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SOS! Help for Parents DOCUMENT RESUME ED 384 414 PS 023 130 AUTHOR Clark, Lynn TITLE SOS1 Help for Parents: A Practical Guide for Handling Common Everyday Behavior Problems [With Video Leader's Guide]. REPORT NO ISBN-0-9351: -16-6; ISBN-0-935111-44-1 PUB DATE 91 NOTE 298p. AVAILABLE FROMParents Press, P.O. Box 2180, Bowling Green, KY 42102-2180 (Book, $9.95, plus $1.50 shipping; "How To Use Time-Out Effectively" 67-minute audiotape, $9.50, plus $1.50 shipping; 65-minute VHS videotape, video leader's guide, parent handouts, and book, $150). Audiotape and videotape components of this multimedia package are available only from the publisher. PUB TYPE Guides - Non-Classroom Use (055) Books (010) Audiovisual/Non-Print Materials EARS PRICE tiF01/PC12 Plus Postage. DESCRIPTORS *Behavior Change; Behavior Modification; *Behavior Problems; *Change Strategies; Child Behavior; Child Rearing; *Contingency Management; *Discipline; Negative Reinforcement; Parent Child Relationship; Parent Education; Parenting Skills; Parent Materials; Positive Reinforcement; Praise; Punishment; Rewards; *Timeout; Young Children IDENTIFIERS Disciplinary Styles ABSTRACT This book provides parents with guidance for handling a variety of common behavior problems based on the behavioral approach to child rearing and discipline. This approach suggests that good and bad behavior are both learned and can be changed, and proposes specific methods, skills, procedures, and strategies for parents to use in getting improved behavior from their children. The guide is divided ir.to four sections. Section one presents some fundamentals of child behavior and effective discipline. Some of the causes of children's misbehavior are examined as well as ways of increasing good behavior and eliminating bad ones. Section two provides advice for implementing the "time-out" method. Section three gives suggestions on how to: manage bad behavior away from home; use points, tokens, and contracts; use time-out on two children; use time-out on a toy instead of the child; handle aggressive and dangerous behavior; and hr children express feelings. Section four suggests some additional rt...ources for helping children. Each chapter includes a review of the most important ideas and instructions presented. The book's two appendices include an index of problem behaviors, quizzes and answers for parents, more resources for professionals, and tear-out sheets for parent and teachers. Seventy-eight references are included. Appended to the book are materials for a video-discussion parent education program. The accompanying videotape demonstrates child-rearing rules, and errors to avoid, as well as other child management methods. A printed "Video Leader's Guide" for the training leaders provides objectives, suggested outlines for workshops, and guidelines for discussing the behavior vignettes in the video. Workshop evaluation forms and handouts are appended. A parent audio cassette on how to use "time-out" effectively is also part of this multimedia package. U S DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION Off a of Educational Research end Irepferremeri EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES INFORMATION CENTER (ERIC) 71/44hceis document has been reproduced as reed from the person 01 organizahon ongulelnag it Minor changes have been made to improve reproduction quality S I Points of mew or opinions staled Sr this document do not necessarily represent Jr official OERI position or policy t E T 1 a - (1 JOHN ROBE CeZ rai MD CeZv o0 N aW .11P O A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR HANDLING COMMON EVERYDAY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS t 2 als LYNN CLARK, Ph.D. SOS! Help For Parents Lynn Clark, Ph.D. Illustrations by John Robb Parents Press Post Office Box 2180 Bowling Green, Ky. 42102-2180, U.S.A. 3 SOS! Help For Parents Copyright © 1985 by Lynn Clark All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic, mechanical, photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author or publisher, except for brief quotations in a review. Textbook writers who are interested in an illustration or section from this book are encouraged to contact the author. Library of Congress Cataloging-In-Publication Data Clark, Lynn, date. SOS! : help for parents. Bibliography: p. Includes index. 1. Children- -Discipline. 2. Child rearing. 3. Timeout method. I. Title. HQ770.4.C521985 649'.64 85-16950 ISBN 0. 