Interview with Hie editor ol Britain's finest mag
Incorporating juice magazine Guardian/ NUS Student Newspaper of the Year
TICKETS AND TRANSPORT TO TRIBAL GATHERING, FESTIVAL OF THE YEAR! INSIDE JUICI ALERT PREZZA'S COMING HOME OVER PISTOL ATTACK Gun terror yards from home A GUNMAN held up a By JAN HENEK terrified finalist just yards Woodhouse Lane. The student, who does not wish to be from a university campus. named, said: "I thought 1 was going to get shot. The mugger held an automatic The guy appeared from nowhere and shouted, pistol to his victim's ribs, forcing 'Give me all your fucking money,' and had taken the safety-catch off the gun. him to hand over £10 and his "It was definitely a real gun. He must have watch. been watching me getting money out of the And the gunman is still on the loose cash point then followed me back home." RED LETTER DAY: Native Yorkshireman John Prescott wowed the crowds on his visit to despite a police house to house search. The victim's ordeal lasted 10 minutes as the Leeds last week. The Deputy Prime Minister was in top form as he outlined the priorities of He struck in the early evening as the student attacker walked alongside him down St Marks the new Labour Government and fielded questions from students at a public rally was walking home to St Mark's Hats after Election reaction: pages 4-5, 7-9, 12-14, 16-17 Pic: Sarah Davis taking money out of the Natwest cashpoint on Page 2 Column 6 INSIDE: News 1-11, Comment 6-9, Feature 12-14, Outlook 15-18, Sport 20-24. Plus 24-page juice magazine LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997
NOBODY in the world must be seething when they people will turn up to enable it seemed the world would be would have swapped places see the real politicians business to be discussed at denied a review of Bruce ^LEEDSBB with Michael Portillo last getting everybody's all. Hartley's major achievement Friday morning - except attention. This week looked of the year, the wearing of maybe for your average If they had their way decidedly shaky. Only a name tags by members of STUDENT student politician, who we'd have ignored Blair at HACK handful of anoraks, axe- union staff. Then, incredibly, would just be glad of the number 10 and Major A weekly sketch of student politics grinders and apologists with the door opened and two This week in Britain's publicity. stepping down and spent nowhere better to go had fresh faced students came As the rest of the nation last Friday speculating on the celebrate as seat after seat made it as far as the plush forth. Union democracy was award-winning student cheered through the night, order paper at this week's swung the way of chickens, debating chambers of the saved at the death! newspaper of the year you could imagine members meeting of Union Council at rhinos, seven-foot Parkinson building. There But no! Let's look at that of Exec sitting at home and LUU. transvestites and they sat, muttering among goal again in slow motion. gnashing their teeth over In this fantasy world it unemployed BBC themselves, some secretly The students were not NEWS why they never get the same would be they, not Labour, journalists, anything to get praying it would be members of Union Council kind of coverage. attracting endless column rid of the divided and inquorate, the rest openly at all, merely observers Blair's big ideas: Ninety-nine per cent of inches and the fascination of discredited Exec saying so. who'd come to hear about students at Leeds University the pundits. Every bleep on government. Eighteen members were the name tags, and so the What will the new can reel off their Cabinet Andrea Drummond's pager Even then student required, and Council was body was still those two government mean Ministers but have never would be enough to whip up politicians would probably just two short. The minute tantalising members short. remotely heard of Bruce a media frenzy. be glad of the limelight, but hand ticked by, and still no And that was the most for students? Hartley. They forget, of course, for them instead there is only one came. People began to exciting moment this week pages 4-5 The other one per cent that in truth Gary Bouch obscurity, the terrible shift in their seats. Some in the life of LUU-the will tell you he's some old would be crumbling under realisation that they must speculated on what students who might fisherman who swears by the the iron stare of a Paxman push pens and stamp rubbers EastEnders held in store that have made Union Yellow Pages. while Bruce Hartley would and never be acclaimed. evening. Robin Van Den Council quorate, Exec members, who only be consumed by a landslide They must come to Hende doubtless reflected but didn't. Just So where were you ran for that office because of paperwork in the graphics meetings like Union Council, upon the constitutional wait till the they believed it would make of Peter Snow. and keep vigil not on matters implications. Dimblebys on election night? them figures of importance, The nation would of state but whether enough Time was almost up, and hear about this. David Adam and Leeds Student says page 7-9 RESULTS CHANGED BY PEAKING COMMITTEE ALERT FEATURE The Martin BeU OVER interview. Plus the student from Leeds Fury at scheme PISTOL who helped him win pages 12-14 ATTACK Outlook CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE Neverending Tory: the Road. "The guy could easily have turned nasty," he said. "I battle is on to lead for classification just wanted to get it all over Britain's newest By GARETH EVANS with." ANGRY finalists have criticised new WHAT A DRAG The robber then fled, minority party proposals to revolutionise the system of saying, "It's nothing personal pages 16-17 mate" as he left the scene. He degree classification. is described as a short, mixed- race youth and also took the A report from the victim's flat keys. Election free zone: controversial Dearing RADICAL The attack happened at Committee is pushing 7.45pm on Saturday after the Gordon Watson on for a percentage score student was followed home to be awarded, which DEGREE from the NatWest cash point the injury that on Woodhouse Lane to his flat will signal the end for at the St Mark's complex near wrecked his career the traditional first to pages 22-23 SHAKE UP the university. third class system. The attack has concerned But students and residents in the area. A university chiefs alike PROPOSAL Theatre Studies finalist living have slammed the plans at St Marks said: "I think it's as being confusing to The committee may really scary. Why didn't also impose a standardised anyone help him? potential employers. "I just think it says a lot Bryan Richards, a civil number of core engineering finalist at curriculums in degree about the kind of place Leeds Leeds University, said: programmes nationwide is. I don't like it." "We need the current so final percentage scores There has been a recent system as it groups us are comparable between spate of violent attacks on together. It's good when students at different students. In November a markers exercise universities. gunman struck just off the discretion." The scheme is already Leeds University campus and And Tom James, an being piloted at five in February, a knifeman was Archaeology finalist, universities including being hunted by police branded Dearing's plans Nottingham and officers. "ridiculous and totally Newcastle but the Police were immediately unnecessary." universities of Leeds will called in and house to house The current system is not being following suit. Romance was In the air for LMU students at a recent Blind enquiries were made. Anyone ON THE HORIZON seen by the Dearing Date event held in the students' union. A series of games with any information is urged committee as unfair Opposed and spoofs kept revellers entertained, while the highlight to call police at Millgarth with Stevie Sunshine was a striptease performed by Exec member Laurie Spieler station on 243 5353. because it A spokeswoman for Saturday: There will be sunny intervals indiscriminately groups Leeds University firmly with isolated showers. Thunder students together across a stated that "no such possible Max. temperature: 15C (59F). whole range of different scheme was being Sunday: Similar to Saturday. Sunny abilities. considered" and that they 1 intervals pierced by heavy showers. would be "strongly ?T1^"^ ^"* ( t — ' |T Maximum temperature 16C (62F). Failure opposed" to it. Outlook for the rest of the week: Sunny Fifty per cent of Not all are opposed to To a career in journalism with scattered showers. Windy spells graduates achieve a first the radical shake up. Steve I" newsman Nicholas Witchell. known by millions as one of this country's top but temperatures beginning to pick up. or upper second class Gold, a first year Physics nudists, started his career on these hallowed pages. If your burning desire is to follow student said: "I think it is a i his footsteps then your first move should be to Britain's biggest and best weekly \Weathercail Regional forecast 0891 500 417 degree, which is seen by critics as a substantial good idea to have more jdent newspaper. We're always looking for new reporters, so come along to our failure of the university specific grades because it ice at LMUSU or call our news hotline and you could be journalism's next big thing, A LOAD OF BALLS education system. encourages students to fou don't need any experience, just plenty of enthusiasm and an eye for a story. We Under the new regime, work for every mark r you the chance to learn essential skills, make your CV look brilliant, and have a Our look at the Wednesday lottery numbers students could be rather than just work to get 't at the .same time. identified as being in the to a certain level." top ten per cent for their The report will be bonus ball: 40 degree or in the bottom ten published on July 17. per cent. GARY'S NO FUN FOR BANNING SUN Bouch defeated in TV debate on
TODAY -THl paper embargo f SPKIAL ISSUE A battling union boss made a Sw/z-sational small screen debut as he launched a TV campaign to justify a ban on Britain's brightest read. Gary Bouch. [ By SHIRAZ LALANI [ Communications Officer hypocrisy after the bungling at LUU, took time out ban-merchant was spotted from his packed schedule sneaking a crafty look at the to defend his union's paper he won't let students read. LASHBACK: How Leeds Despite this latest setback in Student reported a recent unpopular decision to ban his moral crusade. Gary was in allure to lift the ban 77u' Sim on minority cable defiant mood, declaring: "This station LIVE TV. was just a bit of tun. but the ban YOU'RE BOUCH OF ORDER: Guilty Gary caught on camera getting an eyeful of the banned paper Pic: Shaun de Wet Steyn Mr Sw/j-derful Gary took on The Sun will stay in place". centre stage on live debate The ban was originally show Trial TV. hut despite imposed at a stormy union meeting, with fewer than 200 his efforts to defend his people voting to outlaw stance, he was branded Britain's best selling newspaper. Bouch of order by his pro- Despite a flood of protests Sun opponent, a student from against the ban. it has remained A history of how The Sun was taken from your shelves Cardiff I'niversity. in place after a series of The slum pits two meetings called to overturn the October 1993: An Ordinary General Meeting at LUU votes in favour of imposing a three adversaries against each other in embargo were sunk by a year ban on The Sun being sold on union premises a courtroom style debate with a combination of red tape and studio audience taking the place bureaucratic mix-ups. OCtOber 1996: The ban expires but exec try and push through a renewal without consulting of the jury. Legal eagle Paul Sun reading students were Bacon, father of Blue Peter furious that the ban was still in the student body heartthrob Richard, sits on the place after Gary's emphatic November 1996: The Sunjoin Leeds Student's campaign to scrap the ban on their publication judge's bench. defeat on the show. David Sorry Gary was court out Cheyne, an English finalist, March 1997: Two AGMs are inquorate meaning the ban can't be overturned when the audience failed to buy stormed: "It's a joke. The ban is his argument that The SK/I is totally unjustified but the union May 1997: Bouch appears on L!ve TV's Trial TV to defend his case but is defeated by a racist, sexist and homophobic. just don't care what students Instead they decided that Gary think. I can decide for myself hostile jury was guilty of first degree what I want to read." Student sues lancQord for keeping bond A LANDLORD, dubbed Terrace. By RICHARD METCALFE with the new model was also 22 to pay up after being still there, with the excuse that comprehensively beaten within the "landlord from hell," The list of costs included a to £605 - a figure close to their scaling and then replacement brand new bed - the previous it was for one of the tenants an hour and a half of court has been successfully combined deposits. of the pipes, when it should girlfriends. And the backyard time. one was missing one foot, a gas only be one or the other." sued by his student bill he claimed he'd paid - but had not been touched. The tenants will get three Charges A claim was also made for quarters of their bonds hack, tenants for withholding tenancy agreements state that the apparently damaged bond cheques of over landlords have nothing to do Clare said of the charges: Communication paying a quarter for charges, kitchen cupboard. Smithies whilst Smithies must pay all £600. with bills, £50 for re-pebbling "He w as trying to get us to pay said he'd replaced it. but when Clare sent many letters to of the backyard after he said for his maintenance. We knew court costs. Determined Geography Clare returned to the house a Smithies company. Donnelly's Clare's persistence got the they'd stolen the paving slabs, we'd blocked the drain and year later it wasn't there and estate agents, without success. finalist. Clare Dawson, took and most extraordinarily £15 didn't mind paying for that, but case to court. She said "The Roger Smithies to court little of the costed amendments "We wrote three letters to best thing you can do is get travel expenses from Smithies' he claimed when we tried to had been made. them and got no response. after he refused to return home to the property. unblock it with a plunger it had evidence and photographs. In court Smithies said he There was no communication. More people don't do this deposits to his student The residents, including compacted and cracked, had bought the cupboard but il ruining the kitchen floor and Even while we were in the because they think you need a tenants. He claimed thev Clare Dawson. a Geography wasn't in the house at the lime house we complained and they had run up huge damages to Imalist. were invoiced by cupboards. solicitor, but welfare were the students returned. did nothing." brilliant and really helped." his property in Regents tor costs amounting So he charged us for de- The damaged bed. along Smithies now has until May LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9,1997 AFTER THE AVALANCHE: WHAT TRR Educating grant used I'LL HAVE A 'B' PLEASE, MICHAEL: Jesse Griffiths and Deri Thomas celebrate their THERE may have By LAURA DAVIS government pay our fees as blockbusting performance Pic: Shaun de Wet Steyn well." been a sea-change extended student loan over longer periods of Others thought that the in British politics scheme and a time through increased number of students in but student voters graduate tax. This has National Insurance higher education would contributions. fall. "It will make the still face the left many angry A Labour spokesperson QUIZ LOVERS ARE students claiming system more elitist. Poor biggest set of said: "We believe the students won't see it as cutbacks since the they were better off student loan system was a being worth their while," under the Tories. complete failure. We feel it said Service Sector student grant was The scheme will is necessary to give Management student BLOCK BUSTERS introduced. differ from current financial support to the Christine Chapman. Under Labour's student loans, described student sector, which will QUIZ loving students have By KEVIN PETTMAN in turn increase the Problem tasted television fame by higher education in the Labour manifesto numbers entering higher To much disappointment they could as "badly administered." Plans to follow America winning an appearance on a proposals the grant is education." not defend the victory in the second to be scrapped and Repayment, based on Mat Ray, Societies and most European top game show. match, which was broadcast on replaced with an income, will be made Officer at LUU, disagreed: countries in the Deri Thomas and Jessy Tuseday. "In the short term this will introduction of the Griffiths, both Politics finalists, go some way to solving minimum wage could also Prize student financial problems pose a problem. won their round on BBC2's A Conservative Blockbusters show. "It was a shame we lost that game because they will have but it's not all bad news. After all, we enough money to complete spokesperson claims: The pair replied to the ad because "Typical student jobs such they thought it would be good fun, and came away with £160 prize money and their degrees. a few expenses-paid days out to the "In the long term as part-time and summer to their surprise were selected for an work, will be forced out of audition at the Leeds Hilton Hotel. studios." however, this will not help The two are set to continue their TV at all. Graduates are likely existence." They were then shorlisted and Graduates too could be blasted their way through questions to fame with an appearance on a Keith to become crippled by Chegwin cookery show, to be shown on debts." affected by the proposals appear on the programme being filmed for a minimum wage which at Manchester Granada studios. cable television. Deri said: "We were approached to Disgusting Conservatives claim will Unlucky go on the show after Blockbusters and cost up to 1.5 million jobs will probably get on." Students were angry at nationally. The students came from behind to But the pair aren't expected to be the proposed abolition of But Labour says win their first match but Jessy couldn't challenging Andi Peters for his job: the grant. "It's absolutely students will benefit from quite clinch the coveted Gold Run. "After this I think we will retire from disgusting, I wish I hadn't the proposal, as employers "He was unlucky as some of the the limelight. voted for them now," said will be forced to raise questions were very hard. We got the "It's been good fun but we have no Nicola Graham, a Speech salaries to a figure in line money - which was the main thing," aspirations of proper fame on the Therapy student. with the rest of Europe. Deri said. television." "They should have kept Graham Mann, it as it is. The half grant speaking as Youth and half loan system is Student Officer for the NEW KID ON THE BLOCK: What does Education Secretary acceptable and Leeds North West WHAT DO David Blunkett have in store for students? understandable as the constituency, says Labour DO WITH YOUR Wage gap widens UNFAIR FEMALE graduates are getting reward. SPAKE TIME? substantially lower wages than their male Louise Footner, a PR manager for SACKING counterparts, despite achieving higher Barclays, said "Men are looking for jobs A PROBATION officer sacked grades, writes Simon Ramsay. earlier which may be correlated to them after alerting bosses about a An alarming sexual divide in the getting higher paid work". dangerous resident of a Leeds 6 workplace shows the average starting She also believes that student debt has Probation Hostel has been salary for female graduates is 16 per cent something to do with }t:" Women often awarded £3,100 for unfair less than mens' - and the gap has doubled worry more about their debts, so they dismissal, writes Kevin Penman. Covance needs your help to test new medicines, and within the last year. take short term, stop gap jobs to pay them Florence Watson worked at the you will he fully recompensed fcir the time you spend with us. The research, part of Barclays Bank's off. Howden House bail hostel on annual Graduate Survey, highlights an Brudenell Road and became Call our Recruitment Department FREE on ever increasing gap as women not only Disgraceful concerned when resident Steven struggle for the best pay - but also the Mclntyre began visiting his best jobs. The feeling amongst students is girlfriend at Delph House Womens The survey showed that almost twice mixed. Nicola Hurst, a first year Hostel in Leeds. 0800591 570 as many men as women are in graduate broadcasting student, commented: "It's Mrs Watson was sacked by training schemes which offer greater pay, disgraceful in this day and age, and has West Yorkshire Probation Service All studies comply with the Royal College of Physicians (iuidelines even though 9 per cent more women only happened because employers would for warning staff about Mclntyre. achieved upper second or first class rather employ a man for a higher wage A month after her dismissal degrees. because he won't leave to raise a family." Mclntyre, who has a record of The result is that 3 per cent more However Sara Tiefenbrun, also a first THE DEVELOPMENT SERVICES COMPANY sexual and violent offences, women than last year are settling for year broadcaster, argued: "It's too kicked, punched and tried to temporary jobs with lower pay, when simplistic to say that it's because the strangle his girlfriend, Michelle Springfield House, Hyde Street, Leeds. I.S2 9N(i world is a sexist place." their achievements may merit greater Anderson. LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997 BLAIR REVOLUTION WILL REALLY MEAN FOR YOU NEWSFILE Vote hope dashed !'<>] ITICAL whi/./kid David 1 iceman is recovering after a long election campaign - which left him still a student Tony: axing the "Fhe Politics finalist was hoping he could he silting in Parliament rather than in the lecture theatre alter standing for election in the Leeds Central constituency. David didn't hold much hope of taking the safe Labour seat from Derek Fatchett: "this was the biggest thing I've ever done. 1 didn't expect to win." Originally a Tory in the early Thatcher years. David joined the Lib Dems in I9XX. to be for Tories "One of the reasons I got involved with the Liberal Democrats was because they actually were doing something and making the efforts" he said. Freeman, who has stood twice for Feeds City Council, looks upon his campaign as a learning experience. "It's vciy Education, education, education: how much a training ground, finding out how a campaign is the people who matter see the issue. organised and run." Unfair Mat Ray, LliU Societies He admitted his main aims Officer in running were to raise the "At the moment the grant and party profile and increase party loan scheme is extremely membership. "We set these unfair. Many students are Disillusioned goals at the beginning of the being forced to rely on "Alter last Thursday I really campaign, the party profile has parental contributions. This thought things might change. been raised and at the moment new scheme is not ideal, but We've been stuffed by the membership increased by unfortunately it is not Tories for I 8 years and mm twenty percent." economically possible to the Labour party have shown But he did not feel his return to the full grant." that under Blair they are just student status gave him an edge Graham Mann, Labour as bad. 1 just led really with the electorate: "I have Students disillusioned about the whole lived in Leeds for lour years thing." and w ill continue to do so. I Problem I.ucy Holmes. Leeds I'ni fought this election on local Combined Studies finalist issues.' "(iraduate tax will pose a problem for students as the cost of higher education will Inevitable be transferred onto them. The Roll up for past under Labour? Pic: Sarah Davis MONEY WORRIES: Will grant queues be a thir principal effect of this will be "It's inevitable that this was going to happen. There are so education, but they did not listeners than the Conservatives to discourage people from plans to take an estimated entering higher education" many more people going to increase the money going in," and more open to new ideas university these days that ball tickets 250,000 people off Conservative Party spokesman unemployment benefit by he said. from ordinary people. there can't be enough money TICKETS are almost sold out iiuestment of windfall tax, This has been welcomed by Tax to go around. I don't mind many of whom will be students. Standards some students who believe their having to pay back my living for this year's top social He also believes that political opinions may now be "We continue to believe in expenses when I graduate, occasion. "Under Labour I believe we heard and taken seriously. The Official Graduation university standards will will see an increase in university free education for all. Labour but what I can't agree with is improve, despite an expected Labour also claims that they have made it quite clear that tuition fees." Ball is the highlight of many funding which will go a long are a greener party than the students' years and there are rise in entries to higher way to improving standards all they are backing the graduate Nadeem Rahemtulla, I.Ml education. Conservatives, which is an issue tax, which will not solve the French second year only a few tickets left. over the country." that many students care strongly Would he ball-goers are "The Tories increased the Labour claim they are better problem in the long term." number of people in higher about. urged to hurry if they want to get in to the prestigious event. The line up of acts for this y ear's exlrav atigan/a included Oasis tribute band No Way Sis. .lames 'Fay lor Quartet and Tourism success ART-TASTIC Computer chaos a host of top l),ls. VIDEO artwork by a Leeds holiday in a couple of weeks Ball favourite Pete Pillow TWO upwardly mobile students runner-up in her competition. She finalist is to be screened on BANK holiday mayhem hit Leeds University last weekend time." will also be playing his are celebrating after winning had to write a 1,000 word essay Channel Four this summer alter legendary set. separate travel writing on why she was studying a alter computer clusters were A spokesperson lor the it came first in a national university explained the Tickets are available to all competitions run by the Institute language. She is delighted at her competition, \\-riti-s ./cm Hcnt-k. closed frustrating students desperate to linish vital course situation: "The superv isor for the students from CATS at LUU of Travel and Tourism, HT/'/C.V success: "It was a nationwide Fine Art student Ben Ib also and from the cuts hall at Richard Mcrculfe. competition and to be runner-up work, trmo Miilllii'M (icni'vcr. \\oolhouse cluster didn't have scooped €1000 in the Bi-annual the keys and so had to got help LMUSU. More coincidenlally. the two meant it had to be a pretty good Video Positive electronic Arts The trouble was compounded students - Kofi Ohene-Djan and entry." when the Woolhousc cluster - from the porter's office, causing festival held in Manchester last unfortunate delays. But there Nicola Dawson - are housemates Both students are now looking month, for his video called one of the biggest in the and coursemates. studying lorw ard to claiming their pri/ev university didn't open on the were two other clusters open Treason charge "Collapse." with tree terminals available." lounsm Management at LMU. Ben's video was one ol eight Saturday morning alter a mix up. Kofi heat off hundreds ol leaving around 50 students It is standard procedure for NOBF.I. pri/c winning Nigerian shortlisted from over one clusters at the university i. competitors to win his contest, hundred and eighty entries in the waiting outside. writer \\ole Soyinka has been gaining a place at an international Rachel Bccvcrs. a French closed on bank holidays. Ruth charged with treason in his single channel video category, Demon, who works at the conference on tourism in Greece. which was judged by a panel of Linguistics finalist, was one ol homeland, a crime which carries He had to write a 500 word essay those left waiting aiound: "It was computing help desk, said: the death penalty. four. "There isn't the staff to have on win he should he the student The five minute-long video awful really because I know I Leeds University graduate 10 the conference ami how wouldn't he able to use the computers available. I'm afraid Soyinka was charged with took him about two months 10 the closures arc just a sig,i of the beneficial it would be to him. put together and he is now computers on the bank holiday conspiring to start war on "I was very surprised that I'd anyway, so what happened on limes." Nigeria's military leader. making anothei one thai will be The problem is not shared by won." he said. "It's going to be shown at the Faversham in June Saturday just made matters He has said he is not surpiised great for my CY and DELIGHTED: Winners and worse. I'm just worried about LMU whose computers are open at the reaction of the regime to his as part of the Fine Art end of every hank holiday. networking." housemates Kofi and Nicola year show. what to do for the next bank pro-democracy stance. Housemate Nicola v\ Pic: Sean De Wet Steyn LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997 ARE OUR BASIC OR BASE INSTINCTS BEING PREYED UPON TO PROMOTE PRODUCTS? STUDEN^ LEEDS•T• Leeds Student is an independent newspaper serving students at Leeds Metropolitan University. Leeds University and other colleges in and around Leeds. AH our iournulists abide by a code or conduct, but if you have any problems, please contact the Editor. Comments, contributions and helpful criticism are invited.
