20 May 2020 HOW ARTISTS TEACH LEADERSHIP: EIGHT PORTRAITS

HOW ARTISTS TEACH LEADERSHIP:

EIGHT PORTRAITS OF ARTIST-EDUCATORS

April Hyoeun Bang

Dissertation Committee:

Professor Victoria Marsick, Sponsor Professor Lyle Yorks

Approved by the Committee on the Degree of Doctor of Education

Date ______20 May 2020

Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Education in Teachers College, Columbia University

2020

ABSTRACT

HOW ARTISTS TEACH LEADERSHIP:

EIGHT PORTRAITS OF ARTIST-EDUCATORS

April Hyoeun Bang

This dissertation explored how eight artists who are also faculty in academic institutions and adult professional development programs teach leadership. As such, the purpose of this study was to understand to what extent and how these self-defined artists who also teach leadership in academic and professional development settings draw from and integrate their roles, skills, experiences, learning, and ways of making meaning as artists to facilitate leadership learning among adults. By doing so, this research sought to move beyond existing technical and conceptual knowledge of arts-based methods in leadership teaching to learning more about specific artists who have inspired or used such methods.

Using the method of portraiture embedded in a qualitative exploratory interview study with narrative inquiry, this study reveals an aesthetic approach to research and presents narratives of eight artist-educators in the form of portraits. Portraits were analyzed thematically using a procedure of cross-portrait analysis. Four conclusions emerged from the analysis. These include evidence of participants’ greater integration or interdependence of artist-educator identities and roles in later stages of one’s teaching career, experience of some degree or form of transformation in personal learning journeys with art, emphasis on experiential learning as an essential aspect of teaching,

and advice to emerging artist-educators to embrace their artistic ways of being and knowing and integrate art into their teaching. Several recommendations for future research and practice are offered along with concluding reflections.

DEDICATION

In loving memory of my grandmother

Sarah Okyun Kim

who inspired and nurtured faith, leadership, and art in me.

To my parents

Hae Ock Eunice Kim Bang & Sang Kiel Bang

who taught me leadership as an expression of faith.

And to artists and all involved in teaching and learning leadership:

May the gift of your work carry on and bring hope, healing, and renewal in this world.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This dissertation journey was a gift. With both challenge and joy, this journey helped me understand love and grace more fully as I appreciate the support of many to whom I am forever grateful. Ten artist-educators graciously shared their time, stories, and insights with me, and their wisdom and courage deeply touched and inspired me.

Among them, eight individuals—”Parker,” “Illiana,” “Shannon,” “Irini,” “Baila,”

“Stefan,” “Sofie,” and “Jamie”—welcomed me into their homes and classrooms to help me learn more about their life and work. They also opened their hearts and their journeys with me and allowed what was shared in sacred spaces of conversation to be studied and shared with the world through portraits. I am grateful to these individuals for co-creating with me and entrusting me with a deep honor to uncover and share their precious journey.

Thank you to all ten artist-educators for your trust, collaboration, gracious support, and encouragement in this process as dear friends and mentors. Thank you also for the ways you have inspired me and helped me learn.

I would like to thank my sponsor and advisor Professor Victoria Marsick for her incredible support and keen guidance throughout my journey at Teachers College and for walking with me through many occurrences of transformative learning, including emerging as an artist. Thank you Victoria for your compassion, wisdom, and loving care through all my tears and frustrations as well as excitement with new discoveries, and thank you and Peter both for your friendship, mentorship, and encouragement through the years. I would also like to thank my faculty mentor and second reader Professor Lyle

Yorks for his kind and generous encouragement and support throughout my doctoral

journey, cheering me on and always offering appreciative feedback. Thank you, Lyle, for always opening your door, for your encouraging presence in art shows at TC and the

Walls-Ortiz Gallery and Center, and for our many conversations about whatever was stirring on my heart for leadership, transformative learning, art, and faith. I am grateful to Professor Yolanda Sealey-Ruiz, chair of my dissertation committee, and Professor

Olga Hubard who provided helpful guidance and feedback as a member of the committee. Thank you, Yolanda, for your fierce love and compassion in teaching and the ways you have modeled and inspired courage, faith, and grace through your mentorship and leadership. Thank you, Olga, for helping me “see” something new in the world of artists and sharing your wisdom and fresh perspectives.

In addition to my dissertation committee, I am thankful to many faculty, alumni, and peers at Teachers College who have also supported, encouraged, and helped me grow. I would especially like to thank Dr. Carmela Bennett, Dr. Jo Tyler, Dr. Stephen

Brookfield, Dr. Aliki Nicolaides, and Dr. Nancy Goldman for helping me find my voice in writing, community, and leadership and cheering me on with your friendship and support at different stages of my doctoral journey. I would also like to thank Professor

Alex Bowers for his encouraging, insightful guidance and mentorship in Education

Leadership Data Analytics. I am grateful to Dr. Judy O’Neil, Dr. Pierre Faller, and Holly

O’Grady for their mentorship, friendship, and collaboration in action learning. I am also grateful to Professor Ellie Drago-Severson for her compassionate care and support in learning leadership for adult development and to Dr. Jeanne Bitterman, Dr. Terrence

Maltbia, Dr. Martha Gephart, and Dr. Carrie Shockley for their teaching and mentorship in adult learning and leadership courses. I would also like to thank Dr. Patricia Cranton,

in honor and loving memory, for believing in my work and journey as a scholar and encouraging me to pursue publishing my first article in an academic journal.

I would like to thank Dr. Jun Gao, Tara Geer, Dr. Joy Moser, Dr. Mahbobe

Ghods, dear friends Eunji Lee, Bert Benally, and many other friends in the Art and Art

Education Department for encouraging and helping me grow as an artist. Words alone cannot fully express my appreciation and wonder for your amazing teaching and open heart in supporting and encouraging me in art.

I am grateful to Marjorie Orcel-Cozart, Daniella Young, and Yana Zeltser for their support for our Adult Learning and Leadership program and the ways in which they helped all of us move forward to complete our journeys at TC. In addition, I thank the

Organization Leadership Association (OLA) for the support I received as a student as well as the opportunity to serve students in our program and at TC. I am also grateful to

Professor Peter Coleman, Dr. Beth Fisher-Yoshida, Meredith Smith, Christine (’Stine)

Chung, and others in the community of the International Center for Cooperation and

Conflict Resolution (ICCCR) at Teachers College and the Advanced Consortium on

Cooperation, Conflict, Complexity (AC4) at Columbia’s Earth Institute for supporting my research on arts and conflict resolution in the earlier stages of my doctoral journey.

In addition, I would like to thank Russell Gulizia, Dana Klainberg, and others in the

Office of Doctoral Studies at TC for their kind support.

Both within and outside of Teachers College, there are many mentors and friends who have walked with me on this journey. I would especially like to thank Professor

Herman “Dutch” Leonard who has been an extraordinary mentor and teacher from my previous graduate degree program and throughout the years as he shared encouragement

and insights in my various explorations of social entrepreneurship, “leadership as an expression of faith,” and personal development. I am deeply grateful to Dr. Ronald

Heifetz who inspired and helped me grow in my understanding and teaching of adaptive leadership through his teaching, encouragement, and mentorship. I am also grateful to

Ambassador Swanee Hunt who encouraged me as a woman of faith and introduced me to a world of women making a difference as she inspired me with her art, story, and family, especially with Charles who listened and shared his music, connected with my family in

Korea, and prayed with me and Kim. I thank Dr. Reed Bonadonna who graciously shared his time and journey with me and explored teaching possibilities. I also thank

Marc Manashil, Cassie Collier, Erik Yazdani, Latica Tomasic, Dr. Sarah Chace, Dr. Tim

O’Brien, Dr. Hugh O’Doherty, my “world family” of Harvard’s Art and Practice of

Leadership Development 2017, and many others, as friends and collaborators who also provided helpful insights and encouragement in the journey of adaptive leadership. I thank Professor James Liebman and Dr. Elizabeth Chu at Columbia Law School’s Center for Public Research and Leadership for helping me learn and understand leadership and systemic change in K-12 education. I am grateful to Mako Fujimura who inspired me to make art a prayer and for introducing me to “Illiana.” I am also grateful to my former students at Yonsei University in Seoul, Korea who were courageous and wonderful in learning with me as they helped awaken joy in teaching.

I love my friends and community. I am truly grateful for all their love and support in this process. I would especially like to thank Dr. Maria Liu Wong who walked closely with me and cheered me on, rallying friends to stop by and bless me after my dissertation defense. I am grateful to Aimee Lace for your persistent partnership in

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prayer and spirit-filled friendship, Elizabeth Park for our shared journey and virtual accountability sessions, and Dr. Yilin Pan for your partnership in Education Leadership

Data Analytics, tips and many words of encouragement. I also thank Dr. Huibing He who shared her heart as an artist with me and Sarah Gerth van den Berg who (with

Maria) became my weekly writing buddy. In addition, I thank Dr. Bank Apichai

Chaiwinij, StevenDavid Torres, Grace Allas Alcid, Himanshu Joshi, Caroline Tavares,

Jihae Cha, Dr. Alison Walling, Samantha Hoxha, Elyse Kolin, Fumie Nakao, Sharon Ha,

Julia Ji, Dr. Chloe Wright Dawson, Michael Palmieri, Luronne Vaval, Dr. Kenneth

Graves, Dr. Ji hye Kim, and other friends at Teachers College who have collaborated, encouraged, and offered helpful advice at different points along my journey.

Though I cannot name everyone I’d like to here, I would also especially like to thank dear friends Eunice Woo, Shirley Park, Sarah Shih, Kathleen Hahn, Eunice and

Richard Shin-Lai, Eliza Choo, Janice Yoon, Stephanie Wade, Esther Andrews, Linda

Shin, Tracey Tae, Joanne and Chris Kim, Jinny and Jonathan Lee, Dr. Kelly Tenzek,

Amelia Sampat, Hanna Yesuf, Melody Smith, Eunice Chang Anderson, Kristen Su,

David and Susan Plant, Pastors David and Judy Hwang from Jubilee Seoul, Pastors Abe

Cho and Mark Ro from Redeemer ES, my Redeemer WS Community Group, my cohort and community of Gotham 2018, and the wonderful S2 Cohort of Gotham 2020 (Stefy,

Cathy, Sylvia, Maria, Jennifer, Austin, Jonathan, Neil, Mark, Joshua) for all your prayers and checking in with care in this intense process. I am also grateful to Don Tredway,

MD, PhD for your prayers and wise counsel and to David and Carol Boyd, Diane (with memory of Jeff) Littleton, and Matt and Celia Rawlins for your friendship, mentorship, and prayers over the years. And I would especially like to thank Joshua Warner for your

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steady support, prayers, and care, for your wisdom and earnest efforts to keep me grounded and focused without losing myself, and for the ways in which you have helped me grow, laugh, and experience joy in an ongoing journey of faith.

Finally, I would like to thank my family—immediate and extended—who prayed, encouraged, and sent baby photos and videos to help me smile and laugh. I thank my uncles, aunts, and cousins who prayed and sent encouraging messages to keep going with faith. I am grateful to my brother Samuel and sister-in-love Najin for your loving support and to my twin nephews, Timothy and Daniel for the heart-melting joy you both have brought to a proud auntie and our entire family. I would especially like to thank my parents Hae Ock Eunice Kim Bang and Sang Kiel Bang who have modeled and taught me much about leadership. Thank you mom and dad for walking with me in unconditional love and support, believing in me even when I had doubts, and prayerfully fighting for the dreams and callings on my heart with your faith and trust in God. And I thank, in loving memory, my grandparents, on both sides, who taught me faith, resilience, and hope in the ways they persisted with life and loved family through many transitions.

In conclusion, I thank God for the tremendous gift of this journey—for opening my heart, forming and transforming me, to learn love and grace more deeply and experience peace that surpasses understanding. Along this journey, this dissertation became a prayer—a prayer for faith, hope, and love in this world as well as prayer for encouragement and blessing to all who have been a part of this process and all who may read it. In both these turbulent times and into the future, I also pray this work will strengthen hope, resilience, and ongoing renewal in the service and teaching of leadership. AHB

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter I – INTRODUCTION ...... 1 Background and Context...... 1 Leadership and Leadership Development ...... 1 Arts and Leadership Development...... 4 Problem Statement ...... 5 Purpose and Research Questions ...... 7 Approach ...... 9 Anticipated Outcomes ...... 12 Researcher Perspectives ...... 13 Assumptions ...... 14 Rationale and Significance ...... 15

Chapter II – LITERATURE REVIEW ...... 16 Leadership Development ...... 17 Experiential Learning...... 21 Constructivist Perspectives ...... 25 Reflection and Complexity ...... 26 Transformative Learning ...... 26 Transformative Learning as Adult Development ...... 30 Leadership Development as Continuous Transformation ...... 32 Art and Artists in Leadership Development ...... 34 Arts-based Methods ...... 35 Art and Creativity ...... 37 Learning with Art ...... 40 Artists in Leadership Development ...... 47 The Artist-Educator ...... 49 Conceptual Framework ...... 50

Chapter III – METHODOLOGY ...... 53 Study Design ...... 54 Qualitative Research ...... 54 Narrative Inquiry ...... 55 Portraiture ...... 56 Discussion of Sample ...... 59 Areas of Information Needed...... 59 Methods for Data Collection ...... 60 In-Depth Semi-Structured Interviews ...... 60 Multiple Data Sources and Triangulation ...... 61 Observations ...... 61 First Steps after Data Collection ...... 62 Methods for Interpretation and Analysis ...... 62 Coding for Emergent Themes ...... 62

Constructing Portraits ...... 63 Thematic Cross-Portrait Analysis ...... 63 Two-Stage, Multi-Level, Process of Coding and Analysis...... 65 Validity ...... 65 Clarifying Bias ...... 66 “Rich, Thick Description” of Findings ...... 66 Member Checking ...... 66 Triangulation ...... 67 Expert Debriefing...... 67 Limitations ...... 67

Chapter IV – FINDINGS: PORTRAITS ...... 69 Introduction to the Artists ...... 70 Parker ...... 70 Illiana ...... 70 Shannon...... 71 Irini ...... 71 Baila ...... 71 Stefan ...... 72 Sofie ...... 72 Jamie ...... 73 Portraiture as a Method ...... 73 Parker: “Fearless Explorer” ...... 75 The Artist-Educator ...... 78 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 84 Teaching Leadership ...... 87 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 91 Illiana: “Builder of Porous Walls” ...... 92 The Artist-Educator ...... 97 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 104 Teaching Leadership ...... 109 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 114 Shannon: “Gatekeeper of Domains and Integrator for Social Change” ...... 118 The Artist-Educator ...... 122 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 133 Teaching Leadership ...... 139 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 143 Irini: “Catalyzing Performer-Alchemist” ...... 147 The Artist-Educator ...... 151 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 158 Teaching Leadership ...... 164 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 171 Baila: “Integrative Mover” ...... 173 The Artist-Educator ...... 177 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 184 Teaching Leadership ...... 188

Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 192 Stefan: “Communicator through Music” ...... 196 The Artist-Educator ...... 200 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 204 Teaching Leadership ...... 208 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 213 Sofie: “Co-Creator of Community” ...... 214 The Artist-Educator ...... 218 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 222 Teaching Leadership ...... 231 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 238 Jamie: “Actress to Leadership Developer” ...... 240 The Artist-Educator ...... 245 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 255 Teaching Leadership ...... 258 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 265

Chapter V – ANALYSIS OF PORTRAITS AND SYNTHESIS ...... 269 Cross-Portrait Analysis ...... 271 The Artist-Educator ...... 272 Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation ...... 285 Teaching Leadership ...... 291 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 300 Synthesis ...... 305

Chapter VI – CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS ...... 309 Overview of Study ...... 309 Conclusions ...... 313 Conclusion 1 ...... 314 Conclusion 2 ...... 315 Conclusion 3 ...... 316 Conclusion 4 ...... 317 Recommendations for Practice ...... 319 Reflections on the Study ...... 321

REFERENCES ...... 326

APPENDICES Appendix A – Email Text for Participant Recruitment ...... 337 Appendix B – Informed Consent Form (Part 1) ...... 338 Appendix C – Semi-structured Interview Protocol ...... 343 Appendix D – Informed Consent Form (Part 2) ...... 345 Appendix E – Semi-structured Interview Protocol (Part 2) ...... 350 Appendix F – Definition of Codes Applied for Analysis ...... 351

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LIST OF TABLES

Table Page

3.1 Areas of Information Collected ...... 60

5.1 Self-reported Transformation Applied to Typology (Hoggan, 2016) ...... 287

xiii LIST OF FIGURES

Figure Page

2.1 Conceptual Map of Artists Teaching Leadership ...... 51

5.1 Participant’s Primary Art Medium...... 274

5.2 Participant’s Secondary Art Medium...... 274

5.3 Word Cloud of Participants’ Artistic Background and Influences ...... 276

5.4 Participant Formation as Artists...... 276

5.5 Word Cloud of Participants’ Formations and Work as Educators ...... 279

5.6 Formative Influences and Description of Work and Roles as Educators ...... 280

5.7 Artist-Educator Roles and Identities ...... 283

5.8 Artist-Educator Integration ...... 284

5.9 Word Cloud of Participants’ Journeys of Learning with Art ...... 288

5.10 Word Cloud of Key Factors in Transformative Learning with Art ...... 288

5.11 Leadership vs Management ...... 293

5.12 Teaching Approaches and Methods ...... 294

5.13 Teaching Approaches and Methods by Participant ...... 296

5.14 Teaching Emphasis ...... 297

5.15 Intended Learning Outcomes of Teaching Leadership ...... 299

5.16 Intended Learning Outcomes by Participant...... 299

5.17 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator ...... 300

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Chapter I

INTRODUCTION

This study explores how eight self-defined artists who are also faculty in academic institutions and adult professional development programs teach leadership. As such, the purpose of this study is to understand to what extent and how these artists who also teach leadership in academic and professional development settings draw from and integrate their roles, skills, experiences, learning, and ways of making meaning as artists to facilitate leadership learning among adults. By doing so, this research seeks to move beyond existing technical and conceptual knowledge of arts-based methods in leadership teaching to learning more about specific artists who have inspired or used such methods.

The remainder of this chapter will provide background and context to situate the research problem that this study attempted to address, exploring current trends of practice in leadership development and their intersection with the arts as well as the gaps that continue to exist in our knowledge and approaches today. This chapter will also state the purpose of the study and ensuing research questions that have guided the study, followed by an overview of the research design chosen. The chapter will conclude with a discussion of researcher perspectives, assumptions of the study, and rationale and significance of conducting the study.

Background and Context

Leadership and Leadership Development

Over a number of years, we have witnessed a rapidly expanding interest in the study of leadership and market for leadership development. In recent years, leadership

2 development has become the largest expense in total budgets for training, learning and development in most businesses across the United States and in several other countries around the world (Ardichvili, Natt Och Dag, & Manderscheid, 2016). Leader- and leadership development over the last few decades have also emerged as an area of active theory building and research (Ardichvili et al., 2016; Day, Fleenor, Atwater, Sturm, &

McKee, 2014). Even as far back into the 1980s, there was burgeoning interest in the subject of leadership as evidenced by a growing body of literature “ranging from serious scholarly analyses of presidential power to ‘How To’ books of the one-minute variety” that reflected “the most visible product of a movement that includes increasing numbers of leadership courses at all levels of instruction, executive training programs, corporately funded institutes for leadership training and research, conferences, professional organizations producing newsletters, and a computer conferencing network” (Heifetz,

Sinder, Jones, Hodge, & Rowley, 1989, p. 538). Nevertheless, most leadership models of the last century have been derived from bureaucratic paradigms that reflect top-town approaches to leading (Ardichvili et al., 2016; Barrett, 2012; Hollon, 2011; Uhl-Bien,

Marion, & McKelvey, 2007, etc.). Moving into this century, Barrett (2012) asserts that

“as we enter the knowledge-intensive demands of the 21st century, we need to rotate our images and increase our leadership repertoire beyond these hierarchical models, so that we more fully appreciate the power of relationships” (p. xiv). Carlucci and Schiuma

(2018) argues for the “need to shift from the traditional modern management paradigm to a postmodern management paradigm” as “traditional management principles cannot alone support organizational value creation mechanisms and the management is forced to evolve and look for new knowledge domains in order to develop and/or embrace new

3 approaches, models, and tools” (p. 342). The authors further assert that “the complexity of today’s business landscape makes the established linear and rationalistic management thinking, characterizing the modern management paradigm no longer sufficient for the governance of organizations” (Carlucci & Schiuma, 2018). Notwithstanding, while demands of the 21st century have given rise to organizations expecting new leadership capacities, traditional mindsets and models are still being largely promoted (Volini et al.,

2019).

Leadership development has been identified as a critical competency in human resource development (HRD) around the world (Thakadipuram, 2010, Turner, Baker,

Schroeder, Johnson, & Chung, 2018). In the last 30 years, leadership development has also emerged as an area of active theory building and research (Day, Fleenor, Atwater,

Sturm, & McKee, 2014). Nevertheless, the field is considered “still relatively immature” or “primitive” yet “replete with opportunities for researchers and theorists” (Day et al.,

2014, p. 79). Despite rapid evolution and growing trends in leadership development

(Ardichvili et al., 2016), little attention and research has been devoted to understanding its process (Muir, 2014; Turner et al., 2018). In addition, current leadership development literature offers scant evidence on how adult graduate level courses in higher education and professional schools actually develop leaders (O’Brien, 2016).

With limited research and understanding around leadership development, many leadership development programs have failed to achieve their goals (Ardichvili et al.,

2016) and many programs have been considered too linear (Turner et al., 2018). In the face of complex challenges of the 21st century, Volini et al. (2019) identify organizational needs to “develop leaders for the capabilities needed for the demands of

4 the rapidly evolving, technology-driven business environment—capabilities such as leading through ambiguity, managing increasing complexity, being tech-savvy, managing changing customer and talent demographics, and handling national and cultural differences” (para. 1). Turner, Baker, Schroeder, Johnson, and Chung (2018) also emphasize that “current leadership development programs need to be realigned to better meet the needs of innovation, complex programs and dynamic work environments while providing a culture that questions strategy and plans to better meet the demands of operating in dynamic work environments” (p. 539). To develop such leadership capacities and leadership development programs, scholars, educators, and practitioners have looked to the arts to help us understand what leadership may need to look like in this century and facilitate leadership development accordingly. While some make a distinction between “leadership education” and “leadership development” (Callahan &

Rosser, 2007), these terms along with “leadership teaching” are used interchangeably in this study.

Arts and Leadership Development

With increasing recognition that learning in the 21st century and into the future calls for new approaches and paradigms, several scholars have examined art and arts- based methods in the context of management and leadership development (Adler, 2006,

2011, 2015; Antal & Strauß, 2013; Barrett, 1998, 2012; Carlucci & Schiuma, 2018;

Ferreira, 2018; Gardner, 2012; Schein, 2013; Springborg & Ladkin, 2018; Sutherland,

2013; Taylor & Ladkin, 2009, etc.). To date, arts-based methods have been increasingly used to facilitate management and leadership training (Adler, 2006, 2011, 2015; Antal &

Strauß, 2013; Austin & Devin, 2010; Chia, 2016; Ferreira, 2018; Springborg & Ladkin,

2018; etc.). Examples of business leaders using arts-based approaches have begun to gain prominence (Adler, 2006; Antal & Strauß, 2013; Austin & Devin, 2010; Ferreira,

2018; etc.). In the business context, Adler (2006) explores why an increasing number of companies are utilizing artists and artistic processes in their strategic and day-to-day approaches to management and leadership. The author identifies and describes this trend across companies and business schools, which include growing emergence of arts and leadership centers and arts-based courses in MBA curriculums (Adler, 2006). Nissley

(2010) explores arts-based learning in the business context and its emergence in management education. Carlucci and Schiuma (2018) discuss the power and resources of the arts in the current business landscape and how the arts can shift and transform mindsets and systems in management. Recognizing the limitations of traditional or old approaches to business due to rapid increase in global connectedness, domination of market forces, advances in technology, a yearning for significance and meaning in the midst of intensifying complexity, chaos, and turbulence, companies have increasingly turned to artists and artistic processes for help (Adler 2006; Antal & Strauß, 2013; Austin

& Devin, 2010; Carlucci & Schiuma, 2018; Chia, 2016; Ferreira, 2018; Nissley, 2010; etc.).

Problem Statement

With all the ways in which art has been incorporated into curriculums and studied as effective ways to develop leadership capacities, a dichotomy still exists between artists and learners. For example, Adler (2015) designates the terms “artists” and “nonartists” in her discussion of artistic interventions in organizational settings. In addition, the notion of

6 aesthetics—of beauty—remains scant. According to Adler (2015),” beauty has been almost completely absent from most discussions of 21st-century leadership and scholarship and condemned by most contemporary art critics and theorists” (p. 483).

Moreover, though there are essays and theory-building scholarship around arts-based methods, research remains limited in the area of understanding the artist in relation to leadership development. Schein (2013, 2011), as an artist himself, reflects on the role of art and the artist in management, but his reflections are from his personal experience and observations over research, which he mentions, at least in his essay, that he did not pursue. Given the plethora of studies that mentioned arts-based methods and arts-based interventions, few studies publicly disclose the authors as artists. In this respect, Adler

(2006, 2010a, 2010b, 2011, 2015), Schein (2011, 2013), and Barrett (1998, 2012) may be among very few artists, who are publicly known as artists along with their writing about the arts and teaching of leadership for academic audiences. Taylor and Ladkin (2009) provide a typology of arts-based processes, but do not consider artists who are facilitating such processes in learning. Much of literature discusses the potential of the arts in leadership education from a skills-transfer perspective, the assumption that these skills overlap in both the arts and leadership. For example, Adler (2015) asserts that “both thought leadership and organizational leadership require newness, the ability to see beyond previously recognized patterns… the ability to see that which is unique within a context of that which is comfortably familiar—that which has been previously recognized to be true, normal, average, or reliably predictable” (Adler, 2015, p. 485).

Notwithstanding, though skills may indeed be transferrable through artistic processes

7 replicated in leadership trainings, there is less attention to artists who may be facilitating these processes and what they are bringing to the learning environment.

In the context of adult learning, scholars have explored art as a way to foster transformative learning (Lawrence, 2005; Lawrence & Cranton, 2009; Yorks and Kasl,

2002, 2006; Zorilla & Tisdell, 2016; etc.). Most adult learning literature I found seem to focus on art as a means—a tool or process—to foster learning, but few studies seem to focus on artists, even though authors of such studies may themselves be artists. This gap is what led me to focus on artists and study how specific artists teach leadership.

If artists are able to see reality differently and help transform reality (Adler, 2011,

2015; Schein 2013, 2011), perhaps such artists also bring this into their teaching. As such, examining arts-based methods alone is insufficient to understand how a potential leadership course that uses art could foster transformation in perspectives and actions that may transform reality without knowing the person who believes that art carries that potential and is sufficiently knowledgeable and comfortable with art in order to teach with it. Moving beyond considerations of art as purely a means, process, tool, or method of leadership development and learning, it is important to explore artists who are teaching as instruments of learning in addition to how they have come to integrate their artist selves in teaching leadership. This exploration is the heart of this study with its stated purpose and research questions.

Purpose and Research Questions

The purpose of this study is to expand our current knowledge of arts-integrated practices in leadership development beyond the technical aspects of arts-based methods

8 in teaching in order to understand the persons—the artists—who may have inspired, originated, and used such methods. By focusing on specific artists who teach leadership,

I hope to generate useful insights for faculty recruitment and development for leadership teaching along with implications for practice in leadership education today and into the future. In this light, this study explores to what extent and how eight self-defined artists who teach leadership in academic and professional development settings integrate their roles, skills, experiences, and ways of making meaning as artists to facilitate leadership learning. It also explores to what extent how their personal learning journeys have influenced their teaching and self-perceptions as an educator. With these intents, I study self-defined artists who also identify as faculty members teaching leadership courses in academic institutions or adult professional development programs. Through this endeavor, I addressed the following research questions:

1. To what extent and how do self-defined artists who teach leadership courses in

academic institutions and adult professional development programs integrate their

artist selves in teaching leadership?

a. To what extent do these individuals view their roles and identities as

artists and educators as integrated?

b. To what extent and how do these individuals intentionally integrate their

artistic skills and way of engagement with the arts with their teaching?

c. In what ways do their experiences and backgrounds as artists influence

what they teach, how they describe and design their courses, how they

interact with students, and what learning they are trying to facilitate

among their students?

2. To what extent and how have these individuals’ personal learning journeys with

art, including ones which they perceive as transformative, influenced their

teaching and ways of being as educators?

a. What personal learning experiences with art have influenced their

teaching?

b. To what extent and how have their personal learning journeys with art

influenced their approach to teaching and ways of being as educators?

Approach

This study explored the experiences and perspectives of eight individuals who identified themselves as both artists and adult educators teaching leadership in academic institutions and adult professional development programs. With individual artists who self-identified as both artists and faculty members in higher education and adult professional development settings, I employed the method of portraiture (Lawrence-

Lightfoot & Davis, 1997) as an embedded within an exploratory interview study with narrative inquiry. I took a qualitative approach to research that followed a flexible, inductive, and emergent process. This aligned with the general rationale for conducting qualitative studies that are not fixed to a linear sequence with predetermined steps, but rather flexible enough to evolve with new developments and changes to components of the design that are interconnected and interact with one another (Maxwell, 2013). It also reflected the description Creswell (2014) provides of qualitative research as an approach that “honors an inductive style” with “emerging questions and procedures” (p. 4).

Narrative inquiry was integrated with the design of an exploratory interview study. Narrative research, as a method, “begins with the experiences as expressed in lived and told stories of individuals” (Creswell & Poth, 2018, p. 67). It collects stories from research participants; stories that are “co-constructed between the researcher and the participant” (Creswell & Poth, 2018, p. 68). In this respect, I co-constructed narratives with research participants on their journey as artist-educators and how they taught leadership.

Finally, the method of portraiture (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis 1997) aligned well with narrative inquiry and was the core method that guided the process and production of findings for this study. According to Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis

(1997), portraiture pertains to “a method of qualitative research that blurs the boundaries of aesthetics and empiricism in an effort to capture the complexity, dynamics, and subtlety of human experience and organizational life” (p. xv). In this respect, it is a method of inquiry and presentation that that draws from multiple forms of qualitative research and joins science and art, integrating empirical rigor in research with the aesthetics of inquiring, interpreting, and presenting as an artistic process (Lawrence-

Lightfoot & Davis, 1997). As such, I also pursued an artistic and aesthetic approach to inquiring, interpreting, and presenting my findings as I used all of my senses to explore, resonance to make meaning, and my own lived and felt experiences with participants to create the portraits.

Resisting the “tradition-laden effort to document failure” in research, portraiture is also guided by a search for “goodness,” recognizing that goodness is complex and is inherently tied with imperfection with “ample evidence of vulnerability and weakness”

(Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997, p. 9). As such, I was also guided by an exploration of what was “good” in the experiences, journeys, and work of my participants, with all their nuances, dimensions, and complexities.

The research sample of this study consisted of eight artists who self-identified as artists (professional or amateur), from a variety of mediums including visual art, music, dance, and theater, as well as faculty teaching leadership in adult professional development programs or academic institutions. They were recruited through convenience and purposive sampling. One or two in-depth, semi-structured interviews were conducted with each participant, which were then transcribed, coded and analyzed to determine four common emergent themes that interweaved through the narratives of all participants. These common themes of the artist-educator, their personal learning and growth experiences with art, their leadership teaching, and their advice to artists teaching their first leadership course served as structural headings to scaffold and construct portraits.

Additional data sources were also used for the construction of portraits and integrated into the portraits. As such, interview data were triangulated and complemented with observations of teaching, course syllabi, and other teaching artifacts.

Data collected for course assignments that I completed and that involved interviews and observations with participants in previous years were also used with the consent of the participants and course instructors and the Teachers College Institutional Review Board.

The structural headings that emerged from the analysis of interviews organized all portraits together to allow for comparison across participant narratives, while preserving the unique, nuanced, complex, and rich dimensions of each person’s story and journey.

Constructed portraits were coded and analyzed across each structural heading to assess categorical patterns within each structural heading.

Anticipated Outcomes

By inquiring, understanding, and presenting how artists in my sample teach leadership, I hoped to shine a light on the value and resources these artists bring to the service of teaching and the ways in which who they are as artists matter at least as much as, if not more than, the methods they use to teach. Frequently relegated to the periphery or marginalized as “extracurricular” or “luxury” in the lives of “professionals” and work deemed “essential,” the value and essentiality of art have been frequently overlooked as have been artists who create the art (Nissley, 2010). Even in educational settings, especially those that involve adults learning and developing in leadership, many artists among those who teach are hidden, even if they may be present, as rational thinking is emphasized as rigor and intuitive expression considered play, if not liability. With the enormous potential and power art possesses to engender learning and growth, and the ways in which many artists can facilitate such outcomes, resources remain untapped, while artists hiding within the educators continue to struggle with their place in the academy and their own satisfaction in work. Through this study, I aspire to encourage the hidden and dormant artists within educators to come forth to light and own the value they bring to the academy and professions as they teach. I also seek to contribute to shifting cultures and work communities to be more welcoming and embracing of artists and art in the teaching of leadership in academic and professional development settings.

Researcher Perspectives

I, as the researcher of this study, am a visual artist and daughter of a musician.

From childhood, perhaps even from my mother’s womb, I was exposed to the arts. As a child, I loved to draw. I also listened to music on a daily basis and throughout each day as my mother played the piano and gave lessons at home while she also played the organ and conducted choirs at church. In addition, I wrote poetry and sang in choirs. I took art classes in elementary school and played the flute in children’s orchestra. In adolescence,

I danced and formed a dance troupe, choreographing dance routines for my high school gospel choir and musical theater productions. I also continued to play the flute in the high school band. As an adult, I learned ballet and modern dance and am now artistically emerging as a visual artist. Despite such art activities, I had never considered myself an

“artist,” did not necessarily relate to or find meaning in the artistic dimensions of my mother, and even forgot that art was a significant part of my life in earlier years, until I took a leadership course with an artist that shifted my perspectives and sense of identity.

Furthermore, the artist within me also did not fully emerge until I took studio art classes in painting, drawing, and etching and printmaking as electives during my doctoral studies at Teachers College. Painting and drawing helped me grieve the passing of my grandmother to whom I was very close, and the grieving helped me reach new depths in my painting and drawing where art became an integral part of my life and now integral part of who I have become. In this journey, I came to view and experience my learning with art, and becoming an artist, as transformative in both process and outcome. I also consider this a continual process. These perspectives, along with my experiences, influence my biases and intuitive assumptions around art and artists.

On a secondary note, I am also a leadership educator and studied leadership with faculty members who are musicians, visual artists, actors, and dancers and in classes where the curriculum drew from film, poetry, literature, music, and other forms of artistic engagement. I believe such people as instructors and activities in curriculum fostered transformation while I was learning leadership. Though I recognize that my journey and journeys of others are not generalizable or replicable, I hope they are resonant.

Moreover, it is my journey that shapes my interest in the artist teaching leadership and desire to learn more. It also compels me to lean towards advocating for artists, while validating the integration of arts in leadership development and adult education.

Assumptions

This study relies on a set of assumptions about the eight self-defined artists in my study and their approach to teaching leadership in academic or professional development settings. In lieu of relying on a traditional or predetermined definition of artist, I am taking as given their self-identification as artists and self-definition as artists as sufficient for identifying them as artists. The fact that I am exploring how they, as artists, teach leadership and integrate their artist selves into teaching also implies that these artists do view and approach their dual roles as artists and as educators in a more integrative way

(to teach as artists) than separate from each other. I am also assuming that teaching leadership is leadership development.

In addition, I am examining to what extent and how personal learning journeys and prior experiences with art, including those that were transformative, among the artists in my study have influenced their decisions and approaches to teaching leadership. This

15 assumes that art played a role and influenced their path and work as educators. I am also assuming artists in my sample have been engaged in personal learning with art and have experienced an evolution in their teaching from prior decisions and approaches to teaching without the influences or integration of art.

Rationale and Significance

I sought to understand how artist-educators—artists who are also faculty members of academic institutions and adult professional development programs—teach leadership and how their personal learning with art may have impacted their teaching. As the portraits of such individuals are uncovered through this study, I hope that they, and other artist-educators, will find support as well as validation for who they are as artists and what they can bring to the service of teaching leadership as well as teaching more broadly in the academy and professions. I also consider implications as to whether their perspectives and ways of being and working as artists would affirm or generate new insights for teaching leadership for others as well as themselves.

I hope this research will benefit both the artist-educators in this study and others who may resonate. In this respect, I hope that the process of inquiry and findings revealed through this study help artist-educators better understand, or consider new perspectives, around their experiences of teaching leadership, including enhancing self- awareness. With respect to the field of adult education and area of adult learning and leadership, this study aimed to generate new insights for faculty development in adult learning and what we may be able to learn from artists who are already integrating their roles as artists and as educators in their work of teaching leadership among adults.

Chapter II

LITERATURE REVIEW

This chapter reviews current literature with respect to the stated research questions in the previous chapter and examines current research along three thematic areas: (1) leadership development, (2) experiential learning, (3) transformative learning, and (4) art and artists in leadership development. Leadership development as a thematic area examines literature on leadership development theories and practices over time. The thematic area of experiential learning examines adult learning theories of experiential learning from focuses on constructivist perspectives and acknowledges other paradigms.

For the thematic area of transformative learning, both research and theoretical literature on transformative learning and adult development have been reviewed. Arts and expressive ways of knowing as other forms of transformative learning have also been reviewed and discussed in the thematic area of art and artists in leadership development.

The thematic area of art and artists in leadership teaching primary draw from literature that explore arts-based methods, artistic or arts-based interventions, arts and leadership development, arts and management education, and artists’ experiences and engagement with art and the world. Google, Google Scholar, and databases in the Columbia

University Catalogue (“CLIO”) that includes ProQuest and JSTOR and specific journals

(e.g. Academy of Management Journal, Adult Education Quarterly, Journal of

Transformative Education) were searched using the terms: leadership, leadership development, experiential learning, experience-based learning, transformative learning, embodied learning, embodied cognition, art and artists, arts-based methods, arts-based interventions, creativity, aesthetic experience, et cetera. Books on leadership from prior

17 course curriculum, article references, and suggestions were also reviewed. Literature across a number of years were gathered, ranging from 1980s to present, to capture both historical context and current perspectives. This chapter concludes with a conceptual framework that will guide the research and analysis.

Leadership Development

Over a number of years, we have witnessed a rapidly expanding market for leadership development. Leadership development has now become a global critical competency in human resource development (HRD) in numerous countries

(Thakadipuram, 2010, Turner et al., 2018). It has also become the largest expense item in total budgets for training, learning and development in most businesses across the United

States and around the world (Ardichvili et al., 2016). Leader- and leadership development over the last few decades have also emerged as an area of active theory building and research (Day, Fleenor, Atwater, Sturm, & McKee, 2014). Amidst such an expansion, however, there is no consensus, convergence, or general acceptance around how leadership is defined, how it can be studied, and how it can be developed and exercised as various questions leadership scholars over the years have raised have added

“complexity, but not clarity to our understanding” (Hackman & Wageman, 2007, p. 43).

Even with rapid evolution and growing trends in leadership development (Ardichvili et al., 2016), there is limited research on the process of leadership development (Muir,

2014; Turner, Baker, Schroeder, Johnson, & Chung, 2018). With a multitude of definitions for leadership (Ardichvili, Natt Och Dag, & Manderscheid, 2016), the field of leadership development is still considered undeveloped and premature with a plethora of

18 opportunities for theorists and researchers to contribute to its development (Day et al.,

2014). Moreover, recent leadership development literature offers very limited evidence on how adult graduate level courses in academic settings actually develop leaders

(O’Brien, 2016).

The challenges of understanding and theorizing on leadership and leadership development, however, are not new or recent. Lewin (1947) confronted the challenges that frequently emerged in the social sciences that involved the study of leadership and concepts surrounding the entity and concept of a group. In his view, some psychologists tended to “regard only individuals as real and measurable,” while “concepts like that of

‘leadership’ retained a halo of mysticism even after it had been demonstrated that it is quite possible to measure, and not only to ‘judge,’ leadership performance” (1947, p. 7).

With respect to examining concepts and aspects on a group level, he stated “in the social sciences it has usually been not the part but the whole, whose existence has been doubted” (1947, p. 8). The social sciences have since then evolved to reliably measure groups and study the various dynamics of groups and the interaction among individuals in them. Day (2000) emphasizes leadership as a complex interaction between environments and people that emerges in context of social systems and encourages scholars and practitioners to “approach leadership development as a process that transcends but does not replace individual leader development” (as cited in Day et al.,

2014, p. 77). Hackman and Wageman (2007) shed light on a new interpretation of

“shared leadership,” which goes beyond “partnership” or a “participative” approach.

Citing McGrath (1962), the authors reiterate the position that “anyone who fulfills critical system functions, or who arranges for them to be fulfilled, is exhibiting leadership”

(2007, p. 46). From the perspective of social cognitive theory, this aligns with how

Bandura (2001) discusses collective agency as exercised through socially interdependent and coordinative efforts and shaped by people’s communal belief in their collective power to bring about intended outcomes. Though there are many ways in which leadership can be defined and understood, leadership can also be viewed in terms of how

Bandura (2001) would define human agency. Agency, according to Bandura (2001),

“embodies the endowments, belief systems, self-regulatory capabilities and distributed structures and functions through with personal influence exercised” (p. 2). Agency can also take many forms, on both individual and collective levels, and leadership can also be understood in terms of “proxy agency” that involves the exercise of influence and power on behalf of another person or group to achieve desired outcomes (Bandura, 2001, p. 13).

Such an understanding of leadership clearly goes beyond the individual to consider a group and the various interactions and functions within that group.

Leadership has also been distinguished from management (Bennis, 2003;

Drucker, 2001; Kotter, 1990a, 1990b; Lunenburg, 2011; Mangelsdorf, 2009; Mintzberg,

2008, 2009; Zaleznik, 1977/2004; etc.). Zaleznik (1977/2004) distinguishes manager and leader by personality and the culture each would create and thrive in, stating that

“managers and leaders are very different people” who “differ in motivation, personal history, and in how they think and act” (para 9). For example, “a managerial culture emphasizes rationality and control” and is largely focused on problem solving as opposed to an “entrepreneurial culture” that leaders tend to foster (Zaleznik 1977/2004, para 4-8).

Zaleznik (1977/2004) also discusses how managers also hold “impersonal, if not passive, attitudes toward goals” (para 10), while leaders “adopt a personal and active attitude

20 toward goals” (para 13). Moreover, he distinguishes the manager’s “once-born” personality that drives a desire to belong and seek harmony with one’s environment from the leader’s “twice-born” personality that comes with separateness from one’s environment and propensity for change (Zaleznik, 1977/2004). Bennis (2003) differentiates leaders from managers as “those who master the context and those who surrender to it” (p. 39). He also lists a set of additional differences ranging from “the manager administers, the leader innovates,” “the manager is a copy; the leader is an original,” and “the manager relies on control; the leader inspires trust” to “the manager accepts the status quo; the leader challenges it” and “the manager does things right; the leader does the right thing” (Bennis, 2003, p. 39-40). According to Kotter (1990a), leadership and management are indeed distinct, but leadership is not necessarily more desirable or effective than management nor is it a replacement for management. In his view, management concerns “coping with complexity,” while leadership involves

“coping with change” (p. 104). As such, leadership and management are “two distinctive and complementary systems of action” that have their “own function and characteristic activities” and are both “necessary for success in an increasingly complex and volatile business environment” (Kotter, 1990a, p. 103). Mintzberg (2009), on the other hand, acknowledges how leadership and management can be distinct conceptually, but goes as far as resisting the separation in practice. He asserts that “instead of distinguishing managers from leaders, we should be seeing managers as leaders, and leadership as management practiced well” (Mintzberg, 2009, p. 9).

Both distinctions and overlaps between leadership and management are helpful to note and consider in relation to developing leadership on both individual and collective

21 levels. They are helpful in determining what capacities are needed for leadership in these current times and how artists and art may facilitate the development and strengthening of such capacities. In addition, while some scholars distinguish “leadership education” from

“leadership development” (Callahan & Rosser, 2007), these terms, along with “leadership teaching,” are used interchangeably in this study.

Experiential Learning

According to Follett (1924/2013), “the social process is not, first, scientific investigation, then some method of persuading the people to abandon their own experience and thought, and lastly an acclaiming populace,” but it is rather “a process of cooperating experience” (p. 30). In her words, “experience can both guide and guard us”

(Follet, 1924/2013, p. 302). Learning leadership must also include experience and learning from experience as McCall (2004) asserts: “the primary source of learning to lead, to the extent that leadership can be learned, is experience” (p. 127). Experiential learning is core feature of many leadership development courses and programs, and leadership learning has emphasized learning from experience (Argyris, 1991; Hackman

& Wageman, 2007; McCallum, 2008; O’Brien, 2016; etc.). Drawing from his observations of management consultants, Argyris (1991) describes what work processes and dynamics would look like when people in an organization are committed to continuous learning from experience that includes tolerating failure and feelings of failure along with productive reasoning over defensiveness. In these conditions, he asserts that people are “learning how to learn,” which in turn lays the “groundwork for continuous improvement that is truly continuous” for the organization (Argyris, 1991, p.

15). From a leadership perspective, Hackman and Wageman (2007) further assert how leaders ideally “would be motivated to behave in ways that foster their own continuous learning from their experiences” (p.46). Such continuous learning from experience “is far more readily accomplished than would be suggested by leadership models that emphasize the importance of fixed traits or capabilities” and “almost always requires that leaders overcome inherently self-limiting aspects of their existing mental models”

(Sternberg, 2007, as cited in Hackman & Wageman, 2007, p. 46). Leadership development that involves learning from experience may foster such capacities in leaders.

O’Brien (2016) examined how experiential and constructivist leader-development methods promote developmental growth for adult participants in professional graduate- level leadership courses that involved experiential learning and found a statistically significant correlation between students’ participation in an experiential course on adaptive leadership and their developmental growth. McCallum (2008) explores what opportunities are available for the continuous development of leaders who confront the

“challenges of change” and focuses on forms of leadership education where “experiential participation” is key to challenge “mental models and the biases, assumptions and behaviors that follow from them” (p. 5). In this effort, McCallum (2008) examines developmental diversity among participants in a Group Relations Experiential Learning

Conference sponsored by the Tavistock Institute and the A.K. Rice Institute for the Study of Social Systems. As learning from experience has been increasingly emphasized in leadership development, it is important to understand experiential learning theories in the broader context of adult learning, which would encompass leadership development.

Experiential learning theory that views “education and learning as a lifelong process that is soundly based in intellectual traditions of social psychology, philosophy, and cognitive psychology” with “a framework for examining and strengthening the critical linkages among education, work, and personal development” (Kolb, 2015, pp. 3-

4). The theory draws from both historical and more contemporary influences, including

Dewey, Lewin, Piaget, James, Rogers, Maslow, Freire, Vygotsky, and Jung who laid the foundations of experiential education theory (Kolb, 2015). Drawing from the work of these early scholars, Kolb (2015) offers a framework for understanding the process of experiential learning and working definition of experiential learning that pertains to “the process whereby knowledge is created through the transformation of experience” (p. 49).

This process, according to Kolb (2015), is continuous as it is dynamic and can be explained in terms of a “learning cycle” that includes “concrete experience,” “reflective observation,” “abstract conceptualization,” and “active experimentation” (p. 51).

Andersen, Boud, and Cohen (2000) describe experience-based learning (EBL; otherwise known as experiential learning), which involves the learner as the center of teaching and learning. The key component of experience-based learning entails learners analyzing their experience by reflecting, evaluating, and reconstructing their experience to draw meaning from it in the light of past experiences, which could shape future actions

(Anderson, Boud, & Cohen, 2000). The key assumptions of EBL are that learning is founded on experience, experience is constructed by learners, the process of learning is holistic, learning is shaped by the socio-emotional context in which it takes place and socially and culturally constructed (Anderson, Boud, & Cohen, 2000).

Fenwick (2000) defines experiential learning as “a process of human cognition” and offers five perspectives of experiential learning (p. 244). According to the author,

“the root of the word cognition in fact means ‘to learn,’ and thus the two terms are used interchangeably” in her discussion of each perspective (2000, p. 244). Each perspective

Fenwick (2000) offers is also “framed as pedagogical theories of experiential learning” that can serve “as prescriptive basis for instructional design and intervention and as descriptive or interpretive tools for understanding learning environments” (p. 245).

These five perspectives center on reflection from a constructivist perspective, interference from a psychoanalytic perspective, participation from situated cognition perspective, resistance from a critical cultural perspective, and co-emergence from an enactivist perspective (Fenwick, 2000). Lundgren et al. (2017) explicitly explore and conceptualize reflection from the five perspectives on experiential learning that Fenwick

(2000) offers. Justice et al. (2020) take the next step from conceptualization to suggest a hybrid constructivist-situative framework to operationalize reflection.

Multiple perspectives of experiential learning are helpful to consider for leadership development. This chapter will focus on constructivist perspectives, which align well with many experiential leadership development approaches to date (O’Brien,

2016) as well as arts-based approaches to learning leadership and management

(Springborg & Ladkin, 2018). Leadership education grounded on constructivist methods

“features significant overlap with experiential leadership design” (O’Brian, 2016, p. 14).

Many arts-based interventions in management learning have also followed a constructivist paradigm where facilitators create a space where learning emerges in the absence of predefined models and predetermined outcomes (Springborg & Ladkin, 2018).

Constructivist Perspectives

Experiential learning from a constructivist perspective is a “prevalent and influential adult learning theory” that focuses on the “the individual as a central actor in a drama of personal meaning-making” where “the learner reflects on lived experience and then interprets and generalizes this experience to form mental structures” (Fenwick,

2000, p. 248). According to Springborg and Ladkin (2018), a constructivist learning paradigm “emphasizes learning interventions as support for individuals constructing their own personal models rather than providing students with predefined models” (p. 536).

Fenwick (2000) identifies and draws from Schon as “a significant promoter of constructivism to understand workplace learning” (p. 249). Schon (1987) focuses on

“reflection-in-action,” as distinct from reflection on action, and discusses this type of reflection with respect to “professional artistry” and as essential to “professional competence” (p. 35). He mentions how reflection-in-action is based on a “constructivist view,” in which “our perceptions, appreciations, and beliefs are rooted in worlds of our own making that we come to accept as reality,” as opposed to an “objectivist view” that forms “technical rationality” where “facts are what they are, and the truth of beliefs is strictly testable by reference to them” (p. 36). With respect to constructivist learning in the workplace, practitioners are suggested to learn by diagnosing problems and then engaging in inquiry and experimental actions towards solutions (Fenwick, 2000). Here,

“knowledge is constructed through reflection during and after this experimental action on the ill-defined and messy problems of practice” (Fenwick, 2000, p. 249). Expanding on the prevailing constructivist views of adult learning of her time, Fenwick (2000) also mentions the contributions of Brookfield (1987) and Mezirow (1990) in theorizing about

26 critical reflection in a process of transformative learning from a constructivist perspective.

Reflection and Complexity

Debriefing and reflection are considered essential stages in experiential learning

(Anderson, Boud, & Cohen, 2000). Marsick, Weaver, and Yorks (2014) provide a framework of learning through reflection on experience where people “become aware of the problematic aspects of an experience, probe these features, and learn new ways to understand and address the challenges they encounter” (2014, p. 563). Here, reflection fosters patience in diagnosing problems and greater awareness of the complexity of a given situation along with surrounding assumptions that may need to be reexamined for progress (Marsick, Weaver, & Yorks, 2014). At this stage, reflection can open up lines of thought for exploration that might have otherwise gone unexamined and allow for a more accurate interpretation of the situation and emotions with new options for action

(Marsick et al., 2014). Reflection is available to everyone, and “as people develop new capabilities and habits, ongoing reflection on their experiences will help them learn additional skills and more nuanced approaches to complex situations” (Marsick et al.,

2014, p. 575). The increased recognition of complexity and development of more nuanced approaches to complex situations seem to reflect the development of complexity as a capacity for leadership. This carries important implications for leadership teaching.

Transformative Learning

Similar to the evolution of leadership research that Lewin (1947) discusses as starting with the study of only the individual and then broadening to consider groups,

27 group dynamics, and the interaction of individuals within groups, transformative learning theory has also developed from originating with analysis on the level of the individual and expanding over time to consider social factors, group dynamics, and social change.

The theory of transformative learning can be considered a theory of perspective transformation as initially developed by Jack Mezirow. According to Mezirow (2012), transformative learning entails the transformation of given and unexamined frames of reference, including mindsets and meaning perspectives, to render them more open, inclusive, discerning, adaptable, and reflective. It also involves engagement with constructive discourse where the experiences of others are used to evaluate the reasons behind held assumptions and lead to deciding actions based on resulting new insights

(Mezirow, 2012). Cranton (2016) also describes the process as a choice:

When something unexpected happens, when a person encounters something that does not fit in with his or her expectations of how things should be, based on past experience, the choices are to reject the unexpected or to question the expectation. When people critically examine their habitual expectations, revise them, and act on the revised point of view, transformative learning occurs. (p. 15)

Cranton (2016) provides an overview of transformative learning theory and its evolution from what appeared to be a linear ten-step transition model that emphasized the rational processes of critical self-reflection and discourse to a more complex, dynamic, and comprehensive theory that other scholars have contributed to and elaborated upon to include alternative views and processes that go beyond rationality. Since its origins and development in the 1970s, transformative learning theory has evolved to now encompass a variety of perspectives and approaches. This provides for a more holistic and integrative understanding of transformative learning that is inclusive of emotions, arts- based learning, embodied learning, spirituality, storytelling, and relational learning

(Cranton, 2016; Cranton & Taylor, 2012). Along this evolution, however, transformative learning has been increasingly “used to refer to almost any kind of learning outcome” without sufficient parameters to sustain its coherence and distinctive meaning (Hoggan,

2016, p. 58). In response, Hoggan (2016) offers a typology of a “metatheory” of transformative learning outcomes that encompass a wide range of perspectives in addition to a definition of transformative learning with criteria that can help determine whether transformative learning occurred in a given experience. The typology of transformative learning outcomes he suggests include changes in worldview, self, epistemology, ontology, behavior, and capacity as he defines transformative learning as

“processes that result in significant and irreversible changes in the way a person experiences, conceptualizes, and interacts with the world” (Hoggan, 2016, p. 71). This definition preserves the holistic and integrative perspective of transformative learning that Cranton (2016) proposes and includes multiple ways of knowing, relational, and extrarational perspectives.

Moving beyond purely rational and cognitive perspectives on transformative learning, Dirkx (2006) proposes imaginative approaches or imaginal methods that engage emotion and affect in transformative learning. He discusses the ways in which the expression and experience of emotion are an integral part of the transformative learning process and the journey of individuation to develop more authentic relationships with one’s self and with others. In his more recent work, Dirkx (2012) builds on the application of depth psychology. In contrast to Mezirow’s approach to explaining transformative learning that centers around “fostering rational processes of critical reflection in adult learning,” the depth perspective emerges from Robert Boyd’s “long-

29 standing efforts to understand more deeply and fully the unconscious forces that characterize dynamics of small, adult learning groups” (Dirkx, 2012, p. 116). According to Boyd, as stated in Dirkx (2012), Mezirow’s theory “focuses on the adaptive task of instrumentally responding to reality demands, whereas the depth perspective emphasizes relational, emotional, and largely unconscious issues associated with development of the individual interpersonal interactions, and social development” (p. 116). Drawing from several Jungian and post-Jungian scholars, Dirkx (2012) extends Boyd’s work to the deeply emotional and image-laden contexts of transformative learning, which involves nurturing the soul or soul work.

Shapiro, Wasserman, and Gallegos (2012) provide a framework to explore transformative learning as it takes place in the context of groups and various forms of dialogue within them. The authors mention different types of transformative learning groups and their characteristics according to various factors that include the “locus of change” in the habits of mind and habits of being on multiple levels of the intrapersonal, interpersonal, intragroup, intergroup, organizational, and societal (p. 361). Perhaps considered a kind of holding environment, one kind of group exists to facilitate personal growth and self-awareness where self-discovery takes place in the context of relationship with others. This could “provide a context in which individuals can critically assess their assumptions and frames of reference, get in touch with and express their emotions, reflect on their own behavior, dialogue with aspects of their own subconscious, and reach new levels of personal integration and development” (Shapiro, Wasserman, & Gallegos, 2012, p. 363). The authors also explore the depth psychology approach to transformative learning that involves dialogue with the self—between the ego and other hidden parts of

30 one’s self—and achieving an expanded self-concept though integration of various parts of the self. Here, the locus of change is “clearly on the intrapersonal and perhaps interpersonal levels, as new learnings and personal capacities can lead to changes in our interpersonal behaviors” (Shapiro, Wasserman, & Gallegos, 2012, p. 365). Here, personal change—including growth in our internal capacities—leads to collective change in social system as group dynamics evolve. This connection between personal change and collective, social, change aligns with insights Hoggan (2016) shares in response to criticisms of Mezirow’s emphasis on cognitive processes of transformative learning and individual change that seemingly does not take into account social issues. According to

Hoggan (2016), the theory of transformative learning was “originally developed specifically to address the learning involved in broad social change” (p. 59). In this respect, he states, “social structures indeed need to change, but profound learning at the individual level will be necessary along with those structural changes for substantive social change to occur” (Hoggan, 2016, p. 59).

Transformative Learning as Adult Development

Gould (1990) identifies concepts of adult development as the bridge between psychotherapy and adult learning and discusses adult development theory along with steps of therapeutic work that constitutes transformative learning. In this effort, he also describes a therapeutic learning program that involves transformative learning with the use of technology—then, a computer mediating self-reflectivity. According to Gould, adults must “learn how to adapt to a whole new set of circumstances as they go through life’s transitions” and “revise a meaning perspective of the past and change behavior patterns and attitudes” that, though “once adaptive,” are now “outdated” even as they

31 continue to them feel safe and comfortable (1990, p. 134). In this context, transformative learning interrelates with adult development. It entails “not only change in what we know or are able to do but also a dramatic shift in how we come to know and how we understand ourselves in relation to the broader world” (Dirkx, 2012, p. 116). Mezirow considered transformative learning “almost identical to” or at least at the foundation or

“central process” of adult development theory (Marsick & Finger, n.d., p. 9). Robert

Kegan’s theory on constructive development entails evolution in subject and object relations as people move through stages of development with increasing degrees of complexity in their ways of knowing (Kegan, 1982, 1994, 2000). Kegan mentions

Mezirow’s explanation of a frame of reference as involving both a habit of mind and a point of view—in other words, “at its root, a frame of reference is a way of knowing”

(2000, p. 52). Here, authentic transformational learning always involves an epistemological change rather a change in behavioral repertoire alone or expansion of knowledge (Kegan, 2000). What distinguishes transformative learning from constructive developmentalism is the line of thought where: “The educational line of thought is transformational learning; the psychological line of thought is constructive developmentalism” (Kegan, 2000, p. 53). Both lines of thoughts point to the

“complexification of mind” that goes beyond “the mere addition of new capacities (an aggregation model), nor the substitution of a new capacity for an old one (a replacement model)” and involves “the subordination of once-ruling capacities to the dominion of more complex capacities, an evolutionary model that again distinguishes transformation from other kinds of change” (Kegan, 2000, p. 60). In this light, “Educators seeking self- direction from their adult students are not merely asking them to take on new skills,

32 modify their learning style, or increase their self-confidence. They are asking many of them to change the whole way they understand themselves, their world, and the relationship between the two. They are asking many of them to put at risk the loyalties and devotions that have made up the very foundation of their lives” (Kegan, 2002, p. 67).

Consequently, transformative learning involves the “creative function of the cognitive crisis [where] creativity occurs within a cognitive system when old habitual modes of interpretation become dysfunctional, demanding a shifting of ground or viewpoint”

(O’Sullivan, 2002, p. 4). Accordingly, “the breakdown, or crisis, motivates the system to self-organize in more inclusive ways of knowing, embracing, and integrating data of which it had been previously unconscious” (O’Sullivan, 2002, p. 4).

Leadership Development as Continuous Transformation

In our increasingly complex and rapidly changing context, leadership and leadership development in the 21st century as well as into the future requires a break from our past paradigms and approaches towards new paradigms and approaches that reflect and foster new possibilities and capacities. Adler (2006) mentions, “Twenty-first century society yearns for a leadership of possibility, a leadership based more on hope, aspiration, and innovation than on the replication of historical patterns of constrained pragmatism” (p. 487). As Argyris (1991) and Hackman and Wageman (2007) have emphasized the importance of continual learning in organizations and leadership, such shifts in perspectives and ways of exercising leadership with ongoing hope, aspiration, and innovation may require greater capacities for continuous transformation.

