Cover Photo: Xescu Prats It’s War! ’s old school clubs declare war on new generation of open-air venues. Privilege and Es Paradis denounce two Ibiza mayors Slow In this issue we report on two fatal road traDown!ffic The 32 year old mother was walking close to her place for not acting against music hotels and beach clubs. accidents on Ibiza’s roads. of work, the Volkswagen dealership, close to the Cepsa Both were the death of pedestrians in locations A war between the traditional clubs of Ibiza and the where there was no pavement—highlighting the petrol station. She was hit by one car following it being new breed of hotels and beach clubs offering open air need for us all to drive with caution wherever we hit by another in a collision just before 9am. Full report music has begun. are, but particularly in those many areas of the on page 7. island that do not have pavements. The owners of Privilege and Es Paradis, two of Ibiza’s On Saturday 4th February, a 68-year-old woman died oldest discos which have been operating since the Vanessa Patricio died Thursday morning, the 9th of after being hit by a car on the road from Santa Eulalia (Continued on page 3) February, after being hit by a vehicle as she walked to San Carlos, at a notorious accident blackspot. Report along the side of a road close to the airport. on Page 3.

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 2 News “Don’t Blame , Blame the Landlords” The sentiments of Lawyers Sergio Carrasco and Naihara Cardona speaking at a conference titled ‘What have we achieved in a year and a half fighting against illegal rentals?'

The lawyers’ were sharing a platform rasco and Cardona made it clear that with Luis Gonzaga, the man behind the tourism is not to blame for this social group campaigning on behalf of Ibiza problem. residents affected by crippling rental "The final culprit is the Landlord," they prices. maintained. However, they insisted that The conference was held at the Diario de an owner cannot be forced to lower the Ibiza club on Thursday 9th of February. rental price and stressed that the term Attendees heard that the public authori- "illegal", used by some politicians to de- ties face an impossible task in any at- scribe the situation in the Balearics is tempt to regulate rental prices as such is false and misleading. outside the scope of the law and subject "The law is very clear and details per- only to the unwritten law of supply and fectly what homes can be offered for demand. They say that this has resulted tourist letting," Cardona said. The lawyer in an ever escalating price spiral which was referencing what many parties claim has become out of control and leaves local to be ambiguity in the wording of tenancy people unable to find a fair rent for annu- and letting laws, creating a grey area al letting. which some say encourages the letter of Added to this problem is what they de- the law to be ignored. scribe as the ‘inaction of the institutions Both lawyers criticized the politicians to combat illegal holiday homes’ and the who use the ambiguity in the law as a ‘sense of impunity that attracts specula- reason not to impose it, saying that it tors to the island who manage a large should instead be "persecuted and pun- number of houses’. ished." Luis Gonzaga warned, the situation "is Following the speeches of the lawyers, a Monday the 6th of February marked getting worse" and argued that the most public question and answer session was effective measure is to inform the Balear- opened. The Queen's Sapphire Jubilee ic Islands Tax Agency of illegal leases. First to speak was Ibiza’s Director of It has been 65 years since Her Majesty acceded to the throne. For this reason, the group distributed Tourism, Vicent Torres, who provoked On 6 February 1952, King George VI died following a prolonged illness. Princess among the about 200 attendees copies of the booing of several people from the Elizabeth immediately acceded to the throne, becoming Queen Elizabeth II and taking a document from the audience when he defended the move to on all of the responsibilities which came with her new title. Tax Agency giving information on how legalise the rental of tourist apartments In the photograph, The Queen is wearing a suite of sapphire jewellery given to her by to report Landlords for tax offences. in current legislation being processed King George VI as a wedding gift in 1947. Current law through the Balearic government. Photo by David Bailey as released by the palace At the beginning of the conference, Car-

its regional business was acquired by Flybe. Since then, Vueling and Iberia Express, subsidiaries of International Airways Group British Airways (IAG), a British Airways partner, have launched services from Birmingham to Alican- te, , Madrid, Malaga and Tenerife. connect Birmingham and Bristol with Ibiza British Airways ceased offering flights from Birmingham and Bristol in 2007 Adding to the seemingly never ending list of additional Ibiza flights for 2017, British airways have confirmed they are to begin operating direct flights in May from British airports in Birmingham and Bristol to Ibiza, Malaga and Palma, once a week and also on weekends. British Airways Commercial Director General Luke Hayhoe said that the ’s cus- tomers "have expressed clearly and directly" that they want to fly to these destinations. British Airways stopped offering flights from Birmingham and Bristol in 2007, when

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 3 News Businesses Fatal RTA at Support No San Carlos Means No Blackspot On Saturday 4th Febru- Campaign ary, a 68-year-old wom- Ibiza’s Minister of Social an died after being hit by Welfare, Health and a car on the road from Equality, Lydia Jurado Santa Eulalia to San Car- has met with the Presi- los. dent of the business asso- The woman crossed the ciation group PIMEEF, road about 50 metres Alfonso Rojo and Vice from the Sa Rota shop President Consuelo An- when she was hit by the tunez, with the aim of car driven by a young promoting awareness and man. the dissemination of the The accident happened No Means No campaign around 11.30am in an against sexual harass- area considered to be an ment. accident blackspot. This follows a meeting Emergency services at- last week where both tended however, para- Lydia Jurado and the medics pronounced her islands Director of Equal- dead at the scene after ity, Judith Romero, met attempts to revive her with representatives of Battle of the Balls, Mirror vs Beach. were unsuccessful. CAEB to enlist their sup- port. Both groups have been very receptive to the pro- It’s War: Clubs vs Open Air

posals presented having (Continued from page 1) other venues with no action taken by the authorities” given their commitment 1970s, have denounced the mayors of San Jose and affirm the complainants. to publicising the cam- San Antonio, who they accuse of allowing the ever Privilege and Es Paradis employed a private detective paign in the organisations expanding open air venues of ‘flouting permitted noise to take decibel readings in several hotels and beach Photo: the scene of the they represent, and to accident in which a 68yr levels’. clubs. These regularly recorded sound at around 100dB old woman died participate in round table The mayor of San Jose, Josep Mari Ribas, and his San where the maximum allowed is at most 65dB “the mu- meetings with employers Antonio counterpart, Jose Tur, have been reported by nicipalities do nothing and the local police are far more Editorial comment: and trade unions to eradi- It always grinds my gears the clubs for failing to prosecute a crime, specifically concerned with the taxi’s arriving at the venues than when people ask where cate sexual harassment against the environment by not controlling the noise they are noise regulations” said lawyer of the public Ibiza’s speed traps are lo- and sexist attitudes with- cated. Why ask? Just slow and music of several venues. prosecution Joan Cerda. down. in business. The complainants state that they have spent millions of The detectives report was included in the complaint The police report does not “The positive outcome of say whether this accident euros in recent years to soundproof and cover their together with a similar commission by the political par- was caused by a car driving these meetings is that fol- too quickly, but way too each group will use their many accidents on Ibiza’s lowing regula- he municipalities do nothing and the local police are far more concerned secondary main roads are own strengths in promot- caused by speeding. People tions, which with the taxi’s arriving at the venues than they are noise regulations” ing the campaign within drive them as if there are forced party Joan Cerda, Public Prosecutor, Speaking of Outdoor Music Venues. no pedestrians and/or in- their own environments,” gress/egress points. establishments “T Minister Jurado said. Ironically a lot of the metal to enclose their venues to avoid noise pollution. ty Epic in 2013 which stated that noise pollution on barriers being installed are “The No Means No cam- making it even more unsafe “We spent about 6m€ on the soundproofing of Privi- one of the hotels identified reaches residential areas for pedestrians by forcing paign was initially pro- lege” said Jose Maria Etxaniz, one of the clubs partners over 3km away. them to walk in the road moted in the leisure sec- where they could have as reported in El Pais. Etxaniz went on to say that Reacting to the complaints, San José's mayor Ribas previously used the verge. tor, including Ibiza’s some of his counterparts “have been ruined” in at- stated that their town hall have initiated more than Personally I do not under- nightclubs but has gradu- stand why huge sums are tempting to comply with noise regulations. 200 cases against those breaching noise regulations. being spent on cycle lanes ally expanded and now “We cannot be accused of doing when so many areas don’t also encompasses other even have a pavement. hat was prosecuted and persecuted a few years ago in nothing against certain premis- Cycle lanes are great, but in areas including Ibiza’s our establishments has appeared again at other ven- es,” he said after appearing terms of priority surely a business community.” pavement has to be higher ues with no action taken by the authorities before the judge hearing the on the list? “W As a footnote to a report complaints. this week regarding a po- Their complaint argues that these regulations are not San Antonio mayor Tur reported to the proceedings lice clampdown on foreign plated cars, there was men- being applied in the flourishing music hotel sector, who that the borough have filed 2 complaints through the tion of forthcoming Police offers concerts and outdoor events with apparent impu- criminal court against venues accused of breaching training in the use of mo- bile speed radar equip- nity. They also complain of the beach club sector, noise regulations. ment. Though as a motorist which has proliferated in recent years, and they say El Pais reported that both mayors consider themselves the natural reaction is to resist such measures, frank- Photo: Lydia Jurado have live music without the same regulations being victims in what they consider is a business battle be- ly Ibiza needs teaching a meets with representa- applied. “What was prosecuted and persecuted a few tween the clubs. lesson. tives of employers association group years ago in our establishments has appeared again at PIMEEF The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 4 News Foreign Registered Car Crackdown In San An Police trained in methods of foreign vehicle identification and permissions. The local police of San Antonio had 21 police officers attend a training course held by the police forces own education department at the beginning of February. The course is designed to equip police officers with knowledge on how they can check foreign plated vehi- cles to ascertain whether they are on the island legally. It is worthy of note that the UK DVLA have online facilities to check whether UK plated cars have current tax and MOT in place and/or are under a SORN off road certificate. This will presumably simplify the job of the police in ascertaining whether they are here legiti- mately on a short term/tourist basis, or are one of the accepted many that have remained on the island far longer than is permissible without transferring the vehi- cle to Spanish registration. The four-day course is part of an ongoing education Scene of the rockfall and mudslide. Photo J A Riera programme for 2017 which covers subjects such as dealing with evictions and public disorder, use of defib- rillators and resuscitation methods and use of mobile Es Cubells Landslides speed control radar equipment. Roads closed and residents evacuated following landslides on the Es Cubells cliffs.

On 1st February, San Jose town hall closed access The council said they needed to be cautious before roads around the Es Cubells coastline following land- something serious happened and though many of the slides with large rocks detaching from the Cliffside. houses were not permanently occupied, they had advised Additionally, mayor Josep Mari Ribas issued a decree the owners of the need to evacuate. The mayor visited forcing residents to evacuate 15 houses located between the affected area and confirmed that a study has been Ses Boques and Cala Llentrisca. commissioned to determine what strategy will be re- The move follows reports from local police during the quired going forward. week of rock falls and mudslides on the Es Cubells cliffs.

3 drivers were found to that a minimum fine of be in breach of other reg- 1000€ will be payable by Ibiza’s Can Misses Hospital ulations, including the drivers caught whilst Suspends All Operations Due possession of marijuana. twice over the drink drive The offences carry penal- limit, and/or in all cases to Fly Infestation ties of fines between for reoffending drink Report 26th January 2017 500€ and 1000€. Alcohol drivers, and/or all drivers and drug infringements found under the influence Urgent operations transferred to be undertaken in Mallorca. can result in up to 12 of drugs. 56 operations have been cancelled Thursday and points on a driving li- See our forthcoming fea- Friday the 26th and 27th of January cense and other offences ture on 's drink and Can misses hospital director Josep Balanzat, has an- between 4 and 6 points. drive regulations. nounced that all but two of the hospital’s operating In a statement issued to theatres have been closed following an infestation of press, it was confirmed Ibiza Town flies. that the sting is part of a 9 Nabbed in San Jose The announcement was made Thursday 26th January, campaign to be held To Sant Jordi and it was confirmed that 36 operations due to be un- throughout the year at Drink Drive Sting Cycle Lane dertaken on Thursday, and a further 20 on Friday, different times and loca- Works to complete a new have been cancelled as a result. Sant Josep de sa Talaia (approximately 3 times tions. cycle path linking Ibiza For urgent operations where it is possible to safely local police held a special the legal limit), and will The rules town to the Sant Jordi move the patient, a transfer to the hospital in Mallorca operation to catch drink appear in fastracked Spain's drink driving hippodrome are said to be will be made. and drug drivers over the court proceedings as a laws are stricter than the progressing well. Only those most urgent operations where the patient weekend of Saturday result. Further action will UK. In Spain the legal The path has been com- cannot be transferred will be undertaken in the two 28th and Sunday 29th be taken against all those limit is 0.5mg of alcohol pleted as far as the ceme- theatres that remain open in Can Misses. January. found over the legal limit. per ml of blood. In the tery. When completed it Following the discovery of ‘many flies’ in the operating 9 drivers were found As an additional result of UK, the limit is 0.8mg. will allow a safe cycle wing a specialist pest control company has been called driving over the permit- the vehicle checks, 8 Spanish rules also dictate journey from the capital in and management are confident they will be able to re ted alcohol limit. Two of drivers were found not to that new drivers have to through to Sant Jordi -open the theatres on Monday. and all those procedures those accused exceeded have current ITV (MOT) adhere to lower levels. and the hippodrome, the cancelled will be rescheduled as soon as possible. 0.6mg per millilitre of certification and/or car From the 9th May 2014, home of the Saturday flea exhaled air insurance. Spanish regulations state market. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 5 News Police Prosecute Santa Eulalia Smokers Bar Patrol Officers alerted by suspicious behaviour of smoker who ran inside bar when spotting their presence. The Local Police of Santa Eulària denounce a bar in Calle de la Mar after verifying that their clients had smoked inside The City of Santa Eulària has opened disciplinary pro- ceedings against a bar in the Calle del Mar , in the city centre of the town, for allowing smoking inside the premises. This is contrary to law 32/2010 on health measures to combat smoking. The amount of the penalty in such cases can be between 601 and 10,000 euros. Local Police agents in Santa Eulària issued the action on Friday 3rd of February at 11.15pm According to the Consistory in a statement, the police were circulating in an official vehicle in prevention and surveillance when they observed that a woman was smoking at the door of the bar. Ibiza will become an ‘electric vehicle friendly island’. Realizing the presence of the agents, according to the account of the City, the smoking person ran back into the bar without extinguishing the cigarette. With suspi- cions aroused by this "abrupt and suspicious" behaviour, Electric Vehicles Promoted which was itself an infraction of the law, agents parked Consell and five municipalities agree on plan to promote electric vehicles on the island the vehicle and entered the bar to identify the woman. Inside, the police found that there was a lot of smoke in The President of Ibiza Consell, Vicente Torres and ment system to allow inter-operability of the network of the environment and "a strong stench of tobacco" and "a Transport Minister, Marc Pons met with the mayors of charging stations including those of the Consell and large number of cigarette butts." five Ibiza municipalities to sign an agreement initiating Town Hall. a pilot project aiming to promote electric vehicles on the With the system in place, any user can use any charging island. The agreement gives a framework of participa- point. “Penniless & Homeless tion for the island government and each of the five town In addition to the physical infrastructure required, the halls to coordinate the process of integration of the in- ministry will undertake promotional activities aimed at is No Excuse for Benefit frastructure needed to make Ibiza an electric vehicle business sectors including car rental companies and tour friendly island. operators. Fraud” In a statement to the press, the Consell stated that the Vehicles that comply with the requirements of the A Briton who lived in Mazarrón, in southwest Spain, use of electric vehicles is becoming more attractive to MELIB technology will be able to use the municipal and claimed that being penniless and homeless had left users and thus the time was right to put in place charging points free of charge for a minimum of two him no choice but to make a fraudulent claim for benefit measures necessary to realise the use of electric vehicles years from the commencement of the initiative. has been handed two suspended prison sentences and at a practical level. Further advantages to electric vehicle users will be free ordered to repay in full the wrongfully claimed cash. The Balearic regional government through the Ministry parking in addition to motor vehicle tax credits. 69-year-old Michael Dugdale from Preston failed to of Land, Energy and Mobility supports the initiative. Further information is available at the website declare that he owned 50% of a property in Mazarrón, http://melib.caib.es Their role will be to implement a centralised manage- when making a claim for Pension Credit in

2007. An important detail which he again omitted on a review claim form 3 years later, in 2010. Gamer’s Delight; Rainbow Six Siege comes to Ibiza Following an anonymous tip-off via the Benefit Fraud Uber gaming software developer the white island map due for launch in for,” Ubisoft said. “Daytime is a hazy Hotline, DWP fraud teams based in the UK and Spain Ubisoft have announced that Ibiza is February 2017. afternoon on a hot summer day after a one of their new locations for their The new add on, titled ‘Operation Vel- long night out.” launched an investigation into his claim to uncover the gaming title Tom Clancey’s Rainbow vet Shell’, will take players on a trip to Magazine PC Gamer said it “Sounds truth. Six Siege. “the rocky shore of Ibiza, Spain.” like a great place to be, except for all Below you can see the video trailer for “Get ready for an effervescent night those people shooting at you wherev- Despite initially denying any wrongdoing, Dugdale was the new release, together with a gam- ambience with neon lights of bars and er you go.” finally forced to admit to the fraud when presented with er’s eye view of what will be offered in open-air parties, which Ibiza is famous the Spanish property documents clearly showing that he owned 50% of the Spanish property with his ex- partner. Dugdale stated that his dire economic situation on his return to the UK from Spain in 2007 had left him no choice but to make a bogus claim for a benefit he knew he was not entitled to. He pleaded guilty at Preston Crown Court to two charg- es of benefit fraud totalling over £35,000 and was giv- en two 8-month suspended prison sentences for each charge and ordered to repay the stolen funds in full or face imprisonment. In a press release issued by the British Embassy in Ma- drid, they said there were ‘No excuses for benefit fraud’.

