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Open Research Online The Open University’s repository of research publications and other research outputs Sex And Gender Roles In Gentle And Noble Families, c.1575-1660, With A Particular Focus On Marriage Formation Thesis How to cite: Gosling, Sally Catherine (2000). Sex And Gender Roles In Gentle And Noble Families, c.1575-1660, With A Particular Focus On Marriage Formation. PhD thesis The Open University. For guidance on citations see FAQs. c 2000 The Author Version: Version of Record Link(s) to article on publisher’s website: http://dx.doi.org/doi:10.21954/ou.ro.00004984 Copyright and Moral Rights for the articles on this site are retained by the individual authors and/or other copyright owners. For more information on Open Research Online’s data policy on reuse of materials please consult the policies page. oro.open.ac.uk SaIIy Catherine Gosling BA Sex and Gender Roles in Gentle and Noble FamiIies, c.1575-1660, with a particular focus on marriage formation Submitted for Doctor of Philosophy in the discipline of history, 28th October 1999 P EX12 RESEARCH DEGREES CENTRE LIBRARY AUTHORISATION FORM Please return this form to the The Research Degrees Centre with the two bound copies of your thesis to be deposited with the University Library. All students should complete Part 1. Part 2 only applies to PhD students. Degree: f/,O Part 1 Open University Library Authorisation [to be completed by all students] I confirm that I am willing for my thesis to be made available to readers by the Open University Library, and that it may be photocopied, subject to the discretion of the Librarian. 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C willing for the Open University to loan the British Library a copy of my thesis. A signed Agreement Form is attached. [b] 3 I do not wish the Open University to loan the British Library a copy of my thesis. Signed: Date: &%/&L/caoo I Sex and Gender Roles in Gentle and Noble Families, c.1575-1660, ,' with a particular focus on marriage formation Sally Gosling Abstract The thesis examines thinking about, and experiences of, gender roles and family relationships for the gentry and nobility, particularly through the process of marriage formation. The study draws on a range of sources, including collections of family letters, personal memoirs and prescriptive literature. Some chapters pursue a case study approach to correspondence. Others consider the relationship between published advice and personal attitudes and experience. The study explores whether there were contradictions in thinking on family life, gender, love and marriage, as some historians have claimed, and seeks to disentangle the overlaps and inter-relationships between these broad themes. While family and gender roles were multi-layered and multi-faceted, thinking and practice were neither incoherent nor conflicting. Rather, they were highly complex and treated as such. How marriages were forged and male and female roles in this process and in marriage itself required the balancing of many factors. Prescription recognised this and practice reinforced the need for pragmatism. Moreover, advice was not monolithic, but nuanced according to its purpose and intended audience. Gender roles, family relationships and marriage were varied and manifold within both the realms of rhetoric and experience. There was a strong elision of gender roles, affording women significant scope for decision-making. Family relationships were fluid, underpinned by a heavy dependence on, respect for, and emotional investment in, the extended family. Marriage formation was informed by recognition of the importance of a moral, disciplined love for sustaining marriages and families. The thesis highlights the intricacies of relatively new (although increasingly well- researched) areas of study for historians. It seeks to undermine a simplistic division between prescription and practice, and between advisers and the advised, and to raise the importance of considering men within the family and facets of female authority. \ Preface and acknowledgements I should like to thank my supervisor, Professor Rosemary ,O’Day, for all her guidance and support. I am also grateful to my examiners, Professor Joan Thirsk and Dr. Ole Grell, for their comments on my thesis and for their suggestions as to questions and theines I might address in future work. Throughout the thesis, original spellirmgs have been retained where this does not obscure the meaning of quotations. Con tents Page No. List of genealogical tables 3 Abbreviations 4 Introduction 5 Historiographical building blocks Building blocks for studying funiilies und inurriuge 9 Chapter One Appraising the sources 14 Chapter Two Families and marriage: reconsidering paradigms 33 Setting the scene 52 Sex and gender within families: Identities and roles Identities und roles 53 Chapter Three Gentle males? The identity of the early-modern English gentleman 58 Chapter Four Inverted roles: female patriarchs? 73 Chapter Five Gendering individuals: preparing the young for adulthood 92 Siiizilur but different.. I12 Decision-making and decision-makers: Two case-study approaches to marriage formation Questions of inference 115 Chapter Six The Barrington and Aston families 119 Chapter Seven Three letters 143 Key inferences 179 Rhetoric and emotion Deciphering rhetoric und emotion 180 Chapter Eight Prescribed marriage formation and marriage 182 Chapter Nine Rhetorical love: views on conjugal love within advisory literature 209 Chapter Ten Personal perceptions, attitudes and experience: lnve within marriage formation and marriage 220 Cn???.???n??!?!5ll??P???_r 246 Conclusions 249 Bibliography 254 2 List of genealogical tables Barrington family p. 141 Aston family p. 142 3 Ab brevia tions Add.MS Additional manuscript BL British Library Edn Edition ERO Essex Record Office HMC Historical Manuscripts Commission MS Manuscript Trans Translated by 4 Introduction Several apparent contradictions appear in early-modern English thinking on gender roles and family relationships. These concern the responsibilities of men and women, affection and power, and how marriages should be forged. The marital conduct books placed a strong emphasis on patriarchy (in its broad sense, male domination of women and children, both within the family and in wider society; in a narrower sense, the economic and legal control held by a male head over his household).' They rehearsed detailed scripturally-based arguments to j ustifL women's subordination to their husbands and the ramifications of this relationship for the proper ordering and functioning of households. But the treatises also stressed the importance of mutual affection and companionship within marriage and women's assuming an active role in household concerns. Meanwhile, advice on commerce urged that women should have the skills to perform responsible roles in a broader range of areas. Personal documents, including letters, diaries and autobiographies, reveal that women of the gentry and nobility could - and did' - wield considerable and unchallenged authority within, and on behalf of, their families. This took them well beyond the domestic sphere in which the marital conduct books sought to entrap them and gave them scope to make decisions that had major, long-term implications for their families. Negotiating and sanctioning marriages, a prime focus of this thesis, was much more than a domestic matter. It had far-reaching consequences for all concerned, linking one family with another, forming one of the most significant types of financial transaction that a family could make, and impacting on families' future prosperity and security. Moreover, the family was seen to play a major role in stabilising society. That women could exercise authority without being seen to subvert the natural order suggests that patriarchy was not as tight or absolute as might be assumed. 1 G. Lerner The Crearim ofPatriarchy (Oxford 1986) p.239; H. Barker & E. Chalus (eds.) Gender ill Eighteerifh-ceritilryy Eiiglam! Roles, Representations arid Responsibilities (Harlow 1997) Q.1 5 5 Nonetheless, the marital conduct books asserted sex as the most fundamental division in human society. But treatises that advised on gentle conduct for men and women showed far less interest in sex and gender as divisional categories and a much stronger keenness to preserve and demonstrate nuances of social status. From them, the impression is gained that men and women of the same social standing were not perceived as so different from one another. Instead, they shared significantly overlapping responsibilities and were expected to display broadly similar attributes. This highlights the need for