The tie that binds since 1926 The Cored Weekly

Cord International exposes FX) pumpkins really toss their cookies?

Ugandan child soldiers... Page 11 Halloween folklore... Page 14

Issue 10 Volume 45 Wednesday October 27, 2004 www.clublaurier.ca

Fine Arts cancelled

Reason for cancellation unclear; One student calls decision "poor reflection of higher learning"

FRASER KING be now will receiving. '"I feel News Editor who in sorry for the students are

the I feel the program. they are 4 6 HP here will be no fine arts ones who are cheated." said X booth at Laurier this Day Awan.

year." said Imran Awan. a Potential fine arts students tutorial assistant for fine arts thinking of Laurier will be turned Robert courses. Campbell. Dean in the away future. When asked of the Faculty of Arts, according what kind of fine art options were to Awan. has cancelled the Fine available to potential students, Arts program. Awan noted: "No. No options at The Fine Arts is program all. they will be going else- to be out over the going cycled where." next few so that students years While official notice will be currently enrolled in the program given to fine art students in class will not be left stranded by the on November 2, members of the sudden cancellation. "The way Fine Arts Council were suspi- will be they've set it up, no one cious of a possible future cancel- interrupted," noted Awan. "'I am "The lation. way that we found really upset about this program out was from students calling in being cancelled. 1 think it is a from highschool asking what poor reflection of higher learn- happened to the fine arts," said said ing," Katie Attwell a fourth Awan year honours history and general "[Campbell] made this deci- fine arts major. sion over the summer. It had to be Dean Campbell would not planned," said Awan, continuing comment on the issue, noting that that "1 seriously don't know [why comment any would be prema- Miranda MacDonald the announcementwas delayed]." ture. a Fine Arts class, an artist himself on canvas. Laurier's Fine Arts The exact reason for the can- During expresses Saying goodbye to

The Cord Editorial reaction to the cancellation on cellation is unclear; however, Program: Weekly's page 6.

"There are a Michal Manson, a Fine Arts quite pro- out." Tracy Fisher, a fourth year fessor, noted that "I don't know if few details that I English student said: "I think it is this is down in set stone, but I unfortunate that have not been privy really they are understand that they would rather basically destroying the only arts to, we are just going Football sets " have no classes under 60 stu- courses 1 wanted to take. to have to wait." dents, which is much pretty In addition to the core Fine impossible in studio courses." Arts program, certain other class- - Michael Manson, Fine Arts "The rumour has being going es are also going to be cancelled,

professor around for a few about Fine best years most notably two Arts personal being cancelled, four maybe Communications studio courses

or so," the decision still left years that are cross-listed with Fine While the is program being he noted "I Awan shocked, felt Arts although details are not name was crossed off as York cycled out no new fine art stu- that fine arts was a very strong clear, "there are quite a few Golden Hawks University tossed the visitors six dents will be enrolled. Awan was thing, it was a for always way details that I have not been win privy interceptions, an eighth and skeptical about the quality of pro- students to let their creativities we are win to, just going to have to the best season record for gram that the students in fine arts against regular said Manson. wait," Hawks football team Not finish a ever. Laurier is going to be missing York; since 1966, when the Waterloo

out on than diver- more program Lutheran namesake won seven, WLU Globe season with aces - there were report sity plans to start up has the organization finished with a Fine Arts club for students: undefeated "we perfect record an record. APRIL were planning to do murals on CUNNINGHAM prised. News the and Editor walls all these sort "The setting core message here is Laurier 38 -19 York BRYAN SHINN of things up for fine arts students pretty much what I expected," he The Sports Editor grades are in and The Globe for the future and now as well," says. and Mail's said University Report Awan, explaining "with this After the quarterback The Globe used the stu- game, Card Toronto. Windsor, Western, has Laurier have to given an over- news we rethink every- reflected on the dentawards.com on-line data- Ryan Pyear all mark McMaster, Waterloo, Guelph and of A-minus in a ranking thing." "There have base to almost 28,000 full accomplishment. survey Ottawa. For Golden Hawk fans that included other Canadian in those associated general, been a lot of to come and part-time students. Laurier players these names read more like an institutions. with Fine Arts find the entire sit- post-secondary Laurier, a lot of good was placed in the small through category assassin's hit list than the team's With marks in uation distasteful. "It feels like top overall teams. And for to be the first for 12 schools with less than us 2004 schedule. For each and there won't be in the oppo- university experience a near creativity team that has 8-0, 12,500 students. actually gone nent, the fate: defeat fail in said same a cour- affordability of off-cam- school anymore," Awan. "It that's something special." Rosehart says that he doesn't tesy of the stiff arm of Ontario's pus and facili- has been a fabulous and I housing parking like job, am the way we were classified. best football team. ties, grades varied to miss it. 1 on the student going am sorry that "We're more similar to Brock

- Perfect services On Saturday afternoon a final Please see page 18 considered. the whole situation can't be seen and he Those Ryerson," says. Dr. Robert Rosehart, to have the value that it does schools were part of the medium President and Vice Chancellor of have." said Manson. category. Laurier just missed that Wilfrid Laurier Lacrosse falls short University says that in general, he's not sur- With files from Caitlin Hewlett

- Please see Report, 2 Hawks move without full 18 page to playoffs perfect season... story page 2 News Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

Inquiry: Welker not guilty News Bites ELECTORAL REFORM

On October 25, Anthony Creswell Vice Cray, Piscitelli, the WLUSU President: University Affairs decide drinking went to a Waterloo City Council meeting and asked the council to on the Dean's examine the current local elec-

toral specifically the did not process, Trip the ward is struc- way system violate Welker's tured. Piscitelli noted in a press release that Councillor Mark

favourable the own policy Whaley was to idea and furthermore that a

BLAIR FORSYTH-STARK review of the municipal electoral

Staff Writer system would take place next

January which would allow any

Wilfrid Laurier Welker, changes to be put in place for the SteveUniversity's Students' Union 2006 elections.

President and CEO, was found LAURIER HATES SMOKERS not guilty of violating WLUSU

policy by a committee this past Lauder's current 10 metre ban week. Welker, who admitted to on smoking, which bans all the drinking on a gondola during 10 of smoking within metres any Dean's - annual Trip a WLUSU become university building may sponsored event - was under much more potent in the near review for his actions that may future. Citing a lack of compli- have violated WLUSU's new

ance with the cun-ent 10 metre Risk Management policy. April Cunningham smoking ban, the WLU Board of The committee, which is A recently conducted a council of WLUSU BOD members found the President have Governors inquiry by recently to is considering a total composed of two WLUSU committed Pictured no wrongdoing. on the left is Steve Welker contemplating the finer things in life. ban on smoking on all university Director members, Laura Gray Jacobs, the "There was free time, it was- alcoholic Students the risk that property. Marilyn and Trevor Cresswell, presented beverages. are management policy noted in a n't business 24/7," stated to adhere to the is in effect now," stated university secretary, their decision to the Board of Gray, required provin- right release that referendum who also chairs the Risk cial laws and the of the press a Directors (BOD) last week. policies Cresswell. would be conducted in Committee. the likely When asked how Welker's Management University governing posses- Gray stated that there was no 2005 before Welker's actions did violate sion and/or of alco- the committee early any policy actions, which violated provin- consumption pressure put on to is the Board of the Student Code of Conduct and holic deliver certain verdict and"the change brought to cial law, didn't violate the policy, beverages." a which that: Governors for approval. Discipline, states "a Gray indicated that viola- decision that we made, we stand Cresswell indicated, "The actions any student that be disciplined tions of the Code wouldn't have behind in question were conducted in may fully." BRANTFORD REPORT the for the follow- to do with the BOD. "The unofficial WLUSU time." by University com-

offences: Unlawful use of mittee's decision based ing was on The Lumberjack Lounge of

Grand River Hall at the Laurier

Brantford campus was alive with

activity as the WLUSU Open Forum answered questions and bolsters WLU settled issues, reports Lyndsey Report ratings Jones, the Chair of the WLUSU Board of Directors. Jones noted

that some of the most important mediocre better computer categories Five schools have on- issues covered were Brantford' Rosehart to work on the were overall quality and avail- campus pubs/bars, according to pledges visibility, the relationship with ability of technology on those "That campus, surveyed. destroys the Waterloo and estab- campus, of of low-graded categories availability up-to-date comput- our reputation a bit," says report lishing a shuttle bus service er on and Rosehart. equipment campus between the two campuses. that the D - at Report, from cover grades are looked in computer help-line/assistance. With a in parking facilities,

relation to other schools. Rosehart ensures that "parking is cut-off around 1000 students. by For in police to a safer environ- example, library serv- constantly something we're promote "That our In of class destroys categories sizes, Laurier ment. ices, received a B, working at," despite the fact that overall a bit." university experience, reputation Rosehart that "which is not bad, but there were most schools indicated that their Overall, says and school the spirit, University nine schools with administration will to read a higher grade parking was poor. Food services try - Robert Rose hart, WLU President, received two A's and an A-plus what can into such [in the small he are also they reports as category]," says. commonly given poor bar respectively. There other referring to on-campus rating these. were a couple marks among all Canadian uni- "We're in a league by our- service-gradings that stand out versity students. "Surveys give some indica- selves there," Rosehart. He says for Rosehart. services tion of where we should be look- "We need to look behind "Library and com- notes that many people were sur- In services ing to he relating to com- that," says Rosehart. puting is something we're tuned improve," says."I with the for prised high rating He wouldn't to puting, WLU ranked poorer than also notes that off-campus into," he adds. say you've got plan class sizes, but it's to important For He the on these was expected. computer safety/security received a low also says Laurier is work- university things." realize that students of all To the years on mark of B-minus with with the see set of accessibility campus, we a whoop- ing City to promote complete asked. classes were First-year received but six results to an A-minus, ing 10 schools that got higher more affordable off-campus go www.globeand- here are still quite large. mail.com/reportcard. schools got higher marks. Other ones. housing, and with the Waterloo It's also important, he says,

Do you have something to say?

Than say it: [email protected] i News Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly 3

The Cord Weekly's... Cord 5 Day Action News Weather Forecast clippings

NATIONAL

Ontario doesn't want to share

Mount Allison U its Ontario, being one of the most vote well-off does on not gets provinces, want to have its wealth redis-

tributed other among provinces worked out but there is the it could being right now, possibility government . . . you'd probably that are not quite so well-off. MountAllison the (student union) won't have have a in voter Premier Dalton negative impact on on- see a huge spike McGuinty says information Students' Union access to any they campus voters, who have been turnout." that Ontario willnot support the

don't have," said. out in numbers as as Another already Pyne coming high student, Stephanie equalization payment program The will administer 98 in residences. "It's developing e-voting university per cent some Jackson, said: great that that will be discussed at a first

the passwords and login names, "The solution is not voter turnout would but minister's summit this procedures for really increase, week. and the students in the course will found in how but rather if all have do is you vote, you to stay at McGuinty plainly states that he their student test using fake IDs who's student home and a upcoming program running," Angus click, you might get agrees that all Canadians and McKinnon said. passwords. "If a candidate lot more people making unin- should receive fair treatment elections The of the could who formed completion project emerge could offer a decisions." not just people living in equal- by the computer science class is clearly different plan for positive ization receiving provinces but

before can and attainable in KATHLEEN GADD necessary Pyne pres- change student there is a limit to how much Allison The Argosy, Mount ent his proposal and put on a Ontario should distribute from

demonstration of the system for its wealth.

N.B. - The SACKVILLE, (CUP) the student council. He hopes to Vocal Cord foundation for online student have a finished system by late PROVINCIAL union elections is being laid at November. Transplant discovery Mount Allison but the University, If an online system is imple- do think Why you voter turnout is so low at WLU? is far from cement dry. mented, the onus would be on The Sick Kids Hospital in see a Although many comput- students to get to a computer in '1 don't think peo- Toronto has discovered that erized as a system being remedy order to vote. Pyne doesn't think ple care, really. children who receive heart to Most undeniably poor off-campus this would be too difficult. people just go "I think it's because transplants from non-matching there their voter are several is one through cares." turnout, "There computer for every- nobody blood type donors seem to be roadblocks between the idea and day life. It's rather every 12 students on campus," able to tolerate the donor's sad." implementation. Pyne said. blood type. This discovery has An undisclosed computer sci- TOM MCCOURT GARY KOTSOPOULOS, prompted researchers to and class is try ence developing a secure 3RD YEAR 2ND YEAR "If all have to do find ways of having older you HISTORY online voting system. The project PSYCHOLOGY the is at home patients able to tolerate is a major component of their stay and same. This will lead to greater course work, but if "It's like demo- who significant click, you might get a any 'People are survival rates for cratic patients problems arise, is not showing to vote completion lot more process... up people awaiting transplants because for people just don't know what WLUSU required them to pass. making uninformed non-matching could be feel like they can all about... so it's organs The proposal to switch to is only used. decisions." ever really affect those who paperless elections has been in reaching arc the works for change." alicady involved" almost three years. - Stephanie Jackson, The LOCAL student union's chief return- HOLLY CHESTER, 4TH LAURA CAREY, YEAR ENGLISH AND 3RD YEAR Car accident kills ing officer, Ryan Pyne. said his MountAllison student tivo teenagers ANTHROPOLOGY ANTHROPOLOGY

is "to leave a benchmark" goal AND ARCHAEOLOGY

for future holders of his Five teenagers were driving position He also suggests the novelty if online doesn't become "I think it's because "Ithink home from a high school hock- voting a of an Internet-based election people arc

this academic of academics. with other ey on Saturday night reality year. would boost interest, though he busy game Students when the sci- are too things... if it doesn't the driver lost control of Currently, computer recognizes the need to advertise with involve then the she swerved down ence class is to create preoccupied you, van as attempting will be great, especially the first school." each people just aren't the road, a tree. Of the a login system to ensure stu- time. hitting interested." dent five all from votes only once. This raises of teenagers, Although one the goals of but said Listowel District Secondary privacy concerns; Pyne an online election would be to PATRICK CARSON, JESSICA MCDONALD, School, two died The there's nothing to about. increase 2ND YEAR instantly. worry off-campus turnout, 3RD YEAR PSYCHOLOGY "A two who Tara secure process of logging in is SOCIOLOGY teenagers died, McDonald and Katelyn Brisbin,

were not wearing seatbelts when their friend, Elysha stolen in raid Brears, lost control as they trav- Papers daring moonlight elled east on a side road off Highway 23. The remaining three twelfth-graders suffered only minor injuries. The OPP Cord volunteers make it out onto the racks." have disappointed and not been an issue," said says that no alcohol was Precautions are being taken Howlett. Radcliffe echoed about involved and the weather con- frustrated theft of 1000 to future by papers prevent a occurrence of the office situation: "it would not ditions theft but the could have were good. problem have been a problem at all." FRASER been KING avoided altogether: "if we frustrating to volunteers, organi- News Editor Compiled by Louise Kaddour were in our old office, this would zations that advertise in The

Cord be concerned with The may a Cord Weekly was greeted possible reduced circulation. "As with a shock on the morning of far as we are concerned, the actu- Thursday, October 21st. WLUSP al loss of the is staff papers not a detri- and volunteers discovered The Cord Weekly ment to the advertisers," that 1,000 approximately papers IS A had been explained Craig Radcliffe, taken from storage WLUSP President, further not- before they could be distributed

"what we see is around the school. ing: happening people reading other The 1,000 people's missing papers copies. If there is a problem, I represented about one sixth of President. will deal with Cr.ng Radcime the it on a case case total print ran of by VP: Finance ArthurWong papers. "It basis." VP:Advertising Angela Foster was disappointing and frus- very Human Resources HendraSaitm There is no currently lunde trating," said Caitlin Howlett, person Chair of the Board igii Kernel or of in Vice Chair. Szreiber Editor in Chief of The group persons suspected Cord Board of Directors Mike D'Aioisio the theft. "We would Weekly. prefer not to Eden Orbach blame have Jordan Jocius anyone, we no evi- Laurier's Security Services The Cord Weekly is the official student newspaper of Wilfrid were dence," said Radcliffe, continu- notified Laurier It is an independent but no suspicious University. editorially newspaper published by Wilfrid Laurier Student Publications, "it could University ing: be someone Waterloo, a without activity was reported between angry corporation share capital. WLUSP is gov- erned by its board of directors. at article." the hours of an "It could be 12:00 am and 8:00 Opinions expressed are those of the author and do not neces- it could have sarily reflect those of the Editorial Board, The Cord, WLUSP. am, the time pranksters, just when no WLUSP WLU or Hamilton Web Printing.

been some students staff or who decided volunteers Cord rates $20.00 term for with- were in the subscription are per addresses in Canada. The Cord is printed by Hamilton Web Printing and is to play a prank." building where the published every Wednesday papers are Howlett stored. A forlorn suspects Howlett noted something Wilfrid Laurier University StudentPublications that more sinister, noting "the only 75 University Avenue West, security has had no reports Waterloo, Ontario. N2L 3C5 that I whatsoever." thing can say is that really (519)884-1970ext. 3564 it is Fax: 883-0873 While (he loss clearly someone that didn't (519) of is papers Advertising: (519) 884-1970 ext. 3560 want the rest of the papers to www.wlusp.com

e-mail: [email protected] 4 News Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

FIRE DEPT RESPONSE NON REPORTABLE MOTOR

This time 6:42 OCT 22/04 VEHICLE COLLISION pm FRI OCT 24/04 Waterloo Fire Dept responded to 3:00 am SUN

Officers a minor an alarm at Waterloo College investigated vehicle collision in lot 3. There in Laurier Hall. The alarm came from a

Bag O' smoke detector the fifth floor were no injuries.

