The Walk Across America For Mother Earth
Written by Taylor Mac With music by Ellen Maddow
Copyright 2010
Literary Agent: Leah Hamos Abrams Artists Agency 275 Seventh Avenue, 26th Floor New York, NY 10001 [email protected] SETTING A pantomime set. A giant map of the US in the foreground. The road. Two- dimensional. Colorful. Perhaps the white stripe on the side of the road extends into the audience as the play goes on. Perhaps it begins to zig-zag all over the theater. A cartoon world. Trap doors that come out of sky and earth. A set that rebels on its players and audience.
CHARACTERS: All genders, ages, ethnicity and body types should be represented by the cast but the play should not be cast appropriately: women can play men, old can play young, fat can play skinny, and any ethnicity can play any role. All the characters in the play are either cross-eyed, tunnel visioned, or have heavy eyelids.
All characters wear vibrantly colored foundation makeup (similar to a Kathakali look). Their faces have so much sequins and eye work it seems as if they are wearing color commedia dell’arte masks. They have extreme features: prosthetic noses, massive ears, protruding chins, and wild matted towering hair. They wear anarchist street clothes made to look like commedia dell‘arte attire (cut-off jeans meet farthingales and patch-work pantaloons, political slogan t- shirts made into corsets and bustiers, fanny-packs that look like bum-rolls and codpieces). All outfits have an element of a deranged beauty pageant. It should be colorful but the color has faded from too much use.
King Arthur: 40 to 70's. Heavy eyelids. He wears white foundation. His commedia equivalent is Sandrone.
Jimica/Key Key: One actor plays both roles. Jimica is in his 20's, is tunnel visioned, wears orange foundation, is a Flemish Belgian (Dutch speaking) and his commedia equivalent is a Zanni. Key Key is a scraggly mutt.
Kelly: 20's. He is tunnel visioned, wears pale blue foundation and his commedia equivalent is the Innamorato (Lover).
Angie: 20's. She is tunnel visioned, wears pink foundation and her commedia equivalent is the Innamorata (Lover).
Flower: 40's to 50's. She is cross-eyed, wears pale green foundation and her commedia equivalent is Colombina.
Marsha: 40's to 60's. She is tunnel visioned, wears purple foundation and her commedia equivalent is Pulcinella.
Rainbow Carl: 20's to 30's. He is a Flemish region (Dutch speaking) Belgian. He is tunnel visioned, wears rainbow foundation, and his commedia equivalent is Harlequin.
Greeter: 50's to 70's. He is cross-eyed, a lech, a radical fairy, wears gold foundation and his commedia equivalent is Pantalone.
Nick: 40's. He is cross-eyed, wears silver foundation and his commedia equivalent is Il Dottore.
The Zanni:
Beeka: 20's to 40's. Also a Flemish Belgian (Dutch speaking). She is the musician of the play and walks while she plays. She has only one line of dialogue but the director and actor should find places for her to make musical exclamations. She has heavy eyelids and orange foundation
The Grass/Wakenhut: Grass on the side of the road and one of the plays assistants (responsible for the moving set-pieces) and a musician. They may be in the prologue. Also plays a Wakenhut at the end of the play (a rent-a- cop).
The Creek/Wakenhut: A creek by a road and one of the plays assistants (responsible for the moving set-pieces) and a musician. Also plays a Wakenhut at the end of the play (a rent-a-cop).
ACCENTS The accents should be specifically broad.
ACTIVIST PROP All the characters have their own activist prop, which are attached to their person somehow. The props help them make their points, raise their status in the community, and take control of the narrative. They are as follows:
Jimica: a tattoo on his chest of a Native American Beka: a guitar and small portable amp Kelly: a small dry-board and marker Angie: a soapbox Flower: a daisy. Marsha: a bullhorn Rainbow Carl: his camera. King Arthur: a drum Greeter: a fan Nick: a conch shell
PROLOGUE
Morning. Slowly our cast comes out. They are in silhouette and stand in a semi-circle upstage. They sing slowly and quietly.
WALKERS Cut up the bedrock Undo the lovelock Fasten your beat to your feet and go.
Jump on the wagon
Fill up the flagon Dedicate all to the to-and-fro.
The to-and-fro
Oh-oh-oh-oh And Westward ho.
The Walkers slowly come into focus. They walk as if in a beauty pageant.
WALKERS (cont'd) I got a war on To kill me a moron And break up the core of the status quo
Come on arrest me
You never can best me I’ll throw y’all down like a domino
A domino
Oh-oh-oh-oh And off we’ll go
They do synchronized walk routines in pageant lines and each have their moment to be the focus.
Fire ant, fire ant
You’ll be disowned When you leave your kin and the queen alone The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#5
Antelope, Antelope
She’s ain’t from here She came from the east with a pack of queers
Bessie oh Bessie
Come take my hand We’ll stir up our stirrups and brand the bland.
La la la la la la
La la la la La la la la la la la la la la.
KING ARTHUR (To the audience) Welcome my fellow activists of The Walk Across America for Mother Earth. Here, together, we are all members of this trek. And as fellow participants when I ask you a question, if your answer is yes, I’d like you to raise your hands like this:
(Raises and lowers hand quickly) Up and down quickly and with intuitive committed purpose. Let’s try it together on the count of three. 1. 2. 3.
(If it wasn’t fantastic it should influence the way fantastic is said) Fantastic. Here goes. (A rapid, but understood, onslaught) How many of you wanted to stay home tonight? How many are tired of thinking? Of caring about the effort of others? Of seemingly pointless interaction? Of the old repeating themselves? Of the youth thinking they are new? Of having to care about foreign disasters? And local mismanagement? Of the internet? Of reading the newspaper? Of sex? Of choosing a restaurant? Of risking little? Of having to go to the shows of your friends? Of audience participation?
How many of you just wanted to stay home? (Having a great time) Wooooooooo! And now the history.
Greeter does a fashion show walk and poses during his exposition. He’s also having a great time. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#6
From here to the end of the play the characters talk to each other and the audience as if they are fellow walkers. There should be no attempt to look over the audiences heads, as if speaking to them, but actually talk to the people.
GREETER In 1862 the United States Government signed the Ruby Valley land treaty with the Western Shoshone Nation.
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) Something tells me this isn’t going to have a happy ending.
GREETER When nuclear tests came about the US needed somewhere to experiment, so they took the land away from the Shoshone people... again.
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) Government givers!
GREETER Creating The Nevada Nuclear Test Site.
KING ARTHUR Every year huge gatherings of activists come to the Test Site to demand the government give back the land to the Western Shoshone people.
ANGIE/KELLY Does it ever work?
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) What do you mean?
ANGIE/KELLY Do the Shoshone people ever get back their land?
KING ARTHUR No. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#7
ANGIE/KELLY Oh.
KING ARTHUR (Breaking the defeatist mood) But this year is different.
FLOWER It is?
KING ARTHUR It’s 1992.
WALKERS Oh.
Everyone puts on a fanny pack.
GREETER 1492 to 1992,
MARSHA Five hundred years of genocide on Native American’s.
ANGIE/KELLY What can we do?
KING ARTHUR A Walk Across America for Mother Earth.
WALKERS Of course.
The following is done with a growing deranged desperation. They want to get it right. It starts quick and goes faster.
GREETER It will symbolize the white man’s journey from east to west.
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) Only this one will be good. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#8
GREETER With all walks of life joining.
GREETER AND ARTHUR (Pointing at Marsha, Greeter, and Arthur) The old.
ANGIE/KELLY And the young.
WALKERS BUT NICK The sane.
NICK And the insane.
ANGIE, KELLY, MARSHA, NICK, FLOWER, GREETER (Waving mini anarchist flags) Americans.
JIMICA/BEEKA (Waving mini anarchist flags and holding hands) And Belgians.
ANGIE Why Belgians?
JIMICA Belgians have unnatural fixation for all things Native American.
Slight pause.
GREETER And we’ll go to the people.
JIMICA We’ll walk walk
NICK And blister our way over 3000 miles.
GREETER The goal!?! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#9
KING ARTHUR To rally a movement across this country.
WALKERS And shut down the Nevada Nuclear Test Site.
JIMICA And give back land to Native Americans.
ANGIE And stop Global Warming.
FLOWER And the slaughter of innocent animals.
KELLY And human rights.
GREETER And support the organic food movement.
NICK And release political prisoners.
MARSHA Just political ones?
FLOWER Pot-smokers too.
ANGIE Just pot?
FLOWER No, not just pot but-
GREETER Abolish three-strikes your out.
JIMICA And multi-nationals.
KELLY And deforestation. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#10
MARSHA And the male dominate paradigm.
GREETER And we’ll begin our trek in New York City on January 31st.
ANGIE That’s today.
MARSHA And it’ll take nine months.
KELLY We’ll walk 20 miles a day.
NICK Sleep on dirt.
ANGIE/KELLY (rolling on a dumpster and picking food from it) Feed ourselves off the waste of America.
KING ARTHUR And be at the test site in time for Columbus day.
A slight pause.
WALKERS (An evil grumble) Columbus day!
KING ARTHUR (Changing the tone to a more serious one) AND! We walk not as peddlers of a niche ideology, as those jealous of our capacity wish to reduce us to, but as traditionalists. Working class insurgents: tending lands and building a campaign. Together. Refusing to be demolished or pushed to the outskirts and ignored. We are much more dangerous than a niche. We are a community. And in us there is a place for every voice. (Noticing a woman in the audience and coming on to her) Hello beautiful chicken. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#11
Arthur signals with his drum. The walkers sing.
WALKERS I got a heartache for strawberry you cake What’ll I do but up and go
Find me another
I’ll call her my brother Get rid of your keys, crouch down and mow
Still in my twenties
I’ll find me some honies With nothing but feet and a point of view
We’ll pack up a credo break up your deed, oh! Shout the decree. So say adieu.
Go say adieu Ooo-ooo-ooo- ooo to you and-
KING ARTHUR You! Are!
Arthur rolls out a map of the U.S. and places a red dot on a spot just outside of D.C.
KING ARTHUR (cont'd) Here! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#12
ACT ONE
WALKERS 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
They scream and flail about as if in a nuclear explosion. They all die.
Everyone rolls off-stage in various directions except Kelly, Angie and Nick, who find their way to standing via lazzi. The scene suddenly shifts. We’re on a road. Nick, Kelly, and Angie, walk. The characters in this act walk during a vast majority of it. The walking stops only where indicated. They are all trying to walk in a horizontal line on the road but it’s not large enough for them and so they are continually shifting their positions. Whoever walks behind tries to maneuver their way to the front. They are cold. Nick walks in pain and quietly says or mouths, “Ow” through the following. The actor playing Marsha enters dressed as grass on the side of the road.
KELLY Remember a month ago?
ANGIE Before the walk?
KELLY Sitting in the parking lot of the 7-11.
ANGIE You and me.
KELLY Always you and me Angie.
ANGIE In Real America. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#13
KELLY Waiting at the doorstep of... of what?
ANGIE Convenience.
KELLY Right.
ANGIE Always waiting.
KELLY For a moment when age-
ANGIE Or an empathetic over-21-year-old-
KELLY Would give us access to good times.
ANGIE And we hated where we were.
