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Fulldissertation-Shireen Final Musical Bridges––Crossing the Divide of Where Fear Meets Music: How Autoethnography Contributes to an Evolving Cultural Identity Through Multiple Musical Worlds by Shireen Abu-Khader A thesis submitted in conformity with the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Faculty of Music University of Toronto © Copyright by Shireen Abu-Khader 2019 Musical Bridges––Crossing the Divide of Where Fear Meets Music: How Autoethnography Contributes to an Evolving Cultural Identity Through Multiple Musical Worlds Shireen Abu-Khader Doctor of Philosophy Faculty of Music University of Toronto 2019 Abstract This research explores the presence of rich, multi-layered political, socio-economic Levantine identities within three musical narratives which challenge and inform views about the relationship between politics and music. The dissertation draws on auto-ethnography and narrative research as a pedagogy for cultivating empathy, courage, and social justice in music education settings. The purpose of the study is to explore the function of music in diverse socio- political global contexts as a means of understanding ourselves in local contexts. Additionally, the stories demonstrate how music has played a role in reconciling multiple identities and connecting people of disparate backgrounds and experiences, and how music has played a role in disconnecting people (including myself) through the socio-political forces that at times may have been too strong. Through narrative analysis, personal reflection, and musical inquiry of three ii stories, I investigate the standard narratives of the positive role of music, the political acts of forming solidarity and moments of resistance in musical contexts, and the political interactions in a Canadian context that question music’s capacity for inclusivity within a pluralist society. This study joins a vibrant conversation in music education about the inextricable link between politics and music, as well as discussions about the need to develop empathy and courage in presenting, performing, and educating in, through and about music from diverse cultural contexts. I argue that music is political and can be difficult to negotiate in the rehearsal room, but that difficult elements such as empathy and courage can bring people together and change the narrative. Empathizing by acknowledging the humanity of others raised to think differently, as well as courage to overcome fear, can stir to action, embracing true inclusivity in a Canadian context. iii Acknowledgments As I ventured into writing my thesis, it felt that I was walking on a path that saw no end, but there were many people that have been integral to my journey. The truth of the matter is that I would not have seen the finish line had it not been for all the support and love I received along the way. Each one played an important yet different role in working through my insecurities, struggles, exhaustions, excitement, and joy in my writing journey. Thank you! I have to start by thanking my doctoral committee headed by my advisor, Dr. Lori Dolloff. Dr. Dolloff had deep insight that unveiled slowly, timely, intuitively, and accurately. Her knowledge and love for narrative research was contagious, and her guidance was essential to the development of the thesis. I have been immensely touched by her presence and unconditional love throughout this process. Dr. Nasim Niknafs and Dr. Elizabeth Gould gave continuous encouragement, constructive criticism, and support in asking important questions that allowed me to look at the writing in a more objective way. I believe it contributed to making the writing stronger. Dr. Deborah Bradley, who was amazingly efficient, professional, thorough, and caring in editing this dissertation: the stories read more strongly and effectively because of her amazing work! My friend and colleague, Hussein Janmohamed, who continuously challenged and questioned my Levantine presence in the thesis. He relentlessly asked thought-provoking questions, what Arabic words meant, their roots and their meanings, and how all of those would shape and give a strong Levantine voice to the thesis. He posed difficult questions that helped in facilitating my thoughts and feelings on paper, particularly when I felt stuck in the writing. Dr. Yaser Yacoob, my friend and colleague who was particularly present in the last few months of my writing: his daily phone calls, support, deep perspective and conversations helped in keeping the momentum and excitement moving. His help in framing my thoughts eased the process of writing and in that ease, the discovery of writing difficult chapters was joyful and exciting. Iman Annab was gracious in sharing her paper on decolonizing the self; her passion for Palestine seeped through in voicing my Palestinian identity. Judeh Majaj, my friend and colleague in Amman, was relentless about helping me identify scholars from the Levant and offered his insightful thoughts on identity in the region. Dozan wa Awtar choir members shared their active participation in discussing thoughts and feelings stemming out of singing. iv My family: mother and father, Nicola and Bella, encouraged me every step of the way; my mother’s persistence and continuous encouragement, especially when I felt like I could not complete my thesis. My brother and sister gave continuous support and humor provided lightness when things felt heavy. A special thank you goes to the rock of our family; my father, who shared his story with open arms, showed courage, and insisted that the story be told. Last but not least, my biggest thank you goes to my husband, Roger, and my beautiful daughters Samia and Naya, without whom I would not have been able to complete this work. His support, love and ultimate compassion held our family together when things got crazy! Thank you for your unconditional love and for never letting me quit. To both of my daughters, who understood how important this work was, thank you for the endless hugs and kisses throughout my long hours on the computer; “yes, Samia! I’ve got this!” v Table of Contents Acknowledgments .......................................................................................................................... iv Table of Contents ........................................................................................................................... vi List of Plates ................................................................................................................................. xii List of Figures .............................................................................................................................. xiii List of Appendices ....................................................................................................................... xiv Chapter 1 Musical Bridges––Crossing the Divide of Where Fear Meets Music: How Autoethnography Contributes to an Evolving Cultural Identity Through Multiple Musical Worlds ........................................................................................................................................ 1 1.1 Introduction ......................................................................................................................... 1 1.2 Background of the study ..................................................................................................... 2 1.3 Post-colonialism and the Levant ......................................................................................... 4 1.4 Purpose of the study ............................................................................................................ 5 1.5 Why autoethnography? ....................................................................................................... 7 1.6 The stories ........................................................................................................................... 9 1.6.1 “When Silent Night was No Longer the Narrative” ............................................... 9 1.6.2 “Winning Gold” .................................................................................................... 10 1.6.3 “Reclaiming Silence” ............................................................................................ 10 1.7 Research questions ............................................................................................................ 10 1.8 Locating the Stories .......................................................................................................... 10 1.9 Limitations of the study .................................................................................................... 12 1.9.1 Access to Information ........................................................................................... 12 1.9.2 Identity research .................................................................................................... 13 1.9.3 Fear seeping into the writing ................................................................................. 13 1.10 Outline of the thesis .......................................................................................................... 13 Chapter 2 Geopolitical Context .................................................................................................... 15 vi 2.1 Geopolitical context .......................................................................................................... 15 2.1.1 The last thousand years ...........................................................................................
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