Sep-Oct 2016 1

These are the people, sorry.

Sep-Oct 2016 1

Officers and Committee Members

CHAIRMAN Matt Nichols ...... 07989 601774

VICE CHAIRMAN Pete Hart ...... 0117 9372611

TREASURER Vickie Tubb ......

COMPETITION SECRETARY Paul Parker ...... 01275 843478

SECRETARY Paul Hemmings ...... 0117 9566045

MEMBERSHIP SECRETARY Zoë Tooth ...... 01454 329231 49 Bowling Road, Chipping Sodbury BRISTOL BS37 6EP

MAGAZINE EDITOR Scott Boulton ...... 01454 852959 PRESS & PUBLICITY Kate Boulton ...... 01454 852959 159 Long croft, Yate, BRISTOL BS37 7YN

SOCIAL SECRETARY Andy Laurence ...... 07825 953858

WEBMASTER & PRESIDENT Allen Harris ...... 07970 198718

AWARDS SECRETARY Dave Greenslade ...... 07966 540842

LEAD MARSHAL Mike Cole...... 07980 416075

CMSG REPRESENTATIVE Mark Benstock ...... 01454 311712

ASWMC REPRESENTATIVE Mark Chater

CHILD PROTECTION OFFICER Richard Marsh ...... (after 6pm) 07786 068830

COMMITTEE Chris Dymock ...... (after 6pm) 0117 9394265 Chris Buckley ...... 07946 482169 Ady Taylor ...... 07957 545432 Mark Tooth ...... 01454 329231

www.bristolmc.org.uk

______In_This_Issue______

Page 4. Chairman’s Chat Matt’s latest thoughts and insights.

Page 6. Llandow Track Day Thoughts and photos from our 2nd track day at Llandow Circuit.

Page 8. HSCC 70s Roadsport Season 2 Matt Nichols tells us about his 2nd season racing his TVR 3000M.

Page 13. Membership Renewal Form

Page 15. The Only Way Is Up Read about Andrew Bisping’s year in the WAMC sprint and hillclimb championship.

Page 20. Drive By Chris gets an unexpected call into the boss’s office.

“We Are One” Chairman’s Chat by Kiss

ollowing our extremely busy period over Not that the track was full very often. Driving F the summer September has provided a standards were also once again extremely high comparatively quiet time in terms of events. and so we will definitely be organising another However, although the volume did undoubtedly one of these events next year. We’ll also get drop off the quality remained reassuringly high. the date in the diary much sooner to give more of you an opportunity to book time off work. Take Wiscombe Park for instance, an event that Oh and did I mention there was cake. Thanks was once again oversubscribed both days (the to everyone who came along, top people all of popularity of this hill really is something to you. admire). It was also in safe hands with our clerking team of Paul Parker and Tony Streeting Looking ahead and depending on when you taking care of proceedings on Saturday. We read this edition of Driving Mirror we will soon were very well represented competitor wise be venturing into the world of car trials with with Dan Trotman (Lotus Elise), Trevor both the Fedden and Allen taking place in McMaster (Toyota MR2), Sandy Smith (Mazda November. The Fedden requiring the usual MX5), Terry Baker (Toyota Starlet), Ian Barnes ground work preparation beforehand as well as (Mazda MX5), Anthony Shearman (Ford Focus), Cat Clark (Locost 7), Luke Trotman (Mallock MK18B), Chris and Ross Stone (Porsche 911), Andrew Hurle (Sylva Pheonix) and finally Dave Greenslade and Simon Clemow (Force PT) all battling within their respective classes. Most making a full weekend of it. Very well done to everyone involved, including you if you made the trip down to view or help out in any way.

Step forwards three and half weeks and twenty intrepid owners along with a varied selection of help on the day. Both are rated highly amongst cars plus additional drivers ventured over the the sporting and classic trialling communities as bridge to take part in our second annual mid- we always manage to set up and run two week Llandow Track Day. What a great day out superb events. One being particular specialised as well. Following a humorous briefing that also with cars that appear to defy gravity, the other managed to make clear what would and would covering over 70 miles, north and south of not be tolerated out on track, proceedings Bristol, with quite frankly cars that survive a lot soon moved past two groups of cars to an open of abuse. As always anything you can do to pit lane arrangement. This really is every circuit assist is massively appreciated. driver’s dream because lap after lap can be enjoyed for up to ten cars at a time where as Time to time it is in my nature to reflect on one comes in another is able to go straight out. where the club is and although faced with

