<<

ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:23 Page 1 (1,1)

IssueOut 942 - Weekly with the old,Thursday 1st Octoberin 1998 with the new!

Schroeder wins German Election News in Brief After 16 years in power, tional left wing of German poli- euphoria of freedom and democ- Chancellor Helmut Kohl was tics and claim to be the represen- racy has long since been replaced Levis cut jeans elected out of office in Sunday’s tatives of the “new centre”. by the realisation of economic Levis Strauss, the company that invented blue jeans is to close four plants in German Elections. He will be Indeed many find it hard to dis- hardship including mass unem- Europe with the loss of 1,560 jobs. Demand for jeans is falling at 4% a year. replaced as Chancellor by tinguish between several foreign ployment. New Albanian PM Gerhard Schroeder whose Social policies held by Schroeder and 31 year old former student activist Pandeli Majko, of the Socialist Party has Democratic Party won 41% of the those held by Kohl. By contrast, The end of Chancellor Kohl been nominated to take over the much troubled Albanian state following the vote. No one party won enough the Green Party, who in all proba- marks the end of an era. Kohl resignation of Fatos Nano on Monday. seats to form an overall majority bility will share power, is seen as was instrumental in the transition and it is looking increasingly like- quite radical. Their policies period of the late eighties. He Malaysian protests escalate ly that Mr Schroeder will choose include an end to, or at least a brought about unification and Malaysia’s ousted deputy Prime Minister has pleaded innocent to nine to form a coalition government mass scaling down of, nuclear strove towards further European charges of corruption and illegal sex acts and claims to have been severely with the Greens, who received power, something the French integration. Kohl forged close beaten whilst in custody. Amnesty International have called for his release unexpectedly high backing with could never compromise on; the links with both France and and claim that the allegations against him are politically motivated. Mr 6.7 % of the vote. The large reduction of NATO, (contrary to Russia. His departure could be Anwa’s principal accusers have already retracted their confessions. Before swing towards the left in Mr Schroeder’s belief that the first in a line of faces to leave his arrest Mr Anwar was at the head of the volatile campaign for political Germany follows today’s Germany should at last become the political map. With both reform directed at his former boss, Prime Minister Mahathir Mohammed. European trend, set by Blairism militarily involved in Nato peace President Clinton and President Fresh demonstrations are planned calling for both the release of Mr Anwar in Britain and by Lionel Jospin in keeping missions), legalisation of Yeltsin clinging on to power and and the resignation of Prime Minister Mahathir Mohammed. France. Many people in cannabis and same sex marriages. President Chirac being increas- Germany have reiterated com- ingly undermined by the left wing Hurricane Georges - the clear up begins ments frequently heard last May The other main winner in the government of Lionel Jospin, the Hurricane Georges has been downgraded to a tropical storm but has already in Britain: “It was time for a election was the ex-communist end of the millennium is set to claimed the lives of up to 400 people across the Caribbean. A state of emer- change.” Party of Democratic Socialism. become a new transition period in gency has been called in many areas as the scale of the damage becomes Mr Schroeder’s Social Democrats The PDS polled a large amount of world politics. apparent and clear up operations get under way. have moved away from the tradi- support in the east, where the Out with the old, in with the new.

INCREDIBLE EXCLUSIVE COMPETITION - SILVERSTONE’S 50th Birthday Party - This Weekend Win 2 Weekend Pass tickets to the Silverstone Golden Jubilee Race Meeting incorporating the Autumn Gold Cup. Silverstone’s 50th Birthday Party - Saturday 3rd October - 1800 An evening of Star Cars, Star Guests and spectacles. Be there for race day on the Sunday and watch the GT’s, formula 3, Porsche’s, historic sports cars and TVR Tuscans. Entries must be in by Friday 14.00 either in the BareFacts Box (outside the BF Office) or by email to Barefacts@.ac.uk . The tickets will only be available for collection on Friday afternoon from Dave Hamilton. The winner will be drawn from a hat containing all correct entries at 15.00. The winner will be notified shortly after the draw. Please provide contact details for Friday afternoon/evening. Failure to do so will render your entry null and void. Please answer the following question: Mikka Hakinnen is on the brink of winning this years world championship. Who is the only Finnish driver to have previously taken the Formula 1 World title?

News 1 n Letters & events 2 n Review & features 3/4 n Music 5/6 n Entertainments Guide 7 . Notices & Personal & Crossword 9 n Features 10 n Surrey Pride 11/12 ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:23 Page 2 (1,1)

2 News Thursday 1st October 1998 n Letters CampusDance presents Dear Ed I would like to express the opinion (and I Nate seem to have taken this somewhat lit- speak for many) that Saturday night (26th) erally. Must the union continue to book at the Union was a considerable rip-off. I “B/C celebrities” at the [considerable] conveyed this to a member of staff on the expense of the membership of this union? I night and the response was that “it was for dread the prospect of future such acts the freshers” . I would argue that it was at booked, facilitated in a company - sorry, “a the expense of the freshers, and the rest of union” - eager to make huge profits. Who us who were naive enough to hope for a rea- next? John Alford (£8), Toya Wilcox (£10), sonable night at the Union on a Saturday. Richard and Judy Sing the Blues (£14) - Ultra Nate’s show “ (blink and you missed although perhaps fifteen minutes would be a it)” was entertaining while it lasted, but blessing! I commend most of the work that approximately fifteen minutes didn’ t justify is undertaken by our entertainments com- the premium placed on ticket prices for the mittee, but to quote another old adage, “ you evening. Most of the audience were per- get what you pay for” On the evidence of plexed when they promptly left the stage, Saturday night we paid for what we didn’ t but no encore followed (presumably that get. I implore the entertainments committee would cost another £6). to, quite literally, sort their acts out. To quote the old adage, “everybody has Yours sincerely their fifteen minutes of fame” but Ultra Tom Merryfield Dear Ed Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was under fact, on the front page? For that was little the impression that Bare Facts is a newspa- more than what this supposed news item Unplugged per. My emphasis here is on the word was, one individual’s view of the success of ‘news’. I wonder then, what the article such a tactic, a hackneyed view at the best “If music be the food of love, play on”, so annual talent contest. (rather strangely) titled ‘Burning the Candle of times, hardly a novel approach or inter- said Shakespeare and who would disagree? at both ends!’ (issue 940) was doing on the esting angle that might have justified it’s Certainly not I, because between you and This Tuesday (Wk5) last years finalists front cover? This story, for those who prominence. If items like this have to be me, there’s nothing I enjoy more than listen- COY return to the Unplugged stage to enter- missed it, concerned the arson attack on the given column inches, surely they should be ing to good music in the company of tain yet again. This privilege is yours for Human pyschopharmacology unit at the on the inside pages, with the other opinions? friends. Who knows, I may even have a just £1. Royal Surrey County Hospital, supposedly What a pity, because the rest of the paper lager or two, just to be sociable like. by Animal Liberation activists. My ques- seems to be shaping up nicely. Surely we Before this at 7pm, prior to the screaming tion is then, are we allowed to deliver our can do better than this? Picture the scene, if you don’t mind, of a hoards arriving to see COY (Tuesday Wk5), subjective opinions, passing them off as Yours, Head Shakingly Tuesday evening each odd week of semester we will be holding our AGM, to which you in the Helyn Rose bar. The dancefloor is are cordially invited. The main purpose of Strangely Shaped Editorial covered with candle lit tables, populated by this meeting is to elect committee members students, their friends and fantasies, eagerly and we want you if you think you’ve got the Freshers week is over and the aftermath is petition, I am awaiting the latest offering from the spunk to help run ‘the best society on cam- clear. As we all count the costs to our wal- forever jealous. UNPLUGGED team. pus’. If you don’t fancy a committee posi- lets, health and reputations it is time to set- By the time you tion, think we may be interested in a band tle into the routine of term time. I hope you read this I am At UNPLUGGED we offer you excellent you know of or just can’t control your all benefited from the Freshers festival. I hoping that the live music and entertainment from students curiosity, please feel free to pop along to the remember that I signed up to every society Surrey sports and professionals in a wonderful chilled out meeting before the evening’s entertainment and willing put my name to anything that teams have sent atmosphere. We organise gig trips, live kicks off. would offer me a freebie. I never had any Chichester’s radio broadcasts as well as the awesome intention of joining everything, if anything. teams packing in However this is the time to seriously sit the first block Oh No, It’s Silly Bond (age) night! down, think what you would like to get fixture of the involved in and go for it. Next week look season. Discover all the results and scan- That’s right, Bond is back and he is coming silly night only lasts for a few hours, so trea- out for an Electrasy competition, following dalous reports next week in the Surrey Pride to silly night this Wednesday, so get out sure those moments and lookout for run- their superb performance on Sunday, and to pages. The best bit of news I can share with your golden gun, point your golden finger at away thunderballs on your way to Bo’s. the winners of this weeks Silverstone com- you this week is that apparently Ms your golden eye (or anywhere else) and Over and out, love from…. Code Name Lewinsky has stated that “I accept that silly night never dies. It just S.H.E.E.P and all her fluffy helpers. have nothing more to tell”. develops a couple of mushrooms, a slightly P.S. In case you were wondering, its also a What a relief! green tinge and a hint of rigomortis. bondage night, so if you can’t find a James, Finally let me bring your In order to get your double+mixer for £1 you could bring along a gimp instead – pick attention to the fact that bring along a ‘Bond related item’ such as a one up off the streets like I do, or make your October is Breast Cancer piece of exploding chewing gum, or even own out of bin bags, sticky back plastic and Awareness month. For more better, dress up, eg as an evil old man a small ferret. Baaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Feel that details pop in to see me or stroking his fluffy white (Octo) pussy. rubber baby. Alex in the Sports Office. Remember, diamonds may be forever, but The University of Surrey Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Society Going to University, for many of us, is bership in the past few years. It is aimed You can come to socialise and to meet the first time that we are away from at making to terms with our sexuality other students, or take a more active home. It gives us the chance to become that little bit less stressful. Whether you role in LGB issues. If you would like to independent, and to develop into our want to talk to somebody in private, or talk or write to somebody in confidence, own individual characters. It also gives whether you choose to attend the meet- then contact us via our e-mail address. us the opportunity to question our- ings, the LGB Society aims to provide a Those who choose to contact the society selves and what we want from life. confidential, safe and friendly environ- in what ever way, will not be judged on Coming to terms with our sexuality, ment. their sexuality, and no-one will make whether it is straight, lesbian, gay or that decision for you. bisexual, can be a very stressful time. Who is the LGB Society for? You can be made to feel isolated, guilty It is for any students who are interested If you think that the society is for you, and alone, which makes coming to in, or appreciate issues of gender and have any further comments to make, or terms with it so much harder. sexual orientation. Whether you are would like further information e-mail: However, many of us come through it already out and wish to meet other LGB [email protected] for the better and are able to enjoy life, students at the university, or you are in a more open minded way. confused about your sexuality and want And remember our meetings are held somebody who has been through it every TUESDAY, 8PM, TB20b. What is The LGB Society? already to talk to, the LB Society is here Thanks for your time in reading this It is a society that has grown in mem- to try and help. article. ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:23 Page 3 (1,1)

n Thursday1st October 1998 3

STUDENT COUNCIL Fancy getting on in the Union?