KELLY Growing up in Real America was like... like-
ANGIE Drowning in a giant discarded big-cup of yesterdays half- drunk coagulating soda.
KELLY Yeah. And nobody cared.
ANGIE And we care.
KELLY We care so much more than Real Americans.
ANGIE And so never belonged in Real America. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#14
KELLY And you were planning. Ever since we were on jungle gyms. Planning a way away from Real America
ANGIE And our Real American families.
KELLY And then, as if the thing we’d been seeking was seeking us,
ANGIE The leaflet.
KELLY Right. A leaflet,
ANGIE Blowing in the wind-
KELLY Landed at our feet.
NICK Ow.
ANGIE And on this leaflet was the walk.
KELLY This... what? This...
ANGIE Expedition.
KELLY Expedition into...
ANGIE Adulthood.
KELLY Right. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#15
ANGIE But you were afraid.
KELLY I questioned.
ANGIE You were afraid to lose.
KELLY Well, what if I pour my heart into a cause only to lose?
ANGIE But this is that moment Kelly. A moment where we can do something of consequence with ourselves.
KELLY I know.
ANGIE To be born into a time of apathy and destruction is a magnificent privilege.
KELLY I know, this is our opportunity-
ANGIE To be great people.
KELLY I know.
ANGIE To express our empathy.
KELLY You don’t have to tell me.
ANGIE And through that expression save oceans and lives and culture.
KELLY I’m here. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#16
ANGIE Don’t squander that which the creator has given you.
KELLY Eww.
ANGIE What?
KELLY I don’t like that word.
ANGIE Creator.
KELLY It creeps me out.
ANGIE Translate it.
KELLY To what?
ANGIE Call it the Universe.
KELLY Calling the Creator the Universe also creeps me out.
ANGIE But the point.
KELLY I know. I’m here. The leaflet called out and we could-
ANGIE If we accepted the call-
KELLY We could finally leave the ugliness of Real America.
ANGIE And join a chosen family. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#17
KELLY Who have the tools and the will to strive for beauty.
ANGIE And now a months passed.
Kelly runs and gets the map. He places the dot in Pennsylvania.
KELLY And here we are so far away from Real America.
ANGIE Walking across the United States of America.
KELLY Together.
ANGIE Every day our lives consists of walking.
KELLY But.
ANGIE What?
KELLY Together. Right? Walking together? Right? Angie? Right?
The Grass pops up an orange ribboned landscaping stake in her hand. Angie pulls out the stake from her hand as if pulling it from the ground. She flings it off stage in an overdramatic rage. She is pleased with herself. She goes on like nothing happened. Greeter appears in the distance walking on his knees to make it look like he’s farther back on the same road.
KELLY (cont'd) And it was so ugly there on the doorstep of convenience. So ugly my eyes were sore. (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#18
KELLY (cont'd) I had sore eyes for nineteen years. Each blink. But not anymore. Now, here with you, with this community, I feel-
The Grass pops up another landscaping stake. Angie pulls out the stake and flings it off-stage, again in an absurd rage.
KELLY (cont'd) Why are you doing that?
ANGIE It’s part of the plan.
KELLY It is?
Angie puts down her soapbox activist prop and stands on it.
ANGIE (As if at a massive rally) Developers are bad.
She picks up her soapbox and they walk in silence.
KELLY Won’t they just put the stakes in the ground again?
ANGIE They’re marking their territory.
KELLY Isn’t it their territory?
ANGIE Not anymore.
KELLY I think it’s still theirs.
ANGIE Maybe but... The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#19
KELLY But...
ANGIE But I don’t have to be reminded of it every twenty feet.
NICK Would you mind scooting over so I don’t have to walk behind you?
KELLY But then I have to walk in the traffic.
ANGIE The side of the road isn’t built for community living.
KELLY (A discovery) There for twosomes.
NICK Sometimes threesomes.
ANGIE Mostly not.
KELLY Mostly the third person has to walk behind.
NICK (In the ditch) Or in the ditch.
ANGIE (Standing on her soapbox) It’s like the architecture of the social dictate of how we get from place to place is about leaving someone behind.
KELLY (Writing on his dry-board the word vile and holding it up for all to see) That’s! So! Vile!
NICK Ow. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#20
KELLY Stop whimpering Nick.
NICK I have blisters under all my toenails. And they’re falling off! My toenails are falling off.
He pulls a toenail off his toe. The sinew of the toe, attached to the toenail, elastically stretches and finally pulls off, leaving a mangled bloody toe in it’s wake.
NICK (cont'd) I’m getting the feet of an eighty year old and when this is all over will probably have to go on disability from varicose veins. But I’m not giving up. I will make it to the end.
KELLY To the test site!
ANGIE Shut it down!
The Grass pops up another stake. Angie pulls the stake out with her teeth and chews it, in rabid fury, then flings it off stage. Beeka and Jimica are seen walking (on their knees) and playing music in the distance. When the music stops they should hold hands.
KELLY (Regarding the stake) You’re gonna get the workers in trouble.
ANGIE Good.
KELLY It’s not their fault.
ANGIE It’s nobodies fault until your accused, convicted, and confess. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#21
NICK (In agreement with her) And even then.
ANGIE They just think they own this. They don’t own this.
GREETER (Calling up to Kelly and Angie) My hopeful revolutionaries!
ANGIE (Calling back to him) Greeter!
During the following: A lazzi where Kelly, Angie, and Nick walk slower and Greeter walks faster, growing to standing, and catches up to K/A/N. The Grass disappears in the distance.
KELLY Eww.
ANGIE (To Kelly about Greeter) He’s sweet.
KELLY He always looks at me as if he wants to cradle me in his bosom.
Greeter has caught up to them.
GREETER I like to find the wounded birds.
KELLY (Caught off guard) Ah!
GREETER (Offering the popcorn to them) Nutritional yeast popcorn? The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#22
KELLY I’m not wounded.
GREETER Of course you are. You could have run to the city to frolic in your youph.
Greeter pronounces youth with a ph.
GREETER (cont'd) But instead, here you are, following the plan of a lesbian and a leaflet.
ANGIE Ha!
GREETER And why? Because you think you’re not beautiful. But you’re wrong. If there’s one thing I’d like to teach the youphs it’s that they are beautiful because they are youphs.
KELLY Do me a favor and treat me like an old man whose set in his ways. Call me Pap Pap and let it go.
ANGIE Greeter, I woke up today and knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Once the walk is finished.
GREETER We’ve just begun and you’re already planning for when it’s over.
ANGIE (Standing on her soapbox activist prop) We have to plan ahead. Shutting the test site down is just the beginning. We are creating a movement. Like you did before us. We’re going to affect positive change. I want us to be those people. The people who do that. Direct action changes things. And if we don’t radicalize the template then I give you permission to judge my generation. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#23
KELLY (Teasing a little) Angie always makes plans.
ANGIE You never make plans. (To Greeter) Kelly wouldn’t even be on this walk if it weren’t for my plans.
KELLY You’re using my past as ammunition.
ANGIE You think I want to be the only one who makes plans?
KELLY I just-
ANGIE I’d love it if somebody else would make the plans.
NICK (His feet hurting.) Ow.
GREETER (Taking the focus with his fan activist prop) The sixties weren’t as grand as you like to imagine. All that wasted time. Everyone calling for revolution. Revolution is impossible if the people can dumpster dive brand name coffee. But the collapse is coming. This path is completely unsustainable and that is what will bring change. When things fall apart is when the people will wake up. Everyone will join us then. Empathy and action won’t be the role of the few but of all. It will be the only way to survive. EVERYONE WILL CARE FOR EVERYONE!!!
NICK I won’t care for everyone. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#24
GREETER I didn’t mean you. You’re a casualty of a Reagan administration mental-hospital cut-back. You can’t be expected to care for others.
During the following Marsha enters, on her knees in the distance, and catches up the Jimica and Beeka.
NICK I always cared more about ants than people. Did you know if you remove an ant ten feet from its selected path it will wander lost to its death? And monks are sweeping them aside so they don’t step on them but, in their sweeping, the ants lose their path and die. (Evil) How can you love that?
MARSHA Come on Belgians! We’re getting left in the dust!
A lazzi where Marsha, Beeka and Jimica grow, as they catch up to the walkers.
MARSHA (cont'd) (Catching up to the others) What time did you leave? You didn’t beat us. You left before us and we’re still gonna pass you.
JIMICA Wiggle-butt.
KELLY Jimica!
ANGIE Jimica, cover your chest, you’ll get frostbite.
KELLY He’s fine.
JIMICA I wish to show tattoo. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#25
KELLY You don’t have to put a shirt on, you’re fine.
JIMICA The pain from cold is nothing compared to pain earth feels when nuclear tests explode. I feel my chest is world and Native American on my chest reminds me and everyone who see me with shirt off that world is better off with Native Americans.
NICK Ow.
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) CAR!
A cardboard car drives by. They all run to one side of the road, get out the activist props, and use them to help shout at the car in random gibberish. Rainbow Carl is seen in the distance walking on his knees.
RAINBOW CARL (Calling up to them) Ho!
MARSHA Oh! The new Belgian is catching up to us.
They walk, spreading out along the road.
ANGIE Does this Belgian have a name?
GREETER His fellow Belgians call him Rainbow Carl instead of just Carl but he wants to make sure we all know he’s not Rainbow Carl because he’s a hippie or into commercialized gay pride or likes rainbows it’s just that he’s a punk and he’s dyed his hair lots of different colors. He’s one of the those highly political people who want your politics to match his politics but only after he’s taught you what politics to have.
(MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#26
GREETER (cont'd) If you have his politics already he’ll want nothing to do with you. So if you want him to like you it’s best to act as if you know nothing about how things should be. And he has an infected lip piercing that he always pulls on with his tongue. He’ll probably make you a mixed tape of his favorite anarchist Eastern European punk bands. And like all of the Belgians he has an inappropriate tatoo of a Native American.
JIMICA (A sincere question) What is wrong with tatoo?
GREETER And he was at the G8 protest last year. He threw his body under a bus and they had to postpone one of the meetings. And he has a girlfriend whose a lesbian and they don’t know what they’re doing, if they’re breaking up or if their making a family home where they’re not a couple or are a couple plus someone else on the side or if it’s just a phase and she’ll go back to him. So he decided to come to America and get some distance and let her make a decision later because he’s always threatening to quit his job at his father’s fish market and live on the street to annoy her or get back at her for being who she is. He’s not shy. I’m sure he’ll tell you all about it.
MARSHA (Trying to walk faster) He’s going to pass us.
Everyone freezes in walk positions. Rainbow Carl continues walking and catches up to them.
RAINBOW CARL Ho!
Angie stands.
ANGIE (Smitten) Ho!
They all unfreeze and walk. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#27
GREETER (Introducing everyone to him) Everyone... This is-
RAINBOW CARL I suppose I have to introduce myself. I’m Rainbow Carl. Not hippie rainbow or gay pride rainbow but variegated hair rainbow.
Rainbow Carl takes a picture of them.
GREETER You! Must! Ask! First! Before! Taking!
RAINBOW CARL (Taking a picture while asking) May I take picture. I send home to lesbian girlfriend to show trip in America.
ANGIE You’re the bus guy from the G8 protest?
