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The Missoula Gayzette VOL. III, No. 4 T h e V o i c e o f W e s t e r n M o n t a n a ’ s L G B T I C o mm u n i t y April 2007 Out & About at the ’07 Health Summit in Philadelphia By Kelli Ann Thomas Thanks to the generosity of this community, I you tonight, I feel that my journey here deserves was able to attend the LGBTI Health Summit March some attention. After being selected to present 14 – 17 in Philadelphia. I’m passionate about a workshop, I was left ecstatic on one hand and finding ways to provide equitable mental health depressed on the other. I felt it was a privilege to and substance abuse treatment for LGBT folks living be chosen, but being a broke and starving master’s in rural environments, and that is what inspired me student in clinical social work at Walla Walla College, to attend this conference. (there is an extension campus here in Missoula), I Lately, I have found myself interested in how had no funds to attend. we might provide a supportive system to emerging I was intent on raising the money. Two of LGBT youth and their parents in communities that I my fellow classmates held an Indian Taco Feed like to label “micro-rural”. Some children growing up for lunch one day as a fundraiser. The Walla Walla in communities like Glendive, Jordan, and Roundup, College instructors and staff held a surprise bake believe it or not, will emerge as LGBT-identified sale on the same day. These combined efforts Pictured left to right: Jon Freeland, Josh Peters- people. Somehow these emerging adolescents and raised just over a quarter of the funds I needed to McBride, David Herrera & Kelli Ann Thomas their parents need to be provided support through attend. Remaining funds were provided by support March 14: Framing the Message, Flirting with existing social systems within their communities. from you….members and friends of the Missoula Andre To my knowledge, no model currently exists, so I LGBT community. I found it astonishing that all this Today I attended an all-day workshop entitled decided to offer a presentation about this topic for happened within two weeks of notification that I “Attractive Activism.” Three individuals presented this year’s summit. would be presenting at the summit. their own experiences advocating for inclusive As I sit in my hotel room writing to all of HPV vaccinations for men, rectal microbicides for