4 challenges of securing venues, keeping dates firm and any usual on the day concerns, I have Club Nights to say we appear to be in very good shape. What I think I take most comfort from is that 1st November our membership remains strong with new folk joining each month, normally with a plan or Club Night ambition to compete. But the thing is if that 6th December plan doesn’t quite work out then it’s still OK to be a BMC member as there is plenty more on EGM and Christmas Buffet offer. Like the recent Llandow Track day for 3rd January example being deliberately designed for anyone Club Night

Clio Cup. In parallel the search for new What a great way to potential venues for all of our core disciplines spend your birthday. (AutoSOLO, Hillclimb, Sprint and Trials) continues on an almost ongoing basis as we Happy Birthday Mark challenge ourselves in providing excellent value even if that means having to overcome environmental (we’re not welcome everywhere) and other issues.

I’ve reviewed other clubs and what they provide and it doesn’t take long when you look at larger clubs to realise that yes they are bigger, but equally operate on a national or even international basis, charge a lot more for with a DVLA licence, as opposed to MSA membership and have full time (employed) competition licence, to ensure no one was administration teams. We on the other hand unnecessarily excluded. maintain a strong membership and lay on good quality events from a dedicated and enthusiastic Our club nights also remain a great way to talk team of volunteers. Look around at our peers, car blah-blah with like-minded individuals. In plus those much smaller, and you uncover a lack October we saw two new members attend of any real structure, just one or two events ahead of competing in the Allen Trial for the per year and absence of a regular club magazine first time, welcome on board Paul Bracey and or newsletter. No BMC peeps we as a club are David German. As well as Rob Thompson who in a really great place and I am very pleased you made the effort to come along for the first time are involved, keep up the good work. after taking part in the Llandow Track day the week before. Great stuff. In Driving Mirror this month you will find out how my 2nd season in the HSCC went, the As a club we are not standing still either and Llandow track day and Andrew Bisping tells us constantly looking for new ways to develop. about his year in the WAMC championship. Two years ago we launched the Bristol MX5 Championship with no less than fifteen cars entered at the Great Western Sprint this year. Matt Nichols It doesn’t end there and we now have plans to introduce a second similar series, the Bristol

“Immortals” Llandow Track Day by Fall Out Boy

s usual it was a great day out with the Everything was great although the weather A club. wasn't what we wanted at times, it was good to get some wet track time in. After the initial drivers meeting and a few jokes from John the head Marshall. We All I can say is had a blast and more started with 15minute session times, but after please, other tracks maybe? proving we weren't a bunch of petrol headed loons we were given open pit lane status. Phil Oliver

Photos by Ady Taylor

have clearly been watching too many to the motorway. Got to LLandow in I programmes like Fast’n’Loud as I decided reasonable time, signed on, jacked up the car, to introduce some false jeopardy to the few got the wheels off, checked the pads and days before the BMC track day. The car went realised I didn’t need to change them (thanks to Bath Street Motors in Staple Hill for a new Alex and Phil). more aggressive alignment setup on the The weather was better than expected, it Monday. Then Andy let me use his garage on only properly rained for about 30 mins in the the Tuesday to do a long overdue oil change, afternoon. Track manners were generally first time for me so took longer than it good and my setup seem to be working well, should and thanks Andy for the use of the the turn in is sharper and the car feels better garage! I also thought I needed some new to me. During the rain I also discovered that I brake pads so they were ordered on Monday can drive in the rain with the top down and, if to arrive Tuesday. I forgot to add delivery it is not too heavy, as long as I stay over instructions for the pads so I then had to pick 30mph I don’t get wet, which is a result! I them up Wednesday morning when the knocked it on the head at about 1600 having depot in Fishponds opened at 0700 and run out of energy. Overall it was a great day, decided to do the pads at the circuit. The as much track time as you wanted, good front ones are a relatively simple job and people, good fun and cake, plus I didn't need those were the ones I thought needed the coat. changing. Woke up Wednesday, having packed the James Hurford night before, went to the post office, got the pads. Realised I had forgotten my coat so went back home, grabbed coat, then headed