Thursday 8th October, 1-2 PM on the resigned, so don’t risk it! The meeting is Union Executive Committee is a group of HIV status and special needs. Works Union dance floor open to everyone, so don’t loose your students, elected by students, to help run the closely with the Overseas’ Student chance to complain and demand answers. Union and give guidance to the 5 sabbatical Secretary, Women’s, Post-Graduate and The next Student Council meeting promis- See you there. officers. There are loads of different posi- Mature Students’ Officers to monitor cor- es to be well worth a look. Come along to tions on “Exec”, from Environmental rect representation and advise on policy. discuss and debate issues such as “Keep Officer to Stage Manager, and we all meet Ideal for someone who enjoys a bit of cam- Wednesday Afternoons Free for Sport” TECHNOLOGY OFFICER once a fortnight to discuss issues, prioritise paigning! motion, elect students into vacant Executive Union business and have a drink. There are a few vacant Exec positions remaining. Women’s Officer positions, particularly the new Technology Long overdue now, a TECHNOLOGY There’s something for everyone, and it’s Protects Women’s interests at University, in Officer position, re-furb of a new vending OFFICER has finally been co-opted onto darn good for your CV. If you’re success- terms of childcare, welfare, education and area and whatever else comes up. It’s your the Union Executive Committee. The deci- fully elected onto Exec, then you can also safety. Liaise with national women’s chance to hear what the Union bods have sion was supported by last Student Council take part in an accreditation scheme, equiv- organisations on matters of concern, and been up to, and have a jolly good argument. meeting, and competition for the post is alent to 2 credits at NVQ level 4 - well report back to exec and Student Council. Look out for the minutes of the last meeting already hotting up! The job will involve and details of the next going up on notice- worth having. It’s run by the Skills being the Union web-site manager; forming, Development programme, in conjunction boards soon. Don’t forget that Student convening and chairing the meetings of the Returning Officer and 2 deputies Council is compulsory for some people - with the Surrey Open College Federation, Jointly responsible for making sure all the Technology committee; representing the and involves keeping records of what you representatives from EVERY amenity, club Union on relevant University committees as elections for the sabbatical officers and any or society, course reps, Union officers. If do during your elected time, and giving a referendums, go smoothly (??). Good for appropriate, and ensuring that the Union is short presentation at the end of the year. you can’t come, send your apologies to making the most efficient use of existing you if you like organising, and have some Duncan Hobbs, Union Chairperson, via the ideas for this year’s elections. Don’t forget technology and investigating new technolo- The vacant positions are: pigeon hole in the post room, or email him gy. Nominations are open - if you want to it’s also an NUS referendum year this time! at . If you fail to stand, please ask for a nomination form, attend and don’t send your apologies, then available from the President’s Office, and be General Secretary Technology Officer you face the possibility that your budget prepared for a show down speech at the next Helps out the Union Chairperson with the Responsible for ensuring the Union uses may be frozen, or your position assumed Student Council in week 5. Student Council meetings; assists the technology effectively, maintaining and Internal Affairs officer sort out and manage updating the Union web page, investigating Video Release - A Life Less Ordinary all the clubs and societies and gets new forms of technology and reporting involved with External Affairs such as back to the Student Council and Exec. A Life less Ordinary is released on video on from these shores today it either has to have NUS liaison, Community action, etc. Monday 28 September 1998 at £14.99 and Ewen Mcgregor or Robert Carlyle in it. Helps if you’re good at writing and word- If you want more advise or information you have to get it. This is no bad thing. As for Cameron, well, ing, as you’ll have to do minutes, agendas, about any of these positions, please see any I read the plot and immediately thought not she proved a lot of people wrong. She can etc. of the Union or sabbatical officers. in a million years. For example: Two act, unlike many of her counterparts and she Nomination forms are available from the angels, a match made did more than Equal Opportunities Officer presidents’ office, and nominations stay in heaven, true love, play her part in Ensures that the equal opp’s policy is open until the post has been filled. See cheesey ending. It a superb film. upheld - race, sex, age, sexual orientation, you at Student Council in Week 5! did not sound like my McGregor type of film. does however Skills Development Programme However A life less carry the film. Ordinary was the For anyone Are you interested in a future career in training or personnel? Like to find third in the set of who appreci- out the basics in training others? A new workshop in “A Beginners Guide to Shallow Grave and ates the come- Training” is taking place on Wednesday 7 October between 2pm and 4pm. This Trainspotting; two dy style of will cover areas like the training environment, being welcoming, awareness fantastic films. It had Trainspotting of others and others which would be a useful first step for those interested to be worth a shot. as much as I in leading future workshops or for society committee members. Ewen McGregor do, then a col- comes across lector’s trilogy Also, don’t forget the “Presentations for the Petrified” workshop taking superbly. Now I boxset featur- place on Friday 2 October (12 noon - 2pm) for those needing confidence or don’t say that lightly. ing A life less additional support in giving presentations. I mean he is an aver- Ordinary, age built, average Trainspotting For more info or to sign up for these or any of the Skills Development looking, excellent and Shallow workshops, contact Rodney Bates by e-mail ([email protected]) or call actor with quite brilliant timing. In this film Grave is something that cannot be missed. ext. 3177. Alternatively, you can leave a note in the Skills Development he gets together with the one and only (£29.99 - released on 28th September). pigeon-hole in the Union. Cameron Diaz, who is quite simply one of This was the best film I have watched in the most beautiful women in the world. It ages and had me laughing throughout. - the Games Review - Ground Zero seems to me that if you want a decent film ed. Ground Zero is the second mission pack improved medic and an all new Carrier. for Quake 2. After being out in the USA Weapons have also been added, giving you Book Review - Excession by Iain M Banks for two weeks, the British games-playing that old Doom favourite - the Chainsaw! public finally got their hands on it on The Prox Launcher allows you to place Honestly, in this kind of book, you’d think worlds to investigate the black sphere Friday. Was it worth the wait? Well, yes proximity mines on walls, floors or ceiling, that they’d be used to indefinable perfect described as an Excession; a theoretically and no. giving ingenious trap potential. Powerups black spheres 53 kilometres across and sit- infinitely powerful entity, but one that Ground Zero follows on from the storyline have also been included, although some of ting sideways across the Universes by now. seems content to do exactly nothing. in the original game. In this scenario, how- them are specifically designed for death- But no, it still attracts enough attention to Although the book is a little bewildering to ever, you have to take out a different set of match use. Features like the Hunter start a war. Banks’ most recent paperback those unfamiliar with Banks’ previous targets in underground Stroggos. The game Sphere, which will surprisingly enough “Culture” (sci-fi) novel is typical of his Culture novels, the quality of the writing is full of cut-scenes to fill you in on the hunt anyone who kills you, make multi- work; it is witty, entertaining, intriguing and makes it very accessible. The major plots of way, and the Communicator that you carry player games much more fun by introduc- packed with more new SF ideas than sever- the novel, although running simultaneously, brings you up-to date as the missions ing a bit of irony and vindictiveness. al series of anything on the TV at the never really meet up, but this is not as dis- develop. Single player missions are One thing that does let Ground Zero down moment. appointing as it could have been, as the colourfully laid out, and have a polished is the design of the multiplayer levels. Minds appear to operate on a different level feel to them. The enemies are well animat- They are basically too large and complex It is, for the most part, a spaceship novel, to the humans. It is the kind of book that you ed, and the artificial intelligence has been to be any fun unless you have 10 or more with the immortal Minds that run the ships would imagine if you wanted a decent SF improved from the original. You now have people playing. They also have the same of the Culture fleet controlling and manipu- novel of literary worth. The literary SF to make sure you keep an eye open, as they basic feel with little variation, something lating the situations that the smaller human behemoths of Frank Herbert and Arthur C. can now use lifts, doors and other moving that disappointed me intensely. and alien characters find themselves in. The Clarke did not have worlds as well thought platforms. New enemies have been added, Some new toys have been thrown in, but lead human character is called Genar- out and believable as these. Read it, even if including a spider-like stalker that can there is not enough difference between this Hofoen, an ambassador to the alien species you hate this kind of stuff. Though not per- walk on any surface. There is almost some- and the original Quake 2 to warrant known as the Affront. He finds himself fect, it is an immensely thought provoking thing hypnotic about the way it moves shelling out for another. called away from his role on the Affront and easy read. towards you. Others include turrets, an Grade: B+ Marker: Gareth Harmer ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:23 Page 4 (1,1)

4 What’s been going on? Thursday 1st October 1998 n

They think it’s all over - it is now! Fresher’s Week Review

What a week! Now, I’ve been to a fair few “Students and Drinking” and, of course, bled for the Club Crawl, and judging by the set up and run the stall all day. A small, Freshers events, but this year has seen the Tuition Fees. I handled the Fees questions state of some of them the next morning, you exhausted but dedicated team of helpers biggest and best welcome new Surrey stu- OK, but struggled to say anything sensible did well! cleared up the chaos left by the Fayre, in dents have ever had. There aren’t many about alcohol abuse! Thanks to the students time for Friday Night Out, featuring Johnny Unions who can get 130 eager Intro Week in Twyford Court, House D (you know who Thursday - the departments turn and our Boy Revel, (and was it Alan Roy’s Wheels helpers without too much bribery. you are!), who agreed to be filmed in their chance for a breather. The first Student of Steel?), which I am still recovering from. Congratulations and a huge thank you to all kitchen that day and on the Club Crawl on Council meeting took place at lunch-time the Helpers - we love you all and couldn’t Wednesday. Incidentally, I forgot to video (watch out for minutes on the main notice I’m about to pop an Anadin ready for have done it without you! it, from 6-7pm last Friday. If anyone’s fam- board in the Union soon), as well as it being tonight - the first night of the new club night ily live in the Meridian TV area and have a a really busy day for all the market traders - on Saturdays in your Union - TONIQ. I Moving-in day was blessed with the best habit of videoing the end of week round-up, Posters, CD’s, Fruit and Veg and white ele- hope everyone enjoys their Kronenberg for sunshiny day of September, making it a please could they let me know? There was phant. While the Pool Competition and £1.25 before 10:30 pm, and Ultra Nate, who great day. The days of the Red Bus Boys also the live music event, Unplugged, fea- Fresher’s SIS event got under way in the will be live on stage later in the evening. I may be numbered, but they will remain in turing Housewife and Keith Donnelly on the Union, we went over to the University Hall have also been madly along to all our hearts for ever! The first night in the main Union stage. Keith, a long standing to an evening reception to welcome new the Electrasy tunes I hear on the radio in Union for our new students was, er, busy! friend of the Union, entertained an enthusi- International students. It was nice to meet preparation for Sunday Night Live. Sorry to everyone who had to wait for ages astic crowd with his musical humour and so many people that day, and I hope you all for a beer - funnily enough, not many stu- Housewife, finalists in last years’ Talent managed to get on camera somehow! Thanks again to EVERYONE who helped dents wanted to work on Fresher’s Night, Competition, went down a storm. Watch with Fresher’s Week. I think we can all be though I can’t think why?? The Vice- out for them throughout the year. Friday was officially the biggest and busiest very proud and collapse with exhaustion Chancellor and I did our best to bore you on Fresher’s Festival ever. We had a hectic now. We’ve done enough welcoming - it’s Monday at the Union reception, but at least More Union lecturing on Wednesday, with morning setting up before the doors opened up to you now! Good luck, happy days - be you got free orange juice. Actually, it was a 14 Student Life talks being given at the at 11am. Loads of societies, trade stalls, safe, be careful, have fun. Work hard, play good job there wasn’t any free alcohol, as same time, in different places, by 10 peo- freebies, interests and activities all pulled even harder and make the most of life at you all went for it big style at the Happy ple?? I never quite worked that out, but Gill together to make it a really special day, Surrey, coz it’s great! Hour and RAG free disco. worked miracles that day. Thanks to every- including my Jumble Sale in aid of Welfare. one who helped with them all. So I take it I made £100 during the day, so thanks for Harriet Sims I got interviewed by Meridian TV on you liked Silly Night! The helpers were a spending your money on such a good cause, President Tuesday morning - something about little worried when 500 Freshers all assem- and a big thank you to Crew, who helped me Union Club Entry Policy

1 All members must show their campus card to gain access after 7pm. Members without their card will not be permitted entry.