contiued on page 3 Advocate Names Missoula in Top 10 Cities By Caitlin Copple Courtesy of The Missoula Independent very accepting and open.” environmental activist who ran a gay and Stockwell said she was not aware of recent lesbian guest ranch near Ronan, was found dead Missoula has officially landed on the hate crimes targeting the LGBT community in in a shallow stream on her property. The state nation’s gaydar. Missoula. medical examiner ruled her death an accident, Despite the city’s somewhat checkered In October 2005, UM students Wally Catton but friends and neighbors weren’t convinced. track record on gay rights, Missoula was listed and Marcus Chebul, who are straight, were Her case is still open with the Lake County in bimonthly national gay newsmagazine The taunted with homophobic insults and then Sheriff’s office because of suspicious details Advocate’s first-ever “Best Places for Gays and attacked by a group of four men led by James found during the autopsy. Lesbians to Live” in the March 27 issue. The “Joby” Kelly. Responding to the subsequent Montana law does not include sexual article contained short profiles of gay-friendly outcry in the LGBT community, the city police orientation under its hate crimes law, despite small cities spotlighting the many LGBT hired openly gay Sgt. Scott Oak as a liaison several years of legislative lobbying. A bill to Americans choosing to live outside cities with officer. change the law failed again this session, though large, visible “gay ghettos” such as San Francisco Montana public employees are eligible for Missoula’s representatives supported the or Seattle. The list was compiled from an online same-sex domestic partner benefits thanks to legislation.  reader survey, according to Advocate editor a lawsuit filed by the ACLU on behalf of lesbian Anne Stockwell. former University of Montana employees. “We’re delighted Missoula made the list,” The lawsuit came at great personal cost to said Stockwell. “Certainly one of our criteria was the women involved; days after its filing in Inside This Issue does the place have an active gay and lesbian February 2002, arsonists torched the home of community center. Missoula, with a population Carla Grayson and Adrienne Neff, mothers of Health Summit...... pg 3 of 61,000, that qualified as a particularly a two-year- old, in a still-unsolved attempted April Briefs . pg 2 welcoming, great-sized town.” triple homicide. Fellow plaintiffs Carol “Marmot” New Court Members...... pg 2 Western Montana Gay & Lesbian Snetsinger and Nancy Siegel also received death Community Center board president Mark Heyka threats. Ellie Sigrist . pg 4 said events like the annual Black and White Nine days before her 28th birthday in Community Calendar . pg 5 Ball, which raised about $16,000 after expenses March 2003, Jennifer Jacqueline Pate, who was Community Resources...... pg 6 for the center, draw support from the straight born in a male body but identified as a woman, community. was murdered by two men up Pattee Canyon Results are in: Best of Missoula. . . . . pg 7 “What I think strikes a chord with me is Road. The LGBT community decried the deputy My Dirty Little Secret...... pg 8 that a lot of larger cities have gay ghettos, where prosecuting attorney’s handling of the case, and Students for Barack Obama...... pg 8 gays gather together and live in the same area,” no criminal charges were ever filed against the Skeg & Wrench...... pg 9 Heyka said. “Missoula doesn’t have one; it’s just suspects. a good place to live for gays in general. We are In April 2001, Tary Macobe, an Black & White Ball Highlights. . . . . pg 10 integrated into a progressive community that is ARIL BRIEFS WMGLCC Violence in Kalispell Yields More and Rep. Diane Sands (D-Missoula) among its Western Montana Gay & Lesbian Questions Than Answers members, believes in fair taxes, public educa- Community Center By Gayzette Staff tion, human rights, economic justice, and a On Friday, March 16, WMGLCC volunteer clean environment. They say their goal is not to Megan Blake received phone calls from Ka- splinter the Democratic Party, but to strengthen 127 North Higgins, Suite 202 Missoula, MT 59802 lispell media asking whether the center knew the progressive wing of the party. Phone: 406-543-2224 Memberships are $30. about an attack the night before on a young E-mail: [email protected] gay couple who were hospitalized for their in- *** Website: www.gaymontana.org Upcoming Health Retreat Slated for juries. Chief Editors: Caitlin Copple Hallie Chouinard of KCFW, the NBC affiliate Young Gay/Bisexual Men in Kalispell, is covering the story. By Josh Peters-McBride and Jon Freeland Suzie Reahard “[The police] didn’t say it was a gay bash- Every year Mpowerment and FDH & Asso- Contributors: Caitlin Copple ing, since that’s not under the hate crimes law,” ciates plan and coordinate a Young Gay/Bisex- Kelli Ann Thomas ual Men’s Health Retreat. This year’s retreat will Chouinard said. “The kids’ parents called in and Josh Peters-McBride said they believe it should be looked at as a hate be held April 13 – 15. Men between the ages of crime.” 16 – 24 are encouraged to attend this three-day Frank Klin Chouinard said the couple was at a bar, but weekend (participants 16 and 17 years of age Ellie Sigrist the police wouldn’t say which one. She said she must have parental or guardian consent). Skeg & Wrench believed they were followed after leaving the Approximately 25 – 30 men come from all Graphic Artist: suzie Reahard bar. She did not know the ages of the young over Montana to participate in this drug and al- men. cohol free weekend that emphasizes safer sex Ad Executive: Jon Freeland Shane Nix of the Flathead Valley Alliance, education (including HIV/STD prevention) and the LGBT community organization in Kalispell, how to lead healthier lives. So far about 20 par- Circulation: Jon Freeland did not know about the attacks until Chouinard ticipants have registered. Monthly Circulation: 1,000 copies contacted him. “The weekend is a chance for these guys to *** come and share experiences and learn healthy Submit letters to the Editor at Rep. Diane Sands Joins Progressive living choices that they will use for a lifetime,” [email protected] said Josh Peters-McBride, the Mpowerment Democrats One copy of Missoula Gayzette is available free of charge supervisor and retreat facilitator. “This year, By Gayzette Staff for each reader at current distribution locations. Copies of Frustration with the lack of clear choice in we have five absolutely wonderful facilitators Missoula Gayzette which have not been picked up for the the current two-party political system has led helping educate our youth, with topics ranging purpose of reading them are the property of WMGLCC. Any to the formation of a new group, Progressive from intimacy, to how to put a condom on, to unauthorized person who takes or moves multiple copies of Democrats of Montana. The group hopes to the history of homosexuality.” Missoula Gayzette to prevent other people from seeing or encourage more left-wing candidates to run for Registration is still open. To reserve a spot, reading them shall be considered guilty of theft. Violators will office, as opposed to centrist Democrats, often contact Josh at 406.829.8075 or email him at be prosecuted. deemed “Republican-lite” by critics. [email protected]. For more retreat infor- Multiple copies can be sent to any distribution location. The group, which counts openly lesbian mation about other FDH- sponsored retreats Please call or email us for information. lawmakers Rep. Christine Kaufmann (D-Helena) check out www.mtgayhealth.org.  