RAINBOW CARL I no define myself by one deed. I am not bus guy. I am also lover.
ANGIE (Changing the awkward subject) We wanted to go to the G8 protest but we don’t have passports.
KELLY Most American’s don’t have passports. It’s pathetic. We’re pathetic.
ANGIE But we’re making up for it by being here.
KELLY And when we shut down the test site.
ANGIE We’re devising a plan. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#28
KELLY To be the first people ever to get to the bowling alley.
RAINBOW CARL You wish to bowl?
Marsha’s following exclamation is a disgust lazzi and should be exaggerated and fairly uniform. It is her way of saying, “Duh, you’re not as smart as me.” It should be gigantic as if she wishes to demolish the person with her “Ugh”!
MARSHA Ugh!
ANGIE There used to be a village on the test site made of dummies
NICK But it got blown away.
GREETER All that’s left is a bowling alley.
ANGIE You have to lock yourself down to something to stop the test.
KELLY They can’t do the test with people on the land.
GREETER But it’s the desert.
NICK The only thing to lock yourself to, in the desert-
RAINBOW CARL Is this bowling alley.
KELLY Get to the bowling alley and you shut the test site down. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#29
NICK And bowl for free.
GREETER So every year activists gather and race to the bowling alley.
ANGIE No one’s ever made it before.
MARSHA Because the rent-a-cops-
NICK (Evil about them) Waknehuts.
ANGIE The rent-a-cops are called Wakenhuts.
KELLY They always catch the activists before they get to the bowling alley.
JIMICA I get to bowling alley.
KELLY I bet you will.
NICK If you don’t have anything to lock yourself down to, the Wakenhuts can drag you away.
RAINBOW CARL If nobody been to bowling alley how know exist?
NICK I’m not like other people who have to experience something in order to know what they hope to later do!
ANGIE/KELLY We’ll be the first! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#30
NICK I’ll be the first person ever.
JIMICA No, I win.
MARSHA NEVEEEEEEEEER!
Lights focus down on Jimica, Nick and Marsha as they eye each other with vehement competition. Hold one, two, three and all returns as it was.
ANGIE The plan is: the media will get word that we’re locked down to the test site-
MARSHA And thousands of people will join us.
KELLY It’ll be beautiful.
RAINBOW CARL (Looking at Angie) Is beautiful here!
ANGIE Oh don’t look at it. This is just... America.
KELLY It’s so ugly.
ANGIE It’s so embarrassing.
KELLY We’re so embarrassing.
They all pause and look at him. Arthur is heard drumming ahead of them (in the audience). The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#31
NICK That’s King Arthur drumming!
WALKERS (Waving up to Arthur) King Arthur!
NICK (To Rainbow Carl) He’s our leader.
GREETER We’re a collective Nick.
MARSHA We don’t have a leader.
ANGIE He’s our unofficial leader.
KELLY He was in Nam.
ANGIE Where he got agent orange
MARSHA And is a Hell’s Angel whose committed to being homeless by choice.
NICK They say he was one of the Weathermen.
ANGIE Now he’s back to non-violence.
KELLY And he created an AIDS action where he put a giant condom over a senators house.
GREETER And I heard he was the ghost-writer for “Diet For A New America”. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#32
NICK And he levitated the pentagon.
ANGIE And he’s obsessed with this hippie girl.
KELLY Flower.
ANGIE And she’s just not good enough for him.
KELLY She’s so dirty. And she brags she’s done acid seventy-six times
ANGIE And that most of those were double hits.
KELLY And obviously she’s telling the truth -
ANGIE Because she’s not completely there.
KELLY And she smells like patchouli,
ANGIE Which everyone smells like,
KELLY But with her it’s a competition.
ANGIE Nobody wants to grow up anymore don’t you think?
KELLY Especially girls named Flower.
ANGIE She named herself Flower.
Arthur appears. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#33
KING ARTHUR My walkers.
GREETER Arthur! We have a new-
RAINBOW CARL (Introducing himself to Arthur) Rainbow Carl. Not hippie Rainbow-
GREETER Or commercialized gay pride rainbow.
Carl takes a picture of King Arthur. A slight pause of discomfort as this is a no-no.
ANGIE Carl postponed a G8 meeting.
King Arthur farts. Everyone leans away.
KING ARTHUR I eat too many bananas from last weeks banana dumpster. All week banana pancakes, banana salsa, banana chips, yogurt, stew. Everything smells of banana. Farts smell of banana. Sex smells of banana. When will we run out of banana? Too much information?
(Laughing too loud and too big) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
WALKERS (All but Rainbow Carl) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
KELLY (To Rainbow Carl to explain why everyone is laughing, as of to say, “get it”.) Too much information!
RAINBOW CARL I do not like this T.M.I. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#34
WALKERS (Amazed that someone would contradict King Arthur) Huh!
Rainbow Carl claps and the lights focus on him. All eyes on Carl. He speaks to both the audience and players.
RAINBOW CARL Everything in America is T.M.I. Too Much Information. I do not believe in it. We are enlightened people and we must spread this enlightenment. We must break down celebration of anti- information. You have Berlin Wall up around this insular walk community. And people on other side of wall, people who are not on walk, they no understand how to get over. It is our job to help them over. With our T.M.I. We must stop and shout, “This is why we walk.”
GREETER Aren’t we doing that?
RAINBOW CARL But we must be honest with what reason is. Otherwise people smell deceit and never join us. Am I vegetarian because I care about suffering of animals? Or am I vegetarian because my father neglected me? (A slight pause) I am born to a, what you call, blue collar worker. Up at four every morning to clean fish in market. Sweat smells of fish. Clothes smell of fish. Furniture. Aspirations smell of fish and fingers sting from scales that cut and fish eggs stick to corners of my eyes like flies in Africa. I have girl in Belgium. Will we be like my parents and have babies and raise them on fish oil? And will they dream of fish and cry baby fish for tears? And will we wonder how to pay bills and drink at pub instead of sleeping because sleeping just brings more work through dreams of working? And this, this desire to escape life built on lack of surprise, this is reason I come to walk. This is honest. This honesty is what inspire people on other side of wall to join movement.
(MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#35
RAINBOW CARL (cont'd) And yes some be overwhelmed by T.M.I and go about eating from Dairy Queen with sprinkles of radiation on top but little by little we offer alternative. Little by little we go from Walk Across America of a hundred, how you say, preach-to- converted activists, to entire world of walkers.
ANGIE We should put that in the newsletter.
KING ARTHUR (Trying to make Carl a small man) You are a big man. Big man comes to walk. All hail big man. The revolutionaries will start to dress like you.
RAINBOW CARL (An attack back) My style is to wear what comes to me.
A stand-off.
KING ARTHUR The day before I had the vision for this walk my heroin addict dad took my heroin addict ma to the emergency room where he overheard a conversation about a woman dying on a gurney. He thought it was Ma and called me to say she was dead. I let out a wail I’d never knew was in me. Between sobs I went to the hospital to claim the body but when I got there... found my ma was alive and literally kicking some candy striper. Only somebody who carries no true knowledge of pain could walk through life shouting for surprise.
Arthur flirts with a woman in the front row, indicating that he’s won the debate. Carl takes a picture of him. Arthur signals to Marsha with his drum.
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) MEETING!
They strike meeting poses that are returned to in every meeting. Nick puts his hand up and leaves it up through the entire meeting. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#36
ANGIE We call this consensus meeting to plan the daily action.
MARSHA We agreed it should be a Die-In.
ANGIE (Not liking this idea) We did?
MARSHA (Off her bullhorn) Ugh!
During the following Marsha takes her empty and clear water bottle, puts it in her trousers, pees in it, and continues to hold it.
MARSHA (cont'd) Everyone stands in a circle and we count down, like the nuclear explosion is about to happen, and then we scream, we have to really show the people what a nuclear explosion would be like. Then we die and stay on the ground, not moving, while two people in haz-mat suits take our bodies away one at a time. Perhaps they should be weeping.
Marsha drinks from her pee filled urine bottle.
MARSHA (cont'd) (To King Arthur) Should they be weeping?
RAINBOW CARL I no realize I come on action day.
MARSHA Ug! It’s the Quincentennial of the beginning of a brutal genocide. (On and off her bull-horn throughout her speech) And we’re doing a Die-In in solidarity of those slain. We are all connected. (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#37
MARSHA (cont'd) Feeling the spirits massacred, loved ones just going about their days, this is the only way to live today. How can I love my girlfriend Angie if I cannot connect to the love and loss of those who came before me? So we re-enact in our own way. And through that re-enactment ANGIE LOVES ME!
Marsha runs to Angie and kisses her, dipping her and using lots of tongue all over her face for much too long. Eventually Angie coughs and breaks the kiss.
MARSHA (cont'd) You always cough when I kiss you.
ANGIE Do I?
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) Are there any comments or questions? (Moving on before anyone has a change to ask) Any stand asides?
JIMICA What is stand aside again?
MARSHA Ugh!
KELLY (To Jimica) It means you disagree with the proposal but will allow it to receive consensus for the good of the community.
MARSHA Are there any stand asides?
Rainbow Carl raises his hand.
MARSHA (cont'd) Rainbow Carl?
RAINBOW CARL I am anarchist and don’t believe in rules. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#38
ANGIE (Perhaps a little turned on via her surprise) Oh.
Carl takes a picture of the audience.
MARSHA (Pulling Angie away from Rainbow Carl) The stand asides have spoken. Are there any-
KING ARTHUR (Not angry caps but a rallying cap) WE! ARE! A COMMUNITY! And everyone in this family is an important member of it. So if one member wishes to block the proposal we do not have consensus.
MARSHA Are there any blocks?
Kelly, Greeter, and Nick have hands raised.
MARSHA (cont'd) (Manipulating them by acting as if she’s in pain) Ow. Ow. Ow. My cancer. My cancer!
Everyone slowly lowers their hands.
MARSHA (cont'd) Are there any blocks? (Slight pause) We have consensus.
Arthur signals.
MARSHA (cont'd) (On her bullhorn) BEGIN DIE-IN!
WALKERS 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
They scream as if dying in a nuclear explosion and fall to the ground. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#39
Rainbow Carl stands and watches dumbfounded. King Arthur, who has not died, pounds his drum, signalling Marsha to signal the others.
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) WALKERS RISE.
The walkers rise.
MARSHA (cont'd) (On her bullhorn) WALKERS WALK!
They walk. The actor playing Flower enters dressed as a creek.
MARSHA (cont'd) Guys, stop with me while I wash my menstrual rag in the creek.
Marsha pulls a bloody rag out of her underwear and washes it out in a creek. This is a blood lazzi where at least a gallon of blood gets rung out of her rag. It should keep pouring and pouring. Everyone stops and watches. Nick drinks from the creek Marsha is cleaning her rag in.
ANGIE (To Nick) Don’t drink that. It’s dripping with cow patties and lesbian vaginal activism.
GREETER (Offering a slimy mushroom to him) Try some home brewed kombucha tea instead.
MARSHA (Putting the rag back in her pants to absorb more of the blood and then speaking to Rainbow Carl) Angie get’s squeamish about the bodily fluid thing. (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#40
MARSHA (cont'd) Still uses her feminine products. We’re working on her. She’s just great.
