p e R G e p T I o N 5 T
G.~~ lC@llll~~~ A unit of the University System of Geo~ A pu!ilication of the'llumanities Division and Student Affairs Vol. X 1991
Perceptions Staff Perceptions is a creative arts magazine published by the Humanities Division and Student Activi ties Editor of Gai nesville College to encourage the arts among Sheila Casper students, faculty, and friends of the college. Some 6779 of the works published herei n are the crea ti ve products of art and writing classes; others are Art Editor contributions from fri ends of the creative arts.
Beth Baltes All unsolicited manuscripts and artwork should be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed en Computer Operations velope. While care will be exercised in handling these materials, the editorial staff ca nno t assume Blake Wilkie responsibility for them in the event of damage or loss. Submit all materials to Brad Strickland, Humanities Division, Gainesville College, Box Editorial Staff 1358, Gainesville, Georgia, 30503. Andrea Blachly Elsie Nelson Authors and artists retain all rights to their works in this publication. Pam Niles Jason Rimeik
Faculty Advisors Brad Strickland FOR REFERENCE Robert Westervelt 1r NOT TO BE TAKEN FROM THE ROOM Special Thanks To: The Anchor Staff The English Club II Oscar Patton Diane Wheeler cover. oi.l painting Sally Russell Beth Baltes ink wash Thomas Sauret " ljthe doors ojperception were cleansed (Q) - Barbara Thomas every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. " -William Blake N § Art Beth Baltes 1 ink wash 1Ii water color n graphite drawing :Ii graphite drawing StlndrlJ Butler J.1. pen and ink Gloria Kirby J!! pen and ink David uster .'ill computer graphic Richie McDowell .IIi computer graphic Bobby Nash 1S computer graphic l.eslie Ogino 1S computer graphic Joey Quillian 111 pen and ink Brntda Smith ~ watercolor 111 pen and ink II watercolor raft Step""" l graphite drawing is graphite drawing Wayne Vinson II pen and ink /oannll Wallington i graphite drawing II oil painting Suzanne Watkins ii oil painting ueWells 51 oil painting Robert Weftervelt :u pen and ink Diane Wheeler cover. oil painting Blab Wilkie 5i computer graphic Drama Claire Porter is "'Convenience Store Play"'·
'7hird-Pl4CC Winner fpr One-Act P 1 4 ~ CstezoQl. SQuthern LjtffllQl fCStjvSl 1991
Prose John Bailey .M A Farewell Letter Kevin Dodds 12. "'Perkins' All-Nile Cafe"
Emily Duncan 16. II A Mossy Creek Christmas" Chris Lambert: 3i "Reginald"· Jason Rimeik 52 Two Stories - Brad Strickland .ti "The Wasp" ·Second-Pl,," Winner for Short Sto'1l Catego'1l' Southern LjtgrqC)l fCS tiv,,11991
-2- Taft Stephens graphite drawing Pc:w~ Scott Bagwell 111 "Never So Blessed" Andrea Blachly :u "Courage" 15 "The Mirror'" William. D. Brown Z "Death" 20 "Junk" 6 "Wine in the Concrete Imagination" Sheila Casper 8 "The Wicked Witch of North Avenue" .l.l "The Yellow Toothbrush'" Kevin D. Dodds 111 "Accepting Responsibility'" 6 "Burning Desires'" :u "Inspiration'" li "Retrospective Loungers'" Emily Duncan .l.l "A Definition of Loye'" 20 "Looking Past His Grave" Ally Eidson Z "Oil" Garry Ke'Merrit 20 "Acceptance.... :Ii "Introspection'" :u "Unconditional Regard'" JoanM Marlin :u "The Final Fall'" Elsie Nel.on 12 "Drums of War'" :Ii "'Things That Last" Katherine S. O'Neill Z "The Great American Machine'" :u "To Sting" Claire Porler 18. "Mirror"" ! r( '? ~~ 1.\' ) "10 "'1 .$",:'11, Jason Rimeik 12. "My Desert Storm" no: . '0) ' ", .. "I,.. 1/ Lisa Roberts .u " All That Matters" 11"1 , ' '' ~ '11\ " « .,1> r \ ... . n • '" .u. "A Widow's Monday" ·t."c;,.. "'·'1 \ Shannon Robert, .u. "Trouble, Trouble Everywhere" ·' ''0 \ ',-~ . Sally Russell 11 "Saying Grace at the Airport Coffee Shop.... Barba,." T. 12 "Exercise'" Dennis Tinslt!y 2.1 "Friend or Foe'" 18. "My Perfect World'" Devre Day Turner 15. "Foiled'" Sallee Jo Wade 10. "Cages and Categories'" .u. "Returning the Gift'" Ian E. Wlfitlaw II "The Silent Blood of Poets" Butch Wilkie n "The Rose Bows" Special Featur-es Blab Wilkie and Jason Rimeik .5i Tribute to Desert Storm Troops Elsie Nelson and Andrea Blachly ~ Who's Who in Perceptions 1991
Brenda Smith watercolor
-4- Wine in the Concrete Imagination Death
I know an old man The Great American Machine Death came to my room with a scorched, sidewalk tongue Yesterday. who knows concrete wisdom. Give me your tired, He was in disguise; Give me your poor, stole my lover's His wife left him once Trade in your sorrows body. And now J'm his son. for a newer form. Threw the sheets over He drinks too much and my eyes and doesn't know why he's here either. Melting pot or tossed salad stole my socks. He says he drinks to remember, but the world is mine to be devoured But all I wanted that's only for show. I am the great American Machine was another drink. God's most perfect most beautiful thing. Once he was a big man. .. William D. Brawn The world was spare change Praise the Grand ole Stars and Stripes in his hand. given to me in a vision of light Now he's a street scholar. I assure you what I say is just Yeah. He knows the price. In Oppenheimer do we trust. He knows aU the secrets if you believe him. Red stripes pay honor to Negro backs And I agree with everything he says, the miner's caresses are the white Lean back, The stars how they twinkle, like silver spurs dose my eyes, to incite the greedy beast of labor. and drink. I am the city upon the hill Oil .. William D. Brown from which the acid rain spills I am Mother Nature's only heir She' s still alive?- What do I care? The oil at my feet glows with each movement Blessed be those of Manifest Destiny of the wind. the will has been drawn, just kill two million indians I sit and watch it genocide is all right if it's for a good. cause fora moment and after all I deserve it all! All the colors blending together Why waste on savages things he can use How beautiful I think Burning Desires when I know best how they're abused? As r began to walk away The people, the land, I'll exploit I see a very sad sight Whatever's left I'll just destroy. What I thought to be the wind As wispy vines of smoke climb moving the colors all around from the end of a newly lit cigarette, Give me your tired is really a small ant curling about her head and blossoming give me your crude trying to survive near the ceiling, I'll use what I can Butl slowly walk away. she is caught pondering something like a past life. you can have the fumes. • Ally Eidson Each moment it bums away, They tell me I'm dying. killing myself stirred only by her gentle breath. they say that there' s only so much left. But I can't be swayed. by communist schemes Now, finished and nothing but a cold filter that t am the great American Machine. slips from her fingers, crushed, dying. • Katherine S. O'Neill fading from one last ember into extinction.
A new thought comes, and she lights another .
.. Kevin Dodds -7- The Wicked Witch of North Avenue
At Halloween She would give us painted cat cookies with funny names, like "clit" or "gonad" ; we would make them fight until they were crumbs. Her son would jump out from behind the mini- van, and he'd scare u s all away.
She'd take walks at night, her blond hair glowing like a haim et of fireflies - her boy would trail after her, reading Nasfa ratus by the light of her head.
We'd hear her shouting magic spells inside her house, (perhaps changing the kids into turt1es or frogs). the china didn't survive the last argument. The first-born would hang from the ce ilin ~ a shrieking, sightJess bat.
We were kids and we would make fun of her- the beautiful housewife who would never be a movie-star, the Stephen King mother who owned an extensive collection of pawns.
Her children were voo-doo dolls and we'd see them at school, ( sporting a pin in the head or a noose around the neck.
We were afraid to look into Junior's hazel eyes they pleaded too much and were mirrors of maternal madness.
We are older now, we are all ashamed. The witch's son never learned how to reverse the incantations.
- Sometimes at midnight we see them flying through the tepid air, she, cradling this dead man in her arms.
• Sheila Casper
Joanna Wallington graphite drawing -8- Never So Blessed Cages and Categories Saying Grace at the Airport Coffee Shop Inspiration One was never so blessed. As I, by your Grace Her kisses linger on the edge Would have been enough Cages and categories And why not? of last Wednesday's coffee cup, unwashed To give me life are only temporary Stale smoke add brew limp fries still and among other dishes. Enough that if I confinements do not preclude prayer. O h Lord My Muse leaves me should praise your name one-thousand years nothing else when she leaves me. I would not have begun to express For someone you want for what we are about to recieve the gratitude deserved to know better. Pages spread before me But also to receive a family going up are an emptiness she fiUs who loves me with all their hearts They are the holding places staying there with my pen, A world filled with Nature's beauty for what cannot getting there but not while she is away. And (riends with which to pass the all-too-short time be contained, going down Lord, my cup runneth over I speak her name to call please show me the way Until you real-eyes tha t. make us truly grateful. her home; she does not answer That I may share my wealth. when I need her most. When defying a law as serious as gravity • Sallee fa Wade who would suggest So I am left with nothing • Scott Bagwell divine intervention when she leaves me. is ever out of the question? • Kevin D. Dodds Joey Quillian pen and ink • Sally Russell
To Sting The Rose Bows Swimming laps in the school's pool my mind drifts out to sea The rose is truly If I were ever washed overboard a lovely flower. How far could I swim to safety? It makes all others Would 1 know which way to go? bow before its throne.
I fear the cold of darkness There is only one She wraps her children in ice other however, just to leave them alone That can make the I hide from the light of day rose bow. His hot eye scrutinizes, - a flush of red to my face And you are the one that can make the rose How long can I drift against probability Bow its majestic head till thirst and fatigue drag me beneath at your throne. and the despair of circumstance forces my breath to fl ee • Butch Wilkie Will you swap prayers with me? • Kntherine S. O'Neill -11- "1 Courage The Final Fall Courage is Leaves released from trees like paratroopers living as an embryo from static lines, float toward the earth in a world of pain swaying. catching the wind, whirling, falling and surviving in gentle spirals to the ground
Courage is Leaves once green, transfonned overnight into breathing in air amber, gold and crimson, now camouflaged when death's vapors in earth's brown hues. Hundreds, no thousands attempt to choke sprint before the wind, glorious, free
Courage is Leaves race across the open field, numbers checked a chick flying midway, pinned down, compacted in shadowed (rom the nest and trenches like troops stopped in battle no ground underneath stilled forever by brass death
Courage is Leaves charge forward before the wind to a twisted waving the red flag wire fence in a frenzied dance until halted in front of the charging bull stopped short by the crooked barricade and facing his deadly hom of man. They stir, restless, rustling, waiting
Courage is Leaves feed a fire, omnivorous flames race with life itself raging abandon along the tortured wire, Once living small people live in (ear green shoots that waltzed in the spring rain, writhe I will live in courage wither and vanish in a white hot fury
Leaves, like soldiers, consumed
It Joanne Martin
\ • Andrea Blachly All That Matters
Anna called to see how you were. It doesn't matter. Phone lines cannot connect two souls.
Mollie met you for lunch. It doesn't matter. Breaking bread isn't a sin.
lenna helped you with physics. It doesn't matter. - Chemistry is what causes emotions to overflow.
You say I'm the one you dream about, and ThaYs a ll that matters. But your dream might tum into a nightmare.
lfLisa Roberts Joanna Wallington oil painting
-12- - Bobby NilS" computer graphiC -13- Retrospective Loungers Foiled The Mirror I. Morning bed My life was a shiny mirror, Foiled, that's what! An evening couch, when the draperies fl ames dripping.. the reflection appeared unflawed; Foiled. the heat of day passes But upon that crafty looking glass, How did I get foiled? reflected in your eyes. a million cracks were slowly shod. By the years; they took their toll. One arm flung across the arm, Merciless they passed. a hidden pout beneath fin e midnight strands. If pain and fear were visible, They left no lasting memories, You need not say you own me. I'd not soon then as cracks they would appear; No real sadness - nor gladness. disagree, fo r you've not ever bartered or sold, They would scamper always doser, They just came and went and each time, but kept me near. but with love would disappear. They took a part of me. One hand beckons from your waist; I was so busy maturing.. Each crack began so subtly, Learning to assert myself. One hand of mine dissents. You need me, also, as sand grains fl ying on the wind; Growing.. it was so easy to let go creating this meal matched by wine and candles. But as the time grows ever longer, And let time take care of everything. We are sated for but a moment, when you command none of these cracks will unbend. Time did, the mean old fellow that he is. once more, leading with a fuller bottle. He fill ed the years as cleverly Tiger. We laugh at the games we play I am that cracked looking glass, And sprung his trap so unsuspectedly. in night breezes, blowing sheets and cooling these cracks push me around the bend; And because I'm wound about your dark skin that warms me. Down in down, And soon thi s pretty glass will shatter, With so many encumbering situations, close and tight, two silvers lie fa ce to face. a thousand pieces for me to mend. I can't break loose. Sleep is the order, so I'll not worry the half.·empty And age is the biggest draw back. glass beside our twilight bed. Life was simpler as a mirror, First one's too young. then too old. one whole piece refl ecting the glare; Time doesn't care, In the dawn, sanguine streaks the walls. But I must li ve the broken Hfe, He's too old to care. t retum to retrieve a forgotten tie; a;; bits af glass are casier to share. But I'm nol. you've awakened, lie silent, but the imp speaks in your eye, I care. smiling at me, neither the daylight or night master ... • Andrea Blachly And 1 don' t like being foiled. now, in our morning bed. I want to break loose.
