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THE gaSeptember 23th,t 2015e Issue No.w 9 Volume 106 aGTWY.CA y

Outdoors Club Provides Affordable Escapes · 19

SU Unveils New Gender Policy · 6

Bring On New Sex Robots · 11 Beer Bracket · 12 news 2 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015

THEgateway visit us at gtwy.ca Meeting UAlberta Wednesday, September 23, 2015 Chloe Burns & Raina James Volume 106 Issue No. 9 arts I & arts II Published since November 21, 1910 Circulation 5,000 ISSN 0845-356X Suite 3-04 Students’ Union Building University of Alberta Edmonton, Alberta T6G 2J7 Telephone 780.492.5168 Fax 780.492.6665 Ad Inquiries 780.492.6669 Email [email protected] editorial staff editor-in-chief Cam Lewis [email protected] | 492.5168 managing editor Kieran Chrysler [email protected] online editor Kevin Schenk [email protected] news editor Richard Catangay-Liew [email protected] opinion editor Josh Greschner [email protected] arts & culture editor Jon Zilinski [email protected] sports editor Zach Borutski [email protected] multimedia editor Oumar Salifou [email protected] photo editor Christine Varvis [email protected] design & production editor Adaire Beatty [email protected] Staff Reporter Mitchell Sorensen [email protected]

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Priced out The Canadian Rental Housing Index has found that Alberta has the highest rental rate in the country. Kurt Bauschardt AB rent prices highest in Canada, how it affects students

Kate McInnes Committee, a student group which for example, are on average two of students have to consider it in their effort into affordable housing, but News staff @Katemcguineapig provides insight to the role of the the top 10 highest rent communi- budget, the annual increases have a big part of that goes into your real estate industry in life, business ties in Canada. not been substantial enough to personal budgeting as well,” Rong When it comes to renting an apart- and the community, doesn’t find Since 2009, Alberta has seen a warrant immediate concern said. ment, there’s no Alberta advan- this surprising. 60 per cent increase in the amount “Of course, the apartment rentals “I think the U of A does a pretty tage. “When you look at Alberta, you of loans granted to post-secondary around the university are really ex- good job with (teaching) how to cre- A recent report from the Canadi- have to look at (many) other mar- students, as reported by media re- pensive,” Rong said. “You’re looking ate a stable budget.” an Rental Housing Index found that kets, Edmonton and Calgary are ports earlier this year. at around $1,600 to over $2,000. Hannah Siu, a student at the Al- Alberta has the highest residential two big ones,” Rong said “(But) “(Students should) consider mov- berta School of Business who rents rental rates in the country. An aver- the rental rate for a two-bedroom ing a little further away. With the an apartment in Old Strathcona, age provincial rent of $1,249 for a apartment (in Fort McMurray) is “(Students should) new LRT line, it’s going to be a lot said she thought the U of A needs to two-bedroom apartment, coupled over $2,000, so when you take that consider moving a little more convenient for students.” improve its affordable off-campus with the fact that 18.8 per cent of into consideration, it’s not too sur- The U of A differs from many uni- housing options for students. households spend over 50 per cent prising.” further away.” versities in Canada in that it doesn’t “For students, there needs to be of their income on rent, has led the The index, which uses data col- Martin Rong have an official off-campus housing a platform where they can learn index to conclude that Alberta’s lected by Statistics Canada, high- President, U of A Real Estate Committee registry. Instead, students are re- what kind of options they have, es- real estate market is entering an lighted that the affordability hous- ferred to newspaper rental listings pecially students who are not from “affordability crisis.” ing crisis appears to be more acute When asked what the implica- and websites including Renting Edmonton,” Siu said. Martin Rong, the President of the in suburbs than in urban centres. tions of rental rise may be for U of Spaces, Kijiji and Craigslist. “There are definitely opportuni- University of Alberta’s Real Estate Strathcona County and St. Albert, A students, Rong said that though “I can see the U of A putting more ties — we just have to create them.” Researching global maternal health in low-income countries

Jamie Sarkonak system. midwives shared a few things in been done for a number of studies in program’s aim was to increase the Staff reporter @swagonak Zubia researches global maternal common: they were smart, they global maternal health. This kind of number of supervised births in ru- health to find ways to provide -ser were respectful towards whom they research gives the people a voice be- ral areas up from 44 per cent. Be- Maternal health is crucial for Paki- vices to marginalized, poor women were providing care, and they had cause of the researchers’ close con- fore 2006, over half of rural births stan, a country with one of the high- in low-income countries. The pro- a mind for business. They knew tact with the communities, Zubia proceeded without a trained profes- est levels of infant mortality in the gram works closely with govern- how to communicate in different said. This included interviews and sional on site. The CMW program world. ments to identify in what ways situations, but also connect with focus discussions with midwives has received plenty of funding, but A large part of good maternal gender and poverty affect maternal their communities. and community members, as well as implementation has been challeng- health is having births supervised health. Poverty, she found, was the shadowing midwives on the job. ing, Zubia said. This problem exists by a trained birth attendant: in key external factor in Pakistan. This In Pakistan, midwifery is con- partially because of the disconnect many cases, a midwife. The only study was researched from weeks of “Women of low sidered a “dirty” profession, which between what’s happening in gov- problem with this is the difficulty of living in communities, which gave socioeconomic status’ leads to difficulties in finding people ernment offices and what’s happen- implementing a system. Midwifery the subjects a voice, she said. to train as midwives. This is starting ing on the ground. programs are globally hit-and-miss, “(Women of low socioeconomic voices aren’t being to change, but still a process, Zubia “People have an idea of the way and a University of Alberta study status’) voices aren’t being heard,” heard.” said. Local women are trained to they think things should work, then trying to figure out what makes Zubia said. “Which is why this re- deliver babies, but aren’t required they write it out.,” Zubia said. these programs go one way or the search is useful.” Mumtaz zubia to. Many just train to receive the “They really don’t take into ac- Associate professor, school of public health other. Midwives need proper training stipend that is given to all CMWs. count the reality of the front line A recent study focused on ma- and support to establish themselves They made sure they were avail- Pakistan is a tough place to be a mid- worker who’s interacting with the ternal health in Pakistan, where provide services, Zubia said. She able when they were needed — wife, Zubia said. Maternal health is patient.” a system of community midwives found only eight of the 38 midwives which is essential for night-time typically dominated by physicians, Zubia’s program of research in (CMWs) has been implemented, were successful, meaning they es- births. From the business side, those and until recently midwifery wasn’t Global Maternal Health is ongoing. but has yet to be proven successful. tablished a practice within their that started clinics and partnered even acknowledged as a profession. Progress is happening, and part of Mumtaz Zubia, associate profes- community. This number was low, with other health professionals has “The next best thing is to provide a that comes from on-the-ground re- sor of Global Health at the U of A’s but the information those eight success in establishing themselves. skilled birth attendant,” Zubia said. search that gives rural communities School of Public Health, went to the CMWs still provided insight to the Research was done by living in Physicians are hard to appoint a voice, she said. communities themselves to study study. villages for months and collecting to low income areas, but births still “I just want women to have safe the successes of Pakistan’s CMW The study found successful data directly from the people, as has need to be supervised. The CMW childbirth,” Zubia said. news 4 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015 Air Force Week provides soaring history of U of A Mitch Sorensen Staff Reporter @sonofamitchh

Though Royal Canadian Air Force Week (RCAF) Week only lasted six days in Edmonton, the Air Force’s relationship with the city goes much further back. RCAF Week was celebrated throughout the city with a variety of events, which commemorated the near century-long history of Edmonton aviation. Several streets in North Edmonton were officially renamed in honour of local avia- tors and a new exhibit based on the Battle of Britain was introduced at the Alberta Aviation Museum. The week culminated with the unveil- ing of Ad Astra, a ten-metre high sculpture on Macrae Drive, which represents a “star burst,” an aero- batic manuvere performed by pi- lots at shows and designed to pay homage to Edmonton’s aviation history.

“Corbett Hall became the headquarters of an initial training school, which is where you were sky sculpture The Ad Astra installation on Macrae Drive pays homage to the history of the Royal Canadian Air Force’s history in Canada. mitch sorensen sent when you enlisted in the Second World War, and served university gym, which was even- record of the city’s airborne past so The last remaining plane of this the Air Force.” as a gateway to the north for air tually replaced with the Van Vliet important. class has recently been acquired travel in peacetime. Complex’s Main Gym in 1961. “It has a huge collection of arti- by the Alberta Aviation Museum, Rod Macleod “When the war comes along, “I started at the U of A in 1959, facts that are associated with the and fundraising has commenced Professor Emeritus, Department of history there is a very large recruitment ef- when (the Faculty of Physical early aviation history of Edmon- to ship it to Edmonton from New Rod Macleod, professor emeri- fort, and the RCAF took over part of Education and Recreation) was ton,” Macleod said. “It has a ton of Brunswick where it will be fully re- tus in the University of Alberta’s the campus,” Mcleod said. “Corbett still compulsory for (first-year stuff that is connected with all the stored. Department of History, said the Hall became the headquarters of students),” Macleod said, as he airborne operations.” Macleod said that initiatives like link between Edmonton and avia- an initial training school, which is recalled earlier times on campus. Beyond being the base of an air RCAF Week help keep Edmonton’s tion dates back until the end of the where you were sent when you en- “That meant running around in force unit for many years, Macleod aviation history in the public eye, First World War. Notable Canadian listed in the Air Force.” this hangar which was, to put it pointed to the importance of Ed- and that he hopes more people pilot Wop May was a student at the Once the war was over, the U of mildly, not well heated.” monton as a hub for mapping the will become familiar with the city’s university after returning from Eu- A became the base of a RCAF re- Despite the city’s rich aviation north after the war. A number of past. rope, and took the first aerial pho- serve squadron, but that wasn’t all history, Macleod said that many Avro Lancaster Bomber planes were “I think it’s important to know tographs of the campus in 1919. that was left over. A hangar was people are unaware of the role the converted into mapping planes, this history,” Macleod said. “If you The RCAF had a much clearer erected for use as a drill hall during RCAF played in Edmonton, which which mapped and photographed don’t, what makes this place differ- presence in the city at the start of the war, and afterwards became the makes Alberta Aviation Museum’s the Northern Canada. ent from any other?” Brown Bag Lunch readings bring Canlit all-stars to campus

Mitch Sorensen Jason Purcell, communications discussion of Canadian literature readers. People come in on their initiative comprised of authors, Staff reporter @sonofamitchh officer for the Canadian Literature outside of academia,” Purcell lunchbreak just to see an author academics and members of the Centre, said the Brown Bag series said. they like, which is really cool.” public, and is meant to foster From railway switchboards to fulfills the CLC’s non-academic “We certainly do want faculty The CLC, which is also both academic research and illegal-immigrant marathon run- mandate. and students to come to the talks, celebrating its 10th anniversary community enrichment in ners, Lawrence Hill can tell stories “We’re really trying to foster a but a lot of our audience is just this year, is a Canada-wide Canadian literature. about almost anything. “The U of A has so many talented Those are just some of the sto- writers in the ranks of its students ries being told at the University of and faculty,” Purcell said. Alberta in the next few weeks, as “I think the Brown Bags and four authors from different genres other things we do make (Canadi- and linguistic backgrounds are an literature) or the arts in general participating in the 10th annual a bit more visible.” Brown Bag Lunch Lecture Series In addition to the speaker series, hosted by the Canadian Literature the CLC publishes Eighteen Bridg- Centre. In their free talks, the au- es, a magazine which celebrates thors read from their newly pub- and publishes the work of local lished works. authors several times per year. Hill, whose novel Book of Ne- The CLC also runs student writing groes won the Rogers Writers’ contests on a regular basis. Trust Fiction Prize in 2007 for best All of these lead into the Kreisel novel or short story collection and Lecture, taking place later this the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize spring. The Kreisel Lecture is a for best book` in 2008, read from yearly keynote event that has been his new novel Illegal to a crowd of given in the past by Canadian lit- nearly 120 people in Rutherford erature heavyweights such as Hill, Library South on Sept. 11. Esi Edugyan, Joseph Boyden, and Ying Chen, a Chinese-Canadian Tomson Highway. This year, Mar- Francophone author, read at Cam- garet Atwood will give the talk. pus St. Jean on Sept. 16. Winner of For Purcell, the Brown Bag the Prix Quebec-Paris as well as Lunch series provides an oppor- the Prix Alfred-DesRochers, Chen tunity to explore Canadian Lit- read from her extensive collec- erature for students and everyday tion. people alike. Still upcoming are readings “I think there aren’t many plac- from Rosemary Sullivan on Oct. 21 es like this where you can have a and Ken Babstock on Nov. 18. Sul- small, intimate reading with some livan has been extensively award- of the biggest names in Canlit,” ed for her work in biography, and Purcell said. her new book, Stalin’s Daughter, “It’s fun to come, scope out the is on stands now. Babstock is a room, grab a coffee and cookie Newfoundland-born poet whose and listen to a reading for an hour. 2012 collection, Methodist Hatch- Also, it lets you meet people in a et, won the Griffin Poetry Prize. Lecture during lunch Author Lawrence Hill delivering a Brown Bag Lecture on Sept. 11, 2015 in Rutherford South. Supplied – Adrien Guyot way you normally might not.” thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 news 5

Register and vote at uAlberta

Ready to vote in the federal election? From October 5 to 8, Elections Canada offices will be open on campus to provide information, registration and voting for students before the October 19 election day. Bring ID with your home address. Neuroscience research takes steps forward with N.E.R.D Run

