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The Synergyenergyof

ir\ i that would the tuxedo-clad male LORI DYSIEVICK the crowd, a practice amongst dl Cord Entertainment be repeated throughout the night. models until the end of the scene

The moment the lights went down, This was the first crowd-pleasing when they seductively untucked

went used to their hair and the crowd crazy. WLU's technique that was bring literally ripped open j. w their annual high charity fashion the audience into the show. shirts, (they were wearing i energy black rnw performance entitled Synergy '97 Next, a hip-hop scene, "Hip- tops underneath). '97 was met with enthusiastic antici- Hop, Ya Don't Stop," featured the Synergy featured the annu-

first pation from an ecstatic crowd on dance leader wearing a micro- al event's bathing suit scene in

few with models Saturday night. The crowd's phone to interact with the audi- a years, dancing

and and around in bikinis and The expectations were completely ence eventually run in wraps.

catered to - the entire show was pick out a girl to dance with. seventh scene opened with models

with crowd touches. the third the crowd with filled pleasing "Margarita", scene, gave whisking through

More female models the and onto props, special effects, experi- some opportu- flashlights sunglasses up

mental stunts and excellent stag- nity demostrate their strength by a stage sheathed in smoke while

made the show difficult and the theme to Mission: ing exceptionally holding poses prove song

creative and original. An especially that they aren't afraid to kick up Impossible played. Then the cur-

nice touch" was the move from two their skirts. The "fitness" scene fol- tains open partially to reveal sets

MC's With their theatrical in which the the to four. lowed, models wore a of models working runway to

and the selection of U2's Yet the entertaining dialogue, great workout wear "Discotheque". real

MC's the show the and with unbroken work in the pushed over zipped energy came following scene,

edge, from great to fantastic. through boxercise, cardio-funk, "MenAt Work", the all-male scene

the 'sort of The opening scene featured all and step aerobics. in which models wore

and coveralls. The models sixty-four cast members on stage The formal scene to overalls of the (which was a feat in itself on a Madonna's "Material Girl", was redefined the meaning word

stage that small) dancing together very theatrical. The models threw "provocative" with their push-ups

and level fake the audience and and that real men establishing the infinite money into proved yes, can

of energy that continued through- floated around with feather boas dance.

out the entire show. Many mem- and fans. Three female models

bers came on the stage through dressed in tuxedos blended in -Continued on page 20

News • • • • • 3 International 10 • Opinion 12 • Student Life 16 Sporto 14 Entertainment 20 Classifieds 25 Brain Candy 26

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WLU students 1st place winners at Queen's

LORI DYSIEVICK She deserves a lot of credit."

Cord News When asked for a comment Rice

I This past weekend, four 2nd yr. said,"l am so proud. am so happy

work hard Business students, Leslie Berger, to with such a working

Stefanie Mclver, Joe Thompson and bunch of students."

Reagan Ruslin placed first out of 24 The team's plan was for a busi-

teams from across Canada in the ness called "Custom Fit Creations,"

that Queen's Entrepreneur Competition. a tuxedo business brings formal

The competition, sponsored by wear, including fitting and rental,

Coopers & Lybrand and Canadian directly to the customer's location.

Business Magazine, is open to any All four team members dressed in

full-time under graduate student in tuxedos to present their plan to the

Canada. Nine teams were selected panel. from across Canada to travel to OiOHd "The skills we learned competing Kingston to present their business against 3rd and 4th year business plans for the final round of competi- students across the country is

tion. immeasurable. Being number one The presentation is made in •jlavWSuW in the country is a huge honour, but front of a panel of five judges, a beating both Queen's and Western 3 partner from Coopers and Lybrand, was most rewarding for me." said a partner Deloitte & Touche, repre- Left Stefanie Leslie and with team member Joe Thompson. From to Right: Mclver, Berger, Joe Thompson Reagan Ruslin pose sentatives from Scotiabank and the Overall the competition was a their $3,500.00 cheque, the reward for winning the Coopers and Lybrand Gold Medal for Royal Bank of Canada, and a writer tuxedos their tuxedo firm huge success for the team. "The Entrepreneurial Excellence, they sport to promote agency proposal. from Canadian Business Magazine. thing that I enjoyed the most about

to to two teams class for which the students had to teams The students have thirty minutes how committed you are your Queen's, from Western, the weekend was meeting the make their presentation followed by idea," said team member Reagan one from Brock, one from RMC, one develop a business plan as a term from other schools," said team

a question and answer period in Ruslin. from Saskatchewan and one from project. As soon as the students member Leslie Berger. Ruslin

team next front of an audience and then a less When the team arrived on St. Mary's. The Laurier pre- heard about the competition, they added, "I hope that year WLU formal debriefing session. Thursday evening there was a wine sented on Friday. were interested. "We had our sights does send teams to (the competi-

During the debriefing session, and cheese held, at which the teams Professor Barabra Rice first told set on the competition from the get tion), we hope that we have started

"the judges feel you out, see how learned the order of the presenta- the students about the business go," said Ruslin, "and Barbara Rice a winning tradition." well you know your business and tions. There were two teams from competition in her Business 211 really pushed us and believed in us.

Donna French visits WLU

Kristin French's mother delivers poignant message

victimized ANGELA ORTICELLO Donna French hopes that her people, dying to hear gruesome maintaining French's faith in justice her daughter. It is against

Cord News motivate to of lined in Section 486 section 486 and section 745 of the story will help people details the case, up days being served. of the first and One in four females will be sexually put an end to these faults. advance to get into the courtroom. criminal code came very near to crminal code, which allows assaulted in their lifetime. From Throughout her speech, she contin- Books focusing on the case became allowing the tapes to be viewed in second degree murderers to apply

1982-1994 violence mentioned how she number sellers. French the that Donna against Women ually felt one court. considered for early release, increased with facts child French would like to take by 60%. It was betrayed by the media. When Recall the constant sensational footage was blunt pornogra- people such these that Donna French Kristin had first been the of the in the action. as missing, coverage story paper phy. began speaking last Wednesday Through petitions, phone calls, when she visited Laurier to raise "Justice will not be rightly served until and letters, French encourages the awareness about not only violence public to contact MPs MPPs and the against women, but violence in gen- the public voices their justice minister. French feels justice eral. unhappiness will not be rightly served until the

Donna French, mother of Kristin public's voices their unhappiness with the current French of St. Catharines, stressed system." with the current system, which is

killer's that the impact of violence cannot more concerned with the be understood until it is media was and under- and the the At the of the than the of the victim. experi- supportive on evening news as "indulgence" court, rights rights enced. then it is media the French's the would Donna French is determined Unfortunately by standing. profited on it was decided that videos to too late. French knows this too When Kristin's visible to those make difference. She asks her only body was found, tragedy. be only necessary, a

well, her Kristin the media thank God not that the audio of the audience if her for as daughter was however, became very We can say, this is but portion daughter fought

assaulted and murdered in insensitive toward but be A her sexually aggressive and happening to me, as Donna tape would aired in court. copy dignity during every moment of

of 1992. the French French French "The of the audio the media her abuse can't we? April family's feelings. stressed, difference was given to painful why

French that her will felt and her between and French Kristin's hopes story betrayed, disgusted faith you a victim is one sec- to review in a different room. dramatically stated,

encourage those who hear it to take in the media was shattered. The ond." French was appalled by how the eyes are closed, ours are not."

a stand entire sensationalized against violence. case was as The justice system also failed in justice system was failing to protect

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theCord March 19,1997 3 ;> jfcwpfc , •"•' % BIIIBIBIIpI

IH^Hp

Saturday, sth, 1 pm.

Science &u m

Celebrate the announcement of the renaming of the S.U.B. for Dean Fred Nichols -(News)

Irish eyes smiling on St. Patty's Day at Wilf's

JENNIFER CLARKE reaching down to the first floor Brick Brewery and Labatt's. Patrons

Cord News bank machines. were treated with live Irish music

There calls for from the also known There could have been green alliga- were no WLU Leprakrauts,

involvement Biverworks, well tors and long-necked geese March security on campus as as as face-paint- Patrick's that of the and free with each Irish 17 at Wilfs during their St. evening. However, one ing, mugs day celebrations, but few people few altercations of the evening at coffee purchase.

a to make confir- Wilfs occurred around when Owner and founder of Brick were in position a 7 p.m.

the beer start- overzealous male Jim Brickman, to mation. With green one or more Brewery came the ing at 11:30 a.m. and lasting until 2 patrons damaged most of ceiling Wilfs during the afternoon, was

with free tiles in bathroom stall. with the decor and a.m, patrons were greeted a very impressed of the staff. green paper hats and tiaras, song Yet, still pleased with most sheets and every fifth person patron involvement Wilf's Bar Playfair attributes this year's suc- received a t-shirt. Manager Dave Playfair stated, "St. cess to "innovative marketing,

The Union estimates Patrick's celebrations Student's Day have pre- strong word of mouth, strong sup- that nearly a quarter of the campus' viously had some pitfalls, but this port from the breweries, and an :010Hd with population came through the doors year they were just friendly a appropriate band, the Leprakrauts of Wilfs, resulting in record food lot of Laurier spirit." and especially the hard-work of all NNV The enthusiastic Third Gail the and drink sales. year Sociology student volunteers"

asked leave the "It fun and continued party-goers were to Longley said, was a Playfair by saying,

for half hour at the end of "this St. Patrick's shows pub an 7:30 p.m. in friendly atmosphere. By year's Day NOSNDtSfIH order for staff to restock supplies, the night most of the tables just the potential of similar events to be

and allow for a short became table." held at Wilfs." addition, change kegs, one great big In money break. after- drawn raised for Muscular Erin Go Green Irish Coffee and accessories Immediately filling up Prizes were nearly every was Dystrophy Bragh! beer, green outside of Wilfs with the of the "Buck for Luck" the Irish in Wilf's wards, the line-up twenty minutes support through promo- brought out everyone at on Monday. from the the door. lasted until 12: 55 a.m., at one point corporate sponsorship tionat

OUSA at Culture Shock

WLU ERIC HENRY the experiences and perspectives sive. i Cord News commentary of women are valid, but they are Surely if want to write about

has been mind often treated differ- the and culture erf Feminism on my as something strange amazing

recently. In my education, I have ent from the main body of theory. Laurier, which has always been

LORI DYSIEVICK and rebate in this column, I need study programs pro- written from every theoretical Feminism is a subcategoiy, some- my attempt

Cord News than half the grams. background except for this one. thing that is acknowledged, but to include more stu-

This weekend dent Culture Is past approximately Raptis was especially pleased It's bothering me because I don't shoved into a separate chapter. population. inclu-

22 convened WLU with the and I need delegates at for a opportunity to convene know IfI can. Think about it. I'm a Feminism is treated as a critique sive, and to include both conference of OUSA, the Ontario discuss the with his and inItself. and Is it issues in person guy. What am I supposed toknow of theory, not theory men women. possible? Student Undergraduate Alliance. fellow OUSA representatives. "You about feminism, Mid yet, it has a AH of these thoughts came at a Or should the Cord recruit a from traditional female for me? Representatives Brock, don't always pick up everyone's con- large place in anthropology. A lull time when the stereo- counterpart

Waterloo, Windsor and in the is I'm that 1 exclude Western, cerns, general assembly you half of another culture experi- type was expressed as "Men do hoping never

Toronto met at WLU to bounce ideas off from but I'm discuss poli- can people." enced by women. But in the past, theory". Women do something women ray thinking, that male bias occasional- cies specifically regarding student The delegates attended Synergy their experience has been margin- else. Women write feminism As sure ray financial assistance and '97 end of bound- recent on Friday night after the alized. far as I can tell, there is a ly creeps in. 1 must constantly changes to federal and their first discussion. will be crossed. Women evaluate work from the provincial On Saturday Traditionally, a man go to ary yet to my per- dinner "done" ofthe other budgets. evening they enjoyed a at the study a foreign culture, write have subsequently theory. spective gender.

According to VP:University Olde English Parlour and listened to about it, and then later a woman But can men"do" feminism? As Fox Mulder once said, Tm

Affairs the weekend will arrive deodor- George Raptis, keynote speaker, David Scott, repre- and study a foreign cul- That's my question. Asa man, told that even though my was productive. There were three sentative on the Council of Ontario ture from a female perspective. am I capable of, ifnot experiencing ant is made for a woman, it's issues the the loan lob- The Is book is for man." on table, forgive- Universities, speak on effective man entitled "The a woman's perspective, at least strong enough a ness schedule included in Paul bying, then went to Wilfs Comedy Strange and Amazing Culture of conveying that perspective? Am I likewise, even though feminism is Martin's federal made for budget that was Night. Laurier" and the woman's book, qualified to write about a woman's women, its theory is released in The "I think "The of Can relevant both February. delegates it was a very productive Women the Strange and experience? ray testosterone extremely to gen- discussed how it will affect students meeting," said Raptis. When asked Amazing Culture of Laurier". ridden mind, reeking ofsweat and ders. and what OUSA do better about the can to delegates' impression of We have long recognized that alcohol, even hope to be so inclu- represent the students. WLU, Raptis glowed. "We totally The item second was a proposal showed Laurier off. They heard all from of the Association Universities this stuff about WLU being such a and Colleges of Canada. friendly school. When they got to

Representing the AUCC was Alex WLU they couldn't believe how true

Usher, who the it was." One had explained proposal delegate even com- and whatit meantat a federal level. mented to Raptis that they wished

Thirdly the delegates discussed they had considered WLU when ACURA grants in the AUCC proposal. The choosing which university to attend, with included deferred "but can't which proposal grants you say one," Designed puipose. and and smiled, "that would special opportunity grants Raptis person Driven by passion. tax included new incentives, work kill me, but what a compliment!"

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theCord March 19,1997 5 (News) West Virginia visits WLU

weekend. "It was their first time the choreographing, every- LORI DYSIEVICK before the snowstorm started. On Friday, the group visited directing, different hire to do that here and it was a experi- excited about all the Robert Art Gallery, met thing. They people Cord News "They were so Langden for them. in ence They were really sur- For the WLU's snow" said Dean Nichols in inter- with of the Student stuff West Virginia. They thought past seven years, an representatives the in the communi- the of the that students have so much prised by spirit Dean of Students Fred Nichols, has view. "We hate it, but they don't get Union departments, Office our and at WLU." taken of student leaders like that in West The Cord, Student autonomy, are so responsible ty a group to see snow Registrar, to host Wilfs and the Turret. mature. Our students do all the "We were proud them. from WLU on an annual trip to his Virginia." Publications, have been us for the attended that their administrators do They hosting alma mater, West Virginia The group consisted of nineteen The group "Synergy", things few said WLU's annual Show at WVU." said Dean Nichols. past years." Lynn. University. people including 13 students and six Fashion on "The in West The group called the Dean to let afternoon and then had a drinking age After inviting the students who faculty members. Most of the group Saturday home Wilf's is were amazed him know that they got safely. them to in the Inn Weber. full course dinner at on Virginia 21, so they hosted for seven years stayed Comfort on the Students' Union not had bars "I can't thank made the On Dean Nichols (complete with that our students only WLU, a group of 19 finally Thursday night, Saturday evening, but the bars for how well enter- strawberries with WVU in on actually ran enough they trip to WLU this past weekend to entertained the group in his home engraved campus the said Nichols, and then too." Nichols chuckled. "It was a real tained group," the and then the was moved to them the Dean noted,) compare differences between party par- to for them." "What a treat for me have the American and Canadian universi- Lucinda House where University tied the Turret on Saturday night. eye-opener universities twinned "I think that they had a two up. They ties. President Dr. Lorna Marsden was "The students were so great back." said who enter- definitely want to come for various stu- that the fashion show time," Joel Lynn luckily the group beat the bad hosting a social night impressed students, tained the students for most of the weather to arrive Thursday, just dent leaders from WLU. was done completely by