Editor David Smith Deputy Editor Ben East Hard core? More Juice21 Editor Spike SECTION EDITORS Arts Clare Lister Justin Penrose Lauren Pushkin Books Spike Linden Thornton Clubs like a soft centre Sarah Monk EX, it seems, has Nick O'Meally made rather an Comment astounding Sue Barnard S Kate Bingham comeback. The Alex Cameron evidence suggests Fashion that the commercial Jenni Jones world has Jenni Letts rediscovered the fact Features that sex sells. Over Emma Al-Jumaili the last few years, Chris Leadbeater Mike Pflan/. there has been a Katy Regan significant increase Listings in the use of tanned Joe Downie bodies and erotic Music images to shift the Owen Gibson latest commodity. Piers Martin Think about it. Chris Mooney One can hardly turn News on the television without Abbie Jones seeing the latest awful Andy Kelk Shiraz Lalani 'boy band' creation Naveed Raja prancing about the stage with oiled nipples, Pictures Sarah Davis singing about the need to save the world. Of Politics course, such Tina Burrett monstrosities cannot in Jacob Mickey any way be compared Production with the wonderful Spice Steve Cooper Girls whose success has Tony Keaveney What docs all this frenzy of Oliver Qui nn absolutely nothing to do hormone based selling equate with acres of bare flesh. to? It seems that the last few Science Incidentally, how many years have seen the end of the David Adam people actually came to Alex Kibble BY PHILIP BARTRAM Puritanical hang-over from the Barry McKernan like the 'fantastic five' latter half of the 1980s. One after seeing them? reason why advertisers have Sport Personally, I remember stopped shying away from the Zoe Feller having to turn off the radio unwittingly encapsulates why be winging its way up the precipitated a proliferation of use of sex to sell goods might Alex Gubbay people wanted to watch it) and charts. men's magazines like Loaded be due to a perceived whenever I heard Showgirls are in a position (if The spectacle that was the Paul Wilson 'wannabee', now I'm the and FHM. Such publications reduction in the danger of Deputy rather a compromising one) to general election was not have been accepted into the contracting HIV. Chris Straw most avid fan. It is also make an unfeasibly large without its sexual mainstream of British culture The upsurge in the power Total Football interesting to note that the profit. connotations with everything and even Leeds University of suppressed sexiness (which Kofi Ohene-Djan girls provide a good excuse The world of motoring has about Tony Blair tailored to Union is allowed to sell them. seems to erupt in Leeds every for male bonding as each also redesigned itself to fit make him appear as every It has at last become Saturday at the Poly Bop) has Television lad picks his favourite this market of sexual woman's dream partner. acceptable to read about been reflected in our culture Joe Downie posturing. It has long been the Ross Horsley member whilst endless football and women, brilliant! from Take That to the return Matt James debates erupt over whether cry that certain cars are an HAT then has It seems that men are now of the old page-three models Jenny Wood extension of the male caused this feeling more secure in their in the shapely form of or not Gerry's boobs have anatomy. This has gone a step got any bigger. Wexplosion in sex- world of testosterone. No Melinda Messenger. Travel further with sexual images enhanced marketing? One longer concerned about being It is apparent that playing The use of sex as a selling being used to promote cute must, I think, consider the Tamsin Martin point does not stop with the branded sexist pigs, there has to the most basic level of Jo Young little cars such as the Renault rising influence of 'New been a re-emergence of the human desire is no longer sphere of music. Anything Clio. If it's good enough for Laddism'. This new (or from the old favourites after- 'phwoar factor'. taboo. Advertisers are DEPARTMENT HEADS gorgeous French Nicole, then rekindled) ethos, centred Interestingly enough, it prepared to use such images to shaves and perfumes to ice it's good enough for me. around the increasing success cream, in the guise of Hagen- could even he argued that devastating success in Business Manager Jeans have also been a of football and the buzz left football itself can be sold promoting their products. Helen Whiteoak Daas (which stops being a major culprit in sex-selling. after Euro 96, has helped to dessert to be marketed as a sex through the medium of sex. I However, despite all this The recent Levis advert, revitalise male culture. This can think of a few females eroticism. I think a quote from Editorial hotline: aid), is considered fair game. where a man narrowly escapes point is further reinforced (0113)2434727 The application of who sit glued to Manchester Hlcickdilth'r the Third would having his trousers ripped off when one considers the United matches solely for the sum up how many of us feel Advertising hotline: eroticism can also he seen in by mermaids, is as predictable popularity and antics of bands call Helen Whiteoak on the world of cinema where opportunity to look at David about sex. "For me. socks are as the fact that yet another like Oasis. Beckham's legs. What is the like sex - ions of it about and I (0113)231 4251 or appalling films such as Runic Levis based theme tune will This environment has 0850 488 543 Insiinci (whose title world coming to'.' never seem to gel any!" LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997 EM'S PEOPLE BLEEDS Ml IF TH& UK QttS A STUDENT TWELVE WE TO Cheer the red army THE sun shone, people had a spring in their step/Britain even won the Eurovision song contest - whoever said a Labour" Government couldn't deliver. The mood of national optimism Following last week's general election evoked memories of that last sun- baked TV spectacular. Euro 96. Clubbing and dissertations were thrown aside as students pitched up for the night in front of their I'Vs and cheered every laser blast as Peter Snow laid w.iste the nation's Tory temples. But were we merely dancing on the grave of the CONTEST- dead, or toasting the birth of a New Government worth having a feelgood I actor about1.' I MM. we students have to acknowledge the w av Thursday night rolled back frontiers. The historians were intrigued, the pundits excited, the public thrilled - but for us. more than any ot them, for us it LETTERS TO THE EDITOR was truly momentous. A bone to pick with heads of state or just disgruntled at the amount Sleazeballs What typical student born in the mid-'7(Kor of mozarella on the refec pizza? As if MEDIA EXPOSURE wasn't alter can remember anything other than ageing slut Iv reactionary ugh!wing slea/ehalls ruiiiii: incentive enough, there's a lottery-rivalling CASH PRIZE for the best lives1' The biggest upheaval we ever saw was a mad blonde dictator being replaced In .1 sail letter this week and every week. Write to The Editor at Leeds Student, LUU, PO cricketer Labour weren't just /// Opposition. They irr/v Box 157, Leeds LS1 1UH, fax (0113) 246 7953 or drop by the LMUSU office at City Site. ()pposition Whatever our parents tried to remember, the idea of the Labour Party having any Dear Editor, when he found penicillin mould on Dear Editor, kind of power was simply unreal. his petri dish. But perhaps this is not I-or adults. IS years was just a very long time: BY recklessly labelling all porn, LETTER sufficiently market orientated or HAVING heard so many good things about torus it was virtually a lifetime. he it hard or soft, as "wrong", OF THE vocational for Ms Atyeo. Liquid we thought it was about time we spent So for us it wasn't (he scale of v ictorv so much .lacinta C'ostcllo. Women's The final and most objcctional an evening at this popular venue. as the unthinkable consequences, that something Officer at LUU.does little to WEEK claim that she makes in her tirade The entrance Ice was paid, beers were with us for as long as we could remember had elevate the debate on against progress is that it is ordered, the music was excellent, the place fundamental I v changed. pornography from the gutter of Dear Editor, inherently too dangerous. packed, so imagine our dismay when we The new generation of young and/or female generalisations and misplaced Again, the stunning insight that icalised that it was not just us. but everyone Labour MPs. and the comparative youthtulness of moral dogma. IF Juliana Atyeo had her way. we we don't know the results until an else who were fry ing in their seals like donor Tony Blair, has come like a gust of millennial wind Pornography is an important would all return to the caves experiment has been carried out - an kebabs while trying to enjoy "Saturday to blow awav the cobwebs of countless Tories who issue for a modem society to (Campus Vivisection. May 2. 1997). argument which could he deployed Saturday., it's Saturday". seemed to belong to another era. address. It throws up interesting She uses an article on vivisection to against all progress, experimentation Another round of drinks and an attempt at But after the novelty, the mv igoration. there are questions on freedom of give vent to prejudice against all and any action at all. losing ourselves (ami the feeling of fainting I still the same old questions for New Labour. expression, the degradation of science and progress. There may he side effects, but on the danccfloor. No gixxl. things were not This is the party traditionally supported In individuals (mostly although not She attacks human learning as that is why there are extensive trials getting any ax>lcr. in fact thev were heating students, but which has already pledged to scrap the exclusively women i and the "the somewhat arrogant quest lot- - like animal experiments - before up. and I'm not referring to the v ibe. maintenance grant in line with lory policy right to privacy. Answers to knowledge"; condemns psychology new drugs or inventions arc used. We may not have been to every club/ bar these questions will not be found experiments lor their "notorious lack But the results of science can protect in Lngland. but we know enough to expect we Rightwing shouldn't be breaking into a tidal wave of by sensationalising pornography of practical application", and us from the real danger that a puny Jack Straw, the new Home Secretary - the sweat without setting tool on the danccfloor. or misrepresenting its effects to cautions against the "possible human being would face against highest office ever achieved In a formei President Some of our party approached staff to further sectional interests. dangers caused bv human nature, a barbaric realm where only of LUU - is w idclv regarded as more rightw ing than 1 can personally think of interference w ith nature". the fittest survive (anil harelv complain about the evening, hoping for some kind of compensation, like the liver we paid to Michael Howard, not himscll seen as a wishy- many adjectives to describe It is shameful that any university survive) in an unrelenting war washy liberal. pornography - enjoyable, student should ever regard the quest against the elements. It is a war that get into this steam room lor starters. The managct was less than friendly and And Labour's age old lend w ith social offensive, sad. degrading come for knowledge as 'arrogant'. This is we are w inning, and improving our inequality has shown distinct signs of cooling off. confiscated the notice of apology stuck up in to mind. But to pronounce such a line of argument much used by lives infinitely in the process. If we All of which troubles the honev iiHxin. but hardly the ladies' toilets. He claimed to know nothing a complex issue as being 'right' medieval mystics and the Catholic start pushing back science, we will gives cause to call the marriage off. about am air-conditioning, let alone am or 'wrong' is to replace rational Church, but seems to he making a he truly humbled and impotent Whatever your objections to New Labour. \ou broken-down and currently being fixed air argument with moralising drivel. comeback with '90s liberals. before natural forces. The real can hardly blame Tony Blair for play ing it safe in conditioning Alarm bells start ringing. 1 And what does she mean bv danger is that this specious scare - the run-up to the election, given the shattering blow fear, when any elected expci iments not having any mongering could ever be allowed to .Alter a quarter of an hour of 'discussion' with the manager, and accusations of "it you ol defeat in 1992. representative of a student body 'practical application' .'They may- stifle scientific progress. Now there is a ftxit in the door, and the speaks in such pious, judgmental increase our knowledge of a subject weren't so drunk, blah, blah..." latter a pint and a bottle of water! and statements like "this fundamental nature of the Labour party cannot have terms. or educate students w ithout ever Michael Savage transformed so utterly as to kill all potential or be having a 'practical application". is capitalism, darling", we decided to give up on the evening and seek revenge later. anything but a dramatic improvement on the dire Name and address witheld Moreover, who knows what the Editor's rt'/>l\: You .see, a/I those lory regime practical application of an wasted schoolroom hours witli Editor's rt'i>l\: Alarm hells skirl experiment will be before it is hi/iise/i hunters itr/v a saerifiee that Whatever the reservations about riiu;iiii> wlii'ii tiny eleeled carried out' Alexander Lleming had to he made in the name of Tony Blair, at least he gives our representdln'e iifn student hotly .wasn't looking for an antibiotic prvgn Editor's re/il\: '.' A.r
Alternative
Upto Prospectus on production N.U.S. Card (cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer). LEEDS STUDENT Friday April 2,1997 Were you turned on enough to turn out? had been hoping not to have to result also seemed extremely popular among stuck between a mad bloke with the entire BBC righl leisure centre was a little dull. mention the election at all. students. At least I hope so or given /,
Katrinu anil The (winning) W LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997
The sky's Sexist' contest the limit A BRAWL outside a popular student pub has helped protests against a proposed extension. Steve Taylor. Dean Jones and Niek Parkinson, all second year Construction Management students, found themselves caught up in a fight outside the A slammeCONTROVERSIAL By KEVIN PETTMAN competition." d Arabic Studies student Tim Skyrack pub in Headingley. Miss University benefit to students. A On leaving the pub, Steve was Rust agreed: "How can they justify competition has 'been spokeswoman said: "It's not the only targeting women? They approached by a man in his sort of thing we will be backing." twenties who punched him in the branded 'sexist' and should consider launching a Mr Event organisers have hit back University contest too. I don't face. Dean described the attack: 'degrading' by at criticisms, claiming the "The bloke swung at him and think it will catch on as students university executives competition will recognise the will be able to see the commercial Steve's face just exploded, there achievements and personality of was blood everywhere." and students. drive behind this." competitors as well as physical A competition spokesperson The man then walked across The contest, which will attributes. the road inviting the other two denied the competition was purely select a Leeds finalist to go Lara Smart, of Miss University financially-motivated: "Prize students to engage him in a fight. Ltd, said: "It won't be like Miss Seeking retaliation they took up forward to the Grand Final money will be awarded to regional in London in April 1998, has World. It's more intelligent than and grand final winners but a his offer, but a gang of that, and not a beauty pageant. approximately eight men outraged LUU Women's percentage of the proceeds will go appeared from the beer garden of to women's and children's Officer Jacinta Costello. Swimwear charities." the Original Oak across the road . She criticised the "We aim to dispel the fallacy She added: "The event has The Police arrived five minutes competition as," totally sexist after the fight broke out. that women cannot be beautiful actually had quite a good response. Local residents are citing the and targeting students for and intelligent and there will be no I assure you that the issue of incident as further evidence commerce and promotion." girls in swimwear." sexism does not even enter." against an extension being built She added: "Not having a Mr But even this did not convince However LMU will not be onto the Skyrack. They are University makes it even students. Vikki Baron, backing the event either. Jim opposing the plans on the grounds worse." Broadcasting Studies fresher, said: Evans. Communications Officer, of noise pollution and do not want The National Union of Students "Most students will think it's a stated: "It's not the kind of image more students spilling out onto was also sceptical of the event's joke. I can't see many women we want to promote or support in the streets. objectives and questioned the real entering or supporting this the union. Universities are a highly GLAM GIRL: Could she be Miss Leeds University? Pic: Sarah Davis PC area."
YOUR FIRST PAIR OF GLASSES
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BOX OFFICE NOW OPEN UNTIL 9PM FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS THE TOWN & COUNTRY CLUB 55 COOKRIDCE STREET LEEDS LS2 3AW. BOX OFFICE 0113-2800100 Lower Ground Floor, Union Buildings, Leeds University LEEDS CREDIT/DEBIT CARD BOOKINGS SUBJECT TO BOOKING FEE LEEDS LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997 Students threatened with bottle by teen mob
Dog and boom An American man parked hi;, brand new Cherokee Jeep on ; fro/on lake when he wen duck-hunting and hurled SAVAGE BEATING stick of dynamite a sail distance away in an attempt tc open up the ice. His trusty Labrador chased after it and brought it back diving under the Jeep foi refuge when the man fired his shotgun in the air. Hence the dog perished in the icy watei BY YOUTH GANG By RICHARD METCALFE along with the Jeep and the A GANG of local man can't claim on his youths attacked a who helped me." said the insurance because explosive: student as he walked Maths student. were involved. "Some of them arc doing 'Cool, huh huh huh - NOT home - and left him my course - you could call it a Gone to pot needing 10 stitches twist of fate." for a head wound. The attack was not an A rally to legalise marijuana in isolated incident. Police were New York went to pot when He was attacked after called to investigate a gang in police arrested 63 of the he and two friends were the same area that night after protesters for smoking and confronted by an eight- reports of another .filing the drug. strong group of 14- to disturbance. 18-year-olds in Hyde And in a further attack another group of students Park. were also victims of a similar The leader of the uang attempted mugging earlier in threatened to bottle one of the evening. They escaped the students unless he unharmed but police believe handed over his wallet. the incidents may be linked. "He raised a bottle and grabbed me by the collar," Fear said the terrified second y Students living in the Hyde The gang attempted to mug Park area have reacted with a the three students w ho Political preview mixture of fear and anger. struggled free and ran away in "It's scary that they can do A student grooving the night two different directions things like this and no one may at a disco learned of lea\ ing one isolated. cures,said finalist Helen Ton) Blair's cabinet "I ran and thought I'd got Wheeler. appointments on his pager - 12 away. Then I realised that one "The police said they lours before they were ol them was following me so I would step up presence in this nnounced. ran faster." said the victim. area after the last wave of The message flashed up attacks hut its all hot air." detailing who would get what Ambush Students living in the Hyde ob and then back at home. But at the end of Brudenell Park area were first put on Nick, a Sheffield catering Mount, four of the youths alert when a teenage gang indent, received information were waiting to ambush him. calling themselves 'The Youth BEAVIS AND Butthead, the two ugliest Instead, bands Rootjuice and Crazy (;<>ds about the Northern Ireland He was then beaten of Today' launched a series of cartoon characters on TV, should have been of Endless Noise played to 400 students in peace moves. "Someone's although the attackers took attacks in October which left a causing mayhem outside LUU on the Refectory. seen given the wrong number" nothing. He stumbled away number of victims Wednesday. The event was part of a three week tour said. and was helped by students hospitalised. But the gruesome twosome were forced taking the outrageous pair to universities who had seen the attack from Brandishing baseball bats, inside by bad weather to promote their new and cinemas around the country. Other Bouncing breasts their house and called an clubs and iron bars, they film 'Coming to America', writes Richard activities included pizza and bogey eating ambulance and police. terrorised students as part of a Metcalfe. competitions. Organisers of a bungee jump "I'd just like to say thanks n extreme 'student bashing" The heavy rain and sleet prevented the The new film is released on May 23. at Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe. very much to those people campaign. use of electrical equipment outside. Pic: Sean De Wet Steyn let girls go for free - only they had to do it topless. So many took up the offer rather than pay £60 that the SUSPECT SOUGHT idea was quickly shelved. CRICKET Course cuts Sex-ercise books CAMPAIGN Teenagers have slammed sex education according to a new A NEW campaign has been survey with over half saying launched to prevent developers building on Yorkshire's cricket spark row they need to be taught a lot more in school. ground when the club moves A CONTROVERSIAL plan By OLY TIPPER Nearly half of teens said out of Headingley. writes C/in'.v to transfer an entire university Blake. was a mistake: "It's easy to they learnt about sex from course to Huddersfickl has sec how sonic students playground gossip, with only Harold Best, newly elected been attacked by students Labour MP for the area, is perceive a hidden agenda." ving told about the who claim the move was The poor response to the 'birds and the bees' by their campaigning to keep the land forced through without their as an open space if the move survey meant that students parents and just Ifi'/r learning consent. now have no choice hut to anything useful from lessons. goes ahead. Chemistry students at Neil Walmsley. a fourth accept the move when their I Ml' have alleged foul play department is axed. All year Civil Hngineering Student after a letter asking their Given the boot and treasurer of the III current students will be opinion was sent to their transferred and first year Football-mad Stephen Cricket Society is worried home addresses during term Vickers. splashed out OOO 01 about the effect of Yorkshire intake will cease. time. Not all students arc willing a flight from New York, so pulling out: "It leaves a big The final reply date for the could see his old pub side play hole in the area, and it could to accept the move. Second letter was March 21. the last year Martin Demon said: mday league match. become a supermarket." day of term. The 28' year old fan was When Yorkshire pulls out, "I'm certainly not going to "It's illogical to think that go to Huddersfield. We really distraught to see them beatei POLICH have issued a photofit of The attacker is described as a the cricket school which the students would be at home a man they wish to interview in white male. ?' 10" tall, late 2()s university uses will go with don't need this kind of 3-2. during term time. The whole pressure during our exam connection with a serious sexual with a heavy build and a beer them but Neil believes it is thing is very devious." said assault belly. He spoke with a Yorkshire likely to he taken over by the period." second year chemist Lisa HI forts are currently in As reported in last week's accent. He was wearing a dark private sector because the Hamilton. Compiled by Ij.'1'ds Student, an attack ux>k jacket and dark blue jeans. venue was very well used. progress by LMUSU to Simon Caffrey, l.MUSU negotiate the individual needs Jan Henek place near Clarence Dock Anyone with any information president, also thinks there recently. should call police on 241 4687. of students. 11 12 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997
An independent man
The early hours of last Friday morning saw the election of the first independent MP in the Commons for 52 years. Leeds Student got one of the first interviews with the accidental hero of British democracy. CHRIS LEAt talks exclusively to Martin Bell about Bosnia, election fever, and setting out alone in the political world
can make a difference « Parliament. Just watch herb herb
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There are still some tickets left for the 1997 Graduation Ball, available from LUU CATS, LUU Ents Office, LUU Rag Office and LMUSU. £39.50 cash & cheque, credit card sales subject to fee). Tickets sold at LMUSU are subject to booking fee. Price includes all entertainment, transport and food Tickets are now available to all students Friday May 9th 1997 contents 3
4-6 H clubs STILL FUNKING, SUPERJOCK CARL COX LETS IT ALL HANG OUT FOR JUICE "'THEY ARE YOUNG, A they are strong, keep their "sideburns nice and long. ^Take your friends, see them ™live... you get the idea. The music UKs best not-quite- 7H Wteenagers-anyniore-actually are hack on tour, pla\ ing feisty Hairsuitepop, or BABYBIRD LIVE AND ALL THE IMPORTANT something. Stop shaving w as a tribute. REVIEWS IN THE MUSIC WORLD
1 8-9 ERK, ERK. Malfunction. Am not supposed to lose. i Programme error. Deleting DRINK PUNCH OR PUNCH DRUNKS-ALI'S HARD all files, deleting all files. i Eek eek eek eek boom. HITTING NEW FILM-IT'S A KNOCKOUT! Three cheers and lots of cliches about plucky Irish sportsmen to Ken Doherty for saving the world from books Hendry's evil robotic schemes. SHY BOY AMITAV GHOSH TAKES DOWN HIS GENES AND REVEALS ALL. PLUS SIMON & GARFUNKEL BI-OP HA HAAH GERMANY ) Sod Euro 96 now that we've won the erm, > Eurothingy Competition. Congrats and cliches about centre Q one hit wonders to our ' heroes. Expect the Best Of package 'Walking on HERBIE RIDES AGAIN PARSLEY, SAGE, > Sunshine and. erm a couple of B-sides' shortly. ROSEMARY AND TYME 15-22 H in vision SO YOU WON. Well done. Now stop those Party Political Broadcasts YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO AVOID ALL with dodgy organ music THE TORY LEADERSHIP CRAP ON THE and grainy camera shots that start 'Do you know BOX. INDISPENSABLE what the future holds for \oitr children?" I haven't got any bloody children, so put Eiistenders back on. Tony who? television THROUGH THE ARCHED WINDOW- A LOOK AT THOSE KIDS PROGRAMMES BUNGLE. ASSESSED ESSAY deadlines. Nothing worse'? Eeh-Urr. Feeling like last ' week's washing up and looking greener, that's Juice's weekly rant at British culture I worse. And all because you finished that essay. Turn that | bkxx.lv music down. I'm I the wraparound skirt last over her shorts and under her we don't want to see it - trying to vomit. C'fftOft seen in Marbella. crop top. unless that is \ou arc Dean There was so much flesh Now I'm no page three Cain, but I digress. have a better look at the girl And what about men in sunbathing in the bikini on displav and too much of model, but what I haven't got that simpK should not have I don't Haunt. When these vests? They laugh at their overruled the desire to look grandads for wearing them, good in the kickabout. But been out for all to see. girls stand in front of the Walking through the park 1 mirror in the morning, do but they think it's acceptable not all of the girls were when the sun conies out. Just > "CHAMPIONS, worth missing the goal. they think. T look good'.'' champions." Do-you- Do they think 'sod no. It's not. Every girl with a The whole countr\ goes > really-think-we-care? Take THE sun reared its golden pierced belly button - sensibility, it's summer'? your non-Manchester Here comes summer Don't think I'm sexist mad when the sun comes out. head last week and for a and many without - had No one's saying they ) accents, giant foam hands while it looked like summer a sudden need to show it • let's not flaunt our in my discrimination and Ryan Giggs duvet either. Men arc equally at shouldn't - afternoon had arrived. Hormones to all and sundry. Crop imperfections, eh! drinking sessions, sunbathing k covers, and f**k off back to started raging as the male fault in the. "Look at my tops and hot pants were and frisbee are all brilliant - Torquay or wherever it is population of Leeds realised de rigeur. Girls who had flesh" stakes. As they k you come from. It's almost saw LI girl wearing what have their kickahouts in the I'm just requesting that the that this meant that short spent the entire winter flesh is kept away. Dress to tune for another season of skirts and with them legs, deliberating over whether appeared from afar to be a park, the shirts come off - f/ladiators, you know. Oh. black and white stripey and they are staying off. impress, flaunt what \ou'\e would reappear. they looked fat/ flat chested/ got. make the most of your Two more words. Football matches in Hyde big hipped in that long baggy sweatshirt, as I drew They are walking around "'Borussia' and 'Dortmund.' closer 1 realised it was campus with their hairless assets, just don't forget what Park suddenly plummeted in sleeved polo neck, forgot vour strong points are. .standards as the desire to themselves and dragged out simply her stomach (lopping chests out. Just put it away. 15 Juice Friday May 9 1997
... NO INTRODUCTION But, hey, we're going to write one anyway. Yes, it's Carl Cox - triple-deck action hero and a legend in his own very large lunchtime. Does he think he's the world's greatest disc jockey? PIERS MARTIN investigates
