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8 February Issue 1999 1135

KEEP THE CAT FREE EST 1949 The Students' Newspaper at Imperial College Dobson on Health at IC

The candid Secretary of State for Health, By Andrew Ofori training could be achieved "by the sys Frank Dobson, delivered an even-handed, tematic spread of best practice and the self-effacing speech to a particularly well wrong with it - are put tem. monitoring of that best practice." attended meeting of the ICU Labour Soci righl and it is placed "To put the NHS The Cabinet Minister ended his speech ety on Thursday 28 January. From the out in a position where it in a position where it by opening the floor to questions, where set he warned the receptive audience that can cope with the can cope with admit upon he was subjected to a forthright and his public speaking was so soporific that it various challenges tedly new challenges," salient session of questioning. In answer had been known to send him to sleep and changes of the was how Mr Dobson to the claim that the NHS survives on a vast while he was making the speeches. Main coming century." assessed his current amount of overtime put in by doctors, Mr taining this light-hearted tone he quoted The Health Sec role. To this end there Dobson agreed that the system is main how one national paper had characterised retary then launched would need to be tained by the hard work of all NHS staff. He his incongruence with the re-vamped an attack on how | more money invested remarked that he in fact had an appoint Labour Party: "He is to New Labour what "pointy-headed" in the system, and a ment with the Prime Minister later that the Norweigian entry is the Furovision economists temper consequent improve day where he would discuss a pay increase song contest." his best intentions ment in equipment for medical staff next week. He also pre Mr Dobson used his time to focus on with considerations and the working envi sented the opposing view, claiming he the current stability and future prospects of such as the popula ronment. Above all often spoke to members of the medical fra the NHS, introducing the topic by describ tion's increasing 1 Dobson called for a ternity who complained that there col longevity, new phar ing the values underpinning "the most vast development in leagues did not work hard enough, to maceuticals, and || popular institution in Britain by a very con working practice, which he would reply "you know who they innovation in treat- I siderable distance". Describing its "quality finding the news are, you do something about it." ment; factors which j and equality", he contended that its success media too often The Secretary of State later found it they view as sources and incomparable convenience were engrossedin the puni necessary to qualify his stance on the derived from it being purely tax-funded, of excess pressure on Photo: Jonas Dobson deep In thought tive measures meted selective administration of drugs, in par and went on to state the Government's the NHS of the to those who are at ticular the controversial Viagra. He responsibility to the system "is to try to future. He insisted that the demographics fault, he expounded the virtues of ensur reminded people that "it's the National make sure the things that are wrong with of the population indicated there can only ing a high quality service from the outset. Health Service not the National Recre the Health Service - and there are things be an ease in the current strain on the sys The required standard of education and ational Service."

Chelsea Lose at Harlington Inside..m

Chelsea suffered a demoralising loss By Andrew Ofori helped themselves." recently, but on this occasion it was not The discovery was made when the Letters 6 at the hands of Arsenal. While the Pre players were changing after showers - miership team was training at Harlington and various members of the team Columns 8 on 28 January, their changing rooms noticed some of their personal a effects were raided and six unfortunate mem had disappeared. I our watches with a Film 12 bers of the team lost valuable posses total value of £18,000, a wrist bracelet sions. worth £1,000 and a significant amount of Sabb Interviews 14 Harlington, the Imperial College cash were missing. The thieves' haul was Union Sports Ground, houses Imperial believed to total around £20,000. Music 16 College and Chelsea FC changing rooms The Police have mounted an exten in a single building, with Chelsea's facil sive investigation involving the CID. A Arts 20 ities being cordoned off from the col Scotland Yard spokesman refused to lege's section. The parties also run these identify the specific victims, and merely Clubscene 22 facilities separately; Chelsea provide their commented "It appears to have been a own security in the form of two guards, fairly straight forward theft while the play Games 24 but as stated by Mick Reynolds, Harling- ers were out training." Chelsea have ton's Head Groundsman, the thieves upgraded security measures at Harling Sport 26 clearly "got past them easily." Unim ton, with staff locking all doors and pressed with such inept security he con Chelsea's Glanfranco Zola Is far from patrolling corridors, but as Mr Reynolds Crossword 28 tinued: "someone just walked in and pleased with the loss put it "unfortunately it's a little bit too late." 2 News 8 February 1999 Chem Eng Revue Review

On Tuesday 2 February the Chemical Chemical Engineering Society for their Engineering Society held its Annual By Padraig McCluskey hard work over the past 50 years which revue In dB's. A large crowd of approx has lead them to their current strong issue 1135 imately 100 were in attendance to wit position. ness a great night of entertainment. After the interval the old hacks (4th 8 February 1999 The evening started when mem years) made their appearance stage left, bers of the third year treated the audi presenting "Whose degree is it any Editor: Ed Sexton ence to a sketch entitled "Alan Jones - way?" This sketch took the format of the Assistant Editor & Films: David Roberts Beat this for puns per minute". This was similarly titled Channel 4 programme. News Editor: Andrew Oforl a delightfully well-written sketch with the The last sketch of the evening was Music Editors: Dennis Patrickson innuendos flowing thick and fast. Next written and performed by two new & Jason Ramanathan up were the first year blokes in drag, or members of staff; Claire Adjiman and Arts Editor: Helena Cocheme the Vice Girls, as they prefer to be called. Omar Matar. Professor Stephen Richard Games Editor: Gary Smith The group did two songs; Wannabe and son and the Head of Department, Pro Clubscene: Gurminder Murwaha 2 become 1. However the lyrics were nique the third years use. Helped by his fessor John Perkins, ably assisted them. & Joel Lewis slightly doctored to suit their filthy able assistant he proceeded to describe This sketch also centred on a selection Sports Editor: Gus Paul minds. Well done to Akira Kirton the five levels of love, from choosing process. This interview was based on Photographic Editor: William Lorenz (minger spice), Trev Dhruphalshah (hairy which type of relationship is best for you the selection of research candidates. spice), Barry Edmondstone (wolfie through to how to separate from your Although this was not as side splitting spice), Howard Buckley (toff spice) and loved one. This sketch was my per as some of the other sketches, the gen Nick Holt (camp spice). The next act sonal favourite, and indeed had every eral consensus was that it was at least came from the second years, who did body in the audience in stitches. good to see the staff making an effort. In brief... a rendition of Blind Date, where three Reuben Connolly (President) and Sanella The evening was a great success, blokes revelled in the opportunity to Hodzic (DSO) from the City and Guilds especially as so many people made the parody their lecturers. Executive arrived on stage next to illus effort to come and support it. Special Chris Woodroofe produced a real trate a light-hearted approach to thanks must go to those who wrote Election Update treat for the next sketch; "Professor squeezing money out of the City and and performed the sketches and all the Woodroofe's Hierarchy of Love". Appar Guilds. This was followed by a short members of staff who took the trouble The Union breathed a sigh of relief this ently this is based on a design tech- speech by Mr Connolly, praising the to attend. week as all nominations were filled. As Felix went to press, four new candi dates had put their names forward; one individual, SCC treasurer Kevin Debt Decreases Your Health: Official Butcher, has even opted to stand for the newly formed Deputy President