Newsbites

if The debate con- "I wouldn't have ventured out I New OMB Squabbling at "it's the mission [of the University] used book market. didn'thave said. that bothers the hell out ofme." tinues in the House ofCommons. to," Casey volunteer LORI DYSIEVICK the Senate 21 Senate members voted in About 300 Laurier did make it to the AC, Cord Newsbite favour of the public forum to discuss tour guides for the to show WLUSU has announced its appoint- the direction of the University, 11 Freezing hoping opportunity ments for the meeting and 5 members offtheir school. Operations were opposed, On March 27, Board for the 1997-98 MELANIE SEAL abstained from the vote. Rain does not Thursday, Management students will be academic The OMB is the Cord Newsbite prospective given year. Used Books another chance to tour Laurier. senior executive board for the At the University's Senate meeting deter Laurier The Casey hopes that volunteer tour Students' Union. positions are on March 10, members voted in in decided "the Senate guides "will find it the goodness of through a hiring process favour of a motion that Issue applicants their hearts" and out conducted the elected members Search to come help by request the Presidential of the WLUSU for the acade- forum MELANIE SEAL again. coming committee provide a public in Continues mic There is dis- Cord Newsbite Although university applications year. a unique portfolio which the entire community can for each DYSIEVICK Despite freezing rain and winter from high school students dropped position. cuss the direction of the University LORI around 300 2.5 to Laurier The Operations Management in relation to the selection of the Cord Newsbites storm warnings, percent, applications

the second Board are as follows; VP: Bill to Amend the students and rose 7.5 percent, highest University University President." Dr. Peter C-32, An Act prospective parents increase of this The Finance, Gareth Cunningham, VP: Eglin, who seconded the motion, Copyright Act , returned to the arrived at Laurier's Athletic Centre applicants year. McCallum, for what number of students who selected Student Activities, Julie started the debate by introducing House of Commons for further on Friday, March 14 was Student Services, Renee and continues to be Laurier Laurier as their first choice rose VP: concerns he had about the universi- debate last Thursday scheduled Day. Pelletier, Michael student Jennifer of liai- 13.3 percent, the highest increase in VP: Marketing, ty's financial involvement in various to cause an uproar amongst Casey, manager Keriakos. services for Laurier said that the province. corporate committees, and the leaders. The Bill was originally pro- son the direction ofthe University. posed by the Minister of Heritage although only 20% of expected

the in she "thrilled" Betty Sims, chair of the and concerns copyrighting number attended, was

Residential Search Committee stat- libraries and archives. However, an that people had challenged

introduced in inclement conditions from ed that the committee had already amendment was weather

with the that would as far as and Ottawa. been very open Laurier December impose a away Kingston of ommunity. restriction on the importation

to to be in Canadian When Eglin continued ques- used books sold

tion the University's involvement in university bookstores.

externa] committees, David Lertnard The Association of Canadian

head in Publishers stated that the is said, "you can't shove your problem

used deal- the sand - those corporations are that, "foreign-located text

effect force-feed the Canadian paying your salary." ers in with used textbooks Dr. Jenna Mather, another mem- marketplace

have been first sold Mii ber of the Presidential Search that not AIRFARES may

Committee said, "we have sent out here as new. That's different from

constant letters, clippings in the recycling texts that the Canadian

first its review 1 have to see a publisher supplied to own Incredible student fares process. yet in letter... And this fascinates me." market."

the National Mather expressed her concern that However, Director across Canada of Student if the Committee's progress was of the Canadian Alliance

be another and Matthew delayed, it may year Associations, Hough, are available one or to select claims "American ￿)- Flights return half before they are ready a that, publishers way would in fact be the benefi- new president. greatest this because + Valid for to Eglin stated that he had recently ciaries from motion, up one year To and bom class... students will be forced to finished a twenty-one page report. buy new »fl c/fISS that he to the Senate texts - texts that are published few He said came by >> Very restrictions American with his concerns, "because the companies."

Senate advises the Board of The that has only group ￿)- To-date, more than 250,000 full-time students have the Governors about what our opinion expressed support for students thus far is the Reform Party. On travelled these Travel is." domestically using unique CUTS faresl^^Eßj^t- March the "I can't wait to dust my cap to Monday, 17th, govern-

their intent was the Royal Bank... and feel so grateful ment explained that the for the things they've done for this not to restrict availability of used university," Eglin said sarcastically, textbooks, but only to regulate the iltravelcuts

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'Offer applies to select models excluding Dodge Viper and Plymouth Prowler. Rebate includes GST. Limited time offer applies to 1997, 1996 and 1995 university or college graduates. See dealer for conditions and details. ~e~~------The view from here Dr. Marsden reflects on her years at Laurier, and what the future may hold

MELANIE SEAL Campaign Laurier. It's been a great just been tremendous people. I love eming and even the social events people judge you or talk about the CORD NEWS experience and I think it's really teaching. The first year I taught. The that go around on campus. Why do amount of money you make? After leading Laurier as its presi­ helped the university. second year I taught again. think that you wanted to be involved Marsden: Well, I'm sort of ambiva­ dent for the past five years, Dr. Cord: Is there anything you wish you Cord: Why did you give it up? in Laurier so much? lent about it. Of course I would pre­ Lorna Marsden finishes her term at or the university had done different­ Marsden: Well, because of the Marsden: Oh well, why wouldn't fer that it didn't happen, on the the end ofJuly The Cord asked her ly? Campaign. Because of the campaign you? I mean it's great, I love the other hand, I've always been a great w give her thoughts on Laurier. the Marsden: It's a long list. There are you can't set your schedule. You things that go on around campus. I fighter for women's pay equity and past, and the universitys future. lots of things I wish I had done dif­ have to go to the donors, and so wish I could be at more of them. I it just tickles me that the highest ferently, I mean you learn, you were I staying another five years I'd love going to the concerts and the paid president is a woman. I think Cord: It's 1992. Why did you choose know, you bum bridges all over the be back in the classroom because I faculty of music is wonderful, and that's just wonderful. I hope that Laurier and what drew you to place Oaughs). Well. I don't know it's really, really enjoyed that a lot. even though I don't know much every other woman notices, every Laurier initially? Why the move hard to say, at the time you make Cord: Would you like to do that at about them I love the athletic events. other woman who wants to be in from Politics? decisions about various things ... York? I like the alumni, the political issues, university administration. It always Marsden: For over a year I sat in Cord: I guess hindsight is 20-20. Marsden: I don't think that's practi­ I think it's all great. I love being a distressed me at U of T when I dis­ parliament very concerned about Marsden: Hindsight is a big advan­ cal at a place like York. But. Laurier part of it. It's really fi.m. covered my pay was so much lower universities ... The university just tage, but it's much too late to do students are so demanding, I really Cord: Do you think you'll be as than men with the same qualifica­ didn't surface on the agenda of pub­ anything. There are all kinds of enjoy them. They're much harder active at York? tions. lic political attention... I just came to students to work with in a sense that Marsden: It's totally different, when Cord: What will you remember most the interview, I wasn't particularly they're really very bright, very you've got all those people, they about Laurier? going to come. I didn't know about demanding. They're fi.m. won't even notice me. Here, it's been Marsden: Oh, the spirit of the place, Laurier at all. But when I did the Cord: Where would you like to see very nice in that many students unquestionably. It's a unique spirit. I background reading, I just couldn't Laurier go in the next millennium or knew who the president was, can't imagine another university on believe what a gem it is - and it is - I decade? whereas at York they won't know earth like this. It's really wonderful mean I couldn't believe my eyes ... Marsden: I'd like to see Laurier the who I am... York will be really differ­ It's really worth doing a lot to keep. excellent students, very strong facul­ number one small primarily under­ ent, because it's situated where it is And I think it just shows up in every­ ty, no deficit, do debt, a very bal­ graduate university in this country. in Metro. It will be very different but thing that goes on around here.. .lt's anced budget It is just an amazing And I think it will be. Because that I'm looking forward to that too. wonderful. Laurier is a way of life ... place, and people don't know about will increase the value of your Cord: Does it bother you that many It's more than just a university. it and what they wanted done was degree and everybody else's. I'd like somebody to raise the profile of the to see it not become huge, not university, etc., and I was delighted become a large university, but main­ when they selected me. tain the sense of community that is ~ord : What were the major goals so extremely rich and valuable. I'd tnat you set up for Laurier when you like it to be more outward for peo­ arrived at the University? ple, looking at what it is that they do Marsden: I wanted to raise the pro­ so well in other countries and other me. maintain and strengthen the universities, more international, academic side of the university, raise more externally oriented. I think money, and in effect really work in that would be a tremendous advan­ abe University Advancement area - tage to the students, and the faculty. the alumni side of things, the stu­ Cord: Do you have any concerns for dent selection side of things, the Laurier, especially when faced with ftmdraising side of things - do what budget cuts and fee deregulation? in fact, we've done ... So that was one Marsden: One has to have. These large set of goals. are difficult years, and fortunately Cord: It's been said that Laurier is a the Laurier budget is in good shape of an old boys club. Do you think comparatively speaking... that's why the fact that you are a woman things that I would have done differ­ keeping strong links with the com­ aflected people's expectations of you ently, there's no, sort of. one big mis­ munity and the alumni is so impor­ md reactions to you before you take, that I can think of, but there tant because you need to under­ came? are many things I would have done stand the special goal and mission of Marsden: Oh, I'm sure. I'm not sure differently. I would have approached Laurier. You have to actively under­ that Laurier was such an old boy's problems in quite a different way, stand it, and persuade others of how club ... most universities are. But. we under other circwnstances, but by important it is. It's in constant threat all earry our gender with us. And so and large I don't think we've had of so-called rationalization. I think ct: rtainly it did. And, people have any major mess-ups ... There's such one of the great things we've accom­ Ot'Pn extremely.. I've never been, a good spirit at Laurier you know, plished over the past five years is to \Ott know... people don't directly that you overcome a lot of difficul­ increase the number of matters that rabe this question, they really don't, ties, and of course we've had the we deal with the university of awl it's been a pleasure working genius of Andrew Berczi, I mean he Waterloo and Guelph, thereby ith people here, it really hasn't is a brilliant problem solver, and I'm reducing everybody's cost. The been a big problem. But I'm sure really gratefuL to have the vice-pres­ library project is the big one. But people have different expectations of idents, all of them for what they've there being many, many others we men and women. done. They've really done a lot. And have to keep that up in order to pre­ Cord: Looking back, what do you many others too, I mean the Deans, serve Laurier's autonomy. It's very lecl is your major accomplishment and all the staff and faculty but cer­ important. over the past five years? Is there any tainly Andy Berczi, Don Baker, Cord: Why York? What about York lVPnt which stands out in your Rowland Smith, and Arthur Stephen appeals to you? mind? have gotten me out of a lot of trou­ Marsden: York is totally different, Marsden: Many events stand out in ble. completely and utterly different. I my mind. It's probably too soon to Cord: What do you remember most had no reason to go to a university (RUIH BY OUR WU~IH TO WIN A'91 NIOH. say, you know, it's easier when you vividly when you recall the student that was in any way similar. It is look back, I mean I'm still discussing governments over the past five very used to making change, it is a with the Chair of the Board the years? very nimble university. It is not The Bait: A brand new Neon Even if you don't win, you'll still twelve projects I have to finish Marsden: Well I keep saying to all bureaucratically ridden, it's a lot of from Chrysler (approximate qualify for a $750 Graduate before I go ... The Operating agree­ the Students' Union Presidents I'd innovation ... I think that's very ment, not that I did it, Dr. Berbi [VP: like to have, you know the kodak attractive. But, the only thing that it retail value $19,600). The catch: Rebate on any Chrysler0 ~

Finance/Administration] did that, baby picture. Going from Nick has in common with Laurier is that There is none. Just fill out a ballot ~all other deals. So snap to it. the code of conduct, the really good Jimenez to Stewart Wong, a Kodak it's undervalued just as Laurier was. by May 19, 1997 (contest closing Visit www.cbry.Jlergrad.com, or relationships that we have with both photograph because each one of The students and faculty here are the graduate and the undergradu­ them has been so different. Each of much, much better than the world date) and before you know it you

8 March 19. 1997 theCord Come on up to the Student Union and apply!

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Teaching in Korea

PAGE SHELDON PHOTO:

times that I leave the class SHELDON PAGE four years he is just beginning to English or teaching English as a sec- ing my present university position, feeing

Special To understand the culture. ond language) universities should be therefore, most of the information I that I have learned as much from

this will be related students have from me. Cord International one of the first places one looks. pass on in article my as they

to If like and (Chonju, ROK) Teaching English Requirements of Presently, there are many new hagwon teaching. you are myself are

in be both and with old offered fond of in that Korea can rewarding Finding Work opportunities for employment My hagwon primarily writing your resume

So far There of Education classes flexible and to frustrating. I have experi- are generally four types of the Korean Ministry as in elementary schools. These you are willing adapt enced the above mentioned classes held and in both of organizations for whom one can be well. Try giving the Korean are before after to challenging situations, teaching

will make boast- situations. Readers must keep in employed as an English teacher. Consulate in Toronto a call about regular classes. Korea you put your

that to the schedules mind this article represents Work can be found with the large the EPIK program for more infor- ing test. Teaching

at moments what I have learned and experi- corporate groups like Hyundai, mation. What You Should Expect can change a notice.

enced in five months living and Samsung and Daewoo. Hours can The easiest place to find work is When Teaching Classes appear and disappear. You

in Korea. In do 1 be but the and benefits at of the thousands of first of have five minutes notice teaching no way long, pay are one private My day teaching began might off differ- claim to have experienced all the reportedly well worth one's time. language institutes or "hagwons" with being left on my own in a class- before being shipped to a

and lows that also excellent that all If with ent for five to six hours of class- highs are associated Universities are places are in Korean cities. you room filled screaming grade city

with in Korea do I The hours have and students. in This is bad teaching nor to seek employment. are a university degree a pulse one Being on your own es. not necessarily a

claim to understand the Korean cul- low and the and condi- have chance at elemen- but to pay living you a good finding a a classroom, especially an thing, just something prepare

An of mine tions For with with I school makes ture. acquaintance once are excellent. people job a hagwon. worked at a tary classroom, con- yourself for. told after me that living in Korea for Master's degrees (preferably in hagwon or five months before land- trolling the students next to impossi- Depending on where you work,

ble. The the students find younger are, you might yourself preparing

to the harder they are control. and creating all your lesson plans

Korean teachers strike their chil- and materials. Many hagwons sup-

as a of Living and travelling in Korea dren method control. The ply their teachers with all necessary children are very aware of the fact materials and information. Many do

that do not have not. foreign teachers If you have some favorite teach-

and was a of of about 500,000 become this andact living travelling in Korea certainly change population I very desperate power accordingly. ing aides, bring them with you. It is

from life in Waterloo. The is a at times for dill said cheddar cheese. If have pace following quick pickles you Teaching in the elementary more likely than not that you will

introduction to and if blessed favorite for them with living in Korea you are spices cooking, bring you. schools is especially challenging need them. with in Korea. Korean cuisine is Rice some spare time, travelling very interesting. is a staple as because the children are in very

is kimchi« familiar HOUSING a pickled cabbage liberalfy doused in hot surroundings. With no How to find the best

Most teaching contracts will stipulate that the pepper paste. Red pepper paste and garlic are found in assistance from a Korean teacher, it teaching contacts

will Unless have a almost dish. Most Korean food is also hot If be employer provide housing. you place every very can very difficult to teach. I have Before I left WLU, Career Services that If love seafood and live the in for to stay, only sign a contract gives you housing. you near coast you are a taught some classes in cooperation had several ongoing postings by

the contract states that will furnished treat We eat out most of the time Korean food is with a Korean and the you receive a as English teacher overseas teaching recruiters in discover that idea of affordable while Western food the room or apartment you might your very style is just have found this to be incredibly jobs binder. The large national

furnished differ from We found that after first month The children (or habitable) might your employ- opposite. our in Korea valuable. understand newspapers also have many recruit-

er's I know teachers that live perspective. in palaces our palates adjusted quite rapidly to Korean cuisine. what I am saying (via translation) ment classified ads. You can also

while others live in hovels! It all on TRAVEL and well depends your are very behaved. I left check out these two World Wide

Korea is wonderful. of - employer. Travelling in Every means those classes feeling that the chil- Web sites: The Korea Help Pages affordable Housing in Korea (for teachers anyway) comes in is very and readily available. dren actually learned something. http://soback.kornet.nm.kr/%7Ewha

form of Or traditional houses. A bus costs about60 a 3.5 hour bus The with the apartments city cents, express problem some English rms/rok-help.html and the list of

Apartments are all relatively modern and you can ride to Seoul costs about $11. Subways in Seoul and hagwons seems to be that they only WWW Servers in Korea - bathroom and floor Pusan have of that the students expect a Western style plan. plenty English although they are very care are happy - http://www.dongguk.ac.kr. There

another matter aD Be to crowded rush hours. Tkdsare A 20 not that Houses are together. prepared during very cheap. they are learning English. It are hundreds of sites dedicated to

the floor comfortable mat minute ride across town costs over $5. Buses to can be sleep on on a very sleeping rarely very frustrating to realize teaching abroad on the web. Try

heat comes from hot water circulating under the other cities usually run five minutes. • that are Since every you nothing more than a using "teaching korea" as a search such small there is lot There well floor, sleeping on the floor during winter is quite enjoy- Far a countiy a to see. paid babysitter. I emphasize string for hundreds ofhits.

be inside or outside the house hundreds of Buddhist temples and shrines. The that this is the with able. Washrooms can are not case all hag- wand while the and is with a shower mountains, not being in same as the wons. showering accomplished league Many hagwons genuinely Tips for success if you go Rockies make for their size their sheer attached to the sink. Do not expect a tub. You might up by numbers. care about what the children are It is not difficult to find a position toilet the Korean There mountains have a Western or version that are everywhere. Most of the major learning. style as an English teacher in Korea.