Photos by Phil Oliver

HSCC 70s Roadsport Season 2 “Shut Up And Drive” By Rhianna

fter experiencing the baptism of fire that The first round at Combe in April soon A was last year’s introduction to circuit arrived, but not as quickly as the Great racing that included exposure to new circuits, Western Sprint one month earlier which packed grids and other cars determined to get in the way. 2016 was always going to feel different and better still the opening round was at Castle Combe. I had gone over the car during the winter and replaced gearbox seals and gaskets, fitted a new oil pump and clutch cable, fixed the gear lever, modified the sump and moved the Accusump from the scrutineer disliked cockpit location to the boot. I also included a handy in-line valve located by the gear lever. itself was only one week after getting the car The thing is except for the rolling road MOT’d. A useful shakedown none the less. session before the last round of the previous Confidence was high because this was to be season (lifting the car from 179bhp to my first time circuit racing on a circuit I was 201bhp) I hadn’t actually added any familiar with and so the first time the true performance. Mainly because funds ended up performance of the car could be properly being diverted to buying a new Bell helmet judged. Last year I was on such a steep and HANS device, the latter mandatory for learning curve that it was easy to see massive this year. I did swap from Ferodo DS2500 gains being possible after each event when front brake pads to EBC Yellow Stuff which playing the video back. felt better, but then only lasted two events per set rather than a whole season. I’m On the day itself, ably supported by Julian currently on set number three. Rainbow and Mrs N, the first indication things were going well was during the wet practice when I was overtaking the same cars that routinely overtook me elsewhere the previous year. They looked completely lost and I knew exactly how they felt (this championship doesn’t normally go to Combe). Qualifying in the end 8th from twenty-eight was a good start, especially as it put me ahead of last year’s champion, at least

8 until Folly anyway. As the afternoon another new experience, and despite trying approached the rain eased, track dried and hard in the end 17th from the thirty who we were on for a great race. I made a decent finished and 5th in class was the final result. getaway and was in fifth place going into The car did appear to be a handful and so I Quarry running with people I only ever saw actually left feeling quite pleased with 17th, in the paddock. It was pretty much now just a especially after overtaking another TVR case of run rabbit run, I did and finished 3000M that spun immediately in front as we seventh. BWY 458S could officially be classed battled for position. as a top ten car, third in class as well, a great With other commitments I missed rounds season opener. during June and July including a full Brands Hatch and Cadwell Park to re-join the boys Matt at Silverstone and one girl at Croft. Do you know that if you leave home on a Friday morning at 10:30am you arrive by 5:00pm, just as long as you don’t stop? I’d changed road car as well from the last time and unfortunately the new in-car Sat-Nav wasn’t aware of rather permanent looking local road closures and also where the entrance was. So we headed If Combe increased morale, then the next instead towards a nearby farm. Gotta love a round at the Silverstone International Trophy Sat-Nav. on the full GP circuit was about to dampen The impressive Croft Nostalgia event last spirits a bit. A dry test day on the Friday year, which included a Vulcan Bomber fly-by (booked as it was my first time driving this no-less, had shown much promise and so I format) and assisted by Julian Rainbow once was really looking forwards to the two again revealed that although disconnecting the rounds here. We were also mixed in with the front anti-roll bar had the desired affect at 50/60s equivalent championship, Historic our May Llandow sprint in scraping a class Roadsports, so had a packed grid to boot. As win. It was a disaster here at high speed had been the case in 2015 it was blue skies causing far too much oversteer. Anti-roll bar and sunshine all the way which previously duly reconnected and things were much caused the car to run hot. In preparation better thank you. beforehand I enlisted the help of Allard in However, that was in the dry, but the Gloucester who felt the alloy race rad was following day in the wet the car understeered plenty big enough but needed boxing in to everywhere and qualifying saw us back in the force air through it rather than escape middle of the pack in 18th from thirty-four, around the outside. A job they did very well. hints of 2015 again maybe. The race wasn’t Game on. any less challenging and after the rolling start,

the very near miss. Starting this time 12th (Race 1 finishing position) I went into the first right hand corner outside an Elan from the other lot. Right hand corner number two and still side by side said Elan to my right attempted to push on but the sudden burst of acceleration, whilst still on relatively cold tyres, caused the car to slide sideways, albeit safely towards the infield. Momentarily Being chased at Croft, credit: Charlie Wooding everything seemed fine but then suddenly the rear of the car gripped, bit and catapulted the Feeling confident I qualified just outside the Elan sharp left back towards me. top ten on Saturday morning and again made a decent start in Race 1, a benefit in part of Matt’s near miss with an Elan the rather leggy 3.31 LSD diff that means as others reach for 2nd gear our baby boy keeps on going strong in first, all good stuff. The 970kg, and that’s before adding fuel or me sitting in, is still way above the 600-700kg Lotus’s that tend to dominate the front of the grid. Still it is lighter than, but not as powerful as, the 911s and 240Z’s also upfront and so it goes on. Needless to say there is a great mix I’ve watched the video back countless times of cars competing out on track together. and have no idea how he missed. All I know is It would appear overall our TVR is well suited I turned left and left again to avoid the to Croft’s long home straight and fast flowing impending collision before turning right back ‘Jim Clark’ curves with plenty of time spent in towards the racing line. A quick check in the 4th gear which is where the torquey Ford mirror confirmed no one behind, the spin had Essex V6 does its best work. I held my own, caused mayhem by all accounts, and with no battled with everyone around me to finish red flags being held out I once again adopted 12th overall or 8th in our championship and my tried and tested run rabbit run approach 3rd in class. I also chatted to some of the to the line. Hanging on in the end to finish same people who had spectated last year, 10th overall, 6th in the 70s Roadsports and went out for a meal in Darlington with ten 2nd in class which yielded my first class others overnight and it has to be said had a award. Progress indeed. jolly good time. Next up was the new to me Oulton Park Next day on the Sunday I was about to Gold Cup, another fantastic event, their experience another aspect of circuit racing, biggest outside Touring Cars in fact, with a

