ARTSTHE ARTSBOOKS STYLE after a fashion BY STEPHEN MACMILLAN MOSER THE WISDOM OF SNOOKI “I’m not trashy unless I PRIMERS Someone tried to tell me .COM drink too much,” she says. Hearing the reports recently that Charles Frederick Worth S about the arrest for disorderly conduct of the ill- was the “Father of Haute Couture.” bred slutty little troll known as Snooki from Jersey Though Worth was indeed a huge player in Shore has really affected me. That’s right, I its development, its inception can be /WWW.JUICYTHI laughed until I cried. She is so execrable and so traced to Rose Bertin, milliner and S despicable that my hand automatically goes over modiste to Marie Antoinette, who could my mouth when I see her picture. “Do you know be called the “Mother of Haute who I am? I’m fucking Snooki!” she reportedly told Couture.” Bertin began by selling ribbons the cops who cuffed her (while she herself was to the haute monde from Le Grand wearing a tank top emblazoned with the word Mogol, her shop on the still-fashionable SEABROOK JONE Zilker Park went decidedly mammalian as a dancing flash mob of about 200 converged on “Slut.”). “I’m a star; you can’t do this to me. You Rue St. Honore in 1770. In a turnabout Barton Springs Pool to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week. Thanks, Mom! can’t do this! You guys are going to be fucking from custom, she evolved from having the sorry for this! Release me!” She went on to snarl, customers tell her what they wanted to retired, selling her business to her nephews tinued to flourish after the death of its found- “I’m the best thing in this town,” while the mayor presenting her customers (especially the at the fin de siècle. She had indeed estab- er, and Gaston went on to establish the of Seaside Heights, N.J., seems to agree with young queen of France and her fashion- lished the practice of dictating fashion. But it Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture, her, saying: “We’re getting wonderful publicity! We able ladies of the court) with extravagant was Worth who started putting his name on the governing body of haute couture which couldn’t pay a half-million dollars for this!” Well, hats and gowns of her own design. labels inside the clothes he made in the mid- still reigns today. Thank you. I feel much bet- um, yes actually, you could pay half a million dollars Working with the queen’s hairdresser, 19th century. An Englishman who settled in ter after having gotten that off my chest. for that kind of publicity. You could probably own Léonard Autié, together they created the Paris when he was 19, Worth had been origi- Snooki for less than that. And what a bargain that massive and tall hairstyles that have nally discouraged from pursuing dressmaking SHOOTING STAR Rising design star and UT would be just to hear your very own little Snooki come to represent the era – hair that was because it was considered lower-class. But alum Elisa Jimenez (Project Runway, sea- say things like: “I’m a vet tech. Like, I save ani- decorated with props and accessories he found a wealthy industrialist who believed son four) will participate in Andy Coolquitt’s mals; I don’t kill them. That’s why I don’t eat lob- (ships, mechanical birds, etc.) to reflect in him, and together they opened Worth and 88 photography event held at Domy Books ster or anything like that ’cause they’re alive when the issues of the day, be they gossip or Bobergh in 1858. Worth showed his cre- (www.domystore.com), Saturday, Aug. 7, 7-10pm you kill it,” and: “I hate guys. I’m turning lesbian, I smallpox. Bertin was the first to send out ations four times a year and invited his cli- followed by a Pop-Up Store at W3ll People swear,” and: “I don’t go tanning anymore because dolls and mannequins to other cities and ents to place orders that were then fitted to (www.w3llpeople.com), Sunday, Aug. 8, 2-5pm. Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning, and I feel parts of the world to publicize her styles. them impeccably. Though he had to close he did that intentionally for us. McCain would never She also became known as the “Minister due to the Franco-Prussian War, Worth put a 10 percent tax on tanning because he’s pale, of Fashion” by the Queen’s detractors, reopened in 1871 at No. 7 Rue de la Paix as Write to our Style Avatar with your related events, and he would probably want to be tan. Obama and after the Queen’s untimely demise, the House of Worth with his sons Gaston news, and hautey bits: [email protected] or PO Box 49066, Austin, TX 78765 or 458-6910 (fax). doesn’t have that problem. 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