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 6 Club News

Hï confirm Black Coffee & UNER Defected in the Hood For those that don’t know, which by our reckoning won’t be many, Hï Ibiza is the new name for the venue in Playa Defected confirm Eden as their house for 2017 It just fits doesn’t it? The brand, the style, the crowd. d’en Bossa. It’s almost all change behind the scenes of the Ushuaïa It is a shame that Ladbrookes do not have a betting line It’s great news for San An, great news for Ibiza, and owned venue, with an almost all new management team in open on Ibiza nightclubs as we might have made a good many would say as far as Dermot’s T-shirt choices are the backrooms of the former Space Ibiza building. Hï has announced their opening party on May 28th. Mixmag few euros on this one. concerned, great news for fashion too. have speculated that Black Coffee and UNER could be Speaking of their decision to return to Ibiza at Eden among the big names to be playing the opening after they shared Hï-branded videos on facebook, confirming they will for 2017, Defected boss Simon Dunmore said, be playing at the ‘pristine’ new venue, and with Charlie Tat- ““Defected has held residencies in Ibiza for 15 man of the old Space team being one of the few remaining with the new owners also posting of ‘while others have just years, clearly the island is part of our DNA and hav- had a lick of paint’, we think ‘pristine’ may be a keyword too. ing focussed on Croatia in 2016 it was always our Mixmag said of the opening ”Black Coffee's tour dates show plenty of availability all throughout May, so it wouldn't be a plan to return to Ibiza this summer. Eden is a sleep- far guess to assume that he and Uner could be some of many headliners for the big debut”. ing giant with a rich Balearic heritage and San An- tonio has enormous potential as the gateway for

many first time clubbers visiting the island. Being right in the heart of a vibrant, informed and pas-

sionate crowd makes Eden as exciting a proposition as anywhere on this island. The line-ups will be

equally as adventurous, balancing established names and future talent. All the artists involved

share our vision, and we’re really excited about launching in May.”

Photo: Recruitment for Defected’s door security is well under way.

right time we feel that this is the perfect place for us to

unleash our sound onto the island. “With arguably one of the best Void sound systems in the Craig David world (ed—agreed) and a lighting set up that will blow your mind, along with a lineup of world class Dj's carefully select- ed to give you the vibe that we live for. We cannot wait to Audio Rehab help create lasting memories with you all.” Mutual, we’re sure. Ibiza Rocks

Claire B Changes are afoot at Ibiza Rocks this year. In addition to to Eden some major refurbishments of the rooms and moving the Unusual Suspects stage back to its original position, the weekly events pro- Mark Radford’s Audio Rehab, those known as priding them- gramme will be different from previous years. So far it has selves on the release of fresh bass heavy house, have con- been announced that the hugely successful Craig David’s firmed their first year on the white isle will be at San An TS5 Pool Party will return again this summer for 10 weeks, Eden. back at Sankeys The usual pounding sound of unusual suspects will be emit- every Thursday from July 20 to September 21. There will Following their success at Ministry in London, the label said also be a daytime pool party on Sundays from June 18 to of their decision to use the Island’s traditional gateway ting from Bossa’s Sankeys from May 11th 2017, the first of their 2017 residencies to be confirmed. September 24. The legendary Ibiza Rocks gigs will be kicking “Eden’s season will be amazing this year and the club is at off the week in style on select Monday and Tuesday nights the forefront of bringing the musical focus This year they will be holding monthly daytime parties at Benimussa park (that’s the Zoo place to most of us), so throughout July, August and September. As yet, there have not been any more artist announcements. So for now, it’s back into clubbing in Ibiza for that reason we could not be offering the chance to dance by day topping up the tan, before heading over to Sankey’s dark corners for the dirty watch this space and we’ll reveal who’s performing when we happier to be working with the guys at Eden this summer. know. After years of patiently waiting for the right club and the night extension. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 7 News

minutes, but could not revive the woman who was pro- nounced dead at the scene. As best we can make of the translation , which is pretty tricky in getting it right in this type of situation, the Seat was making a left hand turn, but the Landrover went to overtake it when doing so. The impact between the two cars pushed the Landrover across the road where it struck the woman, who was waiting for a col- league to go to work close by. The Local Police of Sant Josep are in charge of the in- vestigation. Later in the morning a press release was issued by San Jose town hall stating that the Landrover driver failed a breath test, that further tests could not be conducted as they were in shock, but they voluntarily agreed to have a blood test. Speaking following the tragedy the mayor of Sant Joan, Antoni Marí, said they were "appalled" by what hap- pened. "She was a very young person and had a one and a half year old baby" said the mayor.

Parliament calls for free air- Scene of the accident: Segio G Canizares port parking for residents The proposals also require that Ib-Salut patients and their relatives who have to travel to Palma can park at airports Driver Charged with free of charge for the duration of their stay. The Committee on Institutional and General Affairs of the Balearic Parliament has issued notice of their approval of a proposal submitted by the Més per Menorca group, Reckless Manslaughter which has been unanimously agreed, to request National Airports and Air Navigation (AENA) to not charge Bale- aric island residents "for the first thirty minutes, time necessary to pick up or fire relatives and / or friends." following Fatal Crash The Més per Menorca initiative also urges AENA to The deceased has been named as Vanessa Patrico, a 32 year old mother and daughter of the ex- presi- "implement free parking in the islands' airports for Ib- dent of the Sant Joan PP Salut patients and their relatives living in Menorca, Eivis- sa and Formentera, who must travel to the reference hos- pital of Son Espases ". Vanessa Patricio died Thursday morning, the 9th of were, were reported as unharmed bu the emergency For health reasons February, after being hit by a vehicle as she walked service 061. In addition, and thanks to this motion, the Parliament will along the side of a road close to the airport. One of the drivers involved in the collision and several address the agency that manages the airports to enable "a The 32 year old mother was walking close to her place workers from companies in the area called 061 at break room at the airport of Son Sant Joan (Palma) for of work, the Volkswagen dealership, close to the Cepsa 9.05am, to report that a pedestrian had been hit by a patients and companions To move between islands for petrol station. She was hit by one car following it being car in front of Iborra Hermanos, located on the road health reasons. " hit by another in a collision just before 9am parallel to the airport highway.

Drivers of both vehicles, a Seat Altea and a Land Rover Paramedics attending attempted resuscitation for 25

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 8 Food & Drink

figs, asparagus, bananas, or nuts, because of their ap- pearance or form, we naturally succumb to the tempta- tion to follow the paths of our associations and jump from the idea of fertility enhancers to substances that arouse sexual excitement. In this context, the name of Giacomo Casanova faithful- ly rears its head and his own (be it probably all too par- tial) description (volume 12 of his Histoire de ma vie [Story of my Life], chapter 2, 54-57) of eating his be- loved oysters in female company deserves to be quoted in full, as he and his insatiable appetite for oysters are so often taken for granted. In these memoirs of his, most mentions of oysters refer to social gatherings where he is entertained and plied with platefuls of them. But on this special occasion, he is in Rome, amongst friends; it’s 1771 (more than 20 years before he wrote his memoirs) and after an evening at the opera with Armellina and Emilia, two young women from a convent whom he has got to know through common acquaintanc- Oysters have been associated with having aphrodisiac properties since Roman times es, has ordered oysters, rum and champagne in the pri- vate rooms of an inn and is introducing them to his “oyster game”, one of his ways of enjoying them: Oysters for Lovers …. Casanova on Oysters Ever since Roman times, we have written sources that the magical virtues of oysters and of shells is to be “I put the shell to her [Emilia’s] mouth, I told her to claim the sexual potency of the oyster. Imperial orgies found all over the world, from prehistoric until modern suck in the liquid and keep the oyster between her lips. were never complete without provisions of oysters in times” (1952/1961, 125). Mollusc shells, in particular, She performed the feat to the letter after laughing their thousands. Galen of Pergamon (129-199), possi- seem to have been associated with fertility, and were heartily, and I took the oyster by pressing my lips to bly the most accomplished physician of all antiquity, a valued gift and amulet to girls on reach- hers with the greatest decency. She was prescribed oysters as a cure for declining sexual desire. ing puberty. They have been found in delighted by the delicacy with which I During the Middle Ages, it was generally known that places connected with agricultural, took the oyster from her the oyster “exciteth Venus”- and so on throughout his- nuptial and funerary rites, and lips…….It was by chance that a tory and literature. There was even a Victorian under- symbolised the magical powers fine oyster which I gave Emi- ground magazine of erotica, published in the 1880’s, of the womb, of birth and lia, putting the shell to her called The Oyster, and devoted to more heterosexual rebirth. And the Greek leg- lips, dropped into her bos- material than its predecessor, The Pearl. So it was no end of the birth of Aphro- om she made to recover small wonder that the poor country girls, the oyster- dite, the goddess of love, it, but I claimed that it was wenches who stalked the streets of the growing cities, from a shell (often mistaken mine by right, and she had hawking their wares, were often regarded as prosti- for an oyster’s but in fact to yield, let me unlace her, tutes. more a scallop’s) in the foam and gather it with my lips But even in earlier societies, there has been overwhelm- of the sea is a metaphor for the from the depth to which it had ing evidence of the magical beliefs in shells, as the re- same belief. So this symbolism of dropped. In the course of this semblance between the mollusc shell and the female mollusc shells is the first part of she had to bear with my uncover- genital organ helped spawn associations. As Mircea the aphrodisiac equation of the oyster. ing her bosom completely but I Eliade, the famous historian of religions, wrote “belief in As with other aphrodisiacs like avocados, retrieved the oyster in such a way that

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 9 @ Valentine’s

Royal Plaza, Valentine’s is not just about the dinner. Valentine’s Dinner at The Royal Plaza The St Valentine’s menu at The Royal Plaza hotel is loving feeling to stop at the coffee do you? always something rather special, which is just as it At the Plaza it doesn’t have to, as they should be for telling that very special person they are again offer an overnight stay as irresistible exactly that. as the menu. This year’s six course feast will add fuel to the fire of A couple can stay with breakfast and a any love. From Scallops to Lobster to an Eastern spiced very Valentine friendly late afternoon Turbot, through a Cointreau laced sorbet, and ending checkout for just 170€. with, what else, but Passion fruit and Chocolate foam. So whilst everybody else is dealing with Irresistible. taxis and sorting sitters out, you can be But for the very best Valentine’s you don’t want that doing just what St Valentine ordered……

there was no sign of my having felt any pleasure except she refused to give any sign of it. that of having recovered, chewed and swallowed it. Ar- “I want my oyster,” I said. mellina watched the whole procedure without smiling, “Take it.” in searching for the oyster. surprised that I appeared to show no interest in what I “I unlaced her whole bodice, and, the oyster having After retrieving and swallowing it, I took hold of one of had seen. Four or five oysters later I gave one to Armel- dropped as far down as possible, I complained that I her breasts, demanding the liquid from the oyster which lina, who was sitting on my lap, and I cleverly dropped would have to bring it up with my hand. Good God! had spilled on it I seized the rosebud with my avid it into her bosom, which brought a laugh from Emilia, What torment for a man in love to have to hide the ex- lips, surrendering to all the voluptuous feelings inspired who at bottom was annoyed that Armellina had escaped cess of his delight at such a moment! Armellina had not in me by the imaginary milk which I sucked for a good a test of an intrepidity such as she had shown me. But I the slightest pretext to accuse me of anything, for I did two or three minutes.” saw that Armellina was delighted by the mishap, though not touch her beautiful breasts, hard as marble, except

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 10 Living in Spain der the limit, however this licence exchange in order advice comes with an im- to deduct points from a portant note of caution. licence when the holder has The capacity of the body to committed an offence. metabolise alcohol is finite, and is limited to about 16- 20 units per day. If you Drink Driving consistently drink around or above this level, you will Penalties probably never be below Penalties for driving with a the limit. blood alcohol level of over 0.5 g/l (0.3 for new drivers) can include: Spanish Drink A fine of up to 600€ Drive Limits – Deduction of six points from the driving licence The Facts Suspension of driving The legal maximum limits licence for three months are: Additionally a minimum A blood alcohol level of fine of 1000€ applies if a 0.5 grams per litre driver is (A breath alcohol level of more than double the 0.25 mg per litre) drink drive limit For drivers holding a li- reoffending drink driver cence for less than two refuses to take a breath- years alyser test A blood alcohol level of 0.3 grams per litre found driving while un- der the influence of (A breath alcohol level of drugs (at any quantity) 0.15 mg per litre) Drivers are obliged to sub- mit to a breathalyser test Serious at the request of a police Know your limits! Alcohol absorption varies for men, women and frogs. officer in the following Offences situations: The penalties for driving If the vehicle was in- with a blood alcohol level volved in an accident of over 1.2 g/l can include: If the driver is suspected A prison sentence of Drink Driving Regulations to be under the influ- between three and six Spain's drink driving laws are stricter than the UK. In Spain the legal limit is 0.5mg of alcohol per ml of ence of alcohol or other months or blood. In the UK, the limit is 0.8mg. Spanish rules also dictate that new drivers have to adhere to lower substances A fine and between 31 levels. If the driver has broken a and 91 days of communi- law, such as speeding ty service From the 9th May 2014, Spanish regulations state that a minimum fine of 1000€ will be payable by driv- ers caught whilst twice over the drink drive limit, and/or in all cases for reoffending drink drivers, and/ At a random control Suspension of driving or all drivers found under the influence of drugs. point (control de alcho- licence for between one lemia) set up by the and four years

police. Confiscation Slow and The Spanish Police will confiscate the vehicle of a driver who has Steady. Points System been found to be over the Life in Spain often involves Spain applies a points sys- legal limit of alcohol, or a slow and steady approach tem to driving licences. under the influence of to drinking. Long leisurely Spanish residents drugs. lunches are the norm and (including non-Spanish An exception can be made so the question of how nationals who hold an NIE if a passenger has a valid quickly the alcohol con- number) have an initial licence and is able to legally sumed leaves the system is allocation of 12 points. drive the vehicle. often in question. Points are deducted ac- If a vehicle is confiscated According to research by cording to the severity of the driver is liable for the the UK government’s the offence. When no costs of towing and stor- Transport and Road Re- points remain, the licence is age. All costs must be paid search Laboratory, the rate cancelled and the driver before the vehicle is re- UK guidelines based on men, and just under 2 units at which alcohol is metabo- must complete an educa- leased. 2 Small Glass- 80mg per litre of blood, are for women. lised and removed from the tion process to have it reis- It is compulsory for non- 4 units for men, 3 for wom- For men this equates to 3 bloodstream averages out sued. residents to pay fines im- en, to keep below that small glasses of wine, or 3 at one unit per hour, start- While EU driving licences mediately, in cash. es of Wine or 3 level. cañas. ing one hour after the first are valid in Spain, the Span- If this is not possible, the Applying this to the Span- For women even 2 glasses drink is finished. Working ish authorities cannot de- vehicle will be confiscated Cañas , That’s ish limit of 50mg per litre of wine or 2 cañas are push- on this guidance you could duct points from a non- regardless of whether an of blood results in a limit of ing the limit based on those consider that one more Spanish EU licence. For this alternate driver is available. Your Lot. 2.5 units of alcohol for UK guidelines. caña or small glass of wine reason, they may insist on a per hour will keep you un-