Disturbing new research to be published support the new loan scheme over its first (Education and Welfare), and has the in The Psychologist shows that students By Sunil Rao two years. required twenty seconders. are twice as likely to suffer from ill health Alarming levels of student poverty There are two more candidates and reduced mental well-being as their in debt were more likely than others to were highlighted in a Times Higher Edu for the post of DP (Finance and Ser contemporaries who are not at university. know other students who were involved cation Supplement poll revealing that vices): Ian Clifford, the CGCU treasurer, The study by Dr Ron Roberts, a psychol in prostitution, drug dealing and criminal three-quarters of non-first year students who has eighteen seconders; and Paul ogist at the University of Westminster, has activities in order to bolster their financial have cut back on buying clothes, shoes Hickman of DramSoc, who is fully sec confirmed what most students'already state. Dr Roberts concludes that "stu or food. Almost a quarter have cut back onded. Duncan Field, also of Dramsoc, feel - that there is a clear link between ris dents were on average twice as likely to on book-buying, more than four in ten is standing for DP (Clubs and Soci ing levels of debt among students and be in poor health when compared to students work during term-time (more eties) and at the time of writing had the comparatively lower levels of health. [sic] non-students of the same sex and than half of these work in bars); what's four seconders. In 'Student Finance and Mental Health', age". worrying is that over 30% of these work Papers came down at 6pm last Fri a paper co-authored with colleagues Dr This study comes as the Government more than the official recommendation day, at which point campaigning was John Golding and Dr Tony Towell, Dr announced on 29 January that tuition of a maximum of fifteen hours a week. officially allowed to begin. Hustings Roberts presents the results of the study fees would go up in line with inflation to Research previously published by Glas will take place next Monday, Tuesday carried out at two universities a maximum of £1,025 for the academic gow Caledonian and Paisley Universities and Wednesday at the three main (one old and the other new). year 1999/2000. Figures from the Uni and the Scottish Low Pay Unit had campuses. Unsurprisingly, Dr Roberts found that versities and Colleges Admissions Ser demonstrated that the long hours and students' general health, assessed on vice (UCAS) also reveal that the number low pay were having a serious impact on the basis of physical vitality and psycho of applications from mature students has the academic performance of students. Mountbatten Festival logical and social functioning, was "sub fallen sharply for the second year running This has also been confirmed in research stantially worse than that of young people following the introduction of tuition fees. by Lindsey Bowes and Sue Moon of the From Wednesday 10 February to Sun of the equivalent age and sex in the gen Baroness Blackstone, the Education University of Central . day 14 February, restrictions will apply eral population". He linked this to stu and Employment Minister, has A spokeswoman for the Committee to Kensington Gore, Prince Consort dents' working for longer hours in order announced a new scheme designed to of Vice-Chancellors and Principals com Road and the northern ends of to make ends.meet. It was found that help part-time students. From the autumn mented that it was "each student's per Queen's Gate and Exhibition Road, those students surveyed considering the of next year, part-time students in higher sonal responsibility" to strike the right due to the annual Mountbatten Festi abandonment of their studies were gen education on a low income will be enti balance between part-time work and val of Music. The Met have made it erally likely to suffer from poorer health, tled to loans of at least £500. With over studies. "Harship funds are available. Stu clear that any bicycles left unattended both physically and mentally. 28% of current students being part-time, dents in financial difficulties should seek or locked-up in this area will be The study also revealed that students 30 million pounds have been allocated to advice from the support services". removed.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB Internal tel: 58072 Internal fax: 48072 External tel & fax: 0171 594 8072 URL: www.su.ic.ac.uk/Felix E-mail: [email protected] Printed at MCP Litho Limited, Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, 16 -16a Baldwins Gardens, London LC1N 7RJ Felix is a registered newspaper: ISSN 1040 - 0711 Felix is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board. Copyright © Feiix 1998. Photographic copyrights remain with photographers. 8 February 1999 News 3 Rag Pulls Out All The Stops

Rag Week '99 has proved to be one of By David Roberts Nicholaou was dragged onto the stage, the most successful in ICU Rag history. A to face a stiff bidding war between her total of nearly £5000 has been raised for boyfriend and her football team. The this year's charities, thanks to a plethora footballers eventually won through, bid of events which took place over the last ding £52.50 for Marie to spend her 24 two weeks. hours cleaning their boots. Bidding then Having kicked off with the Spon got into gear, with Felix Editor Ed Sexton, sored Nude kamikaze Parachute Jump C&GU DSO Sanella Hodzic, ICU Accom and Variety Show earlier In the week modation Officer Natasha Newton, and (see Felix 1134), the fundraislng really C&GU Treasurer Ian Clifford all going for moved into gear with Wednesday's Street In excess of £50. Collection. In excess of £800 was col The star item, however, was a 'job lected during the day, thanks to the lot' which included ICU President Dave manic efforts of the Canoe and Moun Hellard, C&GU President Reuben Con taineering Clubs. A further £200 was nolly, Phil Buckman and Matt Tibber. A added to the total via Thursday's hypno large group of students formed a con tism show, given by former Felix Editor sortium and offered in excess of £200 for turned professional hypnotist Martin Tay a performance of the Full Monty - bring lor - the highlight of which was when one ing the grand total raised by the Auction poor girl was convinced that she had to up to nearly £900. On Monday evening, kiss a random man in the audience every the group duly obliged, and their show time she heard the word "peanuts". was received with a mixture of laughter One of the most successful events, and applause from the assembled audi however, was the field Cup, which took ence. place on Saturday 30 January. Organised Added together, these events have by City & Guilds Union, the Cup is basi produced a grand total of approximately cally a pub-crawl around the local area. £5000 for the four Rag charities - Shelter, Teams of four slowly worked their way Imperial Cancer Research, Avert and Trin around the gruelling thirteen stop ity Hospice. Although this figure pales in course, winning points for tasks com comparison with that raised by other pleted in each pub, with bonus points for universities and even the IC Medics, it fancy dress, mascots and 'treasure' col represents the first step towards these lected, fortunately, amidst the large-scale levels, and more than trebles the amount collection of South Ken memorabilia raised last year. A great deal of praise has (road signs, traffic cones, police equip been given to Rag Chair Sarah Coburn for ment and CCU mascots), the teams did her efforts in ensuring that Rag Week was n't forget the real reason of Rag - raising a success, who adds her own note of money for charity - and nearly £1000 was appreciation, "A big thank you to every made on the day. body who took part in, or helped with, Nonetheless, competition for the any rag event". main prizes was very fierce, with several teams haranguing the marshals well into the night. Eventually, however, the winners were announced by C&GU CUT tic. B1,()W DRY President Reuben Connolly. The 'best mascot' prize went to the 'Fridgefella's' BY OUR TOP STYLISTS who, for bizarre reasons which they &20 LAOIES refused to make clear, decided to carry a fridge around for the entire day - &17 MEN even bringing it into the Union bar to Normal Price £35 receive its prize. The 'best fancy dress' HAIR SALON award went to 'Drink.Feck.Arse&Girls' ACCESS VISA MASTERCARD CASH CHEQUES who came dressed as the cast of Father Ted (complete with pet brick and dog- 'Still the best student offer!' collars). The day's two biggest prizes - the most money raised, and the Cup itself-went to 'Coconuts don't migrate', 15a Harrington Road who raised an Impressive £166.51 dur ing the day. South Kensington Rag Week culminated last Monday London SW7 3ES with another C&G organised event, the Slave Auction. Approximately twenty (I Minute walk from 'lots' were on offer (mostly Union offi cers of some sort), selling 24 hours of South Kensington Tube) their time in return for donations to charity. Although the show started off slowly, with the first few slaves being Telephone 0171 823 8968 sold for £10 - £20, things hotted up after ICU Deputy President Marie News 8 February 1999 Machines that conceive of blue bananas

