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The Strength of Self-Acceptance The Strength of Self-Acceptance Michael E. Bernard Editor The Strength of Self-Acceptance Theory, Practice and Research Editor Michael E. Bernard Melbourne Graduate School of Education University of Melbourne Melbourne, Australia ISBN 978-1-4614-6805-9 ISBN 978-1-4614-6806-6 (eBook) DOI 10.1007/978-1-4614-6806-6 Springer New York Heidelberg Dordrecht London Library of Congress Control Number: 2013936250 © Springer Science+Business Media, LLC 2013 This work is subject to copyright. All rights are reserved by the Publisher, whether the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifi cally the rights of translation, reprinting, reuse of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfi lms or in any other physical way, and transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed. Exempted from this legal reservation are brief excerpts in connection with reviews or scholarly analysis or material supplied specifi cally for the purpose of being entered and executed on a computer system, for exclusive use by the purchaser of the work. Duplication of this publication or parts thereof is permitted only under the provisions of the Copyright Law of the Publisher's location, in its current version, and permission for use must always be obtained from Springer. Permissions for use may be obtained through RightsLink at the Copyright Clearance Center. Violations are liable to prosecution under the respective Copyright Law. The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc. in this publication does not imply, even in the absence of a specifi c statement, that such names are exempt from the relevant protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use. While the advice and information in this book are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication, neither the authors nor the editors nor the publisher can accept any legal responsibility for any errors or omissions that may be made. The publisher makes no warranty, express or implied, with respect to the material contained herein. Printed on acid-free paper Springer is part of Springer Science+Business Media (www.springer.com) Albert Ellis, for his theory and professional practice spanning more than 50 years that has inspired so many people across the world to conquer self-depreciation (as much as humanely possible) and through self-acceptance to live less fearful and more self-actualized, fulfi lled lives. Christopher Peterson, for his seminal work in identifying universal positive human characteristics that contributes to well-being and for his recent support for self-acceptance as a character strength contributing to happiness and fl ourishing. The Strength of Self-Acceptance As [Jesus] went out into the street, a man came running up, greeted him with great reverence, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?” Jesus said, “Why are you calling me good? No one is good , only God.” (Mark 10:17,18) The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. (C.G. Jung) At 30 a man should know himself like the palm of his hand, know the exact number of his defects and qualities, know how far he can go, foretell his failures—be what he is. And, above all, accept these things. (Albert Camus) My defi nition of success is total self acceptance. We can obtain all of the material possessions we desire quite easily, however, attempting to change our deepest thoughts and learning to love ourselves is a monumental challenge. (Victor Frankl) It’s not worth our while to let our imperfections disturb us always. (Henry David Thoreau) Our healthy individuals fi nd it possible to accept themselves and their own nature without chagrin or complaint or, for that matter, even without thinking about the matter very much. (Abraham Maslow) When the individual perceives himself in such a way that no experience can be discriminated as more or less worthy of positive regard than any other, then he is experiencing unconditional positive self-regard. (Carl Rogers) I do not have intrinsic worth or worthlessness, but merely aliveness. I’d better rate my traits and acts, but not my totality or ‘self.’ I fully accept myself, in the sense that I know I have aliveness and I choose to survive and live as happily as possible, and with minimum needless pain. I require only this knowledge and this choice—and no other kind of self-rating. (Albert Ellis) We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. (Dalai Lama XIV) Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. When you accept yourself, the whole world accepts you. (Lao Tsu) vii Contents Part I Theory and Research Humanistic Psychology and Self-Acceptance .............................................. 