It looks a mountains as we have dubbed a "squatter". like are designated parks and have wonderful 1 have found to lovingly that children's However, it can be very difficult back. Its how it is at times trails. A Korean urinal its name explains (and very dangerous) hiking classes that are held at laying on a hagwon find a good position and to actually trail used to squatters, some do not park that does not threaten life at least once is are far better used. Some people get your controlled. To truly get to Korea. In this article I will of called and 1 quickly adapted to our not worthy being a trail. There are numerous test My girlfriend very; your teaching skills and explain how I came to Korea and

trouble for hit- scenic coastal islands and beaches as well as Korean house. We have had little except a few classes in the ele- con- many patience, try what to look for in a teaching national barrier now and then. Wis once monumentsand historical sites. ting the language every mentary schools. tract. for While and in without two without propane our range as we living travelling Korea is not One of the most teach- went days enjoyable In the summer of 1996, my girl-

how order more. challenges, after living here for five months I am look* could not figure out to ing experiences that I have had is friend and I discussed the possibility forward to the nexttwelve. adults. FOOD ing teaching These are in of We had heard people teaching overseas. available on If have the desire to class Western are depending you experience a new challeng- you to learn - not be the Many groceries to from various sources that in. In Seoul and Pusan ing culture, and see some incredible then Korea how a are living sights, babysat. I look forward to and we large city you always money was good in Korea about In city that has a mis»tjust be for you. « SheldonPage adult classes. There you can get just anything. my my are many Continued...

10 March 19, 1997 theCord -(International)

10 From page

wanted to travel. Using the World Wide Web I found many offers of the classi- employment for native English speakers. I also saw many ads in

fied sections of the Canadian newspapers. World larger The in Inchon, Korea. I stated I sent an e-mail inquiry to a recruiting agency

for in We sent that we would be ready employment mid-September. by

letters the Korean courier ($40) resumes, cover and certified copies (by

of Do not send inReview consulate in Toronto) our degrees and transcripts. original

be to documents. Once lost, your degree can very expensive replace. KATHERINE HARDING Its two prime investors being Bill seriously damaged by bitter

Cord International Gates of Microsoft and bureaucratic turf wars and a Leaving at a moments notice Craig go-

of call from the Civil Unrest Continues McCaw, of McCaw slow attitude some senior During the last week August, we received a phone formerly among

for both of could leave in Albania Cellular Communications. federal officials. recruiter. They had positions us as long as we by the

made Durres-Chaos in the The idea behind Teledesic is Bill Hobson, first head of the end of the month. In a blind panic we packed up our belongings, reigned

etc. We to our streets and of Albania Most of the world isn't war crimes arrangements to cancel my car insurance, moved parents' ports yester- simple. justice department's

tens thousands wired for the data unit he branded homes to await our travel arrangements. We waited almost two months day as of of people fast, heavy traf- says was unfairly

to vio- fic. But satellites mes- a "zealot" because he wanted to before actually arriving in Korea. attempted escape escalating by using

e-mail lence that has across that can bounce into more Nazi cases to trial. A series of delays, contract changes and misleading messages swept sages simply up push and then back down "This is the led to spending several hundred dollars on faxes and couriers. At more country. space to single most important

month wait We Police in Durres used batons receivers. moral and human issue for than one point during our two we were ready to give up. rights

when told the and fired crowds onto At this it's unclear and I were taken by surprise one Friday night we were to be at on jamming point, any country never expected

the and whether the will the attitudes that I was confronted airport the next morning. Be prepared to experience "hurry up boats sailing to Italy. Desperate technology even towards work. But if it does, Gates and with," said Hobson, who headed wait" syndrome when waiting to come to Korea. refugees charged of hunters American and German helicopters McCaw will own a piece of the the federal team Nazi

from The that were ferrying foreign nation- future. 1987to 1990. Top Ten Things als to safety. But soldiers beat Recently, Canada's problem of Albanians with rifle butts to drive Nazi Hunt Slowly Continues "harbouring" Nazis was brought to You Should Know them off the aircraft. in Canada light when an American news The exodus reached a grue- Ottawa-Canada's hunt for suspect- show exposed several Nazi crimi-

Nazi some climax last Sunday as ed war criminals has been nals still residing in Canada. and Expect Before Albanians scaled the sides of boats and braved hazardous waters in

the For Korea an attempt to escape country Leaving torn by anarchy, political violence

and economic disaster.

This after to Teach was a day its govern-

ment ordered police stations to

wait its 1. Don't be ill a hurry to leave, Be prepared to two months or more pass out arms among citizenry

to shore weak- from the time your contact in Korea tells you they have a position up a police force

available. ened by civil unrest.

Net 2. Be prepared Cor a "hurry up and wait" experience. We were ready to Speeding Up the

fly on several occasions only to have flight plans cancelled. Kirkland, Wash.-Beginning in

2000, rockets all over the world

3. that It in will car-sized satel- Try to find a contact has e-mail access. will save a fortune begin carrying long distance fees. lites about 700 kilometers above of the Earth. Over two years, 840

4. Watch out for clauses in contracts referring to pay deductions to be them will be gently dropped into

out form given back at the end of a contract and pay deductions ifyour number place, fanning to a con-

of students drops. stellation that covers the globe.

This $12 billion venture that is

to to faster 5. 1,000,000 won/month is the low end of the scale in regards pay. intended bring Internet Restoring order: An Albanian pro-government supporter Hold out for 1.2 million or. more. service to the entire globe has been questions driver at a checkpoint financed by Teledesic Corporation.

aMA at universities 6. ffyou have degree, look the or large corporations, the hagwons (private language institutes alone).

7. Read much about in Korea as There are HIKERS as HAVEN teaching possible, many jfcjS. WWW d sites on the with great deal of information on teaching here.

FO WE R • to w/kwJk j9Z IOTHING # equipment Some sites offer black lists that are very good read. J^ _„

Come in and who have Almost talk to on with the 8. Talk to people taught in Korea. everyone 1 play experts Korea who from home knows someone who Is either teaching in or

here. them for much information as once taught Pump as possible. Get

low 9. Don't expect to dump your paying hagworijob for a better one as

at soon as you land Kimpo Airport. Changing employers needs the

of - no - and involves a lot consent your original employer exceptions ofred tape. Piece.

the first that hands will be 10. Don't sign contract you get your on. Most for around unless open negotiation. Shop your are really desperate to

get wit ofthe country. ￿ Sheldon Page

••X;";XX: '. : :X;X 'S:''-::;':.' : 'x -x'::.'' : : : :; :: :; ::: : ::: : ::; ; : : : ::X ; .Xx: : ' /:x:x :::': : x •: x : ;x ::x |:jx' ox-x': 'x;xx 'x fx'Sxx x x :jx .jx; x x x x x x x x x x ,-xv

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PAGE Westmount Place, Waterloo 519 • 885 • 1644 SHELDON Locations: \ {' Climbing BY , * Oakville • Sleeping Bags * ondon • Tents

* Waterloo • Packs CONTRIBUTED * Markham • '97) • Canoes Kayaks (spring (spring'97) y Maps & Books J J PHOTO

theCord March 1997 19, 11 OPINION

Editorial

Snowshovels vs. urbanization

southern Ontario, the so-called Golden Horseshoe of Canada. fh re's to be said for living in balmy WEEKLYCordthe e someting cold there million the extremely and are a universities all There's a city every fifty feet, temperature rarely gets

of home. within an hour's drive Northern Ontario, dammit, and after almost two of liv- I'm not from Southern Ontario, however. I'm from years revelations, not the least ofwhich I've come some spectacular being that ing in Waterloo's subtropical climate upon "The tie that binds since 1926" another as snow is from sun. the north and south are as different from one

distinctions. For one, the bottom half Besides the obvious difference ofclimate, there are other, more disturbing

ten feet in front of - its almost industrialized that on a bad can t see yourself a of the province is so heavily day you state that clean New York air. reliefto drive south and get some of comparatively

- how show at some from the U.S. are they the People from Canada always talk abouthow ignorant people up Street. at that, but border in the middle of June with skis, or look for moose on Yonge People laugh unfortunately

A WilfridLauritr Student Publication to but from the University here and it's not out of the ordinary. I d like believe differendy, many south the same thing occurs

know nothing about the northern half oftheir province. 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5

cabin?" - "Do have there?" "Do live in a log these are "Do have TV up there?" you guys hydro up you (519) 884-1970 ext. 3564 you guys of wisdom I've received during my stay here. Of course, there s the grand- Fax: (519) 884-7723 only some of the profound glimpses that told I lived in and believed me. It's upsetting some people liv- Advertising: (519) 884-1970 ext. 3566 daddy of them all; I once someone an they North York, attitude about life that if not from Mississauga or some ing here have such an ignorant, elitist you're

classified an outsider from the boonies. "I'm really, really broke. other God-forsaken level ofsuburbia thenyou're automatically as almost don't think understand. is stretch of the imagination. The idea is laughable. No, I you I'm not saying that Northern Ontario perfect, by any

the trees in and for six months out of the year the weather I owe Library money." One does, of course, get sick of seeing all four directions, the late at night in most Northern communities -Colleen Nicholson absolutely sucks. On the other hand, when you walk through park (unless the most have to about is attacked a squirrel. That's a comforting thought you really lamenting her financial woes you worry being by

hate squirrels).

does on the Both of the have their own and weak points, as every spot globe. Southern Editorial Board areas province strong but the other hand it's but urban from one Ontario is far better in terms of a stable job market, on nothing sprawl Editor-in-Chief Melanie Seal of one's but on the other hand end to the next. Living in Northern Ontario is far better in terms keeping sanity, you News Editor Tom Hrubes snowmobilers. have to about being run over by rogue Associate News Editor Lori Dysievick worry

I it all comes down to what you like. Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter guess

Assistant Entertainment Editor Robin Whittaker Editorial by Jim Donnelly, Assistant Sports Editor those the Cord the Sports Editor Greg Chownyk The opinions expressed in this editorial are thoseof the author, and do not necessarily reflect of Staff, editorial board Laurier StudentPublications. Assistant Sports Editor Jim Donnelly or Wilfrid University

Features Editor Ann-Marie Smith

Life Editor Ann Huskinson

Production Manager Mike Vencel

Cord Staff

Production Assistants Sarah Hollands LETTERS Colleen Nicholson

Mike Caesar Tina Tarn toEditorthe Classified Coordinator Patricia Lancia

Copy Editors Megan Atkinson

Mar Lee Indie bands at Wilf's have taken coat mis- This the first of Ellen one may my by being many

International Cooidinator Katherine Harding Dear Editor, take. I donot know what happened; exchange visits, we greatly appreci-

On Friday March 14, Wilfs had two all I know is that I want my coat ated the hospitality of Fred L. Student Publications Staff acts. President Joel amazing up and coming back. It is a black "bikerjacket", 3/4 Nichols (Deano), Lynn

Photo Marion Hensel and belt. the members Manager Danielle French and the Jessica length with silver zippers a and various other we

Photo Technicans Steve Williams the fact that coat met. Scoenberg Band. Both were power- It is not only my

Joanne coat educational Spadafora house singer's, had travelleved from was stolen. If you want a that Along with our expe-

Art Director Kerr CD then it. It is the fabu- Jeremy Alberta.had well produced sand badly, keep the fact that rience, we truly enjoyed

Systems Administrator John best '97 Maljkovich tried their at getting a crowd all of my 1.D., my keys and other lous perfermance of Synergy

- Line On Editor Andrew White Wilfs works hard at also taken. These and the response. get- things were things TUrret. (You guys showed us Norris Advertising Manager Robert not to to ting you top notch entertainment do have value anyone except how party Canadian style!)

Ad Sales Representives Nolin LeChasseur and don't think have for I I seen any- me. During our visit, we were also wined Rebecca Shropshire thing more frustrating than the less Everyone is trying to cheer me and dined in the fine establishment Chartrand Ad Production Manager Dannielle of than welcome attitude a lot you up by saying "It could be worse, they of Wilfs. Everyone couldn't stop Ad Production Assistant Barnard Megan the Jessica has could have taken I know the fine cuisine give performers. a you!" that commenting on pre- Sandra Cunha Amanda Marshall it in staff. We very sounding could be worse, but put yourself pared by your particularly

Gregory English voice and while I cold I.D. WV stage presence my position. am and -less. appreciated our carved straw- Andrew Warrack Danielle is Kate Bush-Tori In a whoever took coat HAS berries. of this will be very way, my For many us, Atheletic Pete Robinson Advertising Manager Amos like. But both they were still taken a part of me. They have taken an experience we won't forget, and

So that had Administration unique. what's the deal with the trust I in honesty of we owe it all to the fine people at

to the Tiirrett at felt going on Friday night, people Laurier. I always as WLU. We look forward to your President Laurie Legault to that have I could leave in and to listening songs you though my stuff a future visits to Morgantown VP of Finance Kevin MacDonald heard million times over? As classroom while I a a went to the bath- our visits returning to Waterloo. VP of Operations David Janzen professional musician myself, we go room or to do something else during Sincerely, Public Relation Manager Michelle Love much the indus- through so crap in a break. Now I will think twice. I Rachel Bott, Gty Editor of student Board of Directors Shayne Lidkea that it's we in it. that it is try amazing stay hope just a mix-up and that newspaper Daily Anthenaeum Beth Costelec Jen Clarke You did in definitely not help Friday someone will be honest and return Damon Carter, Student Christine Gergich Ryan Lock these it. But, if whoever it supporting performers you are did on Administration vice president Domenico Magisano careers. I purpose, hope that someday you Shannon Ross, Student heard of Perhaps you never will get something that is Administration Elections Chair staff important The Cord will not print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, as deemedby the as a voting these but to be to body. The Cord will not print anything in violationof its Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cord groups did they have you stolen. Kevan Frazier, Graduate Student rates $20.00 for addresses within Canada. The Cord is printed by CanWeb Printing. All subscription are per term for a recognized name to stay or No questions will be asked. If Chair does of staff, editorial you you Congress commentary is strictly the opinion of the writer and not necessarily reflect that the Cord the what? So and or VVLU Publications. buy listen to can call board, go your like you me at home at 725- Stephanie Garland, Student record 3450 generic big dog company or you can drop it off to the Administratio Treasurer Staff: "Production" Paul McLean, Suzanne Huntjens, Dave Scott, Lynn Pauli, crap that's shoved down our throats in the secretary Students' Union Locke Wysong, Mountainlair Erin Keating, Mike McKenna, Eric Henry. everyday. Independence is a strong office. Please restore trust in the Council i my Advisory Representative,

Conor the cac- willed approach and I'm sure some at Contributors Sheldon Page, "Early Grace, McCreery, "Lucy" students Laurier. Student Administrative representa- Brandon Watson, David Rachel Bexan,not enough sugar by- of will tus, Duchovny, you support us. To those of Jennifer Allchin tive The elusive Sarah's junk food from products, Stephen, Dairy Queen, who and Craig you stayed had a great Cold in Waterloo. Jessica Board of Governors HMCS Spicer, the French Club reception, Tony Weis, Sackville, Carolyn Bonius, time Rock! Hawker, Friday...May you member music pumped in from Wilfs St. Pat's day party, Erin Dave Tapley, shark Darren Lan Graham WVU writes the Sam Verteniuk, Lauralea Fox,• Jeremy Kerr's funky graphic, Michael Ellington, director of Barbara Rice, Aaron Betik, Kathy Hagen and her Winfield, Angela Orticello, To Our Hosts at Wilfrid Laurier Mountainlair However, drinking son Jim. The Cord encourages responsible drinking. Turret Thief Univeristy: Bea Cox, Mountainlair recep- it's food All Betty beer is not in any quantity. Kids, just colouring. green responsible, Dear On Editor, behalf of the West tionist tastes the same and the stains on the Virginia mat means is that the beer carpet I just wanted to tell that such an attractive colour when everyone University staff and students who Mountainlair around the toilet won't come out. Green isn't Bob McWhorder, tall leather shirt wreaks of Irish bile. Yecch. The Cord long coat was taken from the visited of your favourite encourages my your campus last week, we founder and former director flavoured) malt There's no need to of coloured (and whiskey. Ttirret on March 15,1997. would glasses naturally Saturday like to extend a warm thank Mountainlair and student activities need to drink tainted liquor. Just suck the don bizarre clothing. There's no realize that 1 it have been a Our visit week- may you. was a tremendous Katie McKeen, Mountainlair - Robbie Burns stuff back, and enioy. You think you're tough try a slippery ; coat check and mix-up at that some- learning each those know how to experience for of us. birtnday celebration. Now Scots, they party. end manager

12 March 19,1997 theCond (Opinion)

LETTERS toEditorthe

and that there Andrew Costabile, graphic artist for of the many students and staff who responsibility of it feels enormous. ly any time at all, some- hopelessness. I believe may

than must with similar for Mountainlair marketing practice environmental friendliness But more my pride, honour, thing be terribly wrong have been a experience

solace and the world... with most most Parween Sultany, member of on campus and offi Congratulations! presence, I felt over- my own communi- people present. But of all

a chance humbled of the that felt of Mountainlair Advisory Council If you didn't get to whelmingly by Mrs. ty. Yet in spite energy I I humbled by the strength

This had could feel at humanness, faith Joe and Ann Hutchison, professor of parouse the enviro-week facilities French's humanity. woman looking Kristen's mere spirit, courage,

most human I not and of French recreations and wife and have any questions or com- endured the painful photograph, was prepared for commitment the fam-

the the I shar- finds thosebless- PamHagedorn, of studentactivities ments about your WLU environ- experience imaginable; aware- experience was granted ily. How somebody

that her the with this amidst the horror of such ment, please contact Sonja Regier, ness daughter not only had ing same space per- ings an

on murdered, but that does son's mother. French afforded Insight environmental awareness coordina- been spirit Mrs. experience is beyond my compre-

and the environmental not allow such to be all the of her about 'Advertising™ tor, aware- indignation us gift sharing daugh- hension, as are many things ZJ of the and her death. And Dear Editor, ness committee (3rd floor truly experienced, and that in some ter's life, the human condition.