The City & Guilds Centenary Lecture which had the ability to generalise series got off to a highly successful By David Roberts results and turn them into learning. By start last week, thanks to a talk from adding such neurones together he one of IC's foremost research engi developed systems of pattern recog neers, Igor Alexander. The lecture nition, which, when embedded in series is designed to commemorate complex feedback loops, generates a the centenary of C&G Union, and will simple neural network. highlight some of the major engi These systems have now devel neering achievements of the last 100 oped into a programme with the abil years. ity to identify shapes and colours, Professor Alexander is one of the which allows an amazing perceptive :y:':"/'L:'.>-'::: foremost world authorities on artificial ability. Prof Alexander demonstrated intelligence, frequently quoted both this with a picture of a Martian land on TV and radio, and combines this scape; given some basic knowledge of with the role of Pro-Rector. His talk, features on Earth, it can detect rocks entitled 'Engineering in Nature (and and hillside, and can track down more those who cracked it)' focused on the interesting features. More impressively development of Al over the last forty still, it has the ability to 'visualise' years, and his changing relationship objects it has never seen - which he with his subject. He went to university demonstrated by asking the computer in South Africa before the days of com Photo: Courtesy of Imperial College to imagine a blue banana with red puters and even transistors, and thus, spots. This, he believes, is the first step on graduation, he envisioned a life what is meant by emotions and expe lowed through, thanks to the "cult of on the road to a 'conscious' computer time spent designing valve amps. rience", and how, on a more practical the omnipotent programmer" - young - which, if his book is to be believed, This all changed after he heard a level, this can be applied to robot and designers who believed that the pro he has done, in the shape of a lecture on communication given by IC android design. grammer could overcome every obsta machine called 'Magnus'. Professor Glen Cherry, "which taught In the early sixties, he followed cle (rather than the machine having to Thus there was one message me that engineering principles could closely in the footsteps of MIT expert 'learn' how to deal with them). Thus, which Professor Alexander wanted to be applied to the study of society". Warren McCulloch, who first devel it was not until twenty years after Impart on his audience, "to be an engi From this - seemingly innocuous - oped the concept of cybernetics. But McCulloch, in 1 963, that Alexander neer is to understand things - even beginning, he started to "examine these early concepts were not fol designed the first digital neurone, those that happen in nature". Staying in London over Easter? Student accommodation is available in Evelyn Gardens from 27 March to 24 April 1999.

For information and an application form call into: The Conference Office Watts Way Prince's Gardens (next to Basics Pizzeria) [email protected] 0171 594 9511 / 7

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D©utsch6 Bsnk Lee 6 ^ Iwiiniiir Letters, Valentines & Small Ads 8 February 1999

Selective Reporting At 1.20pm on Wednesday 27th Jan uary I was returning to my room in a 'Valentines Messages Whilst we appreciate that sports reports Princes Garden Hall when I noticed that are only received by Felix on a Wednes one of the kitchens was full of smoke They'll be more messages and a Valentines feature in day night, and may be 'edited for length', and the oven inside was still fully on. My next week's Felix. If you've got a message of your own we didn't realise that meant edited out girlfriend and I immediately acted by try which you'd like us to print, email [email protected]. or drop it of existence. ing to alert the people in the neigh into Ihe office before Wednesday evening, We go to every effort after matches bouring rooms, turning the oven off and N to write reports that inform and entertain telephoning Southside Security. The ' Qareth people about IC sport. So why is it that Security Officer suggested that the fire To Michelle Physics II still cries at a good film in last week's issue of Felix at least two doors should be opened so to clear the Lots of love on 1'dentines "Day still kisses with saliva pages were dedicated to films, arts, smoke, despite them constantly remind J/our Secret Jldmirer thinking about you music and games whilst sport received ing us not to prop open fire doors. On Martyn just over a page, ignoring a report writ realising that this would set off the ten by IC Ladies I hockey entirely. alarms he eventually said that he would This is not the only time that sports come over to deal with this dangerous Dearest C teams have been denied coverage in situation. After waiting for 20 minutes &ven though you re very smelly I love my | felix. We use valuable drinking time, Security had not turned up. and sometimes have a big pot belly brick 1 using all of our literary skill to write these I have subsequently found out that I will love you all the same reports, the least you could do is print another student was responsible for leav you can guess my Udonis like name them. ing the oven on after he had finished cooking and had left the building. This I Lots of love had caused a fat filled grill tray, inside the Tim fioping I can be yours oven, to generate the smoke and poten you dig my hole love Ladies 1st XI Hockey tially produce a fire. xxx 8 I believe that this was a potentially Sports reports, as with every other article serious incident that was seconds away In Felix outside this letters page, may be from developing into something seri edited for length, breadth or content. ous. I would therefore very much like a Right to Reply Deadline for letters is It Is difficult to judge how much response from Southside Security as to space to reserve for sport (usually the last what they feel is a serious threat to our IC School of Medicine Union President 12noon Wednesday. pages to be finished) - a problem that well being in Halls and an answer as to Wade Gayed would like to explain the obviously doesn't occur with the review why they did not respond to a serious fire events surrounding the ICSMSU Rag Dash, Letters may be edited for length, pages. Perhaps a mutually satisfactory warning. which has created so much contropversy solution would be for sports teams to let in recent weeks. but will not be altered in any other Felix know before Wednesday If they Yours faithfully, are playing and If they are likely to sub "The panic and upset which was way. fetters need not be signed, mit a report (and If so, of what length). A concerned resident. caused by my actions deeply upsets me, Alternatively, If anyone wants to be a and Mike Smith and myself appologise but a swipe card must be shown Felix sport reporter... Well, security, we are waiting... unreservedly for any harm we may have Lots of love and Happy Valentines A concerned Ed done. However, on the Friday evening when submitting Ed [immediately after the eventl, we were led to believe that the Circle Line Pub Crawl anonymous letters. Owning Up, Are We? and the Invasion of fondon - our two key Fire in Princes Garden events - were in danger, and were put I would like to write to claim responsibilty under pressure to take action. It saddens ' n Sir, for the letter (Who's Afraid of the QT) last me that some students don't think they week about the Estates Department. were being supported - I'm always there Despite college security enforcing roll The letter was anonymous due to the for every medical student, and at the time . alls during fire drills for the halls of res fact that I forgot to sign it. So, it was me I was led to believe that I was acting in the idence, and making no attempt to con ... Tim Wright. interests of the students. We ensured that duct such roll calls during actual alarms, Rag Week could continue, and the student The Week Ahead I have become even more alarmed by a Tim Wright reaction allowed the rest of Rag to go recent incident that occurred. (Computing 4 & Caving Club) ahead without further incident. Monday

Games Meeting 12.30pm Science and Maths ICU Bunac Soc Silwood Party Film Meeting 1pm \ Tutors Required Bunac will have an information stall in the Union foyer, this and every Friday 19 February, 5 pm - 6am 12:15-1:45 Science and Maths tutors required In contact Angela Parkin Psych trance party with News Meeting 12pm fondon and the Home Counties. [email protected] Clubscene 12pm 2am bar & music 'til 6am Graduates only City & Guilds College from two top DJ's. Top rates. Phoenix Meeting 12pm Union Bar Night! Tel 0181 349 2148 Tickets £3 Friday 6pm Tuesday 9 February, Union Bar (Top Tutors Agency) Phone 01344 294220 News Meeting 1.20pm Grab an Exec member for a free pint! Music Meeting 1.30pm THE MOST SUCCESSFUL NIGHT AT IMPERIAL A SPECTACULAR NIGHT OF FOOD, SONG & DANCE