II. Intimate Strangers It Devre Day Turner Shy eyes lost, we need neither modesty nor our wardrobe's hindrances. So that with curtains drawn against the world, we bare our souls and bodies nightly. Coming together without forethought; love and lust are rarely confusing to us .. Jor the ncar-perfect union we share is pure and remains beyond compare to any baser couplings.
How she now slumbers in my arms so soundless ... I press the skin in gently, caress the arm, thigh, and breast. She knows that I am pleased in all of her but little suspects - that I am disconsolate in the flesh. We rest, two bodies run together but for the envelopes of our skin's thin layers, preventing the mingling I so desire, to be truly as one.
Before the night, will we never be more than intimate strangers, wondering lovers' wandering and empty thoughts, fears of partings in years to come?
• Kevin D. Dodds -14- Exercise
Ah, You were the #1 Narcissist false god of the '80's, When you reached your peak, Maybe because all that left-over energy (rom the 70's Had to have another outlet And you're doing well into the '9O's
Ah, You have many names and fonns There's aerobics, jazzercise, jogging, running, dand ng, walking. bicycling, And you have many temples There's La Spa, Holiday, Fimess, And the list goes on
Ah, You have many priestesses With Jane Fonda being your primary And then there's all the other nameless beauties from every age and profession Their robes are varied in color and fann From the skin-tight tights, in colors of black, to purple passion, and hot pink To short-shorts, with skin-tight tee shirts with matching headbands
Ah, TIle monotonic sounds to you are many and varied From stretch it out To get it down And move it now And then there are the Squats and all-powerful sit-ups
Ah, When your followers speak of you They do so with such interest and in such loving terms-- whole conversations can be devoted solely to you- From the intensity of their voices, such as Ohhh, I'm SO sore
It Barbara T. -17- My Perfect World My Desert Stonn I am scared; I am scared.
A coasting two wheeled steel machine gathering space behind it. I lie in booming silence; Though I hold up no daisies, my feelings are the like. bathing in its fierceness, I dwell upon its peace. I am scared, The bearings in the hub twist and tum, Silver birds streak near the heavens; for I, too, am but a worm; while the wheel spins at over 300 RPM's. they probe the earth searching. I could be plucked from my hole at any time. A simple concept. These birds search for worms, any worms. Maybe I'll be plucked not at all. Wind tickles the rider's earlobes and moistens the face. The earth beneath seems a blur. Upon sight they lower their talons, Damn! The patterns blend together. preparing to strike; The only constant object in sight is the bright (ann of a crescent hanging in front. the birds draw near the earth, • Jason Rimeik sensing that targets are near. A sense of control and power sudderuy hits. I must not move; A dela ~Dennis Tinsley Can this be? Truck, taxi, and bus drivers Is it possible to be saJe from all harm, Travel across the land safe from the invisibles? Shoppers crowd city streets This question I cannot answer; A vendor loads his stand Accepting Responsibility I must, Nurses and doctors prepare for surgery Mirror no, They don their masks and gowns There was something in the drink you gave me. I will just chance it. Today, however, is different Second story rocking wood I fell to my knees proclaiming Sadness blankets the town. indian style my lust and desires to touch It is hot; Seville behind barking at boats your hair. I reek of the salty moisture; Salesmen, lawyers, and bankers arms neck head it beads upon my face. Begin their day hang out over. sly seductress. Wonderful witch. Meeting at McDonald's and Hardee's Cussing, Cotton, curling intestines Brewer of potions. Designer The wind swirls; And at the comer cafe shine up of charms to trap me. it brings and stirs unfinished, People dressed in casual wear and jeans a murky imitation of heavens. unstarted glass. Will be eating there at noon Morning b-esses washed across a pillow The old and new glass rises Today, however, is different GRRRAHWK! beside my head. Was it regret to dance with the wind, They debate the shadowy doom. GRRRAHWK! or something warmer that choked me when I found resting at inteTVals, - say hawks. my smile upon your lips? placing itself all about me, Church bells chime, You slept. never forgetting to envelope me. Politicians ask for prayer Pop-eyed gills, scaled sheaths People pray the Hawk's demise, their slimy blaze bearer. Sb-and stringer. The glass surrounds me. Who never prayed before; twins Touched my freezing nose and offered Forever. America has mixed emotions as bu. to thaw it. r have no place to wander, She hears the drums of war. Safe in womb of warm lake. no place to run, How could I resist? yet, everywhere to hide. • Elsie Nelson ·Claire Porter • Kevin D. Dodds I am in a sea of glass, an oblivion; -18- my oblivion. -19- Looking Past His Grave In Memory of Paul Hennan Duncan 1920-1990 The Silent Blood of Poets A Widow's Monday I looked past his grave with eyes swollen There is spread wide open nothingness He's so handsome in his from the sleepless night before. I tossed in deepness Sunday suit I bought for him o ne my bed until my gown twisted. I did broken up by thin lines of blood; Saturday afternoon. no t mind the the soft flannel wrapped tight that pinned the only way the poet speaks. my legs to each othc·. I saw peace Misunderstood Wednesday was our lunch date among my restlessJl{;SS because the hills as quiet, introverted, eccentric, at Ruby Tuesday's. we stood on awoke with others it seemed and sometimes down right insane, 1' \1 go by myself, I guess. of Cherokee men slithering on clay feet to kill the poet talks loudest a deer fo r food and cloak for famliy. in silence. Saturday I'll watch old movies. Nestled between rising clusters of earth His words echo in your caverns: Joe Friday will be on at eight. a gathering of women and offspring c ri sp,deep,andlaye~. Dragnet was his favorite show. listened in silence-()nyx eyes conversed. Topaz like bronzed skin bathed our hills from fall Listen. Thursday I'll visit the ceme tery. as you became a part of the hills I saw. That is blood singing His grave'll be ready then. as it ripens on the page. Mo nday-what a way to start the week. • Emily Duncan Listen . The poet shows you his insides, .. Lisa Roberts at least listen and try to understand. You don't have the courage to do the same. • Ian E. Whitlaw Junk Brendll Smith pen and ink Beth Baltes gr.tphite drawing Long days in this metal-plated hothouse Acceptance with blood and wine and little white chips of freedom. The night was foggy and empty. You bake them well on The atmosphere felt dank against your mother's spoon. my q uivering denied flesh. It came from her wedding, you say I could hear the sound of my Style. Yeah. footsteps as they met the surface The damnation of innocence was of the never ending bridge. the bites on your arm that I was alone, and the earth was came so easily. a gray black destiny. No fear. I peered out from the rail of the bridge rA And SO we pass another hour here as only to see the fog growing thicker. dogs howl at the passing sirens. My vision getting weaker ' .-J. ~ 1~'7r~~~;:;;.!~ One... two ... three. my pace became slow. - We hold our breath and Why was lout here aJone? then reach as one flesh for I forgot. the cotton, rag, or lighter. But· I was alone, and my This bathroom is too small for us all seeming to be on an endless journey symbolized it. But we don't give a damn. I looked down toward the waters I clenched my ann and beneath my path. - closed my eyes... It looked like a dreaded infinity that seemed to welcome me. And a long, white casket drinking Was 1 welcomed? the sun mocked me with silence. Finally·somewhere One day. It was meant to be or else it wouldn' t have happened I only want to drown, The frigid waters swallowed me, happily and wholly. but slowly. • Garry Ke' Merritt ,. William D. Brawn -20- \ Returning The Gift The Yellow Toothbrush A Definiton of Love You CAN have it all. You 00 have it all, The television My grandmother told me ALREADY! mumbles about that love is what you a recession or a war or something. feel when he is no t there, Will you RECEIVE it a1l7 I stand in front of Will you accept it all? the mirrored medicine cabinet An emptiness You are it all, Trouble, Trouble Everywhere brushing my teeth. ALREADY! A commercial A pit with slick walls that I sit above Atlanta reminds me to buy some tampons- he cannot escape to join you, Everything you thought The Sundial Restaurant rotating I rinse my toothbrush beneath the running water. was "ELSE" was Around the city Channel five is experiencing technical difficulties, A cavern that only echoes only your MIRROR! While I eat I tap my toothbrush on the basin his name when you call. The fine cuisine. and freeze Now, will you look at before the yellow Crayola toothbrush My grandmother showed me your SELF in the eyes The lights below you forgot to take with you. that love is what you feel of your BROfHER? illuminate people when he is not there. Breaking into homes And I can feel cavities in my future, In the face of your SISTER Stealing cars An emptiness And (orgive your SELF Raping women. and each "OfHER"? • Sheila Casper A grave of earthened walls The homeless people that he cannot escape to join her. We are all going HOME Look for shelter TOGETHER. Near barrels of fire, A house that only echoes Carrying pape' sacks his name when she calls, Filled. with liquor bottles. • Emily Duncan • Sallee fO Wade I'm above all of that, though . I'm not a part, Friend or Foe Just a witness; I keep my distance, Confusion Sux, Wait a minute, maybe not now here we go, And I am safe. this is just a thought. The bill arrivE'S Confusion's good in a way, I guess, And I dig for my wallet, Exhilaration is the reward, and confusion the test. Unconditional regard But it's gone. Without exhilaration there would be no drive to succeed. This piece is turning into a big building block, don'tcha see! Afraid to look beyond my wall It Shannon Roberts Where flowers may dwell. Blinded antagonist, Well now back to the poem, to see what I'm thinking. What can I Untold truths lie there about put here to rhyme, but shrinking. Waiting for an explorer of a shallow mind. Shrinking as in the world that's what I'm thinking about. Afraid perhaps to see a reflection of likeness No reason yields righteousness. We can't let the world shrink, we gotta stay stout. - Pick a flower And accept me as I am. Very boring the world would be, if confusion didn't suxxeed! • Garry Ke' Merritt It Dennis Tinsley -22- -23- --_... __...... _... _- .. . Things That Last Introspection A smile, a handshake, a morning in May As the midnight sky approaches, A walk with a friend at the close of day. A cool breeze brushes across the fragile beach. A pat on the back (or a job well done Granules of sand relocate. A gentle caress when heartaches come. Waves edge toward the earth to greet a lone stranger. Candlelight, moonlight, eyes meeting across a room He walks. Time spent together on a Sunday afternoon Visible pathway Holidays, birthdays, a table for two Made possible by moonlight. Weddings, reunions, and saying I love you! • Garry Ke' Merritt The caU of wild geese flying in V formation A flag waving in the breeze, men dying (or their nation. Time and love, gifts that make life worth living Their value and worth come with the giving. The things thai last, joy, sorrow, pain and pleasure They make the memories that we come to treasure. ,. Elsie Nelson Beth Baltes graphite drawing - • t3Al.-ll S A Mossy Creek Christmas direct cars inlo the line and to make sure that the I wassaic-no sign of Duane so far. Evie's road would not be blocked. I guess he looked brother, Craig, noticed me, though. He was out forward toeveryChristmas Day, and nooneever on bail for robbing money and beef jerky sticks ·By Emily Duncan complained because it made him feel important. from a Starvin' Marvin and claimed to be homo Every year as we would round the sharp comer sexual. He sat in a comer seat alone and stared at Dad turned on the dirt road called Sanders takes the cake." before we got to Granny's house, we would be me through one eye-the other was covered by Road in Mossy Creek. Dad's family lives on this I said, "But I don' t like them, and 1 don't greeted by Deak and his folding chair. his hair. ] ~id hey to him and tried to appear road and we were headed fo r Granny and like to visit them, and I don't claim them ." He never sat in the chair, but the green totally used to the idea that he preferred men to Grandpa Sanders' yellow and brown shuttered Mark said, "Face it Jake, you're one of srrapsthatcri~ssedfonrrUngthebackandthe women, and I wondered at how much pain he house to celebrate Christmas in the true Sanders' them. I mean, you are related to them, you seat were so worn out that the individual threads had to have experienced. when he had his nose tradition. know." could be seen. I have yet to figure out why he pierced with that stud earring. I prayed that he I looked forward to these visits like visits to That remark really hurt, and I set out to brings the chair because he would fall right wouldn't find me attractive. My nose started to the dentist's office to get my teeth pulled. I prove that his assumption was way off base. I through to the dirt if he ever tried. to sit in it. run and I wiped it on the cuff of my sweatshirt. dreaded these visits to Mossy Creek, and I espe- knew my family was weird or peculiar-peculiar As Dad eased the car into the line of cars, A thin-limbed fir tree in front of the win cially dreaded visiting my relatives, the red is the word Mom uses instead of weird to de Deaksituated himself between the truck in front dow was decorated in multicolored blinking necks, who lived on Sanders Road. scribe Dad's side of the family- it's more polite of us and our car and motioned to Dad to pull up lights, small crocheted doilies, and gold ball I don't know about other states, but my than telling someone that these people scare the closer. Deak kept his eyes on the bumper of our ornaments so old that furry gold threats were best friend, Mark,and I agree that nowhere but in you-know-what out of you when you're around car as Dad rolled forward slowly, and when it hanging in loops below. They were attached to Georgia can people that you would swear take them. I knew that my family was that way, but seemed that we had pinned him with our bumper, the rubbery limbs by a piece of rust-colored up residence in Milledgeville mental hospital their lifestyle wasn't mine, and I was going to Oeak signaled Dad to stop. 