Yuetong Li Surgeons, neuroscientists, physicians News writer and physiotherapists are needed to care for those affected by the disorders, which Families and communities came together is why events such as the N.E.R.D. Run are to run and support neuroscience health re- necessary, Fouad said. search on Sept. 19. “There are too many families and cases The N.E.R.D (Neuroscience Education that we want to follow and the public needs Research Development) Run was organized to understand that we need their support to by the University of Alberta’s Neuroscience promote and conduct research,” Fouad said. and Mental Health Institute (NMHI) and co- “It will be a real challenge for us research- hosted by Multisports Canada at William ers to get funding from the government if Hawrelak Park. The third annual fundrais- the public doesn’t know the importance of ing event had a successful turnout with over neurological study as well.” 200 volunteers and runners participating. Christy Chong, a first year neuroscience “We aim to bring students, research- student at the U of A, volunteered for the ers, families altogether to run for brain re- N.E.R.D. Run as a way to reach out to the search,” Karim Fouad, director of basic re- community. search and operations of the NMHI, said. “Funding for brain research is really im- “We really want to break the barrier be- portant since there’s so much that we don’t tween people, that’s why we used the word know about and brain disease could happen ‘N.E.R.D.’ ‘Nerdy’ is a fun word now, it to anyone,” Chong said. brings the people into the event, brings the Saad Yousuf, a third-year PhD. student in fun in, people can dress up in their own way pain medicine anesthesiology said he was Nearest locations: to interpretive ‘Nerdy’. I think it will make running in the event because the money it easier for people to talk to each other at raised could lead to being one step closer the event.” to discovering new, effective forms of treat- Student Union Building Public participation and fundraising for ment. the N.E.R.D. Run contributes greatly to- Rebecca McCourt, a second-year Mas- Room 0-51 wards research, Fouad said. The researchers ter’s student in clinical stroke imaging also 8900 114th Street North West will be using the funds find treatments and participated in the run to raise awareness cures, he added.The three main areas stud- for mental health and neurological disor- ied by Fouad and the NMHI are the neurogi- ders. There’s so much neuroscience needs Lister Centre cal disorders Alzheimers, Parkinson’s and to learn, and the N.E.R.D. Run could help Multiple Sclerosis. Because the disorders them get there, she said. Aurora Room are so broad, not one single department “The brain is one big science research 11613 87th Avenue North West can cover all the problems associated with frontier,” McCourt said. “There’s more we them. don’t know about than we know about it.” Hours: 10:00 a.m.–�8:00 p.m.

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Running for research jonah Angeles

SVRE_ENG_AlbertaU.indd 1 2015-09-09 11:22 AM news 6 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015 SU unveils new gender policy campus Jamie Sarkonak Staff Reporter @swagonak crimebeat Non-binary students may not have COMPILED BY Richard Catangay-Liew people are willing to explore and to deal with the stress of disclosing if there is a crime that can be com- gender in university documenta- Break-and-enter bonanza mitted, they’ll commit it. tion for much longer. University of Alberta Protective “if we can remove that opportu- The Students’ Union passed their Services (UAPS) are advising the nity, then all the better.” new gender policy at the Students’ campus community to take pre- A tip Roth provided to those Council forum on Tuesday, Sept. 15, caution, as property crimes are who share office space would which advocates for a more inclu- on the rise. be to post a list of everyone who sive space for LGBT individuals. Since the beginning of the aca- occupies the room. In the event an The new policy, motioned by SU demic year, six different build- office is broken into, this method Vice-President (Operations and ings have been broken into, one of would enable UAPS officers to Finance) Cody Bondarchuk, ac- which being a residence. A total contact everyone in the office knowledges non-binary students of eight laptops were stolen from immediately. and the barriers they may face as the invaded property. There have been instances a result of not identifying as male Most break-ins were due to where individuals were not con- or female. The policy means the SU forced entry, either by prying tacted the night of a theft after now advocates for gender-neutral open doors, manipulating locks it was reported because UAPS documentation, confidentiality and breaking windows to gain officers did not know who works and the creation of all-gendered access. there. washrooms on campus, where Inclusivity Gender neutral bathrooms will be advocated more. Christina varvis “We encourage people to con- Any suspicious activity can be possible. It also advocates that the tinue to report suspicious activity reported to the UAPS office in the Government of Alberta take simi- well. Most all-gender washrooms started to implement gender neu- to (UAPS),” UAPS Acting Inspector Education car park or at 780-492- lar measures — in policy and in on campus illustrate the figures of tral signage and washrooms. Marcel Roth said. 5050. washroom. a man and a woman, but this isn’t The Landing’s Program Man- “If they feel like somebody The policy also advocates for necessarily gender-neutral Bond- ager, Parker Leflar said the new doesn’t fit in or doesn’t belong or Hang around hub mall the U of A to include all-gender archuk said. gender policy is an exciting step is acting suspicously, to defer to On Sept. 12 at 10 p.m., UAPS offi- washrooms in any new building Having the Government of Al- forward. The Landing is a student us.” cers were patrolling HUB Mall constructed on campus, and to im- berta acknowledge there are more space to offer gender and sexual Roth added that he wants advise noticed a male had been in the plement them into existing build- than two genders would be the first diversity support and also advo- those in offices to lock their doors, men’s washroom for a prolonged ings when cost effective. The SU step in further changes to gender cates for acceptance of all genders even if they step out for short peri- period of time. extended this encouragement to policy, Bondarchuk added. on campus. ods of time. Roth likened leaving After the male had been in the Alberta Building Code, which The City of Edmonton’s Coun- “I think it’s an amazing direc- office spaces to that of students the bathroom for “longer than currently doesn’t acknowledge cil has already passed a motion to tion the SU is going in and they’re leaving their property in librar- normal,” UAPS approached the gender, Bondarchuk said. use gender-neutral signage and the perfect organization to take on ies: take any valuable property man. “The building codes fall silent include all-gender washrooms in that kind of advocacy work within with them, such as wallets or lap- The male was immediately when it turns to gender neutral any new facility built — along with the university,” Leflar said. “I’m tops with them to the bathroom. identified as a previous trespasser washrooms,” he said. traditional male and female wash- incredibly proud of our elected “Unfortunately, this is the and the suspect for a past break- Signage on all-gender wash- rooms. Other institutions, such student representatives to take on opportunity some (criminals) and-enter and assault. Edmonton rooms are advocated to change as as MacEwan University, have also this work.” would take,” Roth said. “ Some Police Service (EPS) responded.

Illustration by Giselle Boehm SU Farmers’ Market gearing up for weekly schedule

Mitch Sorensen Many items at the market can be expensive List of 2015–16 SU Farmers’ style preserves and jellies. Staff reporter @sonofamitchh on student budgets, and Forest admitted that Market Vendors Hemperial Fidelis — Any possible hemp it can be a tricky situation to deal with. product imaginable. From doughnuts to pickles to fresh fruit, the “There’s definitely an aspect of privilege The list changes every year, but here’s a list Jasmine Bai — Various teas. cornucopia laid out at the Students’ Union that comes from being able to shop at a farm- of vendors who will be selling their goods Melodi’s Kitchen — Various baked Building Farmers’ Market is set to expand ers’ market,” Forest said. “We recognize there at the SU Farmers’ Market every second goods. this year. are cheaper options for students.” Thursday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on the main Molly’s Eats — Food products from their The market is entering its fourth year of Forest said he hopes students put more floor of SUB. The next SU Farmers’ Market food truck. operation, taking place every second Thurs- thought into how and where they get their will take place on Thursday, Sept. 24, 2015. Moonshine Doughnuts — Gourmet day from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on the first floor food each week, and insert the market into doughnets in various flavours and icings. of SUB. Alec Forest, Sustainability operations their plans. Axis Mundi Artistry — Art jewelery and Mr. Jerky — Dried meat of various pro- coordinator for Sustain SU, is directly respon- “If you’re wiser about how you buy food succulents. teins. sible for the market and said he’s excited for and manage your purchasing strategy, I think Birds and Bees Winery — Organic wine Phil’s Fudge — Many flavours of home- the year ahead. it’s possible to make a market work,” Forest and mead. made-style fudge. “We can consider any situation to have said. Bloom Cookie Co. — Variety of artisanal Steve and Dan’s BC Fruit — Fresh farm social, economic or environmental sustain- Throughout the Fall term, Forest said he cookies. fruit and vegetables. ability,” Forest said. “The Farmers’ Markets hopes to establish a firm customer base which Dandy Lion Confections — Macarons, Tamiri Bites — Gluten-free, raw, paleo covers all three for us.” will allow the market to begin operation on a cakes and other conjections. and vegan food. Forest said the market goes a long way to weekly basis. Dazzling Designs — Dresses, kaftans, The Winter Owl achieving the SU goal of having consistent “The vendors have been clamoring for (a harem pants and other clothing. Theo’s Greek Kouzina — Tzatziki, pitas access to staple-type foods available in SUB, weekly market) for a long time,” Forest said. Geo Bar — All-purpose meal-replace- and other Greek products. which could be continued by the possible ad- “If it’s a regular Thursday thing, it’s easier for ment granola bars. Vikki’s Apothecary —Essential oils, dition of a grocery aisle in SUBmart. people to commit.” Granny’s Jams and Pickles — Home bath body and wellness products. thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 advertisement 7 opinion 8 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015

Opinion Editor Email Josh Greschner [email protected]

Phone Twitter 780.492.5168 @joshgreschner Volunteer Opinion Opinion meetings every Wednesday at 2pm in SUB 3-04

editorial comment NCAA should allow EA Sports to pay student athletes

I SHOULD BE UNWRAPPING A SHINY NEW NCAA FOOTBALL 16 WITH Marcus Mariota featured on the cover. Instead, I’m forced to dust off an out- dated, “old-gen” copy of NCAA Football 14 with Denard Robinson playing for the Michigan Wolverines. True, I could swap NCAA Football with Madden NFL 16’s ‘Be a Player’ and develop my own backstory before playing in the Super Bowl to get my fix. Or, I could pick up NBA 2K16 and play through the new “Spike Lee Joint” career mode, which follows a high school recruit through the rigors and drama of the NBA. NHL 16’s ‘Be a GM’ and MLB 16: The Show aren’t bad either. But nothing was quite like NCAA Football. The year-long recruitment of high school kids against your friends, man- aging a Division I football program after building it from scratch, unrealis- tic power up cards, endless hours of selecting uniform colour combinations and running the read option was unlike any video game out there, sports- related or not. But none of that’s possible anymore. After EA Sports profited off the likenesses of players while offering no compensation for the college athletes featured in the games and the result- ing class-action lawsuit by former UCLA Bruin Ed O’Bannon, NCAA video games are no more. Selfishly, I just want my video game series back. But the now-ended rela- tionship between EA Sports and the NCAA goes much deeper. EA removing 13 NCAA women’s soccer players from the FIFA 16 video game because it compromised the players’ NCAA eligibility is just the latest example of the NCAA’s greed and unwillingness to properly compensate the reason why it’s a billion-dollar industry — the athletes. True, there are NCAA rules that prevent athletes from receiving any sort of payout, which is why EA was unable to disburse college athletes. And yes, the O’Bannon lawsuit, which was settled for US $60 million in 2014, paid players who appeared in the games for a maximum up to $7,200. But there was a problem with U.S. District Judge Claudia Wilkin’s decision in the O’Bannon versus NCAA ordeal: she didn’t deem the current NCAA rules too restrictive. adaire beatty Wilkin’s decision didn’t leave any room for negotiation. The 20,000 claims filed by former NCAA athletes who appeared in college football and basketball video games were successful in obtaining their funds, but it did letters to the editor absolutely nothing for a possible collective bargaining agreement in the future. The college athletes did get paid, but it didn’t give them an actual eral sexual tolerance. There was an a broken record about this, it’s sexist voice regarding the NCAA’s sanctions against player compensation. from the web undeniable correlation linking those to take every member of a gender There needs to be a new system in place, one that can be renewed and respondents who were misogynistic (that you’ve somehow defined in your renegotiated as years pass, much like other major sports leagues. You can Claims don’t hold up in their dating preferences to more unyielding sagacity) and neatly set set a baseline arbitrary number, such as $5,000 per year trust fund Wilkin when replacing ‘racism’ obvious forms of sexist bigotry. While them on the shelf never to be consid- ruled earlier this year for student-athletes, but several years from now, that with ‘sexism’ the problem is usually understood as ered as humans to be courted, dated, $5,000 — which the NCAA appealed earlier this year — probably won’t be (Re: “Yes, sexual preferences based on being concentrated in the gay com- loved, fucked, married, whatever. enough. The NCAA still has total control over their athletes, so nothing has race are still racist,” by Cole Forster, munity, it would be flippant to deny Seeing it trite to suggest that anyone really changed. The amount of money Wilkin awarded to players doesn’t Sept. 16) that sexual sexism is an issue regard- is under the obligation to increase truly represent their worth to the NCAA, and the athletes deserve to be less of sexuality. their amorous diversity, I propose a unionized and have that conversation. Hey, I rewrote your article for you. When someone expresses a pref- humane compromise. See people as EA ultimately decided to discontinue any college sports games because Made it a lot better, too. You’re wel- erence for partners of a certain sex individuals before you see them as a they too were being sued for not paying players for their likenesses. The come. they usually won’t admit that their caricature of some gender you sup- difference was that EA, although they wanted to pay the players, couldn’t tendency has sexist implications. The posedly “don’t date.” because of the NCAA’s strict guidelines. EA even lobbied the NCAA to So you have a preference for part- more odious corollary — excluding change those rules so that the video game company could pay athletes a ners of a certain gender to the exclu- certain genders outright — is a very James chunk of the $80 million in revenue generated yearly by the NCAA Football sion of other genders? Maybe you like questionable commitment to have. via web series, but the NCAA unsurprisingly didn’t budge. cis men. Maybe trans femmes are If one recognizes or confesses to a EA knows it can’t make and market a game without the likeness of more your thing. Maybe you prefer sexually discriminatory approach to Deeming such player names, which is the number one request from their consumers, but partners who are panromantic gen- prospective romantic or sexual part- preferences ‘racist’ is an the NCAA would rather pull their license completely than entertain that derqueers. ners, then one is obligated to consider thought. Do these sentiments make you a the origins of this discrimination. overstatement So while O’Bannon and his attorneys celebrate their perceived win in sexist? In Canada at least, our society does a The study may have found correla- court, the 13 college women’s soccer players removed from FIFA 16 are still The evidence is compounding, and comparatively decent job of condemn- tion but I think it’s dangerous to jump relegated to the sidelines. may now be fairly conclusive, that ing most forms of overt sexism. If to the conclusion that someone’s phys- Of the removed players is Canada’s Kadeisha Buchanan, a third-year sexual sexism is a form of sexism someone openly states their aversion ical preferences make them a racist. It defender for the West Virginia Mountaineers, who expressed her enjoy- and therefore indefensible by claims to doing business with women on a seems eerily similar to the rational- ment at being included in FIFA 16 when the game was announced earlier of “preference.” While some people purely sexual basis, a severe major- ity that justifies vilifying gay people in May. invariably have sexual orientations ity of us would be disgusted and say based on their ‘choice’ of ‘immoral’ “This is super-sick. Never would have thought in my life this would other than bisexual, it seems self- as much. But, if someone mentions dating preferences. happen. Love it,” she tweeted. evident that discriminating against in passing that a certain gender is not Like former Oregon Duck quarterback Joey Harrington said in an inter- certain sexes in romantic or sexual their “type” most people don’t bat an Cameron view with Yahoo!, you could argue that feeling of seeing yourself on the circumstances is actually categori- eye. Why does society fail to admon- via web game is enough, and all they wanted “was to get on the depth chart high cally sexist. ish sexism when it happens to be enough to see our number in the video game,” and not “about getting a A recent study of gay and bisexual cloaked in terms of “taste?” Letters to the editor should be sent check for $173 in a class-action lawsuit.” men in Australia found that sexually There are preferences that are actu- to [email protected] (no But Buchanan won’t even have that opportunity. College student athletes problematic dating beliefs were inex- ally just that, preferences. You can attachments, please). in the future won’t either unless the NCAA is willing to dismantle their tricably connected to higher levels of prefer brunettes to blondes and not The Gateway reserves the right to current system and relinquish the total control they have over athletes. sexism in general. Titled “Is Sexual be sexist. You can prefer #tallguys to edit letters for length and clarity, and That’s truly what makes these games unlike any other out there. Sexism Really Sexism?” and pub- eww... short guys, and not be height- to refuse publication of any letter it lished in Archives of Sexual Behavior, ist. But the specific exclusion of people deems racist, sexist, libellous, or oth- the study compared responses to from your dating pool based on sex erwise hateful in nature. The Gateway Richard Catangay-Liew questions about sex and dating with can only be described by one word. also reserves the right to publish let- news editor a parallel questionnaire about gen- At the distinct risk of sounding like ters online. thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 opinion 9

