8 February Issue 1999 1135 KEEP THE CAT FREE EST 1949 The Students' Newspaper at Imperial College Dobson on Health at IC The candid Secretary of State for Health, By Andrew Ofori training could be achieved "by the sys• Frank Dobson, delivered an even-handed, tematic spread of best practice and the self-effacing speech to a particularly well wrong with it - are put tem. monitoring of that best practice." attended meeting of the ICU Labour Soci• righl and it is placed "To put the NHS The Cabinet Minister ended his speech ety on Thursday 28 January. From the out• in a position where it in a position where it by opening the floor to questions, where• set he warned the receptive audience that can cope with the can cope with admit• upon he was subjected to a forthright and his public speaking was so soporific that it various challenges tedly new challenges," salient session of questioning. In answer had been known to send him to sleep and changes of the was how Mr Dobson to the claim that the NHS survives on a vast while he was making the speeches. Main• coming century." assessed his current amount of overtime put in by doctors, Mr taining this light-hearted tone he quoted The Health Sec• role. To this end there Dobson agreed that the system is main• how one national paper had characterised retary then launched would need to be tained by the hard work of all NHS staff. He his incongruence with the re-vamped an attack on how | more money invested remarked that he in fact had an appoint• Labour Party: "He is to New Labour what "pointy-headed" in the system, and a ment with the Prime Minister later that the Norweigian entry is the Furovision economists temper consequent improve• day where he would discuss a pay increase song contest." his best intentions ment in equipment for medical staff next week. He also pre• Mr Dobson used his time to focus on with considerations and the working envi• sented the opposing view, claiming he the current stability and future prospects of such as the popula• ronment. Above all often spoke to members of the medical fra• the NHS, introducing the topic by describ• tion's increasing 1 Dobson called for a ternity who complained that there col• longevity, new phar• ing the values underpinning "the most vast development in leagues did not work hard enough, to maceuticals, and || popular institution in Britain by a very con• working practice, which he would reply "you know who they innovation in treat- I siderable distance". Describing its "quality finding the news are, you do something about it." ment; factors which j and equality", he contended that its success media too often The Secretary of State later found it they view as sources and incomparable convenience were engrossedin the puni• necessary to qualify his stance on the derived from it being purely tax-funded, of excess pressure on Photo: Jonas Dobson deep In thought tive measures meted selective administration of drugs, in par• and went on to state the Government's the NHS of the to those who are at ticular the controversial Viagra. He responsibility to the system "is to try to future. He insisted that the demographics fault, he expounded the virtues of ensur• reminded people that "it's the National make sure the things that are wrong with of the population indicated there can only ing a high quality service from the outset. Health Service not the National Recre• the Health Service - and there are things be an ease in the current strain on the sys• The required standard of education and ational Service." Chelsea Lose at Harlington Inside..m Chelsea suffered a demoralising loss By Andrew Ofori helped themselves." recently, but on this occasion it was not The discovery was made when the Letters 6 at the hands of Arsenal. While the Pre• players were changing after showers - miership team was training at Harlington and various members of the team Columns 8 on 28 January, their changing rooms noticed some of their personal a effects were raided and six unfortunate mem• had disappeared. I our watches with a Film 12 bers of the team lost valuable posses• total value of £18,000, a wrist bracelet sions. worth £1,000 and a significant amount of Sabb Interviews 14 Harlington, the Imperial College cash were missing. The thieves' haul was Union Sports Ground, houses Imperial believed to total around £20,000. Music 16 College and Chelsea FC changing rooms The Police have mounted an exten• in a single building, with Chelsea's facil• sive investigation involving the CID. A Arts 20 ities being cordoned off from the col• Scotland Yard spokesman refused to lege's section. The parties also run these identify the specific victims, and merely Clubscene 22 facilities separately; Chelsea provide their commented "It appears to have been a own security in the form of two guards, fairly straight forward theft while the play• Games 24 but as stated by