The Western Montana Gay & Lesbian Community Center is a 501(c)3 organization and cannot endorse any candidate for New Court Members Appointed public office. Articles or advertising is strictly the opinion of On March 3 at Amvets Bar, the Imperial names and titles that left the uninitiated dizzy the writers or advertisers, not that of the Board of Directors, Sovereign Court of the State of Montana (ISCSM) with over-the-top regal pomp and circumstance. members of the editorial staff of the Gayzette, nor the formally expanded the royal family as Chlamydia The event also featured esteemed and revered Western Montana Gay & Lesbian Community Center. Clitoris Devaraux and Joshua de la Luna were visiting royalty from the courts in Spokane, The Missoula Gayzette is distributed at the following locations: crowned Miss and Mr. Gay Missoula XVII, Seattle and Vancouver. Bernice’s Bakery Betty’s Devine respectively. Each pageant contestant performed for Butterfly Herbs Catalyst The pageant had all the glam that we’ve the event. Josh was stunning in chaps, a cowboy Club Q Crystal Video come to expect from the ISCSM. Our drag queens hat and dancing to a song that made us all want Dauphine’s Fact and Fiction were glitzy, busty and sported their trademark to “save a horse, ride a cowboy.” FDH & Associates Feng Shui Center gravity-defying hair. Our drag kings were strong, Delightfully campy and carefully Gaia’s Galleria [Helena] The Good Food Store handsome and packin’. orchestrated, Chlamydia’s minions tossed out Hellgate High School The Janet Rankin Peace Center Each court member performed with propaganda panties, with “Got Chlamydia?” Liquid Planet The Loft [Billings] printed across the back. Perhaps Mitt Missoula Aids Council MCC [Great Falls] Romney could take a lesson from Midnight Dreams Montana Repertory Theatre Chlamydia’s savvy PR team. We’re No Sweat Cafe [Helena] Pita Pit moving to The event was not only Missoula Public Library Rainbow’s End San fun, but also a fundraiser. ISCSM is Fransisco! The Shack Shakespeare and Co. a philanthropic group of queens Snookums [Butte] The Stonewall News Northwest No and kings that donates money we’re not. Tipus University Center, LAMBDA raised at their events to benefit the LGBTI community, and the larger WMGLCC community. After the show, the Court We will be changing the face and name of The Gayzette! Mediation: Your Solution! awarded $200 to Mpowerment., an Starting next month look for Out Words at your local distribution points. We will have the same Ellie Sigrist, m.a., Mediator 406-549-2248 HIV/STD prevention and drug and alcohol awareness project aimed at great content you’ve come to enjoy with a more progressive design edge Call Now! I Can Help. [email protected] gay and bisexual men ages 18-29.  Page The Missoula Gayzette HIV prevention and trans in the largest trans community in the world. Within Health health insurance. two years, the fund had grown to a multimillion- The workshop dealt dollar surplus. There were relatively few claims in Summit with issues that were that same time period and eventually the carrier already clearly identified dropped the one dollar surcharge. Cont... in established target The University of California decided to cover populations. Because the 200,000-plus people it employs with similar I have found no movement currently working results. Although the percentage of claims at UC toward the issue of my passion (no, not shoes), I outnumbered those in San Francisco, the result was found myself wanting more instruction on how to the same. Virtually no extra costs were incurred by formulate and build a grassroots organization from the carrier, and policy was offered at no surcharge the ground up. Furthermore, while I saw much head to those covered. nodding in agreement for the need for rural support Andre won the case for coverage at the networks for LGBT youth and their parents, I found University of Michigan at Ann Arbor through his Julie Elkins and Kelli Ann Thomas embrace at the 2007 it hard to pierce the urban mindset that is seemed union. He brought the union to a one-day walk LGBTI Health Summit in Philadelphia last month so prevalent among the participants. out that forced acceptance of trans coverage for female-to-male case study I started referring to I did learn a little about the importance employees. Trans coverage was coupled with other him as her. ARGH! I was reprimanded extensively of framing the message within the context of a issues, so the union members were happy to have it by one very vocal trans man and had to cut him population’s values. Those outside the box (or on board. Andre accomplished this as the only trans short to move on. I was beyond horrified at myself frame) must be able to empathize with the issue member of the union. at this point and not feeling very confident. But I being framed. In terms of trans health insurance, we The question I bring back to Missoula is: Does continued. I now personally know how it feels to worked up this message: “Trans folk are intelligent, your workplace even consider trans coverage? Are use the wrong pronoun. educated, hard-working individuals who are you willing to bring it up? I would hope our allies The second part of my presentation was not competitive in the workforce. If your company can at least educate employers that trans coverage very well received either. It was directed at the values the skills that trans folk possess and want to actually works. whole LGBTI youth community, specifically those recruit the best, you need to have health benefits March 16: Pronoun Gaffs and My Presentation growing up in rural areas. The current paradigm is in place to attract those persons.” Consider Today is it. The day I have been working that we as LGBTI activists concentrate on our own whether your current LGBT-friendly employer has toward for the last four months. The day that I, your community. I was presenting a shift to considering an insurance policy in place that will assist in trans Missoula representative represent all LGBTI folks in sexual health for all youth. health coverage. small-town America, thanks to those of you who When I finished, nearly everyone in the room I was impressed by a trans man called Andre helped me get here. Today, I will shout from my little accosted me. I apologized to them all again, and Wilson. He started the trans insurance model perch at the summit in my loudest voice: “Listen up they moved beyond it to the issues that I had completely on his own, and his ideas have earned all you urban experts, WE LIVE IN RURAL AMERICA presented. the support of the National Center for Transgender TOO!” We all exchanged cards and decided to begin Equality. I plan to pick his brain further on how to I awoke early, dressed in newly-acquired an email exchange of providing healthcare to trans start a grassroots movement. And besides, he’s professional attire: tan pants, button down blouse, people in rural communities--sort of an email Trans damned cute too, even if he’s attached… white coat, closest thing that I have to a Republican Task Force, if you will. Several government agencies March 15: Working Toward Trans Health Insurance silk scarf and shoes that made my feet ache looking and private business entities will be represented, Today I attended “Trans-Inclusive Health at them. I worked on my presentation over breakfast and we hope to start a national transgender Insurance: Envisioning and Achieving Best Practices”, and then nervously headed to the workshop room. health coalition that would provide Internet access presented by none other than Andre Wilson. I really My workshop was entitled “Trans Rural to information on current hormone treatment, wanted to take in everything he had to offer. America” and many of the attendees were leaders physiological frameworks and medical treatments Andre related stories of successful bids in trans healthcare issues, including Andre. for trans people. This would help a trans individual for insurance coverage of trans-related health I often see people struggle with the issue in find supportive professionals in his/her area and concerns including genital, breast, and feminization of trying to use the right pronouns around me. refer them to our Web site for current treatment surgeries, hormone replacement and medical and I view this is as an early transition phenomena. I methods and resources. Andre ended up inviting psychiatric visits. In a flurry of controversy, the city try to reassure folks that it is okay and that using me out to dinner to discuss my workshop further. of San Francisco lead the way in finding a carrier improper pronouns is normal. After the inevitable, The vocal man who had corrected me urged me to to cover trans-related healthcare. Pundits claimed timid apologies I urge them not to feel bad about it continue the work and wants to be involved. By the every tranny in the country would move to San and certainly not to apologize about it. Somehow I time I went to lunch, I felt completely embraced. Francisco, get a job as a meter maid and have the can see what I perceive as anger in their eyes. Anger Thanks again to you, my community for gamut of surgeries, thereby driving insurance costs at having to address me differently after knowing sending me to the summit. I have returned with to oblivion. But the city worked with the insurance me for many years. After today I can fully relate. a sense of personal achievement and possibility. carrier and agreed to a one dollar individual annual My presentation on rural barriers to trans care I see all of us making headway in overcoming increase in premium. The dollar would be placed in was a case study of two trans folk in Montana: one discrimination and finding acceptance and support a fund to balance the cost of predicted trans care FTM and one MTF. After the first two slides of the in mainstream culture.  W O R D E N T H A N E P. C. A T T O R N E Y S A T L A W