christina varvis Administrator: our roles are often mythologized and misunderstood

mentors and friends because of approach educational issues. As far some tired old narrative that por- back as the popularization of the trays administrators as the enemy. theory movements of the 1960s, Christine There are also mythologies that educational leaders have been Valentine portray administrators as failed divided on whether such methods administrative academics primarily concerned or more ‘social science’ approaches assistant with promoting their own self-in- better address educational issues. terests. Such views allow adminis- Those that study educational ‘University administrator’ carries tration to become a scapegoat for policy have a thousand ideas many connotations, most of them larger problems within education. and theories about how an negative. Administrators are often Despite mutual interests in educa- institution should be run, but are viewed as a necessary evil, hav- tion, there is a serious lack of trust generally short on demonstrated ing joined the “dark side” of the and respect between faculty and action. Theoretically, university academic community, and most administration, two very different administration, which is supposed students don’t even know what groups of people that play very dif- to manifest the virtues of academic administration does. I’m just fig- ferent roles. practice, should be among the uring it all out for myself — I’m a noblest professions in the world. grad student in educational poli- But it’s not. cies and an administrative assis- It’s important to note University administrators could tant in the Dean’s Office. As one of that there are about do better and I believe there are the many cogs in the wheel of the 2,500 administrators some practical ways forward. One machine that powers the univer- problem is that there is no uni- sity, I want to tell you the truth as I that run an institution versal ethic for administration, see it about administration. large as the U of A [...] and since not all administrators During class as an undergrad are scholars, this field would ben- student, I would stare at the course Those in charge do efit from an articulated mission syllabus and wonder not about not always make the statement that reflects ethical the readings or essays I was being leadership practices that those of asked to write, but about the vari- decisions that I or my us who learn about educational ous policies I was being asked to colleagues agree with. policy are taught. An articulated follow. I imagined the university purpose would hold administra- as it’s own world, where smaller Granted, not all administrators tors accountable for seeking truth parts moved in synchronized pat- are good. Because higher-level and knowledge in all that they do terns, creating predictable rituals administrators tend to make more and serve the university commu- that have come to shape a distinct money than faculty members, nity. culture. there is always going to be admin- There should also be more op- These patterns and rituals, pro- istrators who allow their positions portunities for administrative cesses and procedures became my of authority and their generous scholarship. The post-secondary reality when I got the job. I took compensation to distract them self-study guidelines in Alberta minutes at committee meetings from important educational is- are silent on any requirement for where faculty and administrators sues that perhaps, tragically, once administrators to regularly report sat around a table negotiating inspired them to their leadership their scholarly activity. While curriculum, I crafted programs of roles in the first place. Such peo- many higher-level administrators study for degrees that aren’t even ple become the faces of the uni- have academic degrees, many do being offered yet, and I learned versity in the media. not specialize in educational is- about university policy and the But it’s important to note that sues, and some have only received politics of the institution. Perhaps there are about 2,500 administra- management training. Adminis- most importantly, I became acute- tors that run an institution large trators are not allocated funding in ly aware that I had entered a pro- as the U of A, and we are often per- the university operating budget to fession that was largely disliked by ceived to have more power than attend conferences or workshops, the university community. we actually have, especially those publish in academic journals, or to Much of the skepticism toward beneath the most well-known ad- pursue further accreditation. Is it administration can be attributed ministrators. Those in charge do so crazy to expect our administra- to the invisibility of administra- not always make decisions that I, tors to also be scholars, when they tive roles. One of the most diffi- or my colleagues agree with. They work within a university? cult things to accept was that I too do not speak for all of us. University administration should became invisible. I was separated I think a major problem with be one of the noblest professions in from those that had, only a few administration is that we are the world, and it’s not. But it can years before, been my professors, indecisive toward how to best be. opinion 10 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015 Being transgender isn’t a disorder, school board trustee should resign

of the world: good start, now stop The role of a school board trustee talking and follow through. Be is to look out for the best interests quiet. Listen. Find some credible of the children in the district the sources. Learn from the actual trustee represents. This means Shaylee lived experiences of transgender looking out for the best interests Foord people. Do not follow up with links of transgender children, who al- opinion writer to a YouTube video of a pastor ready experience a higher risk of BBQ who compares being transgender harassment and discrimination, In the spirit of inventing mental to having an eating disorder or which can lead to higher rates of Alumni Walk disorders, I suggest adding big- pretending to be an animal. homelessness, depression, and otry, willful ignorance, and gen- The views Mr. Kowalczyk ex- suicide, among other issues. It is eral obnoxiousness to the medical pressed, and later defended by the duty of the board to provide lexicon. Then again, that would be citing his Catholic faith as expla- a safe, inviting environment and WED. Sept. 30 11-2 giving Edmonton Catholic School nation, demonstrate a deep lack ensure that this discrimination Board trustee Larry Kowalczyk far of both knowledge and a desire is not perpetuated inside school too much credit. to learn. Marni Panas, a Catho- walls, especially not by the elected Kowalczyk caused uproar re- lic transgender woman who has trustees themselves. cently, when in an interview with been actively supporting the child To be clear, what’s going on CBC last Tuesday, he suggested and her mother wrote in an email, here is not an issue of religious that being transgender was syn- “many people cherry pick what freedom — it is an issue of human onymous with having a “mental they want and call it doctrine. And rights. The Alberta Human Rights disorder.” The statement came as use that ‘doctrine’ to discriminate Act protects transgender individu- part of a larger discussion within and even harm others.” als from gender-based discrimina- the board, which began this spring tion. The Catholic board is public- when a seven-year-old transgen- ly funded, and Tuesday’s meeting der girl was told she couldn’t use A word of advice for of tears, yelling, accusations, and the girl’s washroom at her Catho- the [Larry] Kowalczyks blatant intolerance revealed noth- lic school. Since then, the board ing but a broken system in need of has worked on drafting a policy of the world... Listen. either serious reform or dissolu- which would allow transgender Find some credible tion. students to use the facilities and sources. Learn from the As for Kowalczyk, using faith to play on the sports teams corre- excuse hateful behaviour is a tired sponding with their gender iden- actual lived experiences old trick, and all that’s left for him tities. Following a board meeting of transgender people. to do is resign. The statements he last Tuesday (three hours which has made show that not only is played out more like bad daytime Do not follow up he unwilling or unable fulfill his television than a gathering of civi- with links of a pastor role as a trustee, but that he would lized adults), a motion was made rather cling to selective doctrine to defer discussion of the policy to who compares being than abide by the Catholic teach- next month’s meeting. transgenrder to having ings of love and acceptance for all Earlier this year in an email an eating disorder or people. Religious beliefs and intol- exchange, which was also provided erance need not go hand in hand. to CBC, Kowalczyk wrote: “I know pretending to be an Marni Panas summed it up best: very little about transgenderism I animal. “As a Catholic I will not be judged have been trying to bring myself up by others. And I do not judge oth- $30 to speed on the subject.” A word of As a public figure, Kowalczyk’s ers. My soul will be judged by God. advice for the trustee Kowalczyks statements are especially harmful. My female soul.” York’s “White Students Union” is a joke

students with only a single, “oppres- does not mean that York, Ryerson sor-oppressed” lens through which and the U of T aren’t complicit in to view Western civilization. silencing these students by taking So the question raised is, should down their posters just because the Kassidy universities strive to offer more di- group’s views are rather extreme. $ 20 Auld verse perspectives on controversial Having these conversations at our IN ADVANCE, opinion writer topics like racism, oppression, and universities is important for the very $ 25 white supremacy? And are these uni- reason that such far-right positions AT THE DOOR Does anyone else get uncomfortable versities doing a disservice to their are often opposed — so that the views when they hear the words “White students by refusing to allow them a we find offensive can be exposed Students Union”? platform for discussion? and defeated in intellectual debate. THE MUSIC OF Apparently, some white students Outright suppression of academic BILLY BOYD & BEECAKE at York University have had the exact discussion only serves to validate the opposite feeling. Their discomfort Do we really need a misguided feelings of “oppression” SEPTEMBER 25, EDMONTON EXPO CENTRE – ALBERTA BALLROOM 7515 118 AVE NW, EDMONTON AB - CONCERT AT 8:00, DOORS OPEN AT 7:45 with the “leftist, Neo-Marxist” edu- “White Students Union” that these white students claim to cation offered by their university be- feel. came so severe that they felt the need when virtually all public The terms “free speech” and “safe to form a student group to cope. The space is a safe space to space” need not be mutually exclu- group is called “Students for Western be white? sive, but there is a definite distinction Civilization,” and its purported mis- to be made between allowing a plat- sion, as stated on their website, is as The perspective that white stu- form for controversial opinions and follows: dents cannot be victims of racism, allowing hate speech. 1. To genuinely explore ethnic and and therefore shouldn’t be allowed Safe space policies exist because cultural politics in a forum which to form an exclusive club, relies hate speech is not simply abstract, in- does not exclude rightist or conser- on the acceptance of the very Neo- tellectual views — it actually affects vative perspectives. Marxist ideology that these students people psychologically, and to legiti- 2. To organize for and advance the are complaining about. However, it mize certain views by allowing hate interests of Western peoples. is not without a substantial body of speech can be damaging. Language 3. To promote and celebrate West- evidence backing up this perspec- can be — and is — used as an instru- ern Civilization. tive that the university has arrived at ment of violence, and that is the vi- When one takes a closer look at these policies, as Western civilization tal concept which opponents of safe their views, it becomes clear that this isn’t exactly known for its rich history space policies fail to recognize. But I ALL AGES EVENT mission statement is a somewhat of kindness to non-white people. can’t believe that outright censorship An Edmonton Expo ticket is not required watered-down version of their true In fact, I would go as far as to call is the ideal solution for harmoniz- to attend the concert purpose: they aim to promote the it an indisputable historical fact that ing the student body when opinions view that white people are victims Western civilization is built on a clash. FANS OF LORD OF THE RINGS, REJOICE! in the UK charts, with the video gar- of racism, and that York University foundation of slavery and exploita- So, sure, let the Students for White LOTR star Billy Boyd and his band nering over a million views before Beecake will be performing a night the film was even released. Hailing (and Ryerson University, and the tion. Do we really need a “White Stu- Supremacy — er, Western Civiliza- of fantastic Indie Rock. Boyd's from Glasgow, Scotland, Beecake University of Toronto) are directly ac- dents Union” when virtually all pub- tion — band together to support each critically acclaimed song, The Last has previously released two albums countable for spreading hate speech lic space is a safe space to be white? Is other through these times of great Goodbye, forThe Hobbit:The Battle of - Soulswimming (2009) and Blue Sky through their liberal arts education it tactful to be celebrating white pride hardship for white folks. And let’s all the Five Armies has enjoyed success Paradise (2012). model. when the effects of systemic racism watch as they fail spectacularly in an This model, according to the are still affecting people of colour in age when progress no longer means TICKETS AVAILABLE AT EDMONTONEXPO.COM group, tackles identity politics from a the Western world? exploitation, and racism is not an one-sided leftist perspective, leaving In a word: no. However, that equal opportunity phenomenon. thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 opinion 11 Bring on new sex robots that “can even have an orgasm!”

