so RSA-overseas has racial insults by the boat- the carcases (sic) of those marxist heathen over load. Sexual insults and innuendo? Ditto. Per- the rear step of the Kaspir after they chased them sonal insults? Need I say it? Hate speech? Name down. How I long to see one more great hunt of over her that the target: an expat South African out there the murdering heathen. Give me that FN rifle and hates it and will be glad to say so. give that murdering bastard of a godless human he drives In response to a thread about the Muslim jackal a 3 hour start in the crisp morning.” outrage at the Danish cartoonist depicting You couldn’t say that at the office nowadays, past her Mohammed with a bomb for a turban, RIP-01 could you now? says: “I am offended by the way you rule wom- A beguiling thing about the internet is its house every en – exploit children – run your lives – the way brutal honesty. Stripped of social inhibitions you pray – the wailing of the Muezzin – the by pseudonymity, we surfers of the net may night loudspeakers on your Mosques; I am offended by reveal to complete strangers what we’d hide your very existence!” from friends and lovers. In all kinds of ways, the Not even Nelson Mandela is spared. Don, “virtual reality” of the internet is more real than responding to an article in the Sunday Times anything you’ll find in Real Life. where Nelson Mandela told of his exploits as a Village Idiot: “What the whiteys did in Af- pig thief, says: “Why they fawn over this trash is roland most definitely was not nice but what beyond me. What a violent piece of filth he is too. Afroland did was sweet fuck all. The euros saw They say it starts with animals, and then ‘pro- a bunch of fools and took them to the wire. Now gresses’ to humans. He got blood on his hands you guys bitch about it and will continue to bitch early, the thieving scum.”

32 noseweek October 2006 So there we have it: expats who revel ideology of George W Bush. Like those ricans constantly need bad news to jus- in every scrap of bad news about South Americans whose love of country bor- tify their decision to emigrate? Why do Africa. Stories of government corruption, ders on arrogance, they hide their in- they fervently hunt down and publically rampant crime, another rolling blackout, securities with macho militarism and post every negative morsel they can all bring choruses of “I told you so!” and blind obedience to the man in charge. I find? And feast on it to delirium? grunts of satisfaction from those who see why the US is so attractive to those A love denied is perhaps the strongest have so cleverly chosen a life Overseas. who loved the heady days when South of all. Mal Haas says: “In the western world Africa was good and clean and white. Internet servers in South Africa can’t access the scientific paradigm is predominant. I call this breed of South African “Joe the RSA-Overseas site. In Africa, primitive superstition is pre- Koekemoer”. He’s the Ugly South African. dominant … This is one of the reasons You might notice an underlying why Africa wallows in backwardness.” theme: the justification of an emigration Tackler says: “Africa for the Africans.” made years, or even decades ago. The (He says this a lot). move was difficult, wrenching and pain- AAA says: “They can’t make it without ful for Joe Koekemoer, who left in a fog “So in my opinion, I am not racist just because I don’t like Africans” – posting on RSA-Overseas.com

whitey, tst tsk tsk. So much for black of bravado and optimism regarding his power! Now all they need is many more newly chosen land of milk and honey. whiteys as dumb as those presently Now there he sits, Joe Koekemoer, in playing footsie to come join in the game. his big city apartment, crying into his When hell freezes over I’ll be there.” beer because there’s no braaivleis, rugby, Stags2: “I do not secretly long for sunny skies or Chevrolet, and he’s pissed home. I make it very public that it off! He’s the guy dumped by the only girl would be nice having a braai right now, he ever really loved, but he’s so “over her” then I wake up and forget it quickly.” that he drives past her house every night. Many have embraced the right wing Why else would these Ugly South Af-