CRIME hallway. No sign of smoke or 1:55 pm FRI OCT 22/04 fire could be found. CAUSE DISTURBANCE history MISCHIEF Officers responded to the 01:20 am SUN OCT 24/04

FRI OCT 15/04 - MON OCT Terrace after receiving a report THEFT UNDER $5000 A WLU student was involved in 18/04 of a female student faint. feeling minor altercation at the Turret. SECOND CUP GONE FRI OCT 22/04 - SAT OCT a unknown Person(s) wrote inap- She declined an offer of assis- October 29, 1992 23/04 The matter will be sent to the graffiti in the womens' tance to Health Services. She propriate Council. Wilfrid Laurier University A WLU student reported that Judicial Affairs washroom on the third floor of appeared to be feeling better by administration announced that person(s) unknown siphoned gas the Arts C Wing. the time officers left. from at our "relationship" with Second his vehicle parked

Cup, that is much the same as Conestogo House. STOLEN PROPERTY THEFT UNDER $5000 our current relationship with RECOVERED FRI OCT 15/04 - FRI OCT Tim Horton's, would be ending MISCHIEF 08:06 am TUE OCT 19/04 22/04 at the end of the term. Despite FRI OCT 22/04 - SAT OCT Security recovered some WLU Person(s) unknown stole a bike the operation's popularity 23/04 chairs at an off campus address. unknown discharged a among students and faculty Person(s) Investigation continues. CRIME OF THE WEEK: members, WLU administration fire extinguisher on the ground HOW DID THEY DO THAT? made their decision based on floor of the Schlegel Centre. TRESPASS "financial disappointment" with THU OCT 21/04 10:21 am THEFT UNDER $5000 With the MISCHIEF the arrangement. depar- A non WLU male was evicted 5:30-8:00 pm THU OCT 21 ture of Second Cup, Laurier 03:40 am SUN OCT 24/04 from and issued a writ- campus Courses Food Services became the only Person(s) unknown broke a win- ESL Teacher Training ten trespass notice when he A WLU student reported dow in the door of ■ facility to serve food and bever- rear Intensive 60-Hour Program refused leave the Athletic to that someone had stolen the MacDonald House. ■ Classroom ages on campus. Management Techniques Complex after being asked to do credit cards from her wallet ■ Detailed Lesson Planning so staff. at IS NEW by the Grad Pub. 202 REGINA MISCHIEF ■ Comprehensive Teaching Materials

October 22, 1990 SAT OCT 23/04 - SUN OCT ■ Internationally Recognized Certificate THEFT UNDER $5000 Former President of WLU, Dr. 24/04 ■ Job Guarantee Included

OCT 20/04 - OCT 21/04 from at of the red ribbon the bike rack the rear John Weir, cut to Person(s) unknown broke the ■ Thousands of Satisfied Students 202 Student Publications staff report- Waterloo College Hall. officially open Regina glass in one of the doors leading Oxford Seminars ed that unknown stole build- person(s) Street. The newly opened from the Nichols Centre to the 1-800-269-6719 / 416-924-3240 18 bundles of newspapers from SUSPICIOUS PERSON ing cost the university $1.6 mil- Concourse. the Student Publications office 4:15 pm FRI OCT 22/04 lion to purchase and a further area. A non WLU male was evicted $750,000 to renovate. The off- from the Athletic after location held Complex campus originally [ONE! Waterloo FIRE DEPT RESPONSE received that he the Cultural Affairs Co-ordina- a report was was 01:40 FRI OCT WLU am 22/04 following an non female. tor, the Stock Market Waterloo Fire Dept responded to The matter was reported to Competition, the Centre for 1 TAXI an alarm at Willison Hall. The Police. Social Welfare Studies, REMAT, Regional

cause of the alarm was deter- a laser optics lab, most of the mined to be MISCHIEF and the someone cooking Archaeology program

in a second floor FRI OCT 22/04 - SAT OCT Women's Centre. popcorn lounge. 23/04 nBBHnHMMHfIHhHHSHHiI

Person(s) unknown broke a win- for Compiled by Amy Rogers Anywhere, Anytime people or parcels MEDICAL ASSIST dow at Willison Hall. Airport services

Fast & Courteous Services

Smoking Policy under review

University considers replacing 10-metre rule with total ban

which the Board of Governors Laurier's current Smoking Policy, was approved by in July 2002, supports

the university's commitment to provide a safe and healthy environment for students, faculty and staff by

in It also bans within 10 of prohibiting smoking any university building. smoking metres any building

that address the of (except the Carnegie building in Brantford), a measure was developed to problem

smoke being drawn inside through windows and doors, and promotes compliance with provincial and municipal regulations. : J|| jg|

There associated with adherence such and the m are challenges maintaining to a policy, university

" the efforts made members of the over the 4 acknowledges by many university community past

with the revised The further that two years to comply regulations. university acknowledges some

' and staff be of the 10-metre the that is students, faculty may unaware rule, despite signage posted gs >%

at building entrances.

and safe and because within Providing a healthy environment remains a primary concern, smoking

10 of continues to be an a review of the current J iI metres many university buildings issue, Smoking

Policy is underway.

rule the will consider total ban If lack of compliance with the 10-metre continues, university a on

referendum would be in before smoking on all university property. A conducted, likely early 2005,

such is to the Board of Governors for any policy change brought discussion/approval.

feedback the and revisions. The university invites your concerning existing policy possible

Written comments should be forwarded to Marilyn Jacobs, University Secretary, at [email protected]

be obtained by November 30, 2004. Information about smoking cessation programs/resources can from Health Services (for students) and Human Resources (for faculty and staff).

■ *3-

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CANADA

Don't come and shout at us because:

- YOU HAVEN'T HAD YOUR GRAD PHOTO'S TAKEN.

- YOUR ARE NOT WITH YOUR FRIENDS ON THE CLASS COMPOSITE.

- YOU ARE NOT IN THE YEARBOOK (THAT YOU WILL RECEIVE FREE IF YOU

HAVE YOUR GRAD PHOTO'S TAKEN AT SCHOOL WITH LIFETOUCH).

The photo shoot in January is reserved ONLY for co-op students so

DON'T WAIT UNTIL THEN.

TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO SIGN UP NOW TO AVOID ANY DISAPPOINTMENTS! 6 Editorial Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

Thetii' thathinds since 1926 The Cord Weekly

Editorial Board

Editor-in-Chief Opinion Editor Features Editor

Caitlin Howlett Bryn Boyce Michelle Pinchev

Production Manager International Editor Student Life Editor

Brandon Currie Kris Cote Jennifer Asselin

News Editors Entertainment Editor Arts Editor

April Cunningham Carly Beath Stefan J. Sereda

Fraser King Sports Editor Special Projects Editor

Bryan Shinn Colin Duffett

Staff Contributors

Production Assistants Ananthan Sundaresan Blair Forsyth-Stark I.eo Yu Pam Oliver Miranda Mac Donald Don Morgenson Adrian M 3 Ruben Gu-Konu Andrew Bolter Christie Wilhelm Sarah Sarah Schroer Topple YusufFaqiri Brian Camozzi Amy Mallett JanetLinseman Andrew Craig Brad Skelton Christine Suize Sydney Helland Pete Cram Kate Hillyar Dan Roth Brendan Jones Sarah Graves Laurie Vandenhoff Rames Paramsothy Heather Sweeney Lisa Elder Kathleen Gadd Copy Manager. Amy Rogers Editing Krista Shackleford Tony Ferguson Mark Hopkins Copy Editors Kevin Field Brittany Lavery Kyle Boulden Mike Brown Tyler Williams Richard Togman Dan Polischuk Jessica Roy Brenda Heatly

Danyelle Erwin Heather Olavson Quote Of The Week Regan Walsh Jeremy Woodcock "Guys... I know other things besides sports and I'd like to Stefanie Bus2ynski hare them with sometime..." you

Jillian Pancott - Sports Editor Bryan Shinn, with one eyeon the Sox' game

Photo Mangers Erika Ivanic

Erin Moore

Ad Production Manager. Jacquelyn Cain Next Issue: November 3rd IT Manager. Greg Smith

WLU's slash-and-burn

There's an unfortu- nate trend emerging at Laurier, and this one's even worse than Ugg boots.

The cancellation of

the Fine Arts program at Laurier is only the latest

move in a string of cuts.to courses. Two years ago, Are the remaining Fine Arts stu- two English courses, Writing for be dents going to "cheated," as the Media and Technical Writing, Fine Arts T.A. Imran Awan put it? their were cancelled despite pop- Even more unsettling is the ularity with students. In fact, one School's diminishing interest in justification for the cuts given at Arts programs. There is a lack of that the time was too many stu- the media on the emphasis being placed take the dents wanted to courses, Engage campus "hands-on" Arts courses at turned and were being many Laurier that are an integral part of the demand would away. Meeting a balanced education. As student Jennifer Asselin the have been too expensive, so and Tracy Fisher says, "You want to Stealing papers threatening Makes courses were dropped. and leam express yourself new

- rid of the sense courses down low get peo- don't to shut the is techniques, you just want to paper ple want the most. study the masters. That is only Student Life Editor - The Cord was still under the ate outlets there were still Last year it was one aspect." Creativity and artis- rumours Communication Studies courses Students' Union, WLUSU's of petitions floating tic proficiency are no less impor- the block and the Board of Directors chose to shut around for the of on chopping "Our student is a resignation tant than being able to rattle off newspaper cuts were even this time down Student Publications by Editor-in-Chief Wilbur McLean, deeper farce," replied angry rugby play- names and dates or solve a busi- the locks to the office and The Women's Centre files a around. Four studio courses were er Josh Bohen as he tossed last changing ness problem. It takes all kinds of due to - After four weeks the was formal about the sexu- cancelled budget weeks Cord toward me and paper complaint make the world people to go restraints. These back in business al content of advertisements as courses were walked without allowing 'round, and Laurier administra- away 2000 well also and a as this very popular, big part me to respond. story. tion would do well to keep this in Mailer - Frosh - McLean of the draw of Laurier's I stood in disbelief, "Did that sent to incoming Controversy aside, mind when planning its course Studies students is withheld WLU remained EIC and The Women's Communication program. just happen?" by offerings. entire administration because of content Centre's were dealt Now it's an Bohen was with the complaints program Laurier is in the midst of upset canned. No related issues with. that's been new stu- cover article entitled "Student implementing the Century Plan,

into - Editor-in-Chief Asad Kiyani These instances reflect stu- dents will be accepted the assaulted on Hazel Street" where which The Cord reported last Arts wrote an editorial how dents or administrations Fine program, but students The Cord stated that the man who discussing attempts week is "an effort to sustain the he sick of currently enrolled in the turned himself in for the assault was Laurier and stu- to "silence the press." Whether it program school's of and areas strength, to dent be small instances of and will be able to finish their on another student was in fact a apathy ranting improve wherever possible." We

- First students degrees. It's the least the member of the Laurier Men's year are never raving or someone locking up have to wonder if cancelling a into the Laurier does it can do, but it begs the team. given glimpse papers, my question is, University and Varsity Rugby more and more courses pro- of how much the admin- "That's bad for the culture through the eyes of its on- make sense to completely "shut question the best press team," grams is really way to about down the because istration is going to care a stated Bohen. "You know what I campus paper press" a single achieve this. which is its out. article upset program on way mean?" I knew exactly what he you? If meant and I could understand it is, I've got a few ideas Does it make sense he from and I that have more of an affect where was coming might to completely told him this but I on how this media outlet does its The Globe and Mail, as went to 'silence the press' You explain The Cord's point of view job. might not always like

and because a what we and we can't why we attach titles to those single print please MacLean's and Rae students who have in fact earned article upset you? everyone, but The Cord is all this It's like them, he continued to gripe. campus has. not we just

few later this Just a days approxi- slap thing together every since it tracks down This time of always bring a employers year 2002 week. Hours hours of work mately 1,000 copies of the paper upon of excitement for and to broader flurry prospec- grads get input. - WLUSP locks the entire each went 'missing' from the base- up go into issue. We try to tive students and their as But both parents regardless, survey's of the 11 ment of MacHouse. shipment September respect the students' integrity in their amount journalists begin assess- place a disproportionate issue for 6 hours Conveniently nobody knows approximately hopes that they will respect ours, ments of the of emphasis on university image. university system. due in to the website link and another where they went. Now this is just part until campus paper the MacLean's Which into the Most notably, plays perfectly www.clublaurier.ca but I being makes its known in pure speculation on my part presence due in PR rankings, out November hands of many University changed to order to us in line, there are think it's fairly ironic that it was keep which 'turn shit in and the Globe and Mail report branches can www.virtualcrack.com Editor- by can vent this paper that someone decided many ways you your cards offer students a chance to to solid gold.' in-Chief Maneesh Sehdev well - as concerns without to steal a thousand copies of go inflicting statistics about The real that the universi- at interesting test ad gaze figure. as proposed problems papercuts to unexpecting editors. their or future schools and will face and all the present ty system - Issue released It's hard to police the media was eventually Write a letter, come down to most of all, administrators a stakeholders should some give place - Sehdev fired for when you're the only outlet avail- eventually a the office or come to a general stoke the PR furnace. behind is the Rae Review chance to weight number of issues able to students, but reaming out meeting, don't start petitions or Globe education. The reality is that the on post secondary 2003 section editor and act in haste The a taking a by taking away and Mail's is near useless While it won't break it likely - survey "The escapades" article is Cord from its readers. Instead of plethora of papers doesn't seem gay since it is a of stu- down school by school, the compilation to allow students to muzzle the and like the logical answer. printed gain trying to press their situation will be made dent perspectives on broader the club cul- Other policing issues have perspective on gay what it prints, try changing it Most clearer for all of Ontario. Bob school's performance. stu- ture occurred throughout recent Cord through engagement and con- head- dents have little to com- Rae, Laurier Chancellor, is ability - The article referred history: was to as structive criticism. It's what is their to those of the review and looking pare experiences ing up and we're here Cord 1991 "appalling" "outrageous" by for. The is your If voice a Guelph or Queen's student for input. you want to readers. - Article from The Muse, titled "A paper after all. because out- voice it they've never seen your meaningful opinion, - anal sex" Although complaints were gay man's guide to pub- MacLean 'v. side the walls of Laurier. to him not a glossy lished offending readers processed through the appropri-

MacLean's is a little better Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Opinion 7

Campus Clubs, a cheap ad vehicle

minute video advertising Salon Heather Sweeney Chic-gag! And if the Salon Chic Getting around studying t-shirts that the organizers wore

were not an invasive and constant

reminder of the day's benefac- Krista Shackleford Neither Funk Nor Wagnalls' The pitfalls of life as a student: A tors, the presidents were remind-

ed their visit on way to lunch, to self-styled psychoanalytical the salon. I asked Mike what try not to use my bi-weekly was Unshackled I column on the for the afternoon. as personal podi- agenda discourse 'not stuff' my on doing for what's He assumes did team build- um complaints, but, they

hair but he didn't stick around to with Campus Clubs pimpin' ing entirely? would have kicked exam ass if I was going to be productive this find out. salons at a mandatory Campus Possibility #2: I'm in love. only I had studied. I'm smart, I'm weekend: Wake Eat. Study How up. Clubs Presidents' that can Campus Clubs avoid As much fun in love meeting as falling just not realizing my potential!" statistics. Eat more. Study more lasted five hours? more from it has I tend indignant departures is, given me the attention to snuggle into the statistics. Congratulate myself for at the their of Technically, beginning mandatory meetings? span an aphid. I think IQ comfortable bosom of "not real- much my learning so about statistics. of the I was the of do not has year president Perhaps people appreciate dropped about 50 points over izing my potential." I'd hate to Go to bed. club but refused sold the Students' Union the last a campus to go being by month. The intelligent put out a good effort only to dis- has Anyone who ever planned five-hour the to at events where to a meeting run by corporations thoughts that once coursed cover that I'm not smart. It like this very a "work day" can guess, Union. Somewhere inside I the sponsor's becomes deep message through my head have been seems easier not to try, and there- I did not study statistics. I ate knew that such the event itself. The clubs that just a generous we replaced by vapidities: "I wonder fore not be disappointed in pretzels, cut my toenails, watched time allotment have at this school was a gross over- are totally what he's thinking about right myself. Family Guy, and did stupid estimation of the time it would I would not have of colour is amazing; any now," or "I wonder what This not a healthy to the Internet. I way quizzes on may not take to the their the wonderful friends I have now of socks give presidents he's wearing right now," go through university. I've been have memorized Crombach's if it information and weren't for clubs. and"I wonder what is his insecurities this pertinent per- campus facing my year: Alpha formula, but at least I fun Last I devoted haps play a ice-breaking year myself to favourite flavour of ice cream," completing assignments, study- learned what flavour of Tic Tac I with their fellow club lead- the English Club with school It's hard for game to study psychological ing exams and handing in am. and ers. spirit But in this methods passion. par- testing when you're essays just like else. I everyone see diligent students on cam- ticular instance, the words When asked how the day 'con- thinking about boyfriend's But it's hard to 'try' after slacking I your pus and envy them to terribly. went, President Mike Morris of flict of interest' come mind. As socks. for off royally so many years. They sit in the library, fancy the Environment Club Chris Rock would "That People's say: Hence my procrastination this highlighters organized neatly in commented that he was some- ain't right!" weekend - habits are not easily front of them. They earnest- If I had that pore is never as what annoyed that "everybody kind of money, I Studying broken. ly over textbooks with painfully and his [expletive] cousin" want- would have a commercial of bad as think it my you Maybe your problems with dry titles: "Fundamental and it ed to make a speech, thanking own, would reflect val- my will be and procrastination aren't as severe as Pinciples of Qualitative and view their chums in the bureaucracy ues my of the world. mine, but I'd like to tell you the Analysis" and "Advanced procrastinating is for their But there few contributions to the alas, are only a that's thought helped me: pro- Statistical Inference." Clearly I'm never as much fun as event. major corporations that can crastination is much more stress- not the only person suffering think it will be. "But Mike," "I am afford to their I said, impose ideology you ful than doing work. Studying is So through a dry course. why is unable to what was on the rest of us suckers. Are we, comprehend never as bad as you think it will that that they can concentrate on so to warrant a five- therefore, doomed to be As important subject compelling as these two be. Procrastinating is never as boring material and I can't? hour their meeting". to insipid, tyrannical mes- in front much fun possibilities are, they pale as you think it will be! During my weekend of pro- and never "Nothing" he replied, "not a participate in the of a more sage third, likely possibility. I've spent the whole weekend crastination, I came with these [expletive] dialogue? up thing." Possibility #3: I'm a chick- worrying about not accomplish- possibilities: Each of do I the was Only now presidents regret skipping en shit. ing anything. Even doing #7: Possibility I'm a spoiled the Clubs given a package explaining how Campus meeting so Here is the problem with mediocre work makes feel brat. you to fill out their budgets. The rest that I could show them that I If studying: you study and do better than not doing anything at I am lot of financial of getting a the four and a half hours he would not have sat there politely all. poorly anyway, there is no one to from Does this had help my parents. trouble putting into words simmering with resentment, I blame but This is yourself. why Which is why I'm going to go mean that I lack the incentive to because it would have told the I was a complete waste Union, as off is If for slacking so appealing. study my psychological test- do well? Would I be more of time. them am telling that I am don't around now, you get to studying ing exam. Or I wi11... as soon as I inclined to bond with text- The day began for sale! my with a two- not and therefore finish this of flunk, you can watching episode books if I had paid for them rationalize the outcome. "Hey, I Family Guy.