harmless nympho looking for some loving. Hines hopes that one day, Roxxxy will even be able to respond accordingly to the Pia likes and dislikes of its owner. Araneta This seems perfect for all those opinion writer times you wish your girlfriend could muster a stimulating Have you ever just stared at an conversation. Soon enough, all appliance, admiring all its func- you’ll need is Roxxxy to share tions, dumb-struck by its radiat- your conspiracy theories and ing charisma, and just thought long discussions that no human to yourself, “Man, I wish I could being ever seemed to have the fuck this appliance right now?” time or patience for prior. Well, you, good sir, are in luck! All in all, I see no harm in this True Companion, a New Jersey- technologically advanced fe- based company founded by ar- tish. Let this development filter tificial intelligence engineer, out the dedicated perverts who Douglas Hines, is set to release are willing to spend US $7,000 a line of humanoid sex-bots by on a mannequin they can put the end of this year. Isn’t that their dick in. Let them quiver just the most exhilarating thing with sheer excitement as they you’ve ever heard? Sadly, not all open their front doors to find a people would agree. human-sized box finally being Dr. Kathleen Richardson, a delivered. Just let them have senior research fellow in the sex with the damn robot. And Ethics of Robotics at De Mont- if the development of these sex- fort University, along with Dr. bots jeopardizes your relation- Erik Billing of the University of ship with someone, then you’re Skövde in Sweden, is spearhead- better off without them anyway. ing a Campaign Against Sex Ro- Seriously, if someone breaks bots. Their movement is led by up with you because a line of the belief that sex-bots would sex-bots comes out, then you’re only further objectify women clearly dating a freak and it’s and create a mass reduction of best to get rid of them before human empathy. Their concern you have three children, a mort- even goes as far as to say sex- gage to pay off, and you come bots may gradually replace hu- mechanophilia: a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to machines such as bicycles and toasters. And sex robots? anna campbell home to them fucking a toaster. man partners (because there’s Also, speaking on the behalf of nothing like the reassuring website, the sex-bots — all referred have already been made for the for the diverse world in which a large sum of women, we’re al- touch of cold steel to let you to as Roxxxy — are able to “talk world’s first sex robot, which we live. I would hate to think ready basically having sex with know you’re not alone in this to you, listen to you and feel your even allows you to select its that Roxxxy would raise both robots. Our robots just conve- world). touch. She can even have an own wig and skin tone. This gender inequality and racial niently lack the creepy aspect of According to the True Companion orgasm!” Thousands of preorders is admirably accommodating issues considering she’s just a a torso and limp, cold arms. A message from Drum Dutch Blend rolling tobacco. Smoke up!

government apparatus should try. or causes that brief moment of Picture, if you can, an archetypal clarity like the pioneering drag off sex symbol. Now that you’ve go a fresh square. There is something Brigitte Bardot or James Dea swim- so focusing about the act and the Cole ming around in the soup of your stamina it lends. To be sure, it’s a Forster imagination, toggle the optics and debt that will someday have to be opinion staff zoom in on their hand. I daresay repaid, but until death comes call- you’ve caught them wreathed in ing, profiting from the buzz is noth- Yes, the accompanying advertise- grey-blue smoke-visually appre- ing to be ashamed of. And while ment was actually published in The hended in this supposedly vile act. smoking is a useful way for anyone Gateway, but that was back in 1977 Truth be told, burning tobacco and to measure out the day in short when the tobacco companies were breathing in the fumes will never bursts of energy, it is especially po- still allowed to promote their prod- lose its sex appeal no matter how tent for those in the creative arts. ucts in print and on the air. much we discover about its propen- In fact, I don’t trust a writer who Since cigarette ads can no lon- sity to kill you. That’s because it is doesn’t smoke. ger be disseminated amongst an precisely this element of danger Hacking darts inducts you into a audience that potentially includes that makes a cigarette the perfect sort of club that has its social ben- minors, I am going to do a little prop when cultivating an image of efits. Asking for a light, standing marketing work pro bono as it pure eroticism. out in the cold, passing around were. Philip Morris and R.J. Reyn- the incandescent end of the last olds can’t publicly persuade you to vicinal cigarette; these are all ritu- smoke, but I can. The health detriments als that breed solidarity. You meet Our generation, that is to say of inhaling tobacco new people, are exposed to new Y, has been inoculated against circumstances, indeed there are en- smoking as a ritual. This is the smoke [...] became tire conversations that never would result of a soft paternalist crusade fuel for a hysteria have occurred had you not joined against a “filthy habit.” The health of anti-smoking the ranks of this rapidly disappear- detriments of inhaling tobacco ing sub-culture. smoke, once fully understood legislation. It really is The smoker is almost extinct as a became fuel for a hysteria of anti- indistuinguishable from species and the prohibition of ciga- smoking legislation. It really is rette advertising deserves a king’s indistinguishable from the absurdly the absurdly reactionary share of the credit. We know it’s a reactionary Temperance movement Temperance movement. horrible thing to do to the body, we of the early 20th century. But the know it pollutes the virgin air of facts are smoking is untiringly sexy, Not in spite of, but because of its those around us, but it has its perks. often energizing and sometimes addictive nature, nicotine can serve Seeing as the companies themselves social. Benefits of the habit aside, as a tremendous propellant. It’s the aren’t allowed to tell you what those it’s simply beyond the competency little glowing friend that never lets are by putting the Marlboro Man in of the state to decide what one you down (until it kills you). Noth- this week’s paper, I felt compelled puts in one’s own mouth, and no ing immediately sharpens the mind to do it myself. hacking darts Stop shaming these sexy smokers! Now! supplied - gateway archive

Got a sandwich from Lexpress OMG Is it weird that I want to take vaca- racism dating preferences was so three is that mold? My teeth are blue! tion days so I can sit in on classes? well thought out and executed that Totally digging the new landscapes Oh, the life of a nostalgic alumnus. my knees buckled? lines in the Rutherford North stairwell! I want to see a live action Hub Run One Live blogs are the future event. Two #3LF free zAbo i crave the sweet release of death Three Got something that you need to get off your mind? Either email us at threelinesfree@gateway. The Staff Reporters need to fight to Netflix and Chill Four ualberta.ca, tweet @threelinesfree, or message us at www.thegatewayonline.ca/threelinesfree the death #therecanonlybeone Is it ableist if I say that the article on Five lines free! feature 12 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015 The Gateway’s Since The Gateway staff is comprised of poor stu- dents, we wanted to explore which cheap, domestic beer is the best value, while also being tasty. We’ve selected 16 of our favourite beers, and put them beer bracket head to head in a fight-to-the-death to determine WRITTEN & DESIGN BY GATEWAY STAFF which domestic beer is the best value for those on the starving student diet. The winner is...

Kokanee Kokanee canadian Coor’s Banquet Coor’s Banquet Coor’s Banquet budweiser river valley red Keystone Keystone boxer river valley red Rickard’s Red river valley red river valley red RIVER VALLEY RED

Kokanee Canadian Coor’s Banquet Budweiser Well, at least their commercials are pretty Considering the patriotic name of the beer, Though it is admittedly one of the pricier Ah Budweiser, the beer of Clydesdales and funny. Let’s be honest, Kokanee isn’t very the taste of this Canadian brew definitely brews in our noble contest, the pride of adorable anti drunk driving ads. I’d be lying if good. But is it supposed to be? Kokanee is doesn’t live up to it’s lofty name. It’s perplex- Golden, Colorado is unquestionably tasty. A I said I was thinking about horses while I was just a cheap, mediocre sports bar beer you ing that Canada is such a big, beautiful great beer for drinking in copious quantities, drinking it, I was mostly thinking about how have because you’re like “fuck, there isn’t country and yet the beer with our namesake the low impact of Banquet on one’s taste- Budweiser strikes a weird balance between anything else I recognize on this menu at all is so lacking in flavour and body. While buds means you can drink it all night long. a high quality beer you’d drink casually, and so I figure I’ll have a Kokanee even though similar in flavour to Kokanee, it loses points However, this doesn’t mean it leaves your a literal can of piss that’s only used for the it won’t be rewarding.” You’ll enjoy drinking for the bold, national name that doesn’t do palate in a state of numb boredom. Subtly rowdiest games of beer pong. It has some water more, because Kokanee tastes like old Canada any justice. It’s not exactly cheap unctuous, with just the right balance of malt elements of both — a wheaty aftertaste that I water, but since it’s smooth and easy to drink either, it fails overall to keep itself alive in and hops to keep things interesting, Banquet always associate with that one game of beer you’ll be kind of drunk pretty quickly. And if this bracket. tastes like the beer you want brought to you pong where you get six consecutive shots you’re drinking Kokanee, that was probably in a frosty mug with your pound of wings. sunk against you, and an inoffensive flavour your goal anyway. Job well done. Possessing a unique, golden hue and a light that lends itself to sipping while relax- head, Banquet is the beer for all occasions. ing in your study. Overall, this means that Budweiser is an average beer, which is kind of expensive, so if you really like it, you can go nuts. But you can find better. River boxer Keystone Valley Red Rickard’s Red Boxer takes the title of our cheapest beer Based on everything but taste, Keystone is As I purchased this beer at the Liquor For a red ale, Rickard’s has surprisingly little on our list coming in $8.99 for a six pack. a light beer. It pours golden yellow with a Barn on 78 street, even the woman from bite. It goes down smooth, with slightly more However, If you’re finding yourself short on thin, quick disappearing head, so it definitely Venezuela (I asked) working at the till said, flavour than your standard, watery ale. You cash your best option may be to go home. looks like light beer. On the nose, there’s a “In a hypothetical cheap beer college can actually pick up notes of caramel, sur- Celiacs, do not rejoice. Boxer may be the slight beer-like smell. If you touch it, it feels newspaper bracket, River Valley Red would prising for a lower-end, non-craft beer. But most offensive on our list, with hints of steel like beer. I guess it sounds like beer too. certainly win due to its price as well as its while this malty beer is arguably one of the filings and watered-down Sunripe apple But, as soon as you put this beer in your intense flavour.” RVR enchants the taste- better brews in our bracket, it can’t stand up juice, not to mention a non-existent head. In mouth, you’re tricked into thinking you’re buds, as well as the wallet. There are too to River Valley Red’s low price to high flavour the end, spend a few more dollars on some- drinking water. There is no mouthfeel or many melodic flourishes and chord changes ratio. thing drinkable. taste to this beer. While disappointing, it’s to make RVR a beer pong beer, and there’s a easy-drinking watery nature makes it perfect deceptive amount of soul per fluid ounce in for drinking games. such a humble industrial can. Boxer thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 feature 13 The Gateway’s DISCLAIMER We are well-aware that we don’t have every single beer on the market included in this beer bracket bracket. We would gladly accept your beer WRITTEN & DESIGN BY GATEWAY STAFF donations so we can redo the bracket if you feel that our financial situation offended The winner is... your sensibilities.

