San Francisco Herald street. He went home and when he something tells me that having him as a awoke he couldn’t move. He couldn’t father wasn’t a picnic either. August 2019 move for four days – just stuck there in bed. He’s had to use a wheelchair ever The actor who starred in swashbuckling SanFranciscoHerald.Net since. I told him that his bicycle’s rubber movies like “Captain Blood” and “Robin tires should have protected him from the Hood” was a hard drinking womanizer “Serving Nob Hill and Beyond” electricity. He said they would have if he who was often in the news due to various scandals. XXXXXXXXXX hadn’t gotten off the bicycle and taken photos of the lightning and electricity for One of Errol’s offspring was Sean Flynn, 20 minutes. The Society Page the only child he had with his first wife, But he seems to be making the best of it. French-American actress Lili Damita. By Gene Mahoney He’s kind of the unofficial mayor there – Lili raised Sean alone, as Errol and her separated when Sean was young. Russian Hill Upholstery & Décor is still he knows everyone, and his artwork is hanging up at some restaurants. located in Nob Hill, not Russian Hill. Sean studied at Duke University, tried his hand at singing, then starred in a few XXXXXXXXXX And he’s a lot happier there than he is in the Palo Alto of today. spaghetti westerns in Italy and Spain. Deep Purple at The Warfield, September Acting bored him, so he went to Africa 8. Like, wow, man. Heavy. Intense. XXXXXXXXXX and worked as a safari guide, a big game Crucial. Lemmy lives! Hot Fuckin’ hunter, and a game warden. In 1966 I recently read a book published in 1997 Tuna! Flynn went to South Vietnam to work as titled “The Life and Death of Peter a high risk photojournalist. He was XXXXXXXXXX Sellers” by Roger Lewis. And I wounded in the knee, made a parachute envisioned this issue’s column being a jump with the 101st Airborne Division, I spent some time on the San Mateo review of it, exploring his roles as the and once helped the Green Berets fight coast recently, and let me tell you, I was bumbling French detective Inspector when they were ambushed by the Viet impressed. It’s more like the California I Clouseau in “The Pink Panther” series to Cong. moved to in 1985 than where I live now the complete idiot turned powerful – in Silicon Valley. And it’s more like politician in “Being There.” But the man On April 6, 1970 – less than 2 months the old California that I loved than who brought so much joy to the people before his 29th birthday – Sean Flynn modern day San Francisco, too. (No tech who watched his movies brought so motorcycled to Saigon to attend a press nerds.) much pain to the people he knew in real conference. He went with Dana Stone, life, so let’s skip it. (Lewis, his another high risk photojournalist. Both I was walking around downtown Half biographer, refers to him as “a shameful were never seen or heard from again. Moon Bay when some guy called my human being.”) Their bodies were never found. They had name. I didn’t recognize him, so he been captured by the Viet Cong. explained how he was this guy I knew What’s that? None of us are perfect, from all those years of hanging out in we’ve all done things we regret, so why Flynn’s mother exhausted her finances in downtown Palo Alto (he must have single him out? Yes, none of us are a futile attempt to find her son. In 1984 worked at almost every restaurant there). perfect, but most of us aren’t sociopaths, she had him declared legally dead. She I didn’t recognize him because he had and reading this book, you often got the died in 1994. aged greatly and was in a wheelchair. He impression that’s what Sellers was. I was said that was because of a thunder and a big fan of his. I wish I hadn’t read it. In 2015 archives from her estate went up lightning storm a while back. Apparently for auction, including letters he sent her he was riding his bicycle in downtown XXXXXXXXXX and a “Whatever Happened to Sean HMB one night when the storm started. Flynn” bumper sticker. I don’t know if Errol Flynn inflicted the A bolt of lightning hit a utility pole, same kind of mental cruelty on his kids So that’s what the song “Sean Flynn” by causing electrical wires to fall onto the that Peter Sellers inflicted on his, but The Clash is about. XXXXXXXXXX Anyway, this month marks the 37th taking place at the Marina. Never found anniversary of the film. If you want to it, but found a lot of other weird and read more about it, go to bizarre shit on that trip. SanFranciscoHerald.Net and find “Remembering Liquid Sky” by Zora As I rode on the BART train I thumbed Burden in the Fall 2014 issue. through the latest issue of the SF WEEKLY. There was an article about Herald Archives: 2010 McCartney’s guitarist, this 53 year old guy (the exact same age as me). In the Ace Backwords Goes to a Paul back of the paper was an ad for Desiree McCartney Concert Foxx who was appearing live at the Mitchell