SEE FULL Winter 2018 COLOR ARTS PHOTO SPREAD PAGES 8 & 9! A Peer Journal for Mental Health Vol.XXI No.1

“Laudatur ab his, culpatur ab illis” Painting by Artist Bryan Michael Greene What’s Inside... Workforce Consortium helps to expand peer support, p.3

Neesa is challenged as a peer specialist, p.3

Christina values friendship of all stripes, p.4

Ted describes a new city service, p.5

Letter to City Voices editors, p.5

We say goobye to a dear man: Robert William Teller, p.6 For more art and artists, see special Fountain House Gallery Artists’ section on pages 8 and 9! Is the NYPD the Best Freeze Your MVK loves her pooch, p.7 Fountain House Gallery and Response to New Yorkers Rent through the Studio Arts Project, in Crisis? Disability Rent pp.8-9 By Carla Rabinowitz, Advocacy Coordinator, Community Increase Exemption MVK takes a look at Access, Project Coordinator, Communities for Crisis friendship, p.10 Intervention Teams in NYC (CCINYC) Program Coalition Says the City Needs More Options Kurt reviews Mark’s sci-fi By Lynette Morrow, Volunteer novella, p.10 Recent police shootings of people in emotional distress have catalyzed our Attorney, Mobilization for Justice coalition of mental health advocates and organizations to further reform efforts. (formerly MFY Legal Services) We testified about needed efforts at a recent City Council hearing, focusing on the Relda wants you to exercise need for alternatives to police responding to New Yorkers in crisis. On the day One Way for The City to Try compassion, p.11 we testified, another NYC resident, Miguel Richards, was shot and killed by the to Prevent Homelessness and NYPD. He was only 31 years old. Video of his shooting was recently released. Institutionalization To create change, we need the Mayor to revive the defunct Taskforce on Behavioral Rebecca shares her Health and Criminal Justice. We need to bring all stakeholders together to build Rents in New York are high. It is one of the problems struggle, p.12 efforts to solve issues of community policing. And, we need the coordination of the that many people with disabilities face in trying to stay Mayor’s office to find non-police alternatives to 911 calls of people in emotional in their communities. However, there is potential relief. Carl examines the bizarre distress. The Disability Rent Increase Exemption (DRIE, also mind of psychologist/consum- We are planning a press conference for Wednesday, October 18, at the known as the NYC Rent Freeze Program) program er/writer Lauren Slater, p.12 steps of City Hall in Manhattan at Noon. Everyone is invited to join us as provides an exemption from future rent increases for we bring these pressing needs to the media to better inform elected officials. some people with disabilities. People with disabilities who live in rent-controlled, rent-stabilized, Mitchell- Tiberius conquered his fear of cancer, p.13 My Testimony at the City Council Hearing on the NYPD Response to Mental Lama, or other eligible apartments are eligible for a

Health Crises DRIE if they meet certain eligibility requirements. “Thank you to the members of the Council for hearing this testimony today. (Continued on page 6) Will warns us of the possible My name is Carla Rabinowitz. I am the Advocacy Coordinator at Community dangers of studying too hard, Access and the Project Coordinator of CCINYC, a coalition of 75 organizations p.13 and stakeholders whose mission is to improve relations between the NYPD and the mental health community by advocating for a fully responsive Crisis Intervention WRITE FOR John wants mental illness Team approach and diverting mental health recipients away from the criminal to be as respectable as justice system. cancer, p.14 “Community Access is a 44-year-old non-profit that helps people with mental or SUBSCRIBE health concerns through quality supportive housing and employment training. “CCITNYC and Community Access request that you revive the Mayor’s Task to CITY VOICES! How a car accident saved Force on Behavioral Health and Criminal Justice. This Taskforce met twice in 2014 For individual or bulk LAF’s life, p.14 and has since been defunct. “We ask that you recommend the Mayor assign this Taskforce to the oversight of subscription rates and submission Helping others helps Jacquese a Deputy Mayor. guidelines, contact Dan Frey via “We need all stakeholders and all city and state agencies at the table to suggest make sense of the pain, [email protected] p.15 (Continued on page 11)

City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 Ward Stories Organized by Dan Frey, Editor in Chief Four poets are featured in this Winter 2018 edition of Ward Stories: Eva Tortora, Mary Divine, Richard A. Martinez Jr., and Louie Morano. One poem has an expression of love, another an eloquent and painful complaint, the others Founder, City Voices: offer advice with a side dish of hope. Find what you need; take what you want and hopefully enjoy. Ken Steele Love A Season of Change Editor in Chief: Dan Frey By Eva Tortora By Richard A. Martinez Jr. Business Manager: Love Spending time Dan Frey Layout Editor: Jenae Stone surrounds my heart With family, with those who care Living life Columnists/Associate Editors from you With people who share Legal Column: accepting me I know when handling stress From a heavy heart and burden Mobilization for Justice and all my poems Can only tell why Bruni in the City: and all my years Suddenly you can be certain Christina Bruni There is no way for me to tell of battles, roses Beyond the Medical Model One thing from another with Neesa: sweat and tears Just treat your sister like your sister Neesa Sunar And your brother like your brother so on this day Another day Book Ends: thank you Under what we stand for Kurt Sass and all my lessons Greatness can be made Soulful Connections: Our hearts are our cure Relda Hill and all my poems, My Mental Health Journey: love in my heart Living life with P.T.S.D. Jacquese Armstrong By Mary Divine from your acceptance CEO , Baltic St. AEH: How am I supposed to feel, so I can write 1,000 more poems When the pain and nightmares become Isaac Brown so real? and songs and words COO , Baltic St. AEH: Sara Goodman, CPRP blessing you What am I supposed to say, When all my hope has gone away? CFO , Baltic St. AEH: Ravi Ramaswamy poetry Your Problems Will Disappear When do I stop and get the choice, To end the noise, quiet the voice? Secretary , Baltic St. AEH: By Louie Morano Joanne Forbes You can make your life anything Flashbacks, isolation and hypervigilance abound, City Voices: A Peer Journal for Mental you want it to be Peace and calmness cannot be found. Health is statewide in circulation and simply by changing the news reporting. way you Think. I often feel like the walking dead, Stuck with the memories inside my head. City Voices is made possible through a grant from the New York City Instead of being sad you can feel I sit alone quiet and don’t want to talk. Department of Health and Mental great. I think I would feel better if I go outside Hygiene, our subscribers, advertisers, Go ahead and do it and give and walk. donors, and a dedicated group of yourself a break. writers, editors and volunteers. This does not help, I feel as bad. Am I going crazy? Am I going mad? The views expressed in this publication Turn a rotten day into a terrific one. do not necessarily reflect the positions Good Times have just begun. What can I do? I know this feeling is of City Voices or its staff. wrong. I feel I’m always fighting, but help! I’m not Copyright © 2018 by City Voices Listen to Norman Vincent Peale that strong. and think positive. It will be like crossing a bridge I wish I could go back in time, To Reach Us: from a world of sadness To a place where my life was truly mine. City Voices to one of joy. And be the person I used to be: c/o Baltic Street AEH Normal, happy, smiling, free. 9201 4th Avenue., 5th Floor If life has you down and you feel Brooklyn NY 11209 annoyed But no, this is not then, but now. Think different thoughts that are a bit I must devise a way somehow. happier. Email: To halt bad thoughts, somehow someway, [email protected] All your problems will disappear. To live my life from day to day.

2 City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 service users and providers, as well to get back “on-track” with tasks http://www. The NYC as peers and community health like work and education. Peers also communityaccess.org/our- workers because: staff warm-lines and crisis hotlines work/educationajobreadiness/ The model works for people to get the support and thriveatwork Peer and Studies show that individuals with referrals they need. Learn about upcoming training mental health problems benefit from It is sustainable dates for Certified Recovery Peer Community having a team including peer support Peers and community health Advocacy training by emailing Lila workers. People who use peer workers can be found in almost Boyer at [email protected] or Health support better manage treatment, any kind of inpatient or outpatient calling her at 347-396-4992. substance use and family problems program, whether it’s for family and The Parent Empowerment Workforce in the community, and have youth, substance abuse or mental Program (PEP) helps to prepare for fewer hospitalizations. Peers and health. As someone from a service Family Peer Advocate work and Consortium community health workers can also user’s neighborhood, community can be accessed for free in October help navigate health care systems, health workers are uniquely through www.ftnys.org or by calling By Lori Tannenbaum, PhD, develop natural supports and lead a positioned to understand a person’s Nancy Craig at Families Together Director, Peer Workforce healthier lifestyle. needs and concerns, while having NYS at 716-432-6238. The next PEP Consortium The time is right knowledge to navigate a variety of will be held 10/30/17-11/3/17 at the Seeking to Support Changes to health care provision services. FRC Eastern Queens at St John’s the Expansion of Peers have come to New York City. The Consortium will share Hospital, 148-45 Hillside Ave, in Programs Across People need more information and resources to enhance peer services Jamaica NY. Updated information assistance to take advantage of the for all New York City residents. and Registration can be obtained NYC opportunities for individualized care They will meet with groups at http://www.ftnys.org/upcoming- The idea for the Peer and that are now available. The Health throughout the city to learn about the pep-trainings/. Community Health Workforce and Recovery Plan (HARP) is a role of peers and community health 3) Peers and Community Consortium began May 2016 at new type of insurance plan for some workers, certification, workforce Health Workers--Please take our the Mental Health Workforce individuals with Medicaid who have development issues and the survey! Summit in New York City. A group a serious mental illness. If a person integration of health, mental health, If you are currently working as of community health and peer is in a HARP insurance plan, they and substance abuse services. a peer in health, mental health, peer to support workers, researchers, trainers, and may be able to receive Home and How you can get involved? substance use, youth or family representatives from managed care Community Based Services (HCBS) 1) Use peer services. services please take our survey by and the Department of Health and such as individualized vocational, If you use mental health, substance copying and pasting the following Mental Hygiene met for the day educational or rehabilitation use, youth or family services and address into your Internet browser: and came up with a new initiative services. Medicaid redesign also don’t yet work with a peer, please https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/ to improve mental health services aims to improve outcomes at reduced consider talking with a peer or PCHWSurvey17 in New York City by expanding the costs and with improved satisfaction other staff member to explore how This survey will help identify use of peers and community health with care. Through these initiatives, working with a peer may benefit where peer and community health workers to connect New Yorkers to certified peers in mental health and you. If there are no peer staff where resources can be found, and will help services and promote recovery. substance abuse services can now you receive services, consider determine current wages, working The Peer and Community Health provide Medicaid-funded services. suggesting that program leadership conditions and satisfaction in these Workforce Consortium is part of The field of peer services is add peer services to help create a areas. Results are confidential Thrive NYC, the $850 million growing in New York City. Many stronger recovery focus and better and there is a small incentive to plan to make sure New Yorkers get organizations are hiring peers to health outcomes. participate. the mental health assistance they work in programs such as Assertive 2) Train to become a peer 4) Contact us need. The Consortium will develop Community Treatment (ACT Teams) There is currently free training If you have anything you would pipelines and career ladders for and Crisis Respite Centers which available through Thrive NYC like to add to the conversation around peer support and community health aim to reduce the need for inpatient for mental health peer specialists, developing the peer workforce, workers, including peer specialists, hospital stays. There are more than recovery peer advocates and family please contact Consortium Director family- youth- and recovery-peer 600 certified mental health peer peer advocates. Lori Tannenbaum at ltannenbaum@ advocates. These workers provide specialists in New York City, and that More information about training health.nyc.gov or by calling 347- support outside of a typical service number is growing. The On-Track to prepare to become a Certified 396-4995. hierarchy. We believe the Peer programs use peers to help people Mental Health Peer Specialist can be Workforce Consortium will impact with a new mental health diagnosis accessed through Thrive at Work at:

legitimacy, and we stand strong in understand the scope of professional Beyond the the face of dissent. services that we provide. As we Our sentiment for individual work with clients, remaining true to Medical advocacy can take a natural turn peer principles, our supervisors and towards systems advocacy as coworkers may judge our techniques Model with well. We as peers desire change as something unprofessional. Even in mainstream society regarding though principles such as mutuality its awareness of mental illness. and person-centered treatment Neesa Understandably, opinions on how are evidence-based practices, A Column by Neesa to achieve this differ from person to professionally corroborated by Sunar, Peer Specialist, person. Some of us are of an anti- modalities such as Intentional Peer Transitional Services for psychiatry and/or anti-medication Support, we are still questioned. This New York, Inc. sentiment, advocating for steps resistance we run into only fuels our towards disavowing the traditional fire, compelling us to courageously Advocating for Clients Medical Model altogether. Others continue staying true to our cause. Can Require a Team among us take a pro-choice stance, It still stands that many employers Effort by Peer Workers where we figure that each person can do not fully understand the roles Many of us peers in New York self-determine their treatment plan of peers. Given that peer services City are incredibly passionate about and goals for wellness. Still others are only now being integrated into what we do. We work at agencies strive to strike a balance between service delivery programs in New where our consumers desperately the Medical Model and the Recovery York City, agencies are finding need our services, giving voice Model, valuing the opinions of non- themselves hiring peers for the to their concerns in the face of peer psychiatric professionals. There first time. Since peers are new, job other less- or non-sympathetic is of course overlap, and many of us descriptions and responsibilities psychiatric professionals. We act embrace more than one perspective are uncertain, and employers do not occur to supervisors that peers serve as a go-between, giving credibility to varying degrees. have the expertise or resources to as agents of change, who purposely and weight to our consumers’ needs As advocates, we peers can provide sufficient supervision for go against the grain of office culture and requests. We give their voices come up against people who do not peer staff development. It may not (Continued on page 4)

City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 3 (Continued from page 3 Beyond the Medical Model with Neesa) to support consumers. On the finds themself as the only peer at on upcoming initiatives. The New York State, there is the NYC contrary, supervisors may require their office. It can be difficult for an CAB accepts board members by Peer Specialist Conference typically peers to conform to the existing isolated peer to remain motivated, application, while the RPC has an held in mid-July at the Kimmel culture of the office. especially in situations where a open invitation for those interested Center in Manhattan, and also the This expectation can prove peer’s legitimate comment is the to join at any time, provided that NYAPRS state-wide conference, incredibly detrimental to peers, only voice against the unanimous they are a Medicaid recipient of typically held in mid-September in forcing them to compromise the Kerhonkson, NY. The former is free integrity of their work in order to attend, while the latter requires to keep their jobs. Peers may be “…many employers do not fully understand the a registration fee in conjunction forced to use their mutuality to roles of peers….It may not occur to supervisors with hotel and travel, depending on forge a trusting relationship with where one lives. a consumer, and then use that trust that peers serve as agents of change, who We must recognize that the to make the person comply with a values of peers are worth fighting top-down, Medical Model treatment purposely go against the grain of office culture to for. One way for us to express the plan. Or, if a peer communicates a support consumers.” effectiveness of the Recovery Model consumer’s message to staff, that is to live it ourselves. By reaching peer can be shut down and told that and striving towards recovery in our the person is not lucid, and therefore voices of the rest of the office. mental health and/or substance use own lives, we can peacefully inspire cannot determine goals for themself. Peers can find camaraderie by services. the people around us, creating At the very worst, a peer may find venturing outside of the workplace There is also the Peer Workforce within them a sense of curiosity that that the rest of the office does not and into the community, and New Consortium, a committee of peers compels them to wonder…how did have faith in a consumer’s capacity York City has current initiatives that who are currently making strides they do it? How did they achieve the for recovery. can aid in this process. There are towards creating a professional impossible? It is beneficial when a peer works committees with the New York City organization that represents the But more importantly, living a with an employer that has hired Department of Health and Mental priorities and welfare of peer life of recovery aids in inspiring the multiple peer staff. Peers can support Hygiene, including the Office specialists, both working and people we work with. We create a one another, and can band together of Consumer Affair’s Consumer aspiring. The Leadership Committee spark within people who have been to impart suggestions to employers Advisory Board (CAB), a committee of this group meets monthly, beaten down and discarded, giving on how their agencies can adopt a comprised of peers that reviews and large “summits” commence them a chance to ignite it. With more recovery-oriented perspective. and offers feedback on upcoming quarterly. Topics covered in summits such chance comes the opportunity When peers work together, they can city mental health initiatives. The will include educational seminars, for blossom and growth, enabling a also assist one another in making DOHMH also has the Regional presentations and opportunities for person to move not only forward but sure that everyone remains true to Planning Consortium (RPC)’s peer networking. upward. the values and mission of the peer steering group, which also allows There are also annual conferences cause. Compare this to the peer who for peers to join and offer critique that peers regularly attend. Within

I’ve had friends of all stripes and I will Bruni in the City: Friends continue to have friends of all stripes. You have to see beyond appearance Until the End…or Until Next and listen to people and understand them. We’re all human beings doing Tuesday? the best we can with what we’re given. On the inside, where it counts, a lot of A Column by Christina year later and think that suffices. us are hurting. See what you can do to Bruni My friendship with Y. ended in lighten another person’s load. January 2007 because of my own Envy serves no purpose except to Breaking Up with actions. As if my antics before then make you miserable and keep you Buddies is Hard to Do weren’t enough, she, like all my stuck. Other people have been turned Too friends from the taupe 1990s is gone. off when I tell them I’m a librarian My friend DJ is a forever-friend and own a co-op. As soon as I say this, Caroline was a daisy in my life— even though I haven’t seen him in they refuse to meet me. like a springtime flower that brought joy. She suddenly disappeared after a few years in the early 2000s under “In the end, each of us has to be a good friend to mysterious circumstances. Yes—I let ourselves even when other people aren’t kind to her go without trying to get her back. Carny was the college buddy whose us. It comes down to having self-compassion so friendship I chronicled in my memoir, Left of the Dial. We drifted apart after that we can have compassion for other people.” I was shunted into “the system” and In the end, each of us has to be a didn’t get back together after that. years. He was my Best. Friend. Ever. C’mon, it’s 2017. We should be good friend to ourselves even when Margot—the mental health buddy Still is. He moved to Atlantic City. honoring and embracing each other’s other people aren’t kind to us. It comes also of Left of the Dial fame is still My “five friends theory” goes like individuality. It matters only whether a down to having self-compassion so in my life though from afar. She lives this: you can count on one hand the person is kind and caring, not whether that we can have compassion for other in year-round sunshine and sends me number of good friends most people they have something that you don’t people. postcards from her kitchen table. have. I have three friends hovering in have. Focus on going after what you What matters most is that each of Y. was the true-blue friend I bonded my life now. can do and be and have in your life. us has the grace of kindness to shower with for a number of years until, We should all run far away from Truly, I’m most happy hanging out the people we meet with love. Love through my own doing, the friendship negative people who tend to bring us with other creative people, whether it’s is all you need—it’s so true. And it’s came undone. It’s possible that I failed down. I call them energy vampires. hosting a dinner party in my apartment what the world needs now more than to call her back when she invited me DJ and I once sat in a Vietnamese or meeting others at a poetry reading. ever. to dinner for my birthday. How’s that restaurant in Bay Ridge. He told me: My artist’s statement is written thus: We should love our friends and be for a friend? “You and I see things differently. We I act as a Chief Joy Officer to create happy they’re in our lives. For as long I tell you loyal readers: no matter think differently.” things of beauty to share with others as our friends are here we should be what’s going on in your life, reach out Break bread with people. I’m able to make them feel good. grateful. We should let them go when to a person who reaches out to you. to relate to people from different The more you can spread good they’re supposed to leave. Make the effort instead of thinking walks of life. I don’t care about age or vibes, the better you’ll be able to of yourself. Don’t send them a cheery race or income. In this way, a person’s attract great friends into your life. You refrigerator magnet in the mail one status in society doesn’t matter to me. deserve to have a life of meaning.

4 City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 of HCBS include psychosocial Together, the consumer and the peer Home and Community-Based rehabilitation, educational support, specialist will work on these goals. For vocational assistance, respite help, example, if the plan is psychosocial Services: What Is It? habilitation (dressing appropriately), rehabilitation, the client will apply and psychiatric support. A referral to a clubhouse. If transportation is A Ted Walner packet will be created including a an issue, the half-fare card will be psychosocial, an assessment, and an obtained. If vocational rehabilitation Hello my fellow peers. Get ready. A physical, mental health, and substance initial plan of care. The case manager is needed, the consumer will be placed new state-of-the art program is coming use needs. Individuals over 21 that and the client will choose a provider to in a job agency. to the mental health community. It is are receiving Medicaid Managed help receive these goals. Once the service is rendered, the called HCBS (Home and Community- Care (aka: the HMOs) will be notified Baltic Street AEH, Inc. as well as work has been completed. The client Based Services) and it has been that they are HARP eligible and other agencies, are providers in New will get the service asked for and be created to actually minimize costs can join a Health Home. You do not York City. The client will meet with in better condition as a result. This and improve care. This plan has been qualify if you have both Medicare a representative from their provider approach will improve lifestyles and developed to lessen Emergency Room and Medicaid, if you have Medicare organization to create a plan for keep peers well, which is a goal of visits and hospitalizations. It also only, live in a nursing home, or are services authorized by the Health HCBS. This plan has many good restores dignity and respect to the in a Managed Long-Term Care Plan. Home. This will be done in three qualities and I hope it works for you. consumers. So, fasten your seatbelts, These qualifications might change meetings. These discussions usually Note: If you are receiving HCBS, as you learn about a great opportunity over time. last an hour and are once per week we want to hear from you about in mental health services. At the level of the Health Home, the where assessments and authorizations your experience even if it is not To begin, one must understand what client and the care manager will select will be written and a service plan a positive one. Please write us at HARP (Health and Recovery Plans) the appropriate Home and Community- will be drawn up. All of this work is [email protected] with means. It is a plan that integrates Based Services (HCBS). Examples billable to Medicaid. “HCBS” in the subject. Thanks!