Nevertheless, most studies and programs to date, from a constructive development lens, have focused on self-authorship as the last realistic stage of development or what we need

33 to work towards fostering in leadership development (Hesling et al., 2008). Leadership development in today’s context requires further development beyond self-authorization to fostering the capacities of individuals and organizations to continuously transform. From the perspective of constructive developmental theory, this may call for development towards a self-transforming way of knowing. McCauley, Drath, Palus, O’Conner, and

Baker (2006) view this self-transforming stage that centers around “self-exploration and on-going development of self and others” (p. 638). Here, “conflict is experienced as inevitable and an opportunity to engage in mutual transformation with others,” and “the world is viewed less in terms of dichotomies or polarities and more in terms of dynamic, mutually-transforming systems” (McCauley et al., 2006, p. 638). Torbert and Cook-

Greuter (2004) discuss the power of action inquiry as “a way of simultaneously conducting action and inquiry as a disciplined leadership practice that increases the wider effectiveness of our actions,” which in turn “helps individuals, teams, organizations, and still larger institutions become more capable of self-transformation and thus more creative, more aware, more just, and more sustainable” (p. 1). In addition, action inquiry is a “lifelong process of transformational learning” (Torbert & Cook-Greuter, 2004, p. 1), and in this respect, it may also help people develop self-transforming capacities. Adler

(2006) also recognizes the need for continuous transformation where “constant, intuition- based innovation is required to respond to discontinuous change; without it, no business can succeed in the 21st century” and actively asserts how the arts could facilitate such capacities in leadership and management (p. 490). The need and call for self- transforming capacities and the ways in which art could help yields important implications for leadership development in both the 21st century as well as beyond.

Art and Artists in Leadership Development

Scharmer (2016) refers to leaders as artists. They are artists in that they “initiate innovation or change” as he further asserts that “all leaders and innovators, whether in business, communities, government, or nonprofit organizations, do what artists do: they create something new and bring it into the world” (2016, p. 22). Such creative expression is leadership. Creative expression, according to Hoggan, Simpson, and Stuckey (2009),

“is a powerful tool to access knowledge that resides deep within us and allows our conscious thinking to interact with our subconscious knowledge, thus yielding a more holistic understanding of ourselves, our experiences, and the world in which we live” (p.

16). According to Hayes and Yorks (2007), art can significantly impact people and societies and facilitate learning on personal and social levels as it possesses the power to penetrate psychological and societal boundaries and render them more open and fluid.

Art also “engages all of our senses, awakening our imaginative and intellectual capabilities” (Lawrence, 2005, p. 8). Along all of these lines, aesthetic education— learning with art—is “integral to the development of persons—to their cognitive, perceptual, emotional, and imaginative development” (Greene, 2001, p. 7). Furthermore,

“how the artist is trained, and works can produce important insights into what is needed to perform and what it means to lead and manage” (Schein, 2013, p. 2). Recognizing the powerful ways in which art can foster development personally and socially, this segment of the literature review draws primarily from scholarship on arts-based methods in leadership and management education (Adler, 2006, 2011, 2015; Barrett, 1998, 2012;

Gardner, 2012; Schein, 2013; Sutherland, 2013; Taylor & Ladkin, 2009, etc.) as well as

35 the extrarational and aesthetic perspectives in adult education and transformative learning

(Brookfield, 2005; Brookfield & Holst, 2011; Dirkx 2001a, 2001b, 2006, 2012; Greene,

1995, 2001; Lawrence, 2005, 2008; Yorks & Kasl 2002, 2006; etc.). While art can be broadly examined and discussed in its value to the world, the remainder of this section focuses on those aspects that address my research questions on how the artists in my sample teach leadership. As such, arts-based methods, art and creativity, learning with art, artists teaching leadership, and the role of the artist-educator are explored more closely.

Arts-based Methods

Adler (2006) identifies an increasing trend in the use of arts-based methods in leadership and management education and explores why a growing number of companies have turned to artists for help and integrated artistic processes in their approaches to management and leadership. In an era that calls for greater capacities for complex thinking and adaptation in fast changing environments, many approaches to leadership development are drawing from the arts (Adler, 2006, 2011, 2015; Schein, 2013). Art has been increasingly considered and recognized as an effective way to foster leadership capacities for success in complex times (Adler, 2006, 2011, 2015; Barrett, 1998, 2012;

Gardner, 2012; Schein, 2013; Sutherland, 2013; Taylor & Ladkin, 2009, etc.). As such, there is much we have learned, and can continue to learn, through arts-based methods in learning leadership.

Taylor and Ladkin (2009) explore arts-based methods in managerial development and provide a typology of arts-based processes with case study illustrations. Their study revealed that the use of arts within business may improve organizational culture,

36 processes, and outcomes and their typology for arts-based methods are underpinned by four distinctive processes that include: 1) skills transfer where the development of artistic skills can be applied to enhance work in organizational settings; 2) projective technique that allows participants to become aware of inner thoughts and feelings that may not be accessible through more traditional developmental modes; 3) illustration of essence that enable participants to better understand the essence of a concept, situation, or tacit knowledge in a specific way; and 4) art making that can foster deeper experience of personal presence, connection, and healing. These four distinct processes involve learning, in both rational and extrarational ways.

Other scholars have also examined arts-based methods in leadership and management education. For example, Gardner (2012) explores how expressive arts enhances critical reflection through a descriptive case study of the author’s course that draws from observations and narrative analysis of student and self (as instructor) reflections. The case study supported the value of expressive arts in academic work and illustrated how an expressive art activity expanded students’ agency and complexity of understanding (Gardner, 2012). According to the author, expressive arts strategies

“invite students to attend to multiple ways of knowing while working alone or with others. Forms of artistic expression invite new opportunities for inquiry, experience and sense-making, which in turn, offer students new landscapes of reflection on themselves, their studies and their views of the world” (2012, p. 409). Sutherland (2013) examines arts-based methods in leadership development by analyzing 24 essays by executive MBA students who participated in a one-day conducting masterclass for leadership development. Using an inductive, grounded theory approach, the author develops a three-

37 stage theoretical model that illustrates how arts-based learning environments offer aesthetic workspaces where participants engaged in aesthetic reflexivity can create memories with momentum that would inform their leadership practice (2013).

Art and Creativity

According to Scharmer (2016), the “primary job” of leadership “is to enhance the individual and systemic capacity to see, to deeply attend to the reality that people face and enact,” while “the leader’s real work is to help people discover the power of seeing and seeing together” (p. 132). This capacity can be facilitated by artists as Schein (2013) views artists as ones who can shift our view of reality and the ways in which we may engage with it:

By emphasizing creativity as an intrinsic aspect of all reality, the artist invites us to look at reality in a different way; reality is not out there to be seen and appreciated. Rather, reality is perpetually constructed through our own daily creative activities. Or perhaps a better way to put this is to say that the important part of reality, the part that matters, is the part that we create for ourselves through those activities that we own and in which we express ourselves. (Schein, 2013, p. 3)

As Schein (2013) asserts, creativity is at the heart of artistic processes and outcomes. In addition to influencing the way we perceive reality, the artist and art can be both a catalyst and a reflection of creativity and innovative capacity for an individual as well as a system. In addition, as creativity has become highly valued as indispensable to sustaining organizations in the face of technological advancement and shifts, the significance of leaders and managers “as artists” along with arts-based training has become clear (Liotas, 2014). Along these lines, a number of research and theoretical articles explore creativity as it relates to innovation, intrinsic motivation, and affect and emotions, which are discussed below.

Innovation. Shalley, Zhou, and Oldham (2004) distinguish creativity from innovation. According to the authors, “creativity refers to the development of novel, potentially useful ideas,” whereas “when the ideas are successfully implemented at the organization or unit level would they be considered innovation” (Shalley, Zhou, &

Oldham, 2004, p. 934). Innovation can take many forms from scientific success to change in organizational practices, and several studies have examined how engagement with art may foster innovation. Root-Bernstein et al. (2008), for example, used mixed methods of narrative study and survey analysis to test whether arts foster scientific success. Comparing biographies of Nobel Laureates between 1901 and 2005 with results of two surveys conducted in 1936 and 1982 of Sigma Xi members and arts avocations among the U.S. public respectively, the researchers found significant relationships between success as a scientist and evidence of regular arts and crafts engagement (Root-

Bernstein et al., 2008). Summarizing findings from the scientists they studied, the authors discuss functional integration between disciplines and call for a broadening of current science curricula to include arts and crafts: “As several of the scientists noted above, purely academic skills are not sufficient to train a person for creative scientific work. Such creative work requires the entire range of abilities subsumed in the arts and crafts, integrated and focused on specific scientific problems and techniques” (Root-

Bernstein et al., 2008, p. 60). Liotas (2014) also discusses how combining arts and

Gestalt practice could develop skills in leadership, innovation, and change management.

From the perspective of neuroscience, creativity has been primarily associated with activities of the right brain (Liotas, 2014). As such, skills in innovation and creative ability can be developed by engaging right-brain activities (Liotas, 2014). Many other

39 studies explore and examine how arts can foster innovation, and there are many more studies that one could review to understand art in relation to creative breakthrough in organizations.

Intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation has been widely understood to be essential to creativity as well as to learning. Shalley, Zhou, and Oldham (2004) refer to intrinsic motivation as “the extent to which an individual is excited about a work activity and engages in it for the sake of the activity itself” (p. 935). Intrinsic motivation is also important in leadership as well as closely linked to art and creativity. Adler (2006) discusses how management experts understood how intrinsic motivation was essential to leadership as artists also understood its importance. Other scholars have also examined intrinsic motivation as it relates to creativity. Grant and Berry (2011), for example, conduct three studies, involving a longitudinal study, to explore conditions under which intrinsic motivation promotes creativity. Through all the studies, the authors found support for the hypothesis that prosocial motivation strengthens the association between intrinsic motivation and creativity and that prosocial motivation was significantly associated with perspective taking. All three studies provide convergent evidence revealing that perspective taking, as generated by prosocial motivation, strengthens the association between intrinsic motivation and creativity. This carries important implications for practice where managers who have traditionally sought to stimulate creativity by fostering conditions that are conductive intrinsic motivation “run the risk of enhancing intrinsic motivation without also cultivating the prosocial motivation and perspective taking that can facilitate the production of ideas that are creative in context”

(Grant & Berry, 2011, p. 93). Such principles are helpful to consider in designing

40 leadership programs, and it is important to be mindful of how art may also facilitate the development of intrinsic and prosocial motivation required to foster creativity in groups and organizations.

Affect and emotions. In addition to intrinsic motivation, affect and emotions are also considered to be closely connected to creativity. For example, Amabile, Barsade,

Mueller, and Staw (2005) explore how affect relates to creativity at work through a multi- study longitudinal research study that utilized both quantitative and qualitative data from diaries of 222 employees over a period of several months in seven companies. The results of their research revealed that positive affect relates positively to creativity in organizations with important implications for workplace learning and productivity, that include an organizational culture promoting positive emotions also facilitating creativity.

As art has been known to also generate positive emotions, integrating art into organizational culture may facilitate positive emotions that could foster creativity in learning and productivity in the workplace.

Learning with Art

According to Schein (2013), artists “can stimulate us to broaden our skills, our behavioral repertory, and our flexibility of response” (p. 1). In addition, arts-based approaches expand our cultural perspectives by recognizing and honoring different ways of knowing and learning (Lawrence, 2005). This allows individuals to engage with the world more holistically, and thereby deepening an understanding of self, others, and the world. Arts-based interventions in organizations can also facilitate “training and personal development and transformation of organizations through transformation of individual managers” (Springborg & Ladkin, 2018, p. 533). As such, transformative learning may

41 be embedded in a process of learning with art. Learning with art takes a variety of forms and happens in a variety of ways. These can include experiential learning with art, embodied learning with art, public learning with art, transformative learning with art, surfacing emotions through art, and healing and wholeness with art, which are further discussed below.

Experiential learning with art. Experiential learning with art can encompass both embodied experiences and experiential learning from a constructivist paradigm.

Liotas (2014), for example, discusses Gestalt practice and arts-based training as a way to develop skills in leadership, change management, and innovation from a holistic view of the mind, body, and spirit. Gestalt practice, according to Liotas (2014), is a “highly experiential approach” that focuses on “here and now emerging experiences” in the learning space which, combined with arts, can help organizations and individuals exercising leadership develop (pp. 171-172). Such experiences move beyond intellectual development as “artistic forms represent direct experience, whereas intellectual forms represent conceptualized experience” (Taylor, 2008, p. 399). Experimentation is another aspect of experiential learning. From a constructivist perspective, reflection-in-action helps learners to not only think in a different way but create and experiment with new ways of understanding and acting as well as viewing problems (Schon, 1987). Moreover, spaces of learning that cultivate reflection-in-action in such a way are likely found in the art studio and conservatory (Schon, 1987). Along these lines, Schon (1987) describes how jazz musicians demonstrate reflection-in-action as they improvise together throughout a performance, which requires both listening to self and others as they improvise and “feel the directions in which the music is developing” and “make new

42 sense of it” (p. 30). In addition to experimentation, learning with art can also generate empathy as an experience. Referring to John Dewey’s work in Art as Experience (1934),

Greene (1995) suggests that “it may well be the ‘imaginative capacity’ that allows us also to experience empathy with different points of view, even with interests apparently at odds with ours” (p. 31). Drawing from the work of Heron (1992), Kasl and Yorks (2016) discuss the construct of emotional empathy embedded in experiential knowing, which

“derives from embodied resonance with phenomena,” which is “prelinguistic, affective, and tacit” (p. 5). In this respect, there is significant overlap between experiential learning and embodied learning.

Embodied learning with art. According to Clark (2012), “embodied knowing makes the argument that knowing is not simply a cognitive process; we also know in and through our bodies” (p. 426). Stolz (2015) identifies shortcomings with exclusively psychological approaches to education, and argues that embodiment is a central feature of educational learning. Referring to phenomenology according to Merleau-Ponty (1962),

Stolz (2015) supports the idea of mind-body integration in our experience of the world and asserts that “our engagement with the world is not just limited to the cognitive domain, we need to recognize that a large part of our interest in the world is emotional, practical, aesthetic, imaginative and so on” (p. 478). Similarly, Springborg and Ladkin

(2018) also present an embodied view of cognition as “grounded in the body and the body’s interaction with the environment” (p. 534). Scholars have also viewed embodied learning with art and its effects on leadership and management learning. Liotas (2014) describes embodied learning as cultivating presence as majority of methods in art-based training “have the potential to use the bodies of the trainees and involve them holistically

43 in the training sessions,” which in turn is “essential for cultivating presence” (p. 173).

Drawing embodied cognition as an explanatory theory, Springborg and Ladkin (2018) explore how creating art and engaging with art objects can generate new stimulations that would expand one’s repertoire of behavioral responses and possibilities in managerial learning and practice. Joy and Sherry (2003) focus on somatic experience and discuss art as “embodied imagination” as they also draw from Merleau-Ponty (1962) and study 30 museum visitors and how they use all of their senses to engage with art. Bennett (2012) conducted a case study on somatic learning in a leadership development program and explores how learning takes place through the body in leadership development. As these studies point out, embodied learning is particularly relevant to learning with art as it is important for leadership development.

Public learning with art. Zorilla and Tisdell (2016) discuss art as critical pedagogy through a qualitative case study of the artist Luis Camnitzer and his conceptual art. According to the authors, “art can be a form of adult education, and when publicly displayed, a form of public pedagogy. When it is used to raise critical consciousness about social justice issues, it can be a form of critical public pedagogy” (2016, p. 274).

Through in-depth interviews with Luis Camnitzer, textual analysis of documents and artifacts of Camnitzer’s artwork and writings, and qualitative data analysis of interviews and textual analysis, their research highlights how the arts can be used as a tool for ethical discourse and public learning. Other scholars have also mentioned art in terms of public learning and social change. Hooks (1995) discusses art as “visual politics” that how art may empower and be a liberating force among African-Americans. Brookfield and Holst (2011) cite Herbert Marcuse’s The Aesthetic Dimension (1978) to consider the

44 political significance of art and the aesthetic aspects of learning that challenge conventional ways of meaning making and opens people up to the non-rational, spontaneous, and emotional aspects of their being. Schein (2013) mentions that in past and current times when people have sought “stability and predictability” from the environment around them and the choices they make, “art does and should disturb, provoke, shock, and inspire” confrontation with what most would “normally avoid” and changes in conventional norms and thinking (p. 1). As leadership can be considered an act of public service and way to catalyze social change, how art facilitates public learning is important to examine.

Transformative learning with art. The arts have been considered a medium that fosters transformative learning. “Artistic forms of expression extend the boundaries of how we come to know, by honoring multiple intelligences and indigenous knowledge

[and]…broadens cultural perspectives by allowing and honoring diverse ways of knowing and learning” (Lawrence, 2005, p. 3). Brookfield and Holst (2011) also discuss how art both provides an opportunity for us to break away from the familiar and induces within us an awareness of alternative ways of interacting with the world (p. 146). Art and aesthetic engagement can contribute to transformative learning by engaging people’s spirituality, imagination, and whole-body knowing and allowing them to reconstruct their beliefs and discover new meaning accordingly (Hoggan, Simpson, & Stuckey, 2009).

Barrett (1998) discusses the development of “provocative competence”—”a leadership skill that involves challenging habits and conventional practices, challenging members to experiment in the margins and to stretch in new directions” (p. 618). According to

Lawrence (2005), “making space for creative expression in the adult education classroom

45 and other learning communities helps learners uncover hidden knowledge that cannot easily be expressed in words. It opens up opportunities for adult learners to explore phenomena holistically, naturally, and creatively, thus deepening understanding of self and the world” (p. 3).

Lawrence and Cranton (2009) explore how transformative learning is fostered through photography. Drawing from their own experiences and reflections from personal experience integrated with literature review, the authors take a “holistic, integrative, and arts-based approach” by looking at photography “as a metaphor for looking at the same object (or event or person) from different vantage points” (2009, p. 316). According to the authors, some processes of how photography can foster transformative learning include reflection, imagination of new possibilities, and increased self-awareness (2009).

Artistic expression in learning can facilitate transformation. Yorks and Kasl

(2002) draw from the work of Heron (1992) to discuss presentational knowing and whole-person knowing through a reflective account of experience with a way in which visual and dramatic expression in a cohort integrated multiple ways of knowing and facilitated pathways of empathic connection. According to the authors, presentational knowing through expressive processes, can help learners know themselves and others as whole persons by bringing felt experience and emotions into conscious awareness (Yorks

& Kasl, 2002). In a later study, Yorks and Kasl (2006) conduct a qualitative study of multiple case studies and interviews to develop a taxonomy for using expressive ways of knowing to foster transformative learning. According to the authors, transformative learning refers to a “wholistic change in how a person both affectively experiences and conceptually frames his or her experience of the world when pursuing learning that is

46 personally developmental, socially controversial, or requires personal or social healing

(pp. 45-46).” In this light, their findings describe personal capacities of educators and a taxonomy that encompasses the creation of the learning environment and the fostering of transformative learning through expressive ways of knowing (Yorks & Kasl, 2006).

These learning environments must also allow for emotions to be surfaced and engaged, and art has been a way to help surface and engage emotions.

Surfacing emotions. Emotions are foundational to adult education as they could either hinder or motivate learning (Dirkx, 2001a, p. 63). Yorks and Kasl (2006) assert that “not only must feelings be dealt with when they arise, but feelings must be intentionally evoked and engaged when the educational purpose is to foster transformative learning” (p. 46). Art can also provoke change and generate greater self- awareness and adaptivity, which involves the surfacing of emotions. Schein (2013) states, “To the extent that art shocks or stimulates, it allows us to surface feelings that we may not have been aware of in ourselves,” and “incorporating those feelings into our emotional repertory and acting on them makes us richer and more flexible human beings”

(p. 2). Dirkx (2006) explores how the experience and expression of emotion are deeply embedded in the transformative learning process and the journey of individuation and authenticity on personal and relational levels. According to Schein (2013), “art and the artist communicate directly with elements of our unconscious and thereby encourage us to broaden the range of perceptions and feelings that we allow ourselves” (p. 1). Dirkx

(2001b, 2012) explores transformative learning as “soul work” as it relates to the development of a conscious dialogue between the conscious and unconscious through which wholeness of the self may be fostered.

Healing and wholeness with art. The arts have also become increasingly looked to as a way to foster healing and wholeness. According to Taylor and Ladkin (2009),

“Art making can facilitate a process of becoming more holistically aligned within ourselves as we learn to reflect in an embodied way,” which “in turn allows us to free more of our potential as human beings” (p. 67). In this respect, art can foster wholeness.

From an aesthetic perspective, art communicates in a language that is holistic and

“produces appreciation and knowing—a form of understanding—by provoking holistic integration” (Adler, 2018, p. 124). In our increasingly turbulent world with many disruptions, healing and growth in wholeness may strengthen resilience and the capacity to lead as well as facilitate healing and wholeness in others, including organizations and communities.

Artists in Leadership Development

In the previous section, scholarship on arts-based methods in leadership and management trainings and organizational practices were discussed. These helped illuminate the prevalence of arts-based methods in management and leadership trainings, the growing use of the arts to facilitate learning, and the ways in which artistic engagement could foster transformative learning. Nevertheless, art in these settings were largely considered an activity, a tool, or a means to facilitate a learning outcome. In this respect, art was assumed to be separate from the artist and outside of the person creating the art. This, however, creates a dichotomy between the artist and the “non-artist” learner and places art as an object over which the learner has control and can use to facilitate learning. These may be helpful ways to approach and enhance management and leadership training, but how artists learn and teach would be more difficult to ascertain.

Adler (2006) asserts “that the very essence of 21st-century leadership increasingly demands the passionate creativity of artists” (p. 493). The author goes on to say that “art, and artistic processes, have the power not only to offer us hope but to guide us in rediscovering and creating beauty in our fractured world” (2015, p. 481). To illustrate the relevance of the arts in 21st-century leadership development practices, Adler (2011) discusses the power of artistic processes in addressing 21st-century challenges and identifies three distinctive perspectives that highly effective artists and highly effective leaders have in common: (1) “the courage to see reality as it is”; (2) “the courage to envision possibility, including the possibility of creating beauty”; and (3) “the courage to inspire people to move from current reality back to possibility” (p. 210). Schein (2013) also reflects on the role of art and the artist and their relevance to management in business and government. His reflections draw from his experiences “both as a lifetime sketcher and as a clinician interested in seeing how artistic activity has affected [his] life and the lives of others with whom [he has] worked” (2013, p. 1). From this base, Schein

(2013) discusses several “functions of art and artists” that interact and overlap with management. These functions include greater sensitivity and awareness that influences perception, the broadening of capacities to perceive and feel reality, the expansion of skills, behavioral repertoire, and flexibility of response, the stimulation and validation of our sense of beauty, the generation of insights on the transferability of artistic skills in leadership and management, and the awakening of the artistic within ourselves. Both

Adler (2006, 2011) and Schein (2013) here discuss the relevance of the arts in leadership from a leadership-centered perspective that emphasizes courage, vision, creativity,

49 inspiration and the development of adaptive capacities that include reality awareness, empathy, flexibility, and expansion of skills and behavioral repertoire.

In addition to new or enhanced skills and growth in certain capacities that artistic processes and encounters could foster or facilitate for effectiveness in leadership, it is important to consider the role of the artist and how artists can foster transformation in our systems and even within ourselves. Adler (2015), for example, states that “inherent in the artist’s craft are distinctive approaches for transforming seeming disasters back into beauty” (p. 481). The transformative impact of the arts includes the adoption of a perspective that allows for both systemic awareness and systemic change, which involve pattern recognition and pattern change. From the perspective of aesthetics and beauty,

Adler (2015) asserts: “Whereas artistic perspective invites us to see patterns more accurately, including ugly and threatening patterns, its bigger invitation asks us to transform patterns-of-ugliness, once seen, by finding and creating patterns-of-beauty” (p.

488). Schein (2013) also mentions how artists develop in systemic awareness and in turn can help us expand our perspectives: “As part of their training, artists expand their perceptual and expressive range. One of their key roles, then, is to help the rest of us see more, to broaden our perspectives, and to get in touch with both internal and external forces that we might otherwise not notice” (p. 1). Moreover, “by emphasizing creativity as an intrinsic aspect of all reality, the artist invites us to look at reality in a different way” (Schein, 2013, p. 3).

The Artist-Educator

According to Schein (2001), “The artistic is with us all the time, but if we do not pay more attention to the role of art and the artist in our society, we run the risk of not

50 noticing how much more effective and happy we might be if we allowed the artist within ourselves to emerge more explicitly and consciously” (pp. 81-83). Schein (2001) assumes that all people are artists, and that it is a matter of conscious choice or explicit emergence for the artist to be known. He also assumes that people would be more effective and happier if they integrated their artist identity in a process of individuation.

Bowman (2011), on the other hand, explores people who are explicitly and consciously artists in profession and training as well as in teaching art in the university. In this respect, the author explores the dual roles of artists who also serve as art professors in academic settings. The author also examines how the participants in her study consider the relationship between their roles as artists and as teachers as well as the varying degrees to which they viewed these roles as completely separate, completely integrated, balanced with fragility, or balanced with complete commitment and sacrifice (2011).

Bowman (2011) also inquires how they conceive their practice of teaching, how their artistry may inform their teaching, and how they approach their dual roles as artist- professors. Her subjects were artists and art professors. As such, their identities as artists may have been less affected by their dual roles. The study nevertheless yields important implications for people navigating dual roles as artist-educator in other subjects, including leadership.

Conceptual Framework

Through my review of research and theoretical literature around my topic and relevant adult learning theories, a number of themes have emerged around leadership

51 development, experiential learning, transformative learning, and artists and art in leadership development. These themes are organized visually in Figure 2.1 below:

Leadership Development

Self-transforming Capacities The Artist as Teacher

Personal learning, Prior training Approaches and methods in and experiences growth and teaching transformation

Implications for artists teaching leadership

Figure 2.1 Conceptual Map of Artists Teaching Leadership

As the diagram illustrates, leadership development involves developing capacities for self-transformation, which has been identified as a core capacity and one that some artists may possess. The journey of artists as teachers encompass prior training and experiences, personal experiences of growth and learning with art, that could include transformation, and their approaches and methods of teaching. These elements may inform their approach to teaching and how they navigate their dual roles and identities as artist-educators. Their journeys and experience may yield important implications for artists teaching leadership.

Vasudevan (2011) invites educators to shift out of knowing as “experts” in the classroom to a stance of “unknowing” in their approach to teaching, research, and scholarship in the face of human diversity in its abundance and accessibility and the openness it may require from educators to recognize, honor, and benefit from its value.

This level of openness is what we see in some artists. And these artists can help us enter into a space of “unknowing.” This is how we may in turn be self-transforming, a journey of unlearning what is learned, and unknowing what is known, to engage with increasing complexity in the world around us and also contribute to its transformation. This is what seems to be an act of leadership in the complex ever-changing times of history, present, and future.

In the chapters that follow, I attempt to concretize and personalize findings from the literature review by introducing a research method that was generated by artists and used in this study to portray findings and unveil how artists in this study teach leadership as an artistic endeavor.

Chapter III

METHODOLOGY

The purpose of this study is to expand our current knowledge of arts-integrated practices in leadership development beyond the technical aspects of arts-based methods in teaching in order to understand the persons—the artists—who may have inspired, originated, and used such methods. As such, I sought to understand to what extent and how specific self-defined artists teaching leadership in academic and professional development settings integrate their artist selves into teaching leadership. I also hoped to understand to what extent how their personal learning journeys have influenced their teaching. With these intents, my study attempted to address the following research questions:

1. To what extent and how do self-defined artists who teach leadership courses in

academic institutions and adult professional development programs integrate their

artist selves in teaching leadership?

a. To what extent do these individuals view their roles and identities as

artists and educators as integrated?

b. To what extent and how do these individuals intentionally integrate their

artistic skills and way of engagement with the arts with their teaching?

c. In what ways do their experiences and backgrounds as artists influence

what they teach, how they describe and design their courses, how they

interact with students, and what learning they are trying to facilitate

among their students?

2. To what extent and how have these individuals’ personal learning journeys with

art, including ones which they perceive as transformative, influenced their

teaching and ways of being as educators?

a. What personal learning experiences with art have influenced their

teaching?

b. To what extent and how have their personal learning journeys with art

influenced their approach to teaching and ways of being as educators?

This chapter describes and explains the research design used for the study, the research sample and participant selection process, methods of data collection, data analysis procedures, issues of reliability and validity, and limitations.

Study Design

This study employed the method of portraiture (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis,

1997) embedded in the design of an exploratory interview study with narrative inquiry.

With the approach, I explored the experiences and perspectives of eight individuals who identified themselves as both artists and adult educators teaching leadership in academic institutions and adult professional development programs. The rational for the chosen research design and methodology are further discussed below.

Qualitative Research

The design of qualitative studies are not fixed to a linear sequence with predetermined steps, but rather flexible enough to evolve with new developments and changes to components of the design that are interconnected and interact with one another (Maxwell, 2013). According to Creswell (2014), qualitative research “honors an

55 inductive style” with “emerging questions and procedures” (p. 4). The flexible, inductive and emerging nature of my inquiry fit well with the qualitative approach. Furthermore, given the nature and substance of my study’s research questions around the personal learning journeys of participants, including experiences that were transformative, the qualitative approach seemed more appropriate than a quantitative or mixed methods approach. This aligns with what Merriam and Kim (2012) observed as the prevalence of qualitative studies in transformative learning and how “something as personal as transformative learning and subsequent perspective transformation lends itself to qualitative or constructivist research” (p. 61).

Narrative Inquiry

According to Riessman (2008), “many investigators are now turning to narrative because the stories reveal truths about human experience” (p. 10). Narrative research, as a method, “begins with the experiences as expressed in lived and told stories of individuals” (Creswell & Poth, 2018, p. 67). It collects stories from research participants; stories that are “co-constructed between the researcher and the participant” (Creswell &

Poth, 2018, p. 68). From a design perspective, narrative research constitutes procedures that focus on studying a very small sample of participants—one, two, or only a few individuals—with data gathered through a collection of stories or life experiences and multiple sources of information, which requires a considerable amount of detail and time with each research participant (Creswell & Poth, 2018). Given these framings of narrative research, narrative inquiry did not drive the entire design of this study as I studied a larger sample of participants. In addition, the collection of detailed information and time that are needed to co-construct narratives for each participant and sufficiently

56 consider the personal, cultural, and historical contexts in which the participant’s stories are embedded according to the traditional design of narrative research went beyond the scope of my research purpose and questions. Nevertheless, this study did include elements of narrative inquiry in that it involved the collection, analysis, and portrayal of people’s life experiences and stories in a co-constructed process. As such, narrative inquiry was embedded in the design of an exploratory interview study. Narrative inquiry also aligned well with the method of portraiture (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997), which I employed to interpret data and present findings.

Portraiture

Portraiture is a methodology of inquiry and presentation that joins science and art by integrating empirical rigor in research with the aesthetics of inquiring, interpreting, and presenting in an artistic way (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997). According to

Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis (1997), it pertains to “a method of qualitative research that blurs the boundaries of aesthetics and empiricism in an effort to capture the complexity, dynamics, and subtlety of human experience and organizational life” (p. xv).

It is a method that also portrays “the richness, complexity and dimensionality of human experience in social and cultural context, conveying the perspectives of the people who are negotiating those experiences” (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997, p. 3).

Portraiture draws from various forms of qualitative research and uses aesthetic description to resonate with and be accessible to audiences both in and outside of the academy, thereby connecting inquiry to social transformation and public discourse

(Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997). It also resists the “tradition-laden effort to document failure” in research. As such, portraiture is guided by a search for “goodness”

57 that embraces inherent imperfections and is complex as it has multiple dimensions

(Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997, p. 9). In this respect, “goodness” is examined with

“ample evidence of vulnerability and weakness” (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997, p.

9). Along the lines of “goodness,” I also attempted to explore and portray what was

“good” about the journeys and narratives of the participant, rather than criticize what was missing or limited, while preserving their complexity and authenticity.

According to Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis (1997), data collection, interpretation, and analysis is an “iterative process” that eventually converges to interpretation and analysis becoming the “central activity of synthesizing, sorting, and organizing data” when data collection is completed (p. 214). In this stage, “the portraitist works to develop a process and a structure for categorizing the data, for tracing the patterns, for capturing and constructing the themes—all the while trying to preserve the nuance and complexity of real lived experience, and always remaining attentive to the

‘deviant voice’” (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997, p. 214). With the complexity of each narrative, the identification and use of emergent themes serve to both preserve the narrative’s complexity while making them “more comprehensible” (Lawrence-Lightfoot

& Davis, 1997, p. 215). Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis (1997) further explain emergent themes below:

Emergent themes occur within and across the stories, language, and rituals of subjects and sites. Naming convergence, emergent themes clarify the ways in which parts of the whole fit together and make tangible the intangibles through which insiders experience their realities. The portraitist’s job of identifying the emergent themes that structure interpretation is akin to the artist’s efforts at grasping the essential traits that define forms and thereby make objects visible. (1997, p. 232)

In this respect, emergent themes allow findings to be comparable in the sense that they “provide opportunities for readers to discuss the stories of vast and complex individuals or sites in terms of other individuals and sites” (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis,

1997, p. 230). Moreover, they allow findings to also be generalizable. Lawrence-

Lightfoot and Davis (1997) describe this work as “naming convergence” and how in

“daring” to do so, portraitists “provide essential clarity and elevate their portrayals from the sphere of individual scenario to the realm of more universal human experience” (p.

238). Along these lines, I uncovered four emergent themes from an initial review of transcripts and a coding process (Miles, Huberman, & Saldana, 2014; Saldana, 2013).

These themes became structural headings to scaffold, organize, and co-construct the narratives of each participant as portraits where the complexity of their lived experience were preserved and illuminated.

Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis (1997) also describe the entire process of portraiture and how the aesthetic whole comes together in relation to the entire process. In their words:

Finally, the aesthetic whole emerges through the development of coherence— when there is an orderly, logical, and aesthetically consistent relation of parts, when all the pieces fall into place and we can see the pattern clearly. To achieve this unity, the portraitist must have identified the overarching vision for the piece (conception), underscored the emergent themes creating a scaffold for the narrative (structure), and given insight, aesthetic, and emotion to the structure through the texture of stories, illustrations, and examples (form). In addition to conception, structure, and form, the portraitist shapes the aesthetic whole by developing narrative coherence, which includes the framing and sequencing of events and experiences and the articulation of a clear and consistent voice and perspective. (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997, p. 256)

This describes the process I pursued. The coherence that was developed towards an aesthetic whole of how artists teach leadership in the stories told through portraits, how

59 they are analyzed together across themes and synthesized as a whole, and the way the study concludes with my reflections.

Discussion of Sample

The research sample of this study consists of eight participants who identify and define themselves as both artists (professional or amateur), from a variety of mediums including visual art, music, dance, and theater, and faculty teaching leadership in adult professional development programs or colleges or graduate degree programs in academic institutions. Ten participants were initially recruited and interviewed, and eight participants were selected for the portraits. These individuals were recruited through convenience and purposive sampling through word of the mouth, emails through select listservs, and referrals.

Areas of Information Needed

Given the stated research purpose and questions, along with the conceptual framework developed from my review of literature, I determined that I needed to know the background, experiences, and approaches of the self-defined artists in my sample who teach leadership in academic institutions and adult professional development programs, the courses they taught and the methods they used, and what learning they intended to foster among their students. I also needed to know their personal learning journeys, including those experiences which may have been transformative, to understand how their personal learning journeys with art may have influenced their decisions and approaches to teaching leadership. Areas of needed and collected information are

60 summarized in the table below, followed by a discussion of specific data collection methods.

Table 3.1 Areas of Information Collected

Areas of Information Collected: Data Source(s): Background, experiences of the • Interviews with participants self-defined artists in sample who • Syllabi of workshops / courses teach in academic institutions and • Observations of teaching adult professional development • Additional teaching artifacts programs What these artists teach and how • Interviews with participants they teach • Syllabi of workshops / courses • Observations of teaching • Additional teaching artifacts These individuals’ personal • Interviews with participants learning journeys with art and • Observations of participant’s art or artmaking how these journeys influence • Published reflections, narratives, or artifacts of their teaching participants’ experiences and journeys

Methods for Data Collection

With portraiture as the primarily driving method embedded in the design of a qualitative interview study with narrative inquiry, data collected for this study primarily involved in-depth one or two semi-structured interviews with participants, triangulated and complemented with multiple data sources, which primarily included observations of their teaching and reviews of their syllabi.

In-Depth Semi-Structured Interviews

Ten participants were interviewed for my study. One or two in-depth, semi- structured interviews with each individual participant took place between the months of

April 2019 and October 2019 in person, via the videoconferencing platform Zoom, or over the phone when the videoconferencing platform did not work or was not accessible

61 by the participant. Each interview lasted between one hour to three hours, depending on frequency of interview and participant responses as well as availability and willingness of participants to spend more time with the interviews than agreed upon or anticipated upfront. Interviews were recorded and transcribed using a transcription company with clear non-disclosure agreement. Interview transcripts were reviewed with the audio recordings and edited for accuracy and then stripped of identifying information. Based on artistic background and current roles in teaching, eight participants were selected for portraits. Their interview transcripts were then uploaded to the qualitative and mixed methods analysis software Dedoose for coding and the construction of portraits.

Multiple Data Sources and Triangulation

Depending on availability of information and consent of the participants, interview data were triangulated and complemented with live, recorded, or photos of observations of their teaching, course syllabi, written communication, and other teaching artifacts and secondary sources of information, such as articles published that are descriptive of or directly relevant to each participant’s approaches and methods of teaching. Data collected for course assignments that I completed and that involved interviews and observations with participants in previous years were also used with the consent of the participants and course instructors and the Teachers College Institutional

Review Board.

Observations

Observations of teaching took place through live in-person visits to classes taught by participants, video-recorded teachings of both online and in-person, video-recorded

62 student testimonials, live audience sessions, or photos of teaching. Participants emailed or shared hard copies of course syllabi. Live participant observations were conducted in classrooms and video-recorded observations were of participants teaching online or in a workshop setting. One video recording consisted of student testimonials at a course conclusion and graduation ceremony.

First Steps after Data Collection

To construct the portraits, each interview transcript was coded and analyzed using the qualitative and mixed methods analysis software Dedoose to first identify emergent themes, which were then used as structural headings to scaffold and construct each portrait.

Methods for Interpretation and Analysis

Coding for Emergent Themes

Miles, Huberman, and Saldana (2014) and Saldana (2013) discuss several approaches to coding data and mention that a researcher need not “stick with just one approach” for coding as some methods “can be compatibly ‘mixed and matched’ as needed” (p. 74). As mentioned earlier, along the lines of how Lawrence-Lightfoot and

Davis (1997) describe the process of collecting, interpreting, and analyzing data to identify and establish emergent themes to organize narratives, I uncovered four emergent themes from an initial review of transcripts and coding process (Miles, Huberman, &

Saldana, 2014; Saldana, 2013). This coding process was largely inductive in that codes emerged “progressively during data collection” (Miles, Huberman, & Saldana, 2014, p.

81) and generated from the content of interviews, including direct words and phrases

63 used by participants. An initial list of codes were then merged or clustered into emergent themes that became structural headings to scaffold, organize, and co-construct the narratives of each participant as portraits.

Constructing Portraits

The emergent themes generated from the coding of interview transcripts became structural headings to scaffold, organize, and co-construct the narratives of each participant as portraits. Common structural headings were used to scaffold and construct all portraits. This allowed for comparison across portraits, while preserving the unique, nuanced, complex, and rich dimensions of each participant’s journey and narrative. In a second stage of coding, created portraits were then coded and analyzed by structural heading to assess categorical themes within each structural heading.

Thematic Cross-Portrait Analysis

The findings of this study are presented as portraits. As mentioned above, common emergent themes that were generated from coding interview transcripts served as structural headings used to scaffold and construct each portrait in this study.

Constructed portraits were then coded and analyzed across each structural heading. To analyze findings embedded in portraits, I conducted a “cross-portrait analysis,” which is analogous to, and used interchangeably in this study with the procedure of “cross-case analysis.” This was informed by Keene (2014), Catone (2014), Mondo (2014), and Liu

Wong (2015) who all used portraiture as their methodology and performed a cross-case analysis to analyze their data.

Keene (2014) and Catone (2014) both had four participants in their sample. The emergent themes that they respectively found and used to construct portraits in their studies were different for each participant, and each of their portraits conveyed emerging themes that were unique to each individual in their respective samples. Their respective analyses entailed a wholistic synthesis in the concluding chapter describing how the emergent themes of each individual portrait connected and interacted with one another or what common lessons emerged along generalized themes and patterns found across their participants in the “whole” of their study.

Mondo (2014) and Liu Wong (2015), on the other hand, each studied a larger number of participants—eight for Mondo (2014) and thirteen for Liu Wong (2015)—and used a slightly different and more structured approach to construct portraits according to common emergent themes that cut across and scaffolded all their portraits. With larger samples, their respective cross-case analyses were performed according to each emergent theme, followed by a wholistic synthesis or summary at the end of their cross-theme analysis. As such, their shared approach seems to follow the “variable-oriented strategies” of cross-case analysis in Miles, Huberman, and Saldana (2014) where the researcher would “look for themes that cut across cases” (p. 103). This aligns with the long “established tradition” within qualitative inquiry, which involves “theorizing across a number of cases by identifying common thematic elements across research participants, the events they report, and the actions they take” (Riessman, 2008, p. 74). The dimensions of narrative inquiry, however, also include efforts to “keep the ‘story’ intact for interpretive purposes” and “preserve sequence and wealth of detail contained in long sequences” as it is committed to a “case-centered” approach (Riessman, 2008, p. 74). As

65 such, this study also pursued the “case-centered” approach, which was preserved and integrated with a thematic approach.

Two-Stage, Multi-Level, Process of Coding and Analysis

Similar to Mondo (2014) and Liu Wong (2015), I conducted a thematic cross-case analysis across all the portraits, which shared common emergent themes. These themes served as structural headings to scaffold and construct each portrait. As a slight variation to the approaches of Mondo (2014) and Liu Wong (2015), I took an extra step to code and analyze portraits for cross-portrait analysis of themes rather than analyze findings from the first stage of coding interviews. In this respect, I engaged in a two-stage, multi- level, process of coding and analysis of both interview transcripts and portraits.

Triangulated data were integrated into the portraits.

The procedures I employed seem to align with principles of a thematic narrative analysis (Riessman, 2018) where I looked for common and distinct themes emerging from the data as well as common and distinct themes emerging from each participant’s portrait. Results are displayed in chapter five through word clouds and charts.

Validity

Maxwell (2013) addresses validity in relation to threats, “often conceptualized as alternative explanations or interpretations” of research findings (p. 123). Creswell (2014) and Creswell and Poth (2018) discuss a number of ways to address issues of validity in qualitative research. The ways in which I attempted to strengthen validity of my study included clarifying bias, providing a “rich, think description” of findings, member checking, triangulation, and expert debriefing. These are further explained below.

Clarifying Bias

To address potential bias, I disclosed my potential biases upfront by explicitly stating and describing in the first chapter my role and perspectives as a researcher that may potentially bias my findings. This follows the guidance of Creswell and Poth (2018) who suggest that “the researcher discloses their understandings about the biases, values, and experiences that he or she brings to a qualitative research study from the outset of the study so that the reader understands the position from which researcher undertakes the inquiry” (p. 261).

“Rich, Thick Description” of Findings

Each portrait includes detailed and nuanced aspects of participants’ journeys and experiences as they attempted to preserve the complexity of their narratives. As such, each portrait, as a finding, provides “rich, thick description” (Creswell, 2014; Creswell &

Poth, 2018) of each participant’s narrative journey. This description may have strengthened validity in its potential to “transport the readers to the setting and give the discussion an element of shared experiences,” which may strengthen the findings to be more realistic and richer (Creswell, 2014).

Member Checking

In addition, I engaged in “member checking to determine the accuracy of the qualitative findings” (Creswell, 2014, p. 201) by sharing complete, draft portraits with each participant and receiving their feedback. All participants have confirmed that the findings conveyed in portraits were accurate.

Triangulation

Given multiple sources of data, triangulation was also used to strengthen validity.

According to Creswell and Poth (2018), triangulation refers to the use of multiple and varied sources of data, methods, theories, and investigators to provide supporting evidence. As mentioned earlier, my study relied on at least three different sources of data and methods (interviews, review of syllabi, and observations), which allowed for the triangulating of data and convergence from multiple sources and methods. Triangulated data were also embedded in portraits.

Expert Debriefing

Creswell (2014) encourages the use of “peer debriefing” that involves someone who “reviews and asks questions about the qualitative study so that the account will resonate with people other than the researcher,” which utilized an “interpretation beyond the researcher” and strengthened validity. Along these lines, my sponsor and second reader were expert debriefers who were able to review and provide feedback on completed drafts of findings and ask questions throughout my study as they reviewed and provided feedback on other chapters of the study.

Limitations

Though validity was strengthened in various ways, reliability was more difficult to strengthen as I was the sole coder for the study, precluding the possibility of intercoder agreement as another way to ensure reliability (Creswell & Poth, 2018). This study was also limited in its ability to generalize findings as the sample size was relatively small and not reflective of the general population along with the convenience, purposive

68 sampling strategy used. Nevertheless, Lightfoot-Lawrence and Davis (2007) provide a different perspective and reframe generalizability as they convey how portraits could be generalizable in the sense that “the portraitist seeks to document and illuminate the complexity and detail of a unique experience or place, hoping that the audience will see themselves reflected in it, trusting that the readers will feel identified” (p. 14). As such, readers may “discover resonant universal themes” embedded in each portrait.

Chapter IV

FINDINGS: PORTRAITS

This chapter reports findings of the exploratory interviews and narrative inquiry that were guided by the method of portraiture (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997).

These findings are presented in the form of individual portraits of each participant.

Portraits, according to Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis (1997), create and present “a narrative that is at once complex, provocative, and inviting, that attempts to be holistic, revealing the dynamic interaction of values, personality, structure, and history,” which

“documents human behavior and experience in context” (p. 11). In this light, the portraits in this study attempt to illuminate how artists teach leadership in the way that they view and engage their dual roles and identities as artist-educator and draw from the artistic resources within themselves to help others learn and grow in their capacities for leadership. The portraits also tell stories as they explore how artists in this study have learned and transformed with art and how such experiences have impacted their teaching of leadership and who they are as educators. Though the narratives of each participant in my study are unique, as they are deeply rich and complex, the portraits in this study seek to uncover both distinct and shared dimensions of the participants’ journeys as artist- educators from history to present, formation to transformation, family to profession, and experience to practice. The participants are introduced below, and their portraits are in the subsequent pages. In order to protect each participant’s identity and honor confidentiality, I used pseudonyms and adjusted some identifying information in accordance with the level of identifying information that the participants felt comfortable with and consented to leaving as it is currently represented in this study.

Introduction to the Artists

The eight participants in my study—Parker, Illiana, Shannon, Irini, Baila, Stefan,

Sofie, and Jamie—are self-defined artists who teach leadership in an academic institution or professional development program. As the primary inquiry, and title, of my study explores how artists teach leadership, they are introduced below as “artists” and explored in their dual roles and identities as artist-educator in the portraits that follow.

Parker

Parker is a storyteller and visual artist who creates mosaics and uses storytelling and mosaic art to help organizations and communities transform. With several years of experience as a trainer and educator in organizations and graduate degree programs, she awakened as an artist while taking drawing classes while she was working in the corporate sector and has continued with mosaic art as her primary medium of art. She is also a poet and a writer.

Illiana

Illiana is a visual artist who primarily works as a sculptor and is also a painter. As one who is bi-cultural and works at several intersections of art, theology, and education, she described her life as a continual journey of “living in tension.” As an artist, she teaches about the integration of art and theology in the art studio and in classrooms through her “pedagogy of embodiment” and “pedagogy of experience” where students learn from who she is and the experiences she creates. She also explored the art of

Theaster Gates and a theology of hospitality through her doctoral dissertation, which has significantly impacted her art and her teaching.

Shannon

Shannon is a member of a punk rock band. He plays the guitar and writes music for the band. The band was formed in the basement of his home and eventually evolved to a more public stage as they were invited to play in various locations and had their songs played on the radio. Since they first signed with a record label, they came out with six albums as well as several vinyl singles and extended play records. Shannon is the only founding and permanent member of the band who has played in the band since its inception. The band today is in the middle of recording their seventh album.

Irini

In her own words, Irini’s art is “performance.” She is a “performer” since childhood. From childhood plays with her siblings to acting on stage at the Edinburgh

Fringe Festival to performing PechaKucha at conferences and in the classroom, Irini’s performances have evolved over the years as she has evolved to embrace the artist- performer within herself and “become” her art as she continues to opens heart, including her own, to catalyze and create generative spaces for transformation.

Baila

Baila is a dancer with musical training as a young violinist who played duets and in orchestra with her sister, alongside her ballet and modern dance lessons. Especially drawn to nonverbal ways of expressing herself, she has also studied jazz and danced in shows as she transitioned with a counseling degree to explore dance and art therapy in

72 earlier parts of her career before she entered into the field of adult education and leadership, where she integrates and explores various forms of movement art and somatic learning to leadership development and therapy. She is also trained in the Japanese martial art Aikido.

Stefan

Stefan is a composer and musician as well as conductor and string bassist. He started out playing guitar in punk rock bands, marching in high school bands, and playing in orchestra before he entered into college and discovered a passion and gift for music theory and composition. He now teaches as a tenured music professor and directs the college of music at a university as he continues to compose and perform. His music has been widely performed across the United States and Europe, as he has conducted various orchestras and music ensembles and performed as a string bassist, including in principal positions, in numerous concerts and recorded productions.

Sofie

Sofie is a musician, visual artist as well as director and curator of a seminary art gallery as she is growing as a writer. She has played the violin in orchestras and music for church services and blossomed as a visual artist while learning and experimenting with art as public intervention and social practice in New York City. With a strong inclination towards and passion for community and learning in neighborhoods and cities, she has co-curated and co-facilitated numerous art exhibitions, community art installations, and community conversations at the art gallery, which often also serves as a classroom for her seminary students.

Jamie

Jamie is an actress with formal training in theater. Acting on stage since high school and formally educated and trained in dramatic arts in the United States as well as in London, she has performed in numerous shows and with several theater companies, including ones she co-founded and wrote plays for. With a strong focus on social purpose and equity, many of her shows have involved issues of women’s empowerment and LGBT rights and awareness. She has also written and directed plays for LGBT youth as she has also helped them write their own scenes and perform in them based on their stories. Including her work with youth and now mostly adults, she now considers herself primarily a leadership developer by profession as she continues to identify as an artist.

Portraiture as a Method

The method of portraiture, as mentioned throughout this study, is an artistic process (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997). It is also art as it is science as Lawrence-

Lightfoot and Davis (1997) describe the parallels between painting and the research methodology of portraiture that both share “aesthetic aspects of production” that result in

“expressive content” (p. 29). This method is also aesthetically generative as the authors further describe:

In portraiture, the researcher—the artist—interprets the subject of the portrait internally by searching for coherence in what she observes and discovers. The researcher represents that interpretation through the construction of the portrait intentionally employing aesthetic aspects in order to convey meaning. The reader—the perceiver—makes sense of the subject that is portrayed through his or her active interpretation of the portrait. This new interpretation of the subject on the part of the reader or perceiver can be thought of as a kind of reinterpretation. With each reinterpretation, it is as if the portrait is being recreated. (1997, p. 30)

To construct portraits, I followed the aesthetic aspects of production to convey nuance and essence of each participant’s journey and narrative. To gather data, I conducted one or two semi-structured in-depth interviews with each participant. The interviews were then transcribed and analyzed using both structural and inductive coding procedures with the qualitative and mixed methods analysis software Dedoose. This process yielded four emergent themes that became structural headings, which scaffolded and organized the portraits. Data from interviews were triangulated with observations of live, recorded, or photographed segments of teaching, course syllabi, and other artifacts, which were also integrated in the portraits. More detailed discussion of methods is in the previous chapter. As an additional aesthetic aspect, I was also attentive to engaging all senses of sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch in both process and production of portraits to deepen resonance. In addition, as “the artist can teach us what the elements of beauty are and legitimize the importance of beauty in all elements of our lives” (Schein, 2013, p. 2),

I also aspired to capture and reflect beauty in the experiences, lives, and work of my participants who are portrayed in the following pages. With portraiture’s “explicit recognition of the use of self as the primary research instrument” (Lawrence-Lightfoot &

Davis, 1997, p. 14), and as the portraits were co-constructed by both myself as the researcher and participants with my own lived experiences and reflections interweaving with the narratives and perspectives of participants, I have deliberately decided to write this study and all portraits in the first person.

Parker: “Fearless Explorer”

I first met Parker in the Fall of 2014 through my advisor and dissertation sponsor

Professor Victoria Marsick. At the time, I was a newly admitted doctoral student in my first semester of coursework attending the 11th International Transformative Learning

Conference (ITLC) at Teachers College, Columbia University. The conference was my first exposure to the field and community of adult learning and adult education, and as one of my classmates remarked, where “we were meeting our course syllabi in person.”

It was also an exciting opportunity to explore an integrative research question I was pursuing on arts-based approaches to conflict resolution. What had started out as a simple effort to complete a required assignment for one course evolved into a larger research endeavor that allowed me to integrate what I was learning in all of my courses that semester and focus most of my course assignments, though distinct in what I was required to produce and submit to each respective professor, around a central research theme. In this endeavor, I chose to explore aesthetic approaches to adult learning for a group project in adult and continuing education.

At the ITLC that Fall, Professor Marsick introduced me to Parker at a pre- conference event for students. After a brief conversation about my research at the time,

Parker invited me to continue communication and discussion. We crossed paths again at the Adult Learning and Leadership alumni gathering at the ITLC where I introduced

Parker to one of my teammates for the group project on aesthetic approaches to adult learning. Parker provided references to the YouTube clips that documented her work using storytelling and mosaic art to facilitate transformation in a community-based nonprofit organization and welcomed further discussion over Skype. I reached out to

Parker to schedule our group interview, and my teammates and I watched the YouTube clips referenced and generated questions for the interview, which we emailed to her in advance. Meeting Parker at the conference and learning about her work through YouTube clips, our group Skype interview, and her publications were incredibly inspiring and informative. Prior to working on the group project, I had very limited knowledge of aesthetic approaches to adult education. I did have experiences in the arts throughout my life from childhood to adulthood with extracurricular activities, hobbies, and leadership training, but was not aware that the arts or aesthetic approaches were formally used or recognized as a method of adult education until I read about affective learning and artistic ways of knowing in the readings and group project I completed for the course.

For that Skype call, Parker described her development and use of “strategic assemblage” to facilitate organizational change and development in the nonprofit organization. As part of her story, she shared about her background and journey in storytelling and mosaic art, and her work with “strategic assemblage” as a way to integrate storytelling and her mosaic artistry with her professional work and help an organization (and community) strengthen their strategic planning processes to be more accessible, tangible, and effective. Creating the mosaic seemed to have fostered creativity, collaboration, and even newfound confidence, among a diverse group of people who cared about their community, and the tangible outcome of the actual mosaic has served as both a reminder of and an inspiration for progress and social change in their community. With learning from this project, I wrote about Parker’s work in an assignment for another class on conflict resolution that same semester as I found her work to demonstrate an effective strategy for constructive conflict engagement. The

77 overarching research question that consumed me that semester and all the assignments I completed that semester eventually converged and culminated in a published article in the

Journal of Transformative Education a year later. I included Parker’s work in that article.

Along the process of finalizing the draft for publication, Parker reviewed and provided invaluable insights and feedback.

A few years have passed, and I am now pursuing a related, but new, research question for my dissertation. To recruit participants, I reached out to a few faculty mentors, including Parker, who seemed to fit the profile I was looking for or might refer me to someone else. Parker responded right away to confirm her support and availability, and in a serendipitous way, the timing of her last course and availability for the interview aligned very well with my schedule and capacity to travel to her location to connect in person and observe her teaching. She picked me up from my hotel, and we started our afternoon with a visit to her office and a cup of coffee at the café on the ground floor.

The moment I walked into her office, I was captured by the colorful artwork on her wall, a photo of her wife on her desk, and an expansive collection of Gumbi figurines on top of her cabinet. As she was on her way down the hall to share with her colleague the

Kombucha she had made at home, I inquired about the Gumbis. She mentioned how

Gumbi captured the flexible way she worked in her previous role in business and that they were gifts from colleagues. Parker was brainstorming ways to repurpose them with a former student after she retired from teaching—perhaps another sign of her flexibility.

A private conference room was assumed to have been reserved for our interview, but Parker learned that the reservation was not made. Without panic or irritation, we moved to the classroom where she would have her last theory class of the semester that

78 evening, and I would observe her teaching. The classroom was fortunately free and quiet. Here again, I could see Parker’s “Gumbi” activated with the fluidity of her actions and her reassuring communication as we were shifting plans and moving with the flow of things. For this last class of the semester, Parker mentioned that students were bringing food and beverages for a potluck dinner. On way down to the classroom to start our interview, Parker alerted me to the possibility that our interview may get interrupted with students stopping by to set up with their food a little earlier than their usual class start time. This in turn prepared me to be flexible, and I appreciated her communication to be open to the possible interruptions. The classroom was small, yet sufficient to fit a conference table with 14 chairs around it, which seemed to invite an intimate atmosphere where students and teacher would sit around the table facing each other and eating together. Our conversation opened with her earliest experiences with art as a child and flowed through the various experiences that catalyzed and shaped her artistry and teaching today.

The Artist-Educator

Parker was an artist in childhood. Her memories as an artist go back to when she was a small child. When she was in the third grade, however, she had an experience that would impact her journey as an artist into adulthood. In class that day, Parker drew a landscape with orange grass and a purple sky. The teacher who viewed her painting publicly reacted to her drawing. In front of the whole class, the teacher claimed:

“[Parker’s full name], you’ll never be an artist. Everyone knows that grass is green, and the sky is blue. Grass is never orange. The sky is never purple.” Parker lived in the countryside where her father had built a house on a sheep pasture. She had seen and

79 knew grass was orange and the sky was purple at different times of the year. She went home and told her parents about the incident that day, and she was extremely discouraged by the idea that she would “never be an artist”. She believed the words of her teacher as authority figure to be “factual” and “true” and stopped making visual art. Instead, she focused on language as her art medium and became a poet, which continued through high school where she wrote poetry and essays and eventually chose English and secondary education as a double major in college. Though she was engaged in the creative outlets of poetry and writing, she was not doing much in the area of visual arts and felt that her

“ability as a visual artist was stunted” through those years.

Parker graduated from college, and after a short period of teaching in a public school, worked for a large multinational information technology company in California.

It was at this company where Parker reemerged as a visual artist. One day at the company, Parker’s manager called Parker into her office and said they needed to

“broaden” her thinking. Slightly surprised by her manager’s feedback, Parker communicated her confidence that she was “very imaginative,” and yet her manager though affirming of her imagination said there was still something missing in Parker’s cognition. Parker did not understand what her manager meant until her manager asked what she saw in her mind when she said the word “tree”. Parker communicated that she saw the letters T-R-E-E, and her manager pointed out the limitation in what Parker’s was seeing. Parker’s manager explained that visual imagination was important in business and gave her a catalog to a nearby community college, suggesting that she take two art courses. Parker ended up taking two drawing classes, and it was in this class that she felt her reemergence as an artist. She then incorporated more arts-based methods in her work

80 as an organizational development specialist, starting as an individual contributor with arts-based work and then integrating arts-based learning and reflection opportunities with art in management and leadership classes at the company when she assumed more formal authority as a director and vice president. Parker eventually worked at a Fortune 500 manufacturing company as the Vice President of Organizational Development where she continued to incorporate arts-based methods. In this role, she had the top 1,100 people in management across the company worldwide making collages as part of the company’s strategic planning process. Parker shared how it was a significant and deeply moving project where even “grown men wept.”