Keith’s Keith’s bud light Keith’s Pabst Blue Pabst Blue Ribbon Ribbon coor’s light Scona Gold Scona Gold Scona Gold sleeman’s Scona Gold honey brown Pilsner Pilsner RIVER VALLEY RED velvet fog

Keith’s bud light Pilsner Velvet Fog Let’s get it out of the way: this is not a You might as well drink seltzter water. If Vitamin P is the lifesblood of any In our Calgary-brewed play-in round of this fucking IPA. We get it, it’s available almost you’re not a beer drinker and are out with Saskatchewanian, and this reviewer bracket, Velvet Fog beat out Grasshopper anywhere and is regularly on sale. The “IPA” your friends on Whyte Ave, we guess this should know. The robust and surpris- since it had moderately more taste. It isn’t label draws criticism from beer snobs, but would be your choice. It’s light and clear, but ingly fruity blend is not only refreshing, as much of an embarrassment to Alberta their disapproval is warranted. Keith’s IPA bland. Carbonation is decent and refreshing, but evokes a vague nostalgia. This is the breweries since expectations are pretty low. pours a clear-ish yellow with a thin head. but so is sparkling water. The only differ- taste of a province, like Chris Szarka’s That said, the taste barely diffuses through First whiff detects a faint hop aroma while ence is this will get you drunk. If you don’t sideburn sweat. Greedy Alberta capital- the sinuses. Such wheaty, melancholic swill first taste is underwhelming and not bitter at want a beer, might as well order a highball. ists have decided to price Pilsner here the will, like the buffalo-headed figure on the all. But Keiths is still a reasonable, refresh- Or water, because Bud Light isn’t that much same as the PST-paying, formerly socialist bottle, evoke any such colonial nightmare ing sessionable beer, if you can stand being different. Saskatchewananians pay now, but drinking when aboriginal ghosts learn that natural vilified by craft beer geeks at the table next Pilsner looks cool and people will think that resources are being made into something to you. rather than being a judgy, superficial city kid, you’re going to dump down your gullet or you’re a rip-snortin, quad-driving, inadver- down the sink. Velvet Fog is unsettling. tently racist farm kid. Also, every letter in ‘Pilsner’ stands for something featured on the label, so play games with dates! Pabst Blue Sleeman’s Alley Kat coors light Ribbon Honey Brown Scona Gold The only fun thing about Coors Light is the PBR just reminds me of hipster parties, Sleeman Honey Brown is the dark beer for Our Edmonton representative, Scona can. It has a trendy vent cap for a smooth where you find those wannabe musicians people who can’t drink dark beer. It goes Gold holds up well next to the larger-scale pour, although let’s be honest, you’re drink- that you would never want to run into on down like a light lager, but it has more of a domestic brews. A Kolsch, this brew has a ing this from the can. The mountains also the street. It goes down so easily because it harsh flavour as it travels down the tongue. mild hoppy taste without being bitter. It’s not turn blue, so you should probably drink this literally tastes of nothing. If you pour it out it It’s nice because the carbonation and taste too strongly carbonated, so you won’t find on a ski weekend. It’s smooth to go down, resembles water, but that’s why the hipsters make it nicer to sip than some of the cheaper yourself as bloated after a bottle of Scona and has a reliably hoppy aftertaste. The love it - because it’s not even beer. That said, beers on the market. But it definitely loses Gold as you might with some of the other alcohol percentage comes in low, at just 4%, it’s cheap and does the job. with it’s higher price point. It costs more for swill in this bracket. The downside, it’s a craft which means you need to drink a lot of the six Honey Browns than it does for a six pack beer with craft beer price. While cheaper stuff to get reasonably turnt. Overall, pick of some decent craft beer. So realistically, than some, it’s still over $2.50 a beer when something cheaper for a similar experience. if you’re hunting for a heavier lager, skip you buy a six pack. That said, it’s a practical Sleeman, you can find better in your beer beer, with enough flavour to justify sipping fridge. recreationally and light enough to be an easy drinking game choice. arts & culture 14 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015 A & C Editor Phone Jonathan Zilinkski 780.492.5168 Email Twitter [email protected] @jonneedstwitter rts & ulture Volunteer A C Arts meetings every Wednesday at 4pm in SUB 3-04 fashion streeters compiled & photographed by Willow Austin

Guun Chan science IV

illustration by kevin schenk eSports club unites U of A gamers

Jamie Sarkonak “Everybody loves games,” Paul said. Once eSports University’s website staff reporter @swagonak “It’s not a nerd thing, it’s something is up, Paul said he will poll club mem- everybody can enjoy and participate bers on what games they want to play. Students are about to get Zerg rushed. in through viewership or actually For now, students interested can email The University of Alberta’s eSports playing.” eSports University if they want to join, club is returning to campus as soon as or if they have any questions about the this semester, as they are currently go- club. ing through the administrative process “At the very core, we’re ESports University was an official of becoming a fully-fledged club. about having fun and club a couple years ago, but it died eSports University is open to all enjoying (eSports) as a off because most member interaction students who enjoy gaming. Skill and was online. The club is now under equipment is not a requirement, as the group” new leadership, and will move to- goal is just to have fun, club president Brad paul wards more face-to-face interaction Brad Paul said. As far as equipment Esports club president by members. The advantage of online goes, members don’t have to spend games is the convenience of playing $2,000 on a special optimized laptop People play eSports all over campus as a group, but this can be detrimen- — they just need a machine that will — they can be seen in HUB, Ruther- tal to a club. eSports University ended let them play what they want to play, ford and even discretely in lecture. The up dissolving because members met Paul said. club’s goal is to unite people with this in person once, and any contact after- The announcement of eSport Uni- interest and to bring people together wards was online. It’s hard to main- versity has received positive feedback both offline and online. tain a sense of community with mini- thus far, Paul said. He has received Paul’s “gateway” into eSports started mal face-to-face contact, Paul said. gateway: Can you explain your outfit to me? questions concerned with having too with his purchase of Starcraft. Now, This time around, eSports Universi- low of a skill level in games to join, but he plays everything — which is a lot ty will put a larger focus on in-person chan: Today I am wearing a Boris Bidjan Saberi this isn’t a problem. of games. An eSport is widely catego- meetups, potentially having members Shirt, a Rick Owens tank, Zam Barrett jeans, Guidi “Anybody who wants to join is more rized as anything that can be played get together weekly with laptops and than welcome,” Paul said. “At the very competitively, Paul said. Such games playing a chosen game, Paul said. 988 boots, and an Ann Demeuleester talon ring core, we’re about having fun and en- tend to have high online viewership, “We just want to get everybody to- gateway: What is your style inspiration? joying (eSports) as a group.” some with even more views than the gether, have a good time, and all en- One of the biggest misconceptions NFL’s Super Bowl. Competitive tourna- joy the same thing,” he said. chan: I like avant-garde, more artisan kind of stuff. people have about eSports is the idea ments can have thousands of dollars in Interested students can contact I don’t want to look like everyone, but I also don’t that all gamers fit a certain stereotype. prize money as well. Games with the eSports University at esports@ual- People usually envision gamers as biggest player bases include League berta.ca. The club’s first meeting will want to stand out too much, so I don’t wear much male while the actual gamer gender of Legends, Starcraft 2 and Counter- be announced once it’s through the color. I also like to layer, and distressed garments. ratio is closer to 50-50, he said. Strike. administrative process. Little details add up.

supplied thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 arts & culture 15 GTWYGTWYGTWYGTWY VIBEVIBEVIBEVIBE ALBUM REVIEW Lana Del Rey songs, her sombre tone stitches ALUMNI WEEKEND them all together making the whole Honeymoon album seem a bit repetitive. Del Rey FREE Rally Towel or Sunglasses Interscope pushes the boundaries of what it lanadelrey.com means to have a cohesive sound by to the first 650 fans! bordering at times on homogeneity, vs Manitoba Bisons meaning that by the end of the al- bum the songs blur into each other 5pm | Tailgate Party Lisa Szabo and none really end up sticking out. 7pm | Kick Off arts & culture staff On the whole, Del Rey presents an eerily beautiful sound that is intrigu- Think original Alice in Wonderland Cheshire Cat—better yet, throw the ing for about four songs. After that, meets a dingy jazz bar where every- movie on and mute it while groov- Honeymoon is still lovely, but doesn’t one is high. This most accurately de- ing to Lana. It’s like they were made offer anything new. That being said scribes Lana Del Rey’s newest album for each other. The piano-heavy it probably still deserves a spot in Friday | 5pm Honeymoon, which was released last tracks contribute to the sexy jazz at- your music collection — somewhere Golden Bears vs Fraser Valley Cascades week. Del Rey’s airy vocals, muffled mosphere, while the lonely electric between Pure Heroine and 1989. You Saturday | 2pm percussion, and excessive use of re- guitar in “God Knows I Tried” sounds may not be able to listen to the whole Pandas vs Mount Royal Cougars verb all contribute to a ghostly am- like it belongs in a grunge rendition album at once without wanting to Sunday | 12pm biance that makes the album beau- of “Hallelujiah.” spend the rest of your life in a cave, Pandas vs Trinity Western Spartans tifully haunting. Close your eyes Although she tries to diversify the al- but it’s great music for a bath in the during “Music to Watch Boys to” bum by mixing simplistic tracks car- dark, a lonely dinner in the dark, or Sunday | 2:15pm and picture Alice wandering around ried by just one or two instruments really anything sad happening in the Golden Bears vs Calgary Dinos the dark forest just as she meets the with more electronically dominated dark. ALBUM REVIEW The Black Dahlia before the flood gates are opened The BRICK Invitational and you are barraged by heavily- Murder distorted tremolos, lightning-quick Friday | 7pm Abysmal drum strikes and a savagely groovy vs NAIT Ooks Saturday | 6pm Metal Blade Records bass riff. As human-encyclopedia- of-metal, Trevor Strnad’s, vocals vs Saskatchewan Huskies tbdmofficial.com enter, all the parts come together to remind you of every reason why you Sam Podgurny loved the previous six albums, while arts & culture writer simultaneously saying hold on to your butts, you’ve never heard Black Under normal circumstances, when consistency, paired with their un- Dahlia like this before! Sofaland Men’s Volleyball Classic a band announces a seventh album, canny ability to produce album-of- Ferocious and fun, Abysmal is Thursday | 8pm | vs UBC Okanagan Heat fans react to the news with a heavy the-year quality records with each filled to the brim with the confidence helping of skepticism, topped with release, not only makes this veteran of a team who has 100% bought Friday | 8pm | vs Calgary Dinos a healthy portion of cringe, and a group a staple in every death-metal- into their own system. From the Saturday | 7pm | vs TRU Wolfpack heaping side of *sigh*. But when head’s music collection but also one spot-on and utterly raw production Golden Bears Volleyball Grand Bazaar you’ve delivered six albums worth of of the most consistent musical acts of long-time producer Mark Lewis 5-10pm Daily - Classrooms 3 & 4 fist-pump inducing, biceps-flexing, working today, in any genre (step and former bassist Ryan “Bart” Wil- Items such as art, new & gently used hair-windmill spinning bangerz aside Taylor). liams, a production which perfectly clothing, shoes, and a variety of treasures! like The Black Dahlia Murder have, Abysmal is true to form for TBDM, matches TBDM’s epic live sound, to All sales in support of Golden Bears Volleyball. it comes as no surprise when their following in the vain and vibe of their the tongue-in-cheek but poetically For advanced tickets and information newest release, Abysmal, is simply a past releases (all the way back to sem- grisly lyrics (“Raise up he traitors, master class in how to make a fuck- inal, fan-favourite, Nocturnal) but the higher, higher. By order of rank call 780.492.BEAR or 780.451.8000 ing good metal album. boys tinker with their formulas and then spark their funeral pyres”) The www.bears.ualberta.ca Since their 2003 debut, Unhal- ingredients just enough to give lis- Black Dahlia Murder remind us on lowed, TBDM have been treating teners a slightly different result. On Abysmal why they leave fans hun- @BearsandPandas listeners to a new full-length record opener, “Receipt,” a short introduc- gry, not cringing when a new album every two years like clockwork. This tion of classical strings build tension is announced. ALBUM REVIEW content, each track is extremely Mac Miller thematic and stands strong on its GO:OD AM own while still supporting the al- UofA Warner Bros. Records bum as a whole. Tracks like “Break www.macmillerswebsite.com the Law” and “100 Grandkids” are prime examples of Mac Millers ability to just spit bars, while more Students lyrically heavy tracks like “Perfect Joshua Storie Circle/God Speed” demonstrate a arts & culture writer mature and conscious Mac reflect- ing on his past. get FREE GO:OD AM is the third full-length fectly synchronized with Miller’s Considering the diverse list of fea- studio album- and major label de- lyrical style and delivery. Most tures on this album (including, but but- for 23-year-old Pittsburg na- notably the collaborative produc- not limited to, Juicy J, Lil B, Little admission to tive Mac Miller. Coming off of a tion effort by Big Jerm and beat Dragon, and Miguel) this album spree of heavily drug influenced legend Sha Money XL provide an feels like it is purely a Mac Miller and depressed releases, the likes of incredible backdrop for one of Mac project and many of the features which include FACES, W.M.W.T.S.O Miller’s best lyrical performances simply help to build and solidify Conference and Delusional Thomas, GO:OD AM to date on “100 Grandkids.” this incredible album. Mac Miller feels like a step into the next stage Lyrically Mac Miller comes stron- has certainly added a fantastic of this young rapper’s life. ger then we’ve ever heard him and album to the already long (and While Mac Miller’s producer brings an element of focus that has tirelessly growing) list of great Home Games pseudonym Larry Fishermen has been lacking in his previous proj- hip-hop albums this year, and it *Valid ONEcard must be presented no production credit on this al- ects. Although GO:OD AM boasts feels good to say the Mac Miller is bum, every instrumental feels per- an extremely diverse set of lyrical finally awake. at the gate upon entry to the event. arts & culture 16 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015 TV shows we love to hate

