ABC Nanny Guide.Pdf

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Printed in the United States of America First Printing, 2013 HomeWork Solutions Inc. 2 Pidgeon Hill Dr. Suite 550 Sterling, VA 20165

www.HomeWorkSolutions.com

ABOUT KATHY

Kathy Webb is a co-founder of HomeWork Solutions. Since 1993, she and her staff have provided payroll and tax services to families employing household workers.

Kathy’s extensive professional experience in the “nanny world” has earned her a position on the International Nanny Association (INA) Board of Directors, and memberships with the Association of Premier Nanny Agencies (APNA) and the Domestic Estate Managers Association.

In the text to follow, Kathy combines her professional insights with her own personal experiences as a former household employer, to advise prospective (and existing) employers about the legal, financial, and personal aspects of the Nanny/Family relationship.

Additionally, Kathy is the author of numerous related articles and has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Kiplinger's Personal Finance, and the Congressional Quarterly. She also consulted with Senate staffers in the drafting of the 1994 Nanny Tax Law.

When she’s not hard at work or presenting at conferences all across the country, you can find Kathy in her kitchen preparing feasts from the fruits of her home garden, playing with her grandbabies, or sitting lake-side with her husband and a good book.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

About Kathy ...... 3

Table of Contents ...... 4

What is a Nanny? What does a Nanny do? ...... 6

Assess Your Needs ...... 7

Live-in or Live-out Nanny: Making the Decision ...... 8

Affording a Nanny: Planning Your Childcare Budget ...... 10

Arranging a Nanny Share ...... 10

Finding a Nanny: Agency or DIY? ...... 13

Hiring the Nanny ...... 14

Pre-Screen the Candidate ...... 14

Interviewing the Candidate ...... 15

Nanny Interview Questions ...... 15

Common Interviewing Mistakes ...... 20

Making a Nanny Employment Offer ...... 21

General Considerations Regarding Nanny Wages and Benefits ...... 21

The Compensation Package ...... 23

Vetting the Nanny ...... 26

Background Checks ...... 26

Reference Checks ...... 27

The Working Interview ...... 27

Nanny Hired! Wrapping Up the Details ...... 28

The Work Agreement ...... 28

Orienting the New Nanny...... 29

Learning Your New Role as an Employer ...... 30

Monitoring Performance ...... 33

Encouraging Communication: ...... 35

Parent Working from Home? Tips for Success ...... 37

Addressing Problems in the Employment Relationship ...... 39

Understanding Why Nannies Quit...... 40

Ending the Employment Relationship ...... 41

Letting the Nanny Go ...... 41

Appendices ...... 44

Domestic Employee Responsibilities: Job Titles & Definitions ...... 44

Quiz Answers: What Kind of Employer Are You? Best Answers...... 49

Recommended Reading & Resources ...... 50

WHAT IS A NANNY? WHAT DOES A NANNY DO?

Nannies are childcare specialists who participate in the social, emotional, and intellectual development of their charges. They are often expected to work with children on such areas a language development, potty training, social manners, homework, and more.

A Nanny’s primary concern is the welfare of your child or children. Routine tasks may include:

• Prepare simple, nutritious meals for the children. • Clean up the kitchen after children's meals (including dishes, counters, and loading or unloading the dishwasher). • Perform basic tasks related to children’s hygiene: bathing, brushing teeth, hair grooming. • Wash, dry, fold, and put away children's laundry. • Straightening up children’s bedrooms and play areas. • Periodic toy sanitization • Periodic review of children’s clothing to remove outgrown and out of season items.

Notice that tasks unrelated to your children and their care are not on this list. Asking your nanny to perform non- childcare related household tasks distracts them from their primary focus - the care and nurturing of your children.

OTHER JOB TITLES FOR HOUSEHOLD EMPLOYEES INCLUDE:

• Nanny • Nanny/Housekeeper • Nanny/Governess • Nanny/Household Manager • Mother's Helper • Newborn Care Specialist (FKA Baby Nurse) • Babysitter

See These Positions Defined >>

ASSESS YOUR NEEDS

So you need some help with childcare and perhaps even the running of your home. Is a nanny the right solution for you? Before you pursue the nanny recruitment process, you should first thoughtfully assess your family’s needs.