2 Full members may sign in 2 guests. This may be done by: Mon - Thurs 10.30 pm Fri 7pm Sat 10 pm Sun 10 pm Members of the Students Union may NOT be signed in as guests.

3.NUS card holders may sign themselves in at any time unless specific restrictions are in place. a UOS NUS card is not acceptable.

4.Guests for FNO must be in possession of a valid guest ticket which may be pur- chased up until 7pm. This guest ticket may be exchanged for a guest ticket for another event if unused. This ticket is not redeemable for cash.

5 Telephone signing in is NOT permitted except for industrial year students & life members. Evidence of this status will be required on entry. R.O.A.R. The management reserve the right of admission without giving a reason. ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:23 Page 5 (1,1)

Thursday1st October 1998 n Features 5

SEMISONIC have one outstanding song, 'Small The Getaway People Town Tribe'. Otherwise, their bass Aldershot West End Centre - 19/9/98 Eve 6 heavy punk-edged rock is unspectacu- The world of Snow Patrol, apart from Polar Bears, is inhab- lar. ited with a good humoured tundral outlook on the inade- 100 Club 17-9-98 Sandwiched between these two bands qauicies of modern society and the emotional trauma it can Three major labels take their latest so- is Semisonic, they have broken bring, as well as some of its more amusing moments. For called "alternative" acts and generous- through big time this summer in the example, the sublime 'One Hundred Things You Should ly present them all on one bill. First up U.S. thanks to the radio play of their Have Done In Bed', borrowing much from Sebadoh, dis- are Sony's The Getaway People. new single 'Closing Time'. Semisonic cusses the problems of entrapment by a nymphomaniac. Named after a tag line from a BP are a weird combination, part mid- Snow Patrol are better tonight than they would have you advert, The Getaway People hail from western rock and part quirky new think. Singer derides himself frequently, Norway and have a pretty light hearted wave pop, a , bass and drums yet his satorial, dark humour is nonetheless razor sharp and approach to their show. Unfortunately, three piece who all sing and play key- the charged punk guitar playing yields a more urgent their blend of the Stereo MCs and boards. Dan Wilson's voice has hints grunge rock sound to supplant the lo-fi of the LP. fails to satisfy. Only the forth- of Todd Rundgren and Michael Stipe, '', a homage to hero worship, is the sweet- coming single, 'She Gave Me Love', is and the music draws its influence from est of songs, 'Absolute Gravity' is a jazzed up funk foray of real interest, definitely catchy and the Replacements, , REM and and 'Days Without Paracetemol', tonight, is beautifully should go down well on the radio. amongst others. Unlike 'Closing Time', but Semisonic's set riotous, fuzzing, reckless and desperate - Lightbody spew- The evening ends with Eve 6. I only the other bands on this bill, however, was full of catchy pop songs, which ing out "build it up, tear it down" like passion was going hope that RCA don't have too much Semisonic are not a one song band. should see them being around for a out of fashion. Inspiring in an uninspiring world. invested in this band, as they also only They may have made their name with while yet. A good thing. Rob Winder Daniel Jones. Llama Farmers/Gel/Pimlico/Dogeared David Devant/Marbaker, Union House 20/9/98 Plastic People, Oxford Street - 19/9/98 This is the third year run- first shock for anyone who's with Vessel complementing The first night for this “Bratpop” (copyright ‘98) presented four teen bands ning that David Devant seen them before is that the crowd on a great call for in under two hours. The “stage” was non-existent with the bands sharing floor space with have played at the union. Vessel wasn't wearing his an encore. They then the audience, separated only by the monitors. First band, Dogeared, summarised them- This means a lot of people quiff but instead was show- launched in to their standard selves nicely by announcing one of their songs as “unoriginal but damn good anyway”. will have seen them before, ing his own short brown first encore song of 'I'm Not Fair to middling similar to 60ft Dolls. Pimlico, promoting their current single, especially second years as hair. They immediately Even Going To Try', which “Elvis We Love You”, did the female fronted thing well, going so far as to have they played the night fresh- launched into a new song whilst on the , this a flute guest on one song. Gel were playing their final gig before embarking on a U.K tour ers arrived last year as well called 'You Are Here', was a new version which with . Punky boy pop in the style of Symposium went down well with the audi- which meant a packed which was definitely one of didn't rely on audience par- ence, some moshing right into the band! The Llama Farmers have just been signed off the night. Everyone was their more catchy new ones. ticipation like the old ver- back of an intense press campaign, mainly on their age and ability to emulate Bush. The expecting the stage theatrics David Devant have changed sion - which was a disap- intimate setting (Plastic People barely holds 150) made for most of the venue becoming a and great singles released in the last year with no more pointment as the audience danger zone whenever they launched into one of their more energetic songs. Bigger venues off the first album. stage theatrics with Ice Man was in fine lung that beckon for the main two acts tonight, a final chance to see them without barriers and secu- However, first there was a and Cocky Young 'Un , now evening. After that the band rity. Andrew Thomas support band called we have to be satisfied with went off and the house Marbaker. To say Marbaker the projectors (still a good lights went up. David were awful would probably idea) and live photocopying Devant last year really were be going too far, however (that probably sounds very an excellent live band with they have a tendency to play odd but they were doing it their on stage stunts which the slow guitar rock. This onto transparencies which meant even if you didn't like meant they stood on stage were then displayed). They the music you could watch plugging out their songs played a set of almost com- and appreciate on stage without much energy. That pletely new songs with only entertainment. The new was until they came up with four recognisable. These songs are also less poppy long tedious instrumentals, were 'Gentleman Jim' (still and catchy than the old which didn't liven thing up superbly rocky for them), ones, which meant no more despite been loud and up 'Cookie’ and then singing the songs back at beat. They sounded like ‘Miscellaneous' in the main the band. However David they were covering other set. All the way through the Devant had to change, after bands slow and boring main set a cry of "Ginger" all they have to get a new songs, and if that was not had gone up from part of the record contract, and whilst dull enough, adding an audience who actually knew this was rather disappoint- instrumental in the middle. who David Devant are. ing for David Devant, if it They weren't truly appaling, When they went off after were any other band it but when the best thing the main set a shout of would have been an about a band is that the 'Ginger' continued before astounding show. drummer's female, you being replaced by the clas- know they just aren’t play- sic call for an encore with Ian Purvey ing great tunes. When them of "Auntie Mable" . David Devant, photograph by Andrew Thomas David Devant came on the The band came back on ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:23 Page 6 (1,1)

6 Music Thursday 1st October 1998 n

WHISTLER - If I Give You A Smile (Wiiija Records) SINGLE OF THE WEEK SINGLES The initial vocals just talk in time with the music, mak- BACKYARD BABIES - ing most of the song seem like a long and dull intro. Highlights (Coalition MARK LANEGAN - Stay (Beggars Banquet) This will eventually build up to something resemblng Records) A melancholy, yet beautiful, lament from “the voice of singing, but it just doesn’t go anywhere. 5/10 E.C. the Screaming Trees”. Far removed from the work of Following their Reading his day job, this makes Leonard Cohen sound positive- appearance and prior to a ly cheerful. 8/10 R.W. UK tour, the Backyard Babies have a new release CAFFEINE - Kill The Brave (Fluffy Freako from their “Total 13” Records) album. The song Get ready for bright fast punk and a tune you’ll be hum- “Highlights” is a fast ming for the next few weeks. Proof that you can get addicted to caffeine!! 8/10 E.C paced, hard rock dose of and attitude packed ARNOLD - Windsor Park (Creation) There’s one heck of a lot of singles that seriously suck lyrics, with tons of energy Mimicking The (over-rated) Verve, at times, this light this week! & adrenaline. Good stuff indie-pop tune, at first listen, is not unlike many others from a very promising today. However, an essence of country, and a very SOUND 5 - Heavy Transit (Gut) band. 8/10 P.L. Byrds-esque ( attempt) b-side, add a Laid-back hip-hop with a “boy-band” style. Starts lot to Creation’s 300th single. 7/10 JRH brightly but by the end it is dragging and repetitive. Not Unfortunately he still thinks that this is cutting edge Sony for more homogenous shit. 2/10 D.J. what is wanted. 4/10 R.W. MISS JONES - 2 Way Street (A&M) and has not understood that too much of it gets very boring. Never mind. 3 / 10 M.D. THE GETAWAY PEOPLE - She Gave Me Love ‘2 Way Street’ is a R&B / Hiphop release which is actu- SHAQUILLE O’NEAL - The Way It’s Goin’ Down (Colombia) ally quite good. Miss Jones is a fresh new talent and (A&M) THE ALOOF - You’ve Just Been Spangled! You might be mistaken for confusing this for real root- could find herself in the main stream charts in the near This American Basket Ball Star gives us his attempt at (Eastwest) sy soul rather than an abomination devoid of any tune future. This is a good single, if you like this style of trying to release a single. His popularity may have an These guys have been around for a while and in an created by the devil himself who apparently has no song you should check it out. 6/10 G.D. influence in America, but I don’t really think that it is industry where so much talent never gets the fame they going to work over here. I wouldn’t suggest that anyone soul. 2/10 D.J. deserve its not surprising to see Aloof have not made it. ICU - Chotto Matte A MOMENT! () buys this single unless they are a big Shaquille O’Neal The press release says “ Standard foundations of To me it sounds out of date, slow , narcotic and biz- fan. 3/10 G.D. This weeks reviews by: collide with pop music, dancing blissfully in a heady zarre. Apparently its a mix of and hip replace- Denise Nicolson, Ian Purvey, Frank Fraulo, Nick fog of obscure scratched samples and trippy swirls of ment op ? 3/10 C.H. 3 PHASE - Snafu Sessions (Novamute) Walsh, Emma Clark, Andrew Thomas, Mario Dias, sound”... which put shortly means that if havent drunk 3 Phase is actually Sven Rohrig, who has been tucked FLICK - Freezer Burnt (Colombia) Gemma Decent, Georgina Tarrant, Rob Winder, a bottle of whiskey or smoked your way through a few away in his Berlin bunker ever since he last released a Fuzzed up funk rock illustrating everything that is Gabriel-Oliver Chanero, James Hemingway, and joints, you will not enjoy this. Very weird. G.C. 6/10 record, back during the time Maggie T was still PM. wrong with music at the moment. Imagination here is Daniel Jones, Paul Leaves, Matthew Anderson He is best known for his idiosyncratic tracks, replaced it seems by the desires of a major label such as which is what this is all about too, tape loops.