- found the This with the I would like to thank Mary Kate Fred Nichols Campus Centre SUB) corner of her being, Kristen a through medium of a video letter is written

to of that that all, in Sullivan for her insightful article on Finally, a big thank you all shelter peace. screen, every person in room hope we can our own

and Kristen's could but feel honoured to find moment the advertising industry. In the arti- whose efforts, contributions Having grown up in not help way, a in our busy schedules be cle she raises two importnat points commitment to environmental community, I remember where I now know Kristen's memory a little today to pause, pre-

that like to much the moment I first her sent, and be of ourselves, I would expand upon: friendliness were very appre- was saw pic- more personally. aware;

with the label I feel sad, however, that such an our and advertising in schools; and her ciated! Sarah Marlow, Scott Jorgens, ture in the local paper, our actions, communities,

need to do "credit card conspiracy" theory. Carmen Schultz, Diana Shepard, "missing person" above her face. I evening is necessary. our something, anything,

left to the scales the favour of The issue of advertising in Sarah Crelin, Don Snow, Meaghan remember the grief I felt, sensing When I Mrs. French's pre- tip in felt and schools is one of ethics versus Brown, Brenda Clays, Sian somehow that she would never sentation, I such an overwhelm- peace goodness.

realize that Forrest return home. sick at mixture of emotions: money. Though I selling Bowness, Holly Thompson, again Feeling ing sadness, Anonymous

the realization that 15 is bare- and space to advertising provides some Walker, Nathan Hanes, George years rage, confusion, respect, hope

to Adam Sean and much needed money the Raptis, Hossack,

Steve Students' Union it is a pity to see in the Marketing Dept. that commercialization has creeped Sponsors: Purple and Gold Store, TEAM UIICICB, WLU World Wildlife its way into an educational institu- Bookstore,

tion. We as students are here to FUnd, Greenpeace, Grand River

be sold As if Conservation WLU learn, not to to. we are Area, Bicycle SPIRIT CUP CHAMPIONS to Plant not subjected it in almost every Users Group (bug), Physical

other aspect of our lives. It might be and Planning.

all for Would Like To Thank interesting to point out the two seem Thank-you to your contin-

to almost contradict each other. ued support! Check out next week's

Here at university there is an Cord for the results of how much

and off and emphasis placed on critical thinking you recycle on campus while advertising discourages inde- "what you want to see happen on pizza pendent thinking; it seeks to pacify campus" - environmentally speak-

our minds by stressing conformity to ing ofcourse!

false standards set by them. An Sonja Regier

example of its power can be seen in 'pizza Fashion Show the number of adolescent girls who

are anorexic or bulimic as a result of a puzzle

trying to be like the Guess Jeans girl. DearEditor, For Their Sponsorship at the She is not far off in her theory I would like to take this opportunity

about credit that cards being designed to to thank everybody was associ-

make ated with the cast people spend more money. Synergy 97. From mi IMEteUtUIE eiSINISS 6AMES and Credit cards direct payment who were incredible to work with,

render to but the endless the money nothing an to Pikes' help, to

the electronic pulse therefore making it lighting and sound crew, to

almost invisible. do have had. I not a amazing audience we You

credit card I don't could that this was (and want one) say production V ' sit our Wet3 ii iTltfMKf but have used direct payment a cou- like a jigsaw puzzle, all the pieces www.isic-canada.com

ple of times. I have noticed that had to come together to make the

when you pay with cash you physi- end product. Again, I would like to

cally detach yourself from the thank everbody involved, but I

money so it gives you a better sense would just like to let the cast know

of of how much you are losing out that the last seven months have I^S3 account rather than beenwonderful and that I wish each your just seeing W Rebate on A\/ a number on a or screen. and of the best of luck receipt everyone you k37xm. ￿ _■—J future travel* The ISIC. the 0110 and

This can have unfortunate conse- in future endeavors. Just your card nee

Union and returned talk services Canada Enviro-Team, Campus from a given by across 1 No hassles no aclv n Club Environmentalists worked Kristen French's mother, Mrs. l^l<

abundance Donna in honour violence together to bring an of French, of

environmental awareness to WLU. against women. I felt proud to have

All last the in such beautiful trib- week, campus was pro- participated a

vided with to to I I counted opportunity get up ute; felt hopeful as more

date on what to do to help the envi- than a few men in the room; I felt

somewhere ronment. Not only were the tables in peaceful as throughout the the concourse jam-packed with the evening, for a few moments, wor^

pamphlets, brochures, flyers, dichotomy of male and female

posters, giveaways from World became less visible, and we all Student Wildlife Fund, but filled with envi- became simply human. Identity MTRAVEL CUTS:;:::,tj'i ronmentalinformation to help make Mrs. French said something that Card (ISIC) vctmges campus 55 ' the itv « ent trave > s.„,i and hit home for me at the <*peru reducing, reusing, recycling right begin- ran tikt» aflvnnt'lirp of •ssSiSfc laKe OI advantage Sliiilent Union Buildin" easier for everyone. Three prizes ning of her presentation. She said, Av ",,H " VI/Vs student discount. S^2«'si,y \£ere also given away in the envi- "we each have a responsibility to do Out. Re*j #04412342

draw - 3 mini in the vio- ronmentally friendly our part fight against Take a look at the train today! 5Kt1i,,!,,,,,,- recycling blue bins filled with all lence." I reflected on this comment \MMJf mmmm ■ i-Hoo-:u»]-i2r> sorts of for goodies were won by: Greg a moment, hoping person * every Purchase ISIC and «et a voucher worth to VIA Rail ticket. voucher your up $15 off your next The has no cash value Lina and there would take that and is Tliis Thornton, Jobanputra thought away applicable one student ticket purchase. is a limited-time offer which lie discontinued against any mav at any time. Certain restrictions Contact VIA Rail may apply. or local travel CUTs/Voyajjes for detail*. Lauren Klump! These are just tnree with them as I would, although the your campus complete

theCord March 19,1997 13 STUDENT LIFE

Vegetarianism is the way to go

TONY WEIS force-fed and incessantly artificially The North American meat-based Cord Student Commentary Life inseminated, all of which diet is in saturated fat, choles- PHOTO causes high

That must we urgently make intense emotional stress, sadness terol, hormones, pesticides and FILE changes in our consumptive behav- and pain. nitrites, and has been linked conclu-

iour should be obvious So whether to anyone we consider the sively to rises in heart disease,

attune to the of our envi- of: enormity plight breeding sows, ceaselessly strokes, cancer and other debilitat-

ronmental While the problems. kept pregnant and confined in tiny ing diseases. scale and of these metal complexity prob- stalls; male chicks, which are The inefficiency of animal agri- lems may seem incomprehensible, suffocated, gassed, drowned or culture becomes a critical human

the familiar mantra to "think global- ground up alive by egg-producing rights issue in the context of global

and act is which ly locally" more poignant factories to they have no hunger. A child dies of malnutrition

than ever. And one of the most the horror of calfs value; a veal life, every 2.3 seconds, 80 million people

important actions anyone can take confined in total darkness, inhibited die from malnutrition or starvation

to the environment is from protect simple: movement and fed a deliber- every year, and more than a billion

eat a diet. Animal deficient This vegetarian agri- ately diet; or an ail-too long people go hungry every day. culture has levied colossal a envi- list of other abuses, we are looking enormous human tragedy is ampli-

ronmental and toll human on this at an industry that treats animals as fied by the massive waste of

and be planet can no longer ignored inanimate objects rather than the resources involved in the production

fundamental as a environmental sentient beings they are. of animals, consumed largely by the

and social issue. V Whether or not God intended us affluent. At the same time billions

is natural have dominion "Eating meat a to over animals or are going hungry, half of the world's

I'm told omnivo- instinct," by many stewardship as many believe (see grain harvest is being fed to live-

rous friends. While this is highly Genesis 1:29 and Exodus 20:13), it stock where the conversion to edible

contentious, it is a rather moot point would be difficult to imagine Him food is terribly inefficient: 90% of

in light of the fact that there is noth- accepting the atrocities inflicted protein, 99% of carbohydrates, and

natural about the modern ing way upon members of Creation by the 100% of fibre are wasted by cycling

agribusiness has evolved. Today agribusiness industry. The sheer grain through livestock. in hor- eating meat implicates one a excess and inhumanity of modern It Ls difficult to justify this terrible

rendously cruel, inhumane industry agribusiness does not connote stew- waste of food resources in a world of

not kills six billion which only over ardship; rather, it suggests an arro- such extreme and pervasive poverty,

animals in North a year America gance so profound that some have suffering and hunger. Animal agri-

alone for and are too. (over 500 million in Canada), argued it lies at the root of all culture is responsible for a greater Veggies are good you environmentally friendly

but which denies most any sem- humanproblems. pollution burden than other any natural and animal Grand River, this region's source of plies, resources blance of a life. It is a truism 'that if Albert human As Schweitzer wrote, activity. It is a principal water, where the primary cause of welfare are well-documented, and slaughterhouses had glass walls "until we extend our circle of com- cause of deforestation, topsoil ero- cat- worst pollution is organic waste from of all, unnecessary. Lest such there would be a lot more vegetari- to all living tilings, humanity sion, water depletion and passion organic assailed 'holier than tle. Livestock production is also the a stance is as a ans.' The will same might hold true for not find peace." Before such an pollution, and is also a major con- attitude, would that leading consumer of water in North thou' I suggest it a factory farm. idea is dismissed as the view of sumer of fossil fuels. Cattle ranching of America, and the enormity of this is better understood as one Anna Sewell argued, "that if we 'bleeding heart' radicals, try to is accountable for substantial defor- and which reflects the consumption is witnessed by the fact humility one that have that treated habitat destruction and see cruelty or wrong we imagine a society its estation, that if for desire for a humane and you gave up showering more car- the power to stop, and do nothing, animals with care and respect, and desertification worldwide, a prob- not much world. one year, it would save as ing we make ourselves sharers in the think of the implications for the lem especially acute and urgent in water as would be saved by not eat- The intimate link between vege- this of guilt." In spirit, treatment women, children and the where it is the many vegetari- tropics leading and ing a single pound of beef. tarianism an environmental ans take on the responsibility to all races. As Gandhi said, "the cause ofrainforest destruction, '{"he Additionally, enormous amounts of ethos is why Laurier's Environment open eyes, minds, and hearts to the greatness of a nation and its moral land consumption of animal agricul- fossil fuels consumed the Club are in urges everyone to come out that is animal be the ture that tragedy modem-day progress can judged by way is so intense 15 vegetarians heating, transport, slaughter and this Thursday, March 20th (7:00, In North over its animals treated." be fed the amount of land agriculture. America, are Yet every can on refrigeration of billions of animals. Science Building, south lecture hall) 50% of dairy cows, 80% of pigs and minute 15,000 farm animals are needed to produce a meat-centered there learn about this critical In sum, are many com- to more 95% of hens killed North diet poultry are intensively in America. for one person. consider The will include dis- pelling reasons to a vege- issue. evening confined. the of those Thus, mere act To who would suggest we Animal agriculture is also an Albert cussions of relat- tarian lifestyle. As Einstein on an array topics born condemns the being majority concentrate on 'human problems,' it enormous polluter and consumer of wrote, "the vegetarian manner of ed to animal agriculture from two of livestock life-sentence should be understood that fresh our to a in vegetari- water resources. Producing 1 living... would most beneficially renowned, dynamic speakers, and

virtual - faim. a prison a factory In anism is an immensely human pound of meat generates 100 influence of the lot mankind." The will also include free vegan snacks animals factory farms, are over- issue. Animal agriculture has a dev- pounds of manure, which in turn devastating impacts of animal agri- and door-prizes. All are welcome! crowded, drugged, manhandled, astating impact on human health, pollutes the water through leaching culture on human health, food sup- mutilated without food the (often anesthetic). supplies, and environment. and run-off. A case in point is the

Out Spoken StudentBudgetMenu Fluffy Rice and Chicken and CRAIG STEPHEN people open to gay sex, many

Cord Student life "bisexuals" who only date members LYNN PAULI

Inside and outside the gay commu- oftheir own sex. Cord Student Life

nity there is considerable argument Most studies rely on self-report-

how and speculation about many ing, and research subjects who

and lesbians are out there. doubt the of the test 1 can mushroom gays confidentiality soup Many claim 10% of the population, or survey may not report homosex-

that to from ual behaviour. Since these difficul- 1 a figure comes us soup can of milk famous human tend reduce the of Kinsey's study on ties to reporting

in the fifties. Others it number uncooked sexuality say homosexuality, any given 3/4 cup brown rice can't possibly be that high, citing probably represents an absolute

that have found and minimum. surveys gays 1 cup mushroom pieces lesbians to make up as little as 2% It's not surprising that there is

of the population. little consensus on the issue - most 1 envelope onion soup mix The debate liighlights the diffi- studies in the U.S. show a range in

in figuring out the fre- the incidence of culty actually homosexuality 2 chicken breasts or legs 4 to 17%. Even at the mini- quency of homosexuality. First of from

all, the choose to mum one out of people very way you , twenty-five

which that if define homosexuality will affect is gay, means you

If on actual think don't know your results. you focus you any gay peo- mistaken. Mix mushroom and milk. Reserve 1/2 Add mush- behaviour, then you aren't counting ple, you're sadly soup cup. rice,

lesbians who are GLOBAL Lesbian or those gays and (Gay, rooms and 1/2 of the onion soup packet to the remaining mush- not sexually active (most studies Bisexual at Laurier) meetings room and milk if aren't For information, e-mail mix. Place chicken on Pour the reserved mush- assume you're straight you Thursdays. top.

sexual contact). OOGLOBAL@machI .wlu.ca or visit having same-sex room soup mix onto the chicken. Sprinkle the remaining onion As well, asking people to label our website at soup mix on top. Cover and bake at 350F for 1 hour. Remove cover themselves is not terribly reliable httpyAvww.wlu.ca/~wwwclubsAvw and since there are many "straight" w/global.html bake another 15 minutes.