arl Cox, of course, follow-up to, er, 'F.A.C.T', a around the world and also I'm paying bottom shelf to DJing, You can getting more and more back into that. needs no seamless mix of his own and respect to the artist's who have made expect the new Carl Cox album in the We're gonna start seeing yer new his chums' greatest moments that music. You know, the music I've middle of next year, though." Orbitals, maybe a new Sasha. People Cintroduction. In the been involved in has progressed into need to be inspired otherwise the fly-by-night world of club on vinyl. what we're hearing now, I'll stand by s you said, you've been whole scene will be killed off'cos culture this guy is, to put And since he's out touring the this." playing out for a fair while it's been milked so much. There's no mother, why doesn't he just stick Phew! He's a garrulous chap and A now, so how do you think more water left in the well." These it mildly, something of a the CD on and put his feet up for no mistake, utterly endearing too. But dance music and culture has are wise words indeed, especially legend. a few hours? Surely it which is his favourite, actually changed? "It seems to be immersed coming from someone as well- He's been voted Best would save all that with the majors now. who established as Carl Cox. It's nice to record bag-hunting arc marketing the ideal sec that all those free lunches and International DJ too many clothes, tours, compilations, plane trips haven't stunted his healthy times to remember, his record- hassle'? 'I get sick of listening "What a good idea!." records. You know, obsession with music. There are lots spinning jaunts across the the great man chuckles. Superclubs: music that even of small anti-club clubs springing up globe are virtually "I could just whack it on your granny could get into, all over the place, though. It's not all unparalleled and, to top it all, and stick my hands in to Gina G all the time!' all that sort of stuff." He Superclubs, thank God. he makes some damn fine the air for a bit. My goes on: "Basically, the "Yeah, with the rave scene we record, though ('F.A.C.T bottom line is that this didn't conform to clubbing," he techno. When he has the time, making records or mixing the music had to come from somewhere reminisces. "We was out there 'til 2'}. is definitely definitive compared buggers? "I like being as creative as that is. Fortunately, he's been to anyone else's. Most of the people first, and I like to think that I'll God knows what hour, not worrying in the studio of late, putting who do those mix compilations have possible," he enthuses, "but there are always try and represent that. So if there was a doorman looking over the records handed to them on a plate. two sides to what I do. My DJing side hearing The Propellerheads for the your shoulder to see if you're together 'F.A.C.T 2' (that's is stacked pretty high, as it should be first time has nothing to do with drinking a lager shandy or 'Future Alliance Of They go: "Oh yeah, I'll mix it, give after 25 years, but my artistic side I me a hundred grand, thank you very Superclubs and marketing but with threatening to beat you up. And as a Communication and feel is always within me and now I'm someone's interpretation of their DJ you could be free with your music much. able to offer that to the rest of the Tecknology', obviously), the "My album is based on music from music which represents them." because you didn't have to conform world. But at the moment it takes a "Right now a lot of people are or play Top 40 records. It's taken 16 clubs 5 WIN TRIBAL GATHERING TICKETS! es folks, Tribal tunes, too - not a bad bloke, ihis truly international Gathering is back told. dancci.. ;ie the of tickets for Tribal (fathering and this time its Of course, there's the usual National ( , Hotline i.l. whal's Y plethora o| cafes, comedians on: 0541 5(X) 044. Tickets mo., included been granted a licence (Eddie Izzard, Woody Bop £35 plus, at the most, a f.5 COMPETITION TIME! because we also have one pair and so will go ahead. Muddy) and movies, but it's booking fee. The information of National Express return Bigger than last year's the music that obviously takes and competition line (win a pair Sec C.'iirl Cox play live! Your coach tickets to dish out spectacular, this event kicks centre stage here. of tickets e\er> week) is: 0336 super soaraway /. clubs a long time to realise "Can Carl Cox play my club?" you think you're the best DJ in that you need more freedom and I do. and 1 rock it," he the world? inside the places, rather than says modestly "1 would play "Well obviously not. But 'You'\e sot 10 wear a Dolce & drum 'n' bass but I piped that lots (it other people have Gabbana T-shirt'." for tour years in the early davs different opinions and it is nice But hang on a minute, mate, and I got completely slagged to be appreciated. I have a lot you've played Cream many for it. And by the time it got to say, a lot to offer. I have a times. Isn't that something of a accepted I stood down from it, belief in what I do." Carl says. Superclub? "Thing iswith that and my heart lay with disco as if rattling on about some is that they've given me a and house music, one of the new religion. "I just give it fantastic sound system in my things that got me into it in the straight to the people, it's the own room and there's no first place. So obviously a lot people who've put me on the musical persona to that apart of people forgot that I'd pedestal. Y'know, fair play! I from 'Let's 'ave it!' They've already played drum 'n' bass." will bow down respectfully given me freedom to do what I he adds, not a little piqued. "I 'cos they're the ones who have want and every time I've didn't wanna live a lie by danced to my music for so played there I've had people playing it. If Grooverider's got many years." crying. It's unbelievable, a 21 million dub plates and I've great buzz." got two, erm, I think he's the nd the question one that should be playing everyone is dying to 'm playing stuff by Fatboy them. There's no point me A know: just how many Slim and Richard Fearless struggling." records do you have. Carl? Ibecause I'm able to and I Don't you get sick of "Erm. about 47.000," he want to," he natters. "I enjoy it listening to dance music all the laughs with a twinge of when I can take people on time? Don't you just want to embarrassment. "I've got one some sort of journey into kick back and tap your foot to house with them all racked up sound where they can just a spot of Oasis or something? in one room with two come away and think "Wow! "I get sick of listening to Gina turntables: all from I96H to the I've heard loads of different G all the time." he says, present day. I actually want to stuff tonight from one DJ." It's understandably. "But I like get rid of half of them but I what I'm about, what inspirational music, music that just can't. When you look at represents me as a DJ." inspires me. and there's loads that room it's my life, and of music like that. I like things there's a lot of life there to o do you get told to play that are constructive and not behold." strictly House sets or destructive really." You're not wrong. Carl Smainly techno'.' "Nah. just The crunch question then. Do Cox, you're not wrong. 'I would play drum 'n' bass in the early days and I got completely slagged for it' Juice Friday May 9 1997 clubs oncrete tower Co-owner of 'V Brian Gee When I moved to London I got believe they had this much feature artists from over Brian Gee and DJ and producer also runs Philly into a soul sound in around talent in the way of Bristol. labels on the album ? blocks, reggae Blunt with Jack Frost. Credited 1980. From there I just After talking to Jack Frost we B.G: Goldie was just a fan of, DJ Krust took sound systems, with discovering Roni Si/.e and progressed with the music. decided to start the V label up. "The Calling", the original track C Krust, Gee's now resident at Funk, Jazz-funk then progressed We do a lot of tracks with other that Roni did on dub plate. restless kids and dub London's weekly Movement to Hip-Hop and Acid. I've been artists like Dillinja, Lemon D Fabio and GrooveRider always time out to talk heavy bass have one night at Bar Rumba. following it right through. and Ray Keith, but I've been used to play the track at Rage, thing in common... DJ Krust is part of Bristol's concentrating on Roni and Krust and Goldie would be screaming about the latest Bristol. Over the past "Reprazent", collective (Roni Brian, how did the V label because it's the flavour that I'm and going up to the turntables Size, Die and Suz) hailed as the originate? very found of. They set a stopping and starting it again, Bristol beat and decade the city has Massive Attack for '97. They've B.C'.l was working down at standard on V that I want to going crazy like Goldie does. fostered a unique made their mark on the Talkin Rhythm king doing club maintain. I'm still looking for He was always saying, I want to musical culture Loud Label with their "Reasons promotions and stuff for the Out other artists but as yet I've not remix it when an album comes the realise of for Sharing EP"and this June of Rhythm label. We'd get loads found anything of the same about. Ray Keith's already done unrivalled by other Reprazent release the New of tapes sent to us from different standard. a remix of Roni's, "Physical", the new eagerly British cities with the Forms album. Krust's first taste producers. Then one day Roni and is an artist on Philly Blunt, exception of of stardom came in 1989 as part and Krust sent in some demos. I Your new V Classics Album our sister label. So really he's awaited of the chart topping Fresh Four, was really on Rhythms back to features a complete cross already part of what's going on. Manchester and then in 1993 he and Roni put it out, but at that time it section of Drum 'n' Bass, breakbeat London. On the role produced the first release on V wasn't really the sort of what were you aiming for ? Krust, how did the Bristol call are Massive Recordings. hardcore sound that was B.G: We're aiming for the collective "Reprazent" come about? album "V Attack and Tricky - K: It was just a name for us to not forgetting get together under a different Classics". Portishead - guise. Jungle was restricted to a 'Bristol just keeps on certain realm, and we're Interview: ambassadors of the producers man. We just wanted West Country sound. to stretch it out, bossing new JO The city virtually forms, not calling it Drum 'n' busting new sounds' Bass or Jungle anymore, or any invented Trip-Hop of the names people want to call PARKINSON. Continuing this musical it. Were just dropping new tradition 1'or the year 2000 happening in the UK. We were whole Drum 'n' Bass market. forms for the year 2000. Words: NICK are the breakbeat 'V label Which came first DJing or putting out stuff like the. This is a serious statement about collective, a London/ producing? •'nominator", and the majors what we are about. Because How do you explain the A'n/.sv: DJing. weren't really down with we've been a very underground amount of talent coming out O'MEALLY Bristol union who bring Brian (>cc: DJing of course. breakbeat. It was still just a label in the past we've had a low of Bristol? out a new album this definitely DJing. baby. So in '93 I took the tapes, on profile. Now it's time to say K: It's because we got the the month. Run by Londoners with me contacted Roni and to everyone this is us... bomb man. simple as that. Brian Gee and Jumpin How when and where did you Krust and things just ran from something for everyone. We're all hard workers and we get into DJing? there. see things a little different with a Jack Frost 'V features the Krust'. It started at school just Why do a new album with all wider scope. To be honest I Bristol beats of Ron! Si/e. hanging out. We were bored and Why the concentration of the new material when your back couldn't really answer that Krust and Die. o, anted 10 do something to Bristol sound on the London catalogue has so many question. Most ol the people The new album, V entertain ourselves. I started based labels? classics? that were big back in the late Clasxiffi, true to the "V collecting records, bough! some B.G: Initially I had no intention B.G: I like to always keep ahead 'SOs liaxen't mo\ed out. So a lot ethos, is a compilation of decks and il just sort of went of creating a label. I just wanted of things. Really we're putting of kids grow ing up can see these different paces, from tearoul from there. the tracks to play as a DJ. But out new tracks for the people people, like Massive Attack, lo fluid ja/./.y rhythms. Kriim (/'<•<: It's a long story after talking to Roni I realised who ha\e always supported the still driving round the sti starting hack when I wits just ili.it a lot of people in Bristol label. I just 'hought this is People :'iink hoy I :an do this, Packed with Dub plates the ng up in the country in were producini: tracks hut didn't something ,licy would want, this is really possible. Before new album features artists Gloucester. Then everyone was have a label. It was just a hobby something new. everyone was wanting to be a from outside of the West on a Reggae vibe. I used to play to them - they were just doing a DJ Now. juts iii be Country including Goklie in .1 rcugac sound system and hit ol skating and tile next day Goldie's on Mchilheadz and a producer. Bristol just keeps on and Ray Keith. IXIing was alua\s a pan of it. knocking out tunes. I couldn't Ray Keith's on Dread/.. Why busting new sounds. Coming up... The return of this Friday (tonight) with Ninja Tunes pulling some high kicks. Not forgetting back on its throne on May 17. Also look out for a collaboration, with a preview night on May 16. 18 music snippets of gospel music may choose lo disa> w nh me. But you can't please everyone. Rare good points include the breaths (EMI) "No. I Crush" by Garbage, and the catchy Cardigans tune t's a soundtrack! "Lovefool". "Little Star" It's a CDRom! by Stina Nordenstam is IWith the film Romeo moody, ethereal, and Juliet recicving outstanding reviews childlike - beautiful, worldwide, you'd basically - but is it really expect the soundtrack worth trawling through to bt much the same. so much dirge for? Even But here's where you'd the contributions by be sadly mistaken. This Mundy, The Wannadies album smells worse than and the usually Godlike the dead Bard himself. Radiohead (below ) far from hit the mark. Those of you with a In short, if this was penchant for dull, the soundtrack to Romeo plodding, "life is cruel" and Juliet's romance. American rock ballads. then it's no wonder they Whitney Houston-esque Single of the Week slow smoochy numbers topped themselves. and cheesy synth sounds Jenny Wood MONACO - Sweet Lips (Polydor) badly mixed with Peter Hook, having been in two of the most morose bands in the world (Joy Division and New Order) is going for common sight of the quirky ubiquitous between-song cabaret, another bite of the cherry by forming Live individual, the bedsit weirdo and but tonight the band just can't be Monaco. And this sounds... eathartie? the genuine music lover. This new bothered. Tunes like "Goodnight" ...depressing?... No'!! This is Take That and "Dead Bird Sings" are trotted - horray! Poptastic single of the week. breed of pan-time ornothologists. Leeds Irish Centre 28.4.97 however, also reflects the gradual out with soundcheck efficiency, JESUS JONES - The Next Big Thing slippage of Babybird's fortunes. bereft of passion and wit. whilst (Food) Once they were New! Daring! the mill stone that is "You're Innovative! - five fantastic albums Gorgeous" even has its ,onight Stephen Jones is performers wincing. Jesus Jones, the original (?) purveyors of in a year, ferchrissakes! Now. That they play it again as a that guitar/dance crossover tiling, return that bloke from sadly, the post-"Your Gorgeous" final, unecessary encore is out of the time capsule dated I WO with Hitchcock's Rear party is all but over. Tempting the symptomatic of this "keep the The Next Big Thing. And yes, nothing's Window. There he sits, leg in die-hard fan with soggy vol-au- punters happy'.mentality that has changed - svvirly \ocals and drums high plaster, doted on by close veilts like "Candy Girl" and the pervaded this once inventive in the miv Ai leasi there's no sixties slightly tastier "Cornershop" just friends, staring out at a strange, to cling on to the Top 20 and the •Bird. guitars or motinvn junk inspiring this, so everyday crowd. The arcane They could do this type of dig out yer baggy flares and hooded top Richard And Judy circuit may be [voyeurism and acid prurience one means of survival. But when show forever, of course. and hear the drummer get wicked. lliiit scalded his early records Thankfully, you get the you have do/ens of hi/arrely impression that they're sick of VELVET JONES - Worrying About replaced by tired, flabby brilliant songs to hand and a pandering to the desires of the observations. naturally gifted frontman to bix>t. mortgaged masses, instead Your Lite (Naked Records) These fall on deal ears, why don't you. like, challenge your potential audience? craving to do something Will the real Velvet Jones please step •though. His admirers, you see. moderately different. Get on with Complacency seems to have it then. Stephen, but do it s COCKPIT til6 QSiTSiQG Every Saturday Swinegate, Leeds. For more info 0113 - 244 3446 19 Juice Friday May 9 1997 What's <|oin«| ii|» anil down in flic juice hot films hit parade? DONNIE .BRASCp i Bad shirt inerna When we were Kings took Director Leon (area /alert. Pacino in a WHEN WE WERE KINGS Cast 23 years to make, BILL MOSTYN went gangster Hick. What could he a ^ more mouih watering prospect.' Check Dir: LEON GAST out the fabulous lashion features. along to see if it really knocked him out, or Stars:SPIKELEE if it was just a tiresome twelve rounds RETURN OF THE JEDI Go on, force yourself. ^W ne n et champion of the world. documentary. racial issues. The leas! classic of 44^ U T i § Oast's film chronicles not Oast's tirelessly worked at the three. I mean. Ewoks The world will be What's thai all ahout'.' \/\ to Africa only an epic encounter between project is a blend of archive T T we're stunned. If you think two of the world's greatest footage and contemporary gonna get it on 'cos we the world was boxing figures, but also looks at commentary, using such well THE SAINT the series of internationally known artists as Spike Lee and I Val Kilmer dons don't get along. I'm surprised when Nixon significant events that The Fugees. The film is ' dodgy disguises. gonna eat him up. I got resigned, wait till I surrounded the fixture. ultimately a celebration of one Unfortunatelj for big too much speed for kick Foreman's Ali,a former world of the world's truly great Y Vallerie he's just not as champion.at 32 was 7 years sporting heroes. Ali never eonl as Roger Moore. C'm him, too fast. I'm behind!" hack to dressing up as a hat older than the present champion, simply looked for a good I is nn advice. gonna retire the Contrary to public George Foreman. Whilst Ali had sporting endorsement deal but heavyweight opinion Muhammad Ali previously beaten Joe Frazier was a figure who was not afraid kept true to his word, narrowly on points. Foreman had to use his profession as a WHEN WE beating George Foreman destroyed him in two rounds. It position from which to voice his WERE seemed to many thai All's genuine, and often KINGS in perhaps the greatest Rumble in fiy^n] downfall was inevitable. The controversially held, opinions. the Jungle, U*i*J and most fight itself had materialised out In 1967 Ali was stripped of i if you missed it first controversially of the wild ambitions of a dodgy his titles, barred from boxing time around. staged fights ex-con, Don and sentenced to five years in I Leon Ciasi pimravs (lie legend Muhammcd Ali prison for refusing to go to | in his fight against the oilier greal man. King,who,promising each fighter ever to take five million dollars gained their Vietnam exclaiming,in typical mmmmm place. signatures. The only thing he did trademark rap: GHOSTS FROM For Leon not have was the money. King, THE PAST Racism in Gast,director of When found a willing contributor in n the war in ^ Mississipi. we \vcrc kin^s. The Zaire's tyrannical leader. Vietnam, I sing this ^ Wh LIAR LIAR | Jim Carey gets i a bit darker. AS YOU LIKE IT Jim Carc\ pla\s "^^ himself, the lace- 11 with lots of humour. The families and lovers united pulling comedian in \ct happily ever after, in another slapstick comedy. Nothing ne« here s result is just Ax you like I then. S YOU LIKE IT it, a highly amusing and traditional comedy style. The use of contemporary )IR:Pollylrvin entertaining play. methods do not over shadow TWIN TOWN The play unravels the tale the traditional origins of the Dark and of two best friends forced by play (watch out for the humourous Ithough being the hostility of their spectacular rap scene in the Welsh flick. forest). Special effects include r SplilV criticised for opposing families to flee into smoking, dog "being the forest. descending sheep, and the I killing, karaoke girl pissing. Watch it "plotless", The magical environment incredible man eating Mary and you'll know what I'm t.liking about. watches three couples embark Poppins bag. Shakespeare's As you upon a rocky journey in their The play ends in true like it, contains the search for ideal love. Typically, showbi/ style, as we are entertained b\ a square dance ROMEO AND JULIET perfect mixture of fate lends a mischievous hand, Americanisation dealing its share of performed to the sound of trip is for once love, illusion and misunderstandings, toying with liop music. acceptable. comedy. the lovers' feelings, thus A perfect conclusion to the Orlando's and Rosalind's refreshing and vibrant in (his modern day adaptation But Family rivalry begins approach which made As \ou \\oill Bill he turning in his gra\ c or the recipe, followed by attachment is temporarily jumping over a cloud about it all'.' hindered by her transvestite like it. a joy to watch. heaps of romance, a pinch disguise. of confusion, combined However, the end sees Lynne Travis arts WILSfN goes back to 1974, to take a look at the original fight, and the boxer that made it all happen Tohn Lcnnon philosophers easily I1allegedly claimed as an uppercut; going that the Beatles against the ^ CHAIN REACTION nilwere bigger than pblishmem )>> Fesus. and if so, the draft, and Video he too is deeply involved in Muhammad Ali can becoming a Muslin, the conspiracy. fie considered greater hnice the chancdof The special effects are ban all of the Fab Despit good, as are a few of the chase Four put together. oken w he is scenes but the rest leaves much E\cn 16 years after f the in os : KEANU REEVES to be desired. The plot, lirement, the rtant people of somewhat confused at limes. urnmnding Ali |ntury. et in the harsh was uninspired and a i:l his legend has not tired Chicago winter, implausible and relied too dimmed a jot. A Chain Reaction sees hea\ ily on props that "just whole generation has the return of Keanu happened to he there"; you do n up without Reeves and Morgan not jump on a motorbike in to see him sub-/ero temperature and find rime, yet Freeman in a new action that it starts up immediately. ne of the adventure. All of you who have seen people A scientific breakthrou: ' Morgan Freeman in such great interesting one . energy research leads to n The climatic se\en minute and a films as .S'/Kiu-.v/Ki/iA: lions. power struggle over the Redemption will wonder what footage of the tight is a truly information. Eddie Kosalivich rousing with All's cunning and ius Clay or he is doing in this: no amount Fought at a (Keanu) and his English of acting from E:reeman or hra\ery coming to the lore. Gast colleague. Lily Sinclair has done a great job in portraying the quality good looks from Keanu can Jghts was (Rachel Wis/). find themselves save this film. a man at his finest hour, and whilst framed for the murder of the the subject matter of this film may od as it ever was iver will be - head scientist and of blowing Eleanor Moerry not directly appeal to all. It is ier, Norton, up the lab. Shannon (Freeman) unlikely that many people will n and a leaner, helps them go into hiding but deny that Gast has :aner Foreman t, 1 \isually assembled wtrv around at the have on to an extremely IK time, but Ali has m wlcdge interesting film ipsed them all. ofth an The film may But many come: i be criticised lot- .portsmen "ill be books ihaga/ines its brief ••nembered for being and documentaries. comment on the he greatest in their With the release of tragic condition of field, but Ali was this film - for Leon Mi's present state. jabout much more gast to battle for 23 Yet perhaps dwelling jthan boxing; he didn't years to bring it to the on his health too much acquire his nickname screen is a tribute in would he to deter from of the greatest just for itself - a new audience someone who.during his life, his fighting ability. can at least get a has presented himself not only He was a black glimpse of Ali in and remarkable boxer, but as an champion in a white out of the ring, and inspirational black figurehead. world, doling out his get an insight into a wisecracking living legend. MICHAEL COLLINS undeveloped and distracting Video character played by Julia POLLY IRVIN: INTERVIEW MICHAEL COLLINS Roberts. However, it is the politics which BOBRAFELSON fascinates most. Forget all the tripe ISYOOLIKflT LYNNE TRAVIS speaks to the director of The West written about how it glorifies violence and the IRA. pillories the IR:Polly Iran Yorkshire Playhouse's production of As You Like It eil Jordan's Biopic of British and generally behaves in a I the man who jolly unsportsmanlike manner. our production of /l.s-you like it Trip Hop music in the play? Directing? . negotiated partition in Forget too any rose-tinted misty- follows the recent trend to While In Bristol. I couldn't ignore the Although Theatre is my love. 1 will eyed nostalgic bunk you may feel exciting music scene at the time and probably one day find my self directing Ireland is both an for the passing of the British Ymodernise Shakespeare's plays. entertaining (if somewhat What influenced your decision to take thought it would appeal to a young film. Empire - this film graphically such a modern approach? audience. I also think it fits the theme of Have yon any other ambitions? over the top) portrait of a displays the violent atrocities and A modern approach was important tor the play, regarding the nature versus I would really like 10 spend some lime charismatic figure and a cruel oppression upon which this industrial and technical revolution working with the director Atlanta Duffy, deeply involving political was built. •:id identification. 1 also it was vital that the comedy aspect aspect. iierested in working out dii statement. Ultimately, this film succeeds reflected the '90s humour. Did The opening night go well on • I working, such as exploring the There is no denying that, because it displays how a Do you think Shakespeare would Saturday? use of theatre design with a more politics aside, this is fast- complicated situation is all too often approve of the attempt to bring his Apart from a tew technical hitclu angle. Generally [just want top/ay with portrayed as a clear cut problem. It theatre production. moving and compelling plays up to date? went fine. entertainment. We may shows how impossible nationalism 1 definitely believe that he would Have you alway s wanted to Direct? What is your favourite food? becomes once the colonising I have always wanted to act. and 1 am Indian food. charitably ignore Liam enemy is removed and the people approve. Shakespeare's pi.•, Neeson's tendency to overact. popular art form of his time. The still an actress. Whilst attending Central What are you reading at the moment? on the other side of the barricades the hd^lcndcrs or Curtnuition Sn Drama school. 1 realised how much I Hinltmiv by Sebastian Faulk. This ties in Alan Rickman's inability to are old friends and allies. A today. enjoyed the whole form of pulling on a with the theme of my next pla substitute his nasal drawl for a fascinating piece of filmic politics. What encouraged your decision to use show. f-~arini'i'\ Hriile. passable Irish accent, and the Do von ever want to venture into film Jesse Griffiths . Something a bit different this week! Solve the clues individually, fitting them into the grid as and when you arc able. I have given you the first letter of each solution. 'Short' solutions are six letters or less, 'long' ones are seven letters or more. Watch out - one solution contains two words and two are hyphenated. Don't give up, it's The first correct entry to the Juice crossword easier than it might seem! Enjoy... competition will scoop a crisp tenner. Bring Previous your completed crossword to the Leeds A. One model in charge of vinegar, (short) Student office, either at LMUSU or LUU, and the 15. Laurel, we hear, gets sound underground growth that's capital, {short) cash prize could be yours. The closing date for C. Monk has tousled Tuscan hair, (long) entries is Monday May 12 I). Heavily baptise medical man in French church, (short) crossword K. Shows First Lady's holding in Cuba. U Until 24 May Ticket Hotline 0113 244 211: Call now for £5 Student Standbys (subiect to ava"abilit Interested in page layout? No experience necessary We'll teach you all you need to know contact Oily on 230 7881 books^ 11 KILLING THE LAWYERS REGINALD HILL HARPER COLLINS [15.99 eginald Hill is usually known as the author of the Dalzicl R and Pascoe books. Sacrificing the successful double act. he moves on to the equally well Golly Ghosh used Private In\ estimator character, the Not many successful novelists are shy. But kind that drives a psychedelic '60s Mini and communicates with his talking to Amitav Ghosh about The Calcutta alcoholic cat. This. then, is no Chromosome, LINDEN THORNTON found one Raymond Chandler novel The dialogue, and more importantly, the plot, seem soft and uninspiring; far too mitav Ghosh is a very nervous man York and 1 think it's just a great city easy to follow. and as someone who usually has It's really exciting to be in and I Based around the usual crime story the intimidating effect of Winnie think what I love most about New coincidences. Joe Sixsmith. for it is he. A York is the language, you know, the becomes involved in the rapid the Pooh, I found this quite exciting. way people talk. I just really en Jos extermination of a group of lawyers. We shook hands, during which time he American speech". who. conveniently enough, are obtained a promise from me that I wouldn't be Ghosh's love for the American refusing to pay up on his most recent asking any difficult questions. The question that language has clearly rubbed off on car-tree meeting scenario. This crime then sprang to mind was that if being a his own as his speech is peppered then links up handily to another case bestselling, prizewinning novelist doesn't give with references to how he 'had a of his. allowing Joe to wrap up the you self-confidence, what would? But I thought blast' and that annoying habit some book Poirot style in the last few pages. this might be a little too forward and might Americans have of making normal Along the way he backs out of a statements sound like questions. promising encounter with a naked reduce Ghosh to a quivering pile of talented jelly. woman; he is far too nice to his not- So I asked about his latest book. The Calcutta Chnnniisome instead. It tells the story of an Egyptian e is firm that suffering-at-all girlfriend. Everyone is computer clerk living in New York, whose work leads he couldn't in their own comfortable existence in a him into unravelling the puzzle of the disappearance in Hlive in the Big land where violence is toned down and Apple forever the toughest character is a Welsh Calcutta of his old colleague, Muragan. Muragan was though: "It's a apron-wearing bodyguard. obsessed by the Nobel-winning malaria scientist wonderful place but There are no hard edges, that is Ronald Ross and so the novel is a tangled web of I'd like logo home chromosomes, computers, and Calcutta. I asked Ghosh apart from the dent in your pocket. In someday". His heart j short this is a quick buck maker, a whether he knew a lot about science or whether he had is firmly in Calcutta shelf filler far below Hill's usual just put a lot of careful research into the novel. This and he goes back standard. was obviously a good move because he seemed to two or three times a , perk up a little bit and even squeezed out a laugh: "I year: "It's made up this whole thing about the Calcutta Jeb Ker-Herman something I Sarah Davis} chromosome hut with the help of this geneticist friend indefinable that I who actually got me interested in microbiology". miss. It's strange he is engrossed in Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's August A kind of 'invent-it-yourself' approach to scientific because there are discovery then? "Three weeks ago 1 got a letter from a 1914 but when asked what book he would like to have many things to do read but hasn't, he giggles with embarrassment and British scientist, a very famous British scientist called with everyday life Ian Wilson, who's one of the leading malaria says "half the library" and then loses even more that you don't confidence and says, "nine-tenths of the library. I'll tell researchers in England, and he wrote to me to say 'I miss at all, like love your book and you'll be astonished to know that you what I'd really like to read: who was it who wrote the traffic, but it's the little things that WuterlanJs''! Yes, I'd like to read Graham Swift's last I've discovered something so like your Calcutta you really miss. Like the smells, and the sounds, and novel [Laxl Oniers]. 