Parker is also a storyteller. Storytelling became an integral part of Parker’s work through her grandmother who was also a storyteller. Parker used to play storytelling games with her grandmother where her grandmother would start a story and Parker would contribute and tell parts of the story. These experiences helped Parker develop a proclivity to tell stories and an interest in listening to stories, which impacted her professional work thereafter. Parker recalled a job interview where she was asked to give an operational definition of how she worked and discovered in that moment that it was stories. She felt she had a “nascent understanding that stories are what makes organizations that they are” and incorporated storytelling in her professional work. She viewed storytelling as her main work on the job and the question asked during her job interview helped bring that clarity: “I realized in that moment in answering that question that what I really did was tell stories, listen to stories, and connect people’s stories, people with the stories.” For example, Parker institutionalized a program at her company called “Third Thursday Theater” where people would tell stories of innovations and

81 inventions, how they collaborated and what mistakes they made that they could then discuss in groups and apply lessons into their work.

Throughout her professional career in organizational development, Parker incorporated both storytelling and other arts-based methods in her organizational development practices in business. Though she found her projects to be successful in the results achieved and feedback received, she felt limited in her ability to understand how and why the projects worked, which then led her to move to the Northeastern region of the United States to pursue graduate studies: “I would lie awake and think, ‘You don’t have a clue. You don’t know why this is working. And that means if it breaks, you don’t know how to fix it. You know, you don’t know the component parts.’ And that’s when I decided that I really felt that it was time to go back to school and that’s how I ended up at

[my doctoral program].” For her doctoral studies, Parker focused on storytelling and wrote her dissertation that examined storytelling as a concept and practice, as well as an art. After she finished her degree she moved to a different city in the Mid-Atlantic region of the United States where she then became acquainted with mosaic art.

When Parker first moved into her new neighborhood, her wife took her to an arts museum that exhibited only works of art from people who were never professionally trained in the arts, including art created by prison inmates and art created by people who had different mental abilities. The museum captured Parker’s heart, and she and her wife decided to become members. One day they received a museum newsletter announcing a one-day “mosaic marathon” workshop with the artist Rick Shelley. Around this same time, Parker had been talking to her next-door neighbor who was a graphic artist from

Jordan. The front walk of his house was damaged, and in their exploration of how to fix

82 it, Parker suggested that he do a mosaic, which led to a discussion about mosaics in

Jordan and fantasizing about doing a mosaic. Parker wanted to learn how to do a mosaic and said she would pursue it with her neighbor. The timing of the workshop coincided with this exploration and though her neighbor could not make it, Parker and her wife did enroll in the workshop, which turned out to be formative for both of them. This then led them on a trip to Philadelphia to work and learn with the artist Isaiah Zagar, whom they

“loved” and were deeply inspired by. When Parker and her wife returned from their trip, they mosaicked the foundation of their house and “got a little crazy” as Parker mosaicked their mailbox and lamppost in front of the house. They eventually converted their basement, which they initially used as an apartment sublet, into an art studio where

Parker continues mosaics, her most recent project involving mosaicking mannequins that are envisioned to go in their yard.

Parker currently identifies as an artist, which she believes was reawakened through her community college art class over 30 years ago and reinforced through her workshop on mosaics with Rick Shelley several years later. Today, she views her roles as both artist and educator integrated, but it has not always been so. From a historical perspective, she initially viewed them as separate and compartmentalized these roles.

She has viewed herself as an educator since college. With both a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and a Bachelor of Science degree in secondary education, Parker briefly taught in a public school and “went into business with the identity of an educator” and given roles in business as a trainer with “a lot of freedom to train lots of people on lots of different things”. As such, her view of herself as an educator was consistently reinforced:

“I’ve always interpreted my role in organizations as an educator…. even when I didn’t

83 have leadership positions, I was responsible for some kind of training.” In addition to educator, Parker eventually also identified as a storyteller in organizations. She believed her identification as a storyteller was “the beginning of integrating art” assuming

“linguistic forms as artistic forms” were included in our definition of art. In business,

Parker felt she operated as an educator and a change catalyst integrating arts to foster innovation and emotional openness: “I was integrating art because the old ways weren’t working. The conventional ways weren’t producing conventional results, and I wanted to crack something open in the organization and crack open the hearts of the people. I didn’t need to crack open their minds. Their minds were fine. But their hearts, no one was dealing with their hearts and I thought art would do that.” Despite her belief in the power of the arts to engage minds and hearts, she still compartmentalized her identities as artist and educator: “I didn’t identify as an artist then. I really identified as a business person who was an educator who was applying arts to get somewhere, and I wasn’t creating.”

Parker currently views herself as both artist and educator in a more integrated way. Using a metaphor, she sees them “now more as a double helix than two strands running in parallel” and integral to each other. And it was when she finally “accepted” and “welcomed” her identity as an artist, she felt the two strands coming together more naturally:

And it was only after I sort of accepted my identity- welcomed my identity as an artist, that I really figured out how to integrate it more powerfully and seamlessly than I had before. Not as something extra to try, but as a main thread. As a pivotal piece of what I was doing. (Parker)

Along these lines, Parker finds joy in the integration of her identities and views art as essential to her teaching. Though she wouldn’t mind making art without necessarily teaching, she did say that she “wouldn’t want to teach without art.”

Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

Over the years, art has become an integral part of Parker’s life as she has come to identify as an artist. Along her journey, Parker identifies three significant experiences that she considers transformative as they relate to her teaching “in the way Mezirow talked about transformation” with shifts in perspective, changes in her meaning perspectives and schema, and shifts in identity. These experiences include taking drawing classes at the community college over 30 years ago, taking Rick Shelley’s mosaic workshop at the arts museum in her neighborhood several years later, and integrating arts-based learning in a strategic planning process with a community-based nonprofit organization during her sabbatical.

Parker views the drawing classes she took at the community college in her early twenties as significant to her personal growth and an experience that reawakened her identity as an artist. She recalled a memory of her instructor who had the students do an appreciation walk at different points of their work—specifically when they “would reach a sort of plateau”—where they would view each other’s most recent drawings and write down specific positive feedback next to the drawings they observed. By the time the students got back to their station, they had several pieces of positive feedback to work with, and this had significant impact:

And so when you came back to your place, you had a dozen pieces of very specific “This was good” … [The instructor] didn’t say anything about it, he just said: “Read through those and start again.” But the effect of that was that you

internalized these elements in your drawing as something worth repeating. And so you would. This was instinctive, I think. I mean later I reflected on this when I was learning theory, and I was like, “That guy was a genius.” Why was that guy at a community college? Why wasn’t he out doing research and telling the world what he was doing. He had to wait for Cooperrider to do it for him. So, I suspect he preferred to teach art. (Parker)

As Parker continued to draw, she found her experiences in the drawing classes to be transformative, and these experiences shaped how she worked in business thereafter:

But this was very, very developmental for me. It was really quite formative, I was in my early twenties, and suddenly I thought Ms. [M], my third-grade teacher, was wrong about me. I will never be an amazing artist. But everyone’s an artist. I was looking around at these other drawings and I thought, these people all came in here thinking “I can’t really draw.” And here we are. And by the end of the class we were doing, they brought in models, and we did nudes. And they were beautiful. So, that was an astounding experience, and I see that you know if I take a Dominici approach to my life history, I see that as a real important turning point. It affected then over the next couple of decades my work in business. (Parker)

Parker believes that her experiences in the drawing classes “helped to reawaken her inner artist” where the artist became “more fully infused in [her]body” and actualized in her sense of herself. Since then, art-based methods have become central to Parker’s work in organizational development as well as in teaching.

Parker mentions the “mosaic marathon” workshop she took with Rick Shelley next as a second transformative experience that allowed her to, for the first time, enjoy the process of art making over the result. She mentioned:

It was the first time in my life since third grade that I was engaged in an art form that didn’t cause me to be obsessed with the quality of my work. And I very rarely get into a flow state, they are only a few activities I can do that induce a flow state for me and mosaicking is one of them. And I find it really meditative and hugely calming and um and I’m more interested in the process than in the result. I tend not to step back while I’m doing it to look at how things are coming, and I’m often surprised by it. (Parker)

It was Rick Shelley’s workshop that allowed Parker to “adopt a new language around

[her] identity” as an artist. Mosaics “felt right” for her as she did not experience any anxiety in making mosaics and how they were going to turn out as well as more confident as a maker of art. This was a more gradual transformative experience for her and one she views as a “process” rather than “moment”. She also attributes the process to her first experiences in the drawing classes at the community college and believes her growth as a mosaic artist could not have happened without the early experiences 30 years ago.

The third transformative experience Parker mentioned was her work with a community-based nonprofit organization that she pursued during her sabbatical in recent years as both an experiment and a way to integrate storytelling and mosaic work with her professional academic work. During her sabbatical, Parker approached and offered herself as a volunteer consultant to the organization to pilot a method of “strategic assemblage,” which she developed with years of storytelling and experience in organizational development consulting and exploring how to integrate storytelling and the development of mosaics into a strategic process. Designing “strategic assemblage” as a process of integrating storytelling and art into strategic planning and other business processes was for Parker a way to pursue more art in her context as an educator and more fully integrate her dual identities and roles as artist and as educator. She mentioned:

I decided to design a process of integrating art into strategic planning and other business processes so that I would be able to do more art. I was too much of an educator when I was here and too much of an artist when I went home ... I saw myself not doing enough art as an educator. I wanted more of that, I was greedy for it and so, the truth of the sabbatical is that I designed it so that I would have a way of doing art more in the context of my work as an educator, and the subtext of my sabbatical is that year allowed me to figure out how to do that. And convinced me that not only would it work but that it would work better. (Parker)

This sabbatical proved to be a “powerful” experience for Parker, and since then she feels that she can “take more chances” and “have more fun” in her teaching. She also views herself as being more patient with her students and centered on whatever they were learning with “play” and “having fun” in learning in contrast to when she first started teaching where over a decade ago she was more focused on having the students “get it” and “get this thing” she was teaching them.

Teaching Leadership

In the same job, Parker has felt that she was both leading and managing, but views leadership as distinct from management. In her view, management is “much more task-focused,” “more science and less art,” “procedural,” and “bureaucratic”. On the other hand, managers start exercising leadership when they start “operating from a place of abiding care, love, and imagination” where “their heart is open” and “they’re vulnerable, willing to take risks, willing to fail, and when they’re better listeners”.

According to Parker, imagination and a sense of play are also critical to leadership.

Reflecting on her career, Parker admits that she “hates” managing. To her, “it’s not managers who develop employees, for example. It’s managers who understand how the performance management works, but it’s leaders who are connecting with people at a kind of heart level. And loving them even when they don’t like them.” Reflecting on her own experience of developing employees in business from a leadership perspective, she emphasizes her need to love the employees she was helping to develop even if she did not choose to or particularly enjoy working with them. In turn, she mentions that she tells her students to “love their potential to be more than what they are in that moment” for both themselves and the people they are working with.

As an educator, Parker has been primarily influenced by the work of John Heron and his conceptual work around extended epistemology and Maurice Merleau-Ponty’s perspectives around embodiment, embodied knowledge, and embodied learning. In this respect, Parker seems to emphasize learning from experience in the classroom and particularly through arts-based and other creative methods. Abstract theories and concepts come to life in the classroom. When students walk into her adult learning theory class, for example, they are asked to play Jenga with each other. Parker then explains how playing Jenga relates to their learning of theories:

I say, you know, theories are ideas, sets of ideas that cohere. That have been put together by people who are smart, and they’ve examined something very closely for a long time, and they’ve collaborated with other people on it. And so there’s multiple inputs and they’ve done all that so you don’t have to. And now we can just look at what they did. And we can be so smart instantly. Right? We don’t have to go through that whole process. It’s a gift, right? But that each theory has particular constructs that are like a fingerprint or a retinal image that make that theory what it is. And, and those are, I call them essential Jenga sticks. (Parker)

Practical application is constantly emphasized in all of Parker’s courses, and even for theory, students “learn it in a way that they’re constantly thinking about how they want to integrate these theories into their practice.”

With respect to how Parker defined leadership and how she teaches from that understanding of leadership that involves abiding care, love, imagination, open hearts, vulnerability, risk taking, failure, and listening, Parker tries to model this in the way she teaches and interacts with her students as well as teach in a way that the students would be able to grow in such capacities. For listening, Parker mentioned that she was significantly influenced by Carl Rogers, not so much from a psychological perspective, but rather a therapeutic perspective that emphasizes listening. For about a decade, she

89 has been “consciously working on being a listener”, referring to listening as a “leadership capacity” and trying to model it as an educator. In addition, she teaches listening workshops and embeds the practice of listening into most of her courses. Valuing the practice of both listening and being listened to as a way to develop this leadership capacity, she explained:

One of the ways that you become a good listener is to find a good listener to listen to you. Because when you have that experience of being ... Like we’ve all had it, we all know somebody who when you’re talking to them, you feel like you’re the most important thing in the world. And we say that about people, like I get his full and undivided attention. I feel like there’s nothing else happening except this conversation. That’s about slowing things down, and that’s powerful. And once you’ve had that feeling, then you have a way of understanding what it is that you’re trying to develop for somebody else. What you’re trying to offer them as a gift. (Parker)

As an educator, Parker is not afraid to be open and vulnerable among her students: “I remain vulnerable, self-deprecating in some ways. Uh, my students know my weaknesses. I’m very honest about them. Uh, I have many (laughs) so they know about them.” In her teaching, she does not teach openness and vulnerability as intellectual concepts of leadership to be lectured on and analyzed in discussion. Rather she centers on what the students already bring and what they would experience in her classroom:

This idea of vulnerability, coming with an open heart, valuing them in a kind of master class way that they, that they all, that they already bring, sort of androgogically I suppose, they already bring this deep reservoir of experience that we can play with here. So that it makes it easier for them to integrate it into their practice. So modeling, endeavoring, I’m not perfect at it, but endeavoring to model those kinds of attributes does something psycho-socially to the space that allows them, I think, to dig into those, either search for or deepen their understanding of those attributes in themselves. (Parker)

In this space, students come in with different levels of comfort with openness. Some are very comfortable and very transparent from the start, while others are more cautious and reserved, taking smaller steps to open up. Recognizing these differences, and in an effort

90 to “meet students where they are,” Parker tries to foster an environment in which her students would “build their own capacity” to grow on their own and “help each other.”

And in this space, Parker found that “they do” and “become friends” and “collaborate”.

As additional overarching goals, Parker wants students to “be able to think more critically, more skeptically about things” and “be better communicators”. With respect to taking risks, she is comfortable with experimentation and trying new and different things in the classroom and asking her students to do the same. Parker would like students to leave her classes “having had new experiences that caused them to think and feel and live in a more open way.” As a matter of principle, however, she will not ask students to do what she herself has not done or will not do. In the course of her teaching, Parker will witness students experiencing breakthrough—some by the end of her course and others even ten years later. Parker has taught for 14 years, and she gets letters from students who may have initially resisted their learning and see fruit later on in life. As an example, she mentioned one student who expressed:

[Parker], this thing happened to me, and now I understand what you were trying to do in Capstone. I was mad at you, you know? I was mad at you. You made me draw pictures. I didn’t want to draw pictures and now I get it. I was mad at you. You made me keep a weekly learning journal, and now I’ve just finished hiking the Appalachian Trail, and if I hadn’t journaled, I wouldn’t know as much about that experience as I do. You did that for me, you know. (Parker)

The arts-based learning and journaling helped the student reflect, and reflection is also emphasized in Parker’s teaching. Along these lines, Parker mentioned how she wants students to “be more reflective and then be able to communicate what that reflection has taught them” not so much in what reflection meant and how it works, but rather “how they’re different now on the basis of the reflection.”

Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

For the artists teaching their first leadership course, Parker encourages them to be fearless with art as a supportive resource and love as a foundation:

Be fearless. Just be fearless and trust the art to be your ally. The art’s your friend, it’s gonna make things possible. If you can love your art, and you can love your students, and you can combine those two things, you make I think a really potent stew, you know. Tasty and beneficial, healthy nutrients that are gonna help people grow and deepen. I think deepening is a big thing. I just think you have to work from the basis of love and trust, yeah be fearless. (Parker)

Almost five years ago, my project group asked Parker almost the same question at the end of our group Skype call. We asked Parker about implications for adult educators who desired to use the arts in their work. Parker’s response today is consistent with her views five years ago. On that call, Parker also suggested fearlessness and love. To use arts in their work, she suggested adult educators would have to be brave or fearless— brave, in the presence of fear, as distinct from fearless, without fear. In this respect, she considered herself fearless as she was not afraid to try things as a facilitator and experiment without fear. If something did not work, she was confident to collaboratively figure out how it would work. Parker also emphasized how success depended on working from a place of love and abiding care as essential to and underpinning the work.

She stated how she fell in love with the community-based nonprofit she was working with during her sabbatical and the work they were doing for and with people along with the care they had for their neighborhood. She also pointed to the significance of “loving your organization into life” and referenced an article by David Sims who uses the story of the velveteen rabbit to emphasize love in organizations.

Back into the classroom I am currently observing for my dissertation, Parker gets ready to play the ukulele and sing to her students. She confesses that it is her first time

92 singing and playing the ukulele for students in a class. She also shares her process of initially wanting to write her students a ballad, but not getting very far and being able to finish. She then shares how she consulted her wife about what song would have meaning for her students and reflected on Ganesha’s wisdom on humility. There are no barriers to learning and no barriers we are to impose on ourselves or each other. With this insight,

Parker is about to start her song, reminding us to stay humble as learners where “as soon as we think we get it, we’re done, and we stop learning.” She explains her decision to play the Monty Python Galaxy Song and expresses how fascinating it was that it synchronously aligned with the student presentations earlier in class that also used metaphors of the galaxy. Parker sings the song with the ukulele as students and I listen.

Singing to her students with a ukulele for the first time, along with her openness to be vulnerable in sharing her initial struggle in front of her students, conveys her fearlessness in teaching. At the end of the song, Parker mentions how “delightful” this class has been to her and that she appreciated how students engaged with her and the theories in the course. Encouraging the students to take more food as they leave, she states love in closing: “I deeply appreciate all of you. I love you very much. Hope our paths cross after Friday. You’re all fabulous and great work. Thanks a lot.”

Illiana: “Builder of Porous Walls”

I met Illiana this Spring through an email connection of artist Mako Fujimura whom I first met at a “Soulful Artistry” lunch event in New York City last year where

Fujimura shared his perspectives on the inherent goodness of art as well as the challenges the arts face in our current culture. A few weeks later into the summer, I met Fujimura

93 again in Vancouver, British Columbia when he was co-facilitating a symposium that explored issues of faith, suffering, silence, and beauty through the work of Japanese writer Endo Shusaku in his book Silence, which was also created into a film directed by

Martin Scorsese. As a participant in the symposium, I reviewed both book and film, and it was at this symposium where I started to discover a new perspective on leadership (and leadership development) that would emphasize humility and beauty in brokenness. In a world where leadership may be understood as a special privilege that emphasizes power and perfection of the one exercising and voicing such power, I was drawn to explore a different perspective of leadership that embraced brokenness, silence, and humility. In this exploration, I reached out to Fujimura to request support for my dissertation research, and he immediately referred me to Illiana, his close colleague who was both practicing art and teaching at the seminary he was affiliated with in the pacific region of the United

States. He felt Illiana fit the profile of my study very well and copied her on his response to my email, referring to Illiana both “as a fine artist and an exceptional teacher.” As an artist, Illiana currently works alongside and shares an art studio on the West Coast with

Fujimura.

I responded to Fujimura’s email introduction and communicated my greetings to

Illiana, and she responded expressing that she would be “happy to help” with my study.

She clarified her role then as a PhD student of Theology and Culture at her institution and provided a brief description of her teaching as an adjunct professor of theology and art.

Given our respective locations on the West and East coasts of the United States, Illiana and I decided to pursue our first conversation face-to-face via a Zoom call. Before our call, she sent me her course syllabi, a video recording of one of her lectures for an online

94 course, a photo of one of her dinners with students, and a video recording of a ceremony where graduating students honored Illiana as their course instructor and mentor for their thesis projects. I was moved by what Illiana shared in the teaching artifacts, photo, and student testimonies and felt that she would have invaluable insights and perspectives to learn from.

Our first Zoom call took place in the late Spring. As soon as Illiana’s face appeared on my laptop screen on our Zoom call, I saw an elaborate, intricate work of art in the background made with white paper cut out as sort of a web. At the onset of our conversation, Illiana mentioned with light-hearted laughter that she just finished her dissertation and how along the way of that journey had been making art. With lighthearted laughter, she explained what was behind her: “I just finished my dissertation in theology and culture. So along the way of writing that dissertation, I’ve been making art, which I lovingly call my dissertation procrastination artwork. Here’s some evidence of it.” I expressed my admiration for the work I saw, and she explained how it was made with a variety of small collage paper. Several weeks later into the late summer, a few months after Illiana graduated with her doctorate degree, I got to visit the studio she shared with Fujimura and see this work in person.

It was a quiet Labor Day morning. I stopped by Illiana’s studio with croissants from a bakery I discovered for breakfast less than a mile away. Perhaps because it was a holiday, the neighborhood seemed quiet and calm. A few cars were in the parking lot in front of a rectangular shaped white building. As I tried to ring the bell by the front gate that would provide entry to the studio, I heard someone from the doorway of the studio saying the gate was unlocked. I looked up and saw one of the artists at the studio

95 entrance a few steps from the gate and heard her telling me to walk in. The artist was also a student pursuing a Master of Divinity degree at the seminary and housed at the studio as a “Fujimura fellow”. Illiana was standing right next to her, and the two of them greeted me in front of Fujimura’s office, which was right at the entrance. It was a warm, sunny day, and Illiana was wearing a bright orange T-shirt with shorts and sandals with her hair down. After brief introductions, I was directed to put my things down in Illiana’s office, which was the door next to Fujimura’s office. Her office was the first door along a corridor with paintings on the wall and a cabinet with tea. Looking relaxed, Illiana showed me her office, gave me a tour of the studio, and offered me tea from a Japanese teapot, white with golden flowers around it, and a matching cup.

Tea seemed to be a central theme at the studio as they had a separate room to hold

Japanese tea ceremonies of up to six people at a time, hosted by one of Fujimura’s apprentices. The corridor led into an open workspace with a small kitchen sink by the window with different size brushes hanging on the wall just by the sink. Through the window by the sink, there was a small garden—called “Mercy’s Garden”—that one of the seminary students was cultivating for her thesis project. I had heard about this garden project in a talk Fujimura gave at an exhibition that I attended in New York City earlier in the month. I appreciated seeing Mercy’s Garden in person and hearing how the student cultivated and used the garden to foster community and conversations around faith. With view of this garden, I saw the artist who greeted me at the door hard at work moving around her beautiful paintings of what seemed to project various depths of black ink on paper on the floor of the open space by the sink. Illiana mentioned that she and the other artists in the studio were preparing for an art exhibition at a university in

Southern California. The studio seemed busy as I heard things shifting around and other students visiting in the background of my conversation with Illiana. From the garden and floral teaware to the moving artwork, I felt “life” in the studio.

Illiana’s office was filled with paintings and several of her collage sculptures on the wall as well as those hanging by the windows like curtains, made of white paper or canvas, delicate and detailed like lace from afar. Several collages were cutouts of white paper or canvas, while other collages were cutouts of magazine scraps or individually painted canvas strips. Each collage sculpture was intricate and beautiful. Illiana showed me the stencils and patterns she was using for her most recent work in progress, explaining how the first version of the sculpture could look like X and Y chromosomes as her daughter, who is studying nursing, alluded to when she viewed them. In the center of her office was her desk with stacks of books on top and a white canvas collage leaning beside it. Illiana explained that this desk is where she wrote her dissertation with

Fujimura encouraging her to continue making art in the process.

With the pot and cups of tea on her desk, Illiana let me view and take photos of the works of art around her office. She also pulled up her Instagram page from her laptop to show me additional samples of her artwork and explain the themes behind them. I was especially intrigued by one of her collage sculptures that conveyed a “porous wall”. The project emerged out of her reflections and reactions as a Latina with immigrant parents to the border wall that was initiated under U.S. President Trump. In contrast to a monolithic wall that would separate and exclude, Illiana explored how to “visually represent a wall that allows for multiple, diverse influences to shape that wall,” which resulted in her creation of a “porous wall” with “different panels speaking to each other.” As she shared

97 her reflections from this project, and throughout our conversation, Illiana mentioned artist

Theaster Gates, whom she also studied for her dissertation, as a significant influencer of her current art and teaching. Gates is an African American social practice artist based in

Chicago who inspired the social dimensions of Illiana’s art and teaching. As I learned more about Illiana as artist and an educator, I began to see the “porous wall” of multiple interacting panels in her own life and work.

The Artist-Educator

Illiana was born in Brooklyn, New York to immigrant parents from Cuba. Her parents met in New York, and soon after Illiana’s birth, their family moved to Long

Island where Illiana spent her elementary years. She then moved to New York City in the 1970s and stayed in Queens. According to Illiana, it was in the height of the city’s

“worst” times with it “about to go bankrupt,” revealing a “gritty New York City that we see in movies like Taxi Driver”. In this context, Illiana’s father worked various jobs, while her mother stayed at home. They were not formally educated, and Illiana was the first in her family to go to college. Though her parents might have not fit the “official” definition of “what the western world calls an artist,” Illiana still considers her parents influence on her journey as an artist:

My parents both were interested in appropriately how to make your space look beautiful. They were interested in the aesthetic. That was always in my life. I mean, I never went to museums and stuff like that. They were not educated or sought those things out ... and I don’t know if it was the Cuban part too in that outward appearances are very important, how you appear to others and appearance. So, always had new clothes. My father always can fix things and make things and make things new. That was always there. That was always a part of my life. (Illiana)

Illiana’s father worked as a carpenter. According to Illiana, he was a “kinesthetic learner, very high visual,” and as such, “he was a maker.” Illiana’s mother came from a wealthy family in Cuba, but she did not go to college as Illiana mentioned that maternal grandfather “didn’t believe that women should be educated.” Nevertheless, she noted that despite the absence of formal education for her parents, “aesthetics was very high up” for them as they both were “makers” of the house or at work. As such, Illiana remembers her childhood as “always making things” whether she was sewing and

“making the house look nice” or playing and “making mud pies.” Her artistic propensity was further nurtured in kindergarten where Illiana recalled her teacher noting her artistic potential and giving her mother art materials for Illiana to make art at home, such as finger painting. From Illiana’s perspective, though her mother might not have seen her potentiality as an artist right then in early childhood, her kindergarten teacher recognized and “fed” her potentiality as an artist and understood how to nurture it. In addition to art in her early childhood, Illiana mentioned the influences of her father working as a carpenter on set for Women’s Day Magazine and making sets when she was young and noted how interesting it was that she ended up working as a prop stylist for magazine photo shoots years later for more than a decade.

Illiana’s husband is a painter who also became a secondary school educator teaching art and art history in high school for 20 years. Both visual artists, Illiana met her husband in a summer undergraduate program at Yale Norfolk School of Arts during her junior year of college and got married and pregnant with their first child soon after when they were very young. After his undergraduate studies, Illiana’s husband got his Master of Fine Arts (MFA) degree in New York City, and Illiana followed suit and obtained her

MFA in painting at the same institution, several months before their second child was born and after which Illiana decided to become a “housewife-mom” for a decade before she started working and making art again. Along this path, she became very interested in

Christian ministry and pursued a Master of Arts degree in Theology in the Tri-State area.

After coordinating and facilitating arts ministry programs at a large protestant church in the region, she and her husband eventually moved to the West Coast where she completed her doctoral studies in Theology and Culture and currently teaches as an adjunct professor. The two have three grown children, among which two are full-time visual artists.

As an artist today, Illiana currently works alongside and shares an art studio on the West Coast with Fujimura. The art studio is also a center for worship, theology, and the arts and is affiliated with the seminary where Illiana received her doctorate and teaches. Illiana got to know Fujimura through the International Arts Movement (IAM), and the two started working together more frequently while exploring issues of faith and work and the role of art in the church in New York City several years ago before she moved to the West Coast to pursue her doctorate studies. Subsequently along this journey, and though she was writing her dissertation, Fujimura invited Illiana to work alongside him in his studio on the West Coast and encouragingly “pushed” her towards making art at the same time, which she did as “20-minute breaks” alongside her dissertation writing. Fujimura felt that Illiana “embodied, for the [seminary] students, this idea that theology can happen through the arts,” which is what they both were advocating in the Christian church. Fujimura believed that Illiana’s presence in the studio as artist and theologian would help their seminary students envision what they

100 could do after graduation. His invitation to Illiana generated a “pedagogy of embodiment” in the studio where students would “actually see how [theology and art] integration could happen” in who Illiana is and how she works. She mentioned:

The arts are part of theological constructs, and they have implications in how we think theologically. For students to come in here into my studio or to talk to me and to see that I’m still an active artist, making things, but yet I can speak towards the theological dimension. I think that [Fujimura] saw that it provided this visual manifestation of what we’re all talking about. So, the theory becomes real. Students can say, “Oh, this is what it looks like. This is an alternative to either just being a theologian or a pastor or an artist. I can pursue both of these things, and both of these things can strengthen both of those roles.” (Illiana)

According to Illiana, “art has taught [her] the importance of embodiment.” Even as a theologian, she mentioned that she roots or connects abstract ideas from what she learned theoretically to equivalent experiences she has had in her own art making or view of others’ art. From her presence in the studio to her personal experiences of learning with art, Illiana has carried this “pedagogy of embodiment” into her classroom where Illiana helps students, many who are training to be pastors, embody the theological propositions that Christians profess. She does that through modeling and helping students model their theological beliefs in the classroom, and does that by having her students make art.

As an educator, Illiana referred to her “personal mission statement,” which guides her teaching as well as other forms of work, including coordinating programs for institutions. According to Illiana, “whatever” she does is “two-pronged.” The first prong is to help artists, whether or not they hold faith, think about their work in theological terms “with theological heft and weight” and “what their call is in light of community and social, political ramifications.” The second prong is to help the church, and in particular the Protestant church, “engage in and begin to recover its embodied way of being,” where art can be “one way of doing that.” In this respect, these two prongs are

101 her “primary modes whether education or as an artist or as a theologian or [in] writing.”

In this pursuit, she considers herself as an “art advocate” where “theology happens to be one of the avenues” she advocates for art.

In both embodying and fostering embodiment, Illiana views her roles as artist and as educator as integrated in the sense that she is always looking to foster experience in learning:

Whether I’m doing in the classroom or I’m doing something, a little workshop for a conference or even a church or a school, these little things with kids and adults, my most important goal is not to just talk at them and impart like a list, but how do I get them to experience it. How do I give them a flavor of what it is that I want them to get? And, as an artist, that’s my main objective. And that’s what art, being an artist, has taught me. (Illiana)

In this light, embodiment happens through experience, and experience facilitates learning in her classrooms. In her view, “once you experience something, then you have a foothold into the theoretical” and “once you experience that, then you can talk about something so abstract because you have the roots, you have some kind of tacit knowledge to kind of help you grasp that.”

Embodying the union of art and learning can suggest complete integration between the artist and the educator. Nevertheless, this union does not imply the absence of tension, but rather an embrace of it. Though Illiana views her roles as artist and as educator as integrated, she also described the tension she frequently feels between what may be a part of her artistic inclinations towards “control” and what she believes as essential to teaching, which involves “letting go of that control” in the space she creates for her students. She mentioned:

Part of what an artist also does is kind of take the chaos and kind of control it. When I feel out of control in this world that where everything’s shifting, all these things are shifting ... Right now, we are living in this really stressful time. So, art

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is one way that I can make something out of that chaos and, through an analogy, it can help me understand that I can actually navigate this. I could actually make something out of this. But, that said, as a professor, sometimes I have to just let go of that control and let my students figure that out on their own. (Illiana)

Within this tension, Illiana alludes to the art process as helping her to “understand the nature of having to control and not control” and subsequently “have faith” in her students when she is teaching. This is what she also reminds herself in leadership, which also relates to her teaching:

I have to constantly remember that, with people, they also have to have a breathing room. It’s hard, because sometimes you have to really control something and can say something, and sometimes you have to let it go and see where it leads. As a professor, that’s always there in the classroom and with my relationship with my students. (Illiana)

In addition to the issue of control, Illiana also mentioned the tension of “living in two worlds of making and doing and then having to teach. According to Illiana, this did not come naturally to her and required “growth” to “break down,” analyze and interpret what she intuitively does, that to her is “so automatic” without thought, and to share her process with others as she in turn helps other people both recognize and understand what drives and influences their own choices and actions. In this respect, navigating the space of making, doing, and teaching has made Illiana feel like she is “stretched thin,” and as such “tired,” but she nevertheless expressed her gratitude for the process, which she believes “humbled” her.

Tension is also present in other aspects and areas of Illiana’s life. From her bi- cultural upbringing to how she, as a Christian woman artist, navigated the art world and church and the theological academy with their respective biases, Illiana described experiences and feelings of being “alien or marginal” in these “bi-furcated” contexts where, in addition to racism and sexism, religion could “diminish what can be done in the

103 art world” or art and culture were “distractions” from growing in faith. As such, Illiana feels she must “live with all these discrepancies all the time,” yet views tension as formative for who she has become. She mentioned:

I think the sense of isolation and struggle is a big part of what forms me and kind of always feeling like you’re a little bit on the outskirts, so whether that’s being a minority in a majority culture or being an artist in a Christian culture, or just being an artist, a female in an artist culture. There’s always like something ... There’s always some kind of tension that you’re fighting against. (Illiana)

Illiana identified “struggle” and “tension” as “always there” for the artist. This has been true for Illiana in the way she teaches, exercises leadership, mentors, and navigates the intersecting space of being both a theologian and an artist, with their respective biases, even to the point where at times she feels like she is “cheating someone at some point” with feelings of not being “fully a theologian in the traditional sense” nor fully possessing “the rhetoric of the artist or the art theorist or critic.” Nevertheless, it is art that has provided a “space” for Illiana to “contemplate” and bring all that “allows

[her] to be who [she is] and help [her] deal with those discrepancies,” which are “many” and continuous. From her varied experiences, Illiana seems to have embraced and worked through multiple tensions of her “porous wall”, and art seems to have helped the

“multiple panels” of her identity and life of faith and art “speak to one another.”

In addition to her personal experiences, African-American social practice artist

Theaster Gates has also significantly influenced Illiana’s thinking and work as an artist- educator. Gates was the subject of Illiana’s dissertation where she explored his practice and works of art to construct a theology of hospitality. Along this journey, Illiana was impacted by how Gates “creates experiences” that illuminates “the power of materiality and the belief in how it can actually speak to the immaterial,” which in turn “shows how

104 spirituality and faith can shape how we live in the world and shape our art practice.” In this respect, Gates helped Illiana move “one step further” in her integrative journey and understanding of theological reflection as “not just only to form what we do as Christians in the church and how we embody life in the church, but how that has ramifications out in the world.” With influences from black liberation theology, Gates inspired Illiana to look at theology and art not just as impacting and serving the church from within, but “for the benefit of changing culture” outside. As a result, social purpose and engagement is deeply embedded in Illiana’s artistry and teaching.

Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

Illiana has had many experiences with art that she believes have “shifted and transformed” her. In her view, the experience of artmaking and viewing art is

“generative” as it “incites and engenders more art making.” This is an “important lesson” she also tries to “impart” to her students. She considers what she has learned in the studio—from her own artwork or another’s artwork—as “transformative,” which is also

“continual,” and personal connection with the artwork is essential in this process. She mentioned: “You have to have relationships with these artworks. And those relationships change you just like a human being does. They shift you, and they shift the way that you see the world.”

Despite her early childhood experiences and art classes in high school, Illiana did not consider herself an artist until she was in college. Before college, Illiana assumed that “artist was equated with being able to paint figuratively and be representational,” and thereby she was “not an artist, because [she] can’t do that well.” Then she took a

105 painting class in college where she experienced a shift and found art as her “mother tongue” and majored in art. She recalled:

So, I’m religious. There’s this passage in the New Testament where ... people hear, after Acts two, and the Holy Spirit comes and anoints the disciples, and the people hear ... They hear their own language speaking ... Being spoken ... They hear their own mother tongue …… I’m like, “That’s how it felt when I was in that painting class.” It was like I hear my mother tongue. I understand what this professor is saying, and I understand all the concepts and the terms. It all fits... To look at life through this lens fits for me. It was almost like I found my mother tongue, like I heard it. So, I became an art major. (Illiana)

Illiana mentioned that she “loved” pursuing art as a major and became one of the first students to graduate with a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) degree from her institution that was just starting its BFA program. As the first one to go to college in her family, Illiana mentioned the challenges of navigating through the college application process on her own and entering college without a clear sense of direction. In this respect, she “didn’t have a goal” other than “just to be educated,” and it was in her painting class where she experienced a shift in her self-perception as an artist and found more clarity on her path forward.

In addition to her awakening and emergence as an artist, Illiana remembers two distinct experiences that shifted her view of her faith in relation to art as well as who she is as an artist and a theologian. Though she believes her spiritual formation to have been rooted and nurtured through works of art where she “experienced the sacred through culture, through reading books…seeing shows, films,” she encountered a disconnect when she was first taught Christian disciplines that considered such activities as

“distractions”. Nevertheless, it was art—perhaps in conjunction with her bi-cultural upbringing—that helped her “see” the challenges around “bifurcated” thinking. She mentioned:

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And so, when I was taught Christian disciplines, um, which are, are things that you, you put, your practices that you put so that you could be in the pathway to meet God, none of that, none of those things were a valuable option. In fact, they were used, they were actually termed, as distractions. Art can be a distraction. Films can be a distraction. Why are you reading the book ... Why are you in the studio when you could be doing this mission … Art helped me to see that there [are] these bifurcations that we have as Christians. As protestant Christians, we live a very bifurcated life. And we also live a life that’s very bifurcated body- mind, bifurcated secular-sacred. And so, because of my art experience, I could see that. And because I’m bi-cultural, I could see all this stuff. (Illiana)

As an artist who worked in a large Protestant church, such perspectives were especially challenging for Illiana. Even in the beginning of her faith journey, Illiana mentioned the

“dual life” she was living and the increasing tension she frequently felt between “the things that [she] loved, which is culture and art and books and movies and film” and her then “Christian walk” and “Christian community,” which did not see a place or forum for the arts in faith. This started a quest for Illiana where she “started searching for more language and people and books to bring those two worlds together.” With competing commitments of raising kids and limited time, her search lasted “for a while,” and along this journey, she was offered a gift from her husband’s parents, who are in academia, to attend an art conference at a retreat center in the middle of Austria that one of their former students started. The conference engaged conversations around art and faith, and

Illiana and her husband attended the conference together. The person who taught at the conference, twenty years later, became Illiana’s dissertation advisor at the seminary where she just received her PhD in Theology and Culture. Illiana mentioned how this was “interesting” as events “came around full circle.”

Illiana’s doctoral studies helped her “pinpoint,” “understand,” and “give language” to the “problem” of the kind of binary thinking that she saw and encountered on her faith journey as an artist. Prior to her doctoral studies, however, it was Illiana’s

107 intuitive experiences with art that helped her shift out of her own bifurcated perspectives around faith and art. The two experiences with art she recalled as transformative took place at an art museum and inside a church. For the first experience, Illiana mentioned spending a Sunday at the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York City when she and her husband visited the Brice Marden Retrospective exhibition. Standing in front of

Marden’s large paintings, Illiana described how she saw and felt—how she experienced—the connections between her faith and art. She mentioned:

I just particularly remembered that one experience because it was… this room after room, and works after works, and just being drawn in and just loving the lushness and his cold mountain series. And, oh, my gosh. So it was almost like a liturgy, like here’s a slow, contemplative, and then here’s the fast, dancing ones of the cold mountains … Now that I’m looking at it retrospectively, I felt like I was doing liturgy of sorts. (Illiana)

Here, in the art museum, is where she began to experience art “like church” and not separate from her practice of faith. As the second experience, Illiana described her experience with a particular sculpture inside a church when she and her husband visited

St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church in Norton Shores, Michigan. She shared:

Upon entering into the sanctuary, there’s this bronze figure right before you enter into the sanctuary. And it’s a kind of like a very modern simple figure of Mary. And she’s holding out her hand like this, inviting you to come into the sanctuary. But where her womb would be is a hole, so that you can see through it and you see the space. And so, the theology behind that one simple piece of the small Mary figure, bronze, cast in bronze, that through her womb, we get to see the church. I still get chills just relating that one piece of artwork. It’s so simple, but yet so profound. And, and it carries so much theology. It sold me that I can be this theologian and an artist at the same time, that it is possible to unite these two things. (Illiana)

Here, with art in the church sanctuary, is where Illiana encountered a work of art that shifted her perspectives and helped her integrate her identities as artist and theologian.

Whether it be encountering church in an art museum or art in a church, the two

108 experiences Illiana shared reveals a shift in her perspectives in a more inclusive way as the “panels” of faith and art in her “porous wall” connected and interacted with one another, allowing her to encounter and embrace more “wholeness” in her understanding of herself and how she works.

In addition to her personal experiences with art, Illiana discussed her dissertation on artist Theaster Gates and his influence on furthering her integration of faith and art and expanding her view of what was possible with art in the social sphere as it intersected with faith. As a Latina woman, however, Illiana was first “hesitant” and questioned whether she had the “right” to write her dissertation on an African-American artist.

Through the struggle of considering their racial differences—around whether she would have the “right” to talk about a black artist when she herself was not black—she mentioned how it was Gates who helped reconcile her inner conflict and helped her see a different perspective, even around her self-perception as an artist and her own journey of integrating art and faith:

Yeah, I have Latina heritage, but I’m not black, and here I am talking about an African American artist. So, do I have the right to do that? I kind of struggled with that issue, but one of the things that he helped me understand is the love of the urban space and its potentiality. I grew up in the city and understanding that. Then this idea of being an artist that is not defined by the fine arts dictum of art for art’s sake. He moved beyond that and extends the conversation that we had earlier about what is an artist and what does an artist do. He kind of pushes back on that and broadens that definition. So, that was very important. Then one of the biggest things that he does for me is he brings the spiritual back into the artist’s space and into the white cube. He does that intentionally to remind us that that is a part of our human dimension. So, these are the things that I learned from him that he is upholding these notions that are kind of biases in the fine art realms. (Illiana)

For this, Illiana’s personal learning journey with art took place in her study of another artist. It was this artist who was a “panel” that spoke to her “panel” and helped her

109 discover a new perspective. The voices from a racially bifurcated “wall” that might have initially separated and excluded her from pursuing her study became “porous” as she allowed herself to learn from Gates and share about his work with others. In this respect,

Gates also deeply influenced Illiana’s teaching.

Teaching Leadership

Illiana currently serves as an adjunct professor at a seminary in the pacific region of the United States where she obtained her PhD degree in Theology and Culture. Prior to her doctoral studies, Illiana engaged in leadership development in context of faith and work integration in New York City. She considered this work “very relational” in the aspect of “creating spaces” to “get to know people and their gifts, and then engaging them and mobilizing them in those gifts” in addition to “bringing people together and connecting them so that [ministries they are serving] are not carried by one person but a group.” This entailed teaching through discussion and projects and reflection on how each person’s work was significant for faith and spiritual growth.

Today, Illiana teaches a course on “Visual Arts and the Christian” and facilitates the “Theology and the Arts Capstone Cohort” at the seminary where she obtained her

PhD. The latter capstone cohort is a concluding course where graduating students

“integrate their theological studies with an art discipline to investigate a research topic.”

The online lecture and syllabi for both courses Illiana shared with me before our first interview demonstrates arts-integrated learning in both content and design. For leadership, she considers the capstone course relevant in that it is “a platform where students launch their vocational goals by creating a product or program that would benefit their career.” In this space, Illiana would “hand them some tools, embody some

110 lessons, and mentor them through the creative-theological process.” Leadership in these respects, even for artists, involve “self-initiative” and creating things that would “be reproduced and shared with others” to help them grow and “bring something into purview that was not there before.” As such, leadership is “actually more egalitarian” for

Illiana. Her definition of leadership assumes that “each person has something to contribute so they all have to lead in that thing that they have and share and impart to others.”

Illiana mentioned artist Theaster Gates as a primary inspiration and influencer of her teaching. Having studied him for four years as she completed her dissertation, Illiana expressed how Gates provided “a lot of articulation” to her experiences as an artist, which has helped and shaped her teaching in the classroom where “making is essential epistemology.” Here, students learn with inspiration from Gates that it “doesn’t take much to engineer and fashion culture.” According to Illiana: “Gates studied as a ceramicist. And the idea of making things, especially taking something as simple as earth, and that whole idea that it takes so little to make something and that that can translate into other areas of life is pretty inspirational, and that he’s able to articulate that.” This was particularly resonant for Illiana in her teaching. In a context and system where academic education is understood to be achieved by “intellect and head knowledge” as

“the only way” of learning, where “education is basically imparting information,” Illiana pursues the “experiential” in teaching through artmaking—what she views as a “theology of making or an epistemology of making”—as essential to who she is as an educator.

This is present in all of her courses. She mentioned: “Even when I’m teaching a more functional class that’s not an art class … I still make those students make something,

111 because you really can’t, I feel like it’s really hard to critique, do analytical speculation, interpretation, and analysis of artworks, unless you yourself understand what it takes to make something.”

Embedded in the way Illiana facilitates students work on their capstone projects, she emphasizes the importance of experience in both learning and leadership: “So, that’s the number one thing, [what] their projects have to do is not just the retelling of information. It’s an actual, allowing people to enter, as I say, enter into an experience.

And so, I think any good leader and a good educator does that, has to do that.” Given the context of Christian seminary education, this especially holds true for those going into pastoral work. In Illiana’s view, much of Christianity is very abstract, and as already mentioned “bifurcated,” where a Christian’s belief and profession of belief may actually contrast with his or her actions. In this respect, and in the presence of “contextual theologies arising from the discrepancy between theory and praxis,” the artist, pastor, and theologian as a leader must understand “embodied realities” and explore how to help people “synthesize the theory with actual reality.” And for this, learning through experience is key for the artist, pastor, and theologian as is creating opportunities for others to learn from experience.

For Illiana, the studio provides powerful experiences, and this is the space she tries to recreate for her students in the classroom. In the studio, she learns through making art and encountering others’ art, which frequently have also been transformative in helping her encounter new perspectives and be “edified” as she deals with her tensions and challenges through artmaking and becomes more consciously aware of internal and external barriers and possibilities that she had not seen before. In our first conversation,

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Illiana referred to the Catholic theologian Karl Radner who referred to the art we make as

“analogous beings of ourselves” where self-possession takes place through both the creation of art as well as what is witnessed through the objects created. Here, the object becomes a witness. Reflecting on African-American articulations of resilience and resistance, Illiana reiterates the healing and transformative power of art and the powerful experiences that can happen in the studio: “So, I love, I love this self- possession, resistance, and resilience, and witness thing. Those are the things that, that’s why art heals and transforms us. You know, it’s because like a lot of stuff is happening while you’re in the studio.”

By bringing in artmaking into her teaching of theology and having students create art as they view and reflect on each other’s art in her classroom, students have a channel to also experience transformation and healing. Illiana used a biblical analogy from the

New Testament to describe her experiences in the studio as “speaking in tongues” where art becomes a spiritual, self-edifying, and transformative encounter. Here, she mentioned: “I might not totally understand what’s happening, but I feel like it’s a love language between me and God, and me and myself. And there’s something happening in here that’s changing me and shifting me, that’s moving me from one place to another.”

Moreover, this deeply personal experience in the process of making art must also eventually be articulated and interpreted, as it states in the biblical passage, to help people

“grow and be encouraged for the betterment of the community.” Even as she discovers something new while making art, she tries to reflect on and articulate the embedded influences behind what she creates so she can help others learn. This is what she has taken away from her MFA program and what she values and brings into the classroom

113 and what she tries to help her students see and understand as they create and view what each other created.

In addition to creating experiences, Illiana tries to empower her students and encourage collaboration. In this respect, rather than considering herself the “expert,” she views her role more as a “facilitator” and “moderator” where she is “learning from them what it is they’re interested in.” She mentioned that she has “learned a lot” from her students and believes her facilitative approach, whether online or in person, has empowered her students to “work harder” and demonstrate their best efforts and potential. Moreover, Illiana has also witnessed transformation among her students. She mentioned a few examples, including a student who used clay to negotiate her own pain and darkness around a chronic illness she had and another student who created an autobiographical film on how comic books helped him understand himself, the world, and God. Though the latter student was not a filmmaker when he made the film, the experience helped him “articulate and place himself as a Puerto Rican” and inspired him to apply to film schools. Such experiences involved art—making art and viewing art— shifting in the way students viewed themselves and made sense of their experiences of suffering or discovery.

With respect to collaboration, she sets up her classroom where her students would

“teach one another” and “all learn from one another,” and this principle of community learning is reflected in her syllabi and reiterated in her voice recording of an online lecture. Illiana views the studio as a place where conversations meet, and this is also how she views her classroom. In the studio, she may work alone as a painter, but she is still in conversation with what she learns from others. She mentioned:

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I mean, in a way, I’m a painter. I’m a painter, so I paint solitary in my studio, but I also recognize that conversations meet. I mean, I know when I go to somebody’s studio I learn from that, and I come back energized by that, and also now my vocabulary has ... whether the materials they are using or their ideas now have shaped me, and it might work its way into my art. Even though I work alone, I’m always in conversation with that. (Illiana)

Illiana’s intention and ability to connect conversations and learn from others seem to be the “panels” of her “porous wall” that continue to speak to each other from within and around. Her desire and efforts to facilitate this for others may be a way in which her

“porous wall” expands and joins with others.

Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

In a society that upholds certain standards for the “cookie cutter” artists or educators who possess certain credentials and skillsets, Illiana encourages the emerging artist-educator to “stick strong to what they do well” and “see what [they] bring to the table” in their “own skin” as “that’s the thing that [they] are going to lead with” and “the thing that [they] can offer.” In this respect, Illiana highlights the value of community and the feedback the community can offer. This includes feedback from students as Illiana mentioned how valuable the feedback from her students have been on how she teaches today. Similarly, this is also what artists need. Feedback from friends, colleagues, and family members can help them see what they bring to the table, and this may help the artist who is teaching their first leadership course become more aware of and perhaps more confident with what they uniquely are offering through teaching.

According to Illiana, experience is key in learning. As such, unlike conventional ways of learning that emphasize the transfer of information, artists must give students an experience, and this is what she would encourage for the emerging artist-educator. This

115 is influenced by her learning from Theaster Gates who first helped her understand and articulate teaching as “creating experiences,” and this in her teaching has helped her students understand what “experiencing an artwork” means in contrast to “understanding artwork as a form of data.” Mentioning that all of her students “know” Gates through their curriculum, Illiana shared how Gates has provided them with a “model” for how artists can be “doing theology” through their social and artistic strategies. In this respect,

Gates has opened up for her students “a whole new paradigm of what it means to do ethical work that’s beautiful,” and this in turn has provided “hope” for both her students and us all that “we can make a change.”

Illiana also discussed the on-going influences of Theaster Gates and how she hosts dinners with students at her home as inspired by the series of dinners Gates hosted in his neighborhood in the south side of Chicago. Before our first interview, Illiana shared a photo of one of her dinners with students. The photo features two large paintings on the wall and a racially diverse group of students from multiple cultural backgrounds, including one standing up with a child in his arms, around a festive table of tortilla chips, salsa, sour cream, lemons, grated cheese, casseroles, among other dishes and beverages, including a bottle of water, wine, various cans of New Belgium Fat Tire beer. Over email, Illiana explained how hosting dinner was a way she embodies aesthetic and theological concepts, and how she deliberately hosts one class in her home over a meal to discuss collaborative and socio-ethical works of art.

To further describe her dinners, Illiana described a chapter of her dissertation that referred to the dinners Theaster Gates organized and hosted. The dinners Gates hosted in

Chicago were called “Soul Food Pavilion,” which entailed “beautiful dinners” in a house

116 that Gates “refurbished” with wood “that was reclaimed” with handmade dishes he created as a potter. In this space, someone would be cooking soul food, while the Black

Monks of Mississippi would play live music, as another person would preach a sermon as neighbors and friends of all backgrounds and professions to talk about various issues, including race, money, and faith. According to Illiana, this was the “Lord’s Table pushed next to Theaster Gates’ Table.” Here, Gates was “bringing people together just for communion,” and “the way that the art and the experiences allowed for those conversations to happen more naturally and more fluidly … helped us to create these connections and relationships.” This demonstrated the power of experience for Illiana and the “theological heft” around the experience of a simple meal together. In Illiana’s view, the table Gates created “shows us the social justice impact of Jesus’ table and how material things mediate that kind of transcendence, meaning transcendence not only that we get God through the table, but we get each other.” In order for this to happen, “we have to transcend ourselves in order to be for the other at the table.”

Analogous to the space Theaster Gates created, Illiana’s students come to her home and get to be in a “beautiful environment” as they see the artwork around her home, listen to poetry, eat, discuss social practice, and make art. She starts dinner with a poem that a friend wrote about “different kinds of breads from all over the world,” which then leads into discussion of “how art that is collaborative and brings people together has ethical ramification.” Illiana referred to these evenings as part of her “pedagogy of experience,” where students “get to just enjoy one another,” as they have food, wine, and conversation. The dinners for students are a “total learning experience for them to have and inhabit,” and Illiana mentioned how her students “love it” and “always talk about that

117 night.” Through such experiences, Illiana hopes her students will know the power and weight of experience, that can be replicated, as they exercise leadership in their respective contexts.

Finally, in addition to creating experiences, Illiana reemphasizes the importance of empowering students. Even as the artist-educator knows what she brings to the table, her teaching is not about transfer, but rather about discovery for the students. In her teaching, Illiana tries to “create strategies” to impart what she learned and has to offer in a way that helps students “discover that for themselves and experience that for themselves.” As such, she creates “a lot of space” for her students to figure things out on their own. Illiana views this facilitative approach to teaching as influenced by her

“feminine” and “female-centered relational way of being in the world” that she has exhibited as a “mother” or as a “wife” or as a “friend,” and these could be the additional

“panels” of Illiana’s porous wall that interact with one another.

Illiana’s “porous wall” began with a question of what it would like to have a wall shaped by multiple and diverse influences and reflection on what she would need to do to create a wall that would allow for “access” over separation. As she shared her thoughts to “take a whole bunch of different pieces of canvas [in plans to] cut out these windows,” she mentioned how the windows represented “the ability to see through or to have conversation through—or for that world to participate with this world—through a window.” As she described her artwork, she mentioned what artists offer the world: “the cool thing artists do is give us different ways to problem solve or visually an analogy that can help us see a problem in a different light.” The video Illiana shared before our first interview featured a multicultural group of students expressing how Illiana had impacted

118 their life and helped them see possibilities within themselves and with art and theology that they had never encountered before. From this perspective, the “panels” Illiana first mentioned now seem to be “windows,” and her journey of creating this wall, along with her art object as “witness,” reflects her varied experiences as an artist and an educator and the ways in which she may help us all encounter different perspectives and discover new solutions.

Shannon: “Gatekeeper of Domains and Integrator for Social Change”

I first met Shannon as the instructor of several workshop courses I took in the first two years of my doctoral studies. Ever since I took his courses, I have been thinking a lot more deeply about race and have been reflecting on power dynamics as it relates to race.

Through his courses and assignments, I began to think more deeply about fostering

“teachable moments” amidst diversity and explored a proposal for faculty development in leadership education. In classroom discussion as well as in written reflection, I honestly shared how I felt like an imposter trying to work on issues of diversity and unsure whether I had anything valuable or legitimate to contribute to dialogues around race. In response, Shannon shared how he too has constantly felt like an imposter around discussions of race and yet how in one way he has begun to understand how “racist instincts and ideology are learned” and that he as a white man in his position of power and privilege could serve as a “case study” to critically reflect on both personally in his ongoing reflections and publicly in his efforts to mobilize change. He also mentioned how it may be important to help people “distinguish between systemically caused racism and what is more an individual choice” and “start to see racism as a system, not an

119 individual preference.” I was surprised by his honesty and openness to empathize with my fears at the time and explore his own blind spots and complicity to a broken and oppressive culture and system and how we may collectively be able to work towards change.

Around the time I met Shannon, I was also making revisions to an article that was conditionally accepted in a peer-review journal. I received a comment from one of the reviewers to “be more courageous” in naming and exploring explicit difference around race, gender, and class rather than speaking about diversity in general terms. As I pondered over this comment, reflected on my feelings of impostership, talked to faculty experts, and continued to engage with the questions raised in Shannon’s workshops and insights shared through written feedback, I finally experienced an awakening of consciousness around my racial identity and realized that my use of the more general term of diversity, along with my inability to deeply resonate and speak about race in dialogue, was a mechanism of self-protection. Racial injustice and prejudice is something my family and I too have experienced as immigrants and Asian-Americans.

Nevertheless, the constant reminders to “work really hard,” “stay focused on the task,”

“let your work speak for itself,” “suck it up,” “just ignore what people said or did to you,”

“lower yourself to be safe,” and “be humble” have somehow removed me from engaging with the issue of race from my own place of pain, while I worked hard to blend in and prove my competence. As I became more consciously aware of race from personal experience, I started to feel the pain and allowed myself to grieve. Through the conversations and assignments that I pursued in Shannon’s classes and the feedback he provided, I have come to consider pain as not something to be ignored or avoided, but

120 rather embraced. And perhaps pain is actually what is needed for authenticity—to connect and resonate more honestly and deeply with an issue that has caused pain for many of us in society. Diversity is no longer a general term, but a lived experience—a reality as well as an aspiration to accept and pursue to not only alleviate the pain of

“others,” but also of myself, my family, and all the communities that I am a part of.

A few years after I completed his workshops, I reconnected with Shannon when he asked me to speak on a panel for a course that he co-taught with a colleague. The course also addressed the issue of racism and explicitly explored how to teach about racism in contexts where people of color were absent or the minority. On the panel, I got to share my experiences and learning that Shannon has contributed to and began to see— even as I still struggled with feelings of impostership to even be a member of the panel— how my story, perspectives, and voice also mattered in discussions around race. After the panel, I included Shannon in an email I sent out to faculty mentors to request support in recruiting participants for my dissertation research. I believed he fit the profile of my study very well and hoped that he would at least refer me to colleagues who may be interested to participate in my study. He responded right away and agreed to serve as a participant. A few months later, our interview took place at the home of “Shane” his close friend and colleague with whom he has written books and co-teaches a workshop course on leadership. I took their course during my doctoral coursework and also knew

Shane.

It was a warm summer afternoon, and Shane’s apartment was well lit and beautiful with colorful artwork on the walls and a greener view of the city with surrounding trees by the apartment. Shannon offered me tea, and we started our

121 interview at Shane’s dining room table, which adjoined the kitchen. In the middle of our interview, Shane entered the kitchen and offered us celery and spicy hummus as he was making cauliflower soup for their dinner. It was a welcomed interruption, and Shannon offered to get crusty bread to accompany the soup, which Shane agreed to. From the way they consulted each other and decided how they would each contribute to their meal together, as brief conversational interludes during my dissertation research interview, to which Shannon was still very much present, they were very much attuned to each other as

I felt musical bandmates would be.

Shannon plays in a band, and though the two of them were not formally bandmates, they had their own “tunes” of scholarship and teaching, in which they frequently collaborated. The day after our interview, I observed their co-teaching in a workshop course on leadership. Shane wore a blue short-sleeved collar shirt with dark grey, faded black jeans and sneakers, while Shannon wore a black T shirt and jeans with black shoes. Outside of the glasses that hung around Shannon’s neck, his two large rings, hoop-earring on left ear and stud-earring in right ear, seemed to suggest they were ready to start “playing” their songs. During their workshop, Shannon and Shane both literally did play a song. They wrote and performed a musical skit together to demonstrate a classroom exercise and illustrate the systemic challenge of racism at an academic institution where they both have worked. In what I heard and observed in Shannon, I saw an artist both connecting and disconnecting with his identity as an educator to catalyze change with others from a place of personal fulfillment and joy.

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The Artist-Educator

Shannon grew up in Liverpool, England, which he described as a “very working- class industrial city” that is also “known for art and culture” with many poets, visual artists, comedians, and “an incredible amount of music” coming out of the city. Despite its “very dirty working class” conditions at the time, Liverpool “always had this incredibly rich tradition of artistic engagement.” In his teenage years, “the Beatles were breaking,” and he frequently went to the Cavern Club to see them play. At the time, it was “a no-alcohol, all-ages club,” where even 13-year-old kids were allowed in.

Shannon described how “amazing” it was in his early teens to “just wander in” to the club and “see all these fantastic bands.” This was also around the time Shannon started playing music. Shannon laughed as he described the first guitar he got when he was 13 years old: “it was a plastic guitar, and you had this device that you could put on the neck, and it had a number of buttons, and all you had to do was press the button, and it would play the chord for you. So you would strum the body, you wouldn’t have to use your hands.” He “quickly graduated from that, bought guitars at secondhand shops” and then played the drums in groups at school in his early teens until he became “more into the guitar” in college.