14 March 19, 1997 theCord —(Student Life) Best Buddies Being a "Best Buddy" is makes difference a an invaluable experience

CAROLYN BOUIUS other ERIN HAWKER better, and to have fun with a discouraged at Cord Student Life AND ANN HUSKINSON diverse and talented of the group peo- responses CANADA Before coming to Laurier and get- Cord Student Life ple. This last event demonstrated from certain involved with Best I Best Buddies is and col- ting Buddies, a university one of the main goals of the Best individuals in had never been involved in a close lege-based volunteer Buddies as since terms of their BUDDIES program program well, the relationship with someone designed to possess- promote friendships students were invited to bring along somewhat ing a developmental disability. This BEST between university and college stu- a few friends. apprehensive is true for who dents and adults with and quite many people attitudes when BY developmen- Programs events such as don't tal disabilities. The first come into contact with such Canadian this help break down barriers in serving us in individuals often, and who, in chapter started in 1993 at York very restaurants society by providing a place where PROVIDED and this the of my opinion, are missing something and University, year saw two groups people can meet and stores, I creation similar very special. Simply put, my person- of a chapter here at get to know each other. Michelle continue to feel al Laurier. experience with Best Buddies has PHOTO Lawson, a Student Buddy, com- that only been one unlike other. The was mented afterward that any —— *■ r Chapter organized Best through MMir H--'i- J Best Buddies offers partners in through Extend-A-Famijy in Buddies "is fabulous increased inter- Best Buddies with a program. can provide you a unique the relationship a chance to learn Kitchener, who worked with You to meet students from dif- action will such into the life of another get insight person. and Since the Director Bouius to ferent and grow together. begin- Campus Carolyn years faculties. Also, the discriminatory ning of this school pair Laurier students with their Buddies year my Buddy up are people we never would behaviours be eliminated. Contact punctual, making sure we are on and I have, various Buddies. A total of fourteen stu- have had the through outings with others in the time wherever opportunity to meet community who we go. This is a com- and dents have the get-togethers, gotten to know participated in pro- otherwise, and I just can't under- are open to people with disabilities pletely good thing, since it helps

one another and built a this a number that will stand how be friendship has been for both, and gram year, they can segregated satisfying us mak- keep me my scatter brain on thatwill last for to due to the from years come. for track. hopefully grow large society, or why they are." ing some very positive and valu- Not have I learned need in Bouius The only more able tend our community. group activities are testimo- experiences. I to view our relationship about the noted that disability my Buddy pos- there were more to the fact that towards There is still endless amount in terms of what many ny attitudes an mostly my Buddy but I also who than sesses, have come to Buddies applied could be with to learn about a for people developmental disabili- my Buddy, who is provides me, which may seem understand how he lives and deals accommodated. ties and honest and somewhat are changing, these people uniquely funny guy. His selfish. However, it is with his and As well physical mental restric- as the are valu- to for I hard not to Buddy pairs finally being recognized as willingness accept me who see things this way tions. I can more fully appreciate meeting individually couple of able members of am he that I talk too because of all that to every society. (although says he brings my the strong support that his weeks, four activities have first system has life group For a year on campus, much!), touched me on a level outside of the classroom. My and school and taken the family provide, that few place throughout year. Carolyn considers the group to have have. From the moment university experience has been above all, I have come to respect Among these was a excur- been that met him see bowling very successful. "Friendship I I could that he indelibly enriched by this program, and admire this individual for sion, ceramic and an every- held and painting pots, is so important to the Buddies since some very high standards for I fully recommend getting thing he has to offer, whatev- Their of them despite himself, everybody birthday party. most are very isolated and such as those concerning involved with Best Buddies to find obstacles final er may be placed in his fourth and of the didn't have to the his and that who activity year any friends prior personal appearance man- special someone may be

was held on March 9th, in way. ners. from Sunday, program. Most of us cannot relate As well, he likes to be very missing your life. As most friends do, the Hawk's Nest, where the to my Buddy group this, since so much of our lives and I talk on the phone and to played pool and other games. It revolve around friendships and try

get together at least once two was an informal get-together for relationships with others." every weeks. Our Laurier students off outings have included to blow some Please get involved with Best going and steam and for their Buddies to kick Buddies because bowling shooting pool, everyone deserves and whenever the Leafs are off their March Break vacation. to have friend playing a they can talk to and we're This event on television, right there with was much anticipated by share their dreams, fears, tears and them. The nature of all; one my role in the Buddy even brought along laughter with. For more informa- his relationship as a Student Buddy is to own pool cue. tion, please call WLU Campus act The as a facilitator and help group events have been Director Carolyn Bouius at 884- engage in social interaction when opportunities for in my buddy great everyone 8970 or Heather at the Toronto BK the know we go out into the chapter to get to each Head Office at 1-888-779-0061. community. Although at times I have been I Happy to be part of the Laurier family TEAR YOURM DAN TAPLEY my home. I know how the room

Cord Life Student numbering system works; I have

When I first to came Laurier, every- weathered the change from "what seemed thing so foreign to me. in the world is the C.T.8." to "I have

like A.C. and C.T.B. Acronyms were a class on the fifth floor of the

all around me and APART'W seemed to C.T.8." to the hell the SOUL "what is

belong to an unknown language. Woods Building?" All I could do was "I don't care Laurier has become like say, just my

where the C.T.B. all I need to small is, hometown to me. I can't

know is how to to the Central walk get across campus without run-

Teaching Building!" ning into someone I know (if I don't I was surrounded by a bunch of see a familiar face, I'm worried),

red buildings that seemed cold and the have buildings become my I threatening. was Christopher security blanket, and I I know am imm to m Columbus brand discovering a new home when I'm on campus.

world, a world that I had never People here no longer seem for-

seen before, a world where to All things eign me. of us belong to the

were done differently. same Laurier 'family'; at least we

1 used to think that there was no all have that one thing in common. in hell that way I would ever learn The Laurier life has definitely around this massive school. my way had a profound effect on me. I

To most Laurier people, seems never figured that I could make it small and unimposing, but 1 come than through more one day on less from a town of 2000. Our than five hours high of sleep; now my school is all and in whole on one floor, my routine is thrown off by town can't you help but walk down sleeping eight hours. the street and meet an acquain- After Laurier, the outside world tance. the small town 'hick' will at and Being first be scary imposing. that I I (MHQ) am, was lost. How would 1 People will speak in 'languages' ever to meet get anyone? that we don't understand. The

It is two now nearly years after I buildings will look like they want to was to back home ready ship to close in on us. Soon, though, we

this alien land call will escape we become one of the people Laurier. Now 1 am a member ofthe speaking the 'foreign language,' 9:00 mob. we BEFORE acronym-spewing and will walk confidently in this NO COVER Laurier no longer seems so new world. large and imposing; it has become $4.00 ON SUNDAY 220 KING W.I

theCord March 19,1997 15 SPORTS

Guelph wins CIAU crown

MIKE MCKENNA one ranked University of Alberta

Cord Sports Bears Golden didn't give up though. PHOTO

unsuccessful tries After two in They were finally able to solve RLE the last four Mullin years, the Guelph when Pete MacKellar found

the Gryphons finally reign supreme in back of the net on what would

the CIAU ranks. to be hockey prove the first of his two goals

Leadwith the stellar netminding in the period. The rest of the Reds

of Matt Mullin, the Gryphons defeat- were not so fortunate though as

ed the University of New Brunswick they fired 16 shots at Mullin in the

Reds 4-3 at Leaf and short Varsity Maple period came up as they

Gardens on Monday night. The vic- trailed 3-2 when the horn sounded

tory also marked the first champi- to end the second period.

OUAA The onship by an team since onslaught continued and so

1988-89. did the tough luck for the UNB

Brian Thompson opened the squad. Ryan Bouman made it 4-2

scoring for the Gryphs just under for Guelph as he restored a two goal

three minutes in on a goal mouth lead beating Frank Leßlanc for

feed from Chris to what would to the Clancy give the prove be winner,

Gryphs a 1-0 lead. The goal came two and a half minutes into the

much to the delight of the 5,776 fans third.

who saw one of the better games to Yet again, the boys from out east

be at the this wouldn't continued played Gardens so far go away. They

to shots at season. pepper the seemingly

From there the Gryphons unbeatable Mullin. Finally with just

seemed to control the play for the over five minutes left Toby Burkitt,

rest of the first period and took a 2-0 who Mullin had earlier stymied on a

lead the after scored into dressing room 20 breakaway, on a power play

minutes. The flood gates seemed to making it 4-3. The goal restored

when Reds Cinderella The shown in action earlier this won the CIAU title the open up Tim Spitzig scored a hope that the season Guelph Gryphons, year, Monday night defeating

Reds 4 - 3. power play goal to make it 3-0 early would be culminated with a Varsity

in the second period. Canadian championship. award. CIAU of the at last host the CIAU Championships for victory and the games MVP player year The Varsity Reds who earned it just wasn't meant to Though weeks the next three He also won basically every other awards banquet. years. Organizers are

their first ever trip to the CIAU be. Mullin stood on his head at also the better out west. CIAU award that was given out this The game marked last hoping for crowds with 4-3 times and out of the championship a stunning kept everything that will host the season. His MVP trophy capped off time Toronto

overtime upset over the number cage from there on in, sealing the a season in which he was named Nationals for a while. Saskatoon will

Elite Eight set for High expectations

Halifax for new look Jays

GREG award for Blue CHOWNYK McMaster, Bishop's and Francis Xavier have got to be the JIM DONNELLY Young (Ist a Jay

Cord sports St. Francis Xavier all enter the tour- teams to watch. Howeverthe AND GREG CHOWNYK ever), and Juan Guzman led the

nament as division champions, while Voyaguers from Laurentian can't be CORD SPORTS American League in earned run

This weekend will mark the end of the two wild card spots were both counted out as they held on to the After struggling through what average. the for the the The varsity sports season given to teams in OUAA. number oneranking for a good por- was supposed to be a rebuilding The infield looks strong all

when will battle it and of the before two Toronto around. Garcia takes at QAU eight teams Guelph Gryphons Toronto tion year losing year last season, the over sec-

in in Blue had of out for the National Championship Varsity Bhies will join the others games in the last few weeks. Jays a change ond, a problem spot for the team

Halifax to Women's The in at third men's basketball. Halifax will once due their strong seasons. champs crowned: thoughts the offseason. last year. Ed Sprague and

host the that Both lost in their division Manitoba Instead with the Alex will again play to event gets respective University of successfully of sticking youth Gonzalez at shortstop sure

finals. Victoria and St. defended their National women's GM will underway Friday. Victoria, Brandon, McMaster. movement, Gord Ash went up the left side, although more

basketball title this weekend and added be from the bat past as out some experienced expected of the

defeated the York Yeowomen veterans that looks KMUIU they immediately put young shorstop. It as though 73-62 in Thunder Bay. The number them back in the playoff hunt. Joe Carter and Carlos Delgado will Bisons Teri- NLt two ranked were led by New faces for the Jays this share the first base and designated

who Lee Johannesson, not only con- year include pitcher Roger hitter roles. Having both their bats

tributed but named 2B 19 points, was Clemens (from Boston), Carlos in the lineup is a must for manager

the tournament's MVP for the sec- Garcia, P Dan Pleasac and OF Cito Gaston. Charlie O'Brien and

ond consecutive Manitoba Orlando year. got Merced (all from Santiago give the Jays a solid veter-

to via semi the final their final victory Pittsburgh), and C Benito an duo behind the plate.

over Western, while York upset the Santiago (Philadelphia). Otis Nixon, Shawn Green and

number one ranked Toronto The will the bulk Varsity biggest addition comes in newcomer Merced get

Blues in their semi final matchup. the form of Clemens who will of the action in the outfield. Expect

and Track news: bolster the X-Country already strong start- a lot from Merced who has been

interested in will far in Anyone becoming a ing staff, which also feature swinging a great bat thus

member ofthe Laurier cross country Pat Hentgen, Juan Guzman, Erik spring training. Carter will see

or track teams should attend a meet- Hanson and an undetermined some action in the outfield as will

March 21 ing at s:3opm in the Wilfs fifth starter. Ash better hope rookie Shannon Stewart who Den. The team will next Clemens still has take the next compete something left appearsready to step. other with universities and at in his to watch year arm, something many Interesting situations the Ontario University think he doesn't for during the rest of spring train- For Championships. further infor- The bullpen doesn't look quite ing include the battle for the fifth

mation, contact Jamie at not as strong as the starting five - starter position and whether or [email protected]. Mike Timlin and Tim Crabtree veterans Mike Aldrete and Juan

More needed: A of both will off runners group be used as closers, but Samuel will be around to come

second year Phys. Ed. students are in the past neither has for proven the bench, or will the team opt

organizing the 19th annual 3K/10K themselves of the role. capable job on younger players to fill this WLU for The run charity. event is a permanent basis. Pleasac will The outlook does look good for scheduled March to go 23 at a role the the The have play key as lefty set up Jays. new acquisitions 9:3oam. Proceeds the from event man out of the bullpen. vaulted them into a playoff con- will to the United Way. Anyone silver in go The lining to the Jays' tender, although it will be tough interested in should cloud last participating year lay within the a division that also houses

meet at the A.C on race no later day pitching staff. Hentgen had spot- Baltimore and the Yankees. than 9am. The race will start on less numbers in winning the Cy Bricker Avenue.

16 March 19, 1997 theCord Sports) Low-fat and no-fat foods

really are too good to be true

SUZANNE HUNTJENS is the The about to problem that we face gross chips. misconception level increase rapidly followed by ries treats, stick with your veggies

Cord Sports about these is Remember and to misconception low-fat and particular foods that they a sudden decrease. as fruit fill your hunger spot or

As 1 wander and down the that all low in and well that added has up no-fat foods are popping up are fat are therefore a sugar a nutri- as a mid-day snack. If you have the

aisles in the room- alternative to their fat tional value of but that natu- grocery store, my healthy high zero, will power not to eat an entire box

mate often wonder what 1 versions. banana of reduced fat am doing rally occurring sugars (in a Oreos and you can

when I have first realize that for with then all taking so long only a People must any instance) come packed ration yourself to one a day,

few to I cart of it is vitamins and minerals. the to If like the things buy. push my by source calories-whether water, fiber, power you! you are

the cracker aisle and to take fat- end Most of those of with insa- stop a sugar, protein or can up as of the low-fat foods are rest us, us an

look, in front of is of fat if calories have lot of instinct me an array body you eat more highly processed, a tiable to wolf down ten low-

crackers and cookies that than burns. In added and chips, your body other sugar are very high in fat cookies because they are LOW

LOW FAT their could end do favour have plastered on words, you up gaining calories (and empty ones at that!). FAT, yourself a and resist

in ate too avoid and fronts fluorescent writing. My weight ifyou many apples or To added sugar high calo- the temptation.

stomach is shouting "those cookies oranges. The important ingredient

to watch for in are low-fat and are soooo good!" many processed

while mind "it's foods is added When eat my is shouting back, sugar. you

don't do it!!" too a trap, much you end up tired Surprising sugar

This is the dilemma many of us over the place. Everything from and often more hungry because the

we low-fat face as step into the grocery yogurt to crackers to brown- sugar is quickly absorbed into your of weeks. store every couple The ies to ice cream to mayonnaise to body and it causes your blood sugar Sweet 16

Has Howe lost his mind? GREG CHOWNYK lock in the East California, the fifth

Cord Sports seed, is their next opponent and

After getting offto what can be con- providing they get past them, the

sidered a predictable start last only other competition comes from

makes them look bush- team to actually play hockey? even more Thursday, the remainder of the Louisville who sits as the sixth

is than in The man virtually seventy league they already are. Talk weekend was full ofsurprises in the ranked team the region.

old. He's He's about years a legend. gained desperation. NCAA basketball tournament. With Duke out of the picture in

from that he's how do the real that have left the the everything hockey Even worse, Surprises numer- Southeast, pre tournament he be ever going to. How is going to players of the AHL feel about this? ous poolies abroad shaking their favourite Kansas will walk through

full of The for competitive in a league twenty league's only reason being is heads. the rest of their competition. They make and four of the number shouldn't have trouble year-olds trying deperately to to develop groom youngplayers Although all any against

the big leagues? Sure, back in his for the NHL; more than a few one seeds managed to survive the Arizona and the Cinderella team

prime he was known as Elbows, but AHljers must be bitter about being opening two rounds, many other from Providence will soon come

no hard-nosed AHLer is going to be equated with a senior, no matter top ranked teams were not as lucky. back down to earth.

afraid of a senior citizen. The most howmuch of a legend he is. In total two number two seeds, all Out in the Midwest number one

damage Howe will be able to inflict Reaction to the story around the four of the number three seeds and Minnesota and number two UCLA the occasional stomach is maybe NHL was one of amazement. Phil one of the number four seeds fell by are the two best teams left. UCLA is

cramp. Esposito, GM of the Tampa Bay the wayside. on a roll, but Minnesota has quietly for an 1 return Hoping April It's impossible to understand Lightning, recently told the Toronto The upsets began Friday when put together a successful season.

what could possibly be going Star that Howe's recent comeback is Georgia, the number three seed in Throw in the upstart lowa State

JIM DONNELLY through Howe's head to make this "..Amazing. What is he, nuts? Well, the Southeast fell to the upstart Cyclones and this very well could be

Cord Sports Commentary decision - from kind of after all, his son is he is. I can't believe it. I'm going to team Tennessee-Chattanooga, the most interesting bracket.

Just when retired - but it's defeat we were beginning to ultimately not going make a comeback, t00... next week." who also went on to number Hie only region that may offer

think hurt him the Bobby Hull was hockey's ulti- to as much as the sport in It's sad that Howe feels he has to six Illinois in round two. South more excitementcould be West

mate Gordie the seed the East national disgrace, Howe peeps general. Howe is already a legend; do this. He has everything to lose Carolina, two in Defending champs

his head out of the shadows the and any mistakes he makes at this point and nothing to gain, besides getting lost their first round game to Coppin Kentucky are rolling as num-

himout water. blows of the in his life can be blamed on senility. his name in a few headlines. Howe's State. berone seed and Utah has been

Is this an April Fool's joke, or However, what is the AHL, and personal whims are making a mock- Even more teams felt the wrath steady at the two position. With the

what? Is it that NHL the out Cardinals possible an more specifically Syracuse ery of the game. on the weekend as big names like Stanford coming alive, from Wake this weekend's superstar forty years ago has Crunch, thinking by allowing this? Pray it's an April Fool's prank. Duke and Forest-complete action in San Jose

contract with second-last its them of shootout. signed a a Sure, giving very cheap with Player the Year Tim could be quite the

American but in the Duncan- home Sure it little different Sweet place Hockey League publicity now, long run it were sent packing is a

much before expected. Those loses Sixteen than some predicted, but

will be combined with the early exits of the action looks as though it C6RB SPOR73... Villanova, Cincinnati and New just as exciting as ever. Final Four ask? Mexico make for an very interesting prediction you

second weekend ofthe tournament. North Carolina and Kansas are

The prognosis looks good for all locks. Look for UCLA to come out of and Utah from the (dR/Tt IsSITHTHEB/G &0/8 the number one ranked squad. the Midwest North Carolina almost looks to be a Westregion in a close one.