1 think he's very gcxxJ." chromosome that I'm actually going to call it the the way that he people talk to each other". That last question seemed just too much for him Calcutta chromosome'". Ghosh quite literally glows Even when living in New York he doesn't feel though and he kxiks drained from the effort of thinking | with pride, or maybe he's just spent too long with the particularly separated from his home, just as when he of a suitable reply so I finally succumb to temptation chemicals in his friend's lab. v\ as young he had a passion for foreign countries even and ask him how he feels about doing interviews. 1 can Science is of course universal, crossing all cultural though he had never been out of India: "To be in a see he briefly considers lying but eventually admits boundaries, and for this reason Ghosh's setting of the particular place is not necessarily to exclude what that given the choice he wouldn't be interviewed, is he novel in both Calcutta and New York seems perfectly happens elsewhere. I was always interested in other publicity shy. I ask? "No, I often just don't know what natural and not at all disjointed. Both these places are countries, other cultures, what happens in other parts to say". Well, who would have guessed'.' familiar to Ghosh as he was bom in Calcutta but has of the world." lived in New York for the past three years: "I love So what does Ghosh like to read when he isn't The Calcutta Chromosome is available from New leading the way for malaria research? At the moment Picador at E15.99 i who played Princess l.eia in an ancestors. I hoped that these remain cocixined in their lograpny obscure forgettable film by George would come to represent the lost inadequate and artificial Lucas); and one unexplained culture and traditions of the pre- home, the novel explores in an almost dreamlike fashion sentence on the part of the author. Communist world which were THE ORDINARY SEAMAN SIMON AND GARFUNKEL THE DEFINITIVE BIOGRAPHY 'Just above the bow-tie, a tiny plaster THE LOST squashed and erased both through their developing relationships, and the emerging realisations indicates a little cut. so near to the the collectivism and the fierce FRANCISCO GOLDMAN VICTORIA WSSTON JONATHAN AYCUFfE of their convergent jugular vein", she whispers, regimes. The ending was not FABER FICTION E15.99 PAN £5.99 describing Art Garfunkel's sleeve HAPRERCOLUNSE4.99 what I wanted or expected: it did backgrounds and thought photo for his fifth solo album not fit what I thought was the patterns. Each sailor's he striking cover memory is tinged with n- Simon and Garfunkel the .SV/wir.v Cm. Yet Kingston's actually have some point, but one can't win 'cm all. 1960s was no acid-tripping biography doesn't pry ux> far into What the ending 1)11) do was put image, depicting a sadness, united by thoughts of Transylavanian cousins, so lost Knes and fading hopes. ravelling groupie continual sock drawers and mainly bases itself when I saw the sleeve of this the finishing touch to an Thuge moored boat E towering over three .As much as anything else. around interviews with the pair. I incredible reinterpretation of the after-show orgy, but periods of book I was intrigued. Instead of high creativity separated by film Kingston tells the story from a fan's much-exhausted horror silhouetted figures, it's a novel about the usual tacky, cliched storytelling. As the projects (The Graduate. Annie perspective, simply, without soaking plot line for a horror genre. Half of the book is lost and staring out Hall, Catch 22), holidays, the book in overweighted detail, set in Bucharest dealing to sea, is an effecth e men swap stories, book, there was realism. these in turn marriages and failed relationships. commenting on the meanings behind The protagonist. with papers: there is a evocation of this, Some interesting information: Paul Simon's lyrics backdrop of the grim and Goldman's second interweave with the Michael Feraru, travels narrative in a both took acid once: Paul Simon This book cries out for the lyrics to Romania to reclaim Ton/iTH/in grey reality of novel. married and then divorced Carrie to be included. MI addition to the Ceaucescu's rule and the F.slehan. the multitude of voices his ancestral castle deep and de\ ices, the , . Fisher . discography (though maybe not in the Carpathians. chaos and exploitation eponymous sailor, is ^\ all 167 of them) and your thai lias replaced him. one of 15 men leaving apparent lack of a This sounds like the cohesive direction parents' records stacked next usual schlock already, but This is a revisionist book, war-stricken to the stereo. If I was a cynic- set \er> firmly in the Nicaragua for symbolising the instead of deciding to unrelenting then I would call Art settle into an outdated twentieth century we Brooklyn to crew the Garfunkel nothing more than know, be it through news and ship Urus, which is found to uncertainty of their situation. aristocratic lifestyle, seducing lots It's this mixture ot narrative a glorified hacking singer. If I of sultry beauties, he intends to documentaries or otherwise. be an unusable wreck on was a hopeless romantic then From what I ha\e heard, he is not arrival. As the men become and diversive ahstact thought convert his castle into an that gives the novel its I would call "Bridge over orphanage. Trying to reclaim his far from the truth. effectively prisoners of the Troubled Water" the greatest Aycliffe has succeeded in ship, unable to return home. strength, offering a vivid castle is a hell of post-Communist depiction of humanity song in the world... ever. But bureaucracy refleciing the true giving the Gothic novel the new the conflict between their you can't name a better blood it needed. He has proved romantic ideals and the reality surviving in the most state of affairs in that country. desperate ot circumstances. musical double act. From the When I saw on the back of the this genre can never die. of exploitation that the low- 1960s. skilled immigrant workers bix)k that his castle would be Robin Parker Leo Hutsky found to contain the spirits of his Will Paton face is given full rein. As they 23 oes oliticians? To be honest, 13 HERBAL s bananas^ HIGHLIGHT The West Yorkshire Post have tried to ban it. The West Yorkshire Police launched an investigation into it. They HOW TO SMOKE CRYSTAL regularly call John Major a "cunt." Why haven't you started "i METH WITH DJ KEOKI HIM (.All Kl that reading HERB GARDEN magazine yet? CHRIS MOONEY meets the man cd all (lie fuss. Obviously a piss lake, with behind it all. li;>s -in li .is •'aimninl pla.. ed in liglit liiilh will dclcimine hmv eiinled \uu ;.vi" am) m in front of the editor of '70s: "They provided not only an way. Things that happen in drug culture '.lllC'l S/llC:' ' II 01 unorthodox mode of transport hut also are./ii/i/iy. and we jus< talk about that. The only marginally more expensive than even one uill HOIK, ^he Herb Garden, David introduced girls to delights that could be shoplifting"). It's the part of the magazine way we work is 'fuck it. everyrxxJy's /Mill I i/l " .ill. a man derided as found through holding something by the thinking something, why don't we just that Gill seems most proud of: "Yeah. I rllic/csv I lie papers 'evil" and "sick" by such ears and bouncing up and down on it." say it'.'' Like a cheeky little kid telling his like that, we're Private i.\e for people l.iilfd In ,ce llie |i4,e ami uminaries as Tory (ex) They do interview hands and review mum to fuck off. Like with that Keoki who don't give a shit about politics. I issued di/r .ilxnii don't have anything to say about MPs and "sensible" regional records, hut in the Iwsesl possible sense. thing (see rii;lit). It was a piss-take, things 'Im" ii/'' , . __ I Interviews with Oasis and Robbie mainstream politicians.They're all like 'don't put the light-bulb in your back- newspapers. It's a terrifying Williams that were trumpeted from the pocket or you won't be able to en joy anal cunts." moment. This is his first David Gill's creation has also TOP 5 FUCKWITS BUZZ front cover became tales of getting pissed sex.' Where can you buy meth- CHART interview. The shadowy figure in Dublin and bumping into Robbie in a amphetamine in Ixeds anyway? Do you emerged as a far more effective media 2 trainer shop for a few minutes. All of want to stav awake for five days? I watchdog than anything the behind Leeds' sole voice of government can boast Successive reason takes a long, hard, hit off which are easily as entertaining as any fucking don't." 'I IU: III Kit Mini' .i/nnii(l •. alums ||. NME pseudo-fawning. The band Fluke You don't think it's irresponsible. pullouts have shown up Select (Ilk! ll)C IIIOM di"./>CMll' tiling ll... his crack pipe and sweeps away reviewed the singles once, but graded then? ("Sellout"), Melody Maker. The Face June tin dial elusive high ll fou tho the empty beer cans and porn their excellence on their weight and the etc. for the corporate puppets that they Mlli^.m;.' l).i/ian;j '.l-ins W8f> sail ""I magazines that litter his dimly- width of the holes in the middle. I at all. We've got to accept are. and the internal workings of the >ue hlnl.e necked music industry are regularly given a • •I lior-liJi .mil v as found foden. The dilated, bloodshot This isn't to say that the writing is sell drugs are a part of life. Like a till i.. reverential or full of in-jokes. Indeed, a with Leah Belts. Her parents thorough going over. eyes of a man whose As with anything that begins life i;ii lii llie niilli-/ '.-. Ini lil-.ed ii. .mil .1 In' couple of writers have gone onto went around, created a media circus, and On,- il.iv In- L'Ol H mechanism's gone slowly swivel great! ish) things, despite being involved we all thought 'what a bunch of fucking as a fanzine, to many they've "sold Ji dissolved mind and fix me in an evil with such a dodgy operation. Dean cunts, their daughter's died from ecstacy. out" now that the maga/ine costs stan, before he realises a Cavanagh has got an eagerly awaited (hey 're going to create a big moral £2.50 and isn't printed on recycled novel out six>n after hav ing a mad short backlash now it's affecting white middle bog-roll any more. It's lixiking pretty satttr-gun of invective wiping story published in Sara Champion's class people.' But they didn't, they flashy these dav s. a far cry from the nut: that stands in his way. Or much-hyped Disco Biscuits about an realised it was all about education and early issues when half the articles doeste? Sometimes the truth is aeroplane lannoy playing drum'n'husv telling people what the choices are. And would finish halfway through and stumer than fiction... Muff Fit/gerald has landed the ultimate her dad was a copper as w ell." the rest just didn't make sense. job. press manager of the Spice Girls (or "Papers like The Sun are despicable Have they sold out? Gill's reply to Mii'rh (ianlt'n began life as a that is the only sensible one: "Who duties' ian/ine. but it's become gives a shit'.'" But the magazine's .-h more. It's a change that not perfect, ll takes th, .•in - clubbing ain't what it reader about ten minutes to read iisdnbe. The mild-mannered man the whole thing for a start. You can work your vv ay from cover to in front of me begins his cover, reach the end and think "have 1 missed something here'.'" we started off coming out of The new issue seems to have lost "IK.\«o\|. jKtojIturc. hut it doesn't really have that carefree attitude that allowed low. Well, it never did, hut it From ha te the whoie them to open an article on the tep. e people I was into. About five Jamie Bulger case with an image : started getting silly. people of Mary Whitehousc "splay- •, liite gloves and that, so we legged frigging herself silly." hat the tuck's going on here' The interview with The Orb a tnaga/ine. But now clubbing actually contains questions and ... xii ate business. The raver's don't so I'm told). people. They ruin people's lives with drug answers for God's sake. But for revelations, hut in my job you meet a lot . more, "cos we don't mention But you can't mention The Herb those moments when you can Sjtond we're not [heavily sarcastic] Garden without talking about the menace of people in the media and they're all just about make out your hands H11.AK10I Sn II KO-SCM'J/f i, u ol the (Oil ad underground. We're not a part of that is sweeping our nation. No. not The fucking at it. Everyone's doing Charlie - in front of your face, it's still visiiiii" su;>j)u/t. Scotland's > IKI/I even when they're writing stones about culture' anymore." Spice Girls. DRUGS. The cover of issue the only thing to (try and) 15 was a list: "Cocaine. Speed. Heroin. someone getting done for cocaine, they're anaemic ginger minxes ami a couple nf skirt- Htbreaking point came when the read. chasing nosebags in sea/vli nf .1 fame plan. I jdBsne ditched its club listings under Trips. Ecstacy. Amyl." On the cover of all coked out of their heads writing it." If you believe all the hype you'd think do/i'i thi/ik so. " Swiss fans li'.M III inline "DJs; TAKING THE issue 20 was proudly plastered a cannabis ut this whole article is a The Herb Garden was little more than "My ualcli ha* stopped " Appeal aiici . FtfKNG PISS." Under a revolutionary cookbook. We've had fond reminiscences dry. festering piece of drugs and swearing In fact, it is probably Bulgarian lans: ' I ('ocker v, iilmut the jBJfeto the mag set out their demands, of poppers nightmares and DMT trips. academia compared to irony." Mosi popular Romanian ch.n idling "the symbolic destruction of And much, much, more. Is it any wonder the only piece of hard-hitting satire that B the slurred growl that you get we have. From its humble beginnings as a "f aucescu is a vva/lker. VVe Wanl our !' Healy's record box." Noble the sensation-seeking Yorkshire Evening from The Herb Garden. It's hack.' I '< place for clubbing anecdotes, it has . but you couldn't help feeling Post Uxik notice? To the man in charge spelt right for a start. Next become a true indignant voice of the unly because they couldn't be it's just more evidence of the hypocrisy of time you see that garish people, a Morning Star for the morning j to type out the club listings our once-great nation: cover promising "crap for 22 REASONS WHY ELVIS >uple of months. But Gill says he "The papers rang up and and said after. National institutions as esteemed as 5 WAS JESUS the lottery (or "wankalottery") and the people that can't reasons: 'we're doing a story on you.' I had a half- read"or'"yoof •] never cared for that part of the hour conversation about it, and I asked Criminal Justice Bill have received a I'fHK \IO.S"/ i/ispii.iliiinal ami Inlan good kicking. There's been an incredibly cultuer for the jjjjazme anyway. No-one's gonna read her why what I was doing was any misspelt youth" 'piece ever s'./nien Wfioeu'i vu'oie (his must l^plor clubs in The Herb Garden. If different from anyone else. I mean. Pulp detailed scientific breakdown of how to 1 dodge compulsory drug testing, including then dive in. And •no u/> a luiii lime ayo and never riteed to read a magazine to know Fiction made heroin Icxik really fucking despite come hiick dow/i. "lexus said 'l.n legal advice among more prosaic tips jjfl-to go out, then you're a sad fucker sexy, when Travolta's oft his head on that everything, Gill neighbour/l:'!us said 'Don't he s fine china-white it looked fucking ("don't use cow's piss. It doesn't work.") us lived in a sl.ilcol ai)» >" ,_ Alice Nutter, lead singer with Leeds is still happy fgt the maga/ine does do is provide amazing. That gets a fucking Oscar, that. with life: • e in a Varf-.astern land/ anarchy/crusty type band a0joni collection spot-on ramblings on That'll be reviewed in the Yorkshire I'ost "Yeah, if you i. ela/ld in a Chumbawaniha, has broken down the jlu life of boozers, losers and substance film section. looked at neaily Eastern is '••- ways Thatcher's underclass end up • > holds are barred in the "We never say 'drugs are cool and everyone's bad side, resurrected //-.hi>- hail in ol shopping in Nettos and all those other (;HIII>"S 'dx iornehack special. jis*» °ur lives - a quick example look at us.' We just reflect everyday life you'd hate every cunt." ^popularity ol space-hoppers in the for a lot of people in an open and honest desperate bargain bins ("IcxxJ in Nettos is nest, they're all cunts' David Gill, The Herb Garden editor 25 Friday May 9 1997 MATT 3ARRBTT GIUGIMSWKP/ WOOHOO! THINK Gi-UG! .,,.,„, VOU CftN OUT GLU6/ PRINK 5LVRP.'f? 6H? /WT 37 HOMCR introweek 97 LEEDS UNIVERSITY UNION ACCESS FUND Deputy & Assistant Organisers If you are reaching the end 10, 6, 4 & 2 week positions available of the academic year and working up to and including Introweek. Salary will be £3.55 per hour based on a 36.5 hour week are experiencing severe financial difficulties, then If you think you can help apply to Leeds University co-ordinate and organise Leeds University Unions Introweek Union's access fund. programme over the summer then Further details and application pick up an application form at the forms are available from the Porters Information Point from 6th Welfare Services Office, May and hand in to the Exec Office 1st floor union building. by 12pm on 14th May 1997. Access funds are only available to full time home UK students on undergraduate or postgraduate programmes of study. 26 Monday Thursday YOUR INDISPENSABLE GUIDE TO WHAT'S ON THE BOX AND IN LEEDS DEMI-DETACHED: Moore refuses to give up the Ghost when her dead husband looks as fresh as a Swayze in the American take on Truly Deeply Madly them is the sudden placing of Naked Gun 2'/2: The Smell of P.I. (Hoskins) to try and track Sliiineml. however, is that vision Mrs Bruee Willis on the FearfBBCI. Sunday, 8pm). down his true identity. you're more likely to reach the Hollywood A-list- a position Interestingly enough. David's The way his left open, of 'bullshit' conclusion than you which she thankfully lost with mov ie contains a 'hilarous' course, for many tw ists, turns are with The L 'sual Suspects or FILMS ON THE BOX lal vcar's atrocious Mriptt'iiM' parody of a scene from .lei shocks and red herrings, and \n<;t'/ Heart. : Oh. by the way. did you Like all her other films, this in which •rubber-laced while this is no l Mtal Su.-* one serves only lo display her funnyman' Leslie Nielsen and or .\;i«c/ Heart, it has one of hear'.' Labour won the general SHOWING THIS WEEK election. There. 1 think that distinct lack of charm, emotion that-woman-who-was-married- tluisc endings. You tied in well enough. or acting ability With Moore to-Elvis send-up Sway/e and know, the s we step boldly starring opposite Patrick Moore's clay pot-making unsettling kind _ — forth into a Sway/c. who plays her antics. A touch of sibling which usually Bright New era recently deceased husband, rivalry, perhaps'.' ellicits a gap of A you can almost see the sawdust Maybe so. hut the end result incredulity, a )Hf%* ANOTHER NICE LES: for this once 11} as plywood meets isn't all that funny. rapid Nielsen returns in The impoverished and chipboard in the Clash of the This cop caper sequel does reinterpretation Naked Gun sequel dilapidated nation, as a Wooden tops. little more than retread the of the plot, and New Government takes It's no wonder, really, that same, custard pie-splattered then a lengthy Whoopi Goldberg's ground covered by the the first debate on wether the reins and prepares it's bullshit or to lead us to the light at performance as the wise-ass •'ite the presence of H-lister a steamroller, the schedulers ii an Tom Berenger and ph BBC1, Sunday, 8pm relaxed a little. irritating kn bolherer Boh Hoskins. this Con ' thai Wha \\olgang Petersen my I >emi Moore woman thrust in our 1 ir of Ghnst 1 s>.3()pm> is to blame .1 his Shattered thin :p up the th. Flavour of the Daymay 9 The Beautiful Ones @ Le Phono guide At last, a straight down the line, no-kiddin- to be pretty damn cute to go to this club, so me-sister indie club. The name kind of gives big beered up boys may as well stay at the game away, what with it being the title of Stomp where they belong (no offence, a Suede song and everything - which of mind). II cinema course suggests glamour, glitz, boys in Admission is in the region of £3, depending Hyde Park Picture House (tel. Odeon (tel.2436230) make-up, girls in mini-skirts smoking Silk on when you arrive and whether you've 27521)45) Sorry, films and times still to be Basquiut: 7. Lounge (td.2751()61) 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Supermarket 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The Big Liai. Liar. 6.00. S.KKun 5..W. 7.40 BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News; 7.30 Sweep followed by ITN News Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; 9.30 FILM: Those Were The Days (1934); 10.55 Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Style Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles; Headlines; 9.55 Calendar News: Yellow Shoes; 11.00 The Sacred Way; Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; 10.30 7.55 Young People's Specials: Weather; 10.00 The Time... The 12.00 Garden Party; 12.30 Light Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 Just Another Stupid Kid; 8.20 Place; 10.30 This Morning; 12.20 Lunch; 1.30 Pat And Mike: The clubs News; Regional News; Weather; Adventures Of The Garden Calendar News: Weather; 12.30 Quickset Hedge; 1.40 FILM: The 11.05 The Great Escape; 11.35 Fairies; 8.25 Tales Of The Tooth ITN Lunchtime News: Weather; Rains Of Ranchipur (1955); 3.00 Club Mcx Free before 11pm. £1 alter. Fairies; 8.35 The Racoons; 9.00 12.55 Home And Away; 1.25 Moving People 4.00 Fifteen To One Change That; 12.00 News; 4.30 Countdown ,An./re., slainin' dium i*c base tonight Schools; 12.30 Working Lunch; Emmerdale; 1.55 A Country with Junipiii Jack Frost, plus residents Nate Regional News; Weather; 12.05 5.00 Ricki Lake M.IICUS. Ricky Blii/e and MCs Ash and Casino, Lee Wright. Greg Robinson Call My Bluff; 12.35 Good Living; 1.00 Job Bank; 1.10 Job Bank; Practice; 2.20 High Road; 2.50 5.30 Pet Rescue Vci'sc, plus Audio Traffic. Our Man and Scott Harris, playing garage, funky Shortland Street; 3.20 ITN News 1.00 One O'Clock News: 1.20 Developing World; 1.45 6.00 TFI Friday Flint and Roh Purses in the funk house and disco. Headlines; 3.25 Calendar News; 7.00 Channel 4 News: Weather deportment. I0pm-3am. £7 members, £9 guests. Weather; 1.35 Regional News Words And Pictures; 2.00 I0pm-3am. £(> / O 3.30 Rosie And Jim; 3.40 Slim 7.50 Book Choice Special - A And Weather; 1.40 The Weather Adventures Of The Garden Planet Earth Pig; 3.50 Warner Brothers Festival Of Commonwealth The Cockpit Pup (lues The Planet two rooms ol Show; 1.45 Neighbours; 2.10 Fairies; 2.05 Tales Of The Tooth Literature Hrii'lii,'!! Beach, 60s Modernism meets lion and dunce. 9pm-2am £2 with flyer Cartoon; 4.00 The Treacle before 11.15pm, £3.50 after Quincy; 2.55 Through The Fairies 8.00 Garden Party. the best of the 'His with live band The People; 4.15 Where's Wally?; 8.30 Brookside. Real People. Watch out tor their radio Keyhole; 3.20 A Perfect 2.10 International Golf show on Isr. Plus scratchy garage and Town and Country Club 6.00 The Simpsons 4.40 Crazy Cottage 9.00 Caroline In The City. sweet soul in the little room. Love Train. Legendary 70s disco, with Arrangement; 3.30 Mouse And 5.10 Home And Away 9.30 Spin City. 10.00 Brutus Gold. I0pm-2.30arn, Co 6.20 Star Trek I lpm-4am. l.s Mole; 3.35 Playdays; 3.55 Bodger 5.40 ITN Early Evening News: Frasier. 7.10 Great Railway Journeys 10.30 Phil Kay Feels... The Hyde Park Club. Ash Grove. The Underground And Badger; 4.10 Ace Ventura: Weekend Weather The Cooker. Funky beat/ & breaks 8.00 A Golfer's Travels With Entertaining. UV/i'/r //'v Al. nice and cheap place to Pet Detective; 4.35 Clarissa 5.55 Calendar News And yo before you hit the town. with the Dig! Family, plus a guest spot Peter Alliss. Peter Alliss 11.05 Eurotrash 8- llpm, ll incmhersliip from kine of the 45s'. Steve Funky Explains It All; 5.00 Newsround; Weather visits Oahu, famous for 11.35 TFI Friday Stuff igpm-2am, £5. tel. 2302 11'3 tor 5.10 Blue Peter 6.30 Tonight 12.05 Robin Le Phonographiquc more inlo. Pearl Harbour. Tlir Rraiiiiful Om-s. indie night, 5.35 Neighbours 7.00 Lucky Numbers 12.40 FILM: The Last Wave (1977) 8.30 Gardeners' World. playing all you're faumred tunes. Free The Warehouse 6.00 Six O'Clock News: 7.30 Coronation Street 2.40 FILM: The Shout (1978). Alan Dottle of Pils before 11 pm. See today's Up Yer Rttnsttn, with Jereinv Healy am 9.00 Rab C Nesbitt. Rab is Bates stars in this off-beat tale Flavour of the Dd\. guests. 9.30pm-3arn, £8 / £10 Weather 8.00 The Bill reunited with his long-lost about a man who has the I0pm-2am.£3/#t 6.30 Regional News 8.30 See You Friday. First of a power to kill with a shout. The Fruit Cupboard brother, Gash Senior, when LMTJSU Passim,, with DJ Bobby. £5 /£6, Magazines new romantic comedy he visits his father's grave Siont/j. Indie. & grunge-test, plus I0.30pnv2.30am 7.00 Weekend Watchdog. The series about a couple who retro sounds in the room (hey call Cafe on the thirtieth anniversary Urppa rescue team fly off the live 250 miles apart. Pop. 0/£3.50 of his death. 9.00 The Grand. Channel 5 Spice of Life, in association with Kiss Caribbean to save another I.UU Harvey Milk Bar 105 and UYR, tonight with Paul 9.30 Sunnyside Farm. 10.00 News At Ten: Weekend .$'/?;«'. tequila night playing mainstream Taylor. Jay Smith and Malcolm Dolly family from holiday misery. 10.00 Have I Got News For You. Weather motown.yOs disco plus the best of Dale. IOpm-4am,£3/£5 7.30 Top Of The Pops 6.00 5 News Early; 7.30 Havakazoo, contemporary pop. With guest Christine 10.30 Calendar News: Weather followed by 5 News Update; 8.00 8.00 Porridge. Fletch meets a Hamilton. 10.40 FILM: The Haunted Adventures Of The Bush Patrol; 8.30 man who has been in 10.30 Newsnight (1991). WideWorld, followed by 5 News prison for 17 years for a 11.15 Space: Above And 12.35 Bonkers! Followed by ITN Update; 9.00 Espresso, followed by 5 gigs crime he always claimed News Update; 10.00 Exclusive; 10.30 Beyond. News Headlines Nancy Lam, followed by 5 News he didn't commit. 12.00 This Life 1.25 Club Nation Update; 11.00 Leeza; 11.50 Double The Cockpit 8.30 A Question Of Sport 12.45 Close Up On Hitchcock 2.25 Cyber.Cafe Espresso, followed by 5 News Update Real People (playing at Brighton Beach). I Ipm,£5 9.00 Nine O'Clock News: 12.55 FILM: Mr And Mrs Smith 3.00 Dating The Enemy 12.00 The Bold And The Beautiful; 12.30 Family Affairs; 1.00 5 News Regional News: Weather (1941). 3.50 Stand And Deliver Duchess Update; 1.05 Sunset Beach; 2.00 5's 9.30 FILM: Ghost (1990). 4.50 Nite Bites Stereophonies + Sn;itch 2.30 Close Company; 3.30 FILM: The Young Romantic fantasy thriller in 5.00 ITV Sport Classics Ones (1962) Civic Theatre which a man killed by a 5.30 100% Lamas mugger returns as his 6.00 Whittle young wife's ghostly LSRW7.8FM 6.30 Family Affairs. Jack is embarrassed in front of Maria. guardian. Starring Patrick 7.00 Exclusive Swayze, Demi Moore and 8am The Unite awakening 620pm It's ObYtOUS tieantkJub warms 7.30 Wildlife SOS. theatre Whoopi Goldberg. Warn The latin Section s&a samba, youLpforttev&ekend. Wffi Ofs Crash & 8.00 Attractions 11.30 FILM: Black Rainbow soca&boog&oowifigucslDfs am 8.30 5 News including First On Five West Yorkshire Playhouse (1989). Starring Rosanna 12am The Umchtime Cafe sponsor fPOlCaSlm soul. dEco and fit* 9.00 FILM: Trade Off (1995). I.The Wasp Faeion ; ground-breaking Arquette and Jason 9pm Doubters Fritter HanlstepB&k 10.50 Exclusive Extra multi-mettia production of the cult Robards. 1pm PUISmtta he s doing his own twig' to Basiscs'ctum & bass resident sorts ioul 11.00 The Jack Docherty Show. classic novel by lain Banks 11.40 Club Class 2. As You Like It 1.10 FILM: The Bride Of 4pm Mite Mart l^bop&bKaktiKt!, IJP/O Mefggtrance & techno vjifi Leeds' ownMega&g 12.10 News And Sport Frankenstein (1935). 60m Clttll Soda Oarce muse magazine 2am Dam Hf/ttersontitra house 12.15 FILM: The Myth of the Male Civic Theatre Starring Boris Karloff. Orgasm (1993) I-'iddleron the Roof ohrn& bass art more.. 2.25 Weather sponsored by Carpus Travel 2.00 FILM: Red River (1988). 2.30 Close 4amBecca& Sarah -chid jazz' 3.35 FILM: Appointment in Honduras (1953). 4.40 Prisoner Cell Block H. Htlltdi You lend to live moment Capricorn: so no* You have more Life is roses to moment, but that just won't do you regret it. Well you would than unc person in love v\ iih you and chocolates at the moment any longer. If you let slip the after the affair wouldn't you. at the moment. Unfortunately hut pride comes before a full. summer, you may let slip a great Still as a new government daw ns this is of little relevance to you. Stop looking at everything remember that things can only holiday. Yet there is no reason lor Instead you are attempting to through rose tinted glasses get better, and that things in the work yourself into the ground in you to not act spontaneously. Spice near past become things in the because life is not like that. It things up a little. far past. order to gain a hit of headway is altogether darker. on evervone else, (iood luek. Cancer: YOU have SAGITTARIUS: Moaning at every been so \ery generous little incident thai doesn't go your way is no Taurus: recently both with your lime way to behave. It may drag down your were warned you and your money, and should popularity. However, if you buck up a hit, you know. They got to feel satisfied with yourself. could have people falling at your feet, and you before you got Your lo\ing nature is even handing you bouquets of flowers. Well to them bin all is not reflected in what vou do. 3TARSIGNS okay, that's pushing it but you might get a free lost. You can Libra; o; Scorpio: meal. Recent hard work pays off. salvage your dignity and your relationship if you O)k you've learned tthe hard way try very hard. Oh and try paying those bills. And casual sex could ha\e adverse effects this week. that you can't always get what you i i want. Life seems particularly painful this week. Also someone, or jL/EOl You do need some time is it everyone is getting on your alone to work out exactly what you think about nerves. Ignore them, live your own what people are telling you. The truth always life, and sort out your love life. shines through, and you are not entirely happy. 