Marsha takes a swig from her pee bottle, gurgles, swallows and kisses Angie with tongue all over her face. Angie coughs one single cough. Marsha stops kissing her.
MARSHA (cont'd) See ya at camp slow pokes.
Marsha zooms off. The others start walking again. The Creek disappears in the distance.
ANGIE (To Rainbow Carl) I’m sorry about her. I’m sorry about Marsha. She has cancer and is trying to heal it with urine therapy. Sometimes her passion can be a little grating, no that’s not the word, off- putting. She’s amazing though.
KELLY (Looking at Nick who is looking at him) What?
NICK What?
KELLY You always look at me as if you want to... never mind.
NICK (To Kelly about Kelly and him) We’ve known each other through many lifetimes Kelly.
KELLY (To Nick) What?
NICK And throughout them all, you’ve refused to acknowledge your responsibility to me. Each life you deny me. The cycle will continue ‘til you learn the only way to escape shame is to accept it. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#41
KELLY You need to leave me alone.
NICK Don’t make me beg for all eternity.
Nick starts to masturbate with his hand inside his pants.
KELLY Stop that right now!
NICK CAR!
Everyone goes to one side of the road. They get out their props and repeat their action from before. This time the car stops. Flower gets out of it. The others stop their action and stare. The car zooms off.
FLOWER (Pulling her underwear straight) Thanks for the ride.
KING ARTHUR (Excited to see her) Flower.
FLOWER Hey guys.
KELLY (To Flower) Did you just hitch a ride on a Walk Across America?
FLOWER I was so far behind and my feet hurt.
NICK You don’t see me hitching a ride and my toenails are falling off.
He pulls off another bloody toenail. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#42
ANGIE Smells like essential oil.
FLOWER You don’t like it.
ANGIE It’s a personal taste.
GREETER (Fanning himself) Let’s hold a consensus meeting to decide how much essential oil Flower gets to put on.
WALKERS (Demonic group laugh) Wa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Flower stops walking and cries. The others walk off laughing. King Arthur stops with Flower.
KING ARTHUR There’s my little Petunia. Little Tulip. Little Blue Bell.
FLOWER I thought I’d fit in here. But not even here. They’re always teasing me. Where does an outsider go when the outside doesn’t want her?
KING ARTHUR They tease to see what you are made of. Oh, look you’re made of petals and pistils and sweet smells.
FLOWER I don’t work with people.
KING ARTHUR You’re a baby. A baby I will cradle. There is no outside with Arthur. Come to Arthur.
He kisses her. She kinda tries to stop him but doesn’t know what to do. The kissing is grotesque and very wet with lots of tongue all over her face. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#43
KING ARTHUR (cont'd) You are girl of guru. All will respect you now.
King Arthur continues kissing Flower.
FLOWER (Enjoying the idea of this) Girl of guru.
Flower kisses Arthur with great tongue action all over his face. Angie enters with a pen and notebook. She moves the dot to just outside of Indianapolis. Arthur and Flower continue their kissing.
ANGIE Dear Real American family, (Looking at Arthur kissing Flower) And so it goes.
Three curtains rush in. Tableau vivants on the moving curtains happen. They represent all that Angie says (and beyond). The curtains travel side to side on three different planes across the stage. They open revealing an action, close and change position where they open, revealing a new action with new people and close again. This repeats with all three curtains back and forth throughout the entire speech. We should be surprised by which curtain opens and when. The tableau vivants are lazzi and should be quick and highly theatrical. The more ridiculous the better. Don’t be afraid of props and the outrageous. A few specific lazzi have been written for dramaturgical reasons. These must be done all others should be made up by the company/director.
ANGIE (cont'd) We walk. We are covered in winter gear. We protest nuclear testing. Snow blows. Rain crashes down. (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#44
ANGIE (cont'd) We walk. The sun comes out. We shed our clothes. The rain comes back. We put on our clothes. We protest the imprisonment of Leonard Peltier. The sun comes back. We shed our clothes and this time fat with them. We protest for the environment. We get dirty looks from the locals. We get in verbal fights with the locals. We leave the locals behind. We sign up for work duties. Some do fee collection.
Flower is seen putting money in her underwear.
ANGIE (cont'd) Some clean the portable toilets
Kelly is seen in haz-mat suit with a toothbrush.
ANGIE (cont'd) Some dumpster dive for food.
Greeter is seen coming out of a dumpster in Carmen Miranda drag (with a head-piece designed with dumpster food).
ANGIE (cont'd) We get dysentery.
Everyone sprays brown silly string all over Kelly.
ANGIE (cont'd) We notice each other.
Jimica is revealed holding his nose at Kelly
ANGIE (cont'd) We flirt.
Kelly tries to flirt, while covered in poop.
ANGIE (cont'd) We fight with our lovers.
Marsha is seen crying. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#45
ANGIE (cont'd) We eye our options.
Carl appears and takes a picture of Angie. She poses.
ANGIE (cont'd) We go from pale to sunburned red. We peel off our skin. We admire our beauty. We find the flaws. We take off all our clothes, trade them with others, and put on the clothes our neighbor was wearing. We do this three times and the third time, miraculously everyone is wearing gorgeous sequined gowns. We have a party. Some do acid.
Flower is seen on an acid trip.
ANGIE (cont'd) Some do ecstacy.
Flower is seen on an ecstacy trip.
ANGIE (cont'd) Some do speed.
Flower is seen on a speed trip.
ANGIE (cont'd) The party turns into the walk of shame. We recover. We walk. A dog comes on board.
This is Key Key and is portrayed by the actor who plays Jimica. He wears a dog outfit with exaggerated male dog genitalia. The area around his genitalia is pink and later we will hear Flower call it his pink panties. When he appears we see Flower, with a giant butterfly catcher, catching Key Key.
ANGIE (cont'd) A walker dies. We have a funeral. A walker has a baby. We pass it around and take care of it. We wonder how long this is going to last. We tire. We stumble. We crawl. We fall. We sleep. We wake and do it all over again. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#46
Angie looks at her paper. A beat. She crumples up the paper. Arthur and Marsha enter with the map. He puts the dot on Colorado Springs and signals to Marsha
MARSHA (On her bullhorn ) MEETING!
All walkers run out and stand in a semi- circle. Nick puts his hand up through the entire meeting. Flower has Key Key on a leash. Arthur isn’t paying attention during the meeting because he’s flirting with a woman in the front row.
MARSHA (cont'd) The Dyke collective would like to hold a Women Unite Take Back the Night March upon our arrival to town.
ANGIE We call this meeting of consensus approval so we can begin plans for the action.
FLOWER This is a Walk Across America For Mother Earth not a Women Unite Take Back the Night March.
MARSHA (An attack of Flower) Please raise your hand before speaking.
Flower raises her hand.
KELLY (Not raising his hand) Are men allowed to walk in a Women Unite march?
MARSHA Ugh!
FLOWER This is a family. How can we exclude half of our family from an action? The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#47
MARSHA (Ignoring her) Are there any stand asides?
Rainbow Carl raises his hand and takes a picture of Marsha.
MARSHA (cont'd) Any blocks.
Flower, Kelly and Nick have their hands raised.
MARSHA (cont'd) Ow ow ow. My cancer. My cancer.
Kelly and Nick slowly lowers their hands.
MARSHA (cont'd) We have a consensus.
FLOWER My hand is raised. I’m blocking this proposal.
MARSHA It’s too late. We reached a consensus.
FLOWER ARTIE!
Everyone stops and looks at Flower.
FLOWER (cont'd) (To King Arthur) Walk with me!
Everyone disappears except Flower, Key Key and King Arthur, who walk. The curtains from before have now become various road backdrops. Throughout the scene all the players should look as if they have their own roads behind them. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#48
FLOWER (cont'd) (Vehemently) This is a Walk Across America for Mother Earth not a Women Unite Take Back the Night March. I wish you’d voted no with me. Nobody listens to me when I say no but you could tell them no. Artie you have to tell them no. And that Marsha. She’s always acts as if she’s in charge. But everyone knows your in charge. YOU TELL THEM NO!
Key Key, disturbed by Flower’s anger, is shaking. Arthur sneaks off Flower’s road and goes to a different one.
FLOWER (cont'd) Oh Key Key. I think my little Prince has been traumatized. If a dog can be traumatized. Why wouldn’t they? They’re just like us and we get traumatized. Something happened to you before the walk found you. But you’re here now. You’re safe. Nobody can hurt you and you’ll never be lonely again.
FLOWER (cont'd) (Not knowing where he is) Artie?
Beeka pops up on King Arthur’s new road.
KING ARTHUR Tell me Mademoiselle Beeka, how do Belgian people keep cocks from crowing?
A musical question mark from Beeka.
KING ARTHUR (cont'd) I now have three chickens and my most recent one is a rooster who disguised herself as a chicken. Once I took her in, she started crowing and keeps it up for hours.
Rainbow Carl and Angie enter together on their on road. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#49
RAINBOW CARL (Pronouncing hungry like angry and shaking his belly when he says it.) When will we get to camp site. I’m hungry. Does not walking all day make you hungry.
ANGIE No. War. War makes me angry. I feel a little silly saying that because it’s so... easy and... everyone says war.... but my father’s in the Marine Corps and I just... that’s what I... war makes me angry.
RAINBOW CARL (Shaking his belly) I am so hungry.
ANGIE When I met Marsha I was so young and thought she’d be my planner. Someone I could team up with. But now I’m not so young, or at least I’ve been away from home for a couple months, and am not so nervous to look for things different from my own experience. It’s nothing against Marsha, she’s good enough, but there’s no future with her. And she’s so aggressive and gurgles with urine. But I can’t break up with someone who has cancer so... why does it have to be so hard.
RAINBOW CARL Ha! If you talk to liberal or conservative they say same thing, “Is hard”. “Setting up camp is so hard”, “Believing in you is so hard”. I call my girl from pay phone to Belgium. She in hysterics: everything is falling apart, everything is hard, “Where am I? Don’t I want to come back and make things work? Why do I care more about things I can’t change than things I can?” We get so upset I slam receiver. I have such great feeling for you Angie. I can say most horrible things to you.
He kisses her and they stop walking
RAINBOW CARL (cont'd) Ow.
ANGIE What? The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#50
RAINBOW CARL My lip piercing is hurting.
He kisses her again more passionately. Both of them using their tongues all over each other’s faces. Suddenly it’s too much for Angie and she pulls away. They walk.
ANGIE The women are too afraid to have the Women Unite Take Back the Night march at night. They want to do it at Dusk. Marsha’s incensed. She keeps mocking them saying, what are we going to chant, “Women We Must, Take Back The Dusk”.
RAINBOW CARL And how do you feel?
ANGIE Dusk is my favorite part of the day.
RAINBOW CARL You like the middle. You are a wonderful bi-sexual lady. You should not be afraid of night. You have light always with your full-moon eyes.
ANGIE (Making fun of his phoniness) Ha! That’s just. That’s just. (A sudden sexual rush) My player. That’s what you are. My sweet, sweet player. ( She puts down her soapbox and steps up on it speaking to the audience and Rainbow Carl) I like it when people let you have your fantasy to the point they don’t care about sacrificing authenticity to give it to you. (Slight pause) It makes me feel dirty.
