October/November 2017 (16 MB)
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VOLUME 4 ISSUE 5 OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2017 ©Werner Lichtenberger ©Werner Mayor Fred Eisenberger presented the Monarch Awards to winners in September. Full story inside. From retirement residence to was listen, or go there and reassure her My dad is an upstanding citizen. He that everything would be okay, though I worked for 40 years, paid his taxes, and long-term care: knew it probably wouldn’t be. when he needed the system, it failed him. The PSWs and VON who helped Dad Clearly the system is broken. were excellent but they had so many To help you with your journey to One dad’s heartbreaking journey clients to see and they were run off their placement in long term care, I offer by Kathryn Shanley feet. On the July long weekend, I was the following suggestions from my out of town and got a frantic call in the experience: here’s no way my mom can look the VON (Victoria Order of Nurses). morning from my Mom. The service that • Understand the differences in servi- Tafter my dad. You can’t send him But Mom and Dad lived in a retire- sends the PSWs couldn’t find anyone ces offered by retirement residences home,” I gasped. “She’s 83 with a bad ment residence, not a nursing home. to help Dad after the morning visit. and long-term care facilities. back and he can’t walk!” Retirement residences are not designed He would have to sit in his wheelchair • Call your doctor or the LHIN to The deer-in-the-headlights look on to provide nursing care that Dad needed. until 7 a.m. the following day. They said start the assessment process for your my mother’s weary face echoed my own Because of a pre-existing condition, Dad they’d do their best. Do their best? How loved one. fears. “Our CCAC Co-ordinator (now left the hospital with a catheter, which can you leave an elderly man sitting in • Be polite but persistent and don’t be Local Health Integration Networks – can present its own challenges including a wheelchair for almost 24 hours? After afraid to ask questions. LHIN) will meet you and set up some higher risk of infection for the patient. we pleaded with the co-ordinator, they • Make appointments, visit several services for your dad at home,” she Every time Dad had an infection, he was found someone, but we as a family were long-term care facilities and ask replied. I knew “some services at home” loaded into an ambulance and sent to the prepared to look after my dad. questions. didn’t translate to care 24/7. Panic set in. emergency room where he lay for hours As the months passed we became • Keep in touch with your LHIN What if he falls on her? What if she has on a gurney in an ER hallway alongside revolving ER patients. I remember one case manager and call if you have a heart attack? My dad, 86 and suffering many other elderly patients. winter night huddling in the bay area questions. from Alzheimer’s, had already been as- In the spring, we moved Mom and of the ER—snow blowing in the door, • Financial assistance is available if sessed and was on what seemed like an Dad to a seniors residence in an apart- under a blanket given to us by the para- you qualify. endless list for a long-term care bed. ment so we could save some money for medics, my heart breaking for the four • Don’t give up. After insisting that Dad have an as- when they’d have to live separately. At elderly patients also waiting to be seen The Ontario government has an excel- sessment by the physiotherapist assigned 83 years of age, my Mom, with a heart by the triage nurse, as well as the other lent website: www.ontario.ca/page/ to him at the hospital, the therapist condition and a bad back, became Dad’s patients in the hallways. find-long-term-care-home. It provides agreed it wasn’t safe to send him home primary caregiver. He can’t wash or We started to feel isolated and alone. information about long-term care facili- and he was transferred to another hos- dress himself, use the bathroom, take The hospitals didn’t want us because Dad ties, the cost of a long-term care room, pital in the city for rehab. This was the care of his catheter, or be left alone. He wasn’t sick enough; the seniors residence financial assistance, and how to apply. start of our long and frustrating search needs to be transferred in and out of his could offer only limited help; and we Everyone’s journey is different. With pa- for a long-term care facility in Hamilton. wheelchair. were still patiently waiting to get into a tience and persistence, we found the light Our journey is far from unique. I would love to have had my Mom nursing home. After almost nine months at the end of the tunnel, and so will you. After several weeks in rehab, Dad and Dad live with me, but my sister and of ongoing distress we got the call. Dad regained some strength in his legs, but brother-in-law, both with disabilities, al- was accepted into our first choice of Kathryn Shanley is a content writer and still couldn’t support his weight very ready live with me. There’s just no room. nursing home. The tears rolled down my social media marketer in Hamilton. When well. We were reluctant to leave the A second sister is a single parent who cheeks and I couldn’t catch my breath. she’s not navigating the social media hospital, but were assured we’d have help works full time. Mom would call me, We’d made it. stratosphere, she’s snapping pictures from personal support workers from a crying, in the middle of the night and I His new facility and staff are wonderful around the city or sipping a chai latte at local nursing agency and nurses from felt completely helpless. All I could do and he hasn’t been to the ER in weeks. one of Crown Point’s cozy cafes. 2 THE POINT • OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2017 SPIRIT OF CROWN POINT Second, cultivate a curious mind as a way to engage Embracing aging in the aging process. We are creatures of habit and love to keep our routines. However, it’s good to step by Rev. Shelley Smith out of our comfort zone from time to time. Why not take a class, join an action group, become a volunteer. he concept of aging is a challenging topic because Crown Point is becoming a mecca of diverse activities, Twe all have different perspectives. businesses, and volunteer groups so take advantage of all However, our shared humanity includes aging so it offers to us. perhaps the question is, how are we going to engage in Third, spend time with different generations. If you PUBLISHER this aging process in a way that is going to be life-giving are young, spend time with elderly people and vice- Cynthia Lokker for our spirits? I suggest three ways to embrace aging as • versa. We all have our own unique gifts, experiences, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF a beautiful and natural process. and skills to share with the world. Remember that First, no matter what age we are on our spiritual Sean Hurley elderly people were once young with hopes and dreams. • journeys, cultivating an attitude of gratitude is Our elders are a wonderful resource for society. EDITING AND PROOF TEAM important to living with grace, hope, and love. We are hard-wired for connection and connecting Tyler Fish, Jeff Hayward, Sean Hurley, Deborah LeBaron, An older friend of mine shared a story with me Sarah Leyenaar, Tiffany Madden, Michelle Martin, with all ages connects our spirits. Remember we share Elisha Stam, Matt Terry, Bev Wagar last month that was a powerful example of the our humanity and some of us are just further along the transformational aspect of living with gratitude. • journey than others. I end now with the beautiful words DESIGN AND PRODUCTION TEAM She met with five of her former colleagues for lunch. from the song, Circle of Life by Elton John: Johanna Chaytor, Elizabeth Seidl Now in their eighties, they still got together once a • year to share the joys and challenges of aging. They ADVERTISING SALES In the circle of life Cynthia Lokker had become quite boisterous over lunch and my friend It’s the wheel of fortune noticed a middle-aged couple watching them. My friend [email protected] It’s the leap of faith • apologized for being so noisy. The woman responded It’s the band of hope DELIVERY MANAGER the couple were just enjoying watching them enjoy Till we find our place Tim Brand themselves. It gave her hope that as they aged they too • On the path unwinding ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS could enjoy the company of good friends and laughter. In the circle, the circle of life When my friend’s group went to pay the bill, the waiter Hamilton Community Foundation showed it paid in full by the couple. The couple, perhaps May we continue to grow and age together with CONTACT THE POINT filled with fear and trepidation at the aging process grace and hope and love in this amazing community. and all the challenges that can come with it, had been WRITE c/o 16 Grosvenor Ave S., Hamilton, ON L8M 3K9 buoyed by this experience.