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VID READERS WILL remember our asking questions (nose82) about IFAW, the International Fund for Animal Welfare, and the true nature of their Does the commitment (or lack of it) to ending Athe annual Namibian seal cull. (This year’s International quota is 85,000 young seals, the entire pup population of the Namibia’s big mainland colonies.) Fund for IFAW was formed in Canada in 1969 to stop the annual hunt of harp and hooded Animal seal in that country. Since then, it has gathered over a billion – yes, that’s a “b”, Welfare have not an “m” – US dollars to fund its animal welfare work. Even though seals are no a vested longer IFAW’s sole focus, it still uses them Ag shame: IFAW’s Cuddly Seal® logo in its logo and to raise money from its interest hordes of faithful followers. Having failed to stop the Canadian seal hunt in almost four decades of campaigning (it has only been in the scaled back), IFAW’s annual trips to the a celebrity. To many North Americans his ice-sheets of the frozen north to protest the continuation name is synonymous with saving seals. bashing to death of hundreds of thousands As IFAW grew in the 1980s and 90s, its of the critters have become a media ritual. of culling? scope became more international. Brian Decades-long opposition to the hunt has Davies began to use Namibian seals as well made one of IFAW’s founders, Brian Davies, as Canadian ones in fundraising letters (besides a host of other animals). In 1993 he told potential donors that he would “not rest” until the “heartless killing” of Namibian and Canadian seals had ended. In 1994, when it became PC to do so, IFAW officially launched a southern African branch with David Barritt, later to become Brett Kebble’s spinmeister, as spokesperson and co-director. It’s not clear what animal welfare experience or qualifications Barritt had, but he picked up on Davies’ deft use of cute baby seals as a marketing tool. Barritt cleverly branded the Namibian seal hunt “the cruellest in the world”, a quote that has resonated across the Internet ever since. Offers and counter-offers to end sealing were made between IFAW and the Namibian authorities, but, mysteriously, nothing came of them. By 1997 the seals were left to their fate and Barritt turned his, and IFAW SA’s attention to the “more newsy” [and more lucrative?] elephant campaigns. Despite his gallant words, Brian Davies did decide to rest before the “heartless killing” of seals had ended. He retired from IFAW in 1997 and was paid around US$2 million so they could continue using his name and image in their fundraising materials. He further swelled his bank account by investing considerable sums in

34 noseweek October 2006 companies that used cruel animal and told us curtly that “IFAW has no really interested in ending all seal culls testing. Davies now lives on a Florida further comment for noseweek” – that’s around the world. Without their major island and likes to travel by private jet. PR-speak for “go to hell for asking”. marketing tool, their income would The current president of IFAW Since the EU is the major market for drop. (In a world without the injured international is Fred O’Regan, an Namibian sealskin, an EU ban would and the sick, doctors go unemployed.) ex-US Peace Corps director who joined surely go a long way to shutting down Unfortunately, IFAW’s actions with the organisation with little experience the Namibian cull. And, according to respect to the Namibian seal hunt only of animals, bar his childhood pet cocker Dr Lucas, all IFAW needed to do was support this view.

ThePrior bunch to joining of South IFAW, its African current expatspresident who had littlepore experience over every of animalsmorsel apart of from bad a childhoodnews over pet her ‘which that I hated’

spaniel (“which I hated”, he told a tell MEPs about Namibia’s cull for recent interviewer). O’Regan earns Cape Fur Seal to be included in the US$225,000 (about R1.7 million) a year. declaration. Despite being based in the US, he has Some cynics say that IFAW is not known about the Namibian seal cull for some years now, having been personally engaged on the issue by South African seal activists. O’Regan is currently busy with what he calls a “fight for baby seals”, and has just sent his supporters a letter crowing about IFAW’s successful lobbying for a resolution by more than half of the Members of the European Parliament (MEPs) asking for a full European Union ban on seal products. Initially pleased by the news, southern African seal activists’ joy soon turned to dismay when they realised that the proposal was only to ban Canadian seal products – not Namibian ones. In an effort to find out why Cape Fur Seals had been left out of the MEPs’ declaration to support a ban, Francois Hugo of SealAlert-SA (a Hout Bay-based seal action group) emailed British Green Party MEP Dr Caroline Lucas, who had been a driving force behind it. Lucas responded that she was “horrified that the Namibian authorities are culling 85,000 seal pups this year – an act of unjustified cruelty”, and that “until this week” she had been “unaware of the plight of the Cape Fur Seals”. She agreed with Hugo that any European ban must include all seal products. “We will do all that we can to help bring about an end to the unnecessary and inhumane slaughter of seal pups in Namibia,” she assured Hugo. If IFAW has long been lobbying for the ban in their “fight for baby seals”, why did they not mention the massive Namibian cull to Dr Lucas and her colleagues? When we asked IFAW- SA about the non-inclusion of Cape 315611 Fur Seal in the declaration they gave us the press release we already had