Letters to the Editor [email protected]

A taken the time crescendo of you to ask we in that vicious the rage anyone, plain wrong many respects. wolves are somehow by Harvey's management,I would can much that 85 The idea that pretty guarantee Pit Bulls are inher- predators just waiting for a taste of like to thank them for their environ- of Dear Editor, percent the people would ently animals and therefore present dangerous human flesh is a hysterical notion mentally-aware initiative; if this is the have been able to tell that her should not be the you haunting streets, belonging in the Dark Ages when employees' individual effort, I would We is Duvall. are in to Stefan name Cheryl fields and rooms of Ontario writing response family is packs of them were slaughtered like to thank those who have chosen Sereda's arts review The debacle of the whole discussing last biggest akin to the racial stereo- because of their threat to to reduce groundless perceived waste on campus and I WLU situation is the fact that Sunday's Orchestra you even had that declared that Africans would Symphony typing humanity. encourage the Harvey's man- the concert. indecency to leave after intermis- best off slaves In entire were as or are predis- my life in this country, agement to adopt this practice. As sion. We understand two senior music students at were to crime. the wolf I had the fortune you hungry, posed only good At Laurier, we need to be more but Laurier, we were don't realize in Reason is pretty disgusted maybe you that, no factor in this to see was from me aware of the clearly running away as waste we produce. with orchestral the most your inability to write any sort of concerts, impor- decision; it is a reac- fast it could Muzzled Tim Horton's purely ignorant as possibly go. Hundreds of cups are successful tant the review. We, as well as piece usually consumes sec- tion to sensationalist media To wolves leashes in hype. on public parks thrown out each day and many of ond And other member of our half. missed it. So every faculty, you why begin, has the decision to intro- a the why would not pose threat to public, them are simply wasted as a result of did understand the even review it all? clearly words staccato, you at Spewing duce Pit Bulls for would and As concerned legislation banning they likely die of fear double-cupping. a stu- and the the concerto, allegro so on. However, movement names into article been made without consultation with shock. They are not a danger to us at dent, I would like to see both we assume that the of the just took useless majority up space. the Toronto Humane Society or the all and, in fact, instinctively fear WLUSU and Laurier Food Services student does body not understand. Do Stefan, please understand that we Ontario Medical humans. do because take Veterinary Perhaps they so aproactive stance with regards to you even understand? want reviews that give a successful Association or the Staffordshire Bull know the of their they of ignorance waste on campus. of We Basically, we are trying to depiction our faculty. want Terrier Club of Canada? Could these cousins of say peo- two-legged and the heart- First, I would like to see Tim that if you want to discuss the to read and understand the be concert, ple article, not considered an less that humans organizations cruelty have routine- Horton's on campus adopt a practice use words that that and then the you feel, not want to come to next authority on such affairs? inflicted you ly upon their domesticated of only double-cupping orders of read in the concert. We feel as It sounded as though this con- To continue, are program. you unaware, Sir, brothers. black tea and coffee; most other though you were cert review didn't do that. that the of just regurgitating majority dog attacks on I and I to the orders do need beg you, appeal not two cups (for information As members of the WLU Jazz straight from the humans in Canada each do not of the citizens pro- year humanity of Ontario, to example, all steeped teas, despite Choir and WLU Wind gram. Ensemble, we involve Pit Bulls at all, and instead humane become informed, to be and being the same temperature as coffee, After with sit in (almost) silent speaking two of the fear, waiting for Huskies are for 47% of responsible reject this preposterous solution to a are double-cupped). Second, I think three concerto next review. the performers, let us your Please us attacks? Do recall they give you the time, not problem that is indicative of the that all coffee establishments on cam- know that credit they felt as we deserve. though too long that Rottweilers were of you ago, looming spectre wanton cruelty to pus should have cardboard sleeves for gave of considered inadequate representations inherently ani- animals. coffee in eliminate dangerous cups order to the their Kit and Laurie performance. Mentioning Emery Sadowski mals and that the media also called for need to double-cup altogether. raised eyebrows" and the breed moving a ban or Are regulation? you Benjamin A. Jewiss These suggestions are only a few torso seemed almost that silly, they sug- aware the most recent attack in which Laurier could ways by improve gested that maybe say that A rolled to the hometown of Huntsville you they newspaper my was not Cut the its waste management but I think they moved crap instead. musically, committed by a Pit Bull, but instead Attorney General's nose would be invaluable in setting a good Let the readers know how a Golden they by Retriever? for the in I would like to express my gratitude example community gener- played, not what looked like. they Finally, I must condemn al. To the Honourable Michael J. Bryant, your to those Harvey's employees in the Thinking about eyebrows no uninformed gives Generalof ridiculously metaphor as Terrace who have real Attorney Ontario, started to ask cus- representation of the sound of the it in the Toronto Star appeared whether tomers or not need a Sincerely, oboe or flute. they bag ofnOctober 21 that "We don't Sir, I must inform noted, for their It you that your cur- food. In years past, employ- was also quite of to sloppy you permit muzzled wolves on leashes in Radcliffe rent position Pit Bulls is would often in Craig not make regarding ees put everything a sort of effort find any to the public Because naive and parks. Why? they're ifit uneducated, as well as just bag, even was just a hamburger. name of "the unnamed pianist." Had too The just dangerous." implication - Please see Letters, 9 If this is a new policy put in place page 8 ￿Opinion October Wednesday 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

THE GREATEST CANADIAN

John A. makes the list Don Cherry is Canada but no top ten for Wilf

in the United States but liked to the Canada, being only person on in terms Brendan Jones Yusuf Faqiri Canada the map of his weekends here. This is left who what spend can actually say art, singing legend Celine Dion

how low we've in search are without the stooped they thinking and great universal suffragettes of the "Greatest." this moral By meas- police performing a like Nellie McClung. who advo-

ure, Arnold raid on their home. Extra-Value Spiel Schwarzenegger Fallujah-style Rabid Federalist! cated voting rights for women in

could have made the list since he More to importantly, failing Canada. Doesn't a single one of

owns a somewhere in as cottage crown Cherry the Greatest Canada's women even deserve a

seems to have What does it take for individ- society Ontario. Canadian allows the CBC to dis- an Every nomination to the top ten? someone that love to to they Now armed with a list of the of him. ual be known as the greatest creetly dispose They have 1 do not have an answer to the kick around from time to time: Canadian? In four 10 Canadians, we not renewed his contract and he about weeks, lack of the top greatest women being on list, has the USA Canada will decide that. Germany France, must select the Canadian was absent from exactly greatest noticeably but 1 certainly believe t has Russia has a Last Castro, plethora the facc of week the list was broken to ever grace the earth, World Cup coverage, and it of small Eastern coun- it huddled would be victo- down to the ten finalists which Europeans or at least the part of certainly a moral tries, England has the Royal within include Prime Minister 100km of the US border. I ry for the political correctness founding

Family, and we have the CBC. think the choice is clear. John A. Macdonald, We must mongers omnipresent in the hockey great

The others do not seem to vote for Don in droves. Canadian media. Wayne Gretzky and Frederick Cherry a testament to this.

understand the obligation they that To be Banting who discovered insulin. It's not there aren't any frank, voting for Cherry Another interesting tidbit thai have to their tormentor, with It is that per- other worthy candidates on the in this instance will awfully surprising 1 found the annoy every- among top ten was of French haps the exception the Royal but those that need worth only one Canadian made list, are hardly one annoying. that more than half of the finalists the Family and Castro. The CBC, this acclaim. Sir John A. Don be the top ten list. And even more glorified Cherry may not were Ontario natives.

however, clearly knows that we, McDonald $10 that the great already has the greatest Canadian ever. But he surprising So Laurier. what are your as Canadians, need it to act like Prime Minister Sir bill on lock, Lester B. Pearson did work his to the of our Francophone Is it way top greatest Canadian criteria? the kid that licks the in Wilfrid who did flagpole has our named most sacred national tradition and Laurier, a largest airport great ;.c t buh done

the middle of January. Striding deal in Canada's auton- after him, plus countless public recently built, in the name of attaining beyond his/her capabilities (hint, forth, the CBC us schools this and from Great finished boldly presents across great land, recently deceased wife, a hospice omy Britain, with its latest attempt at the is called in Milton for children with termi- 43rd and was narrowly edged out Wayne Gretzky already one who has put Canada on the broadcast of Avril equivalent getting the "Great One." Really all that nal cancer without a cent of by Lavigne... using map in a certain field (hint, hint drunk the extremely at family will for Laurier seems to be a bit of a we accomplish by voting taxpayer money. Sure, he has said "Frederick Banting")? What barbecue and wandering around the Fox candidates is that don't forgotten hero in this country. He Terry type some things exactly about someone who saved

with a in ear like a is the one who solidified hotdog your ourselves a collective the give exemplify stereotypical Canada from a national disaster CBC's The Greatest Canadian unity and planted the cigarette: Canadian pat on the back. Canadian prudence, but then (hint, hint "Pierre Trudeau)? Can

Canadian. seeds of what was to one of Hooray we discovered so did Pierre Trudeau and going again being the greatest hockey player The contest off with started to Tim Horton's he was of the the world's largest navies during insulin, quickly apparently worthy in the world be a valid criterion 140,000 nominations including World War 11. for glazed donuts and triple-triple top ten. (hint, hint "The Great One")?

such Canucks as Jim there great coffees! has said if he wins the Unfortunately were no How about Cherry forming Canada as a Carrey, a man best known for for Don will dedicate it entertainers that made the top ten. Voting Cherry contest, he to all nation (Sir John A. Macdonald)? with his Rene Music diva Shania could speaking ass, something the in Twain accomplishes quite hardworking people Judging by the list, most Levesque, the man who loved different. With 'foul Canada in have made a in one swoop' because, his opinion, strong argument that must Canadians feel you Canada so much he wanted the list. She has dominat- we can stick our collective thumb are the real Greatest making they make a national and a universal the music for the Quebec to have nothing to do in the of the Canadians. Vote ed scene eye CBC, Cherry Cherry early. past contribution to be considered one Pamela known with it, Anderson, their bills while the network Vote often. decade with all her becom- pays Cherry songs, of the greatest Canadians. for her humble "vacation" video a Canadian icon. to fire him. In this sense ing What about yearns My choice for the greatest and silicon flotation devices, the comedian John Don Cherry represents the last great legend Canadian Sir John goes to A. the somewhat William Shatner, A shout also to the vestige of free speech left in Candy? can go Macdonald. I after after mean, senile, perennial Captain Kirk, great native chief Tecumseh who all, he did initiate Confederation. Louis who raised Riel, an army saved Canada from being invad- If it were not for Macdonald then against Canada not once but ed by the United States in the War Canada would most likely have twice and, of just about of 1812. course, been swallowed up by the United Canadian to play more than One of the most every surprising States. in the NHL. I list one season things that found in the was Could it be possible that the As you may have guessed, the that there was not one female that greatest Canadian is a friendly entrance weren't made it to the ten. Now requirements top why drunk that can be that managed to exactly stringent. Alexander would that be? I strong mean, bring two peoples together, form- Graham Bell made it the 10 to top can be made for some arguments ing 'Canada: The Country?' and he wasn't even Canadian. female Canadians including the he Actually, was a Scot who lived likes of Emily Carr, who put

An exhaustive ethnographic typology of students

down beat their of the student mind and chime in with - about class Bryn Boyce throws a on note- depths comments not and, as a result, cause

when lecture - that do little else than books while sitting loosely in the leaps out a subject questions absolutely zero problems. Except while rubs student in the I back row. These students, a just right affirm their attendance that night. to themselves. think. Like I said,

not A to aim to to necessarily academically way. topic hits close home Perhaps they demonstrate, never seen them. Kudos you, Opinion Editor challenged, certainly can't handle and then bam, the floodgates of week after week, that they could friends, for boosting the teacher- the physical rigours of sitting still anecdotal, once-upon-a-time have been schoolyard chums with to-student ratio. the The for 50-minutes at a stretch. These style stories are open. Everyone profs. Spiteful Watcher. The The Bobble Heads. These stu- their sister's The Idiot-Savant. The most mortal students are particularly difficult and boyfriend's enemy of the Friendly dents seem to be the secular off- handle when in the uncle chimes in with that Elder, Obvious to they appear a spin universally despised amongst Captain and The spring of the religious "Quakers" feel will better the class' their this student's this student lurks in corner of your eye. they peers, top Idiot-Savant, that inhabited early colonial Obvious. certain characteristic is — the classroom and Captain This well grasp of the same concept. speaking takes many America. They're rare in meaning, although inattentive, Telling the entire class about the loudly and often. A favourite of shapes. They're most often the Southwestern Ontario, but they student to time turtle the discussion-starved students pops attention and your pet struggled prof yet shoot-from-the-hip that exist. Easily identified by their rock and then the bane of fellow students their who blurs out what they feel to be an atop the sunning (who cut up peers choose to near-convulsive behaviour, in As it into would much lecture from take active interest in their epiphany. turns out, Captain launching a post-Marxist prefer a an which they nod their heads in Obvious has just rhymed off analysis of the moment will not the professor they paid for than education. They're cynics and the whole-hearted agreement with the snobs that some, or maybe all, of major improve anyone's day. an ignorant eager beaver). gaze coldly around the their word. professors' every from Good classroom points in that class's assigned Friendly Elder. Also known Remember that scene challenging someone ' Judging by this student, every- Will where Will slices readings. Even more embarrass- as the 'greybeards' or the 'night- Hunting to say something stupid. Some thing the prof carries the says self-evident and breeds will break ing, they re-hashed a class pundits.' These middle-aged up an arrogant history major even character of Aristotle's and weight hands him and the and fact, like "clubbing baby seals is students begin the term with def- his own ass on a plat- pounce on innocent Socrates' combined wisdom for after ter? All show how student let a major sticking point erence and timidity but, a to regurgitat- well-meaning that in fact, the material when, being in Greenpeace," or the worst: concerted effort to establish a ing the thoughts of others is no something slip or even attempt to covered is schtick entry-level demolish the Idiot-Savants "racism is just plain ignorant." peer-to-peer relationship with the way a sign of genius or superior- when should have read in high they run-of-the-mill live to their One-Time-At-Band-Camp. professor, they're soon brimming ity, just memo- they up name... school. With rization. This breed is particularly insidi- with confidence. their new- The ADHD Case. The fidg- More often than these found these The Phantom. to ous. not, 'authority,' Friendly Nothing ety, I'd-rather-be-biking student the of here. stu- With Smith characteristics are latent in most Elders soon become centre say Straight up, these files from Greg that, instead of taking notes, students. It lies dormant in the the class' peanut gallery and dents just don't give a damn Opinion l Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly 9

United with universities Not all feminists

Caitlin Howlett Cord joins Canadian their bras University BBQ Press; finally bringing students and Editor-in-Chief campuses together Blair Forsyth-Stark Radical to localize and that present a story empty pages during a slow news interests readers feminism is only My CUP runneth over. our and address- week, it's about filling pages with issues students The Cord Weekly is the es affecting content that matters to students -

member of CUP nationwide. When students that readers. Stark Raving one stream newest are matters to our

- the toward a common This week read about (Canadian University Press) working goal you can national student of time someone stands up for oldest organiza- insuring post-secondary edu- Mount Allison University and the T all for mean, I'm equal cation remains women and their rights, it's an act tion in North America and the affordable in steps they're taking to try and for and a11... rights women feminism. student Eastern we'll be able of only press cooperative in Canada, to implement online voting for stu- but I'm not a feminist" said You think that don't North America. Our CUP show readers how Laurier dent may you mem- our elections [please see Page 3 Like countless North Emily. have label feminist won't excite students are the of to yourself a bership necessarily tackling very News]. In the November 3 edi- Americans, seems to be Emily because been all readers but faith- same issue. And if the you've never just yet, our finally, tion, The Cord, will follow up by under the misguided impression affected sexism the ful tuners football team wins by or seen page every Wednesday Vanier, our examining this very same issue at that 'feminism' represents some- of women violated. afternoon and those who affiliates around the will Laurier and WLUSU and rights manage country see how thing inherently radical, some- Whether it was a sexist joke, a to get a copy later in the week be able to show their readers just WLUSP will work toward that is taboo. thing socially that what looks like and teacher asking for 'big, strong should be aware this campus Hawk fever improving voter turn-out on a rel- Feminism is simply the advo- to or broadened its how fast it inactive In the boys' help carry something, rag just coverage. spreads. atively campus. of women's Whether cacy rights. the difference in hair I wanted even price something The Cord same vein, you will learn this male if you are or female, you cuts for women compared to could use to benefit our readers. I week how VP of University believe that deserve the The Cord has women have faced wanted that Weekly men, you undoubtedly something put our Affairs, Anthony Piscitelli is the same opportunities as men, the Canadian some form of gender discrimina- readers and volunteers first. I joined working with City Council to same rate of and the same pay tion. wanted to reach coverage a larger University Press to improve the ward system so stu- femi- political powers, you are a but audience still maintain a local broaden the student dent voters are better represented. nist. feel. As the population We want to make the most of "Portrayed as man- campus and is not to blame for her perspective Emily continues there is to grow, a CUP and thus we want to know hesitance to herself a hating, bra-burning, connect with other proclaim what readers think about responsibility to accommodate our cov- feminist. Like other prob- many hairy-underarmed,. the needs of universities. our readers and erage from around the country on lems in the media is our society, feminists are audience. rarely changing CUP is just a student scale. Let us know your for the predominantly responsible we're Some of CUP's shown to be seeking one way working to give members thoughts on campus-to-campus negative attributes associated readers something they not include: The Argosy from Mount of sexes. may coverage by simply emailing with feminists and feminism. equality the have realized been Allison who read about Do even they've you'll [email protected]. you care as bra Portrayed man-hating, this week, The from the missing. Gateway about campus life at other univer- burning, hairy-underarmed Some critics of the CUP isn't of feminist just a clever University Alberta, The sities? How does WLUSU com- women, feminists are rarely movement have that that's outra- The McGill argued acronym given me Manitoban, Daily pare to other university students' shown the media individu- by as men's need and of rights protection too, geous ideas for really cheesy course over 60 other stu- unions? What are students doing als attempting to create equality that have beaten - saying women leads CUP provides access to a dent newspapers from universi- to make a difference in their the sexes. Instead, the amongst their husbands that and wire. This ties and communities? or men are news image means colleges throughout respective We can media chooses to focus on the at in the have to Canada. this information fin- now a disadvantage job we access student cover- bring to your extremist acts some individuals of is market because the focus from CUP - on age across the nation. When not just about bringing gertips all you have to do is tell have in order to employed bring these student is in it's about equal rights. Although argu- government question newspapers together, us. their light to causes which would ments aren't completely without in British Columbia, we'll know bringing students together. CUP have otherwise gone unnoticed. aboutit and The Cord will be able is not about merit, they are gross exaggera- filling space on It's because of this representa- tions. Based on reported cases, tend tion that people to assume women are five to eight times being a feminist means to be a vic- more likely than men to be hardcore someone who extremist, timized by an intimate partner insists on spelling it 'womyn' and WWW.CORDWEEKLY.COM and to this day, women aged 25- who 'herstory', or refuses to let 54 make 74.4 cents to dol- every for the wait is almost men do anything her, even if over lar made by men. it's just opening a door. For the Women's rights are violated vast majority of feminists, this is every day the world around. As simply not the case. You can be a North Americans, we are fortu- feminist and still let date your nate to live in Pictorial a relatively pro- Campus can still pay, you sinfully indulge and gressive society yet inequali- in your monthly Cosmo, and you ties still exist. Until we as a soci- still and can dress up wear make- are able to the ety see past nega- feel If up to "girly". you're a male tive portrayal of feminism in the feminist, you are still just as mas- media and proudly fight for culine as of any your power-tool- women's rights, we will not be wielding peers . able to advance the feminist

Feminism takes many forms movement and gender equality including Liberal, Radical and will not improve. Hopefully Existential, but it is certainly not will the Emily get message. restricted to these categories. Any

Letters, from experience. page 7 While I understand that space is

limited there is still on campus, plen- ty of room to hold exams. Last Business exams during year, we saw Laurier's first dedicated business hours examination room open in the Bricker Academic Building. Dean Carson, Classrooms and schedules are almost

completely free every Friday after 3 I m to concerned writing you as a which pm, was originally designed to student. This semester, I, and almost be a dedicated midterm period. every other second business stu- year Furthermore, I think it's unfortunate dent, have had to write several that the School of Business and midterms on weekends. Almost Economics seems to be scheduling had everyone a midterm scheduled these midterms on weekends much two weekends ago. last weekend and more often, while other faculties are this coming weekend. On Saturday, working around the space and time October 16, there SBE were even two limitations. midterms for the second year class. 1 that certainly hope we can work On top of that, this past weekend, a to resolve this issue before next midterm was scheduled on a Sunday, semester. which is considered by many to be a day of rest. Regards, These midterms have prevented

many students from in participating Fraser McCracken social events, home to visit going WLUSU Director lamily and the simply enjoying WLU Senator

stress-reducing rest period that a ESryn Boyce weekend provides. They are having a Ride: Nice effort Bacchus but this isn't the negative effect Pimp My convincing. There's no brain matter on on our university dash, there's no evidence of airbags snapping anyone's neck and certainly this 'improper left

turn' case isn't students' a car. This scene has unlicensed "gramma" written all over it. 10 »Opinion Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

The CNN factor numbs the mind and senses

Don Morgenson

Professor Emeritus

The suffering is inescapable.