10 test session Saturday AM, practice Sat PM and The intervening Llandow track day in race late Sunday PM, quite a drawn out affair. September provided a great opportunity to The weekend remained dry but OMG this is a test out one thing and discover another. tricky circuit to learn, a real roller coaster Before the event I lowered the front of the ride of dips, hills, blind crests and banked car by around 8mm (rear previously raised by curves. Once again we had use of the longest about the same amount) giving a nose down layout and with so much to take in I struggled stance to help with front end grip. It seemed during my first time here. I think it must be to work but I was about to uncover the real an age thing. The test session helped but issue: Me. Yes, whilst driving around the when it came to practice all I managed was a circuit scrubbing in a brand new set of wet lowly 20th out of twenty-two, a bit gutting. tyres the comically low grip levels revealed much sooner and at a slower pace what the Not being the best company overnight, I’m car was trying to do. I had already measured sure Mrs N will vouch for that, I pulled my the tightness of the LSD at 72lbs-ft which socks up for the race on Sunday and really seemed about right, so knew most likely it went for it. Another good start immediately wasn’t that. But driving at a slower speed on got me up the order and I had some cracking a set of Uniroyal Rain Masters there was battles in the first few laps with all sorts of understeer from apex to corner exit. cars including a Triumph Spitfire, GT6, and Renault Alpine A310, all before catching and I then had a Eureka moment by putting the settling in behind another, and different to the power on earlier encouraging the rear to one at Silverstone, 3000M. I went 5 secs a lap slide out, obvious to many reading this I’m faster than on the Saturday and left with a sure, but a revelation to me that corrected real appetite to return again after crossing the everything instantaneously. I had all this time line 15th overall. The video did however been waiting for the front to grip and tail go reveal more understeer costing time out of light before re-applying power mid-corner, a tighter corners despite fitting softer front front wheel drive habit brought across from springs, 375lbs down from 417lbs. my Mѐgane and Type R days. It even worked well in the 4WD Subaru Impreza WRX I ran beforehand. But in this pure bred rear wheel drive race car powering early causes the car to pivot around its axis to both lighten the steering and tighten the nose. A really nice feeling and it only took me two and half years to discover it. It is still very easy to overdo things and definitely requires a degree of nerve especial- Credit: Charlie Wooding ly in the wet. Worth it though as around Llandow, according to Harry’s Lap Timer App

anyway, it saved a whole second with most class. I’ll take that. benefit being realised at Gluepot in carrying If season 1 provided a massive learning curve greater speed back onto the home straight. at every round and a definite appreciation of So no need to spend any money on the car the standard of cars and drivers out there. (Mrs N) to make it go faster, just lose some Season 2 felt different, a pattern was weight (anyway) and grow a pair. Simples. beginning to emerge. The cars and drivers at The final round was back at Silverstone, but the front were still very much the cars and this time on the relatively short National drivers at the front. However, our TVR had circuit, which proved tricky last year in not definite strengths. Its leggy gearing suits making full use of the tall gearing. Still armed longer faster tracks, faring less well on tighter with new driving skills and a revised approach layouts. Llandow being the most extreme I duly set off with great gusto. However just case when 4th gear isn’t actually required at before we went out it rained to leave slippery all. The car clearly also needs to be driven in conditions at different point of the track and a particular way although still requiring so, as you do, whilst still on cold tyres I caution in the wet. decided to show one of the other 3000M’s What also stands out is our M Series TVR the way by overtaking him on the green flag always makes great starts gaining places at (first) lap of practice. every round, important as I begin to What he witnessed next possibly didn’t appreciate just how key that is along with impress him at all as I lost the rear at the your first lap performance. As someone who entrance of Copse and remained sideways came from sprints, qualifying is still a mystery until the exit somehow still pointing to me, as that remains the weakest link. forwards. Oversteer is OK, but there are Thanks for reading, that was Season 2 and so limits. The next corner I repeated it all again it’ll be interesting to see what we can do next impressing no-one, least of all me, to dent year in Season 3. confidence and in the end qualify just 25th from thirty-two. Rubbish. The race through was dry and so I went for it at the start, made Matt Nichols places, hung on to the main pack for a while and then successfully held off two others for 25 minutes. The result 16th overall and 6th in