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Voice from America some new revelation emerges about etc.), such actions are perfectly legal me to decry our hardworking staff in him engaging in sexual congress with and are carried out in accordance with this manner. I should not have to tack s I have mentioned before, my farmyard animals (though with the all the relevant guidelines. The article on that most of our staff are good and dedication to you, dear reader, pulchritudinous Ms Lewinsky already mentions that the employee has been some are truly outstanding, be they A is absolute. Consequently I find implicated, it cannot be ruled out com imprisoned, but it does not explicitly academic or otherwise, but the myself stranded on the slopes of some pletely). The Republicans can dictate say whether he is 'former' by virtue of inevitable hysterical response vindi Colorado ski resort, but I'm gritting every aspect this case, cates my point. They acknowledge the my teeth and making the best of it. I of the trial, This may problem but have no desire to rectify shall not bore you with the details, but because of Simon Baker seem a silly the situation. obviously this column will concentrate their Senate point, but Now I am back on this sceptred on our chums on the wrong side of majority, given the isle, I couldn't help noticing the letter the pond. Having never been this far thus afford way employ in last week's felix from 'Anon'. Nor west before, a few things have struck ing the ees are han mally I do not bother to comment on me. Firstly, you, as I did, may think that opportunity dled by letters written by people so gutless to all this "Have a nice day" malarkey is to heap the College, it is attach their name to the views, but I'll a tad disingenuous. Not true, they maximum a very legiti make an exception here. That some really do mean it. amount of mate ques one should write a letter about unac Much as it pains me to admit it, embarrass tion. It has ceptable staff behaviour just as I have the level of customer service received ment on the long been tackled the same issue almost implies over here would not be found in President. said the only a put-up job, but I can assure you that Blighty. It is almost embarrassing when But, when all 111 way IC would I didn't write it - I can spell. None of people move Heaven and Earth to rec the mud has dismiss a us, of course, are always sweetness :0 :;: tify problems for which they are in no been slung, member of personified in our dealings with our way whatsoever responsible. God they will not staff is if they fellow man, but the answer Anon bless 'em! A trip to the States would be able to burnt down received to a perfectly civil response not be complete without a perusal of secure the Sherfield and beggars belief. It is astounding that we their phenomenal plethora of TV chan two-thirds massacred have such a rude, obstructive person nels. Never in the field of light enter majority nec the Govern on the payroll, and it is surely only a tainment has so much been produced essary to ing body. matter of time before this person by so many for so little so badly. It is boot him Most really puts his or her foot in it and ttue to say that all the good US tele out. They are Voice of Reason people at annoys someone really important; stu vision is already over here, and If the playing a Imperial, dents, naturally, are the lowest form of remainder offers a vision of our own risky game: the more they attack, the who have been here for a few years, life and as such can be treated like brave new world of digital television, more the American people stand could rattle off a list of people whose dirt, or so it says here in the staff man include me out. Minor niggles aside, behind their President in an act of continuing employment is source of ual. While I'm not holding my breath, it a mighty fine country (had to say amazing loyalty. great mystery. Why should this be? some previous incidents of staff that, because a huge bloke has just If that were not dangerous Clearly, the occupation of positions behaving badly have been investi entered the cable car...) enough, Dan 'Potatoe' Quayle is mak by incompetent staff does nobody any gated by the director responsible after Of course, as you would imagine, ing noises about seeking the Repub favours, aside from the individuals they have been mentioned in this it is impossible to avoid the Impeach lican Presidential nomination. The themselves. Do we have fearsomely humble column, so we shall have to ment trial. Though its global cover Conservatives have been accused of powerful trade unions? Not really. The wait and see. What say you, Ian? age of news has traditionally been on losing elements of their political savvy, cause of the problem is the Personnel a par with Exchange & Mart, CNN is but such unfortunate slips pale into division. Though the covering insignificance director, Marion absolutely nothing "...Clinton will not be against what could Kimberly, is highly "... Imperial is running Cash for but, and conse be one of the most regarded, this heav quently it can impeached unless disastrous moves ily-staffed depart a charity, providing Courtyards begin to become a in Western political ment seems trifle tedious. some new revelation history. Despite all determined to frus gainful employment peaking of Ian Rarely are such this, as long as trate the activities of Caldwell, he protracted wars of emerges about him Clinton continues every department for people the rest of Siha s taken a lot attrition riveting to wear the teflon when dealing with of stick, mainly from television, but this engaging in sexual overcoat, both he problem employ the world would not me, about the is setting new stan and the Democrats ees. This often leads largesse of Estates dards in tedium, a congress with farmyard are safe. As for one to suspect that touch with a barge in matters horticul point which seems CNN, I will be Imperial is running a tural. He and you to be being animals..." forced to watch charity, providing pole..." will doubtless be acknowledged by QVC at this rate. gainful employment relieved to hear that many commentators; the nuts and for people the rest of the world would a building has just opened that makes bolts of the Senate trial are so dull, it not touch with a barge pole. Quite the palatial BMS and attendant land becomes necessary to talk up any new why anyone would join a trade union scaping seem like a Nissen hut on an revelation, however nebulous, to a IC Incompetents here is a mystery: save those union allotment. Portcullis House, the new point of frenzy. By comparison, Mur subs and let Personnel people keep office block for MPs, has emerged as ray Walker and Peter Snow are models hear from my friends on IC Dis you in a job for life. the most expensive building in Britain of restraint. torter that a former member of staff This may seem lo be an irrele in terms of cost per user. Of the £250 At the end of the day, this is hardly from RPMS has been caught with vance to students, but we all suffer million total cost, £200, 000 went on surprising, since everyone already their fingers in the till, resulting in a 12 from the continued presence of tenth- plants for courtyard restaurant, with a knows the outcome. Do you get month sojourn at Her Majesty's plea rate staff. Needless to say, they'll be further £1.2 million on paving. The excited by a by-electlon in Barnsley sure. Thankfully, fraud is fairly rare at falling out their prams in Sherfield scurrilous rumours that Estates acted or Kensington and Chelsea? Precisely. Imperial: though money is misappro having read what I have just written, as consultants to the project are Clinton will not be impeached unless priated on a grand scale (flowerbeds saying that it is monstrously unfair of entirely false. 8 February 1999 Columns 9 Malaysian Focus All Eyes Turn to Kuala Lumpur As Celebration Ends

ne of the major events during NlkBHafiz lawyers to prepare for what must be the the Eid-u-Fitr celebration which most anticipated segment of the trial. O announce the lifting of ernment organisations Anwar himself chose to be in the witness was widely highlighted by the Malaysian local media was that 40,000 vis the capital control (NGOs) quickly formed box while his defense team disclosed itors turned up at the Prime Minister's measures Imple iiminniii mi i an alliance, the Coali- that Dr. Mahathir and a few other official residence, Sri Perdana, for the mented last Septem M^— tion for Anti-Toll (CAT) Malaysian VIPs will also be summoned to annual open house feast. The PM, Dr. ber due to pressures ™ to protest over this testify. Amid this decision by the court, Mahathir himself was quoted to have by foreign investors. untimely act. This was fresh demonstrations calling for reforms been "rather surprised" at the kind of The Implementation of such controls succeeded with sporadic demonstrations broke out in the centre of the Malaysian reception received and stated that it was meant that these investors were unable being held at toll plazas all over the capital after almost 3 months of relative a show of support for the present gov to withdraw their money or capital from country. As a result, the government peace and quiet. The week before, the ernment, despite months of economic the Malaysian markets for one year. How backed down and reduced the rates. Cabinet revealed that an independent uncertainty and political unrest. Inter ever, the PM did not heed to these pres The PM also decided that 20 highway commission consisting of a former Attor estingly enough, about a mile away from sures and instead only declared the projects are to be deferred as the same ney-General, 2 retired judges and an Sri Perdana, thousands of Malaysians possibility of imposing an exit tax in order thing shall happen again and again, orthopaedic surgeon was to be estab also gathered for a similar occasion to ensure a moderate outflow of capital "once a highway is built and tolls are lished to probe into the beatings hosted by Dr. Wan Azizah, the wife of come September 1999. imposed, then there are protests and endured by Anwar Ibrahim while in incarcerated opposition and so-called The announcement of a raise in toll people do not want to pay". police custody. This followed a report by reform movement leader, Anwar rates by the government after the Chi In the latest development of the a police investigating body that con Ibrahim. nese New Year was, understandably, not Anwar Ibrahim saga, the accused was cluded some of the injuries sustained by Following a week's break due to the warmly accepted by Malaysians in gen ordered by the High Court Judge, Augus the ex-deputy premier while in detention Muslim celebration, Dr. Mahathir eral. During these hard times of eco tine Paul to defend himself after ruling was the result of being beaten by the resumed work by meeting European and nomic downturn and inflation at 5.3 that the state prosecution did have a police. Mysteriously, the identities of the American fund managers in Kuala percent, frequent highway users had to case over the corruption of power policeman or policemen involved were Lumpur. It was speculated beforehand endure an increase of almost 40 per charges. The trial will resume on 8 Feb unknown until now. that the Malaysian premier would cent. The opposition parties and non-gov ruary allowing one week for the defense Fifty Years On This year Felix celebrates its golden anniversary. In the first of a series of articles, Ed Sexton looks at how it all began.