this is of the next century. Top tunes J Blige and the likes of recent comercial rn’b stars. head hurting cocophany of beats, fill’s, and inspira- are probably, the delicious, ‘Sun Song ‘80’, and, the Features her hit single “I wanna be your Lady “I rec- tional lyrics - “The Freaks Come Out...The Freak etc..”, space-age, ‘Journey Beyond The Stars’, both complete ommend it to anyone who likes chart r n’b. 6/10 C.H. that ought to extremely well at the clubs. And unfortu- with underlying synth and orchestral melodies, topped nately it’s also quite catchy. I’ll gives this a 5 out BUFFALO TOM - Smitten (Beggars Banquet) with loops, grooves, and all kinds of odds and ends. THE LAPSE - Betrayal! (Gern Blandsten) of 10, just for the great fun you can have playing it Buffalo Tom, a relatively unknown band in Britain, Totally unique, calling it dance music would be an The Lapse is formed from half of the acclaimed band quite loud, while you’re neighbours tripping out of his remain one of the most inspiring and talented bands of injustice, and, although it may annoy you at times, this The Van Pelt, although most of the tracks on this album head! (hee hee). 5/10 M.E.L the 90s. The first thing that stricked me from this album album is a ground-breaking and soothing experience. have quite a different feel to The Van Pelt’s first two. is that the use of keyboards, before a mere accompany- 8/10 JRH First impressions of the album are good with catchy MINERAL-End Serenading(Crank!) ing instrument to back the guitars, has now taken a cen- guitar riffs and a strong drum beat. However, once the Well, first prize for the longest intros track by track. In tral role. The key elements, however, remain - Six (EMI) lyrics kick in it is a bit of a disappointment, with most fact, the whole of the first song sounds like one big unchanged: the lyrics are as beautiful as ever, the This, the long-awaited follow-up to ‘Attack of the Grey of the songs being spoken rather than sang over the intro to the second. As both are in the same key and singers voice a flow of engulfing warmth, and the har- Lantern’ has been accorded rave reviews and compared music. Whilst the lyrics are all very deep and meaning- have almost identical guitar riffs throughout, this could monies as ingeniously and effectively put together as to ‘OK Computer’ in the album of the year’ stakes. The ful, I found it very hard to get into. This album does perhaps be the point. But it doesn’t quite fit, they are they have been throughout the bands 5 previous first bit’s hype, but the second bit is true. ‘OK have its highlights however, namely “Mentabolism” just different enough to make it all sound like a terrible albums. G.C 8/10 Computer’ wasn’t such a great album anyway (unless and “This Is Not The Pure Aesthetic”, with its rather mistake. And when you’ve heard the rest of the album, you have that frame of mind). This is also, while a good disturbing lyrics belying its mellow sound. This is not you realise that that is the theme for all of it. The music AFRICAN HEAD CHARGE – ‘Drums Of album, not a great one. Some good tracks, incorporat- a bad album, but probably takes quite a lot to fully get is basic at the best of times with no feeling that the band Defiance’ (On U Sound) ing the National Anthem and ‘Dance of the Sugar Plum into it and appreciate the lyrical content. 5/10 P.L. members are aware of each other at all, and the vocal- ‘Drums Of Defiance’ is a great name but the sounds Fairy’ but also some...not-so-good tracks. Maybe it’ll ist wails like a man unsure of whether he is in the right produced by ‘African Head Charge’ really defy grow on me. 7/10 MdL VARIOUS *KRANKY* ARTISTS - Kompilation job. But hang on. Maybe that’s the whole point, maybe description. Hidden in amongst this collection of (Kranky) beneath the sheer tedium of this record there is a really sounds are the techno rhythms of mild dance music, P J HARVEY - Is This Desire (Island) Well you shouldn’t really be able to complain, getting a deep message. Then again, maybe not. 3/10 M.A. inquisitive computer generated squeals alongside more The fifth lp from Ms Harvey finds her in her usual som- 70 minute CD crammed full of new sounds for the price traditional drums and, in deference to the band name bre mood. Starting with the whispering tones of of a CD single. But, there’s always a but. These ‘new TRUMANS WATER Fragments Of A Lucky Break perhaps, zulu tribal singing during ‘Hot Pursuit’. Even ‘Angelene’ the dark side continues throughout. Current sounds’ are some of the most bizarre I’ve heard since (Emperor Jones) rap has a place here. The band has some great ideas but single ‘A Perfect Day Elise’ adds a certain catchy qual- mistakenly buying ’s ‘Eleventeen’. Experimental may be one word to describe their music the overall impression is merely average. 5/10 G.T. ity into the bargain but for the most there is very little And as always, there are a couple of well-disguised but I would personally call it a mish mash of sound. as immediate. Synths and drum machines at least pull gems sitting here. Feeling daring with a couple of quid? Instruements out of tuned, off key vocals (called spat MONO - (Echo) this away from her previous outing but as a whole this You might as well buy this, I suppose. 5/10 MdL vocals in the press release) and lyrics that make the If you ever wondered what Dubstar would sound like can only be for fans. 6/10 A.T. insane cringe. And supposedly this is their third album, with a bit of style, or Saint Etienne with tunes, then Cevin Fisher - The Freaks Come Out (Ministry of yikes i hate to think what their first was like. Anyway Mono are a good idea of what you would get. The sin- MOLOKO-I’m Not A Doctor(Revolution) Sound) for innovation 3/10K.M gle off this album ‘’ sounds like a 60’s A second and more assured album from this Well what can be said about this than mind numbing, Parisian chanteuse, over latter day breakbeats. Another twosome. Drum ‘n’ bass roots are still obvious, but classic pop song, the track ‘Slimcea Girl’ sounds like they have moved on to something that could perhaps ALBUM OF THE WEEK an up to date retake on . If your lucky best be described as a more urgent and altogether more - you should get the limited edition two CD version with chunky Portishead. Not that the two could be confused- Introducing cool remixes by The Aloof and amongst even though the female vocalist does a marvellous Beth Cadallaca (K) others. A very good album. 8/10 N.W Gibbons this is not kept up throughout. Some tracks, The first thing that such as “Downsized” sound much more soulful, and strikes you is the The Singles 86>98 (Mute) could be taken away from the heavy beat that surrounds Well, there’s two things that Basildon is famous for it and be transformed into a convincing ballad. By the basic quality of the 1)Denise Van Outen, the blonde bombshell and 2) middle of the album and “Sorry”, you begin to wonder recording. The bare Depeche Mode from the electronic goth/rock stardom. where the band that opened the album with the standout feeling is compensat- This collection of singles is the follow on from the sin- track “The Flipside” have gone. Human League influ- ed more than ade- gles 81-85 and reaquaints us to the past and present ences are fine, but here they sound out of place. quately by the vocals glory days of Martin Gore’s strange, erotic lyrics and Ultimately, they don’t sound too sure of which direc- of Corin Tucker (also Dave Gahan’s harrowing vocals. Earlier tracks like tion they are going. I personally hope it is the way of of post-riot grrrls ‘stripped’ & ‘Personal Jesus’ earned them their gothic “The Flipside”. 6/10 M.A. Sleater Kinney). tinge , yet they also fall in the rock stardom genre with tracks like ‘I feel you’ from the album ‘Songs of Faith - The Globe Sessions (A&M) Folky punk lo-fi soul and Devotion’ It also includes a single which was only Kicking off with recent single ‘My Favourite Mistake’ may not sound like an released in France in 1988 called ‘Little 15’ which is a Sheryl shows that she may now be three albums old but ideal combination but beautifully carved precious gem. So all in all Praise the little has changed. Good ol’ coutry ye-ha’s come in the after listening to Lord. 8/10 K.M form of tunes like ‘There Goes The Neighbourhood’. songs like ‘Your One The overall feel though is generally likeable so long as Wish’ and the Moog YOSHINORI SUNAHARA - Take Off And Landing you don’t concentrate too hard on the lyrics and ignore powered ‘June and (Bungalow) the incidental brass. Expect at least five singles off this July’ it gets hard to This, rather strange, futuristic, album focuses around one. 6/10 A.T. the concept of the ‘Tokyo Underground Airport’, that dislike them. A only the Japanese could come up with. Full of odd- HINDA HICKS - Hinda ( ) refreshing burst of sounding airport monologues and computerised The real, one and only sound of swingy fashionable American based orig- sequences, this has a very ambient air about it. Trip-hop RnB. This is an albulm made to sell, shes sexy inality which is rarely beats, synthesizers, steel drums, and samples galore, and funky and her music resembles the little miss Mary seen here. 9/10 A.T. ed981001.qxd 04/11/9821:24Page7(1,1)

Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 10th 9th 8th 7th 6th 5th 4th 3rd 2nd n