Date Event 29th October Supercar Saturday 1st November Club Night 13th November Roy Fedden Sporting Trial 27th November Allen Classic Trial 6th December EGM and Buffet

“The Only Way Is Up” The Only Way Is Up (unless it’s a Sprint, not a Hillclimb) By Yazz

he seeds of my 2016 season were sown alongside Go Motorsport, T on Epynt in June last year with the Band and personal commitments? discovery that the WAMC Sprint and Hillclimb Championship, previously unknown to me, included the ‘Welsh Week- end’ of the Llandow, Llys Y Fran events in May and July, the Epynt double header and a range of events in England. It also had a class structure favouring Roxie, my Renaultsport Clio, through its inclusion of a Standard Production Class. This is essentially for cars free of modification, bar Roxie at our Chepstow AutoSOLO last year safety items, running on list 1A tyres. As a modern performance hatchback with just under 200bhp she should be reasonably Scoring was best nine rounds from nineteen, handy in that class. spread pretty evenly across Hillclimbs and Sprints so there were a good number to look Now I’ve known Roxie since new; she was at. Scoring is based on Target Times, with the my Company Car. At the time of ordering target being the previous best time by a her I said I’d never spend my own money on Championship Competitor in class. Matching such a car, doubting her prospective that would score 20 points, with 0.1 points reliability, but she ran well for those initial less for every 0.1 seconds slower. A bonus of three years. For the first time ever in dealing up to one point can be secured by beating the with a lease company their answer to the Target Time, using that same principle, so question ‘How much do you want for the car best score is 21 points. Looking at the last at the end of her lease?’ was met with a few seasons the top few competitors had favourable answer. In fact the answer worked scored an average of over 20 points per for immediate profitable resale, or as a round, so I’d need a good season to have any competition car to succeed the trusty old chance of doing well. Mighty Rover. So the piggy banks were shaken and the money found to buy her. The spread of events also highlighted regional class variations. In WAMC, ACSMC and A few early AutoSOLO and Speed events Midlands events there’s a Standard went quite well, so a little casually I sent off Production class, while in ASWMC it’s not my registration for the Championship and included and on the day of those events I’d be started to plan a Calendar. What would fit in class A3 against cars up to 2600cc and on

List 1B tyres, although retaining the normal Next up were four events in two weekends, Championship scoring methodology. I know it starting with our BMC Llandow event under would be difficult to rewind current class ACSMC classes. Finishing in the top half of structures now, but given a clean sheet of class A3 was good, although the target time paper it would be great to have greater came from a Ford Focus RS, so I was a little uniformity across the regions. It would also adrift of that which held back my points make explaining the sport to potential score. Rob Thomson kept me on my toes newcomers much easier too. again, but I finished around a second clear of him. So in late March it was time to start my season. After a day spent looking after the startline at the Great Western Sprint on the Saturday, it was time to drive at my most local event, Hullavington, the next day. Sadly after just two seasons with a track licence this would be the final event there ahead of planned MOD selloff. There were four Clios in class and after a day of close competition I pipped fellow BMC member Rob Thomson by just 0.36 seconds for the class win. There wasn’t a Target Time for this venue, so I Llys y Fran on the Sunday began with a scored the standard 19.8 points for this smiling face striding towards me across the scenario. paddock saying ‘Hello, you must be Andrew’. It was Gary Morgan running a Peugeot 206 GTi in the Standard Production Class along with fellow Merthyr Tydfil resident Lyndon Evans in his Clio 197. A season full of banter with my championship class rivals had begun. A class win on the day and my first 21 point maximum made for a good day. The following weekend took me to only my third ever Hillclimb venue and first in England, Wiscombe Park in Devon. I’ve spectated there and attended Marshal’s training reported in Driving Mirror, but never driven it. A B&B was in order and after heavy traffic on the way down on Friday afternoon a walk up the hill was possible before dusk. Oh my word, this is a serious hill. Armed with a copy

