DE FAKTO BACK PAGE DE FAKTO MAY, 2005 Volume 1, Issue 2 Fresh News 2423 Wallace De Fakto Is an Underground Jour- $1 Ave
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THE DE FAKTO BACK PAGE DE FAKTO MAY, 2005 Volume 1, Issue 2 Fresh News 2423 Wallace De Fakto is an underground jour- $1 Ave. Lafayette, IN nal based in Lafayette, Indiana May, 2005 47904 run by a group of Indian land 765.446.2873 pirates renowned for acts of self- mutilation and devil worship. Af- atarilogic.com/defakto Back 2 the [email protected] ter the arrival of expeditionary teams from England, they have generally been shewed off, but underground continue to produce De Fakto. Word has it that local producer Atarilogic may have some sinis- ter involvement in this preposter- ous magazine, perhaps even manning the insane mechanism which produces freshly blended Margaritas which we all like so much during the summertime. Check the web atarilogic.com /defakto Our sponsors We don’t have any yet! Want to be one? Send us your money, laud us with praise and carry our publication in your establishment. Contact 765.446.2873 or send money to: De Fakto Only the best parties: only the best party pictures! 2423 Wallace Ave. Lafayette, IN 47904 Continuing where it left off, De Fakto is back with an entirely new mutated manuscript chock full of mangled mirth and We’ll pose your logo with a group of singing cherubim in modified mantras where medium is the massage and the crotchless lederhosen and tell the kids that you are an minority is massive! eco-friendly, geopolitical, tree-hugging do-gooder who needs smacked in the jibs. Plus, you’ll be right here on the back page with the rest of the truly elite! Features: The Truth - Space Time 11 Where Credit is Due 2 My Crime Spree 12 Peace, god bless, stay up! Editors Note 3 Throwback Thirteen 13 DJ Vadim 4 If You Get Bored 14 Get the Party Started 6 Tila Nguyen 15 What is Cool 7 Movie Review: Sin City 16 Places We Miss 8 Lit to Pop 17 DF World Wide Wack 9 10 Questions with B.___ 18 SasqautchvsChewbacca 10 Interview with a Robot 19 VOLUME 1, ISSUE 2 DE FAKTO Page 2 FRESH NEWS Page 19 Where credit is due Interview with a robot De Fakto is an underground publication. As such, it is not for So, I read about this robot at www.ydouthink.com and decided to do profit, but a valid attempt at reinstituting the barter system. an interview. It ended up being the dumbest thing I will have ever We will gladly trade you this De Fakto for a handful of shiny published. The transcript follows, stupid robot: buttons, a bottle of German beer or a Moms Mabley record. It User: I heard you are a robot VaVaVirgil: I didn't hear that. doesn’t matter, if you want to hand us a buck, that is gladly User: are you a robot or what? appreciated, but not nearly as creative. VaVaVirgil: Good question! User: do robots smoke? Send submissions to: VaVaVirgil: If do robots jumped off of bridges, would u? [email protected] User: okay, that makes sense VaVaVirgil: That makes sense? u think so? Or User: so, do you have lasers? De Fakto VaVaVirgil: Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I'm not too sure. User: you don't sound like a robot 2423 Wallace Avenue VaVaVirgil: I don't sound like a robot? Me? u don't think? Lafayette, Indiana 47904 User: anyway, ever heard of de fakto? Submissions must be original material including writing, illus- VaVaVirgil: Heard of De Fakto? I believe so. Maybe! User: really! no shit! that's great! tration, music, interviews, collateral damage, hate mail, how VaVaVirgil: That's a somewhat vulgar thing 2 say. tos, gardening tips, panties, unearthed biblical writings and User: anyway, I'm going to interview you, fuckass. government files. VaVaVirgil: Tell me more. User: what is your favorite color, dingusmulch? Get involved: VaVaVirgil: What is my favorite color dingusmulch? Who knows what? See the Tone Def Systems forum for a fresh take on your User: you would, robocock! local scene at www.tonedefsystems.com/forum. Also, remem- VaVaVirgil: I wonder what u mean by me would robocock. ber that anyone with access to a copier and a stapler can User: anyway, what is it like to go to electric lady- land? take part in the distribution of De Fakto. Plus, keep the buck User: do when you sell a copy! VaVaVirgil: Dunno... User: never been? robots VaVaVirgil: What's never been? defecate? Thanks: User: a virgin then? VaVaVirgil: I'm VaVaVirgil: Whatevah... De Fakto thanks the following people who