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 11 Living in Spain the phone (Tel: 901 010 210, not free) or online using the link below, you will need your DNI/NIE and post code and you should check the follow- ing box ‘Solicitudes de prestaciones contributi- vas, subsidios y PREPARA’. https://sede.sepe.gob.es/citaprevia/ solicitudCitaPrevia.do

To save time, you can download and complete the applica- tion form to take with you to the appointment. http://www.sepe.es/contenidos/personas/prestaciones/ pdf/impreso_solicitud_contributiva.pdf

You should also take with you the following: Certificado de empresa – you should have be given this at the end of your employment con- tract The Demanda/Tarjeta del paro – handed to you at first appointment The completed application form ‘Solicitud de prestación’ and a copy Your NIE original and a copy (or DNI) Your passport and a copy Your bank account details Your Libro de familia and a copy or your chil- dren’s birth certificates Your two most recent payslips or nóminas

Full details of all benefits available including those for self- employed people and workers not meeting the above re- quirements can be found on the official website. El Paro, what you will get and how to get it http://www.sepe.es/contenidos/personas/prestaciones/ distributiva_prestaciones.html

For independent advice regarding benefits, with frequently asked questions please visit the website below. El Paro - Unemployment www.citapreviainem.es/prestaciones-ayudas-por- desempleo/ Benefit in Spain Unlike England, not everyone can claim unemployment ben- For self-employed workers and those working part time the efit or ‘El Paro’. In Spain you must have contributed into the amount payable and the length for which it can be claimed is system and the amount you receive is dependent on various different, visit the INEM website more details. The Egg factors. Below are the basics, however if you have a special situation or further questions, you can find more infor- Nicole Torres mation on their website. How much will you get? In 1992 this sculpture was built to commemorate the 500th Factors that will determine how much unemployment bene- annyversary of the discovery of fit you will be paid include the number of children, whether America, and because of a legend that El Paro - To qualify? you have claimed before in the past and how much you were says Christopher Columbus was born on Must have a social security number (número de earning each month when you were employed, taking the this part of the island. seguridad social) average figure from the last six months. The monument was created by three men: Antoni Hormigo, As a rule, it will be 70% of the gross amount of your monthly Julio Bauzá and Julio Ojeda. Must have worked for a minimum of 360 days on wage for the first six months. After this, the percentage It is built of reinforced concrete and stands six metres tall in contract drops down to 50% of your monthly wage amount. the centre of the roundabout on the way in to San Antonio. Must have lost your job involuntarily The minimum and maximum amounts that you can claim, are Representing the egg Columbus supposedly used to as follows: convince Queen Isabel of Castilla to finance his voyage, it Social security number Minimum without children: 497,00€ - Maxi- consists of an iron replica of the Santa María – the head ship Most people will have received a little paper card or letter mum without children: 1087,20€ used on the first voyage – with its prow pointing west, from the Ministerio de Trabajo y Asuntos Sociales which has towards America. your name, social security number and DNI or NIE typed Minimum with children: 664,74€ - Maximum onto it, otherwise, your social security number will appear on your work contract and on each payslip. with one child: 1242,52€ Employed for 360 days Maximum with two or more children: 1397,84€ To be able to claim unemployment benefit, you must have worked on contract for a minimum of 360 days (días cotiza- Unemployment subsidy dos) over the last six years. The 360 days does not have to A small subsidy is available for some people even though be continual and it doesn’t even have to be for the same they may not have worked a full year, or if their unemploy- employer during this time. ment benefit period has run out and they are still out of work. It is best to check to see whether you are eligible. This Involuntary loss of work is a fixed amount of 426€ per month. El Paro can only be claimed in the following circumstances Your work contract comes to an end and your employer decides not to continue it, The Process You are sacked from your position Make an appointment to get your Demanda/ Tarjeta del Paro, you need your DNI/NIE and this Your hours are reduced by more than a third can be done over the phone (Tel: 012) or online *If you decide to leave employment, then you can’t make a using the link below selecting the option claim. ‘Demanda’. This is the first step and essential as To receive El Paro from the first day after your contract ends, you must present all the required documentation you cannot claim any benefit, subsidy or training within 15 working days of your termination date at your scheme without it and is proof of your unem- nearest SEPE (Servicio Público de Empleo Estatal) office. ployment. If you know your contract is about to end, you can apply for http://soib.fundaciobit.org/citagenfront/BitController? an appointment while you are still employed just make sure accion=IniciarReserva&idCampanya=81&lang=es that the date of your appointment is after the last working date specified on your contract. You will need to take your original DNI/NIE, passport and a mobile telephone number to the appointment. You will be asked a few questions regarding your profession, driving How long can you claim for? license etc. lasting no more than 10 minutes and will be El Paro can be claimed from 4 months up to a maximum of 2 handed your Demanda/DARDE. years. The length is determined by contributions accumulat- ed during the previous 6 years. Make an appointment to present all documenta- The general rule is that for every year worked you can claim tion to SEPE office. Again you can do this over a total of four months unemployment benefit. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 12 News

clear that she would like to restrict freedom of move- ment from EU countries to the UK, a policy that would- in all probability be reciprocated by the EU against Brit- ish citizens. The logical conclusion is that that British citizens would stand to lose the automatic right to live and work in the EU after Brexit. Pro-Brexit campaigners in Britain were outraged at the prospect stating it was ‘divisive’ and a ‘betrayal’ to the democratic process. Jayne Adye, director of the Get Britain Out campaign described the proposal as divisive and said it was “totally unacceptable” for British people to retain the advantages of EU membership. Speaking to the Independent she said “This is an out- rage. The EU is now attempting to divide the great British public at the exact moment we need unity. 17.4 million people voted to Leave the EU on 23 June and as a result the UK as a whole will get Brexit. “Brexit means laws which impact the people of the UK will be created by accountable politicians in Westmin- ster. It is totally unacceptable for certain citizens in the UK to subject themselves to laws which are created by politicians who are not accountable the British people as Will we or won’t we? How many ex-pats would give up their UK citizenship in a post Brexit ? a whole. Discriminating against people based on their political views shows there are no depths the EU will not sink to.” MEP Maintains Associate EU Britain voted to leave the EU on June 23rd 2016, but has not yet started the exit negotiation process. The Government is currently embroiled in a legal wrangle over whether it can trigger negotiations using Royal Citizenship to be a Realistic Prerogative, without consulting Parliament.

Article and Interview by Tom Ambition Batchelor, The Independent 6th February 2017, Nick Gibbs In November 2016 we reported on the proposals by EU to Consider ’Opt-In’ Citi- Online Luxembourg MEP Charles Goerens to create an associ- zenship for Brexit Brits Britons must be offered ‘associate EU citizenship’ what- ever the outcome of May’s Brexit negotiations, says ate EU citizenship, allowing people from any state that The European Parliament is set to consider a proposal MEP opted to leave the union to retain their EU rights and to allow British citizens to keep their European Union Retaining partial membership of the EU would allow privileges. citizenship after the UK leaves the EU. UK nationals to travel and work freely inside the bloc As more information has become available as to the The plan is the brainchild of Liberal Luxemborg MEP Britons could be offered “associate citizenship” of the British Government's intentions regarding their Brexit Charles Goeren. It is to be tabled as an amendment be- European Union after Brexit even if Theresa May position and process, Goerens has continued to fly the fore a parliamentary committee. If successful it would blocks the plan, the MEP who drafted the proposal has euro-flag of the idea that will be seen by many expats as allow citizens of former member states the right to ‘opt- said. something between a vital lifeline and a security blan- in’ to retain “associate citizenship” of the EU. “Associate citizenship” remains a “realistic” ambition ket, depending on the ultimate outcome of the Brexit The move will be seen as a potential lifeline by British and Brussels should make it available to UK nationals negotiations. citizens who have made lives around the EU, the high- even if the British Government vetoes the plan during In essence the idea presented is that any British nation- est number of which are in Spain. Crucially, associate negotiations, Charles Goerens said. al (or in future any other national if their country left citizens would keep the right to free movement around Commenting in the wake of the Government’s Brexit the EU), could choose to take on an EU citizenship the EU. They would also retain voting rights in Europe- White Paper, he said he was increasingly hopeful that whilst retaining their British passport. Under the asso- an elections, affording those who decided to opt in politi- his proposal would be offered to the UK once it quits the ciate citizenship they would retain all the rights of cal representation in Brussels. bloc. movement, employment, healthcare and property own- The plan will be heard as ‘Amendment 882’ before the In November, The Independent revealed that a plan for ership etc they currently hold as a British Member of European Parliament’s Constitutional Affairs Commit- “associate citizenship”, proposed by Mr Goerens, was the EU. They would also be able to vote in European tee, which is working on a wider brief to report on being considered by the European Parliament. elections. “Possible evolutions of and adjustments to the current It would allow UK nationals who applied for EU citi- Speaking in an interview with the Independent, Goerens institutional set-up of the European Union”. zenship to work anywhere inside the union as well as says he is increasingly hopeful that the plan could be Goeren’s amendment calls for “European associate citi- giving them a vote in European Parliament elections – accepted - though before we get too excited it is im- zenship for those who feel and wish to be part of the while retaining their British passport. portant to remember that Theresa May’s government European project but are nationals of a former Member The Luxembourg MEP said there was no real opposition team can veto the scheme, and there are many hard-line State offers these associate citizens the rights of free- to the policy from his fellow lawmakers in Brussels and Brexiteers who will push hard for her to do so. dom of movement and to reside on its territory as well Strasbourg, who will be given the final say on the Brex- Here we print our original article from November, and as being represented in the Parliament through a vote in it deal in a vote at the European parliament. then the recent interview with the Independent newspa- the European elections on the European lists”. And he said the EU’s negotiators should make it a red per. Though the British Government has given very little line in future discussions, adding that eventual treaty A petition calling for support of Goerens proposals cur- detail as to exectly what it wants for Britain’s post- change was in the interests of those on both sides of the rently has 175,000 signatures. A link to the petition is Brexit future, Prime Minister Theresa May has made given at the foot of the article. Channel. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 13 News Spanish PM calls on UK to ensure Brexit is “quick & constructive” Mariano Rajoy spoke with his opposite number, and in a White Paper published on Thursday. She also capital in the purchase of properties – not to mention the Theresa May, at a meeting on Friday morning explained the calendar ahead of the activation of Article 15.5 million Britons who visited the country in 2015, with

As reported in El Paid 3rd 50 of the EU treaty, which will officially trigger Brexit UK tourists topping the list of nationalities that visit February 2017 and must happen before March. Spain. According to sources consulted by EL PAÍS, both the What’s more, the is the second destina- Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy conveyed to The- Spanish and British PM coincided on the need to “not tion for Spanish investment abroad, while the trade bal- resa May on Friday that the United Kingdom’s exit from damage the interests of Spanish and British citizens” re- ance is in Spain’s favor (€7 billion in 2015). All of these the European Union – commonly known as “Brexit” – siding in each other’s countries. More than 300,000 Brit- factors account for Rajoy’s interest in the Brexit process must happen “quickly, and with a constructive and positive ons – most of whom are retired – are currently living in involving “the continuation of good relations between the approach,” according to government sources. Rajoy’s 25- Spain, while around 200,000 Spaniards – most of whom United Kingdom and the EU,” according to government minute meeting with the British prime minister took place are young and highly qualified – live in the United King- sources. on Friday morning at the request of the latter, ahead of an dom. The thorny issue of Gibraltar – the UK territory in south- informal EU summit of heads of state or government that The two leaders agreed on the need to not damage the ern Spain over which the Spanish government has long is taking place today in Valletta, Malta. interests of citizens living in each other’s countries claimed sovereignty – was not discussed at Friday’s meet- May, who also met with other European leaders, explained It is in Spain’s interest for British citizens living in the ing, according to the same sources. Nor was the position to her interlocutors the details of the British position on country to remain comfortable post-Brexit, given that that Europe should take with regard to Donald Trump. Brexit, a stance that she explained last month in a speech many claim pensions from the UK and invest plenty of

The proposal has offered hope to many who fear Britain is closing itself off from Europe and the opportunities it provides. Mr Goerens said the Prime Minister’s remarks were “very positive” and showed she understood there was a “real problem” for Britons living both in the UK and Europe. “Theresa May’s proposal is a step in the right direc- tion,” he told The Independent in a phone interview from Brussels. “The White paper was a clear signal that I was not to- tally unrealistic by launching the idea of European ‘associate citizenship’. “It is for technical reasons that she wasn't more out- spoken on this issue. “She sent a clear signal that she has understood that there is a real problem. Let’s not be too pessimistic about that." “European ‘associate citizenship’ is still on the agenda of the European Parliament,” he continued. “You can say on the one hand that it is not a solution Man with a plan. MEP Charles Goerens is responsible for the Associate EU Citizenship initiative. that would be in line with today's legislation, with Euro- pean law, but on the other hand if there is a political will “The European Parliament will have the last say on the cession made by the UK. we can overcome the obstacles to it. arrangement between the European Commission and the He said: “Even if there were no move made in this direc- “We can have treaty change, we can have political pro- UK, we have a good opportunity to make clear our views tion by the United Kingdom, in my view we should even cess on the conviction that European citizenship, or on what should be the outcome of this process, and one unilaterally offer the European associate citizenship to ‘associate citizenship’, is in everybody’s interest.” of the outcomes is the status of people most negatively UK citizens because it would be in everybody’s interest If the proposal is included in the final Brexit deal that affected by Brexit.” to act in this way. MEPs will vote on at the end of the two year negotiating Opposition to the plan may come in the form of hard-line “It is still achievable because once Brexit is concluded period, Mr Goerens said he was confident it would be Eurosceptics, who claim associate membership of the EU people will be stripped of all their rights linked to Euro- passed. would dilute Brexit and create a two-tier system that pean citizenship. We must launch this process in a prag- “As far as I see, there is no real opposition unless you would undermine British citizenship. matic way, but why should it not be practical?” talk to the right-wing parties represented in the Europe- Those concerns may be enough to convince Ms May to an parliament, and some fanatic Brexiteers,” he said. veto the proposal from Mr Goerens and his colleagues in Link to the petition to allow the option of Associate EU Citizenship “It is up to politicians to react and to take initiative. It is the European Parliament. https://www.change.org/p/eu-offer-european-citizenship- up to us to move the lines, we are not only the observers, But the MEP said 'associate citizenship' should be of- to-uk-citizens we are the actors. fered to Britons regardless of any reciprocal offer or con- The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 14 Ibiza Aloe Vera 'I liked it so much, I joined the company' Ibizan writer Carly Sorensen has recently discov- you'd ered the benefits of aloe Vera to health and has set up a small business from home to promote normally spend on food and sell them around the island. and drinks. I can vouch For over 4000 years, people have used the jelly and that it leaves you feel- juice from the aloe vera plant to boost health. It contains ing fantastic and full natural antiseptics, immune boosters, anti ulceric, anti of energy, clears all the inflammatory and cell generation boosters as well as 19 toxins out of your body vitamins and minerals, including A,C,E, B12, calcium, so afterwards you can ab- zinc, selenium and magnesium. It's little wonder it has sorb the nutrients in what been called the 'medicine plant' for centuries. Almost 40 you eat much better. Weight years ago in Arizona, USA, Forever Living was loss really depends on how clean estblished, producing cosmetics and health products you usually eat, but the average around with aloe as their main ingredient. Today they are the is 2-5kg. I lost over 13 cm and 3 kilos when I did this at worlds biggest growers of Aloe and their products are end of a very over indulgent (but fun!) summer. Great sold in 150 countries, including Spain. I am one of their kickstart to a healthier lifestyle. You can purchase from happy customers and, more recently, distributors. For- the Combo Pak section of the weblink at the end.