he first issue of Felix appeared in No change meet the need. We on the Union's agenda, and cash flow the corridors of Imperial College there, then. do not intend to problems for club activities were not Ton the morning of Friday 9 At the time encroach upon the unheard of. The altruistic Hughes December, 1949. Costing 3 old pence Imperial already literary field cov decided that "any profits made by the (about the same as the cakes on sale had one student ered by THE paper are to be devoted to Sports Day, in the New Lounge, according to a let publication PHOENIX; rather do since it appears that the Union is now ter featured in that issue), it appears to Phoenix. Founded we intend to be so impecunious that it may be unable have been well received by the col by H G Wells in complementary to to subsidise coaches and teas on that lege, with all 600 copies being sold 1886, Phoenix was that journal, even if important occasion." ICU's beverages before 10am. Some copies were even intended to be a not always compli also came in for criticism on the letters sold on the black market, for 4 pence, magazine for clubs mentary." Oh, the page; "Sir, In a mild sort of way I would prompting the editors to increase the and societies. Its wit. like to register a bitter protest about copy number to 1000 for the second somewhat Felix rapidly the Union beer. Perhaps one of our issue in 1950. ephemeral appear took much of own tame entomologists could rec The first issue consisted of thir ance, however, was Phoenix's raison ommend to our so called Brewers a teen typed pages and a hand-drawn one of the reasons d'etre, but Phoenix more virile type of Gnat." Full to the cover page. The reason for founding for the formation of still continues brim with ailing puns, the letter was Felix was summed up by the first edi Felix: under the guise of signed "Ulcerated". tor, one E M Hughes, as follows: "This is a func Imperial's arts mag Finally, what of the name, now "The need has been felt for some tion which clearly azine, now pro half a century old? The only reference time for a frequently published journal cannot be per duced on an to its origin is contained in a somewhat to comment upon the affairs of the formed by THE annual basis (in cryptic remark in the editorial; "A debt College whilst they are still topical, and PHOENIX, particu fact, the editors are of gratitude is owed to F C Ewels for his to bring to the attention of its mem larly since that looking for contri suggestion of a title. He shall be bers the activities of Clubs and Soci estimable bird is butions now: rewarded with a saucer of milk." More eties of which people at present know now to appear only [email protected]). likely, I suspect, he received a pint of little, and knowing little, tend to care twice a year, and so As always, beer. even less." Felix has come to BVgMY FORTNIGHT finances were high 10 Columns 8 February 1999

Mushroom Sauce othing tastes good unless it contains fat or 8 oz Raisins sugar. I know this is not very politically cor 8 oz Sultanas Nrect, but I honestly can't think of a single 2.5 fl oz Milk ushrooms are one of my exception. You may have noticed that most of the Juice of an orange favourite ingredients. M Mk <-Sk recipes I've featured In this column have contained Grease a 20 cm round cake tin, and line with They're best cooked in a generous helping of cream, oil, butter, or all three. greaseproof paper. Cream the butter (I always soften some kind of sauce. The best thing Hr* I'm one of those annoying people who can eat it by heating in the microwave for 10 seconds), then about mushrooms is that they soak IIP -^^w enormous quantities of food, without putting on beat in the sugar. Stir in the treacle, then give every up loads of butter, taking on a fantastic mellow weight. My cooking tends towards maximum flavour, thing a good mix. Add the eggs one at a time. flavour that goes well with pretty much anything. I whatever the damage. If you're more calorie con rarely buy mushrooms from the market. The super scious than I am, I'm afraid this week's recipes are market stock is always much better quality, well particularly fattening. worth the extra expense. To make a basic sauce, start by melting a gen erous knob of butter (about 50g) slowly in a small Fruit Cake pan. Slice 5 medium mushrooms thinly. Heat gen tly for about 5 minutes until they turn a medium Cooks brown colour, losing the softness of raw mush ake is the ultimate example of rooms. Add a couple of tablespoons of double the Joy that is fat and sugar C cream, mix well then turn up the heat. Cook until the combined. This is the nicest mushrooms start to go a little brown and crispy. fruit cake recipe I've found. It's really K^r*§m^> moist, but not unpleasantly sweet. Even if you're not Corner The sauce is great as part of a breakfast fry-up. normally keen on fruit cake, you might find you like I normally chop a big sprig of parsley and add it at this one. If you already have the spices etc, you could the end. It also makes a good accompaniment to a make this for only a few pounds, well within even steak, and is just fantastic with a pork chop. When dJ the tightest budget. served with meat, I often stick in a couple of tea spoons of peppercorn mustard to add some body. A very different sauce can be made with the 8 oz Butter addition of olive oil, thyme, garlic, and balsamic 8 oz Soft brown sugar Break each egg into a cup and beat with a fork, then vinegar. Fry a couple of cloves of crushed garlic gen 2 tbs Treacle fold into the mixture with a tablespoon of flour. Fold tly with a teaspoon of thyme, in the olive oil. Add the 4 Eggs in the remaining flour, combined with the spices and mushrooms and cook as before. Ahead of adding 12 oz Flour baking powder. Finally, add the fruit, milk and orange the cream, chuck in a tablespoon of balsamic vine 1 tsp Baking powder juice. gar, and bubble for a minute. 1 tsp Ground cloves Bake at 160°C or gas mark 3 for two-and-a-half 1 tsp Cinnamon hours. Rest a piece of foil over the tin for the last 1 tsp Nutmeg hour, to prevent a thick crust. Make sure that the Next week: Bangers and Mash 4 oz Ground Almonds cake is left to cool completely before cutting. Warm 8 oz Currents cake is really crumbly, and not nearly as good.

Presidential Talk-Back

An issue always on student's minds is refusing to pay their gle first year about what it's there for. money and that's why I'm devoting tuition fees on prin David Hellard, ICU President it. There has been To end with I have a personal plea my column to it for a second time. The ciple. no feedback on the to every student out there. As you're Access fund is reopened again for Since then they way the collecting probably all aware, the 14th is Valen applications. 246 awards have already have backed down, has been adminis tines day, where every single person been made totalling £144 300 that's an being threatened tered or whether has to put up with being publicly told average of around £590 per student. with everything the jjj being able to pay by that no-one loves them or finds out There is still £150 000 left in the kitty College could throw JJJ instalment has suffi that that mystery admirer is the person for the rest of the year, though - by my at them. In Imperial ciently eased the you thought it was and never liked calculation that's enough for another the situation is burden, so one can anyway. Each year I have a competi 254 students to gain equivalent somewhat different; only assume that it tion with my sister to see who receives awards. If you're in a desperate finan we too have various has run as smoothly the most cards, the loser being subject cial situation at the moment, why not students that as I hoped. As ever to weeks of patronising phone calls, let the Government help you out, it's haven't paid yet, but H if you have any feed the winner the love of my mum. Last money for the taking - the College the way the students H back on this issue year I had to face the humiliation of and the Union has nothing to gain by have acted and the :.. email me ipresl- being thrashed 4-0; after four years of not dishing out every penny. All you response from the H : [email protected]). victory this hit hard and I have to make need to do is pick up a form from College has been ^ Next week the a good come back this year or risk room 334 in the Sherfield Building and comparatively relaxed. I was in the Col second instalment of tuition fees are emotional damage. Basically if you have them filled out by the 22nd lege Welfare Committee today and the to be paid in. I'm sure by now some have any spare cards, please donate March. whole issue was brought up. The Col students would have spent all of their them to such a worthy cause as my own, either through the internal mail, The other financial side of being a lege stated the current situation and money for the year including that they or just drop them into the Union. student that has hit the first years is asked what the response was on the owe in tuition fees. If you're in this sit Many Thanks. tuition fees. Two students in Oxford student side, something which I could uation, it might be worth thinking have hit the headlines recently by not give, not having spoken to a sin- about applying to the above, that's S February 1999 Science 11