Cameras of the world's television

networks, particularly CNN. are sion home in to such brings happenings as "psychic numbing." and what follows is a to understand and as a conse- everywhere, recording every complete distant while simultaneous- lands World-renowned photogra- blank. There is little time to do something, stimuli drop of spilled blood, every tear quence, distances Bourke-White reflect what has be in live of ly creating greater pher Margaret on one seen. need to presented more slowly welling up yes. pictures between us and those about faraway wrote this numb- Reflection makes more and - and not a seri- lifeless bodies on the streets now "psychic concepts thoughtfully The CNN factor peoples. sug- ing'" when assigned to photo- are consolidat- atim filled with rubble - inevitably... meaningful; they visually. that should be moved CNN there! gests we by graph the concentration camp at ed, stored, remembered and felt. The CNN Factor result makes sure you are may such whereas the contin- scenes, Buchenwald at the end of WWII. With the word we in a in our com- What is referred to as the printed too, significant drop ued of such not viewing suffering "People often ask how it is enhance what we read with our and as a result CNN Factor contains hope that possi- passion quotient,

immobilizes us but ble to such atroci- own The visual the world well become to only may photograph imaginations. a with relentless exposure may desensitize I have to work us. ties... with a veil detail leaves little to the more brutal place. images of suffering we will all imagina-

And it is difficult, if over In tion What is perceived the doors of surely my mind. photographing we see, as rise up. bang on gov- not impossible, to withstand an the murder the ernment and insist something be camps protective

unrelieved diet of woe. In earlier veil was drawn that I done about the killing, the tor- so tightly

people received bad news knew what I had taken ture. the illnesses, the famines, days, hardly

now and then; the illness or death until I saw the for the first the bloodshed. prints

of a friend or relative, the time. One has to do this it is Evidence supporting such burning or of it." a neighbor's barn, news of a impossible to stand hope is not encouraging. Though robbery or a natural disaster. A solution to such 40% off TV will bring sufferings of the partial Halloween television Today, cameras desensitization is a revitalization world close to such very home, all that "immedi- bring tragedy and acknowledgement of the - All Halloween does not make those images more — close and The ately. up personal." importance of the printed word. real, more moving, inciting us to **aie Items human nervous system is not Tire word continues to action. In fact, with such a parade printed constructed to withstand such visual difficulties a move us whereas the of and suffering, per- Including Partyware, constant of numbs of is of barrage alarming or paralyzes us. Harvard haps a sense reality one Home Decor and news. political science professor Dr. the first casualties. Can we really Items, Indeed, anxiety aroused Robert Putnam a Novelty Earrings, identify with, be moved by and any suggests strong by watching such a string of negative correlation between tel- Wine Charms, find the impulse to intervene with adversities will and the may mean we evision watching active par- relentless savagery exhibited V Stuffed Animals more and more on a defen- in one's the the rely ticipation community in Middle East, suffering fjf and sive indifference in order to while a in Sudan? cope reporting significant pos- More with the wretchedness vividly itive between news- No. will relationship . . more likely we And In displayed. once such a paper reading and activism. Hurry tune it all out. The late Arthur Just Expressions Card and defense is integrated into our full what is the dynamic Gift Shop Koestler put it rather sharply: King St. N (w it is psychic functioning, our ability power of the printed word? FOP 1 till University "Statistics don't bleed; the law relate Waterloo to to others, to empathize Television us with a detail which counts." Experts, presents others bestifled. series of Chameleon's and Across with one item Quill PnlAAtlABl (Beside such as U of Toronto Prof. may info-nuggets, I Psychiatrist Robert Lifton refers after another order KfBSl UuIuuUOII! from Morty's) Clifford that televi- in rapid-fire Orwin. worry

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The Geomatics Institute is located in Lindsay, Ontario at Fleming College's Frost Campus.

The Geomatics Institute is in the investment in at Fleming funded part by Strategic Skills program, the amount of $1 57-million, from the Ontario Ministry of Economic Development and Trade. International 11 Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

Humanitarian crisis in Uganda neglected

Civil war is simmering in Uganda and Human Rights Watch estimates that 70,000 children have been abducted

TONY FERGUSON ians. Nearly 80 percent of LRA Staff Writer fighters are children.

Children are used by the LRA at morally outraged because they are more vulnera- Althoughthe by the interna- neglect ble, easily manipulated and less tional Jan Egeland, community, likely to resist authority. The the under-secretary general for child soldiers are often drugged, UN humanitarian affairs and and are more obedient than

relief, was heartened emergency adults. Since mid-2002, Human that UN council was a examining Rights Watch estimates that the the of northern region Uganda, LRA has abducted 10,000 chil- where more than 20,000 children dren to serve in the movement. have been kidnapped and forced The Ugandan government has to serve as combatants, labourers also been criticized for its use of and sex slaves in recent years. child soldiers. Drafted into Local Contributed Photo Northern remains the Uganda Defence Units (LDFs), the gov- Child like those soldiers, pictured above, are forced to fight in both rebel and government forces. humanitarian biggest neglected ernment has used the LDFs in in the world, crises there which is northern emergency Egeland conjunction with the Ugandan out not rec- Uganda alone. Among reforms, the government told a 15 member council on Sir called Defence Forces to ognized enough." Emyr on the inter- plans to create forces to help sus- People's stage Uganda and Sudan. Thousands of children leave to tain attacks against the LRA. In the national community support humanitarian efforts and, The of the their crux problem homes in northern Uganda the African Union's efforts more to past year, fighting between the peace importantly, recognize comes from the rebel the group, to sleep in major towns and to set a date for the UN the scale of the Ugandan government and the every problem. Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). where feel safe from Council to meet in remains LRA has caused a further deterio- night, they Security Egeland too, opti- Led by Joseph Kony, the LRA is threat of abducted ration in human rights. the being by Nairobi, Kenya, where it would mistic, informing reporters that allied with the Islamic The govern- The international community the LRA. number of dis- discuss conflicts in Southern and "we hope on the humanitarian of and believes that ment Sudan, is also as Western and side that has found the situation hard to placed persons rising Uganda peace we are now seeing a

Uganda should be ruled by the flee to in the acknowledge. Sir Emyr Jones people avoid upsurges efforts in area. beginning of an end to this 18- ten commandments. The LRA violence perpetuated the LRA. the bleak environ- endless of horrors Parry, British ambassador to the by Despite year litany also has bases in Sudan, and in Thousands of civilians have been UN, described the crisis in ment, Sir Emyr commented that where children are the fighters recent months it has launched killed and more than a million there were and the victims in northern Uganda as "one of the great positive signals com- attacks against Sudanese civil- have been people displaced in ing from Uganda's government. Uganda."

Disengagement splits Israel Report finds corruption

KYLE BOULDEN Staff Writer prevalent in the world

On Sunday, the Israeli cabinet approved the first part of Prime KRIS COTE Algeria for the catastrophic International Editor Minister Ariel Sharon's plan to effects of a 2003 earthquake pull settlers out of the Gaza Strip which left 2,300 dead. Shoddy The organization Transparency and the West Bank, setting the construction and inspection led to International has released its for scene a Tuesday vote in the the wanton destruction of build- annual Global Corruption Report A Knesset legislature. ings. more serious earthquake for 2004, finding that corruption has Meanwhile, the plan cre- struck Japan only days later, but is still rampant in much of the ated because a rift in Sharon's ruling no one was killed of the world, and that oil-producing Likud exacerbated of the party, by com- safety buildings. countries are particularly suscep- ments made by the Speaker of the The report documents the tible to high levels of corruption. Knesset, Reuven Rivlin, last widespread corruption in oil pro- At a press release for the Thursday. ducing countries, and Eigen report, Chairman Peter Eigen Rivlin, who is strongly noted that "public contracting in concluded that the report indi- opposed to the pullout plans, stat- the oil sector is plagued by rev- cates that there is "amazing evi- ed that Sharon "not was loyal to enues vanishing into the pockets dence again that corruption is still the land of Israel," and spoke of of Western oil executives, mid- rampant all over the world." The the possibility of civil war. The dlemen and local officials." The report examines 146 countries former close of is ally Sharon report believes that this situation and ranks their level of corrupt- joined by a of can significant group be reversed, and urges ness on a scale of one to ten, one 'rebels' in the Likud party who Western government to ensure being the most and ten the corrupt are fighting plans. About half that oil companies disclose what being the least. Data was com- of the members of the Likud they pay in fees, royalties and piled by independent institutions, party plan to vote the against other payments. and at least three surveys were withdrawal on Tuesday. conducted on each country in the However, the plans, which are report. Oil producing supported by the majority of the Contributed Photo International Israeli Transparency countries are more public, are expected to be Settlers, the sets its benchmark at a of like girl above, have staged against Sharon ranking to approved by the Knesset regard- protests susceptible while other Israeli's have showed their of the three. countries failed to less many support plan. Sixty of the dissension. Sharon has corruption, achieve at least this and the ranking support of the centre-left not going to be impressed by cab- the approximately 8,000 Israeli are deemed the be Labour by report to inet - Global Party, headed by Shimon or parliamentary votes." settlers in the Gaza strip would be Corruption Report 2004 very corrupt. Haiti, Nigeria and Peres, which should be rabbis well enough to Many prominent have evacuated, as as several hun- Bangladesh round out the bottom gain a slim in the out the and dred majority spoke against plan, settlers from the West Bank. Although Iraq is not featured of the while Finland, New Knesset. report, some have even called on Israeli Families would receive compen- in the report, Jeremy Carver, head Zealand and Denmark are soldiers to disobey orders when sation from Israeli the govern- of international law at the London deemed the least corrupt. sent they are to evacuate the set- ment, somewhere in the of firm Clifford Chance, spoke out range One of Religious the areas that the leaders, tlements. $200,000 to $300,000 (US), against the corruption there. Israeli report seeks to highlight is the urging The involvement of promi- depending on factors such as the Referring to the multi-billion dol- corruption of public works in soldiers to nent and size of ignore religious figures their their home and how long lar contracts given to Halliburton, developing countries. Eigen calls for Israeli soldiers to have evacuation orders, refuse they lived in Gaza. Carver believes "this is an believes that "corruption in large- orders, has the many fearing pos- Violence in Gaza has escalat- absolutely clear example of what are threatened scale being public projects is a daunting of an crisis. ed sibility escalating in recent as the Israeli in the with weeks, happens post-conflict sedition. obstacle to sustainable develop- The Israeli Justice has zone." He that Minister, military stepped up efforts to warns "without and ment, results in a major loss indicated that rab- strike blow strict the Tommy Lapid, a major to Palestinian anti-bribery measures, of public funds needed for educa- Sharon's bis could be for sedi- biggest problem, prosecuted militants before the pullout, while reconstruction of Iraq will be health tion, care and poverty alle- according to Mark tion if dis- Heller, a polit- they soldiers to the militants have wrecked a wasteful diversion urge stepped up by ical viation, both in and at developed analyst the Jaffee Center orders. attacks in order the of obey to create resources to corrupt elites." for developing countries." Strategic Studies at Tel Aviv Israeli settlers in the contend- impression that they are driving The report concludes that cor- University, is ed "disarming the areas gained their land during the Israeli's out. hard-core rupted public works is to blame in - Please see Corrupt, 13 opposition, which is the Six Days War of 1967. All of page 12￿International

Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

the Middle-East, watch Asia Forget WindowsWorld tothe Richard Togman ing ground for Islamic fundamen- pie. Already Afghanistan talism. for accounts some 75 percent of

Overall, a new paradigm is world opium production. If the in the world the emerging as cen- world wishes to prevent

tre of focus and shifts from from into Staff Writer power Afghanistan turning a

to Europe back Asia. The battles narco-terrorist state, much more

of the 21st century will be waged needs to be done.

Asia has historically in Asia and for the first time in As well, the international

Centralbeen destination almost 200 will be a popular years, they community needs to put aside the for expanding empires, ranging waged predominantly by Asian political squabbling and anti-

from the Islamic to the British. powers. Americanism and commit to

The The world would do better current empires of America, to engagement in Iraq. Whether one

and mention attention this with the invasion it China Russia, not to pay more to region. agrees or not,

the underground empire of funda- Apart from India, no other happened. Now the choice is

mentalist Islam will doubt be Central Asian no power is remotely between allowing Iraq to fail sim-

constant whether democratic. Most dic- for the waging war, are run by ply right to say "I told you the such overt or covert, for control of tatorships, as Pakistan, or so" or engaging in the nation and

and its ruled about free region resources. by strict oligarchies such as helping bring a and

contributed Photo The realm of Central Asia is the theocracy in Iran or the democratic Iraq which would act Black Watch to Baghdad

not without its fair share of Communist party in China. Some as a positive force in the region. The British government has in armies. With China the east, of the worst regimes in the world Moreover, more needs to be UK authorities have agreed to a been met with strong criticism

India and Pakistan to the inhabit Central such done the south, Asia, as to pressure Iran into giving U.S. plea to send 500 Scottish over the move. Many see

Iran the Russia to the Turkmenistan. for its search for nuclear President to west, Respect any up weapons. soldiers and 350 support staff, move as a coy plot by of thousands semblance of civil aid needs be W. increase north and hundreds liberties is far- Additionally, to known as the Black Watch, from George Bush to for- in and cical of U.S. troops Afghanistan at best, not to mention rights given to Iranian reformers and their current position near Basra eign presence in one of the most Central Asia is for of bid Iraq, shaping up to women. pressure put on the mullahs so in southern Iraq to the volatile active areas Iraq in a to be the for the that battleground next the iron grip of theocracy can 'Triangle of Death' near help his re-election campaign.

century. Six nuclear armed coun- be broken. The former Soviet Baghdad. The most contentious issue Central Asia is also be held the command tries have interests in the area; republics must The U.S. soldiers that are cur- has been structure to shaping be the accountable for their often brutal Russia, China, India, Pakistan, up rently in the area will be reas- of the new forces. While British

U.S.A. and not to mention of the and violent of their to counter-terror officials will retain overall Israel, battleground suppression signed opera- con- Iran, who will soon have nuclear next century. people. tions. U.S. forces are increasing trol of the Black Watch forces, It is clear that All capabilities. quite this and more needs to their efforts to route out terrorists U.S. officials will have 'tactical

the and stakes are extremely high for occur to bring order, stability in anticipation of violence lead- control' over them. reform the-tumultuous region. This is why more engagement possibly to Central Asia, ing to the upcoming elections.

Not and the only is the vicinity brim- in the region is of absolute neces- West must act as one

ming with oil and natural gas, but sity. International interest is wan- cohesive unit. Western nations drug production, specifically ing for Afghanistan. Europe must unite under the goal of lib- and and opium, is flourishing. Moreover, refuses to commit more troops to erty, equality justice, act

the domain is predominantly help stabilize the country and together to improve this often

Muslim and is acting as a breed- bring full democracy to its peo- desolate region.

Guatemala calls WLU students

KRIS COTE off to explore another," says pline, therefore linking the learn- International Writer Mary Erskine, a participant from ing experience to the classroom.

last year's trip to Cuernavaca, Erskine insists that it is much The Guatemala study tour, Mexico. "The format of this edu- more than anything one would explains Paul Ellingham, WLU cational tour really blurs the dis- obtain in a classroom. "In the ten A from Jesus Contributed Photo is not gift Campus Chaplain, certainly tinction between 'us' and of with the days my experience have been a vacation or an ecotour; rather it years they targeted by 'them.'" Chaplain's Study Tour I learned Thirty years ago the Khmer is an "intense educational U.S. evangelicals. Thao Tanh, a experi- the Church first hand than I could learn Despite heavy more led Pol received Rouge, by Pot, a and ence" which in the past has also former Khmer Rouge soldier involvement, Ellingham empha- in lecture hall in a year." any gift from the U.S. in the form of been "life-changing" for those Christian convert, contends that, sizes that it is not a religious trip, Describing past trips, bombs on who being dropped "I read the Bible and 1 know it participated. about He rather "it is justice." Ellingham noted that it was the Cambodia U.S. by planes. Today, will free of The tour, run through the me from the also stressed that the trip is "not subtleties which made the trip weight evangelical Christians give the campus Lutheran, Catholic and the sins I have committed." to Cultural differences trying change anyone." special. were former murderers the of 'gift Yet United Churches, as well as the many aging converts are Instead, participants come first-hand all experienced by eternal life.' Centre for Global will their new-found Education, with small of using religion as away a piece those who participated, and they From 1975 to 1979 the travel to Guatemala from April an escape from prosecution. knowledge that Erskine describes returned with a greater under- Khmer Rouge killed nearly a 28 to May 7, 2005. Local events Former soldiers, quoting their as "unforgettable." standing of the peoples they visit- third of Cambodia's population. include a Canadian urban experi- new religious views, hope that slots are and an ed. While often Twenty open participants come Khmer The Rouge still have a ence and a to Native their will them trip a reserve is Laurier Christianity keep emphasis placed on to the realization that they are stronghold in the mountain vil- in Brantford. These pre-trip out of prison. expe- students. The activities in part of the problem faced by lage of Pailin, where in the past riences give students a base to Guatemala are flexible, and will Latin Americans, Ellingham draw parallels to while in be tailored to the interests of stresses that the participants Guatemala. also They serve as a those in the participating trip. come together and realize that means to get to know the other students can also there also that Eager inquire are ways they can participants. "It's amazing to look about course credit for the trip become part of the solution. within our country before going their depending on enrolled disci-

No sex and drugs in this rock n' roll

PAM OLIVER

International Writer

A of traditional new genre a

Mexican music, narco corridos, CIA Geneva Contributed Photo has upset Mexican authorities, disregards Mexican Conventions ual forcible transfers." who are pressuring or mass

radio stations to ban the music The housing of supposed al- The International Red has because it glamourizes "gangster- Cross Queda fighters at Guantanamo warned the ism." that U.S. is breaking Bay, Cuba, similarly contravenes

the Geneva Conventions Conventions. Corridos are a traditional by the Geneva

detainees like Mexican musical genre, which secretly transferring American politicians, out of Iraq. The Red Cross has Senator John uses a variety of instruments Republican not been allowed to the from accordions to brass bands, interview McCain, has warned that "The

and do know from seek to tell stories detainees, they not thing that us the and important Contributed Photo separates

their whereabouts or condition. is our for human and legends. "They are a way of enemy respect the hats and mullets, Mexican authorities believe Despite cowboy The BBC that telling the people what is going reports a rights." McCain also believes the Los Tigres del Norte are dangerous, and are banning their music. Justice on," explains Mariluz Gonzalez, Department memo that "These conventions and to at seek to increase their the has begun look social issues, authorizes CIA to take these rules are in for a rea- a spokeswoman for LA-based groups place

and con- the detainees out of for "brief Fonovisa Records. gender immigration power through performers. Iraq a son, because you get on a slip- has written cerns. Narco corridos have Wald, who but not indefinite Article and don't know Originally, narco corridos Elijah period." pery slope you 49 of the fourth described the lives and actions of become a part of the Mexican Geneva where to get off."