28 may 10 Flavour of the Day guide Kenickie @ The Cockpit Kcnickie. those unfeasablj MHIIIU. lalcnied urinaies. Another uirl is fascinated In it ami and intelligent kitls from Sunderland, are \\ ants a «o on it. The tu o skirls boiul pla\ ins; at The ('oekpil loniszhi lo promote instantly, and a decade later form a hand cinema llu-n em-rent single M^lnlijt'. uhieh is taken uliich laughs in the face ol'cusual-uear. and ll\dc Park Picture House (tel. Odeon (tel.2436230) from the neu album ,\i the C/nh. ihc\ call it Kenickie. The\ \\rite pop-punk 2752045) SIMTX. Minis .mil times still lo ho For those of >oti neu lo the band, here's yems (like Conn- Out 2-nite), bo\s lo\e B;iM|Ui;il: 7.On confirmed a( lime ol ^OMIL: to what \ou need to kno\\ : I'mleipouiul: 11.15 press. I'all cinema I'm details. them, girls are jealous of them, their gigs are I he uirls met in the pl;i\ Around of a coinent a scream and if \ou miss them tonight \ou AK( (lei. 2452665) Slum tiisiMli'1. 01924 4206221 sehool in SLiiulerland in the earlx S()\. One will be k(en licking yourself dlolt!). ('mm' I'livnuin (iliost D|'the Past. Anaconda, s;irl has a doll. \\ Ineh at the touch of a button You know what to do. Kenickiei it started with 7.00 Harry And The Hendersons; 6.20 Open University: 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Mashed: 11.00 5.35 Terrytoons; 5.40 Sesame l.oun«e(tel.275KI61) 7.25 News: Weather; 7.30 Felix Liar, I .Kir. 6.00. S.Kl Discovering 16th-century The Chart Show; 11.45 F1: Street; 6.40 Miraculous Mellops; The Cat; 7.45 Babar; 8.10 Albert Strasbourg; 6.45 Elements Monaco Grand Prix - Qualifying; 7.05 Sonic The Hedgehog; 7.35 The 5th Musketeer; 8.35 The Organised - the Periodic 1.15 ITN News: Weather; 1.20 Creepy Crawlers; 8.00 Transworld Sport; 9.00 The Morning Line; 10.00 Flintstones; 9.00 Phantom 2040; Table; 7.10 From Public to Calendar News and Weather; 9.20 The Incredible Hulk; 9.45 Gazzetta Football Italia; 11.00 NBA clubs Private. 1.25 Airwolf; 2.20 FILM: You 24/7; 12.00 Rawhide; 1.00 FILM: 23 Grange Hill; 10.15 Sweet Valley 8.00 Open Saturday Know What Sailors Are (1954) Paces To Baker Street (1956); 2.55 After Dark, Miirlry L: \1 S/l-Kci. t '..->() others hehne High; 10.40 The O Zone: 11.00 10.30 MenZone 3.55 SeaQuest DSV FILM: The House On 92nd Street T/K Oihii. brilliant leehno event with I 1 .'llpm. 15 alter. FILM: The Legend of Grizzly 10.35 Top Gear 4.50 ITN News: Sports (1945) Knherl Armani and Colin Dale. Adams (1990). : 12.12 Weather Results: Weather 4.30 Blind Love Kpm-2am. h'ree eoaeh lea\es horn Town & Country 11.05 The Big Deal 4.35 Running Wild. I'niu'isily Parkinson Steps at S 'Opm Sin-ted f'"' Siiuifilin- (incorporating 12.15 Grandstand. With Steve 5.05 Calendar News And Rider and Ray Stubbs. 11.40 Hancock's Half Hour 5.05 Brookside Omnibus £10, Info, tel. 2528202. I'ulii, c i'/ /-inn. nitrhl ol SOs and s>0s 12.10 The Sky At Night Weather 6.30 Right To Reply fun. lOpm -2 ..'Dam. L'7. Uhwilh I'Kci. 12.20 Football Focus; 1.00 5.10 Scoreline 7.00 A Week In Politics, With Club MIA £5 concessions (in ad\ancc 12.55 FILM: Under Capricorn News; 1.05 The Badminton 5.20 F1: Monaco Grand Prix News and Weather. HiJ APPFROM 3PMY UNTI HOUL 5PM _ „ R BITTER, LAGER, CIDER, OK SCREEN WHITE ROM, GIN, ARCHERS, MALIBU, MONDAY, TUESDAY AND THURSDAY 9PM - ioPM S 95pAPINT! SATELLITETV ( NON - EVENT NIGHTS ONLY ) 29 may 11 Flavour of the Day Embrace @ The Cockpit In the second night of a top live music Oasis, mainly because both bands feature guide weekend from The Cockpit come Embrace, brothers on lead vocals and guitar. In who are currently the hottest new band in Embrace the names to look out for are Danny Britain and what's really amazing is that they McNamara (vocals) and Richard McNamara are from Leeds (or at least, the Leeds area). (guitar). They also share a pretty similar wall- cinema They have only played around a dozen gigs of-sound sound. H yet have already developed a sound that is as Hyde Park Picture House (tel. Odeon (tel.2436230) So, finally, Leeds can forget the Sisters of 2752045) Sorry, films and times still to be all encompassing as their name, plus a Mercy, the Utah Saints, and, er, Cud, and put Basquiat: 7.00, 9.00 confirmed at time of going to prestigious support slot at the Manic's its collective faith in a band that looks set to Breaking the Waves; 3.00 press. Call cinema for details. Three quaters of the best new band i forthcoming stadium gig. give the Mane's a run for their money. Britain (maybe) Comparisons have already been drawn with ABC (tel. 2452665) Showcase (tel. 01924 420622) Now Leeds has got all the best tunes. Crying Freeman Ghost of the Past. Anaconda, Liar, Liar Crying freeman. Space Jam. Liar Return of the Jedi Liar, Donnie Brasco, Scream, Empire Strikes Back Metro, Return of the Jedi, It Takes BBC 2 ITV Channel 4 Two, Romeo and Juliet, Star Wars, Cottage Road (tel. 2751606) Dante's Peak, The Saint, Empire The English Patient; 4.30, 7.30 Strikes Back, The English Patient 7.20 Dilly The Dinosaur; 7.25 6.10 Open University; 7.25 The 6.00 GMTV; 8.00 Tom And Jerry 5.40 NBA 24/7; 6.40 Terrytoons; Harriet the Spy; 2.30 Teletubbies; 8.05 The Pink Business Cafe; 8.15 The Kids; 8.25 Disney's Roadhog; 6.45 Miraculous Mellops; 7.10 Panther Show; 8.30 News: Computer Show; 8.30 Stay 9.25 Twinkle The Dream Being; Madeline; 7.35 The Neverending Lounge (tel.2751061) Weather: Breakfast With Frost; Tooned!; 9.05 The Magical 9.40 Captain Simian And The Story; 8.05 Doug; 8.20 Aaahh!!! Real Liar, Liar; 5.30, 7.40 9.30 Discovering Eve; 9.45 First Adventures of Quasimodo; 9.30 Space Monkeys; 10.05 Morning Monsters; 8.50 Saved By The Bell; Light; 10.15 See Hear!; 10.45 Fully Booked; 12.00 The Worship; 11.05 Link; 11.20 9.20 Flash Gordon; 9.45 Moesha; Snowy River - The McGregor Simpsons; 12.20 Cartoon Jonathan Dimbleby; 12.20 10.15 Happy Days; 10.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus; 11.10 The Cosby Show; Saga; 11.30 Country File (Incl 12.30 Sunday Grandstand: Dinosaurs; 12.45 Calendar 12.35 Motor Sport; 1.35 11.40TheWaltons; 12.40 FILM: Weather for the Week Ahead); News; 12.50 ITN News: Weather Young Bess (1953) ;2.45 Football 12.00 On The Record (Incl News Basketball; 2.00 Racing 1.00 F1: Monaco Grand Prix - From Longchamp; 2.20 Italia, followed by News Summary clubs Summary); 1.00 FILM: My Fair Live. Jim Rosenthal and Weather; 5.05 Travelog Treks; Lady (1964); 3.45 EastEnders Golf; 2.55 The Badminton introduces live coverage of Arts Cafe Bar Nato 5.25 Terry Pratchett's Discworld; The Sunday Session with guest DJs. Queer - Dim?, members only night 5.10 Masterchef. With guests Horse Trials; 3.05 Racing the Monaco Grand Prix 6.00 The Monkees From Longchamp; 3.25 playing house and club anthems. Olympic runner Roger from Monte Carlo. 6.30 Wanted. The Badminton Horse Edwards 9pm-2am, membership available on Black and chef and owner 3.55 Coronation Street 7.30 Wild About The Bay. IM~\ Daze, laid back heats for that the door. Trials; 3.55 Racing From 4.55 FILM: The Road Raiders 8.00 To The Ends Of The Earth: of the Old Vicarage Longchamp; 4.05 Golf; Sunday feeling. (1989). Wartime action The Wrecks of Condor Reef The Courtyard restaurant, Tessa Bramley. 6.15 Round-up. 5.45 News: Weather adventure. 9.00 Dancing For Dollars. The Underground The 7th Night, George spins tunes 6.30 Land Of The Eagle 10.00 FILM: The Playboys (1992). 6.05 Regional News 6.30 Calendar News And Sunday Joint with home cooked for your Sunday salvation. 7.20 Star Trek: Voyager. The Sport 12.05 No More To Say... And roasts and laid hack jazz. 6.10 Songs Of Praise. Pam crew find a de-activated Nothing To Weep For Rhodes joins visitors to 6.45 ITN News: Weather Evening Joint Hyde Park Club robot floating in space. 7.00 Bruce Forsyth's Play 1.05 Dispatches Free entry, finishes 10.30pm Despatches. 4.30-10.30pm. Drum Northern Ireland's Silent 8.05 The Works. 1.50 World Cinema: FILM: Un and bass. £ I. and with cheap drinks. Valley. Your Cards Right Monde Sans Pitie (1989) 8.35 The Money Programme. 7.30 Coronation Street. Jim 6.45 Last Of The Summer 9.15 Close Up On Hitchcock. 3.25 World Cinema: FILM: chances his arm with Wine. Howard's foolproof 9.20 FILM: The Presidio Crossfire (1988). Samantha. gigs scheme will cure Pearl of (1988). Investigating a 5.05 Abkraten Und Teetrinken 8.00 Where The Heart Is. The being unnaturally police officer's murder on a 5.10 A Week In Politics Duchess The Cockpit Skelthwaite Scorpions suspicious once and for all. military base, ex-military Agent Orange + Helen Embrace. Doors 7.30pm. Tickets 7.15 The Great Antiques Hunt. policeman Jay Austin is prepare to do battle for the £5adv from Jumbo. See today's American contestants assigned to work with Lt honour of the town against Channel 5 The Dry Dock Flavour of the Day. travel to Oxfordshire to Col Alan Caldwell - his formidable opponents. It V a Scrnuu (comedy club), with The Town & Country Club discover whether they have former commanding officer 9.00 The Knock. Tony Burgess. Chris Wright/MC 10.00 The Clive James Show Peter Dixon and open slots. Type O Negative. £1 ladv an eye for English and sworn enemy. Starring 6.00 Serengeti Safari; 6.30 10.45 ITN News: Weather, Havakazoo, Followed by 5 News followed by live R&B band. antiques. Sean Connery. From 7pm, free. 10.55 FILM: The Molly followed by Local Update; 7.00 Dappledown Farm; 7.30 8.00 FILM: The Naked Gun 2 Weather Havakazoo: Wimzie's House, Maguires (1970), Fact- Followed by 5 News Update; 8.00 Mr 1/2: The Smell Of Fear 11.00 F1: Monaco Grand Prix - (1991). Lieutenant Frank based drama. Starring Men and Little Miss; 8.05 Wind In The Highlights Drebin discovers an evil Sean Connery. Followed Willows; 8.30 The Enid Blyton 12.00 FILM: Dead In The Water Adventure Series, Followed by 5 plan being hatched against by Weatherview (1991). Starring Teri News Update; 9.00 Wishbone; 9.30 the American people to 1.00 Close Mag Plus, Followed by 5 News 2.00 The Learning Zone: FETV Hatcher. Update; 10.00 Alpha Zone; 10.30 keep the country from 1.45 FILM:Zaalim. adopting a new energy : Information Technology Crossfire, Followed by 5 News 4.00 Languages: Italianissimo 4.35 Jobfinder Update; 11.00 Brunch; 11.30 LSI? 107.8 policy. Starring Leslie Exclusive Weekend; 12.50 5 News; Nielsen, George Kennedy, 1.00 The Mag, including 5 News Priscilla Presley and OJ Update By now, you should all have your radio locked to 107.8fm. Simpson. 2.00 USA High. Ml 'S'l' l-:,\'l> I'lllS S,\TUKI),\Y 2(>th ,\I'KII. -V7 2.20 The Mag (Continued), Schedules (still available in the Union and selected outlets 9.20 Match Of The Day Followed by 5 News Update around town) are the same as last week, with the following 10.30 News: Weather 3.15 Family Affairs Omnibus. 10.45 Everyman. The story of 5.25 African Safari. exceptions and highlights... Kim, who was 6.25 5 News And Sport Saturday, 10pm-12am: The Vardbird Suite, live jazz 6.30 Wowfabgroovy. Followed by photographed 25 years 5 News Update Sunday, 6-7pm: The Dan and Will Show, forget the charts... ago as a little girl running 7.00 What's The Story? achieve Nirvana with this, a radical new perspective on tea-time naked down a road in 7.30 Ferry Tales, Followed by 5 Vietnam following a News Update radio entertainment courtesy of Leeds' Buddah's of Banter - 8.00 FILM: A Touch Of Class Dan, Will and Si. napalm raid. (1973). 11.25 FILM: A Chorus Line 9.55 5 News Update Sunday, 9pm-12am: Mu's Sunday Jam, the coolest chill out (1985). Starring Michael 10.00 Twin Peaks, Followed by 5 show on the airwaves Douglas. News Update 11.00 Turnstyle. Monday, 8-10pm: Residents Night In, storming drum & bass 1.20 Weather 12.00 Live And Dangerous 1.25 Close 5.30 Whittle set from Kemistry and Storm 75 Raglan Ret Woodhouse Opp, University bted No. / 3} v By Leeds Students LMCKX5 Tel: 2425672 Open 7 days a week 5pm till late To order just pick up the phone and give us a call. Your order will be delivered FREE to your fsm FREEPHONE door within aJLqltetadiiifcflf our shop. Voted NONE No, I by DELIVER FREEPHONE Leeds FASTER SOUTHERN FftKD CHICK«f ystudentsy DONNCfi FREE PHONE Free Delivery OSOO 11 33 45 OPEN 12|?m to 4am Mon-Saf & Mm fo 2pm Stm until 4am man-sat 81 RAGLAN ROAD, HYDE PARK, LEEDS, LS2 9DZ 30 may 12 Flavour^of the Day guide Placebo @ The Town & Country Club The meteoric rise of Placebo has come as a Grave igcddir'). \\hich sees Placebo big surprise to manj people whosaj ilu-\ 'umped in wiih the Mumc's. Longpit:,. are little more than a cartoon Cure. Hi, Linoleum and Suede when they're being cinema people should w home, burn their Love Cms melancholy ll hard!) constitutes an earth record, then stick on Conn- Home or Hnti\i> shattering ne\\ musical movement now does Hyde Park Picture House del. Odeon (tel.2436230) Pristine and realise that Placebo are a)No it'.' Tickets are priced at a rather inflated fl) 27520451 iilms and tunes slill to he relation to SO's goth. and b)/\ctuall\ rather Ba.squuit; 7.00.-MM) amfirmeil al lime of going to m ad\ance (€10 on the door), but I guess if press. Call einema for details. good. you're willing to pa\ a tenner to glimpse at ABC del. 2452665) ('eriam hacks ha\e. one suspecls rather Brian Molko's andiog\n\ then that's the •/in, I/it' new Knhfrl Crying Freeman Showcase del. 01924 420622) jokingly, created a new pigeon-hole called beauty of supply and demand in full effect. l.iar. l.iar (ihosl of the Past. Anaconda. Return of the Jedi ti'eeman. Space .lam. 1 iar I jupiic Strikes Back Liar. Donnic Braseo. Scream. Metro. Return of the Jedi. It Cottage Road (lei. 2751606) Takes Two. Romeo and Juliet. BBC 1 BBC 2 ITV Channel 4 The Knglish Patiem: 5.00, 8.00 Star Wars. Dante's Peak. The Sainl. l.nipirc Strikes Back. The 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 Patient 6.00 Open University: 7.15 See Hear 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Supermarket 6.00 Sesame Street: 7.00 The Big Lounge (tel.2751061) BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Breakfast News; 7.30 Teenage Mutant Sweep, followed by ITN News Breakfast: 9.00 Bewitched: 9.30 Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Style l.iar. l.iar: Hero Turtles; 7.55 Blue Peter; 8.20 Headlines; 9.55 Calender News And Schools; 12.00 Right To Reply; 12.30 6.00,8.10 Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; 10.30 Bump; 8.25 Open A Door; 8.35 Weather; 10.00 The Time. . The Light Lunch; 1.30 FILM: Man On A Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 Place; 10.30 This Morning; 12.20 Raccoons; 9.00 TV6 On The Road; Tightrope (1953): 3.30 Collector's Lot; News: Regional News: Weather; Calender News And Weather; 12.30 4.00 Fifteen To One; 4.30 Countdown; 9.30 lei Pans; 9.45 Watch Out; 10.00 11.05 The Great Escape; 11.35 ITN Lunchtime News: Weather; 12.55 5.00 Montel Williams; 5.30 Pet Rescue Change That; 12.00 News: Teletubbies; 10.30 Go For It; 10.50 Home And Away: 1.25 Coronation 6.00 Hangin' With Mr Cooper clubs Regional News: Weather; 12.05 Look And Read Special; 11.10 Zig Street: 1.55 A Country Practice; 2.20 6.30 Hollyoaks. Ruth is regretting Call My Bluff; 12.35 Going For A Zag; 11.30 Ghostwriter; 12.00 Wish You Were Here...?; 2.50 her hasty words and worried Song; 1.00 News: Weather 1.30 The Courtyard Ritzy 's Shortland Street; 3.15 Jody Horowitz about Kurt, who has gone Regional News: Weather; 1.40 Teaching Today; 12.30 Working .s/hiAr }• i,\ tnnk. soul Hie World music for the m,!- Reports; 3.20 ITN News Headlines; missing. and s\\ecs disco musk1. The Weather Show; 1.45 Lunch; 1.00 History File: 1.25 lflpm--an], tree with thcr. I' 3.25 Calendar News, 3.30 Tots TV: 7.00 Channel 4 News and Weather lt).30pin. Ill altei Neighbours; 2.10 Quincy; 2.55 Landmarks: Britain Since 1930:1.45 3.40 Caribou Kitchen; 3.50 Cartoon; 7.50 Rhyme and Reason. Club I ropa Through The Keyhole: 3.20 Storytime; 2.00 Bump; 2.05 Open A 4.00 Scooby Doo 8.00 Mrs Cohen's Money. Skepper On Style; 3.30 Playdays; playing Door: 2.10 Alias Smith And Jones; 4.25 The Famous Five 8.30 The Entertainers SOp pinl. 3.50 Monster Cafe; 4.05 The New iiink. soul and discn night wilh 3.00 News: Regional News: Weather: 4.50 The Big Bang 9.00 Melissa. Yogi Bear Show; 4.10 Casper 5.10 Home and Away 10.25 Dark Skies. As the aliens Edwards others. 4.35 50/50 3.05 The Phil Silvers Show: 3.30 acid-ja//. hip- 5.40 ITN Early Evening News: infiltrate the anti-Vietnam 5.05 Newsround Blockbusters; 3.55 News: Regional hop unJsnulu ill Weather movement. Kim must decide 5.10 Blue Peter News: Weather; 4.00 Blockbusters; 5.55 Calender News And Weather whether to return to the Hive. Le Phono 5.35 Neighbours. Will Libby 4.25 Ready. Steady, Cook: 4.55 6.30 Tonight 11.25 Cheers Mirul \,ntf lit'nii i.vk Jt alternative. give Darren a second Esther; 5.30 Today's The Day 7.00 Wish You Were Here...? 11.55 NBA Raw I0pm-2;im. £l before I Ipm. C after. chance? -Ik- Brown & Jack Daniel's 7.30 Coronation Street. Alan has 12.55 NYPDBlue 6.00 Six O'Clock News: 6.00 The Simpsons £1.25 a big surprise for Fiona. 1.45 10-7 For Life Weather 6.25 Space Precinct 8.00 World In Action. A report on 2.50 FILM: My Learned Friend Nate 6.30 Regional News 7.10 The Ren And Stimpy Show the lives of the tunnellers (1943) Faculty of Fun, new night playing Magazines chart and pam music. I0pm-2am, 7.30 Computers Don't Bite: The underneath the site of 4.10 Watching The Detectives 7.00 Auntie's TV Favourites. £1( with NT'S l Beginner's Guide. Manchester airport's second 5.10 There Lived A Man Called 7.30 Here And Now. A report 8.00 Top Gear Motorsport runway. Kozyavin Planet Earth on the level of violence r 8.30 The Freddie Starr Show. 5.20 Backdate Ab\(thtlt l\ f-'iibitli>u.\. studcm night, faced by NHS staff in 8.30 The Antiques Show. 9.00 Bramwell. playing party and charty dance music. accident and emergency 9.00 Till Death Us Do Part. Free before 9pm, £1 between Q-llpm 10.00 News At Ten: Weather departments. 9.30 Tales From The Riverbank and with tree bottle of lager. Now open 10.30 Calender News And Weather from 8pm -2.30am. The original 8.00 EastEnders. Tiffany's 10.00 Game On. Mandy decides to Channel 5 student niiiht' 10.40 The Day We Went To hopes of some fun seem give celibacy a go. Followed by thwarted until Grant steps Wembley Video Nation Shorts 11.10 Baywatch Nights 6.00 5 News Early: 7.30 Havakazoo. in. followed by 5 News Update; 8.00 12.05 FILM: Blind Vengeance 8.30 Only Fools and Horses. 10.30 Newsnight Adventures Of The Bush Patrol; 8.30 (1990). Love comes into Del's life 11.15 Ruby WideWorld, followed by 5 News 1.45 Not Fade Away Update; 9.00 Espresso, followed by 5 when an old flame returns 11.55 The Phil Silvers Show. 2.45 The Chart Show News Update; 10.00 Exclusive; to London. 10.30 Attractions, followed by 5 12.30 The Learning Zone: Open 3.30 An Invitation To Remember 9.00 Nine O'Clock News: News Update; 11.00 Leeza; 11.50 Duchess The Town & Country Club University 4.00 Cyber.Cafe Regional News: Weather Double Espresso, followed by 5 Benson + Sharabang Placebo See today's /-nivmir nj'ihi- 2.00 Nightschool TV: Cats' Eyes 4.30 Jobtinder News Update; 12.00 The Bold And 9.30 Panorama The Beautiful; 12.30 Family Affairs; Day. 4.00 BBC Focus 5.30 ITN Morning News Thti Underground 10.10 FILM: One of Her Own 1.00 5 News Update; 1.05 Sunset Corkers ComcJ) Club, ypm-^am. Manchester Apollo (1994). Factually-based Beach Followed by 5 News Update; story of a policewoman 2.00 5s Company. Including 5 News with live coined) trom Lee Mai/k Texas LSRW7.8FM Update and Mic Parkin, plus dj's. who encounters closed 3.30 FILM: Wuthering Heights ranks when she accuses (1970). 5.20 5's Company - Late Extra one of her fellow officers of Bum JheResiOentsHisMlH t,~3 raping her. 5.30 100%. The gameshow mixesiDmarouno'lhelJK.ThisweekDrurn without a host. theatre 11.40 FILM: Absent Without 12pm The lonclttfme Bale sponsors] and Bass heaven!, a 2hr set from BryanG. 6.00 Whittle Junying Jack Frost Kemisty&Stom Leave (1992). Romantic ty Cate Junction 6.30 Family Affairs. \Vi-st Yorkshire Playhouse saga about a couple who tffP/H fUn*Y NO/6 tneh<>nap 7.00 Exclusive The Wasp hactory ipm Paul Ramtr muse s. oaskmi 7.30 Animal Omens are forced apart when the darxx. sponsored by The Frjt Cupboard corinosset/s snov/, woh Greenpeace & As You Like It EASE 8.00 Hot Property young man is called up to iam Session 5-^ 8.30 5 News including First On Bradford Alhambra fight in the Second World Five wim Beane and Tora hasx I'nsniorCell Hlotk H. starring 1 il> War. Starring Craig 6am ISR Wendell Hews 9.00 FILM: The Return Of The 2atn Quails lecnno mtfi special 'guest Swamp Thing (1989). McLachlan. 6.20POI lUff! new releases Sreasns 1.15 Weather lerfteheail 10.30 Bring Me The Head of Light Entertainment r ••————••1.20 Close i 4am iMBflringSlrall masting up •O I weet revival «(D II o sweet revival (D DC FUNK • SOUL • DISCO DC RARE GROOVE • FUNK • SOUL • DISCO -• I (/) uu HI I ft — •• JK s. I o 6 D a D a @ I 0 (D 0 (D pa A R w I BAR O w c a; C i o I o o H t, I\/IOISJD/\YS ~—• • • o h fc IVIONDAYS w OLD SKOOL IVIUSIO 3 w OLD SKOOL MUSIC 3 I I CQ I 2 h OLD SKOOL DRINKS PRICES: _. OLD SKOOL DRINKS PRICES: tequila 5Op a snot (D « tequila SOp a shot if I doubles £1 .20 (Includes mixer) H doubles £1 .20 (Includes mixer) free sriot of liquid with free shot of liquid with *l every bottle of grolscn <£1 .25) every bottle of grolsch (£1 .25) £1 carting black label £1 carllng black label lo 2 central rd, leeds tel O113 246 9S95 2 central rd, leeds tel O113 246 9S95 (underneath oxfam, near the corn exchange) (underneath oxfam, near the corn exchangeexchange) 31 may 13 Flavour of the Day Makin' Time @ Zacks A new night at what might be a new venue Over by The Dave Clarke 5). guide for many, Makin' Time looks set to plug the Entry is free all evening, and between 9 and gap caused by the temporary closure of The 10pm the music will be relaxed and not too Pleasure Rooms. loud to give all you groovy cats a chance to Music policy is set to be somewhere chat and socialise before you hit the dance cinema between the easy listening schmooze of floor. H The Lava Lounge, and the 60's hedonism of Cocktails are £2 all night, and lager at l.UU I ilm Society Odeon (tet.2436230) MoveOnUp, plus a few more of your £1.50, which means this will be a fun and Nrvcii Samurai. Showing in the Sorry, films and times still to be favourite 60s hits. The DJ's though are affordable night. Rupert Beckett lecture theatre at confirmed at time of going to willing to play pretty much anything you Zacks is located on Cookridge Street, just 7pm. press. Call cinema for details. Get Ready for Makin' Time want to hear (if they've got it, and near the Town and Country Club. Hyde Park Picture House (lei. Showcase (tel. 01924 420622) obviously that doesn't include Glad All 2752045) Ghost of the Past, Anaconda, Basquiat; 7.00, 9.00 Crying freeman, Space Jam, Liar Liar, Donnie Brasco. Scream, ABC (tel. 2452665) Metro, Return of the Jedi. It Crying Freeman Takes Two, Romeo and Juliet, BBC 1 BBC 2 Channel 4 Liar, Liar Star Wars. Dante's Peak, The ITV Return of the Jedi Saint, Empire Strikes Back, The Empire Strikes Back English Patient 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Supermarket 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The Big BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News; 7.30 Sweep, followed by ITN News Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; 9.30 Schools; Cottage Road (tel. 2751606) Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Style Headlines; 9.55 Calendar News 12.00 House To House; 12.30 Light The English Patient; 5.00. 8.00 Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles; Lunch; 1.30 Waterways; 2.00 Channel 4 Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; 10.30 7.55 Blue Peter; 8.20 Juniper And Weather; 10.00 The Time... Racing from York; 4.00 Fifteen To One; Lounge (tel.2751061) Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 The Place; 10.30 This Morning; 4.30 Countdown; 5.00 Ricki Lake; 5.30 Jungle; 8.35 Raccoons; 9.00 Liar. Liar. 6.00, 8.10 News: Regional News: Weather; Study Ireland - History; 9.30 12.20 Calendar News And Pet Rescue 6.00 Friends 11.05 The Great Escape; 11.35 Space Ark - The Environment; Weather; 12.30 ITN Lunchtime News: Weather; 12.55 Home 6.25 Fluke Change That; 12.00 News: 9.45 Watch; 10.00 Teletubbies; 6.55 Fresh Pop And Away; 1.20 Coronation clubs Regional News: Weather; 12.05 7.00 Channel 4 News including at 7.30 10.30 Come Outside; 10.45 Street; 1.50 Afternoon Live; 2.20 Call My Bluff; 12.35 Going For A Science Zone - Forces; 11.05 Headlines And Weather Charlie Parkers Planet Earth Vanessa; 2.50 Afternoon Live; 7.50 Rhyme And Reason Tequilo/Vodsock, a frenzied night of Song; 1.00 One O'clock News: Space Ark; 11.15 Go For It; 11.30 /Vfl.v/v. acid ja/.y, hip hop. Weather; 1.30 Regional News: 3.20 ITN News Headlines; 3.25 8.00 Moving People. spirit fuelled debauchery, if that's your Sportsbank; 12.00 See Hear!; 8.30 Brookside. How will Susannah idea of fun. £l double £2.50 Members Weather; 1.40 The Weather Calendar News; 3.30 Wizadora; Club Uropa 12.30 Working Lunch; 1.00 3.40 Potamus Park; 3.50 Old cope with Max's children coming Adrenalin, cheap student night in / £3 NUS. Info and membership, call Show; 1.45 Neighbours; 2.10 to stay? Teaching Today; 1.30 Testament: Bear Stories superb venue. 9pm-2am, £2 NUS 0973 387577 Quincy; 2.55 Through The 9.00 Melissa. before ] 1 .30, £3 after. 2 bottles of beer 4.00 Garfield And Friends Keyhole; 3.20 Skepper On Style; The Bible In Animation; 2.00 10.25 FILM: The Kill Off (1989). for£l 9- 1 Opm. The Underground Juniper Jungle 4.20 Waynehead 12.15 Film Night The Lava Lounge, playing exotica, 3.30 Mouse And Mole; 3.35 12.55 The Last Picture Show: FILM: 2.10 FILM: The Fugitive (1947) 4.40 Island The Courtyard hammond and moog grooves, sound- Playdays; 3.50 Arthur; 4.20 Julia 5.10 Home And Away Dance Me Outside (1994). Urban Hustle, with Marcos Moret irLtcks und tv themes. 3.55 News: Regional News: 2.25 The Last Picture Show: FILM: playing hip-hop, jazz-beats, drum and I0pm-2am. (cocktail hour I0-l 1pm) Jekyll And Harriet Hyde; 4.35 5.40 ITN Early Evening Round The Twist; 5.00 Weather Powwow Highway (1989). bass and latin. Free entry & drinks £3 / £3.50 after I Ipm. News: Weather 4.00 Schools promo's. 8- 1 Ipm Newsround; 5.10 ActivS 4.00 Blockbusters 5.55 Calendar, followed by 5.15 The Wardrobe Zacks 5.35 Neighbours 4.25 Ready, Steady, Cook Local Weather 5.20 Backdate Edwards Makin Time, new night of 60s pop and 6.00 News: Weather 4.55 Esther Vinyl Masterchef 96/97, still searching soul, with an easy hour to start with. 6.30 Tonight lor the best local DJ talent in Leeds. See today's Fla\tnti- i>flhe Day. 6.30 Regional News 5.30 Today's The Day 7.00 Emmerdale. 9pm-1 am. tree. Magazines 6.00 Fresh Prince Of Bel Air 7.30 The Tonight Talent Channel 5 The Warehouse 7.00 Holiday. Fasten Your 6.25 Heartbreak High. Show Tntlv Student, free entry and bargain The Pleasure Rooms Seatbelt 8.00 The Bill. drinks at this new student night. Nine Acre Court, return of the much 7.10 The O Zone 9pnv2am loved indie club as the venue re-opens. 7.30 EastEnders. Lorraine's 7.30 Homeground. 8.30 The Cook Report. 6.00 5 News Early; 7.30 Havakazoo, £3 on door. 10pm-2am world seems to be falling 8.00 Two Fat Ladies. 9.00 Touching Evil. followed by 5 News Update; 8.00 Nato Adventures Of The Bush Patrol; 8.30 apart and she lashes out 8.30 Food And Drink. 10.00 News At Ten: Weather Red Raw, Love Muscle Tour, playing 10.30 Calendar News And WideWorld, followed by 5 News Update; huiisc. dance and club anthems with at those around her. 9.00 Murder One. 9.00 Espresso, followed by 5 News DJs Mark Monroe, Gareth, Terry 8.00 Children's Hospital. Weather Update; 10.00 Exclusive; 10.30 Hot George and Stuart Robinson. 9.45 Bloom Or Bust?. 10.40 Network First. Orthopaedic surgeon John 10.30 Newsnight Property, followed by 5 News Update; £4,50memb's, £6 others, 10pm-2am. Dorgan operates to 11.40 Around The House 11.00 Leeza; 11.50 Double Espresso, 11.15 Ruby followed by 5 News Update; 12.00 The straighten the spine of a 12.10 Collins And Maconie's 11.55 The Phil Silvers Show. Movie Club Bold And The Beautiful; 12.30 Family 14-year-old boy who is Affairs 12.30 The Learning Zone: Open 12.40 Danielle Steel's ggs suffering from a muscle- 1.00 5 News Update University wasting disease. Kaleidoscope 1.05 Sunset Beach. Elaine receives 2.00 Nightschool TV: The 2.35 Bonkers! Arts Cafe Bar Waterstones (Albion St) 8.30 Goodnight Sweetheart. some shocking news. Followed 3.35 Club Nation by 5 News Update The Three Deuces Will Self, reading and talking, from Gary is rapidly running out Experimenter/Space Ark 4.35 Jobfinder 2.00 5's Company, Incl 5 News 7pm, £2. of money, and Ron has 4.00 BBC Focus Update The Duchess 3.30 FILM: Something So Right t.b.c. Sheffield Arena lost the will to print it. Toni Braxton (!) 9.00 News: Regional News: (1982) ISR 107.8 FIH 5.20 5's Company - Late Extra Weather 5.30 100%. 9.30 One Foot In The Grave. 6.00 Whittle 10.00 Crimewatch UK. 8am sttetea norm 6.20pm The HappenHueosbeaL sout 6.30 Family Affairs 10.45 The Beast Of Lenny lOaaCracUfa'ltlmlfmm fe vaji. &mxmn 7.00 Exclusive 7.30 Animal Omens. 