RAINBOW CARL (Pulling her off her soapbox) My full-moon eyed bi-sexual lady. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#51
ANGIE No, it’s too much. You are too... no! (Ravenous) Be my player. Oh shit, someone’s coming. Hide or stay still or pretend we’re different people or things or-
They freeze in strange positions. Greeter and Kelly appear on the road directly next to Angie and Rainbow Carl’s road. Kelly is still in his haz -mat suite and covered in the stringy diarrhea from before.
GREETER I’ve lived my life in an all male commune. In rural Tennessee. You haven’t lived until you’ve randomly come across five hundred drag queens in the woods. And everyone says gays are clean but everyone hasn’t lived in an all male gay commune. I’ll wash your clothes for you.
KELLY Why does it have to be so hard?
GREETER (Holding a toothbrush) You should let me scrub you down and get that stink out. (Seeing Angie and Rainbow Carl) Oh, hello. I didn’t see you. I thought you were a tree thing.
KELLY (To Angie across the way) There you are Angie. Weren’t we gonna walk together!
ANGIE (A lie) I couldn’t find you.
KELLY I was cleaning the shitter. It’s the sixth week in a row I’ve been on shitter patrol. You’d think I’d get used to the smell and not care so much but I always care. I always care too much. And now that Marsha’s cancer is progressing she has diarrhea all the time. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#52
GREETER You look like a hawk could come and swoop you up for dinner.
KELLY It’s why I would never get a dog. There’s something fundamentally wrong with people who want unrequited love so much they’ll pick up shit everyday of their lives.
Jimica runs to Flower’s road, changes into Key Key, and poops.
FLOWER (Excited for him and then restraining him) Did you just make a poopy!
KELLY I need to find another way to save the world.
JIMICA (Appearing on Kelly’s road) Wiggelbutt!
KELLY Jimica.
JIMICA I catch a toadie for you.
GREETER He’s a fairy. What does he want a caught frog for?
KELLY (To Jimica about the frog) He’s sweet.
JIMICA It have three hind legs.
KELLY It’s an omen. We’ll all shut down the test site.
NICK (Suddenly appearing) No! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#53
KELLY AH!
NICK You’re mistaken. It has two-hind legs and a large dick.
GREETER If I can give you a little advice Nick: you irritate people!
NICK You say! But when the revolution is won I will be the last man standing and the first to make it to the bowling alley.
Suddenly King Arthur appears.
KING ARTHUR No! When the revolution is won our walking family will have found our way to the test site together and our atoms will sparkle so brightly the shame thrust upon us by the ruling class will be banished to the sun. And the Beaver and her grandchild The Water Beetle and the Great Buzzard will say, “We made the land but you, you Walkers, you are our protectorates. And the Western Shoshone will make a dance for us. It will go like this.
The following is a dance, complete with backing music and vocals, in which each character has their moment to walk the runway. Rainbow Carl sits in the audience and watches.
GREETER When the revolution is won every soul will have cookie earrings so all may satisfy their bellies and seduce the beautiful youphs at the same time.
KELLY When the revolution is won the tackiness of America will become so smooth it slips down the drain of beauty to be subsumed into oblivion.
JIMICA When revolution is won all will go shirtless so they too may feel breeze on nipples. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#54
ANGIE (Flirting with Carl) When the revolution is won we will be continually surprised. Unwilling to know but committed to finding out.
RAINBOW CARL (Throwing her flowers from the audience) Full-moon eyed bi-sexual lady.
MARSHA When the revolution is won we will have one month of celebration, at most, and then our bliss, wrenched apart by a fickle and greedy restlessness, will return to this present state: full of injustice, pain and consumptive fear.
FLOWER When the revolution is won the God of Fruit will pluck the belongers off the vine of the earth and satiate my molars with their juices.
Key Key walks the runway and when he gets to the end he licks his balls. During Nick’s speech everyone gathers in a demented cluster.
NICK When the revolution is won, the blood from thousands of years of religious wars will rise up from the ground. It will rise as if raining backwards into the clouds. And once saturated the clouds will flood into heaven where the pious saved, in their righteous resting, will have forgotten how to swim and they will drown in the blood they once spilled.
Rainbow Carl goes to Angie and takes her soapbox. He stands on it stopping the song before its final consonant.
RAINBOW CARL You will never win revolution!
WALKERS Huh! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#55
RAINBOW CARL You are too stuck inside childish huddle, stuck inside, how you say, victim mentality. See something other than this make- believe community. Get passport. This is how revolution is won. This is how you stop nuclear test.
He takes a picture of them.
KING ARTHUR (Over angry and acting the big-shot) You decide family is nothing. My huddle, my community, is everything!
GREETER We are nothing without each other.
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) People matter!
FLOWER I matter.
NICK My thoughts matter.
KING ARTHUR (To Rainbow Carl) You would be nothing. You would be standing in line for jeans if it weren’t for people like me. You would be home eating mayonnaise on french fries if it weren’t for my family in our world without our passports. I should quit.
WALKERS What!
KING ARTHUR (To the Walkers) Is this what you want of me? To let some Flem decimate our community. You want me to leave the walk?
WALKERS (All but Rainbow Carl) Noooooooo! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#56
MARSHA Don’t listen to that Belgian. He just wanted a cheap vacation to see America and feel better than those he left behind.
NICK (To Carl) You don’t actually want to shut anything down but those around you.
GREETER (Throwing a Walk Across America sticker at Rainbow Carl) Here, buy a sticker that says your somebody.
KING ARTHUR I work my whole life for this community. I go to Nam, come back and suffer insults and disease for this community. If we will not act as community, why should I stay?
GREETER Agreed. There is no reason for me either. I mother. I mother those who became activists because they hated their mothers.
KING ARTHUR I’ll go where I am wanted.
GREETER Come with me Arthur. We’ll flee to my Tennessee mountain home and let runaway gays sleep on our floor. We’ll cook them oatmeal and warm their socks and when we are old-old they will do the same for us.
KING ARTHUR Or I stay.
WALKERS (They all run to him.) Yeeeeeeea! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#57
RAINBOW CARL There is no conversation in this America? There is only debate! Come fellow Belgian Jimica, we go dumpster dive bad American beer.
Carl and Jimica storm off.
ANGIE AND KELLY (To the walkers) WHY CAN’T YOU ALL JUST GET ALONG?
NICK Get along?
MARSHA (On her bullhorn) Perfection is for assholes.
GREETER Peace is for babies.
FLOWER (To Angie and Kelly) Are you both asshole babies?
ANGIE Make a plan. That’s all you have to do.
KELLY Then wake up, make your bed and do it beautifully.
ANGIE And people will see how nice life can be.
KELLY And they’ll want to live in that beauty.
NICK I DON’T HAVE A BED!
GREETER Well I won’t leave either. I couldn’t possibly. This is too much like the old days. Only nice. We were ruthless in the old days. I have two priors in Nevada for political action. Did you know that! (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#58
GREETER (cont'd) One more and they put me away for quite some time. If it ever happens I’ll ask to be put in with all the transsexual hookers. You’re safe with the transsexual hookers. Kelly.
KELLY What?
GREETER If you’re ever arrested make sure they put you in with transsexual hookers.
KELLY Fine.
GREETER Fine? I tell you of transsexuals and you say fine? We need to squish you up with some agency. Ooo, let’s circumvent the Women Unite March with a Queer march in the mall. The dykes will shout “We’re here! We’re Queer and we’re not going shopping!” And the gays will shout,
(In a high girly voice) “But we are”.
KELLY Ew.
GREETER Everyone now, I’ll lead us in the chant (Leading the audience in the chant) We’re here We’re queer
GREETER (cont'd) This is your part Marsha (In a deep cliche dyke voice) and we’re not going shopping-
KING ARTHUR There may not be a women unite march!
MARSHA Of course there is. We had a consensus meeting. You can’t go back on the consensus meeting. (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#59
MARSHA (cont'd) (On her bullhorn) Ow. Ow. Ow. My cancer-
Arthur takes Marsha’s bullhorn away and gives it to Flower.
KING ARTHUR Every member of the community is an important member of the community. We will not be bullied. We must have consensus. (Regarding Flower) She can decide what she wants.
FLOWER Oh Artie.
Flower kisses Arthur with too much tongue.
FLOWER (cont'd) (Using the bullhorn) No women unite march!
MARSHA Fine! So we can’t have the march. Angie and I will take back the night in our own way. Viva la Vulva!
Marsha is about to kiss Angie with too much tongue. Angie coughs and stops the kiss in its tracks.
MARSHA (cont'd) See ya at camp slow pokes.
Marsha zooms off. Angie cries.
FLOWER Don’t cry. You can walk with Key Key and me.
Angie storms off.
FLOWER (cont'd) (Rejected she looks for Key Key) Where’s Key Key?
Jimica runs on. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#60
FLOWER (cont'd) (To Jimica on the bullhorn) WHERE’S KEY KEY!
Jimica changes into Key Key and begins to shake and rolls over.
FLOWER (cont'd) Oh Key Key. Did mama scare you with her new authority? Look Artie, Key Key rolled over. Did you just roll over and show Artie and mama your pink panties? Is that what you did? I’m gonna rub those pink panties. Yes I am. You like it when I rub your pink panties don’t you? Yes you do. Artie rub Key Key’s pink panties.
Flower drags Arthur down to Key Key and makes him rub the pink panties. Arthur is disturbed. (To Key Key) You wanna give us a kiss? You wanna give us a kiss while we rub your pink panties? Give us a kiss. Yes. Oh Yes.
Flower tongues Key Key while rubbing his pink panties. Key Key shakes. This goes on for a long time and should be disgustingly perverted. Everyone stops walking and watches in horror. Greeter walks off, enters with a bucket, looks at Flower kissing Key Key, and puke in his bucket.
GREETER Excuse me.
Greeter exits taking a road with him. Suddenly Key Key rolls over, growls, and runs off.
FLOWER (Voracious) Key Key. Come back here. I’m not done with you. I’m not done with you Key Key. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#61
Flower exits. Only Arthur, Beeka and Kelly remain.
KING ARTHUR (To audience) The greatest joy of my life would be to play a game and not remember who won. Mademoiselle Beeka, walk with me.
They walk. Arthur and Beeka are on a road together on the opposite end of the stage from Kelly’s road. Arthur has forgotten Kelly is there. Key Key runs by and off. Flower runs on wearing a nude body stocking with exaggerated genitalia and pubic hair that looks exactly like her white girl dreadlock hair (only in miniature size). In the world of the play she is naked.
FLOWER (Deranged sexual voraciousness) Key Key come rest your head on mama’s matted pudendum.
Flower runs off.
KING ARTHUR (To Beeka) You women have real body smells from not bathing and it makes me think you are dirty in another way. How can I not want to be dirty with you?
BEEKA I no speak English.
KING ARTHUR Yes. You are no cock. You are fine, no speaking, chicken.
Arthur kisses Beeka. She slaps him. He slaps her back harder. He puts his hand over Beeka’s mouth and restrains her. She shakes her head no. He drags her off. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#62
Kelly, who has seen the whole thing is petrified and confused. A cardboard car drives by.