16 of some hill notes from Phil Tucker it was final practice runs also showed me the variety time to try and make sense of it. The slightly of lines taken at the exit of The Gate. In the downhill start and turn across the meadow afternoon I gradually built-up bravery and looked fine, before the slight kink where the speed to maintain full throttle into Bunny’s car goes light over Bunny’s Leap. That would Leap and trust my brain to carry more speed need approaching on exactly the right line or through The Gate. It didn’t matter how many a big accident would follow. Then the part times I told myself the course would be in which the brain didn’t want to compute. exactly the same place as it was last time, the Brake into blind right turn through gate posts brain doesn’t want to believe what the eyes with huge tree on the outside. The softer can’t see! And I couldn’t see through that looking rhododendrons actually conceal a bend. At the end of the day I was 0.35 stone wall, so falling off really wasn’t an op- seconds ahead of Lyndon to be top of the tion and Phil said The Gate was key to class-within-a class. Meeting-up with my class carrying speed through the woods. Mmmm. rivals in Sidmouth for an evening meal It’s then up through a winding semi-blind rounded-out an excellent day. section to Sawbench Hairpin and then the Chatting over breakfast the next morning straight up to the final corner, the steep with the B&B landlord revealed his son as a Martini Hairpin. Don’t brake until the stage rally competitor who’d had a large wooden barrier on the right Phil said. But impact with a concrete block at a southern that’s only just before the hairpin. More venue. The car was seriously damaged, but Mmmm. his son was convinced that wearing an FHR had saved him from a broken neck. It was a reminder that the decisions we make within the governance of our sport reach beyond the immediate ‘motor sport family’. He was one grateful and relieved Dad. Sunday was a slightly quicker version of Saturday really, getting a little faster to pick-up my second 21 point maximum of the season. So as soon as mid May I had five Photo by Alison Bisping scoring rounds completed, over half the number of rounds for a full set of nine, although there was no results table available Returning on Saturday morning the course just yet. was very slippery under the trees, so I gave myself plenty of judicious reminders to take The Wiscombe weekend also gave a plan for things steady and maximise learning. A walk dealing with a scheduling clash. Until this up the hill to watch other people take their point, competing on Epynt over the second

17 weekend in June had seemed impossible. The Ways Bridge up the new road and turns onto night of 11th June coincided with a Big Band the start of Burma Road. concert to commemorate the Queen’s 90th The Epynt Hillclimb needed more entries and birthday in the grounds of The Manor House, conversations with David, the event Keevil and I was committed to playing my Secretary brought out a constructive drums there. I could try blaming the Band’s suggestion. Maybe, with the consent of the Event Coordinator for this clash, but I didn’t Clerk of the Course, I could compete on want to look in the mirror, and couldn't Saturday and then drive straight off the top of really blame the Queen. the hill along the rest of the length of Burma Epynt is such an awesome and fascinating Road to join the public roads back to place I wanted to be there too, especially as I Wiltshire for my concert, set-up, play, had a double class win in 2015 on debut. I’ve breakdown my kit and drive back again for loved visiting Epynt since Welsh Rallies of the Sunday morning. Well my kit could stay at the early 80s. Its hillsides swoop and dip with bottom of the hill in the paddock, I could put awesome bends on smooth tarmac like a gi- a pair of shorts in the glovebox, remove num- ant tube of toothpaste swirled over the top bers and timing strut from the car and be and then smoothed with a damp finger to away; this was the essence of a plan! provide a perfect road surface. Would it work, would I be sent to The To be fair a work colleague, ex army, didn’t Tower if I missed the Queen’s Birthday see it in quite the same way having spent Concert, would I keep the car in one piece cold, wet days and nights on multi-day and get some decent results too? I’ll tell you, exercises there in its other guise as the but not until part two in the next issue of Sennybridge Training Area. Epynt has a fas- Driving Mirror. cinating but sad social history after the forced resettlement and dispersal of its occupants, Andrew Bisping 54 families across 40,000 acres of farming land during World War 2. For those familiar with rallying, the hillclimb goes from Four

Supercar Saturday, 29th of October

“I’m In Love With My Car” Drive By by Queen

“Chris, can we have a word, please?” hear from the second officer “Ja, but this storm is not the Romans, this storm is the