- Narco. Please see page 13 where new Conventions prohibits "individ- drug traffickers. More recently it counter-culture, Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly International* 13

- Narco, from page 12 Corrupt, from 11 Texas and California, where page

large numbers of Hispanics live. the facts on the U.S. a book on narco corridos, Just It has also spread south into describes situation where The believes that the a a report Latin America. Los Tigres del corrido performer sought to be of funds Ruben Gu-Konu abouts exists. There is increasing corruption public poses Norte are considered the into prede- smuggled the U.S. "The a threat to sustainable information that al-Qaeda cells develop- cessors of narco corrido, and smuggler would normally charge ment. Eigen told that- have more than doubled since reporters their last album sold 500,000 $ 1,500 but he did it for free "in economic 2001, and that the funding pro- most countries in the U.S. alone. the copies vided writer wrote a corrido is still cor- Staff Writer received by al-Qaeda and its affil- policy perverted by narco corrido about it." Young per- iate terrorist ruption... and therefore poverty groups has signifi- formers, like Jessie Morales, be cantly increased. cannot effectively play into the gang culture of the addressed." The the last three presi- At home, the Department of The influence of report con- U.S. Antonio Mejias-Rentas, During cludes that dential debates, blame has Homeland Security is currently curbing corruption narco corrido is entertainment editor for the would aid been tossed between the from short- the Millennium Kerry suffering an alarming spreading Into the .newspaper La Opinion, realizes Bush With the elec- Development Goal of halving and camps. age of funds to support its anti- that "there is also concern about U.S. and Latin those in the choice terrorist Bush is living poverty by 2015. tion being days away, programs. If re- the glorification of violence and he America, Canada did not escape criti- can boil down to simple facts. elected, will push for a bill to drug consumption, much like in cism from the The The November 2, 2004 elec- more than double the current report. report the world." Authorities that gangsta rap is critical than of but contend the concludes that corporations are tion more any budget the Agency, with no Violence is also factor in "create virtual a It will in songs a justifica- corrupting the political other. single-handedly real reform the way it operates. process. the narco corrido culture, much tion for traffickers." the future of world. drug Large loopholes exist for lobby- shape our America is just as vulnerable as it as in In 1992, prominent Mexican freedom of rap. and Polls have shown that the three speech leg- ists laws are not properly was years ago, even with performer Rosalino "Chalino" islation an ban concerned prohibits outright enforced to ensure that American people are the removal of Saddam Hussein lobbyists Sanchez was shot dead after a on the music, but local radio sta- do not about national security, Iraq, the and the Taliban. gain unfair advantage dispute at his performance. tions have been extorted state the and terrorism. to by over political process. economy This With respect the economy, Despite the best efforts into vol- by The governments accepting complete can be means on November 2, they will the Bush administration entered report Mexican authorities to silence bans. at untary found at http://www.globalcor- be looking the candidate that office with a $5.3 trillion surplus. narco corrido the The of the music performers, will best those interests. popularity tionreport. org/. protect Today, the American economy is rup music remains has strong. But Americans well-informed spread into U.S. states like are looking at a $3.2 trillion deficit. about each candidate? More jobs have been lost beneath

at other Looking the Bush administra- Bush than any president in tion's track record on those the history of the U.S. The global issues, one would ask why economy has not performed well, W. Bush should George be con- but under Bush, the people in the sidered for re-election. top five percent of the tax bracket

On the topic of Iraq, the coun- have gotten wealthier while the

middle try has slowly evolved into a and lower classes have deadly quagmire, in which the struggled. Ii ' iljk "'. "% current administration is scram- Kerry plans to raise taxes for Jl jL IfegHtaH WUgmjlfc

to find answers. are that five of the bling Troops top percent popu- spread dangerously thin, and lation that makes over $200,000 there of units to the deficit and are reports military repair fund pro-

from orders. American which j Wm would reverse the jIL JBL .. defaulting grams, i t J|L JL JipfK j^KyjagjaHH^S^Hß^raß^ troops are dying on a daily basis. Bush administration's mistakes.

Thousands of innocent Iraqis are Senator Kerry also plans to gath- murdered in er the world's and everyday resulting powers restruc- unproductive military efforts. ture the military effort in Iraq.

The Bush the campaign repeatedly Finally, on War on Terror, the world reassures that things are the Kerry campaign believes in safe and that elections will be an intelligence-driven war as but held, there is no indication opposed to a military effort. that will time ffffjjl lllfi^%y. stability come any Gathering intelligence, in con- soon. junction with other law enforce-

ment agencies across the world is

a step in the right direction. Americans are In light of these simple facts, ,# mmt& ;< 4 ■■'" concerned with : -a®*, £&kK * *«*\ Mif^lMmP'r ■■ ￿ •>; ]?•* which have been in v documented ,;■; '*'"^ _ fejJpp if security, Iraq, the the news and everywhere else, the of the American economy and hiring next '\ president should not be too diffi- '''j' .!-■ .. terrorism. '^MMi '*"W? ka 1 -. . cult. As it stands, situations are

worsening in key regions for the

Regarding national American It is safe security, people. to say

Sk ji. a|l «■ ill and «», A, »£ fc M the CIA other that a is needed. Even if intelligence change ;< 3 Jltj i iWm 34£^: have that the does agencies reported Kerry not win my vote, he two-year intensive search of al- sure beats Bush on the road to a

Qaeda mastermind, Osama bin better America, and consequently

Laden, is a dead end. No current a better world.

information about his where-

Picture of the week

i !Kl l C^ s ; B 1..'"

WTW y <% miilml r«,I I A case for police brutality V

v "' -y,-A ■jA y/-'i.f/ < ■■ -;- . * *■■> A>Vc

ri °t involving 1,500 Muslim in Thailand turned , protesters deadly after 78 men died ofsuffocation while being transported Six other by police. men died during the clashes. 14•Feature

OlRlO AND l~C~WDS ...... UWV~ll~D!

By MichELLE PiNchEv

"In 1994, the Las Vegas police reported a disturbing series of crimes along the Vegas strip. The first victim in this wave was an Ohio man in town for a sales convention. At the bar in his hotel, the man happened to strike up a conversation with an attractive young woman. According to the man, the two hit it off, sharing several drinks over the course of a couple hours. At some point, the man blacked out, and when he came to, he found himself lying in a hotel bathtub, covered in ice. There was a phone rest- - ing on the floor beside the tub, with an attached note that said, "Call 911 or you will die." He called an ambulance and was rushed to the hospital, where the doctors informed him that he had undergone massive surgery. One of his kidneys had been removed, apparently by a gang selling human organs on the black market. Following this occurrence, many similar crimes were reported, leading Las Vegas police to issue warnings to travelers visiting the city." Obviously, this story isn't true. Like all urban legends its, ori­ gins trace back to nothing but the depths of someone's sick imag­ ination. · Any modem, fictional story like this, including many garbage e-mails we find ourselves bombarded with, all fall under the clas­ sification of urban legends. These are passed by word-of-mouth and are almost always false. Usually, they're centralized by some theme combining humour and horror, but they tap into our moral­ ity, empathy and curiosity as well as our deepest fears. Wednesday October 27, 2004- The Cord Weekly Feature•15 16Student Life Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

Learning opportunities are endless

Laurier offers Teaching Assistant positions to students unlike other Ontario universities

CHRISTINE SUIZE ment will only grant a student Cord Student Life one course to TA, permitting that

that course fits into his or her students know, As many schedule. Generally, the depart- Wilfrid Laurier is highly ment would like to have that stu- recognized for its diversity in stu- dent be a TA for that same course dent opportunities. This is evi- for an entire year. A student dent from the volunteer positions should receive an e-mail in July offered within the Students' confirming their position as a TA and Union, Campus Clubs on- at least for those positions within employment. However, campus the biology department. Although many students are unaware that the application process may be Laurier is known as one of the over, the student's role as a TA only schools within Ontario has just officially begun. which offers Teaching Assistant TA's act as tutorial leaders (TA) positions to undergraduate who get the ball rolling and initi- students within certain depart- ate group discussions, or they ments. answer questions in labs. After talking to several TA's But just what exactly is the and some departments, it is clear role that TA's play in the learning that the of and process applying environment and in the lives of requirements for positions vary students? A description of the from one interdisciplinary course is outlined in the teach- position Erin Moore there to another yet are still simi- ing assistant's handbook, found Third Biology student and Teaching Assistant Krystina Waler pictured with students dissecting larities. year It on the school's website. Laurier TA for to something yummy. provides many positions on-campus students gain experience. To give you an idea of what to explains many aspects that TA's and leam tricks and who does the such here is an of new requirements as a cover let- expect, example should keep in mind each time you separate person how the procedure works for the techniques." marking for a class and not the ter, transcripts, letters of recom- they meet with their students Around He that the time TA," Khimani pointed out. "The mendation, etc. biology department: that TA's the explained explaining act as March, faculty members visit commitment involves about two workload depends from course to As Khimani will attest, if "bridge and filter" that connects this classes to discuss more about the to three hours marking assign- course... people usually stick to you're an student, the students to the professors. upper year for class of 20 students. their paid TA positions offered to ments a own program." experience provides many bene- They are to guide students by students. During their In his second year teaching this These same opportunities fits, especially if you are plan- upper year helping them problem solve and brief stu- he finds that he has more however are not within on to teacher's col- presentation, they tell the used in course, provided ning going present methods their in The dents exactly how to and of an advantage. He applies his other universities Ontario. lege. If you're interested in apply particular discipline. from last of Western Ontario don't hesitate what requirements are needed for experience gained year, University becoming a TA, to Rahman Khimani, a third year eligible candidates. which cuts the amount of hours (UWO) and McMaster approach the department offices Computer Science major and lab down minutes to for to A student may be allowed to marking to 30 University, instance, require for further details and check on TA, described his experience as a for an hour. an individual to have a the school website under apply as many courses as they of You graduate faculty way "learning new things. would like. However, the depart- "For some courses, there is a degree as. well as additional postings. already know about the material,

Oktoberfest - the eighth wonder of the world

Sarah Topple A normally uneventful evening at What downtown Waterloo has to a local Timmy's turns interesting offer in terms of stationary A day in the life

similar hat. I, pretending to be hat, to at her husband once AMY MALLETT mumty. glare Staff Writer worldly, greeted them with a more and then grabbed her coffee While at Laurier, studying to Well, folks, last weekend I was "Guten Nacht" and and become friendly sat down at one of my fresh- a librarian, Weber visited somehow pushed into agreeing to This week as I out asked them what wanted sought a new the Eva they ly cleaned tables. She then pro- Wing Gift Shop and it work the night shift at one of this and to from half interesting place discover, my empty display case. ceeded to with her husband was there that she developed a city's multiple Tim Horton's. argue I decided to venture fur- Frau Aristocrat at her and 1 heard the slightly love for cards but The started off glared in hushed tones never imagined evening rou- ther out of the Laurier husband and stalked off the typical she be in to words "cab" and "rain." I began that would some day tinely enough with the other night comfort down her hat zone, heading this business. washroom, removing to to giggle ever so slightly. However, many shift crowd getting their start-of- Street to find what I could reveal of hair. King that's what coffee, a mass messy, wet Watching these ridiculously years later, exactly the-work-day punctuated It then that I noticed that investigate. was they dressed people was like she's doing and her store has by the odd couple of bouncers argue the location that I Smurfs drunk and Again much to offer to students and to who hav- watching get and cops were already decided to visit is that resort to each other with one may the of beating general population ing a long night. useful of was like to fel- [It] their - prove many my Waterloo. in walking sticks it was sim- All of a sudden, people cos- low Laurier students, and proved Smurfs ply too ludicrous to take serious- Featuring great cards ranging tumes - costumes - began watching get funny * be to a great place to drop in to. ly. When they left, another couple from humorous to sentimental, as wandering in out of the rain to get drunk and resort locale of choice ended and her My up well and different walked in, a girl as pens writing coffee and ask me where the beating each other young being one to me a suggested by with wide vari- word boyfriend, wearing mild supplies, along a nearest (insert vulgar cuss with their fellow word and walking geek English Tree Oktoberfest souvenirs. ety of stationary, The Paper here) payphone was because they and is named The sticks major, suitably is the I them with a hearty perfect place to visit for stu- couldn't obtain a (refrain of the greeted Tree. Paper who for taxi. "Guten Nacht" and took their dents are looking an vulgar cuss word) A and both stationary greeting card were soaked to the skin. The orders. The girl her date a added professional edge to a pres- A large percentage of these gave store located at 40 Street husband smiled and King for ordered tight smile and sat down at a table entation, or just searching a people were couples seeking to South in The some coffee and that that Waterloo, Paper send friend. explained opposite to the one was unique card to to a enjoy the last night of Tree is known for the had cab offering they been trying to find a recently vacated. So, the next time you're in the Oktoberfest together. "widest selection of for time greeting a long and asked if I had He a coffee and sat down market for a card that will leave One couple stood out from the got cards in that Kitchener-Waterloo," a phone they could use. with her. I heard strains of someone rolling on the floor with rest. I heard the "beep-beep" of argu- to its owner Marion I him that "taxi" according the back explained to no, I ment involving the words laughter, or blushing at the door opening and went from Weber, who opened the store did not have a but if he and the of classroom because or she phone, "money" punctuating a he throwing out donuts to serving a almost and Frau Aristocrat would sound thrown twenty years ago. can't believe how sweet care to of donuts being (or very tall, very aristocratic, very A Laurier and graduate a take' a jaunt across the parking out. ridiculously sentimental) you are, pissed off woman wearing a large "real Weber this uptown supporter," lot. they would find I set a look- why not check out The Paper Bavarian hat complete with, 1 kid contrap- particularly tasty The Tree with tion called of the vari- for opened Paper Tree and what it has to and phone, ing apple fritter to one side discover you not, bells whistles. pay of hopes providing "something ety. later and to a little offer you? Attached to this woman was a began giggle different" the Waterloo com- Frau to returned, wearing her bit to myself. short, apologetic man wearing a Student Life Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly 17

Food forThought Horoscopes

Happy Bdoy Scorpio (0ct.23-N0v.21) Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)

With all the activity going on you're It is imperative that you demonstrate

going to have to be careful not to over your ability to perform certain tasks. If extend yourself. It won't be any fun there is something that you are really If being burned out on your birthday. good at, now is the time to show off. You

you're really busy with school or work never know who might notice. Be sure

right now take a rain check on any invi- you follow your intuition. tations to celebrate. Luckiest day: October 28.

Scorpio (Oc.t. 23-Nov. 21) Gemini (May 2 I-June 21)

Someone will have You remain focussed an unexpected gift must on your Make for you. Make sure you. sure you goals. Things are starting to fall into this Aside don't forget to thank person. place now; it is only a matter of time

from any special gifts, now is a good before things start falling into place on little Get their But until time to go on a spree. yourself own. that happened you nice. something must take one day at a time. Luckiest October 30. Luckiest October 27. ANDREW BOLTER day: day:

Food Critic

* Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) Cancer (June 22-July 22}

' X'' Whether you forgot your girl- An authority figure is going to try and get You are going to be looking at the people somehow called friend's birthday, information out of in the next little around you differently, you may notice you while. Make sure ideas hide or behaviours surfacing you protect your her fat, or are just trying to certain patterns and don't reveal you don't like. It's ok to distance yourself any special plans you the fact that are a horrible you have to Don't lie Contributed Photo from whom is making anyone. though; people mouth, their fatty encasing anyone you Street Trio is my will know to person, King a uneasy. you're up something. and I lover was a bit charred dominated honest am not a of mush- October 29. Luckiest October 30. that Lukiest day: day: restaurant ensures forgive- veal the taste. rooms but, together with the ness and then moves right into Capricorn (Dec. 22-jar. 19) \ Leo |July 23-August 22) and rice the sauce became indis foreplay. The live jazz, elegant Shrimp Pernod {$10) pensable. The soft consistency and first-class cuisine Keep working towards you goals even if atmosphere If you are feeling left out it is only and created the are unsure about what synergy by ingre- because you you are offers a true trio of reasons to people are respecting your pri- You will be successful in whatev- I had doing. Recommended by the waitress, dients made me feel as if vacy, you are going to have to be a little visit the restaurant for next er you put your best intentions into. But your of an extrovert. Don't hesitate to been more this dish could be described as a covered by a warm blanket. blunder. it is absolutely imperative that you special occasion, or large invite someone out with you, why bother salad encased in remain focussed on the task at hand. warm shrimp a around for someone to ask As I entered the front door I waiting you. Luckiest day: October 29. Luckiest October 30. trumpet shaped phyllo pastry. Dessert day: became increasingly glad that I The crispy shell and soft, smooth shirt and wore a collared jacket. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) texture of the contents made this Cappuccino Cheesecake ($7) While keeping an upscale fafade, to eat. Don't back financial dish both delicious and fun Make sure examine all the issues turn your to situa- the staff seemed unpretentious you I are dealing with right now carefully. tions or arrangements. You must Described to me as "Orgasmic," you and In observe all of extremely approachable. Don't jump into any new situations with- your accounts closely; an Entrees like to call this little creation the out fully investigating them first. Any error may cause some turmoil. Don't fact, I almost left my date for the go panty dropper. decisions should be made logically over on any spending sprees until your finan- waitress based on her extensive the next while. cial situation is more stable. Earth and Ocean ($35) knowledge of meat. Luckiest day: October 27. Luckiest day: October 30. Pernod Creme Brule ($7) We were seated at a table Pisces A surf and turf option comprised (Feb. 19-Mar. 20) libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) overlooking the entire dining area of an 8 ounce Black Angus The subtle black licorice infusion and bar, which are both impres- Now is the time to try something new. If Sirloin and two rock lobster tails. made for a nice addition to this With everything going on right now sive and far from the normal a a cry you are feeling little bored, something make sure that you touch base with all The steak was tender and cooked French specialty. It was definitely little creative will life I have a more spark some student establishments of your friends, some of them may be the best I have had the into your daily routine. Doing something to my specifications (still moo- one ever thinking that you've fallen off the face of become accustomed to. As I dis- with a friend could result in some inter- the earth. You must think carefully when ing) but had an exorbitant amount pleasure of devouring and was cussed with it esting adventures. my accomplice, making decisions regarding friendships of rub still on it which took If are a Luckiest October 30. spice perfectly presented. you day: also. was almost like we had escaped over the flavour. The lover of Creme Brule make sure Luckiest day: October 31. if for few accompany- university life, only a Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. ! 9) lobster tails and to save room for this treat. hours. ing potatoes * _ .» ' Daniel Roth is a Journalism gradu- were a nice treat, but the high- If it feels like are excluded After taking a few minutes to you being ate of Conestoga College and is cur- of the dish was to While a bit for a student from certain circles of friends, it is only light my ability pricey a Communication Studies look over the numerous menu rently because you haven't shown enough substitute my vegetables for a budget, King Street Trio offers a student at Laurter. He has items to Wilfrid and wine list we came interest in what other people are doing. delectable assorted fruit taste of fine close to cam- studied and other dining If want to be invited out more, Astrology topics our conclusions and waited, lick- cup. you you that almost ten next time are going to have to act more social. of genre for. years. in pus. Maybe your par- ing our lips for the anticipation Luckiest day: October 31. Al Veal Scaloppine Funghi ($2l) ents come to visit, you can coax fare to arrive. them into picking the bill. what up So exactly did we eat? Like wine from the hand If out sipping you are planning a night the veal of God, was an experi- make sure make a reserva- Appetizers you What is Student Life? that I won't tion the ence soon forget. since at 7:00, just as

Succulent cutlets of veal were pianist took to the ivory, the Bacon wrapped scallops served filled smothered in a rich four mush- restaurant completely up. with mini potato latkes ($10) room sauce and placed atop a Tell David Ortiz. , moundof white risotto. To be Although the scallops did melt in

He Said/She Said

3S&

Dear He - Said She Said, stand seriously. sympathy for your problem at __JH Once the shakes "Tim's I'm the from university. sure majority You full of guys are so of interesting withdrawal" dissipate I suggest students feel the same way you advice. list of what's do. feel making a important Don't discouraged, you I read column whenever and what for fun. your you're doing can still try and have it all. Being it's in the I'll is fact of life and I'm •><= paper, I'd love it if you Here, help you. School is busy a sure r —i

can work help me out with a little prob- important, helps pay for it's not going to get better once lem I've been stuff and I'm sure in the real world having. pretty sleeping you're Get fill @ also your Well, it's not really a problem, is a must, so those are all The trick is to learn how to J |

but I'm full-time stu- which anyway, a things are mandatory. manage your time. Writing things dent and I'm trouble else is down will decide what having get- Everything potentially help you all of work done and ting my school a waste of time. is possible you can gain a and 111 ft n involved in some of the a of clubs sense in j being Being part campus small of accomplishment clubs is what is on campus, working, seeing university about, meet- every time you are able to stroke

the he my boyfriend during week, ing new people, having fun, etc., off something from your to-do whines if I don't see and but when it starts to take all of list. him, up TAX INCLUDED high school friends I see on the time have to let it or That need to find | your you go, said, you j55.00 weekends and list much. phew, the goes not participate as some time for yourself. If that

on. I drink lots of coffee Even friends and either yummy your means dropping an Big]ulcy ™sc ! to Pop get the but I'm are extracurricular or through day up boyfriend not priorities. activity even | at night -sometimes. So, do you And if your boyfriend seri- dropping a course, you should homemade (6oz hamburger) i have useful if he can't it. any advice for me? ously whines see you, definitely consider It's far bet-

I have the in three just thing for you to tell ter to get good grades or ■ LUV, him. Are four classes than mediocre marks it and will be hooked!!! you ready? Here it is, [Try you Super-Duper- Crazy-Tired "F*%# off, I'm busy!" in five or six classes. See, As for boyfriend, if he's simple. your 160 University Ave E than he worthy of your time Plaza He should understand where I University facing Phillip Said... She Said... your dan roth LAURIE VANDENHOFF priorities are and show some sup- We Deliver 888 - 0030 for and j j port you your goals.