Shannon was born in a “very rough area of Liverpool” that was also called

“brutal.” His parents met while serving in the Royal Navy just as World War II ended.

With his mother from an upper-class family and his father from a working-class family,

Shannon believes “their paths never would have crossed had it not been for being in the service, because England is a very, very class-ridden country.” In this context,

Shannon’s parents married and faced challenges as the family of his mother “sort of

123 disowned her for marrying this working class guy [who] didn’t finish high school.”

Overtime, as Shannon’s father “became more successful” as he started working in sales for a large company and performed very well, their family “became more and more middle class” as they “moved up into better housing” in Liverpool. Yet, Shannon’s mother “was determined” to move their family out of Liverpool as, in Shannon’s view,

“she hated Liverpool. She hated the accent, everything that Liverpool represented, which was this very rough working-class city.” When Shannon was 13 years old, his family did move out of Liverpool and into the area of Cotswolds, a “very pretty part of Oxfordshire, which is associated very much with middle, and upper middle-class lifestyle.”

Nevertheless, and even if he believed “it was the right thing to do” to follow the decision his parents had made at the time, Shannon loved Liverpool and expressed his resentment around the move and new surroundings. He mentioned: “we ended up in this little village in the country, and I hated it because everything that gave me life and energy had been kind of ripped away from me.” As a result, and into adulthood, Shannon “made the vow” that he would not have his own children move out of a city they loved and was “really sorry to leave New York” when he and his wife moved to the Midwest to be closer to his wife’s family. Notwithstanding, they were able to work things out to live “right in the heart of the city” in the region to which they moved and where Shannon and his children continued to pursue music and found their musical “break”.

Shannon’s parents have since passed away, and he has brothers who live in

England. They both love music, but Shannon is the only one in the family of his generation who plays music. His grandmother was a professional violinist, but after trying to “force” his mother to pursue piano lessons towards a career as a professional

124 pianist, his mother never continued on in that path and “swore she would never send her kids to music lessons.” As a result, Shannon never received any musical training or lessons at home. Nevertheless, Shannon mentioned how music still “consumed” his life even as early as when he was nine-years old and how he remembers “really loving” music from this pre-teen years onward. In college, he played in bands and became the music reporter for his college magazine where majority of his college education entailed spending time around musicians and seeing their gigs and conducting interviews with well-known musicians who came through his college town. This affected his academic performance as he recalled a time when he was reported to the dean’s office: “the second year of my undergraduate work, I was called into the dean’s office because several of the profs had said I’d gone off the rails. And by that they meant I wasn’t showing up to lectures, because I was out really late doing all the music reporting, and I just couldn’t get up... So the study stuff wasn’t my passion. It was the music that was my passion.” After

Shannon graduated and continued to play on and off in bands. When he got his first teaching job, he became interested in English traditional folk music and ended up playing drums for a Morris dance group, which was “a real diversion” from his path of “rock- and-roll” at the time. Even though he no longer plays it with anyone, he mentioned that he “still loves” the music to this day.

Today, Shannon’s passion is his punk rock band. Their music is currently available on iTunes, Spotify, Bandcamp, and other retail outlets. The band was first formed over eleven years ago with his two then teenage children as co-founding band members. Shannon’s daughter, 16- or 17 years old at the time, sang and wanted to learn how to play the guitar, while his son, around 12 years old, wanted to learn how to play

125 the drums. Shannon bought his son a drum set for Christmas, and the three started playing together in the basement of their home. During this time, Shannon got to know musicians on the scene and deejays on a local radio station. One day, he got an idea that he would “like to get played on the radio,” and he, his children, and his friend officially formed the band and started playing and rehearsing covers and songs that Shannon wrote.

Shannon sent some demos to a deejay he knew not telling him it was from him. He would give the deejay a CD saying it was from a band he knew in the city and that perhaps he would like it. Then, as Shannon was teaching in the northeast region of the

United States and walking back with Shane to where he was staying that day, he got a call from the deejay on his cell phone. The deejay said: ““Well I love this band. I want to play them on the radio and booked them up for some gigs. Can you tell me who they are?”. Laughing as he recalled this incident, Shannon mentioned how that is when he told the deejay that the band was him and his kids. Soon after, the band set up gigs, and in just a few months, this same deejay contacted a record company and suggested they listen to some of the band’s songs, which were recorded in the basement of Shannon’s home. For a small independent record company, it was fairly well known and based in

Nashville. The record company got back to them the next day saying they wanted to sign the band. In the years since they first signed, they came out with six albums under the same record label as well as several vinyl singles and extended play records. During this time, Shannon’s children moved on from the band, while new members joined, and he has been the only permanent member since the beginning. The current band is in the middle of recording their seventh album.

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Shannon’s wife is also artistic. He mentioned how “she loves music,” and though she “doesn’t play,” she is a “very keen,” and “very good photographer.” He described how they both pursued their artistic passions at home as she would be working on photographs and wandering off to take more photos, while he would play the guitar or work on lyrics. As Shannon discussed the transition of the band and how their children eventually developed their own interests and no longer wanted to “be in a band with their dad,” he mentioned how their daughter is “a fantastic singer,” and how the experience may have been “great” for their son when he was thirteen years old and playing the drums with the band in bars that none of their son’s friends in the United States were allowed to enter, yet sometimes allowed in with the owner’s consent. From the original members to the current members who have been with the band for the last four years,

Shannon expressed how he “really feels” they are a “great band” and how “it’s just a fantastic thing [to be] involved with.” The band has played around the United States, around the Midwest, Arizona, and has been asked to travel to other places, but with bandmates having families and full-time jobs in law, medicine, and the arts during the day, they have had to turn some offers down. According to Shannon, “they don’t have the freedom that an academic does.”

As an educator, Shannon teaches at a university in the Midwest region of the

United States where he is tenured and has taught for over 27 years. He was first offered a position at the university when he and his wife decided to move to the Midwest to be closer to his wife’s family as they were raising their young children. Before the transition, he was a full-tenured professor in adult education at another institution in the

Northeast region of the United States. When he moved to the Midwest, and was offered a

127 job at the university, he requested that he not get tenured and work on a part-time contract. According to Shannon, though many people think it is “liberating” to get tenure, he felt, on the contrary, like his “life had ended, and the coffin lid had closed on

[him]” when he did get tenure before he moved to the Midwest. He expressed: “For me it was like, “Oh my God, the rest of my life is set now.” And I just really didn’t like it. So I said, ‘Ah, don’t give me tenure. The one thing that will make me not join you, is if you give me tenure.’ And they were amazed I would say that. I think they thought it was a reverse psychology negotiating strategy to get tenure.” Perhaps Shannon disliked the security and predictability that tenure offered, but after six years of working on a part- time contract, he was asked to create and design a new doctorate program in critical pedagogy. He felt that he needed more authority at the university to do so, and eventually did go up for tenure, which he received along with an additional title of being an endowed chair several years later. In his current roles, Shannon is expected to

“publish in a way that brings scholarly prestige to the university,” represent the university at conferences and other external events, mentor faculty, and teach adult learning and leadership courses across the university. Since the beginning to his current roles,

Shannon mentioned how he “absolutely loved” his role “because every week is different” as he works with different groups. He also mentioned his penchant towards challenge and change, which could explain his initial reluctance to get tenure at his current institution and willingness to embrace discomfort and uncertainty: “I tend to like things in life that challenge me, and that kind of knock me off my neat equilibrium, because whenever that happens, I always feel like a whole new pathway opened up for me. I get bored just doing the same thing and thinking about the same thing over and over again.”

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In the last few years, Shannon has become more involved with work around the issue of race and the Anti-racism Coalition. Prior to his teaching in the United States when he still lived in England and recently graduated from his doctorate programs,

Shannon used to work with the title of lecturer and community organizer and hence partly teaching as he was partly organizing. He mentioned how he has “always been interested in that side of things” and finds himself in universities “trying to influence leadership at the highest levels of the university” where his “organizing becomes organizing also within the university.” With racialized shootings in his city and many racial incidents on campus, Shannon has become very involved in issues of race and “trying to pressure the university” to “be aware of the white supremacy that’s embedded at the center” of its culture as a “predominantly white institution” that “no one really is talking about,” even as it seeks to diversify its student body and “welcome people of different racial groups, affiliations.” Furthermore, as a “senior white male” engaged in “furthering the process of people coming together to feel a sense of collective identity and responsibility to make some change in their world or in their organization” through this work, he sees himself devoting the next 20 years to addressing racism and engaging in an ongoing and what he sees as valuable practice of critical reflection on himself “as a white person who’s grown up not seeing whiteness” as he has been “so immersed in it.” According to Shannon, it has been “an endlessly fascinating, productively disturbing journey.”

As an artist-educator, Shannon views his roles as artist and as educator as “very distinct” and separate. He mentioned: “I don’t want my work as a musician to…that’s my fun part of my life. That’s who I really am. So I don’t want anything from work i.e. education, impinging on that.” For a while, Shannon even used a pseudonym for his

129 name in the band to hide this part of his identity from his academic audience as he “didn’t want anyone at the university to know” that he played in a band. He is now comfortable with letting people know, but for a while he compartmentalized these roles and kept these identities separate. He mentioned:

I felt like the art was my thing. And, because I’d had some success in my field, and was known, and had a reputation, I felt like there was a public definition of [“Shannon”] as this adult educator. And I wanted to be [“Shannon”] just a playful musician having fun whereas I felt if I’m in the role of [“Shannon”] educator, I’m supposed to sound profound, like I know stuff, and I’ll just be able to respond to questions, and that’s a big responsibility. Whereas with the [band], I just want to do the thing I love doing most and have a lot of fun. So in one sense they’re very, very separate. And, in the punk rock scene, there aren’t many people in my position who hang around that scene. (Shannon)

Shannon also identifies as a “strong introvert.” In this respect, he had to learn how to be comfortable with “being on stage” both as a musician, guitarist, and singer and as a teacher, presenter, or workshop facilitator. Although he had to adjust and grow to be comfortable in both domains of being an artist and an educator, he described very different reactions to performing each role. He described:

At the end of the day teaching, all I want to do is collapse, close my eyes, and stare into space, and not talk to anyone. But at the end of a show, I’m really wired, and I’m really energized. It’s very interesting to me that music, in that sense, really energizes me, and that the performance of teaching is more tiring. And I guess it’s because, I could go through a day without teaching, and I’d be fine, but if I went through a day without music or writing, I’d be unhappy. (Shannon)

In this respect, although both roles require a performance and come with an audience,

Shannon considers teaching, though he enjoys it, as more of a “job” that he is paid to do, while playing music is what he would do even without pay. For him, the two roles are very distinct even in the way he perceives himself in these roles. He further mentioned:

And I think it’s partly because the music is my who I really am, and the education is who the world sees me as, the Wikipedia [“Shannon”] has done, got

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all these awards, and everything. And I think that’s like, I feel a lot of impostership about that. I feel like that’s a false self, and when I’m on stage with the [my band], it’s the real [“Shannon”] they’re getting the real stuff there. So they are in separate domains in my head. (Shannon)

Here, Shannon’s motivations are different for each domain—teaching is extrinsically motivated while music is intrinsic. Quoting one of his favorite authors who mentioned that “the main thing you need to be a writer is, the feeling that you have to do it every day, but if you don’t do it you’re really unhappy,” Shannon shared how he felt the same way about music and about writing. This is how he defines an artist as one who creates out of necessity—because “you have to” and “because of the intrinsic pleasure that it brings to you, and the fact that you’d be unhappy, and frustrated if you couldn’t do it.”

Shannon views his identities as artist and as educator very separate and distinct from each other, but he nevertheless sees how they work together and at times overlap.

He mentioned how connecting to the audience and receiving their feedback—in ways that validate, recognize, and affirm—were important motivators in both music and teaching.

He shared: “human connection with another person or with a group of people is a big part of the artistic experience, and I think that’s what connects art to education, to teaching in particular, because I think teaching is similarly symbiotic.” In this respect when connection is lost or reinforcing feedback is absent in teaching, Shannon mentioned how he could “still summon up the appearance of enthusiasm and commitment” as he has been “trained to do that,” but internally he feels like he is “dying”. He described:

It’s a deadening experience to put your heart and soul into trying to get across things that you feel are really exciting, and most the stuff I teach I really feel is important. All the stuff on adult learning, the stuff on discussion, and the insights from critical theory that work around race, critical thinking, critical reflection, these are all basic survival skills of life to me, and not academic subjects. I feel like it’s really important, and I want other people to see how important this is. And when I don’t get anything back, I just kind of wither inside. (Shannon)

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For Shannon, the act of teaching itself may not necessarily come out of an intrinsic motivation in the way making music would. Nevertheless, his passion and desire to make a tangible impact are evident, and teaching may be the artistic experience that he tries to generate to connect with his students and help them make a difference in their communities, organizations, and the world.

Finally, Shannon discussed the role of responsiveness to an audience that significantly overlaps between his artistry and his teaching. As he explained how he gauges and responds to an audience his band is performing for or an audience he is teaching, he mentioned his growing interest in a stream of research on “micro-decision making.” In a teaching context, he described this as a process where “about every ten seconds, as you’re teaching, you have to make a micro decision where to move your head, who to call on, what particular word’s going to come out of your mouth, what example are you going to use, when to use a visual aid when to move around the room, how to respond to different non-verbal signals you see. You’re constantly making those mini decisions in the moment that keeps you very much in the moment.” Similarly, when he is playing music in front of an audience, he explained how he is making a lot of eye contact around the room as he is playing, singing, getting ready for a solo, looking at his bandmates, introducing the band and songs between numbers, telling stories, and thinking about how the band is going to do all these things. According to Shannon, this is “that same very enlivening process of constantly making decisions, that’s really enjoyable,” which “crosses both roles” as an artist and an educator. Moreover, in either role, “if you get to a position where you are on automatic pilot, and you’re just doing the same thing, and not aware of the audience, and unresponsive to them, then it’s a kind of death to you

132 in both domains.” Nevertheless, Shannon explicitly stated that he does not intentionally integrate his artistic experiences, skills, ways of making meaning and being in the world with his teaching. He may see connections between his artistry and his teaching when he is asked to reflect on it, but he generally does not consciously or intentionally make such connections. He mentioned:

I wouldn’t say that I intentionally do that, and so I wouldn’t say that okay, when the middle of teaching I’m thinking, “Wow, this is just like the show we played on Friday when I realized the audience was getting antsy. This class is getting antsy. So what I did at the show, can I transfer that over here?” I don’t really do that, no. It’s only when I sit back and think about that micro decision-making process that happens every 10, 15 seconds, that I realize it’s the same in both. (Shannon)

In the process of micro-decision making, Shannon is constantly adapting to an audience and making adjustments as he seeks out and takes in their verbal and nonverbal feedback on what is working well for them and what may need to be emphasized or held back to ensure they are engaged and having a positive experience. I saw this in the workshop

Shannon and Shane co-taught as they were observing the room, checking in and taking cues from each other, and gathering feedback through online chatrooms, group discussion, and a questionnaire they handed out at the end of their first day of teaching to make adjustments along the way to keep students engaged.

Shannon mentioned how the process of micro decision-making is “interesting in both roles” and referred to an additional similarity between his artistry and his teaching where “you’re always balancing your own personal preferences with the needs of an audience.” In this respect, though he prefers as a musician to “close his eyes when he is playing” and for “every song to be really fast, and up-tempo,” he would keep his eyes open to observe the audience and change the material to keep them engaged with the

133 band. Similarly, as a teacher, though he enjoys whole group discussion, he has realized that his students may prefer to work in smaller groups or move on to a different activity and consequently has trained himself to “hold [himself] in check” and his co-teachers in check to be mindful of how the students are responding and “to be constantly changing formats” as needed, even it may not align with their personal preferences in those moments. Moreover, he mentioned: “you can’t let your preferences completely dictate, I don’t think that’s what you want to do, if as both artist and educator, you feel the audience connection is important. So you constantly have to be monitoring that to make sure that your preferences aren’t negatively affecting how the audience is responding.”

As artist and educator, and though these roles may not necessarily be integrated for

Shannon, connection with the audience is essential in both of these roles, and developing the capacity and skills to sustain that connection in each role may reinforce each other.

Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

Shannon reported having had many experiences with music that were “very impactful” and perhaps even “transformative.” He is, however, cautious to use the word

“transformative” as he tends to believe that “for something to be transformative, it must mean you see the world in a fundamentally different, a new way,” while most of his experiences with music have “just confirmed” that music is “the thing that gives [him] the greatest pleasure” and being a musician is “a state being” that he enjoys, “would like to be in,” and “means a lot” for him. He further explained: “So it’s not as if I listened to a new piece of music, and I have a major new revelation about myself and see the world in a different way. Usually it just tends to be confirming that this is why I’m here, really.”

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With this caveat, however, Shannon did mention a few experiences with music that shifted his self-perception as a musician and approach to performing as well as teaching.

The first experience Shannon mentioned concerns his abilities as a musician. He recalled how he did not play live music very much as a teenager or young adult and that one of the reasons was because he “felt intimidated by the level of musicianship” that he observed in professional musicians. He would see guitar players performing “amazing solos” and think they were in “a completely separate universe” from where he was in terms of technique. As such, he believed he did not possess “the right to get up on stage and pretend to be an actual musician.” Along this journey, the “punk rock explosion happened” in the 1970s and Shannon described this to be “closest to a transformative musical experience” for him as this era dismantled the prevailing assumption he shared that one needed to be highly “technically advanced or accomplished” to be “legitimate” as a musician. He mentioned:

You just make music, and if all you can do is play two or three very basic major chords then you do that and you write a song around it and you perform it, there’s a lot of verve and enthusiasm, and that’s legitimate. So when I saw that idea being put into practice, and I heard records made by artists that I loved that I realized were very, very simple. That kind of really did hit me like a ton of bricks and I thought, oh, this is crazy for me to say I can’t be a real musician because I can’t do these high level very fast solos. I can still be a real musician who makes music that people really enjoy and that I love to play by, at a much simpler, less complex level. (Shannon)

This “opened up” for Shannon in his earlier adulthood a “do it yourself sense” and a sense that he could “make legitimate music without a high level of proficiency.”

Furthermore, as the idea of being a musician became more accessible to him, the growth and advancement of technology and digital technology enabled Shannon to also feel empowered to start recording music. Before this time, he believed that “the idea of

135 making a record in a studio was completely, it was like something that only gods did in another galaxy,” but the accessibility new technology offered to everyone to more easily record and make demos from their “own recording studio” that may even be “played on the radio as if it was a proper record” was “very, very liberating” for Shannon. This offered the space to experiment, take time, and “try out a lot of ideas” from the studio of his basement, which was different than recording in a professional studio, which was expensive to rent and use. Though his band still does record in a professional studio, his home studio offers him more space to “demo things,” “make mistakes,” rehearse solos, share demos with the rest of the band to try out and practice, and make choices he did not have before. For Shannon, this has been “a fantastic way of doing music” and “really, really helpful” for him and the band.

Shannon mentioned that he is “a lot happier, emotionally happier in in life” because of music. With a history of depression and anxiety, for which he is being treated, he described how playing music shifts him to “heightened state” and “a completely different realm of being” when he is “immersed in sound and feeling.” To illustrate this further, Shannon mentioned a book he often quotes by Herbert Marcuse called The Aesthetic Dimension (1978). According to Shannon, Marcuse argued that for

“substantial social change,” or even “any kind of revolutionary change” to happen, people must first be “exposed to an artistic experience because a real engagement with art moves you into a zone of being, which is fundamentally different from your normal everyday calculating way of moving through life.” As such, “when art hits you, you suddenly realize there’s this whole way of experiencing the world, which has to do with feeling and enjoyment and really being in the moment that’s completely different” from

136 conventional life rhythms of planning the day, completing mundane tasks, following orders, worrying about what others think. Shannon felt this perspective “was pretty accurate” for him. He further explained:

If you do experience that musical or any kind of artistic epiphany, right I’m now experiencing a fundamentally different way of being. Marcuse uses the word estrangement. It’s like kind of positive estrangement. You’re moved into a different reality when you experience that, you tend to say, “Oh, I want more of this. I really, I love this. This is what I want my life to be.” And so you start to question things like, “Well, why am I working so hard? Why do I believe that money will bring me happiness? Why do I feel I need to put in these hours during the day?” And instead you start to think, “Or maybe art is the purpose of being on the planet.” Maybe the feeling I get from that, which is so wonderful, I want that to be my organizing principle for life. (Shannon)

Shannon elaborated that perhaps this is why art and art education often may be perceived as “very dangerous to schools” as people may start to make different choices if they

“really decide that that artistic experience is the point of being on the planet, being in that way of being.” This, however, may not mean that people must all leave their jobs and pursue full-time professions as artists to feel fulfilled, but rather art may help people open up to new ways of thinking and doing things that can make life and work more meaningful. For Shannon, his experiences with music have helped him to consider different perspectives, resources, and approaches to teaching as he is also now more

“willing to break rules and to experiment with art and aesthetics in the classroom.” He mentioned:

I was kind of trained and socialized to think that only text was the only legitimate way of representing intellectual development or progress along some kind of continuum of learning, it always had to be depicted through writing. So I think my experience with art as a musician has probably had a role in that, and I’ve just become convinced, well if Marcuse is right and if this is so important to me, then I should have the confidence to build this into my teaching. So I’ve done that more and more. (Shannon)

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Shannon has both experienced as an artist, and integrated into his work as an educator, the “transformative” power of the arts. His “transformative” experiences with music seems to have shifted his perspectives and practices in teaching, which in turn, he hopes would also impact his students to discover new perspectives and take action in ways they perhaps may not have in the past. In this respect, as he has become more comfortable and open in his ways of making meaning both as an artist and as an educator.

Along his artistic journey, Shannon described how he has become “much more confident” as a musician and in his abilities, not so much in the technical sense, but more in the sense of believing that “making a mistake is not the end of the world.” He recalled earlier performances of his band where he would make a mistake and “grimace on stage” and “make it very, very clear that… something had gone wrong” and that he “had fluffed something.” Now he acknowledges and admits how he “makes mistakes all the time,” yet “feels like no one’s really watching” to make sure the words or chord sequences are correct or that the solo is played “in exactly the right way it should be.” Instead, he assumes that “people are just there to enjoy the experience of being out, at a live music event in this different realm, a different space they’re occupying.” This perspective has allowed him to be more comfortable with mistakes and reframe how he views mistakes.

He mentioned:

Of course in the pressure of the moment, you’re going to make mistakes all the time. That’s the nature of live performance. And they’re not really mistakes. So I’ve tried to reframe mistakes as just part of a natural rhythm, chance, things. Chance events happen all the time in the live performance, so don’t think that when that happens, it’s been a bad show because, A, the audience probably didn’t notice it. B, if they noticed it, it probably didn’t make any difference to them. And C, they were probably getting a lot of enjoyment from it, that was completely unconnected with the level of technical proficiency that you were demonstrating or whether you mixed up the verses or whatever, they were enjoying it for multiple reasons, social reasons, as well as musical reasons. (Shannon)

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Shannon’s increasing openness to mistakes and not worry so much about “flawless performance” has also “bled over” into how he approaches his academic profession. He recalled how he used to analyze a class he taught or a speech he gave over and over again, feeling incompetent and “stupid” with the mistakes he made. Now, he reacts differently and would “just accept” that some classes or speeches “will go better than others,” while others “will really fall flat,” but that has little impact on his view of his capacities and value as an educator. In addition, he mentioned how this reframing of mistakes has helped him think about teaching:

With teaching, well, actually I probably have almost no control over how people are going to take whatever it is I’m doing, and so instead of trying to control it, just accept that there’ll be large parts of what goes on in people’s heads during a day that are completely inaccessible to you and that have nothing to do with you, and yet they can still find the day really helpful and useful. So don’t be so concerned with rating yourself in terms of your technical fluidity as a teacher. Just accept that it’s a more unknown and unpredictable thing than you thought it would be. (Shannon)

As Shannon described his evolving perspectives around performance in teaching, he also mentioned the irony of the teaching evaluation forms used at his institution. These forms

“are set up on the assumption that teaching can be controlled and learning outcomes can be predicted and controlled and managed quite closely in the classroom,” which on the contrary “sits absolutely against” what he has learned from his experience as a musician, which has demonstrated that “there’s very limited amount that you have control over.”

Moreover, the forms assume a “standardized criteria of good, excellent teaching,” with which he disagrees.

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Teaching Leadership

To Shannon, leadership “is basically change agency,” and he “would put change agent and leadership or leader almost as interchangeable terms.” In this respect, he sees leadership in terms of “social action, organizing social movement” where “you get people to come together in some kind of common project, and your actions have contributed to a collective feeling empowered in some way to do something.” This framing of leadership may be reflective of Shannon’s prior experiences as a lecturer-community organizer, and the themes of social collective action and social change have been a common thread across all of his teaching. Moreover, Shannon does not view leadership as necessarily

“something from the front,” but rather what is exercised “from behind” to empower collective action. For example, many of the figures he and Shane examined and highlighted in a book they co-authored were “not charismatic front people,” but people who “just set the conditions for people to claim responsibility for whatever it is they’re doing.”

As an adult educator, Shannon also views the practice of leadership as synonymous to the practice of adult learning. In this respect, leadership is also a

“pedagogic task” where the person exercising leadership must be engaged in learning.

He mentioned:

I started to realize that the practice of leadership is fundamentally an adult- learning practice, because it involves learning about yourself, about managing dynamics of interpersonal communication, about negotiating the cultures of institutions, about knowing how to position new programs or trying to get going, about how to manage personnel, about how to create a vision, and get people behind that. All of those things, I think, are partly pedagogic tasks, have a strong element of pedagogy in them, and also require you as the person doing that work, constantly to be engaged in learning about your leadership. So I always felt that leaders should be viewed through the prism of adult learning. (Shannon)

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From an adult learning paradigm, Shannon often gives students a choice over resources and mentioned how “all the assignments, and the curriculum are geared towards helping people learn skills to influence settings that they work in or will be working in the future.” In this light, “all the pieces, the assignments are oriented in some way to change, not on interpreting text correctly or incorrectly, but on what [the students will] do to influence change in [their] organization in some kind of way.” Shannon would also include a module on power—”what constitutes power, when it’s abused, when it’s used ethically”—and a module on race, where “get people to surface race, racial dynamics, and make that an organizational agenda.” As students think about how to make their organizations and work processes more inclusive or democratic and about how they could

“get people to think more critically about day-to-day organizational functioning [and] become aware of the hegemonic process in the organization,” they also spend a large part of their time discussing and exploring “self-care” and “survival”—how to “survive not just politically in an organization, but emotionally.” This has entailed “the importance of building allies and having communities” and of guarding against burnout and exhaustion.

Learning and experience are central to Shannon’s teaching of leadership. In this respect, students learn about leadership through what they experience in the classroom as well as from reflections on the experiences they each bring into the classroom and what experiences they will pursue when the course ends. In this respect, practical and experiential application is always emphasized in Shannon’s teaching and how he would evaluate students’ work. He mentioned:

Well I guess the way that I evaluate student work is very much based on how concrete, and specific are the plans that you’re coming up with to influence change in your particular organization. So if someone writes a long analysis of a social justice leader, but doesn’t get to, “Well, what am I going to be doing?”

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then I always turn the paper back, and say, “You’ve not really written a paper that I asked for. What I need you is to concretize this in your own experience.” (Shannon)

Even in his doctoral level course on Leadership for Social Justice, he would ask students to connect what they are learning to their own experiences. Nevertheless, Shannon acknowledged that this could be “a bit confusing for doctoral students sometimes, because they come in thinking it will all be… this kind of theoretically, high-concept experience,” to then be asked to be “concrete, and specific, and descriptive” in their thinking and discussion about their applications and reflect on how, for example, they would run their next meeting to promote the “responsible use of power” or the way they all need to be “addressing race and acknowledge racial dynamics.”

Shannon also described how the practice of “narrative disclosure” has also been very impactful and influential in his own teaching and exercise of leadership. In this regard, whether in the classroom or at a meeting, he tries to model what may foster and facilitate learning among his students or colleagues. For example, to address the issue of racism, he would start by disclosing the errors and mistakes he has made, and continue to make, in his “thinking about race as a category” and in his “practice as a so called racially evolved white person” to help others became more aware and open to admitting their errors and mistakes and be more open to learning in a way that could be transformative.

He mentioned:

I like to point out how I committed micro aggressions yesterday, this morning as I was coming into the class or whatever, I will always go straight for that narrative disclosure of error because I’m wanting to make the teaching point that if you’ve had a lifetime socialization into a white racial identity, you can’t expect to take a class on race and to come out the other end having nailed it. You know, you may be coming out the other end with a little bit more insight, but it’s just the beginning of what will be a lifelong journey. (Shannon)

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Several years ago, Shannon provided written feedback on an assignment I submitted to him. In response to my suggestion to have people share and reflect on real cases of racism they have experienced, witnessed, and/or exhibited in their educational context in a potential faculty development workshop, he also advocated for “some initial modeling and narrative disclosure to set a tone for what’s to come.” He further commented: “You need to earn the right to ask people to take risks by first modeling your own engagement in risk in front of them.”

Shannon’s increasing use and comfort with narrative disclosure may also be reflective of his evolution as a musician. As he translates what he learns in music to

“teaching moments” in the classroom and takes more risks to experiment and bring in more art and aesthetics to the classroom, he has used more images and visuals, music, poetry, drawing to be more inclusive and accommodating to students’ varied ways of learning. In lieu of a traditional academic paper, Shannon has also allowed students to pursue assignments that are “creative representations of whatever it is they are learning,” which have included music compositions, poems, haikus, paintings, and video streams with narrative explanations. Moreover, in the workshop I observed of Shannon and Shane co-teaching, Shannon and Shane asked students to work in groups to produce a creative representation of the questions they discussed around hope. As the two instructors announce their intentions to do a skit, Shannon here again explicitly communicated the importance of “modeling” and how as a teacher or leader, you would need to experience for yourself what you would be asking others to do.

Finally, Shannon also mentioned during our interview his preference for co- teaching and co-leading. In this respect, he would co-teach courses and co-present for

143 keynote addresses, finding more value in the different perspectives and skills each person on the team would bring than what he alone could bring to a class or presentation.

According to Shannon, this is “how things function in the real world” where people are

“always working in association with others.” This holds true for his artistry as well as his teaching. He mentioned that he “much prefers” to do things in groups and loves playing in a band rather than performing solos, which he described as “stressful.” As a group, he mentioned how the band would connect and “feed” each other as they are connecting to the audience, which allows them to enjoy the experience “so much so that even if the audience wasn’t there,” they would “still be having a great time together.” Similarly, in co-teaching, he mentioned the element of “pleasing uncertainty” where he may not necessarily know what his colleague is going to say or do, but nevertheless excited to be a part of a “creative teaching” experience with another person as they connect with each other and with the students. In the workshop I observed of Shannon and Shane co- teaching, Shannon expressed at the end of the workshop how “great” it was to have a co- teacher who stimulates him and whom to depend on “one hundred percent” even as they

“really do not know what each other is going to say.”

Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

For the artists teaching their first leadership course, Shannon recommends a “very experiential autobiographical approach.” This entails the instructors to first be authentic and forthright about what they bring to their teaching from their own narratives and experiences:

Start with your own experience in your own narrative in your own story, because that’s a kind of authority that no one can take away from you. You are the author of your story. You are the person who has lived that experience,

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nobody else has. So when you talk about the excitement or the transformative power of art or the meaning artistic creativity has for you, people are going to see into the heart of who you really are. So don’t be worried about hiding behind a veneer of objective authority. Just be yourself and tell vignettes from your history that illustrate that. (Shannon)

From personal narrative and experiences, Shannon then recommends moving to discussing how others, whom the instructor has observed or witnessed, have exercised leadership. For example, if the leadership of artists is to be explored, examining how other artists have enacted and demonstrated leadership in a positive way could clarify assumptions around why their particular actions as artists constitute leadership—”what it is that they did that made [you] feel that they deserve to be called a leader.” Moreover, by analyzing these experiences, the instructor could “extrapolate what are the dynamics of how they behaved that was so powerful” to further articulate their assumptions and understanding of leadership.

After analyzing the instructor’s personal experiences around leadership and how others in the instructor’s purview have exercised leadership, Shannon finally suggests having students discuss and analyze how people in their own lives, perhaps even a friend, family member, or community member, have practiced leadership and why their particular actions were significant. Shannon has found this approach helpful as students do not always consider themselves as leaders, especially at the onset of their learning.

Then, as students start thinking about leadership in their personal contexts of relationships, common themes would emerge as students “bring out into the public domain the different things that they feel made these people deserving of the title of leader.” Furthermore, as students then reflect on times they themselves “have come closest to doing these things,” or even if they cannot think of any actions they have taken

145 but can still envision doing in their near future, they can still “extrapolate the practices

[they’ve] drawn from that and see situations in which [they] can be implementing and enacting some of these practices.” Here, students may see how they themselves may also be leaders who have already made an impact and/or can make an impact in their present and near future.

Though literature, written cases, and academic research may be useful or even inspirational resources for learning, Shannon recommends against starting the course with leadership literature or biographies of great leaders as this would “just intimidate students.” From his perspective, “a lot of courses begin with the great leaders and here’s what we should aspire to be and here’s what they did,” which in his view is “unrealistic and disconnected as a way of getting into leadership”. He instead suggests starting autobiographically, for both instructor and students, and then working backwards to insights from leadership research and literature. Though this approach to teaching leadership may “not be typical,” he believes will help students see more connections to how leadership is relevant in their lives and accessible to them.

In the classroom where Shannon and Shane co-teach leadership, students share their “creative representations” of hope after Shannon and Shane have just performed the musical skit they co-wrote on their own journey towards hope. In preparation for their skit, I observe them talking and writing things out and discussing the props they would need—buttons, posters—humming and rehearsing with the Kazoo and tambourines.

Here, I could imagine Shannon with his band getting ready for a show, trying things out, discussing, making decisions, and having fun as Shannon playfully suggests that I can

“write up that the professors are about to make fools of themselves by doing a skit.”

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Several minutes later, Shannon and Shane perform their skit. In the second act, they are marching, raising their fists and rallying the crowd (students) with the chant: “Tell me what democracy looks like! This is what democracy looks like! What do we want?

Social justice! What do we want? Social justice! When do we want it? Now! When do we want it? Now!” and improvising as they performed each preceding and subsequent act. Shannon and Shane end their skit singing a song about the “long way to social justice,” that we would get to “for sure.” The students are engaging and laughing and

“performing along” as the audience. The workshop ended with an appreciative pause and expressions of gratitude from everyone in the room. Shane mentions that “appreciation is a quality that is often neglected in leadership” and “not something you do on the side” as he thanks everyone for bringing their perspectives of leadership and shares how is leaving the classroom “with a lot more hope in leadership.” Shannon thanks Shane again for his partnership, and the class ends with hand clapping and students coming up to both of them to take photos and express their thoughts and reactions. I too take a photo with them and say goodbye as they both express their encouragement for my dissertation journey ahead. And as I reflect on this experience alongside all the other learning experiences I have had in his classrooms, I see Shannon as both artist and educator fully integrated in the way he connects with his co-teaching mate and students as well as the way he has just expressed his passion, fun, and playfulness through a creative collaborative performance that would both embody and generate learning in a journey towards hope and social change.

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Irini: “Catalyzing Performer-Alchemist”

I met and got to know Irini at various biennial iterations of the International

Transformative Learning Conference in New York City and Tacoma, Washington.

Whether it be presiding over a large-group session or a personal conversation in more intimate dinner gatherings of colleagues, mentors, and friends, Irini shifted us out of

“heads” and into our “hearts.” At a plenary, I noticed her passion and presence on the platform as if she were on stage and wondered if she had an acting background as she instructed us as a conference community to move around and connect with each other without using words. In a formal presentation about her latest research to an academic audience, I heard Irini share heart-felt memories of how the people in her life, among whom some are now also in my life, touched her life in profound ways. She was both provocative and poetic, bold as well as tender, in how she let her tears flow publicly in front of an academic audience or share her raw and honest opinions on how much a seemingly interesting dish her faculty mentor-turned-peer was thinking of ordering from a shared menu would not go well and be regretted. I also saw Irini more recently perform a Pecha Kucha at a conference welcoming ceremony. Her six-minute performance that weaved together her personal narrative, current events, and ongoing systemic challenges around transformative learning theory ended with a standing ovation with some people moved to tears. I too felt a range of emotions as she performed that evening and subsequently entered into the emergent space of the conference with deeper resonance with the themes and purpose of our gathering that week. In whatever context I saw her,

Irini did not seem to be afraid, shy, or hesitant to bear her soul publicly or intimately, and she had a strong voice. Her grounded confidence, colorful expressions, and sense of

148 freedom both as an academic and among academics was refreshing as it was inspiring to encounter each time.

As our paths have continued to cross over the years through various forums and occasions, I have gotten to know Irini beyond the plenaries and presentations and have discovered why my faculty mentors encouraged me to connect with her. In one respect, our leanings in leadership education and interests in complexity arising from similar kinds of lived experiences from childhood to early adulthood were shared. In another respect, we both seemed to flow more intuitively and artistically in our way of being and relating as we were “becoming” and “owning” who were as artists. When I reached out to Irini several months ago to recruit participants for my dissertation, she responded by stating that she considered herself a “performer.” Acknowledging that I might not necessarily connect “performative art” with the term “artist” in my own frame of reference, she expressed that she was an artist in the sense of performing and “would be happy to participate” if I did feel that she fit my criteria for artists. At the time, my assumptions about artists were initially limited to those mediums with which I was familiar, and I was curious to learn more about her art of performing. Moreover, as I was also looking educators who self-identified as artists, I did feel that Irini fit the profile of my participants very well. In addition, she also referred to herself as a “generative facilitator,” which intrigued me and seemed to suggest an interesting perspective on leadership teaching. A few months after our exchange, I traveled to her location of residence and work to observe her teaching and conduct our first interview.

Irini graciously and generously offered to host me and welcomed me into her home where her parents were also living. It was a hot summer day when I landed at the

149 airport and took a shuttle bus to her campus. We headed to dinner at her favorite local restaurant where we sat at the bar and enjoyed a glass of wine and food that Irini or the bartender recommended, discussing my dissertation journey and thoughts on where the field of adult education was heading. We ran into one of Irini’s faculty colleagues at the restaurant. When we arrived at Irini’s home after dinner, I met her parents who warmly welcomed me into their beautiful and colorful home. We spent a few minutes chatting in their living room, surrounded by paintings, sculptures, and artifacts from around the world, before I was guided to the guest room that was also filled with color and works of art. The next day, the three of us started our morning with Turkish coffee with cardamom and a simple breakfast of eggs with almond flour tortilla, which Irini prepared. Irini then headed to school after breakfast, while I stayed behind in their home, reading on their front porch for part of the morning and working in Irini’s home office until it was time to head over to her campus to conduct our interview at her school office and observe her teaching in the classroom. Before the campus visit, Irini’s mother prepared a Greek cheese pie for lunch. In the evening after Irini’s class, her father prepared grilled salmon for dinner. Irini and her parents were very kind and generous in their hosting and hospitality, which deeply touched me. Each meal was a lovely occasion to experience

Irini’s family rhythms, hear family stories, and learn about the art they created and collected over the years. Irini and her parents were joyful with their laughter and humor and warm in their care and hosting. We all had one more breakfast together early the next morning before Irini drove me to my shuttle shop for the airport. From meals to living room chats, art to academic teaching, I felt like I was learning continuously in a sacred and culturally rich space, which was also generative. It also turned out to be a

150 transformative experience in how I started to view and approach my dissertation thereafter and how I started to see my aspirations as an educator as well as artist. Shifting out of the space of my own head and into my heart, my dissertation was no longer an intellectual task, but a sacred journey that has been opening my mind and my heart in new and profound ways.

Irini performs a Pecha Kucha in the class I observe. Wearing a bold and bright red dress, she shares with her students that she would “play” in a way that would “bring alive theory” and “engage theory in a non-theoretical way.” With 20 slides and 20 seconds per slide, she “performs” the theory they were learning in class with visuals, theater, poetry, and spoken word. In the audience, we hear her speak about “order” and

“not yet,” “disorder” and “reorder,” “Black Lives Matter” alongside “climate change,”

“Notre Dame burning down,” with “changing hearts.” Students then spend three minutes of free writing before they share their first impression, what they noticed, and how they connected what they saw and heard to the theory they were learning. One student shares how Irini’s performance made her “feel deeply” and “relate” to her, while another student expresses how “distracting” the presentation was to her as she struggled to “keep up” with the content. Irini responds to student reactions expressing how she appreciates the

“diversity of impact” and how the students mirrored the myriad ways in which the theory manifests itself in reality. Following the performance, Irini begins to discuss theory using her personal lived experience to explain concepts, which subsequently opens up a space for students to share and relate their personal lived experiences with the theory as well as each other. Midway through the class, the student who initially felt distracted by the performance expresses that something is “clicking” for her as “something is

151 disrupting” her way of thinking. Irini explains that she is giving students an “experience” of the theory, and in this respect, students are “learning by experiencing and embodying the concepts.” Here in this space, as I engage with her Pecha Kucha a second time, I finally see the “performer” in Irini and how she integrates her artistry with teaching in a

“generative” way.

The Artist-Educator

Irini described her cultural narrative as one of “displacement and un-rootedness.”

She was born in the United States to Palestinian-Greek parents who were refugees of the

Arab-Israeli War. Her parents met through an arranged marriage by families who intended to maintain their strong lineage as Asia Minor Greeks and married into similar families, until Irini’s generation who “started to break the lineage” by marrying into

French, English, Israeli, and other family lines. Irini’s parents both grew up in Palestine and met in the United States where her father had just graduated from college on scholarship and working his first job. Her mother was about to graduate high school in

Palestine when the marriage “call” came and subsequently took a ship to New York City.

Though the marriage was first arranged, Irini’s parents fell in love, and within the first year of their marriage, Irini was born in Indiana. Since then, Irini’s family traveled and lived in various locations around the world, including Greece and Singapore.

According to Irini, music and dance are significant parts of the Greek and Arabic culture. As such, she grew up being “constantly exposed to” art in music, song, traditional rituals, hymns at church, museum exhibitions that her family would attend, textiles and paintings her family would make or purchase, and other mediums.

Moreover, Irini described how both her parents “expressed themselves in beauty.” Her

152 father is an artist who sings and has an “incredible passion for spiritual hymns,” that are

“just part of his soul.” He chanted in Holy Sepulcher when he was a boy. With “his spirituality is held in song,” the holy song was a source of stability for him as the stability of ancient chants endure through time and are sung in churches across the world. In addition to singing, Irini’s father creates jewelry. According to Irini, her father is artistic and “certainly has the soul of an artist” as he is “a creator,” and “his hobby is to make beautiful things.” Nevertheless, she also mentioned that he could be a “secret artist” as he was an engineer by profession. Irini’s mother was “artistic” in that she was “very aesthetically oriented” and “very fashion oriented” and conscious of how she presented herself. From Irini’s perspective, she was “artistic in her expression of her identity,” and

Irini described how she grew up seeing her mother as “the best dressed,” “the most sort of well put-together,” and “elegant.” With respect to other members of her family, Irini’s siblings may not consider themselves artists, but all have a strong appreciation for art.

Outside of her immediate siblings, her sister is married to a photorealist artist. Irini’s grandmother was an “incredible knitter” and “renowned” for her Palestinian embroidery.

Her cousin is a fashion designer, and there are many others across generations of her family who are painters, writers, and poets.

With an American passport, Irini grew up in Greece and lived in Singapore for 21 years, within which she spent a few years studying in the United Kingdom and in the

United States. Irini laughed as she described her “very complicated” sense of identity speaking Greek, yet viewing herself “not really Greek,” spending a significant part of her life in Southeast Asia, but “not really Asian,” and identifying as a Middle Eastern woman

153 who does not speak Arabic. This has shaped Irini’s sense of herself as an artist and her artistic expression with a constantly evolving identity. She described:

I studied art history, and again, felt so connected to the stories of the Impressionists and the struggles of the artist. I think artists are a little bit angsty, they’re constantly wondering who they are and who they’re becoming. And, and in that sense, I’m an artist. I don’t have the security in my... I mean, I’m confident, but I also have an insecurity about myself… And I’m constantly on the edge of becoming anew. And I think that’s very much my artistic expression. (Irini)

In the midst of frequent change, Irini mentioned how the structures or supports that were consistent through her many transitions were “art in the form of woven textiles” and “art in the form of water.” As she described the array of woven objects in her home, from carpets, tapestry, and her grandmother’s embroidery, which I was able to see when I visited her home, she mentioned that weaving is a significant part of her culture. Given her cultural context, Irini views textiles as a metaphor for “enduring” as they were passed through the generations of her family with lasting colors and patterns. She also mentioned how she is able to “relate to the woven form” wherever she goes, including in the classroom where she considers herself a “weaver” even in her teaching. In her words:

“I bring things together that maybe are not usually brought together, but somehow we find a pattern, and then that pattern sort of unfolds something new.” In addition, “water” is a source of “stability” where she “feels at home” amidst frequent change. Irini described her family journey with a “lack of a home, a nation-state” like the roots of a mangrove tree that “can walk above the land to get their water,” as they moved towards the water and away from the water with roots in multiple locations.

As an artist, Irini considers herself a theatrical “performer.” At the onset of our interview, she mentioned how my questions about her background and experiences as an

154 artist were “foregrounding” one of her identities that she has kept “in the background.”

She believes that she was a “performance artist” since she was a child and has “secretly identified” herself in this way for a number of years. In childhood, Irini “loved to put on skits and plays” as she “organized” her siblings to perform for their parents. Whether it be songs from Grease or traditional Greek music, religious to festive during holidays such as Christmas, Irini shared how she “of course” had the “star role” while her siblings followed her lead as they performed their song, dance, or “crazy skit” that they made up.

She laughed as she recalled such memories and shared how they were the entertainment as her family did not own a television. She also mentioned that it was “a way to communicate with [her] parents” and a way to “be in relationship to the family dynamics” in that it was a means to “mediate” the way she received attention as a child.

Irini also mentioned that she was “an aesthetic child” where she would was

“always exploring” and have “experiences” with the natural surroundings of where she grew up by the ocean, whether it be with “the beauty of sand and multicolored-ness of seaweed and stone,” the “blue sky and yellow flowers [embedded in] a very arid landscape or water or mountain,” or going up the mountains to “play with the goats.” For her, the beauty of where she lived as a child was an “incredible place of imagination” which provided her “first encounter with art or beauty” and shaped her understanding of art as “conveying beauty, as conveying reality in an amplified way.” She shared additional childhood and adolescent memories of visiting the caves of Mount Olympus with her father “convinced” that she would be “meeting Zeus,” being moved to tears at the sound of the singing and chanting at church, or rendered “speechless” by the

“incredibly beautiful and human” encounter with Zen monks at a golden pagoda in

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Kyoto, Japan. In all these things, she mentioned her love of Greek mythology, Greek tradition, and religious art and how different cultural and spiritual experiences with art continued to shape her even to the point of inspiring her to consider becoming a nun for a period of time.

Irini graduated from high school when she was 17 years old. In college, she was allowed to take two electives, which included art history and English literature. Her

English literature course was taught by a playwright who would turn the literature the class was reading into plays. One time, they wrote and performed a parody of a Mills &

Boons romance, in which Irini performed. The play was received so well that it led them to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Here, Irini awakened as a performer and started to see herself in theater. Nevertheless, she did not pursue it further until later into adulthood. Even with her love of performance art and awakened sense of identity as a performer-artist, she did not feel led to pursue the professional path of an artist and was discouraged from her family to do so.

Irini’s journey as an educator “unfolded” without explicit family influence. She laughed as she shared how her parents even believed that she would be a lawyer, while her niece currently calls her “the general.” Irini actually did go to law school and consider becoming a lawyer. Though aware of how she may demonstrate skills and behaviors that would make her effective in such a role, she discovered teaching and learning as the medium in which her capacities for leadership may integrate with her proclivities as an artist. She mentioned:

I argue a lot and talk, and I take control … there’s all kinds of ways in which my identity is, in a funny way, oriented towards some kind of command or control, which probably is a coping mechanism. But ultimately, my passion is to lead learning … I think the way, my education, the way I educate, is my artistic

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form. I mean that learning is my medium, and facilitating learning is my medium. (Irini)

With a “natural acuity towards the nonrational and more fluid forms of expression and being,” Irini mentioned how she intuitively “always knew” that she would be teaching.

Furthermore, it is through teaching that her artistry of performance has blossomed and found an outlet. Moreover, from childhood and adolescence into adulthood, Irini’s artistry of performance was a way to draw upon her multiple identities to respond to different situations as well as make sense of life. She described: “As a performer, my artistry has been to be able to bring my multiple identities to bear to a particular situation, whether it’s a conflict or a teaching opportunity or negotiating something or interacting with someone comfortably or uncomfortably. So I’d say that the performer in me has played a very significant role in the ways in which I negotiate my relationship to my life.”

For Irini, her roles as artist and as educator are “interdependent” as they are

“distinct” as parts of a “repertoire” that “can be mobilized when needed” for different purposes. Along these lines, she views her current role as an educator “to create the best conditions” for her doctoral students to achieve success in completing their journey of doctoral education, while her role as an artist provides “the secret magic sauce” of how she does so and how she catalyzes her doctoral students. In her words: “I would say that the artist in me catalyzes learning and development and taking up voice and influence in a classroom for people in different ways. And that is the artist doing that.” In addition to catalyzing learning, Irini also discussed power dynamics and how her role as an artist would mediate the power distance between her students and her role as an educator. In this respect, “the artist is the playful one” that provides “a way in and through power that

157 the educator does not” and “penetrates some of the barriers” associated with such power dynamics to “create as flat as a system as one can do in a hierarchical system.”

According to Irini, “the artist allows that power to be generative in a different way” and

“allows power to be taken and to be given.” As Irini establishes boundaries, structures, and parameters as an educator, the “performer” in Irini would “play with stretching the mind, the heart, the will” among her students. In this intimate space of interaction, students may have a profound experience with the performer who stretches them. Irini described: “Sometimes there is ripeness and readiness in my students to meet the performer in me, the artist in me, in ways that allows them to have deep experiences, whether they’re transformative or not we won’t talk about that. But there are deep experiences, I would say. I mean, I get that feedback from them.” She also mentioned that she intentionally does not “create barriers” between herself and her student as she has come to discover that “the greatest learning is going to happen in the space between

[them].”

As a faculty member of her current institution, Irini also started an improv theater group. She described how the “spontaneity of improvisational theater” was a “really gratifying” means to “get out of [her] head” and “into [her] heart and [her] body.” She still views herself a performer and also considers that she may become “more of a poet” into her 50s as she described the way that she writes as “very metaphorical and lyrical.”

From performance to poetry, Irini described how her recent development in integrating who she is an artist into all parts of her life has allowed her to embrace the fullness of who she has become. She mentioned:

In my becoming … I would say that for a long time I thought oh, you know, I’m a… like [in] my identity of, “oh, I’m a rescuer, or I’m a protector, or I’m a

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risktaker, or I’m an intervener… Like I’m a perturbator, a challenger.” Like there are a lot of other things that I would identify as before I would say “Oh, I’m an artist.” But now I realize, no, actually, being an artist allows me to really take up my fullness in a way that all of the other identities are just so much smaller than my fullness … But that’s new for me. (Irini)

Irini defined the artistry of performance with her description of the “alchemist.”

According to Irini, the alchemist is one “who takes matter and attempts to transmute it in some way.” With her ability and way to “move with words,” Irini views her performance in similar ways. For her, performance “is about taking energies and peoples’ dispositions and liquefying them in a way to bring new shape.” In this respect, through her performativity, she is able to “articulate,” “modulate,” “enter spaces physically,” and

“intervene and create” as a “catalyst.” As such, her “performativity is catalytic” as she tries to “linger,” “let something shift,” and “let something take a new shape” in the spaces she enters. This is what she is able to offer as an educator. She mentioned:

I would probably say that my gift as an educator and my personal growth as an educator over these now almost decade as an academic is recognizing that my strength and the gift that I bring to my doctoral education, and any place is my ability to catalyze learning and to catalyze growth. So that’s what I’m doing. And that’s my approach to leadership and learning and development and change. (Irini)

Irini teaches leadership as a catalyst, and through all the evolution and learning along the way, the “performer” within her, whether integrated or used to protect, has continuously helped her catalyze learning and change both among her students and within herself to

“become” the artist-educator she is today.

Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

For Irini, art has also drawn her into her “most tender and fully human connected self,” while her “performative capacity has continued to reshape itself.” Moreover, her

159 personal growth and transformation with art has been a more continuous and gradual process of discovery. During our interview, Irini mentioned how she was “suddenly flooded with many memories and moments where that opening happens” and referred to her personal learning with art as continuous with “many micro-transformations” rather than one or few key moments. She described:

I think the transformation for me, it’s not just one moment, is this continuing… art has been like the opening of you, like the melting of my head. I’m very heady. I’m extremely headstrong. I’m very intellectual. I lead with my head. But I think I do all that because I’m extremely open-hearted. And, again, my relationship to art continues to be the place where my head takes a break. (Irini)

Art has been a way for Irini to move into the more vulnerable spaces of her heart and connect with parts of herself that may not always be expressed or visible. On “more of a tender side of things,” Irini shared about her experience of incest and rape as a child by a relative. As she has inquired into this more deeply in the last five years, she mentioned how her “identities of being really competent” kept her “protected” in some ways from her “own terror” and her “own self.” Overtime, she has to recognize that “disconnection is no longer wise,” and thus the “willingness to do the work for connection” that is

“internal” to her—to “remain connected,” and “connected in the face of another,” has been her “artist’s journey.” For her, this is “not merely intellectual and it’s not merely physical.” It is rather “really soulful,” and she feels “very strongly” that “in [her] soul,” she is an artist.

Irini shared how her experience of trauma as a child and how she has been processing it over the years is a part of her journey as an artist. Along this journey, art and performance were the ways she survived and remained connected to her heart even

160 when she may have felt fragmented or disconnected in other areas of her mind and body.

She shared:

In my mind, I’m an intellectual. In my body, I’m a pretty aggressive female. So I think that there’s a way in which that trauma is part of the story of this. And, in some ways, potentially because of that, soulful artistry that maybe was latent and is just now starting to come through in a bit more competent way, that probably saved my life. I mean, I think it saved my life because I wasn’t just all head or all body… Cause I think there was this more fluid, really fluid, malleable part of me that somehow managed to escape and find hiding places and survive. (Irini)

Theater and performance allowed Irini to “play a different role” from her childhood trauma “to protect” herself as well as her vulnerabilities even “at very high costs” at certain points of her life. With the adversity and challenges she encountered and tried to work through, Irini considers her “role of performer” as “a formidable space” out of which she has developed and become who she is today.

Though Irini described her journey of transformation and personal learning with art as a more gradual and continuous process, she nevertheless identified a specific transformative experience of her awakening as an artist. Describing this as a “catalytic moment,” Irini was 17 years old when she experienced her awakening as a performer. At the time, she was involved in performing in fringe theater during her first year of undergraduate studies in law. As she was about to turn 18 years old and on stage performing, she noticed a shift and awakening within herself in the midst of her performance that both alarmed and frightened her. This made her question her sense of identity as she described how she was “totally afraid” of what was happening to her.

Here, Irini’s artist identity “emerged,” which she “certainly recognized,” but it did not

“start taking shape” right away. At the time, she did not believe that she “really owned that identity” nor did she allow it to continue blossoming. Moreover, there was the social

161 and cultural “stigma” of being called an artist or performer, which discouraged her from further exploring who she was becoming as an artist or developing as an artist. Instead, as many people could have done at her life stage and cultural context, she decided to identify with a profession—whether it be a lawyer, conflict resolution mediator, or consultant—that seemed to better affiliate with a respectable “social status” and worked as such for many years.

As Irini described that her learning and growth—as well as awakening—with art was a more gradual process of discovery, she also explained how her identity as an artist became more fully realized along her development and work as an educator. In this regard, as Irini embarked on her path in academia later in adulthood, she came to

“recognize” and embrace her “performativity” and “metaphorical, lyrical approaches to thinking and acting” and realize that she is “more artistic than [she is] rational, scientific, professional.” She mentioned: “I’d say that it’s not until, really, more after my doctoral work and my writing now, and how my pedagogy’s evolving, that I realize, oh, I am definitely ... more philosophical, more artistic, in that sense. I would say I’ve gradually come to it… I can tell you that that play that I did when I was 17 years old is the moment.

But I didn’t own that until more recently.” Irini had a moment of awakening as an artist in her teenage years and accepting that part of herself has been a long and ongoing process as well as recent discovery.

Irini’s performance as a teenager was not her last performance nor was it her last transformative experience as a performer. Irini shared another transformative encounter with art when was recruiting participants for her doctoral study. She recalled an incident where she wrote a two-page memo about her study and sent it to a faculty mentor who

162 challenged her and facilitated a unique opportunity for growth. After he read her memo, the faculty mentor responded saying that it was the “most boring memo” he had ever read and suggested that she “move beyond the research memo” and use a more engaging strategy to recruit participants. He then invited her to a leadership development program that he was facilitating in Boston and offered her a space to recruit participants. The program was scheduled to take place two weeks later, and he gave her the last 45 minutes of his program time to present her study. She was given two weeks to figure out how she would “invite and evoke ambiguity” to recruit participants from his leadership development program, which, according to Irini, this was a “humbling and really intimidating” invitation. Here, she decided to “put [her] skin in the game” and write a three-act play based on her own lived experience and lived story. In this play, she

“enacted” her lineage and how she was the “inheritor” of her “tribal history” and genealogy. This turned out to be a transformative experience for her as her self- perception as a performer shifted to one of integration and deeper authenticity. She described:

I performed this play like I’ve never performed a play. I mean, it just came out of me. And it was transformative because I fully embodied myself. And it was the first time that I really enacted my living story and didn’t hold back … But the way I performed it was transformative, for the people who watched me and experience me and for me. And that was, I think, the beginning of me owning the fact that I really am a performer. Up until then, it was sort of like, well, I exaggerate, I embellish. (Irini)

Irini ended up recruiting six out of nine total participants for her study through this performance. Her journey of finally “owning” her identity as a performer also impacted her teaching thereafter. Teaching since her early 20s, Irini was “always in the role of somehow facilitating learning [in] whatever capacity” and has always considered herself

163 a “very charismatic facilitator.” Catalyzing was part of her work, but her perspectives, approaches, and reactions back then did not convey integration or thriving. She mentioned:

I would say like in my 20s, I used my energy to catalyze things. And I got to the point where I would be exhausted. Like I would teach for a week and then I would break out on a rash. Because I was relying on my dynamism. I had sort of the content and then it was delivering it dynamically. But I realized that really was, I mean, it wasn’t until later that became more aware that that was depleting my resource and not really tapping into my resource. I was almost like a force of nature. My first tries with teaching from a performance orientation was forcing the performance. By speaking loudly and using my hands and being big … like a novice performer. (Irini)

Irini’s approaches to teaching and catalyzing shifted over time, and her personal learning and growth journey with art as a performer seems to have impacted her perspectives and work, not only as an artist, but also as an educator. At the age of seventeen, Irini discovered a new aspect of herself as an artist, but she initially compartmentalized roles and did not integrate this part of herself until later into adulthood. This also showed up in her teaching. Even as she integrated her artistry in earlier stages of her teaching career, she described how she at the time allowed her “performer” identity to “have full play” only when she facilitated adult learning. Since then and over time in her maturing as an adult, she has come to more fully embrace her “artist identity.” In her words: “I would say that as I’ve matured and grown and sort of developed, and certainly more as I entered my forties, I realized this is not an identity I need to recruit on from nine-to-five or at two in the afternoon. This is who I am.”

Finally, Irini’s journey and learning as an artist has enabled her to discover her capacities and purpose as a “catalyst.” She mentioned: “What I’ve realized is that my purpose, the place where I have greatest influence is as a catalyst. So I would say that my

164 personal growth and journey as an artist has allowed me to more fully own and develop my catalytic capacity.” This has also influenced her teaching as she stated: “I teach as a catalyst. And so, I’m catalyzing entry into an epistemology. I’m catalyzing an ontology.

I’m catalyzing a methodology. And then I’m willing to be with you for as long as you need me to be and continue to open the door.”

Teaching Leadership

Irini’s current way of defining leadership, though it may change, entails “creating the conditions for a continuous evolution, transformation and attainment of aspirations.”