Consider your nanny-related expectations:

• What days and hours you will need care? This is a qualification all candidates must be able to meet. • What is your budget? How much can you afford to pay? Research to find out what nannies are paid in your area. Many families will start the nanny search process only to find out that they are unable or unwilling to offer competitive pay and to attract quality nanny candidates. • What other skills or experiences does your ideal nanny possess? Make a list of the functions she will have to perform and then assign a skill or requirement necessary. For example: o If you have an infant, your nanny should have verifiable infant care experience. o If your nanny is going to drive your children (to school, after school activities, etc), you should require they have a valid driver’s license and a clean DMV report. If your nanny is required to provide this transportation in their own personal vehicle, additional requirements should include a current driver’s license and adequate insurance, seat belts and perhaps even a mechanic's inspection of her car (that you pay for) to assure it’s overall safety. Note that car seats, if required, are a parental responsibility to provide. o What kind of education, experience, or skills do you prefer? o Other considerations might include fluent English, non-smoker, CPR certified. You should even consider the age range and style you are seeking from a nanny caregiver before you begin recruiting. • After you have completed your list, take the additional time to divide this list into “Absolute Must Have” requirements, and those requirements that would be “Nice to Have” but not essential. • Once you have decided what you want from the nanny-employer relationship, be sure to discuss what you are prepared to offer: salary, benefits, and living conditions (live-in or live-out?).

LIVE-IN OR LIVE-OUT NANNY: MAKING THE DECISION

Before you can decide on a living arrangement for your nanny, you should consider the common pros and cons for each arrangement.

THE LIVE-IN NANNY

A live-in nanny will reside in your home, generally in a private bedroom, and receive room and board in addition to their salary.

Advantages include:

• The live-in arrangement eliminates a commute, and potential challenges that come with it: tardiness due to car trouble, weather, or simply traffic. • Proximity to the family also affords the live-in nanny a faster and more natural connection with the family. This is especially true for the parents, who may otherwise spend a few hurried minutes with the nanny in the morning, and again when they relieve the come-and-go-nanny at the end of their shift. This extra face time creates ease with the nanny, and less anxiety for parents (and the children) when parents leave the house each day. • Families enjoy greater flexibility with a live-in caregiver. They are generally more available to address last minute scheduling issues, as they do not have their own family waiting for them at home in the evening or early mornings. (Remember, if the live in nanny is available for overtime, the family must compensate her for the additional hours worked.) Parents who require 24/7 coverage at times due to work travel find that a live-in nanny can better accommodate this occasional need. • There is some anecdotal evidence that the retention rate of a live-in nanny is better than their live-out counterparts.

Disadvantages of Live-in care include:

• Families must be prepared to provide separate, private sleeping quarters for the live-in nanny. Expect to provide a private, furnished bedroom and preferably a private bath. (Some live-in nannies will agree to share a bath with the small children, but rarely with the other adults in the household.) • Providing meals for the live-in nanny is part of their overall employment package. Many families invite the live-in nanny to share meals with them, and often allow the live-in nanny to add certain items to the family grocery list – a favorite yogurt or soft drink, for example. • A majority of live-in nannies do not own their own vehicle, and may require regular access to a family- owned vehicle. • Families hiring live-in caregivers are often surprised at how little 'value' is assigned to the living arrangements in the nanny's compensation. A live-in nanny salary is typically 10 - 15% below that of a similarly qualified live-out nanny. • The majority of live-in nannies are younger, less experienced caregivers. As their earning potential increases, many of them aspire to live-out and enjoy the privacy of their own accommodations.

THE LIVE-OUT NANNY

Live-out, sometimes called “come-and-go,” care affords a more traditional employer/employee relationship.

Advantages to this arrangement include:

• Compatibility between the nanny and parent is much less important. (Though personalities and emotions will always have a role in nanny relationships because children are involved.) • Some live-out nannies commute via their private vehicle. Families will often ask the live-out nanny to run errands or provide transportation to/from preschool and other activities using the nanny's car. Be prepared to address the insurance issues (her rates will increase to get coverage to protect her and your children in the event of an accident during work hours) and provide adequate compensation for fuel, depreciation and maintenance. Most nannies who agree to use their vehicle will expect per mile compensation at the IRS' prevailing mileage reimbursement rate.

Disadvantages of Live-out care include:

• There is less flexibility in hours and schedules with live-out employees. The live-out nanny often has a family of her own that she returns to each evening, often her own children who require help with homework, transportation to activities, etc. The live-out nanny will expect to arrive for work at a set hour and be relieved according to schedule. • Whenever there is a commute, there is potential for transportation issues. Punctuality may be an issue, often a factor of commuting distances and traffic/transit issues, particularly during inclement weather. • Live-out caregivers are better compensated than their live-in counterparts, and may be more likely to change jobs to improve hours, compensation, or commuting time/expense than a live-in nanny.