No more caffeine. I don't much Do you under- think you'll find WLU | 18 Sports Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekfr

Hawks conclude perfect regular season

Despite a poor effort against York, the Hawks become first

WLU football 8 - 0 team to go

defence marched over by gem running back Andre Durie.

Somehow the Hawks man-

to 15 aged escape the half with a

- lead 13 despite not recording a single first-down. Linebacker

Jesse Alexander was rewarded

- Perfect, from cover for his breakout with 33- year a If the TD win was special, the game yard after an interception, itself was ugly. The Hawks while Yannick Carter added played what was their worst another six to the score sheet with of game the season on both sides a highlight reel return. of the ball, looking in disarray "I don't know what else there

is about that defence. We and undisciplined. to say

didn'thave the In fact, ifit wasn't for a strong an offence at start, fourth quarter from the offence but they came through in the www.laurierathletics.com and York and defence an incompetent quarter- fourth quarter our The Hawks have but York took a and literal Baechler went kung-fu. may tripped, figurative face-plant. back, the game might have hung just held it together," said Carter, in the balance. who marched 91 for yard yards will. With But in light of the lapses, formance worried him as the games certainly an the highlight reel TD. remains trademark of team for action undefeated record, the Hawks are what the prepares playoff Carter's assessment of the "To be the first team this Hawks team is their ability to after a bye next week, Jeffries now officially the team to beat. defence's performance may not that has actually bounce back in the late going. gave a resounding no. have considered Andre Durie. "This doesn't me Andrew Baechler punctuated team worry 8 - that's Final gone 0, York's who is the Standings j Durie, arguably least. a late third quarter drive with a in the They have no fear something special." best player in Canada, did what brilliant 12-yard touchdown and they work extremely hard," Team W L OTL PTS no other running back, including catch, while Nick Cameron he said.

- Ryan Pyear Jesse Lumsden, has done this sea- recovered from a dreadful first While the Hawks' semi-final Laurier 8 0 0 16

walk all over the son: stingy November 6 half to run for 97 yards and a game, at University McMaster 7 1 0 14 "We just didn't execute, that's Hawks defence. Durie tallied 129 touchdown. Baechler added a Stadium against either Ottawa or all," said Head Coach and 64 receiving Gary rushing yards touchdown Western 6 2 0 12 second on a five-yard Guelph pending what looks like Jeffries, as he tried to into yards on the afternoon despite put obvious Western catch from Pyear's rejuvenated an victory over Ottawa 5 3 0 10 half that what perspective a first saw looked like solid inside cov- 38 - 19. arm to leave the score at York, may not require an the offensive and the Guelph 4 4 0 8 silenced, erage. hard future When asked if Saturday's per- extremely effort,

York 3 5 0 6

Windsor 3 5 0 6

Waterloo 2 5 1 5

Crossed in heartbreaker 2 6 0 4 out a ' Queen's

Toronto 0 8 0 0 I I

aren't adaisical everyone's target [as an warm-up, missing

Women's lacrosse team falls and apart undefeated team]." assignments on defence Orth also mentioned that her lacking intensity. GOLDEN HAWK in final minutes intensi- It the excellent against Brock; team would "pick up [its] was mostly

in practice, and work on [our] play of keeper Tamara Watt that end undefeated record ty UPDATE defence. We have the offence, kept the Hawks in the game.

to slow but we need to find a way Against Western, in a bizarre DAN HOCKING the game and never looked back, Laurier Week of to October 25-29, 2004 Cord Sports down [Kraznozon]." moment, was one player routing Western 16-6. short on the field for about five with Nicholls led all scorers LAST WEEK'S RESULTS

The undefeated streak is over. minutes in the second half, dur- five points, including three goals. "[l] wasn't which two Western 10/20/04 On a dreary Sunday morning, ing goals Jenna McCoubrey scored four the disappointed by scored. M the women's lacrosse team were Volleyball 3, Waterloo 1 times and Erica Howard tallied 1055... the [it] got one Hawk seemed to couldn't hold on to a two-goal Only W Volleyball 3, Waterloo 2 two goals and two assists. lead, falling to Brock 9-8. monkey off our notice that they were a player Gavaris and Ilott added two goals 10/21/04 face-offs and other The Hawks 8 - 6 with short, even as were up each and Bohdanka Hontar also back." M Basketball 95, UCCB 86 two minutes but three stoppages in play occurred. remaining, scored for the Hawks.

straight from Brock's Heidi - Lynn Orth, Head Coach These lapses in discipline and the goals With the loss, combined with 10/22/04 Kraznozon, including the failure to pay attention are not go- Brock's victory over U of T 9 - 7, W Hockey 4, Queen's 1 ahead with 13 seconds remain- While the offence is strong, what you'd expect from a cham- Laurier loses the home site for M Soccer Waterloo 0 needs with 1, ing, put Laurier Kraznozon the team to play more pionship-calibre team. away. next week's playoffs, which is W Soccer Waterloo 0 if to While Orth has 1, ended with seven for the discipline they are going a good up goals instead awarded to Brock. demonstrating why she is defend their OUA championship. record, and the team has looked game, Coach Lynn Orth said she '10/23/04 While in the unbeatable at without a the leading OUA scorer. unjustly penalized times, "wasn't the loss, disappointed by M Football 38, York 19 first half against Brock, drawing serious adjustment on the pitch, it showed as us things [that we the the Hawks W Hockey 5, York 0 three yellow cards, women may not repeat as need] to work on and got the - Laurier 8 Brock 9 and finished the M 4, Toronto 3 started game a champions. Hockey monkey off of our back. Now, we

Laurier - M 18 Western 6 little sloppy, running a lack- Volleyball 0, McMaster 3

W Volleyball 3, McMaster 0

10/24/04 Jenna Gavaris led the Hawks M Soccer Trent 0 three 1, with points, a goal and two W Soccer 3, Trent 2 assists. Megan Yaraskavitch W Lacrosse 8, Brock 9 added two goals, and Kathleen W Lacrosse Western 6 McCrea and Leanne Nicholls 16,

and M Hockey 6, 1 had a goal an assist each. Ryerson

scored with Jessica Ilott a nifty

behind-the-back move, and UPCOMING HOME GAMES

Heather also added a McHardy 10/29/04 single. M Soccer Quarter Final vs. RMC, The loss to Brock snapped a 1:00 PM, University Stadium 21-game winning streak stretch-

W vs. Ottawa ing back to the beginning of last Volleyball

season. the Clearly disappointed, 10/30/04 Hawks had to endure the Brock M Hockey vs. RMC players jubilant celebration after 7:00PM, Waterloo Rec Complex the final whistle.

Determined to come out 10/31/04. in the afternoon Rowena Garcia stronger game, M Hockey vs. Queen's Laurier scored four seconds into tender the second of the Hawks' double Leanne Nicholls puts one past the Western in game header. 5:00 PM, Waterloo Rec Complex Laurier won the game 16-6. Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly NBA Preview 19

Cord Sports' guide to the Association

With the absence of hockey, sports fans will look to the NBA for their sports fix this winter... so to the save masses from awkward moments of unfounded evaluations and Raptors obvious reflections, a Cord special Sports panel brings to you the preview will reach Pistons should playoffs feign over East

The Toronto Raptors have a lot of this question marks entering the With year's rankings, The Pacers have added Stephen 2004 - 2005 season. However, Cord Weekly pane] of expert Jackson and his 18.8 points per there is more than one reason writers decided that once from sports game Atlanta to improve on to consider the home team again all eyes will be straining to their 20th ranked offence from a viable contender this see the Detroit Pistons in playoff rising last year. season. the standings and grabbing hold The Eastern Conference is of first place and the Eastern CLEVELAND

Leßron and Co. out weak. In fact, at first Conference crown. Just for those just missed glance it's

on the in 2003/2004. similar to Pro-Line addicts though, here's post-season checking out a group This time around, of the A few look the complete list of 'contenders' they won't be opposite sex. for 2004/2005. so hard pressed, adding support- really good (Pistons, Pacers,

Eric Snow and ing role players Heat), most of the others are DETROIT Drew Gooden. decent at best and some of Can The you say 'repeat'? them are simply not good at all BOSTON Pistons should have no problem, (Atlanta, Charlotte). into other than possibly Indiana, of Gary Payton is hoping to fit On the court, the Raptors the Celtics' carrying their system after bogging league-leading have a talent-filled roster with defensive down the Lakers. He'll down game all the way to bog a scoring nucleus. Vince the Beantowners their second straight title. too, but at least Carter, Jalen Rose, and Chris they have Paul Pierce to keep Bosh make up a group of for- MIAMI them above water. mer, current and future all- in town. said. Shaq's Enough Contributed Photo TORONTO stars.

No other controls the of his team like NEW YORK They are not as bad as everyone player destiny Shaq.

thinks. Let's hope Vince his With a potentially deadly shoot- keeps down and that three's ing trio of Tim Thomas, Stephon whining a

charm - three Sam Marbury and Allan Houston, the being RAPTORS Mitchell, the third coach Knicks will be looking to shoot Raptor Horse the in three race lights out of their opponents. years.

ORLANDO INDIANA Steve Francis will most definitely The East's best team, outside of in West need to be 'the franchise' to expected the will take Pistons, Indiana Look for Carter to thrive squeak the Magic in the final fourth only because division win- this in Sam Mitchell's year up- playoff spot. ners take the first three spots. The tempo style offensive scheme. It will certainly be one wild, wild HOUSTON If he truly wants to be traded, West in basketball's most com- McGrady says the offence in he must show that he is the conference. Here's look Houston petitive a right now is focused dominant player that he used to how The Cord Weekly's sports around Yao. That's only until he be. For the time being, Toronto see in learns gurus things stacking how to "Give me the The Year in up say, is Preview still Carter's team to lead. the Western conference this sea- ball!" in Chinese. Regardless of the motivation, son. DALLAS expect an emotional Carter to have SAN ANTONIO Bye, bye Steve Nash. Hello Jason a career year. EASTERN CONFERENCE WESTERN CONFERENCE The Another Spurs are simply too strong Terry! That's almost a 3 points reason to be opti-

not to finish on Here's mistic is the addition of top. hop- per game improvement. street- 1. DETROIT* 1. SAN ANTONIO* ing that Tony Parker, Manu baller legend, Rafer Alston. 2. MIAMI* 2. MINNESOTA* DENVER Ginobli and newly acquired With apologies to Alvin 3. NEW YORK* 3. SACRAMENTO* Here's hoping that Carmelo Brent gets Barry can support their Williams (all heart, no knees) 4. INDIANA 4. HOUSTON off Mary-Jane long enough to MVP Tim Duncan, who and Milt Palacio 5. fatigued (all speed, no CLEVELAND 5. DALLAS notice he's got a decent team led the Americans to an unim- game), the Raps have a 6. BOSTON 6. DENVER finally around him with newly added in pressive bronze Athens just a real point guard. 7. TORONTO 7. LA LAKERS Kenyon Martin from New Jersey. few months The of 8. ORLANDO 8. PHOENIX. ago. acquisitions Loren L.A. LAKERS Woods and Rafeal Araujo MINNESOTA * denotes division should take winners Kobe gets some lovin' for some of the After leading pres- a year getting used to play- off a team on his own. With a low sure of Bosh an allow the ing with other actual NBA play- playoff spot that is. second-year veteran to play his ers (Sam Cassell, Latrell natural Playoff Rundown power forward posi- Sprewell), Garnett will feel the PHOENIX tion. But expect Bosh to be from pressure carrying the Amare Stoudemire will be out to teamed with Marshall in the Timberwolves for so long on his prove that he is just as good as front court during crunch time. shoulders melt Leßron and away, making this Carmelo, as he says Like it or not, Toronto is one of season his scariest yet. he is. With a great like passer 15 teams without a legitimate Steve Nash with the Suns now, SACRAMENTO centre. Stoudemire could Same come through team as 2003 - 2004, From the bench Mo-Pete in the desert. EASTERN CONFERENCE WESTERN CONFERENCE expect same results. and Lamond Murray should DETROIT OVER INDIANA MINNESOTA OVER HOUSTON provide the scoring along with the versatile Donyell Marshall.

Expect for Roger Mason and

Jerome Moiso to see limited

action, while Matt Bonner and ■ , ; Pape Sow cheer.

NBA FINALS Overall, look for the DETROIT OVER MINNESOTA Raptors to turn some heads this

season and maybe even win the Atlantic Division. They've got the ticket plane but can they get Individual Awards to their playoff destination via Air Canada? The season

begins on November 3 as the MOST VALUABLE PLAYER SIXTH MAN Rockets visit Toronto. SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, HEAT STEPHEN JACKSON, PACERS

RUNNER-UP: TIM DUNCAN, SPURS RUNNER-UP: BRENT BARRY, SPURS THE CORD SPORTS PANEL CONSISTS OF:

ROOKIE Contributed Photo OF THE YEAR COACH OF THE YEAR MIKE BROWN BEN BULLS GORDON, PAUL CAVS Yo? Yao? Houston is an team with the SILAS, average giant, they are a con- MARK HOPKINS RUNNER-UP: EMEKA CATS OKAFOR, RUNNER-UP: SAM MITCHELL, RAPTORS tender with T-Mac. DAN POLISCHUK BRYAN SHINN '￿Sports - The Cord 20 Wednesday October 27, 2004 Weekly

Women look sharp in opener

the board until late in son following extended pressure Gaels off Hawks skate to two the easy by Laurier offence. Assistant the third. However, with only captain Laurissa Kenworthy 1:07 remaining, Queen's forward victories and York against Queens rounded out the Laurier scoring Molly Groenewegen spoiled the

in the second shutout as she roofed one coming behind solid early period. goaltending off the left wing.

After the game, the veteran MIKE BROWN rode a wave of emotion to a deci- "We played so well was to credit her Staff Writer goalie quick sive 4 - 1 victory. team tonight. My teammates for the win. "We After relatively even play to makes in so to so well set easy played tonight," www.laurierathletics.com stage was for a the Laurier broke begin game, get back into the remarked Eadie. "My team Thethrilling season opener last has surrendered the ice with a play marker Cindy Eadie power into makes it so easy to get back Friday as Laurier's women's of in two at 9:18 when last year's leading swing things." only one goal games. the swing of things." hockey team faced off against the scorer, Fiona Aiston, beat - Eadie, goaltender Cindy Indeed, Eadie looked solid Queen's Golden Gaels for the Laurier women are off to precise- Queen's keeper Claire Hunt's again on Saturday as Laurier first time since defeating them in ly the type of start they'd hoped five-hole. Then, a mere 18 sec- From that on, the their record to 2 - 0 point play improved for. The team's success last year, onds later, right wing Nicole road win of Hawks' net-minder Cindy with a convincing 5-0 with their CIS rank- Laurier 4 - 1 coupled high Queen's Gooding roofed one stick side to Eadie, who also missed last sea- over the York Lions. Rookie ing, has created lofty expecta- - 2 - 0 Laurier 5 York 0 give Laurier a advantage. with the Samantha scored twice in son due to training Cully tions, but Head Coach Rick Before the end of the first, first as a Golden Hawk Canadian Olympic softball team, her game Osborne is optimistic: "We think Laurier struck once more as took centre stage. Despite an to the offence, while to last year's OUA final. The pace that we can be a real contender game Jessica Singh, returning to the intensified Queens' attack Kenworthy, Amanda Joseph, and didn't exactly mirror last year's get out of Ontario again." team after a one-year hiatus, throughout the second and third Diana Cicchillo each added one. tense battle, however, as Laurier notched her first goal of the sea- periods, Eadie kept the Golden Though obviously early, the

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- ...... 2004- Wednesday October 27, The Cord Weekly Entertainment 21

Music Explosion rocks Wilf's stage

Four local bands compete for the chance to move

on to final Music Explosion

MA ADRIAN hard-hitting tune that was tight in The Targets were the third Writer Staff execution but and given enough group of the night, tore like Denzel breathing room for some inspired through their set tore Thursday evening, four improvisation. Despite their through kidnappers in "Man on Lastpromising local bands slight frames, Ensuing Silence Fire". The quartet rattled the win- stormed the stage at Wilfs for boasted a big sound, and shook dows with their first song, a Music Explosion. Presented by the Wilfs in what space at was a danceable, garage-tinged stomp- Radio Laurier and Molson, the blues rocker that fine opening set. ing was reminis- well-attended event (the first in a The take the of Franz Ferdinand the next group to cent (if series) pitted the acts against each stage was Dillinger, a four-piece Scottish funksters grew up being other in a winner-take-all chal- diet of CCR pop rock band hailing from force-fed a merciless lenge, with the night's victor of On heavier Woodstock, Ontario. Their songs instead haggis). to their mettle moving on prove with eschewed were upbeat, bright, laden numbers, the Targets again in future competition. sweeter-than-soda and formulaic and choruses, pop songwriting

went featured some very ambitious straight for the jugular, as Dillinger ended their vocal harmonies, not unlike their lead-guitarist Andrew

Maroon 5. In their more hurled forth set with covers that aggres- Jimmy Page-inspired sive moments, Dillinger riffs. The tunes were stripped- the girls and got Chris Clemens unleashed a rousing funk-accent- down and raw, epitomized by and the boys jumping ed classic rock with which sound, gui- Greg's vocals, were so Asher: proving that bears can rock too.