Letter Please Donate or Subscribe to City Voices, to the City a Program of Baltic Street AEH Inc. Voices Editors Consumers, parents, and mental health professionals be a part of Hello City Voices. CITY VOICES whether you write articles or contribute funds. Thank you so much for publishing my poem SUPPORT US IN OUR MISSION TO TURN OUT THE BEST and my essay on NEWSPAPER POSSIBLE—WE NEED YOUR HELP NOW! pages 2 and 3 of the Bulk subscriptions available for agencies. For rates and more summer 2017 issue of information, email [email protected]. Make check or money order out to “Baltic Street AEH” and in the note put “For City Voices.” City Voices. Brooklyn is Mail to: City Voices, c/o Baltic Street AEH, 9201 4th Avenue., 5th Floor, actually where I was Brooklyn NY 11209. All donations are tax deductible. born and lived until I —We Thank You, The staff of CITY VOICES was thirteen years old. I’ve lived in Princeton “My agency actively participates in the City Voices empowerment journal. Our Junction and Trenton, advocacy events are regularly covered and, in general, Voices is a great source for advocacy news. Keep your client-base informed and subscribe to City Voices.” New Jersey since —Carla Rabinowitz, Advocacy Coordinator, Community Access, Inc. the summer of 1994. “City Voices has been empowering mental health consumers for almost twenty I am so happy to be years. I encourage your organization to subscribe and empower the consumers that you serve.”—Isaac Brown, CEO, Baltic Street AEH, Inc associated with the City Voices newspaper. “City Voices is unique. It’s my favorite creative grassroots peer newsletter. All organizations who provide services to people within the behavioral health system I got the copies I should make sure their constituents have the opportunity to participate in the City Voices world.”—Jody Silver, Executive Director, Collaborative Support needed. Thank you Programs of New Jersey (CSPNJ) again. This publication “We awarded City Voices for being an outstanding peer journal that empowers means so much to me. people with psychiatric histories with information and resources. I strongly —Ayesha encourage your agency to subscribe.”—Glenn Liebman, CEO, Mental Health Association of New York State (MHANYS) West Windsor, NJ

City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 5 (Continued from cover Freeze Your Rent through the Disability Rent Increase Exemption Program) In 1970, New York City (NYC) local taxes as well as Social Security NY 10038. The packet is also available have the right to appeal. If it takes a few began the Senior Citizen Rent Increase taxes are allowed as deductions in at the NYC DOF business centers (see months to approve your application, you Exemption (SCRIE) program. The calculating income for the program. here for locations: http://www1.nyc. will receive retroactive benefits from the SCRIE program offers qualifying senior Medical expenses, Medicare premiums gov/site/finance/about/contact-us-by- 1st of the month in the month after your citizens an exemption from future rent and capital or business losses are not visit.page). application was received. increases. In 2005, NYC created the allowed as deductions in calculating For rent stabilized tenants, you will You should automatically receive DRIE program to offer the same benefit income. If you don’t file taxes, you can need to provide a copy of your prior and a renewal application from the DOF for qualifying tenants with disabilities. submit any documentation you have current leases signed by you and your approximately 60 days before your NYC did this to help senior citizens showing how you and your household landlord. If you live in rent controlled benefits end. However, you are and people with disabilities living on members receive income such as Social housing, you must provide a Notice responsible for ensuring you renew fixed incomes maintain their current Security statements, pension statements, of Maximum Collectible Rent and the your application. In order to renew, apartments at an affordable rate and IRA/Annuity statements (including owner’s report and Certification of you must submit income documents remain in the community. for all household members for the prior Who is Eligible for a DRIE? year, as well as a copy of your renewal To qualify for a DRIE, you have to “The DRIE program allows New Yorkers who lease signed by you and the landlord. If be at least 18 years of old and meet four you do not renew timely, your landlord eligibility requirements. First, you must have disabilities to avoid homelessness or will continue to receive credits through be named on the lease or the rent order the grace period (six months). If your or have been granted succession rights institutionalization in the stability and dignity application is not renewed, you will be in a rent controlled, rent stabilized, or of their own homes.” responsible for paying your landlord rent regulated hotel apartment, or in a back for the difference between the Mitchell-Lama development. If you live frozen rent amount and the legal rent. in a New York City Housing Authority earning statements), IRS forms 1099 Fuel Cost Adjustments for the prior and DRIE is transferable to another (NYCHA) apartment, an apartment that and/or W2. current year. If you are a Mitchell-Lama apartment. If you are still eligible to is partially or fully paid by a Section Fourth, you must spend more than resident, you must provide a copy of the receive a DRIE at your new apartment, 8 voucher, or in a non-rent regulated one-third of your monthly household Housing Preservation and Development the amount of your tax abatement credit apartment (such as apartments in private income on rent. or Division of Housing and Community amount will transfer with you. homes and private cooperative buildings How does the DRIE Program Renewal Commissioner’s Orders, DRIE is a great benefit to those that are not subject to rent regulation), Work? Capital Assessment documents and who qualify. Helping people stay in you are not eligible. Additionally, if you DRIE is a tax credit program. NYC Affidavit of Household Income for the their homes is one of the most cost live in a sublet apartment (even if the provides landlords with a dollar-for- prior year. Additionally, Mitchell-Lama effective and humane ways to prevent apartment is rent-regulated), you are not dollar property tax abatement credit residents must provide a rent printout homelessness. The DRIE program eligible. (TAC) that makes up the difference or letter from the management office allows New Yorkers who have Second, you must receive either between the amount of rent paid by specifying the start date and the amount disabilities to avoid homelessness or Supplemental Security Income (SSI) the DRIE participant and the actual of the most recent rent increase. institutionalization in the stability and or Social Security Disability Insurance legal rental amount. The Department Once you apply for a DRIE, you will dignity of their own homes. (SSDI), or a disability pension or of Finance (DOF) authorizes the TAC receive a letter within 45 days indicating Note: If you have any questions or compensation from the U.S. Department and transfers the credit to the building the status of your application. If your problems with your DRIE benefits, of Veterans Affairs. You can also owner’s property tax account. application is approved, you will receive please contact Mobilization for Justice’s qualify if you receive disability-related How do You Apply for a DRIE? a letter from the DOF detailing the rate Mental Health Law Project. The intake Medicaid. You can download the initial of your frozen rent and the monthly line is open Monday, Tuesday and Third, you must have a combined application packet from the NYC amount that the DOF will credit the Thursday from 10 a.m.—5 p.m. The household income that is $50,000 or website at http://www1.nyc.gov/site/ landlord, as well as the beginning and number is 212-417-3830. You can also less. The DRIE program uses taxable rentfreeze/tools/drie-forms.page. You end date of your benefits. The DOF may email the Mental Health Law Project at and non-taxable income to determine can also obtain the packet at the NYC request more documentation to make a [email protected]. eligibility. Gifts and inheritances are not DOF SCRIE/DRIE Walk-In Center at decision. If your application is denied, included as income. Federal, State and 66 John Street, 3rd Floor, New York, you will be notified as to why and you

“To Robert: I love you and I miss nominate me to replace him.”—C.S. you.”—P.S. “Robert was generous with his “Robert always seemed to be an caring and his courage. Speaking extremely compassionate soul…a up for people was natural for him long-time advocate.”—S.M. and his caring was authentic. I “To Robert, may you rest appreciate the time we were able to in peace…You will be sorely spend together.”—M.G. missed.”—S.B. “It was a feeling I had to sing… “Love you, Robert, from my See you again.”—W.K. heart.”—M.P. “So proud to have known Robert. “Robert was an outstanding He will be missed.”—T.B. advocate, a role model for many of “Although we never got to be us. I have a photo of us at Brooklyn close to Robert, we are so proud Borough Hall which I will always to hear about all his success and treasure. He was a good friend and I help in the mental health advocacy will never forget him.”—A.C. community. It means so much to “Robert was outgoing and friendly. us that he was able to find family He was an effective advocate. He within this community. Much love will be missed.”—D.H. and prayers will continue to be sent “Robert was a hoot. He loved to Robert. We love you, Robert.”— our Christmas parties. Robert C.T. and A.T. always danced. Robert was very “Robert was always full of life astute. He volunteered and always and always on a new adventure. He grasped very difficult concepts and never gave up living.”—L.M. Robert William Teller explained them well. We’ll miss “Never knew Robert until his November 5, 1943—August 15, 2016 Robert.”—C.R. memorial. The love of his peers and “We lost one of our soldiers.” “Robert was always a pleasant and colleagues. Warms my heart to hear engaging mental health advocate. how his life touched so many people. Friends, Family, Advocates, Providers gathered together this After just a few years of knowing Robert, thank you for giving yourself past July to remember with food, singing and kind words, the him, when he knew it was time to in such a generous way.”—W.F. passing of one dear man: Robert William Teller. leave his position with NYAPRS, Note: Obituary to Robert William Here is what we said of Robert: he thought well enough of me to Teller composed by Leon Marquis

6 City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 creates a bonding loop between dog The Benefits and human; its release into defined regions of the brain affects emotional, of Having an cognitive, and social behaviors. That is why so many people say they feel better Emotional after spending time with their dog. This bonding loop also holds true for cats, but Support Dog to a lesser degree. “It’s an incredible finding that By MVK suggests that dogs have hijacked the human bonding system,” says Brian When You Are Sick They Hare, an expert on canine cognition Are There for You at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. Hare says the discovery might I was diagnosed with schizophrenia lead to a better understanding of why over 12 years ago, when I turned 40. service dogs are so helpful for people I had persecution paranoia, severe with autism and post-traumatic stress anxiety and was hearing and following disorder. voices. I also had delusions that were But Elsa is not a service dog; she is very beautiful and although brief in an emotional support dog. Emotional duration, they gave me great insight support dogs assist people who suffer into what seemed to be a very spiritual from a wide range of mental illnesses. world. It took a few months, but the right They perform no specific tasks but rather medications were found for me which provide comfort, support and emotional turned down the volume on the voices stability in the forms of affection and I was hearing. I was relieved that the companionship. evil voices were gone, but saddened that All this information aside, what does those that seemed good were also gone. this mean for me in terms of my dog? had to make a decision to forego the Dogs are not cuddle toys to make one The one thing I learned early on in my Well, when I am in distress, she runs to vet and treat with a topical agent that feel better. They have needs and feelings illness, however, was that all the voices my side and gives me kisses, and when was recommended to me as the growth just like any living being and should lied, regardless of my interpretations. I am feeling depressed or anxious, she was thought to be bacterial in nature. be respected. It is a privilege to have a This was hard to believe for one as simply stays near me and reminds me Fortunately, this did the trick and her dog, which is not something to take for