Shane A. Vannatta

Suite 600 The Florence • 111 N Higgins Ave P.O. Box 4747 • Missoula, MT 59806 (406) 721-3400

The Missoula Gayzette Page ellIe SIgrISt How “bad” A mediator could help ferret out what’s behind each of our positions and in doing so open up MISSOULA ‘S HOTTEST NEW does it have more constructive communication around the L.G.B.T. PARTY & SOCIAL SCENE! to be before issue, lending a more accurate portrayal of what is truly going on for each of us. Somehow Notes from Ellie Sigrist, I call for we got stuck holding onto our own positions Conflict Coach and just couldn’t budge. & Mediator mediation?

Last month, this column described the role of a Perceptions Can Make All the Difference mediator—someone with a neutral perspective who can facilitate dialogue when conflict arises in all sorts Did you notice that I mentioned this of relationships. So now you may be thinking, “Well, is what the situation looked like from my things must be really bad if I need a mediator.” perspective? There’s always more than one Things might be bad, but they don’t have to be in side to the story—yours and the other person’s. ELKS LODGE UPSTAIRS order to bring a mediator into the picture. We each form our own perceptions of what’s ELKS LODGE UPSTAIRS Apr. 6th9 P(Fri.)..M.. - -2 Women’sA..M.. COVE NightR: $5..00 happening in the situation, and when we don’t DANCING,, GAMING,, FAMILY & FRIENDS Mediation As a Tool clarify them and try to understand the other’s, Apr. 7th (Sat.) - CLOSED tensions arise. A mediator can offer you skills Apr. 13th (Fri.)**C A- DanceLEND APartyR** Think of mediation as a tool to help sustain a to check in with each other to clarify your healthy relationship rather than only something Apr. 14th (Sat.) - I.S.C.S.M. Show perceptions and actions so future conflicts are **SEPTEMBER 9TH “BACK TO SCHOOL to turn to in a “down to the last straw, or else” easier to manage. BASH” situation. Consider this example—I had a partner Apr. 20th (Fri.) - Men’s Night My ex and I never went to a mediator **SEPTEMBER 16TH * DANCE PARTY once who thought my attraction to a new friend and we split up a few months later. My point Apr.**S E21stPTE (Sat.)MBRE -R Dance30TH *PartyDANCE /COMM was more than friendly and that I was evasive exactly: Perhaps if we had used a mediator Apr.SPOT 27th.. (Fri.) - Dance Party and excluding her when I made plans with my before things reached the point of no return, new friend. No matter how much I tried to assure we could have sustained our relationship. Apr. 28th (Sat.) - Spring Pajama Party her that my attraction was truly only as friends, Moving through conflict is healthy for any CLUB Q EVENTS and that I often invited her to join us, there was relationship. Think about the stress you still unrest in our relationship when anything carry when you avoid dealing with conflict. Elks Lodge (Upstairs) came up around my friend. Of course, there was Remember, you don’t have to wait until it’s 9 p.m. - 2 a.m. more depth to it, but that’s the gist of it from my really “bad” before you ask for help! Cover $5 (includes $1 off st1 beverage) perspective. This is an excellent example of a situation Ellie Sigrist is a mediator and conflict coach with a where mediation could be healthy and helpful. background in communication Studies. She is a full member of the Montana Mediation Association. Special Points of Interest We will be changing the face and Bulletin Board name of The Gayzette! Starting next Bernie Kneefe, MSW, LCSW month look for Out Words at your Psychotherapy Looking for quiet non-smoking lesbian local distribution points. We will have to share new townhome in Missoula. Near GF store, St. Pat’s hospital and Clark the same great content you’ve come Fork river. Rent includes all utilities, high to enjoy with a more progressive speed internet, cable and w/d. $375.00 design edge. mo. + $150.00 deposit. Small pet ok. Call Cynthia at 493-0618. Have something you want to share with Want to see more pictures from the community? Post it on Bulletin Board! the Black & White Ball 211 N Higgins Ste 300B Ads are $10 for 25 words or less and 25 cents each additional word. Check them out online at Missoula MT 59802 Submit Columns, bulletin board items and Phone 406-549-2637 ads to [email protected]  www.gaymontana.com Fax 406-549-2641