SS”… would hazard a guess that we’ve all In Aliens, the highly militaristic sequel to I experienced moments of dread at some Ridley Scott’s original sci-fi horror film, the time in our lives, and that certain sentences - reconnaissance team sent to check out the delivered by the right people - strike with an loss of contact with the colonists on planet icy grip despite us knowing there is no LV-426 end up losing their first engagement apparent or logical reason for any fear; it’s with the Aliens. Discovering a single colonist just fear of the unknown. survivor, a little girl named Newt, they then But, on the spur of the moment, we’re never also lose their transport ship, stranding them a hundred percent sure of course, hence the on the planet. After making their way back to apprehension, and we’re all aware of the control building and securing it against moments when a few, outwardly innocent further attack, Ridley (Sigourney Weaver’s words have a totally disproportionate impact character from the original film) is comforting – “hello sir, I’d like to discuss the manner of Newt and tells her they are there to protect your driving” being one such phrase that her and that they are soldiers, to which usually doesn’t bode well for the recipient Newt’s whispered response is “it won’t make and unlikely ending up as just a discussion… any difference”… Mind you, sometimes the reason for dread is See what I mean, chilling stuff because we not unfounded and the motion picture already know of the history involved. industry has given us some real gems to Anyhow, back to my opening comment, contemplate. A couple of phrases that I find which fortunately came from two of my utterly chilling because we’re already aware Directors and not a bunch of genocidal of the outcome to the story being portrayed, racists or someone giving me the heads up on are in some older films that I’ve watched just how deep in the poop I’ve landed myself. again recently. So despite knowing for sure that my work At the beginning of Schindler’s List there is a was just fine and that there were no scene set in a restaurant in recently occupied problems about to darken my less-than- Poland, where Oskar Schindler has invited meteoric career, it was still with a level of the relevant local Nazi leadership to an trepidation that I made my way to my evening of free alcohol and food in order to Managing Director’s office. A feeling not generate contacts for orders for his new helped any by “close the door” as soon as I enamelware business. stepped inside. During the dinner sequence two military As their next comment began with “nothing officers are discussing the Jews, and in to worry about…” I imagine my face must response to a suggestion by the first officer have been a picture, as I’m hopeless at that the Jews will be compliant to any edict looking at ease walking through the ‘nothing issued by the new conquerors as “that’s how to declare’ channel at airports, let alone being they’ve survived anti-Semitic storms summoned to the boss’ office on a Friday throughout history since Roman times”, we afternoon. 20

And at this stage of my Drive By insanity, I woes. will now backtrack quickly to last month’s It transpired my work ethic hadn’t gone saga regarding the demise of Tiddles the S- unnoticed and that “we’ve decided to take Type and my subsequent purchase of Flo the away the pressure of you running a private X-Type. car and offer you a company car” Wow, now My accident, which damaged Tiddles beyond that did come as a surprise as my role within reasonable repair, happened on my the company has never traditionally had a homeward commute on a Wednesday night company car, or car allowance, as part of the in the middle of April, and my emergency package, so this was a first. “Have a think expediency purchase of Flo the X-Type was over the weekend about what you’d like, let signed and sealed by 8.30AM on the Friday us have your choice next week and we’ll get morning of the same week as I have a 30 mile it ordered for you” Blimey, game on! round trip every day for work - a journey Which, as you can imagine, made for a very that takes public transport a life-wilting hour interesting weekend indeed. Well, for me, I’m and half in each direction to accomplish. not entirely sure Lynnette would necessarily Flo the X-Type, whilst not in the same league agree with that comment, bless her patient as Tiddles for overall quality and comfort heart… (there’s only so much you can do with a 2002 I decided to make a full list of possibilities for vintage, Ford Mondeo), was turning out to be consideration, ranging from wish list long quite a reasonable purchase and perfectly shots at the top of the page to some more adequate for my commuting for what was pragmatic selections. The company imposed very little outlay. requirements across any choice would be With my claim for uninsured losses now that the car would need to be a four or five being pursued with the MIB (Motor Insurance door and be powered by Satan’s favourite Bureau) via a specialist solicitor, life very automotive tipple, ‘Diseasel’, oh well. rapidly returned to my usual level of wage- After a Saturday spent perusing the Interweb, slave routine, and I have to admit to enjoying my first Head-V-Heart list was gaining ground Flo’s 2.1 V6 soundtrack on every journey, and contained choices ranging from the even if it ultimately lacked the punch of Mercedes C class, BMW 3 series and new Tiddles extra litre of engine capacity and near Jaguar XE at the top of the tree (as they are one hundred horsepower of additional all available with highly efficient 2 litre diesel muscle. engines), to the slightly more likely Ford So my Director’s request to join them exactly Focus and Mondeo, Vauxhall Astra and a week after my purchasing Flo could only be Insignia, and Skoda’s Yeti, Superb and Octavia about a work related matter and, as my (they do an Octavia VRS diesel, you know. work’s usually pretty much on the button, He says, desperately trying to inject a would no doubt involve me adding to my modicum of interest to the subject). never-decreasing workload and need me to With Volkswagen’s CC and Golf also added, be providing some last minute cost plan or together with Renault’s new Kadjar (well, I suchlike by the end of the day, oh joy… will be moving house a couple of times in the What actually followed was the reason for coming year and it’s a big wagon for the my comment in my previous article about a money), my list was complete. twist in the tale to my recent automotive The Sunday morning saw me at the local