KELLY (In shock) Car.
Key Key appears and speaks to us as a human.
KEY KEY Rest day. They will cook for you. Eat. Do your laundry. Sign up for the talent-no-talent show or just watch. It’s a short rest day. Only ten-minutes.
END OF ACT I The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#63
ACT II
The audience has barely settled into place from the intermission when Nick enters, anxious, and looking both ways. He is devilish. He puts many red dots on the map all over the place. He pulls someone up from the audience. He places a red dot on his head and whispers for them to say, “You are here”.
AUDIENCE MEMBER You are here.
He places a red dot on heart and whispers for them to say it again.
AUDIENCE MEMBER (cont'd) You are here.
He places a red dot on his crotch and whispers for them to say it again.
AUDIENCE MEMBER (cont'd) You are here.
NICK Hee hee.
Everyone enters. Jimica is dressed as if he is caught inside a tornado (his costume on top of his costume is the tornado).
GREETER Jimica? Is that you trapped inside that tornado?
JIMICA (A scream) Ahhhhhhhh!
Beeka enters playing a violent tornado electric guitar soundscape. Jimica spins and performs a trapped-in -a-tornado dance. All the walkers are flung about. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#64
WALKERS Ahhhhhhhhhh!
KELLY (Blowing in the wind) ANGIEEEEEE!
ANGIE (Reaching for him) KELLYYYYY!
KELLY/ANGIE Something’s happened. What? There’s something I have to tell you? What?
Angie is pulled off by the wind and Greeter is deposited in her place. They walk.
GREETER (To Kelly) A Tennessee mountain home.
KELLY Have you seen Angie?
GREETER I own a house there.
KELLY I lost her in the tornado.
GREETER People like us are there.
KELLY There’s something I have to tell her.
GREETER You like the planners so much: I will plan.
KELLY I saw something. King Arthur, I’m not sure but- The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#65
GREETER Come with me to Tennessee and be a fairy in the woods.
KELLY GREETER! I like you and all but-
GREETER None of that rejection. You couldn’t possibly know what you want. You’re young.
The tornado enters.
WALKERS Ahhhhhhhh!
Greeter and Kelly are blown off and Marsha is desposited into walking.
MARSHA (Accusing the audience of not walking) All these walkers. Too many walkers who are not walkers. Not here to make the world better. Only refugees from the life they didn’t want to have. Just sitting and waiting to take, take, take.
The tornado enters with all the walkers.
WALKERS AHHHHHHHH!
They are are blown off but Nick, Angie and Rainbow Carl are deposited into walking. Rainbow Carl wears a muumuu and his hair extensions are gone.
ANGIE They say this is the worst tornado season in all history.
RAINBOW CARL We had tornado in Belgium once. His name was Leopold and he went all the way to Congo and ate it.
ANGIE Carl’s tent blew away. He lost everything. His camera. All the photos of the walk. Even his hair extensions. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#66
RAINBOW CARL Only this muumuu, I find in lesbian free box, is left. (A beat) And now I think, is this what all of life will be forever? Have a home. No have a home. Fix a problem. Have another problem. Everyone running in panic grasping pebbles so they no fly away. As if without pebbles there be no earth. Only white and loneliness and forever. And this panic of feeling success is just failure biding its time, this is what it feel like to be activist. (Weeping and holding out his muumuu) This is what starting over looks like.
Jimica, in the tornado, and the walkers are blown on.
WALKERS AHHHHHHH!
MARSHA CAR!
A car flies in the air the walkers try to perform their gibberish action and are blown off with the Car.
WALKERS Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
Kelly, Flower and Marsha are left.
FLOWER I thought for sure we wouldn’t have to walk today because of the Tornado but everybody is so fucking committed.
Marsha stops walking and cries from the pain in her side.
FLOWER (cont'd) (To Marsha, furious) WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#67
Marsha stands up and walks off with great determination. Kelly glares at Flower.
FLOWER (cont'd) What? She’s dying and she can’t do anything and she screams all night from pain and keeps us up but she won’t leave. We should force her to go home where she can be taken care of.
KELLY She wants to see it through.
FLOWER But she just cries all the time. All she cares about is beating everyone when we walk. Getting there first and then gloating her victory and making us feel like we’re nothing. You can’t win with cancer people because they’re always right.
KELLY Then lose.
FLOWER What?
KELLY She’s old. She’s dying. Let her win. I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ Flower!
FLOWER There’s no winning. She’s lost. It’s time she accepted that. What kind of activists are we if we let people wallow in their pain? You’re too distracted by self-pity and your unrequited love for Jimica to pay attention.
KELLY What? Unrequited? What?
FLOWER I’m the one who sees her on the side of the road, unable to breath, not accepting help, forcing me to go ahead of her so she can catch up and pass me later and then make fun of how slow I am. (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#68
FLOWER (cont'd) How even the cancer lady can beat me. It’s not sane behavior. No. It has to stop. I’m writing her emergency contact person.
All the walkers are blown up and down the road.
WALKERS Ahhhhhhhhh!
Rainbow Carl is alone with Beeka.
RAINBOW CARL Waarom bent U zo droevig, mooie Vlaamse dame met Uw prachtige volle maans ogen?
Greeter is blown on with a sign that has the translation of what the Belgians say on it: “Why are you so sad, beautiful full-moon eye Flemish lady?” He’s blown off.
BEEKA (To Rainbow Carl) Zal je beloven het aan niemand te vertellen?
He’s blown on again: “Promise not to tell anyone?” He’s blown off.
RAINBOW CARL Ja.
He’s blown on again. “Yes”.
BEEKA Koning Arthur heeft zich met geweld aan mij opgedrongen.
He’s blown on and off again: “King Arthur forced himself on me”. Rainbow Carl pulls Flower on and grabs her bullhorn.
FLOWER Hey. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#69
Rainbow Carl speaks in Flower’s bullhorn.
RAINBOW CARL MEETING!
Everyone crawls on and into their meeting positions (having been through a tornado). Jimica is the only one absent. Nick puts his hand up in the air immediately and leaves it there through the entire scene, even when he’s called upon.
RAINBOW CARL (cont'd) (On the bullhorn) A woman who asked to go unnamed-
Beeka sobs.
RAINBOW CARL (cont'd) Has been sexually assaulted by King Arthur.
WALKERS (Horrified) Hu!
RAINBOW CARL We call consensus to kick Arthur out walk!
Flower tackles Carl for the bullhorn.
FLOWER (On her bullhorn bulldozing through so nobody can interrupt her) Are there any comments or questions? Yes. Me. Flower. You’re lying. And if one person says no to your proposal then it’s invalid. And I think it’s hypocritical of outsiders to kick an outsider out of a group of outsiders. So I vote-
RAINBOW CARL COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS!
Carl wrestles the bullhorn from Flower. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#70
RAINBOW CARL (cont'd) Nick.
Nick has a moment of not knowing what to do now that he’s finally been called upon.
RAINBOW CARL (cont'd) (On the bullhorn) COMMENT OR QUESTION - NICK!
A slight pause.
NICK Kelly raped me.
KELLY What?
NICK He raped me in a past life. I want a mediation between Kelly and I. IT’S MY RIGHT TO HAVE A MEDIATION!!!
Nick has an emotional/physical breakdown while falling to the ground. The breakdown should be choreographed and repeatable.
KELLY It’s true.
WALKERS (Shocked) Huh!
KELLY Not the Nick part the King Arthur part.
WALKERS (Disturbed) Oh.
KELLY I saw him do it. I didn’t do anything. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#71
ANGIE (A quiet shaming of him) Kelly.
KELLY I didn’t understand what I was looking at. I thought people like us, we don’t do things like that-
MARSHA Ugh!
KING ARTHUR (He breaks down crying) I am discovered.
KELLY I’m so ashamed.
Kelly has the exact same emotional breakdown that Nick did.
ANGIE Should we call the cops?
MARSHA (Brandishing scissors and approaching King Arthur’s genitalia) The people can police themselves.
FLOWER (Throwing herself between Marsha and Arthur) Noooooooo! It’s not his fault. He has PTSD or his parents abused him or all the neighborhood kids would tease him cuz he never had a crib. Only his mother’s dirty underwear draw. He’d spend all his hours alone and set up her unwashed panties like they were his harem. He’s community. He’d name them, listen to their sorrow and add his tears to their stains. And one day the panties were so ripened and kind to him he fell in love and would practice his slobbery kisses in their centers and soon the kissing turned into a voracious consumption of their womanly fetor. Which turned him into the man you see now. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#72
Flower has the exact emotion/physical breakdown that Nick did.
ANGIE I vote kick him out. We can’t shut down the test site if we’re always distracted by humanity! I should never have joined this walk. My mother told me. She said activist never accomplish anything. (To Arthur) You! YOU MADE MY MOTHER RIGHT!
Angie has the exact emotional/physical breakdowns as Nick.
GREETER (Slapping King Arthur with his fan) What do you have to say for yourself.
Greeter has the same emotional/physical breakdown as Nick.
MARSHA My cancer!
Marsha has the same emotional/physical breakdown as Nick.
NICK I see now why Americans elect actor as president. Because you are all actors.
WALKERS (Stopping their convulsions to be offended) Huh!
KING ARTHUR (Crying) When I was very little I was who my loved ones wanted me to be. Now I am what my enemies planned for me. Do not listen.
They listen to him. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#73
KING ARTHUR (cont'd) I’ve told you who I wish to be and not who I am. I am no activist. I am nothing but lies. Even these tears are lies.
He takes off his long-haired biker wig revealing a short-haired wig underneath.
WALKERS Huh!
He takes off his short-haired wig revealing a bald head underneath that.
WALKERS (cont'd) Huh!
He takes off a bald-cap revealing his normal hair underneath that.
WALKERS (cont'd) HUH!
NICK I made a wet spot.
FLOWER (Sitting up) Please speak only if your question or comment is about the proposal!
GREETER What’s the proposal?
FLOWER Do we want to be a group of meanie people who ban Artie from the community?
WALKERS Yes!
FLOWER Are there any blocks. Yes. Block. Right here. Block. I block you. Ugh. Ugh. I block you. Ugh. We do not have consensus. Ugh! The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#74
Jimica, in his tornado, enters. Everyone but Kelly and Angie are blown off.
WALKERS AHHHHHHHH!
KELLY It could have been beautiful. It could have been a unified front. Even if it wasn’t successful it could have had beauty.
ANGIE Kelly.
KELLY What.
ANGIE I’m in love with a man. I’m in love with Rainbow Carl.
KELLY You’re a lesbian.
ANGIE But I can accomplish something with him. Together we can shut down all the test sites in all the nations. He makes me believe this. Love is what a real community is. And I love him. I even love his infected lip-piercing.
KELLY You’re a lesbian.
ANGIE But I’ll never be able to achieve anything with Marsha. When she makes love to me I want to vomit. I go through the motions and say loving things to her but inside all I’m thinking is, I hope her cancer kills her sooner than later.
KELLY Oh my. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#75
ANGIE I’m evil. (Passive aggressively getting him to understand) I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t know you’d understand.
KELLY Okay?
ANGIE Oh pooch, it’s so wonderful. When you fall in love other people don’t matter.
Slight pause as Kelly considers this.