935111-16-6 Printed in the Unitod States of America Published by: Parents Press Post Office Box 2180 Bowling Green, Ky. 42102-2180 20 19 18 17 16 15 4 Publisher's Note WARNING This book is designed to provide information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher and author are not engaged in rendering psychological, medical, or other professional services. Rearing children Is sometime: very difficult. If expert assistance is needed, seek the services of a competent professional. Chapter 22 describes how to obtain professional help. HI r DEDICATION To children and those who rear them ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I am especially indebted to Gerald Patterson, Rex Forehand, and their colleagues for much of this book's research and clinical foundations. Donald Baer introduced me to behavioral child manage- ment research when I was a graduate student at The University of Kansas. B.F. Skinner, for more than a half-century, has contributed fundamental research on human behavior and also kindly gave his permission to use the cartoon illustration in Chapter 22. Gerald Patterson at the Oregon Social Learning Center and Mark Roberts at Idaho State University reviewed the manuscript. Their comments and recommendations improved the usefulness of SOS! Carole Clark critiqued each of the many manuscript drafts and contributed true examples of problem behaviors and parent-child in- teractions. Mary Ann Kearny and Virginia Lezhnev made suggestions regarding writing style and provided encouragement. Individuals at Western Kentucky University who contributed to SOS! include Patrice Nolan, Lois Layne, Clinton Layne, Harry Robe, William Pfohi, Elsie Dotson, Ned Kearny, Fred Stickle, Livingston Alex- ander, Carl Martray, Delbert Hayden, and James Warwick. Many graduate and undergraduate students also contributed useful com- ments regarding the manuscript. Copyreading was done by Beverly Cravens. Janet Allen and Rhonda Kessinger helped type the manuscript revisions. Bettye Neblett offered valuable suggestions regarding SOS! and provided swift, expert typing. 6 Iv CONTENTS Introduction 1 Section One FUNDAMENTALS OF CHILD BEHAVIOR AND EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE 1 Why Kids Behave And Misbehave 5 Three child rearing rules Rewards children like The strong-willed child Four common child rearing errors 2Clear Communication Promotes Effective Parenting 15 Parents must agree on goals Communication between parent and child Giving effective commands Children need discipline and love Reasons parents don't discipline 3 Ways Of Increasing Good Behavior 23 Encourage and reward good behavior Use active ignoring Reward alternative behavior Help your child practice good behavior Use Grandma's Rule Set a good example Be an organized parent 4 What Is Time-Out? When Do Parents Use It? 31 What is time-out? Time-out from your child's view Which behaviors deserve time-out? Selecting a target behavior t`i vi SOS! Help For Parents 5Major Methods For Stopping Bad Behavior.. ..41 Effective but mild punishment de a rational and nonaggressive model Scolding and disapproval Natural consequences Logical consequences Behavior penalty (response cost) Methods of discipline compared Section Two BASIC SKILLS OF THE TIME-OUT METHOD 6Getting Started With Time-Out 57 7Picking A Boring Place For Time-Out 63 8Explaining Time-Out To Your Child 71 9Quickly Getting Your Child To Time-Out 75 10The Timer And Waiting In Time-Out 81 11 Talking With Your ChildAfter Time-Out 87 12Common Mistakes Parents Make With Time-Out 91 Section Three FURTHER APPLICATIONS OF YOUR PARENTING SKILLS 13Managing Bad Behavior Away From Home.. ..97 Homes of friends and relatives Stores, shopping malls, and restaurants In the car Outdoor play activities 14Using Points, Tokens, And Contracts 105 Offering point-rewards Giving token rewards Writing parent-child contracts 15Timing-Out Two Children 117 Reducing conflict between children When and how to use time-out for two 8 SOS! Help For Parents vii 16Timing-Out A Toy Instead Of The Child 121 Timing-out toys and stopping misbehavior Steps for timing-out toys More ideas for parents 17Handling Aggressive And Dangerous Behavior 127 Managing aggressive and dangerous behavior More help for the aggressive child 18Helping Your Child Express Feelings 135 Basic skills of reflective listening Reflective listening and problems parents face 19More Problem BehaviorsQuestions And Solutions 141 Hyperactivity Helping with chores Bedwetting Racing the timer Learning disability Grounding Getting to bed The resting chair Section Four MORE RESOURCES FOR HELPING YOUR CHILD 20Teachers And Parents As Partners 149 Working with your child's teacher Teachers managing behavior 21 Useful Classes And Books For Parents 159 Joining parent education classes Forming parent study groups Other books written for parents 22 When And How To Get Professional Help....163 APPENDICES FOR PARENTS A Index Of Problem Behaviors With Appropriate Management Methods 171 BIf Your Child Rebels Against Time-Out 181 The two- to four-year-old The five- to twelve-year-old 9 SOS! Help For Parents C Helping The Noncompliant Child To Mind A New Program For Children Three To Seven 191 D Quizzes And Answers For Parents 195 APPENDICES FOR PROFESSIONALS E Professionals Using SOSI 207 FMore Parent Education And Parent Counseling Resources For Professionals 211 REFERENCES 213 TEAROUT SHEETS FOR PARENTS AND TEACHERS 217 "Happy together!" 10 INTRODUCTION JESSICA ,gip "I always win!" Six-year-old Jessica was out of control. When angry, she bit her wrist till it bled, screamed and swore, hit her mother or attacked a wall or door in a fit of rage! Jessica always insisted on having her own way. Once at a shopping center, she refused to accompany her parents back to their car.
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