Bros Theatre with an all nude By Ace Backwords revue. I momentarily reconsidered my entertainment options for the day, mulling over the comparative merits of For months I’ve been debating whether seeing a 68 year old bass player from to go to the Paul McCartney concert in Liverpool or a bunch of naked 20 year Remember the beautiful ‘80s pop singer San Francisco. In a way it would make old chicks cavorting on stage. But I Stacey Q? She became a Buddhist and the perfect epilogue to my Acid Heroes figured this was a once-in-a-lifetime dropped out of the limelight. (Good for book which basically starts in 1964 when chance to see a Beatle, and I’d probably her). I heard the Beatles singing “She Loves get another chance in this lifetime to see You” for the first time on my transistor a naked woman (at least I’m hoping). So A couple of years before her Madonna- radio at age 7. esque hit, “Two of Hearts,” I had heard I soldiered onwards. her on WLIR, the “New Wave” station in But by the time the day of the show The plan was to just hang around outside New York (well, Long Island). Her band came around it was too late to get the stadium and listen to whatever music was called SSQ, and they sounded like an tickets. 103.7 The Band (the “classic wafted outside. Or maybe I could talk my updated version of Ellie Greenwich or rock” station) was playing their Saturday way inside. I had my trusty Ace the Ronettes. I liked their song, morning Beatles show from 7 to 9, only Backwords press pass from 1992 which “Playback.” The shorter version is better they were playing all McCartney songs to entitled me to backstage access, VIP – punchier. The longer version has a get people in the mood for the concert. treatment, and free buffet privileges, video with a real early '80s New York feel Played a lot of great live stuff, among other things. So perhaps I could to it. The video of the shorter version McCartney doing “Paperback Writer” and dazzle the guy at the door with my just has a picture of the band dressed in “Day Tripper” and a great version of “I credentials, tell him I was working on an Devo-type outfits as the song plays. Got a Feeling,” which reminded me how exclusive McCartney piece for the great even the Beatles minor songs were, Berkeley Barb. He’d no doubt steer me Actually, this video of the longer version Paul singing along with another guy to four burly security guards who has scenes from the movie Liquid Sky. singing the Lennon part (“Everybody had perhaps I could intimidate with veiled That movie was released around the a wet dream, everybody let their hair threats of writing a scathingly critical same time “Playback” came out. Ever down . . .”). Even with the millions of review of McCartney’s live show for a seen it? It's about... I forgot. I think it's Beatles cover bands, Paul still does the prestigious local newspaper. Or, barring about a UFO that lands on the Empire best Beatle covers, which is a weird kind that, a scathingly critical blog on my State Building. And aliens make it so that of compliment I guess. Anyways, by the MySpace page. So that stratagem seemed every time people have an orgasm they time the radio show was over I kinda’ unpromising. But I was up for anything. I disappear into thin air. I remember felt like I had already experienced Paul’s had a fresh pack of smokes and a 24 telling the plot to a boss I had years ago live show, so actually seeing it would ounce can of Old English malt liquor in and she said, “I guess only men were probably be redundant. Plus I was my pack. So I was ready for action. disappearing.” (Must have been pre- nervous about the whole idea. I’m Anita Hill office banter). claustrophobic and hadn’t been to one of But first I had to find the stadium. I had those big stadium shows in more than 30 The film had a lot of heroin use in it, a vague idea where it was located — I years when I saw the Grateful Dead and too. I think there was an actress in it knew it was by the water because I used the Who at the Day on the Green at the who played both a man and a woman – 2 to read accounts of Barry Bonds hitting Oakland Coliseum. different characters. There's a scene home runs out of AT&T Park and into the San Francisco Bay. So I figured if I just where the man receives fellatio from the But I was curious to get a look at Beatle followed the waterfront I would woman. (A versatile performer.) fans, who I had heard a lot about but had eventually find it so long as I was headed never seen en masse. What kind of Some critics voted Liquid Sky the worst south, which gave me a 50-50 chance person goes to a Paul McCartney concert movie ever made. It's kind of a punk which was about the best odds I could after all? So I hopped on the BART train, version of Plan 9 from Outer Space, hope for these days. I passed two cute feeling this weird sense of déjà vu. The which most critics think is the worst young chicks who were talking about the last