ANGIE (cont'd) I’ve told you and I won’t tell anyone else. The dykes will go ballistic. The number one rule in dyke culture is you can’t leave your girlfriend for a man. Especially a girlfriend whose dying of cancer. If they find out, they’ll make me the enemy instead of the test site. I won’t be a distraction from our plan to shut it down. So I’ll just bear it until the end of the walk and become one of those people who get anxiety attacks from keeping too many secrets.
KELLY Angie!
ANGIE And once the walk is over I’ll get my passport and go to Belgium with him.
KELLY What?
ANGIE I’m making a new plan.
KELLY Without me?
ANGIE It’s time for us to experience things different from what we know. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#76
KELLY Maybe I’ll come to Belgium too.
ANGIE You need to find your own path pooch.
KELLY I don’t mean with you. I mean with Jimica. Assuming he survives the tornado.
ANGIE Jimica is with Beeka.
KELLY But he calls me Wigglebutt.
A musical exclamation from Beeka.
KELLY (cont'd) (Suddenly sobbing) I’m such a fucking idiot.
ANGIE I thought you knew.
KELLY Buy me a bus ticket back to six months ago.
ANGIE Hey, hey, hey, Pooch, it’s okay?
KELLY (Pulling himself together) It’s fine. I’m fine. I deserve it. Oh god.
He sobs.
ANGIE I didn’t know you felt so strongly about him.
KELLY I don’t. Everyday it seems I care less and less about the world. (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#77
KELLY (cont'd) Greeter was talking about how people who live in St. George, Utah, down wind of the test site, have the highest cancer rate in America and I thought, “Fucking move!” Why is it my problem? Why can’t they just fucking move. Who cares? I used to care but once you become callused and bitter you can’t ever be truly kind again. I ate meat for the first time in ten years. I didn’t care. I saw it and I thought, fuck those cows in their factory farms. I want want want. When will we make things right? When will this walk be over? You’re gonna leave.
ANGIE It’s okay Pooch.
KELLY I try to change the world but why? Why would I want to change the world and make it a better place for these people. I can’t stand these people. I’m one of these people. We’re getting closer and closer to the test site and I’m getting further and further away from caring about it. You’ve fallen in love and all I do is... watch. Watch and eat textured vegetable protean. Nothings real. Not even me.
ANGIE Hey, hey, hey. What’s that! Don’t say that.
KELLY I’m finished. I’m fine. It was just a bourgeois crisis. I’m fine. I feel like a stone.
ANGIE Pooch, I think, I say this as your friend, your friend whose known you your whole life, I think you should let Greeter love you.
KELLY Eww.
ANGIE Go with him to Tennessee. You don’t know how to make plans on your own and he wants to take care of you. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#78
KELLY (Sobbing) I’m just a baby.
ANGIE You like him enough and he knows how to survive and get things done. I know he’s.... old and annoying but he means well and there’s nothing wrong with using someone until you get your bearings.
KELLY I think I might have come here to find a cute guy to love me. Maybe I don’t care about the issues. I don’t want to be that person but maybe I am. I should move to a city and go to the gym. (Seeing the approaching tornado) Oh shit. Not again.
The tornado enters and the walkers are blown about.
WALKERS Ahhhhh!
Angie is blown off. Greeter is blown on in his underwear. Kelly is alone with him.
KELLY Greeter?
GREETER Yes?
KELLY I like you.
Kelly takes off an item of clothing.
KELLY (cont'd) You have a lot to offer.
Kelly continues to take off items of his clothing, during the following, until he stands in his underwear. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#79
KELLY (cont'd) I think I’ll move with you to Tennessee as long as we finish what we’ve started here and shut down the test site. Okay?
GREETER Okay?
KELLY We need to accomplish something concrete. Then all our frailty will have been worth it. Finish this with me. Please.
Greeter runs over to the map. He takes a dot off. Another and another and another until they are all gone. He gives a dot to Kelly and points to the Nevada Nuclear Test Site. Kelly puts the dot on the test site.
KELLY (cont'd) Thank you.
Greeter kisses Kelly with too much tongue all over his face. The cast (except Nick, Marsha and Arthur) entering wearing gorgeous sequins gowns with chains that look like beauty pageant sashes. Nick has a mohawk. After a long time Kelly puts his hand up between he and Greeter.
KELLY (cont'd) Okay enough!
Kelly looks at the audience.
KELLY (cont'd) Columbus Day. 1992.
NICK We’ve arrived.
GREETER After nine months of walking. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#80
RAINBOW CARL To final destination.
ANGIE Here on the property line of the Nevada Nuclear test site.
FLOWER Action day.
They all get in racing positions.
JIMICA On marks, gets sets-
Marsha enters wearing a hospital gown (with the bare-back open). She takes the bullhorn from Flower.
MARSHA (On the bullhorn) TO THE BOWLING ALLEY!
They all run as a group and sing the Wakenhut song which will come in and out through the rest of the play (see sheet music). Two Wakenhuts enter. The Wakenhut outfit is part Keystone Cop and part Rent-A-Cop.
NICK THE WAKENHUTS ARE HERE!
WALKERS Ahhhhhh!
They scatter every direction. The Wakenhuts chase them off. Jimica and Kelly run on from different directions.
JIMICA Goodbye my Wigglebutt.
KELLY What? The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#81
JIMICA If Wakenhut catches me I be deported. They never let me back in America.
KELLY They’ll let you back in as long as you buy things.
JIMICA I am maker not buyer.
KELLY Perhaps I could visit you and... Beeka in Europe?
JIMICA To Europe yes, but you will not come to Belgium. We are a passing through country. We are truck stop. You will go to Paris and Rome and perhaps you will see me from window of train and think, who is that? Do I know that person? Yes. Oh. I used to care so much about that person but now. Now I have life.
Nick enters from stage left being chased by a Wakenhut.
NICK The Wakenhuts are coming. The Wakenhuts are coming.
Flower enters from stage right being chased by a Wakenhut.
FLOWER RUUUUUUUUUN!
The Wakenhuts each run into Jimica from either side and begin to carry him off.
JIMICA (Calling to Kelly) Wigglebutt.
KELLY Jimica. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#82
JIMICA (Being dragged off by the Wakenhuts) If they let me back in, Beeka and I find you and sleep on your couch and never leave. And you want us to leave but we never leave.
Greeter and Nick run on.
NICK The Wakenhuts are coming!
JIMICA (Being dragged off) Goodbye America. Goodbye wonderful fat people.
Nick and Greeter sandwich Kelly.
KELLY (Turning and scared at seeing Nick) Ah.
NICK It’s just me.
KELLY That’s what scares me.
NICK Does my mohawk intimidate the rapist.
GREETER (To Nick) It’s racist against the Mohawk people to have a mohawk.
KELLY Greeter what are you doing here?
NICK Well there’s nothing to be done about it now so I need your support not your judgement.
KELLY (To Greeter) You have two priors. One more and they put you away for good. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#83
GREETER (To Kelly) I couldn’t let the youph have all the demonstration glory.
NICK Everyone has extreme haircuts. It’s action day. I’m not allowed to have an extreme haircut?
KELLY Greeter, go back this instant!
GREETER And that awful dye job. Really Nick.
KELLY (To Greeter) If you get put away for good we won’t be able to go to Tennessee together.
NICK I tried to get someone to dye my hair but they’re always busy with someone else.
GREETER Beautiful youph.
NICK Nobody dyes their hair who has no one to do it for them. Lonely people stay the way they are.
KELLY For my sake.
NICK I won’t be lonely. I won’t. I won’t.
GREETER Everything I do is for your sake.
NICK I won’t be scared of what you did to me Kelly.
GREETER You’re verve is a sun and we elderly are but the strip-mall you rise over. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#84
NICK I want a style that shows I won’t be scared of what you did to me.
KELLY (Stops running) Let it go Nick!
GREETER (Grabbing Kelly) But you must learn that sometimes all the opposition wants is for you to acknowledge their reality.
A pause as Kelly considers.
KELLY Greeter, moderate.
NICK What?
KELLY Moderate a mediation between Nick and I.
NICK But the Wakenhuts?
KELLY It’s now or never.
NICK Now.
GREETER I understand there is a grievance.
NICK Kelly raped me in a former life.
GREETER Kelly, do you have anything to say? The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#85
KELLY I have no memory of the event but I understand that you do and... I apologize. I apologize for raping you in a former life.
NICK (Weeping) Thank you.
KELLY Now do yourself a favor and be the first person ever to get to that bowling alley.
Nick looks off in the distance. Gears up and charges forth and off.
NICK YAAAAAAAAAA!
KELLY (To Greeter) Now you! Turn back this instant.
GREETER I couldn’t possibly make it back without getting caught. I was born a chaser who cannot run.
KELLY (A curse) Greeter!
GREETER I’ll sacrifice myself to the Wakenhuts and sleep in the bosom of a transsexual prostitute.
KELLY Maybe you can hide in the Bowling Alley.
GREETER You will never love me.
KELLY I don’t want to apologize for reality. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#86
GREETER Of course.
KELLY I used to think love was about staying up all night with someone while working on something useful, like a home or present, and stealing glances at each other until you couldn’t stand the pressure of being apart and made a different kind of thing together.
GREETER But now?
KELLY It seems love is something you have to shop for or accomplish. But I don’t know how to shop. Sales people scare me. And the walk is the only thing I’ve come close to accomplishing in my life and if I don’t get to that Bowling Alley I worry I’ll never care about anything ever again.
GREETER Only because all the things you care about have to do with winning. Your bus ticket is in the tent pocket. Tennessee. Go be surrounded by beautiful men who tickle your neck with whiskers. Let yourself win by losing.
FLOWER AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Flower runs by being chased by two Wakenhuts. She fakes them out and they stop chasing her and slowly approach Greeter and Kelly.
GREETER (Holding his arm out to shield Kelly from the Wakenhuts like a mom in a car does to her kids when she makes a sudden stop) It’ll be cold tonight. Your hoody is in the Kitchen trailer hanging behind the door.
KELLY Greeter don’t. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#87
Greeter runs to the Wakenhuts.
GREETER We’re here! We’re queer! And we’re NOT GOING SHOPPIIIIIIIIIIIING.
KELLY GREETEEEEEEERRRRR.
They grab Greeter and carry him away. Kelly runs off. Arthur walks by with Key Key, who poops. Arthur bends down and picks up the poop with a doggie bag.
KING ARTHUR The walk is coming to an end Key Key.
KEY KEY Let me go.
KING ARTHUR I can’t do that.
KEY KEY And yet you will.
KING ARTHUR What about your mistress?
KEY KEY If every soul decided to embrace world peace Flower would punch someone in the nose.
KING ARTHUR Though she has given you much.
KEY KEY She gives her need. And I want to exchange it to get back my saliva and sweat and cum.
KING ARTHUR I have done such evil. (Crying) (MORE) The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#88
KING ARTHUR (cont'd) Angie, Flower, Beeka, and gay boy. My bright-eyed proteges. I have made their empathy cloudy.
Arthur unleashes Key Key.
KING ARTHUR (cont'd) Go. Be free of this.
KEY KEY I will tell the Beaver of this deed.
KING ARTHUR Will they make the dance for me.