AFFORDING A NANNY: PLANNING YOUR CHILDCARE BUDGET

Childcare is often one of the two biggest expenses a young family faces – right up there with your mortgage or rent payment. Take a few minutes to run the expense scenarios involved when you hire a nanny to make sure you will be able to offer competitive wages and benefits:

• Consider Your Local Nanny Market: Research nanny salaries in your area. Make sure you identify this in terms of dollars per hour, as a full time nanny may work between 35 – 55 hours weekly and the length of the work day plays an important role in a nanny’s wage. Find this information via help-wanted advertisements, online childcare venues, and of course nanny referral agencies who work in your community. • Employment Taxes: Nannies are employees. When you become an employer you assume tax responsibilities. Nanny wages are typically stated in GROSS wage terms – the amount the nanny earns before her taxes are deducted from the paycheck. As an employer you will also have to pay certain taxes that are above your nanny’s gross wage. Employer paid taxes average 10 – 12% of the nanny’s gross wage. • Bonuses and Wage Increases: All employees appreciate tangible signs that you appreciate a job well done. Many families plan for an annual bonus of 1 to 2 weeks pay, paid either at the end of the year or on the nanny’s employment anniversary. Plan some wiggle room in your childcare budget to allow for periodic bonus pay or wage increases. • Insurance: Many states require that all employers carry Workers’ Compensation Insurance. This is always paid by the employer, and can run 2 – 4% of the gross annual payroll. If your nanny will be driving your personal vehicle, you will also need to add the nanny as an authorized user to your auto insurance policy. • Other Expenses: o Utilities: A nanny works in your home. You should expect some utilities to increase, especially if this is your first child and the home was previously unoccupied during the work day. o Groceries: Generally a nanny will be in your home and on duty over at least one meal period daily. Some families give their nanny access to the family’s refrigerator/pantry and purchase sufficient groceries to accommodate a daily lunch for example. Some nannies prefer to bring their own food. When your children are old enough for table food, this sometimes becomes problematic, as your child may desire to eat your nanny’s food! Work out these details in advance and stay flexible!

ARRANGING A NANNY SHARE

ESTIMATE YOUR EMPLOYER TAX EXPENSE

Use HomeWork Solutions’ FREE payroll tax calculator to calculate the deductions from the nanny’s gross wage and estimate your employer paid taxes on any wage amount.

{FREE} Resource: "Payroll Tax Calculator" >>

Families interested in hiring a quality in-home caregiver more economically may opt to participate in a “Nanny Share.” This arrangement involves hiring an individual who is willing to care for the children from two families. This can be advantageous to the families and the nanny; however, there are additional issues and considerations that do not arise in the traditional nanny scenario.

• The nanny working in a share generally receives a premium salary, often 20% higher than the prevailing rate for single-family care for the same number of children. Families split the costs to yield a lower individual family cost for the same professional care. • Nanny shares are most successful when there are 2 - 3 children, and ages are compatible.

LOGISTICS OF THE NANNY SHARE

LEGAL NOTE:

Some states regulate nanny shares and require licensing when a non-relative provides out-of-home care on a regular basis. Licensing may be required of the caregiver and/or the home where the care is being provided.

The first step in a Nanny Share is finding another family who shares similar childcare needs and requirements. Consider:

• How many families will participate? The more families involved, the more everyone will need to agree on each item to be discussed; but some arrangements can work with more than two families - communication is key, along with the realization that this is a business arrangement. • The Other Family: Unless you already know the other family extremely well, you should be interviewing each other to determine your own compatibility.

Together, construct a work agreement that addresses and resolves the following items to each family’s satisfaction:

• The Anticipated Length of the Share Arrangement: Some families enter into a nanny share as a stop gap while they await an opening in a day care center. Others are looking for home based, non-institutional care for their child through age 2 or the start of pre-school. It is important that the families have a frank discussion of their plans and expectations. Nanny also needs to be apprised of expectations, and given both notice and a reference when the share comes to an end. • Where will the care be given? Some families rotate; others use only one home. If care will not be given in each family's home, consideration should be given to the wear and tear which will occur in the home where the care is given. o Is that home maintained to the satisfaction of both families? o Who will be responsible for supplying the toys and replacing broken ones?

o What about meals that the children and caregiver will be eating during the day - who will provide the food and pay for it? o Equipment issues: the host family usually stores the share family's pack-and-play. Other considerations include extra car seats, perhaps a tandem stroller, extra high chair, etc. Dealing fairly with these expenses is important. • Schedules and Hours: Will both families need care for the same hours each day or will there be an extra hour at the beginning and end of each day where only one family's children are being cared for? Logistically, will that work out in the home where the care is given? • Benefits and Vacations: o Will the nanny receive paid holidays, sick days or paid vacation days? Typical benefits include paid Federal Holidays and 5 - 10 days of paid time off (vacation, sick, etc.). o How do you plan to coordinate vacations? A full time nanny will expect to receive her weekly pay for every week of the year, even if a family does not need her care on any particular day or week. o What is your backup care plan for days the nanny has vacation or, even worse, a sick day? o If the host family is vacationing, will nanny be required to go to the share family's home? • Payroll Taxes: Pay the nanny on the books. Access to unemployment benefits when the share ends is the nanny’s right, and is the right thing to do. Both families are legally employers and are responsible for payroll taxes on the portion of the nanny’s wages they pay. • Illnesses: It is important to work out what happens when the children are sick. It will be possible that the sick child will be living at the home where the care is being provided that day. Will the care be given at the other home that particular day? • Age of the Children: Age may not be a problem, but think about the pros and cons of having a number of children the same or similar age or the opposite scenario - children spanning the range. If you have two infants, consider recruiting a nanny who has experience caring for multiples. • Child Care Philosophy: How do you want the children disciplined? Do you have particular feelings about nutrition? What are your opinions regarding television? The families must agree on these items - the nanny cannot enforce different rules for the children being cared together. • Termination of the Nanny Share: All families should agree on providing the other reasonable notice or payment to the nanny in lieu of notice when they plan to exit the nanny share. Two weeks is the minimum, four weeks is more reasonable. At least three households – the families and the nanny – need a clear transition path.