I TO"ecw>pe? IB

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theCord March 19,1997 17 (Sports} Raptors report card

CONOR MCCREARY Toronto Between you'd be right. walk occasionally even under Pat Cord sports Commentary Damon Stoudamire and Doug Riley. Also look at how Doug FPHOTO OK the mark of the season Christie the halfway Raptors have one of the Christie and Rogers have blossomed ni has and long now most teams - past strongest backcourts in the league underWalker. B+

are gearing for the The no joke. Now if up playoffs. only Hubert Davis G.M.: How can one complain about Toronto Raptors probably won't be had been healthy, and Martin Zeke? Isiah has taken several risks around in the season, so now is Whiteside the post competent Raptors and so far has not lost one of them.

the time to look at howthe has would have had year a really strong set The only deal that looks a little weak

unfolded for them. Their 23-42 now is Hubert Davis for a first

record isgood enough to put them rounder. Besides look at the theft he

ahead of seven other teams in the The on Dallas, Jones and Rap's pulled Popeye NBA. So, how have the Raptors a first rounder for a second rounder

done this in a year piece by piece may tie and Jimmy King? And, the rest of Well lets see. the still the analysis? league is buzzing over Centres: This took department a ready to Walt Williams for league minimum huge blow with the to Zan injury signing. Finally, Thomas has players Tabak, and the indifferent of play start beating wanting to come to a second year Sharone (to be fair he has Wright franchise in Canada, that is a hell of

been back but bothered by his feat. It is Isiah not the bad a Damon that is Acie Earl was Acie but 5ti11...). Earl, this franchise's best little man. A+

with the recent additions of Cliff - Oliver teams as Biggest Downer: Tie Rozier and the true round mound of Miller's disappearing act in the off- rebound Oliver Miller, the have Raps season, and the injury/unimpressive well as a to this gone long way shoring up play of SharoneWright. trouble Still its spot. tough to give Biggest Upper: Doug Christie, the of this production out position upsetting Christie is finally putting the talent

than a C. more that made him a first round pick in

Forwards: When left their betters. '92 all Tracy Murray together. Christie is now last looked bad for the year, things Toronto's best all around player. A

at this But with the of John offers defensive Raps position. guards. Long some specialist, he leads all

free of Walt minutes and veteran canny agent signing savvy. While guards in the NBA in rebounding "the Wizard" Williams, and the Shawn Respert offers a wealth of and has been the Raptors most trade to acquire Popeye Jones cou- talent - on paper. A- steady performer. Oh, and his 30 with the of Carlos pled emergence Coadiing: Darryl Walker seems to point potential is kinda nice too.

and the of rook- have done After all he Forecast The be Rogers, progression a good job. Rap's may ready

ie Marcus the have has had a Carnby Raptors to play without centre for to start beating the bad teams as

but forward a nice little here. the of the the well group majority season, yet as upsetting their betters. If this Slater also Reggie has been a nice Raptors have still been competitive. is true watch the Raps to play close

short term B Toronto still to for surprise. However, undergoes .450 ball the rest of the year. Guard: Quick quiz hotshot! What those maddening periods of sloppi- This team makes the idea of playoff Damon Stoudamire has led the all Last team owns the best ness. To be fair to Walker contention next look once Raptors year long. rebounding though, year very very agin

backcourt in the NBA? If said this team Rookie of the Year has shown he'll be an all-star soon. you would probably space- possible. year's very

■■ March >

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DAVE SCOTT singer Damon explains: "It's all Anyone who never really under­ CORD ENTERTAINMENT about freedom, it's an attitude, and stood the subtleties of English cul­ As anyone who has followed once you're in that frame of mind, ture and references in the past cou­ their career will know, Blur you write songs that are a little less ple of albums will find this one more has been one of the bands on fussy." accessible. -- the British pop scene over This very un-British attitude has Blur is currently on the road the past few years. proved to be energizing for Blur and touring the new album - this tour Their fifth album, simply has resulted in an open and intimate brought them to a sold-out gig at called "Blur," marks a new album. Guitarist Graham Coxon Toronto's Warehouse last Thursday. beginning after a year of added, "It's a lot rawer than our pre­ Unlike the Stone Roses, Blur is self-imposed exile. Tired vious albums - soundwise and emo­ really good live, and they gave an of the drudgery of being tionally. It may shock some people, animated, coherent performance. wildly famous, these four but a lot of people will really love it. Opening with the trio of lads from Colchester, It's a lot to do with our 'world'." "Beetlebum," "Song 2" and "Girls Essex, felt that they Refreshingly spontaneous, Blur is and Boys," the sound was as good as were deviating from pushing the boundaries and avoid­ it can be at the Warehouse. their original credo - to ing the confines of the mainstream Damon led the band through a be wilful. slightly out of superlad phenomenon. Gone are the tight set that they clearly had fun control, and constant­ brass sections, transvestite bank with. Highlights for me were ly changing. The managers, and social class commen­ "Stereotypes" and "Parklife," which mood within the taries. Here are fourteen tracks that came across energetically and nicely band was that the share a new feeling of innovation. unshaven. new record shoUld From the bouncy and spontaneous Blur will return to play an as-yet be unpredictable, "Song 2" through to the folky, unnamed outdoor venue this sum­ and if necessary, acoustic "You're So Great," you mer. Until then, we can listen to the uncommercial. never know what's coming next. I new record and celebrate a fabu­ Inspired by fresh American tal­ particularly enjoyed "Chinese lously varied and entertaining piece ent such as Beck and Pavement, Bornhs" with its hard-core attitude, of work. Blur took a much more instinctive and "Movin' On" with its sleazy rock approach to this album. As lead feel.

L

(continued from pg. 1) lap dancing sequence of the scene. costumes to keep the audience up LORI DYSIEVJCK which grew even hotter when the with the rapidly changing themes of CORD ENTERTAINMENT models were up and dancing with each scene. In particular, MC Chris After a fifteen minute intennis­ each other on the runway. The Hewitt stood out, although it must sion during which the MC's drew models just kept giving it one hun­ be said that all of the MC's were very names for numerous prizes, the dred percent during the fourteenth good. Each proved again and again stage was then covered with smoke scene, "Perpetual Motion". that pride means nothing when rais­ again for the ninth scene, "No Boyz Funk was revived in scene fif­ ing money for charity. The MC's Allowed." This all female scene teen, and the models changed the dressed in drag (sequined dresses, began with the dancers being car­ complete with polka dot boxers and ried and laid onto the stage as the really bad wigs) sang off key, cooed eerie theme to the X-Files played. lbedandng over attractive models and even With some great outfits and incredi­ each other. Unfortunately, when a ble dancing, the scene set the stan­ went beyond personal insult was thrown at one dard for what can only be described MC, she had to prove that her wit as an electric second half of the dirty to was quicker. But hey, there's one show. The talented display of amaz­ asshole in every crowd. ing dancing only got better with the Staging, backdrops, props, spe­ tenth scene, "Underground VIbes," downright cial effects, and obviously an enor­ which was impressive because it mous amount of work made was difficult The models, however, hot in scene Synergy '97 an exceptional perfor­ never lost their excellent syncronici- 13, IIOvert mance of an annual show that we ty. should be proud to say is unique to In the lingerie scene, different WLU. As usual, the show is more lighting techniques were used and Seduction:' about giving a terrific performance the male models hid under props as then about the fashions that the female models sashayed to Bjork's models'dancers are wearing. (Not Hyper Ballad. Then the dancing bad for a bunch of amateur under­ style changed (and grew very the­ style of dancing again as the lighting grad students, eh?) This year's cast a1rir:o1 "~ain) as the models danced went psychedelic. Then came the performed three shows (usually to r J of songs from the Dirty grand finale, "Roaring 20's". there are only two ). therefore rais­ Danbo o:j soundtrack. The audience Dressed in tuxedos and flapper ing even more money for the Family roared as two models achieved a dresses, the models kicked the Awareness Centre. I compliment the table top lift. Charleston and the 1\vo-Step. entire cast and crew for an incredi­ The dancing went beyond dirty Throughout the night the MC's bly professional, enthralling show to downright hot in scene 13, 1'0vert were excellent, entertaining the filled with delightful originality. Seduction." Smoke covered the audience with jokes, singing , danc­ Congratulations Synergy '97! Fitness model Ken Busby uboxercised" the night away at Synergy . steamy stuff performed in the initial ing, and constantly changing their

20 March 19, 1997 theCord -(Entertainment) Mmmmmoist...

nized but couldn't MIKE VENCEL to the different songs they played. place. As they

Cord Entertainment Crowd surfers were the norm in this played, I realized it was a cover but I

1 with but unlike other shows I've didn't know of whom. I hum- To say was honestly surprised venue, was almost this show would be an understate- been to, they were well supported. ming along, subconsciously,

from end of the crowd to when the chorus "Billie ment. After they cancelled out back Flying one came up:

not in January, I was a little disappoint- the other, the only way they got Jeanis my 10ver..."

if not that's ed because it was sure to have been down was they asked, because Yep, right, Moist was cov-

The lead Michael but a good time. Then they rescheduled they were dropped. singer, ering Jackson, doing

echoed this in that the 'o for last Saturday, and this couldn't Dave Usher, sentiment so a way even King

the crowd "make Weird would havebeen Fed have been a worse day. Everyone by urging to sure proud.

with Hall this - the crowd that was going to go me can- everyone's supported, we don't need was just loving

because back Never to be wild and Usher celled out at the last minute any injuries." one was going even

of the fashion show or ICE week. I left out, Usher joined the crowd seemed to love the response he was

and while the Usher was stuck going to the concert surfers even sang a song getting. During next song

the then told that in the alone. standing on crowd, and us five years he's

and forth been with the bassist I arrived late, and by 10:30pm was tossed back as he Moist, (Jeff

I the chorus. Pearce) had never been crowd surf- they were already on stage, so sang

crowd this This to decided to take a spot near the back The was eating up ing. was about change and

after from of Fed Hall and watch the show and constantly clamoured for more. some urging Usher,

rest to and fell unfold. The refreshing thing was Usher and the were happy Pearce got up on a speaker

that mix after until into the crowd. moved him they played a of songs from please, playing song song They

their and old albums. the The back and forth until new "Silver," they finally exited stage. they deposited

crowd in after him the so he could "Push," "Ophelia" and "Gasoline" was shock; over an on ground get back the look were all there. (I'm not sure about hour of constant music and excite- to playing. From on

he had time. "Leave it Alone" or "Resurrection," ment it was over. Or was it? his face a great

"all but they could have played those Nobody was moving because they As the old saying goes, good

knew there would be must to end," and before I got there.) The most amaz- an encore. things come an

BEXAN this After five minutes of the crowd Moist Usher said ing thing about concert was not was no exception.

but the Moist!" Waterloo of the best the music show they put on. shouting "Moist, they came was one places

back end the and he was it RACHEL If one thing can be said about on stage. to tour, happy

done. In his words, "It's Moist, it's that they certainly know I think the encore performance was own the favourite of the show - the last of our tour and PHOTO: how to play a crowd. Watching was my part night

from the back, it was amazing to see it was just amazing. They came on first night ofmy drinking binge."

the mosh undulating in and started playing a 1 recog- Fed Hall played host to Dave Usher's hair in all its full-bodied glory. pit response song

Conestoga rock show a bit rusty

stance. BRANDON WATSON had any balls." But Scratching Post armed, straight legged They

didn't of the new Cord Entertainment "rocked it off." They highlighted recognize any

Metallica's and didn't into the of Before the show, amongst the clutter their metal set with songs get flow

of chairs and tables, the ragged "Master of Puppets." Rock! the unknown. For Fluke's "Punk"

of waltzed the there toe and headed members rusty ponder Rusty on stage to was some tapping about what the evening will hold. If they theme of "Law and Order" (the head swaying, but that's it.

after the The who to had dreamt of body suffering 'and a "Doogie Howser" rip-off) only one appeared enjoy

finished down. himself old restless teen crowd, they were sadly opener had tearing was a forty-year long-

and horribly mistaken. The evening They slumped into a slow track off hair hippie whacked on goof-balls. Robinson's did would be ruined thanks to a thank- their latest release, "Sophomoric." Finally, Mrs. not

less bunch oflosers. It was then that I realized I was hold a "rock" environment. The

surrounded losers. house on and the whole It was a blustering, chilly by lights were lit The Thursday night of March 13th at Rusty was as good as usual. place was up. only lighting

Mrs. Robinson's. Rusty had arrived They played well and incorporated effects on the stage were immobile

There tables and early to setup and play videos and almost the entire new album into spotlights. were

chairs all the and there strutted like rock stars. There was their set. They hopped and jumped over place

— wasn't for comfort- also some preparation for a live to pretty intense-like. Some sloppy enough room a

that able dance floor (if had air connection with CKWR radio. coordination gave the indication anyone

real neat. with the still at "roach motel" wanted to liberate themselves). It Neat, At any rate, rusty stays the

sounds little critical, but makes a hype almost comparable to the OJ religiously before every show. They a

bound be and of difference when it is done Trial, the show was to a were entertaining worthy a great

their success. good review for performance. right.

three 1 love 1 think the Slithering amongst the losers I Nonetheless, things were rusty. new

found nice the release is better than the last, but a perch overlooking bitterly wrong. BEXAN still forward rock n' roll. stage. And shortly after, the opening The first problem was the event. just straight show for act began. It was Toronto's own Organized by Conestoga College, They great potential RACHEL in the And fur- Scratching Post and metal was the there was a shit load of thirty-year- endurance industry.

The mate. thermore the members that game. singer was a genuine olds trying to find a soul They agree PHOTO: themselves thick rock chick, complete with studded never glanced at the stage, they they are enjoying

thin. leather wristband and white-trash never left their pool table, and never and

and at Mrs. Robinson's as rides comebacks. her the had interest in what was With that in mind, will A a rusty again The losers gave any going rusty toque song

that around them. an East Coast tour in P.E.I, and opportunity to exercise virtue, on open

Will please come tits!" the handful of kids that head inwards. will crowd that is worthy of the quartet's Sorry rusty. you by yelling: "Show me your In Secondly, Maybe they again...? did for the were to attend a third this summer, atmosphere. response she said: "Why don't you come show glued Edgefest aggressive

come here and that if the floor. Statued in their cross- find an American label, or find a say ... you

feat. Wed. March 26 andThurs. March Wed. March 19 Fringe '97 in the TA, 7pm. Tickets Benefit: Musicians' Network Matt 27 WUJ at the ($6 for a night). Call Anxious Blue, Squirm, Where to A concertby composers are $3 per play WLU French Drama students Maureen Forrester Recital Hall. 8 884-0710 x4882 for advance tickets Osborne, Riverworks, Corduroy pre-

sent "La Chambre Mandarine" - free admission. them the door. Leda pm or buy at Campus in the 21st. (mature theme and content) Hang Fringe continues on the Theatre Auditorium. Bpm - admis- Thurs. Mardi 20 Tues. Mar25

International Benefit sion $4 for students, $6 for non-stu- Reception at the Langden Gallery: Fri. March 21 Amnesty the Rain dents. Tickets available at the door Multimedia art by Students, Faculty My Neighbour Ned plays at Wiffs Coffee House at Tree, fea- x2398. I or by phone at 884-0710 and Staff. 4-6pm, free admission. turing lenry, Craig Cardiff, Sterling

March 22 Wilt, Chris Sonneman

theCord March 19, 1997 21 (Entertainment Awards that Oscar forgot

SEAN MOORE

CAESAR MARTINI Best soundtrack accompanied by

Cord Entertainment a backing motion picture: In lieu of the upcoming Academy "Trainspotting"— Let's see...we'll get Awards for motion all this pictures, we cool music together and as a

we add some we'll make thought might cate- backdrop a movie that the be gories powers that might around it about heroin addiction or have forgotten. Here goes: something. The kids will love it!