trusting as I. that there is a life form who cares. She leg got better. But not all things can granted. love your pet During this period, I had two miniature gives me a reason to go out for long be treated this way and one must be I care for, love and respect my dog pinscher dogs that were my constant walks which helps keep me healthy, prepared to pay for vet care. and in turn I am given an abundance of companions. Although they could not both in body and mind. She is my mood One should write down the pros and love and support from her. She is there help with the voices I heard, they did stabilizer as I can hug her when needed cons of having a dog before getting one. for me 24/7 and is in tune to my many comfort me and give me a reason to get and I always get back a loving response. up in the morning and deal with the day. I Having a dog gets me out of the house would jog with them in the morning and and enables me to socialize with people “…when I am in distress, she runs to my side that helped with the anxiety, and when in my neighborhood. Even when I feel and gives me kisses, and when I am feeling I was hearing frightening scenarios at like isolating, people will approach and night, they knew I was distressed and in ask about her; or, if they have a dog too, depressed or anxious, she simply stays near fear and would curl up beside me as I our dogs will socialize while we humans laid in bed with fast beating heart and chat a bit. People walking dogs just me and reminds me that there is a life form who rapid breathing. seem more approachable. cares….Dogs are not cuddle toys to make one Both dogs have since passed away, At home, I am never alone. So, when but last year I was blessed to get another I clean and cook or am reading a book feel better….It is a privilege to have a dog, which dog—a miniature pinscher/chihuahua or playing piano, she is near to me, mix puppy that I named Elsa. She is watching my every move and keeping is not something to take for granted.” a constant source of joy for me as she me company. She helps ground me in gives me an outlet to release some of reality as she does not let my thoughts And then, once a decision is reached, if states. My dog is central to my emotional the love I have inside. And she feels the wander too far off track. If they do, she a dog is desired, find one with the right well-being as a person who lives with same towards me and follows me around nudges me with her nose and lets me energy level to match your lifestyle. a severe form of mental illness. While wherever I go. There is something about know that it is time to do something else. Elsa has a good deal of energy in her Elsa cannot eliminate symptoms when having a dog that benefits me. There is great responsibility in caring so I must exercise her well during the they arise, she can help alleviate the It has been found that Oxytocin, for a dog, however. Illness or injury day. This entails long walks and play power they have over me. This small a powerful hormone that acts as a can affect her life in which case I must time and training time. She is a perfect loving dog gives me the support I need neurotransmitter in the brain, increases be prepared to obtain veterinary care. match for me because I wanted a dog to face my daily challenges and move when we stare into the eyes of our dog. Recently, she had a growth appear on to exercise with as well as having a forward with my life. Oxytocin, also called the love hormone, her leg and I was very worried, but companion.

City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 7 a cooperative business run by and for its artists. Operations are supported by Fountain House Gallery and a small professional staff led by Ariel Willmott, Director, with the assistance

Studio Arts Project of numerous community volunteers. Works by Fountain House Gallery An environment for artists living and working artists are included in the collections of with mental illness to pursue their creative Citi, Eli Lilly and Company, and The visions and to challenge the stigma that Estée Lauder Companies Inc. Fountain House Gallery has surrounds mental illness. Jenny Chan participated in exhibitions in public Founded by Fountain House in 2000 work to advance their careers while spaces, including: the Kennedy Center 1 How long have you been an as a not-for-profit exhibition space for collaborating with others in a supportive in Washington, D.C.; the Citi DeFord artist? its member-artists, the Gallery sells setting. The Studio is open to the larger Gallery and lobby in Long Island 2 What is your medium? City; and the World Financial Center original artworks and collaborates with Fountain House community during 3 What are your favorite a wide network of artists, curators, and designated drop-in hours. Courtyard Gallery in Manhattan. subjects? cultural institutions. Embracing artists Fountain House Gallery has attracted Works by Gallery artists are presented 4 Who is your favorite artist who are emerging or established, distinguished guest curators such as at the annual Outsider Art Fair. and why? trained or self-taught, Fountain House Agnes Gund, President Emerita of The In this section, City Voices’ field 5 Where was your first exhibit? Gallery cultivates artistic growth and Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), who reporter and artist in her own right, makes a vital contribution to the New commended the Gallery as “a place Jenny Chan, interviewed five member- This section contains photos of the York arts community. where you can view fine works of art artists of Fountain House Gallery with artists, their bios, a selection of their Gallery artists have full-time made by a group of excellent artists.” the following questions: artwork and their responses to Jenny’s access to the space where they can Fountain House Gallery functions as questions.

ALYSON ANTHONY VEGA NEWTON

New York City-born Alyson is a fiber A signature of Anthony’s work is bold artist who taught herself to sew and color, and oil is the primary medium he quilt at a young age. She received a BA employs in creating his powerful and in Japanese Folklore and Mythology distinctive portraits. He studied at the from Harvard University. After the Hussian School of Art in Philadelphia effects of surgery for a benign brain and also studied illustration at Fashion tumor ended her 22-year teaching Institute of Technology (FIT). He has career, Alyson experienced a burst had one-man shows at Jadite Gallery, of creativity that brought her artistic Cuchifritos of the Lower East Side, ability to the fore. As a self-taught artist, and Chashama, and he has exhibited she creates instinctively, incorporating at the Deshong Museum of Art in in her work themes of decay and loss, Chester, PA, the Art Culture Center in transience, childhood and dreams. Brooklyn, and in NYU’s 2008 Small Alyson employs various techniques in Works show. He was a featured artist her pieces and utilizes all types of fiber in a private exhibition at the LandAir and found objects to express the beauty Gallery in New York City, and Fountain and order she perceives in a chaotic Gallery presented his work in the two- world. A number of her fiber works person show Urban Faces and in the were acquired by collectors at a 2014 three-person show Body Language. exhibition at the Eileen Fisher store at Anthony’s work was included in Columbus Circle. Alyson’s 2016 solo an exhibition at the Education and exhibition at the prestigious venue Research Center of the Museum of White Columns was a great success Modern Art (MoMA). with critics and collectors. Her work was awarded First Prize in the mixed Anthony’s Answers media category of the 2016 Art Ability 1. Since I was a little boy; not sure show in Bryn Mawr, PA. of the age.

Alyson’s Answers 2. Oils preferred. 1. It’s hard to say how long I’ve been an artist. I have always made things, 3. Inner City poverty themes. but after I had brain surgery in 2007, I started making things that had no real 4. Jean Michel Basquiat because he purpose. I wasn’t sure it was art until was an artistic rebel. I started coming to Fountain House Gallery in 2013. 5. My first exhibit was at Day O

(Continued on page 15 ) (Continued on page 15 )

FROM TOP TO BOTTOM: Beach Quilt; Hands Up! FROM TOP TO BOTTOM: What Do You See; Don’t Shoot!; You Are Not the Only One; Out of My Voodoo; Old Man; Style...An Autobiography Head

8 City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 Bryan works primarily in Bryan Michael’s Answers what you’re doing at the moment. If drawing and painting. As a 1) My earliest memory of Art- you do mess up, there are few things youngster growing up in Yonkers, making goes back to first grade. I you can do to correct the mistake. Bryan’s early artistic influences was in school and I took the chalk If you’re painting with Gouache were cartoons and comics. He was and went to the board and started to you can paint over the issue, but if a “doodler” and kept a sketchbook. draw circles, one on top of the other, you paint too many layers on top While in grade school, he learned circle after circle, trying to make the of each other, the paint will crack computer programming and began perfect shape. and peel. Watercolor is even more making images with the school’s unforgiving. If you paint with Apple IIe system. Bryan studied 2) Gouache, which is an opaque watercolor, you have to think about figure drawing at the Art Students watercolor, and [plain] watercolor. the next two to three marks you will League, and he was awarded a BFA They are very unforgiving BRYAN MICHAEL in Fine Art and an MFA in Computer mediums. You can’t make any (Continued on page 15 ) GREENE Art from the School of Visual Arts. mistakes. So you have to focus on

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: Anima in Amicis Una (One Mind Among Friends); De Profundis (Out of the depths); My, My Parents, and I.

Born in Lares, Puerto Rico and Lopez. Jasmine has collaborated 4. Picasso because of his cubism raised in New York, Jasmine is a with fellow Fountain House Gallery (an early 20th-century style and multimedia artist who works in artist Deborah Standard in creating movement in art, especially painting, watercolor marker and colored wearable art. in which perspective with a single pencil. She is a graduate of Fashion viewpoint was abandoned and use Institute of Technology (FIT) in Jasmine’s Answers was made of simple geometric Fashion Design with a specialization 1. I have been a participating artist shapes, interlocking planes, and, in Sportswear, and she also studied at Fountain House Gallery since later, collage). I was amazed by his at The New School. Jasmine has 2008. I have been in 17 exhibits. small works. worked in the garment industry and 2. Fashion illustration, digital was honored with the Juan Eugene photography, collage, and some 5. My first exhibit was at Fountain Ramos Hispanic Designers Award. acrylic. House Gallery in 2008. I sold a piece She is inspired by the great master 3. Fashion-oriented or fashion- called ìGrey Mattersî (like your JASMINE of fashion illustration Antonio related, color and form. brain matters). SOTO

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: Style; Angels Within Us; Klee Quarry Couture; Rose Water

A self-taught artist, Susan is also the first time that pieces by an meds & other pills in my art. an actor, writer and filmmaker. She artist working outside the UK were 3. I like to do social, political work. performs under the stage name Shyla selected for inclusion. Also iconic figures, personalities Idris. Her work is autobiographical, and animals. commenting on her experience in Susan’s Answers the mental health system as well 1. I first started painting at the age 4. I do not have a favorite artist. as touching upon racial issues and of three. Growing up, I wanted to be an actor. other areas of social injustice. Susan My favorite artists were actors, and works in acrylic and mixed media 2. I work in mixed media, I still consider acting to be a high art from small to large unframed work, primarily acrylic. My medium form. However, If I were to choose a including body prints, collage, and includes, but is not limited to: found visual artist that moves me, it would painting on found objects. Her work objects, body painting, film, fabric be Yoko Ono. I love Ono’s work SUSAN was recently shown in the City Arts and I also like to incorporate writing SPANGENBERG exhibit in Nottingham, marking and objects such as my psychiatric (Continued on page 15 )

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: Depression; Chomos; Emotions in Bloom; Childhood Memory; God Save America; Spangenberg Dreaming of Salinger