ever Living's products are cruelty free and safe to use on all skins, including young and sensitive skins. Many 2. Aloe Gelly are paraben free and suitable for vegans too. Forever As close to breaking open an aloe leaf and rubbing it on make hundreds of products for health and nutrition, your skin as you'll ever get. Effective in relief of minor personal care, cosmetics, hair and beauty, weight man- cuts and burns, blemishes and skin irritations, reduces agement, sports performance and animal care but for the scarring from cuts, burns and acne, soothes and reduces purposes of this article, I'm just going to tell you about cradle cap, soothes gums during teething, and great on my personal six favourites. bites and stings. My three year old always reacts to mosquito bites and this stuff rubbed in gives her instant 1. C9. relief from the itch and takes the redness and swelling you buy the This a nine day body cleanse, consisting of Aloe Vera down straight away. 18.46€ for a 118ml tube, in Per- berry or peach ones which are deli- drinking gel, protein shakes (vanilla or chocolate ) and sonal Care section of link. cious!), this is a must for healthy digestion, immune

three supplements, Therm (for energy), Garcinia (which system support, gut urinary and oral health, improved helps to suppress appetite) and fibre sticks (to help you 3. Aloe lips skin tone, weight management and energy levels, and feel full). Days 1 and 2 are the hardest days as you are A lip balm with aloe, jojoba and bee propolis this contains an abundance of vitamins, minerals, antioxi- only allowed the above and fruit and veg from the free doesn´t just moisturise and protect your lips, it's bril- dants and goodies! Suitable for the whole family to drink food list (such as apples, strawberries, brocolli, carrots), liant on bites and burns when you're out and about – peach flavour recommended for kids. I saw a big im- however you are nutritionally getting everything your too...a mini first aid stick in your pocket! I never leave provement in my skin and hair condition, energy levels body requires. On Days 3-9 you follow the plan in the home without it and my daughter uses it now too, since and digestion and immune system taking this. Writing same way but add a 600 calorie meal in the evening – it cleared up some serious chapping under her bottom lip this has actually reminded me I need to restock! Price recipes are included in the booklet with your pack and whilst we were in freezing Denmark. 4.31€ for a 4.25g ranges from 28 – 38€ per litre depending on the flavour support online via your distributor. No tea or coffee, tube, in Personal Care section of link. you choose. See Drinks section of link.

juice, alcohol or sugary drinks are allowed just water or decaff herbal teas. It's just been reduced in price to 4. Drinking Gel 5. Aloe Shield Deodorant. 121€ , 13.40€ a day isn't bad when you think what Although the flavour takes some getting used to (unless I love this. I have sensitive skin and used to find deodor- ants stung or made me sweat more. This is solid stick is soothing, delicate smelling, moisturising, leaves no marks or stains on clothes and doesn't contain any alco- hol or aluminium. Lasts all day too. 8.89€ for 92g (mine has lasted 3 months so far with daily use and is barely a quarter finished – great value!) Available in Personal Care on link.

6.Forever Bright Toothgel. Another staple in our bathroom. This is natural gel made with aloe vera, bee propolis and mint, is non abra- sive, paraben free and flouride free. It does everything toothpaste should do, but without damaging tooth enam- el. My teeth are whiter than before I started using it, my gums never bleed like they occasionally used to and my mouth doesn't sting like it does with some other tooth- pastes. My three year old loves it too! 9.50€ for a 130g tube in Personal Care section of weblink, a little goes a long way...I have just ordered a new one after 2 months of 2, sometimes 3 of us, using it twice a day.

You can buy and read more about these and all the other products via the following https://www.facebook.com/ibizaaloevera The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 15 Tourism 2017 Pacha Group Sold for 350m€ Founder Ricardo Urgell will retain a small shareholding in the Pacha group following its sale to Trilantic Capital Partners. Founder and owner of the Pacha group Ricardo Urgell, and representatives of Trilantic Capital partners signed the sale agreement on 2nd February. The sale is considered to be valued at around 350million euros however Ricardo Urgell will retain a minority shareholding. Speaking after the agreement, Urgell said he was “frankly excited about this new chapter for the compa- ny” and talked of a commitment to boost Pacha’s busi- ness both on Ibiza, around its worldwide venues and numerous business interests. According to reports in the Diario de Ibiza, the sale will take around two months to Jet2 Managing Director Steve Heapy said, “This growth demonstrates our commitment to Ibiza. complete subject to formalities including approval by the competition and monopoly’s authorities. When speaking of the likelihood of the sale late in 2016 Urgell stated that, the transfer would encompass all Jet2.com Announce 48% assets of the Pacha Group. In Ibiza this includes the Pacha , hotel Pacha, the cabaret restaurant club Lio, Destino Pacha Ibiza resort, and of course the Increase In Ibiza Trade first Pacha club which was actually in Stiges and The British airline announced their growth plans at the FITUR tourism trade fair in Madrid. opened in 1967, four years before Pacha Ibiza, the ven- Jet2.com will operate 9 routes with up to 59 Ibiza flights per week in 2017. ue that earned the group its worldwide reputation under the icon of the two cherry logo. Over the years, Pacha Jet2.com made their announcement of a significant in- In addition to the airline’s increase, the sister holiday has extended to venues worldwide in addition to its crease in their Ibiza business for the coming season at company Jet2holidays.com has mirrored the growth by merchandising and recording interests. the recent FITUR trade fair. now offering holidays at 168 contracted hotels. The new owners have stated that not only will they The 48% increase in available seats for 2017 comes on Jet2 Managing Director Steve Heapy said, “This maintain the current number of employees in Ibiza, but top of a 20% increase in 2016 over 2015 and will take growth demonstrates our commitment to Ibiza. We expect to increase significantly the workforce as part of the total number of seats offered by the airline to over have increased the number of flights and availability of their development plans. 470,000. hotels throughout the season as proof of our strong be- The European division of Trilantic fund management Traditionally associated with the north of England and lief in the island”. specialise in companies with a turnover of between 20 Scotland, their 9 routes now extend to include London Ibiza Tourist Board President Vicente Torrres Guasch and 1000million euros. Their investments are concen- Stansted, , Birmingham, East Midlands, Edin- commented, “We are absolutely delighted and grateful trated in Italy and Spain, where it has a 64% stake in burgh, Glasgow, , and Newcastle. In to Jet2. for their support and their positive approach to railway construction group Talgo. high season, they will be operating 59 flights per week our island speaks for itself. We hope to continue grow- compared to 46 in 2016. ing together for many more years to come.”

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 16 Tourism 2017 Cristiano Ronaldo's hotel chain set for Ibiza expansion Spanish Sports newspaper Marca says that Ronaldo’s widely reported Ibiza holiday this year was the catalyst for the decision to expand into Ibiza. Artist’s impression of the completed superyacht berths. The Real Madrid star has decided to implement his brand 'Pestana CR7 Lifestyle Hotels' on the Island with the opening of four hotels. Ibiza Town Marina Development Sovren house group has announced plans to develop a marina with berths up to 185m in Ibiza town. Facilities set to be open in time for 2017 season

The Balearic Islands Port Authority (APB) has award- the Balearics in providing this kind of marina that is Ronaldo partnered with Pestana Hotel Group in late ed the marina specialist division of Sovren House worthy of the expanding fleet of superyachts. Currently 2015 and the Portuguese group has confirmed the Group, YSM, the concession to create a new superyacht we are focused on working with local port authorities as agreement with JLL Hotels & Hospitality Group (JLL) marina in the Port of Ibiza Town. Located in the heart well as the town hall and the mayor to highlight the for the new venture on the Balearic island. of Ibiza Town, Sovren Marina plans to open in time for areas in which the marina can give a positive effect and the 2017 season as reported in Superyacht News. benefit the local community.” The concession encompasses the area formerly occupied Ibiza has been growing in popularity as the trendiest by the marina Port Ibiza Town and the area of Duques superyacht destination in the Mediterranean. Every de Alba, as well as a new facility called Es Martell on summer it is overrun with superyachts making the most the Darsena del Levante dock, which together covers of its plentiful cruising options, anchorages and hip par- most of the old town docks. ty scene, and White fully expects this momentum to Situated by the historic Dalt Vila, in the past this part continue. of the port was used as the main car ferry dock to the “Obviously everything goes in cycles but the western mainland, which led to congestion and pollution within Med has always been a popular superyacht destination,” the UNESCO world heritage site. A collaboration be- he explains. “Spain has been very careful and pragmatic tween the town hall, local Port Authority and Ibiza’s about developing its charter market and now has a clear Pestana group will select independent hotels in Ibiza, Chamber of Commerce led to the ferry dock being system in place to make it easy for superyachts to oper- either existing or under construction, that are appropri- moved to the newly constructed cruise terminal near to ate in Spain.” ate to be included in the CR7 brand. the new outer port wall, therefore making way for Sov- White points out this has been recognised by MYBA "The most interesting areas are Ibiza city, Santa Eulalia ren’s new development, which has been six years in the with the new location of this year’s MYBA Charter del Rio and Playa d'en Bossa," the company said in a making. Show in Barcelona, which highlights the opportunity in statement. Ibiza has historically catered well for the smaller Spain. “Whereas Barcelona is seen more as a homeport superyacht segment with marinas such as Botafoch, and winter destination, the Balearics is viewed as a year Ibiza Magna and Marina Ibiza, but Sovren’s new devel- -round destination for cruising and refit.” opment will target larger superyachts, offering 16 The launch of Sovren Marina promises to make a signif- berths in tota. This will include one 185m and one icant impact on superyachting in the Balearics and re- 125m alongside berth and 16 stern-to berths for yachts flects the growing demand for berths in the region as a up to 100m. direct outcome of the easing cruising regulations in “We’re delighted to have been awarded this conces- Spain. The concept behind the development also fits in sion,” says Stephen White, CEO of Sovren House with a new breed of marinas and infrastructure that Group. “I am really excited about the positive impact superyachts are becoming accustomed to. With the likes that YSM and Sovren can and will make, not only on of OneOcean Barcelona and Porto Montenegro setting a the economy of Ibiza Town, but also on the appeal of the new standard in the industry, Sovren Marina is further Photos: Top CR7 Madeira, Centre CR7 Lisbon, island to superyacht owners and charterers worldwide. evidence of the smartening up of the marina sector. Bottom Ronaldo attending the opening of the “We will be ground breaking both in Ibiza and across Madeira Hotel

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 17 Tourism 2017

900,000 842,004 Total Number of Tourists Double 800,000 to Ibiza in 2016 700,000 650,730 Dutch 600,000 500,000 2016 Figures 395,886 400,000 330,428 317,423 317,692 Show a Record 300,000

High for the Low 200,000 149,281 Countries, but is 100,000 0 the German Love U.K. Spa in Italy Germany Fra nce Rest of Hol, Bel, Affair Over? World Lux Business from Holland, Belgium and Luxem- 45.0 bourg up over 40%. 40.7 Brits continue to be far and away the largest % Change of Tourists to national group. 40.0 Everywhere on the up, but Spain and Germany Ibiza in 2016 way behind the rest. 34.3 35.0 The official FRONTUR tourists stats have been re- leased by the Balearic statistics institute, and the fig- 30.0 ures for the full year to 31st December show some in- 26.2 teresting insights to the world tourist market’s relative 25.0 love affair with brand Ibiza. Everywhere is up. The FRONTUR figures are the only ones that matter 20.0 in the tourist industry. The good news for those relying on tourism for their 15.0 13.2 income, or bad news for those bemoaning the ability to 9.5 find beach towel space in August, is that for the ump- 10.0 teenth year in a row, all recorded sectors of Ibizan tour- ism are up. 5.0 2.1 The British account for by far the largest proportion of 0.6 holidaymakers, and with a 9.5% increase at 842k, are 0.0 well placed to break the 1 million target set by Ibiza’s U.K. Spa in Italy Germany Fra nce Rest of Hol, Bel, tourism chiefs at this year’s London trade show— World Lux though they will requires a bigger year on year increase in 2017 than 2016 to achieve it. Of everythi9ng that can be gained from raw numbers, it reduction in growth, so all eyes will be on the figures for A small point, but worthy of mention for those interest- is the huge increase in business from the Dutch/Belgian/ the coming season. If the German trend continues in ed in developing winter trade, is that the UK figures to Luxembourg market that really stands out. This group- 2017, they would become the first grouping to show a the end of October were showing an increase of over ing was not available in the figures to the end of October reduction in business since, well actually since nobody 10%. This drop back by half a percent in the last when they were grouped withy ‘rest of the world’. knows. The current methodology in the collection of months of the year can only indicate a reduction in win- This 40% increase in business from the low countries FRONTUR figures has never shown a drop in business ter tourism. It seems that although BA’s winter sched- leaves them snapping at the heels of the Germans for 4th of any grouping. uled service is being well used by residents and business largest grouping. To put the surge in interest into con- Does it matter? travellers, it is not having a positive effect on winter text, were these figure to be repeated in 2017, the Dutch Perhaps it doesn’t matter at all. Overall Ibiza’s numbers tourist numbers. grouping would overtake the Italians into 3rd place with are up, up and away. The envy of many a Mediterranean Ibiza Tourism to 31st December 2016 only the Spanish and UK ahead of them. isle or hedonist hotspot. Overall, brand Ibiza looks to be People % Change Another figure that will be raising eyebrows amongst in very good shape indeed. Total 2,976,087 12.6 Ibiza’s tourist chiefs is that of the continuing decline in U.K. 842,004 9.5 the growth of holidaymakers from Germany and Spain. Spain 650,730 2.1 Though the figures still show an increase on the previ- Average Length of Stay Much has been said of a perceived reduction of the aver- Italy 395,886 13.2 ous year, at 2.1% the Spanish figure is less than a quar- ter of the next lowest in Britain, and the German figure age length of stay. Though figures do show a reduction, Germany 330,428 0.6 of just 0.6% is 16 times less than the British. it is far lower than may be expected. France 149,281 34.3 Is the German love affair with Ibiza on the wain? Over the period from 2008 (when figures start) to pre- Rest of World 317,423 26.2 Ibiza’s representatives at the Berlin trade fair went to sent, the overall reduction in length of stay in Ibiza and Hol, Bel, Lux 317,692 40.7 lengths to argue they had redressed the German market (Continued on page 18)

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 18 Tourism 2017

but next summer it will make a crossing to the Mediter- ranean Sea to become the venue for the very first edi- tion of ‘THE ARK’. A floating, full-comfort club ‘THE ARK’ is a 4-day party cruise on which 4,000 passengers can enjoy the hottest electronic music. The ship will be converted to a luxurious floating club with no fewer than seven different stages. Specially for the cruise, on-board facilities such as the current cinemas and theatres, as well as the ice skating rink and the upper deck, will all be converted into festive stages with just the right vibe. As well as partying, guests will be pampered on the culinary front with a choice of many on-board restau- rants, an impressive wellness centre and spa, plus the many sports facilities on board will also be available to all passengers. To provide the music for this first edition leading clubs and party brands such and have been tapped up to provide plenty of musical charm and colour. They will take over one stage each and will kit it out with their own stylish decor and production, whilst European party promoters FACT and Belgian clubs Versuz and Kelly Parker/Kitsch Club are also among the cool selection of partners. Musically, there will be a wide range of electronic music catering to everyone’s taste so you can be sure you will be dancing non-stop throughout. The Ark; 4,000 Passenger Par- Three cities, one island The ship sets sail from Barcelona on Thursday, August 31 and from there will travel to Ibiza, where it will dock ty Boat via Ibiza in August with for an entire day. Passengers will have the opportunity to disembark and explore the island before heading to the French city of Marseille, where guests will be able Ministry of Sound and Elrow to spend an afternoon. During the final evening and overnight, the ship will set course for Barcelona again, We have previously reported on the initial announcement of the Party Boat Cruise. This note attached to that report may try of Sound and key Belgian club partners all being where it will arrive the next day, bringing this unique be of interest. soundtracked by over 50 DJs from a variety of electron- mini-vacation to an end. The Market Intrigued by organiser’s claims that Dance music cruise ships ic music genres and first-class entertainments. Well, ‘THE ARK’ – party cruise Itinerary 4D/3N: were big business in the U.S. , we took a quick look on that scene is now to be a reality with ‘THE ARK’, a 4- 31/08 – 5 PM departure from Barcelona Google, and it didn’t take long to see the attraction for in- vestors. day party cruise that will make its maiden voyage from 01/09 – 7 AM arrival in Ibiza. Google’s first return ‘The Holy Ship’ (pictured) is based on Barcelona on August 31st. The Belgian organisers have the 4,100 berth Norwegian Epic. 8 PM Departure from Ibiza They are currently listing two 4 night cruises in January, with created this exciting concept to appeal to an internation- 02/09 -12 PM Arrival in Marseille prices averaging around $1,200 per person. al crowd of music lovers who are looking for a mini- That equates to $4,920,000, just under five million dollars— 5 PM Departure from Marseille and that is before they have sold you a single drink. vacation with all the luxury and comfort of a cruise liner 03/09 – 10 AM arrival in Barcelona and check-out Both events are totally sold out. with waiting lists. combined with the finest DJs from the world of elec- Prices: Ticket prices start at €549,- per person. This