'As we got out of the twine. The trunk of the fir went down into a tum out to be your relatives; it makes me cringe make sure that on1y a few people would associate car, Deak reminded Dad to make sure his emer bucket of dirt; Granny tried to hide it under a to know that my cousin Melvin, who believes in me with the Sanderses of Mossy Creek. gency brake was up, and then he picked his chair faded patchwork quilt, but it had fall en down polygamy, sex discrimination, and lives alone in Sometimes I think that my relatives' pecu up, moved it beside the end of our car, and then and exposed the green plastic cheese bucket. an RV next to Alto State Prison, actually shares liarities don' t bother me as much as Duane's leaned up against ourcarso he could be ready for Wrapped gifts started from under the tree and with me the same blood line and chromosomes. presence at Granny's house. Every time I go to the next truck. spread-presents were stacked on top of each It tums me against having children in fear that her house, ] steer clear of closets, beds, andopened We walked past the Dooley trucks, Ford other and more stacked on top of them. the defective gene hibernating in me will become doors because of the chance of Duane hiding in, Broncos and the Chevy Blazers and climbed the Granny had finatly talked. Grandpa into active and produce a kid with a strong resem under, or behind them waiting to grab any ex cement steps to the porch. Mom had to stop a few replacing the paneling, but the ceiling tiles sti11 blance to dear old cousin Melvin. My bloodline tremity of mine. He had a God-awful grip that times to fix the plastic nativity figures that had had small holes where rats from the attic had also raises questions in my mind such as "Why could on1y be compared to a boa constrictor's. fallen down into the icing of her applesauce cake. chewed on the comers. She covered almost one are these people like this?" or "How can I be Any attempt of mine to wrestJe free failed and Dad opened the door to the front hall for me and wall of paneling with pictures of her ten children, related to them, and how come I turned out only resulted in Duane renaming me "Buttface," Mom. The green linoleum rolled up in the cor twenty grandchildren, three great-grandchildren, nonnal?" "Wimp," or "Sissy," for the rest of the day. If I ners of the front hall where we found two small her seven brothers and sisters, and Grandpa's Mark and I agree that these family get complained or told him to stop, he'd say, "What cousins flicking the bathroom light switch on eight brothers. The frames varied. from wooden togethers force you to act nonnal even when are you going to do, yell for Evie?" Evie was our and off, on and off, on and off. The bathroom to cheap rusting gold-plated. metal. There were things going on around are anything but-like cousin, and she'd always taken up for me when door was closed, but uncle Paul's muffled voice black and white pictures of teenagers and chil the times when my great-aunt Kerrie startsdanc I was younger, and Duane still teases meaboul it. was booming, "You leave that light alone, or do dren with plaid shirts with the sleeves rolled up, ing in the aisle of her church shouting, "Glory! I cringe at Duane's insinuations that t hide be you want me to put my boot to your behinds?" dark-colored jeans, and white tube socks covered Lord Jesus you know that] love my family!" and hind a woman's skirt. The girl and boy put their hands up to their by penny loafers all standing in front of a wood then proceeds to kiss and hugevery person in the Granny and Grandpa didn't have a drive mouths and tried to stifle their laughs, but when house where the paint had peeled and was fall church. It makes no difference to her whether he way. Instead, Ihe road just ended about twenty they saw Dad coming, they disappeared into one ingoff. or she is related to her or not. feet in front of their house which made parking of the rooms. I turned the light on for Paul, who Over the decades, these teenagers and When] told Mark about her and Melvin every year a hassle to the family and an occupa strained a "thanks" through the thin wood. Then children evolved into the redneck aunts and though, he shook his head like] was untouchable tion to Granny's older brother Deak, who has I walked into the den. uncles, and Dad. Colored photographs with - and said, "Jake, I thought 1 had a weird family, li ved with Granny and Grandpa since I can The heat from the wood stove burned my babies propped on carpet risers or blankets but] think yours is ranked in the top ten that remember. Deak had laken it upon himself to frozen nose and cheeks as I opened the hollow thrown over the crowns of their heads hung on door of the den and shut it. I sat down on the the paneling. I spotted my baby picture. I was ripped brown-leather loveseat nearest the door, propped up on dirty yellow shag carpet. Below but not one redneck noticed me; theywereeHher that picture was a graduation picture of me Leslie Ogino computer graphic watching the football game on TV or sleeping wearing a mock tuxedo, and most appropriately with their heads propped back, roofs of their below that was a picture of Granny smiling and mouths exposed, snoring. standing by the coffin and corpse of her father. -26- -27- Evie walked into the room and looked out when she swam in uncle Swain's pool. Her hair, the window. Her breath fogged up the glass and straightened and stuck to the curves of her head, in the deep end of Swain's pool and ldidn't know life. she used. the sleeve of her navy sweater to wipe exposed her small forehead and chin, her wide how to swim, or when he'd wrap hisannsaround "Let's go," I said like it was no big deal. it. She squinted her eyes as she peered out into cheekbones, and the Qlemishes on her cheeks. me and jump in the pool and stay under until I I climbed up into Duane's Ford Broncoand the December-gray sky. She had taught me how to swim one attempted to breathe under water, or when Duane we were off. The inside was littered with gun "Swain'lI be coming down the road any summer when I was a nine-year-old and she a would trytoimpress his girlfriend by holdingme shells, camouflage clothing, hollow beer cans, minute," she hinted. at Craig. college-bound freshman. Evie's freckled, long over the water by my foot. and a half full jug of Southern Comfort which he Craig. who had kept his one eye trained on anns caught me when I would run off into the Duane worked for his daddy Swain in a saw me looking at and said, '1lle necessities for me for a while, rocketedout of the brown leather. chlorinated water. I could picture herstandingin constructioncompany,sohehadbulgingmuscles the hunting man- Mama don't know about this He saw me looking at him, SO he stomped his feet waist-<1eep water shouting like a sports com and brown skin that attracted girls in droves. He and she's not going to find out either." to make the Levisthat had ridden up hisroots fall mentator, "Can he jump, folks?" Then I would, never opened the doors for them. Most of the The Bronco rumbled up the road-even back down to his ankles. knowing that those hands would never let my time they foltowed him around like puppies. He hisautomobilereekedofDuane'sself-procIaimcd 'Well, I guess I'd better be getting on home. head go under and knowing that she would yell, • went through a lotof girlfriends; I'vemetat least masculinity. As the Bronco rounded a curve, lhaveajobinterviewlomorrowmoming." Craig "Yes, he can!" She had turned out pretty decent, twentyofthemwhenhebroughtthemtoCranny's Craig's Honda sped past us going back down to stretched and started for the door. considering she had to live in Mossy Creek and or when he tortured me at his pool. Every once Cranny's. "What kind of a job is it?" I asked. teach redneck and white-trash children. in a while I'll meet one at the mati or the movies, Duanecontinued to drive, sliting the thick "Security guard," he said and opened the I blinked and shifted my gaze from Evie to and she'll say, '1ake, how's Duane doing?" dusty trail that Craig had made but soon after we door. the door as it scraped against the threshold. I usually say that he's about the same, realized the reason behind Craig's rush. Barrel Evie just continued to stare out the win Cousin Duane appeared as the crack widened, whatever that is, or if I feel really bad about the ingdown the road wasa monstrous black Dooley dow, not reacting to his last words-I think my and the muscles in my jaw clenched together so way he treated her, I'll say something like, "Oh, truck with six wheels-two in the front and four jaw becamedislocated. and smacked the floor. As hard it sent jolts of pain through my head. Duane he was just talking about you the other day." I in the back-and behind the wheel was Swain. he shut the door, I went over to the window with walked across the den and into the kitchen with think i t makes her day a Ii ttle better if she believes Hiseyesflashedademonicpossessionaswemet, Evie and watched Craig run down the cement a pitcher of his mom's tea. the king of heartbreakers is thinking about her. and he stuck his shotgun out the window to show block steps, hop into his old Honda hatchback, A week before Christmas Day, I had put In seventh through twelfth grades, he won the us his intentions. and stir up gravel and dust as he sped out of the myself in some mock situations and created title of Cutest and set a record for most consecu "Look at the old man go-that fag's gonna line of cars up the road past Uncle Deak and his wonderful repartee. For instance, if Uncle Swain tive wins of a student-choice award. He never be singing soprano!" Duane laughed and fin folding chair. called me an old fart I would come back with an went to college, but Mama told me that he was ished with a rebel yell. ~e thinks that nobody knows about the "I might be an old fart, but when I get older do I building a huge house in the Bluffs. Duane turned to me with a grin wrinkling thing between him and Swain," Evie said. become an old turd like you?" Then I imagined Duane emerged in the den again with his the skin above the comers of his mouth. I wanted The fact was that everybody, except everybody would laugh hard, and Uncle Swain hand wrapped around a chicken leg. Hechewed to tell him to stop Swain-I didn't think Swain Cranny, knew that Craig had spread a big lie would chuckle and say, '1 didn't know you had up the meat in his mouth, swallowed it, and would really shoot Craig, but t couldn't make a around Mossy Creek that Swain's younger sons, it in you, boy." burped loud. He turned to a boy cousin, held out solid judgment, especially since this was the man lamarandClenn, were his bisexual lovers. Swain I had planned my remarks with the family his index finger, and said, "Pull my finger." whom Duane claimed as Dad. I decided not to had met Craig one day while he was coming up members who posed a potential threat of putting Evie cried, "No, Benji, don't!" but Benji open my mouth in opposition because Duane the road from Cranny's and told Craig that he me down, but it was difficult to plan my reactions did and Duanestuckhisbuttoutand farted. Evie would try to label me as Craig'S true bisexual would shoot him the next time he saw Craig on to my cousin Duane's cuts. He was an enigma; walked outof the den, saying "Duane, you are so lover. Sanders Road. Duane was so unpredictable that if someone disgusting." Benji giggled at Duane mimicking We jostled off the dirt road, crossed the "When are you leaving for school, Jake?" made the study of Duane into a science called Evie by holding his nose and swinging his hips highway onto a paved road leading to the Bluffs. Evie's question caught me off guard. My head Duanerology, a Duanerologist would have less back and forth. We passed. a group of white trash trailers with , I started to walk to the kitchen, too, but dirty bare-footed children standing on the cold I jerked toward the direction of the voice. than a one percent accuracy level. I tried the best "Oh, mm, I leave January fourth, about I could to put myself into every possible situ Duane turned and looked at me. My feet froze on ground with a rusted car frame and car parts twoweeksfromnow." Inoddedthreeorsotimes ation, but the only ones I could think of were the the carpet and I wiped my runny nose with the strewn all over the yard. They were nasty people and my facial muscles pulled the comers of my ones I had already suffered, and Duane never back of my hand. Duanesmiled (l could sense the living ina nasty place. Wives who hadat least six mouth toward my ears. repeated his actions. word Buttwipe or Buttface was fonning in his kids lived in the rusting trailers, and the daddies, - She returned three or SO nods to me, said No, he was the maestro of cut-downs and larynx)and said, "You want togo 5eemy house?" who were all truck drivers, rarely spent their something about living i t up before school started to use old material was a cardinal sin. He had a I was faced with a dilemma. If I went days off at home. Rather they spent them gam because we were the only ones so far to make it to knack for making me uncomfortable, and I could Duane probably had rigged something Iikea two blingand drinking at MajorO'Neals' pool hall or college in our family. I added a "Yeah, I know," do nothing about it; if J told on him, Dad would by four to whackmein the face when I stepped on cheating on their wives with other men's wives. but the inward comment coursing through my say, "You need to learn not to let Duane get the it or a bucket of cement or something over the Duane honked his hom and waved at the brain was, "You haven't changed a bit, Evie." best of you. You're almost a grown boy." I just door waiting to crash on my head as I opened it. children, but they scumed and climbed back into My eyes glazed over while studying Evie's wish I could have remembered those words of If I didn' t go, no moral victory for bravery would the trailer. I looked straight ahead and wouldn' t round face. I recalled her features were accented wisdom when I was seven and Duanepushed me be mine, and besides, Duane would probably look at him. label me "big buttfaced wuss" for the rest of my The Bluffs were beautiful even if it was -28- -29- I I face and my nose stung with prickly pain. I and yes, even Duane. December. The Bronco sped down the steep road that I had never seen. I turned away from the wasn't surprised when I heard Duane laughing. I felt ashamed of my condescension to and pushed to make it up the other hill. The sky glass wall and looked at Duane's face and saw his "Smooth, Butthead." these people who simply lived day to day to the was gray and sad, and all I could see was