City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 9 show their inner self, the self he/she is themselves do not understand. Let’s Take when alone and not putting on a disguise I had one friend who became irate for the world. In this way, the other with me because she felt that I was not a Look at person can see your humanity and can, there to help her at all times. I have a if they are being authentic too, relate to personal life with issues and problems Friendship you and find that special connection. of my own. She did not seek an It is a beautiful thing to reveal oneself explanation from me because, in truth, By MVK to another and have that person say they she did not care. That, I sensed all along, The What, Why and like you and want to be your friend. but never wanted to admit. She never How When this happens, we feel validated delved into the why and wherefore of and accepted for who we are. This my life and my sorrows, or my hopes What is Friendship? acceptance makes us feel like we belong and my dreams. I believe friendship is a loving bond in the world and are a part of a greater For the friends that I let go, there were that enriches the lives of all who partake. human family. three major reasons: 1) I felt insecure It is a special connection between How to Keep a Friend and doubted that the other person truly people that has at its core both affection Friendships, like all human liked me (I often do not like myself); 2) I and respect. relationships, require a great deal of was not being seen and accepted for my When we say to someone that we work. It is not simply a matter of finding true self and found it tiring to conform want to be their friend, we are, in effect, someone you like and spending time into the kind of person my friend was a better, more balanced, real and healthy saying that we want to learn more about together. For a friendship to succeed, seeking; or 3) I felt an imbalance in relationship with you. In this case, you that person, to share personal knowledge there must be a caring, respectful the relationship and resented the fact may find yourself remaining their friend. and insights with them, and to be there balance between both people. that I was always on the giving side of Friends should not be in our lives to in times of sorrow and in times of joy. I’ve had many friends over the years, emotional support. Unfortunately, when fill an emptiness, but rather to comfort Why Have a Friend? and share some part of our life with Having a friend enriches your life and us. Friendship should be a sharing helps you become a better person. You “Do we love our self enough to accept the love relationship in which we benefit by learn things about the world, others and of a friend? If we do not love our self, we will yourself. You see your friend’s world experiencing the affection of another view and witness how he/she achieves not allow our friend to love us and will keep and feeling less alone on this planet. goals and handles life; and, in turn, you Summing Up gain insight into your own world view, them and their affection at a distance from us. At this point in my life, I am more what you do in various situations, and How can we give back to them what we do not philosophical about making and how you respond. keeping friends. Length of time is not I believe the ultimate gift of friendship possess in the first place?” a good way to measure the value of a is having the ability to give and receive friendship. I’ve enjoyed having friends love. By love I mean the caring, for just a few hours when I travel and compassionate kind—not the romantic but few who have remained active in my I perceive these developments, I tend meet new people. Other friends have kind—which has as its purpose the life. Some have departed from me while to keep it inside and eventually remove been in my life for many years. Some joining of two hearts. others I chose to depart from. myself from the friendship. people will be there with you on your This is where friendship becomes For those who have left me, I have had Not communicating is something I life’s journey while others will take tricky. Do we love our self enough to to look at myself candidly in the mirror want to change. I feel it is important to a turn in the road and go in a different accept the love of a friend? If we do and see where I might have gone wrong. talk to your friend and tell them what not love our self, we will not allow our Rarely will a person tell you why they you are feeling and why you do not want direction. There is nothing wrong with friend to love us and will keep them and no longer wish to remain close. Some to spend time with them. Not only will this. What is of importance is that both their affection at a distance from us. will, in which case you can learn and your friend benefit from this disclosure, people are mutually caring, respectful How can we give back to them what we improve from the knowledge, or if the but you will feel better and lighter of and honest with each other, and that do not possess in the first place? reason is unjustifiable, you can at least heart for having shared your feelings. both want the best for the other person. How to Make a Friend know that the other person is not able to Their response may even surprise you. To make a real friend, a person must maintain the friendship for reasons they They may offer to work on establishing

Book Ends: short story has been my personal so much going on in such a short limit. period of time, it was extremely First Mover. The story starts out innocently difficult to follow. Samantha enough, where the main character attempts to explain what has First Maker Samantha, who believes she has just transpired, but to quote the by chance run into her former and character of Jack on the last page: by Mark A. long admired (as well as pined “I’m gonna pretend I understand for) mentor, Saul. She answers his you.” If the ending was laid out in Rivera invitation to his apartment hopeful more detail it would have lived up for a romantic rendezvous, only to to the promise of the remainder of Reviewed by Kurt Sass be given a mystery in an envelope the book. Lots of Plot, Confusing and a promise that all will be I myself can easily see how Ending answered the next day. difficult novel-writing can be. But this is not to be, as what Editor’s Note: Mr. Rivera’s book follows is a series of flashbacks, is available on Amazon.com in As a change of pace, I have been cross country trips and even more paperback or digital for Kindle as asked to review a short novel. mysteries. Mr. Rivera does a very well as BarnesandNoble.com, and This book has nothing to do with good job of keeping the reader Google Books. Any retailer can the topic of mental health, but interested while adding layer upon order a copy for the customer. If was written by a mental health layer to the intrigue. Whether it you are a mental health consumer, consumer. be a sudden death, remarkable a family member or a mental I must preface this by stating that medical test results, crop circles, health professional and have a I do admire anyone who has the or time travel, we are continually book that you would like reviewed, fortitude, grit and determination kept on edge awaiting the outcome. please write to CityVoices1995@ to put pen to paper and write an Unfortunately, as much as we are gmail.com with “Book Ends” in entire novel, as although I have kept on edge, I was disappointed the subject. written for many years, a 20-page at the confusing ending. There was

10 City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 (Continued from cover Is the NYPD the Best Response to New Yorkers in Crisis?)

alternatives to police responding to prevent these recurring deaths. mental health recipients get into connections to community resources. to these EDP calls. Expanding co- “Since the NYPD started CIT crisis, and for that we need funding of “We need community forums with response teams throughout the city, training, at least 6 mental health community services. police and mental health recipients to more mobile crisis teams, and pairing recipients have died in police “We need alternatives to hospitals, reduce the fear in the mental health mental health peers with police to calm encounters: which recipients fear, like Respite community when the police arrive. down these encounters are a few ideas “Mario Ocasio, age 51, in June care, where people in crisis can learn “And most importantly, we need the to explore. Mayor to revive his 2014 Taskforce “Some of the contributions of the on Behavioral Health and Criminal Taskforce have already been taken up by “We need to bring all stakeholders together to Justice. And place this Taskforce under the city, including the implementation a Deputy Mayor, with the resources to of CIT training for some members of build efforts to solve issues of community policing. get things done. the NYPD. And, we need the coordination of the Mayor’s “We need all stakeholders and all city “The NYPD training is going well, and state agencies at the table to suggest though there is still a significant need office to find non-police alternatives to 911 calls of alternatives to police responding for adequate training. people in emotional distress.” to these EDP calls. Expanding co- We ask that at least 15,000 officers response teams throughout the city, be trained, especially since Rikers more mobile crisis teams, and pairing is closing and there will be more of 2015; Rashan Lloyd , age 25, in June to recover and get connected to long- mental health peers with police to calm these encounters. Countless people 2016; Deborah Danner, age 66, in term support. down these encounters are a few ideas have been saved by CIT officers. CIT October 2016; Ariel Galarza, age 49, “We need to support the police by to explore. officers saved a child threatening his in November 2016; Dwayne Jeune, age building diversion centers to provide “Therefore, we ask that you mom with a knife, and stopped many 32, in July 2017; and Andy Sookdeo, a rapid handoff of New Yorkers in recommend the Mayor revive his 2014 potential suicides. age 29, in August 2017. acute crisis from police custody to Taskforce on Criminal Justice and “But CIT training alone is not going “We need to solve issues before get immediate care and long-term Behavioral Health.” exercise compassion Soulful Connections: The Process of Change A Column by Relda Hill Change is Frightening but It Also Renews Our Lives

I don’t like change because it is Now that I have embraced the life of the disruptive; it means that I have to learn “wounded healer,” I have come to see to let go of the past and do something my parents as fallible human beings. differently or do something new. They are no longer the gods that I Currently, I am learning Microsoft must obey; I am no longer a child but Word. In the past, I developed a phobia a mature adult. I now comprehend that about computers. However, I realized they lived their lives according to their that I needed to change in order to be own understanding. When I find my Self more marketable. I surprised my Self harping about their wrongdoings, I ask that I had the courage to do something my Self, “Who am I to criticize them?” that I thought was impossible years “Have I walked in their shoes?” This before. Even though I find that learning line of questioning led me to no longer the language of the computer is arduous, want to hold on to negative feelings I continue to plug on because I know about them. I came to the awareness that that it will bring me a brighter future. I if I continued down that road, I would assert that despite discomfort, change is be punishing my Self and not them. The inevitable and always brings new life. It reality is that my desire to punish them because of my scars that my life was I feel more comfortable embracing the is never too late to learn something new. is diminishing as I use my creativity to over, but now I feel differently. I know unknown now. I would like to invite I am willing to adjust my attitude. In express wounded parts of me and I find that I have something special to offer my fellow peers to embrace change. Do this article, I would like to discuss how more joy and fulfillment in my life. As another peer who is still suffering and it not fear it and settle for a stagnant life! confronting fear has transformed me a mature adult, I am accountable to my is called hope! I am not suggesting that we break all of into a stronger person. Self and for my Self. Concomitantly, as I continue to accept our current roles and rules to embrace First of all, one of my biggest fears In addition, I’d like to talk a little more change, I have been able to embrace my anarchy. I am advocating that we break dealt with leaving my parents and about the term “wounded healer,” which mortality without cringing. As I watch my the chains that bind us and leave our facing my life on my own. My ability was coined by the Swiss psychiatrist parents in the last stage of their lives, I am gilded cages for a life that holds richness. to do this constitutes maturity for Carl Jung. When I use this term, I am able to be kinder to my Self and kinder to Changes that we fear are merely there me. The idea of leaving my parent’s stating that despite my psychological them. I am reminded that each day is a to encourage us to move beyond our precious gift. As I see fine lines appear on past, worn-out lives and slip into a more my face, I become mindful that my time authentic lifestyle. We alone supply I am advocating that we break the chains on this earth is limited. Therefore, I don’t the meaning to our lives and create the spend that much time holding grudges. lives that we truly desire. The ability that bind us and leave our gilded cages for a I am able to attract positive experiences to face our fears and release our true life that holds richness. Changes that we fear are from the external world, which make me voices are some of the gifts that change willing to cultivate my interior life. As I brings. Please don’t miss out on your merely there to encourage us to move beyond continue to meditate, I’m less dependent own transformation! Have the strength and needy on others. to become the person you were always our past, worn-out lives and slip into Finally, I see myself as someone who is meant to be. a more authentic lifestyle. morphing into something more beautiful Note: Relda would like her peers to each day. Just as the butterfly leaves its know that the term “monkey mind” from cocoon in order to explore the world, I the article “Cultivating the Inner Voice” home psychologically and taking scars, I can still be of service to others. am free to be flexible, transformative, comes from the Zen Buddhist tradition. responsibility for my own life filled me This ability and willingness to help and adaptable. Just as the snake sheds The article appeared in the Summer with dread. In the past, I could always others despite my own pain was one its old skin for new skin, I am more 2017 issue of City Voices. blame my parents for my problems and of the core reasons that I took the Peer willing to let go of unhealthy patterns of sought to punish them for their mistakes. Specialist training. I used to feel that communicating and relating to others.