time I had gone over to the city to movie ever made. AT&T Park, so I asked them if they were see a Beatle was in 1980 on the day going to the McCartney show, which they Lennon was shot. I took some acid and were. “Maybe I’ll see you cool cats at went looking for a rumored memorial the show,” I said. So things were looking For some reason I felt my key role in the give McCartney credit for: show biz ham up. proceedings was to add a much needed that he is, you knew he was doing note of degeneracy to the proceedings. I everything humanly possible to give the I ran into a black guy as I was walking asked one of the women working the fans their money’s worth and put on one down Mission Street and asked him if he door if I could get in with my backpack. hell of a rock show. Which I, sadly, was knew how far a walk it was to the She said: “Yes, but no cans or bottles or not going to see. I tried to rationalize stadium. “It’s about a mile walk,” he alcohol.” So now I needed to find a the situation to take the sting out of the said. “You looking for tickets? I got secluded place to quickly pound my can sad turn of events that my evening had tickets for you.” He pulled out two of beer and urinate — no easy task taken. Well, at least that guy won’t tickets with $99 price on them. “I’ll sell surrounded by 40,000 McCartneymaniacs. enjoy that 60 bucks, he’ll choke on it, I them to you for face value,” he said. But I quickly succeeded in finding a back thought. His bad karma will come back alley to do my thing. Thus fortified, I at him. But then it occurred to me that “That’s a little too rich for my blood,” I marched back to the stadium and took my bad karma had come back at me. So said. “I’m going to try and bullshit my my place on line with the throngs. When there was little solace in that gambit. way in.” I got to the front door the woman ticket- Perhaps a major earthquake will hit San taker examined my ticket for some time Francisco causing the stadium to “How much you got? I’ll give ‘em to you with some kind of computer scanner. collapse, crushing all 40,000 McCartney for 50 bucks.” “The ticket don’t scan,” she said. “Stand fans. Maybe this will turn out to be a It occurred to me at this point that my over there for a minute.” A second guy blessing in disguise. And I felt a bullshit hadn’t been working too well scanned my ticket with the same momentary sense of optimism. Or maybe lately, and I remembered I had 60 bucks negative results. I could see the chosen McCartney will choke on a tofu sandwich in my back pocket from taking in my ones inside the stadium milling around, half way through singing “Silly Love recycled cans-and-bottles the previous and here I was right on the verge of Songs” and hack and gag his way through day. So I gave him the 60 and stashed success, but now this. “You’re going to the rest of the concert, causing 40,000 the precious ticket in my pocket. “Keep have to go out to the box office to the disgruntled fans to storm out of the the change,” I said (I’m a big tipper ‘Ticket Issues’ window,” he said. stadium demanding refunds. So I was a after all). force for pure evil at this point. (P.S. If There were quite a few people waiting anyone went to the show and gave it a “Enjoy the show,” he said. on line there with anxious looks on their really bad review, feel free to send me a faces. When I got to the window, I copy.) By this time I noticed a swarm of obvious smiled broadly to the guy behind the Beatle fans herding along in the general window, and said: “With a little luck For a moment I blamed Yoko Ono for the direction of the stadium. So I was part of hopefully this ticket is good,” hoping my whole thing. But I couldn’t come up with the whole circus now, and quite pleased inside knowledge of McCartney lyrics any logical, rational explanation to back at how I had pulled off the ticket deal. I might somehow sway in my favor up that contention. So I dropped that looked up and there was a billboard whatever decision was coming down. He idea. It was nighttime now, so I went to photo of Tim Lincecum, the San scanned my ticket and gave me the bad People’s Park and hung out with a bunch Francisco Giants pothead Cy Young news. Counterfeit. “I have to keep the of street people. This crazy street chick winner. So just like that I was home. ticket,” he said, “but I can make you a with a radio lurched at me and asked for Huge crowds of McCartney fans were Xerox,” which he did. A rather expensive a hit of my beer. Of course the song that excitedly swarming all around the memento which I’ll probably cherish for came on the radio at that exact moment building. A street musician was bleating not a long time. In the space of one was that song by Beck - “I’m a loser baby out a tepid version of “Something” on his second I went from this hip, street-smart so why don’t you kill me.” So my life had trumpet. And a small band of Christians dude, to a total fucking idiot. You could a soundtrack (sometimes the gods really with megaphones were haranguing the probably hear the air leaking out of my rub it in, don’t they?). Beatle fans with threats of eternal tires. damnation. Ah, what the hell. I can still catch Ringo I wearily trudged off in the other when he comes to town in a couple I sat down, leaned against the side of the direction, in my usual role of going months.