All families should be involved in putting together the work agreement and interviewing candidates. Likewise, the nanny should have the opportunity to meet all parties before accepting the position.

FINDING A NANNY: AGENCY OR DIY?

How will you find nanny applicants? Options include:

• Word of Mouth: Talk to other families in your neighborhood, place of worship, clubs and colleagues at work. Often they will know a nanny looking for work, or a family who will no longer need their experienced nanny. • Search Online: There are a number of online venues that specialize in helping families find nanny candidates. These websites typically have ample candidates looking for employment, with a wide variety of skills, experience, education and commitment to the career. Many families are successful searching online while many more are frustrated and disappointed with applicants they meet. • Engage a Nanny Referral Agency: These businesses routinely help families locate qualified nannies. They typically follow a staffing agency model, with their fee set as either a percentage of the expected nanny wage or a flat fee. Most will charge a non-refundable retainer to begin the search for you. Look for agencies who are members of professional associations such as the International Nanny Association (INA) or the Association of Premier Nanny Agencies (APNA). Screen the agency and ask questions regarding their reference and background screening policies, guarantee, and references. A reputable, experienced agency will usually have several qualified applicants that they can send for your review right away. Your agency may offer placement counselors who are available to answer your questions and assist you with your job description and compensation offer. Perhaps more importantly, these businesses have extensive experience in pre-screening applicants, interviewing and background research that translates into your speaking to only the most qualified vetted candidates. A comprehensive nanny agency directory can be found online at NannyNetwork.com.

Do Your Research! Even when a nanny comes with a personal recommendation, it’s important to remember that nanny requirements vary drastically from family to family. The nanny that was perfect for one family may not meet your expectations at all.

When you find a promising candidate, make sure you perform an interview, background screen, and reference check before constructing a work agreement and compensation package. Pre-employment background screening can be ordered online through NannyVerify.com and will require the signed consent/release from the nanny applicant.

HIRING THE NANNY

PRE-SCREEN THE CANDIDATE

Most nanny applicants are honest and caring, seeking only the best family match for their skills and preferences. However, there are some bad apples in the barrel - learn how to spot them:

• Verify Applicant Identity: Ask the candidate to show you valid, government issued photo identification. Consider making a copy for your records. A candidate without a valid photo ID is not likely to possess valid US Work Authorization and most likely cannot be reasonably background checked. For this reason, EXPERTS STRONGLY ADVISE AGAINST HIRING CANDIDATES CURRENTLY LIVING ABROAD. In general, a family should assume that an applicant living abroad does NOT have US work authorization and cannot be background checked until it has been proved otherwise. • Require a Formal Job Application: You need important information from every candidate to aid you in both the interview and reference checking process. A formal job application should include the candidate's name, address, and all phone numbers and chronological job history and educational history. Confirm name and address agree with the photo ID. Look for unexplained gaps. If significant gaps exist, ask the candidate to help 'fill in the blanks.' Make sure the candidate's history is in month/year format. Ask probing questions - often gaps indicate a prior poor employment experience, but they can signal a myriad of other problems. {FREE} Resource: "Nanny Employment Application Form" >> • Require References: Character and employment references should not be friends and family of the applicant. Red Flag: Candidate cannot or will not provide non-related references. Walk away! • Pre-Interview the Candidate: Generally speaking, the first 'interview' of a nanny candidate will occur over the telephone. Increasingly families are using video chat services such as Skype or Face Time to do initial candidate screening. Parents use this opportunity to pre-screen candidates before they schedule a personal interview. The personal interview is very time consuming, so it is important to make sure you feel there is a reasonable chance that the parents and nanny can agree on: o Start Date. o General job responsibilities, both childcare related and housekeeping, if required. o Salary expectations in line with family budget. o Nanny has experience and/or training sufficient for your requirements. o Personality, lifestyle and philosophical match.

FIND A LOCAL NANNY REFERRAL AGENCY

If you are uncertain of your pre-screening skills, seriously consider engaging a professional nanny referral agency. These professionals have years of experience in applicant screening and are skilled at avoiding risky candidates and identifying the cream of the crop.