the broad shoulders had slumped. I turned back to 'Thanks Duane," I moaned, rolling around best of their abilities with the limited resources rollinghillsand the lonely paved road that crossed the glass. in the dirt and wood. they had. I had to admit that it wasn't a lifestyle them. Power lines crisscrossed over the road like "Duane, Kelly's crazier than she looks if ''You ain't hurt. Get up." Duane was I would envy, but they did live it honestly. They fine threads of a spider's web. she doesn't want to marry you for this." already climbing up into the Bronco. had never tried to hide the way they were. I The land had been burned, reseeded, and 'That's not it. She hasn't even seen the I raised up on my hands and then straight dusted my hands and the knees of my jeans and small pine trees colored the brown, brittle grass house yet and I don't want her to until she loves ened my body upright. I took a final look at the walked to the Bronco wondering if one of my and weeds. I felt eerie seeing something alive me as much as I love her." Duane's house; it didn't belong here so close to younger cousins had locked himself in a suitcase and green in the winter when everything else I couldn't believe what Duane was saying the white trash rednecks, yet it did in an odd sort and drooled. all over the insides before someone was dead and unfeeling. The pines' color was and even more I couldn't understand why he of way. Duane's house wasa hidden masterpiece found him, or if Swain had performed a sex more a muted green, but they were thriving was telling me this. The king of heartbreakers in Mossy Creek-a diamond in the rough. Until change with a shotgun on Craig. I knew I'd find while the underbrush had given up the fight to had fallen in love, yet she was breaking his heart. I discovered it, I couldn't fully appreciate the out when we left the Bluffs and got back to our live long ago. I had learned in biology class that At first the hallelujah chorus sang in my brain as Mossy Creek area, the rednecks, the white trash family in Mossy Creek. what I saw was the building of an ecosystem. I realized that Duane was finally getting a dose of Slowly over time these small pines would grow his own medicine. I wanted to call him a big larger, covering the hills with the greens but then buUfaced. wuss for being so stupid to expose his *** hardwood trees would take root growing thicker weak side for me, his enemy, to attack. and taller than the pines. The hardwoods would I would have done it but Duane took away canopy the pines with their leaves and few, if the thrill for me like killing an animal that limped any, of the sun's rays could travel down to the and couldn't run fast. I had waited so long for pines. The pines would die and leave the Bluffs this day to prove to Duane that I was the better looking like it did before it was burned. I felt for man. Sure, I didn't have the muscles or the girls, the thriving pines I saw knowing that they would but I had the brains to go to college and become soon be replaced by stronger relatives. It seemed more than just construction worker for the rest of unfair. mylife. I couldn't tell him that though; I couldn't The Bronco turned on a gravel drive, and I hurt him because he was family- he was part of saw Duane's house facing me. It stood on the what I belonged. to also. ground, noble and proud in its magnificence. My nose stung as the green and the brown The house was the biggest I had ever seen in I saw seemed to run together. I couldn't believe Mossy Creek and was even bigger than mine. I that I even cared about Duane's problem, but climbed out of the Bronco. Its roof was long and somehow I felt sympathy for him trying so hard steep and the bricks were a rich hue of burnt to get Kelly. It dawned on me that whetheror not red---even the cement still had the bluish tint of my family succeeded at something it mattered to newness. The front porch was small but accentu me. When they fail, I feel the hurt they suffer ated the impressive door with an oval stained even if I can't stand their ways. The rednecks glass panel. I rubbed the cold brass door knob from Mossy Creek were my family, and some before I opened it. where deep in me wasa love for them that I had The inside wasn't complete, but theyellow never realized existed until then. Still, I couldn't wood fonned the shell of a high cathedral ceiling. look at Duane, and I walked out of the house One entire wall in the great room was made of cursing him in my mind for always getting the glass that stretched from the floor to the roof. I best of me even when he wasn't cutting me could see nothing but the Bluffs and far away the down. - pines tinted the hills muted green with spots of I stomped through the cluttered yard of light brown undergrowth. No white trash trail bricks, shingles, wood, and cement dust that ers with scared children and lonesome wives covered. the red clay and turned it a chalky gray. could be seen. No rednecks homes on Sanders I sensed Duane behind me so I cut through a pile Road shown through the glass wall. of discarded wood to avoid talking to him. My "Do you think Kelly will1ike this, Jake?" feet stumbled over the wood, and I stepped on a Duane's voice was soft when he mentioned two by four and slipped. 1 couldn't catch myself Kelly's name, and it made me nervous because so I found my face hitting a piece of wood. The Duane sounded SO unsure of himself-a side of tears that 1 had tried to control rolled down my -30- Brrnda Smith watercolor I. Sandra Butler Wayne Vinson pen and ink Reginald to tell your daddy goodnight and tell him to "Out there over yonder horizon there is a come up to bed. It's getting late, and you know place ... :' Andhe'dgoonandonaboutthegrecn how he is without his sleep." fields and flowers and then he'd look me in the "By Chris Lambert "Yes, Momma," he'd say, standing in the eye and say, ''But it's kinda pretty here too. Isn' t doorway with his back to her, fingering the crys it?" He was always talking about how there was Wen I tell ya, he was just as dirty and was trying to bore a hole through my head with tal doorknob. "I know how he gets without his beautyrightunderyournoseandhowyoudidn't lowdown as the rest of 'em. You'd see him up her eyes, and then she'd stop, smile, and ask me sleep." have to run away to find it. Then he'd hold his there in the pulpit with his slicked-back hair and that same question: ''Do you remember what The town of Wauchula, Tennessee, was hand up high like he was toasting and chuckle. shiny, black polyester suit hemming and hawing happened to the little boy who kept sticking his about thirty miles south of Dyersberg. It was a Grandaddy talked a lot about Reginald about hellfire and damnation, but he was no nose where it didn't belong?" small town, dose-knit, as would be expected. A and what he called the preacherman's battle. He better, no better at all. I'd see him, my brother I remembered, but I asked anyway: "No, place where, if you got caught stealing a piece of said we all had to balance between the good and Reginald, eyeing the little girls and their mothers Momma, what happened?" candy at the general store, your momma, along the evil, but thepreacherman had to do itin front as they pooled around after the sermon at the "Well, they cut his nose off and used. itasa with therestof the town, would know before you of everyone, spotlighted, living his life under a Wauchula Baptist Church. flower pot .. . you just remember that the next got home. There was the railroad station in the microscope. He said if Reginald kept it up, he'd 'What a beautiful dress, you know the time you get to feeling curious." center of town, probably the oldest building in all become either a saint or a loon. "All men are Lord loves His little girls clean and pretty," he'd She had a lot of questions like that. I don't of Wauchula. From there we had thebarbershop, lustful," he'dsay as he tooka long, slow swallow say, smiling that smile. He could be as cool and remember Momma ever answering me straight hardware store, school, city hall, and of course of whatever potion he had in his brown bag. laid back as an old timer watching the day go by when it came to Reginald, or anything, for that Wauchula Baptist Church. I used to take walks ''Years ago they would of taken the life of any in some one-horse town or as anxious as a boy matter. ShewasneverquitethesameafterDaddy through the cemetery there, tryingto imagine the preacher suspected of ungodliness, suspected of awaiting his first kiss. He wasa riddle tome from passed away. I was about seventeen when he faces of the dead while picking up the plastic humanity ... now they let him take his own life, the beginning. was killed in a combine accident. We had a flower petals that lined the paths. Things in slowly." Reginald would start his sennons with a closed.-casket funeral, and I guess she just never Wauchula didn't change very much from gen I remember every Wednesday night we'd "Hello there, you children of God," throwing his accepted his death. She didn't get the chance to eration to generation. The same names just kept all go down to Billy's to watch these stag movies arms in the air as if a swarm of bees had come see that peaceful look that the dead usually have popping up on the tombstones: Hedges, Brown, he had hidden away in his cellar. Louise, his down upon him. "I'm happy and the Lord's before they're put into the ground. No, all she Cooley, Buford. No, we didn't have too many wife, had Bingo that night, so we had free reign happy you're here today ... yesHeis. He told me saw was that rough brown box being lowered pilgrims call Wauchula their new-found home. over the place. Reginald would show up every SOi He said, 'Reginald, your flock is feeling a into the red clay. Church was a very important part of life, Wednesday like clockwork, still justa preaching heavy weight, a weight of sin, a load that started For months after the funeral Momma what with the potlucks, revivals, Bible School in and thumping that Bible. Hewasalwaysbeating last Sunday as they walked out of My house into would sit alone on the porch swing kneading the the summertime, and an occasional wedding. on that Bible. He'd pace around the living room that wicked wicked world,andit'sthreateningto balled-up apron in her hands. Each day at dusk Even the funerals were anticipated in a strange calling all of us heathens, but when the lights pull them down into the muck and mire. Regi she helda vigil for Daddy, staring at the shadows sort of way. Groups of old men, smoking and went down he'd sit on the love seat in the back of nald,' He said-in the sweetest voice you ever of the silos as if half expecting his lanky figure to chewing tobacco, held court outside of Wauchula the room with that Bible perched on his knee, did hear-'I want you to help them and bring top the hill. She'd wait, swinging until the day Baptist Church, rehashing conversations about justa thumping away on it like it was some big them on home.'" was gone, and drag herself into the house, re the weather while the busybodies buzzed about bug he was trying to kill. He'd still preach, buta By this time he had worked himself into such a moving the place setting she had laid out for with their gossip, straightening the dresses and little quieter, his voice almost a mumble-you lather, rocking back and forth, pointing his finger Daddyat supper. lfastranger had happened in, the tiny bowtiesof all the children, so uncomfort could makeouta "Christ our Lord" or an "oh, my i at us, that I couldn't make out much of what he he would have thought there were four of us able in their Sunday best. Around nine o'clock Jesus" if you listened closely. i was saying. living in the house. She "kept everything just as it the bells would ring and they'd all file in to soak The movies considering we watched the Momma used. 10 drag me along to his had been before Daddy's death, fluffing his pil up the words Reginald spat at them. Even while same ones over and over, got a little boring in " sennons ever Sunday. She'd prance down the low and laying out his bed clothes each evening. he was hyperventilating and convulsing so, they comparison to our man of the doth in the back. aisle with her hand tightlyon my shoulder. "Don't A Lazy Boy recliner, Daddy's chair, sat in the sat back and listened patiently, enjoying the fear So one evening I sat off to the side and watched even think about it," she'd whisper and I'd know comer of the room and beside it lay a newspaper, he made them feel. Reginald spotlighted by the glare of the televi there was no hope of slipping away. She sat untouched since the morning Daddy thumbed "Boy speaks with power and understand sion. The righteous words that were coming out proud and tall in the first peWi after all, he was through it. ing. You can seeitin his eyes," Grandaddyused. of his mouth didn't quite match the expression - her oldest son. She called him her special little I think she kinda believed he was coming to say. Grandaddy was a good man who had on his face. His eyes had this strange look of kissfromCod, andinMomma'seyeshecoulddo back to read it, and there was nothing you could long ago given up on trying to please the world. moonshine madness, the same look Crandaddy no wrong. do or say to make her see otherwise. Reginald Hewas a stubborn old bugger who did as he saw had the day he ran through the town stark naked Reginald was my half-brother from even played along with Momma at times. fit. If he felt like going on a week-long drunk, screaming, '1 feel like a baby again, I feel like a Momma's first marriage. I could never find out "Goodnight, Momma," he'd say as he tucked her he'd do it without regret. I remember him telling baby again." Every now and then he'd break too muchaboul his daddy . Anytime I mentioned in, pulling covers right up to her neck. me stories as he sat back sipping on the rotgut, away and wring his hands, scared, like Momma him, Momma gave me this real stem look like she "Goodnight, son .... Reginald ... be sure talking as much with his hands as hedid with his had just slapped them away from the cookie jar. mouth. He twisted and SQuinned in his seat, but mostly -34- -35- - guess I would." that world doing ungodly things. Things he he thumped on that Bible. that Bible sure was a male bonding. A wonderful night. Well, good After that night he started sporting the suit wasn'tsureaboutanymore,beingMomma'sonly curious thing. By the end of the evening it had bye." and carrying the Bible with him at all times. The light and all inched its way from his knee to his lap and he Before Reginald became pastor he, Billy, preaching came slowly, but he soon worked He was in the parlor with Momma when I stood up holding it