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Center Weekly Events Individual Calendar of Events 2007 Montana Pride Schedule April 3 - Tuesday Monday of Times & Events 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. - Gay Men’s Chorus Rehearsal Monthly Meeting - Flathead Valley Alliance Tuesday [Kallispell] 7 p.m. - The Lesbian Chat Group, April 5 - Thursday a Lesbian Support Group Camille Bloom CD Release Concert ellks Lodge Missoula Doors at 7 p.m., Show at 8 p.m. Thursday Tickets $8 www.camillebloom.com [Missoula] 7 p.m. - Gay Men Together, A safe and April 7 - Saturday affirming place for gay & bisexual men ISCM’s Friends Helping Friends Benefit Show to meet. Show at 9:30 p.m. Door at 8:00 p.m. Amvets Saturday $5.00 at the Door [Missoula] 5:30 to 7 p.m. - TG/TS/Intersex Support K-Mo productions Presents Queer Prom Group meeting (1st and 3rd Saturdays only) 9 p.m. - 3 a.m. at the Red Light Green Room below the Wilma. [Missoula] April 8 - Sunday Recurring Events for Missoula Easter Egg Hunt & Potluck - Flathead Valley Alliance June 15 - Friday 2 p.m., Lawrence Park [Kallispell] and surrounding areas April 13 to 15 - Friday to Sunday WMGLCC Board Meeting, 3rd Wednesday, Young Gay / Bisexual Men’s Retreat 7 p.m. at the Center For more information contact Josh at [email protected] or call 406-829-8075 [Missoula] LGBTI Community Potluck, 3rd Saturday April 14 - Saturday Eric Himan 7:30 pm every month, 7 p.m. at the University Game Night - Flathead Valley Alliance 7 p.m., Call Susan at 406-257-5286 for more Congregational Church - Fireside Room (405 information. [Kallispell] University Avenue) ISCSM’s Imperial Crown Prince and Princess Show PFLAG Missoula / Five Valleys meeting, Show at 10:00 p.m. Door at 9:00 p.m. at Club Q $5.00 at the Door [Missoula] 3rd Saturday every month prior to potluck at the April 27 - Friday Betty 8:30pm University Congregational Church, call 406-721- Allies for GLBT Equality - NBCI 5013 or 406-541-0163 for more information. Pre-register by April 20th. $50 /$20 Living Lightly Fee includes lunch. ncbimissoula.org [Missoula] The Loft Nightclub , 3rd Tuesday of HIV+ Monthly Dinner May 25 - Friday Dance Party after the concert every month, 6:30 p.m. at the University Building Bridges - NBCI Congregational Church, call Nancy at 9:00 AM-4:00 PM June 16 -Saturday 406-543-4770. Pre-register by May 18th, $50 /$20 Living Lightly Breakfats 8 AM - 9:30PM Fee includes lunch. ncbimissoula.org [Missoula] Parade 10AM - 11AM Gay & Lesbian AA Meeting, every Monday 7 Rally on the Court House Lawn to 8:30 p.m., call Randy at 406-726-3525 Festival in North Park 12PM- 6:30PM LAMBDA PRIDE EVENTS Keep It Simple / Al-Anon Family Group Live Music, Vendors, Gay Games Drag Show - The Loft Night Club 9PM- Thursdays 5:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m.. Call Randy at Friday 04/06/07 10:30PM 406-726-3525 or Celia at 406-777-1169 Campus Pride Week Amateur Drag Show UC South Atrium 12 p.m.-1 p.m. FREE Dance Party after the concert University of Montana LAMBDA Alliance Come see fellow students perform! June 17 - Sunday General Meetings, every Monday, 7 p.m. at MC’d by Miss Kiara Drake Continental Breakfast 10AM the UC (Room 330), call 406-243-5922 for more Saturday 04/07/07 information. Pride Week Finale For information on events please call (406) 245 7 p.m.-9 p.m. Downtown @ Dauphine’s Come Living Forward Group: Men Who Are 2029 (Yellowstone AIDS Project) or email us at see the ISCSM perform! [email protected] Living With HIV, every Wednesday from 7 For more information contact LAMBDA to 9 p.m., call Andrew Laue, LCSW for more at [email protected] information at 406-327-9445. Strong and Getting Stronger: Men Who Do you have LGBTI events Get Freedom from Take Themselves Seriously (a process you want listed? Email us Headaches discussion group for men who have sex with by the 20th of each month with biofeedback men), every Tuesday from 7 to 9 p.m., call for the next issue! Send you Z’eva Singer, MA, MFT, LCPC Andrew Laue, LCSW for more information at email to: wmglccnews@ Licensed Counselor 406-327-9445. gaymontana.org with specializing in... Hot Springs, Montana, a Gay & Bisexual Calendar Event in the subject line. Events will be RESPONSES TO LOSS Men’s Support Group meets on Sunday HEALTH CONCERNS listed on a first come first evenings at 6 p.m.. Call 741-2810 for directions SINGER ASSOCIATES, P.C. SPIRITUAL CONSULTING and information. serve basis as space permits. 406.721.3351 COUPLES • CHILDREN • ADULTS

The Missoula Gayzette Page Community Resources Missoula Other communities in Montana Pacific Northwest & National Resources Gay & Lesbian AA Butte Men’s Support Group Meeting every Monday 7 - 8:30 p.m. at Lifeboat 406-491-1378 Advocates for Youth 532 University Ave. - Contact Randy at 406-726-3525 www.advocatesforyouth.org Butte AIDS Support Services Gay Men’s Chorus www.buttebass.org AEGIS: AIDS Education Global Meeting every Monday 7 - 9 p.m. at WMGLCC, Meet 1st Wednesday of each month Information Systems 127 N. Higgins Ave., Suite 202 - Contact Gary at Call Rick at 406-491-6125 www.endAIDSnow.org 406-370-9876 Flathead Valley Alliance The Body

Gay Men’s Task Force www.flatheadvalleyalliance.org www.thebody.com 406-829-8075 406-758-6707 Centers for Disease Control Imperial Sovereign Court of the Hot Springs, Montana Gay and Bisexual www.cdc.gov State of Montana Men’s Support Group Call Rosalinda de la Luna at 406-499-0078 or visit: Gay City 406-741-2810 http://www.iscsm.org www.gaycity.org LGBT - Friendly AA Bozeman Keep It Simple Al-Anon Family Group Gay Men’s Health Crisis 406-599-3230 406-726-3525 or 406-777-1169 www.gmhc.org LGBT State-wide Events The Lesbian Chat Human Rights Campaign www.qnewsmontana.com 406-543-2224 or 406-721-3824 www.hrc.org Lewis & Clark AIDS Project Living Forward Group: Just Out 530 S. Harris • Helena • 406-447-6030 Men Who Are Living With HIV www.justout.com Meet Wednesday evenings 7 - 9 p.m. Metropolitan Community Church Out Spokane Call Andrew Laue at 406-327-9445 1505 17th Avenue SW • Great Falls www.outspokane.com 406-771-1070 • www. mccmontana.org Missoula Aids Council Rev. Gina L. Hartung, Pastor Pacific Northwest Gay Rodeo Association 406-543-4770 Sunday Worship: 10:30 a.m. www.pacificnwgra.org Missoula City Health Department A Faith Community For ALL God’s People 406-258-4745 Montana Department of Public Health & Pride Foundation www.pridefoundation.org Officer Nicole Pifari Human Services LGBTI Liaison Officer Missoula Police Department www.dphhs.state.mt.us/hpsd Queer Core 435 Ryman Street • Missoula, MT 59802 Open Hands Foundation - Great Falls www.queercore.org (406) 552-6300 (main) • (406) 552-2286 (voice mail) [email protected] (police email) www.openhandsfoundation.org Stonewall News Northwest [email protected] (wmglcc email) 406-868-8382 www.stonewallnews.net Alternate meeting place: WMGLCC QSA - MSU Wyoming Rural AIDS Prevention Project Outfield Alliance www.qsamsu.com www.wrapp.net A Coalition of LGBTI faculty, graduate students, staff 406-994-4636 and their supporters at the University of Montana. Email [email protected] or Seeker’s Harbor Faith Community call 406-243-2762 Billings PFLAG Missoula www.seekersharbor.org Meets 3rd Saturday each month prior to Community 406-661-1584 Potluck, University Congregational Church Tri - State HELP Eastern Region 405 University Ave. Call 406-721-5013 or 406-541-0163 406-245-2029 Stronger and Getting Stronger: Men Who Take Themselves Seriously Yellowstone City-County Health Department Meet Tuesday evenings 7 - 9 p.m. Call Andrew Laue at 406-327-9445 406-247-3376 Transgender Support Group Yellowstone Aids Project Contact Anne Harris at 406-543-2224 406-245-2029