KEY KEY Not the one you hoped for.
Key Key gets down on all fours and runs away. Flower runs on.
FLOWER What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be watching Key Key. Where’s Key Key?
KING ARTHUR He is free.
FLOWER Free? (Shaking him) There is no free! There’s only looking for food!
Flower punches Arthur. A Wakenhut shows up.
FLOWER (cont'd) (Screaming) Ahhhhhhhh.
Flower runs off.
KING ARTHUR Take me, Sir Wakenhut. I let go. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#89
The Wakenhut walks Arthur off. Angie and Rainbow Carl run on from opposite directions.
RAINBOW CARL (Running) Angel Angie.
ANGIE Carl.
They embrace. Kissing too wet and just long enough to make it awkward and gross for the audience.
RAINBOW CARL I no longer want to be deported activist. I want to walk and wake up with my Angel Angie.
ANGIE Oh my player.
RAINBOW CARL But I must sacrifice you for greater cause.
ANGIE You don’t have to. I’ve made a plan to go with you to Belgium. Together. Right Carl? Together?
RAINBOW CARL Run with me.
They run.
RAINBOW CARL (cont'd) I’m sorry if I am arrogant. And if I teach too much. I’m afraid I always teach too much and often don’t know what it is I’m teaching. I hope you can see humor in this instead of only disdain.
ANGIE Of course.
RAINBOW CARL I do not think this, you coming to Belgium, is good thing. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#90
ANGIE Why?
RAINBOW CARL I think you no like Belgium.
ANGIE I’ll learn to like it.
RAINBOW CARL Is cold country.
ANGIE You’ll keep me warm.
RAINBOW CARL No. I and my girlfriend will make you very very cold.
ANGIE Oh.
RAINBOW CARL I sacrifice my freedom to stop nuclear test. I get deported and have baby with lesbian girlfriend in Belgium to stop nuclear test. I grow beer pooch and go bald and work in fish market with no surprise. All for greater cause.
ANGIE My heart is so still.
He goes to kiss her. Angie coughs.
KELLY (Entering in the distance ) The Wakenhuts are coming.
Angie weeps an ugly loud awkward weep. Wakenhuts surround them on all sides.
RAINBOW CARL (Running off) Get contact sheet. I am on contact sheet.
He runs off but the Wakenhuts catch him and drag him off. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#91
RAINBOW CARL (cont'd) Ahhhhhhh!
KELLY (Catching up to Angie) Run. Pull it together. Right this instant.
Kelly and Angie run. Marsha runs on with a rolling I.V attached to her arm. Her hair falls out during the following scene.
MARSHA Ho!
ANGIE (Crying again) Oh god.
MARSHA (While running) It’s okay. Let her cry. It’ll do her good. Angie. I know of your infidelities. But you’re my girlfriend and it’s okay. And we won’t talk about it. We won’t be like those other lesbians who talk everything to death. I’ll never make you feel guilty about this. I won’t be around long enough to make your life a hell.
Angie cries.
KELLY Okay enough. It’s okay. You’re okay. Pick up the pace.
ANGIE I’m fine. It’s over. I’m fine.
MARSHA She’s pulled herself together. She’s a champ.
ANGIE (Stopping) I don’t feel like saving the world.
KELLY Shit. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#92
ANGIE I don’t know what to plan.
KELLY I do. We go back to the original plan. We get to that goddamn bowling alley.
MARSHA Not before me you mother fuckers.
Marsha runs off.
ANGIE Okay.
Angie and Kelly run. Flower runs on.
FLOWER Hey guys. Have you seen Key Key? Everyone’s going away. I don’t know what I’ll do when all this ends. You’re my best friends. How can you live and share so much with people and suddenly they vanish? And I won’t even have Key Key. It’s okay. I’ll be fine. I took something special for the protest. I think it’s just kicking in now. It’s made the sunrise go away as if I’m in perpetual pre-dawn with no chance of tomorrow.
A Wakenhut appears.
FLOWER (cont'd) Key Key?
KELLY That’s a Wakenhut. Flower!
Angie and Kelly run off.
FLOWER Key Key.
Flower runs to the Wakenhut who drags her off to the paddy wagon. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#93
FLOWER (cont'd) Key Key. What are you doing? Don’t do that. Key Key. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
Marsha and Nick run on, being chased by Wakenhuts.
MARSHA I see the bowling alley.
NICK It’s a mirage.
MARSHA No it’s the bowling alley.
NICK You’re hopped up on morphine.
MARSHA You’re trying to trick me!
Marsha pushes Nick back towards the Wakenhuts.
NICK What are you, what, no, no, NOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Wakenhuts carry Nick off. Marsha runs counting down in pain. During her countdown the running turns to crawling.
MARSHA 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2- (Reaching out towards the unseen Bowling Alley) Win.
She dies. A Wakenhut enters and drags her off -stage. All is quiet. From the paddy wagon we hear singing, which continues for the rest of the play. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#94
WALKERS (Off or barely visible in a paddy wagon) Rockin’ the paddy wagon Rockin’ the paddy wagon Rockin’ the paddy wagon Rockin’ the paddy wagon
Kelly, Angie and Beeka run on.
KELLY (To Angie) I’m leaving tomorrow and probably won’t see you for some time.
ANGIE I’d tell you to write me but I don’t know where I’m going.
KELLY Is that okay?
ANGIE (Apprehensive) It’s new. Kelly?
KELLY What?
ANGIE What if we fail?
KELLY What if we fail the action?
ANGIE I guess.
KELLY If we were winners we wouldn’t care about making things better.
They run. The singing continues.
KELLY (cont'd) What’s that singing? The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#95
ANGIE It’s a protest song. Most everyone’s been arrested and the walkers have filled up the paddy wagons.
KELLY It’s one of those songs that just keeps going.
ANGIE And the finish is always a little defeat.
KELLY They just peter out.
They slowly stop running looking out.
KELLY (cont'd) Angie?
ANGIE Yeah?
KELLY It’s not stupid what were doing is it?
ANGIE Maybe.
KELLY But it’s not pointless?
ANGIE No.
KELLY There are stakes right?
ANGIE Yes.
KELLY Real sorrow that should be addressed.
ANGIE Yes. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#96
KELLY Even if, in all the mess, you fail to address it?
ANGIE When things are wrong people should at least try to make them better.
KELLY Even if they make things worse?
ANGIE I think so.
KELLY Because failure is just success biding its time?
They start slowly running again.
ANGIE Kelly?
KELLY Yeah.
ANGIE If decades do go by...
KELLY And Nuclear bombs still exist?
ANGIE And people continue to be destroyed?
KELLY And peace never comes?
ANGIE What then?
A pause while they run and the walkers sing in the background.
KELLY They do sing beautifully. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#97
Lights fade. The song vanishes. Kelly, Angie, and Beeka run in silence. All we hear is their breath. Lights out. End of Play. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#98
TEXT AND SONGS TO BE PERFORMED DURING THE INTERMISSION/REST DAY
Various things happen during the intermission/rest day all at the same time: tents are set up; the audience are served soup (if they brought their own mug as they’re instructed to do when they buy their ticket) that has been cooked during the first act; there is a talent/no talent show that audience members can sign up for and do up to 10 seconds of performance; rehearsed numbers are also performed in the talent/no talent show; laundry is hung; card games are had; literature is passed out; hair is hennaed or braided or beaded; fake tatoos are offered; two people in the men and women’s bathroom are giving themselves whore baths. During the intermission the actors should be themselves just having a good time with the audience and not in character.
SONGS PERFORMED IN THE TALENT/N0 TALENT SHOW
KING OF FILIGREE
KELLY (cont'd) He does the morning wake-up in a wide-awake. His chiffon dress dangles in clay. Streaks of blue leak from his hair mixed in with batik moiré. He beats the tom-tom slowly. His banter call, stirs the players free. It’s another day I’m after a bacchanal with the King of Filigree. Another day I’m after a bacchanal with the King of Filigree.
I will follow blindly in each aftermath For my crooked toothed gem I’m a string. He dangles and droops me, trolls and then scoops me up without anything. I’ll never be the catch I’m hoping for and I drip from the morning’s debris. The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#99
It’s another day I’m after a bacchanal with the King of Filigree. Another day I’m after a bacchanal with the King of Filigree.
There’s a light touch gleaming from each beat and breath. Though to me the need seems so extreme. Will it happen tomorrow is the day’s daily sorrow and tomorrows redoing. The walking hours end with no decree and the night commandeers me with dreams of another day I’m after a bacchanal with the King of Filigree. Another day I’m after a bacchanal with the King of Filigree.
THE PRINCE OF HADES
RAINBOW CARL Frogs.
JIMICA Toads.
RAINBOW CARL Peepers.
JIMICA On roads.
RAINBOW CARL Croak
JIMICA Spoke
RAINBOW CARL Of the reaper’s payload
RAINBOW CARL/JIMICA He pulled apart their sections To fill his collections Retired his tires that squashed his load
JIMICA Ribbit The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#100
RAINBOW CARL Skip it Record as we go Note it
JIMICA Wrote it And got the min-
RAINBOW CARL (The minnow gets away from him) No.
RAINBOW CARL/JIMICA Amphibian wonder Is what we will plunder A choir of ire with no maestro.
RAINBOW CARL/JIMICA (cont'd) They sing in forums. In quagmire quorums Of lonesome Belgians Of timeworn wisdoms.
The song that they behold Is one of Leopold Kissed by a madam’s maid he’s turned to Prince of Hades
RAINBOW CARL Frogs.
JIMICA Toads.
RAINBOW CARL Peepers.
JIMICA On roads.
RAINBOW CARL Croak The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#101
JIMICA Spoke
RAINBOW CARL Of the reaper’s payload
HEARTLAND
ANGIE/KELLY Particularly in the heartland Where the wheat and corn do grow. Where the flatness swallows What the birds can follow What the wind can chase or bow.
Particularly in the heartland where I lost my love, you know. She grew sad and sadder with her dress a tatter and her worries weeps, and woe.
And I tried to calm her with the gifts I brought her with my love and apropos
But she cried so deeply for I lied too sweetly that the crows would all forgo.
And it makes you wonder, how’d we get so under all the sorrow traps and shows
It’s a skill I’s thinkin’. As I stood there sinkin’, should I sway or should I go?
Particularly in the Heartland, where the skies and sighs do glow, We did leave to wander, now we grieve and ponder All the loss we’ve come to know The Walk Across America For Mother Earth version 01-24-11 pg#102
Particularly in the heartland.
Particularly in the heartland
ANTI-CHRISTIAN AGIT-PROP SONG
WALKERS We won’t go to the godly realm where they say all the good do dwell. Where the saved and the blighted elm grow again in angelic swell.
We won’t rest in the evermore or be blessed on the holy hill. And the dead won’t be sorry for any deeds that the living will.
For there’s blood in heaven, raining up through the clouds, staining all the white flowing gowns.
We won’t go to the paradise where the pure are said to reign. We won’t go to their sacrifice or be sold into their domain.
We’ll be free from this pious blight. We’ll be free from this pathogen and the earth, despite righteous right, will remain as the land of men.
And the blood in heaven will immerse all the vowed ‘ til they drown with their fallen crown!
End of Intermission/Rest Day material.