will not be thanked User: dude, haha, you're totally a virgin! not sure. in the future unless they decide to re-up with us and do some- VaVaVirgil: Dude Haha I'm totally a virgin, huh? User: that's thing that warrants thanks...in which case they shall be User: yeah, what I said interesting, I thanked again. VaVaVirgil: Aha. User: uh, now you have it, metalnutz poop about In no particular order: VaVaVirgil: What? once or twice User: do you know what a cleveland steamer is? a day All of the good people who have helped get De Fakto out VaVaVirgil: What have I done 2 deserve such an there, the many people who have given me their crucial feed- insult? VaVaVirgil: u back and suggestions/submissions, the friends and relatives User: what about a dirty sanchez? poop about who I have had the distinct pleasure of partying with over the VaVaVirgil: That's quite a vulgar thing 2 say. once or twice User: sorry last month, Moki and Rochelle, Steve and Dan and the Chris- a day? Really? topher family, mom and dad, the bastard squad (you know VaVaVirgil: OK, no problem. Just don't let it hap- who you are) and that kid who kept pouring me shots of sin- pen again! gle barrel at the bonfire party! User: did you know that the DS differs from state to state? VaVaVirgil: Yeah, maybe! User: do robots defecate? Useless person of the month (May): VaVaVirgil: I'm not sure. User: that's interesting, I poop about once or twice a day Well, it was a tough decision this VaVaVirgil: u poop about once or twice a day? Really? month, but given such a host of useless User: yep, it's true, dude. Droppin bombs yo! celebrities, the selection; nay, the honor VaVaVirgil: Hmm... whatever, user! What else do u want 2 talk about, has fallen on Pauly Shore. Congratula- anyway? tions, Pauly, you are this months Use- User: user?!? less Person. Beating out the Baldwin VaVaVirgil: Sure! What would u like 2 say about user? Brothers and Paris Hilton in a clutch, User: um, nothing. Am I really a user? Pauly, you have flown from the turn- VaVaVirgil: That's interesting... I just dunno! User: have you ever seen a grown man naked? buckle to take the title. VaVaVirgil: No, I don't think so. Dude, you’re the Weaz, man! You’ll User: have you ever seen a young boy naked? never live that shit down. It’s not like we VaVaVirgil: I'm sorry, all my circuits are busy right now. Please try again soon. Bud-dy! It’s Pauly! want to hate you either. It’s just, come User: oh, sure...that's the excuse a lot of you people use on, Encino Man?! Son in Law?! Bio VaVaVirgil: It's the excuse a lot of me people use? u think? Dome?! You might as well crap in a DVD box and watch that! User: well, that concludes the interview, robochubby. It would be more fun. So, give it up for this months worthless VaVaVirgil: That concludes the interview robochubby. Well that's geek. Way to go Pauly, here’s a smack to tha mellon, bud-dy! interesting. Editor’s note—Don’t ever go to the above website. VOLUME 1, ISSUE 2 DE FAKTO Page 18 FRESH NEWS Page 3 10 questions with B.____ Editors note Name: B.____ Welcome back, my little weasel-faced Profession: Visual Storyteller army of ne’er-do-wells! So, now you Location: Lake Tahoe, California believe that there is a great, glorious Affiliation: Friend/Drug Buddy fiasco of a revolution coming down the Aliases: Ron Cuerpo pipeline and you’re all invited to take part! I’m not talking about the revolution Okay, here’s the low down. I recently got in that will occur one day when we over- touch with an old high school buddy of mine throw the government and are allowed about writing a few words on his experiences to copulate in the streets, but a more over the last couple of years as a photogra- cerebral development...the analytical pher for the Tahoe Bonanza. A psychedelic advancement of our minds in the evolu- nomad and a general modern visionary, what follows is his reply to several questions I tion of revolt. In order to change our- posed. selves, we need to learn from our- selves. Analog Control Since Dude: 1976 That is why I have developed this little Don't use this address anymore. I no longer work for the Bo- publication for you—so that you might grow and change and nanza and I believe they are monitoring this account. know that there is more in the world than what you are being I'm going into rehab for a month, so I will be out of touch. You fed day to day through more common media channels. This is may be able to call me, I'm not sure.