Master Decision-Making with This Self-Talk Trick

6/9/2014 Master Decision-Making With This Self-Talk Trick

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JUNE 9, 2014 – 5:15 PM – 0 COMMENTS

By KRISTEN FISCHER @kristenfischer

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(iStock) The Rise of Rosé: How "Pink ealing with a personal dilemma? Instead of giving yourself advice Wine" Became Serious Business D from your own point of view, pretend that a friend is giving you wise ALLIE ALBANESE & MELISSA DIAZ, words. CONTRIBUTOR Bryan Cranston Wins Tony That’s right—talk to yourself, and refer to yourself in third person. Award for Playing LBJ in All the Way A study in Psychological Science finds that we have a bias in ourselves LINDSAY LOWE, EDITOR when it comes to wise reasoning. Photographers Prefer Blondes! Rare Photos of “We call the bias Solomon’s Paradox, after the king who was known for his Marilyn Monroe Revealed ISABELLE RAPHAEL, EDITOR wisdom, but who still failed at making personal decisions,” said Igor Grossmann, Ph.D., of the University of Waterloo in Canada. He conducted a Gifts for the Not-So-Active Dad series of experiments along with Ethan Kross, Ph.D., from the University of SVERVE, PARTNER Michigan. For the Dad Who Wants to Get They asked participants in monogamous romantic relationships, to think Fit: Top 5 Gift Ideas SVERVE, PARTNER about a theoretical issue in which the other person cheated. Then they asked them questions about the fictional scenario. The questions were The Daily Cute: Moo Monday designed to tapped into wise reasoning, which is the ability to recognize JON HOROWITZ, CONTRIBUTOR the limits of one’s own knowledge, search for a compromise, consider the perspectives of others, and recognize the possible ways in which the http://parade.condenast.com/302971/kristenfischer/master-decision-making-with-this-self-talk-trick/ 1/3 6/9/2014 Master Decision-Making With This Self-Talk Trick scenario could unfold. How Old is the World's Oldest Orca? ELIZABETH LIMBACH, When people were asked to weigh in on their own issue, they made less- CONTRIBUTOR wise choices. But when they took the position of a friend giving advice to Good Morning America Host someone who had been cheated on (or had cheated on the other person), Ginger Zee Says 'I Do' to they made wiser choices. Ben Aaron ASHLEIGH SCHMITZ, EDITOR

In another experiment, Grossmann and Kross asked participants to take 5 Things to Know About Miss either a first-person perspective (“put yourself in this situation”) or a third- USA 2014 Nia Sanchez ASHLEIGH SCHMITZ, EDITOR person perspective (“put yourself in your friend’s shoes”) when reasoning about the issue. Again, those who thought about the issue from their own Tony Awards 2014 Winners: point of view showed less reasoning than those who thought about a Neil Patrick Harris, Hugh Jackman Steal the Show friend’s relationship conflict. LINDSAY LOWE, EDITOR

How to talk yourself through a conflict Fact or Fiction: Do Ostriches Bury Their Heads in the Sand? MICHELE C. HOLLOW, Distancing ourselves from a personal problem by approaching it as an CONTRIBUTOR outsider may be the key to wise reasoning. The key is calling yourself by Vets for Vets: How Veterans your name, as a friend would, instead of taking the first person (“I need Can Get Free Pet Insurance for to…”) approach. So use your own name instead of “I” when talking to Their Service Dogs MICHELE C. HOLLOW, yourself. Heck, speak out loud if you have to. (Example: “Kristen needs CONTRIBUTOR to…”) Ask Carrie: How Can You Set a Good Financial Example for “We are the first to demonstrate that there is a simple way to eliminate this Your Kids? bias in reasoning by talking about ourselves in the third person and using CARRIE SCHWAB-POMERANTZ, CONTRIBUTOR our name when reflecting on a relationship conflict,” said Grossmann. “When we employ this strategy, we are more likely to think wisely about an No-Fuss Desserts: Strawberry Shortcake Brownie Cupcakes issue.” MELISSA SPERKA, CONTRIBUTOR

Holy Smokes! Couple Takes Incredible Wedding Photos Kristen Fischer writes about health, careers and more for publications such During Wildfire as Healthline, LifetimeMoms and SheKnows. ISABELLE RAPHAEL, EDITOR Light and Creamy Spring Pasta Primavera SARAH DIGREGORIO, EDITOR

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