pints spilling. tarist Nick C. channeling the spir- gritty they could be used as trac-

it of six-string virtuoso Eddie tion to get your car out of icy this writer hadn't seen about their musical image prowess, as Hazel of Funkadelic. The crowd, patches in the winter. The band since his last experiment with evidenced by their noose-tight already strongly behind the band, finished with a searing cover of The musical Mortal Kombat mushrooms. After an obligatory performance and formidable really got into it when the unmis- "Hard to Handle", an Otis Care Bear countdown, Asher was kicked off by rock band put songwriting ability. The group takable riff of Led Zeppelin clas- Redding number re-popularized furious of Ensuing Silence, who broke on a display ear shat- have an intimidating command of sic "Whole Lotta Love" ginsu by the Black Crowes. whatever silence remained with tering madness. Their music was their instruments, and demon- the the knifed through air. Although The final act of night was riff an opening guitar that hit fast unapologetic heavy-metal, com- strate an expertise and talent that the cover could have easily and hard. Their impressive first plete with blaring double-kick belies their youth. Fun, frenetic, veered from a rock homage to a Asher turned drums that rivaled number demonstrated a solid heavy- shotgun blasts, and over-the-top, Asher turn comical farce, Dillinger managed melodic framework and a distin- metal clichs into a blindingly fast finger-tapping sheavy-metal cliches into a a more than passable perform- and invitation guishable 70's rock influence. friendly invitation to solos, bone-crunching guitars friendly to join their ance, thanks especially to front- Other would evoke memo- that hit like a punch from the Care-Bear in Cloud-Land. songs their Care Bear you party man Adam Daly's charismatic join ries of and fist of God. Even their While all grunge punk, high- stage bands onstage that Jack Black-meets-Chris Jericho party in Cloud-Land. lighted by anguished vocals and moves were pure vintage metal, night showed the guts, only one delivery. The band ended their set solos that between of the would guitar tangoed featuring self-aggrandizing groups get the glory, with covers of Jet ("Cold Hard the classic rock of Neil Young "cock-rock" posturing and syn- and in the end Dillinger became Bitch") and AC/DC ("Dirty Asher, a high voltage heavy- and the harmonic dissonance of chronized head-banging. the crowned kings of the first Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"), which metal outfit from Kitchener. The Trace Nirvana. amounts of metal Unexpected covers of Hilary installment of Music Explosion. got the girls and boys jumping, band entered the venue appearing and could Duff and Ace of Bass added to If this first battle groove-based jamming epic was any and hit the pints of Stella spilling, as mere mortals, but the stage also be discerned from their the whole lunacy of their per- indication, the next Music the smaller members of the in the form of giant guitar-wield- formance. songs, which were all performed Though Asher are a Explosion will be well-worth wit- crowd looking increasingly wor- ing Care Bears; it was a delight- energetically. The band really cut band that revel in their sense of nessing. ried. ful surprise for the crowd, and an their final loose on number, a humour, there is nothing funny

Plan's Local bands Simple pretend punk team up

crowd without JULIAN ALBRECHT solo over stutter- young being per- ophone raging Plan concert to Cord Entertainment Simple appeals ceived as inappropriate by the ing drum fills and charging bassline. moms and dads. Smart move. Unfortunately, time the kids, and almost Being in a relatively unknown equally After all, without mom and dad constraints limited their set to band can make drawing a crowd providing the allowance, how only twenty minutes. to the ones to a show a difficult task, even importantly, dishing Winter would they sell CDs? Equinox are a rela- After when it's your hometown. a In the Plan band the allowances short, Simple con- tively new to Waterloo, but out few shows, your family and it have their share cert was everything was meant played of shows, friends to stop coming every gig, to be. It appealed perfectly to the though mostly in Toronto. Their CHRISTIE WILHELM ished and on word presence that stole the you actually depend band's main audience Tortoise and Manitoba Cord Entertainment while (or hearts from of mouth to draw a crowd. One away every young I showing careful awareness of the Caribou should say) influenced the solution is to team with other girl on floor. Bouvier and bass up in set consisted of Do remember what it's like parents standing the back of post-rock com- you local bands to harness the player David Desrosiers had an power the to be 12 hall. For those of us over thir- plex songs which left the individ- years old? Nobody of combined fan bases. and enthusiasm that your energy ual it was a bit members understands are teen, disappointing. constantly chang- you, your parents Such was the that drew quickly translated into a feverous plan Sing it instruments lame and you'd do for How did leave me feeling? Old. ing and positions in anything crowd. That Yell That (Stratford), Long past my hormonal Spell the the middle of as used approval of your friends. If songs they youth, I didn't quite catch the Winter Equinox (Waterloo and a wide variety of sounds to create you've already forgotten this tur- and The Silent excitement that rose in the Dundas), Film bulent time in their music. They're probably your life, you Soundtrack to the younger audience members' (Waterloo), should out and one of the few post-rock bands go buy Simple hearts. Grad House at the of The boy-crazed girls may University there Plan's album No Pads, No out to not have an actual have been blinded by the band's Waterloo on Thursday night. in the band. Helmets...Just Balls. guitarist but for "It's difficult to find decent boyish good looks, me, The Silent Film Soundtrack On Tuesday evening, Simple their performance lacked impulse places to play in Waterloo, so Plan was the draw graced the stage at undoubtedly top and a bunch of local bands emotion. Sure they had ener- getting for Their Element's Club in down- the night. fans made Night makes it easier to draw gy, and they had excitement, but together a themselves town Kitchener. apparent as soon as They performed crowd and it lets each band's it all came off as carefully to a the band started crowd that was tuning up by get- mainly girls fans to know other local planned and thought through as get from their tables under the of thirteen. The ting up and age bands," said Brad drum- though it were merely an act. Weber, in the middle of the group's appeal to this standing young mer and in Winter What happened to the raw emo- guitarist At the their crowd was in room. first song, apparent every tion and rebellion of punk? Equinox. aspect of their performance. drummer attempted to stand on They I've had the of see- Which brifigs me to this term, pleasure dressed his bass drum while the part of punk rockers drumming 'punk'. Simple Plan's perform- ing Sing That Yell That Spell to the bare on the ceiling, only to lose bal- minimum, lacking the and I ance was clean and well execut- before, come away and typical tattoos and ance knock his kit piercings that time. every ed, defying the very essence of impressed every Consisting are which But their so despised by the older way. energy was gen- lot of of three talented what punk music is. Like a immensely erations while unabated and the angular indie sporting moderate- their recent Blink 182 music, Simple musicians, hardcore jazz- rock ly rebellious hair-dos they produced kept combined the with every- Plan's sound would be better punk ripped up room with all the latest Result? Contributed Photo one happy. styles. what can best be described as classified as pop music with a a Mothers and fathers and Information on further shows approve beat (kind of like Backstreet complete mess of noise. It was a kids punk still think the band (including those in Waterloo) for is rebel- of Boys with guitars). Like their Simple Plan's Pierre Bouvier: wonderfully challenging mess lious and cool. all bands can be found at their He's addicted to you...and 12 noise, a reversed ambi- appearance, their sound gives including On websites, all of which are at the stage, lead Pierre old are addicted to singer that girls ent guitar and a sax- them an edge appeals to the year part looped Bouvier band's name followed had a smooth and pol- him. by .com. 22 Entertainment

Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

Team America: World Police death match

Bruckheimer blockbuster, and at Brian Camozzi calls Skelton derides its reliance it Fahrenheit on there is one point even a song over-used ideas and offensive called "Pearl Harbor Sucked and 9/11 times a thousand stupidity I Miss You/'

Still, the idea of doing a Middle East and discover their isn't there anymore. Bruckheimer action film with evil plans in time to foil them. Team America has already marionettes isn't to after really enough Only some of the world's been praised in many circles as a sustain feature length, and most monuments precious are deft and racy satire of both ideo- end Parker/Stone droning on devastated collat- up completely as logical viewpoints of the War on for about an hour after we've got- eral on the of Team damage part Tenor, but I think a distinction ten the point that Bruckheimer's America, the true mastermind of must be made here between satire movies suck. evil This, unfortunately, an plan for world domination and mockery. has become a trademark of is revealed. Satire uses humour to expose Parker/Stone's approach - to fill The scale incredible use of as the folly of others, while mockery their work with cheap shots and a source of humour throughout is just the contemptuous ridicul- increasingly wheezy running the film is classic - especially ing of a subject. Parker and Stone What's more, are total- when the gags. they lead puppet, Gary readily spoof the notion that it is unable think outside their BRIAN CAMOZZI BRAD ly to Johnston finds under SKELTON himself the America's duty to act as world Cord Entertainment Staff Writer old methods: Saddam Hussein weather after but hitting rock bottom police, they also seem intent has been their whipping boy for in a He those dirty pub alleyway. man- on humiliating who protest America: World There are certain but comedy rou- now they use Kim Jong what be years, ages to eject might a nor- America's actions on the world TeamPolice is a and tines that wear thin more deep captivat- quickly II; they throw in songs that are mal to excessive amount of vomit The that love stage. message politics ing story culminating in a than others, and this is particular- poorly written but "hilariously" for an average-sized human being are nothing more than an elabo- tasteful yet provocative sex scene ly true of comedians who resort crude; have from they celebrity a marionette-sized body. rate puppet show is apparent, but don't have shock tactics. There that (they actually "parts" to are only cameos are not actually The film's soundtrack is their insights go no deeper than Wait, what am I so times this shtick you see). talking many can sur- voiced by the people they portray, favourite equally satisfying, my that. about? The film and was vulgar prise us before it becomes repeti- and of course there are the jokes score Fuck do have being "America, They not appear to a offensive... I loved it. tive and obvious. about other aspects of popular Yeah" and its dramatic counter- position about America's current With the title cred- Parker exploding Trey and Matt Stone culture, such as the stupidity of part "America, Fuck Yeah foreign policies or the political its of a American block- have had influence typical an enormous Pearl Harbor, or a parody of the (Bummer Remix)." atmosphere this has inspired in buster action film, it's clear from over a great many people of our Broadway musical Rent in which Just when you thought you the rest of the world; indeed, they the that what beginning we're in generation with the show South the star sings a tasteless closing old for toilet were too humour, don't appear to care about any- store for is wave after wave of Park, but Team America proves number where he repeats the something like this comes along thing at all, and so they exude satire spoof leaving no stone they have no new ideas; in fact, word AIDS over and over. and out inner child. brings your nothing but an attitude of glib unturned. almost their film looks Well, no stone new as though So even though there are The bottom line is if insult you superiority as they every- unturned. they took a number of jokes that funny moments peppered this do haven't yet seen film, so. one they possibly can. How fitting it would have already played well in their TV throughout Team America, there And bring friends. You won't feel However, some of the victims been to feature this November's show and then re-enacted those is level of conde- an overriding ashamed about so what you are of the Parker/Stone tongue-lash- American election candidates as jokes with puppets. The gross-out scension and that is when the smugness laughing at you are not ing are admittedly worthy of however Curious marionettes, humour and adolescent sex gags just about unbearable. Parker and only one. scorn: the film's tone, dialogue and the still of the George Purple-Hearted are a requisite part rou- Stone don't even bother trying to and visual design ruthlessly par- do make but the freshness Kerry not an appearance tine, simply ridicule their subjects in an intel- rot your average Jerry in the film. For those who are dis- because that would ligent way be

heartened this, fear as much like by not, too making a real film, there are plenty of targets for the which is hard work. No, they'd Team arse whoopin' America rather poke fun at the stupidity of delivers. Not the least of these is dictators, patriots, jingoists, reac- the infamous and misquoting tionaries, bleeding-heart liberals, mischievous Michael Moore who or else who believes in anyone is disposed of in the most satisfy- anything, and thus feel safe and ing manner. There were times superior because they've had the when friends and I leaned for- wit my to expose these clowns.

ward, our chests clutching from The people targeted by this the sheer pain of continuous movie be but may not right, at I laughter. hope we didn't miss least they have beliefs that they too much of the film. feel strongly enough about to

Gary Johnston (Trey Parker), want to share, and all the while

our protagonist and up-and-com- Parker and Stone sit in their base-

ing Broadway actor, gets recruit- ments writing dirty jokes and ed by the elite American counter- playing with puppets. terrorist force "Team America,"

Contributed Photo to infiltrate a terrorist cell in the

Puppets on a mission to save the world in Trey Parker and Matt Stone's Team America: World Police

The Top 5 Forgotten better left that way Songs... went after the If the through, something terribly, many loud, unexpected you're kind of person

the is terribly wrong. on-screen events which caused who thinks journey more that make me sad The movie tells the story of me to jump 6 feet out of my seat). important than the destination,

Paretta All of this set for this Telly (Julianne Moore), a me up a clever, might be a movie for you. yet I refuse to mother who is But if like ostensibly grap- psychological-twist ending. you're most people, stop listening to pling with the death of her nine I was greatly disappointed. and can't stand terrible movie

I don't the that them year old son. But there's a twist! want to give end- endings leave more questions hus- I will relate Cut to her psychiatrist and ing away, so simply unanswered than answered, stay band her that she telling never the following illustrative anec- away from The Forgotten. 5. and Sara- had So she's When where Tegan a son. not grieving, dote. we could sense

she's just crazy, right? the movie was heading, my friend Where Does the Good ends Wrong. Eventually the audi- said, "If the movie [in such Go and such I'm ence discovers that she's telling a way] going to be CARLY BEATH what do the truth, and the people telling pissed!" So you think Entertainment Editor 4. Ani Difranco- her otherwise are all part of some happened? Yep, the movie ended School giant conspiracy. She teams in such and such a way. Night The following is a list of things I up

with a former who There are a lot of actors could have done in the two hours hockey player, great wasted in this but the is the father of a girl who was in movie, on 3. I spent watching The Forgotten S Bright Eyes-Lover the crash other hand do the that would have been same plane as Telly's they provide more pro- ! I Don't Have to Love

son. to movie's asset. Moore, ductive and less painful: Together they attempt greatest the horrendous scheme. Gary Sinise and Anthony Schoolwork, guitar playing, knit- expose 2. Be Good Tanyas- At this point things were fine. Edwards are the primary exam- ting, ramming my head repeated- in the Past The movie was of this. Moore first the Only ly into a wall. semi-intelligent, ples plays of mother save for a few sepia-toned a grieving to a T, For a while I thought I was cheesy part

with flashback scenes. It had enough then easily convinces us she is a Contributed Photo 1. Death Cab for going to come away a to with decent of this movie. But keep me, certifiable lunatic. She is a highly opinion suspense my Telly Paretta and her sometimes Cutie- Tiny Vessels three second attention on believable character in a around three-quarters of the span, highly real, sometimes non-existent way Beath the -Carly edge of my seat (except for unbelievable story. son. Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Entertainment 23

first Jin's single, as this song has EarCANDY radio-play written all over it. Lee's x-rated On the second half of the Tony

album, aside from the new single "Senorita", Jin gets more person- entertainment al with his songs. On "The Good,

enemies for seven straight weeks the Bad, and the Ugly" and KATE HILLYAR let alone in on the "Freestyle Fridays" battle "Cold Outside", Jin documents bedroom, public. In Cord Entertainment BET's "106 addition to the usual on & Park" program his real-life New York re-enact- of in 2002, the then 19-year-old MC that ments oral sex and Chinatown gang drama orgasms, Once again, famed XXX hypno- Lee became the first Asian to had a of rapper reached a climax last year when group hypnotized tist Tony Lee brought Laurier stu- be males a signed to a major record label his friend took a bullet in the perform special striptease to dents their knees, whether it members (Ruff Ryders), which DMX, back for him. for two audience who fits was in of laughter or quite lit- Jadakiss and Eve to. The album had recently celebrated their belong then gets even all fours. erally on Jin had been hard "Love birthdays. But to third working on more personal on Song", a according On in the Monday night student Ashlee his debut album ever since the softhearted tale of interracial year Ponting, "the Turret, Lee entertained and was an best of the show was defi- signing, and slated for love between an Asian male and part astounded a packed audience in a March when Lee had one lick 23, 2004 release. a black female. "C'mon" show- nitely guy two hour show. Although the the album cream off various However, was pushed cases Jin's focused lyricism, as whipped body $7.50 ticket not have might got- of male A-Team back several times until the even- his in parts a volun- he explains purpose rap: ten you a seat, it was well worth it tual 2004 release date. the I teer!" The show even included Along "So chose to be one to change Lee's just to hear hilarious com- Jin has been North some way, touring the face of the game/Look at me! well-encouraged heckling as well as witnessing and landed mentary, of WLUSU President Steve America a high-pro- Hot as California burning in the and humiliation manipulation Welker. file role as a car mechanic in 2 flames." of fellow students. Although I, for Lee 2 "Tony is a sure bet; Fast Furious. "Same Cry" is another great you one, am much too chicken to vol- show of While his debut effort is far piece of work which starts off always get a good out unteer for such a show, Lee had from the Ruff him, even it is a bit more terrible, attempt by with a tribute to the Tiananmen though no problem finding vol- make Jin to the enough remarked Mike Howell, Ryders to appeal Square protesters and ends up risky," unteers to fill the seats on stage. A-Team coordinator. the mainstream holds back his lyri- being Jin's spirited delivery on Despite After a quick stint of playing cal content. After the intro skit behalf of the Asian American risk, Laurier students weren't matchmaker with the audience, to Ruff afraid to let their inhibitions which details his signing community: "Think we open go he proceeded to hypnotize those Jin and and down and - if Ryders, shakes off critics restaurants because we cook get dirty even on stage to recreate various sce- haters "Here Now" and the some be boxer on good?/Hell no! We ain't got no may wearing of which narios, some most peo- relentless "Get Your Handz Off', shorts on their heads for the rest choice/I gotta speak up/Without would be embarrassed ple to per- I'm and what?" which features Ruff have voice." of the week. "Yeah! Chinese, Ryders pro- me, my people no form in the privacy of their own This is what Jin exclaims in the ducer Swizz Beatz. One of my Jin then ends off with 'Thank

tracks is beginning of his Wyclef-assisted favourite on the album You", a track showing his grati- first single, "Learn Chinese". In "The Come Thru", featuring the tude to his supporters and the Guinness record holder for the the hip-hop game where black longest song on the album. Volunteer with The Friends fastest Twista. Jin Program artists dominate, the cocky rapper, speeds Overall, this is a solid debut

Chinese-American Jin (born Jin his flow to match Twista's album to introduce Jin to the up Volunteer a few hours weekly during the school day and make the MCs Au-Yeung) to make signature delivery as masses. However, there is defi- life difference child.Volunteers manages a long to a are matched by the than the radar. to the ladies for more a blip on exchange messages nitely more room improve- Canadian Mental Health Association with children who need The of Chinese in the club. in his Once Jin son immigrants, ment lyrics. fully additional school. Friends support at operates in partnership Jin born and raised in Before Jin starts to take con- utilizes his he was lyrical talent, with the local school boards and children 4-15 helps years. Miami, Florida. Before Jin's rise trol of the album, we are met could technically become the to stardom, he helped deliver with the Kanye West-produced official spokesperson for Asians Call 744-7645 ext 317 Chinese food for his parents' "I Got a Love" near the halfway in North America. m* Ah. ... * ...... 4* m> f>\ om* # m . After This been .<»• f ■■y"? l '-. restaurant. his should've -Leo Yu "'2: ' '-i . i H M crushing point. song -.;V... "ft' v ■wwiSi-sriwi*! t© ft ft fr 11 W ft '-«£> a * 1

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| I iiihiiii—J x 24 Arts Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly

Silver platter full ofMusic at Noon

According to Borys, Gryphon Trio serves up delicious smorgasbord of Constantinople explores cul- tures coming together and the