She mentioned that she would strongly prefer to use the word “mutually transforming power.” In this respect, leadership is “being able to take up and embody and enact mutually transforming power in service of the whole and the purpose.” It is not about “a good-to-great kind of humanist perspective,” but rather an endeavor “to embrace whatever is coming in, whatever interaction” in a way that demonstrates the “ability to respond to that reality in a way that really doesn’t leave anyone behind.” In her view, “at times a manager has to lead, and at times, a leader has to manage,” but she no longer believes in management in the way that it has been traditionally understood in terms of efficiencies. She discussed how management is not “sustainable or an effective mode” in our current context where there is a significant degree of “complexity” that can no longer be reduced “into efficiencies.” According to Irini, management attempts to “reduce the complexity of things,” and though perhaps relevant “under conditions of a fire,” it may not be useful in conditions of serving a greater purpose beyond “consumer capitalism.”

As a result, Irini does not teach management. Furthermore, as an “evolutionist” and a

“developmentalist,” she is “very critical of a management paradigm” and aligns with the

165 discourse that tries to move beyond the managerial frame of reference. Nevertheless, as she herself tends to “move away from performance and management discourse,” she also recognizes that this may be the “strength” of her other faculty colleagues and acknowledges their contributions.

Coming out of the field of conflict resolution and international law and influenced by black feminist theory and literature during her undergraduate studies, Irini started to explore women in leadership and became particularly interested in the issue of “voice” and how to “take up” voice in the exercise of leadership very early on in her career and leadership development work. Subsequently, she worked with young women in

Southeast Asia to help them “cultivate a voice,” “have a voice,” and “take up the role of influencer,” as they transitioned from secondary school to college in a cultural context where “women’s voices were not privileged in the same way as men, and yet women were expected to participate and perform in society.” These experiences were formative for Irini, and they were her early steps into the field of leadership as she “self-taught” skills in conflict resolution, facilitation, and critical thinking to help women grow in their leadership capacities.

In the course of her leadership development work with women, and prior to her doctoral studies, Irini read leadership literature of that time where she began to notice inherent gender biases in what was emphasized as leadership. According to Irini, the leadership trait theories at the time were “all about the emulation of a particular type of man.” This generated strong reactions for her as she shared how she disagreed with and

“hated everything” she was reading. She then started exploring a different approach that emphasized “voice and influence” in leadership as she described: “In early days,

166 leadership was, you are born a leader and you’re usually white and slightly fat and have somehow gotten up to the top. Like the pyramid structure. And so, all the work that I was doing was on the grass roots, breaking those paradigms and really asking different questions.” As she began to explore different approaches and design “innovative programming” for leadership development, she decided to pursue her doctoral studies in adult learning and leadership. Moreover, it was during her doctoral studies that Irini started to move even further “away from the conventional notions of management and leadership” and instead “look at learning as the kind of heart of growth and development and influence.” Along this path, she described how she “shaped” and “reshaped” herself as she studied complexity and explored how others in leadership education facilitated a kind of engagement and learning for people to “grow voice and influence” both at an individual level and at a systemic and societal level where organizations and systems would be “mediators” of such spaces.

Along and since her dissertation journey, Irini also discovered how to tie her academic research and teaching to her artistry of performance where she was able to

“liven up” and “perform” the theories of adult development she was trying to teach. For example, with complexity in her own journey and developmental range, she has seen how she would be able to act out and “exaggerate” different character and developmental capacities “as a way of being educative” and help someone consider and connect to that

“exaggeration” to understand theories. This provided the “opening” for her to integrate her art of performing into her teaching and demonstrate “a range of learning approaches.”

In this respect, according to Irini, “performance has become a very generative tool” as she tries to create conditions for her students to “take up more complex ideas, in a way

167 that they can mitigate the risk of the idea.” Here, she creates “generative spaces” where students learn and “play with” ideas of leadership and development “in unique ways.” In such spaces, content matters less than what students would actually experience in the classroom, and what they experience may also be transformative. She mentioned: “If I can create a generative space, it doesn’t matter what I’d drop into that space, as long as it’s generative and authentic and there’s a way of a full person, whole person being there than the learning is going to happen. I could teach tap dance and yeah, it will be transformative.”

Irini teaches leadership, adult learning, and adult development courses embedded in “a program whose emphasis is on developing the capacity to lead change.” In this context, capacity is examined from the lenses of learning, leading, and organization along both theoretical and methodological lines. From this perspective, and in her leadership teaching, Irini explores “change” from the frame of “learning” and how learning affects change on individual, organizational, and societal levels. These three levels of exploration are integrated into all of her courses whether it be a theory course or an applied, experiential course. As explicitly stated in the syllabi she shared with me,

“inquiry and dialogue” are the methods through which students would learn and “enact” their course purpose, which is tied to learning and change in some way. For example, one syllabus referred to doctoral students as “agents of change, facilitators of learning, leaders of systems” even as they may “possibly enter the academy,” while another syllabus referred to students as “adult educators and leaders of change” and encouraged them to “engage in a living inquiry into the process, promise, and potential of transformation and generativity.” Irini also makes her intentions around “learning,

168 growth, and development” clear as she seeks to “to create a strong holding environment” and “the conditions” for students to “develop [their] capacities as scholars and practitioners.” Within this space, the holding environment is not something that she would create alone as she states “together” they “will be responsible for each other’s learning” and up to all in the class to “create the conditions” for “deep learning” to take place alongside capacity growth. In addition to academic teaching at her current institution, Irini has “partnered” with her students to facilitate and conduct workshops and inquiry groups in various organizations, including the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Pentagon. In these settings, similar to her courses, Irini mentioned that “inquiry” is her “pedagogic wand” and the tool she primarily uses to facilitate learning and development on “multiple different levels.”

Irini teaches a leadership course that involves “deeper interior explorations” through self- and interpersonal inquiry. This requires “a lot of vulnerability” from students as well as the instructor. As vulnerability is understood and viewed as “a core capacity for leader formation,” students work alone, in dyads, and in groups to engage in inquiry on individual, interpersonal, and systemic levels. In the class I observed, Irini shared and used her lived experience of childhood sexual abuse and divorce to explain the concept of transformative learning. She was modeling vulnerability as she shared openly and honestly about her transformative experiences and asked students to also relate their lived experiences to the theory. Her sharing seemed to open up a space for students to also be vulnerable as some students shared their own stories of trauma and pain and how navigating through such experiences became a transformative journey for them. Students shared in pairs and triads and as a whole class with Irini’s facilitation. I

169 could hear the emotions in people’s voices as they conveyed their disorienting and disruptive experiences and reflected on what they learned from them.

Utilizing a variety of resources from books, articles, media, cases, and reflective tools to their own lived experience, students in Irini’s class learn how to “diagnose” a systemic challenge as they “form their interior capacities” to address the challenge. Here, they build and grow “capacity for voice and influence internally” all in the “context of change.” No matter what the course, Irini always explicitly states in her syllabi that her

“primary job” or “goal” is for students “to learn and grow.” Following the course, students have provided feedback “that they have come to understand themselves as a leader in a way that they never before had,” which conveys to Irini shifts in how students perceive and understand themselves with “deeper dimensions of self-awareness” and recognition of their “blind spots.” In addition, students also learn to distinguish “inquiry and advocacy; problem solving and learning,” which are important in the exercise of leadership where “a problem to be solved” must be differentiated from “a challenge that requires learning.”

Even in Irini’s leadership theory course, students will learn and grow as they are required to facilitate “learning experiences” for the class and engage in role plays. In this course, Irini mentioned how she would “do some lecturing” and “do a lot of performance.” With “little mini performances,” Irini described how she performed “to make fun of a lot of leadership theories” as well as help students “very quickly” understand the essence of a concept of theory without having to “talk it all the way” through lectures. Here, the “performer” in Irini is explicit as she literally engages in a theatrical performance in front of her students. In other classes, the performer may be

170 more implicit, though actively present for Irini. In this respect, she described how she would “shift” things according to the “vibes” in the room and “play with the dynamics” in the room. According to Irini, “the performer changes her mind all the time” and “is always looking for what’s going on” as she constantly reads “the energy in the room” and plays “with the repertoire of tools” she has to keep her audience engaged. She also discussed how the performer shows up in how she teaches and shows up in classroom.

She described:

I’m extremely transparent. I bring a lot of myself. I bring all of myself into the classroom. I don’t hide. I’m vulnerable. I’m angry and my whole range of emotions, I’m confrontational. I’m tender. I think in that sense the performer in me can do that. Cause I have access to my emotions, and I have access to myself. And I think that’s been my strength. The strength is that more and more, I’ve, maybe we can say this, I’ve not performed myself. I have just been myself. (Irini)

When asked whether she intentionally integrates her artistic experiences, skills, ways of viewing the world, and ways of being in the world as an artist with her teaching, Irini mentioned that it started out as more unconscious as the “performer was also a protector for a while” and became more conscious as she started “owning,” “recognizing,” and

“integrating” the performer in her and “not holding her back” as she once did. This has also influenced the way she interacts with students, which has “evolved” and “shifted” over time. Perhaps when the performer was in the role of protecting, she “used to lead with conflict” and enjoy confrontation. She mentioned how she “used to be a bit of a bully” in that she “demanded submission” around “the melting of the walls” in her students until she came to realize that “for some students those walls are really just like

[her] performer [was] a wall.” Recognizing the importance to respect certain boundaries as she gently challenges and passionately catalyzes, she has come to realize that she “can only catalyze so much out of conflict” and now, she considers herself more “relational.”

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Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

Irini encourages artists teaching their first leadership course to “be your artistry” and not to “perform” it – to “be the artist” who would “foreground art” and “be the art” over the “teacher artist” who may “background art” and use art solely as “the tool or the skill or the methodology.” In this regard, she advises the artists to “use your artistry, whatever form it is, to take up your role as an academic, as an educator, as a teacher, as a facilitator.” Over the course of her journey, Irini has realized that the more authentically she “becomes” an artist, the more impact she has as an educator irrespective of the content of her teaching. She mentioned a meaningful lesson she learned from her own experience: “My lesson is the more I become the performer, the more generative and catalytic I become as an educator, as a facilitator, as a leader of any subject. In a humorous way, she mentioned that she “could just teach anything now” as she has come to better understand her purpose as an artist.

For Irini, the purpose of her art is “to catalyze” people. Before she discovered clarity around this purpose, she described prior anxieties around teaching and possessing sufficient expertise to teach, especially early on in her teaching career when she may have viewed things as more fixed. Now into her 50s and embracing of herself as a

“performer” artist, she sees continual growth and evolution in what she is able to offer as an educator. She mentioned:

I was so worried, “Oh, do I know enough to teach? Do I know enough?” Now it’s about like, my knowledge base is whatever, that’s going to continue to grow forever, like really being, becoming and being, coming from that depth and place as … my performer is my soul. We now figured that out after 50 years of life. That’s what the world wants, needs. (Irini)

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Before this time, Irini mentioned that “everything else was a different kind of performance”—a performance where she was “was performing myself before.” Now she is just “performing,” where she “is” the artist and is “being” her artistry rather than performing it. It is a natural part of her, and it is from this place of integration and authenticity that creates a generative space for anyone who is in her presence.

Back in the classroom I observe, Irini has made several provocative statements that initially seemed to surprise some students. Perhaps Irini is trying to help students move out of their heads and break down their guarded politeness into what is real and raw. She shares openly about experiences of betrayal and trauma as well as exploration and growth as she asks students to reflect on a time in their lives when they were on the verge of transformation or actually transformed—not merely resulting in a shift in perspective, but a fundamental change in how they made meaning. She expresses how she wants students to learn by “feeling” and “experiencing” the concepts they are learning “emotionally and interactively,” and not just intellectually—to “relate” themselves to the theory. Students break up into pairs and one triad to share their stories and reconvene back in the room. I see them engaged and attentive to one another and sense something emerging. One student shares that she is still transforming and trying to determine what reorder looks like for her as she feels anger and rage but is certain that she cannot go back to who she was three months—or even a week—ago. Other students also share their journeys. As Irini facilitates, she discusses how change can only happen when the heart is in the process. In the three hours she and her students are together, a sacred space has emerged where hearts are engaged. The protective walls are no longer there. The “performer” in Irini is no longer her “protector.” Sharing from the depths of

173 her heart, the performer in Irini as well as the educator are no longer “roles,” but who she has become and continues to become. And in the “generative” space of her presence, her students discover who they have become and who they are becoming in a continuous journey of change.

Baila: “Integrative Mover”

I first met Baila through a friend. My friend and I were pulling together materials for a research grant for a project we were pursuing that explored aesthetic engagement as a way to enhance leadership capacity for conflict resolution. My friend took Baila’s somatics leadership development course, which offered a “whole body” approach to leadership and development. My friend found Baila’s course to be a transformative experience and mentioned Baila’s dance background and way of teaching. My friend felt

Baila could offer helpful insights and point us to resources and conferences we could attend, and we reached out and scheduled coffee with Baila. The three of us had an encouraging conversation as Baila and I discovered our mutual passion for the arts and dance, including taking dance classes at the same studio. That one coffee led to Baila and

I meeting up regularly to have many more coffees and see a dance show. As a way of introducing me to somatics and learn what it was, she offered a few private two-to-one somatics sessions with her former student who was also an artist and then invited me to participate in a few more somatics workshops she informally conducted among groups of four to ten. I also invited her to facilitate somatics workshops and introduced her to friends and colleagues teaching leadership. I felt that our mutual interests and passions

174 generated a lot of synergy, and it was exciting to get to know Baila, her journey, and her work.

Participating in Baila’s somatic sessions was transformative for me as they helped me become more aware of how I showed up in different interactions and situations— from communicating what is important to me to making a request—and how I responded to stress and conflict. In one somatic session, Baila observed how I was leaning back as I was trying to communicate what was important to me to my partner in the exercise who gently exerted pressure. She shared what she saw and asked how many times I “bend over backwards” in relationships and shy away from asserting what I want and need and advocating for myself, especially under pressure. With prior experiences of abuse and trauma, my cultural and gendered upbringing and values as well as general roles I tended to take on in groups, it was an accurate and powerful insight. The revelation shifted my perspectives and started to shift how I habitually reacted and responded in both personal and professional relationships, especially under stress and pressure. Baila and I continued to talk as I continued to participate and learn in her somatics sessions. Over the next several months and few years, within which I dropped dance classes as a result of physical injury and academic pressure, I continued to reflect on what “I” wanted to do and gave myself permission to start taking studio art classes as part of my doctoral studies to continue engaging with art. With the artistic longings I had since childhood, and with the support of mentors, friends, and family who also discovered this new side and part of me, I finally allowed myself to emerge, embrace, blossom, and be known as an artist. This in turn has helped me experience more joy and freedom in work as well as more wholeness in life and relationships.

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From coffee to movement, from interviews to touch, I feel that I have been using all my senses to learn from Baila. In the somatics workshop I observed of Baila’s teaching, we were in an open space on the ground floor of a dormitory with sofas and chairs around moved against the perimeters of the room. With large windows to see the colors of the evening change as the sun went down, the space invited a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. I had just been a part of a different workshop just before in the same space and introduced to Baila a colleague from that workshop who happened to mention her interest in body awareness to me right during that session and as we were transitioning out of the space for Baila’s somatics workshop. It was a last-minute, spontaneous invitation, and Baila graciously allowed my colleague to join the group.

This fortuitously evened out the number of participants and made it easier for us to learn in pairs. The group convened, and we started out with introductions and an exercise to move and get our bodies loosened up. We then shared how we felt both before and after the exercise. One participant shared how he felt a knot in his stomach. Our sharing as a group helped us become more aware of our bodies as I too noticed the knot I was feeling with mixed feelings of being in a room with people I did not know and expectations to be vulnerable among strangers. After this opening, we moved into exercises in pairs, starting with communicating what was important to us, moving to making requests, and on to practicing declines. As each exercise unfolded, we observed each other’s facial expressions and discussed how comfortable we felt at different points and repetitions of the exercises. Baila shared her observations and offered feedback to each pair. For each exercise, we also observed and provided feedback to our partners. Through the exercises and repetitions, I felt different emotions from rejection to support and became more

176 aware of how I reacted to pressure, requests, and declines as well as how others experienced in the moment, and perhaps in general, my pressure, requests, and declines.

Baila also offered perspectives on how our reactions and ways of communicating through our bodies could also be culturally influenced. By the end of the session, we were no longer strangers. We were also more aware of ourselves and of each other. Such an awareness seemed crucial in the exercise of leadership. Throughout the session, Baila was moving as we all were moving. Based on my experience as a participant observer and what I heard from others in the group, movement integrated into our learning seemed to have generated personal growth and potentially transformation, shifting and opening up our minds and hearts to be more authentic and vulnerable with one another in community as well as more “whole” in our approach to leadership. To me, moving seemed like dancing. In this respect, I was able to see how arts and leadership teaching— how artist and educator—integrated to foster growth and development, even learning that was transformative, among the adults who participated and sought to be more effective in leadership.

Earlier this year, Baila and I met at a school library to conduct our first interview and met again in the lobby of her apartment a few months later for our second interview.

For the second interview, we initially planned to meet at her favorite neighborhood coffee shop where we celebrated her birthday a few years ago among her family, friends, and colleagues. Despite the pleasant memories and the cup of coffee I just enjoyed before

Baila arrived, it was not an ideal venue for an interview with loud music playing in the background and the shop owner’s policy to ban laptops from being used in his space. As an alternative, we decided to conduct our interview in the lobby of Baila’s apartment. It

177 was a short walk away on a sunny and cool autumn morning. We found and sat on a small bench in the corner of the lobby, which did allow for my laptop to record our conversation but was no more quieter than the coffee shop with the sound of people walking by, elevators ringing and doors opening, and doorman chatting with residents.

Nevertheless, it was full of life, with pockets of stillness, and our presence did not seem to interrupt the natural rhythms of Baila’s neighbors and building community. Going with the flow of our meeting that day, I also found it interesting to be literally “moving” in the course of our interview. From the private, quiet space of our meeting room among studying students in the library to the open, bustling space of her apartment lobby, I could hear Baila’s passion and confidence in her work along with appreciation for her continuously unfolding journey as an artist-educator.

The Artist-Educator

Baila was born in the Southeastern region of the United States before her family moved to a different state and city in the Deep South where her father started his residency as a physician. When she was five years old, her family moved to the

“Snowbelt” of upstate New York where they lived the rest of their lives until Baila and her sister each went to college, while their parents remained in their neighborhood.

Baila’s mother was an artist. She was also Spanish and grew up in various parts of

Europe, including France and the Netherlands. Right before World War II, she was on her way to the Sorbonne to study art until circumstances of the war led her and family to change direction. Well versed in four languages, she ended up working for a translator for a large oil company, after which she and her family immigrated to New York City.

She then went to college to become a lab technician and subsequently met Baila’s father

178 while working at a hospital. Baila’s father was a doctor and was not an artist, but he very much appreciated music. According to Baila, he had “more of a rational science mind,” and “music spoke to him in ways that he could not talk.” With the plethora of records he owned, or their family radio always cued to the classical music station, she grew up with the constant sound of classical music playing in their home.

Growing up and into adulthood, Baila was “always surrounded” by art and felt

“creativity” as one of her strengths. She also described the artistic influence of her mother whom she did identify as an artist. To Baila, her mother was “very artistic expressively” and used “a lot of emotion in the way she expressed herself” and “the way she spoke.” Her mother also “loved color” and “had this artistic way of seeing the world, seeing things,” which was “just the way she saw things.” From childhood, Baila grew up seeing her mother constantly drawing and doing sketches. She also remembers her mother as a skilled seamstress as she called how her mother would take Baila and her sister to the fabric store and have them pick out patterns as she matched them with colors and fabric for the dresses she would make for them. This “felt very artistic” to Baila as she mentioned the way her mother taught her how to “feel” the patterns, colors, and textures of clothing. Baila’s mother also loved going to art galleries, and their home was filled with works of art. Later in life, after Baila attended college, Baila’s mother started taking art lessons again with an art teacher in town and became interested in sculpture and Chinese watercolors. When Baila had children, her mother would also draw her grandchildren and draw for them, which Baila expressed as “the coolest thing” for them to experience. Baila still has her mother’s drawings and artwork at her home. As she reflected on the artistic influences of her mother, she expressed how her mother was

179 incredibly talented, but “never gave herself credit” as she would show Baila what she created and quickly brushed off compliments saying “Oh, that’s nothing.”

Baila’s appreciation for education and leanings as an educator were strongly influenced by her father. She mentioned that learning and education were “highly valued” in their home as her father, “as emotionally inexpressive as he was,” was “always learning” and “learning anything he wanted to do.” He did not want to take classes or learn from a teacher, but he enjoyed teaching himself by reading books. For example, he taught himself French and the cello, which he took a few lessons for and then practice on his own from there. Baila laughed as she shared an additional memory of her father building a bathroom by learning out of a book and being “so proud” of his accomplishment. For him, learning was empowering as he believed “You can do things.

You can learn how to do things, and then you can do them yourself, and be independent.”

According to Baila, learning was “probably the strongest value” for her family as they would take trips, explore different places and history, and “always learning something.”

For her family, learning had strong association with “freedom, independence, and self- sufficiency” and “any educational opportunity that [Baila and her sister] were interested in was always supported.”

In addition to exposure to art and learning from her parents, Baila mentioned how she “constantly read” as a way to “cultivate” her imagination as very few people lived in the countryside where she grew up. Along this journey, music and dance also became an integral part of Baila’s life. During her childhood and adolescence, Baila started dancing and took violin lessons when she was in fourth grade along with her sister who was in fifth grade. Her sister started playing the violin first and was “very good,” while Baila

180 felt “co-opted” into playing the violin for her family and teachers to see if she exhibited the same degree of gifting as her sister. Baila did enjoy playing the violin and felt it came “naturally” to her, but she also mentioned how she did not enjoy “the structure that was imposed” through violin lessons and disliked practicing. Nevertheless, she and her sister continued with violin lessons throughout high school and played in the orchestra.

When Baila was around 12 years old, she and her sister went to Interlochen music camp for violin. Here, she enjoyed playing in the orchestra but “hated” the way the program embedded competition. She recalled memories of “challenges” where students would be voted on and ranked to earn a certain chair in the orchestra based on how each of them performed a piece from a musical score. For Baila, “it was the worst,” and the experience “terrified” her. Baila and her sister still continued to play after music camp and often played duets in public.

Alongside the violin, Baila started dancing when she was seven years old and continued to dance throughout her childhood and adolescence. In her view, violin was her sister’s “thing,” while dance was hers and what she “really wanted to do.” At a very young age, even before she started taking dance classes, Baila mentioned how dance allowed her to express herself nonverbally, and how nonverbal expression through dance captured her viscerally with seeing and feeling, which was compelling to her even if she may not have been able to verbally articulate what she experienced in dancing. Baila started with ballet in childhood and took ballet all the way through high school. Growing up in a “small town,” ballet was her only option until she came to New York in high school and was introduced to modern and jazz. In college, she studied modern dance and continued on with jazz thereafter. She expressed how she found modern dance

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“unfulfilling” as it was “too linear” for her. She also studied jazz in studios and took courses with American jazz dancer, choreographer, educator, and innovator of jazz dance technique Eugene Louis Faccuito, widely known professionally as “Luigi.” Eventually,

Baila started auditioning for shows in New York and joined her first show in Las Vegas and performed in several other shows from there. The shows were “pretty jazz-based” and eventually started a master’s program in counseling and educational psychology to consider going into dance therapy. After receiving her degree, she got married and had two children. As a result, she stopped performing and instead focused on counseling and psychology and explored dance therapy, including some coursework at the

Laban/Bartenieff Institute of Movement Studies, which she “really enjoyed.”

The Laban/Bartenieff Institute helped Baila find “language” and “meaning” for the “art of dance” as she realized that dance was “more than just performing.” Even if she loved performing, her learning at the institute helped her connect dance to

“something more universal” where everyone “moves,” beyond particular dance genres and regardless of prior experience in dance. Here, she was able to understand “what movement means and what different energies mean and how it is internalized” as well as how “the way we move means something” and how “we can use movement” to

“develop” how to feel, think, and perceive differently. She also continued to explore dance therapy through various programs and met a woman who was a pianist and also engaged in art therapy. They became good friends and colleagues as they started collaborating and working with kids to experiment with art and movement therapy.

Throughout her journey, Baila learned continuously and mentioned how important it was for her to stay connected to the arts as she always took a class whenever

182 she was able to or find other ways to keep learning and moving. She eventually got connected to Aikido and became certified as a somatic coach with the Strozzi Institute.

Baila still identifies as a dancer and considers her identity as a dancer a significant part of who she is. She continues to dance and take dance classes, though she does not currently perform. Baila’s sister is currently a music teacher in elementary school and continues to play the violin, while giving private lessons. Baila, on the other hand, laughed as she mentioned that she has her violin in her closet, but “haven’t touched it in years.” In addition to her sister as among artists in their family, Baila’s daughter is a film editor and getting more into videography.

Baila currently views her roles as artist and as educator as integrated, but she did not always see them as integrated. Before she started her doctoral studies, she viewed the roles of artist and educator as “very separate,” which seemed to be mirrored in the theoretical field of organizational learning and leadership that made an “explicit separation” between arts and leadership development. Such a bifurcation was also manifest in her own assumptions and fears, including fear that she would not be seen as a

“legitimate educator” if she was known as an artist. Coming from her own and frequent experiences as an artist, she assumed that she would not be taken “as seriously” and perceived as offering “something more superfluous” than essential if she allowed this identity to be known. In these respects, art was considered “an adjunct; an adjunctive part of life” and “something that not everybody can do, [but] only certain people do it.”

As such, “there was very little integration” in her mind at the time. In addition, she described prior experiences of learning as an adult in the classroom where she would be

“self-identifying as a dancer” and feeling marginalized or excluded as her classmates

183 laughed and expressed their discomfort with a project she conducted using Laban energies. She consequently became “very conscious” about not being “taken seriously” if she self-identified as an artist and “pulled back” frequently. Even in the initial stages of her doctoral dissertation work, she mentioned how she “consciously didn’t integrate” art and tried to pursue more “serious” topics, expressing to her sponsor that she preferred not to “be known as the crazy movement lady.”

Baila’s dissertation topic eventually evolved to exploring “the role of the body in leading and learning” through a somatic leadership development program as she learned to finally accept and integrate both parts of herself as an artist and an educator to pursue a topic that reflected this integration. After she graduated, she was invited to teach a leadership course based on her dissertation. She is now in the sixth year of her teaching.

Outside of her teaching, she has a private psychotherapy practice and conducts leadership development workshops for various professional programs. Having worked in different therapeutic settings and focusing on growth and development, Baila’s approach includes connecting body and movement to awareness, growth, and development. In this regard, she helps people see themselves as a system and uses a systems-based approach in teaching. Her practice also fosters self-awareness that can extend to other awareness. As such, she also explores awareness—speaking, acting, and presence—and how that enhances or limits ability to resolve conflict. Furthermore, she helps people become aware of inner conflict and how that exhibits itself, and where that came from, their narrative about the way the world is, and how that shows up in situations and in the workplace.

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As Baila was describing her journey to teaching her current course on somatics and leadership development, she recalled noticing how her review of literature and curriculum materials were about “being a decent human being” and how art and artists could help with that. In a context where the kind of leadership development that was known and valued was “cerebral” in the sense that it was something to “think about,”

Baila wanted to embrace and draw from her way of being as an artist to emphasize

“feeling” in leadership development. As she continued on with her approach, she noticed her own “artificial silos” around leadership and art, that she may have unconsciously absorbed and assimilated from the world around her, breaking down. In this respect, she realized that the silos no longer needed to exist for her and started integrating the two together. In her view, “artists at the heart are very interested and very connected with the human condition.” As such, art is “in a human expression” and is “a creative expression of who we are as human beings.” This sometimes can be “so raw” and “so emotive,” and yet these “are all the things that will connect us all as human beings.” Baila also expressed that she “never would have imagined” that she would “bring together” her

“love of dance” into a professional setting that focused on “performing” in leadership.

This has been incredibly meaningful and rewarding for her, and her course has generated a “really good reputation” among students.

Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

According to Baila, the arts “offers the opportunity to shift perspective.” In this respect, dance gave her a way to “shift a way of being” and “to be different” in ways she never would have expected. If it weren’t for music or dance, she was “fairly certain” that she would “have remained just purely shy, limited, fearful, a much more fearful person in

185 the world.” Baila described how she grew up in a “fairly restrictive” environment. In this context, music and dance gave her a “vessel” and a “vehicle” to realize that she did not have to think or be as constrained or restrained as she grew up. For Baila, “the expansiveness that art encourages” allowed her to become “more open and creative.”

Moreover, the experience of art, with dance specifically, help her realize that she “didn’t have to stay between, within, in the lines.” This also helped her with teaching.

Baila recalled a time in the earlier stages of her career when she asked to teach an education course for teachers at a university. For this course, she “stayed within the lines” and taught her course “in a very traditional way” focusing on theory and how to test ideas in a conventional way as she tried to transmit knowledge that she thought her students needed to know. This to her, however, was “horrible” as it was “so unsuccessful” and “so boring.” Overtime, as Baila “developed” and became more involved and invested in embodied learning and somatics, and more embracing of the arts, she became more confident as she discovered that she “could teach in a different way that was more engaging.” In contrast to her previous experiences, this approach allowed her to be “more resourceful” and open up a more collaborative space where she and her students would learn together. Here, she gained the “inner confidence” to be

“willing to not know” even if she had expertise and relieve herself of the pressure where she “didn’t have to walk in and have everything work out perfectly” or feel “threatened” by questions. Instead, she could remain grounded and curious in her students and what they already know and bring into the classroom.

Baila mentioned that students “know more than they think they know,” and

“know more than we give them credit for” as teachers. As such, she sees her job as

186 drawing out from students and helping them understand what they do know, even if they were not aware of that before. In this regard, “being an artist” helped Baila recognize and draw out the potential and knowledge of her adult students. This shifted the paradigm of teaching to emphasize experience in learning. In contrast to how her students may have learned in childhood where they were “supposed to learn all this content and sit there and absorb it and take a test and then go out and get a job,” which is “limiting” and “not what they’re capable of,” Baila instead emphasizes “growth and development” and experience.

She also mentioned how this mirrors her own journey of growth and development. In her words: “I think it gives my journey of learning experientially that I’m capable of much more. And I want my students to feel like that. That they’re capable of much more. And even if they don’t know it now.”

When I asked Baila how her personal learning journey with art has influenced her view of herself as an educator and teaching, she responded by saying that if I had asked her this question twenty years ago, she would have said she was “really not a very good teacher.” She has taught various subjects in different settings, including as a counselor working with foster parents. In these settings, though she may have included a few creative activities here and there, she “still felt much more limited” in terms of her anxieties. Excessively trying to make sure she told her students “everything they need to know,” and she did not have her own “confidence” in what she already knew and her capacity to access what she knew. Because of art and integrating artistic expression into her teaching, she now considers herself a “hugely better educator” than she has “ever been before.” According to Baila, “everything about art is to be curious and to be open and generate ideas and not believe that there’s one way within a certain context.” In this

187 respect, bringing art into leadership development has helped her grow personally as it has helped her see multiple possibilities and has improved her teaching.

In addition to improving her teaching, Baila has become more comfortable taking risks and accepting that some things may work, while some things may not. With a more experimental mindset to try things, she is no longer worried about her performance and making sure whatever she plans to do is successful, and more present to the experiences in the classroom. This may also be useful in leadership as she described:

I’m a way better educator. And the other part of that, I guess, the art is not just all this theory, it’s an actual experience, right? That the discussions and the conversations are much richer, and I really enjoy that, and I want students to feel that … To go outside of their comfort zone. And as a leader, even if they make mistakes, it’s gonna be okay and they can try things. (Baila)

Baila mentioned that she gets a lot of feedback from her students saying that they never knew they could do what they experienced with art in the classroom. She exclaimed how personally it was “thrilling” to be able to bring her worlds of art and education together and see her students impacted in a positive way.

As a final example of a transformative experience with art, Baila shared memories of taking dance classes seven years ago at the same studio that she used to go to thirty years ago in her twenties. She described how the studio “smelled the same” as she walked up the stairs and how the studios and floors were all “still the same.” She “dared” herself to take a class after several years away from dance classes. The day she arrived in the studio, she was initially signed up for ballet, which ended up being cancelled last minute. Rather than leaving the studio, she agreed to take a musical theater dance class held at the same time for the same price. It turned out to be an unexpected encounter for

Baila. She recalled how much she loved her first experience in the class, which “blew

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[her] mind.” She further expressed: “I mean everything, every feeling of being home, of being like, I love this, I loved the music, I loved the moving, and I was in my fifties, and it was just awesome to me that I could do that.” Baila laughed as she mentioned how walking into the studio that day brought up “all these embodied memories” for her and stirred up confidence to dance again. She has been going to dance classes regularly since then and described how the experience shifted her perspective on dancing. She expressed: “Wow. I’m back here, I’m gonna do this. I can do this again, and I started to go take classes really regularly, and what was different about it was… as opposed to before when I used to take classes for performance, like I’m trying to perform, this was just for me.”

Teaching Leadership

To Baila, leadership is “a way of being.” Moreover, effective leadership entails

“the ability to be open and curious and nonjudgmental” in whatever circumstance. In this respect, she has come to understand “leadership development” as “self-development” and teaches embodied leadership from this perspective. This understanding is also embedded in her “passion of humanizing” as she tries to “humanize the workplace” and “humanize therapeutic settings” where leadership is not just “some role that you put on.” In this endeavor, the purpose of Baila’s course is to “connect theory and practice” she has designed a “highly experiential course” that fosters for students “a personal journey of understanding themselves better” and “how they can actually become the leader they want to be from the inside out.” As such, she tries to help people access “what’s going on below their head and their neck” while also offering “cognitive candy” that weaves in leadership literature, concepts, and current best practices in leadership in the workplace to

189 help connect theory and practice. According to Baila, experience in the classroom is essential in connecting theory and practice. For example, when students learn global leadership concepts such as resiliency or collaboration, they must be able to “blend” theory and practice by experiencing them. Baila mentioned:

These concepts that people are talking about, how to be resilient … how to be collaborative … Those are not ideas … And how to do that comes from the inside. So if you don’t have the capacity internally to feel okay being collaborative, if you’re embodied experiences is that doesn’t feel right, doesn’t feel good, it feels threatening, whatever. You won’t be able to do that no matter how much you want to. So the purpose for me is to blend those together so that theory and practice are not separate. (Baila)

According to Baila, “the experiential piece is critical” in learning. As such, students in her course may not engage in any assessments or tests, but they do journal “quite a bit” and in a “pretty rigorous” way as they read leadership theory and movement literature that explains how the body can be used to connect to emotions, thinking, and behavior.

Moreover, Baila wants her students to “constantly be reflecting on what they’re experiencing” both in and outside of the classroom. For the final assignment, students can choose to do a project that entails some kind of embodied or somatic learning in a work and organizational setting. By the end of the course, Baila mentioned that the students would have “felt experiences” of what they were learning and “a ton of more information about themselves.” As such, they come out of the course with “self- awareness,” translating into “other awareness” as well as “awareness of our shared humanity.” They also develop “awareness of different cultural shaping” as they see, feel, hear, and reflect back “how different cultures and different shaping experiences impact people.” Here, experience is central to learning as “what people experience so

190 powerfully is that they feel it from the inside.” This is what art does, too as Baila mentioned:

[Students] get an experience in every single class of how they as a human being are as a system and levels of playing field between … which I think art does too. That we’re all, all human … I think it really brings our common humanity together and people understand, “Well this is what it’s like for me. Whoa, what’s it like for that other person?” And that felt experience of compassion and openness and curiosity ... Yeah, that I think you can’t teach in books. (Baila)

The methods Baila uses are “body practices” or “movement practices” that connect to a leadership concept. As such, the classroom is set up with open space for movement as she moves around with her students and demonstrates an exercise that they will practice and process as a group. In this space, she dismantles her role as the “expert” and tries to

“level out the power dynamic” by fostering an environment where she and her students are learning together. Learning in this space is “very interactive” and “very in the moment” where she would give feedback to students “in the moment.” Sometimes her feedback may not be well received, and some students would “really pushback” and “get really activated” in their resistance. In such situations, Baila mentioned the importance of modeling—of being “very grounded” and “walking [her] talk” as she models what they are discussing and learning. Furthermore, she hopes to have her students

“experience” her “as being open and engaged and connected” if they are learning how to

“be curious and nonjudgmental” in leadership.

In her teaching, Baila also looks to art as “a way of creating wholeness.” As such, she views the somatic experience in leadership development as “being able to help people heal through art,” which includes healing “through “artistic processes and through unconscious processes” because that is what people can “tap into.” According to Baila, this is “so powerful and so healing” and leadership development is to “see people being

191 able to heal.” Along these lines, the somatic experience that Baila fosters in her course includes the mind, body, and spirit. Baila mentioned that people don’t always understand it and automatically resist at first given the huge emphasis on cognitive ways of knowing in learning. Nevertheless, she described how students leave her course with transformative self-awareness, understanding of self and other, the ability to take different actions, enhanced listening, better communication, openness, changed worldviews, and improved relationships. Moreover, she mentioned that anyone can use this approach, including those who have experienced trauma and abuse. Baila also integrates martial arts with her teaching and therapy sessions to help people resolve conflict within themselves and with other people by helping them understand misalignment internally or relationally and how to reconcile it with the ability to extend compassion and empathy in addressing that conflict. Drawing from her training in

Aikido, she has developed and teaches the practice of having compassion—holding a place of compassionate empowerment—and blending in harmony with somebody who is attacking you. In this context, she helps clients learn how to take care of somebody who is attacking them, while they take care of themselves.

In the course of our interviews, Baila expressed how she never imagined she would teach art and leadership in an integrated way. It was not until she was “older” where she “started seeing an intersection of education and art as a learning medium.”

Before this time, she viewed “cognitive learning” and “art” as separate and at different sides of learning that would not intersect or integrate. This was also the general assumption people held in education as she shared her reactions to such siloed thinking.

She expressed:

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It’s always a shame to me that it gets siloed into like art’s over here, and it’s not really a part of educational systems. It’s the thing that gets shoved out a lot of time in education, it gets dropped, art and music as an adjunctive thing, which is just ridiculous. It’s sad. (Baila)

For Baila, art is “the expressive part of yourself,” and “putting them together” with “art as learning, art as development, creativity” has been “an iterative process” for Baila.

This journey has been “very profound” and “hugely meaningful” to Baila as she was able to integrate her interest and desire “in how people can learn and change, grow and change, and not be limited to the way you are.” For this, Baila expressed how she is very

“grateful” to “get to this place” where work can “speak” to her “in every way” and in

“every experience.” She also mentioned the influences of her mother: “Seeing my mom as an artist, and how that was part of her identity, that was part of how she saw the world, how she experienced the world, and bringing that to other people gives me a lot of satisfaction.”

Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

To artists teaching their first leadership course, Baila encourages them to “believe that what art has given them, their experience of art, what it’s given them, is very legitimate.” In this regard, they must “believe that it works,” and “believe in the power of art as a learning process.” For Baila, believing in the power and value of art in learning seems to be the first and foundational step in teaching leadership. From this belief, Baila suggests reflection on what they themselves have to offer. In her words:

“Take time to access what art is for you, what the particular art is, what your beliefs about it are, what your experiences have been that have informed you, what you’re passionate about and convey that.” Baila then encourages artist-educators to “live into”

193 what they are learning, “trust themselves,” and “not be afraid to take risks.” In her view, artists are intuitively aware of how the creative process involves risk taking and can “tap into” this process to explore possibilities, take risks, and “just try things.”

Baila also emphasizes moving away from siloed thinking around art as something that is “separate” and only relevant and beneficial to artists. According to Baila, art is

“not just only for some people,” but “part of life.” As such, the artist-educators must also move past their own bifurcated thinking and integrate art in teaching, believing that art is not just valuable to artists, but to everyone. As such, they must “model art, whatever art, as an important and integral way of experiencing life.” They must also come out of the

“silo of well, I’m an artist and I don’t know.” Both understanding and helping others understand that “we’re all artists in a way,” Baila suggests that artist-educators to frame art in their classrooms as “something that not only certain people do,” but something students could engage with even if they do not feel that they “know” how to do on a technical level. Moreover, it would be an opportunity for them to express themselves and

“tap into whatever emotional experience that medium can bring out, or brings out, in that moment.”

According to Baila, “leadership is an art.” It is a “living art” and “not a thing that you learn about.” In this respect, experience in the classroom is key to learning, and every experience matters. She mentioned: “Nothing’s too small, no experience is too small. It doesn’t have to be a huge aha moment, but every experience someone has in working with art, or some movement, is a learning moment, is an opportunity for growth and development.” In this respect, she advises the artist-educators to “finely tune” themselves to “look for” and be aware of such moments as “there will always be some

194 connection in every moment, in every experience that’s happening, with something.”

Moreover, process is just as important as the outcome in learning. As such, leadership development also involves noticing the process in what is observed in learning and giving feedback to students that would help them connect what they are learning and help them grow.

Though experience is central to learning, experience alone is insufficient as Baila stated: “It can’t just be that people are just experiencing stuff. There has to be a way to codify it to then understand it.” In this respect, people may find an experience at a training enjoyable and even fascinating, but it may be effective or lead to growth if they do not know how to connect and apply it to what they are doing. For Baila, “connecting experience with cognitive knowing” is “extremely powerful” and helps experience and knowing become more “integrated” rather than separate. Experience must also be connected to theory to make theory useful and relevant. She further mentioned:

You have to always make it practical, always bring it back to something that’s relevant so to get it out of the theoretical … I mean, that’s the world we live in, right? It’s not a theoretical world, it’s an experiential world, and perspective. So, putting those together, I guess, that’s what I find extremely powerful. (Baila)

Along the lines of helping people make sense of what they experience, Baila mentioned how she had “an advantage” in some respects as she had already been an “educator” before she started teaching leadership with art. From this perspective, she encourages artists who may not have prior training as educators to get training and develop skills in planning and designing experiential lessons, framing the exercises, and structuring the class to meet learning goals. Here, an understanding of adult learning theory would also be helpful in informing how to scaffold learning and plan lessons accordingly.

Furthermore, she advises artists teaching their first leadership courses to “get some

195 support from other artists, from people who’ve done it before.” Throughout the process,

Baila encourages artist-educators to “have fun” and “to enjoy it.”

Back into the workshop I observed of Baila’s teaching, I saw Baila living out her advice to artists teaching their first leadership course. Her workshop took place at the end of the semester when levels of pressure and stress were high among students. To recruit participants, Baila sent a group of students and practitioners an invitation:

Come “get out of your head” and reconnect with the intelligence of what’s below the chin, reinforce old practices and build new ones in a friendly, supportive community of practitioners. A perfect way to tap into your natural resilience and resourcefulness in the run up to semester’s end! (Baila)

The invitation seemed to go against the grain of the current around us with final papers and exams to complete and prepare for. Yet, my heart was curious and drawn to tap into the resilience and resourcefulness that I needed and was desperately hoping to find.

Perhaps the knot in the stomach I felt at the beginning of the workshop also came from my anxiety around finals. The “rowing” and movement we engaged in at the onset of the session released tension from my body and loosened me up to be “present” to what would take place in our time together. As we experienced and engaged in each of the exercises, one of the participants was elated as he shared how the exercise was illuminating for him.

He expressed how somatic learning is a “robust” approach, and the 90 minutes we shared together indeed reflected a robust approach. I too discovered new insights and subsequently explored new and different ways to “show up” in relationships and situations, which have been incredibly helpful in my personal and professional life.

Throughout the session, I saw Baila very present and attentive to each person and each pair in an exercise with inner confidence and deeply rooted passion. It felt like a dance class. At the end, we expressed that we were exhausted after all our exercises and hard

196 work but exhilarated and encouraged by what we experienced and learned together. And as I observed in Baila and others throughout our “dancing” and learning, we enjoyed, and we did have fun.

Stefan: “Communicator through Music”

I first met Stefan through a colleague who forwarded my email announcement to recruit participants. My colleague and I met at a leadership development master class on adaptive leadership that Stefan also took a different year, and we all shared both interest and experience in learning adaptive leadership and teaching it in varied contexts. After receiving my forwarded email, Stefan reached out to me and shared syllabi of leadership courses he taught or co-facilitated and two demos of his teaching, recorded and uploaded on YouTube. After several email exchanges, we finally decided on a time and date to conduct our interview via Zoom videoconferencing. Wearing black framed glasses and earrings in both ears, and a black gingham button down shirt, Stefan cheerfully greeted me on screen from his office at school to start our interview. In the background, I saw a keyboard and music scores, a small figurine of what looked like a superhero or Toy Story characters along his window, a printer and scanner, a magnetic whiteboard below a cork bulletin board with papers tacked on, and a full bookshelf with multicolored books below a wall of framed degrees, certificates, awards, and a drawing that looked like a flag of

California with signatures around it, among other items. From musical instrument and scores and figurines to awards and clerical supplies, his office seemed to suggest a multifaceted journey of varied experiences and multiple mediums and ways of teaching.

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The first video Stefan shared was an “early” teaching demo for an online leadership course he just started teaching this year. The first video, titled “What is

Leadership,” started with Stefan deconstructing conventional assumptions and understandings of leadership. He opened with the words:

So in order for us to make some progress on the most difficult challenges that the arts are facing right now, it’s important to first understand what we mean by the term leadership. Because this is often the word that gets thrown around as the solution for all of our problems in the arts. We just need good leadership. (Stefan)

After this opening, Stefan proceeded to express how “leadership” is a “loaded and challenging word” as it “means a lot of things to a lot of different people.” He then began to reframe leadership based on the principles of “adaptive leadership,” which he encountered and learned in his own journey of teaching leadership. In his short video clip, he distinguished “leadership” from “authority” and emphasized “leadership as an action” that can be demonstrated by any person at any point in time, as he also discussed the risks involved with exercising leadership. He used visual diagrams of “formal authority” and “informal authority” to further explain concepts and used repetition to emphasize ideas and concepts.

As Stefan shared this demo over email, he initially downplayed the quality of his teaching in the clip by expressing: “not my most dynamic to be quite frank.” I braced myself to see a monotone lecture of arcane concepts I could not relate to and was pleasantly surprised to see more dynamism than Stefan had initially suggested to temper my expectations. Though Stefan’s tone of voice and facial expressions may have been more reserved than how he may show up in the classroom, at least in the way he perceived it, Stefan’s passion for the topic of leadership as well as for teaching still

198 seemed to come through, especially in more nonverbal ways. For example, he was very expressive with his hands. Throughout the demo, with one or both hands, Stefan used different gestures to articulate and emphasize different points, even in sync with the syllables of each word or phrase. With each hand gesture, leaning into the screen at different points and making eye contact with the camera throughout the clip, I felt like I was in front of a choral or orchestral conductor. Moreover, as he was facing the camera, facing us, he looked like a conductor from the view of the performing orchestra or choir.

Having played in school orchestras and sung in choirs, and more recently having observed my mother conduct and teach her choir over the years, Stefan’s way of articulating points with his hands seemed familiar. I felt like I was a member of an orchestra or a choir he was conducting.

In the second video clip Stefan shared of his teaching online, he was wearing a black button-down shirt, as if playing in a music performance concert, as he interacted with two of his students who have never used Zoom before. His students admitted that it was their first time on Zoom when they signed on and laughed as he playfully greeted them with “Welcome to the future my friends.” As he invited his students to share their questions and aspects of learning they needed more “clarity” or “help.” The students seemed very comfortable opening up and being honest with their confusion and ways in which they felt “stuck.” He validated their questions and responded with more concrete examples from the artworld, including the kinds of experiences they may have in their professions and hobbies as well as his own experiences in the school of music, to illustrate concepts they were learning. Each student in the video conference as well as in discussion board that were not on the call discussed their challenges around

199 understanding individualized assignments. Stefan was attentive to each student’s background and project and provided tailored feedback, which the students expressed as helpful. The last few minutes of the clip that I observed ended with a discussion of diversity in the arts and accessibility, how the arts can be more accessible to artists and audience members who have disabilities, and examples of universal design where an artistic experience would be accessible to people of all abilities. Stefan shared his own journey of learning around this issue as an adaptive challenge from personal experience as an authority figure and offered to share articles and additional resources to help his students learn more about the issue of diversity and inclusion in the arts. In this video clip, Stefan continued to use his hands to communicate, articulate different points, and express different words throughout his online session. It was a musical way of teaching and communicating, even if what he was teaching or expressing was not music or explicitly related to music. Perhaps “conducting” is Stefan’s most natural way of engagement as both artist and educator. As a composer, he may communicate through a music ensemble or orchestra, never with his back to the viewing audience, but facing them with the message he wants to share through the music he creates. As a teacher, he in fact does communicate with artists, facing them and fully present to all who are in the room. As I observed Stefan’s leadership teaching in both video clips, I felt drawn into the material as if I was indeed playing an orchestra or choral piece—a song of leadership—as he encouraged peer learning and emphasized how everyone, no matter what position or form, had a role to play.

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The Artist-Educator

Stefan is a currently a composer and views composition as his “main creative outlet.” In his childhood and early adolescence, he mentioned how he grew up “in a family that was not artistic in any way, shape, or form.” His mother, though now retired, was a mergers and acquisitions lawyer, and his father was a contractor for several years before he went back to school and became a criminal lawyer. His family may have listened to music, but it was more in the “background” than a significant part of their lives. In middle school, Stefan started playing the electric guitar in rock bands. He laughed as he shared a memory of walking by a particular guitar store every day and one day wondering if “girls would like it” if he played the guitar and then convincing his parents to let him get guitar lessons as he started playing in rock bands.

When Stefan entered high school, he considered becoming a circus clown and seriously considered enrolling in Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College.

According to Stefan, he “really had no idea” what he was going to pursue in life at the time. His friend persuaded him to join the high school marching band, and then he also joined the school orchestra program. During this time, Stefan’s music teacher became

“this amazing sort of inspirational person” in his life and helped Stefan realize that he

“had some ability” in music and feel comfortable with music. Before this discovery,

Stefan mentioned that he was “socially awkward” and constantly felt like he was an

“outcast” in his adolescence until he “found music.” Music allowed him to feel a sense of belonging and community among “different types of people” with “no judgment” as everyone “all sort of needed each other to be successful.” In this respect, music helped him accept himself, and it opened up a career path in music. In his words: “It was the

201 first time I had sort of felt comfortable in who I was and what I was doing, and so, that set me on, towards, a career path.”

Stefan mentioned that he was the “worst performer” as he had “come to music so late in life” in comparison to his peers who started playing music since elementary school. Instead, he was a “big reader” and started reading a great deal about music theory and music history. As such, when he got to college, he may have been “the worst bass player,” but he was “the best theory student and history student.” Nevertheless, he enjoyed playing music, but realized that he was “much more passionate about actually trying to create.” He described how he would get inspired while playing pieces in orchestra or band and then “immediately go get the score of the music and start to analyze it” and attempt to “recreate it” in some of his own music. Soon after, he got connected to “a great composition teacher” who helped him “lay a foundation.” Stefan expressed how the “rest is history” as creating music became his “outlet to communicate things that were important to [him].”

Currently, Stefan is a tenured professor at his university in the Midwestern region of the United States. This is his second full-time faculty position after teaching at another university at another state on the west coast for three years. He has been teaching at his current institution for eight years and received early tenure in his fourth year based on evaluations of good teaching and awards he received. At his current institution, he was initially hired to teach music theory and music composition and eventually took on additional responsibilities as graduate coordinator and associate director, and more recently as director of the school of music where he created and designed a Master of

Arts degree program in Arts Leadership and Management. After a number of years into

202 his teaching, with additional administrative responsibilities as graduate coordinator and associate director, he unloaded one of his music theory courses and in place taught a general education course called Introduction to Fine Arts with a visual arts professor and a dance professor for three years alongside his other regular courses in music theory and music composition. Now, in his current role as director of the school of music, he does not have any classroom teaching requirements. Nevertheless, he continues to teach as he considers teaching his primary passion and identity. Today, he teaches an online course called Contemporary Issues in American Arts Programs, which is a required course in the

Master’s in Arts Leadership and Management program, and occasionally co-facilitates and coaches students in an experiential leadership course called Leadership in Self and

Society at a different college in the university.

From composing, Stefan’s “love of learning” is what brought him to teaching in higher education. The transition, however, was not as smooth or intuitive at first. Stefan laughed as he shared a “freak out” moment when he completed his doctoral studies and dissertation and told his wife that perhaps he “shouldn’t be a teacher at all” and “maybe go back to school and get a law degree,” wondering if that would help him make a

“bigger impact on the world.” He continued to laugh as he discussed how his wife talked him “off the ledge” and encouraged him to “maybe try teaching for a couple years,” and if it turned out he did not enjoy it, then to “talk about going back to law school.” He then mentioned that he was “very fortunate” to be hired to teach at a university immediately after and come to discover that teaching was what he was “meant to do.” As an educator,

Stefan considers himself a “teacher” at his “fundamental core.” In this respect, though he enjoys to “wear a lot of hats” with his multiple roles as composer and administrator, he

203 would always say that he “is a teacher” when asked “on an airplane” or “meets someone for the first time” what he does. As such, Stefan expressed that his “identity has always been wrapped up as a teacher first, and those other things sort of second and third.”

Stefan views his roles as artist and as educator “separate and intertwined.” His role as an artist has evolved a great deal over the last years. More recently, he has come to assume a social responsibility with his art. He mentioned: “I feel as an artist who creates, who writes original music, that I have a social responsibility to use my art to call attention to things that I feel are wrong in our society.” As such, in the last couple of years, he has written music that addresses varies social issues, including homophobia, antisemitism, and terrorism. He believes that artists have “a role” in addressing such issues and engaging others in such conversations that may help facilitate a change in perspectives. He mentioned:

I’m not naïve or egotistical enough to believe that someone’s gonna sit through a piece of my music and change their mind completely about something. What I do believe art is really great for is starting a dialogue. So you experience a piece of art that makes you have some sort of visceral reaction, ‘cause it will either reinforce your worldview or it will confront your worldview. And ideally, you’re gonna seek out the opposite kind of person, or you’ll be with someone who is having their own visceral reaction, and then that’s gonna spark a dialogue. So ultimately my hope is that my work sparks dialogue to make people talk about issues bigger than themselves. So that’s my role as artist. (Stefan)

Stefan’s view of art as sparking a dialogue or a “visceral reaction” that may force someone to confront their worldview could constitute transformative learning along both rational and nonrational lines of constructive discourse and expressive ways of knowing or at least the beginning phases towards a shift in perspectives and worldview.

Stefan referred to his role as an educator as “ultimately about helping students become critical thinkers.” This is what he considers his “end game” regardless of the

204 topic he is teaching. Whether it be courses in fundamentals of music theory or contemporary issues in American art, his goal is to give students “the tools to think critically about the world that they exist in.” As such, his roles as artist and as educator may be separate, but they “intertwine” when part of his role as artist is “to call attention to issues,” while another part of his role as educator is “to give students critical thinking skills to confront those issues” that they may experience. In this respect, even in technical courses, such as music theory, he would ask his students to think about their

“end game”—what they would do with the fundamental skills they may have mastered to make a difference.

Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

Stefan shared two different experiences with art that he believes were “probably two of the most impactful ways” that have “changed” him “as a human” as well as teacher and artist. The first experience with music was “one of the earliest” and “the most transformative” for him. He was 18 years old at the time and received his first lesson in music composition from a composer. Then a student in junior college, he did not have access to a composition program or faculty. As a result, Stefan asked his band teacher if he knew any composers with whom he could study. His band teacher mentioned that his next-door neighbor happened to be a “great composer” and provided his name. Stefan expressed his surprise as it turned out his band teacher’s neighbor was a very well-known composer in the San Francisco Bay Area. According to Stefan, this man was “an amazing composer,” and Stefan “couldn’t believe” that he let Stefan learn from him. They made an arrangement where Stefan would receive composition lessons in exchange for giving bass guitar lessons to his composition teacher’s son who wanted to

205 learn bass. For the first composition lesson, Stefan brought an orchestra piece that he wrote and started playing through it with his teacher when his teacher stopped and said:

“[Stefan], I am gonna be really honest with you.” His teacher then proceeded to say:

“This is not very good.” He quickly added: “You know, you’re trying to write this piece for orchestra, and it’s like asking a freshman English major to write a novel when they’ve never written a short story. We need to focus on some short stories.” Stefan laughed as he recalled this memory and expressed how it “hit him” deeply. “As someone who creates,” Stefan described how he felt like he was pouring his “soul” into his work, and to hear from someone—his teacher—that what he created was “not good” or “could be better” was jarring, yet impactful for his teaching as well as his work as an artist thereafter.

One lesson that came out of Stefan’s first experience with his composition teacher concerns the importance of “direct honesty” and “no sugarcoating” in his own teaching.

Stefan did not perceive his composition teacher’s honest feedback as “vindictive or mean,” but rather with “a lot of compassion” in the delivery. In this respect, Stefan recognized for himself, in his role as a teacher, that he does not need “to lie” nor “make someone feel good about something that’s not good.” He is mindful of how he may deliver honest feedback to his students and emphasizes that his “job is to teach them.”

As such, if just says “this is great, this is great, keep going,” he is “not actually teaching them.”

Another lesson that came out of Stefan’s first composition lesson experience concerns his approach to working as an artist. Here, he learned to be “far more self- critical” and “to not just be happy with the first thing that [he puts] down, but to actually

206 edit and revise, and [accept] it’s okay to be self-critical and say this is not [his] best work.” As he has learned the importance of constructive self-criticism, he has also

“learned to pass that on” to his students. To further explain, he referred to the author

Anne Lamott and her book Bird by Bird where one of her chapters is named “Shitty First

Drafts.” Along these lines, it is expected that the first draft of any work of art will be

“terrible” as “that is the point of the first draft” as “a beginning and not an end.” Stefan tries to impart the lessons learned from that first experience with his composition teacher on to his students. According to Stefan, what he learned from that incident had a lasting impact on his artistry and teaching. He stated: “That first experience was one of those transformative experiences that shaped me as an artist and as a teacher for the rest of my life.”

Stefan mentioned a second transformative experience that changed the way that he composed music, or at the least, “changed the music that [he] was composing.” This experience centered around a shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Florida, which was a gay club. Though he is not gay, he mentioned how he grew up with many of his mother’s friends who were gay men who became “father figures” in his life after his parents divorced. As such, when the shooting happened at the club, the event deeply impacted him and “hit” Stefan in way that moved him beyond knowing and recognizing that

“people were being mistreated for the way that they, who they, loved, or mistreated for what they believed” to being horrified by the “brutal mass murder” and moved to social action. As Stefan was following and reading some accounts of the event, he came across a newspaper article that described the police entering the club and having to “wear earplugs because everyone’s cell phones were going off” with family trying to reach their

207 loved ones to make sure they were “safe” and ok. As he reflecting on how the loud ringing of the cellphones could have been “deafening,” he thought about the idea that “at the end of the day, this is just about people trying to make sure that the people are safe,

[yet] also that these people would be forgotten [as] these names would, like we’re gonna remember who did this atrocity, but the victims are gonna be just victims.” In response, he composed a piece that he considers his “first real political work.” The piece does not have acoustic instruments and is composed for video and sound. The video “scrolls through each person’s name who was killed, and each time a name is scrolled through, a new cellphone ringtone is added” and “builds up into this cacophony of sound.” The video is about ten minutes long. Stefan recalled the first time he played the video at a concert where one of the audience members came up to him after the show and expressed that the video “was so powerful” because it “forced” the person “to sit and read each person’s name and think about that person.” Stefan mentioned that it was a transformative moment for him as an artist as he started to think about and write music that would have social impact. In his words: “That was a moment that was transformative to me as an artist, recognizing that my music could do something that would, greater than just getting you to tap your toes or escape for a few minutes, they could actually force you to confront some things.” In this respect, he also tried to pass this on to his students and help them know that “what they’re doing now can actually be transformative in somebody else’s life.” According to Stefan, “It’s got that power. Art has that power… more than anything else… art has this power to transform other people.”

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Teaching Leadership

Stefan defines leadership as “an activity” and “not a position.” Moreover, it is

“not a role that you have, it’s something that you do.” In this respect, leadership “is about engaging people and making progress on the difficult challenges we face.” This assumption around leadership is shared by the leadership center where Stefan has learned leadership and one that drives his own methodology and approaches to teaching leadership. Management, on the other hand, “is a position,” and “is authoritative” with its primary function to “manage people.” This could entail “getting reports done, making sure the budget is balanced, fundraising, [and] dealing with conflict.” As such, it is

“ultimately just the management of people and the management of an organization.”

Given these distinctions, Stefan pointed out the “biggest mistake” people could be making with the nomenclature used in organizations to refer to “the leadership” or “the leadership team” as if only people in those categories are exercising leadership.