Thursday 1stOctober1998 00.15 Ultraviolet 22.00 GoodMorningVietnam Ceaser &Cleopatra 15.35 Film: 22.00 MaximumBob 18.45 StarTrek Voyager 21.00 Film:ForgetParis 18.00 HarryHill 21.25 Horizon Sun 21.00 Thirdrockfromthe 22.20 CliveAndersonAllTalk 19.30 Eastenders 20.55 LondonsBurning 14.45 Airwolf 22.30 Simpsons 20.55 Evel(Knieval) 20.55 Airport 21.25 X-Files Princess 20.05 Xena:Warrior 17.40 Gladiators 14.45 Airwolf 19.40 TheNationalLottery 12.15 Grandstand 21.00 Friends 21.00 GameOn 18.25 ReadySteadyCook 18.00 TheSimpsons 21.30 Dangerfield 19.50 FawltyTowers 22.00 AllyMcBeal Ripper 23.10 TheDiaryofJackthe 20.30 Two FatLadies 21.30 MenBehavingBadly 19.30 Tomorrow’s World 22.00 Ultraviolet 21.00 Equinox 21.00 Supply&Demand 20.00 TheBill 20.00 UpperCrust 21.00 Liverpool1 20.30 Fat 21.30 RedDwarf 21.00 ShootingStars 18.00 TheSimpsons 23.35 ChicagoHope 20.00 Eastenders 23.35 Southpark 21.00 Friends 18.00 TFIFriday 21.30 GameOn 18.00 TheSimpsons 19.30 TOTP Reading University0118 9860222 PLACEBO, ULTRASOUND Garage 01819630940 JESUS LIZARD,PULKAS AN ROPEMAN BOOM SATELLITES, INDI- Barfly COLOURSOUND (Oxford St.) CHEETARAH VYVYAN, U-BOAT COMMANDER, Empire 01717212000 HOTEL SPARKLE HORSE,NEUTRALMILK Brixton Academy FUN LOVINCRIMINALS 0171 4340403 RED SNAPPER Wedgewood Rooms01705863911 HURRICANE #1 Electric Ballroom TREMOR CONTROL GORKYS ZYGOTICMYNCI,OLIVIA TOR ONE MINUTESILENCE,STIMULA- 0181 9630940 BEATMOLLS, CAY Wedgewood Rooms01705863911 THEAUDIENCE Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms01705863911 SPARKLEHORSE, NEUTRALMILKHOTEL Academy FUN LOVINCRIMINALS Empire 01717212000 DIVINE COMEDY KENT Garage 01819630940 JESUS LIZARD,PULKAS - LondonGarage01819630940 ULTRAVIOLENCE, GENERATION X-ED Guildhall 01705824355 FUN LOVINCRIMINALS The Garage01819630940 HAZEL WINTER Ballroom THEAUDIENCE After Dark MOJAVE 3,COLEYPARK Wedgewood Rooms01705863911 TREMOR CONTROL GORKYS ZYGOTICMYNCI,OLIVIA BAUHAUS It isalwaysadvisabletoconfirmwiththe G FTHE OF WEEK UNION YOUR GIG IN - ReadingAfterDark - LondonCamdenMonarch IG - LondonShepherdsBush venue beforetravelling. Bush Empire01717212000 YOU AMI ROCKET FROMTHECRYPT, BIS, - LondonBrixtonAcademy Beverley Knight - LondonPlasticPeople - LondonShepherdsBush - LondonElectric - ReadingFaceBar - LondonUpstairsAt G - Portsmouth - LondonAstoria - Portsmouth - LondonCamden - LondonShepherds - LondonGarage - Portsmouth - LondonBrixton - London UIDE - London - Portsmouth netimnsGie 7 Entertainments Guide - Reading - London - London - - 12.00(Sun only) Lost inSpace 13.00(not onSun)15.5518.2020.50 Lock, StockandTwo SmokingBarrels 15.2517.45 The LandGirls 12.05 14.00(Sunonly) Dr Doolittle Armageddon 12.10 12.4015.4516.1019.2019.45 Saving PrivateRyan 12.05 The HorseWhisperer (3h&10-mins) 12.15 15.0017.4520.30 Lethal Weapon 4 12.05(not onSun)14.3017.1019.50 Mercury Rising 12.30 15.1517.5520.35 Divorcing Jack 12.25 15.0517.5020.40 There’s SomethingaboutMary Sun -Thurs(4th-8th) 14.20 16.4019.1521.50 Last DaysofDisco 13.45 16.2019.0021.35 Mercury Rising 13.15 (frionly)16.4019.2022.00 Lock, StockandTwo SmokingBarrels 15.55 18.25 The LandGirls 12.20 The HorseWhisperer 20.50 Armageddon 12.35 13.3016.1017.1019.5020.50 Saving PrivateRyan 13.00 15.4518.3021.10 Divorcing Jack 12.15 15.1518.1021.05 Lethal Weapon 4 13.10 16.0018.5021.40 There’s SomethingaboutMary Fri &Sat(2nd/3rd) Thursday 8thOct1998 From Friday2ndOctto 20.05 at 8pmonMonday. Showing at5pmand8pmonSunday high andwatchTV.” Melanie -“notifyourambitionistoget it’s gonnarobyouofyourambition” o’clock.You smoketoomuchofthatshit, you gettinghighalready, it’s just2 the bestquotebeing:Ordell-“geezgirl from Tarantino andamustseemoviewith Ordell. Anotherfantasticperformance the process,agreestohelpFedscatch own existenceandtomakeabobortwoin handed andinanattempttoclingontoher Ordell (Jackson).Sheissooncaughtred across theMexicanborderforgunrunner plement herincomebysmugglingcash the lackofjobprospectsdecidestosup- something airstewardesswho,awareof moment. JackieBrown(Grier)isaforty one ofthebestfilmsaroundat De Nirotonamebutafew, thishastobe Pam Grier,Samuel LJacksonandRober Brown. With anallstarcastincluding the fabandfunkycrimethrillerJackie October. QuentinTarantino isbackwith Brown onSunday4thandMonday5thof We willbeshowingtheexcellentJackie Cineline -(01483)578017 ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:24 Page 8 (1,1)

8 Features Thursday1st October 1998 n

1998: The Year of Designer Pills. Nick Walsh sheds new light on what Clinton has done

As reported in Bare Facts last week, the save the Cornflakes and/or toast for the Even before the election in November 1996 also it wasn’t sex because he didn’t “touch Royal Society of Medicine launched evening. everyone knew that President Clinton was a her to arouse her”. “Xenical”, the mythical cure all: an anti- Off course, eating less will not lead to a southern states Don Juan. This article seeks The whole mess needs to be seen looking obesity tablet. It bears all the hallmarks of drastic weight loss on its own. to put some perspective on how Clintons back over history to see what different pres- Slimfast (“Watch the weight drop off” pro- Unfortunately, all that stored energy has to crimes, which may well lead to impeach- idents have be up to. JFK had a mistress and claimed one of the test subjects). And retail- be expended, hence the need for physical ing at £1-50 (upon prescription), it is cheap- ment appear, when compared with the the press knew all about it, but decided to exercise (cue cold sweat). er that a pint down the Union, and not a beer actions of previous Presidents. In his term stay out. Eisenhower was sleeping with his gut in sight. Campusport recommends exercising 1-3 and a half in power Clinton has done some secretary the whole time he was planning D- times a week on a combination of activities, good including putting his weight behind Day. At first, this might seem like a dream come rather than specialising in just one like run- the peace process in , and true for those with “fuller” figures. At last, ning or swimming or squash. For example, attempting to introduce universal health From the Oval office, our man Eisenhower you can get rid of excess baggage without while running is effective for the more-or- care into America. approved the FBI’s campaign to harass making sacrifices and become a babe/boy- less fit, larger figures could lead to Martin Luther King and Kennedy ordered magnet (depending on your preferences). increased stress on the knees and legs. All this however is beside the point. The Fidel Castros assassination. Johnson However, the side-effects are still unknown. Circuit training is good because every mus- Republicans want to get back into power approved lying to Congress about the North So before you rush to the Health Centre, cle in the body is used. why not try the tried-and-tested methods and are stirring up the issue by trying to Vietnamese attacking an American boat available on campus. Campusport offers a range of exercise facil- exaggerate irrelevant, non-political issues (which led the Senate the next day to ities and more information and advice is such as many of those contained in the approve the beginning of the Vietnam War). First up, dieting. It’s obvious, boring and available from the staff. porn Starr report. It seems this does not The war had claimed over two million was the easiest way to get thin. Eat less, no bother the American public as the Vietnamese lives when the US was forced to problem. Of course, to avoid being tempted, For those not partial to masochism, there are Presidents rating actually went up two withdraw in 1975. you would have to spend the unused money other ways. Going anywhere on campus for points after publication. on other products - beer, books, clothes, etc. a start. It is built on a hill, there is not a sin- Thousands of innocent civilians were killed gle lift in sight (except Senate House) and The human body, like those of other ani- The family values campaign with which the during the Nicaraguan conflict during the every route from A to B involves at least mals, operates on instinct. Therefore, it is Republicans are using to target Clinton Reagan era. The US invasion of Panama in one flight of steps or gradient. more natural to eat when hungry rather than eventually backfired on them after former 1989 involved 26,000 troops and cost at set times. Obviously, this can be inconve- There is always Bojanglez (student night, lovers and their spouses actually came out 10,000 Panamanian lives. President Bush nient and/or impossible at times, unless you Wednesday). Nightclubs must have started to spill the beans on Clintons accusers. ordered Young Americans to go and fight fancy nibbling on the ear of the girl/guy as a self-help group for the fat people. Songs and die in the Gulf War (partly their own next to you in the lecture, or licking it out in like ‘Don’t give up’ (Michelle Weeks), In the video of Clintons questioning there friendly fire caused this though). desperation. ‘Can’t help myself’ (Lucid) and ‘Encore was not one question about Whitewater, Une Fois’ (Sash) were surely written for According to a Campusport official, it is far Travelgate, Filegate, etc. (even though n By removing Clinton on these grounds, we Generation-F (for flab). better to have small portions often rather these were the reasons why the investigation are saying that what other Presidents have than bingeing. In that way, the body’s It has been scientifically proven sex helps was instigated in the first place. Clinton done in office is not anywhere as near as metabolism is continually working hence you get slim and fit. A half hour shag can was made to look an idiot questioning the immoral or illegal as what Clinton has done. the food is digested quicker. This also burn up to 200 calories (depending on how interpretation of words and their meanings If this becomes the standard for impeach- explains why breakfast is the most impor- vigorous it is). i.e he didn’t really “touch” because Ms ment, a persons private sex life, then tant meal of the day. The body needs to get By now, you are probably getting desperate. Lewinsky had clothing over her breasts and America is truly a confused place to be. into the daily rhythm, after a good night’s Fortunately, the last method to lose weight sleep (sleep, interesting concept that). “One may be more attractive. However if you should eat breakfast like a king, dinner like drink as much alcohol as you can to the a prince and supper like a pauper.” point of throwing up, you must be willing Mmmm. This dieting stuff sounds good. to trade excess baggage for hangovers from One could have breakfast of bacon, sausage, hell, failed kidney and cirrhosis of the liver. beans, hash browns or sautéed potatoes, and Maybe Xenical is not such a bad idea, after tea or coffee for £1-25 at the Lower Bar, and all. Pravin Jeyaraj ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:24 Page 9 (1,1)