Arts & Culture Staff Gilmore Girls it. One of the problems with dramas group commentary in general is that murder and love Ah, Rory Gilmore—why do you triangles get old after a while. Solve “Don’t you love Game of Thrones?” have to be so dumb?! I literally the fucking Bates case already, find If you pose that question, the gen- can’t stop watching this show even Mary a husband, and let’s call ‘er eral population would most re- though every time I do it goes ex- quits. I’m too invested now to give spond with a proud “yes!”, Howev- actly like this: me rolling my eyes at up but I really hate myself for wast- er not all shows are created equal. the title sequence, then 30-40 min- ing an hour every week watching The Gateway brings you mediocre utes of yelling at Rory, Lorelai, and this shit. shows we can’t take our eyes off the rest of the cast for either mak- —Lisa Szabo of. ing the stupidest decisions of any- one, ever, or reacting idiotically to Bones Mixology the aforementioned decisions that they made. Seriously, it’s so bad. But The mind-numbing repetitive- A collection of yuppies are all then, how could I just abandon these ness of Bones is nauseating and the at the same Manhattan bar try- people without knowing what hap- show’s storyline is average at best. ing to get lucky: shenanigans en- pens to their lives? Will Lorelai ever Perhaps the best thing about watch- sue. Sounds like a great pitch for get with Luke? Will Rory ever stop ing the show isn’t the sub-par char- a comedy sketch or short film, talking like a twelve-year-old child? acter dynamics, rather sitting with right? Sure, that format just might Will Lane ever ditch Rory for plainly your friends and pointing the numer- work, but let me tell you what for- being the world’s shittiest friend? ous scientific inaccuracies and the mat definitely doesn’t work: mak- The answer to all of these questions pseudo-forensics used to solve each ing an entire eleven episode sea- is ‘probably not’ . . . but I still won’t case (The whole hologram thing that son that all takes places in one bar stop watching until it’s over.—Ra- Angela pulls every episode makes me over the course of a single night. chael Phillips roll my eyes way too hard). Honestly, And you know what? It’s not the those inaccuracies have become a rushed character development Downton Abbey sort of drinking game for me (take a that bothers me; it’s not even the drink every time Brennan finds a chip shoehorned conflicts and cringe- Downton Abbey has ushered in an in the bone that somehow miracu- inducing acting. What really an- age of historical dramas trying to lously solves the case) and is probably noys me is that all of these people successfully mix upper/lower class the only reason I keep watching it. are far too attractive to ever have dynamics, scandal, and romance. The show’s writers must think that to worry about getting laid. The Pretty much any Downton wannabe a socially awkward genius protago- worst part is that the very reason has failed to do this as well as the nist singlehandedly solving crimes I can’t stand this show is the same original—believe me, I’ve watched is a TV formula for good ratings, but reason that keeps me coming back them—but the last two seasons of let’s face it; it’s over done. This sub- for more: all of these people are Downton have also come up short. ordinate CSI is just that. Subordinate. just too good looking to ignore. I’ve binge-watched every season at Instead, stick to something like Crimi- — Jason Timmons­ least twice, but lately I’m not feeling nal Minds. —Drishtant Upadhyay supplied Wes Craven, a Remembrance of a True Horror Master Michael Vecchio In the last thirty five years the the element of fantasy and com- tified horror master. any doubt of Craven’s capabilities arts & culture staff slasher film has become an un- edy to his films. With the release of A Night- and he would continue to explore deniable fixture of the Western It began modestly in 1972 with mare on Elm Street, audiences the themes of the dream world, To call someone a master can of- film market and if you ask a per- The Last House on the Left. Cra- encountered a slasher film un- humour and above all horror in ten be an exaggeration but in the son to identify a horror film their ven’s directorial debut did not like anything they had ever seen, all his future work including the case of Wes Craven, the man be- response will most likely be a receive much fanfare and while not simply directing but also Scream series where once again hind some of cinema’s most icon- slasher. Horror films began to in- it was criticized for its graphic writing the screenplay Craven he contributed to another icon of ic horror franchises, using the creasingly shift to the menacing violence and censored in some introduced the world to perhaps American cinema: Ghostface. word master is not only appro- killer who stalked and viciously markets, many critics lauded the one of the most famous and cel- The work of Wes Craven re- priate but essential. Wes Craven murdered and by the early 1970s young filmmaker’s potential in a ebrated movie killers of all time: veal’s the mind of a true artist. didn’t simply direct a few scary a young English college professor market where the films had be- Freddy Krueger. The undead and Not content in simply producing movies, he created, produced and named Wes Craven would begin come stale. Throughout the re- horribly burned serial killer who the generic scary movie Craven’s brought to life characters and sto- his foray into the movie world mainder of the ‘70s he would pro- murdered his victims in their films employed many different ries of great complexity the likes unaware of the transformative duce a number of new works most dreams, Freddy Krueger was an traits from pure imagination to of which had never been seen on effect he would have on it. Cra- notable amongst them 1977’s The ingenious combination of pure satire that resulted in movies that our screens. From A Nightmare on ven’s role in the history of the Hills Have Eyes that followed a horror, fantasy, psychology and didn’t just scare us, they made us Elm Street to Scream Craven’s films new wave of horror films cannot vacationing family hunted by a at times even comedy. With his think. While he has left us, the didn’t just scare us, they inspired be overstated, his work revealed group of nomadic mutants in the trademark razor glove, striped films he leaves behind will con- us. Now in the wake of his death a keen desire to rewrite percep- Nevada desert. With these strings sweater and brown fedora he tinue to inspire audiences and the world of cinema mourns and tions audiences had with horror of films the name Wes Craven was would become an icon of the hor- future filmmakers alike. If ever remembers the man who showed stories and he did so by melding becoming an increasingly sought ror franchise, catapulting Craven there was one to be called master, us that horror films could indeed not only terrifying personifica- after product, but it wasn’t until and star Robert Englund to star- then Wes Craven is most deserv- be works of art. tions and events but by adding 1984 that he would become a cer- dom. There could no longer be ing of that title.

supplied thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 arts & culture 17

supplied Albums that still haven’t been released yet

Jason Timmons & Joshua Storie cately worded and lighting fast fea- music hat tricks of recent history. single “Fade.” With each single Kanye arts & culture staff tures built up an unimaginable level Many of us are still revelling in the seems to further diversify himself as of hype for Telefone; hopefully she can glory that was If You’reReading This Its an artist and only further confuses We often sit, waiting with bated deliver after postponing the mixtape’s Too Late which just so happened to be fans as to what to expect with his 7th breath for our favourite artists to drop release by almost six months. the best selling album of 2015 thus far studio album SWISH. It is without a their latest and greatest offering to the (and What a Time to Be Alive is sure to doubt that the album will be genius, musical world. Equally as often, artists 4. Lil Wayne – Tha Carter V: To Lil follow suit). With all the gold he’s giv- but with his recent announcement deliver their product on time, fulfill- Wayne’s credit, this one isn’t even his en us this year its hard to believe that that he will be running for President ing our need for the music we love. fault. Constant postponement of Tha Drake has more in store for us. Views and many of his creative efforts being Every so often an artist fails to deliver Carter V has left fans thirsty for any From the Six is setting itself up to be directed to Yeezy Season 2 it feels like on schedule for one reason or another, new music they can get their hands on one of the most legendary releases of his album is not his top priority. How- and we, the fans, are left waiting end- and Lil Wayne has graciously obliged, 2015 if not the past 10 years. So while ever, Kanye always fucking kills it and lessly while the hype does nothing but feeding the public mixtape after mix- you put the finishing touches on one SWISH will be no exception. grow. Here’s our picks for the Top 5 al- tape to make up for the forced post- of the most highly anticipated albums bums that can’t arrive soon enough. ponement. If you want to blame some- of this year, we will continue to sweat 1. Frank Ocean – Boys Don’t Cry: one for this, blame Birdman. Still, the it out in Black Dog and cook hot dogs July has come and gone and we are 5. Noname Gypsy – Telefone: lack of Wayne’s supposedly final al- over your latest project. still waiting for Frank’s album. The While not technically an album, the bum is leaving fans with a sour taste in 27 year old is notorious for keeping much-awaited debut mixtape of their mouths regarding his legacy. It’s 2. Kanye West – SWISH: Kanye quiet when we need him most, and Chicago rapper Noname Gypsy is a shame to see the fans suffer because has given us a multitude of great sin- despite the three fantastic singles he’s taking far too long to arrive. Appear- of a dispute between artists. gles and features to keep our ears busy released via tumblr and the converse ing alongside Chance the Rapper on since his 2013 masterpiece Yeezus. three artists one song series — “Hero,” “Lost” and the Social Experiment on 3. Drake – Views From the Six: Some of which include, “Only One,” “Memrise” and a cover of The Isley “Warm Enough” has firmly cemented With the collaborative effort Drake “Wolves,” and most recently a guest Brother’s “(At Your Best) You are Love” her as one of Chicago’s most interest- released with Future, the Six God is appearance on Travis Scott’s “Piss on — the world is still begging for more ing up-and-coming artists. Her intri- setting himself for one of the biggest Your Grave” as well as Kanye’s latest Frank. for all students with STUDENT ID FROM PEPPERONI pizzaTO PERFECTLY-BAKED cookies.

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Golden Bears Football vs University of Manitoba September 25 - 7:00pm vs Foote Field Free Admission for UofA students

CANADA WEST CONFERENCE GAMES CANADA WEST CONFERENCE GAMES 4 Fri Oct 23 7:00pm Mount Royal 6 Fri Oct 9 7:00pm Lethbridge CANADA WEST CONFERENCE GAMES Fri Nov 6 7:00pm Manitoba Sat Oct 10 2:00pm Lethbridge 4 Fri Sep 25 7:00pm Manitoba 2015 Brick Invitational Sat Nov 7 6:00pm Manitoba Fri Oct 16 7:00pm Regina 6 Sat Oct 3 1:00pm British Columbia Friday 1 Sat Nov 14 6:00pm Calgary Sat Oct 17 2:00pm Regina 1 Sat Oct 31 1:00pm Calgary Fri Nov 27 7:00pm Lethbridge 1 Sat Oct 24 6:00pm Mount Royal 7pm vs NAIT Ooks 2 CANADA WEST PLAYOFFS 3 Sat Nov 28 6:00pm Lethbridge Fri Oct 30 7:00pm Saskatchewan Saturday Nov 7 Semifinals 5 Fri Jan 15 7:00pm British Columbia 2 Sat Oct 31 2:00pm Saskatchewan Nov 14 Hardy Cup 6pm vs Saskatchewan Sat Jan 16 6:00pm British Columbia 3 Fri Nov 13 7:00pm Calgary CIS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP Fri Jan 22 7:00pm Regina Fri Nov 20 7:00pm British Columbia Nov 21 Uteck Bowl CWUAA vs AUS Sat Jan 23 6:00pm Regina Sat Nov 21 2:00pm British Columbia Nov 28 Vanier Cup @ Laval 6 Fri Jan 29 7:00pm Calgary Fri Jan 8 7:00pm Manitoba 2015 Sofaland Men’s Volleyball Classic Fri Feb 5 7:00pm Saskatchewan Sat Jan 9 2:00pm Manitoba 2 Sat Feb 6 6:00pm Saskatchewan 4 Sat Jan 30 6:00pm Calgary Thursday

1 Bear Bell Night Sat Feb 13 6:00pm Mount Royal 5 Fri Feb 12 7:00pm Mount Royal 8pm vs UBCO Free Bear Bell for first 200 fans CANADA WEST PLAYOFFS CANADA WEST PLAYOFFS 2 Family Night Friday $5 off Family Pack & gameday family activities Feb 19-21 Quarterfinals Feb 19-21 Quarterfinals 8pm vs Calgary 3 Kids Go Free Feb 26-28 Semifinals Feb 26-28 Semifinals Free Student Ticket with Adult Ticket purchase Saturday 4 Legacy Game Mar 4-6 Finals Mar 4-6 Finals Free T-shirt for the first 300 fans 7pm vs Thompson Rivers 5 Mac’n’Cheese Night CIS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP CIS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP Free Box of Mac’n’Cheese for the first 200 fans 6 Rally Towel Night Mar 17-20 @ Halifax (SMU) Mar 17-20 @Calgary Free Rally Towel for the first 400 fans

CANADA WEST CONFERENCE GAMES CANADA WEST CONFERENCE GAMES Pandas Golden Bears Pandas Golden Bears CANADA WEST CONFERENCE GAMES 6 Fri Oct 16 6:00pm 7:30pm Thompson Rivers Fri Sep 25 5:00pm Fraser Valley Pandas Golden Bears 2 Sat Oct 17 6:30pm 5:00pm Thompson Rivers Sat Sep 26 2:00pm Mount Royal 4 Fri Nov 13 6:00pm 8:00pm Winnipeg Fri Nov 6 6:00pm 7:30pm Saskatchewan Sun Sep 27 12:00pm Trinity Western 1 Sat Nov 14 5:00pm 7:00pm Winnipeg Sat Nov 7 6:30pm 5:00pm Saskatchewan 2:15pm Calgary Fri Nov 27 6:00pm 8:00pm Regina Fri Nov 20 6:00pm 7:30pm Manitoba Wed Sep 30 5:00pm MacEwan 3 Sat Nov 28 5:00pm 7:00pm Regina Sat Nov 21 6:30pm 5:00pm Manitoba Fri Oct 2 4:00pm Calgary Fri Jan 15 6:00pm 8:00pm Victoria 1 Fri Dec 4 6:00pm 7:30pm Brandon Sun Oct 4 12:00pm Lethbridge 6 Sat Jan 16 5:00pm 7:00pm Victoria 3 Sat Dec 5 6:30pm 5:00pm Brandon Sat Oct 10 12:00pm UNBC 5 Fri Feb 5 6:00pm 8:00pm Trinity Western 4 Fri Jan 22 6:00pm 7:30pm British Columbia Sun Oct 11 12:00pm UNBC 2 Sat Feb 6 5:00pm 7:00pm Trinity Western Sat Jan 23 6:30pm 5:00pm British Columbia Sat Oct 24 2:00pm Saskatchewan Say Feb 20 5:00pm 7:00pm Calgary 5 Fri Feb 12 6:00pm 7:30pm Calgary Sun Oct 25 2:00pm Saskatchewan CANADA WEST PLAYOFFS Sat Feb 13 6:30pm 5:00pm Calgary CANADA WEST PLAYOFFS Feb 26-28 Play In Series CANADA WEST PLAYOFFS Oct 31 Quarterfinals Mar 4-6 Quarterfinals Feb 26-28 Quarterfinals Nov 5-8 Final Four Mar 11-12 Final Four Mar 4-6 Final Four Nov 7-8 Final Four CIS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP CIS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP CIS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP Mar 17-20 @UNB @UBC Mar 11-13 @Brandon @McMaster Nov 12-15 @UBC @York