80m fOtatfX Psyche iBsdenlMaujsK's theatre Henry 12pm nelimclitliae Cafe sponsor 8.00 Fame And Fortune «ea^arum with the reopening of the pleasure rooms with the reopening of the pleasure rooms nine acre court returns on the 13th may 1997 nine acre court returns on the 13th may 1997 featuring the very best in new music featuring the very best in new music and sixties classics. and sixties classics. every tuesday night 10pm until 2am. every tuesday night 10pm until 2am. at the pleasure rooms, at the pleasure rooms. lower merrion st, leeds 1. lower merrion st. leeds 1. admission fee £3.00 all night. admission fee £3.00 all night. drinks promotions £1,00 a bottle of pils and drinks promotions £1,00 a bottle of pils and £1.00 selected spirits. £1.00 selected spirits. from the.charlatans to the seahorses, from the charlatans to the seahorses, supergrass to the jam and embrace to the supergrass to the jam and embrace to the rolling stones. rolling stones. nine acre court nine acre court 32 may 14 Flavour of the Day guide The Jack Docherty Show, C5, llpm Channel Fi\e has now been going for over a "compelling" and "made lor iv" do not go month and has yet lo make iis mark. It's together. Which is why the Jack Docherty prime time viewing, as you may have show is currently the highlight of their cinema discovered by now. basically sucks. The output. The man is a natural star, his show is wildlife shows look like they've been runny and the guests arc interesting, il not Hyde Park Picture House del. Odeon (tel.2436230) dredged up from the 1970s and aren't famous, but then they are operating on a 2752045) Sou). !i!m> and time* still to he Basquiat; 7.00,9.00 rorifiniK-il al limf oT going I.' nai rated by David Attenhorough. the new shoe-string budget. Call cinema tor ik-l.nls. soap stinks and the 'film at nine' is almost As the Labour Party and D:Ream already ABC del. 2452 featuring the very best in northern soul, featunn g the very best in norther n soul, motown.stax.attantic&sixties beat. motown,stax,atlantic8i sixties beat. every Wednesday night lOpm until2am. e>ery Wednesday night lopmuntizam. at the underground,cookndge street, at the underground.cookridge street, feeds 1. feeds t. admission fee £3joo / £350 admission fee £3jOO/£3.so selected drinks promotions every week. selected drinks promotions every week, from stevie wonder to otts redding, from stevie wonder to otts reddng, aretfia frankln tomaxtne brown and aretha frankln to marine brown and marvin gaye to Jackie wteon. marvin gaye to Jackie wtson. website:http/Aww¥iownandcountrydubjca.iifc/ «Kbsite:http/AvwwiownandcauntryclubjCOuK/ 33 may 15 Flavour of the Day Harlem Bush Club @ Liquid guide This is a club which really does deserve If you missed them the first time around your attention. It brings live jazz bands of then this is a must, regardless of how the finest quality to this intimate new many essays you're currently juggling. venue every week, and only charges you Liquid is tucked away near the Oxfam cinema £3 for the privilege. Now that's nice. shop, just beyond the former Eastern Bloc QLUU Film Society Lounge (tel.2751061) Tonight's band is Taxi, who are back by record shop. Magnificent Seven. Lasl film of their Liar, Liar, 6.00. 8.10 popular demand after appearing here in The fun kicks off at 8.30pm. and the Jazz summer season - ending on a high rune. Showing in the Rupert Beckett Odeon (tel.2436230) January and taking the place by storm. Messengers provide the vinyl until 2am. Lecture Theatre at 7pm. Sorry, films and times still to be Essentially, they are a seven piece jazz / Look out another date from the Anna confirmed at time of going to press. Call cinema for details. The Pharaoh gets in on the act funk outfit featuring Dan Goldman on Stubbs Quintet next week, and Leeds' Hyde Park Picture House del. 2752045) bass and Dan Wood on piano. own What is Hip the week after. Basquiat: 7.00. 9.00 Showcase (tel. 01924 420622) Ghost of the Past, Anaconda, Crying ABC (tei. 2452665) freeman. Space Jam, Liar Liar. Donnie Crying Freeman Brasco, Scream, Metro, Return of the Channel 4 Liar. Liar Jedi, It Takes Two. Romeo and Juliet, BBC 1 BBC 2 ITV Return of the Jedi Star Wars, Dante's Peak, The Saint, Empire Strikes Back limpire Strikes Back. The English Patient 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Supermarket 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The Big Cottage Road (tel. 2751606) Hear Breakfast News; 7.30 Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; 9.30 The English Patient; 5.00. 8.00 BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Sweep, followed by ITN News Schools; 12.00 House To House; Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Style Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles; Headlines; 9.55 Calendar 12.30 Light Lunch; 1.30 Waterways; 7.55 Blue Peter; 8.20 Fireman Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; 10.30 News And Weather; 10.00 The 2.00 Channel 4 Racing from York; Sam; 8.35 The Record; 9.00 The 4.00 Fifteen To One; 4.30 Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 Time... The Place; 10.30 This News; 11.05 The Great Escape; Developing World; 9.25 Countdown; 5.00 Ricki Lake; 5.30 clubs Morning; 12.20 Calendar News Pet Rescue 11.35 Change That; 12.00 News: Christianity In Today's World; 9.45 Watch Out; 10.00 And Weather; 12.30 ITN 6.00 Springhill. Q Regional News: Weather; 12.05 6.30 Hollyoaks. 90's. 80p with flyer, £2.50 without. Teletubbies; 10.30 Storytime; Lunchtime News: Weather; Club Mex Call My Bluff; 12.35 Going For A 7.00 Channel 4 News Rehab, hip-hop, soul, r&b drum and Castaway 80p a bottle. 10.45 The Experimenter; 11.05 12.55 Home And Away; 1.20 7.50 Rhyme And Reason bass, from DJ C and Article 5ive. £3, Song; 1.00 One O'clock News: I0pm-2am Space Ark; 11.15 Moving To Emmerdale; 1.50 Afternoon 8.00 Health Alert. Ritzv Weather; 1.30 Regional News 8.30 Taste Of The Times. Brit h>p, big beats, boozing and pogo- English; 11.35 Landmarks: Live; 2.20 Vanessa; 2.50 The Headrow ing, as Ritzy goes indie! £1 NUS or with And Weather; 1.40 The Weather Britain Since 1930; 12.00 9.00 Dispatches Off the Wall, cuttins edge deep house flyer, 50p pint, £ 1 selected trebles. Show; 1.45 Neighbours; 2.10 Afternoon Live; 3.20 ITN News 9.45 Bright Sparks: Chaingang. laced with funk anrljaz/.. 8pm-2am, £1 a Opening Up Technology; 12.30 pint. £ 1 on the door. Quincy; 2.55 Through The Headlines; 3.25 Calendar Ending the series of short The Underground Working Lunch; 1.00 Lifeschool; films demonstrating the best Casa Latino. Boogaloo97! With DJs Keyhole; 3.20 Skepper On Style; News; 3.30 The Riddlers; 3.40 Le Phono 1.25 Science In Action; 1.45 of Britain's film student's Megealtnnania, trance-tastic dub with Chico Malo & El Greco, plus live music 3.30 Playdays; 3.50 Postman Pat Numbertime; 2.00 Fireman Sam; Wizadora; 3.50 Rupert; 4.15 talents. The Egg. Laser and bitter £ 1.50 a pint, from Grupo X, plus Stella & Edison from ;4.05 The All New Popeye Show; 2.10 The Flying Vet; 2.30 The Mike And Angelo; 4.40 Sweat; 10.00 Father Ted. Ted is looking 9pm-2am,£3/£2.50. Colombia. Doors 8pm. dance class 8.30- forward to television 9.30, live band 10.30pm, ends 2am. 4.25 Julia Jekyll And Harriet Mill's Life; 3.00 News: Regional 5.10 Home And Away; 5.40 ITN superstardom on the 'Faith Of Liquid £5 cone's/£6. Hyde; 4.35 Return To Jupiter; News: Weather; 3.05 Harlem Bush Club, new jazz vibes night. Early Evening News: Weather; Our Fathers' show. with live band Taxi. 5.00 Newsround; 5.10 No Sweat Westminster With Nick Ross; 5.55 Calendar, followed by 10.35 Northern Exposure. 8.30pm-2am, £3/£4 Hyde Park Club 3.55 News: Regional News: 11.30 The Naked Truth Corruption, house, techno, drum&buss. 5.35 Neighbours. Harold and Local Weather; 6.30 Tonight with Ben Roberts and Tom Power. Free Weather; 4.00 Blockbusters; 12.00 FILM: Slither (1973). LUU Harvey Milk Bar Madge are reunited at last. 7.00 Emmerdale. Biff Stale of the Nation, mainstream indie before 9pm, £ 1 after 4.25 Ready, Steady, Cook; 4.55 1.45 Dancing For Dollars 6.00 Six O'clock News: confronts Sandra at his 2.45 Breath Of Life night playing all your favourite tunes. Weather Esther 3.20 There Will Come Soft Rain 9pm-2am, £2 and with cheap drinks. 5.30 Today's The Day father's funeral. 3.30 Ulster Unearthed 6.30 Regional News Nato Magazines 6.00 Star Trek: Deep Space 7.30 3-D 3.55 Encyclopaedia Galactica 4.05 Geographical Eye Automatic, indie night, 7.00 Watchdog Healthcheck. Nine 8.00 The Bill. I0pm-2am, £3 on the door. 6.45 Quantum Leap. 8.30 My Wonderful Life. 4.25 Schools At Work /Uv/Hm, hip hop and skate punk, with This programme focuses 4.35 The English Programme 7.30 East. 9.00 Bodyguards. Skate ramps and live p.a's. on meningitis - which kills 5.00 Talking About Sex 1 Opm-2am, £3 / £4 with flyer. more than 500 people each 8.00 Regional Programmes 10.00 News At Ten: Weather 5.25 Backdate year - and dispels some of 8.30 Top Gear. Jeremy 10.30 Calendar News And Planet Earth Clarkson gives his verdict Weather A Kick Up The Eighties. Re-live those the common myths. on cars that have fallen awkward teenage years in style. Kicking 7.30 EastEnders. George's life through his road-testing 10.40 Alfred Hitchcock Channel 5 up a storm of the 80's. with a nudge of the is under scrutiny both net (uh?) Presents personally and 9.00 Absolutely Fabulous. 11.10 Highlander 6.00 5 News Early; 7.30 Havakazoo, professionally. 9.30 This Life. 12.10 Funny Business followed by 5 News Update; 8.00 gigs 8.00 Animal Hospital. 10.15 A Woman Called Smith 12.40 FILM: Confidential Adventures Of The Bush Patrol; 8.30 WideWorld, followed by 5 News Anaesthetising and 10.30 Newsnight (1988) operating on a fish Update; 9.00 Espresso, followed by 5 The Duchess Town & Country Club 11.15 Late Review 2.20 Not Fade Away News Update; 10.00 Exclusive; 10.30 Spiritual Dip The Muldoons + Jump Around DJs. presents an unusual 12.00 The Midnight Hour With 3.20 In Bed With Medinner The Great Garden Game, followed by £8adv/£6NUS challenge for one of the Trevor Phillips 5 News Update; 11.00 Leeza; 11.50 Liquid vets. 12.30 The Learning Zone 3.50 Access All Areas Double Espresso, followed by 5 News Taxi - back by popular demand. See Irish Centre 4.20 Jobfinder Update; 12.00 The Bold And The today's Flavour nfthe Day. Ian Hunter & band + Cube (bloke 8.30 Keeping Mum. When 2.00 FETV: Understanding formerly of M'otty the Hoople, who 5.30 ITN Morning News Beautiful; 12.30 Family Affairs; 1.00 5 Richard gives Peggy a dog, Organisations News Update sung All the Young Dudes, amongst she is determined to look 1.05 Sunset Beach. others), tickets available from Jumbo. after her new pet all by 2.00 5's Company herself - until it starts ISB 107,8 FHI 3.30 FILM: The Happening (1967) 5.20 5's Company - Late Extra misbehaving. I StmtompretottsfaBrsaliteats 5.30 100%. Followed by 5 News 9.00 Nine O'clock News: Update theatre | fjrgte. tip-hop& ftp-hop Regional News: Weather 6.00 Whittle 6.30 Family Affairs. 9.30 999. Two young climbers (Upvaute oufict? Icnobn comes t> LSR : 7.00 Exclusive West Yorkshire Playhouse Savage. buried in a snow fight for ! f2lW fli6 IffffCJtttttlff Ctfa sponsored tfianfffltffSHtWiKhnowth 7.30 Animal Omens. 1. The Wasp Factory surviva. resOerts Mark Toner & Nget Water 8.00 Nancy Lam 2. As You Like It 10.20 The Lying Game. 8.30 5 News including First On 10.55 Question Time needs artf ifges Five City Varieties 9.00 FILM: The Competition Hair, rude musical 12.00 FILM: That Summer Of arts previews & i-Gwews 6aaneMg!ftmttylnitl (1980). Richard Dreyfuss White Roses (1989) . heads the cast of this romantic Bradford Alhambra 1.35 Weather eras/i muse, rnbandeO's tea woh the drama. Prisoner Cell Block H. with Lilly 1.40 Close Cockpl nssOsnls 11.00 The Jack Docherty Show. CluB MeX CluB MeX (NEAR THE CORN EXCHANGE) (NEAR THE CORN EXCHANGE) IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE PARTIES PRIVATE PARTIES WITH A REDUCED HIRE FEE FOR STUDENTS WITH A REDUCED HIRE FEE FOR STUDENTS CALL STEVEN NOW AND BOOK CALL STEVEN NOW AND BOOK YOUR END OF TERM PARTY ON YOUR END OF TERM PARTY ON 01132340980 01132340980 34 W Mtelevision O 3 DpXed in HALCYON DAYS Our childhood TV programmes have long been relegated to the realms of pub A weekly runaround conversation. MATT JAMES takes a look through the round window at six of the of last week's TV best remembered. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin... comings and goings RAINBOW JIM'LL FIX IT TAKE HART very Friday night, BBC2 has I don't remember if anything actually happened in Good ol' white hair himself, the only 90 year old Another bizarrely old presenter, Tony Hart, this, but the cast was wicked. Rod, Jane, and still wearing a tracksuit, 'fixing it' for fresh-faced would cast his artistic eye over a five year old's Ea slot in the Freddy, the Lindisfarne of kids TV, plus the young urchins to, um, go and wrestle with Giant attempt at drawing and say "Mmm, excellent schedules called The retrospectively camp puppet master Jeffrey; C&A Haystacks or whatever it was they wanted to do. sense of perspective" while trying not to crease omedy Zone. slacks and cardigans all the way mate... And then This programme used to make me feel really good up. Laughing all the way to the bank, eh Tone? who could forget the sad people who dressed up in about humanity... honest. No, let's face it, Jim 'The Gallery', indeed. And then there was Channel 4 doesn't need animal outfits for a living? Bungle, who wanted to always was a paragon of false optimism. And a Morph, the animated plasticine figure that ran one. It's funny all the time. be in the Famous Five, Zippy the insane ranting waste of airtime to boot. Hurrah, and gold medals around chattering like Kate Bush on helium. His Phil Kav Feels... (Friday mutant, and George the lisping hippo. All created all round, suckers. I bet the kids are all accountants precise function in the great scheme of things 10:30pm. C4) showcases the after a serious acid session, no doubt. now anyway. eludes me at present, however. atest stand-up comedian to land a TV series of his own - and you can tell he's good because he >ypassed the obligatory embarrassing stint on Whose 'Jne is it Any\vay? Kay's style ncorporates surreal observation. jizarre dramatic inserts and a great deal of audience jarticipation, the latter being his speciality. A routine from last week's show in which he attempted to quell audience aughter was hilariously ingenious. All in all, Phil Kay feels original, fresh and funny. Older and perhaps wiser is Frusier (Friday 10pm, C4), the most sophisticated of C4's US comedy imports. The genius here rests on acan't-fail formula: the characters are so witty that they would be funny whatever the situation, while the situations arc so clever that they would be funny whatever the characters. DOGTANIAN CHEGGERS PLAYS POP WIDE AWAKE CLUB Fuse the two and the sparks ignite one of television's most Who the hell thought this up? Basically, as \li yes. Keith 'I can count my 1Q on my hands The cull of "Wacaday'. as preached by that satisfying sitcoms. you might guess from the title. D'Artagnan as long as it's not more than three' Chegwin. bermuda-shorted buttinunch Timmy Mallet. and the Three Musketeers was a cartoon with A most ridiculous programme, with lots of Later to parasitically prey on the charts under dogs for characters. This reached hitherto gunk, assault courses, and other such the guise of Bombalurina, this little excuse for unknown heights of TV inanity. "One for all nonsense. Fondly remembered by me for a comedian seems to have done the decent and all for one. Muskahounds are always having Yazoo perform the sublime "Only thing and hidden under a rock for the last five ready". Quite. Invented the new musical genre You" one afternoon, but that's really neither years. His epitaph shall be an extract from of Japanese dog-yelping sy nth-pop, which was here nor there. Fancy a pint Cheggeis .' 'Mallet's Mallet', and lo he shall be forgotten. sadly not to have a lasting impact. Friday night aside, Channel 4 continues to oo/e funniness from every scheduling pore. Let the Rlaod Run Free (Sunday Eur-on to a winner, Katrina 4:55am) is too crappy-looking for a peak time slot, so lurks in a The 'Waves may have swept to victory but JOE DOWNIE says the TV coverage sank without a trace cycle of after-midnight repeals. The way this enthusiastic spoof lour, and a soap veers between uproarious he last time Britain Waves have swept to an historic and \\e watched. Doublless main had landslide victory. The feel-good (he pleasure of w atching it at an deserved lunacy and cringing awfulness won Eurovision was comparison with suggests cult potential. And factor is hack again. Oh yes. 'ironic" F.uroxision party. Others Nurse Pain Sandwich's ongoing Bucks Fizz in 1981. Or maybe not. Sec. watching probably did what I used lo do when I the "Wet Wet Wet T uas ahoul nine - namely, sit at home linger clicking Katrina and co win with their peaen battle for custody of a plastic doll That means we've had 16 stylee". is far more compelling than to uorld peace "I.o\e Shine A Light" \\alching every song and awarding it years of Tory government uas actually rather embarrassing, .lust marks out of 10. along with a As a spectacle. anything in EustEnJers. this year's e\ent Channel 4's funniest show. without a win. two years ago they were play ing at a comment. Mind you. when I was Labour won the election on pub in my home town to an audience nine. Kunnision night uas on a par was lame. There however, comes in a double was no knife weekly dose. Hf>ll\t>nks (Monday Thursday, and what do you know, of about five, and that uas including with Christmas. Bonfire Night or my two bar staff, one sound man and one birthday because I was allowed to throwing or and Thursday 6:3()pm) is so within two days Katrina and the stay up late and watch the quite Houdini type hysterically bad it deserves lard-arse roadie. Suddenly, they will appear in the hit parade again, and literally thrilling voting procedure, antics in the from-the-beginning repeats on with lasers and lights and everything. interval, no Channel 5. The straight-out-of- (here will be an inevitable greatest hits album (with "Walking on Some friends, who shall remain extravagant costume changes, no stage-school cast screams the anonymous, sat at home this year and technical hitches (although many of stupid script with sledgehammer Sunshine" - the acoustic version, the the European judges resembled live version, the club mix etc...) did this. They gave Norway - who subtlety, while the storylines are managed to pull off a spectacular nil characters from The Fast .S'/imr's so obvious they could have been Perhaps we shouldn't be so harsh though. After all. it means that Britain points - three out of ten, noting. Channel Nine), and not mans laughs. written by a calculator. Yes, "Abba-esque at beginning, cheesy fat Bui plenty of Boy/one. Indeed, it Channel 4 is funny even when it will have (he pleasure of hosting the hurts to .say it, bul Terry Wogan's prestigious event next year, much to blokes, old woman's bingo club isn't trying to be. music." Ireland, who were obviously witty commentary was (he highlight the relief of everyone in Dublin. of the show. Now how bad is that? As for the event, well, it happened going to great lengths to not win i Ross Horsley (though they still came second) got 35 Our student homes have a i iENUINE minimum standard I safety, security & comfort i....,.,.a r ESTATE >/ AGENTS http://www.interpages.co.uk/mark_pickerjng 35 ARNDALE CENTRE, OTLE' lEADINGLEY Tel: 0113274 6746 78 0841 36 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9,1997 13 'If I could retire having sent a signal about trust in public life, then that would be something worth having done' constituency tour at STIC. Perhaps Tatton heath wax the that is the best way to mine of a seasoned describe what happened. politician, and when Twenty-nine thousand, the sitting MP had forced hi.s opponent three hundred and fifty- to experiencing have more to do with Serbian cross the frontline into politics. An exchange to grant him the benefit of the doubt on armies than political opponents. of one fiery cauldron tor an infinilel) I. Ifour times. It was, in many unproved allegations against him. it appeared The pervading image most people had of dangerous but in many ways equally intense ways, a very British coup. thai Hell's campaign had suffered an Bell before the election was of a reporter situation, surely? And why resign from the Martin Bell, the new white irrecoverable blow. Did he think that standing outside a bunker on the Sarajevo BBC midway through a campaign in which Hamilton had won the war before the first frontline, while all hell, almost literally. victory was by no means assured'.' "I left knight of parliamentary politics skirmishes were over'.' broke out and proceeded to stav on the run because it was getting increasingly came riding over the horizon to "I did at the time," Bell admits. "After il I for sonic time, behind him. People remember uncomfortable for the BBC that I was a high save the good people of Tatton thought of all the smart remarks I could have Bell, not as a politician, but as the journalist profile candidate in a high profile made and didn't. I'm not a very aggressive once famously injured by shrapnel from a constituency," Bell responds. "They even from Neil Hamilton and the individual. I'm principled and determined, bomb attack while sending another dispatch stopped referring to me as "the former BBC dragon. Land of hope and but not aggressive. But what I came to realise from the war torn former Yugoslavia. Bell reporter.' I was called 'the former journalist.' glory, and all that. from three weeks on the doorstep is that this spent 35 years with the BBC and in that time - that tells you something. And I wanted to actually damaged his campaign. The role of covered 11 wars. Such experiences are not send a clear signal to the people of Tatton Or at least that's how many his wife in that ambush especially played likely to be forgotten with the advent of a that my former life was behind me, so I sections of the media would have against him in quite a significant way, and new career. Talk to Bell now, and the shadow burned that bridge and had no possibility of liked you to see the battle for Tatton. turned the voters off him. crossing it again." Sixteen hours on from his fairytale "What I meant to say, and probably But what if, to continue your didn't make clear enough at the time is metaphor, the bridge had burned away to election as the first independent MP that he had the benefit of the doubt on reveal Neil Hamilton standing victorious in the House of Commons since the unresolved allegations against him, behind it, leaving you in the no-man's 1945 however, Martin Bell remains but not on the cases of wrongdoing land between journalism and politics? which were already out there. I think that What then, Mr Bell? "I should have remarkably unfazed by the whole was the crucial difference." situation. returned, quite satisfied depending on Hamilton's ambush was not the only how much I had lost by, to my home in "Yes, it has all sunk in," he muses. time Bell came under pressure during his north London, and then reviewed my "Clearly this is going to change my life campaign. Standing nominally, if not options. I suppose I could have done a for the next four or five years, but I am officially as an 'anti-corruption' bit of journalism in other ways I tried to not immensely surprised that I won candidate meant that he was always resign from the BBC last November, but because it merely confirmed the feeling I likely to be under close scrutiny from his they dissuaded me, and for months my had been getting on the doorstep. I was detractors. However, when investigations phone never stopped ringing. So there astonished, however, by the margin of into the journalist's two failed marriages are things I could have done, because revealed nothing of a headline making I'm reasonably well known in the victory, which was beyond belief." nature, criticism turned to charges of business. But as it is, I'm now rather Even in an election of such Labour denying the people of Tatton their fired up to pursue an unexpected landslide and Conservative Party downfall as democratic rights. With the Labour and parliamentary career which will last for we have just experienced, one needs to take a Liberal Democrat candidates pulling out the duration of this one parliament trip to a point some miles beyond belief to of the constituency to advance Bell's only." find the margin by which Martin Bell won chances, some might argue that those It seems that, not unlike many of the one of the safest Tory seats in England. A charges were fair enough. Bell quickly voters in his constituency, Martin Bell is difference of 11,077 votes to defeat a sitting dismisses that line of thinking. something of an idealist. Ask him MP of fourteen years, and that point can "Well those decisions didn't come broadly about his aims in Parliament and consider itself truly stretched. from me," he retorts. "I didn't volunteer he talks of changing things, of honesty Hamilton's sizeable defeat undoubtedly for this. I was volunteered. I was asked in politics. Perhaps again, the image of had much to do with the shadow cast over his to stand by the Liberal and Labour Bosnia is weighing upon him. whole campaign by the 'cash for questions' parties who knew that separately and "Sometimes in life you have an allegations against him. Some might say that competing with each other they could opportunity to make a difference," he those allegations were not the worst case of not unseat Mr Hamilton, and they were explains. "I thought that, having been in government scandal uncovered in a difficult looking for someone who could. And television for 35 years, I had done some Parliament for the Conservative Party, but they looked for more than a week before they of Sarajevo slips into the conversation. things that I was proud of, and some other they made Hamilton's image, reflected from found me. "I'll give you an example of my line on things that had made no difference. If I could the figure of a man often painted whiter than "If the voters were disenfranchised, and Europe," he says. "I am in favour of more co- retire, whenever I eventually retire, and say his suit, all the more unappealing to the voter. very few of them complained about it, then operation on foreign and defence policies to myself that, yes, I unseated this particular Martin Bell's election might not have fazed they were given a real electable choice which between the countries of the European member of Parliament and made a him, but that he had to fight that election at thy hadn't had in Tatton for years. I think it Union, because in Bosnia I have seen the difference, or united the decent people of the all has clearly caused him some amazement. was a fairly peripheral issue, quite frankly." effects of disunity, which were lethal and constituency behind me and sent a signal "I make no secret that when I first Awkward questions fielded with aplomb? resulted in the prolongation of a war that about trust in public life, then that was challenged Mr Hamilton, I expected him You get the impression that Martin Bell has could have been brought to an end much something worth having done." either to withdraw or not to be adopted by his had to deal with pressure before. earlier." Idealism, trust, and the desire to make a party," Bell concedes, "but I was wrong You get the impression that by the time difference. Is this really a man who can about that. So we had to go through with the MBl SHI -v Such incidents are the fragile peace was established in the survive in Parliament? whole campaign. I think it was very painful undoubtedly well known to Martin Balkans, Bell was a most war-weary man for him. I wish for his own sake and Bell. Reporting on them, avoiding indeed. Perhaps this explains the decision to ££Tk f\ F'RK\ UN'S experiences as a everybody else's that he had withdrawn." them, dealing with them. It's just leave such a challenging career after 35 \/| journalist were largely in very Much as Tony Blair has been lauded for Athat the ambushes Martin Bell is more used years, but it does not explain the decision to J. V Ascary places, although this his praise of the defeated John Major last campaign was scary enough. But this is Friday morning, so Martin Bell should be going to be completely different." commended for his attitude towards While most of the country was looking Hamilton. His concern is perhaps a touch _ forward to spending the post-election surprising in light of the slick ambush that 11 weekend basking in Bank Holiday Hamilton carried out as soon as the find him a very hard man to admire showers. Martin Bell was facing up to the former BBC journalist had announced his reality that the parliamentary decision to stand in the constituency. — honeymoon period ends about Hamilton's press ganging of Bell's Bell on Tatton rival Neil Hamilton five minutes 14 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997 1 wish for his own sake Hamilton had resigned. I think it was very painful for him' mat after it begins. No time to controversial issue of Europe, and although celebrate, then? as mentioned, he advocates closer European "This first week is going to be involvement on foreign and defence a hectic round of trying to find a house and policies, he utters other opinions on a small office in the constituency," he Brussels that could have come from the admits. "Then there is getting sworn in as mouth of John Major himself. an MP, finding my way about, and indeed "My policies are fairly mainstream," he finding an office in Parliament." Not only admits, "but concerning further [European] does Bell have the problem of being a new integration and the single currency, I MP of very limited political experience, but believe that we were created an island race he will also sit in the Commons without for a reason. I am mildly Euro-sceptic. I guidance from any party as the first don't even take the Channel Tunnel because independent for 52 years. Yet despite what I prefer the ferry. I rather like the pound in might appear to be an overwhelming task my pocket, and I'm by no means persuaded ahead of him, Bell is already clear on how to change it for an ECU or an EMU or any life as a man of no political affiliation will other E word whatever." work out. "My original idea was to place Martin Bell is getting the hang of this myself, on alternative months, on different politics thing. Of course, there is one sides of the house," he states, "but as there conclusive acid test of the politician. The How did you spend vow Easter holidays? Leeds University are so many Labour MPs that they are going leading question. Dodge it. ignore it, simply to spill over onto the opposition bench it refuse to answer it. Dilute it, refute it, just politics student Mark Whittle spent three weeks as a seems reasonable to put myself between never say what you really think. So let's them and the opposition parties." return to the case of Neil Hamilton. A man central member of Martin Bell's campaign team... It should be apparent by now that Martin who defeated Bell in a war of words in front Bell is not just a figurehead politician or a of the world's media. A man whose wife Labour/ Liberal stalking horse imposed on harangued and hassled the beleaguered Bell Thursday April 10, 1997: banked yet, and everybody is (of which there are about 100 Tatton merely to remove Neil Hamilton. on national television. A man who, since After watching The Battle of paranoid about security. daily) will be scanned for letter While he is committed to the central ideal the election, has said he hopes Bell will Knutsford Heath.' decide to get bombs. of cleaning the sleaze from politics, he is reconsider his position as an MP should the involved in my constituency's Monday April 14: also determined that, by his second year in forthcoming Downey Report into the 'cash most unusual election since it's Go to Chelmsford Market to Friday April 25: office, he will be "the best Member of for questions' issue clear him of any formation. Compose CV and go to spy on Hamilton. He doesn't know In the evening the core team go Parliament the people here [Tatton] have misconduct. Go on, Mr Bell. What do you meet Bell at local hotel. Shown 'who I am. out for a meal. Already there is a ever had". He is firm in his stance on the really think of Neil Hamilton as a person? through to 'battle bunker' and feeling that we have won, and the "I find him a very hard man to admire." murmur something about helping. Tuesday April 15: drinks are flowing. If Hamilton's Somewhere inside the white suit and Feel well out of my depth. Today we try to nominate people had been watching we reporter's coolness is a politician trying Receive phone call an hour later ourselves as the 'anti-corruption* would have been in trouble! hard to climb out. Would the real Martin telling me to come in at I Oam the candidate. Hamilton pre-empts us Bell please be seated. next day. by threatening to slap an Saturday April 26: injunction on us if we try. This Campaigning in Wilmslow, and HROUGHOUT the conversation, Friday April 11: adds to the increasing paranoia in the longest day so far. The entire Bell speaks in the calm and assured A question ot what to wear. the camp that we have a Hamilton team is hungover from the Tmanner that you have heard Dress casually and put up posters spy in the core team, and we have previous night. Lose my voice emanating from your television set so often, for three weeks, or dress smartly a meeting In order to increase doing the megaphone and which will surely serve him well in the and persuade someone to give me security. loudspeaking from the 'battle Commons. His voice is as clear as the a serious responsibility. Go for bus.' proverbial and utterly unusable cliche. (A latter option. Wednesday April 16: rule which also applies to the use of the Jump at chance to go to press Nominate ourselves as the Monday April 28: word 'tolls' within a five line radius of the conference for Ralph Nicholas. 