City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 11 The Challenge in to think that things aren’t as bad duty. Soon after follows a bout of even notice me (it would be nice if I as I might say, but for me it’s not like OCD and the accompanying anxiety: could believe that). of Mornings that at all. checking locks, lights, doors, This is why I have to start leaving It starts out with just getting up in appointments, phone, computer and an hour or two before I have to be By Rebecca Sande the morning. For some people, this is anything else my obsessive little somewhere. I do not drive myself And They Say It Could something you just do without much thoughts can find. It is only 10 A.M. anymore because I have a horrible thought. For me, there are days when and I am already dreading my day. fear that I will be the cause of some Be Worse I have to fight myself to get out of And now, a little bit about my major accident, so I take the bus. People always say that things bed and start my day. There are days attempts to go out in public. Let’s Some days the bus is the safest place could be worse. I am quite sure when I compromise with myself and talk about the voices in my head that to blend in with my surroundings, that indeed they could be. To some go back to bed after I do what I have yammer before I’ve even left home, but typically, not so much. people who see me, I seem to have to. Some days I wake up and begin the worry of the social mocking that Despite all of the daily challenges it all together. To the few who know I face, I let a smile be my armor. It’s the real me, even though I have a “I hope one day we all get to the point when we not especially easy for me to do so home and small support system, I on days when I just want to give up. sometimes feel like this is the worst. stop telling each other it could be worse and we Despite the people who see me and My name is Rebecca. I have two say things could be worse, I face wonderful sons, and I suffer from start making it better.” every day with a new hope that the severe mental health issues. My next day has to be a little better. illnesses range from MDD (major the day with little effort at all. is sure to come just from going out. I take my medicine and go to depressive disorder) and OCD Once the early morning struggle What about the people who will stare therapy like I am supposed to and it (obsessive compulsive disorder) to is over and I am semi-exhausted at me? What about the whisperings? truly helps. No one would look at an DID (dissociative identity disorder) with myself, I have another struggle What if someone follows me? What elderly person and tell them to get and schizoaffective disorder. Some ahead of me, which is eating. First, I if there is a horrible catastrophe? All over being old. So, I hope one day days are great and I love being the must have my black coffee. Once that of this and only one foot out of the we all get to the point when we stop quirky person that I am, while other first cup is in me, I may try to eat (a front door. Meanwhile, the logical telling each other it could be worse days are lower than low, and I just battle I sometimes lose). The mental side of me fights and screams that I and we start making it better. do not want to exist at all. It’s easy struggle of what should be a simple have to get the shopping done, or go for someone on the outside looking no-brainer has now turned into a pay that electric bill, and no one will

adventure, to people in pain,” she Lauren Slater Investigates buys gas masks for her family after 9/11, goes to psych hospitals with Psychology’s Most Famous fake symptoms, and takes opioids to see whether she’ll become addicted. Experiments Her husband’s objections to what he thinks are ridiculous, even dangerous By Carl Blumenthal ideas, spurs her on. Like all of us, Lauren Slater is a worst example. Of lesser ill repute Whether trying to be an honest bundle of contradictions: patient and are Stanley Milgram who tricked reporter or just expressing her psychologist. Multiply diagnosed human subjects into obeying his natural doubts, Slater generally but responsive to medication. Once commands and Harry Harlow who analyzes the pros and cons of each anorexic, now obese. Straight, abused monkeys to prove maternal hypothesis without choosing sides. married with kids and a lesbian attachment. Rather than pulling the proverbial lover. Fiction and non-fiction writer. Other investigators found rabbit out of the hat of uncertainty, Philosopher and funny girl. bystanders don’t help people in she invites readers to examine the In Welcome to My Country: A danger, we rationalize our behavior tricks of the experimental trade— Therapist’s Memoir of Madness to fit our beliefs, addiction in rats is a mainly overgeneralizing from small (1996), Prozac Diary (1998), Lying: matter of choice not genes, people’s human samples and animal models.

personal stories A Metaphorical Memoir (2000) memories of abuse can be invented, As in Welcome to My Country, to be or not and Opening Skinner’s Box: Great learning in sea slugs is neurological, she can be profound. What she says Psychological Experiments of the and brain surgery on the mentally ill about a patient with schizophrenia Twentieth Century (2004), she relieves distress. represents her philosophy of life: upsets our expectations of how peers The main exception to these anti- and professionals are supposed to humanistic rules: volunteers faked behave. hearing voices and were hospitalized “Not being is built into The first two books won acclaim against their wills, undermining the us as certainly as is for a psychologist who confessed her validity of psychiatric diagnosis. psychiatric history in vivid prose. Dr. Slater admires these scientists’ being. Every heartbeat As if such honesty were too good to ingenuity and how their experiments Slater has a knack for filling in be true, the next two volumes were changed the course of psychology, has its opposite, a missing evidence with descriptions criticized for playing loose with although some practices are now snatching away of of the landscape, outside and in her the truth. Since then Slater’s star considered outdated or harmful. mind. She orients us to the possibility has faded as she’s written about her Her subjects are an obsessive- sound, an evaporation we’re going in circles because “all pregnancy, children, fairy tales, and compulsive bunch. How else could of blood. Behind every of us are artists where images have animals. they have dedicated their careers to only the vaguest relationship to I find Opening Skinner’s Box her proving controversial ideas? If they presence lurks an reality.” most fascinating work. She believes over-promoted themselves and their Slater says of Elizabeth Loftus, psychology is more kindness than theories, this makes them intriguing absence. Loss, loss, the who challenged the recall of child diagnoses and treatments. More art characters in what reads like a animals cry.” abuse witnesses, “In the end [she] is (intuition) than science (reason). detective novel. just like the rest of us, only amplified, This insight isn’t new, but as a Slater adds to the excitement a blend of intelligence and blindness, creative writer before, during, by questioning our “prejudices.” “Not being is built into us as certainly with many soft spots.” and after her stint as a clinical For examples, she decides Skinner as is being. Every heartbeat has its Readers will have to decide psychologist, Slater’s imagination is wasn’t really authoritarian and opposite, a snatching away of sound, whether these soft spots are weakness her best tool. psychosurgery is now sophisticated an evaporation of blood. Behind or the milk of kindness. Though her Of the ten researchers on Slater’s enough to be beneficial. In the dire every presence lurks an absence. book was published 12 years ago, best-hits list, consumers of mental situations concocted for many of the Loss, loss, the animals cry.” Lauren Slater’s misgivings and love health care will probably dislike experiments, she imagines herself Who can prove or disprove in offerings are still relevant today. eight. Behaviorist B.F. Skinner failing such tests of moral courage. 256 pages research that consumed and his compliant rats are the Stating “I’m partial to jokesters, lifetimes? An intellectual explorer,

12 City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 legs. One was amputated. She died in ever happened to me. right after a meal, and fruit shouldn’t How I 2002. I felt partially responsible for Now I could search the Internet for be used as a dessert.” my wife’s situation. I focused on her answers to my fear of cancer, how #3 Combine foods rich in amino Conquered physical health, but never gave her to prevent and treat it. I found good acids to increase nutritional value. emotional support. advice from Burton Goldberg, doctors I repeat, combine foods. Examples My Fear of I didn’t take care of my mental Bernardo Majalca, Stanley Bass, Ian of foods that are rich in amino acids health. I thought about what happened Jacklin, and many others. include eggs, animal protein, legumes, to me when I was 11-½. I wanted to kill This is my conclusion: Cancer is grains, nuts and seeds. Quinoa is one Cancer and myself and tried twice. A psychiatrist not a death sentence. It’s a major of the few plant sources that contains a said I was bipolar. He gave me inconvenience. full balance of amino acids, according Improved My medication. I stayed in a hospital and #1 Cancer thrives on anger, to About.com (from reference.com). #4 Exercise. Aerobic exercise and/ Mental Health “My fear of cancer isn’t gone. Heredity is the or weight lifting are good for mental By Tiberius Bauer as well as physical health. X-factor. I am not going to worry about it. I Now you have information I wish Positive Thinking, I had when my wife was sick. Maybe Nutrition and Exercise decided I do not want to have fear anymore….If I it could have saved her life. Consult a Very Important physician and make your choice. save one life with my story I will be happy.” My fear of cancer isn’t gone. My father said, “Never forget. Heredity is the X-factor. I am not When you pray, pray like it would be went to a clinic. depression, anxiety, and bad thinking. going to worry about it. I decided I do your last day, and when you finish, Other family members got cancer. Think positively. Try cognitive not want to have fear anymore. live like you would live forever.” Six of my friends died from it. Nine behavior therapy and/or peer support If I don’t take care of my diabetes, I was born in Romania in 1951 and friends committed suicide. I had high groups. this is what’s going to happen: bad came with my family to the United blood pressure and kidney stones, poor #2 Sequential eating means eating circulation, blindness, amputated legs. States in 1965. eyesight and hearing, bad leg, arm, the right foods in the right order. First, cane. Second, walker. Third, I was sexually molested when 11-½ and shoulder, obesity and diabetes. Mostly fruits, vegetables, beans, nuts, wheelchair. Then nursing home. years-old. My nickname was “Fatso.” I was ready to die. I had the pills and grains. Eat all kinds of food in Finally, death. I want to live a normal My brother committed suicide in and I locked the door. My roommate sequential order. Dr. Stanley Bass life. 1976. Both my parents died in the called my cousin in New Jersey. I says, “Start with the food that has If I save one life with my story I will 1980s. My father from diabetes and was just about to take the pills when the highest water content, and work be happy. colon cancer. My mother had a stroke. my cousin called. He invited me out up to the food that has the highest fat Note: To buy the complete version personal stories My wife got diabetes. We went to for the weekend and said he had a content. Consume water or juices first, of his story, contact author at the Mayo Clinic and a doctor in Texas. surprise. then fruits, vegetables, grains, beans, HowIConqueredMyFearofCancer@

Insurance didn’t pay. I almost went The surprise was a Samsung 10- nuts and seeds and meats. This means gmail.com. It costs $19.99, plus tax sage advice broke. She had an operation on her inch tablet. It was the best thing that you shouldn’t drink liquids during or and shipping.