Best patriotic propaganda film: The one-trick actor award: "Chris

"Independence — else Day" Who Farley"— Congratulations, Tommy could the world from alien the save an Black Sheep Boy Ninja from

invasion? Those neutral Swiss? 1 for Beverly Hills, your persistent don't think U.S.A. all so. the way portrayal of a flailing simpleton in

baby! nearly every movie you star in. photo Best film without any discern- Best actress in a typecast role: 112 able plot "Twister" — O.K. We'll "PamelaAnderson" for "Barb Wire" ni

get these tornadoes and idiots will — Hmmm, let's to her in try keep Numb, but not numb enough: Anthony Minghella's "The English Patient" chase then will that them, things fly tight sort of bikini look. Uhh, try around and be loud. It'll and be a hit not to say much, Pam. Just shoot ters can't be ALL, bad. Most annoying interpretation of stock. Oh, sorry Monsieur

with the trailer and around lot. dialect — If I no Brandon Lee. park population. things bounce a a regional "Fargo" Perez, you're Runner of idiots talk up: Independence Day. Most ass-numbing movie: had to listen to a legion intended for Best piece of crap picture of the "Hamlet"— A tough decision in light in thataccent, I'd start killing people Best screenplay an adolescent audience: "BeavLs and Most annoying catch-pnrase: year "From Dusk Til' Dawn"—Gee, of its competition with films like too.

for "Show the overestimated the and oh "The Butthead Do America" — How bet- "Jerry Macguire", me someone really "Heat", "Casino", yes,

I'll ter to to immature audi- money!" Okay Cuba, show you popularity of pointless schlock hor- English Patient", but this one will Worst sequel known to man: appeal an

the then I'll show didn't Mister Tarantino? make to "The Crow: of — than the word money...and you a ror, they, definitely your ass go sleep. City Angels" ence by including

kick to the head. movie which LA has but "butt" times minute. drop Enough Still, any in Cheech Sorry, Mister Shakespeare. Apparently, nothing yel- forty every already! Marin plays three different charac- low and blue florescent lights in

Singleton digs in Three Sites

PETER SCHMIDT white town of Sumner. Rosewood's saves the group from certain extinc- CORD ENTERTAINMENT Utopian serenity, the euphoric tion. While a refreshing change Conflict the newest film behaviour of the mob and the from infatuation of Rosewood, lynch Hollywood's usual from young phenom John Singleton, terror of women and children as with white Americans' role in com-

is the story of how an all black town they flee for their lives are brilliant bating racial injustice (see

its was completely annihilated and contrasts. Singletons unflinching Mississippi Burning, A Time To ERIN KEATING change of scenery, the audience was

citizens murdered stranded by a rampaging, camera displays such horror to its Kill, Ghrcts Of Mississippi, etc.), CORD ENTERTAINMENT faced with two figures on a

white mob. Based of the Rhames' unbeliev- when This the on true events fullest extent, providing some actions are often Last Saturday, most intelligent deserted island. was setting

which occurred in 1923, this vio- most harrowing scenes in recent able. In addition, the romantic sub- people were content to huddle inside for "Landed", a play that was writ*

lence in reaction to rather than ten Whfttaker. was the dssault memory. plot occurs in the usual, mindless their homes venture out and directed by Robin

white who had such of a woman falsely Unfortunately, riveting fashion, another unnecessary exer- into the cold stormy night, a small The play explored the effects of a

accused the in a black man. Widely moments are hindered by need- cise in conventional, script develop- group of spectators the Peters clash between utter despondency

his regarded for previous explo- less addition of typical, melodramat- ment. Building were being well rewarded and extreme (in this case, comically

of of rations inner city chaos, as exem- ic devices. Instead remaining Thus, Rosewood is a momen- for their braveiy against the weath- exaggerated) optimism.

the with a the for the The final of the plified by powerfully construct- powerful script, second tous film, providing a unique inter- er. Everyone came out oppor- play evening was

ed 'N The half the movie reads like the work of of "The Root of All Boyz Hood, Singleton of often an pretation of an event which tunity to see some Squares" written and shifts his lens to the swampy out- adventure, as it follows the escape American history has conveniently Laurier's own talented writers, and directed by Sterling Lynch

back of central Florida. Thig is a of a small group of women and chil- ignored. However, its attempt to directors and actors, showcased in Sam Varteniuk. This was the high-

gripping, emotional drama, but its dren. For example, the highly display the triumph of the human the Plays of March, which were light of the night for me. Both Lynch

is constrained of and potential by a-nuin- appropriate use traditional, spiri- spirit is weakly fabricated, an put on by The Laurier Theatre Varteniuk were hilarious; much

is distraction from the action ber ofunnecessary scenes. tual hymns increasingly replaced annoying a highly Collective. of was absurd, but they

The first half of the film is the out- by highly unsuitable composi- provocative story. Fortunately, the The night was made up of three pulled it ofF perfectly. Unlike a lot of

it in tion of and standing, although indulges unoriginal, "suspenseful" subject matter is so appalling, original plays and a guy with a gui- student writing, their play wasn't orchestra music. visual some stereotypical analogies. Singleton's images so unre- tar (Gordon Bolan), The first play overpowered by its hidden agenda

the it that such Singleton blatantly distinguishes Of course always seems essen- lenting inconsistencies can was "Buckets and Mops" written by (although, it did come through loud

collective and of tial to have hero, be tolerated. and and directed and peace prosperity a larger-than-life Sawatzky Grondin, dear),

Rosewood with the filth-laden, played here by the highly talented by Beverly Grondin. Set In a coffee AH in aB, the Theatre Collective

obscenity-riddled bigotry of the Ving Rhames, who miraculously shop, it was that brand of 'realism' put together a great night erf enter-

which I generally find very depress- tainment and I only wish that more

ing but it was well acted and well ofthe Laurier community had come

received by the audience. out to show theirsupport

The musical guest, Gordon The members of the collective followed Bolan, with a very informal deserve a lot of credit for persever- for and yet very entertaining acoustic ing despite small audiences, and K' tz. set of some original material and keeping alive a place for student-run

some Dylan covers. drama and original entertainment at

After a short intermission and a Laurier.

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22 March 19,1997 theCord {Entertainment) A pocket A sentimental

full of indies look at 'Jedi'

TIM DURKIN in and forces one to listen to what he CAESARMARTINI

Cord CORD ENTERTAINMENT has to say. While music Ls always Entertainment

there Ls his it's the final installment of The MTV mentality is so ingrained entertaining, no denying Well, here, with Riches' the Star Wars Trilogy, in our culture today that it is hard to is music a message. legendary the was Ls hard to but as a released on big screen once imagine what it like before the style pin down,

existed listener know that it takes lot more. Rather than bore with a pre-packaged wonder bands you a you

with that much lot of details, I'll a few words en masse. Saturday night at the of guts to play songs just say the theater of the recital hall provided a glimpse of the passion, about experience

Gee took Star Wars THANK GOD that cartists who arc not made for TV. but Riki the stage next witii Trilogy. released the into rather tlie artists who make music liis violin in tow. Barrett Lawrence Lucasfilms trilogy can't believe how much 1 because they must. It's in their handled the bass and guitar portion theaters. 1

too blood, and its all they know. of the show for the most part, and enjoyed seeing it again. I was

them child, Headlining the show was local the performers fed off each other young to appreciate as a the She! Is a combination of and it's amazing to see movies as guitar wizard Neufeki who wonderfully. Gee,

both Cohen and they were meantto be seen. touring across Quiada in support of Leonard Johnny for of the Jedi is his new album "Call Of the Wild." Cash, has been touring tliirty Return probably my

the three soloist, Neufeld and has a favorite of movies, mainly largely an acoustic years certainly presence

who about him that tells he's at because Luke isn't such a dorky is an energetic performer pos- you

home the His latest effort, whiner like he was in the first two. sesses amazing control of the.guitar on stage.

talcs of of is "But Uncle Owen..." Yeah, shut and the stage. His songs are a tliirty year career, "Lonely up the Ls and learn how to the Force, traveling, and the music really City Cowboy." Although focus use

classic there is a of Luke. The added scenes were fan- reflects a country that gets more country, range the tastic. I only wish that they had shot expansive and intricate the more sounds here including very ulp-

John Wlllams "You Name," and the and shown footage of the original you travel it accom- py are My

for lonesome heart "Downtown Last ending, where Lando fails to panied Neufeld a few songs on script's the Death Star explosion in bass, and brought an equal amount Night" escape

and It of time. That would've been interest- of showmanship professional- was a truly great night

and foremost, the to ism to the stage. Williams also music. First per- ing see. can't another movie album. This of formers were notch musicians I imagine (or PHOTO appears on the type top

of that would be more rare it a and entertainers who really cared set movies) music is today, making joy FILE

about on a show. If for a re-release. Twenty to hear and see performed. putting good appropriate Return of the Jedi benefits from a lower dork factor. ail the later, Star Wars is still exciting, noticeably Aaron Riches opened the show you stripped away mysticism years still worldwide his "that makes star's what air, fresh, and generates with some songs off of debut they you is like re-liv- who I'm What sets these movies apart is of the Star Wars Trilogy "Over The l ight Post." In setting the would be left with those can appeal. Though sure nostalgia movie event. If the the fact that of a a monumental made. a in special they are only part ing mood of the evening. Riches' play and those who are All of plays large part that, better than with and likable a fan, see it now, while you these are all the real deal, and effects still as or larger story, strong you're go acoustic set provided some truly guys are good

' characters I am this at still have the chance. to watch a of 90s movies, never (yes, aiming moving songs, including Typical it Wets an absolute pleasure majority mind 70s The re-release Shade Of Grey," and the stirring them perform. flicks. Independence Day).

"Unkind." His voice Ls so achingly

emotional that it draws the. listener \X/ilcffine Student My Neighbour Ned Employment

Wildfire is hosting a 40 hour firefighter course

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For times, dates, location, tuition fees and 705 857 3354 registration call Wildfire at PHOTO

RLE b'g ROBIN WHITTAKER f's» Cord Entertainment

Wilfs this Led Hometown heroes My Neighbour Ned are set to play Friday. rock by exuberant frontman Mike Busseri, the trio brings their intelligent to a the Laurier population that has been kind to them in the past. Rounding out

and about lesbian group are bass player Christine Bird Matt Woodley. Singing

Dave Matthews — or senior citizens and the like, you may hear echoes of

not. You'll you may likely enjoy. taks a took aroua-d!

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i LONDON $ 449 AMSTERDAM $ 549 THE : NO CASH VALUE Hfl VSPIIDEO PARIS $ 499 DUBLIN $ 529 WITH THIS COUPON Wendor FRANKFURT $ 529 Date restrictions apply. j RENT ANY MOVIE i

AT REG. PRICE ! Court Mall | Campus GET AN OLD MOVIE "TRAVELGUIS j University & Phillip Streets . { Waterloo, Ontario EXPIRES APRIL 30/97 Union Wilfrid Laurier U. 886-8228 112 I (519)746-2578 I Student Building, Students I I Owned and operated by the Canadian Federation of I 1

theCord March 19,1997 23 (Entertainment;

Ear Candy

Hits," only three didn't make the UK but like One rendition of Miami return the favour by adding lyrical ies. Good, a time piece. a 1990's a the the Gun" and top This and quality of could be reminded of Pseudo Echo Sound Machine collection. There support on songs "Bop forty. show that label "Knee Standout cuts are the these singles to through the whole thing, remember is a total lack of diversity and imagi Deep."

Nuinan a one-hit wonder would be both and classic "Atomic Dog" (fea- their "Love an Adventure" album? It nation in the song writing updated unfair. Actually, "Premier acoustical Coolio) and "Flashlight," terribly had a couple of good songs on it: the arrangements. turing Busta Hits" makes a strong case for The older the less The album is reasonable which Rhymes, catchy. you got recording guest-stars the of elec- and 01' Bastard. Numan's place in history liked Then to and mention should Q-Tip, Dirty you it. it was banished an honorable hits tronic music as a link from the listen Dalton for Unlike most greatest pack- Various Artists "don't to any more pile" go to guitar player Roger Kraftwerk, Brian Eno and David If like that recycle old materi- Lost Highway Soundtrack never to be heard from again. Don't helping the cause. you ages simply retro- Bowie to the later work of but "Where You the CD sin- al, this album is as much a Nothing/lnterscope care for it now, boy oh boy was it Do Go," buy Mode, Soft and deserves look at Clinton's classic funk Depeche Cell, I hate soundtracks generally. good while it lasted. gle. Otherwise this album spective Pet as it is a testament to his ongoing The Shop Boys. They're usually lame collections of This album makes you wish you no mercy. Funkin' Like artists, Joel musical influence. "Greatest many synth-pop outtakes with little or no thematic were twelve again so you could like Lynn

Hits" remarkable tribute to one Numan the to it could not be is a explores question/prob- relation to the movie or each other. it. Not say that of human in an increas- all: of music's most underrated fig- lem feeling Every now and then, though, a real- enjoyed today. Not at for certain pop recommend it. world. The best ures, and I highly ingly technological ly excellent soundtrack comes along someone could slip it on during Brad Miller about like "Are 'Friends' and shakes conviction. unbeknownst to the thing songs my cynical retro-night Electric" and "Cars" isn't the elec- crowd. Listen for it'll be the "Singles" was one such soundtrack; it, one tronic chill of the music, but the sti- is like 'Trainspotting" was another; this is everyone faking they remem- fled human emotion constantly not. The "Lost Highway" CD starts ber it. to free itself from the of Tim Durkin struggling promisingly enough with an edit machine: in "Are 'Friends' Electric" David Bowie's "I'm Deranged," Numan his affected robotic excellent drops and moves quickly into the

voice for a few moments to breath- "Perfect Drug" by Nine Inch Nails. George Clinton hurts I'm Hits lessly whisper, "It and Oh yeah, don't believe the hype Greatest Funkin' Records 10ne1y...1 missed you tonight...you see about how this is basically a Nine Capitol meant everything to me," only Inch Nails album: "The Perfect Fans of P-Funk will agree that you

has been to be drowned out by his own syn- Drug" is Trent Reznor's only fully George Clinton always thesizer. Great Stuff. The CD ahead of his time, and is one of the Gary Numan/Tubeway Army formed song here. really Lauren Stephen creative influential musi- Premier Hits belongs to Angelo Badalamenti most and

cians of the This collection Beggars Banquet and his lame, arty, pseudo-jazz. century. Funkadelk the airy synth-fest Badalamenti's instrumentals (as No Mercy of remixed Parliament, Although closest be and Clinton hits is a sonic "Cars" was the Gary well as Barry Adamson's) may Self-Titled George to hit in music in BMG that showcases Numan came having a fine as background a masterpiece he constant CD Ariel Hernandez, Clinton's original and North America, was a movie, but foregrounded on they Marty Cintron, production charts for Gabriel better innovative funk on the UK single seem rather pointless. As for the and Hernandez, style. presence

deliver Ice Cube and about five during the late sev- rest of the album, the cartoon known to you as No Mercy, Rappers Digital years of who have built enties and early eighties. In fact, spookiness of Marilyn Manson and to fans as promised on their self Underground,

P-Funk the tracks on "Premier - most eighteen German metal band Rammstein titled album no mercy. In careers using samples,

find this album, or pales in comparison to the genuinely cases, you will

the CD "Where Do You Go" in scary "Eye" by Smashing single

at local Pumpkins. Actually, Manson's cover the dance section your

You" is well record I recommend of "I Put A Spell on store. leaving

done, but it's less bewitching than it there.

