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Published by Americans for The Link Middle East Understanding, Inc. Volume 45, Issue 1 Link Archives: www.ameu.org January-March, 2012 There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure. — Paulo Coelho, “The Alchemist” By Maysoon Zayid y name is Maysoon The following is my story in three chap- Zayid. I am a Palestin- ters! Please keep in mind I am a comedian ian-American, come- first, foremost, and for life. Some facts have dian, actress, writer and producer. been been changed to protect the innocent. (Continued on Page 3. When The Link asked me to write an article, I was excited to be in such a great publication. When they told me the topic, my excitement turned to dread. They wanted the article to n be about me and by me. All I could w o r B think was, “How do I do this with- a s e e L out sounding egomaniacal— and in y b o t less than 400 pages?” o h P — Maysoon Zayid on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. The Link Page 2 AMEU Board of Directors About This Issue Jane Adas (Vice President) Deheishe, on the outskirts of which, aptly, he called “Book.” Only a Elizabeth D. Barlow Bethlehem, is a refugee camp. The few copies were printed, and the one he Edward Dillon children here, as elsewhere on the sent me from his home in England now occupies a proud spot in my home’sfar Rod Driver West Bank, grow up under the long- from imposing bookshelf. John Goelet est military occupation in modern-day history. More than 50 of the 5,000 books were David Grimland ones Geoff himself had authored. Several Richard Hobson (Treasurer) Maysoon Zayid knows these chil- of these have been adopted for university Anne R. Joyce dren. And through her nonprofit or- and college courses, and several have been ganization, Maysoon’s Kids, she Hon. Robert V. Keeley translated into a dozen or so languages. knows how to help them. He also penned hundreds of articles and Kendall Landis ( reviews for the general and technical Robert L. Norberg (President) The best medicine, it seems, is still laughter. In a 2009 interview with the press, including three feature articles for Hon. Edward L. Peck Guardian of London, she noted: The Link . Donald L. Snook “These children are so strangled here. We talked often on the phone, although Rosmarie Sunderland With comedy they can take the pain we never met. Next time you’re in Lon- James M. Wall and channel it, get it off their chests.” don, he’dsay, we’ll go to the pub and down a pint or two. It never happened. In that same interview, Maysoon AMEU National So, when I received the news from his recalled asking one particularly trou- Council wife that my friend had died, I went to my bled teenager, who had just gotten out Hugh D. Auchincloss, Jr. bookshelf, took down “Book,”proceeded of an Israeli jail, to tell the class about William R. Chandler to the fridge for a bottle of beer, and for the worst memories of his time inside. Kathleen Christison the best part of the afternoon, I reac- Soon the boy was talking about the quainted myself with his cherished assem- Paul Findley bad prison food, the awful smells, blage of friends. Moorhead Kennedy even the worst cellmates. Then some- * * * Ann Kerr thing happened. Through a combination of Nancy Lapp comic timing and skillful storytelling his Due to AMEU’s own limited shelf George E. Mendenhall routine came together, and an evolution space, we are offering, on page 14, at sub- Mary Norton occurred. This “prison-skinny”boy went stantially reduced prices, a number of books from our own research library. Don W. Wagner from fear, to bonding with the audience, to getting more open. Miriam Ward, RSM * * * “That’swhat standup is,”says the come- Finally, we invite our readers to visit Executive Director dienne from Cliffside, N.J. “It humanizes our recently redesigned website: www. John F. Mahoney you.” ameu.org. Our initial website 15 years ago Somewhere in the pages that follow, was an amateur creation of Bob Norberg. AMEU (ISSN 0024-4007) The professional redesign was done by grants permission to Maysoon Zayid will tell us that she hates another Norberg volunteer, Bob’sson Jeff, reproduce material from The kids. who has assumed all site maintenance re- Link in part or in whole. Don’tbelieve her. AMEU must be credited and sponsibilities. Among the features you one copy forwarded to our *** will find on the site, in an easy-to- office at 475 Riverside Drive, One of Geoff Simons’smost prized pos- download format, are Maysoon Zayid’s Room 245, New York, New sessions was his library of over 5,000 vol- article, Geoff Simons’sthree articles, and, York 10115-0245. Tel. 212- umes, representing just about every liter- indeed, all of our articles going back to 870-2053; Fax 212-870- 1968. 