Renault dealership on a Kadjar fact-finding confirmed that the car being provided would mission as, although it was unlikely to be a be in Mazda’s rather fab metallic ‘Soul Red’, particularly dynamic drive, my rarely indulged result! head-led pragmatism saw this as a cost effective and useful vehicle for the chores of commuting and lugging around the lifetime-to -collect contents of a couple of houses. The Kadjar’s surprisingly good, by the way, and would be a perfectly useful car for everything you would ever need a car for. List duly submitted on the Monday morning, it was the end of the week before my Operations Director confirmed my top of the page headliners would be considered to be a little beyond my perceived position in the company, but that everything else listed would be no problem. Not to them maybe, but I just couldn’t generate any real interest in anything on the list but the Kadjar, so I So what’s it like? Brilliant is the best one- bought myself another weekend before word answer; with a twin-turbo, 2.2 litre submitting my final choice so I could diesel engine providing 175bhp and a rather reconsider all the options. And I’m glad I did. interesting 310 lbs/feet of torque, all coupled to the slickest six speed manual gearbox I’ve By chance, visiting the local retail park on the ever used, it can really get a shufty on when Saturday morning with Lynnette, as we were you’re in the mood (0 – 60mph is quoted as Sat in Flo the X-Type discussing where we 7.8 seconds, and the mid-range acceleration is were heading next, the van parked in front of addictive) and is usually knocking on the door us moved out and across the car park a bright red saloon took my eye – hmm, that’s of 50 mpg for my daily commute. a new Mazda Six, and quite a looker. I With my Six being the top-spec version wonder… available, it comes with a full leather interior, supremely comfortable sports seats, electric As soon as we returned home, more everything, enough connectivity for any Interweb interrogation revealed the Mazda teenager, a fighter pilot-pleasing head-up Six to be highly regarded by all the display that rises from the top of the automotive magazines and considered to be dashboard on start-up, keyless locking and an absolutely cracking drive and positioned ignition and a truly perfect stop/start somewhere between the default choices of functionality (not to be confused with the Mondeo or Insignia and my original list soul destroying version that was inadvertently headliners. Further searching revealed the top of the range 175 Sport-Nav model was of invented by Fiat in the 1970s…). a similar list price and would not incur much I appreciate the aesthetics of a car are purely of a tax penalty over my other potentials; subjective, but I think the Six is something of heart rules again and job done! a looker and far more interesting than its rivals - the rather unresolved Mondeo and My choice was signed off by the powers-to- blobby Insignia - with the Soul Red paintwork be the following week and they subsequently on the very coupe-like body shape, coupled

22 with 19 inch dark alloys, making it stand out an awesome, standard-fit 13 speaker Bose in the crowd in the corporate carpark. An sound system to sort out that particular opinion that the lads in my local car wash issue. seem to wholeheartedly agree with given So, the nickname for my new beastie is? their obvious keenness to be the one to clean Using my usual parameters for my car’s it every time I rock up. The Six also seems to nicknames, given the colour and cold start draw strangers to comment and one that I’ve aural signature, it’s going to be… ‘The had recently is that the front end looks like the latest Ford Mustang and yet another was Scarlett Rattler’. that the Six also has a passing resemblance to And what happened to Flo the X-Type? A Maserati’s latest Ghibli? happy ending, as I sold her to my friend Steve in a mates-rates deal as he was looking for Downsides? Well, the steering is a little over something to replace his Ford Ka – and he’s assisted, although the feedback is spot-on and the chassis, whilst being very firm, is a fine loving his new acquisition. blend of sportiness with comfort. As Mazda Finally, another life lesson heads-up from have taken the route to using clever your author so you can avoid the same engineering technology to lighten their cars stressful situation with your partner. (the Six is typically a useful 200kg or more, It turns out you can’t put a large collection of lighter than its equivalent rivals), a lack of her treasured vintage china into a dishwasher soundproofing probably accounts for hearing and expect it to remain intact. And who the agricultural diesel rattle on cold start-up knew you also shouldn’t put vintage china (the engine is actually very smooth and quiet at anything above tickover) and reasonably into microwave ovens for the same reason… intrusive road noise that’s apparent when driving on anything other than perfect Chris Dymock. tarmac. Thankfully, the Sport-Nav version has

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