Press Release tronic music. includes a cabin, all meals and soft drinks, all DJ sets For many years, The Freedom of The Seas claimed the Picture the scene: you are laying back in the sun, on and entertainment. Exclusive flight to Barcelona. Prices status of the world’s largest passenger liner and it is one board one of the world’s most luxurious cruise liners vary depending on type of cabin. For all practical info the showpieces of Royal Caribbean International. The with 4,000 passengers, enjoying seven stages hosted by and ticket sales vessel spends most of the year cruising the Caribbean, http://theark.cruises/ the likes of leading dance brands FACT, Elrow, Minis-

(Continued from page 17) in the duration of holidays would have suspected. The differences are apparent, but less extreme, through- Formentera is just 0.5 days, from an average of 5.5 in Leading the international table of duration of stay are out all grades of Hotel. 2008 to an average of 5 in 2016. the Germans at 6.7 nights, followed by the British at 5.7 Ibiza’s average 4 star is 127€, 27% up on the previous Though this average duration is lower than the 6 days nights. Lowest on the table are the Spanish with 3.8 year and around 25% up on the Balearic average, stay for the wider Balearic Islands as a whole, and the days. through to 83€ for 1 star (strangely showing as more drop is greater than the 0.2 days reduction for the re- expensive than 2 star), 28% up on the 2015. gion, it is far lower than those suggesting a major shift Eivissa- Av Room Rate Balearic Islands Formentera Av Nights 2016 2008 Average Room Rate Though Ibiza falls behind the Balearics on average dura- Balearics 6.0 6.2 av Rate an av Rate an tion of stay, it far outstrips the region when it comes to Ibiza/Form 5.0 5.5 the average room rate. 5 Star 211 € 27% 307 € 75% U.K. 5.7 6.2 What will come as little surprise to many is that the 4 Star 97 € 13% 127 € 27% Spain 3.8 3.9 highest hotel grade 5 star shows a massive change in 3 Star 75 € 16% 91 € 0% Italy 4.7 6.5 Ibiza, with an average tariff of 307€ per night, a whop- Germany 6.7 6.9 ping 75% increase year on year, and almost 50% more 2 Star 61 € 15% 66 € 5% France 4.3 5.8 than the Balearic average. 1 Star 64 € 20% 83 € 28%

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 19 Agenda PQA Show Carly S The Pauline Quirke Academy had a great first term in Ibiza, performing Christmas songs at three fundraising events and helping to raise thousands of euros for vari- ous charities, hosting their first Hollywood Masterclass with actor Ray Stevenson and even starring in a music video. This term looks to be even bigger and better, as PQA Ibiza have announced their first show! It will be an original musical comedy called Far Far Away, adapted by PQA staff from the film Shrek and featuring lots of well known songs and beloved fairy tale and nursery rhyme characters as well as plenty of jokes, adventure and fun! It will be a one night only show at the Palacio de Congresos in Santa Eulalia at the begin- ning of June, and auditions will be held amongst PQA members before Easter. This week all the groups start- ed work on a dance number for the show in their Musi- cal Theatre class and it is already starting to look really Mischief Makers, L to R, Lisa Chadderton, Sarah Main, Tom Grimes, George Blackbeard good. So much talent on this island! You may be reading this and thinking 'My son/daughter would love to be involved in that!' … well, they can be! All they need to do is join PQA. Classes run from 10.00 Winter Mischief – 13.00 on Saturdays at the Palacio De Congresos. The music hit the spot too, with a mixture of Students are divided into three groups based on age and like this place. It'd be a great venue for parties.' feel good house, dirty garage and a smattering they spend an hour in Film and TV classes, learning 'Yeah, I love all the sofas and cosy little nooks.' of old school funk and soul mixes thrown in for how to make, star in, direct, film and produce their own 'You could get up to plenty of mischief in those!' good measure. At the decks were Tom Grimes films, one hour in Comedy and Drama and one hour in 'Hahaha! Yeah, everyone loves a bit of mischief!' and George Blackbeard of G N T - absolutely Musical Theatre where they will be learning the skills 'Hey, that could be the name for your parties!' smashing it with their personal floor filling required to audition for and take part in Far Far Away. “ICarly Sorensen favourites - with lovely ladies Lisa Chadderton If you have a budding performer aged 6-18 who'd like And so, a legend was born. That, more or less, is how (Sankeys) and Sarah Main (Pacha) bringing their ef- to be involved, it isn't too late to join PQA and be in the ・ the islands newest club night was conceived. A few of fortless style and banging tunes to the fiesta. The icing show get in touch with principal Heather Smith us were checking out the spaces at La Muella prior to on the cake was the uber talented Dan Young tapping [email protected] to organise a taster the Winter Wonderland event Love From Ibiza held out primal rhythms and bouncy beats on his percussive session and find out more. before Christmas, when Neil Thorogood and Tom drum kit at side of the stage and bringing a fresh extra Grimes (The N and T of the charismatic 'G N T Produc- dimension to the seamless mixes being laid down by the tions', George Blackbeard being the G) decided that the DJ's as the partygoers lapped it up. Teamwork and club would be a fab venue for winter parties. Having talent of another level. Spanish & been there at the inception of Mischief, I had to drop in Massive congratulations to everyone at G N T Produc- and check out the launch, it would have been rude not tions on a brilliant first instalment of Mischief hands to. were in the air and feet stomping the floor until way Catalan And what a launch it was. Tom was anything but into wee hours – and the after party carried on all of grimy as he played the perfect host, greeting us at the Sunday from what I hear. Mission certainly accom- Spring Enrolment door in his dapper blue suit with smiles, handshakes, plished, mischief makers. If you missed out, worry not, The government’s very low cost Spanish and Catalan classes are enrolling for the Spring term between the 13th and 17th back slaps, hugs and kisses all round when we entered for the boys have already announced the next one on February. Beginners Spanish is offered at most centres. around 10 pm to an already buzzing party. The bar and their Facebook page Intermediate and advanced Spanish, and beginners Catalan https://www.facebook.com/GnTparties/ is available at some locations, along with classes in Pilates, dance floor were rammed with Painting and Drawing, Photography and Photoshop. See shiny, happy people chatting, below for study and enrolment locations. big mahoosive shout out and thank you to everyone that laughing, drinking and danc- came down and made our very 1st MISCHIEF party a huge ing. On an island with certain success, and a very special one to remember. In the words Information and enrollment venues famous for their ex- of everyone....IT WENT OFF!! (…) We can now confirm Sant Antoni: C/ Alacant nº 33 . 18:30 - 21:30h every day ; Tuesday, Thursday 11-13h. pense and snooty exclusivity, that the next party will be on 11th March at La Muella. Sant Josep: Escoles Velles. Ctra. Es Cubells. Dilluns, this party was the antidote. Expect“A skulduggery, jiggery-pokery and mischief in abundance. Let's make this one Wednesday, Thursday 18 - 19:30h. Free entry, a warm welcome even cheekier than the last! More info to follow...” Cala de Bou: Oficines Municipals. C/ Es Caló s/n. and a beautifully inclusive, Monday, Wednesday , 9:30 - 11 h friendly and happy vibe – what winter on the island is For San An, San Jose and Santa Eulalia Tel/Fax: 971 all about. 348 595 - www.cepasantantoni.cat The place looked fantastic too. G N T had put their pro- duction and design skills to great use lighting up the Ibiza town: C/Castella in front of the market Mon- dance floor in gleaming white, highlighting the fuzzy day and Wednesday 11 – 13h, Tuesday and Thurs- day 18 – 20h atmosphere by bedecking the entrance with a big, wel- Santa Eulària -c/Sant Jaume 72, 1st floor Mon, coming 'Love' sign, adorning the walls in custom Wed, Fri 10 - 12h , IES Xarc Tuesday, Wednesday, 'mischief' lights and decorating the tables with glowing Thursday 17 - 18h prisms and spheres in blues and purples. Classy and For Ibiza Town Tel 971305368 www.cepapitiuses.com sassy with a disco flavour. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 20 Agenda Carnival Ibiza Town Claire B Carnival parade This year the carnival takes place on Sunday February 26. Details have not yet been released, but it usually begins about 11.30 am in the port. There will need to be adjustments to the route of the parade this year as the works in Vara de Rey where the parade usually ends are still continuing. Carnival is always a great day out – most of the town’s population comes out to line the streets to watch and many people dress up for the occa- sion. There’s always food available at the end of the parade, so you can make a day of it. Open enrollment to participate in the carnival parade is now open until February 22. All persons, groups and associations who wish to participate must register in advance at the offices of the Ajuntament d'Eivissa: SAC, Carrer de Canàries 35 or Plaça d’Espanya 1 or online at http://eivissa.sedelectronica.es There are several categories: school-related groups, non Cova de Can -profit groups, dance academies, groups of up to 12 people and individuals/couples. In each of the categories the jury will award three prizes: 1st prize is €1,200, Marçà , San 2nd is €750 and 3rd €400. Entierro de la Sardina available in various languages and visitors will get to Wednesday March 1 - on Ash Wednesday the partying enjoy the amazing stalactite and stalagmite formations. closes with the ‘Burial of the sardine’ (Entierro de la . Smugglers first used the cave to store their wares and Miguel sardina), which symbolises the end of Carnival and today it is still possible to distinguish the black and red Rhian Gibbs takes place in the Parque de la Paz from 19.00. Grilled marks that marked the entrance and exit. The highlight The Can Marçà cave is located in the north of the island sardines are served and a large effigy of a sardine will of the tour is the spectacular light and sound show that in the Port of San Miguel, 20 km from Ibiza, 25 km be cremated after a song and dance performance. It’s a accompanies a waterfall. from San Antonio and 23 from Santa Eulalia. Open every day, all year round slightly bizarre but hugely enjoyable event. All free, With incomparable views of the bay, and the islands Summer hours: 10:30 – 20:00, Winter hours: 11:00 including sardines. Murada and Ferradura opposite, the caves are a – 18:00 Once released, the full programme of events will be pub- reminder that Ibiza has a hidden natural beauty. Adults 10.50€, children (4-12) 6.50€ lished here: http://www.eivissa.es The guided tours, which last around 40 minutes, are

portunity to experience live music from acts that don’t usually visit the island. Sueños de Website: www.sdl-ibizafestival.com

Libertad Ibiza Light San Antonio Claire B The full line-up has now been announced for the 3rd Sueños de Libertad (Dreams of Freedom) music festi- Festival Ibiza Town val, which returns to Ibiza again this year from Thurs- Claire B day April 20 to Saturday 22 in San Antonio. On the Thursday night the festival takes place in the Some future dates for the Teatro Regio from 20.00, with Amaral, Zenet and El calendar. After the success Kanka. On the Friday and Saturday the festival moves of the first Ibiza Light Festi- to Arenal beach from 17.30. val in Ibiza Town last Octo- Appearing on Friday 21 are: Leiva, Iván Ferreiro, Si- ber, dates have been set for donie, Corizonas, Los Zigarros and Kitty, Daisy & Lew- it to return this year and is. next year. In 2017 it will The line-up for Saturday is Amparanoia (photo left), be from October 13-14 and Depedro, Fantastic Negrito, Miguel Campello, Statuas in 2018 from October 12- D Sal, Aurora & The Betrayers and Niña Coyote & 13. The festival saw light Chico Tornado. As well as lots of live music, the festival installations in many loca- will combine art, street art, food stalls, a market and a tions in the area around the port and it made for a children’s play area on the beach. great night out. It looks like the festival is going to be- Tickets are now on sale and prices start at €32 (+ come an annual fixture at the end of the tourist season. booking fee) and can be purchased from the website. We will of course be providing details of what will be This was a great event last year and will be a rare op- happening nearer the time as they are released. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 21 Agenda Exploring Ibiza on Foot & Bike Claire B The winter and spring months are perfect for exploring the island, whilst the tourists are away, the pace of life is slower and more relaxed and the island comes alive with almond blossom and wild flowers. There are a number of groups and initiatives that organise guided walks and cycling tours should you not want to go off exploring on your own, plus they’re a great way to meet new and like-minded people.

Walking Ibiza Regular guided walks are currently taking place from Walk- ing Ibiza each Wednesday, Friday and now also on Sunday. Plus this month there are special full moon/almond blossom and Valentine’s day walks. Toby and Sheila have been busy seeking out new walks which are being offered from Febru- ary. Friday 10 –The Occasional Waterfall – 10am - San Miguel. A spectacular waterfall that hasn’t flowed for 12 years. Friday 10 – Almond blossom and full moon walks – Santa Piscines Municipals in Es Viver and Can Misses, and from Can Agnes. Two walks, 3hrs at 8pm and 2 hrs at 9pm. Manolo Bikes. Saturday 11 – Almond blossom and full moon walks – Walking & Cycling from Santa Agnes. Two walks, 3hrs at 8pm and 2 hrs at 9pm. Sunday 12 – Sunday social walk – 11am – The hidden tun- Ibiza Town Walking programme nel – Santa Eulalia. The Sports Department of Eivissa are also organising their 19/02 Botafoc to Roca LLisa. Starts from the car park at Tuesday 14 – Valentines walk – 10am – Cala Salada, with annual walking and cycling program until May. the Estació Marítima Botafoc at 9.30 h. Estació Marítima romantic bubbles and picnic. €30 – reservations are re- Botafoc – Talamanca – S’Estanyol – Roca Llisa. 9 km. Medi- quired. um/difficult. Wednesday 15 – New Short & Sweet walk – 10am – Can Cycling programme 11/03 Parc de Bombers to Can Misses full moon walk. Sulyetas – San Miguel – a new walk with countryside, 12/02 Sant Rafel. Eivissa – Es Fornàs – Sant Rafel – Puig Starts from the Piscina Municipal in Can Misses at 21.00 h. Parc de Bombers – Torrent des Fornàs – Can Canyes – Can almond blossom and great views. Tea and cakes will be d’en Valls – Eivissa. 22 km with a climb of 473 metres. Bufí – Can Misses. 11.5 km. Low/medium difficulty. served at the end. Easy, apart from one climb. 30/04 Torre Sal Rossa to Sa Caleta. Starts from the car Friday 17 – New Classic walk – 10am – Capelleta d’en Ser- 12/03 Sa Capella D’en Serra. Eivissa – Sa Carroca – Torrent park at the Hotel Palladium (Platja d’en Bossa) at 9:30 h. ra – San Josep. A new walk with stunning views to an old de sa Capella – Capella d’en Serra – Sa Carroca – Eivissa. Platja d’en Bossa – Parc Natural Ses Salines – Es Codolar – chapel. 23 km with a climb of 475 metres. Level – medium. Sa Caleta. 8.5 km. Low/medium difficulty. Sunday 19 – Sunday social walk – 11am – Cala St Vicente – 16/04 Peu de sa Talaia. Eivissa – Sa Carroca – Mitja Capella Formentera (in 2 stages) – date to be confirmed. Stage 1: countryside and beach to the cave of Tanit. – Camp de futbol de Sant Josep – Can Jordi – Sa Carroca – Far de la Mola – Es Caló – Punta Prima – Es Pujols. Stage 2: Wednesday 22 – Short & Sweet walk - 10am – Sheila’s big Eivissa. 30 km with a climb of 475 metres. Level – medi- Cala Saona – Estanc des Peix – La Savina. Limited to 50 birthday walk – Dolphin lookout – San Mateu with amaz- um. participants. ing views. Tea and cakes will be served at the end. Formentera (in 2 stages) - date to be confirmed. Stage1: Cost is 3€ in advance or 5€ on the day. Tickets and infor- Friday 24 – New Classic walk – 10am – location to be an- Port de la Savina – Migjorn – Cala Saona – Illetes – Es Pu- mation from: nounced. jols. Stage 2: Es Pujols – La Mola – Port de la Savina. Piscina municipal de Can Misses, Monday to Friday from 9.00 Sunday 26 – Sunday social walk – 11am – Sa Talaia – the They leave from Plaça d’Antoni Albert i Nieto (Bulevard h - 21.00 h. Tel. 971 31 35 64 highest point of Ibiza. d’Abel Matutes at 10.00 h returning about 13.00 h. Cost is 3€ Piscina municipal Es Viver, Monday to Friday from 9.00 h - 21.00 h. and Saturday from 9.00 h - 13.00. Tel. 971 30 32 34 The walks are by donation (suggested €10 per person) or (5€ on the day except for the tour in Formentera). Tours are what you feel the walk is worth. restricted to 100 participants (50 for Formentera) so it’s best to book in advance. Tickets can be bought from the