Oct 23 CW Semifinals @ Edmonton Oct 25 CW Finals @ Edmonton Nov 5-8 CIS Championship @ Queens University

Jan 8-9 Golden Bears Invitational Feb 12-13 CW Championship @ Winnipeg Feb 26-27 CIS Championship @ Brock

Feb 12-14 Prairie Regionals @ Edmonton Aug 12-14 University & College Championship @ Montreal

Oct 18-20 Canada West Golf Championship May 28-Jun 3 University/College Championship @Parksville, BC

Feb 26-28 CIS/CCA Western Regionals @ Saville Centre Mar 19-23 CIS CCA University Championship @ Kelowna

Oct 31 Stewart Cup @ Hawrelak Park Nov 14 CIS Championship @ Guelph, ON

Nov 27-29 CW Finals @ UBC Feb 13 UofA/UofC Dual Meet @ UofA Pool Feb 26-28 CIS Championship @ Laval

$12 Jan 22-23 Golden Bears Open $6.50 Feb 12-13 Golden Bears Challenge Feb 26-27 CW Championship @ Saskatoon, SK Mar 10-12 CIS Championship @ Toronto, ON thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 sports 19

Sports Editor Email Zach Borutski [email protected] Phone Twitter 780.492.5168 @zachsprettycool

Volunteer Sports Sports meetings every Wednesday at 3pm in SUB 3-04 Bears hockey has new coach, but desire to win still remains

Zach Borutski the ACAC’s top coach in 2014 and sports editor @zachsprettycool 2015. Lajoie noted that him and Her- The University of Alberta Golden bers will have different coaching Bears hockey team may have a new styles behind the bench. coach, but the expectation to win “What Ian believes in in terms is just as strong as it was as before. of building relationships is in all After previous head coach Ian likelihood different than for me,” Hebers ended an extremely suc- Lajoie noted. cessful three-year run — in which “I’m a little bit more open, I wear he won two national champion- my emotions on my sleeve a little ships at the U of A — to accept a more, and I think he’s aware of that position as an assistant coach with and wanted me to create my own the Edmonton Oilers, the Bears relationships with players based on found his replacement in previous my observations.” assistant coach and player, Serge Lajoie also stressed the value of Lajoie. hard work on the ice. Lajoie said he was honoured to “At the end of the day, talent is be chosen to succeed Herbers. a beautiful commodity, but unless “My immediate reaction was that you pair it with hard work, you it was quite an honor to have Stan never fully reach your potential,” and Ian contact me, and to put Lajoie said. me at the top of their list of candi- “I’ve challenged our leadership dates,” Lajoie said. group and our strongest players to “It was very flattering, and as be our hardest workers, and I think the process moves forward, excite- we’ve taken some good steps for- ment replaces the feeling of being ward with that approach.” honored to be recognized and con- Further than that, Lajoie believes sidered.” in taking things one step at a time, Lajoie is in a familiar situation, and not constantly looking back or as he was an assistant coach with forward. the Bears from 2005-2010. Before “Focus on today, it’s one step at a that, he was a player for five seasons time, and it’s keeping our focus on starting in 1988. Over his Bears our very next step,” Lajoie noted. career, he racked up 141 points in “We could constantly look back at 198 total games as a defenceman. commitment to excellence They may have a new coach, but the Bears hockey team still has a commitment to winning. supplied - nait our games, but if you’re constantly Lajoie also won the Mervyn “Red” looking back and not focusing on Dutton trophy as Canada West’s Lajoie was also very familiar with ity in terms of coaching philosophy that’s because he wants me to get your next step, then you’ll never top defenceman in 1993, his final the man he’s replacing, as him and and system philosophy, so it’s a to know the players myself, and de- reach your ultimate goal.” season as a Bear. Herbers were teammates on the honor to be able to replace him.” velop those relationships without “We know what our ultimate goal “I always say, as a player I grew Bears from 1988-1992, and the When asked if Herbers had given that prior knowledge,” Lajoie said. is – we want to position ourselves to up here, as a person I developed two won a national championship him any advice before stepping Even though Lajoie has big shoes compete for a national champion- here,” Lajoie said. together in 1992. into the roll, Lajoie laughed and to fill, he is certainly no stranger ship, and the best and quickest way “I think the biggest familiarity for “I leaned heavily on Ian to guide said: “Don’t mess it up.” to success in the coaching world. to reach that goal is to focus on to- me is understanding that Golden me, because I’m relatively a young He said that Herbers was intent He won two national titles with day.” Bear hockey program and culture, head coach, he became a sort of on having him forge his own path the Bears as an assistant coach Lajoie will make his regular and knowing the expectations that mentor to me,” Lajoie said. as coach of the Bears. in 2006 and 2008, and won two season debut behind the bench on go along with being the head coach “That has helped with this transi- “He was very calculated in the in- ACAC titles coaching with NAIT in the road against the Lethbridge of such a prestigious program.” tion, there’s been a lot of continu- formation he gave me, and I know 2013 and 2015. He was also named Pronghorns on Friday, Oct. 9. Outdoors club looks to provide affordable escapes for students

Zach Borutski events, and more sort of camping “The back country in Iceland is sports editor @zachsprettycool trips.” some of the most rugged and un- This range of skill level and de- touched country out there.” Since its inception in 1939, the mands also extends to the members Students that are interested in University of Alberta outdoors of the club itself, with many mem- joining or finding out more about club has been working to provide bers wanting to embark on more the club are encouraged to sign up something that many people assume technical hiking and climbing trips, for their mailing list, and stop by to be inaccessible to students: with others wanting to partake in the club’s office in the basement of affordable outdoor excursions. more casual camping trips and fire the south Education building, room Three years ago, current Outdoors nights. 64H. Club president Kaz Haykowsky was “We have a lot of people who have Membership passes for the club just a casual member of the club, never camped before, they don’t can either be bought at their office, but then he decided to go on the have any gear, they don’t have any or through the customer service of- club’s annual New Year’s trip to the experience with it and they just fice in the Van Vilet complex. All California coast. He cited that trip want to get out to the Rockies,” trips are run at cost, and gear is as a major turning point for his in- Haykowsky said. rented our for free to students, for a volvement in the club. The club consistently hosts events deposit that will be returned when “It really showed me the value of throughout the school year, un- the gear is returned. great outdoors. the club and the type of incredible til the weather starts to cool down Haykowsky believes the Outdoors people it attracts, and the atmo- in December and January. These club provides a very important and sphere that it fosters,” Haykowsky events are detailed in the club’s unique service to U of A students. said. weekly newsletter, which can be ob- “I think our club is truly unique Now in 2015, Haykowsky and his tained by signing up for their mail- on campus because it truly con- student executive team plan trips ing list. For those who aren’t on the nects people to the mountains and for people of all skill levels, and try mailing list, an event calendar is nature in a way no other club can,” to strike a balance between a variety also provided on the club’s website. Haykowsky said. of outdoor activities. Most of the trips the club books “The big appeal for being in the “This year we’ve got a range of end up being in either the United outdoors is that, for a lot of stu- experience levels on our executive States or Canada, but Haykowsky dents, it can be really inaccessible, team, so some people want to run a noted that his ultimate dream trip a lot of students don’t have vehicles, lot of really technical climbing and would be to take a group of students a lot of students are super busy, so mountain traverse sort of trips,” camping in Iceland. when you get a free weekend that Haykowsky said. “I think there’s a lot of availabil- rolls around, you want to just be “Others want to run more in city ity with gorgeous campsites there,” able to jump on one of these trips.” fire nights or interesting social Haykowsky said. There’s a reason it’s called the the great outdoors U of A Outdoors Club plans cheap trips for students. supplied sports 20

Varsity sports roundup pandas soccer 0 - 2 1 - 3

After opening the season at home with a draw and a win, the Pandas soccer team had a rough road trip through B.C., losing to the UBC Thunderbirds on Friday, and the Victoria Vikes on Saturday. The Pandas dino demolition The Bears gave up a record amount of points in their loss to the Dinos this past weekend. jim corry were shutout by the Thunderbirds during the first game of the week- end, and were thoroughly outplayed as well as they were outshot 17-4 by the home side. Although they weren’t able to crack the score sheet Dinos take bite out of Bears in the first half, they struck early in the second, as halftime substitute Nicole Sydor found the back of the net in the 49th minute. Rookie for- Zach Borutski amassed 973 yards of total offence Timmis, adding two touchdowns of ward Amelia Crawford put the game away in the 74th minute, deflecting sports editor @zachsprettycool on a young Bears defense that had his own, and rushing for 147 yards a cross past Pandas keeper Lauren Morrison. been able to bend without breaking on 12 carries. The Pandas managed only one shot on goal the entire game. Things The Golden Bears football team had over the first two games. It’s safe to It was also a record setting day for didn’t get better on Saturday, as the Vikes bested Alberta 3-1. The Pandas’ a flair for the dramatic over the first say they were broken by Calgary on Dinos kicker Johnny Mark, who be- attack was more spirited in the second game, but Vikes goalkeeper two weeks of the season, orchestrat- this day. came the CIS’ all time leading points Meaghan Storie stood strong between the posts, stopping all 12 shots ing comeback wins in back-to-back “Their offence was the part that scorer with a convert in the first directed her way. The Pandas, who now sit at 1-2-1 on the season, return games. really hurt us,” Morris added. quarter. Mark would ultimately fin- home for two more tough games this weekend against the University There was nothing dramatic about “You can’t compete with someone ish the game with 20 points, making of Fraser Valley Cascades on Friday, Sept. 25, and the Trinity Western their game against Calgary though, when they score touchdowns on you his new record total 442, with five Spartans on Sunday, Sept. 27. - Zach Borutski as the Dinos took them to the wood- on seven straight possessions.” games still remaining in the regular shed in an 80-18 defeat on Thursday The Bears attack was far from the season. night. worst part of their game, tallying a Ultimately, the Bears really Head coach Chris Morris spoke respectable 412 yards of total of- can’t salvage many positives from pandas rugby about how the Bears just didn’t mea- fence, including 180 rushing yards, a 62-point loss, and Morris main- sure up to the dominant Dinos. which is the most the Dinos have tained that the best course of action “We talked all week about how in surrendered in a single game all sea- would be to forget about the game order to beat this team, we were go- son. and focus on Manitoba, who are a ing to have to be very good as far as “We did move the ball fairly well very good team in their own right. assignments go, and we were going through the course of the game,” “We have to be aware that they’ve to have to match them emotionally,” Morris said, speaking about his of- seen us now, and they know what 19 - 34 Morris said. fence. we do,” Morris said. “We didn’t do any of that – we “I don’t think our offence was “We had some success against didn’t match them emotionally, we incredibly behind the Calgary de- them last year, and we have to make The Pandas rugby team got off to a tough start this season, dropping didn’t execute effectively, we made fence, whereas our defence... when sure that we have counters in place their opening game to inter-province rivals the Calgary Dinos 34-19 on a lot of mistakes, (and) those things somebody gets close to 1000 yards in case they do come up with a plan Sunday. It was a tightly contested game, in the first half, with Calgary come back to me, that’s my job to on you, there’s going to be a lot of for the things we’ve been successful holding a slim 7-5 lead heading into the half time interval. However, the make sure the kids are prepared and soul searching.” with in the past.” Pandas ran out of steam in the second half, getting outscored 27-14, and that they have a plan that they be- Kopczynski completed 15 of 32 The Bisons themselves are coming allowing five tries by the Dinos. lieve in.” passes for 231 yards, to go along off a hotly contested 51-48 loss to Despite tries of their own from Julia Goss, Sarah Haring, and Aline The Dinos started the onslaught with one touchdown and two in- the UBC Thunderbirds, and sit at 1-2 Wicklum, the Pandas could not hang with the Dinos, who avenged their early, amassing a 21-0 lead after the terceptions, while also rushing 39 overall in Canada West. While they loss to the Pandas at last year’s Canada West finals. Alberta will take the first quarter, and managed to score yards on 11 attempts. Running back have an explosive offense, one that Lethbridge Pronghorns on Oct. 4, while the Dinos will hit the road for a on their first five possessions, build- Ed Ilnicki also contributed 89 rush- is scoring over 40 points a game, two game weekend, taking on the UBC Thunderbirds on Friday, Sept. 25, ing a 42-0 lead before Alberta was ing yards on 16 attempts. their defense is allowing over 40 and the Victoria Vikes on Sunday, Sept. 27. - Zach Borutski able to find the scoresheet. On Calgary’s side of the ball, tail points a game as well, which should Quarterback Ben Kopczynski was back Mercer Timmis only had three play well into the Bears hands. eventually able to get the Bears on carries before leaving the game as Calgary meanwhile, will go on the the board, cashing in on a one-yard a precautionary measure, but still road to take on the winless Regina bears soccer touchdown run late in the second managed to rush for 100 yards and Rams, who are quickly falling out quarter. By that point, the game was two touchdowns, including a 54 of the hotly contested Canada West well beyond saving. yard run that put the Dinos up 14-0. playoff picture, on Saturday, Sept. The Dinos set at CIS scoring record Backup running back Jershun Antwi 26. The Bears will play the Bisons at vs. with 80 points in a game, and also more than picked up the slack for home on Friday, Sept. 25.

vs.