n Thursday1st October 1998 Notices & Personals 9

■Hello Angela, was ■ Genes - Bollocks, McDonalds Personals the car racing fun on you lazy git! E’s ■ Melly the Fish- Notices ■ ■Zammo! Whats it deano, did you see Monica presented sunday? Silky “chande- where are you Melly Norwegian Society AGM - 30th September 18.00 ■ liers” Kapor, your the Fish? We can’t all about? - Peenie the size of those Bill with a cigar Tequila Slammer Lecture Theatre B Athletics assets? holder, for when she Kev?!? my Deliah love dear find you in your ■ ■ ■Well done Kev for john Bowl? Red Bus Boys First years - don’t couldn’t be there in Iranian Society AGM - 30th September18.30 TB11 (S.U.R.F.C.)1 get Jellyfished! person... hurling so well- ■Emma, 97% ??? ■ Shall We go to Freshers 0 ■ Eli, is that more ■The colour bright red too!! Could he be bloke Cindies BIG ■ ■ Becky Tutt just prawns, in your Turquoise will short- When I grow up, I number 5 ? What’ll STYLE! Unplugged Society AGM - 6th October 19.00 Helyn slides on that dance bag?? ly be back in the want to be a chip- happen to the other 4 ■ Why is everyone Rose Bar floor ■ Sarah, were you building... pendale!! ? so depressed, Neil Singapore Student Society AGM - 7th October 19.00 ■ ■ ■ ■ Shelagh...i saw out of the house, oh ■Hop-along Rabia!! ok its sad.and For hire: 4 unwant- BOB’s done it LTL the flickering shad- sorry, wrong person You think that you’d we’re grownups... ed males, all house again, shagged us ■ trained (usually), backwards, who ows of love on her ■big thanks to al learn after the first but DOMs - just a No Wave Society AGM - 15th October 19.30 Hari’s couple for old times one careful owner, cares, it’s only a bra! and the quite helpful time!! Bar ■ Jo Begum.....i claire-a.r ■Anyone for a game sake? SOBs contact Emma degree....then again ■ ■ love you.... D Barn ■A weekend of bliss of sexual tetris? I only want a slice Big D, How many if we cry we get by!! ■ Hellenic Society AGM - 13th October 18.10 LTL (can you water me awaits! LN ■Back to ‘Les pied of pizza you people are you going Addidas!! From now please!) ■Something Violet, grands’ for a chi- b*%£$*d!, to watch s***ging 24 Elections - 20th Oct 18.10 LTE ■ ■ Jen, CONGRAT- Something Blue, Up nese! But she’ll have G £2 a song, this term. A better looking first ULATIONS AND the Vineyard, Can to swap rooms with excellent value for ■7375- are you year but twice dappy Thursday 1st October - Welcome Party for GOOD LUCK we come too?? ‘la poubelle’! money going to pull the Slimy Crocker’s International Students 19.30 at the Lakeside ■ ■To my fellow strip- ■ Rufus and ■BP - Biker For sale:”R” reg cleaning ladies this back on form then Resteraunt - please bring your invitation with you. pers, get in contact Linebird - Get Persecutor green fiesta, good year? WG ■ Cheeky tall dar ■ Invitations are available from the Chaplains Office. about T.F.I, me61lg Polishing those ■Ben, sam wants to condition but large Welsh Anthony dim psychologist ■ dent in and Irish Sarah, I seeks fit but stupid The cathedral last sequined platforms - know if you would Sunday 4th October - A guided tour round historic year, the union stage only 61 days to go like any indicator on door. For more info know about you partner (preferred Guildford. Meet at 14.30 outside the University this year!! ■ Housewife - you that pizza topping! contact Raph W two!!! initial “J”) ■ ■ ■ ■Ian M-happy rock! ■Jenny in B’s Wanted Partner bton has no Will someone be Library. Followed by tea at Cathedral LCose birthday! (sorry its ■ Just cause Dan House,Fancy a meal for SS Chairman, girlz.....whatta pack Chris’s friend? late) shows his arse off, sometime? preferably female, o’shamblez!!!!!! ■ Only I and I have Ballroom Dance Society ■ ■ so who’s the doesn’t mean you ■“the library restu- but not fussy as des- Suzie. Your smile the power! We have lessons every Wednesday at 7.30pm in the ■ block?????? have to top it! rant girls” didn’t see perate. Find him lights up my world. Who will be Dim University Hall. near A,G & T, usual- A.S Sum’s 31st? ■ Eliska, last time I O’Little One! from many people on sat- Beginners welcome and no partner needed! saw Steven he let me 24. urday, why? eat ly. ■ I’m not supposed Psychologist tarzan ■ ■ For further information please email Steve : in on a few secrets ■ For those great food, cheap How’s the cheek, to be here. wannabe sees his ■ [email protected] ■The lynx effect... unaware, ginger hair (10-2). Lucy? Hopefully Happy birthday Jane ■ and I have a photo to is a full body experi- ■EIL-2b wants us Well. Take Care & HANAH, Happy Hello campus prrove it... ence!Freshers back, I was told I’ll see you around, birthday HANAH. from the 11th WANTED ■On the pitch at Beware of GT’s. (CO) you don’t need baby. Sid Ashenden boys Wembley stadium - Attractive to worrey about the ■ Tom, Do blondes ■ So Tom needs his Minibus Drivers - will need to take/have completed - ■USA Today, fish!!! have more fun? E’s Ice cream from Minibus Test - contact Alex or Gemma in the Sports Crossword No 78 Office extn. 9981 Coaches and referees for various sports - contact Alex or gemma in the Sports Office extn. 9981

RECEPTIONIST STARTS WORK AT THE UNION On Monday, our new Union Receptionist starts work for us. She’ll be on the front desk at the Union Reception from 9-5pm, Monday to Friday every week. We think this will make a big difference to our wel- coming atmosphere. She’ll be able to sell you tickets, do binding, photocopying, making up NUS cards, directing you and visitors around the building and gen- erally making life much easier for everyone. Go and say hello in your lunch break.

TROLLEY FOLLY Harriet Sims, Union President, is meeting with TESCO bosses on Monday afternoon, with the Head of the University Estate, to discuss finding a way of controlling trolley mayhem. I don’t really mind how many trolleys you all “bor- row”, but what I do care about is when partially sight- Across Down ed and disabled students have to fight their way 1. A Derby horse, 1. Motorist’s aid (4-3) through heaps of trolley before they can safely reach for example (5) 2. Expression of the font door of their house. I also care about receiv- 4. Go down (7) dissatisfaction (9) ing nasty calls from local residents about students 8. A weapon (3) 3. Quantities of paper (5) 9. Inflammation of a joint (9) 4. Loathe (6) leaving trolleys outside their homes and in their drive- 10. Annoys (7) 5. Performer of operations (7) ways. We must find a solution to this ridiculous prob- 11. Hostile person or people (5) 6. Consume (3) lem - I was very impressed (and alarmed) that we 13. Royal personage (6) 7. Darkish (5) managed to acquire over 200 TESCO trolleys in 5 days 15. Part of a shoe (6) 12. Amuse (9) in and around campus - that’s good going by anyone’s 18. Place offering 14. Gather together (7) standards! accommodation (5) 16. Painter’s board (7) But please, in the meantime, have a little considera- 19. Naval VIP (7) 17. Perplex (6) tion...... ? 21. Winged insect (9) 18. Custom (5) 23. Perform (3) 20. Chief citizen (5) 24. A frame used for support (7) 22. A small extremity (3) 25. Wash in clean water (5) Compiled by Jeff Blackham Last weeks solution Across: 1. liberate 5. miss 9. merry 10. relieve 11. sullen 12. acted 14. school 16. recall 19. exalt 21. excess 24. instant 25. whole 26. kiss 27. fearless Down: 1. lump 2. borough 3. royal 4. throng 6. inept 7. speedily 8. old age 13. asterisk 15. outlay 17. assuage 18. settle 20. assess 22. cower 23. mess ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:24 Page 10 (1,1)

10 Features & Surrey Pride Thursday1st October 1998 n

cede somewhat to Driver 1. There was fit and well to race within the month. Slick Swede Success at Silverstone have been quite a few occasions But what the incident did highlight was the 26 races - 13 was threatened with the 30 day loss of his where Plat (no 2) has had the mass of talent available to Vauxhall from the weekends - 8 racing license which would have put pay to opportunity to overtake Menu but, knowing Vectra Championship. Replacing Cleland at venues - 8 manu- his title bid, with only 20 days left and 4 that he’d get a slap on the wrist from Thruxton, Brazilian Flavio Figueiredo has facturers - 20 dri- races until the final at Silverstone. A few Williams when he’d get back to the pits, had gone on to win the coveted Vectra vers - 1000s of thousand pounds fine and 20 penalty points to hold back. Fortunately next year, with Championship and wins himself a drive in a spectators. between them and the two men were left no Menu going to Ford, it seems like Jason will Vectra for the next BTCC season, running as doubt even more determined than ever! have the free reign he needs. an independent. The Auto Trader RAC British No one can deny that Volvo and Nissan have Honda is a victim of its marketing man- That only leaves Ford, Peugeot and Audi, Touring Car both managed to disprove their age-old agers’ pre-season hype and hasn’t done as not much to say about the latter two only Championship came to a close for 1998 at images. The Volvo estate complete with well as predicted. However Yorkshire terri- that you can presume that the first car into Silverstone this weekend, after an incredible accountant and 2 Labradors has blossomed er James Thompson hasn’t done too badly the pits is always a Peugeot and that they season. After the previous round at Oulton into a true mean machine. for himself with a win at Croft, Yorkshire must have a special discount with their body Park, Cheshire, the championship title was The S40, in the hands of shop. never closer - only 12 points between Rydell and ex-F1 star Rikard Rydell (for Volvo) and Anthony Reid Gianni Morbidelli has Oh..... nearly forgot, Nigel Mansell. Token (for Nissan), meaning that if Reid had won shown, on one hand, that Touring Car part-timer. Luckily for him it the sprint race at Silverstone, thus receiving it’s a true racer and, on the was raining so heavily at Donnington that he 15 points, the feature race could have been other, that it has consisten- managed a first place purely because every- the decider. Instead (and I know your editor cy (not one piece of Volvo one else had come off. (Miaow) But seri- is grinning inanely) the track was awash has been left on the track ously..at least he’s drawn in the crowds. with blue and yellow with a Swede smell of all season). Nissan’s success as Rydell finished ahead of Reid in Anthony Reid/David The sheer number of spectators that have the Sprint Race taking with him the Leslie line up has proved followed the championship (there were 35 Championship title. to be a great partnership. In talking about and Snetterton, Norfolk. I expect that James 00 people at Silverstone last weekend) goes Reid I mustn’t forget Leslie; this Scot has thinks that he could have done better - but to show that Touring Cars is raising its pro- It was no smooth ride to the top. On the had 6 podium finishes to Reid’s 14. Nissan there’s always next year. file as a top quality racing championship. contrary, there have been as many off track have done well to win the Manufacturers The number of fans who follow the incidents as on. The August bank holiday Championship after only 2 years on the From one of the youngest to one of the ex- Championship round the country from meet at Brands Hatch saw Rydell, in front Touring Car scene. F1 veterans - Derek Warwick - driver and Knockhill to Thruxton is astonishing. And with five laps to go, being overtaken by triple 8 Vaushall manager has been making yet it is a great day out! You may think it’s Reid. The whole Nissan hospitality suite So where’s Alain Menu (with ’is sexy little various noises about ‘bowing out’. He’s had just a bunch of petrol head fanatical males were falling over their flags with excitement Gallic smile)? The new smart Blend 37 liv- a mixed-bag season - a superb win in the proving their virility but the skill involved is and even though the overtake looked fairly ery on the Laguna is not the only thing to throws of a storm at Knockhill and yet not just incredible. How many of you really smooth from the embankment, it was ruled male the Renault stand out from the pack. much else. Vauxhall had a close shave with think that you could brush the curbs at to be dangerous by the stewards. In copy- The Menu/Plato combination has not only disaster at Snetterton when Menu’s Laguna Silverstone with an average speed of 120 cat Shuey style, Rydell launched himself at produced 4 wins but some incredible driving T-boned John Cleland’s Vectra. A complete mph I the racing version of your Mum’s Reid in the pits; the two men finding them and on track friendly team mate rivalry. It’s accident - Cleland was quoted as saying that Honda Accord? selves hauled into race control for a good been similar to the earlier-in-the-season when he saw Menu coming at him at a right- Jo Thompson old style telling off. At one point Rydell Mclaren boys where the Driver 2 has had to angle that ‘that was it’. Fortunately the Scot Dear Russ USFC Sports Fayre Raffle Results Dear Russ gest, though, that a better way to explore the I’m pretty sure that I’d like a job related possibilities for using your degree would be The raffle draw was held at the Varsity Centre, 6pm, on Saturday 26th September, to my degree when I leave. The trouble is, to pick up a Signpost Sheet from the Careers 1998. a friend told me there are half a dozen Service. You’ll see these facing you as soon things I could consider. How can I find as you walk in. They cover all of the occu- The following tickets were drawn to receive the stated prizes; out what they are? pations which graduates from particular degrees enter. Underneath the Signpost 2 Tickets for Wimbledon vs . Winner; Gayle Hammond. Dear John, Sheets are files marked “Your Degree - You didn’t say what degree you were doing! What Next?” These contain very full 2 Tickets for Wimbledon vs Blackburn Rovers. Winner; Jon-Paul Sammuels. Never mind, I’ll do my best to answer in a descriptions of degree-related jobs. They way that covers all of them. First of all, even have a section called ‘Related Black USFC Umbro Training Top. Winner; Steve Delvin your friend was right when they said you Occupations’ so you can consider other had a choice of jobs. Just suppose you’re ideas at the same time. Before long you’ll Maroon USFC Umbro Training Top. Winner; Gary Nicholls. doing a scientific degree. That means you have a pretty good idea of the different ways could consider research, development, you might use your degree in the future. Shin Pads donated by Campusport. Winner; Darrel Thomas quality control, production, teaching, tech- nical sales and others depending on exactly By the way, the next letter I shall answer is Jackie Brown CD. Winner; Steve Delvin what degree you’ve done. If you’re doing from a student who has the opposite prob- engineering you could consider research lem to you - how to narrow down from a Egyptian Pyramid Paperweight. Winner; Steve De-Wint. design, installation, commissioning, patent wide choice. You may be interested in that work, production engineering and so on. If in due course! Could all winners please contact Paul Cliff on G. 457248 or at the Bare Facts office you’re doing a humanities subject, you Russ Clark (x. 9275) asap. could choose research, finance, manage- Careers Service ment, teaching, and many different areas of PS You might also get ideas by looking at Work Hard, Play Hard degree-related professional practice such as the vacancy information on our website: law, psychology or music. http://www.mis.surrey.ac.uk/misweb/career At Uni, lectures, sport and a touch of social work, they can play hard and achieve decent s/home.htm. A number of employers ask activities seem to dominate your lives. Take results in their academic studies. These ideas may get you started. Can I sug- for specific degrees. away the latter of the three, and believe it or Sports Bursaries not you could combine the two and earn This award is usually given out at the end of some deserved money!! Que? Sport and our academic year at the spectacular Sports Bursaries will shortly be allocated others are from money jointly donated by work? Yes, well if you try hard on both “ Colours Ball”, which of course all sporting for the forthcoming academic year the University and Guildford Borough fronts and show a high level of achieve- bods and friends attend. However, the last One is intended for Golfers and is funded by Council. Any sport can be considered for ment, you could be looking at winning an years Ede Ravenscroft award didn’t find a the Royal and Ancient Golf Club. It is worth these Bursaries, although more value can be Ede Ravenscroft prize for excellence in suitable winning candidate. In a nut shell, £5,000 over four years. Applicants should added if it is one that is catered for in either Academic and Sporting activities. last years award is still up for grabs, there- be low handicap players who are current our own facilities or those of Guildford fore should you yourself or anyone you students at this University. They should Spectrum. The criteria are very similar to The award is open to all students in all years know in your opinion deserve this prized have serious hopes and plans that this those for the Golf Bursaries above. Further of study. In the past it has been given out to award, then all you need to do is contact money should be used to facilitate. We have information and application forms are avail- students showing excellence in their sport myself (Alex-Sports sab on x9981 or Barry provision to appoint six for this year. The able from John Perrin at Campusport. but who have also shown that with the hard Hitchcock on x9200..) ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:24 Page 11 (1,1)