noseweek October 2006 35 36 noseweek October 2006 Wining Tim James

Rising sap

PRING IS NOT a time to be curmudgeonly. Let the occasion for churlishness. Let me tell others do their bleakly useful business of you instead of a poignant aspect of this time finding fault – but here, in an established of year that hadn’t occurred to me till Chris springtime tradition going back at least a Williams mentioned it in an article he wrote year, we look on the brighter side. for the Grape website. Chris is winemaker for SThe days have lengthened in the Cape Meerlust and The Foundry, with a pleasanter winelands, even if daily sunshine and warmth relationship to nature than many, and one can’t yet be guaranteed. All the vineyards are It’s possible of the more literate and thoughtful of our at least waving brave leafy flags, and most are winemakers – and charmingly sentimental already marching forward to summer in serried to to think of on occasion. A good deal of bottling gets done ranks under massed green banners. True, not around this time, and he wrote of taking his quite all of nature rejoices: seeing the merry, young wine Rubicon red blend from their barrels, sharing underpaid labourers spraying herbicides and his sadness at having to “let it go” following insecticides to bring the landscape to a proper years of tender care. After the “trauma of state of monocultural sterility, a wandering as a creature bottling”, will it ever, he wonders, “re-emerge ladybird makes an about-turn and flies off as a thing of beauty and eloquence?” disconsolately. Dozens of farm children also get loved and It’s possible, then, to anthropomorphise, organophosphate poisoning each year, but we’re to think of young wine as a creature loved not to think of them now. cared for in and cared for in its youth, and then, as Chris For everything in the vineyard is says, let go (nicely dressed, and with a dose of lovely. Including, we trust, the one which its youth, sulphur dioxide as the equivalent, I suppose, Stellenbosch University’s Institute for of a handful of condoms and some useless Biotechnology is planting with genetically and then let parental advice). The French use the verb modified vines: the country’s first such, with élever for raising both a child and a wine, and more to follow – aren’t we making great élevage is also used in English for the careful strides? go (nicely processes between fermentation and that Offshoots of the wine industry also feel tragic-happy moment of bottling. the sap rising, as nature performs her dressed, and Continuing the analogy, one imagines some annual miracle, with the kindly help of the later scenes between offspring and inadequate agrochemical industry and the people in with a dose parent: “Why didn’t you warn me about wine white coats. Publicity managers finalise judges?” “If you’d used only new oak for me, I’d marketing plans for the end-of-year rush and of sulphur be able to get into America!” (“We did what we the tourist invasion; winewriters note all the thought best, and even sacrificed the merlot so invitations to lunch-launches of various superb dioxide as that you could have some new barrels!”) “People products, and put off dieting for a little longer. treat me funny – if I had a screwcap instead of Accountants examine spreadsheets with cork I’m sure I’d be much fresher!” (“We didn’t renewed pleasure or dismay, depending on the the eqivalent properly understand in those days….”) winery’s relationship to the worldwide glut. Eternal, youthful ingratitude. But it is Winemakers might be particularly cheerful of a handful spring, and all in the vineyard is lovely. this spring (unless they’re among those Wine is simply a benign, joy-bringing thing. wondering what the hell to do with the of condoms No scandal, greed, exploitation. The very tankfuls of unsold wine from last year that worst that can be imagined is that Bruce will soon have to make way for the next and some Jack brings out another Flagstone wine harvest). Their scope for manipulating nature’s with a bizarre name, or the Wine mag panel frequently inconvenient equations has recently useless makes some preposterous ratings, or the been expanded, with new regulations allowing new Platter guide offers some particularly for various high-tech ways of reducing alcohol pretentious descriptions. We can live with all levels. They can get the ultra-ripe flavours and parental that; there’s no room (this month) for grumpy thick textures that are currently fashionable, commentators. and not have to worry about the results of all advice) that sugar converting into alcohol. Spring it is, and everything in the vineyard is lovely – especially when nature can be put firmly in her place: cajoled or gently bullied or brutally corrected. But that sounds a little sour, and it is not