The Future's Bright, The Future's Orange and Red and

Ever noticed how a butterfly's wings shine with a multitude of colours? Very soon, you'll be wearing clothes that do the same. Emma Freeman tells all...

can think of few things worse than when light hits a film that has a mirror began I being surrounded by flying insects in like surface. When the incoming light by looking at Vukusic I an enclosed space. This is where my hits the top surface of the film, some of moths, whose *m and Sambles have gone on vegetarian views come unstuck as I have it is reflected. The rest carries on travel wings, like but to investigate the optical prop few qualms about delivering ling through the material terflies', are a ft erties of butterfly scales using lasers. The all manner of death by drown- "A fare COllabO- until it reaches the lower mosaic of * \ lasers determine exactly how much light ing, swiping, crushing or surface, where more light scales, ; % is reflected by a single scale and how this spraying any insect who dares ration DeiWOSn rays are reflected. The arranged in a I is dispersed. So far they have found that to roam uninvited in my colours themselves roof-tile pattern. It arose that inside each some scales are capable of reflecting as home. I was however per biology and depend on how far the scale lay a complex geometric frame much as 75% of the light they receive in suaded to look upon butter light has had to travel work. Cuticles of chitin were arranged in the visible blue spectrum. This is an flies, and dare I say it, moths, physics" within the film and to what layers, concertinaed with layers of air. This amazing amount considering that each in a slightly more favourable extent the density of the means that when sunlight strikes a scale, light due to some work going on down film affects the light's speed and direc it becomes filtered through a whole 2j - V. II in Exeter. tion. The colours change as the object or series of chitin layers, each acting as a Two physicists at Exeter University observer changes position in relation to mirror-like film. They produce a multi have reason to believe that butterflies the light. tude of reflections. The layers differ in Mllllli may one day be responsible for anti- This indicates that the iridescent thickness and distance away from one counterfeiting devices in credit cards and colours produced by butterflies are a another and so varies the series of bank notes, wide-angle liquid crystal dis consequence of the physical structure of colours we see on the moths wings. plays or, if it takes your fancy, a new trend their wings. Vukusic and Sambles have On discovering this, Peter Vukusic for iridescent clothing. Peter Vukusic and therefore been looking at wing struc went on to look at the wings of butter Professor Roy Sambles have Initiated a ture using electron microscopy. They flies. Out of all of those he has studied, Scales of the Morpho butterfly rare collaboration between biology and it is the Morpho species of butterfly physics, two sections of the scientific "Christmas tree" structures on the which has captured his interest the most. wing scale is made up of a simple car community who are scarcely seen in the Morpho butterfly Morpho is a tropical species with electric bohydrate material which has arisen from same vicinity together, let alone por I blue wings. When Peter looked at a single cell. This work is progressing ing over the same lab book. \ individual scales from this butterfly, he further by investigating the optical prop The pair are looking at butter found that they were made up of a erties of structures in butterfly wings in flies and moths, whose wings pro | series of longitudinal ridges, fooking spectrums of light which include the duce the most striking, intense at the ridges more closely he saw infrared and ultraviolet wavelengths. iridescent colours found anywhere that each was made up of multiple The team in Exeter have already else in nature. In studying this iri reflective surfaces. More specifically, developed a theory so that they can descent property Vukusic and Sam they were in the form of what he now mathematically model the "Christmas bles hope to discover the secrets calls "Christmas tree" tree" architecture found on that lie behind their ability to pro structures. "The overall the Morpho butterfly. As duce such striking colours. They then The "Christmas they gather more informa hope to be able to reproduce these trees" sit on the surface effect is a stun tion they plan to develop a effects artificially under UV, infrared |j of a scale, arranged in compuler model which can and radar wavelengths of light. rows. Each of their tiny ning metallic predict the optical response The iridescent nature of moths branches interferes with of various physical structures and butterflies has much the same incoming light from the blue " across a broad range of effect as car headlights have when top and bottom surfaces, wavelengths. they shine onto a patch of engine oil reflecting a series of coloured rays. With this kind of information, it on a wet road. In the same way that The scatter of these rays is consider should be possible to establish some the colours in the oil change as you ably increased by the overlapping rules for mimicking butterfly reflectors in cross the road, a butterfly can appear JMjiL nature of the scales on the butterfly's a variety of ways. So when you find your in different colours, depending on I wing which diffract the light rays. The self paying with your iridescent credit the angle from which you look at it. overall effect is a stunning metallic card for some iridescent hair spray, to go The iridescence that we see is jP blue butterfly which is visible from as with your iridescent clubbing top, a product of the light rays reflected many positions as possible. remember where you saw it first. 12 Film 8 February 1999 Reviews Very Bad Things * * * *

Starring : Cameron Diaz, Christian Slater, Jon Favreau, Leland Orser, Jeremy Piven, Daniel Stern Director: Peter Berg

espite the fact that they've In essence, Very Bad Things is Shal never been in anything that low Crave with laughs. If that sounds D like a pretty sick concept then that's could actually be branded with the adjective 'good', both of Very Bad because it is. Remember the scene in Things stars have managed to build Shallow Crave where Ewan McGregor themselves extraordinary fan bases and Christopher Ecclestone go to the around the globe. DIY shop to buy a spade, a saw and a Cameron Diaz has become a major hammer? That scene is mirrored here, Hollywood player thanks to amazing only this time they buy chainsaws, looks combined with an astute choice breathing apparatus and a lot of suit of roles (eschewing the traditional line cases. Which they put the dismembered of blonde bimbos and rom-com hero torsos in. Yet it's hilarious - somehow ines), plus an unexpected level of talent. writer/director Berg manages to create Christian Slater, however, has taken a a world detached from reality, where more off-beat route to stardom. In the you know that these events aren't real late-eighties he was a teenage pin-up, - and thus someone standing in a bath but in the nineties he has stormed cutting up a corpse with a chainsaw is through an eclectic mix of movies, fol funny. Odd. lowed by increasingly outrageous stories To enjoy Very Bad Things you'll have of drug abuse - somehow managing to to be of a certain disposition, with the keep that trademark roguish grin intact. A bunch of pissed, leering goodfor-nothlng blokes. It's all strangely familiar. ability to laugh at undeniably nasty acts. Thus, whilst Diaz may be on less Yet if you can you'll find yourself heav familiar territory in the movie - she's drink and drug fuelled binge a prostitute breakdown coupled with guilt and panic ily rewarded, with fine performances just too nice to play a convincing rich- is accidentally murdered. Slater moves soon lead to lethal wrangles, and, of from two of Hollywood's most likable bitch - Slater is in his element. He leads into gear, spouting pop-psychology and course, an hilarious finale. Juxtaposed stars, some great ensemble moments a group of five late-twenties blokes to rising to every (increasingly brutal) act against these horrific actions arc Diaz's and a series of brilliant twists in the last Las Vegas, where they plan to stage the which his escape plan requires. Mean sublimely screwy attempts to ensure ten minutes, in which nearly every char greatest bachelor party ever, to cele while, of course, his friends are falling the wedding goes to plan. Which it acter receives their comeuppance. D brate. It turns wild, and amidst a massive to pieces. Hysteria and full-on nervous does. Sort of. Dave Shakespeare in Love ***** Starring : Gwyneth Paltrow, Joseph Fiennes, Geoffrey Rush, Ben Affleck, Judi Dench, Colin Firth, Simon Callow Director: John Madden