### stadium, and smoked a cigarette to against the grain of humanity as I fought The San Francisco Herald is published monthly orient myself just as a big black stretch my way around the thousands of by Gene Mahoney. All contents ©2019 by limo pulled up to the curb. For just a McCartney fans that were flooding Gene Mahoney (except work not done by Mr. towards the stadium. For a moment I second I imagined Paul and Linda Mahoney). The characters and situations in McCartney getting out of the limo and considered tracking down the guy who Good Clean Fun comics are fictitious; any romping into the stadium “Hard Day’s had sold me the ticket and killing him. similarity to persons living, dead, or in hiding Night” style as they’re chased by mobs But I was too tired at this point for direct is purely coincidental. Though well-known of screaming Beatlemaniacs. But it was action. people and places appear it’s a work of just a nondescript middle-aged couple fiction and the usual rules apply. None of these events ever took place. Herald logo by and their daughter, no doubt having the As I sat on BART on the ride back to James Dylan. Ads do not appear in online time of their life. The crowd of Berkeley I pondered what kind of human edition. Contact: Gene Mahoney, P.O. McCartney fans were about 99% white specimen could so casually take my Box 843, Redwood City, California 94064 and mostly middle-aged, clean-cut, with money, give me nothing in return, and ruin my evening. One thing you gotta the look of money and success to them. Herald Archives: 2000 There's "Summertime", "Suddenly Last So tonight I’ll pick up anything that hails Summer", "Summertime Rolls", "Summer me. I have no choice. Summer By Howard Hallis Nights" (from "Grease"), "The Boys of Summer", "Summer's Almost Gone", "The DRUNK WOMAN: TAKE ME TO WIZARDS. Last Rose of Summer", "The Summer of When most people think about the ME: WHERE’S THAT? summer season, certain images come to Love", ad nauseum. Even movie titles were no help. It was as if every time I mind: The beach, the sun, vacations, and D.W.: WIZARDS… BY CIVIC CENTER. backyard barbecues. Not me. Nope. To turned on the TV, "Endless Summer", me, the very word "summer" conveys an "Summer School" or "The Long Hot ME: YOU WANT “WICKED”, AT THE entirely different kind of image. It makes Summer" were on, each film featuring ORPHEUM THEATRE? me remember the girl who ripped out my blond girls kissing guys who seemed to heart, ate it, spit it out and stomped on resemble my keyboard player. The curse D.W.: YES. it... laughing. Let this be a lesson to all of Summer took years to get over. Years. the guys out there: NEVER fall in love OK, I'm not really over it even now. ME: OK…DID YOU TRY TO HAIL A PIZZA with a girl named Summer. Pathetic, right? Well, if my situation can DELIVERY VEHICLE…..THINKING IT WAS A serve as a warning to others, then my TAXI? I met Summer on a blind date set up by a suffering would not be in vain. BEWARE friend of mine back in 1994. He saw I OF PEOPLE WITH OMNIPREVASIVE NAMES D.W.: YES. CAN YOU TAKE ME TO was kind of down as far as the dating AND NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE WICKED? situation was concerned and knew this NAMED AFTER A SEASON! ME: YEAH, NO PROBLEM…BUT I DON’T girl liked me. We went out and instantly HAVE ANY PIZZA. hit it off. After the first kiss, I knew I Have a great Summer.### was in love. I had never felt so intensely Herald Archives: 2010 Silence. Passengers never get my jokes about anyone in my entire life. She was and I’ve told some real corkers…right off perfect... funny, smart, beautiful, very Wicked By Lee Vilensky the top of my head. My favorite is the social and super confident. She had time a woman got into my cab and said, blond hair (which is almost a “Sir Francis Drake.” I replied, “Umm ya Thursday night just after New Year’s prerequisite for anyone named Summer), know what… just call me Frank”. She Eve, 2009-2010, and the town is dead. emerald eyes and skin that tasted like didn’t think it was funny. The guys back Always is this time of year, but I never cocoa butter. Saying I was blinded by at the cab yard didn’t think it was funny plan for it. I still need to eat and pay love would have been an either. I thought it was the best thing rent in January and February. I’m understatement. It was more like love that ever came out of my mouth. had come along and replaced my eyes constant and reliable, unlike the and brain with that red goo found in economy. Cruising the yuppie bars in the D.W.: I