to his pelvis, insecure, as if and Louise used to run around together. I think through his shyness. Momma smiled a whole lot left Wauchula for the last time. The two comple hiding something. Billy still had the same blue Chevy truck he and more, and she stopped wearing black so often. mented each other well. They resembled an "Louise should be getting home soon. Louise consummated their engagement in while There was something very special about the two older couple. Momma was napping and Regi Right, Billy? Time to put all this craziness away. Reginald drove them down evety back road in of them now. Momma was Reginald's security, nald sat in the Lazy Boy recliner, Jookinga lot like Wouldn't you say?" Reginald moved toward Wauchula. Billy said Reginald seemed happier and he loved her with a passion. I loved Momma, Daddy. '1tcanbehard, living this sort of life," he Billy. than the two of them put together about the but not like Reginald did. I was too busy watch said without moving from his seat. I was sur "I guess so, Reginald ... I'm sure you've engagement. ing his daily sacrifice. prised at the words. Reginald was quite aware of got to be somewhere this evening. Don't you "He drove us all over and I never once I noticed a change in Reginald around this his situation. have to go counsel some pagans or something?" caught him looking back into the bed of the time. The wrinkles were cutting their way onto "You mean with Momma?" I asked. They both laughed. There was a small distance truck," Billy joked. The three of them were his face and there was heaviness in his move "I mean with Momma, Billy, Louise, and between the two now. Reginald was the first to inseparable up until Reginald started that ment. Hewascarryingthatload heoften preached all the people in this town." He stayed put, stop laughing. preachennan's battle. There was a specter of about: doing for Momma what Momma couldn't staring at me, waiting for a response. I stared '1 think I've counseled all the pagans I can uneasiness. It was as if he felt the eyes of God or do for herself. He carried a grimace with him for back, dumb. Alii could think about was what counsel in one night," Reginald said in a serious Momma were always on him. the rest of his days, his face worn like the cover of Grandaddy said about Reginald, his battle and tone. Billy fell silent. I could see the next com Reginald received his calling from the Lord that little Bible he thumped. the green fields with nowers. The room was mentcominginto his head, his eyes moving back a few months after Daddysdeath. Momma was When hewas in the pulpit, he had the same quiet. Reginald smiled at Momma, lapped his and forth as if scanning some imaginary script. still in black, moping around the house, spouting look like it was Wednesday night back at Billy'S. Bible, and closed his eyes. Sleep erased the "Yes, and I love your technique: infiltrate, verse after verse with this cold look, like every Hell, who knows what he saw as he stared out at tension on his brow and for a moment he looked become one of the bastards, move up through the nerve in her face had gone dead. He came down us. Maybe the whole jumbled mess looked like a like a saint. ranks, reach the position of high priest and then after supper one evening thumbing through his big ugly porno. Maybe he imagined us an out in hit them with the word. I love it! Truly the work Bible, anxious. of a great clergyman." They were silent for a "Care for a little scripture?" He started moment. Reginald walked to the mantelpiece circling my chair. and picked up the high school graduation pic "Nah, no thank you. Already had my *** ture of Louise, putting the Bible in its place. He verse for the day." drifted off, caressing the glass right where the Reginald stopped. '1 had a dream last cheek was as if he had her there in his anns night." whisperingQnly God knows what and running "Really," I said. his hands through her hair. Instead of hiding this He moved closer. "Really. I was walking from Billy, he made it quite obvious. on a dusty road and in the distance I could see a "Pretty girl, that Louise, pretty girl." man walking towards me. The closer he got I Reginald swung around. '''Those were the days. could tell he was wearing these huge shoes that Weren't they, Billy?" looked like the ones clowns wear in the circus .. i "Yeah, those were the days ... things have .. Well, ya know how in dreams you just know , changed, though." Billy sat down while Regi· things?" I , I nald leaned on the mantelpiece. "Yeah, you make up your own rules." I "Naturally so/' said Reginald. moved up in my seat. I was interested. Reginald "We're all so busy being .... It's not like it didn't usually volunteer information like this. was." Whatever it was, I was coming along for the ride. I Reginald ran his finger along the inside of "Well, I just knew this man was Jesus. He the picture frame. "You're a lucky man, Billy." had this look about him. Anyways, one of his - I On' lights hit the room. Louise was home shoelaces was untied and I could tell he was I and the party was over. Reginald grabbed uphis going to trip. He was walking like he had some Bible and met her at the door. where to go, a miracle or a crucifixion maybe. So "Hello, Louise." They exchanged a smile. I ran up to him and tied his shoe. Would you tie "Hello, Reginald. How was your eve JesusChrist's shoes? I mean, if you knew he was ning?" She greeted him with respect. Reginald going to trip and fall before he got a chance to moved past her. save the world." "Oh, just fine. A litUe scripture and some I sat back. "1 guess I would, Reginald. I Robert Westervelt pen and ink -36- I ( Perkins' All-Nite Cafe "By Kevin D. Dodds The sign is always lit, even in the brightest He shuddered again and reached for the afternoon sunshine. And in thecold mists of the night, crumpled box of cigarettes in his coat pocket, it is an unreadable halo, a beacon that shines up and while thumbing through a worn copy of The down the silent streets after midnight. It calls to the Razor's Edge on the table before him. hungry and the restless in three foot high yellow He sat, reading and breathing the wann, letters. Anyone glancing up over the door has it white smoke until he heard the kitchen door burned into their memories, Perkins' Ail-Nile Every swing open, releasing the sounds of breaking Nile Cafe. plates and the fry cook's hollered orders. Daniel looked up from the book and saw the blonde Daniel leaned over and pressed his nose waitress wiggling to his table. She set a cup and against the cold surface of the window. Outside, steaming potbefore him, scribbled on the bill and wet,grey fingers caressed the glass, and the city's placed it next to the ashtray. orange glow reflected from the undersides of Sarah-2.00 , he read off the green slip of heavy,ashen clouds that kissed the dark treetops paper. and moved swiftly on through the night sky. So "Jesus, Sarah, when did they start charg· little color, he thought of the scene through the ing two bucks for ... " window. He frowned. Nothing can penetrate the "Silly, that's 2:00. I get off then. Total's on bleak shroud. the other side." She giggled again and hip "Waitin' on someone or alone tonight, swayed over to another table. "Can I getch y'all han?" the waitress asked from behind him. anything else?" "AlI alone ... " said Daniel. '1ust me." Daniel looked athis watch. 11:37. Twoand "Maybe we can fix that," she had the grin a Iw.lf hours to wait for another meaningless night of of a shark with bright red lipstick. 'What can I feigned affection I'll only regret for the rest of the week. getcha?" He shrugged, poured himself a cup of the thick She was just enough of the right kind of drink and turned the page in his book. cute, sort of cheap, too. The kind of girl Daniel Sarah brushed by a moment later, heading always found, even when he wasn't looking. back to the kitchen. The kind of girl who was probably so-so in the "Keep my pot full," Daniel called oul to her sack, maybe good, but more than likely not, and retreating buttocks, and he heard her laughing she never protested too loudly when he gave her out loud behind the swinging door. cab fare and showed her the door at 3:00 a.m., ex· plaining that he was sorry, but he simply could The Bottomless Pot 0' Coffee is Perkins' most not sleep unless he was alone in bed. ordered beverage. Regular patrons of the cafe often He winked at the waitress. "Fetch me jest come simply for this and, perlw.ps, a Danish. The the ne'er endin' pot 0' coffee, m'fine lassie," he coffee is served in tall, rust-colored urns. These are said in his Irish brogue. She giggled and bounced cool to the touch on the outside, but the coffee inside - off in the direction of the kitchen, the back of her remains steaming hot for hours. This seeming defi tight skirt moving in little figure-eights as she ance of the laws of thmnodynamics is a sometimes walked. popular topic of debate among some of Perkins' more Daniel watched until the kitchen door inebriated customers. swung shut,and hecould no longer see her. Then he shuddered. MyGod! I'm doing it again! Slop ... Rachel stomped. her feet in the doorway to Take control and go home alone. Wake up alone! his shake loose the muddy leaves clinging to her conscience protested. boots. The young man in Ihe booth across the Gloria Kirby pen and ink -39- room looked. up, startled by the loud clomp-domp Frowning at Daniel, the waitress took " .. .asshole ... " FawlandTwo &ast FeIlSt is themostcoIorfuUy of her heels striking the tiles. She shrugged a Rachel's order, and with a derisive snort, she Ignoring the streamof expletives the wait· tUlmed dinner on the menu at Perkins '. Diners read· silent apology, and he went back to reading. turned and disappeared back into the kitchen. ress hurled at him, Daniel hastily gathered his ing the menu for the first firM are usually baftkd by A walk through the park had seemed like USad night, I guess," said Rachel. belongings, stood and reached across the table to the name but can be heard chuckling when they read such a goodidea to her backather apartment. But Daniel smiled. "Not for me." grab Rachel' s coat. the description , which explains the dish as a steak and she shivered now, remembering the damp cold Conversation came easily for both of them, "Excuse me." He pushed past the irate eggs fJtlriation, "four eggs, done as you please, with an ness that had pushed through her coat and and they quickly discovered many points of woman. eight.aunce filetmiglWn ," The steaks arealways thick touched her skin as she shuffled along the dark common interest. Their discourse sped through " .. .1 thought! ... " and full of blood, a SIlUOry ' -40- -41- somepopcomandcuriupinfrontofthe1V. You together, and I really want for us to .. .1 don't know, just relax tonight." know ... be together more. .." Daniel was frustrated and confused. He Rachel had been staring at the cup in front when she saw the senior editor standing in her music was deafening. wanted to tell her to get dressed for the night on of her, turning slowly on its sauCCT. She looked doorway. "I've been writing ... hiding out!" the town that he had been anticipating. And up at him after his words had trailed 0(( into "You start1ed me, Bill," she said, laughing "Oh!" Perkins', why Perkins'? Daniel had avoided the silence. He was watching her, waiting for her at herself. " I didn' t know anyone else was still Her body was undulating as she stared cafe ever since the night he had met Rachel, reply. here." vacantly down at the dancers, and Daniel found afraid of another confrontation with that wait- " I love you too... but I don't think we're UVou're not the only one who stays late himself watching her and thinking dark things ross. ready yet." around here," he told her. justtheonlyonewho that he had not considered in many months. In his mind, he weighed her present good stays late every night." ''Want to get out of here?" mood against her potential demeanor if he told Perkins' Special Spud Chips are slightly differ· "Have you had dinner yet?" "What ?" her what it was that he really wanted to do. But ent from 'potato skins' seroed in other restaurants. Rachel pointed at the McDonald's bag and "1said, doyouwant to go over tomy place?" he aren't love and a relationship based partly on rompro Spud Chips come in generally smaUer slices Own the balled up hamburger wrapper on the com~r of screamed into her ear. miM? he wondered. Damning himself for his otheT varietyof potllto appetiurs, and Perkins' servtS her desk. "1 had a quick. bite a little while ago." "Have you got something to drink over indecision, he bit his tongue and smiled. "Sounds these unadorned, but with containers of melted cheese "That's nota meal ... but how about a drink, there?" like a great idea, dear." and sour cream and bits of bacon on the side. They then, to celebrate that contract?" Daniel's car sailed through unseasonably They drove to Perkins' in Daniel's car; the come to the table very hot and looking slightly grtllSTJ, "I don't know. I've got a lot of things to cold mists all the way back to his apartment. He only conversation was a staticky interview on a but Perkins', so the menu assures us, deep fries them finish going over tonight." She frowned at the was alone, inside of himself, and only vaguely radio talk show with the wife of a mass mur in cholesterol-free vegetable oil. piles of manuscripts that covered her desk. aware of the girl who babbled incessantly and derer facing execution. Do people like that really "Will those all be here tomorrow morn played with the radio. Neither did she seem to have wives? thought Rachel. She asked Daniel, Daniel waited for Rachel to decide that ing?" he asked. notice that Daniel was not conscious of her pres but he wasn't paying attention toanythinginside they were ready (or the commitment he desired. ''WeiLl guess so." She smiled, realizing ence. If she did, then she did not care to com· of the car and did not hear her. And he waited, alone in his apartrnent, the many that the trap had been sprung. ment. Daniel was watching the sky as he drove, evenings that she called him and told him that His face reflected her chagrin. "Then I'm Stepping through the door at his apart and he kept glancing up through the windshield. she would be working late again. He never went buying." ment, she giggled, "Have you got a bathroom?" He thought about what a beautiful day it had out for very long on those nights but would stay Daniel pointed down the hallway and been, but dark clouds now stret<:hed to the hori· in his apartment, working or watChing videos. The rumbling bass and the flashing lights walked in the opposite direction, heading to the zon and the wind had picked up. He was