Coming off their bye week for the season, the Bears are making their home debut this weekend at Foote Field. Last weekend, the Bears got off to a hot start on the road, blowing out the Lethbridge Pronghorns 6-1 last Friday. Fifth year Mohamed Teliani led the offensive charge for Bears, recording a hat trick, while Shamit Shome added two goals, and Tolu Esan added one of his own. The Bears thoroughly dominated the Pronghorns for the entirety of the match, as Riley Flint scored their lone goal, breaking the Bears clean sheet in the 74th minute. The Saskatchewan Huskies gave the Bears a bigger challenge in the second game of the weekend, playing them tight for the majority of the match. Teliani and Esan scored again for the Bears, while Lukas Prenner added his first goal of the season in the 78th minute to put the game out of reach. The Bears will another undefeated team this weekend in the Mount Royal Cougars on Saturday, Sept. 26, and the Calgary Dinos on Sunday, Sept.27. - Zach Borutski jim corry thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 sports 21 The Best Team Money can Buy an engaging read throughout

Jason Shergill ers current owners) in trying to bring the same for the role players, coaches sports staff a championship to Los Angeles while and front office members of this team. galvanizing the city much like the As well, Knight encapsulates the Often, events in sports come across as Magic Johnson-led “showtime” Lak- Dodgers 42-8 run in 2013 perfectly as a proxy for a fictional story. So much ers did in the 1980s (Johnson has she shows the joviality and surrealism of the time in the sporting world, a likely been made one of the more of that run while fittingly putting the game or season or career is attached conspicuous members of the Guggen- confounding discovery and breakout to a series of foreshadowing, meta- heim Partners for this purpose). She of Yasiel Puig right in the centre of phors, allegories and numerous other also details how the team’s former it. While perhaps it would have been literary devices that make it seem like owner, Frank McCourt, plunged the interesting to more accurately show the sports world is just too cliché to be team into bankruptcy in 2011, and how well the team was grabbing the true. how this has made the current own- interest of the city and building the Whether it’s the Seattle Seahawks ers make a point to reconcile with team’s brand locally, Knight reveals tempting fate by passing on the 1-yard fans, reinvest in the city and wildly an impressive amount of intel of the line in this year’s Super Bowl, the 2004 spend to the point where they have clubhouse and manages to show the Boston Red Sox finding that the only been the first team to surpass the New tone of each the 2013 and 2014 sea- way they could break their 86-year York Yankees in their team salary in sons very well for the Dodgers. title drought was to come back from the 21st century. Today, the Dodgers are weeks away an unprecedented 3-0 series deficit For the on-the-field side of things, from another playoff run, while they against their archrival Yankees, or the Knight uses her insider knowledge of are expected to employ a winner of the “show me a hero and I will write you the Dodgers clubhouse to show you NL Cy Young award for the 4th time in a tragedy”-esque tale of Dwayne Ro- the ins and outs of stars like Clayton 5 years, and stand as a collection of loson and the 2006 Edmonton Oilers, Kershaw, Zach Grienke, Matt Kemp, larger than life characters that boast professional sports leagues find a way and Adrian Gonzalez, as well as the the largest average attendance in the to make these stories almost too en- meteoric rise of Yasiel Puig. Much is MLB. They have a new crop of young tertaining to be true. No franchise has learned in this book about the near- stars coming in such as Joc Pederson been more emblematic of this quality firing of manager Don Mattingly, and Corey Seager, and have pockets in the last few years as the Los Angeles what lead to the Dodgers playoff loss- deep enough to fill any potential holes Dodgers, which is what made Molly es in 2013 and 2014, and the rising that could arise on the field with one of Knight’s, The Best Team Money Can disdain in the clubhouse for the antics the most respected front offices in the Buy: The Los Angeles Dodgers’ Wild of Puig since his arrival to America major leagues. With all that’s going Struggle To Build a Baseball Power- from Cuba. on with this team, it would not come house, a attention-capturing read. The book does a fantastic job of re- as a surprise that more drama in the Knight takes you on the adventure vealing the character and personality near future could spark the need for a of Guggenheim Partners (the Dodg- behind these stars while also doing sequel to this book in a few years. spending spree Molly Knight explores the Dodgers’ journey to contention. supplied What if Wayne Gretzky hadn’t dodged the 1979 NHL draft? Cameron Lewis 18 that year, but Peter Pocklington, the despite having the sixth worst record in merged into the league with them in up from the pits of oblivion. If that was editor-in-chief @cooom owner of the Oilers at the time, man- the league that season. 1979. The Hartford Whalers, the Que- the case, and the Rockies continued to aged to find a loophole that would for- Gretzky chose the Oilers and the rest bec Nordiques, and Winnipeg Jets (the exist thanks to Gretzky, the Nordiques Wayne Gretzky has the most stacked ever change the landscape of the NHL. is history. The Rockies ended up select- first version) all enjoyed a reasonable would have been moved elsewhere trophy case on the planet. What would have happened if the ing defenceman Rob Ramage with the amount of success, but never managed in 1995 and the Colorado Avalanche I mean, the guy has an entire Wikipe- league hadn’t allowed Gretzky to dodge first pick, who was a good player in his to win a Stanley Cup or play at the level wouldn’t exist today. dia article titled “List of career achieve- the draft? The NHL wouldn’t be the own right, but represented a very bitter the Oilers did throughout the 1980s. It’s impossible to say how it all would ments” dedicated to his incredible same, and there’s a decent chance the consolation prize to the best player ever Now the Jets are in Phoenix, the Whal- have played out, but my guess is that career. He owns just about every scor- Oilers wouldn’t exist today. to play the game. The Oilers and Gretz- ers are in Carolina, and the Nordiques Gretzky would have pulled something ing record in the NHL, and he’s won It was a tricky situation because ky went on to win four Stanley Cups are in Colorado and the Oilers are the similar to what Eric Lindros did in 1991 the Stanley Cup four times. He’s also a teams being absorbed from the WHA together in between 1979 and 1988 only team left standing from the 1979 when he refused to play for the Nor- nine-time Hart Trophy winner for the in the NHL merger were allowed to pro- forming arguably the most dominant WHA-NHL merger. Had it not have diques who drafted him first overall. league’s Most Valuable Player, and he’s tect a handful of players to begin build- dynasty in the history of professional been for Gretzky, there’s a chance the Lindros was eventually traded to the eight-time NHL First Team All-Star. ing their team around. Since Gretzky sports over that time. The Rockies, on Oilers would have shared the same fate Philadelphia Flyers, because they were There’s one trophy, though, that he was technically draft eligible due to his the other hand, were moved to New Jer- as their merger cousins due to a lack of more marketable, it was an english never won: the Calder Trophy for the age, he was barred from being one of sey and are now known as the Devils. success both on the ice and financially. speaking city, and it was ultimately league’s top rookie. the players the Oilers protected. Pock- Maybe you’ve heard of them. What does that mean for the Rock- better for his career. I suspect Gretzky It certainly wasn’t because there was lington argued that he should be able So how does this affect the league? ies? There’s a good chance the Rockies would have been dealt to another team a better rookie. In Gretzky’s debut sea- to keep Gretzky because he had him First of all, the Oilers would have been wouldn’t have stayed in Colorado, large- for a massive package of players and son with the Oilers in 1979-80, Gretzky signed to a personal services contract far from the team they were with ly because they had been purchased in draft picks who would eventually be- scored 51 goals and 137 points and was rather than a standard player contract, Gretzky putting up video game num- 1978 by a businessman named Arthur come members of the New Jersey Dev- awarded with the Hart Trophy. The meaning that he would have to void the bers year after year. It’s hard to say if Imperatore who had intentions of mov- ils. Whatever team Gretzky was traded honour of top rookie was given to Bos- deal himself to be eligible for the draft, other great forwards like Mark Messier, ing the team to New Jersey as soon as to would have become the dynasty of ton Bruins’ defenceman Ray Bourque, otherwise the Oilers and Pocklington Jarri Kurri, and Glenn Anderson would the city had a suitable stadium. He the 1980s, while the Oilers would have who had a respectable 17 goals and 65 would retain his services. have had Hall of Fame careers without ended up selling the team in 1982 to had a mediocre level of success like points. So Gretzky, being an incredible tal- Gretzky, which also begs the question a millionaire in New Jersey, but if the the Jets, Nordiques, and Whalers did. This wasn’t some anti-Gretzky league ent that could change the fortunes of as to whether the team would have Rockies had been gifted Gretzky, the There’s a fair chance the team would conspiracy, though. Gretzky was in- any franchise, was given the choice to been good enough to ever win a Stanley team would be infinitely more market- have been moved in the 1990s like the eligible for the Calder Trophy because either join the Oilers in their transfer, Cup without him. They did win once able and valuable, meaning Imperatore other three were, but I’m sure that a he wasn’t technically a rookie since he or be selected first overall by the strug- after he was traded to the Los Angeles would have likely hung on to them. struggling franchise like the Atlanta had played for the Oilers in the World gling Colorado Rockies. No, not the Kings, but it’s impossible to know what I really doubt getting Gretzky would Thrashers or Phoenix Coyotes would Hockey Association before they were Major League Baseball team, there was the team would have been like without have changed Imperatore’s mind about have filled Northlands Colosseum- be absorbed into the NHL that season. He a really, really bad team in the NHL him. the Rockies playing in Colorado, but it’s fore too long. was supposed to be eligible for the 1979 called the Colorado Rockies once upon Let’s say that his presence was missed a lot more likely the franchise would I’m happy it worked out the way it NHL Entry Draft because the league had a time. They only existed for six years so much that the team was about as suc- have survived thanks to having the did. Thank god for personal services just lowered the drafting age from 20 to and they only made the playoffs once cessful as the other three teams who best player in the league pull the team contracts.

supplied diversions 22 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015

Design & Production Editor Email Adaire Beatty [email protected]

Phone Twitter 780.492.5168 @adairejean iversions Volunteer D Diversions meetings every Friday at 2pm in SUB 3-04

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modern asian familY by Stefano Jun thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 9 diversions 23

Autumn Hipster Feels by Kathy Hui Results will be posted online the following week! Email [email protected] 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Twitter 14 15 16 @adairejean SEEKING: 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 BRIGHT IDEAS 24 25 26 27

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36 37 38 39 FOR A BETTER

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70 71 72

73 74 75

Across 28. Irish female spirit 57. Not here 1. Apple Player 32. Fifth Greek alphabet 59. “You do you __ I’ll do __” 5. IQ club 36. A long long time ___ 60. Pulled by horses 10. Not rich 37. Top of the pipe 63. Ditches 14. Singer Lovato 39. Neck part 67. The 6ix synonym 15. Hunting motion 40. Drug buster cop 68. However… (abbr.) 16. Major and minor constellation 42. Phone number (abbr.) 69. Canadians totally live in these 17. Belonging to Barbie’s boyfriend 43. Current month 70. Canadians definitely sleep in these 18. Soup or fruit form 44. Knight’s body shield (at parks) 19. Med school prereq 46. Paddles 71. Dream (Fr.) 20. PART 2 49. Actress Farmiga 72. A god 22. Elastic Heart singer 50. Stuck in a ___ 73. A U2 bandmate 23. Extra 52. The One 74. Enter without tee 24. Overly neat person’s condition? 53. Non-written test 75. Delete 26. Grabbed 54. Falls in fall

Down 21. Sound reflection 45. Street (Fr.) 1. Text “I dunnos” 23. “Help!” in the sand 47. 8-Down ______2. Tiny look 25. State of owing money 48. To plant 3. Of all things 27. Choose in or out 49. Traveler 4. 70’s clubs 28. Actor Eric from The Time Traveler’s 51. Statistics measurement (2 words) 5. Provincial gov’t reps Wife 54. PART 3 6. Belonging to Edmonton Rugby Union 29. Petri dish goo 55. Finished 7. Seaweed 30. Status quo 56. With others 8. ______47-Down 31. “Best day ___!” 58. Follow the rules 9. Malted barley beer 33. Red pointer 61. Two fives for _ ___ 10. PART 1 34. Italian songs and play 62. To move aimlessly The U of A alumni network 11. Murderous dolphin? 35. Himilayan country 64. Link’s friend in Legend of Zelda 12. Long ridge of sand & gravel 38. Tesla’s Mr. Musk 65. Plenty 13. Score 41. Fancy Chevy 66. Type of fried meat wants to help you help others. it’s sweater weather! What does your favourite sweater look like? Apply for up to $2,500 to support your campus project to improve student health, student life or the campus community.

Apply online by Sept. 30. uab.ca/alumgrants advertisement 24 thegateway www.gtwy.ca September 23, 2015

MEET JENNA COLEMAN STAR OF DOCTOR WHO 2015 Edmonton Expo guests include:

Amber Brian Chloe David James Michael Sebastian Stan Taryn Gail John Ken Kevin Kurtis Benson O’Halloran Bennet Giuntoli Marsters Rooker Roche Lee* Manning Simone Gallagher Kelly Eastman Wiebe September 25-27 • Edmonton EXPO Centre at Northlands EdmontonExpo.com

* STAN LEE will be appearing Friday and Saturday ONLY. All images are copyright their respective creators. The guest list is subject to change.