ou've probably heard all the play 'Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's hype about Shakespeare in Love Daughter'. The only snag is women Y aren't allowed to perform on the already, so it needs no introduc tion - except to say it's brilliant and stage. He discovers her true identity go and see it now! There simply isn't and quickly takes her to be his new anything bad to say about this film at Muse who inspires him to turn his all. play into a tragic love story called The film has been so well thought 'Romeo and Juliet'. As always, the out and the script cleverly put course of true love is never easy. Viola together, with the same blend of in- is betrothed to some one else and jokes, period detail and wit that made the rest you will have to find out for writer Tom Stoppard's other Shake yourself. spearean parodies (Rosencrantz and Almost every five minutes a recog Guildenstern Are Dead and The Fif nisable face turns up including mem teen Minute Hamlet) so successful bers of the 'Fast Show', Martin Clunes, on both stage and screen. If you have and Geoffrey Rush (star of Shine and a working knowledge of 'Romeo and Elizabeth). Making a star appearance Juliet' by the bard himself then most is Dame Judi Dench as Queen Eliza of the puns will work for you, but even beth. The resemblance between these if you haven't it doesn't matter. two women is so startling that Dench Set in London in 1 593, Joseph Golden Globe Award already In the bag. Oscar to come? could have been Elizabeth in a former Fiennes is believable as Shakespeare. life. He seems to possess all the wit and have to make up your own mind. is a brilliant performer and the ulti Although this film is dreadfully intelligence present in Shakespeare's Don't go thinking this actress can't mate 'English Rose'. romantic, it isn't a 'chick flick' - just the work. And as for Gwyneth Paltrow as do an English accent because she has Shakespeare and Viola meet when best film of 1999 so far.D the lovely Viola De Lesseps, well, you'll shown the whole world in this film she she auditions for a part in his new Helen 8 February 1999 Film 13 Reviews A Bugs Life * *

Starring : Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey, Phyllis Diller, David Hyde Pierce, Mike McShane Director: John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton

o, this is the Disney version of SAntz. Or should I say the original The X-Files version, tor those of you who don't know the story behind these In the face of a barrage of TV to movie two films, I'll fill you in. Disney came adaptations that have proved just how up with the idea of a computer-gener easy it is to make a bad film, The X-Files ated flick about ants and Dreamworks Movie is a refreshing change which stole the idea and made it bigger and stays very true to its roots. Consequently better. It's very difficult not to com the film plays very much in the style of pare these two films, as they are so an extended episode of the hit scries. similar. The increased budget is obvious, but tor those of you who haven't seen sensibly utilised, and the much vaunted AntzXhis film will be spectacular with its tr^b^aENJr^ ifi-fifr-«r plot exposes simply leave even more brilliant animation and cute story line. unanswered questions. Most impor Mind you, as with all Disney films the tantly, Mulder and Scully don't 'get it on' trailers exposed all the best bits. If you (as Barry White would say). listen carefully you will hear the voices The difficult bit of any TV to movie of Kevin Spacey, David Hyde Pierce transition is how to cater for both the (a.k.a. Niles from Frasier), Phyllis Diller long-term fan and the newcomer, and and John Ratzenberger (from Cheers). its here that The X-Files really succeeds. The story line is the same as with CGI ten times more powerful than that used on Toy Story. Wow. A couple of entertaining 'hello, this is Antz. Flik (Foley) is an individual with who we are' scenes get that out of the fantastic ideas about how to improve colony from the grasshoppers. After and gets the girl. way early on, and from there on it's the colony on Ant Island but having seeing this film you will never look at Whereas Antz was full of 'adult' plain sailing into a truly breath-taking ideas is not 'normal' when you're an a grasshopper in the same light again. jokes this has a sense of humour aimed finale. ant. He is considered a little odd by He finds what he thinks is a troop of at children. It's definitely not a film for almost everyone and his ideas get him warriors but they turn out to be a circus all age groups to enjoy but go and see into trouble. So much trouble in fact group. However, don't worry, as in all it anyway. Q The Avengers that he is sent away for help to save the good Disney films the good guy wins Helen To be honest, I didn't actually think The Avengerswas that bad. There arc some nice ideas on show; the cast aren't at all Your Friends & Neighbours * * * bad; and (surprisingly) it struggles to retain the spirit of the original. However, Starring : Amy Brenneman, Nastassja Kinski, Jason Patric, Ben Stiller I'm not one to walk in the face of pub lic opinion on such matters, and it's Director: Neil LaBute undeniably true that The Avengers is a mess. Edited to bits, it simply makes no

here are certain directors who sense in places, and is utter indulgence clearly aren't too happy with their in others (Eddie Izzard and Shaun Ryder T lot in life, filling every movie they in a mini, chasing Lima Thurman and make with death, depression and suf Ralph Fiennes with radio-control wasps). fering - and Neil LaBute is one such It's only redeeming feature is the sight man. of Sean Connery in a giant teddy-bear His debut movie. In the Company of costume. Men, saw two heartless office workers dating, then dumping a frail deaf girl just because they wanted to hurt someone, Species 2 and Your Friends & Neighbours presents more of the same. Consequently, the Sometime back in July I went to the cin cast consists of Patric's social evil incar ema with a group of friends to see The nate; a wife who won't be touched Wedding Singer. One of the trailers was (Brennerman); a quarrelling couple who for Species 2. If was so bad we started are cheating on each other (Stiller and CGI ten times more powerful than that used on Toy Story. Wow. to laugh. We were still laughing after Keener); a husband who practices his three more trailers. We still couldn't stop own brand of self-loving (Aaron Eckhart); of the six principle actors are on top uncomfortable laughing at, endlessly laughing when the movie itself began and a drippy lesbian (Kinski). form, but its Patric who storms through quotable dialogue and a warped sense of to roll. We only stopped laughing when American indie movies of this kind - with a grandstanding performance, filled fun, your take on the movie will ulti a very well-built usher told us that if we deliberately low budget and lo-fi - live and with tales of date-rape and 'revenge' sex. mately depend on your own views (and didn't shut up he'd throw us out. As far die on the strength of their cast, and it's Like I said, LaBute is not a happy man. experience) of sex. [J as I'm concerned, that's not a good here that Your Friends shows its depth. All Filled with gags which you'll feel Dave sign. Even my blind-desperate friends - the ones who liked Showgirls - didn't Competition winners will be announced next week. like Species 2. Be warned. D Dave 14 Sabbatical Interviews 8 February 1999 8 February 1999 Sabbatical Interviews 15 £50K of taxpayers' money well spent!