According to Stefan, “leadership is this thing that we want everyone to be doing.”

Notwithstanding, there may also be people who may take this idea of leadership as a shared activity to the extreme and “get so far down the road” to “think that authority is totally useless.” In this respect, Stefan cautioned against binary thinking and asserted how both leadership and management are “necessary,” and that we “do need authority.”

In addition, “title is sometimes very useful” when decisions need to be made.

Stefan first came to learn leadership through the leadership academy his university established for faculty and staff. The academy selects participants through a nomination process, and four years ago, he was nominated by his dean and provost to be a fellow in the program. Though he was not sure whether his actions then were

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“considered leadership or not,” Stefan mentioned how he had “always been known as being sort of outspoken and passionate and not afraid to share” what he believed was working well and not working well at the university. The leadership academy was “very much framed around the same ideas” that leadership theorists Ronald Heifetz and Marty

Linsky were doing in adaptive leadership at Harvard. While some members of his cohort

“always identified themselves as leaders,” Stefan “jumped into” his learning at the leadership academy with the openness of a novice and an intuitive understanding as an artist. He laughed as he mentioned:

I came in saying, “I don’t know anything about leadership. I’m a composer. I’m willing to learn.” And I always joke, I drank the Kool Aid day one. It totally made sense to me. Because I think partly as an artist, you understand the idea of … [that] my art will only be successful if I can actually engage other people. (Stefan)

The leadership academy took place for a year. Stefan mentioned that he was “really just inspired by it,” and furthered his development in leadership taking additional courses at an affiliated leadership center and becoming certified as a coach. Eventually, he also received a grant from his university to attend an executive education program with

Heifetz and Linksy at Harvard and continued to be “pulled towards” the ideas of adaptive leadership, which he started integrating and replicating in his leadership teaching. He also mentioned how he resonated with the ideas “especially as an artist” who, along with other artists, “feels like they always have to advocate for why what we do is important.”

As such, he felt could apply the ideas and concepts and use them towards his “advocacy.”

As Stefan was about to share more details of his leadership, he first described some changes at the school of music. One change involved the creation of a new master’s degree program when the school started to explore the future careers of their

210 students. At the time, programs in the school were designed and set up to equip students who would “either go into teaching or into performing” as one of only “two paths.” Two years ago, the school came to a realization that there were many students who went in other directions, including managing nonprofit organizations. Recognizing a need for a different type of degree that encompassed a broader range of interests and career paths for students, Stefan designed and established the Master of Arts degree and program in

Arts Leadership and Management. This is the first year that the program has been running. He laughed as he admitted that it was “not a sexy title” but communicated that the name of the program reflects exactly “what it is” and what is offered. In this respect, the program is designed along the two components of “leadership” and “management.”

As such, “there are courses that focus on leadership skills,” while there are courses that focus on management, such as “strategic planning and fundraising… those things that

[students] need to know [with respect to] the business side of how arts work.” With the definitions and distinctions above, Stefan described how his online course on

Contemporary Issues in American Art Programs examines both leadership and management from the focused lens of the arts, while the course he co-facilitates on

Leadership in Self and Society is exclusively focused on leadership.

Stefan is the sole instructor for Contemporary Issues in American Art Programs, which is an online course. The course is designed in eight modules, which includes discussion boards and Zoom meet ups that Stefan organizes and facilitates. Though online teaching is “not [his] favorite method [or] mode of teaching,” Stefan mentioned that this format has “worked for this class.” In terms of course content, some modules of the course focus on the history and technical challenges of art programs until it

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“intertwines” with other modules on leadership and adaptive challenges. Here, students are also required to “develop their own adaptive challenges” where they would diagnose an adaptive challenge that is meaningful to them and design experiments to address it on their own. The students would then share updates on how their experiments went and provide feedback to one another. According to his syllabus, the course “examines major environmental trends including changing demographics, new business models, rapidly developing technology and globalization, and understanding their implications for the arts.” Within this context, the primary purpose of this course is to “help students who are artists…have the ability to know the history and what they are facing” with respect to

“the issues of the past” and those issues “that are out there right now” with respect to the arts. Moreover, what is “more important” to Stefan is that his students “actually develop some skills to deal with the adaptive nature of human beings” and “go into their organization” and understand that they can exercise leadership from whatever position they are in. As such, and on a broader level, he mentioned that his “goal is to help them develop skills to help make progress on the biggest adaptive issues that the arts face.”

Stefan “got into the teaching of leadership” through serving as a coach and co- facilitator for Leadership in Self and Society, which is a week-long “immersive experience in adaptive leadership.” Very similar to the model of adaptive leadership teaching at Harvard, the course is “both rigid and improvisational” and taught with

“multiple facilitators in the room” who also teach different units of the course. As a “pre- session” course, it is taught five or six times a year with rotating facilitators working alongside the main instructor. Stefan initially got involved as a coach for the course and as a “back of the room facilitator” for one session until the main instructor suggested that

212 he facilitate from “the front of the room.” He mentioned that he tries to be available to serve as a facilitator once or twice a year and described how this course is “a lot of fun” to teach. The course is primarily taught with “case-in-point” methodology where what happens in the room becomes a live case study for students and faculty to analyze together and learn from as the instructors adapt and realign as needed. For example,

Stefan recalled one last day of class when he was supposed to facilitate a debriefing session with students in the morning, which is a regular part of their “sense-making” activities. As he shared this memory, he laughed as he confessed that “quite frankly… hates” facilitating debriefs as he does not feel competent in them and how the main instructor “made” Stefan do the debrief in order to “develop those skills.” The night before the debrief, two students emailed the faculty and requested that they do an experiment instead of the debrief, and despite the need for and structure of regular debriefings, including a learning opportunity for Stefan, the faculty decided to let the students try their experiment. This is how Stefan described the “adaptive” nature of the course and teaching. With additional units around the concepts of “diagnosing situation, managing self, energizing others, and intervening skillfully,” which university’s partnering leadership center models itself after, the course includes storytelling. Stefan mentioned that the purpose of this course is to “fundamentally change the way [their] students think about leadership” and to “go back into the university and actually practice leadership within the university, within their student organizations and within their campus, and help create change on this campus.” In this regard, “the biggest mistake that students make” after the course is “thinking that they don’t have a voice in their university.” As such, it is the “hope” of the teaching team to “give them some skills so

213 they can go right back into the university and help make some positive changes there” and “hopefully they’ll go on and keep practicing these skills.”

Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

To artists teaching their first leadership course, Stefan advises them to first have

“a really clear purpose for the course” and idea of what they want students to learn and what they are entering into. While a management course may require them to engage students in material “that could be really dry,” a leadership course may involve “creating an environment where people feel safe to experiment.” In this respect, artists have invaluable perspectives, mindsets, and skills to offer to encourage learning. He mentioned:

What artists bring to the table I think better than any other discipline is our whole being is about experimentation and failure. It’s about trying something … We always want it to be successful, but if it’s not, it’s not like we go, “okay, I’m never gonna make art again.” We’ll go, “well why did this suck, or why, how could I have made this better?” (Stefan)

With such a mindset, Stefan believes that “artists have a natural tolerance for failure.” As such, he encourages artist-educators to “create safe environments” for students to feel comfortable with taking risks and failing. Moreover, sharing stories of failure can also be

“powerful” for students. For example, Stefan shares a great deal about the negative reviews he has received as being just as valuable as the positive reviews in public. This in turn can contribute to building a safe learning context for people to fail and learn from failure.

The final piece of advice Stefan would give to the emerging artist-educator concerns overcoming the “imposter syndrome.” It may be easy for artists to question their legitimacy to teach leadership. According to Stefan, teaching leadership is not

214 limited to “specialists” who have technical expertise like a brain surgeon or accountant may have in their respective work. It may be useful to be up to date on current leadership literature, but one should “never feel” as though they are imposters and trust that they

“have something to say and something to contribute” to the environment created for leadership learning and field. In his words: “Just like I think anyone can engage in the activity of leadership, I think anyone can teach the activity of leadership.”

Sofie: “Co-Creator of Community”

Sofie and I first saw each other in Tacoma, Washington at the International

Transformative Learning Conference three years ago. Though we sat around the same table at a breakout session, we did not have a chance to cross paths again until two months later when I was reintroduced to Sofie via email by the director of the seminary where she serves as dean. Given our mutual interests in faith, art, leadership, and transformative learning, the director of the seminary thought Sofie and I had a lot in common and encouraged us to connect. Over our email introduction, Sofie mentioned how she had been meaning to reach out to me since we first met in Tacoma and how we also shared a mutual mentor in our scholarly journey. She invited me to see an exhibit at the art gallery that she was involved with, followed by a cup of tea at a bakery just next to it. When we finally had a chance to sit down and talk, I was pleasantly surprised to discover so many points of connection, parallels and synchronicities, in our respective personal, spiritual, academic, and artistic journeys. Our first afternoon tea chat uncovered our mutual faith and heart for peace and justice, our love of art and learning with art, travels around the world, graduating from a seven-sister women’s college,

215 doctoral studies in the field of adult learning, and several resonating experiences as

Asian-American women involved in the work of leadership development. It felt like a serendipitous encounter with a kindred soul, a longtime friend, with whom I would have crossed paths one way or another with the steps, passions, and communities we shared.

Over our first tea, we also talked about our emergence as artists. At the time, I had just started painting and did not yet consider myself an artist. The summer before I met Sofie, I was taking my first painting class when my grandmother passed away. She and I were very close, and the loss was devastating. During that difficult time, painting helped me grieve. The grieving also helped my painting as something was awakening in my heart. My art teacher at the time encouraged me to keep painting, and I could not stop painting. Though I was in a different discipline and program, I continued to take painting classes the following semesters and started drawing. I could not leave the art studio and spent entire days, sometimes even through the evenings and nights, painting and drawing. My art teachers became mentors and friends, and artist classmates also became mentors and friends. They helped me see things different and get in touch with parts of my heart and self that I kept closed and hidden. My painting teacher told me that he would like to come to my art show one day, despite my own doubts and fears. Even my advisor and sponsor encouraged me to keep painting, advising me to do something that “I” wanted to do for a change when my work and career path to that point had primarily been about meeting, and sometimes exceeding, expectations to belong and feel accepted. With the way in which life events unfolded alongside new openings of opportunity and support, I was starting to explore who I was as a “potential” artist and met Sofie. As Sofie heard my story and saw photos of my paintings on my phone, she

216 encouraged me to submit my artwork for exhibition. I did not even know where to start or how to submit anything nor did I have an artist statement as I did not even consider myself an artist at the time.

I sent Sofie an article I published on the role of arts in conflict resolution, and a few weeks after our first tea, and more emails and coffee in between, Sofie invited me to join a group of co-inquirers and co-curators for a community art installation in Harlem.

After many weeks of conversation and preparation, the installation, which we decided to call “How Does Our Garden Grow?”, was launched around the theme of growing community through art and conversation. Flowerpots with seeds planted during our opening as well as flowers that were already blooming brought life in the

“garden” as photographs of nature taken by youth in a photography workshop capturing images from Harlem and their own neighborhoods of trees, flowers, rain drops on leaves, and a duck in a pond adorned the walls around a “Tree of Life,” which

“grew” throughout the installation. In the first weeks, families in the neighborhood were invited to share and write in the “roots” of the tree, their own personal roots of family history and where they were born and raised, along aside what they viewed as the foundations of community in Harlem. Over the next weeks, the tree “grew” as more people added their stories and perspectives to the “trunk,” until the end of the exhibition where the tree had “leaves” that visitors added to share their dreams, aspirations, hopes, and visions for themselves as well as their neighborhood community. In this space, large community canvases were set up for people to paint or draw with each other, building on each other’s work or creatively altering it in some way, which were mounted on the walls. In addition, a ”bridge of inspiration” led visitors along a small corridor with music

217 playing on the speaker from a playlist that visitors contributed to during their visit. The corridor that the bridge passed through featured various pictures or words of inspiration that visitors created and shared. Visitors were then led to a “greenhouse incubator” of ideas where tables were set up for people to create art and share their thoughts on how to grow their community. Being a part of this installation with the co-curating team was a transformative experience for me as I saw an art gallery become an open space for community conversation and engagement with families and individual visitors coming in and out and interacting with each other. Our youngest co-curator was eight years old and the one who actually came up with the idea of the garden. Through this project, I became endeared to the neighborhood and residents of Harlem and inspired by the social impact art was able to have on a community.

In the middle of our planning for the community art installation, Sofie also invited me to submit my paintings to a juried art show that would be the next exhibition at the gallery. The show was called “Glimpses of Grace in the City,” and Sofie’s invitation and encouragement to submit and share my artwork, despite my lack of prior experience and anxieties, continued to shift my perspectives as an artist. Two paintings did get accepted to the show, and this offered an opportunity to continue to my story and “emergence” as an artist and share my art in community. Sofie’s support for my journey as an artist was a “glimpse of grace” I experienced in the city, and our friendship continued to grow as we had dinner with her children at her home, met up in Brussels for a leadership conference, had more dinners, and eventually co-chaired a transformative learning and arts subcommittee for a recent conference. I also participated in one of the non-degree leadership development programs at the seminary where I got to see how she integrated

218 art in her teaching of leadership. The more I have gotten to know Sofie, the more I have seen how her artist joins and collaborates with her educator. This seems to be her way of being in the world, allowing her to both see possibilities and enact them, while continuing to “grow” community wherever she goes and wherever she is.

The Artist-Educator

Sofie is an Asian-American woman who is “originally from England.” With one older sister, she was born in Southeast England to immigrant parents from Hong Kong.

Her father, an engineer by training, was educated in the United Kingdom. He met Sofie’s mother in Hong Kong who majored in history and had worked as a social worker. They married in England, and their family lived in North London until Sofie was five-years old when her family moved to the United States. They lived as immigrant minorities in a

“predominantly affluent, white, Jewish, Catholic neighborhood” in Long Island and commuted weekly to Chinatown to attend a Chinese immigrant church. As a “critical piece” of her formation, Sofie also mentioned that her parents were in Christian ministry and served as missionaries who reached out and provided spiritual care for people who might not be able to attend church on a Sunday because of work or access. They had a studio in their basement where they recorded and created materials to help people both access and grow with resources for faith and spiritual formation. Sofie also grew up seeing people from all over the world visiting their home for spiritual community and fellowship. While Sofie’s father continued to work as an engineer during the day, he and

Sofie’s mother were serving in Christian ministry in the evening and weekends. In this context, Sofie described how she and her sister wore “hand-me-down” clothes and had to learn in schools with scholarships as her parents pursued their ministry work and humbly

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“lived by faith” among affluent neighbors driving luxury cars. From attending school during the week as minorities to going to church in Chinatown where they were in the majority, yet still seen as outside “folks from the suburbs,” Sofie mentioned how “it was always this interesting space” for she and her sister to “figure out who [they] were wherever [they] went” and how “glad” she was to have her sister “always kind of figuring that out together.” Sofie then went to college in New York City and spent a lot of time traveling in the early years of her career. She also received more formal education in leadership through her master’s degree in international educational development and a seminary degree in urban mission, which was a cohort-based program for New York residents that Sofie and her husband both studied in for three years. This cohort program served as a foundation for establishment of her current institution, where she began working part-time before transitioning to full-time work after two years. She eventually pursued a doctorate degree in adult learning and leadership at another cohort- based program, while she continued to work and simultaneously had and raised three children with her husband. With the exception of some time teaching in Ethiopia and studying in London, Sofie mentioned how through the many transitions of life, work, and education, she has never “really left” the city.

Today, Sofie serves as dean of a seminary in New York. Perhaps in an effort to playfully confront the challenges of wearing multiple hats and managing multiple responsibilities, she laughed as she mentioned that the seminary is a “small non- traditional institution” and how this means she does “many things,” including overseeing and teaching in a master’s degree and several non-degree programs for adults as well as a youth seminary for high school students and youth leaders, alongside directing and

220 curating the seminary’s art gallery, other leadership development work, curriculum development, faculty development, and planning and assessment research. With respect to her own formation, Sofie mentioned how being a student in her doctoral program, while working full-time at the seminary, was “most interesting” in that it allowed her to

“try out” what she was learning in school. As such, the curriculum, methods of teaching, and programs at the seminary have been “very influenced” by and are reflective of

Sofie’s doctoral studies. Even Sofie’s dissertation on women and leadership in global

Christian theological education resulted in the seminary holding its first “symposium on women in leadership, and ministry” several years ago in 2012. The symposium has taken place every year since then and still continues as an annual event to this day. On a more general level, all programs at the seminary, according to Sofie, were designed

“particularly for New Yorkers” and has an unconventional curriculum model coming out of the seminary’s research and thinking on “how to be responsive and relevant to people serving in different neighborhoods in the city.” In this respect, two-thirds of students in the seminary’s Master of Arts degree program have been serving as pastors for many years in various neighborhoods and parts of the city, but never had access to resources and an opportunity for graduate education. Other students are ministry leaders in other forms.

With respect to her roles as artist and as educator, Sofie intentionally integrates them and does not see them as “particularly distinctive” in the work that she does. For her, work is “about meaning making” and “any time that things can be integrated” helps.

As such, putting things together and seeing how they “fit together” drives her work at the seminary and how the seminary works. For example, the seminary has an art gallery,

221 which also serves as a space for community engagement through the arts. Here, the way in which the seminary invites people into “community conversations” among works of art in the gallery is an “educative process” that is “arts-based” or “arts-inspired.” This approach is also reflected in the seminary’s graduate and non-degree courses that also draw from the arts and embed art in the curriculum and teaching methods. The integration of the arts in learning was something Sofie herself experienced and intuitively knew as valuable until she was able to understand and articulate why and how it was effective, especially in the diverse contexts in which she works, through her doctoral studies. She mentioned:

In my doctoral studies, I guess I began to find language for why and how it was important to integrate the arts particularly amongst diverse populations, which in this institution [as] an intercultural learning community…There’s no majority presence in terms of racial, or ethnical or cultural identity, and I think the arts play a critical role to open us up into different experiences with each other, leading to the possibility of understanding and empathy. (Sofie)

Such a way in which the arts opened up a diverse group of people to one another and facilitated understanding and empathy can also be attributed to the unique way in which art engages the whole body and activates all senses and parts of the self in learning. Sofie further described:

So, in contrast to the dominant paradigm of like reading, talking, listening, reading, talking, listening and writing, we try to think about how learning and teaching is really a whole-body process. So everything from using visual arts, tinker toys and clay, to using our bodies to do tableau or creating scenes, or walking, or listening to music, or interacting with public art, or museums, I think it’s activating all parts of ourselves into learning. (Sofie)

Sofie shared how she very much enjoys building and being in a “creative space to see what is possible.” In the integrated way she views herself and engages in artistry and teaching, Sofie mentioned that she would call herself “less formally an artist and more

222 like maker, or a creative, a curator of spaces and experiences linked to [her] work as an educator.” The question of “what is possible,” for Sofie, is constantly on her mind, especially when “very different people” and “very different experiences” are brought together. In this respect, her desire and efforts to “open up that possibility for synergy or dissonance” in such spaces constituted, as she playfully mentioned, her “creative understanding of what it means to be an artist.” Moreover, over her journey and many experiences, Sofie has come to shift her thinking of “artist is a visual artist,” but to see artist in a more wholistic way as it relates to her life. She mentioned: “Even in my practice as a musician, or as a writer, as an educator, as a curator, those are aspects of creativity and artistry that manifest themselves in such different ways, but they’re all part of how I would make meaning and hope to make space for others to create meaning.” As

Sophie described her myriad experiences and journey as artist-educator, she expressed how she is “always hopeful for transformation” both for herself and for her students.

Moreover, though transformation for her students “may not always happen within [her] purview,” Sophie asserted that she is remains “hopeful” in the sense that “by inviting people into experiences that they wouldn’t lead themselves into or choose that there could be something more that would lead to greater awareness, or greater experience, or greater sense of beauty.”

Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

Aside from her formal training as a musician, Sofie described how “informally” through art, she has “spent a life of learning how to see, see differently, and experience things from different perspectives.” She mentioned how she enjoys learning from other artists—their “processes” and “how they see the world.” With respect to her own

223 personal growth and transformative encounters with art, experience was central to her learning journey as she emphasized:

I guess for me experiencing the world is to experience it fully, in the sense that I think there’s so much of how I’ve learned and grown as a person because I’ve experienced the world not through just my head or through reading, though I love reading, but it’s in the doing, and the seeing, and the smelling and the listening. I feel like so much of how I’ve grown as a person has been kind of through sensory experience. (Sofie)

For Sofie, art provides sensory experiences and opens up her senses to fully experience the world around her. This is how she has grown in her own personal journey. This has also informed how she teaches and facilitates learning and growth in others, which is further described in the next segment of this portrait about her teaching.

When asked to share experiences with art that were transformative for her, Sofie shared an encounter with beauty at Monfragüe National Park during her travels in northern Spain as a college student. She laughed, perhaps at her seeming naiveté and bold sense of adventure and spontaneity, as she recalled her “road trip” with “two random strangers” she met while volunteering at a bird observatory in Portugal. The driver was a master’s student, and as he was starting to cook something like pasta on a hotplate for them to enjoy together, they blasted opera music from the car as they were outside on a cliff, facing another cliff, watching the birds. Sofie was captured by the beauty around her as she remembered the “birds like swooping kites, maybe some hawk” as “the sun was setting,” and “the sky was changing colors every two seconds.” For her, this was an

“overwhelming sensory experience of beauty.” She also described how, as a Christian, this was a spiritual experience for her as she marveled at “God’s art” and thought about how “God made this, and nobody could reflect it back any other way.” According to

Sofie, this memory illustrates how she “encounters the world” when she sees different

224 expressions of beauty. She also shared how she makes meaning of such experiences and

“shape” her. In her view, they “remind” her of how “small” she is “in the context of all things,” and yet “as a Christian how connected [she is] to the God who made all that,” which is “affirming.”

Sofie shared another transformative experience in a two-week residency with the

School of Visual Arts (SVA) in New York City on social practice and public intervention. Among all the other artists who were enrolled in the program, she and one other person were the only ones who had other professions and did not consider themselves artists at the time they joined. She was involved in leadership development in the context of Christian theological education, while the other classmate was a Buddhist exploring how art would help link his spiritual practice with his work in leadership development. As Sofie recalled her time in the program, she mentioned that the transformative aspect of her learning was not just “one experience,” but perhaps rather

“the accumulation” of multiple and different experiences in the program, facilitated by various artists. Among these experiences, one entailed a public intervention workshop called “Beauty + Purpose = Action” where participants had to execute a “durational public intervention” on a Wednesday for two hours. In preparation, on the preceding

Monday, participants went to 23rd Street between 7th and 8th avenues in Manhattan and had to “lie on the ground” on their backs with their “eyes closed” for “ten minutes,” followed by another ten-minutes of “looking up and just listening” while they remained on the ground. Sofie laughed in nervousness as she recalled her feelings around this experience and expressed how the exercise was “pushing [her] out of [her] comfort zone.” The next half-hour segment after that exercise entailed “just noticing you could

225 go to any vantage point” by choosing a spot and planning an intervention. Here, she described how she, as an “introvert,” was “freaking out” as she did not even generally like conversing with strangers. Nevertheless, she decided to give it a “try.”

As Sofie reflected on “who” she is and “what” she believes she does “best” for her public intervention on that Wednesday, she began to define “beauty as the interaction between strangers, and its purpose was to create a space of hospitality.” With this understanding, she described what she did with her “yoga mat and a picnic blanket,” which she placed on the ground of an avenue sidewalk, and “cold water, bubbles and cups, and some sidewalk chalk.” She chose four different spots along the sidewalk to conduct her intervention. With her chalk, she wrote in the first spot: “Do you have time to remember?” As Sofie “just sat there,” facing away from the street and inside toward the sidewalk, a person stopped by and “just chatted” with her. Another person came over and talked to Sofie for about half an hour. Sofie then decided to “face the street” in the second spot of her intervention. In the next three spots, she wrote respectively: “Do you have time to see?”; “Do you have time to listen?”; “Do you have time to be?”

Throughout her two-hour intervention, Sofie mentioned how her experience “was really interesting” as “random people came and just sat with [her]” and as she “learned about people’s lives.” Some people shared stories of job loss and homesickness, while a few people gave Sofie “hugs” and said, “thank you,” adding that it was “really what [they] needed.” She shared her final reflections from this exercise:

If beauty and purpose equals action, I feel like I was able to be me and create a space. So for me it’s about creating that space and that encounter and that possibility. I guess that’s an anecdote of the opportunity to be invited to something structured that I had to be creative and figure out what to do. I mean other people did very different things, but that was for me an opportunity to have

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creative space to do something that I really think was a bit petrifying, but in the end really meaningful. (Sofie)

This exercise seems to have helped Sofie become more comfortable with “being herself” and discover what it means to “create a space” for both herself and others to have meaningful encounters. She acknowledged and was honest about the initial anxiety and fear that she experienced. Her openness to try something different with art helped her grow and expanded her capacity to extend hospitality, even to “strangers” on the street.

This experience was meaningful to Sofie and part of her “accumulation” of experiences that led to transformation.

At the end of the week, Sofie and her classmates had to design and implement another public intervention. This time, the intervention would be 72 hours in duration and located in the Meatpacking District of Manhattan. Unlike the previous two-hour intervention, which they all conducted simultaneously at the same time, this intervention required them to “go from space to space to space to see everybody’s intervention.” For this project, some of her peers who were visual and graphic artists were on the High Line, while Sofie ended up in the housing projects right next to the High Line. Sofie decided to do something that involved “listening,” which she felt she had been doing naturally and regularly in music and life. In her space, she “just started talking to people” and recorded their stories. Here, she learned about “Leandra’s Garden” and saw a mural of three

“Fulton Heroes”—Leandra and two other young children—who were from the neighborhood and killed by reckless drivers who were under the influence of alcohol or speeding in neighborhood streets. Leandra died while riding in a car along the West Side

Highway that flipped over due to the driver losing control under the influence of alcohol.

This led to Leandra’s father to partner with political figures to get “Leandra’s Law”

227 passed, which considers it “a felony if you are driving with X amount of percentage of alcohol with a minor in the back.” In another incident, a little boy was run over by a speeding car as he ran into the street from the playground, which was the “last straw” in mobilized efforts to install speed bumps along West 19th Street. Sofie heard another story about a street that was named after someone who got stabbed by the boyfriend of his cousin who was the victim of domestic violence. Sofie continued to describe Leandra’s

Garden where there was another mural and a “this little greenhouse of sorts,” as she shared her process of “taking these stories, learning Garage Band overnight, and splicing them together” in order to recreate an audio file that she sent to her classmates to “walk around and listen to that space” and also “played out loud for people who were passing by on the sidewalk.” According to Sofie, this a way to “create a space” for people to hear stories about little known New Yorkers from the community that they may not have heard before and reconsider their purpose. In her words:

A lot of tourists come to High Line … and people come to New York to see, hear famous people, or see famous celebrities, but they walk right past this garden, and they never hear the story that should be told. So I felt like this was an opportunity to share their stories publicly… So for me it was again, creating that experience of reflection and encounter with somebody or a story that might cause them to kind of pause and rethink why am I here. (Sofie)

Sofie’s attempts at “public intervention” through art were artistic experiences that to her were “transformative” in the “challenge of having to do it” as it caused her to “push” to think about what she could do and “how” she would do her art “within the capacity” she already had.

Sofie’s experiences in the residency also had a significant impact on her teaching.

This strengthened her understanding of the power and potential of the arts in learning as she shared an additional take away: “So when I think about the arts and the potential, I

228 feel like it was really powerful for me personally as a learner, but also in the way that I want to construct experiences for other people and invite them into that experience of a different reality, which could be potentially transformative for them.” When I asked

Sofie how being “stretched or expanded” beyond her comfort zone impacted her teaching, she mentioned that it made her “more sensitive” to the things she is asking her students to do as well as “compassionate” with the people who are learning with her facilitation. For example, she mentioned how she usually designs learning to be “very experiential” and came to “totally understand how introverts [could be] terrified or so uncomfortable” with some exercises and even resistant. As such, now, even when students are invited to being “stretched,” she is aware that “there can be a high level of resistance or discomfort,” and tries “to figure out how to be better at scaffolding or inviting people to take baby steps.” In this respect, she has become more mindful to “not just do experiential learning because it’s innovative and like exciting, but to always use discernment, knowing who the people are in the room.”

In addition to being stretched and pushed beyond her comfort zone, Sofie’s experience in the residency was also transformative in that it shifted her view of herself as an artist. The community of artists around her also played a significant role in this respect as she explained:

What was really encouraging in that residency that people kept saying, “stop saying you’re not an artist” too, like, “you are a maker, you’re creative, you’re doing things that nobody else would have thought of.” I think it was really affirming and transformative in that sense because it helped me to start having more confidence in my creativity and voice and really thinking about myself less as like, “oh, you know, I’m just this.” But no, I’m leading, leaning into that creativity and strength as someone who thinks differently, but is also open to listening to others. (Sofie)

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Sofie mentioned that one way in which she first introduced herself to her fellow group of residents was to say that she was there because she wanted to know how “[they, as artists] see the world.” In this process, she learned how she, herself, saw the world as an artist as she learned how others in her “community of creative people” saw the world. In this respect, there were various ways that they “experienced each other.” She also discovered how “they interpreted the same reality that [she] saw in a different way.” As such, she expressed how her own work improved because she was “listening” and seeing how different artists, including herself, “interacted with” the “same spaces.” She emphasized how “she learned a lot” from the community and how much they helped her accept and see herself as an artist.

Outside of the community of her two-week residency at SVA, Sofie mentioned how her work at the gallery and “cumulative experiences of spending more time with artists and curators” was enabling her to be more confident in her “voice as a creative person.” If I were to be pursuing my dissertation study five years ago and asked her to participate then, she mentioned how she probably would have declined as, though she might have used the word “creative” or “maker,” she would not have considered herself an artist nor would she have included “artist in [her] bio” back then. Laughing with pleasant surprise that she actually responded to my study identifying as an artist, compared to her likely declination from where she was at before, she described how a

“cumulative shift of little shifts” has been helping her own her identity as an artist and enabling her to be “more confident in claiming this part of who [she is] and articulating it.” Even in spaces with people who are visual artists or explicitly “name themselves as artists,” she mentioned now “having greater confidence in saying yeah, I belong here

230 too.” In this respect, her transformative experience was not “one specific incident,” but rather “incremental shifts” that came out of her residency experience and the cumulation of many things she has done and experienced “in so many contexts.”

According to Sofie, “the shift” of growing in “identity as a creative person” is not

“restricted to one media.” Sofie described how she now also sees herself as an artist in her writing and speaking. She is currently working on an auto-ethnography and writing her story as she is “creating a picture” for people to see how her life has been “shaped” and “impacted” by the people she has met, the places she has been, the arts, and her work. Along this journey, Sofie joined a writing group two years ago and shared how she is “learning to grow in [her] voice as a writer” as she is also coming to realize that she does have “something uniquely interesting to share with the world.” With respect to speaking, Sofie is learning to own her voice in public speaking. Although she strongly dislikes speaking in public and has been “very happy to lead from the back,” she mentioned “the irony” in her life of not always having the “choice” to do things her way and now being invited to speak in “more national gatherings and international settings” with her growing role in leadership. As a result of these opportunities, Sofie is learning to let people see and hear what she has to bring and say. In her words: “I’ve had to grow more confident in the way I do things and bringing who I am into the settings where I am invited to speak.” In both writing and speaking, Sofie is growing and learning to own who she is and her voice as an artist. She further described this process: “I think both as a speaker, and there is performance in that you have to show up and be comfortable in your skin, and then as a writer, I’m trying figure out what my voice is, and I have

231 wonderful, wonderful editor who is so encouraging. She’s like, ‘Stop qualifying.’ She’s like, ‘Just say what you wanna say ‘cause it’s important, so just say it, just write it.’”

Sophie’s personal learning journey with art as an ongoing process seems to suggest the gradual and continual aspect of her transformative learning in embracing herself and blossoming with her voice as an artist. Along this path, she has come to experience and realize for herself as well as for others the power and potential of the arts to transform. In her words:

Art has such endless possibilities, and, people’s expressions and interpretations of life lead me to see like there’s so much more than I can see or experience, and when I’m invited into that, I feel like, how can I in turn invite people into seeing there’s so much more, you haven’t even touched the surface. And, if you just had a glimpse, you would be changed because I think like I have tasted transformation in a sense through beauty, or through art, or through arts … If people would just be open to being touched by that, things could happen… You can’t even, you don’t even know what could happen. (Sofie)

From her own transformative experiences with art, Sofie encourages both openness and expectancy. The degree of her own transformation may have also come out of the degree of her willingness and openness, despite her fears and anxieties, to allow herself to be touched deeply, shifted out of what was familiar, and changed even if she did not necessarily know what it would or could look like. Nevertheless, it is also not something to be forced, and here, Sofie continues to “invite” both herself and others to “see” and

“experience” something new.

Teaching Leadership

Sofie mentioned that she does not have “a singular definition” of leadership. As she considers her potential alignment with the “situational school or the “contextual school,” she does not believe that there is “one way” of exercising leadership that

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“applies to every situation.” She laughed at her very fluid assumptions around leadership as she also considered that her understanding of leadership is perhaps influenced by her

“positionality” and experiences as “an Asian-American woman” who has, frequently and in multiple contexts, been the only Asian-American woman in the room, even in “a group of 150 people talking about the changing landscape in American Christianity” or a large gathering on “eco-justice and faith in the arts.” As such, when Sofie thinks about leadership, including “presence and voice,” she believes that her understanding of those terms are “really shaped by being a double minority as an Asian-American and a woman.” In addition to her social identity, Sofie also discussed her experiences of “being the only odd ball” even with respect to “discipline.” Frequently in “interdisciplinary spaces,” Sofie described how she would be “the only educator in a religion conversation” or “the only religious person or theological educator” in an education conference. In addition, she also considers herself as “typically an introvert.” In this regard, she mentioned how she does not “speak up” unless she feels compelled to and gets “really drained by larger conversations.” In this respect, she described how she tends to “process slowly” as she would “pick and choose” when to talk and how she is “comfortable being quiet.” Given her role, she expressed her uncertainty on whether “everybody else feels comfortable” when she is quiet, but she referred to leadership “in being present verbally,” but also leadership “in choosing to be quiet and creating space for others to either lean into their gifts or be comfortable with silence.”

With respect to all the theories of leadership, including relational and transformational leadership, she has been “least enthusiastic” about “authentic leadership” as she views the word “authentic” as having “been overused.” With

233 respective to how she generally works at the seminary, Sofie mentioned that they “do a lot around practicing collaborative leadership and team leadership,” which also emphasizes “reciprocity of who a person is within a community.” Sofie’s dissertation also explored leadership among women in a way of exploring their journeys. The

“metaphor” of leadership that she took away from her study was “a spiral labyrinth with multiple centers, and multiple entry points, and multiple exit points.” From this perspective, she asserted that “there are multiple spaces of leadership, and people can have agency, and entering and exiting when that’s not the space for them. Moreover, leadership in Sofie’s view, was distinct from management in that management entails

“coordinating, organizing, and creating flow on processes,” whereas “leadership includes some vision” and “movement” and “direction.” As Sofie described and expounded on her

“multiple ways” of defining leadership, it was clear that her understanding of leadership, including her differentiation of management, was not fixed to a theory or idea and grounded in her own experience.

As an example of her leadership teaching, Sofie described a course called

“Learning and Leading,” which engages the question of “how do we learn by leading and lead by learning.” In this respect, students are encouraged to explore how they are going to “learn together” and “lead each other in this process.” The course is co-taught with two other faculty members where Sofie and her two colleagues each focuses on different aspects and lenses of learning, as they are “leaning into” their respective “comforts and gifts of being able to engage.” The course is designed to be “exploratory and reflective” in the sense that the instructors do not tell students what to learn or how to learn, but instead create a space where they would “unpack and explore” their lived and direct

234 experiences of each other as they exercise leadership together, including their patterns of behavior and alternative ways they could exercise leadership. The course embeds the method of “collaborative inquiry” where students had to “practice co-leadership” in

“small rounds around a mutually compelling question and take action to learn about it.”

Here, students have to discuss, experience, and reflect on “what it meant to learn, how did learning happen, and also what it means to practice learning by leading and leading by learning.” There is “a lot of reflection, a lot of practice, a lot of trying to engage in the practice of listening to each other,” as they are “trying to build a community that was going to lean on each other for learning” for the two years that they would be studying together in the master’s program. From journaling to life writing, students are also required to “write a lot in the course” as part of their theological reflections. As some students may have been out of school for several years and may have “not written in a long time,” Sofie mentioned that there were several “writing workshops” included in the course and “mentor texts,” including Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime and Louise DeSalvo’s

Writing as a Way of Healing. Throughout the course, Sofie mentioned how she and her teaching colleagues are “just trying to really invite people to reflect on their own journeys as learners and leaders and to give them a framework for the work ahead.” As Sofie described her courses, she explained how the seminary believes “very much in cohort learning and bringing together a group of adult learners who can bring in their own experiences.” In this respect, students are given “opportunities to practice leadership as much as possible, but also reflect on themselves as learners and leaders.” This course takes place alongside another course that the same cohort of students take called “Sensing

235 the City,” which is another experiential course about “engaging the senses” and “using the city as a classroom.”

To teach their courses, Sofie and her colleagues also incorporate art making. This includes the use of graphic novels, drawing and creative writing with some sessions with embodied learning where students create “tableaus” using their bodies. Students also interact with visual arts in galleries and museums. The experiential nature of “Learning and Leading” with “different modes of learning” is reflective of other courses that Sofie teaches at the seminary. Through all of these activities, Sofie hopes that students would

“learn that there are different ways of learning that they may not be used to” and “be stretched” in the way they “see themselves as learners” as they are “invited” to “try something different” and “push themselves in areas where they could grow.” In this respect, she described a “learning outcome” as “increased agility in knowing self, as learner, as leader, as person, [with] hopefully increased empathy to really listen to other people, to listen to God, and to listen to self, being reflective.” Sofie also mentioned that in the current context of “I gotta get this thing done mode,” people may not necessarily think “why are we doing this, what is the point?” As such, it was important to not only teach students the “content” of what learning and leadership is, but influence their

“attitude” towards learning and leading in addition to helping them see “more possibilities for them to be more open, but also begin to articulate, even as they’re opened to new things, what they actually think or believe.” Sophie explained how she often goes back to her own learning journey to consider methods and resources that “really worked” and what she “enjoyed” as she is drawing from, “pulling from” and “integrating” her experiences from “a lot of different learning experiences” to both encounter and help

236 others become open to “varied ways of knowing, being, and learning.” Nonetheless, as she discussed how it is important for students to “know” and “be challenged by” what makes them “uncomfortable,” that it is also important that they do not “shut down immediately.” In this regard, Sofie shared that “there were definitely some disorienting dilemmas happening throughout the course,” and that she and her colleagues “could have done better with scaffolding for some.” She chuckled as she shared her mistakes of pushing too hard and potentially overwhelming some students without her knowing and how the she and her co-instructors have “learned a lot” for the next round.

In another example she shared of her teaching leadership in urban ministry settings, Sofie emphasized a place-based and an arts-based approach to learning as she described the curriculum of a non-degree ministry leadership development course

(program) for people across a range of ages from college students to retired pastors that includes pilgrimages, community meals, neighborhood prayer walks, church site visits, videos, museum and gallery explorations, and artmaking. As Sofie discussed the importance of “interdisciplinary learning” and how our learning from each other across disciplines “expands our experience” of something we may encounter alone, she also mentioned how the course brings a diverse group of people together and aims to help people “see their context in the city in new ways” and “broaden their understanding of what it means to be a Christian” as they learn to “see church in its diversity” and “have hopefully a positive experience with people.” In this respect, the course seeks to help people understand their differences in a way “that does not come down to arguing about doctrine, but really appreciating that there’s so much to be gained from friendship with others.” As such, course assignments are designed to help people get to know their own

237 particular community or context more deeply and be “formed” as they learn from other communities and contexts and potentially experience “transformation” in the process.

She mentioned:

Being in a different setting, and then coming back and being able to reflect back on what’s happening in your own context in light of what you’ve learned from a different place can lead to transformation we hope. I think in that course it’s just like an invitation to a different way of being and an opportunity to be in community with others. I think often what people enjoy about that course is the diversity of perspectives that are there in a place where we hope as much as possible people can be heard even in their differences. And I think often people don’t always have good experiences being in diverse settings where they feel like they’re not heard, so I hope that that teaches some lesson around leadership of how important it is to listen. (Sofie)

As students in the course learn to appreciate their differences and diversity of perspectives in community as they learn to listen well, they will move forward from the course with “a deeper knowledge of where people are, a deeper knowledge for experience of who people are with, and in that being formed in community for ministry… ultimately be hopefully more useful and better at ministering wherever they are.” This includes the ability to “see and experience the world in a wider way” as well as “be more compassionate and more hospitable.” Moreover, Sofie frames leadership in ministry as a complex and “messy” process that requires openness and learning, which informs not only what is taught in the course, but how the seminary teaches and what they emphasize in all their courses and programs. In her words:

Ministry can be a very messy thing, sometimes there’s no clear-cut questions and answers, there’s just like messiness. So within that kind of really unclear situation how do you lead? So it’s less about giving them answers, but more about how do you ask good questions, and how do you kind of reframe your assumptions about a situation, and be open to hearing what others might think about it? That might lead to ... A good outcome would be wisdom, which we all would like to be more wise. (Sofie)

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With this assumption around ministry and leadership, all courses and programs at the seminary explore “multiple modalities” of learning and embed experiential learning and reflection to help people become more open in learning. As such, though Sofie has formal administrative authority as a dean, she views herself “very much more like a facilitator” when teaching. In this respect, she mentioned how she would be facilitating learning for her students by “walking with them, pointing to some resources I’ve shared or learned about, and encouraging people to kind of bring what they have to the table, opening up conversation for different views.” In her view, this entails “co-creating, meeting together, reflecting together, and being shaped or formed in the process.” As a student in her course and as her friend, I have experienced Sofie’s both formal and informal “facilitation” and have been “shaped and formed” in the process. Though I do not know whether she is consciously aware of her impact and her natural way of being and flowing as an artist-educator, I can see how her journey and integrated roles can facilitate learning that is meaningful and transformative for not just the individuals in her presence, but also the communities that she is a part of and those that her students and friends are part of in a larger system and world.

Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

To artists teaching their first leadership course, Sofie first advises: “Don’t jump in with your own assumptions that you know that your way is the way. Invite people.”

Moreover, it is also important to “learn who’s in the room first.” In this respect, there may be people who may be more open to, and others who may feel a great deal of discomfort with, different ways and forms of learning, especially with art. In addition,

“there may be even more incredible artists in the room who have a different way of

239 expression.” Sofie laughed as she discussed the need to gauge where different people are coming from, with varying levels of openness and resistance, and make adjustments to both “craft” and “plan.” Perhaps her laughter conveys her familiarity with various scenarios from her own experience of working with diverse groups. She even suggests to

“always have multiple plans” and “a part A, B, C, and D” as some people may not actually be able to do what they are asked. As such, sensitivity and adaptability, including possessing a broad repertoire of approaches, methods, and options, are essential values and mindsets that Sofie seems to emphasize for teaching. Furthermore, she seems to assume, or at least err on the side of assuming, diversity among learners in the room.

Sofie also encourages the emerging artist-educators not to be “apologetic” nor

“proud” for the artistic gifts they have. She suggests that they “use” their gifts and

“invite people into an experience.” Understanding that there may be people who may resist, among others who may want to be challenged, Sofie also offers some strategies:

I think the greatest thing that will diffuse resistance is an invitation with options. If this is as far as you can go with it, that’s fine, but for those people who desire to be stretched more, give them that space. I think often people will default to “oh, I’m not an artist, I’m not great at this, or I’m not good at drawing,” so I think scaffolding, baby steps, showing them that, through these small steps, they can actually create something so much more than they thought they could. (Sofie)

To ensure that everyone is engaged, it is important to learn and be aware of who is in the room and tailor activities accordingly. In this respect, Sofie considers that “leadership is an art,” and this entails “reading the room” and “knowing how to really adjust your craft to who’s there.” As such, though the artist-educator may come into the classroom with many years of practice and a certain degree of skill, the learners may enter in having never had experience with art.

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Sofie finally recommends “creating space” for students to accept and “start where they are and go as far as they can go” in that space. This, however, does not necessarily mean that students cannot be challenged or grow. Rather, Sofie encourages artist- educators to “invite them into the opportunity to do something even more” and even be surprised where “they’re like woah, I didn’t know I could do that” and see how they can be as creative as their instructors. In this regard, Sofie asserts that “we all have creativity in us,” though we could have been “told so much in our lives that we’re not.” As such, as an artist-educator, “you’re not necessarily unleashing the creativity,” but instead “maybe opening that window, opening the door to let people discover what they have to give.”

Jamie: “Actress to Leadership Developer”

I first met Jamie at a leadership conference and got to know of her work through a network and community of practice of which we were members. As some greetings tend to go at large gatherings, it was a very brief exchange that did not lead to any further interaction or communication thereafter. Jamie and I were then reacquainted 18 months later earlier this Spring through our mutual colleague who was also my classmate in a leadership development master class over two years ago. Our mutual colleague forwarded my email about my dissertation study to a few of her colleagues, including

Jamie. Jamie reached out to me via email with “Artist as Teacher” in the subject line and shared her theater background and experience of acting in more than 30 plays in Chicago alongside her current work in leadership development and coaching. Stating that her

“perspective as a theater artist influences [her] work, she mentioned that she “would welcome a chance to get clearer about how – and whether [she] can do more to take

241 advantage” of her background and experiences as both artist and educator and “be happy to participate” in my study if I thought it would be helpful. I thought Jamie’s experiences and perspectives aligned very well with my study and was excited to hear and learn more.

I then made arrangements to travel to her location of work and residence to observe her teaching and interview her in person. After deciding on a date and time, my plans unfortunately did not work out as hoped due to conflicting flight schedules and costs, and we had to shift to scheduling a different time to conduct our interview via a Zoom videoconference call. Jamie also sent me a syllabus-agenda of one of her courses, a recorded video of one of her facilitations, and links to recordings of her acting with a theater company. We also conducted a second interview via the Zoom platform a few months after our first interview.

With a large colorful painting of a farm or prairie in the background and a fan spinning above a purple door with natural sunlight, Jamie seemed relaxed in a simple white t-shirt when we started our first interview in the early summer. It was also raining with flash flood warnings in Jamie’s area as the natural light soon faded and Jamie had to get up in the middle of the interview to turn on the lights and shut the door. She returned to her chair and put on her glasses, which were stylish with large brown patterned plastic frames, as she reviewed the syllabus for one of her courses to discuss their purpose and learning objectives. Along with the light, the internet connection seemed to also fade as our call got disconnected. After a few tries of trying to reconnect online and some text messages, we eventually decided to continue our interview over the phone. There were additional disruptions with the clapping of thunder as Jamie expressed how it was “a little crazy” around where she lived and shared that her child was not able to attend school for

242 three days in a week because of all the “raining, raining, and raining” and flooding in the roads. From my flight issues to thunderstorms, there were several disruptions along the way of our first interview, and I felt it was interesting that we literally had to “adapt” and

“improvise” as we went with whatever flow came with our mutual interests and teaching in adaptive leadership and her stories from acting.

A few months later into the Fall, our second interview took place without any disruption. This time Jamie was wearing a black and yellow top with large glasses with plastic black-and-white patterned frames in front of what looked like a small conference room wall. Her attire was festive and stylish as I expressed how I loved her glasses along with the necklace she wore that seemed to have wooden pieces and other materials made of darker shades of red, white, and blue, which were harder to discern details via computer screen, but nevertheless beautiful. Jamie responded by saying that her husband is an artist and made the necklace. As she shared more of her journey from acting to teaching, in contrast to the first interview where Jamie put her glasses on to read perhaps more academically stated goals and objectives from written course materials, Jamie removed her glasses towards the end of our second interview when she started to describe a method of experiential teaching that was perhaps more artistic than academic and very comfortable to her. Jamie also seemed to become more animated when she discussed how art integrated with teaching as she used her hands from small to large gestures to emphasize and illustrate different points about her teaching as well as express how learning moments in the classroom could be “elevated” or “seized.”

As I got to hear more of Jamie’s story and learn who she is as both artist and educator, I was able to see how significant and meaningful both space and attire were in

243 her teaching. The video clip she shared of her teaching over the summer featured her in bright red pants with slanted bell bottoms and a floral top with large prints of red flowers.

Another handmade necklace also hung around her neck, which seemed to have a similar feel to the necklace she wore a few months later during our second interview. In our first interview, Jamie discussed and described one of her “favorite sessions” to facilitate, and the video she shared captured how she facilitated in this session. The video recording starts off with Jamie thanking the previous facilitator as he passes the microphone to her with the screen in the front of the room transitioning to a slide with the name of her organization and its vision statement. As she takes the microphone, she states that it is a very “special time and place” for her in her role as an executive being in a “prime spot” at the end of a 2.5-day program. The room is quiet, and the audience of 150 participants looks to her standing in the middle and front of the room as she asserts: “There is a lot of pressure on me, to use it right, and to use it well. And there’s a lot of different opinions about what right and well might be.” Exploring all the possible opinions different stakeholders of her work might have on what is “right” and “well” to close out this program, along with what she herself with her “ego” might do with that time, Jamie instead shifts the focus back to the participants and what they are going to do when they return home.

In next remaining minutes of the video clip, Jamie projects a cartoon on the screen and refers to a page of a book on which the cartoon is printed. She mentioned during our first interview that the book was co-written by two colleagues and features many cartoons that her artist friend and former neighbor from Chicago created. In the video, the cartoon she focuses on is called “acting experimentally.” The cartoon shows a

244 picture of a caveman on the top of a hill with tools in his hands, a lot of rubble around him, triangular and square shaped wheels that were fallen over, and a large round wheel rolling down the hill as the person on top of the hill looks happy and excited with his eyes on the wheel. In the video, Jamie then asked participants to “get up” and “go find somebody” they have not yet met to “have one more conversation” to discuss what they are seeing and what meaning they are making from the cartoon. Microphones are situated around the room, and Jamie reconvenes the large group to reflect on the cartoon.

People share how the cartoon resonates with their own lives and journeys of leadership.

These include discussions of “trying over and over again,” “finding a solution that works with still room for improvement,” “a long time to get there, learning along,” “anything is possible,” and “thinking of next steps” in addition to challenges and “failures” they may face as they try to apply what they learned during the program back at home and “keep experimenting.” The lesson at the end of the session focuses on community as Jamie emphasizes that they are “not alone” on this journey and encourages them to “stay connected” and check in with each other. Jamie expresses her joy to be with the participants and asks the audience to join her in thanking everyone who has been part of the program including the participants as they are charged to “go forth, use these ideas, and stay in touch.” The video clip ends with people in the room clapping. From the comments shared around the room, it appears as though the program was meaningful to the participants. As I heard Jamie describe this facilitation during our first interview and observed her actual facilitation, I could see how her roles as artist and as educator have come together to create meaningful experiences for people and continue to integrate to make a difference.

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The Artist-Educator

Jamie was born in the Midwest of the United States and moved to suburban

Chicago when she was six years old. Her mother was an English teacher in high school.

Her father worked as a newspaper editor, while Jamie mentioned that his “real gift and focus was newspaper design.” He was also a writer and a visual artist in when he was younger before he went into journalism. Jamie has five younger brothers, among whom one is a curator of sound archives at a museum and a string bass player in bands, one is a writer, and another who is also a journalist. Following what seemed to be a family trade,

Jamie also thought about pursuing a career in journalism when she was in high school until she “found” herself acting on stage at the age of 15. For the next 20 years, from high school through to middle adulthood, she immersed herself in acting and is now a leadership educator back in the Midwest. She is married to an artist. Her husband who used to be an architect in Chicago is now retired in the Midwest as a full-time sculptor and naturalist who creates large land art scenes, maps, and smaller sculptures. Jamie mentioned that he also “plays around with” making jewelry as she smiled and touched the necklace she wore and shared that he made. She and her husband have a child, soon to be a teenager, whom Jamie described as having “a little bit of acting talent,” “a little bit of drawing talent,” and perhaps is “more likely to become a leadership educator than an artist.”

As Jamie reflected on her adolescence and secondary education at a “wealthy high school in suburban Chicago,” she mentioned how it was “remarkable” to her, now in retrospect, and perhaps particularly as a woman, “how little was offered” to help her explore and decide what to do with life. She contemplated on following the steps of her

246 mother to become a teacher, of her grandmother to become a nurse, or of her father to become a journalist, but felt that she “didn’t have a whole lot of other options” and did not have any help or support from anyone within her family or elsewhere to “see a whole lot of other options.” Then, she found herself on acting on stage in a one-act play in high school, where for the “first time” to that point, she stated that she “really lost track of time.” As Jamie shared this memory, she mentioned how she had just given a talk the day before our second interview. At this talk, she encouraged people to “pay attention to these places where you lose track of time, because these have something to tell you about who you are and, and what you have to contribute.” At the age of 15, Jamie felt acting was her “purpose” and her “calling,” and she “threw herself into it” for the next two decades of her life, which was very formative and meaningful for her.

After acting debut in high school, Jamie received a full scholarship to pursue her undergraduate degree in theatre at Case Western Reserve University. While she was a student there, she spent her junior year abroad in London where she auditioned for a two- and-a-half-year diploma program at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA). She was accepted into that program right as she returned to complete her senior year at Case

Western Reserve and went back to London to start her coursework at RADA after completing a year’s worth of remaining requirements for her bachelor’s degree in one semester. Jamie was one among 23 people—8 women and 15 men—chosen out of 1,000 people who auditioned, which she mentioned as a “little vote of confidence” to remain in acting when she started questioning whether this was the right career path for her. In

London, she “got to see a lot of plays” and “be in a lot of plays” as she also got “to dance a little bit.” As she described her time at RADA, she mentioned how she was also among

247 two Americans in her class. Unlike her compatriot who “desperately wanted to stay in

London,” Jamie expressed how she “never wanted to” and “was never compelled” to stay in London or England to continue acting. Instead, she wanted to return to her hometown of Chicago where people had “a similar background” and shared desires to “make art that had a connection” to issues that they needed to “pay attention to” and needed to “talk about.” In her words: “I definitely wanted to make art of the place where I had grown up, and with people who saw the world and it’s problems similar to what I saw and wanted to make a difference through that.”

As soon as Jamie returned to Chicago, she auditioned and got to play the role of

Octavia in a Shakespeare reproduction of Anthony and Cleopatra and another understudy role in an equity theater but expressed how she was more drawn to “non-equity theatre” as well as “creating a theatre company.” Her first theater company was called Fusion

Theater Group. With this group, she wrote and performed a one-woman play about

Amelia Earhart and about “women’s voice” and how “women must do the things that men have tried, and if they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others.” She then got connected with a nonprofit organization that took plays into public schools in Chicago, and her one-woman play was interactive with the students as the students “took a voice in the play as reporters.” According to Jamie, the play was about “a woman finding her voice and doing things that have never been done, but also about the students finding their voices.” She then joined another theater company called Stage Left Theatre, which expressed “a point of view of social and political issues” or attempted “to provoke debate about social and political issues.” Jamie described how “Chicago was great” and “it still is” as people do not need to have a great deal of money or resources “to be able to find a

248 space and start a theater company.” She worked a lot with Stage Left and worked with

Footsteps Theatre, which was a company that engaged in theater around women’s issues.

The company performed “new plays by women” around the time Jamie joined the company and was “coming out as a lesbian.” Jamie shared that “she was in a lesbian relationship in [her] 30s and really identified as a lesbian.” As such, part of her work with Footsteps was a part of her personal journey of “being out and being part of helping people just see and understand and open their minds.”

Jamie worked with a few different theater companies in Chicago and also joined

About Face Theatre, which produces plays about the LGBT experience, and served as director and writer for the company’s About Face Youth Theater program, which helps youth ranging from 14 to 22 years old, create and perform plays based on their stories and experiences. She and her colleagues founded the program 20 years ago for young members in the LGBT community to be engaged in “finding their voices, telling their stories, creating,” while professional actors like Jamie “taught them acting and improv, engaged them in finding their stories, helped them write scenes, put the play together.”

Jamie mentioned how she is “really proud of, and in some ways still involved with” the program. As she shared this story during our interview, she mentioned how she was

“looking at the first poster” right in front of her, just above her desk, called “Raising

Voices” as she shared how there is another play being performed that summer. To Jamie,

“that felt, that was, very much about leadership development.” In her words: “Some of those people who were in those plays, 18, 19, 20 years ago have now in their 30s verging on their 40s and doing pretty great things.” Moreover, “around that time there was a lot

249 happening in Chicago around LGBT rights.” As such, Jamie believes that the company and program “contributed in a pretty big way that was very meaningful.”

Jamie also mentioned another theater company that she was a part of called

Plasticene, which was a physical theater company that only used movement and sound and “no words.” She sent me links to recordings of the company’s shows and expressed how it was perhaps the company that had “the most success” among all other companies she worked in. Plasticene performed in Edinburgh and “got really great reviews in

Chicago.” They also performed in other cities around the United States. When Jamie was around 33 years old, she described the challenges she faced with an acting career and decided to shift into nonprofit work from full-time acting. She described:

I finally realized that first of all, I didn’t want to wait tables forever, and second of all, the way you were supposed to make a living in Chicago was doing industrial films, so training films, and I didn’t find much joy or purpose in that. And the other way that you could ... I could imagine at that point making a living was doing regional theater which would mean traveling around the country, sleeping on people’s couches. And that was not ... I mean, again I wanted like, place-based work or community-based work. So I decided to get a job in a nonprofit. (Jamie)

On this path, Jamie worked for a nonprofit organization where she started doing leadership development work, which involved “urban canoe adventures” and developing leadership capacity in young people through canoeing. She then got involved with civic engagement and arts advocacy at the state level where they studied leadership succession in nonprofit arts. Through her work of studying leadership, she got into to coaching and leadership development through an institute that integrated a significant amount of art in their programs. After engaging as a participant in that program, she began working as a facilitator in that program. In addition, she “talked [her] way into” an opportunity to teach leadership at the Graham School at the University of Chicago. Along this journey

250 of professional transition, Jamie also discussed major life transitions as she shared:

“Somewhere in there, I left my partner, married a man, had a child, then eventually moved to [a different state].” By the time she and her family moved out of Chicago to their new location of residence, she explained how she no longer wanted act as she was finding “a lot of joy and fulfillment” in teaching and coaching as well as embracing her new role of becoming a “mother at 46.”

Jamie currently works at a nonprofit organization that focuses on civic leadership and provides leadership education in her new hometown. The organization had just been established when Jamie and her family arrived, and her name “came up” in the CEO’s search “for people who were teaching, coaching, and facilitating, doing leadership development.” Along these efforts, Jamie was invited to a conference of around 100 or

150 people who were engaged in leadership development in the state and then chosen to be a part of their first “faculty development” class of 24 people. Out of her participation in that first class, she was asked to design and develop the organization’s coaching initiative and program. She developed the process and subsequently trained their first batch of coaches. She also started traveling across the country to teach and coach in various cities, including Chicago and Seattle, alongside her hometown and state. Starting out in a role of overseeing coaching and faculty development, she is now “transitioning” into a role that focuses less on administration and more on curriculum development and teacher and coach development, which is what Jamie expressed to “really enjoy.”

Though Jamie’s family did not provide a lot of “coaching or support” about her options for career as she was growing up, she did mention that they were nevertheless,

“very supportive” of her plays and of her journey of finding her “own voice” and her

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“own path.” She also considers the influences of gender norms and roles in how her family responded to her acting as she mentioned: “There might have been more pressure on the men in my family to find a job and go do it, whereas as long as I found way to support myself I could, I didn’t get a whole lot of, like ‘When are you gonna get a job,

[Jamie]?’”. Though her brothers are creative, Jamie is the only one among her family members who pursued art as a career. As such, she felt “supported” and “able” to pursue and integrate her passion in art with her work, whereas her brothers “were a little more separate [in] their creative lives and how they’re making a living.” Along similar lines,

Jamie shared how her husband worked as an architect for 30 years before he retired “to be able to focus on art.” This was interesting to Jamie as she “did it the opposite way” by focusing on art first and then doing something different professionally.