2 0 5 0 ; E - m a i l : ary genre there is. When he was diagnosed [email protected]; Website: with cancer a few years ago, he decided to John F. Mahoney www.ameu.org. write a book about his “intimate friends” Executive Director The Link Page 3 (Continued from Page 1.) to me and why it needs to be combated by all non- Survival of the Un-fittest violent means necessary. In the America I grew up in, folks had no problem with the fact that I was I was born on Labor Day. At the exact same time Muslim. They did, however seem very concerned that my mom was going into labor, her doctor was that I would die during the month of Ramadan getting drunk as a skunk at a picnic. Dr. R. had de- from fasting. I would assure them I had enough livered all three of my sisters and apparently they fat to live off for at least three months. had just slid out for him. He figured he could roll up completely wasted, deliver me, and be back in time I had an incredibly happy childhood in New for the ice cream. I came out fist first. Dr. Drunky Jersey. When I was six, my father taught me how panicked, and proceeded to display his homage to to walk. Most people with CP don’twalk at all. Jack the Ripper. He cut my mom six different times My brain is literally damaged. Messages sent from in six different directions. The first cut gave me my my brain to my body go in all the wrong direc- first breath, but I was still stuck. I couldn’ttake my tions. For example, if you want to make a fist, next breath for another 3 minutes. Three. Full. Min- your fingers bend and you make a fist. In my case, utes. my mouth twitches, my leg wiggles, and eventu- ally I make half a fist. Cerebral Palsy is not genetic. It’snot a birth de- fect. You can’tcatch it. No one put a curse on my One of the best parts of having CP is the fact mother’suterus, and I didn’tget it because my par- that I shake all the time. Try it, it’sexhausting. ents are first cousins, which they are. It only hap- People often think I’mdrunk, which is really an- pens from accidents like what happened to me on noying, especially when I’mdriving. that September 7th at Englewood hospital in NJ. I’veoften been referred to as a “highly func- Cliffside Park, NJ is my hometown. I was raised tional” disabled person. I’mnot sure what that there and I plan to be buried there. It’slike Little means, but I attribute it to my upbringing. My House on the Prairie meets The Sopranos. It’sone parents simply chose to ignore the fact that I was tiny square mile, predominantly blue collar Italian disabled. They treated me exactly like my three Catholic, and located 2.2 miles from Times Square older sisters. If my sisters were mopping, I was NYC. Our claim to fame is that the George Washing- mopping; if my sisters went to public school, they ton Bridge, which connects Manhattan to Mainland would sue the school and make sure I went to USA, lets out in our town. public school too. I couldn’task for better par- ents. Growing up, there were only six Arabs in Cliff- side, and they were all my family. Now, there are 20 I’venever had conventional physical therapy. Arabs in town, and they're still all my family. I don't My parents couldn’tafford it so they sent me to think anyone ever noticed that we weren't Italian. tap class. A veterinarian told my father if he (Note to reader: I look Italian.) couldn’tafford PT, dance was the next best thing. It was the only physical therapy I did until 2006 The America I grew up in most definitely had when I started doing yoga. Yoga, the polar oppo- racism but not in my small town. I have been in site of tap, is something I was never interested in every single church in Cliffside Park. My friends because I associated it with hippies. A fellow ac- would take me to midnight Mass on Christmas and tress convinced me to try it and it absolutely show me off telling parishioners, “She’sfrom where changed my life. I learned to walk by tap dancing Jesus was born.” We were never treated as an but I learned to live by doing yoga.