hoping that Rachel would come over to were only more distracting to Daniel as he stood kitchen. He made a gin and tonic for himself, "Looks like it might rain tonight," he said be with him, even though she had told him many at a railing.. looking down at the whirling bodies shrugged and made one for her, a bit stronger. to her, but she was listening to the radio and did times that she was too tired to stay up any later on the dance floor. Why am I here7 he asked "Nice place you've got," she said, coming not hear him. and still have to work the next day. himself. I don't know, he answered. into the kitchen behind him. The restaurant was busier than Daniel had "My job and my career are very important He had planned on a drink at a quiet bar He grunted something that he supposed ever seen it be(ore,and he fidgeted (or the several to me," she said o.ne night, as they lay in his bed. that he had frequented in the past. Just a drink sounded like "Thanks." minutes he and Rachel had to stand in the (oyer, Am I not important, t00 7 Daniel wondered, and then home to bed. But the line of people Drink in hand on the way to the living waiting (or a table. Once they were seated, but he did not pressure her (or more of her time, outside of thedance cl ub had interested him as he room, he noticed the light flashing on hisanswer· though, he relaxed. He had not seen the saucy afraid that he would drive her away, should she drove past, and in his loneliness, he had (elt ing machine. When he pressed the message waitress, and he hoped that she had either quit or feel threatened to make a choice between her job drawn to the crowd. button, Rachel's voice came out of the speaker, been fired. and him. The bourbon bumedgoingdownhisthroat, sounding metallic and far away. Neither of them being very hungry, they " It is critical that I continue spending these but he finished the rest of the drink in two swal Beep. '1 got the promotion, Daniel. I'm so ordered the seafood quiche and split one order nights and long hours as I have been. There is a lows. He was rewarded for his effort with a happy! I just wanted to know if you wanted to between them. Daniel ate silently, thinking.. pol· promotion riding on this. Please warm tingling that began in his stomach and celebrate with me. Love you. I'll call you I ishing his upcoming speech and proposal, and understand ... You know that I love you." slowly spread outward to the rest o( his body. tomorrow." Beep. Click. when the plates were gone and they were smok· Ashamed of himself, Daniel could only "Daniel!" someone shouted from behind 'Tm already celebrating.." thought Daniel. ing and drinking coffee, he was ready. respond with, 1 'm sorry if I've seemed selfish. I him, "! haven' t seen you in forever." He took a sip of his gin and tonic, grimaced, and "Rachel, I want to ask you something ... " he love you too." She was young and pretty, dressed in the removed the telephone receiver from its cradle. - spoke slowly and deliberately. And everything was fine for awhile. fashion that was prevalent among the denizens "I wondered why you've been so quiet." of the Clubhouse, slinky and black. Daniel tried to AfaooritedinneratPerkins' isSearood Quiche. "1 love you Rachel," he said, surprising "Congratulationson the Smithson contract, remember her name: Mandy? Amanda? No. The main ingredients of the dish are eggs and sour himself a little at how natural it (elt to say those Rachel. It's going to bea hell of a good year with The music and the bourbon would not let him cream, of course, shrimpand crab meat, and some sort words to her, "and I want you to move in with those new sales." concentrate, and he couldn' t even remember just of fish . Though this is the least prevalent of the prin me... because I want you to bemorecompletely... a Rachel jumped at the booming voice that how it was that she knew him or that he should cipal components. Many, trying the quiche for the part of my life. I miss you when we're not broke the silence in her office, but she relaxed know her. Heplayeditsafe ... nonames. "How're first time, htroe remarked to their servers that, indeed, you doing? I've been hiding out, writing." thefish pleasantly underscores theoverall flavor of the ''What?'' shecuppedahand to her ear. The meal, ratheT than dominatin~ it. -42- -43- I Early on, Daniel realized the roles he was have to get up early ...'" he hissed. His lower lip trembled, and hesobbed. each other." creating for himself to play. two distinct and "It's only 9:30. Please, I need to see you." "Shit...l'm so sorry.. .I love you ... " Daniel was shocked. "But I trust you ... " separate parts in a small drama he imagined "O.K. I'll meet you there in an hour." "Love me! If you loved me, you would '1 know you do," she sighed. Her hands himself to be directing. This had all of the traces 'Thank you .. .I love you." But she had never have slept with anyof those whores!" She were steady as she lit a cigarette. ofbeingacomedyto him at first, trying toorches already hung up, and he spoke this last to a silent took a deep breath to calm her hands, still funr And the wind blew the dead leaves away trate his infidelities, while maintaining the same and empty line. bling a napkin in her lap, and her eyes softened. through the cold November darkness, uncover· caring attitude with Rachel. She'll never suspect, "Ch, Daniel...we just can't do this. We can't ing the grassless, grey marl outside the windows thought Daniel, as he carefully concealed from Daniel waved to Rachel from the booth expect to live together when we just do not trust of Perkins' AlI·Nite Cafe. her all evidence of what he was doing the eve when he saw her·come in the door. nings she stayed at the office. "'DanieL" she began angrily, but caught But Daniel's own conscience exerted itself herself and finished, speaking in a more gentle in a way he had not before experienced. He tone. 'What's wrong dear?" *** began to see that the stage was set for tragedy, '1've got something to tell you." He stared and he could no longer delight in the secrecy of out the window. the intrigue he had initiated. Rachel clenched and unclenched herhands He searched for solutions to these prob beneath the table. Here it comes; it is finlllly here, Taft Stephens graphite drawing lemsandconcluded that he would have to return she thought. 1don't want to do this now; 1will not to the state of faithfulness he had known. To be angry or upset. Over and over those words fadlitatethis,hedeemed it necessary toenUghten churned in her mind, a litany against frustration. Rachel and hope that she found, as he, that it was Daniel reached for the coffee pot and re now, more than ever, important to their relation· filled his cup, talking as he poured. ship for them to be consummately together. "Rachel, I want for us to move in together." Staring out the window behind his desk He said this in as forceful a voice as he could one night, he saw the clouds as he could not muster. He turned to her and found that she was remember having seen them since the night he looking him directly in the eyes. and Rachel had first met. This vision startled "I know you' ve bee n seeing other him, and he thought that he could feel the happi· women ... " She stated the words matter of factly. ness he had lost, hidden out there, somewhere "What? You knew?" he sputtered. behind the fat and dirty clouds that caught the " ... and I can't live with you, while you've night lights of the city and held them, so that the been Sleeping around with countless sluts," she clouds seemed to bum from within. finished. Daniel called Rachel's office to ask her to Daniel's confusion turned to anger as he meet him at Perkins'. Helonged to tell heralland realized, She knew. She knew. He shook his head, befreeofthe burden of his lies, yearned to beg for as if this physical action could dear his mind, forgiveness and put an end to his solitary exis could stop the spinning. tence. 1bough it was not as late as she had told "'Let me get this straight. You're saying him she would be working, there was no answer that you will move in with me, if I stop seeing at Rachel's office. other women?" Brow furrowed, he looked upat Confused, hedialed her apartment, and on her, but she just sat here, her face deadpan. the third ring, she answered. Taking her silence as an affinnation of his having "Hello?" understood, he continued; words exploded from Daniel heard the rustle of...sheds? his mouth in a furious stream. 'Where in the hell "Uh. .. Rachel...were you asleep? ''I'm sorry to do you get off! AU of yourgod-damned nights at wake you." the office! You left me alone!" - "Daniel? No. I'm up. Just came home a He realized that he was shouting and little early ... What' s up? You sound like glanced around the room. Several people were something's wrong." staring a t him from nearby tables, but they quickly "Can I see you? I mean, will you meet me turned their attention back to their plates or at Perkins's? I need to talk to you ... please?" unfinished cigarettes,embarrassed when Daniel Again, Daniel heard a whisper of material fla shed his rageful eyes at them. and a sound like... bedsprings? He lowered his voice. "Darling, what time is is? Because I really "J have waited months for you. Months!" -44- The Wasp frantically. "Daddy, I want Mama here." paper against his bare back. The doctor talked to "Hush," said his father. "It'll be better in him, asking him about the sting. 'Wasps can be a minute." mean things," the doctor said. "Sometimes after 'By Brad Strickland But it wasn't. James felt his throat clog the nest is broken and they're all dead they can ging. as if it were closing. and his anns began to still hurt you. Doesn't seem right, does it?" The nest was long gone, knocked Qut by the abdomen falling to earth. "Come on." His look bumpy: raised red welts seemed to drain James, foggy with exhaustion, shook his one hissing stream of a super-powered insecti dad picked him up under the anns, then carried the color away from the rest of his skin. His head. The paper rattled under him. cide that brought the red wasps tumbling to him with an arm around his shoulder and an father, looking worried, went to the phone. James Mr. Farmer came back with word that earth like biplanes swiped by King Kong's hand. other under his knees. gasped for air and heard one side of the conver James wasn't allergic to anything. The doctor James and his father then used a bamboo pole to "It hurts, Daddy," James said. sation: 'This is Jim Farmer. I'mcallingabout my said, "J'm going to give him acoupleof injections dislodge the nest itself, a cluster of fluted paper "I know it does, son. We'll fix it." Fanner son. He got a wasp sting about half an hour ago, that should clear this up. We'll keep him here for cells the size of both James's fists clenched 10- climbed the porch steps and shouldered open the and now he's having some kind of reaction .... He a half hour or so to make sure they're working. I gether. They tossed it in the trash and forgot it. front door. He carried his son to the kitchen and says it's hard for him to breathe, and he's got a want you to get some Benadryl and give him one Ten days or two weeks later, further into put him in one of the swivel chairs at the bar. rash .... that's right, arms and face .... No, on his tablet every four hours through bedtime tonight. the summer vacation that to a six-year-old Fannerransacked the kitchen cabinets and foot....l' ve done that....Yes, thanks.... Ten minutes." Tomorrow if he's having any trouble, give me a stretched like an endless playground,James was finally came up with a bottle of Parsons Ammo Every breath James took wheezed in his call." beside the house tossing a tennis ball against the nia. He dabbed a paper towel in it and gently throat and chest. "Daddy?" The shots hurt, not as bad as the sting. but chimney and hustling back to catch it when he touched the sting. a red bullseye pinprick in a "Come on, son. We're going to the doctor the needles felt cold and the pain went on for a stepped on one of the dead wasps. A jolt like an quarter-inch circle of dead white. 'This is what now." Mr. Fanner picked him up again and long time. They made James sleepy, and he was electric shock, incredible in its intenSity, ran my mother used to do when 1got stung," Fanner carried. him out to the car. The kids across the barely aware of the doctor's saying. "fake him through his bare left foot. issuing from the soft said. "It'll feel better in a minute. We'll put some street, the Wilsons, were out shooting baskets. on home now. I think he's going to befine. You'll pad of flesh behind his little toe. ice on it, too." James buried. his face in his father's shoulder, have to remember that he's sensitive to stings, He collapsed onto the grass (rom the pain, James was still crying. the sobs clenching ashamed of being carried like a baby. though. Keep him away from wasps." a shriek already tearing through his throat. He his larynx. "Did you get stung a lot, Daddy?" He lay in the front seat, head thrown back, As the car turned onto their street, James grabbed his injured foot in both hands and looked Fanner, a tall, thin man, smiled, his eyes lungs heaving. Mr. Farmer ran a red light on the heard his father curse softly. He raised up. His at it, seeing to his horror the red wasp, its body kind behind his glasses. "I got my share, I guess. way to the doctor's office. James tried to tell him, mother's yellow car was in the driveway, and she gone a dry, dusty brown, dangling from the sole Usually it was a bee that I stepped on in the but it was too hard to speak and he didn't have stood beside it, a trim blonde woman in a pale by its stinger. He was afraid to touch it, to pull it clover. Their stingers come off, you know, and the wind. green dress. She was scowling and held her anns free. "Daddy!" heshoutedatthe top of his lungs. the bee dies." His father's face frightened him, grave and crossed over her breasts. "Help, Daddy!" James got up, standing only on "This wasn't a bee." worried. "Mama," hesaidas his father lifted him Mr. Fanner had barely parked before his right foot, and started to hop around the "No, this was a wasp. They're worse. A out of the car in front of the pediatrician's office. James's mother yanked open the passenger door house, shaking his left foot with the urgent need wasp can sting you over and over, because its "Please, I want Mama." and pulled James out. "Are you all right, baby?" to dislodge the wasp. It dangled and twisted but stinger doesn't come out" They went right to the examination room, She held him and stroked his hair. He clung to hung on stubbornly. "Do they die after they sting you?" and his father put him on an examination table her, snuffling. James's