Recommended Resource: "NannyNetwork.com" >>

INTERVIEWING THE CANDIDATE

After you have spent the necessary time with the pre-interview, you will want to schedule a personal interview. The sequence of events will be different, depending if you are interviewing someone who is reasonably local or interviewing a candidate who lives a considerable distance from your home. Candidates who need to catch a train, bus or plane to come to your home for an interview will expect you to pay for these expenses. It is common for families to hire a nanny, particularly for live-in situations, from a distance. Make sure you follow the recommended sequence of events below.

Local Candidate Non-Local Candidate • Telephone or Video Chat Interview • Telephone Interview/Video Chat - Often more • Personal Interview than one. • Obtain Formal Job Application • Obtain Formal Job Application • Check Employment and Personal References • Check Employment and Personal References • Extend Conditional Offer of Employment • Extend Conditional Offer of Employment • Order SSN/Criminal Background Check (DMV if • Order SSN/Criminal Background Check (DMV if desired) desired) • Execute Work Agreement and Finalize • Personal Interview, transportation paid by Employment Terms hiring family* • Execute Work Agreement and Finalize Employment Terms *Sometimes a family feels so strongly that the match is a good one that instead of paying transportation for a personal interview, they arrange a 'trial' employment period - one or two weeks - with the nanny. Her time is paid and she is guaranteed return transportation if either party decides it won't work out. In these cases, all references and background checking should be completed before the nanny travels to your home.

NANNY INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

In conducting the interview, you want to be prepared, yet flexible, and create a communication climate in which the nanny candidate will feel comfortable. Signal your interest, but avoid leading the nanny to respond in particular ways.

Behavioral interviewing is a best practice. Ask the candidate to relate her history to a particular situation. For example, "Tell me about a time when you had to deal with a crying baby. What did you do? How did you feel?" Evaluate her experiences and responses against your requirements. Ask questions that will reveal a candidate’s proficiency in decision making and problem solving, motivation, integrity, communication, interpersonal skills, high tolerance for repetitive activities, dependability, and planning and organization.

The following are some suggested questions to help you organize your interview with prospective nannies. Review the questions, personalize or edit for your family's needs, and then keep a record of answers on a per-candidate basis. Remember, a good personality and philosophical match are imperative to selecting the best nanny for your family.

GENERAL NANNY INTERVIEW QUESTIONS • Why are you interested in this job? Look for thoughtful answers. • What appeals to you about taking care of children in the family’s home (vs. a day care center or your home)? • What do you think the difference is between a babysitter and a nanny? • Describe your last childcare experience and why it ended. • What was your worst experience in childcare and how did you resolve it? • How were you disciplined as a child? What would you do differently with your own children? • What do you find to be the most challenging (or interesting) part of working with children? • Can you summarize your child rearing philosophy? • What is your view on nutrition for children? • What is your general philosophy on etiquette for children? • What is your basic philosophy on discipline? • What is your opinion on spanking? • How do you feel about imaginative play that includes the use of toy guns as props? • What are your thoughts about masturbation? How would you handle it if you noticed that my (insert age) year old was masturbating? • What would you do if my child bit another child? What would you do if my child bit you? • What would you do if my child hit or hurt another child? What would you do if my child hit or hurt you? • How would you handle it if my child lied to you? • What are your thoughts on sunscreen and protection from the sun for children? • Can you tell me a time when you felt like you lost motivation in a job? • Can you tell me about the most difficult child/family/parent you worked with? • Have you ever had to handle an emergency? If so, what happened and what action did you take? • What additional household responsibilities are you comfortable taking on as a nanny? i.e. meal prep, laundry, cleaning, setting up appointments, pet care, etc. • Tell me about your childhood and your current relationship with your family. • What do you like to do in your free time? • What television shows do you enjoy watching? • How do you think your closest friends would describe you and your personality? • How are you at voicing your concerns about unexpected issues that may arise? Are you comfortable bringing up issues with your employers? • How have you responded when a former boss has brought up unexpected issues with you? • Can you give me some examples of unexpected issues that have come up in your previous jobs and how you and your former boss(es) worked things out? • How would you feel if I brought up an issue with the children and I felt very strongly that I wanted it handled a certain way? In other words, if I couldn't see a way to compromise on an issue, do you think you could work with that? • Would you be willing to sign a confidentiality clause? What does confidentiality mean to you? • If you have guns in your household ask - Are you comfortable working in a household with guns? Do you know gun safety and are you able to shoot? If not, do you want to learn? • If you work at home, ask - Have you ever worked for parents who work at home? Are you comfortable with that? What pros and cons do you see working for WAH parents? • Confirm your non-negotiable requirements. Do you have a current driver's license? Are you willing to travel with our family? Are you able to do occasional overnights with notice?

CORE COMPETENCIES • Verify current CPR and Infant/Child First Aid certifications • Crib safety, diapering, and bottle feeding if applicable. • Address safety concerns such as car seat installation (how and where) and helmet use (scooters, bikes, skiing, etc.) • Grasp of nutrition guidelines specific to your child and age. For example, no tree nut products or dairy products in the first year, formula or breast milk through age one, care with raisins, grapes, and cut food to avoid choking hazards. • Familiar with 911 or similar emergency aids. Communication skills adequate to work with emergency personnel.