as well as underlying clinical depression melancholia, according to medical Avoid the and anxiety are risk factors. Even if you history. Before the 19th century, are a learning machine, my advice is to doctors thought that the mere act of Crushing take time to smell those roses because reading books could cause mental too much stress will take down even an instability. See “A Text-book on mental Consequences ubermensch gifted student. diseases” by Theodore H. Kellogg. The Statistics Also, see Wikipedia’s article on the of Studying One in four Americans suffer from history of depression: “Since Aristotle, a serious mental illness during their melancholia had been associated Too Hard lifetimes, most often depression or with men of learning and intellectual anxiety. Serious mental health issues can brilliance, a hazard of contemplation By William Jiang, MLS be triggered by the stress of university and creativity.” Might There Be a Link or years of workaholism. It is no According to the Census of 1890 coincidence that depression is soon to about one percent of one percent of Between Learning become the number one cause of long- the population or one in ten thousand and Depression? term death and disability worldwide by people in all of the United States had and depression or bipolar disorders.” 2020, according to the World Health a hospitalization for depression. Today Free full text of the article is available As September and the fall semester Organization. approximately one in seven people in to anyone who wishes to explore the begins, I remember the rush I had as the US suffers from clinical depression article in more depth at pubmed.gov. a university student caught up in the and the rate keeps going up. In 1890 few Back when I was an undergraduate, swirl of energy of my fellow students “Before the 19th people had the opportunity to educate we did not know as much as we do and myself, more than twenty years century, doctors themselves beyond a basic level of today about the science behind a healthy ago now. A smile lights up my face as I reading, writing, and arithmetic. Today, brain and body, so we can do much more recall, and then I think of a dark joke that thought that the mere one in four people in the U.S. is a college today than before to keep our minds and my brother taught me his freshman year graduate. As rates of college graduation bodies healthy. Paradoxically, college at MIT. A professor stands in front of a act of reading books go up year to year, so do the figures of students are less fit and more prone to window after leading a tour around the could cause mental people becoming clinically depressed. suicide than ever before. According to campus, and he asks the students, “Do The question becomes, “What can be Collegedegreesearch.net suicide rates you know why MIT’s colors are gray instability….‘Since done to stay healthy?” for our youth are three times what they and red?” All the freshmen students Protection: Omega-3 Fish Oil and were back in the 1950’s, and diabetes shake their heads. Just then, outside Aristotle, melancholia the Prevention of Clinical Depression rates are going through the roof among of the window, everybody sees a body had been associated I worked as a medical library chief the Internet Generation. falling to the cement below. “That’s at the leading psychiatric hospital I gave only one tip in this article about why.” says the professor. with men of learning in the United States, New York how to keep your brain healthy. For MIT has a higher suicide rate than the and intellectual State Psychiatric Institute/Columbia more great tips and techniques on how national average, but the joke reflects Psychiatry, so I have a bad habit of to keep your brain healthy and running an underlying truth about campus life brilliance, a hazard of quoting Medline to prove points. From in top form, as well as improving your all over the United States. According to the electronic publication Oxidative university performance, I invite you to Collegedegreesearch.net, there are about contemplation Medicine and Cellular Longevity, March check out my book on Amazon: “Guide 1,100 suicides on campuses around and creativity.’” 18, 2014, there is a journal article titled to Natural Mental Health: Anxiety, the USA each year, and, shockingly, “Omega-3 fatty acids and depression: Bipolar, Depression, Schizophrenia, six percent of all undergraduates have scientific evidence and biological and Digital Addiction: Nutrition, and seriously considered suicide. Why is Reading and Mental Illness mechanisms” wherein the abstract Complementary Therapies.” contemplating suicide so common University students read a lot. states that “..several epidemiological If you feel suicidal please call the among university students these days? A Problem? Maybe. Even high-achieving studies reported a significant inverse National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at lot of stress, abuse of drugs and alcohol, readers are predisposed to bouts of correlation between intake of oily fish 1-800-273-8255.

City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 13 someone dies of cancer we mourn understand the basic facts. It’s like Op-Ed: The Public’s openly. If someone commits suicide trying to explain what salt taste like we don’t talk about it. without using the word “salty.” Misunderstanding of Our Have you ever noticed a sign in Mental illness is a stigma, don’t your neighborhood advertising a get me wrong. I just wish there was Disorders BBQ chicken sale to support Dave in a more accurate and severe phrase By John his battle with (insert horrible disease like, “Mark of shame that you can here)? Communities rally together never speak of, but screams more the mental health or “Behavioral to support someone they might not about who you are than anything you Comparing the Services” area is just that, an area. even know. I think it’s wonderful will ever do.” You know something Perception of Mental These cancer centers are usually and shows great compassion. catchy like that. adorned with someone’s name However, I’ve never seen a banner My point is that cancer is Illness to Cancer proudly emblazoned across the in my neighborhood that said, “Hey, horrible, but it gets the attention and I wish I had cancer. That’s not building. They are proud to have support Jeff. He suffers from severe funding it deserves. Mental illness what I mean exactly. I wouldn’t wish donated money to such a worthy depression and is unable to maintain is also horrible, but it is hidden, that horrible disease on anyone. cause. You would probably have to a job.” “Stop being lazy and suck misunderstood and left only the What I wish, is that my disorder had go back 100 years to find a dead it up like everyone else,” would be dregs of support and usually only the same respect as cancer. In 2010 I artist that would be willing to have most people’s response as they drove after someone has killed himself was diagnosed as being bipolar and their name associated with the past my fictitious sign. or herself. I have been struggling introduced to the world of mental mentally ill. The behavioral services Lately, I’ve heard the mantra for over seven years with my own illness. I was also made painfully are also sometimes lumped in with “Stop the Stigma,” which I fully disorder, often alone. Even my aware that I shouldn’t tell anyone the same people that are detoxing. support. However, it’s a gross wife, who spends every day with me and that what I had was to be kept That’s right, if you are schizophrenic misrepresentation of the problem. doesn’t comprehend my struggles. in the shadows and not shouted from or bipolar you are housed with the the rooftops. same people that are addicted to Quick—right now—what month drugs whether they have a mental “I wish I had cancer. That’s not what I mean is Breast Cancer Awareness Month? illness or not. They need help too exactly. I wouldn’t wish that horrible disease on What color is the ribbon? I bet 9 out and I’m glad they are getting it, but of 10 people know that it’s October when you go and get heart surgery anyone. What I wish, is that my disorder had the and the color is pink. You know are you sitting next to someone what? That is great. However, did drying out? No, they would never same respect as cancer.” you know May is Mental Health dream of combining cardiology with awareness? Only if you or someone the “crazy people”. Pitbulls have a stigma. Used car Mental illness is such a sad state you love has a mental illness. If When researching cancer, one salesmen have a stigma. What that I fantasize about being absurdly there is a ribbon for mental health of the big statistics that National people with a mental illness have successful just so I can talk and awareness, I have no idea what the Cancer Institute keeps track of is is a debilitating disease that is advocate about my illness. That’s color is. Just in case that didn’t sink mortality and understandable so. misunderstood to the rest of society the level of disdain mental illness in, it’s more acceptable for men Dying sucks. But, you know what in the same way that Greeks thought carries. One has to have celebrity to talk about women’s breast for else sucks? Suicide. That’s how we the Earth was the center of the status to be able to withstand the a month than it is for anyone talk track the mortality rate of mental universe. That’s not a stigma, that’s social prejudice that these disorders about mental illness. illnesses. By the way, suicide is the a fundamental misunderstanding have. Until then, I will continue to All of the hospitals I have visited 3rd leading cause of the death in the of the basic facts. People, society, fake a smile and pray in silence for have cancer “centers.” While US among people aged 10-24. If media and even my family don’t those worse off that even myself.

One of the first aggressive episodes worse as I matured and held more me, but I am better at maintaining How a Car that I can remember was at age 13. I responsibilities. I didn’t understand my life. If not for that car accident I punched a boy and he fell to the floor. my anger, confusion and almost don’t know where I would be. Accident I remember an incredible feeling of constant anxiety. I had explosive There are people who don’t uneasiness beginning that school arguments wherever I went. believe that I have a mental illness. A Saved My Life year. Sophomore year in high school By the age of 20, I was a college few weeks ago when I was confiding I punched the kid sitting in front of graduate and in the workforce. I was how I felt, someone said to me, “No. personal stories By LAF me. My moods were very erratic. I very independent and successful at That didn’t happen, you never said work, but my anxiety and confusion that before, that’s not ADHD.” If I Do You Have An X-Ray hit a new peak. Everything was had thought to give a report of my To Prove It? “At the age of 23, I thrilling and overbearing at the daily life for all these years would same time. The obsessiveness was they still question me? I’m 47 years old, was diagnosed had a car accident in control. My stomach spun just If I was to “report” the events of with bipolar around age 25 and that indirectly led as fast as the thoughts in my head. an average day it might go like this: ADHD at age 44. Last week I learned People were calling me crazy to my “I had an argument with you today that I have the triad: bipolar, ADHD me to mental health face and behind my back. I agreed in my office. Luckily I realized that and OCD. For twenty-four years with them. you weren’t there before someone after college I held nine jobs before treatment. I never At the age of 23, I had a car walked in and caught me. I think the I became disabled at the age of 44. should have been accident that indirectly led me to fire alarm above my desk might be Receiving a diagnosis didn’t mental health treatment. I never a camera. When I left, I thought the change who I was, but it explained behind the wheel of a should have been behind the wheel toaster might be on so I went back. a lot. I was overwhelmed yet of a car. I had no intention of being After I was in my car I thought the empowered by the information. I car. I had no intention reckless, but I wasn’t being safe light was on, so I went back. On was always told that my behavior, of being reckless, either. The car spun around a few the way home I ended up in New thoughts and words were wrong, times, flipped over and landed on Bedford. I thought I didn’t lock the and I agreed. I was taken to the but I wasn’t being its side. I simply crawled out of the gate, so I went back. Home now. Did doctor twice in my teens for being car and waited for the police. The I spell-check the last document that depressed. Both doctors just said safe either.” orthopedic doctor I saw asked why I emailed? I have to go drive around to relax. Now I want to scream I was on valium, and handed me the the block because I may have I hit from the highest peak, “I have the was a quiet student one moment, a business card of a psychiatrist. something.” answer! Maybe now I can change!” raging tornado the next. Words were I was originally treated for Even without complete acceptance But, that’s not how everyone else my most powerful weapons. I spoke depression before the diagnosis of (or an x-ray), I’m thankful for my saw it. Some of the first responses before thoughts had a chance to be bipolar. Once the right combinations doctor, medications, support group, I got were, “Do you have an x-ray processed. My insides spun like a of meds were found, I felt for the volunteering, hobbies and the love to prove it?” and, “The doctor is just hamster wheel. If I wasn’t scared, I first time like I had support. I’ve of my family that allows me to trying to get money out of you. Stop had the confidence of Super Girl. been in treatment with medications maintain my life with mental illness. taking the medication.” In college I felt progressively ever since. My illness is always with

14 City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 (Continued Art Section: Fountain House Gallery and Studio on pages 8-9 ) them is their use of lines. abstraction, or landscape, I like to Plains Women’s Club. I entered four Alyson’s Answers (Cont’d) 5. My first official exhibit was in express myself with a self portrait drawings and won third place. 2. I wouldn’t say I have a specific Fountain House’s “Mad About Art” because I can make an image and not medium. I will use anything and show in 2013. worry about how I look or whether Susan’s Answers (Cont’d) everything, but I love making things the model will feel comfortable in the because she is a conceptual artist out of fabric. Anthony’s Answers (Cont’d) pose, or having enough money to hire a with a brilliant mind. 3. I enjoy making nature scenes and Restaurant now defunct in The model in the first place. 5. My first art show was at ‘The also cityscapes. I think most of my Village (New York City), 1994. 4. I like all art. I have no favorites, Living Museum Open House’ in work is abstract. heroes, or nemeses. The more I see, the Queens Village, New York in January 4. I have always loved Paul Klee and B. Michael’s Answers (Cont’d) more inspired I become. Visual art is of 1998. The Living Museum was an Joan Miro. I also like Kandinsky and make because of layering, color about the visual and if you can grab the art program I used to attend, but was Mondrian. Recently, I discovered an combinations, and wetness. viewer in the first 15 seconds, I believe thrown out after I changed my mind artist named Hundertwasser. He’s my 3. The self portrait. Even though I you have made a successful image. about being the main subject of an new favorite. What I love about all of make more income from a still-life, 5. My first showing was at the White HBO documentary.