ble. dy inspired by a true story. It explores the Sunday 19th March After seven years apart the last person Liz beauty and sorrows of friendship and just at 8.30pm (20.30) at Teatro España in Santa Theatre: Never thought she'd see on her doorstep was how much we can, and cannot, do for anoth- Eulalia – Tickets €10 (€12 for the downstairs Sarah. But Sarah has come to talk through er person. seats) the past and seek answers. 'Never The Same' is a dark but joyful female Advance sale tickets at HOLIDAYS in Calle How difficult is it to recapture what is lost? two hander, inspired by a true story, about San Jaime 74 – Santa Eulalia the Same How far would you go to help your best two women from Nottingham, exploring Liz is depressed after having lost her baby. For information: manu@international- friend? the beauty and sorrows of friendship and desk.co.uk Tel: 663 445 862 Her best friend Sarah will do anything she 'Never The Same' is a dark but joyful come- the lengths and limitations of what we can can to help her... and gets into a lot of trou- We sponsor the Santa Eulalia Children’s do for another person. Home Llar Mare del Remei. During ‘Never the Same’, you are invited to piece together the mystery of why two friends find themselves on the run, and About Hatstand whether they can ever find their way back, The company Hatstand Productions is run or if they would even want to. by actresses and writers Lily Lowe-Myers Never The Same is directed by Matt Costain and Robyn Cooper. Best friends since they and performed by Lily Lowe-Myers and were four, growing up in Nottingham, they Robyn Cooper. began playing with a dressing up box, bring- Reviews: ing stories to life...and not much has FOUR STARS from West End Wilma: ‘This is changed since then. a well written play that addresses emotion- As children they made funny films (that they al issues in a sensitive way.’ hope no one ever digs up) and as teenagers “Both Lowe-Myers and Cooper give touch- some better films that won national compe- ing performances in their respective roles’ - titions. Eventually they formed Hatstand London Theatre Productions four years ago in response to the professional work they were making. This is their fourth play since then and they Performances: are currently finishing their third film. Friday 17th March Hatstand Productions was founded with the at 8.30pm (20.30) at Centro Cultural in aims of creating entertaining work that Jesús -Tickets: €10 sheds light on the beauty and complexity of Advance sale tickets at HOLY-SPORT in Av. the human spirit and to create work with Ignacio Wallis 5 – Ibiza. strong, entertaining and complex female roles. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 22 Agenda

streets of the Dalt Vila neighbourhood, the historic part of the town that was declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO in 1999. The audio guide tour lasts about an hour and ten minutes and takes in the following areas: Mercat Vell (the old market), Portal de ses Taules (the main en- trance to Dalt Vila), Plaça de Vila, Santa Llúcia Basti- on, Ibiza City Council, Hospitalet church, Plaça de la Catedral and Sant Bernat Bastion. Audio guide pickup and drop-off point: La Curia: Plaça de la Catedral (the square in front of the cathedral). Dalt Vila. Tourist Information Office: [email protected] Pintxos 2017 San Antonio’s favourite excuse for a bar crawl will be back in 2017 from 9th March to 13th of April. The event offers punters a beer or wine and pintxo for a small cost at any participating bar and restaurant—of which there are many. At time of going to press there are no details of who is in for 2017, but word on the San An street is that it is going to be even bigger this year—but ‘what no bus?’ - tell us it isn’t true. Ensaimada Sound Walk Recipe Ibiza Though traditional recipes may use a sour dough to start the Actress Paz Vega and journalist Concha García Campoy process, this simplified version tastes just as good using a yeast dough. This makes ones large ‘family sized’ ensaimada, have provided the voiceover for Ibiza’s audio guides, the the type you see in the large hexagonal boxes. former in Spanish and English and the latter for the

Catalan version. Ingredients The audio guides are also available in three other lan- For the dough: guages (French, German and Italian). The recordings 500g flour 160g sugar accompany visitors on a self-guided tour through the 180ml lukewarm milk 2 tsp. dried yeast 2 eggs plus 1 egg yolk, at room temperature pinch of salt 200g butter, softened to room temperature For the dusting: 70g icing sugar

Method Put the flour into a large bowl and make a well in the centre. Add the sugar around the side on top of the flour. Add the yeast and lukewarm milk to the well in the centre and mix the centre. Cover for 5 minutes until the yeast has foamed up slightly. Add the eggs, egg yolk and salt. Knead. This is more easily done with a dough hook in your food processor, however can be done by hand, until you get a nice smooth dough (4-5 minutes in the processor). If the dough is too wet, add a little more flour and continue to knead. Cover and leave in a warm place to prove for around 45 minutes to an hour. When ready the dough will have dou- bled in size. Roll out the dough on a floured surface to a square approx. 50x50cm. Spread the soft butter all over the dough in an even layer. Roll up the dough from one side. Roll out the dough to a rectangle of 15x65cm – take it easy here as it is important not to let the butter come through the dough. Roll up again from the longer side so you get one long worm -like roll. Line a baking sheet with baking parchment and place the dough on the parchment in a spiral leaving plenty of room between, so the dough can expand. Cover and let the dough have a second prove for another 1- 2 hours. When the dough is ready it should have joined together in one large disc. Preheat the oven to 175°C. Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden in colour. Take out of the oven and place with the baking parchment on a cooling rack. Finally, dust the ensaimada with the icing sugar. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 23 Agenda Winter Art Ibiza Town Claire B Two exciting exhibitions from internationally renowned artists are currently on in Ibiza Town at Lune Rouge and Art Projects Ibiza. Spherical Space At Lune Rouge, ‘Spherical Space’ by Danish-Icelandic artist Olafur Eliasson is a beautiful large-scale sculptural installa- tion. It’s a circular globe-like structure made from a stainless steel frame, which is covered in triangles of aluminium, hand -blown yellow glass and colour-effect filter glass. Inside is a light bulb, which projects patterns and shadows created by the triangles and framework onto the surrounding space. Perception, movement and the relationship between the viewer and their surroundings are central themes within Eliasson’s work and this piece perfectly captures this. The whole room is filled with reflections from the sphere and the light and the colours of the sphere change as you walk around it and view it from different places. It’s a bit like a giant, colourful discoball and it’s both beautiful and mes- merizing. Some people may remember Eliasson’s work ‘The Weather Project’, a large sun-like installation in The Turbine Hall at Tate Modern in 2003-4, which was equally magnificent. At Art Projects Ibiza, which is in the next door but one build- room in the dark and the central installation is the large ‘Rat ing, the exhibition ‘Is seven a lot?’ features pieces from and Bear (mobile)’ circling from the ceiling (Rat and Bear are Is Seven a Lot? Swiss artists Peter Fischli and David Weiss. You enter the characters that feature in much of the artists’ work). Illumi- nating the wall at the end of the gallery, ‘Question Projec- tions’ projects sentiments such as “Why can’t I be really cheerful. Are feelings private?” or “Should I paint a pirate ship on my car with an armed woman on it holding a decapi- tated head?”. ‘Son et Lumière’, a light and sound installation, epitomizes how the artists use everyday materials to cerate extraordinary effects. Comprised of a plastic cup, gel- covered flashlight and turntable, the sounds reverberate and the lights dazzle and the plastic cup looks like it’s going to fall out, but it doesn’t. The concepts behind these pieces are difficult to explain succinctly, but when you go to the gallery they give you printed sheets that explain everything (in English too). Lune Rouge, the collection built by Cirque de Soleil founder Guy Laliberte, launched these two public exhibition spaces in Ibiza in 2015. The philanthropic mission is to contribute culturally to the island through a pioneering program of exhibitions with both established and emerging artists. It’s a fantastic initiative and providing a welcome opportunity to see some incredible works of art on the island throughout the year. If you haven’t been yet, I thoroughly recommend a visit. Until April 29. Lune Rouge is on Alcalde Bartomeu Rossello, 7, which is just up from Ikea. Art Projects Ibiza is next door but one. Open Tuesday to Saturday from 12.00-18.00. http://artprojectsibiza.com

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 24 Shebizan 10 Valentine's Beauty

Amanda O’Riordan Welcome to a Valentine’s Amanda Zips It Up. For me, February 14th is struggles to be more than a Gifts We Want “hallmark holiday” retail money-spinner. But, stepping out of cynical mode, when I think of Valen- (whether or not there's a date involved) tines Day I dream of Girls, treat yourself with fumes in some of the most underwear. Sexy un- beautiful packaging ever? derwear for me that this year's top V day is. But what about makeup & beauty offer- Sold. sexy underwear for ings. him? Here at Zips It Up, I get it - According to a re- Valentine's Day can either 6. Liz Earle Damask Rose & cent report by be one of the best or Pink Pepper Candle, £40 Madrid-based textile worst days of the year www.lizearle.com company Zeeman, depending on your rela- If you're planning a cosy there isn’t much call for it. tionship status. night in and a hot bath, a The reason is because most feminine, chic candle is a guys show a complete lack of inter- Either way, I think it must. est in their pants (although they’ve been known to show should be a time to treat more interest in what’s inside them). 7. Burberry First Love Following Zeeman’s client testimony, it appears that men yourself and if the other struggle to get shot of their old underwear. 45% of men Cheek Palette, £45 regularly wear worn (that’s filthy to me and you) undergar- half wants to pay, even bet- ter. www.burberry.com ments, even continuing to wear them, if they have holes. This palette had me I’ve found some of 2017's In fact, 29% believe their old underwear is very comforta- swooning at first sight. most romantic Valentine's ble and 17% are in fact very fond of their old Y-fronts. Skid Use as a highlighter and a Day beauty gifts… marks included. blusher for the most gor-

Yuck. geous glow. 1. Bella Freud Loving Can- So, on Feb 14th, one option might be to stick to lingerie for dle Set, £75 women and treat ‘him’ to a pair of socks in his team’s col- 8. Molton Brown Rosa My favourite Bella Freud ours. Absolute Sumptuous candles in a set of minis? Yawn. Bathing Oil, £39 Bring it on. This issue of Zips It Up gets more adventurous than that, www.moltonbrown.co.uk delving into the best Valentine’s gift ideas and places to go. There's nothing like rose on Plus in this instalment, we can be relieved to learn that 2. Estee Lauder Pure Valentine's Day and Molton we’re not the only generation with pornographic minds, as Colour Pure Envy Lip Brown's newest oil for the ancient vibrators have been unearthed, which existed long Potion in Lethal Red, £20 before the Rampant Rabbit. bath is the epitome of luxu- www.boots.com If a liquid formula is more ry. Read Amanda’s fashion blog http://amandazipsitup.com/ your thing, these new Lip Potions are the best of the 9. Too Faced Sweet Peach best. Eyeshadow Palette, £39 And with a name like www.debenhams.com 'Lethal Red,' you're sure to Treat yourself to Too stand out for all the right Faced's latest cult palette which is full of stunning reasons on the most roman- tic day of the year. buttery shades and smells like peaches. I just bought this whilst on holiday in 3. Christian Louboutin Mallorca. At El Court In- Matte Rouge Lipstick, £65 glese. www.selfridges.com Another Valentine's Day 10. Diptyque Rosa Mundi calls for another luxurious, Candle, £48 bold red lipstick. www.selfridges.com I think we've found it. It’s Every year, Diptyque another lethal weapon. brings out a special candle and scent for Valentine's

4. Acqua Di Parma Fruit & Day. You just can’t wrong Flowers candle - Rose with a Diptyque candle. Buds, £95 Victoria Beckham agrees, www.selfridges.com apparently. I’m not sure I’ve ever been more in love with a candle. Hugs & Kisses Y’all. Just look at it. Dreamy. xxx

5. Gucci Bamboo Limited Edition, £68 www.debenhams.com One of my favourite per-

found in a tomb in the Yizheng city of western Jiangsu, listed as 'origin unknown', although it is noted that it China. They were made of bronze dating back to around emanates from the 16th century. Apparently the word's 206 BC - 220 AD, China's Han Dynasty. first appearance in English was The owner of the tomb was identified as a rich and pow- in Thomas Nashe's 1593 poem Ancient erful aristocrat who obviously enjoyed dabbling in some “The Choise of Valentines Or naughty playtime. One of the artefacts has a metal ring the Merie Ballad of Nash His attached to the base, whereas the other has a flat base. Dildo”, which went on to be The pair of items are on show at an upcoming exhibit at abbreviated to the more palat- the Asian Art Museum of San Francisco, 'Tomb Treas- able “Nashe's Dildo”. Erotica ures'. The co-curator of the exhibition comments that Don’t you love a bit of Valen- the two dildos “underscore how connected we really are tine’s trivia in mid Feb? Now I’m no great fan of archaeology. Unearthed arte- to the past, and that we share the same passions across facts can initially be interesting, but the thrill quickly time and culture". fades away if the object in question turns out to be Whilst we know that their use stretches something rather boring like a spoon or a plate. back to the dawn of civilization, the history The same can't really be said for 2,000-year-old sex toys. of the predecessors to love eggs and ram- It’s odd to think that sex toys existed that long ago - I'd pant rabbits is still largely unknown. They assumed they were a modern invention. It's not until you have been present in society throughout pay attention to ancient Greek art that you realise that history, yet there's no evidence as to where people from ancient civilisations were just as sex ob- they originated, or where the word dildo sessed as we are today. comes from. Two ancient pleasure sources from 2,000 years ago were In the Oxford English Dictionary ‘Dildo’ is