'independent candidate'. Hamilton Last week of the campaign sees former BBC journalist's surname.) It is a another independent candidate. still tries to object but his claims Martin ferried about with an voice that is hard to disbelieve. Pretend to be from a Manchester are rejected by the returning efficiency Blair would be proud Nevertheless, in a Parliament where Labour news agency to get into room. officer. We give a press of. Sneak into Hamilton's second holds 419 seats, can you, an independent Candidate something of a joke. conference in the afternoon about public meeting, but he is ready for MP, really make u difference, Mr Bell? Drive back to tell now full the pedantic nature of Hamilton's us and performs well. I begin to know I can make a difference in campaign team, including Melissa actions. wonder if he knows something Parliament. Just watch me." Bell. Feel important as I deliver that we don't. Somehow, you just have to agree with the accurate information. Thursday April 17: him. Get home and start waffling to Newsnight tries to organise a Wednesday April 30: my friends who have seen me on head to head with Hamilton. We Tremendous organisation of the local news. Realise that I'm accept in principle, and after lifts to the polls for elderly voters. going to ostracise them all in the waivers from the other eight Every vote counts, and the feeling next three weeks, no matter how candidates Hamilton pulls out at in the camp is that it is going to be hard I try. The price of fame... the last minute. This is most close. encouraging. Saturday April 12: Thursday May 1: Election Day. Feel pretty insignificant as a lot Friday April 18: Undoubtedly the most of professional people come to Hold a staff meeting in which intensive day of the campaign. 10 help today. Much insecurity in the one new volunteer is chucked out hours of manic canvassing. By the office as the volunteers - all for being abusive. He then sells time of the count we are all strangers to one another in the his story to the Manchester embarrassingly sunburnt, but morning - try to become the most Evening News. The team needs an quietly confident of victory. useful person to Martin. authoritative figure to hold the Lucky enough to be one of the team together. 30 counting agents allowed for Sunday April 13: Out on the campaign trail, the each agent. After the first box Event of the day: Christine public is most enthusiastic. comes in the result seems definite. Hamilton comes into the office to By the time all the votes are deliver what will be the first of Saturday April 19: counted, the expression on the many legal threats. Everybody in Horrible article in The face of Kate Jones (Election the office too inexperienced at this Guardian that describes us as a Agent) gives it away. It's the first point to heckle or argue with her. Blue Peter campaign. It is time she has looked completely All too overawed to say anything extremely true, and leaves us all relaxed in the entire campaign. other than 'thankyou' and be rattled. Incredible cheer when the grateful that she leaves the office result is announced. I sneak out to quietly. Sunday - Tuesday April 20 - 22: an unmarked car and wait for Sleep in the office tonight to Speak to MI5 about security Martin to come out of the back guard the safe and arrangements. Martin is worried entrance. We rush back to correspondence. Already we have about a possible IRA security Knutsford for a final gathering of received the maximum amount we threat in the office. We decide that the entire team. Try to soak up the are legally allowed to spend on the Martin will always travel in an momentous occasion and the party campaign (£8500). It has not been unmarked car. and that all parcels begins! inside: politics 16-17 science 18 Friday May 9. 1 /r SIMON JEFFERY fter Franco died, or so the story goes, Spain exploded Awith a pent-up passion for ife and young people started to ook for new ways to express themselves. This was the Movida Madrilena ;the Madrid Scene) and it gave )irth to Spain's first youth culture, throwing up a number of artists and ictors including Antonio Banderas and film maker Pedro Almodovar, who directed Mujeres al horde dc in ataquc de newios. otherwise cnown as Women at the Edge of a Mervous Breakdown. Most characteristic of the scene's nightlife w as the Saiir de 'opas habit - which translates, rather unexcitingly. as going out for a drink. The big attraction was hat you could drink from Friday to Saturday or Saturday to Sunday. Jnsurprisingly it caught on and spread to the rest of the country. That isn't all young Spaniards do. There are also the discotecas filled with happy-go-lucky house - London is a city with many different sides and ish music overlaid with distinctly unsoullul vocals and key changes o w here you really wouldn't want Ijrauel J characters. LYDIA SHAW defends her own version them. O foreign We still spent summer days on Hampstead Healh. hut this time visitors it is we were looking at the boys or the first gelling horribly drunk and destination in ALL ABOUT : taking over the children's TEngland, to It's expensive to get the train from I .eeds. particularly in the early morning. But. there's a deal miming paddling pool. ()ne They used to call it Eurobeat - where up to four people can travet-for fS'MTh ress coach goes to Golders particular friend was unusually now we know it as bacalao and it is Northerners it seems Green and Victoria. £17, or£13.''5Jw|th/acfflsch^ahl. rv ^ tall and had an env iable amount :hc sound of Spain 'c)7. Take heed. to be a mere step up HampsteadHeath is serviced b> |oatls\ofl»iis|roul4s,[julj I .ondon line trains. It's one of of facial hair For years he The bacalao re\olution began in the nicest places in I .ondon to btlihVaice Id would be sent to buy alcohol for "93 with Madrid clubbers driving from hell, but to me, Riiiiiiiiiiul is renowned for its great pubs and is a rehixed. Sunday afternoon kind of place half of North London. to Valencia on Sunday mornings to London is home. I Cainden Market: apparently one of London's top tourist attractions, it's massive and continues to However, the day finally came leai -the beat go on. The 11101. accept the common expand, although you won't find the same excitement and new ideas that you could a few years when we fell confident enough .ietween the two cities became ago. You can now buy 'I've been to Cainden t-shirts." Still, it's cheap and cheerful. to like, yon know, "go as La Kuta del Biudliin complaints about my Worth a visil: National Gallery. It's huge, has loads of excellent paintings and it's free. The K, clubbing". .And I loved it. and, according to legend, had as city - too big, too much Acwlciny\ summer exhibition is worth seeing depite its cii Back then. DMs, blur and many nightclubs as service stations traffic, too many Food: Some of the best restaurants are found in Salio and they're not as expensive as you might shoega/ing were not as sad as th• e middle Tories in turmoil. Outlook assesses the leadership contenders while TINA BURRETT meets former Health Secretary Stephen Dorrell and KEN CLARKE: 56 politics asks if he could be the right tonic. Illustration by DANIEL HARNESS WITH Michael 'Tarzan' Heseltine out of the HE shattering Conservative coalition requires Heseltine's withdrawal owing early onset of the menopause". by ruling out a single currency reckoning with a dicky us to attract broad based to a heart scare. Usually a smooth political in 1999. The comment was ticker canny Ken spots the defeat suffered support. The Conservative Stephen Dorrell squandered operator, Dorrell's motivation retracted almost before it had chance to become the new by the Party will not succeed if it much of this reputation as a for speaking on an issue way chance to pass the Health T becomes a sectional interest." safe option as leader with his outside his portfolio was Secretary's lips. Pressed on the left wing king of the Tory Conservatives last party jungle. Having The John Major with A- gaffes shortly before the questioned by more reason for his gaffe Stephen adopted a pragmatic, week has left the party levels label bestowed on election on devolution and a machiavellian minded Dorrell would only say "It was cautious and essentially hurting. Stephen Stephen Dorrell by his single currency. In commentators. Dorrell claims a mistake". "The Conservatives successful approach to the Dorrell, the Tory's last colleagues is a fair one. Like contradiction with the party line he was asked to engage in the will keep our options open on a economy since 1993 the Major the dull public image is he claimed a Scottish debate by the Party Chairman, single currency," John Major beer swilling, cigar puffing Health secretary, is betrayed in private by a parliament would be others claim the order came echoed his minister's words, lad from Nottingham has keen to convince the pleasant and from much higher, terming Dorrell's comment, "A aroved his worth. He has party only he can heal even witty from the Prime very human mistake". achieved what nobody disposition. Minister himself. When a politician admits to bought was possible; low their wounds and put Stephen Surely John Major a mistake it is a sure sign it was nflation and low them on the road to Dorrell may 'Dorrell - wasn't trying to up anything but. If Stephen Dorrell mployment. recovery. be too much the profile of a is to gain the mantle of Yet the Chancellor of Split from top to like his former trusted ally to leadership he has to broaden his the Exchequer has been leader for his John Major promote him as appeal beyond the wet wing of accused of loosing his bottom and experiencing own good. leader in the wake the party. His attack on a single >arty the General Election. fraied nerves the Tories Many Tories of election defeat? If currency could be interpreted as t was some say, his need a leader who can are asking so the Prime a cunning attempt to prove his European gaffs that helped unit what is left of the 'what is the with A-levels' Minister needn't Eurosceptic credentials to the plit the government and use of have wasted his right wing of the party. The l>ring about the Labour parliamentary party. Now replacing one time - within days of man who introduced the landslide. is not the time for heroes grey man with another one'. irreversible. "You can't the devolution debacle Dorrell national lottery, Stephen In many ways this is has provided the stage for the bull to charge. Best remembered for his rant against single mothers, the ex- Social Security Secretary has impressed with his management of a £9()m budget. He may already have his eye on the job of Chancellor in a Howard government. For dark horse read old nag. JOHN REDWOOD: The man who bravely stixxl against honest John in the Summer of 1995 has always hinted he would like another crack at the big pri/.e. The vulcun hero of the Tory right now aims to fight off the might of the Howard force and boldly take hos part) into a new generation and beyond.. MICHAEL HOWARD: 55 The ex-Home Secretary looks set to head the challenge of the Euro- sceptic right wing of the party. His public image radiates smarm, yet in private he is said to be the personification of charm. As if to bear testimony he is married to a I96()'s model; needless to say his ability to provide the unexpected may serve him well. He would have preferred to have PETER LILLEtt 53: been Chancellor, but has had to make his mark at the Home Office. The man who reluctantly backed Here he clashed with a certain Mr Major in the 1995 coiucsi completes Blair, what price for a re-run? the trio of 'bastards'. A declared Thatcherite: the party conference Jacob Mickey Apply now fip A '.mem to a Europe of right, the majority of the their part) too similar to New The European parliamentary party will be Labour. and should not more comfortable with Howard Contra) to his dull image become a federation." or Hague. Stephen Dorrell has his The dry inL irrell "The Conservative Party flamboyant side. An • e wets towards must be a national party that accomplished pilot he wants to Ken Clarke who has speaks on behalf of the centre be the party's captain. Other consistent!) championed their right majority of the British high fliers could cause under cause. The extreme right will people." currents to turn his complex Recruiting lively, outgoing young people be beamed up by John The Tories might worry that stunts into a nose dive. Only Redwood and the moderate as leader Dorrell would make time will tell. for bar work The image ol the 16-year-old throne leading their part) to Support is seemingly Excellent rates of pay prodigy at the 1977 Conservative glory. Both also learned their available from every quarter; Party Conference has become an trade as junior ministers in the including the right.Following the enduring one. Hven Hague Department of Social Security; dumping of leadership contender himsell recalls the occasion as once tilled the same post. Michael Portillo, votes are up for "thai speech". Speaking with a The house di\ ided against grabs.The natural share of these lilt reminiscent ol Haiuld Wilson, Hsell iheor) is well \ersed but would be among Redwood, the young 'loiy traced ihe sleps Ihe reined) lor it is not as Howard and possibly Lilley but Flights paid of the former Labour 1'iiiiir available. All the candidates for Alan Duncan, a strong right Ministei again in h lie ihe iln- leadership have declared their winger, is an old friend of VOUngesI cu-i ( 'abun-l nnin will in unit) the part). Despite Hague's and he may drag others From this day forward he was his concihaloi) iilfei ot a free with him. Send CV, photograph and S.A.E. to tipped as a fuluie I'liiui- Mmi-.i' i \olc. ('larke is a declared During the election campaign but it is only now. ilial me door io Liiioplnle. and Ihe position ol a woman presented the former power has been Ion i-d ,i|ai Redwood needs no icileralion. Welsh Secretary with a 1o\e JULIET IIZUKA Hague also has conn ulrni <- Hague hs contrast is in man) token'- it was eventually mi his side. As the dark horse ol .HI enigma, an unknown ic\ealed as a wooden spoon. The the contest he mmnr, llie use ol (|ii.iiilii\ and this could work in prophecy then was apt, but the 101 White Lion Street his two pit his lavour. In short. Hague could time is near when the man from Thatcher and lohn \1;i|oi who nl w lieu1 lohn Major the Yorkshire dales conies of age Islington London Nl 9PF were in many ways unknown iiliiin.iii-ls lailcd, by uniting the and doles out such awards Closong date for applications June 7th, 1997 quantities and yel aSi rndcd in ihe himself. Out/oofr] I ^ — Michael Fish RIP ID you know that a butterfly in China Dflapping its wings can cause a storm in the Atlantic? This notion sounds weird but is a key prediction of the new science of chaos. The butterfly effect was first proposed by a meteorologist. F.d Lorent/, in 1974. Lorent/ had been trying to model very simple weather systems on his computer, using simple dynamic equations and a handful ol variables, like pressure and temperature. Back in the '70s. computers weren't as 10\verfuI as the\ are now. and tinning a simulation like this ook a lot of time. Lorentz decided to hurry he process along one evening md reduced the accuracy of he numbers that were being nit in to start the model from ix decimal places to four. "his. he decided, was a ninuscule change in the input conditions and shouldn't effect the general outcome. ie couldn't have been more wrong. The results of this new •simulation were initially very similar to the earlier ones, but Wake up to reality as time went on, the results diverged hugely from the ^•^^^gj^v previous behaviour. What you see is not what you get. ALEX KIBBLE O investigates the glaring anomalies in our perception of science, the world around us and decides to tell it like it is AVE you ever only vertical stripes. When these to understand that there are no information and intelligence that yourself from anything kittens grew up to be wise old colours in the real world. That constantly is renewing itself and physically or anybody that has been caught cats, it turned out that one group there are no textures in the real is in exchange with the larger ever existed. pondering over of cats could see only a world. There is no beauty, there field of energy and information In just the last three weeks, a H horizontal world while the other is no ugliness. Nothing of the we call the utiiverse. quadrillion atoms have gone your pint questions like group of cats could see only a sort. Out there is a chaos of If you could understand your through your body that have "what is the mind, vertical world. They were energy soup and energy fields. body as it really is, you would gone through the body of every Lorentz concluded that Literally. We take that and see that the real you are not the other species on this planet. even an infinitesimal change what's the exact nature imprisoned by a fixed mode of of reality?" perception. somewhere inside ourselves we same flesh and bones because in Luckily for those of us with the n the input conditions to such create a world. Somewhere every second of your existence more alcoholic pastimes, we a weather system, such as a There are many variations of Being hit in the face by these experiments. In India, when inside ourselves it all happens." you're renewing your body, make new livers every six weeks. iny change in air pressure such mighty philosophical It's not out there at all! Go to changing it more rapidly and Skin is shed and replaced once a due to the flapping of a they train elephants, they take the questions is not a daily baby elephant and tie it with an a physicist and ask him what's more effortlessly than you can month, and even our rapidly lutterfly's wings, would this made up of? And he'll tell change your clothes. completely change the long- occurrence admittedly, but iron chain to a huge tree. Then depleting brain cells weren't erm behaviour of the system. something most have they start cutting the size of the you there are just four basic We can take a number of there one year ago. The DNA chain and the tree. Ultimately forces: gravity, strong interaction. processes: eating, breathing, that holds memories of millions By deleting those two considered at some stage. decimal places. Lorentz at a you can tie the ^^^^^^^^_ digestion and of years of evolutionary time; the Science today asks the grown you would see actual raw material of it comes keystroke removed all hope of same questions. One of the long range weather elephant with how and goes every six weeks. forecasting. It was clear thai interesting things that science a flimsy rope You have a million atoms effortlessly, So here we are with our 1997 any model of a weather has found, is that what we call to a green how easily you models, yet we don't feel that we system depended critically on perception, what we sec. hear. plant but the can change weren't here last year. We have the initial conditions. touch, taste, and smell, is elephant is once in the body of Christ, \ our body and memories and dreams that were Of course, the Earth's really the least reliable test of unable to in fact are doing there last year, that were there escape. It's weather depends on a mind- what reality really is. We so all the time. two years ago. So maybe the made a The body is merely the place our numbingly huge number of cannot trust our senses at all. Einstein or Michelangelo perceptual physical bodies memories are calling home for variables. From obvious After all, the senses tell us things like the heat energy commitment " that you're the time being. that the earth is flat and we don't that it's in a prison! weak interaction and using reading this paper, for We know that DNA is also provided by the sun. to tiny believe that anymore. The senses All these experiments ap- electromagnetism making up example, aren't the ones that you just that place our evolutionary influences like say, the tell us that the ground that we pointing lo a very crucial fact as everything that exists. picked the paper up with a little memory is calling home for the gravitational pull of Jupiter, stand on is stationary and we or Pluto, or all those distant far as the mechanics ol Everything thai is there: all while ago. Even with one breath time being. Some suggest all know it's spinning at dizzying perception is concerned. Our human beings, everything that galaxies. There's no way that speeds and hurtling through outer you take in 10 to the power of 22 physical molecules have the initial sensory experiences, and exists is just these forces of phenomenon of consciousness we can compute all of these space at thousands of miles an atoms. An astronomical amount influences at the moment. So how we interpret them, actually nature. If you could see the body of raw material that ends up as and some scientists are beginning hour. The senses tell us things structure the very makeup of our again as a physicist could see it, it's obvious that the scientific have a certain taste, smell or size your heart, brain and kidney to theorise it is consciousness basis of long-term weather nervous system in such a way all you'd see is atoms. The cells, your neurons, your DNA. which is the phenomenon which but this is our perception, and that ultimately the nervous particles, that make up the atoms, forecasting was totally probably not a true representation With each breath you breathe out conceives, governs, constructs undermined by Lorentz. system serves only one function: aren't material objects at all. the same number of atoms. and actually becomes physical of the world around us. to keep reinforcing the initial They are fluctuations of energy Forecasting became an art, There was an experiment Technically speaking, we are matter. rather than a science. interpretation. Anything that and information in a huge void of intimately sharing our organs So, it's all empty space. It's done about 20 years ago. A doesn't reinforce the initial energy and information. A huge When Michael Fish group of scientists took some with each other all the time. very obvious that this empty dismissed the possibility of interpretation doesn't get a look empty void with a few scattered Based on mathematical space is not an emptiness ol kittens and brought them up in a in. dots and a leu random electrical THAT storm striking Britain, room that had only horizontal computations it can easily be nothing but a hive of activity. a butterfly was flapping its So what's the real nature of discharges here and there. shown that in this moment of Nature goes back exactly to the stripes so the only visual stimuli the world? What's it really like? Despite this, the human body wings in Kowloon Bay. in the room were horizontal. your existence you have a same place to create a rain forest, Sir John Eckles. who won a is not a frozen sculpture fixed in million atoms lhat were once in as it goes to create a thought. It's . Barry McKernan Another group of kittens was Nobel prize several years ago space and time. The human body brought up in a room that had the b(xly of Christ. Einstein or nowhere, it's everywhere, and it's made the statement. "I want you is a dynamic bundle ol energy. Michelangelo. You can't separate the same place. LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997 19 Write in to Helen , PO Box 157, Leeds University Union, Leeds, LS1 1UH Alternatively, hand your message to the porters, marked for the attention of don't get mad, get personal Leeds Student or leave a message anytime, night or day on 231 4251 xxxxx Oi you! The Murray Walker of the Poly You slars. One of those let's-do-a-paper-in- PERSONALS ARE FREE Roek Night - Monday 12th - LUU Harvey Bop. Get lost, you and your trendy glasses! one night weeks and we still managed to let l Milk Bar. )pm-5()p members - £1.50 non I'flunz and Regan, why didn't you make Quinn do his Hyde Park ad. Thanks I'm Simply write a message below & hand it to the porters at LUU or post it member-.. an appearance? If the office can't come another stirring effort. 1 detect the slippers D.IB - Happy birthday, love and much to the party, then you should come to it. and pipe are not lar away now. Enjoy your to get personal, Leeds Student, LUU, PO Box 157, Leeds, LSI 1UH more love from R.IB. Feller, you were absent on WEDNESDAY last weeks of liberty, Mr Hast. Cheers. Mat i don't f!;*k with me) Straw, a crime night?!'.'!'.' Did my short cut scare you virgin no more, breaking the law brings a au.iv ' whole new perspective You seem so much more masculine and able to cope with those geaisiicks. vou can be mv rogue sheep anyday. Nice discovery big boy! Watch those white line - it's for the best, eh? With kissesand glitter ball s from'1 \\\ To a dcperate D.I, I'm afraid that you're far too spicy for me! Huge assets you may have, but 1 prefer quality ti quantitiy! Your mate. K.C. Dear Daddy. Happy birthday from JOJo and Isaac. ATTKNTION! MKTRO SIT DIO 2. 1.3cc, Key 'N°. Metallic grey. Service IVIightline history. Full MOT. low milegt, sun roof. .\ngr> cabbage buyer. Mr Atkinson has Dominic - Hallway to filly, happy bulbil.i\ R/cassette carried out extensive research and male, from (ieeta. Best Metro you've ever seen. First to view concludes Ostriches hurt their heads to Daddy started out in San !• nmcisco. will buy at £1,500. Tel: (11423 879 27S become invisible to natural predators. Trip to Liverpool Kra/y house - by popular New at Strawberry-fields Bistro - Salsa is 21 years old this term. Potato Buyer. demand it's another ROC'KSOC organised Mexican dishes - try them, scrummy. Johnny, do you know what Mr. Spice calls trip to the Kra/thouse on 17th May. Tickets Hrasmus student network invue ALL Celebrations in the you behind your hack? - Johnny Big I.imhs! available in LIT. jusl outside the Har\ey crasmus students and Leeds Students who - Stop listening to what he says, gel off \ our Milk Bar. t!4 members. £5 non-members. have been/or are going on 1-rasmus to a ind stop pleading with me, enough is The Rythmn of Life is coming to Leeds. Euroquiz and wine evening. \Vcds. I4lh May Riley SmithHall.Tuesday 13th May. enough! Line and kisses troin Little Miss come lo the Kra/\ house. at 4-6pm. Belton Lounge. Luu. Only 50p! Trouble upparanlK ). OOvarvoo - Happy 21st birthday Midweek party package - 4 bottles of Pils 11am. Rock Night - Monday 12th - Lilt Harvey Richard - have a fabulous day in and 2 double Vodkas for £5. Doubles Milk Bar. 9pm-50p members - £1.50 non Blackpool on Saturday. Lots of love & £1.10 every evening at Stawberryfields members. kisses - Frampton, Friends and Horns (upstairs). Free food and condoms for every party goer!! 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For further information please 'offer cannot be used in conjuction with any other By Appointment to meet your deadlines contact: SPW, 17 Dean's Yard, London, SW1P TURNING BODY PIERCING INTO AN ART 3PB, te 1:0171 222 0138, email: 12A Cliff Mount, Woodhouse, Leeds, LS6 2HP Contact Toni on (0113) 230 4153 (24 hour answerphone available) [email protected] (SPW is a registered charity - no.292492) 0113 225 0405 HEADINGLEY BASED > TUB PEDALO RIDING fflGH THE REFEREE EDALO mood claiming that "Clive Barrett has a better team." and ALBION have that his "Liverpool defenders I CREAM OF THE CROP H slowly, surely are having a bad run." P "I'm surprised to be doing so and silently caught well but not expecting to win," and overtaken the he said. 1 CHRIS BIRKENSHAW PEDALO ALBION 299 long term leaders of Middlesborough will be that they would come good in the end." 2 CLIVE BARRETT CHAPLAIN'S CHAPS 297 the Total Football fighting for Premiership 3 RAJINDER BHARIJ THE GANJA GURUS 294 survival on Sunday against According to Mrs Birkinshaw| 4 SIMON BENT WATFORD RULE 284 league. Leeds. A heavy defeat, with Chris is "pleased to be top, and 5 KEVIN DUFFY BLUE MOON 276 Christopher Birkinshaw Leeds letting in goals would be over the moon. "I am) 6 JAMES FEARN HOT PANT HEROES 267 is now favourite for the disastrous for Clive Barrett not sure how he would spend 7 RICHARD GRAY BOB 262 £500 cash prize. His team, although the Chaplain still has a the money if he won," she said. 8 IAN PICKERING GREAT CORNHOLIO FC 259 chance of victory. May 11 could give us many 9 GLEN DICKIN GLEN'SHOTSHOTS 258 Pedalo Albion, have surprises. Could it be that yet 10 MARKWOODROW THE WOODIES 255 amassed 24 points this another team comes from 11= ANDREW CLAPTON SHOOTING STARS 254 Pressure ROBIN HEAD A.F.C. LINCHPINS 254 week and overcome the relative obscurity to top the TF Rajinder is a Manchester 13 JONATHAN TOBIAS SPORTING SIDEBURNS 253 once-widening gap at the league? Man Utd's top Gunnar celebrates 14 PAUL THOMAS BORN OF PELE 252 United fan and believes that 15= PENNY HAWKINS MUSTANG SALLY 251 top. with the pressure off, the JON BEZIQUE HOLLAND BANKCHEQUE 251 The former league leaders Champions will score freely, 16 IAN COVENTRY GELLER MUST BE RIGHT 250 made differing comments helping the Gurus. Even taking 17= ANDY SHEEN DUNC SINGS THE BLUES 247 before today's league table these possibilities into THE TF CUP KEITH BARDSLEY MARK CATER SCORES 247 was revealed. The crusading consideration, it is Christopher 18 JIM STEWART STEWART'S STUNNERS 246 Birkenshaw that has pedalled ROSLYN NISBET AYR UNITED 19=ADRIANKEELER BDBMFK WMHSF 245 Chaplain said he would be ROY J. TURLAND BATTY STUTA INDERJ IT SINGH WHAT'S YER PROBLEM? 