noseweek October 2006 37 Last word Harold Strachan

Yeh, the Abboes, now... says he, and I quickly butt in: We had only one monkey this year, he was cleaning up our avocados when they were size of grapes, so I enticed him down every morning with bread at Floys, the kitchen door. He’d perch on the gutter up top and I’d toss up slices frisbee style. He didn’t try for inside the house, we have this sausage dog called Jesus because he is so monkeys etc meek, you see, and he would lie up- side-down in the doorway and smile with his canines exposed. After- wards he’d bark berserk up the avo F YOU GO about two blocks straight down tree where the monkey was eating this street, says Merv, architect, his bread, all bravado and chutzpah, Inspector of Things in Newcastle, New macho bullshit. South Wales, you will come upon a nice But one morning, I tell this old Victorian pub. There you can sit barman, a man with a smallbore Iand drink beer, says he, whilst I inspect shotgun appeared in the garden, plans for something or other in an office up- and another bloke from the SPCA in a white stairs here. Points heav’nwards at a nasty big dust coat. They’re gazing up in the avo tree highrise, says See you in an hour or so. and I know they’ve come for my monkey. May So I haul in at this unmistakable place, I make so bold as to ask what the bloody hell quaintly called something about coal and you’re doing on my premises with an unhol- Newcastle, The King of Coal, I think, some- stered firearm? say I with the utmost sarcasm. thing dinkum sophisticated like that, in a Sorry, sir, I’ve got to do it, says the shooter, street full of carefully conserved unremark- it’s my job, Mrs Meintjies in the corner house able old trading premises, all spick and span He stands has officially complained that her grandson and sentimental about the days of steam and name of Clunt gets hysterical when he sees innocence when there was plenty of room amongst my wild animals. Well why don’t you go and shoot in the atmophere for a few atoms of carbon Clunt then fer Chrissake? say I, he’s a horrible and molecules of sulphur dioxide. It has a hydrangeas little shit with black teeth from eating choc- big hanging sign outside, English pub style, olate for his school lunch and he’s not doing portraying the King of Spades, and there’s a until after anything useful upon this earth. Ja, wouldn’t lump of coal in the shovel in the king’s hand. mind, says shooter, pity it’s unlawful, I prefer There’s nobody in here but the bartender and 45 minutes no the monkey. And what if I refuse to let you a droopy-eyed man of indeterminate age at the fire from my premises for fear of frightening bar hanging over a mug of lager at 10am. my children? say I. Then I’d wait and fire from Woddle yew hev, mite? says the barman. less he gets a the street, says the shooter. I never miss. Ask Surprise me, say I. I’m a visitor here and I’ve this guy. The SPCA man nods. So he stands heard a lot about your beer. He gives me a clear line on amongst my hydrangeas until after 45 min- bottle with an artistic label and sure enough utes no less he gets a clear line on the monkey it comes up to expectations and I wipe my the monkey up in the leaves there and blasts him clean moustache with the back of my hand and ask out of the treetop in a graceful arc and he for more. Howdyew loik it then? says barman. up in the lands stone dead on his back on the concrete Man, say I, it lives up to everything I’ve heard pathway with his jaws still reflexively chewing about Australian beer, it’s lovely. It’s facking leaves there his bread. ahful, says Droopy Eyes. Oi’ll be gled when Yeh, the Abboes, now... says the barman. Oi’ve hed enaugh. He never knuws when he’s Well, say I rather loudly, Jesus got up off his hed enaugh, says the barman to me. Unly Oi and blasts him bum and waddled over to the monkey and knuw. When the facking floys are walking all picked it up and dropped it on the kitchen step over his facking fice end he doesn’t knuw it, clean out of for some reason only dogs know about. A dog that’s when Oi knuw he’s hed enaugh. is a creature of ritual. Yeh, says he, it’s an I seek to change the topic. I see you have the treetop in illegitimate blonde. What, the dog? say I. Nuh, a problem with flies, say I. Yeh, says he, they Loife, says he. It’s a feh bastard. used to settle on the Abboes yew knuw but a graceful arc they’re going extinct. The flies? No the Abboes. I seek to change that one too but can’t think fast enough. Yew hev floy prawblems beck hum? says he. No, monkeys, say I. Problem is they’ve disappeared. They used to roam the city of Durban when I was a kid and nick pets’ food and bread and stuff from peoples’ kitch- ens, but they’ve all been shot out.