WAS MARRIED ONCE BUT MY Stretch Armstrong toys. Marina, I see a woman trying to hail a HUSBAND CHEATED ON ME. pizza delivery vehicle. She is drunk and One warning sign came on our first date. thinks it’s a taxi, even though it’s an ME: mmmm. I told her that the only thing that was early ‘90’s Japanese made 2 door with a really important to me in a relationship large, brightly lit pizza sign on top. She D.W.: DO YOU LIKE COLLEGE was total honesty. She said: "Well, to be approaches the vehicle at a red light and BASKETBALL? totally honest with you, sometimes I tries to open the door. The driver is don't always tell the truth." Damn! That terrified and waves her towards me. ME: NOT MUCH. was the most honest thing anyone had Another way to interpret this is to say ever said to me, and I knew I was in that my job terrifies him. I pull over and D.W.: WELL HE SURE DID. trouble. She inevitably grew bored with she gets in my cab backwards, that is to ME: WHO? my doting on her and left me for the say her face is in the backrest and her keyboard player in my old band. I was large drunk ass is facing the front of the D.W.: MY EX-HUSBAND! devastated, but the worst was yet to cab. I’m 51 years old and have had a few come. Ever try to put someone out of cocktails in my day but have never I drive to the theatre, about 2 miles, and your mind when relationships come to an entered a car in this manner, so it’s hard pull up on the Grove Street side of the end by taking a drive? Well, that's what I for me to understand why someone building. The woman pays me and tips did. Driving down the street, everywhere would do this. She tries to turn around me 5 dollars, a very generous gratuity. I looked, I saw her name: END OF but it’s too small a space so she gets She gets out and can barely walk, the SUMMER SALE!, YOU CAN'T BEAT THESE back out and gets in facing forward. I perfect state of mind to enjoy a major SUMMER DEALS!, SUMMER SPECIALS!, rarely pick up people this drunk but Broadway show performed by the “B” COOL OFF FROM THE SUMMER HEAT IN she’s in her late 40’s and probably won’t team cast. The stars are in NY where the OUR AIR-CONDITIONED BAR!, throw up in my cab. That’s a youthful show still sucks…probably. I pull away BUDWEISER: OFFICIAL BEER OF SUMMER! endeavor. Also I need to make some heading downtown on Market Street and It was like the universe was taunting me. money because so far tonight my hourly place a “Best of Slim Harpo” c.d. into I turned on the radio. Do you have any wage is less than my teenage daughter’s. the player. Whoever gets into my cab idea how many songs have the word That’s what economists call an indicator. next is one lucky mother******.### "summer" in them? It's probably second It indicates that I’m a 51 year old loser. only to "love", "baby", and "yeah yeah!".

Herald Archives: 2001 what we could see. First a marching band, then a high school float, then a little kid dressed as the young Elvis. Ahhh, this is The Great Decline of the alright, I thought to myself, reminiscing about when I was a kid growing up in small town USA. Then it got kind of weird. A truck rolled by, but it didn't have any decorations on it. It was a pest Small Town America Parade control truck, I know because the big letters on the side read "Peskin Pest Control.” "Hmmmm, did he wander off the detour By James Dylan and accidently end up in the parade?" I said to Holly (the chickfriend).

Ahh, here is another marching band, with baton twirlers and a terrible sounding band, the way they usually are. Then a big flatbed truck rolled by, with a bunch of people sitting on bales of hay. What could this be? I wondered. Kind of strange for a float. Then I saw a sign that they were employees of a car sales dealership. Okay, now I am getting a bit worried. This is too much like television, you know, a little entertainment with advertising in between. Then the entertainment part got a little scarce. Anyway, I whipped out the ol' camera and snapped a few shots.

The crowd favorite, the "Great Togo's Float.” I'll bet they put a lot of work into those balloons. Everybody was mumbling about this car, I overheard people saying, "What the hell is this?" The guy in the baseball cap walking by looked at it and was laughing and shaking his head. Gee, maybe I will get back some faith in my fellow Americans!

So a couple weeks ago I officially started out on my Summer Festival Tour. First up, the "Petaluma Eggs & Butter Festival" in downtown Petaluma, which included a parade, celebrating good

'ol fashioned, small town Petaluma. My chickfriend is from an Asian country, and is interested in the weird American way-of- Ahh, the great Sunrise Assisted Living Float. Taking a mini-bus life, so I thought I would show her what life was like way back, and painting black splotches on it. Oh, the genius of it all. when small towns had parades and you didn't worry about getting shot by people who don't speak English.