245 his way to pole position with BACKFOURWARD 244 "confident of winning if only one week left. MARK BOND BOND BLITZERS 2I = DANNY MILLS Leeds stay sure at the back," DAVE BUTLER DJ FOOTBALL 244 Christopher, currently in IAN PICKERING GREAT CORNHOLIO FC 23= ADAM POWELL DIAMOND WALNUTS 243 although he is "nervous of France, was tracked down by GEMMA SMITH GEMMA'S GEMS BEN SHOTTON BENZINHO'S DRIBBLERS 243 Ole Gunnar Solskjaers goals his mother who passed on the A. POLLARD JET SOCCER ASSOCIATION BEN HARTLEY RIN TIN TIN 243 of late." good news. HUMPHREY YIU CR - UNITED DANIEL HARRINGTON BOY RIZLA STRIKES AGAIN243 "He is shocked and ania/ed J.CAYLEY MAD FOR IT 27 REBECCA MITCHELL MUM PICKED THESE 241 Disastrous to be top of the Total Football 28= PAUL JENNINGS JENNING'S GIANTS 239 league," she told us. JONATHAN STOKES WEST PARK WANDERERS 239 29 ANDREW HOLLAND ROVERS...GOING DOWN HA238 Rajinder Bharij, whose "Initially he had every These are the eight teams left in the TF CUP which has Ganga Gurus had held second confidence in his team, however spot for many weeks, has been taking place during the season. Due to a fixture pile as time went by he lost hope, V up 4 rounds took place during the caster break J Solskjaer within his ranks. though he always had a feeling However, he is in less confident ^E- 3 WEEK 1 7 PLAYERS SCORES: Half a grand in your hand next week? ^J 058 DORIGO LEE 3 13 105 1)1 BERRY cm o 5 165 PL ATT ARS 0 16 229 STAMP MID 0 -7 289 NDLOVU COV 0 7 059 HARTE LEE 0 5 106 SINCLAIR CHE 2 5 166 PARLOUR ARS 0 3 vrO3lKGCpCrS 060 MCATEER LIV 0 14 107 1.1 1 CHE 0 4 167 Hl-.l DI R ARS 0 0 231 BEARDSLEY NEW 0 28 291 GABBIADINI DER 0 -1 ^^ ^^V 061 BJORNEBYE LIV 0 19 108 DA1SII COV 0 10 168 VIEIRA ARS -1 13 232 G1NOLA NEW 013 292 WARD DER 0 24 r 00 1 SEAMAN ARS 0 18 062 R JONES LIV 0 0 109 SHAW COV -1 6 169 DRAPER AST 0 9 231 LEE NEW 0 34 293 WILLEMS DER 0 3 002 BARTRAM ARS 0 0 063 IRWIN MAU -3 8 IIO STIMAC DER 0 -7 170 CURCIC AST -1 -1 234 G1LLESP1E NEW -3 10 294 FERGUSON EVE -1 14 003 BOSNICH AST -2 18 064 G NEVILLE MAU 1 6 III LAURSEN DER 0 -6 171 TOWNSEND AST -2 4 235 CLARK NEW 0 7 295 STUART EVE 0 13 004 OAKES AST 0 12 065 P NEVILLE MAU -1 -6 112 UNSWORTH EVE 0 -2 172 TAYLOR AST -2 7 236 BATTY NEW -III 296 R1DEOUT EVE 0 1 005 FLOWERS BLA -1 16 066 COX MID Oil 113 WATSON EVE -2 3 173 FARRELLY AST 0 2 237 WOAN NOF 0 -8 297 BRANCH EVE 0 6 WHERE AMI? 006 GIVEN BLA 0 3 067 FLEMING MID -4 -1 114 SHORT EVE 0 6 174 DONIS BLA 0 4 238 STONE NOF 0 0 298 YEBOAH LEE 0 -2 007 KHARINE CHE 0 0 068 BRANCO MID 0 0 115 PALMER LEE 0 -9 175 BOH1NEN BLA 0 4 239 GEMMILL NOF -l-ll 299 RUSH LEE Oil 008 HITCHCOCK CHI 0 -3 069 WATSON NEW 1 15 116 WETHERALL LEE 3 28 176 WILCOX BLA 0 6 240 BART-WILLIAMS NOF 03 300 DEANE LEE 0 15 009 OGRIZOVIC COV -1 5 070 ELLIOTT NEW 7 14 117 JOBSON LEE 0 0 177 SHERWOOD BLA 1 14 241 PHILLIPS NOF 0 -2 301 WALLACE LEE 0 II OIO FILAN COV 0 0 -^ <^__ • 118 RADEBE LEE 3 25 178 TOWNSEND BLA 0 0 242 BLINKER SWY -2 0 302 CLARIDGE LEI 1 28 j^i Oil HOULT DER 0 -6 rn-n ^tek^k^^^^ft.^ i ^d 1 19 PEMBERTON LEE 0 0 179 WARHL1RST BLA 0 2 243 PEMBR1DGE SWY -4 13 303 HESKEY LEI 1 16 LJ I ^t ^^/u} f-'rc OI2 SOUTHALL EVE -2 -4 r j«fc2 jMHHBIhr HI 1 20 WALSH LEI 3 10 180 DI MATTEO CHE 0 12 244 SHERIDAN SWY 0 0 304 MARSHALL LEI 3 20 013 GERRARD EVE 5 *BBi • 21 WATTS LEI 0 0 181 WISE CHE 0 6 245 HYDE SWY 0 4 305 FOWLER LIV 0 42 OI4 MARTYN LEE 3 38 •Jl Ul I fi 'If \ I 22 PRIOR LEI 0 -8 182 PEACOCK CHE 0 0 246 OAKES SWY -14 306 BERGER LIV .3 9 OI5 BEENEY LEE 0 3 ^•^••••Kk ^1 • • 23 WRIGHT LIV 0 12 1 83 MORRIS CHE 0 -4 247 COLLINS SWY 0 3 307 COLLYMORE LIV 1 31 016 KELLER LEI -1 1 •JMdl I 24 BABB LIV 0 6 184 BURLEY CHE 0 6 248 LETISSIER SOT 3 23 308 L JONES LIV 0 0 OI7 POOLE LE! -1 -6 EhTo$ scores! I 25 MATTEO LIV 0 9 185 MCALLISTER COV 2 3 249 MAGILTON SOT 1 -4 309 CANTONA MAU 3 39 50 232 018 JAMES LIV 0 16 H 26 SCALES LIV -1 5 186 JESS COV 0 -7 250 HEANEY SOT 0 -6 310 SOLSKJAER MAU 9 47 019 WARNER LIV o to become Kai^M i 27 RUDDOCK LIV -1 13 187 O'NEILL COV 0 0 251 SLATER SOT 0 -4 311 SCHOLES MAU 0 14 020 SCHMEICHEL MAU -3 9 player of the F J 28 PALLISTER MAU -3 9 188 RICHARDSON COV 0 -4 252 OAKI.1'1 SOT 1 9 312 COLE MAU 2 26 100 216 02 1 VAN DER GOUW M \l 0 - 1 13 • 29 MAY MAU -3 15 189 TELFER COV -l-ll 253 GRAY SUN 3-1 313 RAVANELLI MID 6 31 022 MILLER MID 0 -3 week • 30 JOHNSEN MAU -2 7 190 WILLIAMS COV -1 -5 254 AC.N'E'W SUN 0 2 314 BARMBY MID 17 021 WAI Sll MM) 0 -8 hJaB 204 1 071 BARTON NEW 3 6 131 PEARSON MID -3 -6 150 0 4 SRNK'I' K NEW 1 1 3 191 ASANOVIC DER 0 9 255 RAE SUN 0 .7 315 FJORTOFT MID 0 2 072 BERESEORD NEW 3 9 32 VICKERS MID 0-14 192 SIMPSON 025 KlSl.OP NEW 0 2 DER 0 -1 256 BRACEWELL SUN 211 316 SHEARER NEW 063 073 PEARCE NOF 0 4 133 WHYTE MID 0 -9 193 VANDERLAAN 026 CROSSLEY NOF 0 0 DER 0 1 257 ANDERTON TOT 16 317 FERDINAND NEW -1 39 074 LYTTLE NOF 0 4 134 WHELAN MID 0 -2 194 POWELL 258 FOX TOT 0 -3 318 ASPRILLA NEW -117 200 194 027 FETTIS NOF 0 3 DER 0 -8 075 HAALAND NOF 0 II 135 ALBERT NEW 0 14 195 DAILLY 259 HOWELLS TOT -1 -2 319 KITSON NEW 13 2') 028 I'RESSMAN SWY -4 6 DER 0 8 076 NOLAN SWY -4 5 NEW 0 0 029 BEASANT SOT 0 -4 136 HOWEY 196 ROWETT DER 3 -4 260 DOZZELL TOT -11 320 ROY NOF 2 7 250 188 077 ATHERTON SWY -4 7 137 PEACOCK NEW 3 15 030 COTON SUN 0 - 1 197 KANCHELSKIS EVE 0 13 261 NIEI SI N TOT 0 10 321 CAMPBELL NOF 0 4 078 NICOL SWY -4 1 031 WALKER TOT -1 8 138 COOPER NOF 0 -4 198 SPEED EVE -3 17 262 SINTON TOT -1 4 322 SAUNDERS NOF 0 6 079 DODD SOT 0 2 il'- MIKLOSKO WHA 0 6 139 CHETTLE NOF -1 2 199 EBBRELL EVE 0 -2 263 DUMITRESCU WHA 0 0 323 LEE NOF 0 -1 300 181 0X0 HENALI S( II 12 033 SULLIVAN WIM 0 3 140 JERKAN NOF 0 -3 200 PARKINSON "EVE 0 -2 264 BISHOP WHA 0 -2 324 HUMPHREYS SWY 0 4 081 Kl HICK! SUN 0 .5 034 HEALD WIM 0 - 1 141 STEFANOV1C SWY 0 8 201 LIMPAR EVE 0 0 !65 HUGHES WHA 0 -5 325 BOOTH SWY 0 26 0X2 SCOTT SUN 0 -X 142 WALKER SWY -4 10 202 SAMWAYS EVE 0 0 266 MOSCI R WHA 4 5 326 HIRST SWY 0 19 U\J\s150 1751 / U 083 U'STIN TOT -1 4 143 TRUSTFULL SWY 0 20 2(13 SHARPS LEE 0 13 267 LAZARIDES WHA 4 3 327 WH1TTINGHAM SWY 0 4 Wing-backs 084 WILSON TOT 0 1 144 NEWSOME SWY 0 6 204 HOW VI R LEE -1 3 268 WILLIAMSON WHA 0 -1 328 BRIGHT SWY (1 0 085 EDINBURGH TOT 0 7 45 V10NKOU SOT 0 10 205 GRAY LEE 0 0 \RLE WIM 0 II 329 SHIPPERLEY SOT 0 4 400 170 0<5 DIXON ARS -1 26 0X6 DICKS WHA 0 17 1 16 VI NISON SOT 0 0 206 EORD LEE 0 2 270 LEONHARDSEN WIM 3 17 3.30 WATSON SOT 0 2 A C f\ •4 /"*f (l<6 WINTERBURN ARS 0 23 087 BREACKER WHA 0 0 147 NEILSON SOT 0 7 207 COUZENS LEE 0 2 271 GAYLE WIM 0 23 331 OSTENSTADT SOT 1 39 450 1o5 037 STAUNTON AST -4 29 088 BOWEN WHA 0 1 ix DIO DI N SOT 3 5 208 PARKER LEI 0 0 272 JONES WIM 0 16 3.32 QUINN SUN 0 0 038 WRIGHT AST -2 30 089 ['HATCHER WIM 0 1 149 LUNDEK\ \\1 SOT 3 1 209 IZZET LEI 0 2 273 ARDLEY WIM 0 3 333 STEWART SUN 4 X cnn ~i cn 039 CHARLES AST I) 0 090 CUNNINGHAM WIM 0 2 ISO MELVII 1 1 SI \ 0 -2 210 LENNON LEI 0 2 334 RUSSELL SUN 0 13 OUU 1 ^7^7 0 111 NELSON AST 2 30 091 PERRY WIM -1 5 151 ORD SIX 3 4 211 TAYLOR LEI 0 1 Saturday May 10 Nationwide League Play-offs Division One CrvMal Palace v Wolves Sheffield Utd v Ipswich Sunday May 11 FA Carting Premiership (4.00pm) Aston Villa v Southampton Blackburn v Leicester Derby v Arsenal Everton v Chelsea I .ceds v Middlesbrough Manchester Utd v West Ham Newcastle v Nott'm Forest Shef'f Wednesday v Liverpoo Tottenham v Coventry Wimbledon v Sunderland FALLING FROM THE SKY: Simon Brentford from LMU and his colleagues plummet through the clouds in spectactular four-way formation over the Florida landscape. The group was in the United States over Easter to train for the Northern Collegiate Championships in which they finished second to a team including LUU's Andy Reynolds. Simon is now set to train in St Petersburg, Russia, for the national tournament to be held in Scunthorpe this summer A day at the Crucible Nationwide League Play-offs BEN EAST went to Sheffield to see Rocket Ronnie et al Division Two THE Embassy World dodgy street sellers bombarding Broadcast car park, which a table for a while and then sit Ronnie O'Sullivan held his head Crewe v Luton Snooker Championships unsuspecting passers-by with obscured snooker's venue of down again a few minutes later in his hands for a full five Bristol City v Brentford 1997. Doesn't have quite cries of "£5 for your souvenir T- legends to all but the keenest of to drink their beer. Why Paul minutes. Nobody spoke. the same ring as Euro 96 shirts". eyes. Gascoigne isn't world champion Going to see the snooker at And Sheffield certainly Embassy must be is a mystery to me... The Crucible will never be akin does it? And don't the good hadn't transformed itself into a encouraging more 15-year-olds Like football, television to seeing your team at Wembley. people of Sheffield know it. cosmopolitan, continental city to smoke than ever to be able to doesn't do the game justice But the very fact that it is a bit No banners on every especially for the occasion. award £210,000 to champion Opening the theatre doors and shabby, and well, cheap, gives it lamppost proclaiming that There was no street cafe Ken Doherty on Monday. And walking down the stairs towards its charm. You can pay less than snooker's finest are in town. No atmosphere welcoming the you can bet the bosses at the your seat as Doherty was about a tenner and be assured of nations here, although a Thai BBC have been kept in enough to break was a feeling akin to seeing world class snooker. The restaurant did have in their free fags to kill them by, ooh, that surge of excitement you got thrill of actually seeing, and window a grubby picture of their mid-40s. For what would the first time your Dad took you hearing, a whacking great pot is James Wattana haphazardly torn Snooker be without television? to the football. And there's immense Even though from the Sheffield Star's special It costs a mere £8 to see a certain nuances the cameras just everyone has their favourite snooker pull-out. session, and only the final was don't pick up on. player, essentially you go to see sold out, even during the the game being played well - a Unthinkable championship. This would be Thrill refreshingly different attitude. Which was just about the unthinkable in any other sport's For starters, on television One tip though. Never, ever, only clue that something of world championship. But this you don't see the players openly try and eat a packet of crisps national sporting importance isn't any other sport. It's swearing when their backs are during a frame. As I rummaged was actually going on here. Oh, snooker. turned to the camera. More in the bottom of the bag to find Watching Ronnie O'Sullivan that final elixir, a last unbroken Nationwide League and a minuscule lurid yellow obviously though, you can Play-offs AA roadsign (of the kind which, and then Doherty play, its charm really feel almost constant salt and vinegar crisp, I was let's face it. normally say is there for all to see. You can tension, probably aided by the pierced by the icy stare of the Division Three something like Bernard really believe that with enough total silence the game is played referee.' Ronnie O'Sullivan Cardiff City v Northampton Matthews' Turkey Slinging practice, you could be them. in. During a slopped. The game stopped. The Chester v Swansea Competition, turn left) proudly After all, nearly everybody can break between frames the world stopped. I went red. directing traffic towards The pot snooker balls, and most have television viewers were being Everyone in The Crucible was Return play-off legs take plaee week beginning May 12 Crucible Theatre. Or, to be more the basic fitness to walk from treated to David Vine's looking at me... eating crisps. precise, the BBC Outside their chair with a stick, lean over pontifications, but in the arena What a great game. 22 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997 Bradford striker has had his fair Eddie Lomas. WATS-ORADFORD WatsoNn remains tight-lipped City have had Interview by on the incident, but manager a traumatic Kamara had to be restrained after O last week it finally United 24 hour satellite Paul Brown racing onto the pitch to happened. After years channel. And there was me season this remonstrate with officials. "That of unpopular rule in thinking television was Byear. Just ask Gordon is the saddest day of my S followed by a win over Port Vale supposed to be entertaining? highest praise for his team- which the opposition, no Watson. professional career," he told the matter how hard they tried, Then again maybe they got mates. in which he scored the only goal press afterwards. "I have not were simply unable to the idea after watching The tackle that robbed "They played really well," he of the game. He insists the record seen anything like it in my life. I capture the ultimate prize, Channel 5. the club of their record enthuses, "and I was very fee only helped motivate him. just feel sorry for the player." t was the moment we'd all So what can we look signing after just two relieved because I didn't want to "After all, I went to Indeed Watson has still not been waiting for. forward to? Well, at least live be playing second division Southampton as their record buy recovered after the insertion of a Sure they had come close and uninterrupted coverage games accelerated the as well, so that was no problem at freefall of Chris Kamara's football next season. On the six-inch metal plate in his leg. He n previous years, on one of every match. Or so you'd other hand, I didn't feel the same all. I'm used to it." then instigated unprecedented iccasion agonisingly so. But think. But you'd be wrong, side, who narrowly joy as the other lads because I legal action against club and 997 will always be because the current Sky deal escaped relegation with a wasn't personally involved. oon afterwards, Bradford player under the Offences produced an FA Cup fourth emembered as the year precludes any other station 3-0 win over QPR last They did all the work Against the Person Act, although from broadcasting live round performance Watson when a landslide victory themselves. Of course, if things S the lawsuit was subsequently oppled... Stephen Hendry action. Never mind I hear Sunday. hailed as "brilliant" to Watson was part had gone well for us at the start of withdrawn. it the Embassy World you sigh, we'll make do with the season, it wouldn't have sensationally knock out of a 14,723 capacity Since then, things have gone inooker Championship. exciting and extended come to that." Premiership giants Everton 3-2 from bad to worse. City's cup at Goodison Park. The Ronnie O'Sullivan's highlights of the matches. I f crowd at Valley The 25-year-old journeyman dream was shattered by Watson's remind you at this point that Londoner's former Sheffield ecord-breaking 147 gave Parade, and had striker joined a club already former club Wednesday. This us all hope that this would a meagre total of 27 goals nothing but the tipped as favourites for the drop Wednesday team-mate Chris was followed by the loss of stars be the year when the super makes George Graham's side in January, in a £550,000 Waddle capped an exceptional like wing-back Des Hamilton to icot would be Crucible the lowest scoring team in all —,. deal from match-winning display in that Newcastle, goalkeeper Mark hampion no more. But the four English divisions... Southampton, where game with an instinctive 40-yard Schwarzer to Middlesbrough Rocket's second round exit that's just over a goal an hour he had scored seven lob hailed by many as 'goal of and more importantly, Chris at the hands of Darren folks. goals in 18 the season'. Waddle to Sunderland after a Morgan, and the sight of Or maybe they'll branch appearances last Watson, who was cup-tied lengthy contractual dispute. other seeds crashing left, out and start producing other season. but in the stadium, disagrees: "It Watson holds no grudge against ight and centre seemed to programmes.What price But Watson was nothing special, just a good him. uggest that Hendry's bid David O'Leary hosting and Bradford got goal really." "Good luck to him I say. He's for a seventh crown would dramatic reconstructions a la off to a good start Following such a triumph, the about 75 years old and he's got be successful. Crimewatch of a leggy six- with a draw Bantams could have been chance to play in the forgiven for their optimism when But the time had come footer assaulting a police against Premiership. After all, he'll be the Waddle-Watson partnership for change and like new officer outside Majestyk who Swindon, getting his pension soon. He's was reunited for the league visit labour, the man Doherty was last seen in the Elland one of the best I've played with, of fellow-strugglers rom Dublin arrived like a Road area claiming to be a along with Matt Le Tissier." breath of fresh air. Until midfielder? Started to think Huddersfield. However, the dramatic events now a consistent twice about that subscription o stranger to relegation of February 2 were to prove the underachiever on the big charge yet? battles himself, Gordon turning-point of their season. itage, the easy-going Watson began his career nd so to someone City paraded their new N rishman confidently blew under escaperartist Lennie certainly guaranteed £250.000 signing Edinho before away Davis, Higgins and Lawrence at Charlton, who the game, and Kamara picked up Robidoux. Hendry, jaded A to provide full value battled most seasons to stay in the monthly award for "best nd out of ideas, simply for money entertainment. the top-flight. performance on the road," but proved no match in the Prince Naseem Hamed "When I signed I was 14 and the match was only 56 seconds 'inal. Doherty, having disposed of his latest a Charlton fan, so I loved it. Kids old when Huddersfield took the learned the lesson of opponent Billy Hardy in go there because they know lead. previous vanquished typically fast and they're going to get a chance," he Then, in the fourth minute, opponents, held his nerve as flamboyant style in explains, praising a youth Manchester on Saturday. the drama really unfolded. he finishing line development scheme that earned Watson went down under an approached to record a Timed at 93 seconds, the him an FA Youth Cup runners-up Prince indeed fulfilled his awfully late challenge from 'unions victory. medal, and produced players like prediction of hanging on to visiting defender Kevin Gray, As with the Lee Bowyer, Richard Rufus and Conservatives, people will his IBF and WBO boxing and suffered a horrific double titles within one round, and more prominently Robert Lee, look back in time and break of his right leg that ended who would all win international recognise Hendry's historic his demolition job once his season prematurely. again greatly impressed all recognition. achievements, and no doubt Amazingly, the tackle prompted Putting his footballing both will return revitalised those watching at home and only a booking from referee to challenge again in the at ringside. education there to good use, he future. Now though is a None more so than 'Mr time to celebrate the dawn Tokyo Joe', alias Joe of a new era. Koizumi, manager of Luisito Espinosa, the WBC ailing all Leeds United champion from the FLASH. AH AHHH fans out there., Philippines who could be that's if Naz's next victim this cyou're still summer. "Naz, he awake. Just awesome. Espinosa when you also good puncher. Born: Sidcup, Kent, Mar 21 1971 thought you'd But chin not so escaped from good", he explained Aug 89: Senior debut for Charlton v Derby County the torture of after the fight. watching Well Joe, me Feb 91: Joins Sheffield Wednesday in £500,000 deal Palmer. think Naz hit Radebe, and Espinosa very hard after eight goals in 36 games for Charlton Deane week in ? and wipe floor with and week out him, then he take Mar 95: After 20 goals in 74 appearances for Wednesday, by staying away all four title by end joins Southampton for £1.2m from Elland of year and be greatest Road, club boxer in world. Jan 97: Joins Bradford for £550,000. First Bradford goal officials have announced they are AG in 1-0 win over Port Vale to launch a Leeds Feb 97: Breaks leg in third Bradford appearance after ^controversial challenge by Huddersfield's Kevin Gray_y 46 LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 9, 1997 share of lucky breaks • and some not so No. 36: Handy Andy By Naveed Raja THE magic of the cup was always lost on me until its propensity for making heroes out of unknowns took an unexpected and welcome turn in the 1993 cup final replay. Ol all of Arsenal's THE MEND lumbering six foot central defenders, Andy Linighan AND seemed to have drawn the truly short straw. He never get the accolades the rest did. was an irregular member of the team YOU CAN and to top it all undoubtedly the ugliest among the gurners of the Gunners back four. QUOTE ME But that night he was the toast of Gooners everywhere as his last gasp header flew past an ON THAT admittedly very helpful Chris Woods to secure the first and only League and FA Cup double. Some would argue the best WATS thing about the goal was the following European adventure, victory over Parma in the final "Good luck to him I before narrowly losing out to a say. He's about 75 freak goal from c\-cock-erel Nayim. But that's another years old and he's story got a chance to play in the Premiership. After all, he'll be getting his pension soon." "^^H^ ~'soJ1^' HALIFAX BUSA NEWS WOMDSR <3G£ FOOTBALL IN a thrilling final, TASC's THEN AND NOW: A very young Gordon Watson fires in a screamer for Charlton against Coventry, and (inset) how The Mirror ..as nothing women's football team came reported his horrific inhury against Huddersfield Main pic: Tom Morris from behind to beat Liverpool special, just a good 5-2 and win the NUL title. too went on to earn two England really, but it was very heated Wilson at Barnsley." If Kamara Teams have to get success in two goal really." They fell behind early in the Under-21 caps after Ron because it was on the telly and it can achieve anything like his seasons or out goes the manager." match after a dubious refereeing Atkinson signed him for got really bad for me at that peer's success he will become a The Bosnian ruling radically decision, but fought back with the Sheffield Wednesday. Indeed, his stage." Bradford hero. changed the way English clubs WATSQMG. perfect reply, leading goalscorer only winners' medal came from He knows the referee that day Of all the managers Watson looked at foreign players, and Siona Kelly htting the back of the international football, and was a made a tough decision, as has played under, he respects with prices in the domestic 'DIVE'' FOB net. character-building experience. referees often have to, and is Kamara as one of the best, along transfer market going through the WEDv LE The second halt stalled "We played in France in the quick to defend them despite this with Big Ron and surprisingly roof, Watson doesn't blame the "I still sa^ to equally badly, with Liverpool 1991 Toulon U-21 tournament, season's strong criticism. Alan Ball, who has relegated a clubs for going abroad. again taking the lead. But Ellen which we won, and Alan Shearer "I think it's a hard job they do, number of clubs. But could this foreign legion, day I felt I got Quinn equalised with a superb scored most of the goals. I scored and I wouldn't like to do it. When "They are all characters who at over 250-strong by far the clirped." goal before Rachel Hall put the after only eight minutes against they have bad games, it tends to know how to get on with you. largest in Europe, slow the Leeds side in the lead for the first Russia when we beat them 2-1. It alter games. Players have bad They all knew me, and they all progress of English talents time. games too, but referees take the paid money for me, whereas the hoping to break into their side? W& With player-of-the-year brunt of it. All the criticism is to others just inherited me, and so Perhaps the abolition of transfer Lesley McGowan again superb in A t Wednesday, he got his do with more coverage though, suddenly the relationship is fees damage the the smaller POSITIVE INPAC defence, TASC's supremacy was /\ best chance of a because football's in the public- different because the money they breeding grounds of talent, assured with Quinn and Kelly A. \Premiership winners' eye all the time. Wherever you paid shows they really value perhaps from his own beloved scoring again to secure victory medal a year later when Trevor go, you can see any game, any you." Charlton down? He replies like and preserve thier three year Francis took over. Third in the referee. Ten years ago you were He will not criticise Graeme the realist he is. "I don't think you unbeaten record. table and playing well, lucky to have one live game a Souness who let him leave "You can't please all of the can put a price on Wednesday met challengers week- now you've got six, so it's Southampton, forcing him to people all of the time. Who do CYCLING Leeds in a vital championship because everything's being drop down a division. The Scot you upset - someone who's going putting a smile on showdown... and lost 6-1! magnified." brought in the Norwegian Egil to put £150 million into the game someone's face for COLIN Robertson powered "When we got beaten by Television replays though, are Ostenstadt as his replacement, or someone who puts in £50,000? his way to successive third Leeds," he reflects, "it was one of "a long way off he says, because and he feels the influx of Charlton will always be close to an hour and a half." place finishes in recent BUSA those days when nothing went "football wouldn't be as free and foreigners into the Premiership my heart, but they've still got cycling competitions. right, and everything went right open with all the stoppages." can only benefit our football. kids coming through. It will onl\ He came home in 20 mins. for Leeds. On the day they Would he be saying the same "I think these foreigners are be the small, small clubs that are CHRIS KAMARA O N and 46 sees, at the ten-mile race definitely deserved it, and it was thing if a bad decision had good for the game. They're really affected." WATSQKTS mJURY in Hull, knokcing over two and a one of those games you want you relegated Bradford? I doubt his going to get paid well because half minutes off his personal best end very quickly." fiery manager would be so they are top quality and they ith Bradford managing "I haven't seen time. He then rode even better The one goal Wednesday forgiving. entertain. I don't think you can to stay in Division One. anything lite it in last Saturday, completing the 25 managed to score came from a put a price on putting a smile on WWatson's only thoughts ny life. I just feel mile course in Cambridge in just controversial penalty awarded imara has often been in someone's face for an hour and a now are on recovery, and he has 52 minutes and 29 seconds, at an after a now-famous incident rouble with the half. You can't beat smiling and nothing but praise for the club. sorry for the average speed of over 28 miles involving Watson and Leeds Kbotballing authorities, enjoying yourself, and that's "They've looked after me player." an hour. defender Chris Whyte, after and Watson puts this down to his what you do at a football match." well, really well, and been very which Watson was branded a enthusiasm for the game. But will these foreign players supportive. I'm just training, ATHLETICS diver. He vigorously denies this "Chris gets into trouble hinder the development of our trying to get fit at the moment, 4NDY Illingworth from TASC own youngsters? and I see someone every day. The charge. because he's so passionate about WIIMING THE U-21 finished llth in the 3000m "I still say to this day I felt I the game, and you need that. I "No, it's too big a risk in the injury's looking OK though." steeplechase at the BUSA got clipped, but I took another think that's a good thing. I hope current day sometimes to bring in Glad to hear it Gordon. It ':0LOM TITLE Outdoor Championships. step and then went down. I took a he does really well. He's one of a youngster. Do you get a kid you Bradford are to avoid the drop KKGLAHD The 4x400m relay team just lot of stick from people because that new young breed coming think is going to be good, or again next season, they will missed out on the final in a of that, and I was so embarrassed through, the same age as Danny someone you know is good? certainly need you. "It was nice." competition ultimately won by Loughborough University. 47 JOLLY JOSHI SEALS TIGHTEST OF WINS LUlPs women go through to BUSA 2nd Rd after close call At The Hyde Park Picture House FRI - THU Basquiat ^SBHRP ^i ON THE DEFENSIVE: Eve Anderton stands firm in the face of a Sheffield barrage Pic: Shaun de Wet Steyn LOCAL rivals WOMEN'S CRICKET (30 OVERS) won by default. Opponents Frid Leningrad Salford and Sheffield Hallam 5 m Sheffield were defeated LUU (84-7) beat SHEFFIELD (81-8) by three runs were unable to raise sides and Cowboys "••' " by the narrowest of By Chris Straw their 100 per cent record margins at Weetwood ensures progression in the on Wednesday. To their credit they turned in previously in a friendly game tournament. Saturday 11:15pm an excellent display, with Penny which saw LUU play Sheffield Club captain Alison Young The home side's innings Stanley's brilliant catch at cover off the park. A much-changed was understandably delighted was built around captain in the penultimate over side cruised to victory by 88 runs after the game: "We went into Underground Palavi Joshi's excellent 31, epitomising the team's effort. and featured some fine the game thinking we'd win. WINNER OF PALME D'OR - BEST FILM 1995 with the rest of the team The LUU bowling was individual performances. Of Both teams played well, but impressively tight and accurate. LUU's 136, Joshi and Rosina our batting was not up to chipping in to take the total Alison Young took three wickets Robson finished unbeaten on 36 standard although our fielding Sunday 3pm to 84 for seven in their for 21 in her six overs and Alex and 27 respectively. Jo Deane was good. On the whole, I allotted 30 overs. Irvin had the unenviable task of bowled magnificently for her think we deserved to win and Breaking The Waves With a relatively low score bowling the last over with four for 11 from six overs and we're looking forward to the to defend, it was imperative Sheffield needing just five runs helped to bowl the opposition next round." that LUU gave a disciplined to win. However she conceded out for a meagre 48. NEXT WEEKEND just one and the visitors finished Wednesday's victory sees LUU: Joshi (c), Anderton, performance in the field on 81 for eight. LUU through to the next round Young (vc), Robson, Deane, despite the slippery It had all been so different of the BUSA competition since Aspell, Taylor, Stalen, Irvin, conditions. when the two sides met four days their first two fixtures were Butt, Shepherd