Go" the Jay Hawkins original.You'll Major hits "Where Do You and

the "Please Don't are main- have to wander a long time on Go," very

"Lost Highway" to find the few good stream dance. We will hear them in until tracks. There's too much mediocrity the TUrret on Thursday nights

end then be off here torecommend it. the of term, they'll to

Both tracks Lauren Stephen the archives. are catchy and demonstrate the potential of the

trio's vocal abilities. The harmony is

decentand the lyrics are moderately

the interesting given curre

nt trend in dance music.

the album Thenwe get to the rest of

- filled with generic lyrics and

machine-shop generated harmony. USED CD OUTLET

The Trash Can Sinatras Tracks like "Kiss You All Over," "My

Promise to You," and "Don't Make A Happy Pocket Without You" sound like Go! Discs Me Live

Their music is the stuff of the eight- 90210 throw-aways, or better yet -

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24 March 19,1997 theCord pgMamgag

and 2 bedroom unit. located 30 seconds on the and goals. The Essay Service, 4 Collier St., Suite SERVICES living room, bathrooms, laun- program your

Bricker Ave. harder work, the better the 201, Toronto, Canada, M4W IL7. dry facilities, full size freezer. 5 min. away from campus on you bottle with CALL: FAX: walk to Licensed. Rent negotiable. Contact Jenny at results. One 500 (416)960-9042. (41^ Support Centre/Drop-in campus. gram

how to use booklet is $68 tax incl. 960-0240. K-W Sexual Assault Support Centre/ $250/person. Available May 1. First 883-9582. months. Call to schedule view- Will last 3to 3 172 Matt Drop-in group. Women sexually come first serve a PRINCETON REVIEW TREVOR@884-3189. Sublet at 886-1411 or Bill at 885-1915. assaulted as teens/adults, second ing. Call Summer 2 full and fourth Tuesday monthly. May 1 to August 28. 5 rooms, O/OlfTC* the $185 Get edge on Location: Emmanuel United Church, Looking for Roommate bathrooms, laundry, parking. tVENJo 5."

walk to UW. CMAI. MCAI. USMLE, Albert and $28:Vmonth, 1 + utilities, 3 min. WLU, corner of Bridgeport. year, beginning May and Call Susan @ 883-9043. Club LSAT GRE. Dynamic 571 - 5 min. walk to call TREV Lyric Night Time: 1- 3 p.m. More info: 1, campus, and events, instructors, small interactive classes Ql2i @884-3189. Birthday parties special

First Time Advertised Cash rebates, free food and prizes. (15 students max.). Call 1-800-2-

house with 4 Book event now. REVIEW or www.Review.com. $$ TAX REFUNDS $$ Super Summer Sublet!! Very clean bedrooms, your bedroom house 168 2 blocks from lots of Call 749-2121. Need cash? Over 18? If so, then 2 rooms in 4 at WLU, laundry LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE PREP close, clean, dishwasher, big backyard you're entitled to a GST Credit and Lodge St. Very big parking, with deck, etc. Available 1, TURRET OUTDOOR ADVENTURE Spring/Summer classes are now an Ontario Tax Credit worth several rooms and parking! Very Cheap! May last week of Course formats from + Call @ (416) SERIES saw giveaways forming. range hundred dollars. Tax preparation Call Gagan at 885-5360. $310 utilities. Craig weekends 417-0722. Parachute Jumps, Kayaking, and 20 to 80 hours. 20 hour services done by an experienced

available for $195. Richardson - reasonable SummerSublet 329 Street. Rafting. Congratulations Kari are professional at a cost. Spruce SUMMER SUBLET McMullen, Steve Williams, and Since 1979. www.prep.com or Call STAX at (519) 725-7350 right dean. Partly Furnished. Five min- Michael 1-800-410-PREP. WLU. Five rooms avail- 5 bedroom, 2 bath, utilities included, Kuan. [email protected] now . utes from

Call doors This Week is able. Laundry Facilities. patio to deck, clean, laundry, Upstairs ... Thursday . WILDERNESS TOURS Sarah at 886-2918.Rent parking, furnished, available May 1. giveaway, Word Processing Service Michelle or Accicicnc QATCQ CLASSIFIEDS RATcb Great 5 minute walk to WLU. over $1200 in rafting and bungee Reports, resumes, letters, mailing Negotiable. price, 52 Noecker St. Call 669-4646. prizes. The EXPORT canoe up for lists, form letters, etc. on recycled the STUDENTS: Summer Sublet. to grabs, guess number of cans paper. Laser printing, dictaphone. May August utilities APARTMENTS AVAILABLE and take it home Friday (currently 30 words or less $5 equation editing, graphs and charts 1997. Laundry, parking, 31 -60 words $8 Five 5 and someone within 2?). available. Audrey 884-7123. included. Rent negotiable. Bachelor apartments. 2, 3, 4, Utilities LAURIER this each word Over 60 .10 - 6 bedroom units. included, come rafting rooms available for group or sin- Hey 1 with 10-11th NON-STUDENTS: OPPORTUNIIIES gles. Ixtcated 5 minutes from WLU furnished, laundry, parking. Sept. spring WLUSU, May 30 words Or less $7 746- from Summer sublets from high water discount weekend. on King. Please call Jill/nff@ $300. -60 $10 build- friends, deals on 2 31 words - inclusive. Clean Hound good Coaches Needed 7123 or 888-0627. $150 $250 up food, and accomoda- each word over 60 .10 WATERLOO MINOR SOCCER needs ings, great locations. Call 669-4646. days rafting, ADS: Cost $190 for a killer SEMI-DISPLAY coaches and assistant coaches. Do Summer Sublet: Great Location! tion. approx.

TWO WANTED weekend. Loads of discounts add .50 have the time and talent to 3or 4 bedroom sec- ROOMMATES group you 1, 2, apartment loads of fun! Contact Turret Placement forms are available and Bricker. Three girls looking to share a and share from May to July? Please call onds to WLU, King spa- Cord Students Five bedroom house. Two Rob Cresswell x3582 or in the office, 578-9680. Furnished, 2 bathrooms, laundry, cious Manager Phone-in and avail- Mike McMahon WLUSU x3375. Union - at Building. parking. May 1 Sept. 1/97. Rent fridges, laundry parking rt« i.i orders call 884-1970 $275/ mo utilities. Call An adrenalin pumpin to start can (ext. EMPLOYMENT $200 + utilities. Non Smokers. Call able. plus way Michelle @ 725-3706. the summer! Round the roomies! 3564). Fax orders can be sent 746-6179. Tanya or up to 884-7723. Artist Needed (519) jirif tf*ATinhlAt Deadline for or of Fee 2or 3 ROOMMATES WANTED SUMMER SUBLET tUUuAIIuNML placements To paint a portrait a building. 1, cancellations IS at to 6 wanted for Tuesday is negotiable. Please phone 883- 2 girls looking to share a spacious. Up people summer with TIME CONSTRAINTS?? 12.00 p.m. 9274. clean and non-smoking 5 bedroom 1997: May to August. House for Writer's block? Can't find the words The Cord is responsible house. 5 min. walk to W.L.U., 3 driveway, garage, and big backyard. incorrect insertion. util- or the research materials you only one Action Window Cleaners bathrooms, large common room, $160 per room (negotiable) plus right WRITE: Custom $280/mo. ities. Call Christine at 883-9493. need? We can help! Need a job? Window cleaners and parking, laundry facilities,

cold callers needed to work in +utilities. May '97 - '98 lease. Call

Townhouse for rent. Suitable for Waterloo and Cambridge this sum- 746-9896.

5 Parkdale mer. Call Doug at 725-9825. group of students, plaza

20 walk May-September Summer Sublet area 12 monlh ™ The Australian Employment I 7 bedroom house with park- to Launer. $26(Vmo. + utilties. Call m & Travel Guide Large J leave LJ in and laundr facilities. $160 - 746-7896 after 6 or a § y p.m. AUSTRALIA-EMPLOYMENT Call 9 ft Student jobs, teachers, professional, skill trades, $220 per room. (519) 725-9679, message. 112 ft Working/adventurehols, 18+, M/F, single/married acl-fnr RraH ■ » ■ ■ • Detailed & travel instructions m. M legal employment _ ft apartmentavailable 208-725-0311 » 3 Bedroom Apartment. 10 month Affordable 2 bedroom basement

*Attention Sociology Students* lease for full term, close to both uni- apartment near WLU. May to May versities. furnished. lease. $220 month each Wanted - SOC 321 (Research Partly Very per plus utilities. in Suit Methods I) tutor for fall 1997. Call clean. Laundry facilities, share Cool summer.

725-8178and ask for Diana. $9/hr. $335Anonth, all inclusive. Call Steve: 2 students or a couple. Or single

886-0672. grad at reduced rate. Phone 886-

College Pro Painters 4833. Leave message.

Trainer, painters and cold callers SUMMER SUBLET RENT needed for the summer. Earn $3000 Bachelor Apartment. Private HOUSE FOR

bath. Utilities included. 5 bedroom WLU. • - near Spacious $7000 and learn great skills, kitchen and Jk baths, 2 sundecks, 2 I /V !«, Please call 1-800-465-2839or Mike 5 min. from WLU. $250tnonth. 886- rooms, 2

& 1 in Waterloo: 883-9422. 7466. fridges, stove, washer dryer. May I I I

month each ft 112 to May lease. $275 per q BUSINESS Amazing Summer Sublet! plus share utilities. Phone 886-4833. 11l

3 min. walk to WLU. 6 rooms avail- Leave message. nnnnrrntkUTtCO 11 CJose UrrUH / UNI to able individually or together. to

bus routes. Tons of parking and Summer Sublet

- available, Business Opportunity storage! 2 1/2 bathrooms. May Ist May thru August, 4 rooms

Call 247 Hazel St., seconds from cam- ft Fast food restaurant for sale in Aug. 31st. Rent negotiable.

747-9384. $185 a month, all inclusive Waterloo near universities. Asking Cheryl at pus, 080. must ll $49,900. Contact Stan Rektor (519) Free parking, laundry, | 578-7300. 3 RoommatesWanted see. Call Jake or Dave at 886-5843.

For a 4 bedroom apartment in 11 lini/mim IAfAUTCn ImJ HUUSINb bedroom house. 12 month lease. VVnlw

WANTED Location-Location-Location ing. Newly renovated. 1 1/2 minute USED BIKE

Albert to buy a used mountain Summer sublet available frorp May walk to WLU (264 St.). Looking Phone 746- bike. Doesn't have to be of the - top 1 August 31. 3of 5 bedroor&s in a $275/month + utilities. line. Call Renee@ 747-3277. 112 house across from Peters Building, 8097.

together or Laundry, separate. £/}£) O/l/ C ( VYsV JjL-) for 27 - rent. l/fi garage. Big backyard great for Tug 3 bedroom 1/2 duplex I

walk to of War, Red Rover and other sum- Peppier St, 15 min. WLU, facil. and Girls mer fun (Slip n' Slide not included), close to everything! Laundry Guys

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Guaranteed of 10 HOUSE FOR RENT Summer Sublet! weight gain of in 2 months or loss Great walk to Need 2 students, preferrably non- pounds weight price, campus, great 4 14 in 3 months. Dependent location. 8 bedroom house, kitchen smoking, to sublet 2 rooms in a pounds

theCord March 19,1997 25 braincandy

control psyche-

sam varteniuk

i found thebeast within me

a delic it was cowering and wimpering in comer

close to tiie appendix

it peed itself to see mo

i took pity on it

itwas sortof cute mind-

in a poetic way

i coaxed it out

told it i was a big time Hollywood producer

be star" "you're gonna a wave i said

and it i taught puns

and method acting and a song or two Darren

now it doesn't cower or whimper

controls its bladder quite well

it asks all the time about being a star

a Winfield and once in while i'll let it sing

(i say it's an audition)

it waits day and night for its big break

i sometimes hint that deal's a big brewing Darren Winfield

but there never is Watch the colours float by and it'll never make it big

We follow but can never reach them

because, see:

i've learned to control the beast within we're just not fast enough.

Red, blue, pink, stiver

every colour Imaginable

except black

black A day of horrors: somehow I don't see any and white, I don't think. I see white

maybe It's hiding from m Campaigning in the Concourse O.K. I'll count to ten then come find you

I walk along the street Lauralea Fox Lauralea Fox and feel the strings attached to my February 12th found me sneaking quietly up the stairway behind the Second Cup and

the into the Concourse. slowly peering around corner numerous body parts being pulled Election My heart stopped in terror, my worst fears had been realized. day was the great puppetmasters want me to go h&re, upon us.

Vote for this vote for that person; the pleases were never ending. Innocent person, no there, six all different students were being accosted by campaigners at a a time, offering a

reward to support their candidate. no over there

wanted to be late for I had to cross the I took a deep breath; unless I class, I have no will. do it. in the Concourse. My knees were weak, I didn't know if I could From somewhere

mind voice "Luke, the Force will be with The back of my came Obiwan s saying, you." I look at the flowers

think of "Too bad name isn't Luke." I it's now only response I could was, my shrugged, they dancing and smile at me or never. stop

back, walked out of with head held 1 Straightening my 1 my hiding spot my high. and say "How are you today, young sir?" attention to be elsewhere. feet left until the was in luck, everyone's appeared Twenty

I make it! door, the course was clear, was going to Just fine, I reply

Out of the of I saw one of them turn Then my hopes were dashed. corner my eye

The distance between and the door too and the flowers go on dancing and make its way towards me. me was great;

I'd been caught. asked that I to vote in today's election?" it me, its telling me "Are you planning eyes

what answer was. Luckily, I was only handed a would receive a spiel no matter my I sing and laugh Obiwan had been Perhaps the Force pamphlet and sent on my way. Perhaps right. as the rainbow colours float with by truly was me. fatalistic sound. It the sound of Then the sound reached my ears, a horrible, was

worst it was straight for me. I rushing bodies and stomping feet, and of all, heading

had kind of chemical the exact I and swallowed hard. It was as ifthey some signal indicating sing laugh

deer in the a rabbit in the snare; there was no position of their prey. I was a headlights, as the rainbow colours float by I turned to face captors. escape. I was doomed. slowly my

if hadn't froze at the sound of them, I could have broke and ran for the Perhaps I and I fly towards the clouds to become abandoned and had Jedi the better of The Force had me, I no door, but my fear got me.

soul. one of the puppeteers. mind tricks to save my

free of accosters. I was covered in stickers and but- At long last I clawed my way my made back to class to lick wounds, tons from head to toe. As I slowly my way my my

that I had a full of pencils, highlighters, suckers, only consolation was now bag pens,

stickers and best of all, chocolate.

the Concourse that day, for fear that this time I wouldn't be I never crossed again

life. Election day, huh? More like the Lord of the Flies, civilized. able to escape with my

26 March 19,1997 theCord (Drain canou) Meaner The Beasts ofthe Lonely

Wood Robin Whittaker

Who knew why Rose couldn't think for herself? She was a bright

full wit and Brad but initiative. woman, of charm, thought; no Hominid's

No free-will. She just was.

and fresh. What he said Brad was strong-willed, strong-minded, strong-hearted, went

meant and what went was what he wanted. Their jaunt through the forest Friday night

took Brad's of everything to Rose, and nothing much to Brad. The turns they were turns,

the the brown home the these were course. The musty old shack on left' wet- on right: Revenge interesting for Brad, and misquotes in the mist for Rose. She didn't care: and she wouldn't

even remember why. Robin Whittaker

him. a man of letters M- Something about a drug inspired Presented cordially by (likely

D). Carcinogenic drugs are making me high.

rolls of sod and startled often other Gallivanting aimless down the moss, by a rodent or Asbestos-ridden foam is making me cry.

meaner beast of the wood. Andall 1 see above me

there leave Rose ignored and Brad changed direction. Faster, swifter, was something to Are the promises that shove me

behindand neither remembered: Brad couldn't Rose didn't. Into the walls created at my sides.

Shift over some more. A noise to be ignored.

And run they did, and out of the forest and onto the gravel road: straight forever. Now Übiquitous friends won't leave me be. she but she fol- Brad couldn't turn. And Rose followed incessantly. Didn't care who was, When all I ask is to be set free. lowed.

But all that doubtsurrounds me and shadow in Oh it's cold! A Brad turning, seeing a pursuit. God, knife, no gun, no Like confounded outer-boundaries blade raised high! Must go faster.

And now I only ponder what I see. Butwhat if?

Brad stopping. what I've Do you appreciate gone through? Rose evaporating. view? In my do you not see my point of the shadow. eyes Rose appearing as

So when I ask above you quaintly Brad and the Shadow-Rose struggling; the knife, no gun, no blade raised high

If I'm devilish Brad's head. but hear himself. orsaintly He screams, can't

Will in riddles without Remember something. you answer me

clues? Brad breaking free.

Brad turning.

the lake I hurl down. Robin Whittaker Brad running fast. Sweating. Smelling. Tossing. Into myself

Turning intothe forest The sounds around the brown-crown

Turning into blackness. frowns abound. v sssssssssm

Rose beside him. He's relieved all over. When all the streams recede L

Into the woods with rodents and other creatures ofthe And ask to believe meaner night. you me • Radio

Rose Brad it • evaporating stopping. Panting. I'll shake my withered skull and pass Television

• no raised Advertising Shadow-Rose grapples above Brad's headwith the knife, gun, no blade high. round. • Print Journalism Remember something. • Photojournalism

Brad is stabbed. And starts. • Amidst the mire I toil pensively. Broadcast Journalism

Rose cares not "Remember the hands." Rose yet says evaporates. noise shall or No you'll hear, nor motional you With your current degree, diploma sig- nificant work related The hands. The hands. The hands. The hands!! The hands!!! Oh, yes!!! experience, you're see. almost there! Brad looks his hands. at Loyalist College in Belleville offers My bones become encrusted you the Media Studies Fast Track Preparation Awaking. Relieved all over in Dr. Franklin's office. Eat marrow like it's mustard my program. "What made hollar knowl- you so?" You can add to the abilities and when 1-0-3. And rememberme you are have and the edge you already acquire

skills need to in the you get a job ever- expanding media industry.

The Media Studies Fast Track Preparation

program is an exclusive, intensive, seven- I 1 week hands-on taken in training program

May and June. We offer excellent indus-

try-trained faculty and state-of-the-art facilities in Media i our Emerging to Please. Technology Centre. This allows you

enter the fast track of your chosen pro-

to gram fully up speed. You can get your

college diploma in just one calendar year!

For more information about this special

contact: Save and the readers. program, ■ yourself masses of craving

We're lookingfor someone to replace me,

I I is and hope that person you.

the of the Cord 'ontasP Remember, manners are everything! Be polite and fill out the appropriate forms in offices

Office of Graduate Studies

Loyalist College

P.O. Box 4200

Belleville, ON KBN 589 i Tel: (613) 969-1913, ext. 200 Thank or [email protected] you. http://www.loyalistc.on.ca

theCord March 19, 1997 27 Full flauoyr. Less irritation.

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Health Canada advises that smoking

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