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 25

into customers’ underwear draw- ers in time for Valentine’s Day. The German retailer has unveiled a premium lingerie line, featuring Cheap blush pink camisoles, lace-trimmed push-up bras and pretty black briefs. The romantic collection, in stores later this week, starts £3.99, ideal for those looking to spread the Thrills love on a budget. Aldi is selling this pretty pink cami- Get this. Aldi has unveiled a premium linge- sole and shorts set for just £9.99, rie line in time for Valentine’s Day, and their which is my favourite. black lace set is £200 cheaper than Agent A balconette bra that features lace Provocateur’s offering. Yes, really. detailing around the cups is a stand- The German retailer's underwear line starts out piece, alongside the co-ordinating at a purse-friendly £3.99. Chokes... pants. The items retail for £3.99 each. Before you scroll on in disgust, take a mo- The provocative set is strikingly simi- ment to digest this. It may not sound very lar to a two-piece offered by under- luxurious in theory, but the pictures speak wear experts Agent Provocateur that for themselves. costs an eye-watering £220. As a reminder to the snobs amongst us, Aldi Their Stone bra and knickers set is has previously won over savvy shoppers made from sensuous silk sating and with its Wagyu beef burgers, fresh lobster decadent gothic lace. and award winning champagne, as well as The garments are described as “hard- caviar-infused anti-ageing serum. And now edged romance meets bold thrills”. they’re going one step And yes, it is February 14th we’re dis- further, delv- cussing – not April 1st. ing Photos: Top Right: the Agent Provocateur set at £220, Top Left: Aldi’s own at £7.98. Far Left: Aldi Pink Cami- sole and Shorts set £9.99. Left: Aldi Stone Bra & Knickers set. Miss Matching Lingerie director of Agent Provocateur (where Beyoncé got that sports bra with patent straps is a bestseller at Selfridges. It’s bra.) half Barry’s Bootcamp and half Fifty Shades. Mismatched lingerie has blown up. The “perfect mis- So re-organize your underwear drawers girls, by messing match” sets include a leopard print bra with green straps, them all up. sold with fuschia knickers for around £60, at Marks & Spen- cer, where 20 million bras and 60 million pairs of knickers are sold each year. Matching lingerie feels dated in the Instagram age. The notion of a lacy total look, concealed under your clothes, ready be revealed after the curtains are drawn, seems as outdated as matching heels and clutch. Plus, we all wear our bras to be seen now (think Carrie in SATC). Nothing is secret any more. On social media, Beyoncé seems to be the spiritual leader of 21st-century lingerie has become part of a styled look in unex- womankind. Or at least, when she makes an announcement, pected ways: the other day I spotted a pair of fishnet the world seems to listen. tights pulled high at the waistband, so as to be visible Beyoncé made one such announcement last week. You may above jeans. have heard it already. Being pregnant with twins was part of I follow a lot of sportswomen on Instagram, and it’s it, but it is another matter that concerns me. striking how sexy the images are that they post of In an aubergine bra and powder-blue knickers, Beyoncé themselves training. A effectively pronounced the death of matching lingerie. An earth shattering bomb for the lingerie market, just a week before Valentine’s Day. But this wasn’t particularly to do with getting caught with- out matching underwear. It is about a woman, so alpha that she will headline Coachella while six months pregnant with twins, choosing clashing over matching. Aubergine (and pink) with sky-blue is a modern classic, seen repeatedly at Phoebe Philo’s Céline, and a favourite of stars who like to show off their street style. It’s an unusual combi- nation that always looks great, says the crea- tive

Long cardigans and even sleeveless cardigans can complement an outfit, especially if it matches a bag, or shoes for example. Footwear doesn’t have to be limited to flats. Wedge boots, wedge trainers and wedge sandals are easy to walk in. If you Yummy prefer to stick with flats, there are ankle, knee and thigh length boots, and several glam looking pumps out there. Converse pumps especially have many different colours, and some even with a crystal covered sparkle. There is also pretty maternity lingerie, baby dolls, nighties, and Mummies pyjamas. A good website is Mommylicious maternity. Other websites I have come across that sell stunning maternity Sophia V. wear is: Pink blush maternity, Seraphine, After spending some time with my sister this week shopping, happy mama boutique, Topshop since she’s expecting, she’s had trouble finding stylish clothes etc. Don’t only stick to the mater- to wear. Being pregnant doesn’t mean you have to wear nity range; buy bigger sizes in the frumpy, baggy clothes to feel comfortable and attractive. normal women’s wear depart- Leggings are extremely pleasant to wear, and can be paired ments. with many items, such as fitted long jumpers, t-shirt jumpers, Last but not least, a nice fake tan, blouses, off the shoulder tops, shirts, t-shirts, floaty dresses flawless make-up, or glossy hair and more. Long dresses are especially ideal for chilly days. will ensure you still look glamorous If you want to distract from the bump, reveal other parts of and styled. yourself, such as your shoulders, arms, legs etc. Stick with Celebrities in particular that pulled patterns, shapes, and detail across the chest, and plain de- off the pregnancy wear signs for the stomach area. Long coats help. You can even to perfection are Blake have a statement bag, or accessories that capture attention. Lively, Megan Fox, Or maybe you want to embrace your bump, and this can be Kourtney Kardashian, done with the opposite ways: tight fitted clothes, bold cloth- and Chrissy Teigan. ing for the stomach area, stripe patterns etc.

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 26 Health & Wellbeing

leave it to you to see whether your expat experience fits in with their numbers.

Cancer Cases Increase In Spain Figures released this week by the Society of Medical Oncology (SEOM) show that cancer cases have in- creased in Spain, and in most other countries, spurred largely by the fact that people are living longer. In the report by El Pais, there were nearly 248,000 newly diagnosed cases in 2015, representing a rise of almost 15% from 2012. According to the data, one in every two men and one in every three women will have cancer at some point in their lives. The figure also overshoots the SEOM’s own forecast for 2020 by about 1,000 cases. This proportion is already a reality: of the 247,771 cases – according to the best available estimates – diag- nosed cases in 2015, close to 149,000 (representing 60%) were men. There are several causes for this: genetic, biological and behavioural, said the SEOM President, Miguel Martin. Men’s higher consumption of alcohol and tobacco in- Sex In Spain creases their risk factors. “Yet more than half of them will be cured,” added Mar- According to data issued this week 40% of people in quency of sexual activity, the report also studied the tín to illustrate the progress made by the field of cancer Spain have sex once or twice a week, with 24.5% of number of sexual partners of Spaniards. Though 11% of treatment. respondents stating their sexual appetite to be between people report more than 30 sexual partners, the highest The most common types of tumours in Spain are bowel 3 and 5 times weekly. The report issued by Statista percentages are at the lowest end of the scale with 18% cancer (41,000 cases a year), prostate cancer (33,000), says that 7.1% of people have sex daily! replying 2 or 3, 16.8% 4 or 5 and 12.3% stating only 1 lung cancer (28,000), breast cancer (27,000) and blad- In addition sexual partner during their lifetime. der cancer (21,000). to the The report terms the respondents as ‘Spaniards’, Globally, the most common cancers are lung, breast, fre- though does not specifically state whether this would bowel, prostate and stomach. have included any foreigners living in Spain. We will It's Good to Talk Again

Anything you can anyone else what is about how you are similar issues? I would be suggest would be really triggering the hair feeling and what you happy to put people in helpful. pulling and from what need to put in place to touch with each other if Thank you. BK you have written it help you manage some of you would like to form a Dear BK, sounds as if it could be the feelings you are support group together. partly due to the sudden having, maybe if you are You may also find it Thank you for your e shift in work load, but, still forming friendships useful to visit about mail and for bringing a don't underestimate how here and it feels a little www.selfharm.co.uk to start difficult subject matter to the energy changes early to talk about Please keep in touch. and we have lots light. Firstly it is around this time of year something so personal?, Warm regards. Kate. Kate Stillman of deadlines to meet and fantastic to know that as most people on the You could alternatively Dear Kate, clients that need things you have combated this island are gearing up for Skype back to your I used to self harm for in place ASAP, this is for the last 10 years summer and this impacts friends in the UK? My quite some time, I would my first year in Ibiza and successfully that is a many different aspects of feeling is that you cut myself when things I think I underestimated great achievement and daily life here, so some of really need to share became too stressful or I the difference between not one to be the feelings you are your thoughts and was feeling unable to summer and winter, I am underestimated. What is experiencing are not feelings, say the cope with a particular beginning to see some also so good to hear is simply due to increased words out loud to situation. After a lot of warning signs, some of that you are aware of work load though I am someone else rather hard work on myself I the feelings I used to yourself and your sure it does play a then try and process am really pleased to say have, and have on a patterns, you have had significant role. it all internally that I haven’t done it for couple of occasions pulled some feelings and You say this is your first do you think this is over 10 years now and my hair out whilst in the decided to act on them summer here, have you something you can that is something I am shower. I hope by before they become an come alone? It is really do? If not then really proud of. Recently writing to you I am issue which is more important to have a perhaps you work has become quite addressing this before it difficult to turn around. support network with might like to meet pressured, I think starts to get out of hand. You know better then whom you can talk to other people with because the season is

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 27 Community

as: “Transcendent, Transcendent, Transcendent, is the Eternal God of Angels, the whole earth is full of His glory!” Although God is transcendent, that is, beyond this space-time universe, the whole universe, the sera- phim say, is full of his glory. Every moment of every day is pregnant with God. The great poet Gerard Man- ley Hopkins (born 28th July 1844) wrote: “The world is charged with the grandeur of God. It will flame our, like shining from shook foil It gathers to greatness, like the ooze of oil Crushed.” The electrical metaphor – “charged” is interesting. The glory, or the grandeur of God’s appearance in human experience, is something like spiritual static electricity! How does it flame out from the world? It’s like “shining from shook foil”. This image seems to say that the glo- ry flames out from the world like rays of light reflecting off, at all angles, crumpled sheet metal. Yet these scat- tered rays “gather” like the “ooze of oil crushed”. The image is of a container, full of oil, crushed and the oil oozing out. Maybe these words from Gerard Manley Hopkins speak to those of us who may feel crumpled or crushed. A prayer that followers of Jesus sometimes say is:

“Almighty God, whose Son revealed in signs and could see and hear the mysterious species of angels miracles the wonder of your saving presence: re- View From The Pew known as “seraphim”. The ancient Hebrew word new your people with your heavenly grace, and in all our weakness sustain us by your mighty power.” “seraphim” means “fiery-serpents”. Isaiah could hear Glory! the seraphim proclaim: Services on the 1st and 3rd Sundays 10.30am in the Rev. Dr Peter Pimentel church at San Rafael and on the 2nd and 4th Sundays “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Eternal God of Angels, the 10.30am at the Chapel of Lourdes, Carrer Sant Jaume “Glory!” in the Bible refers to the appearance of God in whole earth is full of His glory!” (My translation of the (the main street) Santa Eulalia. human experience. Nearly 2,800 years ago, in the an- Hebrew from The Bible: Isaiah chapter 6 verse 3). The The English-Speaking Church on Ibiza & Formentera. See website for locations & information. Tel 971 cient Near East, the 8th Century BC Jewish prophet word “Holy” translates the ancient Hebrew word pro- 343383 Isaiah had a vision of God’s glory breaking out of the nounced qadosh which means “transcendent” or [email protected] www.ibizachurch.org temple in Jerusalem and filling the whole world. Isaiah “otherness”. So, we could rightly translate the vision Postbag Pedantically Yours pedantically Despite my agreement on - which is exactly what it Thank you for George Hill the importance of gram- is. your letter. property owners to mar and particularly in Thanks for your input You are quite right in flout the regulations— Yours Thanks George, you are retaining our UK Eng- and support. saying that the letter of they are able to pick and Dear Editor/Nick pedantically preaching to lish, I have to concede Regards the law is often not fol- choose from a stock of Have just received the the choir! that you will find numer- Nick lowed in practice. This is potential tenants where breakfast bulletin and Totally agree, however in ous typos in any given one of the conundrums of desperation may get the would like to point out, our defence (or as the edition. The mind is will- life in Spain that many of better of common sense with my usual grammati- online world would try to Lawless ing and I hope capable, us take some time to ad- or fair play. cal precision (ex-Fleet insist, our defense), both but the clock usually pre- Letting just to, if we ever do at I do not think that the Street sub-editor) that of these elements in the vents our ability to proof Dear Editor all. lack of adherence is a the date at the top of the breakfast briefing are copy as we would ideally Reference your article on Although the same differ- reason not to publish the email is given in the US- generated fields by the wish to. the Spanish laws for ence in theory and prac- information. It is still style of “02/05/2017” — 'Mailchimp' software. For my own two pence, I renting. It is a very com- tice apply to a wide range important that people and I detest the hegemo- The fight against Ameri- have no problem with prehensive report howev- of Spanish legislation, it know what the law says ny of American cultural can English in all things American English aside er the reality is that is particularly prevalent as a starting point, to at imperialism even creeping tech is never ending. I from the term American many of the points you in property matters, and least let them know how into our sacred English will have to take a look English, or worse still have given are not fol- that prevalence is exacer- far from the legal line language!! Having our and see whether the date when it is shown as the lowed. For example it bated in the current rent- they are straying. cinemas (“movie thea- can be reformatted. default English and UK says that only one month al market with many Also we must not assume tres”) swamped by their Mind you, even the selec- English has to be set as deposit can be taken. But people struggling to af- that no landlords play shit American film indus- tion of UK English is no an option. I wish they in truth people ask for 2 ford even the legally per- fair. Many do adhere to try output is already guarantee, as I expect would just call it Ameri- or even more months missible terms, let alone the regulations however enough to bear). you found in typing this can, after which they can often. What is the point additional punitive charg- it is inevitable that those Also, the email refers to mail when Google will abuse and corrupt our in having a law, or pub- es. who do not will come to the news report of a fatal have applied its red language to their heart's lishing information on a Of course with demand public attention. There is road accident as appear- squiggle to the word Ibi- content, and leave our law, when nobody follows outstripping supply it has no news in a landlord ing “first on The Ibizan”. zan, not seeming to rec- language alone, not as it in the real world? the effect of making it letting their property fair I believe it should be in ognise it as the accepted UK English, just English (name supplied). easier for unscrupulous and square! The Ibizan. form collective pro-noun. The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 28 Community ... Winter Monthly Issues—FAQ Statue of When is it printed? Guillem de The second Friday of the February 2017 month.Remaining Winter ARIES – The Lovers Schedule Feel in love with life and discover or rediscover your Issue 854 : February 10th passions. You’ll get the most enjoyment by recon- Montgrí Issue 855 : March 10th Nicole Torres Weekly from April necting with others on a heart level. This is not a month to remain disconnected from feelings; en- Where can I buy it? deavour to keep them upbeat. If thoughts head The Plaça d'Espanya, near the down a negative path pause, acknowledge and Dominican Monastery of Dalt Vila, During winter The Ibizan dissolve. You’ll be making life choices that have far should be available on sale reaching consequences. offers spectacular views of the harbour, the district of from all except 5 of Ibiza & Formentera’s newsagents/ TAURUS – Two of Disks Sa Penya, the dam at Botafoc and the little islands on Watch spending this month Scorpio, otherwise quioscos de prensa, and the way to Formentera. The statue in the centre of the other shops, petrol stations you’ll regret that impulse purchase next! This card etc. that sell newspapers. If warns you to be prudent in finances and not fritter mirador represents Guillem de Montgrí, elected they sell the Diario, they it away. There may be an unexpected bill to pay or should have The Ibizan. an expenditure you’d not bargained for. If you archbishop of Tarragona who promoted the conquest of It will take a little time to need a loan you’ll have to bargain hard for it and Ibiza over the Arabs in 1235. Every 8th of August get the supply number you may not like the terms. right to each outlet, we know that in No- GEMINI – The High Priestess commemorates the conquest and the authorities make a vember some sold out within a week, and we also had reports that Trust your intuition this month as you’ll be guided shops said they never had any. to meet people who will make a huge impact on floral offering at this figure. It is a reproduction of the If you don’t see it displayed please ask, and if it is not available/ your life in the months or even years ahead. You're sarcophagus of the tomb, kept in the Cathedral of sold out we really appreciate your letting us know. becoming more resourceful and more independent It is also available at Thomas Green’s supermarket. of what others say or think; you can now stand . alone but without feeling lonely. You can draw Is it online? towards you all you need right now. Yes, we will continue to publish the newspaper online. CANCER – The World Subject to incoming news it may not be possible to publish the full This card indicates tremendous success. You’ve newspaper version online for several days after the printed news- worked hard and gone through the ‘apprenticeship’ paper. You can subscribe to receive the online version as soon as it stage and you’re now about to be the ‘master’ of is released. your world. Everything’s coming together rather nicely and you feel deeply connected to your desti- Where else is the Ibizan distributed in winter? ny so look out for important signs and opportuni- We offer postal subscriptions worldwide (see below) ties. Long distance travel is indicated, which brings We issue some copies to bars and cafés for their patrons whilst on about a trip of a lifetime. the premises. LEO - The Emperor We have arrangements to provide copies to some winter tourism Taking responsibility for ones actions is a sign of hotels and will be issuing free copies on request to residential homes for the elderly. maturity and this month associates and partners will sit up and take notice. They sense a "new" you; How can I subscribe? someone more determined and single minded Via our website at about what they want to achieve. You're laying foundations for a new way of life and will only op- Guillem de Montgri http://theibizan.com/contact- erate on your terms and not someone else's. us/subscribe-ibizan- VIRGO - Six of Pentacles subscriptions/ As much as finances are creating a drain in certain

