Robert Pickton— the Pig Farmer Killer
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Cold Open: Do you love the taste of bacon? A ham sandwich? Maybe a pork chop? You might not after you finish today’s episode. Might take you a second to get back into a good pork groove. We talk a lot about pork and pigs in today’s Suck on Robert Pickton— the Pig Farmer Killer. A Canadian pig farmer, butcher, and prolific serial killer. In so many ways, Robert’s life was dark and disgusting long before he killed anyone. Robert was born to Helen and Leonard Pickton, two insanely filthy farmers who lived just outside of beautiful Vancouver in British Columbia, Canada. These two farmers couldn’t have cared less about clean clothes or a house that wasn’t full of animal shit or even about bathing their children. Robert and his brother, Dave, would get bullied by their peers at school for literally reeking of the piss and shit and pig blood that covered their clothes. And this appearance - NOT typical for the area. They weren’t way out in the sticks and they weren’t living two hundred years ago. They lived in the affluent Vancouver suburb of Port Coquitlam [coe quit lum] surrounded by the families of doctors and hospital workers who worked at the nearby medical complex. Robert and his family were total anomalies. Along with being disgusting, dirty people, his family weren’t people with strong moral compasses, either. When Robert was in his teens, his younger brother smashed into a neighbor boy in a hit-and-run and momma would try and cover this up - and also possibly murder the teen her boy had run over. Many years later, when Robert and his brother inherited the family pig farm, it would become the setting of a series of super-violent and nightmarish endings for dozens of women. One woman—a former friend of Pickton—once walked in on him while he worked in his slaughterhouse. She saw him hacking away at the meat on his table - human meat. She looked up and saw the dead body of a young woman, naked and hanging from a meathook, awaiting her turn to be skillfully sliced into pieces to be discarded… … and possibly sold to Vancouverites who would unknowingly then eat her. Yep. Big bacon fans in the great Vancouver area may have unknowingly eaten people-meat in the late 1990s and at the turn of the 21st century. This suck gets dark today. And so strange. The true story of one of Canada’s most notorious and weirdest and definitely dirtiest serial killer, Robert William Pickton, right now, on another true crime edition of Timesuck. PAUSE TIMESUCK INTRO I. Welcome! A.Happy Monday: Happy Monday Meatsacks! Welcome to the Cult of the Curious. Last week I told you to be glad your weren’t a Stayner. This week, maybe be even more glad you're not a Pickton. Or at least not direction to Bobby Willy Pickton. I’m Dan Cummins, WHACK IT National Spokesperson. The Master Sucker. Neighborhood Dadwatch President. And you are listening to Timesuck. Hail Nimrod, Lucifina, Bojangles, and Triple M. Recording again in the Suck Dungeon out of Couer d’Alene, Idaho - weather has been up and down but better than down down - I’ll take it. I’ll take some of that sunshine. B.Tour Dates?: Show announcement! Gonna be doing a live virtual show this April 22nd. It will be a live HORROR show if you’re interested. Scared to Death LIVE Thursday, April 22nd, 6:00 PM PST, the virtual “doors” for a 6:30PM PT show time. The show will be interactive with your chance to participate in a live chat, polls and a Q & A at the end of the show all looped.com AND - just like a live show for your favorite band, we also have limited edition Scared To Death LIVE merch. Tickets available at badmagicmerch.com. Thursday, April 22nd, 6:30PM PT - Scared to Death LIVE. Visit BadMagicMerch.com for more details. C.Merch: STRYPER DEVIL BUTTON D.Additional Announcements: And that’s it for announcements. Tour announcements coming soon. Looking to be hitting the road for a new standup tour starting in August. E.Segue to Topic: And now for another name to add to the list of the Universe’s Biggest Dirtbags. We got a weird one day. And if you’re a long time listener, you know that’s saying something. It’s true crime time again with Robert Pickton - AKA the “Pig Farmer Killer,” AKA Butcher of Vancouver,” AKA Bobby Willy! AKA Uncle Willie. PAUSE TIMESUCK INTERLUDE II. Intro/Establish Premiss: How did Robert Pickton - a man who, as we’ll soon find out, is unintelligent, slow, and often quite literally covered in shit - how did he get away with killing dozens of women for years? He didn’t have charm. He didn’t have smarts. He definitely didn’t have good looks. He didn’t have good social skills. He sure as shit didn’t smell good. He didn’t wash his clothes very often either. Or his face. Or his hair. Or, I’m guessing, his butt and balls. I don’t think oral hygiene was a big priority for Pickton. Wouldn’t guess this filthy son a bitch brushed his teeth twice a day. Or once a week. Doubt he was making sure he was hitting the insides of the molars. I’m gonna guess he’s not even sure what floss is. I’d bet my life he’s never actually touched a piece of floss. He didn’t seem - while he was a free man not in prison - like me made any effort whatsoever to NOT look like someone who’d just been cast in the sequel to Deliverance. Or in some new The Hills Have Eyes movie. Dude looked Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s long lost and even creepier little brother. As fucked up as his crimes were - as real as his victims’ lives and deaths were - I’ll be honest - I kept laughing while researching this guy, because when you look at him, and read about certain aspects of his life - he feels less like a real person and more like an over- the-top character in some B Horror, Grindhouse flick. So again - how did this cartoonishly creepy son-of-a-bitch, someone who a director for a made-for-TV melodrama would ask to tone it down regarding his portrayal of a serial killer - ever get any woman to come to his house or get in a vehicle with him? Money. It was that simple. He paid them. Or gave them drugs. He preyed on sex workers working Vancouver’s rough Downtown Eastside. He often preyed on those struggling with drug addiction. Women barely treading water in life before he came along. And then he was all too happy to push their heads underwater. At numerous points in today’s story, you’re gonna think that I’m telling one of my tall tales - that I’m about to say, “JK! That’s fucking crazy. That’s too much!” And maybe I will once or twice. But so many times I won’t. This story is insane. And it happened less than a seven hour drive from where I sit and record. Less than 450 miles away. Less than twenty years ago. And I’d never heard of it prior to it showing up as a topic submission. Weird, creepy, dirtbag killers - I keep getting reminded that there is no shortage of them in the world. Came across about five other northwest serial killers I’d never heard of when watching a documentary on Pickton. Other guys who were briefly suspects for the murders he committed. So how did this real-life monster kill unimpeded for at least around five years? For maybe a lot longer than that? Partially, it seems, because the Vancouver Police didn’t knock this particular investigation out of the park. Critics of the Vancouver Police have pointed to Pickton’s murders as proof that law enforcement was biased against sex workers and often didn’t do enough to prevent this vulnerable population from being harmed - that they didn’t do enough to investigate their murders. We’ll look at that. We’ll also look how hard it is to keep track of a population that doesn’t want to be tracked. A population that actively seeks to stay hidden in the shadows. Hard to have it both ways. Tough to expect the police to leave you alone and ignore any illegal activities you may be engaged in - that you ARE frequently engaged in - but then ALSO expect the same police to be monitoring any particularly bad people who may intend to do you harm. The police didn’t know for certain that many of Picton’s victims had been murdered. Not until years after their deaths. They just went missing, like a lot of women Vancouver’s downtown Eastside did and still do. And a lot of those women didn’t go missing because they were killed. Some left the sex worker trade and went back to wherever they came from or started a new life somewhere else. Some left for Seattle and some other cities to see how they would fare in the sex trade there. And they don’t tell the police before they left town. They don’t notify their families. We covered a very similar situation in Anchorage, Alaska instead of Vancouver, in the Robert “The Butcher Baker” Hansen Suck.