throat hurt almost as much as his "I don't think so." covered witha long sheet of paper that pulled off "He's fine," Fanner said. "It was an aller foot did, but he could not stop screaming. could "But this one was already dead." a roll at the head. A nurse came in, took off gic reaction to-" not keep the high-pitched yelps inside. Justashe Fanner got up, opened the refrigerator, James's shirt, looked at his rash, and then went "I don't want to talk to you. I'm taking got to the corner of the house the front door andtookoutanicecube. "Here, let's try this." He fo r the doctor. The doctor, a short, graying man Jamie home." banged open and his father ran across the porch. pressed the ice against the stung place, and the with glasses even thicker than Farmer's, came in "Alice, don't be--" 'What's wrong. son?" coldness itself hurt, likea blade jabbed into flesh, a moment later and listened to the story. ''You don't take care of him. I'm going to James fell to the ground again, gasping for before the ice began to numb the pain. "We can fix you up," he said to James. To keep him with me until he's well-" air, trying to tell his father what had happened, James's voice became more petulant than Fanner, the doctor said, "Has he ever had an "He's well already. Damn it, it's my time holding his foot with its dreadful passenger up hurt: "How could it sting me when it was already allergic reaction like this before?" with him-" for Mr. Farmer to see. dead?" ''Not that I know of. He stays with me ''You bastard." His dad vaulted the porch rail and landed "I guess the stinger still had some poison in during school vacation, in the summer. In the James was so tired that he did not think he on the grass in front of him. "Let me see. Hold it." winter he stays with his mother." could cry again, but he began to sob into his stil1." Gingerly with forefinger and thumb he James felt his heart thud. "Poison? Am 1 "Can you call her?" mother's shoulder. He wept for the pain of grasped the wasp and pulled. The stinger at last going to die?" "She works in town. What do you need?" knowing that some things could sting a long time came free, a wicked black stiletto. James heard "No, of course not. It's not that kind of "Ask her about any allergies, any drug after they were dead, a long time after the nest the wasp's body crunch in his father's grasp and poison." reactions." had been broken up, and that not all of them were it shattered, the thorax crumbling into dry flakes, James began to cry again, this time less James lay on the table, feeling the cold wasps. *** -46- -47- - Convenience Store Play -By Claire Porler Scene 1: Characters: Dan: Ellen, who works in the convenience store Creamed beef on toast. Dan, her husband Ellen: Storm's comin' up. Look at that sky, just look! A Man who comes in out of the stann Real pretty. He's angry with us. A Voice on the radio Dan: Lotsa' trees'll be falling. Biggrand-daddy trees. Scene: A convenience store. Stage left up is a lunch counter which angles down to stage left down . At tk Ellen: stage left down end counter there is a CIlSh register. of I was watching T.V .. It was a wild life show and This allows for the CIlShitr; Ellen, to tau money for gas see, Dan you listening. there are these men that as well as fry burgers, pour coffee, etc. Stage right, live in FinJand .. 1 think it was- there are rows of shelves whith foodstuffs (pancake mixes, dehydrated milk. oms of pork and beans, and Dan: candy), Sure are a lot of foreigners on T.V. Ellen, the cashier/waitress is probably in ~ mid Ellen: thirties but may look older from stress. She lS attrac tive but may havedrcles under her eyes, somecrow's And he must be angry because the FinJanders, I saw this on T.V., they come up to these nuffy feet , and nice hair that has been badly treated. white seals, these white baby seals that look like ballsof yam with black buttons foreyes,and they As the scene opens, Ellen is testing the grease in th,e beat 'em to death. I saw one get beat, and they deep-fryer, etc. There is a radio playing country musIC scream, too, Dan. He beat it, beat its head in. It softly behind her. Them usj~ is jnten:upteti.fretf.uentl~ just stopped trying to struggle. Lay there and let by tornado warnings. Dan lS dum ptng Fntos mio hiS out a sigh. Its eyes stayed open, though. Its eyes mouth right from the bag. Dan never takes his eyes off stayed open. So he must hate us. Ellen. Dan is not slilringat Ellen in an obscene way. He slilres at her with reverence. It is early evening. Dan: The sky is green-greyish and there ale strong gusts of wind blowing at the doors. Now just hold the show! Just ... Just .... What are you talking about, Ellen? - Ellen: He wants revenge. Dan: Who, for Christ's sake! Suzanne Watkins oil painting -48- -49- EII~n: Dan: Dan: Dan: That'swhyHe'ssendingthisangrysky!Tonight's Umm. And don't you think I feel dead! I won't live like Ellen, he's not who you think he is. the night! (S~ runs to doors an flings them open, t~ this anymore. Come back and live with me, you wind netlrlyknocks wooer) Ifeelit! OhGod! It's Ellen: belong with me. Enen, we could have some Ellen: beensolong. (Sherunsoutintot~stonn) Bashmy Dan, I feel it! more. How do you know what I think? skull in! Dan: Ellen: Dan: Dan: No, Ellen, no it's all done and past, years ago it I can feel it. Well, it's dear you don't think he just needed. to Ellen! seems. use the john. Dan: (He goes out after her. Thunder crashes and the wind Ellen: Ellen, listen to me! Nothing is coming! Nothing Ellen: picks upas the lightsat the empty store flickerof/, then Everything's gonna be set right, Dan. Tonight! I is going to save you. There's a stonn out. Nobody's on the highway. on, then off again. There should be about 30 seconds feel perfect! The same season! The same storm! (She walks to the windows on the doors and looks out of complete darkness with just the wind and thunder Ellen: to the parking lot. Dan follows,) Where's his car, and eerie green-black sky. We can see the vague Dan: No! No! Dan? What kind of crazy fool would be walking outlines of Dan dragging Ellen back inside. Ellen lies No, Ellen, NO! (He slaps her) for miles to this place just to use the bathroom? on the floor wailing and laughing while Dan forces the Dan: You can't stand the idea of being wrong! doors closed. He retlches and fumbles behind the Ellen: I've been here waiting for you to move on for counterand finllUyjindsa candle. He lights it and sets (She scretlms) more than two years. And nothing's going to (The end of a song goes off; then a newscast) it in front of Ellen. Dan holds Ellen, who becomes You! You! Don't touch me! (The lights and radio save you but you! Do you hear me, Ellen? caIm. There isa long silence as Dan pats Ellen's hair flicker back on) I felt it that moming! I knew it Nobody's going to walk through those doors to Newscast and kisses her etlrs.) when I woke and I turned to you under the quilt save you! In local news, a patient at the Bare Hill mental and I touched you and you knew J knew! You hospital on highway 63 has just been reported as Dan: knew, but you couldn' t believe. It didn' t seem (Ellen screams, fighting to get away from Dan. She missing. The operators of the clinic suspect he Creamed beef on toast. real, the next day, tuming that com crib away, beats and kicks at him. There are a series of knocks walked away on foot during the power failure, that toppled com crib and finding what I knew, agianst the doors. Ellen and Dan stop struggling. during which time the electrical1y-powered se Ellen: what I dreaded finding. They both stare at the door. There is another series of curity system was down. Ooctorsat the clinic say Thoseearly mornings. The tiles in the kitchen so knocks. Ellen goes to doors and opens thmt. Overthe that the patient, a young man is not dangerous, cold under my feet. Dan: past few moments of dialogue, the wind has become but- I don't think it's standing anymore. Always went totally silent. It is t~ calm before the stonn.) Dan: fishing Sunday morning. I'd creep out of the (Ellen switches off nulio.> The sun just lifting up on my back. Dew and house. Always took care to press my hand to the Ellen: muck wet and gluey on my boots. The bam shingles above the door SO they wouldn't shake Hello. Dan: steaming with the heat of those mama cows. I and wake you when the door slammed.. (He tries Thank God the phone still works. milked 'em all by hand, yes, I did, no cold ma to come netlr to her but she moves away. It gets to be Man: chines on my animals. a chase between the aisles) Ell, Ell, t ... want to I'm glad you're open. Ellen: believe you're right. Please-I-what's going to No! He is not who they were talking about. Dan Ellen: happen, Ell? Ellen: don't do that, please! You were always real good about leaving your Yes, well, we're open 24 hours. boots on the porch. Never did you once wear Ellen: (She rips thephonecord aut of the wall and hurtles it them inside .... It was your favorite breakfast. He's going to come. Man: out the door. There is a crash. Dan curses. He goes Good. May 1 use your bathroom? to bathroom door, knocking,) Dan: Dan: - I ate it every moming! Even when you were Damnit! Ellen, what's going to happen to us? I Ellen: Dan: having babies. didn' t kill those seals! It's in back. Now mister, you just come on out of there. All right? Ellen: Ellen: Man: A week before I was due, I got out that big cast- You wouldn't believe me. You killed pieces of Thanks. (The door opens) iron pot and made a three-weeks' supply of the yourself. stuff. I never had much taste for it. (There is a longpauseas Ellen glares defiantly at Dan) -50- -51- - Man: Ellen: Do you know why they sent me to that prison? We have to eat the way fanners do, before they go For reading too many books. Really. Can you to harvest. Heahhy. believe that? Dan: Ellen: (Sitting beside Man at counter) I believe it. Did you ever work a farm? I can guess you probably haven't...judging from your hands. Man: Hey; umm, Ellen, do you think I could get some (All th ree of them move in close toeXJlminehisJumds) food? (There is a crack oj thunder) I haven't eaten anything but institution food for over, two years, Ellen: I guess it is. (Touches Man's hand) You have beautiful hands. Dan: I don't think so. Come with me. (Another crack of Man: thu.nder) (Gripping her hand) Yeah, so do you, Ellen. Ellen: You can't go anywhere until this stann passes. (They slareateach other fora moment. Dan looks from What would you like? one to the other, as the grease continues to sizzle and the light fades down) Man: Oh wow, that's great, Ellen. Ellen, lean tell we'd END SCENE I make a great team. Ummm, I guess I'll have a double cheeseburger, oh! with extra pickles ... .if you don't mind, Ellen. Ellen: Oh! Oh no .... uh, what was your name? Scene 2: Man: Some home fries, and a strawberry shake would The wind is ferocious outside the store. The walls are be great, Ellen. rattling. Ellen and the Man are sitting on stools. etlting. Dan has obviously just gotten up from the Dan: counter and is hitting at the doors as he brings down Make that to go, Ellen. thehetlvybalt. Hekicks thedoorafina.ltime. Ellenand the Man could be at a Sunday picnic for the way Ellen: they're behaving. They are both smiling serenely as I will not, Dan! The wind is going to start to pick they mt. up again soon, and then it's going to hit. So there's no sense in going anywhere. Dan, what Ellen: do you want? We all have to eat good before the Dan, you are going to crash that door in before - stonn hits. the wind gets a chance! (She and the man laugh together as ifit'sajokeJ Besides, I don't know why Man: you're bothering, the whole store's going to be Yeah, that's the truth, Ellen. taken up into that sky, anyway. Lee Wells oil painting -52- -53- Dan: Ellen: It was wrong, wrong, they should be puffing and Ell~n : Ellen, why would you say that? He does, I think. nickering, stamping thier hooves when they Stop it, both of you! smelled me coming. They weren'Lsee, the front Man: Dan: of the bam, the part I wasin right then, where all Man: (He slurps the bottom of his milkshake cupJ Oh, Christ! Well Ellen, why don't you tell your the tack was kept, it smelled like leather and Come on Ellen, get rid of him. You're on my That was the best strawberry shake I've ever crazy librarian boyfriend why you have this saddle soap just like it always had. I thought, we team! tasted, Ellen. feeling! better see if the Campbells up over the hill are interested in buying these crops and saddles. I Dan: Ellen: Ellen: knew before I opened the stable door at the end Ellen, come with me into the shelter! Ellen, are 11lank you. Wasn't that a nice thing to say! Dan, Oh, Dan! of the tack room that they were gone. Then Dan you listening. you belong with me. did you hear what he said? He said, "That was came in, his face all puckered, and he said, "Oh, the best strawberry shake I've ever tasted." Dan: Ellen, I'm SO sorry," and I said, "Wecan get them Man: Wasn't that sweet? Tell him why you work here, and tell him why back! Don't worry Dan, they couldn't have got No you don't Ellen. Look old man, leave us you are my wife but you live in a house by ten far." He looked at me a long time. Heopened alone! Dan: yourself! the stable doors and they were... they looked Yeah. funny, not like horses. Oh, Oh! I knew that (The Man and Dan begin to fight) Ellen: morning, Dan! I showed you, I showed you! Ellen: Stop! (Pause) EII~n: I'll make you another. Oh, it's no trouble, really. Stop it! Stop it! Or is time running short? Dan: Man: Tell him how you used to not be able to get to It's O.K. now, it's O.K. It'sall goir.g to beset right. (Ellen struggles to the doors and pulls them open Dan: sleep without my hand in yours. Tell him! Say This stonn isgoing to rip us off the ground! We'll again, a violent strttlm of wind and rubbish shooting Ellen, I don't know when it's going to hit! why you left me! be passing on, Ellen, rewarded for our pain. into the room) Ellen: Ellen: (Ellen looks at the man in silence) Dan: I know. I was asking him. (She turns to the man) No! Ellen, we've got to get into the shelter. How long have we got? (The man smiles) Ooh, Dan: good! I'll make the best shake I've ever made. Dan: If you are in control of this then why wait? Come Ellen: Then I' ll say it for you. on and do it now! Show us, mister. Mister No! I want this storm to take me! (Pause) My Dan: librarian .... Mister librarian faggot! whole life is in this store now. (She looks up to God) What the hell is going on between you two! (To Ellen: Where did all our horses end up? the man) Were you a meteorologist before you Don't. Ellen: went nuts or something? Dan! (She slaps him) Shut up! Dan: Dan: Ellen, Please .... Man: Then you have got to say it, Ellen. (Pause) Say it! Man: No, a librarian. Say it! Say it! Oh, EIl,don't let him upset you. He's justa stupid Ellen: oldman. It's all right, Dan. Look, mister, I don't know if Dan: Ellen: you could help me, but I know I can't go with (Guffaws) We worked a farm! We worked hard .... OUr Ellen: you. A librarian! HA. HA. Ellen, I Wi ot to know why bodies were tan and hard by winter time, we (She slaps the man) you think this librarian knows when a stann is could throw a stallion down in seconds. I'd ride Don't call me Ell! Only Dan calls me Ell . Man: going to hit. them around the property, they smelled so fierce (Plttlding) in spring, the mares. See, Dan and me, we were (A huge crack of thu.nder strikes with an explosion But we're a team, Ell. - (The Man smiles at Dan) special...together. I couldn't sleep nights with outside in the parking lot. Dan runs to the door) out his hand ... his hands were thick, callused, I'd Dan: Ellen: put his little finger in my mouth. It was salty. Dan: Ellen, it's time to get to the storm shelter. Come He does. That was why the horses loved licking his hands Son of a bitch! My truck! (Turns on Man) Christ! on. when he went into their stalls to give them feed . My truck! You .... You exploded my tTuck! I Dan: (Pause. Ellen and Dan look at each other) They were should have taken you back! You're going to be Ellen: How! crushed, the horses. I walked stiff, the ground sony, Goddamnit! I will, Dan, I will. too hard. I had to climb over that huge oak that had fallen and I... .it was quiet. That emptyquiet. -54- -55- (They open the trap door) Ellen: No. Dan: Walking for Potatoes And mister, I reckon you'll have to come down (She grabs his hand h·ghtly, holds onto it while Dan too. Just because you try to steal my wife doesn't and she climb down, assuming that the man will & mean I want you to get squashed by a Coke follow. The man sees that Ellen is in and then pulls machine or nothing. out The muffled voice of Ellen is hetlrd, "Mister! " as Prisoner of War he sliuns the door. He looks at the shelter, then turns [Two stories my grandfather told] Man: towards the doors and walks out into the stann. The Ellen .... wind picks up.) 