Mick Reynolds, Harling- ers were out training." Chelsea have ton's Head Groundsman, the thieves upgraded security measures at Harling• Sport 26 clearly "got past them easily." Unim• ton, with staff locking all doors and pressed with such inept security he con• Chelsea's Glanfranco Zola Is far from patrolling corridors, but as Mr Reynolds Crossword 28 tinued: "someone just walked in and pleased with the loss put it "unfortunately it's a little bit too late." 2 News 8 February 1999 Chem Eng Revue Review On Tuesday 2 February the Chemical Chemical Engineering Society for their Engineering Society held its Annual By Padraig McCluskey hard work over the past 50 years which revue In dB's. A large crowd of approx• has lead them to their current strong issue 1135 imately 100 were in attendance to wit• position. ness a great night of entertainment. After the interval the old hacks (4th 8 February 1999 The evening started when mem• years) made their appearance stage left, bers of the third year treated the audi• presenting "Whose degree is it any• Editor: Ed Sexton ence to a sketch entitled "Alan Jones - way?" This sketch took the format of the Assistant Editor & Films: David Roberts Beat this for puns per minute". This was similarly titled Channel 4 programme. News Editor: Andrew Oforl a delightfully well-written sketch with the The last sketch of the evening was Music Editors: Dennis Patrickson innuendos flowing thick and fast. Next written and performed by two new & Jason Ramanathan up were the first year blokes in drag, or members of staff; Claire Adjiman and Arts Editor: Helena Cocheme the Vice Girls, as they prefer to be called. Omar Matar. Professor Stephen Richard• Games Editor: Gary Smith The group did two songs; Wannabe and son and the Head of Department, Pro• Clubscene: Gurminder Murwaha 2 become 1. However the lyrics were nique the third years use. Helped by his fessor John Perkins, ably assisted them. & Joel Lewis slightly doctored to suit their filthy able assistant he proceeded to describe This sketch also centred on a selection Sports Editor: Gus Paul minds. Well done to Akira Kirton the five levels of love, from choosing process. This interview was based on Photographic Editor: William Lorenz (minger spice), Trev Dhruphalshah (hairy which type of relationship is best for you the selection of research candidates. spice), Barry Edmondstone (wolfie through to how to separate from your Although this was not as side splitting spice), Howard Buckley (toff spice) and loved one. This sketch was my per• as some of the other sketches, the gen• Nick Holt (camp spice). The next act sonal favourite, and indeed had every• eral consensus was that it was at least came from the second years, who did body in the audience in stitches. good to see the staff making an effort. In brief... a rendition of Blind Date, where three Reuben Connolly (President) and Sanella The evening was a great success, blokes revelled in the opportunity to Hodzic (DSO) from the City and Guilds especially as so many people made the parody their lecturers. Executive arrived on stage next to illus• effort to come and support it. Special Chris Woodroofe produced a real trate a light-hearted approach to thanks must go to those who wrote Election Update treat for the next sketch; "Professor squeezing money out of the City and and performed the sketches and all the Woodroofe's Hierarchy of Love". Appar• Guilds. This was followed by a short members of staff who took the trouble The Union breathed a sigh of relief this ently this is based on a design tech- speech by Mr Connolly, praising the to attend. week as all nominations were filled. As Felix went to press, four new candi• dates had put their names forward; one individual, SCC treasurer Kevin Debt Decreases Your Health: Official Butcher, has even opted to stand for the newly formed Deputy President Disturbing new research to be published support the new loan scheme over its first (Education and Welfare), and has the in The Psychologist shows that students By Sunil Rao two years. required twenty seconders. are twice as likely to suffer from ill health Alarming levels of student poverty There are two more candidates and reduced mental well-being as their in debt were more likely than others to were highlighted in a Times Higher Edu• for the post of DP (Finance and Ser• contemporaries who are not at university. know other students who were involved cation Supplement poll revealing that vices): Ian Clifford, the CGCU treasurer, The study by Dr Ron Roberts, a psychol• in prostitution, drug dealing and criminal three-quarters of non-first year students who has eighteen seconders; and Paul ogist at the University of Westminster, has activities in order to bolster their financial have cut back on buying clothes, shoes Hickman of DramSoc, who is fully sec• confirmed what most students'already state.