U of M Lambda Alliance Do you have LGBTI resources you want listed? 406-243-5922 Email us by the 20th of each month for the next issue! Send you email to: wmglccnews@ University Congregational Church gaymontana.org with Resources in the 405 University Avenue, Missoula subject line. Resources will be listed on a first http://www.uccmsla.org • 406-543-6952 come first serve basis as space permits.

Page The Missoula Gayzette The Western Montana Gay & Lesbian Community Center’s Best of Missoula!

Best fine dining restaurant...... Red Bird Best dressed...... Mark Heyka Best place to grab a quick bite...... Taco del Sol Best place to come out...... Missoula Best vegetarian meal...... Tipu’s Tiger Best place to talk sex...... The Rhino Best live music venue...... The Union Club Missoula AIDS Counsel Best local musician/band...... Purrbot Best chef...... Scott Gill of Scotty’s Table Best coffee shop...... The Catalyst Best local LGBTIQ Advocate...... Jon Freeland of FDH & Best martini...... Finn and Porter Associates Best local brewery...... Kettlehouse Best webpage...... The Gay Men’s Health Task Best local beer...... Cold Smoke Force Best bakery...... Bernice’s Bakery Best adult bookstore...... Fantasy for Adults Best bookstore...... Shakespeare & Co. Best drag king...... Poppa Cherry Best local sports team...... The Grizzlies Best drag queen...... Ophelia Uppe-Bouviér Best day hike from Missoula...... The Rattlesnake Wilderness Best bar...... The Rhino Best mountain bike trail...... The Rattlesnake Wilderness Best outdoor make-out spot...... Greenough Park Best outdoor gear shop...... The Trailhead Best place to get your groove on...... The Loft Best doggy day care...... Go Fetch Club Q Best women’s clothing...... Betty’s Divine Best place to watch the Griz game...... Washington-Grizzly Stadium Best men’s clothing...... Crazy Daisy Best church...... University Congregational Best LGBT non-profit...... WMGLCC Church Best place to get your HIV test...... Missoula AIDS Counsel Best nursery...... Caras Nursery Best study spot...... Mansfield Library Best florist...... Bitterroot Flower Shop Best place to get a massage...... “My bedroom” Best hot springs...... Jerry Johnson & Weir Best place for a manicure/pedicure.....Sorella’s Salon and Day Spa Best bartender...... Anne @ The Rhino Best place for a facial...... Sorella’s Salon and Day Spa Claude @ The Golden Rose Best hairstylists...... Alexei Carlisle - Cutting Crew Best place to buy wine...... Orange Street Food Farm Carly Jenkins - Sorella’s Best grocery store...... Good Food Store Best place to get your yoga on...... The Yoga Center Best place to shop...... Good Food Store Best gym...... Campus Rec (the U of M gym) Best coffee...... The UC Market Best place to pick up men...... The Union Club Best place to take a date...... The Red Bird Wine Bar Best place to pick up women...... Club Q Best DJ...... DJ Mora Cass Maggot Fest Best jewelry...... Janette Rankin Peace Center Best place to avoid...... Reserve Street.. Best park...... Greenough Park Best AmVets karaoke singer...... Mija Best radio station...... KBGA 89.9 FM

Steve Knight, LCSW Psychotherapist

Counseling Individuals, Couples, and Families Ongoing men’s group

543-3170 or [email protected]