FOR CHILDREN FROM BIRTH TO 2 YEARS, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: • How do you handle a crying baby? How do you feel when dealing with a crying baby? • What do you see as your primary responsibility to a child this age? • What activities would you engage in with a child this age? • How long do you think a baby should be left to cry? • How long do you think a newborn should be left before being fed? • How long do you think a newborn should be held? • What about rocking to sleep? • What methods do you like to use to help a baby learn to sleep through the night? • Do you know baby massage? baby sign? • How would you handle a temper tantrum in a grocery store? In our home? • What is your philosophy on letting children explore their surroundings? • How have you communicated information about the child's day to day activities to your employers in the past?

NOTE: Many experienced nannies may answer some of these questions with a question of their own, seeking to find out your own feelings about some of these topics. This is normal, since there are a wide variety of acceptable responses and one’s feelings are subjective. An experienced nanny has likely worked with families with different childrearing philosophies and is adept at molding her behavior to agree with your family’s philosophies.

FOR 2 TO 3 YEAR OLDS, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: • How would you handle a temper tantrum in a grocery store? In our home? • How do you feel toilet training should be approached? • What role should outdoor play and interaction with other toddlers have in a child’s day? • What types of educational activities would you engage a child this age in? • What indoor activities would you engage a child this age in? • What types of meals and snacks do you offer to a child this age?

FOR 3-5 YEAR OLDS, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: • What methods of limit setting or discipline do you find effective for this age? • What television shows do you feel are appropriate for this age child? • What are your thoughts about computer games and electronic entertainment? • Are you willing to supervise play time with other children in our home and/or take our child to gymnastics/activity groups which may or may not require your active participation? • During the hours my children are in school, what do you consider your role and responsibilities to be? (Be prepared to define YOUR expectations of her role and responsibilities. It is reasonable to request other domestic duties such as laundry, prepping the dinner meal, light housework [define!], grocery shopping, errands, etc. so long as it is mutually understood and agreeable.)

FOR CHILDREN AGES 5 AND UP, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: • What are your feelings about outdoor play without direct supervision (i.e., the child is outside and the caregiver is in the house with a younger child)? • Are you comfortable reviewing and assisting with homework? • Are you willing to supervise friends of our child who are invited to our home while you are in charge? • What are your thoughts about computer games and electronic entertainment? • When children are in school, how many extra-curricular activities per week do you think is appropriate for them? What kinds of activities would you suggest for different age groups?

During the hours my children are in school, what do you consider your role and responsibilities to be? (Be prepared to define YOUR expectations of her role and responsibilities. It is reasonable to request other domestic duties such as household laundry, prepping the dinner meal, light housework [define!], grocery shopping, errands, etc. so long as it is mutually understood and agreeable. Most nannies are uncomfortable assuming responsibility for either the parents’ personal laundry or maid services.) • Final Question: Why are you interested in this job? (Asked again at the end. The nanny now knows details about the job and family and if she is still interested, she can really make her best case at this point.)

FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS You might find that you want to know more than the candidate volunteered. Some useful follow-up questions include: • What steps did you take? • What happened after that? • What did you say? • How did he/she react? • What was your reaction? • How did you feel about that? • What do you wish you had done differently? • What did you learn from that? • What were you thinking at that point? • Why? • How? • When? • Where?

EVALUATE LOGISTICS • For the live-in applicant: o has she ever lived away from home before? o Is she mature enough for the relocation? o Does her family support her (if a younger candidate)? • For the live-out applicant: o Does she have a reasonable, reliable means of transportation to your home daily?

COMMON INTERVIEWING MISTAKES

Many families have little or no practical experience in interviewing prospective employees. Add in the anxiety of interviewing the person you may be leaving your precious children with, and you have a recipe of mistakes and missed opportunities. Try to avoid these common interviewing mistakes:

• Failure to establish rapport with the prospective nanny. "Small talk" that establishes some commonality between the interviewer (family) and interviewee (nanny candidate) is a vital starting point. When this is missing, there is never common ground established and the interview never really gets off the ground. • Interviewer doesn't really know what information is needed. In these situations, the interviewer may not have thought through position details and doesn't know what questions to ask the applicant. • Making assumptions about skills or experience. An applicant who ‘nannied’ for a two year old may never have been involved with potty training for example. • Interviewer mistakes the candidate’s nerves for lack of ability. The interviewer fails to compare the nanny candidate's demonstrated abilities and experiences with the actual job requirements. • Not listening or remaining silent long enough. When you talk too much you lose the opportunity to obtain meaningful information from the job applicant. Make sure you have the candidate speaking more than you are! • Not asking the right or enough questions. Good interviewing moves from broad, general questions to much more specific, perhaps even close ended questions. Using close ended questions (yes/no) too early causes the interviewer to miss out on important hiring information. • Making decisions based too heavily on intuition. Intuition can be a powerful interview tool; however it can blind the interviewer to good candidates who are different from the perceived 'optimum.' • Comparing the applicant's life to one's own life. This wastes interview time and fails to elicit important information. • "Leading the witness" or asking judgmental or leading questions. All this accomplishes is clueing the nanny candidate in to the answer you want to hear.