Beethoven and tensions and that Hatzis pieces during last Tuesday's possibilities music and art explore. Music at Noon in Forrester Hall is performance The overwhelming sound

something I am not sure how to ence. music means, it doesn't matter, Caitlin Howlett explain in technical terms. If the Allegro con brio certainly because it still sends chills music were edible, it would have exhibited the aforementioned throughout your body. been described as simply deli- between and calm- Mesmerized the cascade of contrast anger by cious. There was a familiarity the I ness, sending an unpredictable notes on piano suddenly Editor-in-Chief about the music. Had I heard it storm of sound into the hall. It became annoyed that I had to this before, or was simply just

said three's a was the kind of music that makes furiously take notes - I wanted like Whoever something so good, it sounds crowd was sorely mistak- one picture a disheveled conduc- nothing more than to put my pen you've heard it somewhere else could in en. tor wildly conducting an orches- down, recline as best I the instance a part of the move- and listen. Listen. Laurier's Maureen Forrester tra by wildly waving a baton. the hall seat ment is repeated? Recital Hall played host to yet Emotion from all three musicians And for a brief time, I did just Constantinople instantly that. another lunch of music was profound, but it was yesterday, quite favourite. became my new who stood his When the music the with the Faculty of Music's pres- Borys out amongst stopped, No one checks their watch in The in the in the suit beside entation of Gryphon Trio, colleagues. Engrossed con- gentleman me like this. a performance turned his and said one of North America's premier trast of the sound himself, Borys to companion There chamber ensembles who has been life to the flow of music not "simply remarkable." was gave Editor's Note: little else could touring for 11 With Jamie simply through his cello playing very someone years. Constantinople, the full 90 have said the treat that Parker on piano, Annalee but also though his facial to sum up expres- hour presentation that on violin and sions. had been hand-delivered to my Patipatanakoon includes vocalists Patricia else's for that Roman Borys on cello, the trio However, this truly was a trio ears, or anyone O'Callaghan and Maryem Laurier I heard the Contributed Photo members of the - combination of matter, this Tuesday at noon. delighted Hassan Tollar, will have its with the works instruments not when I it community of as one and so Just thought was The Roman Toronto premiere November Gryphon Trio: Borys, and Not five min- that Beethoven Hatzis. independent. even impossible to top perform- Jamie Parker and Annalee 10-13, 2004 at the Premiere "I the decked like utes in, I thought to myself, ance, Borys introduced Patipatanakoon, out Dance Theatre, Harbourfront of With the Beatles. when Dictators from the cover need this on CD." And the Dance of the Not even five minutes Centre. Tickets are now avail- movement ended, all I could utter Constantinople; a commis- in, I thought to able from the Harbourfront "wow." from Canadian com- was sioned piece this Box Office: (416) 973-4000. myself, "I want written for The trio of Parker, poser Christos Hatzis, on CD." And when Patipatanakoon and Borys is piano trio and two singers.

the movement ended, named after a mythical creature;

a combination of half-lion and all I could utter was half eagle that is a guardian of Political Coffeehouse tackles "wow." WLU, treasures and a symbol of the connection between the psychic

Piano Trio in C minor, No and cosmic force. All and energy fragrances accessibility 1 the three members the 3, Op. was true to warning teach at provided by Parker, who said •University of Toronto's Faculty Music and also conduct there is a sense of drama and fury of master

with much chamber coach- and used to be more based, in the movements classes, music NDP executive WLU History naturally

contrast the and but most of the between anger and ings, composition workshops now fragrances student talks last the delicate side of the music. presentations. give Monday are chemically created.

The full house had and Andante Such chemicals have toxic a quick laugh Quiet slow,

on the and some- as Parker sat down and realized cantabile con Variazioni BRITTANY LAVERY hands of Laurier admissions. effects body

reminded of music would Staff Writer until times several do not he had left his keys in his pocket, me you Since he was not diagnosed ingredients mix well with each other. which he took out and placed on hear playing softly in the back- after high school graduation, floor beside his an unfortunately sparse Cehovin herself suffers from the bench. He ground at a garden wedding. And Despite Brown's grades suffered as a the Political Coffeehouse smiled the audi- while don't know the turnout, of his due to aromatic mischievously at you what result disability and the migraines prod-

on Monday, October 18 can only and headaches not the lack of help he received. Despite ucts, are

be described as a success. The chemicals travelling around the world as a only result of the lack of attendance was undoubt- most part of a Canadian youth pro- involved in peoples' daily

edly due to poor advertising, as music routines. disorders that gram, organizing a therapy Many the posters detailing event were for have been diag- Why you stuck-up, half-witted, program alcoholics, writing people recently on the of the cof- only put up day such nosed with are linked to chemi- nerf herder! papers on subjects, working scruffy-looking feehouse. Adria Speakers with the local NDP and the cals most people use. ADHD,

Cehovin and Bill Brown never- Independent Working Centre, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and

theless delivered an engaging, Wilfrid Laurier still from Why aren't writing for Cord University recurring pain previous you informative and eye-opening be would not admit Brown as a stu- injuries or disabilities can

Arts? on sociocultural taken presentation dent. His Aspergers' was caused by exposure to ordinary issues of accessibility. like and hand into account as well as his con- things shampoo

The discussion, titled but siderably stacked resume, it cream. Cord Arts is for Culture and the bloody desperate "Accessibility: apparently wasn't good enough According to Cehovin's twofold. Physical World", was admissions. This research, about 5000 chemicals writers interested in art for Laurier is covering of staff the Brown, a member at of the in be used in items for just one example ways can everyday music concerts. Centre in exhibits and Laurier Independent Working which society is not accessible consumption. And it's not that the

Waterloo and an executive of the smell either. In for everyone, Brown said. products bad, local of the NDP, headed chapter fact, many have a very pleasant

To write for e-mail the first half of the presenta- odour. The chemicals that us, up gener- The chemicals that tion issues in the on accessibility ate the fragrance, however, are cor [email protected] physical world. generate fragrances what soak into the bloodstream

Brown's concerned topic was soak into the the and brain, causing damage to the with that arise for dis- problems bloodstream and the nervous system.

abled in our communities. people Unfortunately, awareness of a brain, causing Our culture is one that is centred problem comes too late, such as he to the around more "abled" people, damage when leave ira I people are forced to and those with mental or nervous argues, system. classrooms and public events # have physical disabilities do not because wjp of migraines or other

access to the same as where k programs The other half of the presenta- health issues, and this is do those without them. Even inaccessi- tion was given by Adria Cehovin, society has made itself most large corporations though a history student at Laurier. Her ble for those who have reactions. smaller and even businesses or focus the This is because the was on "culture" part of largely prod-

centres seem to make community the talk, and she spoke about the ucts mentioned do not list all of of how a point demonstrating obsession the West has with the chemicals added —the flimsy

accessible their facilities are for scented products. Cehovin excuse being that there are sim- the disabled, these organizations it is hard declared that it is almost impossi- ply too many to list. But fall devastatingly short of basic for make in ble to buy any sort of shampoo, people to a change accessibility standards. laun- their lives if this does hair spray, gel, body lotion, problem

As a student with Aspergers' It dry detergent or fabric softener not affect them, Cehovin says. of one of the forms is education and the Syndrome, without a scent, and we don't only through

autism in which one is most able that realize how damaging these raising of awareness a Han Solo asks: "Who's scruffy lookin' at?" to function, Brown himself smells can be. Beauty products change will occur. encountered discrimination at the Wednesday October 27, 2004 » The Cord Weekly Arts 25

all Cliffnotes: Arts events Al-Jazeera right by new from the edge... of K-W documentary on war Iraq Ceramic relativism Steamboy, the most expensive It's All Relative, an exhibition animated film ever made in

oric and it feels like a more bias, of ceramic works Room follows by Anong, Japan, and a rare public screen- Control Arab truthful and balanced flick than Ann and Carl Beam, will be on ing of the 1983 cult-classic, Fahrenheit, yet it does not stay television network's to display in the Canadian Clay & Rock & Rule. For information attempt with you as long as Fahrenheit Glass Gallery until January 3, regarding screening times, tick- does. objectively on the War in 2005. The gallery is located at ets and locations, visit report Much of the action is centred 25 Caroline Street North, in www.wfac.ca. the U.S. Central Command US not to on Waterloo. Iraq, despite tendency which the headquarters, was Hot bless patootie, my soul! media hub for the It is toll it will have the Iraq war. on Iraqi peo- With a name like "Studies", The Princess Cinema will hold Yet their there where the majority of philo- ple. despite personal who wouldn't want to go? its annual Rocky Horror feelings, the Al-Jazeera sophical discussions between Al- employ- The exhibition "Etudes/Studies" Picture Show Halloween on Jazeera and U.S. mili-~ ees to an view reporters will be in the try paint objective on display October 31. Screenings are at 9 take The of the war for their Arab audi- tary spokesmen place. Canadian Clay & Glass Gallery and 11:15pm. You all thought I film listens-in dis- particularly on ence. until January 3, 2005. Featured would write the cheesy headline The difficulties cussions between Lt. Josh they in the exhibition are drawings "Let's Do the Time Warp encounter while this make Rushing, a U.S. Marine doing by Isabella Stefanescu and Again," didn't you? And you're bulk of the The spokesperson, and an Al-Jazeera up the movie. sculptures by Karen Fletcher. right, I'm not above it. named Hassan Ibrahim. American government is clearly producer Remember in Beetlejuice when is staunch of shown to believe that Al-Jazeera Rushing a supporter the sculptures came alive? Writing is for wusses the but is to listen to is to incite violence and war, willing trying it won't Just a reminder to all Sorry, probably happen you play- anti-American sentiment. Yet in Ibrahim's views. a here. wrights out there, the deadline Williams the end of The film shows these discus- Tyler poignant moment at for scripts to be performed in sions as a to deconstruct the the film, Samir an way Khader, engag- Animania!!! this Spring's Fringe! Festival is Bush Administration's and articulate for A claims ing producer 1 The Waterloo Festival for November 1. So hurry home and that Al-Jazeera is Jazeera, admits that if Fox News simply a Animated Cinema from runs finish up. Me, I'm busy writing Staff Writer him he would for Osama Bin ever offered a job, mouthpiece October 27 the 30. The through a play about how jealous I am of Laden. from take it to allow his children to Correspondents festival with the Room is another doc- opens premiere all of you who found the time to American networks such as NBC "exchange the Arab nightmare of the sci-fi thriller write Controlumentary dealing with the Appleseed. scripts. and CNN are also shown for the American dream". trying Other include war in Iraq that hit the big screen highlights to convey accurate information to in the past year. Much like the their audience, though they col- louder and blunter Fahrenheit The of lectively lose it when a military anti- toppling 9/11, it takes a decidedly holds the famous Hussein's statue was spokesman up American spin on the war. deck of card with Iraq's 'most Control Room chronicles the a staged event, wanted' on it, and then refuses to Arab television network Al- initiated by the U.S. allow the reporters to see it. Jazeera and its efforts to the cover and occupation The audience also gets a sense war in Iraq to the best of their bought into by the that many of the Al-Jazeera ability. The documentary also U.S. media. reporters are disappointed rather shows us incisive footage of U.S. than with the angry American Army press briefings and heart- of The deals less government. During one these breaking footage of the front documentary the "Who's with the actual war than with the discussions, question lines in Iraq. Through a series of to the Americans?" is perceptions of the war. Al-Jazeera going stop candid interviews with Al- Cord A The Arab "The rts K:- + to to the posed. response? Jazeera network executives and reporters try explain how their United States is going to the American press officers stop Contest! reporters, the audience is shown Poetry I J? invasion is being perceived by United States. have absolute an insider's perspective on how in the U.S. the Arab world. The documentary confidence an Arab television network is run. Constitution and the U.S. Have seems content to listen in peo- your poetry || It is clear from the beginning simply to the ple." BMW' of the movie conversations that swirl arbitrarily judged by people that many of the Another small flaw with the " around the camera. It is much at Student Publications and wdfih reporters and executives are ||| than Fahrenheit film is the sheer number of dis- the more low-key win a that our opposed to war. Many com- prize budget 9/11 and that works both for and cussions, characters and events. B|| ments are made of the pointless- The audience feels a little over- the and against it. Because it does not ness of war of the grim whelmed and the film bit bash you over the head with rhet- seems a cluttered.

It is to the film's favour, how-

that ever, even though there has

been a massive influx of docu-

mentaries dealing with the war,

facts to some interesting manage Send submissions to: the TV pop up. Remember scene [email protected] Truth about this when joyous Iraqis toppled the

statue of Saddam Hussein after S deal Deadline for submissions is kitty-Celt the capture of Baghdad? TV pic- November 24, 2004! SOOn! tures on the monitors at CentCom COllling

see American clearly something P.S. Its name is Mittens.

audiences were not shown: the

square was not filled with cheer- but ing citizens, was completely empty, except for the small band TNE of young men who toppled the MOTORCYCLES:? statue. Ai Jazeera producers watch the footage with their U.S. Che GueVara "Thoroughly DIARIFQ counterparts and observe that entertaining and deeply SFulB SLU those who are interviewed "do moving.* vital starts October 29th not have Baghdad accents." They L ..^.. wonder historical document why one "happened to | have the old Iraqi flag in his with something JHr pocket." The implication: this inip < > r mt ! s; i was a staged event, initiated by the U.S. occupation and bought into by the U.S. media.

the Overall, film, although a

bit and too busy low-key, man- rise above ages to much of the political rhetoric that exists and

presents a balanced and riveting

of an Arab portrayal news net- work that of many us do not

know of. The characters are real

their and struggles to present the best coverage they can for their

Contributed Photo audience is gripping. Control Room pLc«« fIiFM4 • ran at the Princess Cinema last weekend. Am I the www princessanema.com 6 street w?« 2950 pi?r vrv cc | ir«jtgg**BSgl only one who noticed that Located in Waterloo these people have more TVs than Elvis? Uptown 26 Fun o' - Page Wednesday October 27, 2004 The Cord Weekly

Today's Crossword Across: Down: I. Norse god of death 1. Do you ?

4. Feline 2. Baseball stat By Fraser King National 8. What pirates sail on 3.

11. Person from Arabia 5 & Allies

13. A city ot south-central China 7. Increases reception

14. Halloween ancestor 8. theatrical character

16. What actors do 9. to his/her own ,

17. Not tail 10. nervous feeling

18. Horse sounds 15. Jack

What coffins with 20. Things that flux 18. are closed

22. Sugary treat 19. wedding saying [two words]

23. Whip, beat 20. back, on a boat

of the 24. Spiderman villain 21. 12th month year in the Jewish calendar 26. Inhabitant of Tunisia 22. garrote, strangle 27. Like a violin 24. type of bean poison 28. Grain alcohol 25 drops, cool DN3d level 30. Multiple Nicholases 27. French poetry form 31. Bassist of Red Hot Chili Peppers 28. embers 33. What Halloween is What the are doing

29. Old school "no" 34. No guts, no 30. One of Poseidon's tools 35. Quicken, speed up 31. 37. Cats do this Kerry Flip-

32. The and the Darkness 38. Light warriors carry these 33. Wiccan ritual 39. Nosferatu

34 and the Misfits 42. What a pirate is

36. a place 43. Frozen water vapor

37. Female horse 44. Tattoo, slang 39. Heals animals 45. Golf object 40. Feud 46 -willickers 41. Female goat

6. Component of bronze

Last Week's Answers!

SADISTIC GAMER

By Andrew Craig

Weekly Bad Drawing By Pete Cram Wednesday October 27, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Classifieds*27 ___

Adventure! — IJ Students These wurdz: my I —| C en lsfl overseas. Jobs $$ will check for 9. guar. your paper spelling, grammar, Muchas Gracias to who us Tcc r!i I everyone helped Rl IV A TESOL certified, 5 in class, online Volunteer with the Friends Program days cor- punctuation, common word misuse, num- get to double digits with the 10th issue of the FREE info few hours the respondence. pack. 1-888-270- and For Ananthan for Volunteer a weekly during bers,capitalization bibliography. year, Scraborough-izing the , accic i cr r> school dav and make life-lonq difference to 2941.globaltesol.com more information, call at 893-1777 Rames for this week a Carolyn skyboxes, showing up Volunteers are matched the or email me at and on the o' the PA a child. by . ~7~~ [email protected] working page toil, girls Hiring at Phil's STUDENTS: Canadian Mental Health Association with for a solid effort, Editors for being great yet Coat check and doorstaff, children who need additional support at exciting corporate |Jq again and having a bitchin' social last week, Interested in experience. candidates should Erin for for school. FRIENDS operates partnership thoughtfully scaring me, Bryn $5 FOR 30 WORDS OR LESS boards and children rln 9 resumes to Phil's on October 29 his The Toronto with local school helps 4 Friday, sticking by eye, Star for between 2:30 and 15 Call 744-7645 ext. 317. s:oopm. Hit! crtitical and to years. Happy Birthday being constructively having great Non-STI inFMTQ-

" Just wanted to wish in for didn't you a happy birthday food, Ashley waking me up so I Part-Time Job Find Ontario a way that no one has before. Hope this miss the conference, the in the office for Child boyz

aft m but call hours, - e °on on some evening I heart exams one done stay from MFRH $399 per room (utilities included) 2 fridqes away Stefan), week ends de caffeine alary negC ov V o"' u cam ar| y 9 ear U P for K-°S Br n and Brandon stove, dishwashr, microwave, washer, dryer nnn? T £ '2 J ' ? Y° f ? ' V lQ D f ; moreM rates available tlable Prese call 575-9092, or email: through for me at the last minute, like usual. for so late Toronto Star twas Central air TV/DVD wireless internet phone - staying again, i ak about Finance and Available e@Benjaminsßealty.com Karen, sorry Hammy. an eye-opening experience, and her in each room. Jan. 1. $399 for 8 Pinchy Thank sneeze* call 884-07 IO 3560 $450 you rain, huge many ailments, Cote for taking a break from x months or for 4 months (includes utili- 7T7"7 Christmas Gift Wrappers first deserve for Garage available for $25/month. place (you really it), Bryan a ties). Creative locations - individuals, Downtown 'great football article, April and Fraser for - North Richmond Toronto, York, Hill, Cute a Thornhill, library girl, yet slow news week into —————— again turning p— Thanks for Mississauga, Brampton. Managers to big-upping my articles, it made something exciting, Jennifer for that really 10.15/hour + bonuses. Wrappers to my otherwise crappy day. good question and Ortiz, Production and I Now Hiring $8.15/hour. Full/Part-time, December 1-24. Copy Editing (well done friends), Wilf's crowd ■ Kitchen staff for Mel s Diner. Please apply 416-533-9727 orwww.torontowraps.com Beleaguered Student at 2 am, Fine Arts TA, Red Bull (this is not with resume 140 University Avenue West natural), Mahn & Myles for the mini-break next to Loose Change Louis. Competitive this afternoon, Junior Mints, rabbit food, wages. 20th Chris Dinn & Happy Birthday, Stephen Hui and everyone else

~ ~ ~ ~ " Patrick Samson-Doel! Go it's ' Childcare Wanted shorty, your at CUP, Ma and Pa Howlett, Mikey (82% ain't I Customer Bilingual (Freeh-English) Part-time for bad if bed evenings, two school-aged chil- birthday! fool), Tine, my is gone and Service Representative dren jn Waterloo, references, 884-1572. replaced with the kitchen table I'll be happy, ' Part-time 20 hrs week. Process approx. per Vicstar cord else my loyal reader, everyone I insurance shifts $12 hr. claims, flexible, - per missed cheers from the baby owl, 10 down

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