n Thursday1st October 1998 features + Surrey Pride 11 Disgraceful Decision Spoils Tremendous League Cup Campusport Win 1st Week Free Hammer United 1 University 1sts 3 Continues until Following Surrey’s previous encounters Only five minutes later Lee Turner attempt- Sunday 4th October 1998 with Hammer, notorious for their intimida- ed to match the quality of the second goal, tion tactics and studs up two-footed chal- trapping the ball on the edge of the 18-yard With all courses and classes continuing from Monday 5th October lenges, we expected a D-day style body box and curling a left foot strike into the top Vacancies are still available for courses in count from this Intermediate Premier of the net. League Cup Preliminary Round clash. The With the match securely won a moment of last thing any of us could expect, however, madness led to the headline drama. A Squash Badminton Tai Chi Yoga was for our mild mannered goalkeeper, Dan Hammer striker broke free from the Canoeing Dry Ski-ing & Taylor, to be sent off for dissent after he defence and was bearing down on Taylor gave away a penalty, but anything was pos- who, fresh from the recent sprint training Many Dance Styles sible from the standard of refereeing dis- sessions, burst out if his goalmouth like a played on this rainsoaked Saturday after- Madman and made a fine challenge to win noon. the ball. Then to everyone’s surprise and Please enroll as soon as possible at Campusport Centre Against 12 men and the monsoon weather, even to opposition, the referee awarded a For more information please call (25)9201 the Surrey side battled valiantly against the penalty, and Taylor’s dissension saw him hard-core of talentless goons to strike a dismissed from the pitch. The referee had blow in the eternal battle of brain versus shown an automatic red but later claimed Windsurfing reminder brawn. Dave Upton latched onto a gigantic that he was going to give Taylor a yellow for goalkick by Taylor, and swivelled past the the ‘foul’ but added the second yellow as a - A reminder to all those who signed up at the sports fayre, and current members that we grounded Hammer keeper like a ballet result of the Surrey keepers angry protests. will be meeting as usual upstairs in the Union (above the pool tables) at 1pm on Friday. dancer on hot coals to slide the ball home The Club await the official confirmation Among other things we will be organising the forthcoming beginners course, if you can't showing great composure. University con- from the Surrey F.A. with regards to the fine make it but are interested, leave a note in our pigeon hole in the Union. tinued to dominate the 1st half with only and ban imposed on Mr. Taylor. The USFC one notable incident, as Gareth Batty beat centre-back, Glenn Johns, eagerly kitted the Hammer goalkeeper to the ball on the far himself to replace Taylor and defender USFC’s Newest Team Start With A Bang side of the penalty area. He placed the ball Chris Brice came on for striker James University GI Res 6 Cranleigh A 2 onto the right foot of James Hemmings Hemmings. From the penalty spot, Johns inside the six yard box and with most of the made a superb reflex save which reassured Following the success of the strike from the visitors cen- true to plan as Yannis team already celebrating the goal, the team’s confidence. all new Graduate and tre midfielder flew past our Boziaris and Gladiator Cake Hemmings managed to scuff the ball over The last fifteen minutes seemed to last an Industrial year team within keeper, Bob Hodgetts, into worked well at centre backs the bar. Poo-eey! eternity and a late scramble on the goal line the University football club the Surrey net. In all fair- to snuff out any sparks of During the half time interval many were gave Hammer a lucky consolation prize to structure last year, the new ness there was nothing he attacking intent from the amazed to hear complementary words from give a final score of 3-1 to Surrey. Great dis- reserve side began their could do, and the visitors and Spooner and Joe Smiths mouth and the captain inspired plays from Steve Catt, Frank Cassin and campaign on Saturday in Manager/Captain partner- Arild began to dominate in us to complete the job. Gareth Batty came to Gareth Batty, not to mention the eventful keen anticipation of the sea- ship of Spooner and Cliffy the midfield. Muppet life and displayed moments of football that journey home, it was a great day for the yel- son ahead, entertaining an did their upmost to restore Linden came on at right only a few are gifted with, twisting and low and blue army. The post game celebra- experienced Cranleigh side the teams composure and back for the Red-fella short- turning past three defenders and curling the tions did the boys proud as Lanky Shanks at the Varsity centre. Keen get back into the game. ly after the break and stated ball into the back of the net. The surprise on Taylor refused just reward for his exploits, to prove the value of field- his case for a starting posi- the nippy wingers face was mirrored by his only to be deputised by one of Brucie’s ing a second GI side, both to A variety of chances fol- tion, followed shortly by team mates as he supplied further evidence newest recruits. Good Work Trigger! themselves, the Club and lowed and the equaliser was USFC debutante Steve that he can only score with his left foot. 2-0. Trapdoor the Sports Administration, struck when an attempted Delvin coming on for an the atmosphere within the clearance from the injured Semmens. Surrey joins the 31 mile long club! dressing room was infec- Cranleigh keeper only went tious. Only recently granted as far as Kinsey on the wing, Surrey began to really dom- While the rest of University was helping to 40 mins rowing in to a headwind, the two permission to play at the who calmly lobbed the ball, inate and when Delvin head- move the Freshers in, last Sunday the Boat crossed the finishing line sporting huge blis- Varsity Centre, following Beckham-esque, over the ed home a dream debut goal Club were completing another Surrey first. ters and sore limbs. Most of all Istvan found concerns on both sides stranded netminder. This the floodgates began to The Captain - Steve Poole at bow and Istvan out that it’s just so unnatural to be seated on regarding the degree of was followed by a horrific open. With two goals from Hajdu at stroke were competing in the a rowing seat for such a long period of time. pitch over use, and still period of pressure from the Ratikainen and one from Lincoln to Boston (not Massachusetts) unresolved discussions opposition which saw the Wilson completing the scor- Rowing Marathon in a Double Scull(2x). The two were overcome at the end by their regarding the funding of Surrey defence in real tur- ing an impressive 6-2 victo- This is the longest inland rowing race in the sense of achievement and Steve has vowed Graduate sport, the team moil, culminating in a terri- ry was completed. Sparky UK. Having driven up on the Saturday, the never to let a certain mad Hungarian from were eager to show that at ble mix up between Captain, Dillnot looked eager to two were ready and prepared for what was Budapest study the rowing calendar again. least in football terms we Paul Cliff, and winger Neil prove something when he to come having munched their way through The two returned to Guildford in the early were deserved of our status. Wilson. Each leaving the came on for Kinsey with 15 a steaming hot lasagne in Lincoln that hours of Monday morning exhausted but ball to the other, the ball was minutes to go and the GI evening. satisfied in the knowledge they achieved The game began in a flurry picked up and crossed for Res ran out the game com- something that will remain with them forev- of hard challenges and con- their striker to crash home fortably to claim the three It all started on Sunday leaving Lincoln with er. So they’ve been there, done that, got the stant changes of possession from eight yards. At 2-1 this points. some stunning views of Lincoln Minster, T-shirt, but still waiting for the certificate ! as both sides battled to was the real test of character but due to the fact they were carrying water The club will be competing in more events stamp their authority in the for a side who had never The team would like to due bottles and munchies for the journey ahead, this semester where they will be able to drizzling rain. A fine crowd previously played or trained respect to the Club for their it was hard going. After 9 miles the crew carry on being part of the pride of Surrey of student and graduate sup- as a complete unit. The true continued support of the GI had to get out and walk the boat over the Sport. port lifted Surrey through a Surrey spirit shone through team structure and their bank in order to avoid a lock. By this time period of early pressure as and within minutes we were recognition of the valuable the scenery was looking very flat and the If you’re interested in joining the Boat Club, the back four struggled to level again as a fine cross contribution of the only things they saw were people fishing on we are always keen for new members, both settle into the rhythm of was met by Babbsy, who Graduates and the commit- the riverbank. It was only the sheer deter- beginners and those with experience. The their new team mates. As beautifully guided the ball ment of Industrial year and mination to finish and camaraderie between club got a silver (Mens Novice 1x) and a the University midfield into the Cranleigh net. post-graduate students the two that kept them going. finalists spot (Mens Elite 2x) at the BUSA began to win the loose balls, involved in the team. Many Championships as well as success at local chances were soon created With the half-time score at thanks to the Varsity Centre With 9 miles to go, the going got tough as regattas last year (Womens Novice 1x) and for Nick ‘Prettyboy’ 2-2, the team talk served staff and groundsmen for all Steve could see when he looked for fea- with your help we can achieve again this Semmens and Fat-head only to reiterate what we all their understanding, flexi- tures on the landscape was a straight river. year. Contact the club captain Steve Poole Babbs up front. Excellent expected before the kick- bility and continued support Luckily, this was when Istvan’s sense of on email ms73sp, look on the sports notice- wingplay from Bins Kinsey off. If we remained tight at of USFC. humour kicked in with his meaningless board or put your name and contact number and Keggy Wilson threat- the back, our superior fit- Stiffy chants. in the Union pigeon hole under “Boat”. ened to undermine the rigid ness would eventually run Thousands of bananas later, the two finally line of Cranleigh’s back the Cranleigh side out of the came in sight of the finish. In a time of 5hrs four, before an opportunistic game. The second half went ed981001.qxd 04/11/98 21:24 Page 12 (1,1)