MAKING A NANNY EMPLOYMENT OFFER

A nanny employment offer should be made both verbally and in writing (an email is fine). The verbal offer allows you to quickly assess whether the candidate is still interested, as well as providing the candidate with a sense of your excitement to be moving forward with HER. The job offer should include details about wages, benefits, start date and a statement that it is contingent on the candidate’s background screening and reference checking.

GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS REGARDING NANNY WAGES AND BENEFITS

A nanny's wages/salary can vary considerably; some factors that can affect the wages a family will need to pay include:

• The number of hours care is needed each week. A full time nanny will typically average 45 hours per week. Longer scheduled days will require additional compensation. If the work week is expected to be greater than 55 hours per week, the family is advised to split the job between two employees. • Geographic region of the country. The highest salaries are paid in major metro markets such as Boston, New York, Washington, Atlanta, San Francisco and Seattle. • Whether position is live-in or live-out (in some areas a live-in nanny's salary is less; in other parts of the country there is little or no difference). • The nanny's experience level. • The number of children and the job responsibilities. • Benefits, such as health insurance. • Whether nanny will need to use her personal vehicle to provide transportation for your family.

Nannies are to be paid on an hourly basis according to the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) and when live-out overtime pay is due for hours over 40 worked in the seven-day work week. Generally a nanny will agree to a fixed weekly wage for a specified number of hours, with overtime to be paid for hours outside the agreed work week. It is important to translate this in the written agreement to the appropriate hourly and overtime rates. NOTE: Several states make live-in nannies eligible for overtime – check here for the rules that apply to your situation.

Avoid misunderstandings! Be clear whether your wage offer is stated as a gross wage (strongly encouraged) or net (take home amount) and state what deductions, if any, will be made from the offered salary. Always break the wage down to an hourly rate that includes regular and overtime compensation. Legally, nannies are HOURLY employees. HomeWork Solutions has a free hourly rate calculator available that will convert a weekly salary into the applicable hourly rate. If offering a net wage, be very specific as to whether you are paying US Social Security/Medicare taxes ONLY for the employee (s/he is responsible for US Federal and state income taxes) or whether the net includes your being responsible for all nanny income taxes also. You may wish to consult a nanny tax advisor for guidance in these areas. Additionally, nannies are subject to Federal (and generally state) minimum wage rules.

The following are some general weekly wage guidelines assuming a 45-50 hour work week and one or two children. All figures are in US dollars and representative of Year 2013 wages:

• 18 - 20 years old, or less than 2 years verifiable child care experience - $375-$500 live-in; $10.00-12.00 hour live-out. (7/2009 Fed. Minimum wage = $7.25/hr) • 21 years or older, 2 or more years verifiable child care experience, no prior nanny experience (note that college education puts you to the higher end of the salary range) - $400-$600 live-in; $12-18 hour live-out. • Two or more years of nanny experience, and/or a college degree in a child related field - $500-800 live-in; $12-20 hour live-out, higher in major metro markets. • Part Time Nannies: Stable part time nannies are hard to find and these jobs command a premium wage. These positions are almost exclusively live-out. Often there is a weekly wage guarantee, needed to retain dependable help. Hourly rates start at $12 per hour and are as high as $20 - 25 per hour in affluent areas such as the San Francisco Bay Area, Westchester (NY), Fairfield (CT) and Montgomery (MD) Counties. We have observed that affluent areas not well served by public transportation have the highest prevailing hourly wage.

These figures are just guidelines, local job market and specific employment conditions cause considerable variation. Specifically, in California (Bay area & Silicon Valley), DC Metro, greater Boston, and the NY/NJ/CT metroplex salaries are quite a bit higher than national averages. Be aware that these are "gross wage" figures, before payroll taxes have been deducted.

You can use the payroll tax calculator at HomeWork Solutions Inc, a nanny payroll and tax service, to compute take home pay and, if desired, print pay stubs.

{FREE} Resource: "Payroll Tax Calculator" >>

THE COMPENSATION PACKAGE

THE BASICS: WAGE & BENEFITS

The nanny will typically expect to be paid either every week or every other week. A full time nanny will expect to be paid her regular base wage for 52 weeks a year, even if the family takes additional holidays without her. Families can pay the nanny in cash, personal check, or using a payroll service with Direct Deposit. The nanny's paycheck should NEVER be delayed or forgotten.