My Mental Health Journey: Stand Up Against Stigma! By Jacquese Armstrong I Educate the Next Generation by Disclosing My “Mental Illness”

I’ve lived most of my life literally Now, I have many projects that walking through the valley of the would be all but impossible to do shadow of death. And yet, hope and without disclosing. Of course, it was fighting stigma resilience follow me as if I know the a journey. way out. But the one thing I have Before 2006, my “mental illness” no hope of changing or getting over was my most well-guarded secret. is being considered a throw-away I lost a lot of friends in those first person in this society. couple of years in the 80s and there These are the words I choose to were whispers and stares, but then start the introductory essay in a I moved more than once. Because I memoir of essays I call Informed was still in and out of the hospital, I Naivete. One could think that my developed lies and kept them going. assertion is a bit skewed or harsh, The lies were used to patch the but these are my thoughts associated holes in my resume, explain the eight with the aftermath of the dreaded “s” years it took me to finish college, word. the many colleges I attended, the Often, I’ve thought that if disappearances, and the work everyone who has, or cared about absences. The world definitely someone with, a mental illness doesn’t make it easy for you to stood up against stigma, we would resume the race and the charade outnumber the rest. Where would becomes a job within itself. It also the stigma be then? And stigma is led to undue stress and anxiety. iron and asked, “What’s wrong because of my challenges. real. It can not only make your social It fueled my paranoid symptoms, with my hair?” This was the day I started Project Onset, still life uncomfortable, but it can greatly which at the time, were not under of a huge self-embrace. The 2006 in its infancy, which is a part of affect your ability to earn a decent control at all. I was always in a state documentary I participated in was the African-American Outreach living. of flux, wondering who knew. another. Looking back, that decision program of NAMI-NJ (National So, why do I choose to disclose I came to realize that I was was the beginning of my making Alliance on Mental Illness-New my mental health challenges? Why stigmatizing myself by living in sense of this mess. Jersey). Through testimonies from would I publish articles under fear and shame, playing into the Self-disclosure provided me with a person with mental illness whose my birth name, publish a poetry stigma game. I asked myself, “How the freedom to come out of the onset happened in college (me), a chapbook on my mental health can I call for an end to stigma and shadows into the sun and be the parent of a college-age student and challenges and welcome the chance discrimination if I am ashamed person my Maker intended me to be; a mental health professional, young to speak on mental health challenges myself.” who I am. It was a tremendous boost adults and their families receive an to my self-esteem. education on how mental illness can Years ago, at the age of 34, my occur in those crucial years. “…I just want to be able to make some sense grandparents had a discussion with In the end, I just want to be able me about my illness. They said, to make some sense of my pain of my pain and helping people is the best way “Jacquese, this is God’s Will for and helping people is the best way you…you have to accept it.” Then, I know to do that. So, I educate, I know to do that. So, I educate, motivate and I thought they were “crazier” than motivate and inspire on a grassroots inspire on a grassroots level because I know I was, but now I see the wisdom in level because I know it’s needed. It what they told me. is a purpose-filled life, driven by the it’s needed. It is a purpose-filled life, driven by First of all, you can’t heal from desire to help eradicate stigma for the something you don’t accept and next generation of survivors. That is the desire to help eradicate stigma for the next you must try to heal. You can fight why I make the decision to disclose generation of survivors.” against it, but in the end, you’re my psychiatric illness. It helps me to fighting against yourself. take control of my destiny. I know Second, most people want to find that only I can control whether I feel and stigma and why am I so adamant It’s almost like making the purpose and meaning in life. Why ashamed or not. Stigma feeds on about it, knowing what I know? decision to go natural with your hair. am I here? Why am I suffering? For shame. Although I am a psychiatric When I did, it wasn’t popular and me, if I have to suffer (and I have), So, imagine if everyone with, or survivor of 35 years, I have only it’s still not aesthetically pleasing to then let me help someone else to who cared about someone with, a disclosed since 2006 when I agreed some employers. I looked at myself rejoin society without missing too “mental illness” stood. Then, we to be interviewed for a documentary in the mirror one day as I blow-dried many steps. Let me enable them could all just get back to the business on mental illness and minorities. my hair and curled it with a curling to embrace the opportunities I lost of living.

City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018 15 IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR WRITERS My name is Dan Frey, editor-in-chief of City Voices: A Peer Journal for Mental Health. I am looking for people who want to write about their personal experiences with substance use disorders, and/or mental illness. Poetry too. We will use your first name or a pen-name as author unless you specifically request that your full name be used. Writers must be over the age of 18, and understand that they are/may be disclosing private health information about themselves. Because articles will be posted on the Internet, writers understand that the information contained in published articles will be permanently available to the public.

Writers will not be compensated for their submissions, but can get a free copy of the paper that their article appears in. If interested, email [email protected] and I’ll send to you the PDF of our last issue to help you decide if you want to submit your article.

Working and Living Well Job Opportunities/Special Notices/Roommates/Personals

Employment Agencies RESOURCE AND WELLNESS CENTER, Telephone Resources WRITING WORKSHOP: For Fun, Healing, 882 3rd Ave, 10th Fl. (718) 788-6100 and Publishing! Led by children’s book NETWORK PLUS RAINBOW HEIGHTS CLUB, 25 Flatbush NYC WELL 888-692-9355 author Morella Bynoe, LMSW and published (718) 797-2509 Ave (718) 852-2584 NAMI HELPLINE: Mental health phone poet/editor Rev. Lisa Roma. Twice monthly NETWORK PLUS WEST SEAMARK CENTER, 2559-65 West 13 St. resource and database (212) 684-3264 meetings, convenient locations, online (718) 377-8567 (718) 372-0450 THE TREVOR HOTLINE: If you or a instruction. Option to publish work and do KADIMAH CLUBHOUSE, 4510 16th Ave young person you care about needs support public readings. Contact morellabynoe@ Legal Help (718) 686-3180 call our lifeline at 866-488-7386. It’s free, aol.com or CreativWomenNtwk@aol. METRO CLUB PROS, 25 Chapel St (718) confidential and available 24/7. Learn more at com for more info/registration. Visit www. MFY LEGAL SERVICES (212) 417-3700 596-8960 TheTrevorProject.org. creativewomensnetwork.com. URBAN JUSTICE CENTER (646) 602-5658 The Bronx QUEENS COUNTY MENTAL NYC BAR ASSOCIATION (212) 626-7373 LANTERN HOUSE, 512 Southern Blvd HEALTH SOCIETY: For information Support Groups LEGAL AID SOCIETY (212) 426-3000 (718) 993-1078 and referrals (718) 454-0705 FOUNTAIN HOUSE BRONX, 564 Walton ZAPPALORTI SOCIETY support group for Housing Ave (718) 742-9884 Advocacy gays/lesbians/bisexuals/transgendered peers Queens with mental illness. Saturdays 2-4, LGBT CUCS (212) 801-3300 CITIVIEW CONNECTIONS, 42-15 Crescent NYAPRS: statewide mental health advocacy Center 208 W 13 St. Call Bert (917) 286- COMMON GROUND St. (718) 361-7030 group that sponsors events and organizes the 0616. (212) 389-9300 VENTURE HOUSE, 150-10 Hillside Ave annual Legislative Day. To join call Carla HEARING VOICES SUPPORT GROUP. OHEL (718) 851-6300 (718) 658-7201 (212) 780-1400x7726 A group for people who hear voices. Call COMMUNITY ACCESS (212) 780-1400 Staten Island MHASC: coalition committed to providing (212) 684-3264 for info. classifieds SUS (212) 633-6900 SKYLIGHT CENTER, 307 St. Mark’s Pl. advocacy to consumers in special housing CO-OCCURRING ILLNESS SUPPORT (718) 720-2585 units in jails and prisons. Call Jennifer (646) GROUP: monthly group for MICA Clubs and Clubhouses 602-5644. consumers. Call (212) 684-3264 for info. THE ICARUS PROJECT: join to help MOOD DISORDERS SUPPORT GROUP: Manhattan Volunteer/Work redefine mental illness as a “dangerous gift.” for people with bipolar disorder and FOUNTAIN HOUSE, 425 W 47 St. (212) 582- Positions Available Visit www.theicarusproject.net depression, as well as the friends and family 0340 of those with these disorders. Suggested CHELTON LOFT, 119 W 19 St. (212) 727- BALTIC STREET AEH seeks FT/PT peer The Arts $5.00 donation for non-members. We also 4360 advocates. Computer/Office skills, peer offer a group designed for people under HARLEM BAY NETWORK PROS, 4 W 125 advocacy or related experience a plus. Call ARTWORK BY CONSUMER ARTISTS: 30, (212) 533-6374, [email protected], www. St (212) 876-6083 Marianna (718)-833-5929. Advocacy through Fountain Gallery, 702 Ninth Ave at 48th mdsg.org EAST VILLAGE ACCESS PROS, empowerment is our mission. Street in Manhattan (212) 262-2756. Tues-Sat 264 East Second Street NAMI NYC METRO: assist with office 11-8, Sun 1-5. Social (212) 780-9008 help, including mailings, answering phones, RITA PROJECT: Survivors of suicide THE FRIENDSHIP NETWORK: If you produce artwork at Greenwich House Pottery organizing files, making phone calls, and want a friend or need a friend, then meet a Brooklyn near West 4th Street www.ritaproject.org many other office tasks. This position is open friend through the Friendship Network. Call EAST NY CLUBHOUSE, 2697 MOVIE CLUB/POETRY CLUB: NAMI to those without prior experience. Call (212) Alice, Nancy or Barbara at 516-326-6111 or Atlantic Ave (718) 235-5780 NYC Metro, 505 Eighth Ave, (212) 684-3264 684-3264 or email [email protected] www.friendshipnetwork.org also [email protected]

16 City Voices - Vol.XXI No.1 - Winter 2018