Surrey Pride Mountaineers Go Splat! Make ID Sport Part of the Pride 400m mountain climbs that Welcome to all you fresher types, bods literally all abilities. Free, with your took you through cooling studying their first year “again”, and all Combined card available at Campusports, waterfalls. There was also general students too lazy to have played the Sports ranging from mixed netball, 5- “proper mountaineering” to sport yet! Life is too short to worry about aside football to pop-lacrosse, runs each be done with the 4000m+ lectures the whole time. Indeed, here at and every lunch time with some early Les Ecrin overlooking all. Surrey we believe there is more to life than evening fixtures, all either situated on Days and nights were spent purely education. Joining a club or Society campus in the sports centre or at the on the glaciers with activi- is an excellent way to learn about life in Varsity Centre. The competition has con- ties involving climbing the day time and also at night!! (so I’m tinuously improved over the past few years Dome de Neige Des Ecrins, told, being the pure and innocent type!) with this year its importance being recog- bum sliding and “playing in nised in departmental infrastructure by some crevasses”. Whether you choose Footy or Fencing, having prizes from external companies On the whole the weather Sub Aqua or Skiing - it is the key to feel- awarded to individual ID sports. was great and a truly fantas- ing good, meeting people and above all, tic time was had by all. On having fun. All clubs cater for those who To participate in ID sport, all you need to the way back home we want to play/participate in recreational do is find (or be found) by your depart- stopped off in sport or activities, non-competitive and mental sports rep (or quickly elect one!) Fontainebleau, just below competitive sport. Varying needs can who will attend an afternoon briefing ses- Paris to do some of the always be met - so if you are a beginner or sion on Friday the 2nd of October and have famous bouldering in the Even before the semester had finished the famous sport bod, I’m sure we can find a charming photo taken and placed in your forest which I found to be a truly magical mountaineering clubs summer plans where something for you to do here at Surrey. departments for easier recognition. He or place. well under way; however vague they may she will then be able to enter your depart- The remains of the summer’s weekends be. First up was “The Three Peaks At the Campusports Centre, the green cov- mental teams into the competition. There where spent climbing at various locations Challenge”, this involved running/walking ered building near the Unis main entrance, are awards and prizes available for Most throughout the UK. up Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowdon all a wide range of classes and courses take Improved Society/Dept, Biggest in 24 hours including the travelling time in place, from Philipa’s Funky Aerobics to Participating Dept, Best Sports Rep and Now we are only four weeks into the semes- between each, raising money for the charity yoga. And for all those couch potatoes oodles of other achievements! ter and we have already had trips to the Peak Mountain Rescue. After much sweat and a amongst us - you can help make the Sports district, Wales and had many socials. BUT mention on Radio One we did it, all in 23hr clubs actual CLUBs, by strolling on over Surrey Sport - Be part of the pride, is our YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHING YET! Cos 40mins, finishing just in time for a fried to our Varsity Centre and supporting our motto for all sports. It is seen as a great as soon as you first years join in, things will breakfast. competitive sports clubs. There’s our very way of actually getting to know your fel- get bigger and better. So come along to the own Varsity Centre bar with a view over low colleagues, no matter if they are back Beginners’ Course at Campusport’s excel- Next on the agenda was “SPLAT” the annu- the1st Hockey, Football and Rugby pitch- seat boyz or students who’ll actually see lent Climbing wall, on Wednesdays 3-5pm al three week climbing trip abroad. The es. So if it is blowing a force 9 gale out- out their first year! Participating in sport at or Tuesdays 8-10pm, it will cost you destination this year was to a little town side, you can sit in the comfort of the bar any level is fun and in itself rewarding. So absolutely nothing. called Ailefroide in the French Alps, where and watch your nutty mates scuttle around what have you got to lose, kick your Sports there is nothing to do but climb (and watch the pitch all afternoon. Rep up the butt if he or she isn’t providing For more details e-mail Dan on HYPER- the world cup on a local bars TV, have huge the info or call Sally Edie at Campusports LINK mailto:[email protected] water fights etc.). The climbing took many Interdepartmental sport (ID) is a program on 9891 or MOI, Alex (Sporty Sab) on [email protected]. forms, from one pitch cragging through to of sports open to all students and staff of 9981 (25 9981 from external lines. The Ups and Downs of Sport by Paul Cliff, Sports Editor What a weekend! A festival of sport was Record breaking attempt for spouting the the Sports Massage Therapist at Canio as being unrepentant and alleged to anticipated and lo and behold, duly deliv- greatest amount of bollox ever previously Campusport, is currently employed by suggest that, “...I pushed the ref in the stom- ered. The Freshers Sports Fayre saw lion- witnessed (Tore Andre Flo, the second best McLaren-Mercedes as Hakkinen’s Personal ach and he stumbled three or four steps taming mayhem and a bevvy of free t-shirt striker on the planet??). Hats off to THE Trainer, and could be frequently spotted on backwards before falling over like someone fueled Carlsberg Export consumption as the man of the moment. ITV’s coverage last Sunday afternoon. diving to win a penalty.” Surely such an glorious September sun beamed down on Come on Mika, win it for the Surrey Pride. accusation, blended with a blatant admis- Fortress Varsity. Freshers (would you prefer Elsewhere in the wondrous World of Sport, sion of the events (not that the TV pictures newcomers?) spilled forth in their droves to two British triumphed in their In the US, the race for the season home run require too much further evidence) seals the flirt with a variety of sporting commitment, weekend bouts as went to a leader continued as Mark McGwire hit two temperamental Italians fate in the English whilst the old and wise dressed up their shop points victory over Croatian Zeljko more to move four ahead of Chicago Cubs game. A piece in Mondays Times newspa- windows with promises of all-night post- Mavrovic in Uncasville, Connecticut, and player, Sammy Sosa, with 377 and 370 yard per, quotes former FIFA and FA Carling match drinking sessions, beer stained tro- Herbie Hide dispatched Willi Fischer, the homers as the Cards beat the Montreal Premiership referee, Martin Bodenham, as phies and exotic sports tours to destination German challenger, after a third knockdown Expos 6-3. Closer to home, a staggering per- stating that referee’s of all standards are al shad. Some of the more sedate Clubs were in the second round. WBC champion Lewis’ formance from Tim Henman signalled a becoming increasingly worried over this reported to be offering confectionery bribes victory sees him move one step closer to a new dawn for the future of British Davis type of behaviour. “There have been many to tempt the swarming masses. unification bout with Evander Holyfield but Cup tennis as GB beat India 3-2 in examples of players continuing to dispute Demonstrations of karate, abseiling, doubts still exist over his credentials, after . Britain now qualify for the 16 sendings off and appear to have to have their American football, aerobics (don’t forget this professional, but wholly unimpressive, nation Davis Cup world group next year, but say first...You wonder if it’s going to start the grapevine!), rugby, football, hockey, net- victory. Quotes from the Lewis camp after face a tough draw as an unseeded side, with happening on the local parks”. Food for ball, not to mention the dodgy stage crew the bout claimed that it is difficult for a only three of the names in the hat gauran- thought perhaps for the University of Surrey microphone all served to to distract the dis- champion to be at his best against a little teeing a home draw. Club Chairman, Dan Taylor, who after giv- cerning consumer from their competitors. known of Mavrovic’s quality, ing away a penalty on Saturday, was sent off Inter-club spirit seems greatly improved but I would argue that a true champion The news of the weekend, however, has to for a second bookable offense after he con- with minimal exchange of banter between should be able to motivate himself for any be the unforgivable antics of Paulo Di Canio tinued to dispute the penalty decision with footie and rugger and even a mutual recruit- fight. Especially true in the heavyweight on Saturday as he was sent off in Sheffield the referee. No matter how incorrect a play- ment of players (thankyou Boy Davis!). In division where, regardless of ability, Wednesday’s home fixture with Arsenal last er believes a referee’s decision to be, any short things, looked pretty rosey for the any lucky punch can conceivably cause an Saturday. Following a scuffle between level of dissent, from a call of “rubbish”, coming season of Surrey Sport. upset. Arsenal’s Patrick Viera and Wednesday’s through foul and abusive language, to actu- Wim Jonk, both DiCanio and Arsenal’s ally physically assaulting an official, can not This is a fine place (especially in the The penultimate stage of the Formula One Martin Keown rushed to join the fracas and be tolerated in the Premiership or the local chronological sense!) to mention the championship ended in Mika Hakkinen’s engaged in a melee of kicking and elbowing recreation ground. I’m sure, from our disci- exploits of one James Leigh on Friday after- 7th victory of the season at the Luxembourg each other. Referee, Paul Alcock, quite plinary committee meeting at the Varsity on noon. Perched like an elderly sun-parched Grand Prix in Germany on Sunday, leaving rightly, decided to send the pair off, but hav- Monday night that Dan has learned his les- buzzard on the football stand, the trouble him four points clear of Michael ing shown the red card to Di Canio, was son from this uncharacteristic display, but an began at approximately 10 secs to eleven o’ Schumacher with one race to go. Should caught off gaurd by a two-handed shove in example must be made to the new faces clock when he crowed in that soothing Hakkinen clinch the victory at Suzuka, the chest and tumbled dramatically (more a within the club. Anyway, that is my tirade Lancashire bark of his, “Zammow, get Japan, on November 1st, sharing his cele- vain attempt to regain his balance than any for the week, read on and enjoy. t’f*#kin’ bar!” Something in the region of 6 brations will be an ex-member of the uni- act of theatre) to the ground. Newspaper DO IT FOR SPORT, DO IT FOR THE or 7 hours later he embarked on a World versity staff. Mark Arnell, who used to be reports following the incedent quote Di SURREY PRIDE