The Missoula Gayzette Page My Dirty Little Secret By Frank Klin I have a dirty little secret. Behind closed doors cializing in healing sexual brokenness. and the Western Montana Gay & Lesbian Com- where my gay neighbors won’t see, you’ll find me “There was a really beautiful comment made munity Center is on the front lines, leading the most mornings prostrate on the floor. I have to at one of our screenings at Sundance where a way to help us achieve just that. hide the books and magazines normally lying man stood up and announced himself as Evan- The center is now hosting a monthly LGBTIQ on my nightstand and coffee table when my gay gelical and gay and said it was a more frightening Christian support group on the 4th Wednesday friends come over because I don’t want them to experience for him to come out as Christian in the of every month beginning at 7 p.m. I applaud know about my secret life. I peruse the Internet gay community than it was for him to come out the board for voting favorably to test the waters looking for others like myself to meet with clan- as gay in the Christian community,” Allen said. “I for a group like this. To me, the center is a neu- destinely. The few gay people who know my se- get it. As the gay community, we’ve been so hurt tral environment away from all the trappings of cret don’t understand and shun me or tell me to by what has been done in the name of Christ that a “church,” even a gay supportive one. It’s a safe change. They don’t want to hear anything about there’s an automatic knee-jerk, get this away from place to dialogue, share our stories, to reconnect “that” part of my life. I can only talk to them about me reaction on the part of many gay individuals with our spirituality and to reach out to those “gay” things. at the mere mention of Jesus, or Christ or any reli- who have been broken, betrayed and rejected. It Once a week I go a place where I feel doubly gion for that matter. And it’s tough. There’s a lot of is also a safe place for the curious to find out what exposed. My gay friends can’t understand why pain that we will have to walk through in order to this Christianity thing is all about. I would want to go to a place they perceive ex- sort of embrace our spirituality, but I think that’s Most of the time I feel isolated in my small poses me to hatred and bigotry. Others at this as- happening. And just like with any individual who Montana town of Hamilton and I don’t know sembly look at me and say the fact that I’m gay is comes to find faith, when you’re able to open up where to find other Christians. I would like affir- a secret that needs to be brushed under the rug your heart and allow the healing to begin beauti- mation of my faith and sexuality from my “family” and hidden from others. My dirty little secret it ful things happen.” in the community and to have a group meeting that I am a gay Christian and feel torn between Allen’s words resonate with me. Growing at the center is a step in the right direction. my spirituality, sexuality and other people’s per- up in a Christian family and then discovering I Besides this new group at the center, I know spectives on the two issues. was gay has not been an easy road. It seems the of a wonderful gay Christian online community Out actor and producer Chad Allen discussed “church” has forgotten its mission to reach those at Gaychristian.net. Locally there are a couple his latest film “Save Me” on a recent Internet radio who are hurting and lost. It becomes a double- of Christian church congregations that are open broadcast. It’s a story about redemption, where edged sword when many in the gay community and affirming: University Congregational Church Mark, a lost young gay man leads a wild life of don’t understand why someone like me would in Missoula and St. Stephen’s Episcopal in Ste- drugs and meaningless sex, searching desper- want religion, God and Christianity in their lives. vensville. For more info, email or call Harry at ately to fill the emptiness in his soul. When Mark Can these two groups that seem opposed to one [email protected] 406-829-6386 or Frank at hits bottom, his brother checks him into Genesis another come together? Can someone like me [email protected] 406-363-3071 . House, a 12-step, Christian, “ex-gay” ministry spe- reconcile his faith and sexuality? I believe we can Students Organize in Support of Obama Student group forms in support of 2008 presidential candidate, First such group in Montana A coalition of students from The University the Western Montana Gay & Lesbian Community The Associated Students of The University of Montana called Students for Barack Obama, Center. “This group allows us to network with of Montana voted unanimously to approve the earned its recognition as an official student other students who feel passionate about having student organization, making it the first student group and will begin holding regular meetings Obama in the White House and gives us the tools group to kick off the 2008 presidential election to bolster support for the 2008 presidential we need to motivate other students to feel that season at UM. candidate as soon as next week. The group is a same passion.” The chapter was started by Nathan Kosted, a chapter of the national organization. The group’s page on the social networking site law student at UM, who was appointed director “After years of division under President Facebook has 200 new members in the last two by the national organization in February. The Bush, Obama has a profound ability to make weeks and unofficial meetings held on campus group has three coordinators: James Greer, Susan Democratic and Republican voters see that we earlier last month drew several dozen eager Minichiello and Jim Zadick. have far more in common than what seems to students. The group’s goals include fundraising “Barack Obama is a fresh voice and a new hope drive us apart,” said James Greer, coordinator with and canvassing door-to-door for the Obama for politics,” said Kosted. “He speaks the truth and Students for Barack Obama and board member of campaign. is for the best interests of all Americans.”  THROWING YOUR MONEY STOP!! OUT THE WINDOW Replace those leaking doors & windows with energy efficient units today! 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Page The Missoula Gayzette steve-1up 1 12/4/06 2:23:19 PM Skeg & Wrench: Missoula’s Relationship Mechanics Sleepovers and Lesbian Bed Death Q. My partner, Sue, has developed a new, close Dear Sleepless, up stranded on the highway with a sore derriere, friendship with a lesbian who I¹ll call Anne. Sue choking on her dust. (I am not going easy on you has been spending a lot of time with her in the YIKES!! Having been stumped and here, but you¹ll thank me later.) last few months. I didn¹t give it much thought dumped in an eerily similar situation, I will tell and was happy she¹d found a new friend to pal you now to beware. You are NOT crazy, and Still coughing, around with, until she started sleeping over at yes, in my opinion, sleepovers are reserved Skeg for sweethearts, very good old friends, and Anne¹s house, every time “it got too late to drive seventh graders. If there is nothing “romantic” Dear Sleepless in Missoula, home.” Anne recently broke up with her partner, going on between Sue and Anne, then there and although she has a number of other friends, is no reason you shouldn¹t be invited into your We always seem to worry about when she seems pretty focused on spending time GF¹s new friendship at least peripherally. If Anne our partner crosses the sexual boundary with with Sue. I don¹t want to become the jealous supposedly respects your GF, then she needs to girlfriend, but I¹m really uncomfortable with the extend her respect to your relationship as well. someone else. Wake up girlfriend! In order to cross “sleepovers,” especially since I have yet to be And that means she needs to respect YOU. If after the sexual boundary of betrayal, the emotional invited to be part of their friendship. Am I crazy some discussion with your partner, you discover betrayal comes first! By this time, Sue has already or is my concern justifiable?? she is more concerned about having her own fun stepped out of intimate relationship with you than fostering trust in your relationship, then she and stepped way into relating with Anne. This Signed, is clearly not respecting you or your relationship. will cause you great unrest and will push you to Sleepless in Missoula If that’s the case, then I would take the teetering on the brink of insanity. Take care of high road today, babe, and in your own car. yourself in this one, my dear and RUN! Otherwise you¹ll be hoping your ass has enough padding to soften the hit when she pushes you Intimately, out of the family mobile at 70 mph, and you end Wrench