38 noseweek October 2006 on 083 448 9662 for details. Beaumont Wines PAYMENT & TERMS FOR SMALLS , Bot River. The oldest cellar in Sedgefield Deadline for smalls is the 1st of the month prior to Sedgies on the Water. Stunning waterfront the Overberg. Wine tastings and accommodation. Call property located on Knysna’s most extensive unspoilt publication. (028) 284 9194 or [email protected]. beach. Sleeps 8. Separate cottage sleeps four. Call 084 Smalls ads are prepaid at R100 for up to 15 words, Cycad Large 20-year-old transvenosous in pot. R9000. thereafter R10 per word. 583 0007. www.sedgies.co.za Call 072 680 3641. E-mail [email protected]. Boxed ads are R150 per column cm (min 3cm in depth). Knysna Lagoon Luxury chalets. Call (044) 386 0037 Ian Fuller Agencies for all your hardwood sup- Payment by cheque should be made to Chaucer or e-mail [email protected]. plies. Call (011) 618 1620. Publications, PO Box 44538, Claremont 7735. Misty Cliffs Experience sea and mountains in Penetron waterproofing products. Call Peter on Payment by direct transfer should be made to Chaucer award-winning holiday house. Contact Josette on 083 082 882 0077. Publications; Account 591 7001 7966; First National 627 3598. Karon Plastics For all construction, polythene wa- Bank; Vineyard Branch; Branch code 204 209. Nieu Bethesda Self-catering cottage. Sleeps four. terproof and installation sheeting. Call (021) 511 7094. Two bedrooms en suite. Call (049) 841 1769. Sheets, duvets made to order. Any size. 100 per- PERSONAL Chintsa East, Wild Coast Crawford’s Beach cent cotton. Call Caren on 083 259 5710. Lodge and Cabins. Fly-in packages. Call (043) 738 5000 Master Organics Manufacturers of organic growing or fax (043) 738 5001. mediums, growers of specialised lawn grasses and trees. Melvin. Congratulations on 50 years’ atheism. Kruger Park Lodge 8–15 December. Sleeps 4–6. Call (021) 396 1066. May the spirits be with you. Pagan. Self-catering. R5000 (onco). Call 082 448 0669. Wine fridge Home bar size. Cap. 16 bottles. New/ Harrod is alive and well and living in Cotswolds. Nottingham Road Upmarket 3-bedroom cottage. unused. R700. Call (021) 788 1532. Access to Mooi River and dams, trout fishing. Call (033) Wine bloody expensive! Bulk Tank and Compressor for sale. 1500 litre. 266 6034 or 082 774 9497. Mr G Bear As soon as noseweek arrives we are R10,000. Call (033) 997 1847. going on a date! Suzi. Talktime Overseas phone calls 36 cents per minute. LEISURE Editor and staff are stars. Cecil. UK, USA. See www.hellohowzit.co.za. Sandra and Sheldon are back home after eight Golf and Beer Tours – 2 Days of Golf, 2 Nights Building finishes. Import from China. Save 30–50 percent. Very professional. Delivery to site. For quote months in USA and Oz. Accommodation, all meals and beers! Only R990. Call Richard today on 082 775 9998. www.zulubeer.com call Lynn on 083 283 8889.

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