'By Jason Rimeik CURTAIN . The sky was overcast with war. The fight store potatoes in the basement of the market. And mg was constant, as were the casualties. It was 1916 since there was no heat, the potatoes froze. In the i~ a little town called Leipaja, known today as spring the potatoes would melt, and as they melted *** Ltebow. The town, being in Latvia, was noted for they rotted and stank. The Germans would get Richie McDowell computer graphic its rough winters. This winter was rougher than I these rotted potatoes and sell them to those of us in had experienced in quite a while, and the food was the town. getting more and more scarce. My mother, untte, ••• and brother, John, lived with me ir, an apartment. Our neighbors had told us that they had relatives It was the spring of 1914 when news of the who had a potato farm in the country. My mother Gennan invasion reached our town. John and I sat John and me down and told us to go to this farm were sent to work at some farms in the country. to beg for some food. Though we didn't work at the same farm, the owners of both our farms were relatives. John and I started down the road that was the start to our twenty-five mile walk the next The owner of the farm that I worked on moming. John, who was thirteen, had a bad knee heard that the Gennans had been moving toward injury that occurred when he was younger, and this area and sent me to the other farm for news. I when he walked great pain and his swollen knee took a shortcut through a field of barley; since I was gave him a noticeable limp. John, who was two not quite nine years old, the barley encompassed years my senior, was only along to keep me com me. I neared. the end of the barley field and stepped pany. out onto the road. On the road I saw that there were It took us all day to get to the farm, but it soldiers, but unfortunately they saw me at the same time. was worth it. Upon our arrival, the owners of the farm gave us about thirty pounds of potatoes, alii I was captured, labeled as a spy. A nine could cany. John, barely able to cany his own year- old spy. weight, couldn't carry any potatoes. The owners My brother, like all the others on the farm were very nice to us and let us sta:; the night. was captured as well. The on1y ones who were not The next morning we again set out on a captured were the ones who owned the fann. journey. This time the destination was home. John and I were kept up in the 10ft of the It was early that evening when we reached bam with a sentry to gaurd us. My work duty was the bridge that spanned the river near the town. to help the farm manager's wife tend the animals. There was a German sentry who met us on the My job was very easy because when I saw her I bridge. After askingus who we were and where we immediately fell in love with her. She was such a nice and beautiful woman. - were going. he inspected my sack. Upon seeing the potatoes, the sentry made us dump them over the One day, the manager's wife and I were edge of the bridge into the snow. feeding the animals when a fat German sergeant John and I continued our journey home, approached us. The sergeant's intent was clear: to empty-handed and in tears. rape the woman.J grabbed the lady's leg and began I don't know if the sentry ever picked the to yell and scream, pretending that she was my potatoes up for himself or if he left them there to mother. This apparently worked because the ser freeze in the snow. My best guess is that he picked geant became discouraged and left us alone. them up, after we were long gone, and kept them We continued to work. for himself. I do know that the Cennans would A few days later the news that we were to -56- -57- be moved arrived, and we were all happy. I us plenty to eat and a place to sleep. paced the floor constantly until the sentry alpost The only movement on anyone's part grabbed my ear and slammed me against the was when my mother came to get me and John. wall; then he let me drop to the floor. I don' t know how we were able to leave but we Other than the very few instances of went home to the city. violence, the Germans treated uswell. They gave David Lester computer graphic *** those who served and are still sp'rvin Q Operation Desert St?rm. _'fuR\( SPCELVIN SPC LISA RHIN1EHJ\Rl SKSR,. STEVEN DENNIS HOGAN CPL KENT L. GRAVITI Blake Wilkie computer graphic -59- Gloria Kirby will be a fine arts major at Georgia State University after complet ing her business degree at Gainesville College. She plans to attend New York University to complete her masters studies. Her career objective is to Who's Who in Perceptions be a gallery curator. John B. Bailey has been teaching history at Gainesville College since 1%7. He is Chris Lambert is an English major with no definite plans for the future. He retiring in June, and his students, colleagues, and friends wish him well. enjoys reading and conversation. They will miss him. David Lester enjoys workhg with computers and creating computer graphics. Scott Bagwell, March 22, 1971- August 19, 1990, had finished his freshman year at Gainesville College. He enjoyed playing in a band, writing songs and Richie McDowell loves working in the art field and plans to continue in the poetry. future. Beth Baltes is a non-traditional student and a mother of three. She is 3.n art major Joanne Martin is an English major who will be attending Georgia State Univer and this year's art editor for Perceptions. sity this fall. She will continue her major and minor in journalism. She also plans to continue writing. Andrea Blachly is a sophomore at Gainesville College. She enjoys writing in her spare time. Her future plans include a career in advertising and a life filled Bobby Nash is an art major who hopes to become a comic-book writer and artist. with joy. Elsie Nelson is a Gainesville College psychology major who grew up in the William D. Brown, who attended Gainesville College, is a writer whose interests North Georgia mountains and plans on writing a novel set in that loca include adventure. tion. In addition to being a student, she is a wife, mother and grandmother of seven. Sandra Butler is a student at Gainesville College who enjoys drawing, especially pen and ink. Pam Niles is a journalism major. She enjoys reading and writing. She is a staff writer for the Anchor and Th£ Times. She is in the process of writing a Sheila Casper is an English/psychology major and editor of Perceptions. She wants novel. to live a simple life and be a professional student. Leslie Ogino is majoring in graphic design. She will be transferring to the Uni Kevin D. Dodds is an English major who will probably be attending Georgia versity of Georgia after the spring quarter. State University. He hopes to teach English in the future. Katherine S. O'Neill is a political science major at Gainesville College, where Emily Duncan is an English major who will be attending Gainesville College this she is completing her last quarter. She enjoys writing poetry and has summer. Her future plans include transferring to the University of Georgia enjoyed the privilege of contributing to Perceptions for two years. in the fall where she will major in Foreign Language Education. aaire Porter will be finishing at Gainesville College this spring and will be Ally Eidson wants to be a successful and rich person. She is unsure of her future going to Brenau in the fall . Her future plans are to continue working in the plans. theatre and to get a degree. Garry Ke' Merritt desires to be a successful person, and would like to use his Joey Quillian is a former Gainesville College student who enjoys drawing with education to be a contributing member of society. pen and ink. -60- -61- Jason Rimeik. is an engineering major who plans on working for NASA as an Aeronautical Engineer. He enjoys studying Kendo. Sallee Jo Wade likes to write and enjoys being outdoors with nature. She leads Lisa Roberts will be graduating from Gainesville College spring quarter. She women's programs and does massage therapy. She has one manuscript at plans to attend the University of Georgia and major in English. a publisher and another with an editor. Shannon Roberts plans to transfer this fall from Gainesville College to West Florida University in Pensacola to major in Marine Biology. He is a mem Joanna Wallington is an at t major whose interests lie in the field of scientific ber of Phi Theta Kappa. illustrations. She plans to attend the University of Georgia after her tenure at Gainesville College. Sally Russell, who loves teaching, writing and riding horses, tries to remember daily, with joy, that "this too shall pass." Suzanne Watkins is an art major. She likes to draw and also makes a hobby out of dance. Although she is still undecided, she plans to pursue a career Brenda Smith is an art major who shares her love of art with a love of literature in art. and psychology. She plans to somehow combine these subjects into a career. Lee Wells is an art major at Gainesville College who enjoys using his artistic ability. He plans on graduating from College one of these-? Taff Stephens is a former Gainesville College student who enjoys drawing with graphite. Robert Westervelt, head of the Art Department, lives on Lake Lanier, and does much of his drawing on trips to the Smokey Mountains. Brad Strickland teaches English, raises a family, and writes on the side. ''The Wasp" is his 50th published story. Dianne Wheeler attended Gainesville College as a non-traditional student and found time to paint in spite of working full time. Barbara Thomas to understand the significance of the following lines from T.5. Eliofs poem ''Little Gidding": Ian E. Whitlaw finished his last quarter at Gainesville College this past fall. He is an English major. "There are three conditions which often look alike Yet differ completely, flourish in the same hedgerow: Blake Wilkie is an art major who will be transferring to the University of Geor Attachment to self and to things and persons; detachment gia. He plans to pursue a career in cartooning, and is currently working on From self and from things and persons; and, growing between a comic-book, ''R. Kane at Midnighf', with Dr. Strickland. them indifference ... " Butch Wilkie is a criminal justice major. His future plans are to become a federal Dennis Tinsley is a Journalism major who enjoys writing and riding his bike. prosecutor. He's a writer with the Anchor, and wants to go into the journalism field and make his living writing. Devre Day Turner is a transient from the University of Georgia who is taking Spanish at Gainesville College. She is interested in writing and hopes to write a book of poetry. Wayne Vinson is an art major at Gainesville College. He enjoys drawing during most of his daylight hours. His future plans are to become a prominent publisher and commercial artist. -62- -63- +AP20 .G47 .~~. V.• 0 COPY:3 Athens, Georgia 1 April 1991 Dear Reader: The staff of this magazine has kindly given me a bit of space to write a few sen tences of farewell upon the occasion of my retirement from the Gainesville College faculty on 7 June of this year. When I came to this institution almost twenty-four years ago, I had no thought that I would stay so long, or grow SO old. Many friends ask me, "What will you do in retirement?" I hope to continue to learn - to learn how to grow old with some grace, but with some fight; to Jearn how to provide strength and stability for my family; to Jearn how to share with those less fortunate something of which it has been my good fortune to receive, and to do a bit of bird hunting and trout fishing. St. Paul, in his letter to Timothy, said, '1 have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." I don't imagine that the sentiment of having fulfilled. all one's plans and schemes could be better stated than that. Obviously, the best time for me to leave is when the institution is in good shape, when I still have most of my faculties, when my reputation is still mostly honorable, and when my lecture notes have fallen completely apart. For me, this is not a time for any kind of sadness or regret. Rather, it is time to move on to the next phase of my education, and for someone younger, stronger, and much more enthusiastic to move into my place here. I would ask only that when my name comes up in conversation, you remember me fondly. Sincerely, John B. Bailey, Ph. O. Professor of History 1967 · 1991 - FOR REFERENCE Perceptions 1991 is typeset in Palatino using Pagemaker 3.02 for Macintosh. NOT TO BE TAKEN FROM THE ROOM -64- 1800 copies: $4800