Jamie now views her roles as artist and as educator as “interdependent.” She mentioned how she initially felt “a little stuck” engaging with my interview questions and that perhaps she did not “belong” in my study as she does not “make art right now.” She, however, still does view herself as an artist. In this respect, she discussed how her

“identity as an artist has shifted from being in the theatre to trying to create artful leadership development programs.” As such, her work involves taking in and

“balancing” all the experiences and interests of different people who come to learn about leadership from multiple sectors and various age groups and in turn “trying to create something that has a beginning, and a middle, and an end experience that’s really meaningful for people.” In this context, Jamie considers her background in theater “very helpful” and relevant to her teaching and coaching. This includes her roles and experiences of “both on the stage and in developing leadership capacity in others”

252 requiring her to “connect with another person” and “be in the moment with people.”

Moreover, the experiential nature of the courses she teaches draws from her experiences in theater. According to Jamie, leadership development and change happens in the space of “experience” as she also asserted: “You can’t tell somebody things and expect them to change.”

Jamie affirmed that she intentionally integrates her artistic experiences, skills and ways of viewing and being in the world as an artist with her teaching. In this respect, she described how her experiences in acting has influenced her approach to and methods of teaching as well as how she exercises leadership from her current role of formal authority. She mentioned:

I think I’ve been more willing to take risks than some and pretty suited to quick recovery when things don’t go as I may have planned or when I make an intervention and nothing happens, I can assess and try something else. Or if I make an intervention, and it doesn’t go the way I thought it would, it doesn’t throw me off a whole lot. Because it’s improvisation. (Jamie)

As a theater artist, Jamie also mentioned that she is familiar with the concept of “pace” as she assesses “the pace of the work [and] how to keep people engaged” as she would in a theatrical performance. She additionally shared that though her “natural inclination is to push people to want to engage” both “physically” in their moving and “in a kind of reflection,” she has “struggled a little bit” to know “how far” she would be able to “push

[her] system.”

To further describe how her roles as artist and as educator are interdependent,

Jamie referred back to her roles and work as an actor in Plasticene and the way she and her colleagues leveraged, used, and managed tension in the audience to help them experience something new as they are watching the plays. She mentioned how intense

253 the 45- to 55-minute shows would get, and how in “almost every performance,” and

“almost every weekend,” an audience member “would get up and leave because it was just too much for them.” In this respect, Jamie and her colleagues “didn’t necessarily want people to leave,” but they wanted them “to be on that edge of… experiencing something that [they have] never experienced before” and choosing to “stay.” Though different members of the audience had different levels of tolerance for tension, with some having to leave in the middle of a performance and others wanting more intensity, Jamie and her colleagues viewed their work as holding the audience in and through that space of tension and keeping them engaged. In her words: “Whatever we were doing as artists was to help them stay... we wanted them to stay in the room and be intrigued enough even while they were uncomfortable.” Jamie used this example of her work with

Plasticene to illustrate how she and her colleagues in leadership teaching have utilized and leveraged tension in the classroom to foster learning and development among their students. In this respect, their job was to “keep people in the room and uncomfortable, yet curious enough and reflective enough and resilient enough to be able to learn and grow.”

In either the theater or the classroom, for either the audience of a play or learners in a classroom, the space of tension is perhaps where transformation occurs or begins for people. Nevertheless, people also have different levels of tolerance for tension and hence, different reactions in that space and from that space. Jamie mentioned that her

“favorite thing” to do after a performance of Plasticene was “going to the bar afterwards and having people talk about what the play had meant to them” or “seeing a review and seeing who it resonated with and who it didn’t.” Based on how some people even left the

254 theater in the middle of their performance, there were, of course, a wide range of responses. Similarly, Jamie discussed how her current teaching with colleagues impacts people in different ways. She mentioned: “Sometimes you see big ah-has right there in the room, other times you talk to somebody later, and they say, ‘yeah, I walked out of there thinking this is worthless, but then when I got back, and I started seeing the world differently, several months later, now I’m saying it’s the best thing I ever did.’” Whether it be immediate or delayed, dramatically in the moment or incremental, transformation is what Jamie and her colleagues both in acting and in teaching have tried to provoke or facilitate among their audiences, and this is what inspires and drives Jamie in her work.

As Jamie reflected on her acting career from ages 15 to 40, from the perspective of what she has done over a broader span of years and how she has evolved over time, she shared how she has come to realize that her calling has been perhaps “not necessarily acting,” but rather “helping people connect to their true selves and use their voice to make a difference in the world.” In this respect, she mentioned that many of the plays in which she performed entailed “activating kind of political consciousness or critical thinking.” She also seems to have come to her own connection with her “true self” and use her voice as artist and as educator to “make a difference in the world.” From her personal life and social dimensions of her acting to her teaching of leadership, Jamie seems to be engaged in a continuous and intentional process of transforming hearts and minds. For her, this started with the art of acting, and her own learning with art has helped her grow, transform, and become who she is today and how she continues to make a difference.

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Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

The first experience Jamie mentioned involved her work with her former theater company Plasticine. She described their first show called “Door Slam” which involved a set of three doors and four actors and “piles and piles of newspapers.” With some of the costumes inspired by a short story by Dostoevsky, the show of 45 minutes or 55 minutes in duration was “intense” and “loud” with “odd music and lots of door slamming.” In this space, there was “no possibility” of “your mind being anywhere else and being successful” as “you could get hurt” if “your whole mind body” are not in tune with the other actors, to the set, and to the audience. She explained how “you she can’t depend on her mind [alone] because your mind would be “too slow,” and consequently, “you’ll get hit in the head by a door.” For Jamie, this play required all the actors to be incredibly attuned to themselves, one another, and the space around them. In her words, “It’s physical and it’s spiritual and it’s collaboration.” Another play had “steel tables flying through the air.” Similar to “Door Slam,” this required the actors to be “totally in tune” with themselves, each other, the set, and the music or it would not have worked. As

Jamie shared different examples of her performances with Plasticine, she expressed:

“When you are totally in tune, when everybody is totally in tune, it’s fabulous and transcendent.”

Performing in the plays and working with her co-actors in Plasticene helped Jamie learn how to be more deeply “attuned to” and “in tune with” others. This has helped her stay in tune with each and all of her colleagues and students in leadership development.

In this respect, Jamie mentioned that she works with several “fabulous people who bring lots of different backgrounds” and different “thinking” into the programs they are

256 creating together. As an analogy of they work together, she referred back to “Door

Slam” to illustrate how important it is for faculty to be “in tune with what’s going on for each participant or student” even in a large classroom of a 150 people. Moreover, her experience with physical theater has also helped her become more aware of “space” and how that would affect students as members of the teaching team facilitate at either the front of the room or at the back of room. Just as she and her colleagues did in Plasticene,

Jamie mentioned: “We have to use our body, mind to stay tuned in to the individual and stay tuned to the greater whole.” This kind of “tuning in” is also something she and her teaching try to model and foster among the students through their teaching. As such, much of what they teach covers how to “stay attentive to the very personal, the system, and the context and just stay curious about all of it” in the midst of “trying to make progress” on an adaptive challenge. This also involves attentive listening and the ability to “listen for the relevant details without getting bogged down by all the details.”

When asked to share how acting helped her grow or transform in a completely different way that shifted her view of yourself, shifted her view of the world, Jamie responded by saying that exactly was what drew her to acting “in the first place.” It helped her to “really get into somebody else’s motivation” and learn from that. As an example, she shared an experience from playing the role of Anne Sullivan in The Miracle

Worker twice, once when she was 16 years old and a second time when she was 24 or 25 years old. In her words, “just to be able to really get into what is the background and purpose and love that motivates somebody like Anne Sullivan and pain…” through playing her role helped Jamie “access” the “feelings and points of view” of others as well as her own “depths of feeling” that she became aware of and was able to express. She

257 referred to Plasticene again as a second example of her growth and transformation through art. For her, “the whole experience” of acting in Plasticene was “empowering partly because it was physically demanding.” At the age of 33, she “rose to that challenge.” Before the show, she was not able to do pushups. Now, she can do pushups and “still 25 years later.” She also shared how “the funniest” outcome of her transformation from Plasticine was that she “was no longer afraid of walking over a bridge in Chicago.” Finally, Jamie also mentioned how her work with About Face

Theatre was transformative. One of the company’s goals with About Face Youth Theatre was to build connection between parents and their LGBT kids, to help parents understand their LGBT kids better, and provide opportunities for adults in the LGBT community to

“connect with and mentor younger people in a safe and empowering environment.”

According to Jamie, “just being part of those stories, getting them out into the world in a beautiful accessible way” and “seeing” them with the “artistry of the directors and writers that [she] was working with” was “definitely transformative” for her, though she could not necessarily articulate “exactly how or why” it was transformative.

As a final illustration of how art helped shift Jamie’s perspectives and sense of identity, she shared a story of doing murder mysteries when she was in her 20s. At the time, she described how she was “probably pretty shy and not really so adept when it came to going to see agents or attending parties where people were mingling or getting

‘move and shake’ and ‘make the world’ connections, networks, that kind of thing.” For the murder mystery, she played the part of the CEO of a big consulting firm that got killed at a party. With her experience playing this role, she mentioned how she purchased “this great suit” and “dressed up” and went to a party “as the CEO and had a

258 great time improvising in [her] role.” After this time, she stated that she “was never worried about going to a networking event or party again.” For her, she “just clicked into that and it helped to be dressed right” and “it still does.” She further explained: “Through that character of that CEO, I was able to access that part of myself that’s comfortable with parties and that’s actually pretty extroverted and all that.” Jamie also mentioned that this helps her teach the leadership learning to “experiment beyond your comfort zone or make conscious choices about how [to] intervene” because people have “a choice” to know from “what purpose or role” they can “enter a leadership situation.” This, in turn, have helped her students “think about purpose and impact” more intentionally.

Teaching Leadership

According to Jamie, her role as educator “is about developing other people.”

Though she no longer teaches as much in the programs currently offered by her organization than she did before, she described how she would teach a certain segment of a two-and-a-half-day program that is designed for an audience of around 150 people, including people from nonprofit organizations, faith communities, businesses, K-12 education as well as higher education, elected officials, and civil servants. This course and other programs offered by Jamie’s organization teach “leadership as an activity.”

This draws from the work of adaptive leadership theorists Ronald Heifetz, Marty Linsky, and their colleagues and entails “mobilizing people to do adaptive work.” With this frame of reference, Jamie and her colleagues try to mobilize learning of leadership around “a set of four competencies that really came out of listening” to people in their local community and across their state. The purpose of their teaching entails that participants and their partnering organizations “get better results and make significant

259 progress on their adaptive challenges as individuals and teams, and that they lead more effectively” with the principles and competencies emphasized.

The organization in which Jamie works defines leadership as “mobilizing people to make progress on tough challenges or mobilizing people to do adaptive work.” She believes her personal definition aligns with that understanding as she shared how her initial attraction to working at her current institution was that she had already been teaching leadership in a way that emphasized “purpose” and mobilizing people toward a purpose. After several years of teaching, she now also views leadership from the perspective of “emergence” where leadership entails “helping insight and progress and possibility emerge from a group or a system, or a community, a team.” Even in her own practice of exercising leadership, she mentioned how she was trying to help everyone at her organization “do their best work” and be mobilized to move “in the same direction so that the possibility for excellence and impact is as high as it can possibly be.” Along the process of exercising leadership, she also mentioned having to “manage the process” so that their work “actually gets done.” In this respect, Jamie distinguished leadership from management. From her perspective, leadership “as mobilizing people to do tough, complex, adaptive work,” while management is “putting the processes in place” that includes meeting “deadlines.” Moreover, in an iterative way, leadership also entails in that process “making sure that whatever that process is,” that it also “has the best possibility of changing the world for the better.”

To teach leadership, Jamie and her colleagues use a variety of methods and activities to facilitate learning. In addition to case studies and structured peer coaching groups, Jamie highlight their method of “case-in-point” teaching, which originated and is

260 emphasized in the teaching of adaptive leadership by Ronald Heifetz, Marty Linsky, and their faculty associates. Case-in-point teaching, according to Jamie, uses the live

“classroom as a case” from which to learn leadership. Accordingly, this method of teaching is “based on the assumption that what happens out in the world in those places where people want to exercise leadership also happens in the system of the classroom.”

As such, students in this space are engaged to be “always looking for moments where there are opportunities to exercise leadership” as facilitators in the front and back of the classroom try to “elevate those opportunities either as they’re seized or missed” by the students. Here, the facilitators may publicly observe and analyze classroom dynamics, highlight “cases” that may emerge from the group experience, and “sometimes even provoke moments that can be useful for learning” in the classroom. In turn, students are given the opportunity to “practice new leadership behaviors” as they learn how to

“diagnose” what is happening in that system, “manage” themselves with greater awareness, and “intervene” in the system of their classroom in different ways.

Jamie discussed how case-in-point teaching also involves moderating or working from different levels of “heat” or intensity in the room. To illustrate, she shared an example of how she facilitated in case-in-point teaching with “medium heat” where she had to intervene in a group discussion. In the room, as the large group of participants were wrestling with a large and complex question about leadership, some members of the group turned to one individual participant who spoke frequently in the class and asked him what he would do. As he was about to answer the group, Jamie interrupted him and the group and told this person to “hold steady.” She then described the participant’s reaction:

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And he got it. Like, he got it. He didn’t ... He stops talking. He let the group do the work. He felt what it was like to not jump in rescue. And it was cool. It was a cool moment. (Jamie)

This was a learning moment for both the individual participant and the group that was starting to depend on him for their learning rather than taking collective responsibility.

Her intervention stopped the group in an unproductive pattern of learning and helped them become aware of what was happening in the room and engage in a different way.

For interventions, Jamie described how she would “see a person who is ready and who has put themselves out there for their own learning and for the learning of the group” and

“partner with that person” to help that person and the group learn by holding steady. In this respect, she also mentioned that her training and experiences “as an actor and an improviser and a physical theater artist” were helpful as she believes they have given her

“a good level of intuition about when an intervention like that will be useful.”

Jamie mentioned additional ways in which her background and experiences in acting have helped her with case-in-point teaching. According to Jamie, case-in-point teaching is “all improvisation,” and she is “not afraid to improvise.” She also has “no problem” showing up in multiple ways, “deploying [herself] differently,” and “playing different roles” as she looks for “opportunities to play with the audience or the group,” which she considers as having “a ton of experience with” in acting. Jamie also mentioned that not all of her interventions work out and that she herself had to learn how to “see the system and know when to intervene.” Nevertheless, she was very comfortable trying things out and learning from mistakes as she also shared that she has had “a lot of experience with failure” in acting. Failure is something Jamie became more tolerant of

262 through acting. This has helped her with the experimental nature of case-in-point teaching as she further explained:

I know that sometimes I’m gonna try something and it’s not gonna work and I’m gonna be able to keep my mind engaged when things go wrong. I think acting helps you a lot with that. You know, in front of people. Things will go wrong in front of people and you have to kind of hold steady. (Jamie)

Jamie also mentioned that she would not be the only facilitator who would engage with interventions as she works in a teaching team where all her other colleagues would also intervene and partner with participants. This requires them to improvise and be in tune with each other and participants in the room. Just the day before our first interview, she mentioned how she had recommended to one of her teaching colleagues to take an acting class to improve his capacity to improvise and tune in. From observing her colleague the other day, she was able to sense that “if he can just play a little bit with being in the moment in the class where there’s pressure,” and “if he can bring that kind of playfulness to the classroom and interactions with students,” he may become more comfortable with case-in-point teaching.

Jamie mentioned that acting has helped in her teaching that requires “being present and being in the moment.” Just like her intervention in case-in-point teaching,

Jamie engages in a significant amount of “coaching in the moment” with her corporate partners when she is facilitating alone. In her space of facilitation, she would encourage participants to imagine “what it would look like to do something differently, what managing themselves looks like in that moment.” She would also use stories as she explained how stories help people remember what they learned. Here, acting has also helped her tell stories. In addition, acting has helped her use the “space” more and be comfortable “moving” around a lot more in that space and throughout the space in

263 different parts of the room. As she shared how she may “move a lot more” than perhaps most people who teach, she also encourages her colleagues to move and use the space more as she described: “You know, they’re not doing cartwheels or anything but they’re in the aisles and they’re interacting with people maybe in a different way than you might see in every leadership development program.”

With all the examples of teaching she provided, Jamie affirmed that she intentionally integrates her artistic experiences, skills in ways of viewing and being in the world with her teaching. In addition to case-in-point teaching and coaching, she also collaborates with artists and invites them to engage with participants. In this respect, she provided another example of teaching where she invited a group of dancers from a local university to help her teach leadership concepts around “uncertainty and conflict.” The group of dancers included two dance professors and their students. Choreographed by one of the professors, they danced to a piece called “Dear Me.” Here, the group of dancers performed their piece in the audience and with the audience. This involved the dancers interacting with audience members and at one point touching an audience member to be their dance partner. Here, as participants had “a choice” around whether or not to engage or “how much” to engage,” this dance was used to help people think about how they would engage with “uncertainty and conflict” and how “available” they would be to people who are trying to “energize” or “mobilize” them and how “comfortable” they are with discomfort and “being in new situations.” According to Jamie, it was “a cool session,” which to her seemed to resonate for some people and not for others.

Nevertheless, she mentioned how she would like to “do more” of such an activity— integrating art with teaching.

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In the context of all their teaching, Jamie and her colleagues are “trying to create the possibility of transformation.” As such, shorter courses may probably offer “more insights and possibilities” for participants as part of an ongoing process towards transformation, while more advanced intensive courses of longer duration may offer greater likelihood of “real transformation” for participants even in the moment of their learning in the program. Here, Jamie elaborated that no matter when or what form or way transformation could happen, the hope of the teaching staff is that people would, at the least, be transformed in their views and assumptions of leadership. She mentioned:

We definitely want to transform the way people think about leadership from position to activity. And we want people to see that leadership is available to anyone, anytime no matter the level. If you have a purpose, and if you’re willing to stretch outside your comfort zone and do something differently, manage yourself better, you can intervene and possibly contribute to progress. (Jamie)

In our current context where norms and conventional theories of leadership have emphasized position and power, such a perspective allows leadership to be more accessible and available to everyone as a shared and collective responsibility. As such, it may also require a shift in not only understanding, but also mindset and behaviors. For example, if students are in a position of authority, this could involve “transformation in how they invite others into the work or their willingness to give the work back to other people or engage other people earlier in the process.” Jamie also mentioned how learning the concepts and framework of adaptive leadership have also been transformative for students. In this respect, many people have expressed that the abilities to “distinguish technical and adaptive work” and “put the issue at the middle instead of themselves as the leader in the middle” have been transformative. People have also mentioned that they are

265 asking “new kinds of questions” and “much more curious” in their interactions and conversations with others as they use what they learn “to make more progress.”

Jamie mentioned that her general hope is that people will walk away from her programs feeling empowered to exercise leadership right away rather than feeling like they “have to wait another ten years” before they can even think of themselves as being able to exercise leadership. Through their learning, Jamie has seen people “realize that their voice is needed, their question is needed, and that it’s worth trying to figure out how to get their point of view out there.” They may enter into the program believing that it wouldn’t matter if they didn’t speak up in class, but they may leave the program saying that they are “compelled” and “responsible” to speak up. In a few of their programs,

Jamie and her colleagues also use the “Immunity to Change” framework by constructive development theorist Robert Kegan to help people feel more agency over—take as

“object”—what they once felt deeply embedded in or “subject” to. Through this process, students may come to “seeing things differently” and “moving through the world in a different way” with “new possibilities” opening up for them.

Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

To the artists teaching their first leadership course, Jamie would first say “know what your mission is with the work or why you wanna do it.” As Jamie shared this advice, she recalled a time when she was working for an arts-related nonprofit organization and engaged in arts advocacy and lobbying training. In her efforts, she mentioned that she “really knew” what their mission was and why they were doing their work. She also viewed the work of arts advocacy as “part leadership” that involved people learning how to “go out there and lobby for your cause.” For this training, she

266 mentioned how she enjoyed writing a scene in a play about what “not to do when you meet with your state legislator.” Though it probably did not necessarily need to be included in the training, Jamie expressed how the idea emerged with a suggestion of a board member, she had a “really great time writing it” and then inviting people in the audience of the training to perform the scene. After certain individuals performed the scene, everyone else in the audience then shared what they thought these individuals did well, not very well, and what they might do better for next time. According to Jamie, it was “just a great conversation that came out of this little piece of theater that the audience performed.” In this respect, she mentioned how integrating this theatrical performance exercise “made that training different from anything anybody had ever seen partly because there was a funny scene and then partly because people in the audience got to act in it.” Here, the “learners got to act in it” and in the remainder of the piece, she was playing the role of the “advocacy expert” that her colleague had come up with. With this example, Jamie advises the emerging artist-educator to “know what your purpose is and put something of your art in the work.”

Building on the example she just provided, Jamie also encouraged emerging artist-educators to integrate what matters to them and what they already know into their work of leadership development. In this respect, she mentioned: “As you’re finding your feet and your voice as a leadership developer, put this thing that you’re either expert in or that you love into the work.” This, according to Jamie, “is the work of leadership development.” Moreover, she advises the artist-educators to not limit themselves and trust that even “just a little bit of art” with a non-artistic audience “can go a long way.”

She also cautions and recommends that they know their audience to discern how much art

267 to bring in, especially if they are working with a “really broad audience.” As Jamie has worked with a broad audience of people from all sectors, ranging from ages 22 to 80, and working at various levels of their organizations, she also acknowledged how she “can’t make it all art, all the time.”

To illustrate how “a little bit of art can go a long way,” Jamie shared an example of an exercise she calls “inside self, outside self” that uses masks and collage materials.

For this activity, participants are asked to bring in magazines and collage the inside of a blank mask that shows “who they are inside” as opposed to the outside of the mask that would convey “how the world sees me.” In her words, “you don’t have to put art through the whole session,” but one segment of a session or one session in a program can be very impactful. Moreover, it is also important to know the audience and consider to what extent members of the audience may feel “threatened” by the activities they may be asked to do as even “getting up and moving around in the space, it’s not dancing, but it’s more than people usually do in their work life or in the kind of training that most people are connected to.” Other “little bits of art” could involve “mapping their logic model or their leadership journey on a big sheet of paper” or even “putting a colored pen on paper” can be “insightful” and “inspiring” and “open up things for a non-artist” that to the artist- educator may seem artistically trivial.

On the flip side, Jamie also suggests artist-educators who want to bring in a lot more art into their teaching to first “tell people and prepare people and recruit people based on that communicated expectation.” In this respect, it is essential not to “surprise” people and “know what your sponsor is comfortable with.” No “harm” may be done

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“either way,” but Jamie encourages more thoughtfulness and consideration of the audience as possibilities are considered. In her words:

Don’t limit your imagination about what’s possible to bring in, but be judicious and thoughtful about who your audience is and how much they’re gonna be able to handle, and remember what your bigger purpose is. Your purpose is not to make them artists or to show off how artistic you are. Your purpose is to help them gain skills and make more progress. (Jamie)

Here, Jamie reiterates and reemphasizes purpose. As she did in her training for art advocacy and lobbying, starting with the purpose and remembering it throughout the teaching is essential. It will help ground both the audience and the instructor to learning and growing leadership capacity.

The final advice Jamie would give to artists teaching their leadership course is to stay in touch with who they are as artists and to find places to continue creating and practicing their artistry. In her own journey, she mentioned how she stayed engaged with art and art-based engagements over the years. In her view, artist-educators must “lead with their art. Because there will always be ideas and moments that contribute to leadership development that only you, with your artist’s intuition, can see.”

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Chapter V

ANALYSIS OF PORTRAITS AND SYNTHESIS

This chapter analyzes findings across the eight portraits created and presented in the previous chapter. As mentioned in earlier chapters, the purpose of this study was to understand how artists teach leadership and thereby move beyond existing technical and conceptual knowledge of arts-based methods in leadership teaching to learning more about the artists who have inspired or used such methods. In this respect, eight individuals who self-identified as both artists and faculty members teaching leadership courses in academic institutions or adult professional development programs were studied and presented through portraits in the previous chapter. In this endeavor, I sought to explore to what extent and how artists who are also adult educators in academic and professional development settings integrate their roles, skills, experiences, and ways of making meaning to facilitate learning in leadership courses. I also endeavored to examine to what extent and how their personal learning journeys have influenced their teaching. With these intents, this study addressed the following research questions:

1. To what extent and how do self-defined artists who teach leadership courses in

academic institutions and adult professional development programs integrate their

artist selves in teaching leadership?

a. To what extent do these individuals view their roles and identities as

artists and educators as integrated?

b. To what extent and how do these individuals intentionally integrate their

artistic skills and way of engagement with the arts with their teaching?

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c. In what ways do their experiences and backgrounds as artists influence

what they teach, how they describe and design the course, how they

interact with students, and what learning they are trying to facilitate

among their students?

2. To what extent and how have these artists’ personal learning journeys with art,

including ones which they perceive as transformative, influenced their teaching

and ways of being as educators?

a. What personal learning experiences with art have influenced their

teaching?

b. To what extent and how have their personal learning journeys with art

influenced their approach to teaching and ways of being as educators?

To address these questions, I used a method of portraiture (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis,

1997) embedded in the design of an exploratory interview study with narrative inquiry.

Data were collected through one or two in-depth interviews with each participant. Each transcript was coded and analyzed using the qualitative software Dedoose to identify emergent themes. These emergent themes became structural headings to scaffold and construct each portrait. Data were triangulated with observations of live or recorded teachings or photos of course activities, a review of course syllabi that each participant shared, and other sources and artifacts. Reflections on live interactions—what could be considered parts of an “Impressionistic Record” that Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis

(1997) describe as documented reflections that would uncover patterns, interpretations, shifts in perspective, insights, and connections—with each participant were also integrated into each portrait.

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Cross-Portrait Analysis

To analyze the findings, I conducted a “cross-portrait analysis,” which is analogous to, and used interchangeably in this study with the procedure of “cross-case analysis.” As mentioned in chapter three, I also conducted a thematic cross-case analysis across all the portraits, which shared common emergent themes. This approach was informed by Mondo (2014) and Liu Wong (2015). As a slight variation to the approaches of Mondo (2014) and Liu Wong (2015), however, I took an extra step to code and analyze portraits for cross-portrait analysis of themes rather than analyze findings from the first stage of coding interviews. In this respect, I engaged in a two-stage, multi-level, process of coding and analysis. As such, review and analysis of interview transcripts in relation to the research and semi-structured interview questions, along with triangulation of data collected from observations and documents that were embedded in portraits, initially revealed four emergent themes, which became structural headings that provided a guiding structure to organize and construct each portrait. These structural headings are:

(1) The Artist-Educator

(2) Learning with Art: Personal growth and transformation

(3) Teaching Leadership

(4) Implications: Advice for the emerging artist-educator

These four structural headings served to both scaffold the narratives of participants and illuminate convergence in how each participant’s experiences and perspectives fit together to create a more generalizable and “whole” understanding around how artists in this study teach leadership. Once the structural headings were

272 established from the first stage of coding interview transcripts, portraits were constructed.

In the second stage, each portrait was coded and analyzed across each structural heading to consider to what extent and how the narratives presented in the portraits of participants converged and diverged according to theme. Each structural heading is analyzed and discussed below, followed by a synthesis that views all themes together as a “whole” and discusses dimensions of findings that were most salient.

The Artist-Educator

The first research question explored to what extent and how artists in this sample teach leadership courses in academic institutions and adult professional development programs integrate their roles, skills, experiences, and ways of making meaning as artists in their approaches to teaching leadership. To address this question, participants were asked to describe their background and experiences as artists and how they view their roles and identities as artists and as educators. As such, this first structural heading of

“The Artist-Educator” explores participant narratives as they relate to their artistic background and experiences and the degree to which participants viewed their roles and identities as artists and educators as integrated or separate. To help guide the reader, this heading is subsequently divided into three “organizing” themes to organize and discuss categorical themes that emerged from the thematic cross-portrait analysis. These organizing themes are: (1) formation and roles as artist; (2) formation and roles as educator; and (3) artist-educator roles and identities. These organizing themes and associated categorical themes are further discussed below.

Formation and roles as artist. This organizing theme emerged from the identification and clustering of three categorical themes that emerged from the thematic

273 cross-portrait analysis. These categorical themes include: (1) a description of participants’ primary and secondary art mediums; (2) the presence of art in participants’ family, childhood, and adolescence; and (3) the influences of art teachers and art classes.

Description of sample in relation to art medium. Eight participants were chosen for the construction of portraits. They each considered themselves currently both educators and artists according to different art mediums. Some referred to their artistry and ways of being as an artist according to only one artistic medium, while others referred to multiple art mediums. Nevertheless, they all did have one primary art medium that they mentioned as being the most experienced in and currently passionate about.

Several participants had a secondary art medium that they referred to frequently or at least once in reference to how it impacted their teaching. The description of the sample in relation to art mediums came out of interviews with each participant. Figures 5.1 and

5.2 depict the representation of primary and secondary art mediums of each participant.

As Figure 5.1 shows, most participants in the sample of the study consider music as their primary art medium. In this respect, Shannon, Sofie, and Stefan are musicians.

Shannon is a member of a punk rock band, Sofie plays the violin, and Stefan is a composer. Illiana and Parker are visual artists. In this respect, Illiana primarily makes collage sculptures while Parker focuses on mosaic art. Jamie and Irini are theater actors and performers. Jamie pursued a long career in theater acting, while Irini considered

“performance” as her primary art medium and not necessarily exclusive to theater acting.

Baila is a dancer who was formally trained in ballet, modern, and jazz and now looks at movement more broadly in relation to her work as she continues to dance at a studio.

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Primary Art Medium

Dance 12% Visual Art 25%

Theater & Music Performance 38% 25%

Figure 5.1 Participants’ Primary Art Medium

Secondary Art Medium

Dance Visual Art 12% 13% Music 12% Poetry 25% Not Mentioned 38%

Figure 5.2 Participants’ Secondary Art Medium

Figure 5.2 conveys the secondary art mediums of each participant. Majority of participants (Shannon, Illiana, and Stefan) explicitly did not mention any other art medium in their practice. Parker and Irini mentioned poetry as their secondary art medium. For Parker, poetry was her outlet when she was initially discouraged in

275 childhood from pursuing visual art. For Irini, poetry is something she is coming to recognize and embrace in relation to the lyrical and metaphorical approach to writing and performing. As a director and curator of an art gallery who has taken visual art classes as an adult, Sofie is now coming to embrace herself as a visual artist and writer, while she continues to play the violin in the orchestra. Jamie’s focus has been on theater acting and performance, but she did explicitly mention a period in which she danced alongside of her acting and her use of movement and collaboration with dancers to teach leadership.

Though dance is her primary medium and where she feels most naturally drawn to, Baila played the violin, whether in orchestra or duet performances, with her sister throughout their childhood and adolescence. Baila no longer plays the violin, while her sister continues to play and now teaches violin. In addition to dance and music, Baila also learned and incorporate the martial art of Aikido in her teaching.

In addition to artistic medium, participants also shared elements and aspects of their background and experiences with art that shaped how they viewed themselves as artists today. Figure 5.3 depicts a word cloud of the most commonly applied codes for participants’ journeys as artists. Definition of applied codes are provided in Appendix F.

The colors in the word cloud, along with all word clouds in this study, were automatically and randomly generated by Dedoose according to a color scheme that I was able to choose. Specific colors were not assigned by researcher and not attributable to a particular characteristic or category of data.

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Figure 5.3 Word Cloud of Participants’ Artistic Background and Influences

As Figure 5.3 suggests, the presence and influences of family artists were a significant part of participant backgrounds as artists, and experiences with art in childhood and adolescence were also very formative. Figure 5.4 provides more detail on formal influences of each participant’s formation as artists.

Family Artists Art in Childhood Art in Adolescence Art in College Art Teacher Influence Career Artist Adult Art Classes Formal Art Degrees

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35

Baila Illiana Irini Jamie Parker Shannon Sofie Stefan

Figure 5.4 Participant Formation as Artists

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Art in family, childhood, and adolescence. In alignment with the Word Cloud in

Figure 5.3, Figure 5.4 depicts the influence or presence of family artists as the most commonly shared, or most frequently emphasized, across the portraits of all participants, followed by experiences with art in childhood and adolescence being the next commonly shared or most frequently emphasized in their journey as artist-educators. Baila’s mother is a visual artist, her sister is a musician, and her daughter is a film editor that is getting more involved with videography. She mentioned strong influences of her mother and many experiences of playing music with her sister in the course of her own artistic formation from childhood to adulthood. Illiana’s parents may not necessarily identify as artists in the traditional western sense, but she describes their creative and aesthetic senses and nature of work that to her made them artists in her eyes. Her husband is also an artist as are their children. Irini’s father was a singer and maker of jewelry, and her mother was an artist in the sense of fashion. Members of her extended family, including her grandmother, were also artists. Jamie is married to a visual artist and has several brothers who are also artists. Her father was also a writer. Parker’s wife is an artist.

Shannon started a punk rock band with his children, and his wife is a photographer.

Details of Stefan’s family or Sofie’s family background in arts were not ascertained from the interviews conducted. Stefan did explicitly mention that his parents were not artistic, and Sofie focused on the spiritual work of her parents. They did not provide further information about their spouses or children. Furthermore, the absence of the applied code of family artists in the first segment of their portrait as artist-educators does not necessarily imply that they do not have members of their family who are artists or did not feel that they were influenced by family as these coding results may be reflective of the

278 fact that they conducted only one in-depth interview with me, while additional questions about family artists were asked in second semi-structured interviews.

Art teachers and art classes. In addition to family artists, several participants mentioned the presence and influence of art teachers and art classes they took as adults.

Five participants, Baila, Illiana, Irini, Parker, and Stefan, described how specific art teachers in childhood and adolescence as well as into college and adulthood impacted their journey as artists and influenced their current artistry and teaching. One participant,

Jamie, was explicitly a career artist for a significant part of her life, and four participants,

Baila, Illiana, Jamie, and Stefan hold formal art degrees from undergraduate and graduate studies. Two participants, Baila and Parker, mentioned art classes they took as an adult as significant to their awakening and formation as artists. One participant, Sofie, also mentioned a specific experience of transformative learning in a summer art program, and this is captured in the emergent theme of “Learning with Art: Personal Growth and

Transformation” discussed in the next section. Four participants, Baila, Jamie, Shannon, and Stefan, also described college experiences as part of their journey as artists. One participant, Illiana, also discussed her awakening as an artist in college, and this is also captured under the emergent theme of “Learning with Art: Personal Growth and

Transformation” where specific incidents and processes of transformative learning and growth are discussed.

Formation and roles as educator. Alongside their artistry, participants identified elements and aspects of their background and experiences that shaped their teaching or how they viewed their work as educators. This organizing theme emerged from the identification and clustering of three categorical themes that emerged from the

279 thematic cross-portrait analysis. These categorical themes include: (1) formative influences and teaching roles; (2) prior professional roles; (3) and teaching with formal authority.

Figure 5.5 depicts a word cloud of the most commonly applied codes for participants’ journeys as educators. Some codes, such as multicultural experiences, cultural experiences, career shifts, adult life transitions, and faith and spirituality, apply to influences that may have affected participants in both their artistry and their teaching, and these codes were replicated to produce word clouds for both figures. As mentioned earlier, the colors in all word clouds of this study were automatically generated by

Dedoose and not in accordance with a particular category or attribution of the data.

Figure 5.5 Word Cloud of Participants’ Formations and Work as Educators

As Figure 5.5 suggests, participants viewed their work as educators primarily as teaching adults, which is a byproduct of the selection criteria for participating in this study.

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Formative influences and teaching roles. Along their journey towards teaching adults, participants mentioned prior professional work and roles as most influential to their teaching, followed by the formative influences of their faculty role, formal training in adult education, work in leadership development, culture and multicultural experiences, faith and spirituality, career shifts, and adult life transitions. Some participants described how their doctoral dissertation significantly influenced who they are as educators and their approach to teaching. Figure 5.6 provides additional detail of both descriptive aspects and formative influences in participant journeys and roles as educators. Their specific approaches to teaching are further discussed under the emergent theme of “Teaching Leadership.”

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40

Prior Professional Work and Roles Leadership in Organizations Teaching Adults Leadership Development Facilitator and Coach Faculty Role in Academic Institution Formal Training in Adult Education Doctoral Dissertation Family Educators

Baila Illiana Irini Jamie Parker Shannon Sofie Stefan

Figure 5.6 Formative Influences and Description of Work and Roles as Educators

Figure 5.6 is aligned with the Word Cloud in Figure 5.5 in the way that it portrays all eight participants viewing their work as teaching adults, among which two participants,

Jamie and Stefan, described their teaching of leadership in relation to their roles as facilitator and coach. Other participants also mentioned coaching and facilitating in

281 relation to their teaching, yet though they engaged in these activities as part of their teaching, these were not as salient in how they viewed their roles as educators and how their particular portraits addressed the emergent theme of “The Artist-Educator.” As such, the dimension of facilitation and coaching is further examined under the emergent theme of “Teaching Leadership.” All participants identified as leadership educators, which is another byproduct of the participant selection criteria. Among them, three participants, Baila, Jamie, and Sofie, in particular emphasized leadership development as part of their educator formation and teaching emphasis under the emergent theme of “The

Artist-Educator.” The way in which all participants teach leadership and what they emphasize in leadership teaching is further discussed under the emergent theme of

“Teaching Leadership.” Four participants, Baila, Illiana, Irini, and Sofie, mentioned the formative influences of their formal training in adult education whether in theology or adult education, while five participants, Baila, Illiana, Parker, Sofie, and Stefan, referred to their dissertation work as crucible steps along their journey to teaching. Irini’s dissertation journey was also quite influential, and her experience was considered transformative and hence further discussed under the emergent theme of “Learning with

Art: Personal Growth and Transformation.” Three participants, Baila, Jamie, and Sofie, mentioned the formative influences of one or both of their parents as educators in how they learned and taught others to learn at home, served as teachers in school systems, or nurtured faith in Christian ministry.

Prior professional roles. Prior professional roles also played a significant role in the artist-educator journeys of six participants, Baila, Illiana, Jamie, Parker, Shannon, and

Sofie. Irini also mentioned prior experiences of teaching leadership, particularly with

282 young women, before her current role as a faculty member in her current institution, but it was not a salient feature under the emergent theme of “The Artist-Educator” in her portrait and rather explored under the emergent theme of “Teaching Leadership.”

Teaching with formal authority. Whether in relation to prior professional experiences or current roles, five participants, Jamie, Parker, Shannon, Sofie, and Stefan, also referred to their roles and work in terms of exercising leadership with formal authority in their organizations in relation to their journey as artist-educators and how they teach leadership. All participants teach leadership as faculty members in academic institutions or professional development programs, which is an additional byproduct of the participant selection criteria. Moreover, all participants have taught at least once as faculty in an academic institution. The portraits of six participants, Illiana, Irini, Jamie,

Shannon, Sofie, and Stefan in particular, emphasized their context and roles as faculty members teaching in academic institutions, as part of how they viewed their journeys and work as artist-educators.

Artist-educator roles and identities. This organizing theme emerged from the identification and clustering of two categorical themes that emerged from the thematic cross-portrait analysis. These categorical themes illuminate to what extend artist- educators viewed their respective roles and identities as integrated or separate. The analysis revealed two categorical themes that described participants viewing their artist- educator roles and identities in terms of (a) integration, interdependence, and separation and as (b) interdependent and intertwined.

To assess to what extent they viewed their roles and identities as artists and as educators as integrated, participants were asked to first describe their roles and identities

283 as artists and educators, with additional probing questions to explore how these roles and identities connected or interacted with one another. Figure 5.7. depicts how each participant viewed their identity and roles.

Baila

Illiana

Irini

Jamie

Parker

Shannon

Sofie

Stefan

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 Educator Role & Identity Artist Role & Identity Integrated Artist-Educator Interdependent Artist-Educator Separate Artist vs Educator Artist-Educator Similarities Hidden Artist Identity

Figure 5.7 Artist-Educator Roles and Identities

Integration, interdependence, and separation. All participants viewed their artist-educator roles and identities as either integrated or interdependent, while some participants viewed these as completely separate either currently or at some point along their teaching career. Figure 5.7 provides a breakdown of how the portraits of each participant depicted participants’ roles and identities as artists and as educators and these respective roles and identities in relation to one another. Figure 5.8 provides a more focused look at how each participant viewed their roles and identities as artists and as educators in relation to one another.

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0 Baila Illiana Irini Jamie Parker Shannon Sofie Stefan

Integrated Artist-Educator Interdependent Artist-Educator Separate Artist vs Educator

Figure 5.8 Artist-Educator Integration

As conveyed in Figures 5.7 and 5.8, most participants, all with the exception of Stefan, recognized some degree of integration in their roles and identities as artists and as educators. In this respect, two participants, Illiana and Sofie, have always viewed their roles and identities as artist-educators as completely and exclusively integrated, while four participants, Baila, Irini, Parker, and Shannon, have viewed their artist-educator roles and identities as separate at some point along their journey before they became integrated. Among these four participants, Shannon has primarily and has currently viewed his roles and identities as artist and as educator as separate and intentionally so in his mind. Nevertheless, as Figure 5.7 depicts, he has also identified a comparable degree of similarity between these roles and identities even though they are primarily separate to him and seems to have accepted some integration in more recent years. In efforts to keep their artist-educator roles and identities separate, three participants, Baila, Irini, and

Shannon, have mentioned having hidden their identities in earlier stages of their career

285 out of fear that they would not be taken seriously as educators or in efforts to protect their artistry and enjoy more freedom as artists.

Interdependent and intertwined. Four participants, Irini, Jamie, Shannon, and

Stefan, have recognized both points of integration and points of distinction in their artist- educators roles and identities and have described these roles and identities as interdependent and intertwined where these actively interact with and complement one another in their distinctive dimensions.

Learning with Art: Personal Growth and Transformation

The second research question explored to what extent and how participants’ personal learning journeys with art, including ones which they have perceived as transformative, influenced their teaching and ways of being as educators. Figure 5.9 conveys in a word cloud the most common words, phrases, and concepts participants used to describe their experiences of learning with art and thereby illustrated in their portraits as such under the structural heading of “Learning with Art: Personal Growth and

Transformation.” Figure 5.10 reveals in a word cloud of key factors that contributed to participants’ transformative learning with art. From my cross-portrait analysis of this structural heading, three categorical themes emerged, which are further discussed below.

These categorical themes are: (1) transformation as a prevailing perceived outcome; (2) confidence in teaching; and (3) multiple factors in transformative learning with art. The categorical theme contain several categorical sub-themes, which are further discussed.

Transformation as a prevailing perceived outcome. As the image suggests, much of participants’ learning with art entailed shifts in perspectives and identity, especially in the course of their awakening as artists, as well as wholeness and integration

286 as they began to accept and integrate different parts of themselves they had compartmentalized or split off before. For some participants, their learning with art entailed transformation, while for others it involved their own development of capacities and skills for teaching. Some participants mentioned how their learning with art shifted their artistic purpose to one of social responsibility and impact. With respect to transformative experiences with art, some participants, like Irini, Parker, and Sofie, viewed it as a gradual process, while others recalled specific catalytic moments. Three participants, Illiana, Irini, and Sofie also viewed transformation as a continual process.

The ways in which participants experienced transformation share both common and distinct characteristics. These characteristics can also be applied to the typology of transformative learning that Hoggan (2016) offers. This typology is applied to self- reported experiences of transformation by participants in my sample. These are summarized in Table 5.1 with examples of participant experiences that match the typology. Hoggan (2016) provides definitions and offers greater detail for each typology in his study.

Confidence in teaching. In describing the way in which their learning with art impacted their teaching, participants primarily referred to how their learning impacted their students as they became more confident as artists and started owning their identities as artists and integrating them with their identities as educators in their teaching. This in turn, allowed them to be more open and creative in their teaching and more confident as educators as they increasingly used and integrated more art in their leadership teaching.

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Table 5.1 Self-reported Transformation Applied to Typology (Hoggan, 2016)

Self-reported Experiences of Transformation Transformative Learning Outcome Type (Hoggan 2016) Perspective shift: Changes in Worldview: • Changes in assumptions and beliefs about • Assumptions, beliefs, attitudes, expectations teaching and approach to artmaking and teaching • Ways of interpreting experience (e.g. confronting bi-furcated thinking) • More comprehensive and complex worldview • Changes in attitudes towards work (e.g. having • New awareness / new understandings fun, becoming more intrinsically motivated) • Acceptance and embrace of failure and mistakes Changes in Epistemology: as valuable to learning • More Discriminating • What was not possible before, is now possible • More Open • Letting go of perfection Identity shift: Changes in Self: • Acceptance of artist identity • Identity / View of Self • Integration of identities as artist-educator (and • Self-in-Relation artist-theologian for one participant) • Personal narratives • Confidence as artist and as educator • Meaning / Purpose • Becoming social change agent Social change and impact: Changes in Self: • Creating for social change and impact (new • Empowerment / Responsibility artistic purpose) • Meaning / Purpose • Teaching / leading for social change and impact Changes in Behavior: • Social Action Awakening and encounter with art: Changes in Self: • Awaking and emerging as artist • Identity / View of Self • Learning as artist • Self-in-Relation • Learning in community • Empowerment / Responsibility • Whole body (multi-sensory) experiences • “Soul work” Changes in Epistemology: • Healing through art • More Discriminating • Connecting with heart, mind-body integration • Utilizing Extra-Rational Ways of Knowing • Nonverbal communication • More Open

• Making and viewing art as spiritual edification Changes in Ontology: • Joy in making art • Affective Experience of Life • Owning and taking ownership of artist identity, • Ways of being despite initial internal or social resistance • Catalyzing change, creating generative spaces Changes in Capacity: • Art as social practice • Spirituality • Continuous transformation • Consciousness • Cognitive Development Changes to teaching philosophy and methods: Changes in Behavior: • Integrating art with teaching • Professional Practices • Creating generative spaces • Skills • Authenticity in teaching and not holding back • Actions Consistent with New Perspective artist • More openness and vulnerability as leader and Changes in Ontology: as educator • Affective Experience of Life • Teaching and leading from a place of love • Ways of Being

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Figure 5.9 Word Cloud of Participants’ Journeys of Learning with Art

Figure 5.10 Word Cloud of Key Factors in Transformative Learning with Art

Multiple factors in transformative learning with art. Transformative learning with art does not happen in the same way or does it happen in only one way or from one source. Several key factors contributed to each participant’s transformation with art, as portrayed in Figure 5.10. These factors have been organized into the following six categorical sub-themes. This categorical sub-themes include: (1) art as experience; (2)

289 art classes and teachers; (3) learning in community; (4) personal life and faith; (5) academic influences; and (6) advancement in technology. These are further discussed below.

Art as experience. Among the factors portrayed in Figure 5.10, all participants frequently referred to sensory and aesthetic experiences as contributing to their transformative learning with art. Parker, for example, mentioned her experience of experiencing a “flow state” with mosaic art, while Shannon described his experiences of joy and pleasure in a different “state of being” while playing music. Irini shared an embodied experience of a performance “coming out of her,” and Jamie described her transcendent experience of acting “in tune with” other actors in a physically demanding show. Illiana shared how making art in the studio was spiritually and personally edifying as Sofie described her aesthetic encounters with the beauty of creation on a college road trip. Baila emphasized visceral experiences in being able to express and connect with herself nonverbally through dancing. Stefan described how the aesthetic and sensory experiences audience members had while listening to music he composed was transformative for both those who listened and him as a composer in how the purpose of his art shifted to one of social responsibility and impact. Illiana, Irini, Jamie, Sofie, and

Stefan mentioned the significance of personally connecting to and allowing deep emotional resonance with works of art to learn, whether it be their own artmaking or engaging with the work of other artists.

Art classes and teachers. In addition to sensory and aesthetic encounters, many participants both mentioned and emphasized particular experiences in art classes and their learning from other artists as especially impactful in their journey of personal

290 growth and transformation. For example, Illiana mentioned her experience of recognizing her “mother tongue” in visual art in an art class she took in college, while

Parker mentioned her blossoming as a visual artist in drawing classes and mosaic art workshops and apprenticeships. Sofie mentioned a series of transformative encounters in one transformative experience of participating in a summer art program that focused on social practice and public intervention. Stefan mentioned how his early experiences as a composer in training with a well-known composer shifted his views of creating as a continual process of development and teaching as way to foster growth in skills and capacity.

Learning in community. Illiana emphasized the significant way in which her study of an artist as the subject of her dissertation impacted both her artistry and her teaching. Learning in community was a significant influence especially for Sofie who felt validated as an artist by others in community, including the community of artists that was formed in the summer program she took with the School of Visual Arts.

Personal life and faith. For Illiana and Sofie, faith and spirituality were significant influences along their journey as they frequently referred to their formation and teaching, as well as transformation with art in relation to their faith and spirituality.

Illiana also frequently mentioned her experiences of living in tension with the complexities of her bicultural upbringing and the bi-furcated thinking she frequently had to confront in her work, which was a crucial aspect of her journey as artist-educator and what has influenced her art and teaching.

Academic influences. A few participants mentioned college experiences and the influences of academic mentors, and doctoral dissertation work along their transformative

291 journey with art. With respect to the transformative encounters during a doctoral dissertation process, Irini mentioned a door that was opened by an academic mentor for her to blossom as a performer as she presented her dissertation research to recruit participants, while Illiana frequently referred to the subject of her dissertation as significantly influencing her art and teaching.

Advances in technology. For Shannon, the way in which advances in technology expanded his own capacity and mindset to be more experimental was also transformative as it shifted his view of making music and sharing music with the world.

Teaching Leadership

In addition to the way in which participants viewed their roles and identities as artists and as educators, I explored to what extent and how participants intentionally integrate their artistic skills and way of engagement with the arts with their leadership teaching along with how their experiences and backgrounds as artists influence what they teach, how they describe and design their courses, how they interact with students, and what learning they are trying to facilitate among their students. Accordingly, this structural heading of “Teaching Leadership” explores definitions of leadership as well as approaches and methods participants use to teach their course and the learning outcomes they seek to foster among their students. Similar to the first structural heading, teaching leadership can be broadly interpreted and broadly analyzed from multiple angles. As such, this section is divided into three “organizing” themes to organize the categorical themes that emerged from the thematic cross-portrait analysis and focus and guide the reader. These organizing themes are: (1) definitions of leadership; (2) teaching

292 approaches and methods; and (3) intended learning outcomes. These organizing themes and associated categorical themes are further discussed below.

Definitions of leadership. Before participants described their specific approaches to teaching leadership, they were first asked to define leadership and management as a way for me to consider how participants’ assumptions around leadership could impact the way they would teach leadership and what they would emphasize in their teaching. Figure 5.11 provides two distinct word clouds side by side of the words and concepts participants used to define leadership and compare their definition with their understanding of management.

Leadership is not management. Aligning with Zaleznik (1977/2004), Kotter

(1990a), Bennis (2003) and several others who differentiate leadership from management, all participants unanimously considered leadership as distinct from management, and most participants did not teach management. As conveyed in the image and explained in the additional categorical themes below it is clear that leadership and management are distinct in both function and emphasis. These distinctions have been important to consider as some may view leadership as analogous to management in certain contexts (Drucker, 2001) and some may consider management education encompassing leadership development, which Minzberg (2009) may support.

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Leadership Management

Figure 5.11 Leadership vs Management

Leadership as communal activity. As distinct from management, leadership seems to emphasize a more communal approach that involves “shared activity and responsibility” and “mutually transforming power,” is more fluid in the way that people are empowered, mobilized, and moved towards a “shared purpose”, and more emotional and creative in the sense of including “imagination,” “curiosity,” “love,” and “abiding care” on the part of those exercising leadership.

Defining and teaching management. Management, unlike leadership, seems to be more fixed and individualized in the way in which it is “task focused” and centered on fixed positions of authority and position as it is procedural and involves managing the process. Participants in this study had very strong reactions to management and management education. While some participants, like Stefan, considered the useful

294 distinctions and integrated both into his teaching, other participants, like Irini, explicitly discussed an intentional choice not to teach management.

Teaching approaches and methods. All participants use a variety of methods and approach to teaching leadership, and their portraits also convey the diverse ways in which leadership is taught. Nevertheless, across varied styles, methods, and approaches, there were also commonalities. Figure 5.12 conveys methods and approaches that are collectively represented and commonly emphasized across all participants.

Figure 5.12 Teaching Approaches and Methods

Experiential learning as central and encompassing. As the word cloud suggests, experiential learning and arts-integrated learning were among the most salient aspects of teaching leadership. Embodiment and embodied learning was also emphasized

295 and overlaps with experiential learning. Somatic and whole-body learning, specifically and primarily mentioned by Baila, is also embedded in experiential learning and overlaps to a certain degree with embodiment and embodied learning that Illiana also discussed.

Relationships and collaboration. Learning in community was also among the most salient aspects of leadership teaching across participants. In addition, some participants co-teach their courses as a deliberate way to model collaboration and leverage differing strengths. Other aspects of teaching include coaching and mentoring and inquiry and dialogue, which also take place in context of relationships. Some participants also described their teaching as facilitation, which leveled their power distance with students and allowed them to collaborate with their students in their learning space rather than taking a more directive approach. This in turn seemed to foster community and learning within that space of relationships.

Adaptive leadership. Two participants in particular, Jamie and Stefan, were trained in adaptive leadership and specifically referred to the framework of adaptive leadership and its assumptions around leadership as “an activity” as well as the use of

“case-in-point teaching,” which is a specific method of teaching embedded in and originating from the teaching of adaptive leadership. Figure 5.13 provides a more detailed breakdown of approaches and methods used by each participant.

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Learning in Community Arts-integrated Learning Project-based Learning Experiential Learning Modeling Embodiment and Embodied Learning Classroom Discussion Online Teaching Facilitation Co-Teaching Lecturing Inquiry and Dialogue Multiple Mediums and Resources Narrative Disclosure Case Studies Somatic and Whole-Body Learning Storytelling Coaching and Mentoring Place-based Approach Adaptive Leadership Case-in-Point Teaching 0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40

Baila Illiana Irini Jamie Parker Shannon Sofie Stefan

Figure 5.13 Teaching Approaches and Methods by Participant

As Figure 5.13 suggests, in alignment with the word cloud in Figure 5.12, experiential learning is the most dominant method that is emphasized and used across all participants, followed by learning in community, which all participants integrated and emphasized in their teaching. Arts-integrated methods was used by seven out of eight participants, with the exception of Stefan, who does not necessarily integrate art in his teaching to frame or facilitate learning around certain concepts though he does engage in the experiential method of “case-in-point” teaching. Modeling was considered both embedded in and distinct from embodiment and embodied learning as the latter includes students learning concepts and theories by embodying or experiencing them, while the former could focus solely what the instructor does as opposed to what students do in the

297 classroom. Lecturing and case studies were the least emphasized and utilized across all participants. With the varied methods and approaches participants use in their teaching, different elements, contexts, and activities are also emphasized by participants as they facilitate experiential learning, integrate arts-based methods, and foster community.

These are depicted in a word cloud in Figure 5.14.

Figure 5.14 Teaching Emphasis

As Figure 5.14 conveys, transformative learning is the most salient, followed by reflection, practical application, and creating conditions and spaces, as important emphases and elements of teaching leadership. Collaboration and working with diverse learners were also frequently mentioned as part of leadership teaching along with efforts to bridge theory and practice, which overlaps to some degree with practical application.

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From how the instructors model this in the classroom through narrative disclosure and storytelling and what they encourage among students, openness and vulnerability is also considered among the essential elements of teaching leadership.

Intended learning outcomes. As participants use a variety of methods and approaches to teaching leadership as they emphasize and consider certain elements and activities as essential to students learning in diverse contexts, there are several learning outcomes that they seek to foster—and several times have witnessed—among their students. These intended learning outcomes are portrayed in the word cloud in Figure

5.15. As the word cloud suggests, “learning, growth, and development” and

“transformation” are the most dominant as intended learning outcomes, followed by the fostering of self awareness and systemic awareness. Change agency and empowerment were also emphasized. Figure 5.16 provides a more detailed analysis of intended learning outcomes by participant. As this figure suggests, transformation was an intended learning outcome for all participants with the exception of Shannon who only emphasized “change agency” as an intended learning outcome of his teaching. Among all participants, Irini, perhaps from her frame of reference as a developmentalist, was the most intentional about fostering learning, growth, and development, and on multiple levels, among her students. Sofie was the only participant who included “wisdom” and

“embracing ambiguity” as intended learning outcomes of teaching leadership.

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Figure 5.15 Intended Learning Outcomes of Teaching Leadership

Learning, Growth, and Development

Wholeness and Integration

Change Agency

Empowerment

Self Awareness

Systemic Awareness

Multiple Levels of Development

Transformation

Healing

Embracing Ambiguity

Empathy and Compassion

Wisdom

0 5 10 15 20 25

Baila Illiana Irini Jamie Parker Shannon Sofie Stefan

Figure 5.16 Intended Learning Outcomes by Participant.

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Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

As the last component of their in-depth interviews, participants were asked to provide advice for artists teaching their first leadership course. In this respect,

“Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator” was also the last structural heading that concluded each participant’s portrait. Their collective advice to artists teaching their first leadership course was coded and collated to depict the following Word

Cloud in Figure 5.17:

Figure 5.17 Implications: Advice for the Emerging Artist-Educator

Codes of advice under the structural heading of “Implications: Advice for the Emerging

Artist-Educator” merge and cluster into five categorical themes, in which artists teaching their first leadership course are advised to: (1) know their value and leverage their resources as artists; (2) create experiences and spaces; (3) know their audience and be

301 clear about purpose; (4) learning in community; and (5) work from a foundation of love.

These are discussed below.

Know your value and leverage your resources as Artist. Emerging artist- educators are first and primarily encouraged to know what they bring to the table as artists and to integrate art in their teaching. This entails trusting themselves as artists teaching leadership and believing in the potential of art to facilitate learning that is both useful and powerful. Shannon advises instructors to first be authentic and forthright about what they bring to their teaching from their own narratives and experiences. Baila encourages them to “believe that what art has given them, their experience of art, what it’s given them, is very legitimate” and to “believe in the power of art as a learning process.” According to Jamie, artist-educators must “lead with their art” as “there will always be ideas and moments that contribute to leadership development that only you, with your artist’s intuition, can see.” Illiana advises artists teaching their first leadership course to “see what you bring to the table” in their “own skin” as “that’s the thing that you are going to lead with” and “the thing that you can offer.” While Sofie urges emerging artist-educators not to be “apologetic” nor “proud” for the artistic gifts they have, Stefan encourages artists teaching leadership to overcome their imposter syndrome and to know they have valuable skillsets and capacities. In this respect, Stefan shared artists’ learning mindset: “What artists bring to the table I think better than any other discipline is our whole being is about experimentation and failure.” As experimentation and learning from failure is highly emphasized in leadership development, possessing this mindset is an asset. Finally, integration is important for Irini has realized that the more authentically she “becomes” an artist, the more impact she has as an educator.

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The advice that the participants of this study provide to artists teaching their first leadership course seem to implicitly or explicitly stem from their own experiences and journeys as artist-educators. As such, the saliency to which the participants advise emerging artist-educators to know what they bring to the table as artists and integrate art in their teaching, may also reflect the participants’ personal learning and development overtime as artist-educators. The intentionality as well as actual practice of participants in embracing and integrating their roles and identities as artist and art into their current teaching as educator seem to suggest their own journeys toward integration and encouragement to others to pursue an integrative path.

Create experiences and spaces. As experiential learning turned out to be the prevailing approach to teaching leadership across all participants, emerging artist- educators are advised to create experiences and spaces for learning among their students to help them connect theory with practice. According to Illiana, experience is pedagogy, and unlike conventional ways of learning that emphasize the transfer of information, artists must give students an experience and create a space for discovery. Sofie suggests that students must be invited, rather than forced, into an experience. In the face of potential resistance from learners, she mentions: “the greatest thing that will diffuse resistance is an invitation with options.”

Instructors are also advised to provide concrete examples as they model and embody what they are asking students to do and learn by experiencing and embodying.

Baila encourages emerging artist-educators to “model art, whatever art, as an important and integral way of experiencing life.” Irini encourages artists teaching their first leadership course to “be your artistry” and not to “perform” it – to “be the artist” who

303 would “foreground art” and “be the art” over the “teacher artist” who may “background art” and use art solely as “the tool or the skill or the methodology.” On the level of the learner, Jamie wrote a scene in a play and had learners perform it to have them learn about advocacy strategies by experiencing concepts and strategies through acting.