Me and the chickfriend arrived right before the parade started, and she headed for the bathroom, as usual (I think she has a bladder the size of a walnut) and I headed for the food vendors, as usual. First I got a pork shish-kabab, then a BBQ burger, so my hands were really sticky. So what got my attention right away was that right near the food vendors were portable hand- washing stations, with soap and all that. This is a step in the right direction. Remember being a kid on the 4th of July, eating push- And what would a small-town parade be without the fun-loving up pops and cotton candy and ants crawling all over your face gang from Century 21, dressed as houses? and if you happen to pick something up it sticks to your hand John Mellencamp would be proud. Notice the hay bales in the because you are so nasty? back of the pickup, the final touch in the display!

Well, the rest of the parade was pretty much like this, just Anyway, we were wandering around when suddenly the parade assorted pickup trucks and SUVs rolling by with morons waving started! We shoved our way up to the front of the crowd, to see at the crowd. I realized these were "sponsors" of the parade, and they were entitled to have a "float" or "display" in the parade, Taylor and Aunt Bea would be down-right proud of this honest but this was ridiculous. I asked around if anyone else thought this display of small-town American pride and hard-work! was pretty cheesy, and almost everyone had an opinion, most of them saying it was way too commercialized. They also knew One float was sponsored by the Mexican-American Society or these blatant displays of commercialism were part of the sponsor something like that, with some kids dressed up like Native package, but still, we all felt they could have put a little more Americans, which was kind of neat. A little civics lesson, and fun effort into it than just a few balloons and magnetic signs stuck to for the kids, perfect for a parade. But the guy in charge had this the doors of the trucks. Holly was bored by now and had huge speaker on the back, and he had this shrill, tinny Mexican wandered off to go "antiquing" - and I also noticed that many music blaring out of the back, causing everyone within a 2 block other people we had been previously jostling with for a good radius to cringe and cover their ears. I think I also saw a few position had also wandered off, disgusted that Petaluma had store-front windows shatter, too. When we left the main street turned a fine tradition like this into just another crude, boring, to shop around, there was a group of souped-up hot rods coming unmotivated display of commercialism. To be fair, there were around the bend. One would stop and then peel out, stopping some good groups, one was a bunch of guys dressed like WWI before smashing into the car in front of it. I was kind of hoping it soldiers walking around with beer bottles and crutches, I didn't would, but the brakes held. really get what they were going for, but at least it wasn't to sell Needless to say, me and Holly were disappointed in the whole insurance or something like that. thing, especially after driving all the way up there from The City. Then a few more stupid cars and trucks rolled by, promoting We left and headed home. various businesses in the area, and things got quiet, and people started crossing the street and getting up. I assumed that this was the end of the parade. Some older couples were mumbling about getting up early to reserve a good seat, for a parade that lasted 10 minutes. I was also somewhat disappointed, and was walking away when some kid yelled out, "Wait, I think I see something!" We all walked back to the curb and looked down the street like a bunch of desperate, abandoned Muni riders looking for the bus. Sure enough, there was some movement up the street, so we all stood around some more and a few more pickups, sponsoring everything from milk to car-parts rolled by, then another marching band. I guess it wasn't over yet, just a commercial break. From the commercials.

"Kids, look at me! LOOK AT ME, DAMNIT! I'm a clown, not just some loser getting 6 bucks an hour! Why won't you look at me..?...*sob* Look, I am in a pickup truck! It's been waxed just for the parade! Don't you damn kids appreciate the amount of work we did here for you? What do you want, crepe paper and balloons?! Those have no place in a parade!"

Oh no, poor Ronald McDonald, assigned the lowly position of standing in the back of a pickup truck, without even any junk food to throw to the kiddies. And look, his float is so boring, no

balloons or anything, that nobody is paying any attention to him! Wow! My breath was taken away when this beauty rolled by! I I sense a Keane painting coming on, of a sad clown with big was so stunned, I didn't have time to snap a picture! Just think of puppy-dog eyes and a crocodile tear rolling down his face...*sob* the simplicity behind this float, instead of the chicken-wire and Couldn't they have at least given him a larger "McDonalds" (TM) flowers and Papier-mache, just put a banner on the trunk! Sheriff (R) (C) sign?