Q. My girlfriend, (I¹ll call her Carla) and I have Dear Baffled, been together for almost three years, and we Well, darlin¹, it sounds like your Carla has Dear Baffled in Bozo, started living together about six months ago. a big case of cold feet, or should I say frostbite, Carla has slammed the heart door closed Everything has been going really well since and she will soon be facing amputation if she and is relying on routine to carry her through the moving in together except for our lovemaking. doesn’t examine those frozen toes! Building a impending doom of Lesbian Bed Death. This may It’s non-existent at best. home together is a big step in either creating be a phase, or it may become a permanent resident When I bring it up, Carla says it’s because a deeper intimacy between two people, or in in your otherwise perfect relationship. Carla is we are so busy all the time and not to worry, it discovering that you’re actually less compatible fearfully holding the key to her own heart and will pass. However, there is always a reason not than you thought. It sounds like your girlfriend communication is paramount—but when is it not? to make love: too busy, too tired, have to get is in an emotional holding pattern—she’s like a It is important for both of you to step up up early. I fear the dreaded Lesbian Bed Death deer caught in the headlights, which is affecting to the process plate and start talking about your Monster has arrived! I¹ve always been attracted her ability to be sexually intimate with you. fears and anxieties, and stop dancing in the land to Carla, and I love her, and I¹m afraid she doesn¹t It’s all about communication, not of excuses! Grab your phasers gals, Lesbian Bed feel the same about me anymore. There never assumption. Try checking in with her in a Death is on your doorstep! It will take both of you seems to be a good time to even talk about different way. Make her a lovely candlelit dinner, to paralyze it so it does not take one step further this issue. I can¹t believe this is happening. I am look her in the eyes, and ask her how she’s feeling into your relationship. baffled and feeling heartbroken. What should I about living in your new home. If you take the do? initiative to make a safe space for her to tell you Just say no to LBD! how she’s feeling, and she is able to engage with Wrench Signed, you, then hurrah! The daily grind may just shift Baffled in Bozeman back into the bedroom. If not, then I would suggest finding your own place as soon as you can, because your sweetheart isn’t ready for a “big girl” relationship just yet.

My best, Skeg

About the Mechanics: Skeg is a lesbian of the nomadic sort. She loves to surf, ski and travel with her dog on various adventures from coast to coast. Skeg’s tutu fell off during a ballet recital when she was in the first grade. She hasn’t been able to sit still since. She loves trees, books about the Shannone Hart Global Private Clients Numinous and glassblowing. Financial Advisor Wrench wields many a tool when it comes to the study of lesbian culture. She currently 330 N. Higgins Ave resides and thrives on matters of the heart, and although she still wonders what she is Missoula, Montana 59802 supposed to be when she grows up, she knows that pink dresses are not to be worn in public. 406 829 2480 She loves dogs, big trucks and the Catalyst. 877 245 2480 FAX 406 365 1033 Questions for Skeg and Wrench can be sent via email to [email protected].  [email protected]

The Missoula Gayzette Page Black and

White Ball 2007 A Special Thanks to our Sponsors Platinum John Brown Christy Schilke Andy Laue and Rafael Chacon John Jacobs Ellie Sigrist, M.A., Mediator Craig Mungas and Colton Martini Josh Peters-McBride Faye and Dan Warren Curtis Semenza and Kirt Eastman, Mark Ottman Fireside Coffee, Helena, Dan Semenza Construction Mark Sembach and Joe Tralango Fountaine, owner Imperial Sovereign Court of the Mike Henry and Norm Wade Elke Pont Scholl State of Montana Montana Gay Men’s Task Force Gary Bowman Jane O’Holly Productions Patrick Weasel Head and Rob Greg and Cindy Ondrak Dr. Judy Schmidt Collier Harry Kotlarz Kristin Young and Tracy L. Sherick Pimlico Book Company, Steven, Harry Sheets Dr. Lynn and Jolyn Montgomery, Elizabeth, and Seth Bloom Janice and Myron Heitzman The Birth Center Dr. R.D. Marks and Lisa Degroot Kenneth Fremont-Smith Montana Good Works Foundation Representative Diane Sands KD Dickinson, Portico Real Estate Montana Pride Network Richard Harris and Gary Anderson Katie Van Dorn, Properties 2000 Quality Maintenance Enterprises, Rick Beck and Matt Zdanek Dr. Lar Autio and Susan Ridgeway INC. Travis Denevan Lynne Shaara, A Can of Worms, Pride Foundation LLC. Shane Vannatta and Jon Freeland Silver Mark Heyka Shannone Hart, Merrill Lynch 9 Mile Schoolhouse Martha Buser and Kelly Sax, Walla Walla College, School of Alan Pate Catalyst Café & Espresso Bar Social Work Anne Harris and Sue Lynn Mayer Mindy Palmer, Lambros Real Bernie Kneefe, LCSW Estate Gold Blue Mountain Clinic Patti Copple Pearl Café Dr. Bill and Leigh Ann Bekemeyer Bob Homer Phyllis Powell, Paws For Bryan Spellman Bobby Tollefson Compassion Club Q Bruno and Marsha Friia, Lambros Richard Blumberg Dave and Suzanne Peterson, Real Estate Robert Waugh Quality Supply Caitlin Copple, Happy Body Scott Oak and Jamie Smith Deborah Gladeback, Portico Real Massage Therapy and Pilates Susan and Charles Freeland Estate Cat Carrel Treasure State Transportation Jim Neustrom and Dwight Auch, Charlotte Kasl Will Row Valley Furniture Dr. Amy Haynes, N.D., L.A.C. & Dr. Christine White, N.D. Black & White Ball Update! This year’s ball raised $15,847.22 (with almost half from our generous sponsors.) An estimated 300 people attended! Don’t forget, mark your calendars for next year’s ball to be held March 8, 2008.