Despite a manifesto which didn't actu On the other hand, Dave sees one Chris Ince was elected last June on a Med School is a complete mess...l can't ally commit Union President Dave Hel of the biggest plus points of the job as manifesto which promised a thorough be expected to perform miracles for Dave Hellard lard to anything, he still feels he has the opportunity for lots of public speak Chris Ince review of Union subsidy levels, those who don't play by the rules. achieved a lot during the last seven ing and meeting people. Indeed this increased training for treasurers and Nonetheless, he is still pleased with months. He believes he has switched may prove to be only the first step on proper running of club finances - all of how things have gone this year - par ICU President the focus onto the day-to-day issues the road to power - although Dave has Deputy President which are now in progress. Despite the ticularly his working relationship with which really affect students - like Lon decided that he hates "Politics with a big fact that problems continue to stream in, President Hellard, "At the beginning of don Transport, the library and health- P", he is looking to work in the Foreign Chris believes that the training was very the year I was concerned that someone Dave Hellard: the previous contenders, combined with the centre, and discounts. Office or with the UN (Finance & Services) worthwhile, "it was worth who wasn't involved with Man the Vlyth. merely CV seeking point easy access to cheap Consequently, he'd like "the year the "and I wouldn't mind giving training to the "if I could do the Union had the poten the Legend pimps, I see problems, I living could hi the differ his year in office to be being an Ambassador". | medics, even if they tial to make huge mistakes. The questr r crerv see issues and it's time ence between the stu remembered as "the Union came back So what makes a ignored it. I just wish I'd the job again But he's actually done , ter h )uld as! someone stood for the dents being anle o a't' in) year the Union came good President? Accord taken a list of who was really well". slop towards the ballot right reasons, to make a to come to Imperial ot back to the students". there". box is who is David Hel change. not. "IK aadi d pressure to the students" ing to Dave, you simply .-: i:Si ilfTie 1 would do" So would Chris stand lard and why should ! vote of money on students will Alongside this, he'd can't tell who would do :;o:;:^ci'iveiy i||8l|ife.:. The really big issues for election again, given for him' i know 1 have I Hkf also see a need tor out also like to be remembered for setting the job well, "you just have to listen to iiiff p we want this year, as far as Chris is concerned, the chance? "If I could stand again I am rot the traditional coun UO : pR':: some longer term projects in motion - what they promise to do, and hope have been the Beit Expansion and would do. When the new rector is l nion "stiff and I thint even wuk r n ai h nc sCluhs Conimi'jee iticial train- like the expansion into Beit Quad and they focus on the issues". He admits minibuses. Both of these issues have appointed we should push really hard that worries s m peM This iswhr i mi rs and this vi a the proposed Union Job Shop (both due that he is far from perfect "you need seen a great deal of progress (with the e 'ai : pit sident to maintain ihe i : t r~airrefcim for the right for two year sabbaticals". Union official who finds high s'undares all ad, su to begin in Summer 2000). Dave has also someone who's more responsible than finances are run properly Union doing surprisingly well In Beit), Moreover there is one important les himself with no-where tc by the Union are tc put a lot of emphasis on Student Devel me in the way they administer the " ... :: ;. u . I hope that m> c \pc- but it will take a long time for the results son which Chris has learnt, "if I was i< n< i assur opment, and hopes to set up a "Student Union, but who won't let constitutional rience within if to filter through. "That's one of the big starting the year over, I wouldn't rely on ha. rw:r r or .race - v.; hi mportant th.e\ are tt will allow n to uUkkh Development Week" for next year. jargon get in the way of doing the job problems with this job -1 know I won't a detailed chain of command - I'd get dent. viev .ear students be ma i union Onk uth gr od Having sat on both grasp Nonetheless, he admits that he has properly". be here to see the outcome of my detailed information to everyone per wilt be coming to univer i iMiil. in ih I nior finances is it possible for all council and exec this year nn-go n-M.-.:.n 'hiswill managed to achieve far less this year And would he do the job again? i >ur (lubs and sot ieties to actions". sonally". i;: ent? Simply, i work in the sity with even less mone\ live in the Union and 1 live, I am well aware of Ihe way then allow me Co than he had initially hoped, "problems Dave is a fervent believer in the bene Union, I live in the Union than ever before. Th for the Union It s unction aropi rk \lso i the union operates as well. with the ether.ssobajHSt' Chris also has to accept that a big Asked what makes a good DP (F&S), and 1 live for 'he Union I i nion in turn will be relied time lot the sti .. with clubs, the CCU's and ULU seem to fits of allowing sabbaticals to run for a us important that the Union Overall I feel I am well tre r ter yyr.'fiS'.' part of his job involves damage limita the answer is simple, "It's the one role qualified to do this job and err.1. .-.<'.< ha*.- spent m, time ir upon even mote rvavil den's to mat e / eat up my time". The workload has also second term, but wouldn't want to do tion. Moreover, everything below £500 where you need someone really capa The money it provides their marl / "radir.oa'T This allows u% would also like to do it. t ana around ike Union come as something of a shock to the it himself. "I wouldn't be fully involved, is basically delegated down, so how ble, yet tolerant, who can say more than through jobs and funding, system, "the level of administration is and I'd get even more egotistic than I ever conscientious he is, "there will just 'No'." \ huge, and, for the most part, thank am now. I've had my chance - its time always be a big mess". Indeed Chris And what's the best thing about less". to let someone else have their go." sees this as the worst part of his job, "the the job? "That pseudo sense of power".

Ed Sexton be issues relevant to stu influences It will Marie Nicholaou r JRjT ° Felix dents. However, Felix not take an\ pat- " should also entertain the ticular political stance," Mfr dt-prt d i ji time. But a lot can hap- readership: The diverse but will reflect the opin W n inteiest organised in Ihe posilion had more trouble with the more time out of the office, invoked through performance of ICU's newest sabb, years to come she simply hopes that introduction of medical There ai man', "relaxed, of editor, I asl year, I suc ased publicity, espe- Marie Nicholaou. Nonetheless, she she is remembered for "trying to help he South neglected issues thai latter, "I made half an effort, rather than constantly emaiL cessfully co-edited r pally at the start of the Kensington campus, it is need to be resolved ai but there didn't seem to be ing and phoning people". Phoenix, imperial's arts claims her time has been all sports - and trying not approachable Autumn term. As Imper mote important than ever the moment, and six magazine, as well as run in high demand, dealing "I haven't had to be too biased towards any interest". However, Ed Moreover, given the oppor ial's campuses continue to provide lor ail our stu- months of wi rk to (.arch ning my own society with the Health & Safety my own... But I've is very happy with the and considerate" tunity Ed believes he would to merge, it is increas oi nts and their broad up on I Ic alth and s if I with its own column in „ ingly important that stu issues which she views failed". improvements made in the have tried far harder to keep time to formulate ts and is one of the area; that I wan; to improve lelix. <\s News Ldiior, I ' reviews sections this year, particularly in arts Felix coming out on Friday's. dents from all parts of as incredibly important. Like Dave, Marie must be addr> ssi d immi our clubs and the college coniribule to the quality of writing Key to this has been the diutolv and games. Above all else, he'd like to be a grand plan" sees the opportunity to ) unite It is very easy to lose One thing the year has taught Ed is the the newspaper. To this throughout lelix, specif- potential dangers of the remembered for being "relaxed, approach meet new people every your way at Imperial and I am curri ntl\ captain myriad of abilities which the ideal Felix edi end Felix will have a rep i all he '' i-,' jod of the able and considerate of both sides of the snoits pages artir t. s c an Weights Gym and problems of noise In day as one of the biggest plus points graduate with a degree tor needs to embody. "You need to have resentative at each of the tiatrw I, I am < "

having not been involved Club and ! will be at it" loi argument". :: he well written whilst Southside basements - both of which of the job. On the other hand, the the technical knowledge; a genuine like of main campuses, whb r -.- a lew years t) come i retaining their wit and she hopes will soon reach satisfactory in anything other than would be in regular con worst part lies in the admin which run Alongside this, Ed also believes that the student interests,- the ability to see the dif our suppor I .an studying. What you do would like to mat posi tact lor news and infor outcomes. relationship with the Union has changed ference between what someone writes " ! '': C.. ning 150 clubs required, "I haven't writ while you are here will tive changes to tin u* mation. clubs are tun whin I am this year. "Felix has become much more and who they are; and you have to be able Marie, however, readily admits that ten anything for four years, and now t-liiri "Set you apart from other she has no grand plan for her seven I've got to write all these reports...I've graduates who arc chas here. Vote for me - I pro-Union - we'll still attack them when to write 400 words at six in the morning, will protect its editorial ing your 10. it is one. months in office. "If I'd had some good forgotten how." necessary, but in general we're both on the having been awake for 24 hours". in torn Ire i >t> r i tl ideas I would have run for the full So what makes an ideal DP (C&S)? same side". And what's the best thing about the twelve months...l haven't had enough "You need someone patient and tol So would he do the job again? "No, but job? "Walking around on Monday after time to formulate a grand plan". Thus, erant who has an open mind on every not because I'm not enjoying it - it's just not noons and seeing thousands of students she is concerned more with dealing issue". something you want to do for more than leafing through their copy of Felix." 16 /~f*^^ Music 8 February 1999 Singles

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nown to Q Magazine readers as punk. They gave us the single Paralyse 'the unremarkable 3 Colours last October which the describes as K Red' this four-piece 'like nothing we've done before, think io --il fh> name-oiNiv: N:,n