3 Louis Hoffman, Abraham J. Lopez, and Michael Moats Self-Acceptance in Buddhism and Psychotherapy...................................... 19 Daniel David, Steven Jay Lynn, and Lama Surya Das Self-Acceptance and Christian Theology ..................................................... 39 Stevan Lars Nielsen, Aurora Szentagotai, Oana A. Gavita, and Viorel Lupu The Value of a Human Being ........................................................................ 65 Albert Ellis (deceased) Psychologically Flexible Self-Acceptance .................................................... 73 Tami Jeffcoat and Steven C. Hayes Unconditional Positive Self-Regard .............................................................. 93 Tom G. Patterson and Stephen Joseph Unconditional Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion ................................ 107 Windy Dryden Self-Acceptance and Happiness .................................................................... 121 Aurora Szentagotai and Daniel David Measuring and Characterizing Unconditional Self-Acceptance ............... 139 Martha J. Falkenstein and David A.F. Haaga Part II Practice Self-Acceptance in the Education and Counseling of Young People ......... 155 Michael E. Bernard, Ann Vernon, Mark Terjesen, and Robyn Kurasaki ix x Contents Self-Acceptance and the Parenting of Children .......................................... 193 Oana Alexandra Gavita, Raymond DiGiuseppe, and Daniel David Self-Acceptance and Successful Relationships ............................................ 215 Michael S. Broder Self-Acceptance in Women ............................................................................ 229 Monica O’Kelly Self-Acceptance and Chronic Illness ............................................................ 247 Jennifer A. Gregg Self-Acceptance and Aging: Using Self-Acceptance as a Mediator of Change in CBT with Older People .................................. 263 Ken Laidlaw Index ................................................................................................................ 281 Contributors Michael E. Bernard Melbourne Graduate School of Education , University of Melbourne , Melbourne , Australia Michael S. Broder International Institute for the Advanced Studies of Psycho- therapy and Applied Mental Health , Media Psychology Associates , Philadelphia , PA , USA Lama Surya Das Dzogchen Meditation Center of America , Los Angeles , CA , USA Daniel David Department of Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy , Babeş-Bolyai University , Cluj-Napoca , Romania Department of Oncological Sciences , Mount Sinai School of Medicine , New York , USA Raymond DiGiuseppe Department of Psychology , St. John’s University , New York , NY , USA Windy Dryden STaCS , Goldsmiths University of London , London , UK Albert Ellis (deceased) Albert Ellis Institute , New York , NY , USA Martha J. Falkenstein Department of Psychology , American University , Washington , DC , USA Oana A. Gavita Department of Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy , Babeş-Bolyai University , Cluj-Napoca , Romania Jennifer A. Gregg Department of Psychology , San José State University , San Jose , CA , USA David A. F. Haaga Department of Psychology , American University , Washington , DC , USA S t e v e n C . H a y e s Department of Psychology , University of Nevada , Reno , NV , USA xi xii Contributors Louis Hoffman School of Psychology and Interdisciplinary Inquiry (Existential, Humanistic, and Transpersonal Psychology) , Saybrook University , San Francisco , CA , USA Tami Jeffcoat Department of Psychology , University of Nevada , Reno , NV , USA Stephen Joseph School of Sociology and Social Policy, University of Nottingham , United Kingdom Robyn Kurasaki Department of Psychology , St. John’s University , New York , NY , USA Ken Laidlaw Clinical Psychology , University of Edinburgh , Edinburgh , UK Abraham J. Lopez School of Clinical Psychology, Saybrook University, San Francisco , CA , USA Viorel Lupu Iuliu Hatieganu University of Medicine and Pharmacy , Cluj-Napoca , Romania Steven Jay Lynn Department of Psychology , Binghamton University , Binghamton , NY , USA Michael Moats Zhi Mian International Institute of Existential-Humanistic Psychology , Monument , CO , USA Stevan Lars Nielsen Counseling and Psychological Services , Brigham Young University , Provo , UT , USA Monica O’Kelly School of Psychology and Psychiatry , Monash University , Clayton , VIC , Australia Tom G. Patterson Department of Psychology and Behavioural Sciences , Coventry University , Coventry , United Kingdom Aurora Szentagotai Department of Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy
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