areas, in others you will be pleased that there is Online subscriptions are free. some financial growth. Money energy is never static so there is no need to feel you are always Postal Subscriptions cost playing catch-up financially. This is particularly true Roman Aqueduct at Ibiza, Spain 2€ this month as an outstanding debt that is owed to U.K., Europe 3€ you is likely to be repaid. Rest of the World 5€ LIBRA – Seven of Swords S’Argamassa You’ve have chosen in the past, and I mean chosen, Why change at all? Nicole Torres to share your gorgeous self with those who not Primarily economics. appreciated your worth. Many have taken up lots of Located very close to S'Argamassa beach, in the Printing a newspaper is expensive. precious commitment and energy and have taken Though there are plenty enough advantage of you. You’re getting better and bet- municipality of Santa Eulalia des Riu, you can find this English speaking residents in Ibiza ter at discernment. Just be careful of doing the historic architectural complex. during the winter to warrant a newspa- same again and don't give up on your dreams. per, there are far fewer advertisers looking to reach them. SCORPIO – Six of Wands It is a declared monument formed by the set of a The newspaper has never made a good commercial argument to Triumphs and breakthroughs are indicated by this print through the winter. Readers may remember that before the card. You can succeed by your sheer determination Byzantine Roman villa, a Punic Roman aqueduct, the change in name it had reduced down to just 8 pages in winter. to see a job done or a project completed. The re- archaeological site and the rural maritime settlement at We are the same as many businesses that earn their livelihood in wards for which are high so don't shirk responsibili- the summer from the boost given by tourism, and though we ties or be tempted to slack off now. Further career S'argamassa. would like to continue to serve the resident market in winter, it opportunities could arise due to your dili- has to be in a commercially viable context. gence. One thing, please remember those who It is a listed as Historical Heritage since 1983 and The economics of print are such that it is far cheaper to print a 32 helped with your success. considered of Cultural Interest since 1998. page newspaper monthly than it is to print the same quantity of SAGITTARIUS – Knight of Cups an 8 page newspaper weekly. A peace offering is graciously accepted as you feel The most famous part of this archaeological site is the This reduction in overheads is also in the context of alternative that it's time to bury a hatchet. Show how honest, aqueduct, dating from the first century BC, ways to serve news online. understanding and caring you are and others will We have not reduced our news output. We have not reduced our approximately. It is approximately 450 linear metres readership. But we have changed it. respond positively by meeting you half way. Ac- knowledging that situations could have been han- that are still standing, at the top of which there is a What else has changed? dled better in the past is a sign of wisdom. Roman- tically for some, this Knight brings a new admirer! channel through which the water flowed. Our digital readership is now more or less equal to our print read- CAPRICORN – The Magician ership. The arcane message of the Magician reminds us to Currently, the aqueduct is practically stuck to the Hotel Many people who enjoy reading a physical newspaper will also use online news services, and they will continue to see our news focus our attention like a laser, on every aspect of S'Argamassa, so the lucky people staying at this hotel our life. By doing so we’re capable of becoming whether we are printing daily, weekly or monthly. can enjoy a part of the history of Ibiza from their Given the immediacy of online news and social media there is little Magicians, able to manifest whatever ‘magic’ we difference publishing a weekly or monthly. In a digital world even want. Some give up on their hopes and aspirations windows. a daily newspaper is out of date by the time it hits the streets. easily by accepting what others or society tells This requires a different approach to printed news. In the majority them is the norm. Believe in your dreams. of situations the newspaper will no longer be the source of break- AQUARIUS – Temperance ing news, as in ‘where you heard it first’. Harmony is the strong message of this card and The newspaper will be a format where a story or article can be- you’ll look for ways of integrating and balancing come more in depth, where it can be fully read comfortably and opposite ideas or feelings this month. Some of you with the aid of always in view visuals etc. will be motivated to be more creative. The Alche- It will also serve as a recap, a summary of recent news, and an mist is associated with this card therefore you want agenda and planner for forthcoming news and events. to experiment and experience alternative ways of What a newspaper cannot do any longer is try to be the source of being and doing. Life falls magically into place. ‘you heard it here first’. PISCES – Ten of Wands This is much like the purpose of a traditional Sunday newspaper Unfamiliar environments beckon, you should broad- and a good way to think of it. I hope that the last and current issue en your horizons and see what’s happening away will reflect at least a move towards that. from your usual patch. Playing it safe is no fun so be adventurous. For some Pisces it could mean Is it worth 1,20€? relocating to another town or country. Also, you We hope so, but that is for you to decide. If you do not think so want to communicate something important to a please tell us. Any comments, suggestions or requests always loved one but you’re unsure of how they might gratefully received.

respond. Don’t rush it. [email protected] The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 29 The Guide ... Transport & Storage

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Telf: 971 348 271 Bes Media Holdings 1999 S.L., Mov: 638 923 119 c/ Jaén, 2, Cala De Bou, theibizan.com San José, 07829, [email protected] Ibiza, Illes Baleares editor: Nicholas Gibbs Dep. Legal DL 1-303-1999 The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 30 Sport

American Football Stunning Super Bowl Come- back For The Patriots Not a sport I'm really ofay with as to me, as a rugby man, it's a bunch of pussies with extra padding and helmets running around like headless chickens, but, nevertheless, it's important to some. Anyway, congrats to the New England Patriots who staged a sensational comeback from 28-3 down to the Atlanta Falcons and for the first time in the NFL's his- tory, force overtime in Super Bowl L1 (that's 51 to you and me!) and then go on to win 34-28. Also congrats to legend Tom Brady who, together with his team, won the SB for the 5th time and was voted the MVP (most valuable player, whatever that means). Brilliant really, as no team has ever come back from just 14 down to win an SB, let alone 25, until now!

Golf Tom Brady Celebrates a Stunning Comeback For The Patriots Garcia Up And Tiger Down! weekend as they pipped Canada 3-2 in the 1st round Good and bad news recently in the golfing world. First- Jezza’s World of and now take on the French who progressed with a 4-1 ly, the good as Spanish superstar Sergio Garcia looks win over Japan. right back on form as he won the Omega Dubai Desert Sport Classic by 3 shots from Ryder Cup colleague and Major winner Henrik Stenson. Cricket I've always had a soft spot for Garcia and great to see Jeremy Parmenter him back in the world's top 10 so hopefully, he can go OMG! Can't quite believe it's a month since I put my India Victorious And Cook on to at last win a Major. As for the bad news, it con- digits to the keyboard for The Ibizan and so much has Resigns cerns Tiger Woods and so sad to see him floundering happened in the sporting world since the beginning of What a disastrous end to England's tour of India as, recently on his much-awaited comeback. A terrible first the year. So, I'd better get on with it then. having lost the Test Series as well as the ODI Series, round in a recent tourney of 7 over saw him struggling

things could get much worse for England's cricketers, to even make the cut so I think the time has come, Tennis but unfortunately it did as they also lost the T20 Series Tiger, to take a long hard look at yourself and maybe, 2-1. Having said that Captain Morgan's boys started just maybe call it a day. Father Time has no time for Australian Open And A Case the T20's brilliantly, winning the first match by 7 wick- has-beens and please don't take the Seve route, ie. em- For The Golden Oldies! ets and then were unlucky to lose the second by only 5 barrassing yourself after such a wonderful career. Well, what a result at the Aussie Open as four of the runs, especially as there were not one but three umpir- greatest tennis players the world has ever seen made it ing howlers, all to India's benefit (and made by an Indi- Football through to the Mens and Womens Finals. an umpire, to boot!). Still, with the score at 1-1, all to As I'm the perfect gentleman (!) I'll start with the ladies play for in the final match and nobody, not even the Blues Lead By Nine Points , and great to see the Williams sisters make it through Indians, expected such a walkover, as England, chasing But Disaster For Liverpool with Serena taking on Venus in the Final. 204 odd to win and handily placed at 123-2, proceeded Unfortunately for Venus, as so oft happened before, to lose 8 wickets for 8 runs that no doubt left the Barmy And Arsenal t'was the younger sibling, Serena, who came through to Army stunned. Startling but that's cricket! In the Premier League, Chelsea continue to lead the win her 23rd Major to overtake Steffi Graf's record. Then, to cap it all, earlier today, and I'm sure not as a table, this time by 9 points, but as they say, “it's not Not a great Final but even so good to see that they both direct result of the Indian Test Series, we woke to the over 'til the fat lady sings” so, despite taking now 4th are still well up there in the pantheon of greats. news that Alastair Cook had resigned as England's Test placed Arsenal 3-1 to the cleaners at the Bridge and As for the men, although it was after my last report so captain. Not a shock really as he had intimated that his nicking a point at Anfield mid-week, nothing is being therefore not in print, I did say to 'er indoors, once both time might be up but good for him that he felt it was taken for granted in West London. Andy Murray and Djokovic were knocked out, that I time, after nearly 5 years at the helm, to pass on the Mind you, the following pack, apart from Tottenham, had a sneaking feeling that we could be in for a Roger baton to a younger person, probably Joe Root. are shooting themselves in the foot against so-called Federer /Rafa Nadal Final and, to my delight, that was After a record of 2 Ashes wins, and more pertinently, a the case. Test Series win in India, the last captain of any country Not a classic as in previous Major Finals between these to do that, and another in South Africa, he wasn't a two but well worth watching, especially the final set great skipper but he most certainly was a good one but when, with Rafa 2-0 up it looked as if the Fed's 35 more importantly he always had the respect of his team- years had caught up with him. But champions are made mates (apart from one, a certain KP who, let's face it, of sterner stuff and the Swiss maestro, from some- has always been a legend in his own mind!), his boss, where, dragged up the stamina, determination and fi- his manager and the cricketing public in general. nesse to take that set 6-3 and to claim his 18th Major, a Having said all that, great to see that he intends to car- feat that this time last year, most people thought would ry on playing for England, which will be a big bonus for never happen again. Brilliant as well to see Rafa getting his successor, and, no doubt, he will go on to achieve, as back to his very best and just goes to show, there's life England's highest runscorer already, even more runs for in the old dogs yet! his country. So, good luck to him. Footnote: Great to see Andy-less Great Britain get off to a winning start as holders of the Davis Cup over the The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 31 Sport

West Bromwich in 8th are well placed and good to see West Ham, after the Payet debacle, pulling their socks up in 9th. On to La Liga and although' Barca are only a point be- hind Real Madrid after their 3-0 roasting of , Zidane's team do have 2 games in hand so could be 7 points clear, whilst Sevilla (Formentera's conquerors in the Copa del Rey!) are 3rd, but only 2 points behind Barca and 4 ahead of Atletico Madrid in 4th.

They think it’s all over … Finally, oh dear, oh dear! The only other sportsman that I know of who thinks he's a legend in his own mind, dear old Goldenballs himself, “Sir” David Beckham, has come a right cropper in the press recently. For those of you who don't know, he's had a load of e- mails to not only his PR guys but also to the Honours Committee, leaked to the public, revealing that (a) he's really peed off that he didn't get a knighthood as he feels he deserves one because of his charity work (?) and (b) that he was turned down because of his tax affairs, Sisters, Serena won her 23rd Major v sister Venus in the Australian open which, to say the least are not, according to HMRC “quite in order”. lesser opposition. At the bottom, it's getting interesting as only 2 points Who the hell does this guy think he is and doesn't he Liverpool, now 5th, have had an awful January with separate the bottom 6. With Sunderland still at the foot, realise that you can't just buy an honour, or can you? only 1 win from 8 matches. despite a resounding 4-0 win at Palace, in 19th, but And, let's face it, on the field, apart from having a won- Meanwhile Arsenal lost as well, midweek at home to both Swansea' and Hull seem to be getting their act derful left foot he didn't have much else. Never in my Watford. 2nd placed Tottenham appear to be the most together with recent wins against top-half opposition. mind a great footballer, just a mediocre specimen who likely challengers although' even they struggled at home Worst fall from grace has been champions Leicester happened to be in a great Man United team and the to Middlesboro', winning with a penalty, and could only who could become the first champions to be relegated right places at the right times! Oh, how the mighty have draw 0-0 at Sunderland recently. the following season. Their season seems, at least in the fallen! Love it!!! The Manchester duo are still there or thereabouts as 3rd PL, to be going from bad to worse, as they are now only

placed City seem to have found a new Messiah, namely 2 points off the bottom. Jesus, in the January transfer window, who seems to be Elsewhere, Everton seem to have sparked in to life and It is now … scoring for fun. United, in 6th, appear to have put them- now lie in 7th, after a stunning 6-3 win at Goodison On that note, 'tis all for now, until March, Jezza

selves in the mix for the Champions League places, now over Bournemouth led by a superb double brace from Read Jezza’s 6 Nations report on the back page being only 2 points behind Arsenal. Lukaku.

Jack Wharrie climbing up to 4th and 5th in the table Greetings pool fans, it's that time again respectively. where we look back at another month Finally, it’s deja-vu at the bottom of the filled with twists and turns as we sit on table as none of the teams in the bottom the cusp of the business end of the season. four have changed places with each other Our top teams, The Ship, Illusions and since the last report. Boulevard Spaniards have further solidi- Whilst the ladies of Flaherty's are still fied their top tier status as they have not searching for their first win, both the lost a game between them this month Storeroom Knights and Stevie D's 'A' (barring the clash between the Spaniards Team impressed against top opposition and The Ship). managing to take a point each from the With The Ship holding a six-point lead at reigning champions the Boulevard Span- the time of writing they'll be feeling confi- iards. dent of holding their lead till the end, Illu- Coming up, The Ship will be looking for sions, however, will have hopes of taking current in form teams The Social and the crown in their debut season as they Storeroom E-Leats to help their chances hold two games in hand over the current as Illusions face them both over the next leaders. couple of weeks. The mid-table has changed a fair bit, Meanwhile the Ship have the easier on Maxims, after a stellar start to the season, paper fixture facing teams in the bottom will have been disappointed with January, half of the table for the next 3 games, but taking 4 points of the available 16. then we all know what good ‘on paper’ The Social and the Storeroom E-Leats, on can turn out to be. the other hand, have to be happy after

The Ibizan, Issue 854, February 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 32 Sport

Owen Farrell scores a penalty for England

of the Match performance from Lions fullback-in- waiting Stuart Hogg. So, Wales lead the table on points difference from Scot- land and England with Wales/England, Italy/Ireland and France/Scotland this weekend and the question is, which is going to be the first team to score a bonus point for 4 tries or more under the new 6 Nations rules?

See Jerry’s full world of sport column inside

RBS Six Nations Fixtures All times are local Spanish

Saturday 11th February 2017 Stuart Hogg gets Scotland off to a flying start v Ireland at Murrayfield Italy v Ireland at Stadio Olimpico, Rome 3:25pm Wales v England at Principality Stadium, Cardiff 5:50pm Sunday 12th February 2017 Scotland Hogg The Headlines France v Scotland at Stade de France, Paris 4:00pm Saturday 25th February 2017 Scotland v Wales at BT Murrayfield Stadium, @ 6 Nations Opening Weekend 3:25pm Ireland v France at Aviva Stadium, Dublin 5:50pm Sunday 26th February 2017 Rugby Union They scraped through 19-16 against a revitalised and England v Italy at Twickenham Stadium, London 4:00pm Man of the match performance by Scotland’s massive France at Twickenham. Friday 10th March 2017 Stuart Hogg leads them to victory over Ireland Possibly the worst performance of Eddie Jones' tenure, Wales v Ireland at Principality Stadium, Cardiff 9:05pm at Murrayfield. but, hey, a win's a win however ugly (ask Arsenal!). If Wales win in Italy, and England beat France — Saturday 11th March 2017 they are to stand a chance of beating Wales in Cardiff just! Italy v France at Stadio Olimpico, Rome 2:30pm this weekend, the Red Rose boys are going to have to Jerry Parmenter show a mighty level of improvement. England v Scotland at Twickenham Stadium, London The 6 Nations got off to a rousing start at the weekend 5:00pm As for the Welsh, well, they didn't get off to an auspi- with England securing their 15th win on the trot, but Saturday 18th March 2017 cious start as they struggled against Italy in Rome, be- only just! Scotland v Italy at BT Murrayfield Stadium, Edinburgh ing 7-3 down at the break, but came back to win 33-7. 1:30pm

Best of the weekend had to go to Scotland who took on France v Wales at Stade de France, Paris 3:45pm the rampant Irish at Murrayfield and to the leprechaun's Ireland v England at Aviva Stadium, Dublin 6:00pm a bit of a shock as they went down 27-22, led by a Man