In these experiences and spaces, emerging artist-educators are also encouraged to be fearless as they explore possibilities, experiment and take risks to foster learning and growth and flexible and adaptive to adjust things as they see fit. To use arts in their work, Parker suggested adult educators would have to be brave or fearless—brave, in the presence of fear, as distinct from fearless, without fear. In addition, emerging artist- educators are advised to create safety for students to experiment and to empower students to learn as they reflect on what is possible and lead. For example, Shannon recommends sharing personal narrative and experiences and encouraging students to reflect on how people in their lives have exercised leadership, and in turn, how they themselves could lead. To facilitate openness and experimentation, instructors are also encouraged to be vulnerable and open about failure as they share their narrative and are attentive to process. In this respect, Stefan shares in public with his students how negative reviews he has received are just as valuable as the positive reviews as he believes it can contribute to building a safe learning context for people to fail and learn from failure.

Be clear about purpose and know your audience. Both Stefan and Jamie emphasize the importance of purpose in teaching. Stefan advises emerging artist- educators to first have “a really clear purpose for the course” and idea of what they want students to learn and what they are entering into. Jamie would also first say “know what your mission is with the work or why you wanna do it.” In addition, if the artist-educator

304 was hired to teach leadership, bringing in art could be surprising for not just the students, but also the sponsors. As such, it would also be important to communicate purpose and intentions upfront if art will be used and why it would be useful to integrate with leadership learning. In this respect, Jamie also suggests to first “tell people and prepare people and recruit people based on that communicated expectation” and “know what your sponsor is comfortable with” and to remember that the larger purpose is “not to make them artists or to show off how artistic you are,” but “to help them gain skills and make more progress.”

Jamie and Sofie both advise emerging artist-educators to know their audience.

Jamie cautions to not “limit your imagination about what’s possible to bring in, but be judicious and thoughtful about who your audience is and how much they’re gonna be able to handle.” Rather than assuming that all audience members are comfortable with artistic activities or that they do not have any prior artistic training, emerging artist- educators are advised to know their audience be clear about their purpose in teaching as they adjust and create options for students to engage and learn leadership with art. As some students may be terrified of making art, while others may hold MFA degrees, it is important for instructors to be flexible and adaptive and adjust their methods as well as degree of art integration in their teaching based on their audience and where they are at from the beginning and at different stages of the process to the end. Sofie also advises to

“learn who’s in the room first” and be mindful that there may be people who may be more open to, and others who may feel a great deal of discomfort with, different ways and forms of learning, especially with art even as “there may be even more incredible artists in the room who have a different way of expression.”

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Learn in community. Emerging artist-educators are advised to learn in community. This entails seeking out the support and advice of other artist-educators and learning from their example and wisdom as they try things out and share their learning among peers and mentors in profession as Baila advises them to “get some support from other artists, from people who’ve done it before.” This also entails being in community and fostering community with students in the way Illiana embeds her “pedagogy of experience” through hosting dinners with students at her home as adapted replications of the “Soul Food Pavilion” artist Theaster Gates used to host in his neighborhood.

Work from a foundation of love. Parker, Jamie, and Baila encourage emerging artist-educators to work from a foundation of love for their students and love for what they do. Parker emphasizes love and abiding care the most in both leadership and teaching as she discussed her thoughts on “loving your organization to life” and expressed how she fell in love with the community-based nonprofit and people she was working with during her sabbatical and communicated love to her students at the end of a class. Jamie advises: “As you’re finding your feet and your voice as a leadership developer, put this thing that you’re either expert in or that you love into the work.”

Baila also implied love with respect to enjoying work as she advised emerging artist- educators to “have fun and enjoy.”

Synthesis

This sections discusses brings all the structural headings together as a whole and discusses the most salient findings as well as how these themes connect and interact with one another. On the broadest level, this study explored how artists teach leadership. In

306 this exploration, I recruited participants who self-identified as both artists and educators teaching leadership in an academic institution or professional development program and learned how eight individuals who fit this profile navigated through and experienced their journeys as artist-educators and made sense of their experiences as it related to their personal growth and teaching. In the course of this endeavor, I heard the stories and perspectives of my participants, empathically felt their tensions, pain and struggles, as well as joy and sense of peace and liberation. I also observed and encountered their artistry live in person, recording, or photo, touched the spaces of their art and teaching, and even smelled the aroma of coffee, tea, wine, and food with conversation. In this respect, all of my senses were engaged in data collection and in learning, and they were used to co-construct portraits of participants, and with them, to address my research questions and convey findings. The findings were the portraits. They opened a window into the mind, heart, and soul—journey, work, and world—of the artist-educator who creates art and teaches leadership.

The structural headings of each portrait described and conveyed the journey and perspectives of the artist-educator, including their dual roles and identities, their personal learning with art, including those experiences that were transformative, the ways in which their taught leadership and interacted with their students, and the advice they would give to artists teaching their first leadership class. Exploring these structural headings as a whole in a portrait, and across all portraits, provides insight into how each participant’s dual role and identity as artist-educator both engenders and reflects personal learning and growth to teach leadership in a way that would also facilitate personal learning and growth, even transformation, in the course of learning leadership. It may also inspire

307 other artists who teach leadership to bring their full selves and resources as artists to the service of teaching. Looking at each portrait and across all portraits, we can identify:

1. A journey of ongoing integration or intertwining of roles and identities as

artist-educator.

2. A pursuit of continual learning and transformation, whether in critical

incidents or gradual

3. A way of teaching that opens up the mind, heart, and senses to discover new

insights and experience what leadership entails and grow as a person.

4. A way of advising emerging colleagues to know and leverage their value as

artists.

In what we may see now and continue to see in the months and years ahead, the artist in each participant lives in their teaching and opens minds, hearts, and spaces for students to grow and be empowered to lead and enact change. The artist, though perhaps in earlier years distanced, is also now embraced and honored as emerging artist-educators are first advised to know what they bring to the table and integrate art in teaching.

The findings and analysis may also reveal that the medium of the artist does not matter as much as the person who teaches leadership. The participants in my study are musicians, dancers, mosaic artists, sculptures, theater actresses, poets, writers, and performers. Whether they practiced one medium or multiple mediums, visual art or music, they all share orientations towards experiential learning and fostering learning, growth, and development among students who learn from them. They also display a willingness to keep learning and growing themselves. Moreover, the artist-educators in this study do not see themselves, others, or even the world, as fixed and unchangeable

308 and engage the world in a way that would bring change in themselves, change around them and in others, and change beyond them. All artist-educators in this study have also expressed that embracing and owning the artist within themselves and art have enhanced their teaching and confidence as educators.

My literature review revealed that leadership is complex as are the times of today.

As leadership may require both learning and continual evolution where complexity is ongoing and perhaps perpetually increasing, teaching leadership in such a context may also require both learning and continual transformation on the part of the educator. In this respect, artists who continually learn and transform with their teaching and artistry may be able to help other educators grow to continually learn and transform.

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Chapter VI

CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS

This final chapter provides an overview of the study, followed by conclusions and recommendations for both future research and practice, and final reflections on the study.

Overview of Study

The purpose of this study was to expand our current knowledge of arts-integrated practices in leadership development beyond the technical aspects of arts-based methods in teaching in order to understand the persons—the artists—who may have inspired, originated, and used such methods. By focusing on the artists who teach leadership, I hoped to generate useful insights for faculty recruitment and development for leadership teaching along with implications for practice in leadership education today and into the future. Using the method of portraiture developed by Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis

(1997) embedded in an exploratory qualitative interview study with narrative inquiry, I explored to what extent and how artists who are also adult leadership educators in academic and professional development settings integrated their roles, skills, experiences, and ways of making meaning to facilitate learning in leadership. I also examined to what extent how these artists’ personal learning journeys with art influenced their teaching and self-perceptions as educators.

With these intents, I sought to understand the degree to which participants of the study who identified as both artists and educators viewed their respective roles and identities as integrated, the extent to which and how these participants intentionally integrated their artistic skills and way of engagement with the arts with their teaching,

310 and the ways in which their experiences and backgrounds as artists influenced what they teach, how they described and designed their courses, how they interacted with students, and what learning they tried to foster among their students. In addition, I also explored the ways in which these participants’ personal learning experiences with art, including those that were transformative, influenced their teaching and how they viewed themselves as educators. My findings were presented through individual portraits of eight participants, which were then analyzed together through cross-portrait analysis (i.e. cross-case analysis) and discussed.

The significance of this study comes from the study’s focus on the artist who teaches leadership in formal academic and professional development settings. Unlike most studies in leadership and management education as well as in adult learning and education that focus on arts-based methods, interventions, and approaches employed to teach leadership with art to explore the intersection of arts and leadership development or arts and adult learning, this study looks at the person teaching, as both artist and educator, as an instrument of leadership development and even change on both personal and societal levels. As the stories of such individuals in my study have been told alongside each other, it is hoped that they, and more artist-educators who can resonate with their journeys, will find support as well as validation in the academy and professional development world for who they are as artists and what they can bring to the service of teaching leadership as well as teaching more broadly.

My use of portraiture (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997) as an embedded method within an exploratory interview study with narrative inquiry is also significant.

From conversations with faculty to results of literature searches, the method of

311 portraiture, despite its origination over 20 years ago, does not yet seem to have been widely known or used in adult learning and leadership education research. As such, and from my own learning about portraiture and positive experiences with the method, I hope that this study will generate more interest in and use of portraiture in qualitative research efforts. As a “a genre of inquiry and representation that seeks to join science and art”

(Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997, p. xv), using portraiture was also fitting for this study as I, as an artist-educator myself, was able to bring my full self, including as artist, into my research and integrate my identity and role as artist with my work as researcher.

According to Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis (1997), “In the implementation of the methodology of portraiture, as in the construction of a work of visual art, the significance of the details of presentation transport the portrayal beyond simple representation into the realm of expression” (p. 28). Along these lines, I very much felt like an artist in how I connected and deeply resonated with the participants and their stories and used my lived and felt experience with the participants to create the portraits, creating a base and layering colors and detail with multiple moments of discovery and encounter along the way of creating them. In addition, Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis (1997) consider portraiture as “a method of qualitative research that blurs the boundaries of aesthetics and empiricism in an effort to capture the complexity, dynamics, and subtlety of human experience and organizational life” (p. xv). In this light, I also attempted to preserve the nuances and complexities of participant’s lived experiences and narratives and constructed each portrait balancing aesthetic efforts to capture essence with providing

“rich, thick description” (Creswell, 2014; Creswell & Poth, 2018) to strengthen validity of the findings as it would deepen resonance for readers. Finally, the portraits can also be

312 gifts of art to the participants in the way the portraits may honor participants’ experiences and stories, allow them to feel heard and appreciated, and even facilitate learning that is transformative in how they view themselves and work. With respect to how portraits can be transformative for participants, Lawrence-Lightfoot and Davis (1997) further describe:

Making and finding meaning through art is a transformative experience. Once we have encountered seeing and thinking in the aesthetic realm, our ability to think and see more generally is altered … Subjects of research portraits can report a similar transformation in their self understandings. Once they have read their portraits, they may begin to see themselves and their actions with a portraitist’s eye or mental set. (p. 35)

I shared draft portraits with each participant and received, in addition to member checks of accuracy and suggestions for minor edits, appreciative feedback in the way the portraits were “fun” to read, “wonderful,” and “meaningful” as the portraits also offered a

“mirror” and helped participants, as they also felt both “heard” and “affirmed” through their portraits, discover deeper appreciation for their journey and work, affirmation of things participants already held to be “true,” or a new insight about themselves that they had not seen or considered before.

With respect to review of literature, I pursued an interdisciplinary approach and explored research and scholarship, including reflective essays, dissertations, and academic articles, from multiple fields, including and primarily in management and leadership, adult learning and education, psychology, and art and art education. In this endeavor, I reviewed literature on leadership development, adult education theories of experiential learning and transformative learning, and various disciplinary strands of literature on arts-integrated approaches and artists in adult education and leadership and management education. The literature review identified a gap in the study of artists teaching leadership and attempted to address this gap by providing a conceptual

313 framework to explain how artists, with their training and experiences, may teach to develop leadership as well as guide the ensuing research of this dissertation. Overall findings and analysis results provide evidence that the journey and contributions of artists matter and are valuable in leadership (and academic) teaching. The findings and analysis results also provide understanding of how artists teach as well as how they view, manage, and experience their dual roles as artist-educators along with implications for others in similar paths.

Conclusions

Findings from the data seem to support four key conclusions:

1. Artists in this study, after several years along their journey as artists and as

educators, now seem to view their identities and roles as artists and as

educators either integrated or interdependent and not completely separate.

2. Artists in this study seem to have experienced some degree or form of

transformation in their personal learning journeys with art.

3. Artists in this study seem to emphasize experiential learning as an essential

aspect of their teaching.

4. Artists in this study advise emerging artist-educators to embrace their artistic

ways of being and knowing and integrate art into their teaching.

Each conclusion is further discussed below, followed by recommendations for future research and implications for practice. In addition, I conclude with reflections on the study.

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Conclusion 1

Artists in this study, after several years along their journey as artists and as educators, now seem to view their identities and roles as artists and as educators either integrated or interdependent and not completely separate. All participants in the study had experience with art in childhood and adolescence whether making mud pies and playing with siblings, observing their parents or other family members who were artists, taking art classes or music lessons, or performing in front of an audience. Nevertheless, whether it be from family pressure or a negative experience with an elementary school teacher, not all participants continued pursuing art into adulthood nor viewed themselves as artists. For some participants, even for those who continued on with art and nurturing their art into adulthood without a break, their identities and roles as artists and as educators were completely separate as they hid their artist identities from the public or their communities in education due to social pressure or desire to protect and preserve their art and freedom as artists. Other participants did not see a distinction in these identities and roles and viewed them as completely integrated from the start of their artistic journey as adult-educators. Whether they viewed themselves as primarily artists who were teaching or primarily educators who were practicing art, they did not compartmentalize or hide either identity or role and viewed them as a completely integrated whole of how they engaged with the world and worked. Moreover, regardless of whether and to what degree participants viewed their roles and identities as artists and as educators as separate, they all now view them as integrated and/or interrelated in their teaching of leadership. This suggests that participants experienced learning, development, and maturing along their journey as artist-educators with greater degrees of

315 integration and capacity for complexity in the sense of how their internal repertoires expanded as they owned their artist identities and roles in teaching (and perhaps other aspects of life and work). Moreover, though it is hard to generalize from a sample of eight participants, this conclusion implies positive value in the dual role of artist-educator in leadership development for both artists who are teaching and students in their presence.

Conclusion 2

Artists who teach leadership seem to have experienced some degree or form of transformation in their personal learning journeys with art. Every participant in the study used the word “transformation,” whether cautiously or eagerly, to describe their experiences with art and personal learning as artists. For some participants, transformation entailed an awakening of their identities as artists or an acceptance and owning of their identities as artists. For other participants, personal encounters with art, whether viewing or making art, shifted them away from bifurcations and bifurcated thinking and view things in a more integrated way. In other respects, art shifted the focus and purpose of a few participants’ artmaking in a socially conscious way, while some participants overcame long-held fears and anxieties and felt more confident to take risks and challenge others as they challenged themselves. All of these experiences also impacted the way these individuals taught and interacted with their students and colleagues. This suggests that participants in the study viewed art as a transformative force and that art played a significant role in their development both personally and professionally. Despite difficulties in generalizing from a small sample, this conclusion implies that art can help people learn and grow, and that it may be useful to integrate into

316 leadership teaching that seeks to foster personal growth and development as well as into faculty development efforts to strengthen teaching and engagement with adult students.

Conclusion 3

Artists who teach leadership seem to emphasize experiential learning as an essential aspect of their teaching. All participants in the study described their teaching as experience-based or generative of experiential learning. This includes experiences of artmaking and arts-integrated activities in the classroom as well as engaging in practical application projects and group dynamics with case-in-point teaching. This also includes modeling and embodying concepts and lessons as one participant explicitly mentioned her use of a “pedagogy of embodiment.” As such, experiential learning in these contexts go beyond constructivist paradigms and incorporate many dimensions of experiential learning. Moreover, participants of the study seem to refer to their role as educators in terms of “creating generative spaces” and “creating experiences” for students to learn.

The dominant emphasis on experiential learning in leadership development here suggests that participants in the study consider experience to be crucial to leadership development and an essential aspect of teaching. This could also reflect the notion of “art as experience” and “leadership as art” how one cannot learn art or leadership without experiencing them. Accounting for the limits to generalization, this conclusion implies that experiential learning is an essential and effective aspect of leadership development and that artist-educators could learn and teach experientially and may find this useful and effective.

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Conclusion 4

Artists who teach leadership advise emerging artist-educators to embrace their artistic ways of being and knowing and integrate art into their teaching. The dominant advice that participants of this study would give to artists teaching their first leadership course is to “know what [they] bring to the table as artists” and integrate art in their teaching. Their advice today seems to reflect their journey of integration and acceptance as artists and how they have come to value this evolution and use more art in leadership teaching, as they consider their audience and where the audience is at with respect to engaging with art. In this respect, even “a little bit of art can go a long way” and artist- educators are encouraged to integrate art in their teaching. The prevailing advice to embrace their artist identity and integrate art into teaching suggests that participants in this study were positively impacted by their integration of dual identities and roles as artist-educators and the integration art as a resource, method, and activity in teaching.

Recommendations for Future Research

Though this study contributes to research by providing a perspective with examples of how artists teach leadership, our understanding of the artist as instrument of leadership development remains limited. To further understanding and validation of artists in adult educator roles, further research in the following ways and areas are recommended below:

1. Studies on learning outcomes of students who were taught by artists in a

leadership development or professional development context: This current

study explored intended learning outcomes from the point of the view of the

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instructor, but it did not collect evidence on actual learning outcomes as

reported by or demonstrated in students. Further study in this area, including

comparative studies of leadership teaching by artists and those who are not

artists, may generate useful knowledge on the effectiveness of artists as

educators.

2. Studies on how artists transform and facilitate transformation in others: This

study explored artists’ personal learning journeys with art, including

experiences that were transformative. Though some insights were generated,

more could be understood around internal and external factors and conditions

that led to the artist’s transformation. As an additional step of exploration, it

may be useful to consider whether or to what extent artists facilitate

transformation learning in the ways in which they have experienced them.

3. Studies comparing artists and those who are not artists using arts-integrated

methods: Most literature to date have explored arts-integrated methods of

teaching in leadership development, irrespective of whether those who

employed such methods were artists. All participants in this study were artists

who used arts-integrated methods whether they engaged students in their own

art medium or in different mediums. As such, a gap remains in our

understanding of whether those who are artists might employ such methods

differently, or choose different methods, than those who are not artists. It may

also illuminate what aspects of leadership learning artists would emphasize

with arts-based methods. Other aspects could also examine to what degree

students would be receptive to arts-based methods, and perceive these as

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legitimate for leadership learning, if their instructors were artists as opposed to

not. Such comparisons could generate useful insights on whether it would be

beneficial for artists to disclose their artistic identity and background in

leadership teaching with art.

Recommendations for Practice

Embedded throughout this study are several recommendations for practice. On the level of recommendations for artists teaching their first leadership course, recommendations are provided from the participants themselves in their portraits and reiterated in the analysis chapter. Recommendations are also embedded and implicit in the conclusions of this chapter with respect to artist-educator identity and role integration, emphasis on experiential learning, art as a resource or catalyst for personal growth and transformation, and artists’ confidence in what they bring, as artists, to teaching leadership and potential benefits to integrating art into teaching. In addition to these recommendations, I suggest three recommendations for academic institutions and professional development programs working with artists and leadership educators:

1. Consider the artistic background of the leadership educator when hiring and

nurture the development of their artistry. Many professionals, both in and

outside of leadership development, hide or omit their work as artists from

their professional profiles and recruiting materials, and many professionals

stop making art once they enter into a professional role that does not involve

art. As this study suggests, there is incredible value that artists can bring to

leadership teaching, and it may be helpful to consider a potential or current

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leadership educator’s background as an artist as a resource and strength rather

than a liability. Moreover, as their artistry can be generative and useful in

sustaining or sharpening artistic skills and methods that may be useful for

teaching, it may also be important to nurture their art and continuation of art

even while working professionally.

2. Encourage leadership educators to integrate, and not compartmentalize, their

identities and roles as artists in teaching (and even scholarship). This

recommendation is similar to the first recommendation, but it considers

factors beyond hiring and nurturing art practices as a form of human resource

development. As this study revealed, many artist-educators have experienced

some form of pressure, whether internally or from family and academic peers,

to keep these identities and roles separate and compartmentalized until they

experienced a shift towards integration of these identities and roles and felt

more confident and happier, as well as more resourceful, as a result. As such,

from an employee wellness and satisfaction perspective, encouraging

integration could strengthen the wellbeing of artist-educators and reduce the

stress that may come from assuming multiple roles in addition to enhancing

their sense of satisfaction, and thereby perhaps performance, in teaching.

3. Provide opportunities for students to learn leadership with art and as artists.

As this study highlighted and proposed the benefits of arts-integrated teaching

and the positive and transformative impact it had on students with the

feedback they provided to their teachers, it may be useful to provide

additional and many opportunities for students to learn with art and artists.

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Developing students as artists exercising leadership, and not just with arts-

based methods and activities, may be more sustainable for long-term growth

and development as they would not only develop skills as artists and learn to

see as artists do, but also have resources and access to continue learning with

art even when the course ends or when their instructor is no longer available.

Reflections on the Study

Prior to starting my doctoral studies at Teachers College, I designed and taught a course titled “Leadership: Becoming an Agent of Change” for local and international undergraduate students in Seoul, Korea. Designed to be an experiential learning laboratory in leadership, the course offered an interdisciplinary curriculum that primarily integrated my learning of adaptive leadership and learning of social entrepreneurship in a

“collaboratory” known as the “SE Lab” in a prior graduate degree program along with prior professional experiences and learning in communities.

The SE Lab was developed and launched to help students learn how to implement their vision or idea for social change and build social change organizations (Bloom,

2006). My learning in the lab awakened creativity and helped me translate an idea that I was passionate about into an actual practice for social change, and the term

“collaboratory” captures the core features of the space—namely, “its collaborative co- creation between students, faculty, practitioners, and other participants; its experimental, inventive laboratory environment; its aim to translate good theory and good ideas into innovative new social change initiatives and models and to develop the leaders and teams that would power them” (Bloom, 2006, p. 276). Peer coaching and mentorship was also

322 a central feature of the lab as “students also [engaged] each other, advising and helping colleagues to develop as leaders and to build their initiatives” (Bloom, 2006, p. 295).

The designs of both the SE Lab and the adaptive leadership courses I took were integrated and infused into the learning laboratory of leadership that I developed for international and local college students in Korea. As such, the course I designed and taught was intended to generate an experiential learning space that would allow students to learn not only the concepts of adaptive leadership, but also how to collaborate as well as empower each other as fellow agents of social change. In this respect, the curriculum included team projects and peer coaching along with the myriad ways in which the traditional adaptive leadership course combined reflection and analysis assignments and case-in-point teaching with films, poetry, literature, and music. I loved teaching and was excited to witness the growth of my students and the creative ways in which they attempted to engage stakeholders and resources to mobilize change in a system.

Across all the courses I taught at the university in Korea, a number of student teams produced their own films and used music to address adaptive challenges they identified on campus or in the city. Part of the learning for these teams was not just about producing a film as the end goal. It involved reflection and discussion on how their teams were going to use their films to mobilize change and how showing their work and getting feedback from others may help team members reexamine their own framing and assumptions around the challenge and solution conveyed in their films. As I observed students engaging with the artistic medium of film and seeing them develop and share stories of transformation through the process as they were impacting those who were

323 viewing the films, I started thinking more about the arts, creativity, and how it could be effective in a learning context for leadership.

My prior learning as a student in two related leadership courses also included artistic and aesthetic activities, which included listening to music, singing, creative writing, the reading and reciting of poetry, and readings by artists. These courses were designed and taught by a musician. Among the readings I came across in the curriculum,

I was especially impacted by Rollo May’s The Courage to Create. Not only did it challenge and inspire me—for example, in the ways of social courage, which is “the courage to relate to other human beings, the capacity to risk one’s self in the hope of achieving meaningful intimacy… to invest one’s self over a period of time in a relationship that will demand an increasing openness” (May, 1975, p. 17)—but it also fostered deeper awareness of my personal inclinations as an artist, family history with art, and early experiences with art that I had forgotten along my professional career path.

During my doctoral studies at Teachers College, I awakened and emerged as an artist. This took place through studio art classes I took with teachers and classmates in the Art and Art Education Department and the support of my advisor and faculty members in my program who encouraged me to continue emerging and growing as an artist, even when my uncritically assimilated assumptions about what “good students” and “good researchers” do made me feel guilty and consider re-shifting my focus back to what was dominantly considered academic “rigor” and “science” in learning and research. Yet, I could not stay away from the art studio. I could not stop painting and drawing. When my advisor suggested that I do what “I” want to do for a change, I allowed myself to pursue what brought me life and joy no matter what I thought I

324

“should” do or what others thought. This journey awakened a passion and inclination for art, which continues to be a transformative force today. This has led me to think more deeply about the impact of the arts in leadership learning and has inspired the questions of this study.

Conducting this study has been an incredible honor and gift not only in the meaningful encounters and relationships built, discovery of a deeply resonant research method, and sharpening of skills as a researcher, but in the way that this entire endeavor has developed and transformed me as artist-educator. This journey for me has been sacred. Personal learning with the art of my dissertation for me happened aesthetically and communally in ways that mirror the experiences of my participants. Encountering the art of my participants in their stories as well as in person, alongside my “artmaking” of co-creating portraits, was transformative. It awakened and affirmed the artist in me to help others learn not only through teaching, but also through making art and through research. It also helped me overcome the doubts, fears, and anxieties I had and approach my journey with more hope, love, joy, confidence, and faith. And in the way that a former leadership class and book ended with reflections on the “sacred heart,” I also end my study reflecting back to this learning with hopes that a sacred heart has been more fully formed within me as I pray my sharing of this work will open more hearts.

I believe teaching leadership is an enterprise of leading—a leadership service and act of mobilizing positive change in the microcosm of the world that is mirrored and recreated in the classroom. In this respect, those who are teaching leadership must also develop their own capacities to understand and operate in complexity effectively as they are helping others develop. Yet, leading is lonely as “those who lead take responsibility

325 for the holding environment of the enterprise” (Heifetz, 1994, p. 250). Those who lead engage in the holding frequently alone while “they themselves are not expected to be held

(Heifetz, 1994, p. 250). This is also important to remember in leadership development.

Leadership educators may go it alone, forgetting their need to be held as they try to hold their students. The journey of learning and teaching leadership requires us to build our own holding environments to continue our own development in the face of complexity and continual change in the world around us. In this effort, we need to find partners—our confidents and our allies; our friends and our colleagues; our mentors and our mentees; our family and our communities—to sustain our work. We need each other, and such collaboration may in turn contribute to fostering ongoing development of self- transforming capacities that interact and engage to transform the world around us, which may be required of leadership today and in the future. Artists with art carry enormous potential and power to help in this effort. It is my hope that my research and continuously developing, and transforming, practices—both artistically and educationally—will contribute to our efforts in leadership development and spur ongoing innovation and enhancement in not only my own work, but also our collective understanding and services of leadership and leadership education moving forward.

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Appendix A

Email Text for Participant Recruitment

Dear XX [name or “friends and colleagues”],

I hope this email finds you well. I am a doctoral candidate in the Adult Learning and Leadership program of the Organization and Leadership Department at Teachers College, Columbia University. For my dissertation, I am studying how artists who are also adult educators teach in academic settings. As such, I am seeking to understand to what extent and how artists who are also adult educators (i.e. faculty members) in academic institutions and adult professional development programs integrate their roles, skills, experiences, and ways of making meaning to teach leadership and management courses among adults as well as to what extent and how their personal learning journeys with art have influenced their teaching. For this purpose, I will be gathering data primarily through one in-depth interview with each participant, and additional data will be gathered through a review of syllabi and observations of teaching in the classroom or workshop setting, if feasible, or alternatively through an existing video of teaching if accessible and ok to share. Interviews will last between 60 minutes to 90 minutes and take place face- to-face in person or over the telephone.

If you are a both an artist and faculty member (i.e. tenured or non-tenured professor, professor on track for tenure, lecturer, or adjunct lecturer) teaching in an adult professional development program and/or an undergraduate or graduate degree or professional certificate program in an academic institution, or if you know people who fit this profile and may be interested in participating, please contact me at [email protected]. Additional details are below:

IRB Protocol Number: 19-276 Study Title: “How Artists Teach Leadership or Management” Study Duration (Data Collection): April 2019-May 2019 Dissertation Sponsor: Professor Victoria J. Marsick, Teachers College, Columbia University

Thank you very much for your kind consideration and time. Please feel free to reach out with any questions.

Sincerely,

April Hyoeun Bang, MPP, Ed.M. Doctoral (Ed.D.) Candidate, Adult Learning & Leadership Organization and Leadership Department Teachers College, Columbia University Email: [email protected]

Appendix B

Informed Consent Form (Part 1)

Teachers College, Columbia University 525 West 120th Street New York NY 10027 212 678 3000

INFORMED CONSENT

Protocol Title: How Artists Teach Leadership or Management IRB Protocol: 19-276 Interview and Observation Consent Principal Researcher: April H. Bang, MPP, Ed.M., Teachers College, Columbia University 917-657-6140, [email protected]

INTRODUCTION You are invited to participate in this research study called “How Artists Teach Leadership or Management.” You may qualify to take part in this research study because you are over 25 years old and identify as both an artist and a faulty member teaching a leadership and/or management course at an academic institution or adult professional development program. Approximately ten people will participate in this study and it will take 1 to 1.5 hours of your time to complete the interview at one time. With your permission, I would also like to review your syllabus and observe one session of your teaching over the course of the study, if this is feasible, or alternatively view an existing video of your teaching you might share with me.

WHY IS THIS STUDY BEING DONE? This study is being conducted to determine to what extent and how artists who are also adult educators in academic and professional development settings integrate their roles, skills, experiences, and ways of making meaning to facilitate learning in leadership and management courses as well as to what extent how their personal learning journeys have influenced their teaching.

background, experiences, and ways of engaging with the world as an artist, your approaches to teaching leadership and management, and your personal learning journey with art, including transformative experiences, as it relates to your teaching. This interview will be audio-recorded and transcribed using a transcription service with a strict non-disclosure protocol and agreement. After the audio recording is transcribed, the audio recording will be stored in password protected files and deleted after the end of the study. If you do not wish to be audio-recorded, you are free to decline your participation. The interview will take approximately sixty to ninety minutes. You and your organization will be given a pseudonym or false name in order to keep your identity confidential. Before or after the individual interview, you will then be asked to provide a syllabus of your course and allow the primary researcher to observe a session of your teaching, if this is feasible, or alternatively view a video of your teaching you might share with me. This observation will not be audio or video recorded in any form. The researcher will only observe and take notes on the classroom set up, your teaching style and approaches, and general learning and group dynamics.

WHAT POSSIBLE RISKS OR DISCOMFORTS CAN I EXPECT FROM TAKING PART IN THIS STUDY? This is a minimal risk study, which means the harms or discomforts that you may experience are not greater than you would ordinarily encounter in daily life while taking routine physical or psychological examinations or tests. However, there are some risks to consider. You might feel embarrassed to discuss challenges or your personal learning journey with art or while teaching leadership and management. You do not have to answer any questions or share anything you do not want to talk about. You can stop participating in the study at any time without penalty. Your information will be kept confidential. The primary researcher is taking precautions to keep your information confidential and prevent anyone from discovering or guessing your identity, such as using a pseudonym instead of your name and keeping all information on a password protected computer and password protected files and folders.

WHAT POSSIBLE BENEFITS CAN I EXPECT FROM TAKING PART IN THIS STUDY? There is no direct benefit to you for participating in this study.

WILL I BE PAID FOR BEING IN THIS STUDY? You will not be paid to participate in the study. However, you will receive a thank you note and a small gift of appreciation (Starbucks gift card of $25 in value) from the primary researcher for your participation in the study.

WHEN IS THE STUDY OVER? CAN I LEAVE THE STUDY BEFORE IT ENDS? The study is over when you have completed the individual interview, provided the syllabus, and allowed for one observation. However, you can leave the study at any time even if you have not finished.

PROTECTION OF YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY The primary researcher will keep all written materials in a secure file in a locked room. Any electronic or digital information (including audio (and existing video) recordings) will be stored on a computer that is password protected. What is on the audio recording will be written down and the audio recording will then be destroyed at the conclusion of the study. There will be no record matching your real name with your pseudonym. For quality assurance, the study team, the study sponsor (grant agency), and/or members of the Teachers College Institutional Review Board (IRB) may review the data collected from you as part of this study. Otherwise, all information obtained from your participation in this study will be held strictly confidential and will be disclosed only with your permission or as required by U.S. or State law.

HOW WILL THE RESULTS BE USED? This study is being conducted as part of the dissertation of the primary researcher. The results of this study will be published as a dissertation and in journals and presented at academic conferences. Your identity will be removed from any data you provide before publication or use for educational purposes. Your name or any identifying information about you will not be published.

CONSENT FOR AUDIO RECORDING Audio recording is part of this research study. You can choose whether to give permission to be recorded. If you decide that you don’t wish to be recorded, you will be able to decline your participation in the study.

______I give my consent to be recorded. ______Signature

______I do not consent to be recorded ______Signature

WHO MAY VIEW MY PARTICIPATION IN THIS STUDY ___I consent to allow written and audio-recorded materials viewed at an educational setting or at a conference outside of Teachers College, Columbia University ______Signature ___I do not consent to allow written and audio-recorded materials viewed outside of Teachers College, Columbia University ______Signature

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OPTIONAL CONSENT FOR FUTURE CONTACT The primary researcher may wish to contact you in the future. Please initial below to indicate whether or not you give permission for future contact. The researcher may contact me in the future for other research opportunities: Yes ______No______Initial Initial The researcher may contact me in the future for information relating to this current study: Yes ______No______Initial Initial

WHO CAN ANSWER MY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS STUDY?

If you have any questions about taking part in this research study, you should contact the primary researcher, April Bang, at 917-657-6140 or at [email protected]. You can also contact the faculty advisor, Professor Victoria Marsick at 212-678-3754 or [email protected]. If you have questions or concerns about your rights as a research subject, you should contact the Institutional Review Board (IRB) (the human research ethics committee) at 212-678-4105 or email [email protected] or you can write to the IRB at Teachers College, Columbia University, 525 W. 120th Street, New York, NY 10027, Box 151. The IRB is the committee that oversees human research protection for Teachers College, Columbia University.

PARTICIPANT’S RIGHTS • I have read the Informed Consent Form and have been offered the opportunity to discuss the form with the researcher. • I have had ample opportunity to ask questions about the purposes, procedures, risks and benefits regarding this research study. • I understand that my participation is voluntary. I may refuse to participate or withdraw participation at any time without penalty. • The researcher may withdraw me from the research at their professional discretion. • If, during the course of the study, significant new information that has been developed becomes available which may relate to my willingness to continue my participation, the researcher will provide this information to me. • Any information derived from the research study that personally identifies me will not be voluntarily released or disclosed without my separate consent, except as specifically required by law. • Identifiers may be removed from the data. De-identified data may be used for future research studies or distributed to another researcher for future research

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without additional informed consent from you (the research participant or the research participant’s representative). • I should receive a copy of the Informed Consent Form document.

My signature means that I agree to participate in this study:

Print name: ______Date: ______

Signature: ______

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Appendix C

Semi-structured Interview Protocol

Thank you for your time and agreeing to participate to this interview. As I have mentioned to you in prior communications, I am conducting my doctoral research studies on how artists who are also faculty in academic institutions and adult professional development programs teach leadership and management. The interview will take approximately 60 minutes to 90 minutes, depending on your responses. I will start with questions on your background and experiences as an artist, and then move to your teaching and your personal learning journey with art as it has influenced your teaching. To guide the interview, I will use this interview protocol which states the purpose of my research and select questions I will be asking you. With your permission, I would like to audio record and transcribe this interview. The interview will be transcribed using a transcription service with a strict non-disclosure protocol. This will help me accurately capture what you share and be able to listen and be fully present to your sharing. I may take some notes here and there to help me keep track of the conversation flow. As I mentioned before, your responses will remain anonymous, and I will be using pseudonyms for both your name and your institution. Data will be kept and stored in password protected folders which are only accessible by me. Before the results are published, I will verify with you details of the findings. You are welcome to continue asking questions and discontinue your participation at any time. Do I have your permission to proceed with the interview and audio record? Would you like to ask any additional questions before you start?

Part 1: Background and Teaching

1. Could you describe your background, experiences, and current role as an artist? 2. Could you tell me a little more about where you work and describe how you came to teach leadership and management at your institution or program? 3. Could you describe your background and current role as a faculty member in your institution or program? 4. As one who has identified as being both an artist and an educator, could you describe how you view these roles? 5. What course(s) and how do you currently teach leadership and management? (For the purpose of this interview, if multiple courses, let’s focus on one course) a. What is the purpose of your course? b. Could you describe your curriculum and approach to teaching leadership and management? i. How would you define and describe leadership and management? ii. What do students learn in your course? iii. What methods and resources do you use? iv. What learning outcomes do you try to foster among your students? c. How do you interact with your students?

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6. Would you say that you intentionally integrate your artistic experiences, skills, and ways of viewing the world with your teaching? If so, could you please describe how you do so?

Part 2: Personal Learning Journey

7. Could you please share and describe any personal learning (personal growth) experiences with art, including ones that may have been transformative for you, that may have influenced your decision and/or approaches to teaching? a. Could you please share about a time in which art helped you grow personally as it relates to your teaching now? i. What happened and how did you grow? ii. How has that experience impacted your teaching? b. Among your experiences of growth through art, which would you say were transformative for you? i. What happened and what change have you noticed as a result of these experiences? ii. How does this relate to your decision and approaches to teaching?

8. Could you explain how your personal learning journey has influenced your view of yourself as an educator and your purpose and general approach to teaching leadership and/or management? a. How have the personal learning experiences you described earlier, and other comparable experiences you may not have mentioned though a part of your journey, influenced your view of yourself as an educator? b. How have such experiences influenced your purpose and general approach to teaching leadership and/or management?

Part 3: Implications for Teaching

9. What suggestions would you give to an artist teaching their first leadership or management course with respect to how they might teach, given your own history and teaching experiences?

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Appendix D

Informed Consent Form (Part 2)

Teachers College, Columbia University 525 West 120th Street New York NY 10027 212 678 3000

INFORMED CONSENT (Part 2)

Protocol Title: How Artists Teach Leadership IRB Protocol: 19-276 Interview and Observation Consent Principal Researcher: April H. Bang, MPP, Ed.M., Teachers College, Columbia University 917-657-6140, [email protected]

INTRODUCTION You are invited to participate in this research study called “How Artists Teach Leadership.” You may qualify to take part in this research study because you are over 25 years old and identify as both an artist and a faulty member teaching a leadership and/or management course at an academic institution or adult professional development program. Approximately ten people will participate in this study and it will take 30 minutes to 45 minutes of your time to complete this second interview at one time. With your permission, I would also like to review your syllabus and observe one session of your teaching over the course of the study, if this is feasible, or alternatively view an existing video of your teaching you might share with me.

WHY IS THIS STUDY BEING DONE? This study is being conducted to determine to what extent and how artists who are also adult educators in academic and professional development settings integrate their roles, skills, experiences, and ways of making meaning to facilitate learning in leadership courses as well as to what extent how their personal learning journeys have influenced their teaching.

WHAT WILL I BE ASKED TO DO IF I AGREE TO TAKE PART IN THIS STUDY? If you decide to participate, the primary researcher will individually interview you, ask to observe a session of teaching, and review your syllabus. The individual interview will be conducted face-to-face in person, online via Zoom, or telephone call. During the individual interview you will be asked to discuss your background, experiences, and ways of engaging with the world as an artist, your approaches to teaching leadership and management, and your personal learning journey with art, including transformative experiences, as it relates to your teaching. This

346 interview will be audio-recorded and transcribed using a transcription service with a strict non-disclosure protocol and agreement. After the audio recording is transcribed, the audio recording will be stored in password protected files and deleted after the end of the study. If you do not wish to be audio-recorded, you are free to decline your participation. The interview will take approximately sixty to ninety minutes. You and your organization will be given a pseudonym or false name in order to keep your identity confidential. Before or after the individual interview, you will then be asked to provide a syllabus of your course and allow the primary researcher to observe a session of your teaching, if this is feasible, or alternatively view a video of your teaching you might share with me. This observation will not be audio or video recorded in any form. The researcher will only observe and take notes on the classroom set up, your teaching style and approaches, and general learning and group dynamics.

WHAT POSSIBLE BENEFITS CAN I EXPECT FROM TAKING PART IN THIS STUDY? There is no direct benefit to you for participating in this study.

347 will be written down and the audio recording will then be destroyed at the conclusion of the study. There will be no record matching your real name with your pseudonym. For quality assurance, the study team, the study sponsor (grant agency), and/or members of the Teachers College Institutional Review Board (IRB) may review the data collected from you as part of this study. Otherwise, all information obtained from your participation in this study will be held strictly confidential and will be disclosed only with your permission or as required by U.S. or State law.

______I give my consent to be recorded. ______Signature

______I do not consent to be recorded ______Signature

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The researcher may contact me in the future for information relating to this current study: Yes ______No______Initial Initial

WHO CAN ANSWER MY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS STUDY?

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My signature means that I agree to participate in this study:

Print name: ______Date: ______

Signature: ______

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Appendix E

Semi-structured Interview Protocol (Part 2)

Thank you for your time and agreeing to participate to this second interview. As I have mentioned to you in prior communications, I am conducting my doctoral research studies on how artists who are also faculty in academic institutions and adult professional development programs teach leadership. The interview will take approximately 30 minutes to 45 minutes, depending on your responses. I will ask questions on your personal and family background as they are relevant to your personal learning journey and experiences as an artist and educator. To guide the interview, I will use this interview protocol which states the purpose of my research and select questions I will be asking you. With your permission, I would like to audio record and transcribe this interview. The interview will be transcribed using a transcription service with a strict non-disclosure protocol. This will help me accurately capture what you share and be able to listen and be fully present to your sharing. I may take some notes here and there to help me keep track of the conversation flow. As I mentioned before, your responses will remain anonymous, and I will be using pseudonyms for both your name and your institution. Data will be kept and stored in password protected folders which are only accessible by me. Before the results are published, I will verify with you details of the findings. You are welcome to continue asking questions and discontinue your participation at any time. Do I have your permission to proceed with the interview and audio record? Would you like to ask any additional questions before you start?

Part 1: Background and Teaching

10. Could you describe your personal and family background as it relates to your personal learning journey with art and experiences as an artist and leadership educator? a. Where were you born and where did you grow up? b. Are your parents artists and/or educators? c. Do you have siblings who are artists and/or educators? d. Do you have a spouse, partner, or children who are artists and/or educators? e. To what extent and how have your family influenced your decisions and path to becoming an artist and/or educator?

11. Is there anything else about your personal history and family background you would like to share as it relates to your personal learning journey with art and experiences and perspectives as an artist and leadership educator?

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Appendix F

Definition of Codes Applied for Analysis

No. Code Definition 1 Abiding Care Deep, enduring, and lasting care for another. Influence and impact of academic mentors in personal 2 Academic Mentors learning journey with art, including transformative learning. Action, engagement; dynamic, not fixed; can be 3 Activity exercised by all. Making adjustments to curriculum, learning activities, 4 Adapting while Teaching teaching methods, content, and even style in the middle of teaching. The activity of mobilizing adaptive work (Heifetz, 5 Adaptive Leadership Grashow, & Linsky, 2009). Art classes taken as adult post formal education in higher 6 Adult Art Classes education (college, graduate) alongside work in profession. 7 Art Classes Participant’s enrollment and participation in art classes. Art in adolescence, including teenage / high school 8 Art in Adolescence experiences with art, artistic training and artmaking. Art in early childhood, including toddler, preschool - 9 Art in Childhood elementary school experiences with art, artistic training and artmaking. Art in college / undergraduate education, including fine 10 Art in College arts training and courses. Influential art teachers who made an impact on 11 Art Teacher Influence participant’s journey and work as an artist. Influential teachers and mentors in art who made an 12 Art Teachers and Mentors impact on participant’s journey and work as an artist Artist and Educator Parallels and similarities between artist and educator 13 Similarities roles. Role and identity as artist (visual artist, dancer, actor, 14 Artist Role and Identity performer, musician, composer, poet, etc.) 15 Artist-Educator Integration Integration of artist and educator roles and identities. Experience of awakening, emergence as an artist; 16 Artistic Awakening awakening of artistic self, artistic interest and passion, engagement with art, etc. Learning with art integrated into curriculum; pedagogic 17 Arts-integrated Learning activities.

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Formal or informal power within a system entrusted to 18 Authority one party to another in exchange for a service (Heifetz, Grashow, & Linsky, 2009). Advice to emerging artist-educators to notice process and 19 Be Attentive to Process not just results. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to be 20 Be Fearless fearless. Advice to emerging artist-educators to be flexible and 21 Be Flexible and Adaptive adaptive while teaching. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to be Be Vulnerable and Open 22 vulnerable and be open about / disclose failure to about Failure promote learning. Being in Tune with Self Self-awareness and other awareness; attentiveness to self 23 and Others and others. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to believe in 24 Believe in Art the value and power of art in teaching. Bridging Theory and Closing the gap between theory and application of theory 25 Practice / actual practice on the ground. Command-and-control; hierarchical approach to 26 Bureaucratic leadership; characteristics of bureaucracy.

27 Business Side Focused on aspects of business and business operations.

Capacity and Skill Learning with art developing capacities and skills for 28 Development teaching. Formal profession and career as artist as influencing and 29 Career Artist shaping artistic formation Written examples of leadership practices and 30 Case Studies organizational practices highlighted as a case to learn and teach from. Teaching using classroom dynamics as a case to be 31 Case-in-Point Teaching analyzed as they occur. Helping students consider new perspectives and Challenging Paradigms and 32 reexamine their existing assumptions and paradigms; Assumptions facilitating transformative learning. 33 Change Agency Power to change. Changes to Meaning Changes in the rules and expectations that govern our 34 Schemes lives (Cranton, 2016; Mezirow, 1985). 35 Classroom Discussion Conversations in the classroom. Collaborative teaching by more than one teacher in the 36 Co-Teaching classroom.

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Relational approach to learning where teacher guides, 37 Coaching and Mentoring challenges, nurtures, and supports growth and development of students. Working together from a place of mutual support and 38 Collaboration shared purpose. Collective Responsibility in Fostering shared responsibility among students to learn, 39 Learning rather than having them depend on instructor. 40 College Experiences Artistic experiences in college, undergraduate studies. Shared purpose, mutual purpose, fostering shared 41 Common Purpose purpose in a group. 42 Communal Involving community. Communicate Intentions Advice to emerging artist-educators to communicate 43 Upfront intentions upfront so there are no unwelcomed surprises. Expression of confidence as artist, artmaking, expressing 44 Confidence as Artist and integrating self as artist. 45 Confidence as Educator Expression of confidence in teaching, as educator. Resolving conflict; reducing tensions in relationships; 46 Conflict Resolution promoting peace and harmony. Becoming consciously aware of binary, bifurcated Confronting Bifurcated 47 thinking and addressing it to become more integrated in Thinking thinking. 48 Confronting Gender Bias Addressing issues of bias based on gender. Advice to emerging artist-educators to connect theory Connect Theory and 49 with practice and help students apply what they are Practice learning. Personal learning with art facilitated connection with the 50 Connecting with Heart heart; cognitive learning to affective, emotions, heart. 51 Continual Transformation Transformation is a continual process. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to continue 52 Continue Practicing Art practicing art to stay connected to their art, sustain and strengthen skills, rather than given it up. Advice to emerging artist-educators to create safety for Create Safety to 53 students to experiment in the classroom and not be afraid Experiment to make mistakes. Advice to emerging artist-educators to create spaces for 54 Create Space for Discovery students to discover new insights and perspectives. Creating Conditions and Promoting learning in a facilitative way by generating 55 Spaces norms and structures for learning to emerge. Creating Conditions for Promoting/engaging factors and establishing a space for 56 Transformation transformative learning to take place. Generating opportunities for students (or other 57 Creating Experiences participants) to experience and learn from experience.

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Considering alternative points of view, not taking given 58 Critical Thinking assumptions for granted, but questioning them, in a process of learning. Nurturing and empowering students to express their 59 Cultivating Voice unique identity and points of view with confidence. 60 Curiosity Openness to learn. Changes in ways of knowing, moving between stages of 61 Developmental Shift adult development (constructive developmental theory); development of capacities for complex thinking. 62 Direction Movement towards a goal; guidance. Work on doctoral dissertation, including content, 63 Doctoral Dissertation process, findings, and learnings. Role and identity as educator, teacher, scholar, 64 Educator Role and Identity theologian. 65 Efficiency Timely and cost-effective processes and practices. 66 Egalitarian Promoting equality; equal rights and opportunities. Embodiment and Learning through embodied (whole body) experiences; 67 Embodied Learning form of experiential learning. Accepting and engaging with uncertainty and complex 68 Embracing Ambiguity reality and issues without clear solutions or answers. Deep emotional understanding and care; feeling and 69 Empathy and Compassion walking with others in their pain. Advice to emerging artist-educators to empower 70 Empower Students students. 71 Empowering Others Giving power to others; enabling others to succeed. Power and authority given to others or someone to take 72 Empowerment action. Advice to emerging artist-educators to encourage 73 Encourage Reflection students to reflect. Advice to emerging artist-educators to provide concrete 74 Engage Concrete Examples examples for students to resonate with and learn from. 75 Engaging Complexity Active exploration of and learning from complexity. 76 Experiential Learning Learning through experience; experience-based learning. Advice to emerging artist-educators to experiment and 77 Experiment and Take Risks take risks in teaching; be ready and willing to learn. Approaching a problem with curiosity and a learning 78 Experimentation orientation; success is not the goal or essential; mistakes and failure are opportunities to learn. Advice to emerging artist-educators to explore different 79 Explore Possibilities possibilities rather than assuming things will not work or sticking to one approach. Providing guidance and support without directing or 80 Facilitation forcing.

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Teaching and educator role, or primary profession, as 81 Facilitator and Coach facilitator and coach. Faculty Role in Academic Faculty role in academic institution, including formal 82 Institution positions and administrative responsibilities. Embracing failure; Opposite of success; disappointed 83 Failure expectations or aspirations. Expression of faith and spirituality as part of personal 84 Faith and Spirituality learning, transformative learning; references to church, theology, spiritual formation. Parents, siblings, spouses, children and other family 85 Family Artists members who are also artists Parents, siblings, spouses, children and other family 86 Family Educators members who are also formal educators. Formal art degrees (BFA, MFA, DMA, etc.) held by 87 Formal Art Degrees participant. Formal degrees in adult education, including graduate Formal Training in Adult 88 degrees in theology, adult education, counseling/social Education work and completion of formal training in adult learning. Foster Learning and Advice to emerging artist-educators to facilitate personal 89 Growth learning and growth among their students. 90 Fun and Joy in Teaching Expression of fun and joy in teaching. Asking others for financial support, managing financial 91 Fundraising and Budgets plans and allocation of funds. Transformation is incremental and gradual, rather than 92 Gradual Transformation epochal, drastic, dramatic through a given moment. Transformative learning experiences with art during 93 Graduate Studies studies in graduate degree programs. Bottom-up, democratic approach to teaching; opposite of 94 Grassroots Approach hierarchical, top-down; focus on what is happening on the ground. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to have a 95 Have a Clear Purpose clear purpose and know their intentions. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to have fun 96 Have Fun and Enjoy and enjoy teaching. Experience of peace and comfort, freedom and 97 Healing wholeness, after past wounding or trauma. 98 Heart Involving the heart; involving emotions; passion. Artist identity as hidden, not accessible to the public or professional colleagues and community; deliberate 99 Hidden Artist Identity choice to hide / not reveal identity as artist among colleagues and students. The space in which people can learn and grow, with both 100 Holding Environment challenge and support (Kegan, 1984, 1994; Drago- Severson, 2009, 2012). 101 Identity Shift Shift in participant’s sense of identity (e.g. as artist).

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Engaging imagination, creative thinking, seeing beyond 102 Imagination what is known. 103 Impact on Students Personal learning with art in teaching impacted students. Acting spontaneously, without preparation and pre- 104 Improvisation existing plan. Asking open-ended questions and learning from 105 Inquiry and Dialogue emerging group conversations that are constructive. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to integrate 106 Integrate Art in Teaching their art into their teaching. 107 Integrated Artist-Educator Artist-educator roles are integrated. Interdependent Artist- 108 Artist-educator roles are separate, but interdependent. Educator Invite People into Advice to emerging artist-educators to invite people into 109 Experience an experience rather than force them. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to be Know What You Bring to 110 confident as artists and know what they bring to the table Table as Artist as artists. Advice to emerging artist-educators to know their 111 Know Your Audience audience and tailor teaching and curriculum appropriately. Advice to emerging artist-educators to lead with their art 112 Lead with Your Art and not shy away from it. Teaching and role as educator as explicitly and primarily 113 Leadership Development leadership development. Leadership in Position of formal authority and/or exercising leadership 114 Organizations in organizations. 115 Learn in Community Advice to emerging artist-educators to learn with others. Developing and growing in wisdom; acquiring new or 116 Learning modifying existing assumptions, knowledge, behaviors, capacities, beliefs, etc. Learning from communicated observations, comments, 117 Learning from Feedback and reactions from others. Mistakes and failures are no longer feared, but embraced Learning from Mistakes or 118 as an opportunity for learning, mistakes and failures are Failure viewed as integral to the artistic process. Learning from the processes and work of other artists; Learning from Other 119 other artists helping participant encounter and see new Artists perspectives; learning in community with artists. Communal experiences in learning; learning as a 120 Learning in Community communal activity; learning from others in community; learning together; collaborative learning. Personal learning, growth, and development that Learning, Growth, and 121 involves greater integration and wholeness, maturity, and Development complex thinking.

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Use of lectures in teaching where teacher primarily 122 Lecturing delivers content through verbal presentation. Shift from control and perfectionism to letting go of Letting Go of Control and 123 control and perfection; embracing risk and mistakes; Perfection experiencing freedom. Bridging the power distance between teachers and 124 Leveling Power Dynamic students; establishing a more egalitarian relationship. Engaging ears and other senses to focus and attend to 125 Listening what another is saying or communicating; The act of listening; being present and hearing what 126 Listening others have to say. Embrace of inner conflict or tension arising from 127 Living in Tension complexity and simultaneously holding or navigating competing points of view. 128 Love Deep affection and care. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to teach 129 Love from a place of deep affection and care for students and their work. Controlling or influencing the means to which goals are 130 Managing Process achieved. Achieving goals or accomplishing tasks within a given 131 Meeting Deadlines timeframe. Motivating people to action and engagement; 132 Mobilizing People empowering people to take action. Motivating and empowering students to action and 133 Mobilizing Students engagement. Advice to emerging artist-educators to model and 134 Model and Embody embody what they are teaching. Demonstrating for others through personal behavior that 135 Modeling can be observed. 136 Movement Not static, dynamic, involving movement and change. Many ways to define leadership; not limited to single 137 Multiple definitions definition. Multiple Levels of Development that takes place on multiple levels of the 138 Development personal, organizational, systemic, and societal. Multiple Mediums and 139 Use of a variety of materials and activities in teaching. Resources Power that mutually transforms both leader and follower, Mutually Transforming 140 power that transforms a community, experienced Power mutually together. 141 Narrative Disclosure Sharing personal story and experiences with others. Openness, no assumptions of right or wrong; curiosity 142 Non-judgmental and objectivity.

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facilitating and reinforcing a communal, collective 143 Nurturing Shared Purpose purpose among students. The use of technology to teach via videoconferencing 144 Online Teaching and websites, over in person meetings. Heart that is open, vulnerable, curious, capable of feeling 145 Open Heart a range of emotions.

Personal learning with art fostered greater openness and 146 Openness and Creativity creativity at work, including teaching.

Honest self-disclosure and curiosity; willingness to take 147 Openness and Vulnerability risks; opposite of self-protection. 148 Performance Accomplishing tasks; getting results. Transformative learning experiences with direct Personal Connection with 149 encounter with works of art, personal resonance and Artwork connection with artwork. Changes to points of view and frames of reference; changes to habit of mind, assumptions; structural 150 Perspective Shift reorganization in way person views self and relationships (Cranton, 2016; Mezirow, 1975). Person-centered, grassroots approach to learning that 151 Place-based Approach focus on unique needs of people in a neighborhood or community. 152 Play Having fun; light-hearted activity. 153 Position A fixed role, frequently in relation to power. Positive shift from old or current reality into a new 154 Positive Estrangement reality. Applying theory to professional practice; work 155 Practical Application application. Focused attentiveness and attention, being in the moment 156 Presence and fully aware on oneself, others, and surrounding. Involving the state of being present, fully attentive; and 157 Presence and Voice using one’s voice. Prior Professional Work Professional experiences prior to leadership teaching or 158 and Roles work as artist. 159 Procedural Focused on procedures. Students learning through working on projects, self- 160 Project-based Learning directed or assigned. Promoting Growth and Facilitating or fostering growth and development of 161 Development in Others constituents, followers, colleagues, community. Advice to emerging artist-educators to provide options to 162 Provide Options meet the array of needs and expectations of diverse learners with varying degrees of comfort with art. 163 Reduce Complexity Simplification; black and white, overlooking nuance.

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Reviewing / looking back on past or current action or 164 Reflection experience to learn and consider new perspectives. Managing the level of stress or emotional intensity in the 165 Regulating Tension classroom. Approach to teaching that emphasizes relationships; 166 Relational Approach relationship-centered teaching. Embracing and responding to reality, rather than denial 167 Responding to Reality of reality. Going against the grain, taking action that does not have 168 Risks clear, certain outcome. Awareness of self; awareness of triggers and historical, 169 Self-Awareness contextual, cultural reasons behind own reactions and behavior. Taking care of oneself; engaging in practices that 170 Self-Care preserve and restore health and energy. Self-directed, self-initiated activity over being told what 171 Self-Initiative to do. Sensory and Aesthetic Engaging all senses (touch, sight, smell, taste, hearing, 172 Experiences feeling)and direct aesthetic experience. 173 Separate Artist vs Educator Artist-educator roles are completely separate. Working for the good of others; benefitting others; 174 Service benefitting the public; not for personal or selfish gain. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to share 175 Share Your Narrative their story and personal narrative with students. Collective activity and responsibility; not to just one Shared Activity and 176 person or a few people, but activity and responsibility Responsibility that is communally shared, and all are accountable to. Leadership as a collective, participatory, communal 177 Shared Leadership activity. 178 Shift in Artistic Purpose Change in purpose of artmaking; purpose as artist. Changes in worldview, comprehensive and dominant 179 Shift in Worldview paradigms or systems of belief. 180 Skill Development Teaching students to learn specific skills. 181 Social Action or Impact Action for social change; impacting society. Art and/or teaching as fostering social change and 182 Social Change and Impact impact. Somatic and Whole-Body Learning with the body; body awareness; holistic 183 Learning learning. Personal learning with art explicitly states as “soul 184 Soul Work work.” Learning and teaching that involves the telling of stories; 185 Storytelling can also be considered an art form.

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Establishing and planning long-term goals and how to 186 Strategic Planning achieve them; defining strategies for achieving goals and missions. Awareness of system; awareness of components of and 187 Systemic Awareness dynamics in a system as well as systemic influences on behavior. 188 Task focused Focused on work tasks; not necessarily involving people. Teaching and role as educator as helping adults (ages 25 189 Teaching Adults years and above) learn. Advancement of technology that creates new Technology and 190 possibilities for artists and increased accessibility for Accessibility artists and artmaking. Changes to perspectives and ways of being, personal 191 Transformation development and growth. See definition of transformative learning. “Processes that result in significant and irreversible changes in the way a person experiences, conceptualizes, 192 Transformative Learning and interacts with the world” (Hoggan, 2016, p. 71). Other definitions from Mezirow, Cranton, Dirkx, Yorks & Kasl, etc. are also embedded in this. Encouragement to emerging artist-educators to trust 193 Trust Yourself themselves as artists and not self-doubt. 194 Using Arts-based Methods Use of arts-based methods in teaching. Openness, self-disclosure and transparency; opposite of 195 Vulnerability self-protection. Habitual tendencies and dispositions; whole lived 196 Way of Being experience; (Hoggan, 2016). Integrated self, personality; awareness and attentiveness 197 Wholeness and Integration to whole body learning and experiences; experience of inner peace and harmony. Shift from compartmentalized thinking and living to 198 Wholeness and Integration integrated thinking and living; experience of wholeness and integrated self. Knowledge, insight, and understanding; maturity in 199 Wisdom character and understanding. Working with Diverse Engaging learners from various background and 200 Learners experiences, as well as different learning styles.