BDSM Facts! Internet Resources The term sadomasochist is the combination of the Xeromag title of Donatien Alphonse Francois, the Marquis de http://www.xeromag.com/ Sade, author of several fictions and cometaries in the late 18th century that combined erotocism and Bondage Guide http://www.bondage-guide.net/ violence and the name of Leopold von Sacher-Ma- coch the author of “Venus in Furs” in the mid 19th FetLife (Social Network) BDSM century, an autobiographical fiction depecticting the http://www.fetlife.net/ service of a slave to his cruel mistress. O Network LaRed - SM v Abuse http://www.tnlr.org/about-partner-abuse/sm-v-abuse/ Mutual consent is what distinguishes BDSM from abuse and assault, just as consent distinguishes sex National Center for Sexual Freedom from rape. http://www.ncsfreedom.org/ 101 O 5-10% of the U.S. engages in SM for sexual pleas- ure on at least an occasional basis Printed Resources O Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns Only 14% of the community is between 18 and 25. by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon The group between 26 and 40 make up the biggest percentage (47%). Between the ages 41 and 59 SM 101: A Realistic Introduction make up approximately 37% of the demographic. by Jay Wiseman Respondents in the survey used as a basis for these Different Loving statistics indicated that at least 57% of them had at by Dr. Gloria Brame least some college education or had a college de- gree. A further 20% have post-graduate education The New Topping/Bottoming Book as opposed to only 12% of the respondents that had by Dossie Easton no education above high school level. Not that edu- cation is the only indicator of intelligence but this Sacred Kink by Lee Harrington shows a level of curiosity and accomplishment in ranscending many members of this community. T O Boundaries 14% of men and 11% of women have had some sex- ual experience with sadomasochism. guide to O The historical origins of BDSM are obscure. During BDSM the ninth century BC, ritual flagellations were per- formed in Artemis Orthia, one of the most important by religious areas of ancient Sparta, where the Cult of Orthia, a preolympic religion, was practiced. Here Jawn’s Doll, Jenn ritual flagellation called diamastigosis took place on a regular basis. http://www.transcendingboundaries.org/ © Transcending Boundaries, Inc. 2012 http://www.transcendingboundaries.org/ What is BDSM? take place days before the scene, and would in- all relationships, whether they are for an hour BDSM is a compound acronym for Bondage, volve some restrictions on when the scene could or a lifetime, begin with some discussion where Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sado- and couldn’t begin. both parties are on an equal footing so they can discuss what they are looking to get out of the masochism. Generally, it is used as an umbrella When people talk of “The Scene,” they are r relationship. One or both may have limits, that term for a consenting adult relationship that ferring to the overall BDSM Community, not a is, things they are absolutely not going to do (a has some inherent inequality. For example, in specific event. Most of the time, The Scene en- hard limit) or don’t want to try right now (a soft a Dominant/submissive relationship, the Domi- compasses a general geographic area, as differ- limit), and through negotiation they will find nant person holds authority over the submissive ent regions may have slight varations on their out in advance what is and is not going to hap- person. Because of the inequality of these roles, customs. If you are entering a new area and are pen when they go into their unequal roles. it is important that both adults have discussed, unsure of how to approach the local scene, it is negotiated, and consented to their roles. helpful to go to a Munch to get the feel of the SSC stands for “Safe, Sane, and Consensual.” area. What do I call someone who is into BDSM? These words reinforce that BDSM relationships There are many different honorifics people How does the Triskelion represent BDSM? are entered into by responsible people, of the will take on within the BDSM community, and A Triskelion is a symbol with three own volition, and are practiced in a safe way. you’ll often find that different groups within interlocking motifs, which RACK stands for “Risk Aware Consensual BDSM will use the same title to mean differ- represents a symmetrical Kink,” and recognizes that some activities un- ent things. In general, the active person within relation be- tween three der the BDSM umbrella are by definition un- the relationship, that is, the person who is doing things. In the BDSM safe, but both parties are aware of the risk and something to someone else is called a Dominant commu- nity, this enter into the activity of their own volition. or Top. The person on the receiving end would symbol rep- resents the be a submissive or bottom. Someone who Dominant/ Top, the sub- What is a Safe Word? moves between both roles is called a Switch. missive/bottom, and the switch. When in doubt, you can always ask how the A Safe Word is used when someone would like person would like to be identified. What is a Munch? the action in a scene to slow down or stop. Safe A Munch is a regular meeting of people who words are generally words that wouldn’t nor- What is a Scene? What is The Scene? are interested in meeting other people who are mally be used in a BDSM conversation, like A Scene is a short-term interaction between two interested in BDSM, usually taking place at a “banana”, and private play parties or dungeons or more people to practice some kind of BDSM. restaurant or some other public place. Munches could have specific House Safe Words. Some Prior to a scene, the people involved will have are casual, meaning that you don’t need to get universal safe words are Red (all play must stop a negotiation to discuss what they would like to dressed in fetish attire. This is a great opportu- now) or Yellow (please slow down, and I may have happen during the scene, their respective nity to meet new friends or partners in a low- be ok to continue soon). In a scene, a Top may limits (things they absolutely will not do), and stress environment. Some Munches are open to use Red/Yellow/Green to check in on their bot- what will happen to end the scene. This nego- all, while some are restricted to specific groups, tom to see how they are doing, or the bottom tiation could take place just before the scene, like a TNG Munch - open to those who are 35 or may use them at any time. “Safe word” is also as would happen with people meeting for the under (The Next Generation of BDSM). a commonlyaccepted safe word to get play to first time at a “play party,” though negotiations stop. In instances where the bottom might be could take place far in advance of a scene. For What is SSC and RACK? gagged or otherwise unable to speak, they could example, a kidnapping scene requires some As BDSM roles are complementary, though also be given a squeaky toy or something else element of surprise for the person being kid- unequal, there is a strong emphasis within the to hold, so they can still communicate their safe napped, so the negotiation for this scene could community on negotiation and consent. Nearly word by squeaking or dropping the object.