A typical nanny or housekeeper/household manager compensation package today is not limited to her pay check. Many household employees ask for and receive the following:

• Paid Time Off (PTO): (typically 5 - 15 days paid, some scheduling at family's discretion). • Health insurance (typically 50% paid by family for first year, often fully paid after first year). • Reimbursement for mileage is required if nanny is required to use her personal automobile to transport children. • Six or more Federal holidays paid (New Years, Memorial Day, July 4, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas always). Spell them out in the work agreement! • Annual performance and wage reviews.

Often the nanny compensation package offers a single bank of Flex Days or PTO days in lieu of separate banks of paid vacation and sick days. The Flex Days are paid days to be used at the nanny's discretion. A standard offer is 10 - 15 days for a full time worker, and they can cover sick days, personal days, and vacation (pre-scheduled according to your agreement).

Another area which is often misunderstood involves payment for days not worked. Your nanny will expect to be paid for all days she is prepared to work, even if you decide to take your family away for a portion or all of any given week. When a moveable holiday like July 4th falls on a weekend, it is observed on Friday if it is on a Saturday, and on Monday when it is on a Sunday. Spell out the details in the Work Agreement regarding how you will handle holidays and regularly scheduled days which are not worked at your request.

BONUSES

Some families offer their nanny an incentive payment after the first (and subsequent) year's employment – variations include a holiday/year-end bonus, a bonus for signing on for an additional period of time (not necessarily another year - sometimes six month stretches) or contributions towards continuing education such as a nanny/childcare professional conference or evening or weekend classes at a local community college. Bonuses are typically calculated as one to two weeks base pay.

Other incentives may include health club membership, airfare home, and payment for all or part of health insurance premiums. Remember, most bonuses and non-cash compensation are taxable income to the employee and should be reported as such. Health insurance premium support may qualify the family for special tax advantages.

OVERTIME

The Fair Labor Standards Act requires that all domestics be paid for all hours of work at the agreed hourly rate. Nannies and other household workers who do not reside with their employer ("live out" or "come and go") are entitled to an overtime differential calculated as 1.5 times their hourly rate for all hours over 40 in a work week.

Domestics who live-in with the employer must be compensated for every hour of work, but the time and a half rule does not apply under Federal law. (Note: in some states, the overtime differential applies to live-in nannies as well.)

The FLSA also requires that nanny wages meet minimum wage tests. It is a best practice to always state the nanny’s wage in rate-per-hour terms to avoid misunderstandings. The reality is that very few families will find a competent, reliable nanny willing to work at the minimum wage.

PAY DAYS

The Work Agreement should specify the frequency of pay days - each Friday, etc. and you should be prepared to pay your employee early if you will not be home on pay day or if you and your family will be out of town on the scheduled pay date. A nanny payroll service such as HomeWork Solutions can simplify this for busy families.

EXPENSES

The nanny who is required to provide transportation for your child in her vehicle must be reimbursed for her mileage. This is not purchasing a tank of gas, but rather providing true mileage reimbursement to allow the nanny to recover the cost of gas, wear and tear, maintenance, and depreciation of her vehicle. The IRS sets a business mileage reimbursement rate on an annual basis. In general, if the nanny is driving while she is “on the clock” for you, the mileage and any tolls are reimbursed. Expense reimbursement is NOT considered wages subject to employment taxes.

The nanny may have other out of pocket expenses that she incurs in the course of her job. This can be picking up bread and milk at the grocery, cab fare, providing the child with school activity fee money, or entertainment such as movies or a McDonald's lunch. Most families find that a 'petty cash' fund of $50 - $100 that is replenished by the family regularly works well. The nanny should be required to provide documentation of all expenses - the grocery receipt or just a log of expenses. Family and nanny should discuss in advance expenses the family is comfortable with (a weekly lunch out may be one) and expenses they wish to approve in advance ($50 Circus tickets may be an example). If nanny pays for family expenses from her personal funds, she should be promptly reimbursed by the family.

ANNUAL PERFORMANCE REVIEWS

Reviews and the opportunity for increases in compensation provide an incentive for a nanny to continue to strive to do his or her best. Families are advised to consider their ability to set a schedule for review and salary adjustment and let the employee know when he or she can expect to be considered for an increase in compensation. The nanny should expect at a minimum an annual review. Salary increases for good performance average 3 - 5% annually. The outstanding employee may merit a greater increase or a bonus in addition to an increase. Of course, if the nanny is not meeting your expectations, please don't wait a year to address the

problems. If the family maintains good open lines of communication with their nanny, performance problems will either go away or the family will replace the nanny. Poor communication between the adults is a common cause of nanny turnover.

Families go to considerable effort to secure a quality caregiver - make sure that the employee knows how much the family values him or her and want to keep them!

VETTING THE NANNY

Once a nanny candidate has been offered and accepted a conditional offer of employment, the family must verify the information collected during the interview process.

BACKGROUND CHECKS

The background check should be ordered simultaneously with the beginning of the reference check process to avoid delays. The law states that a candidate must be offered and have accepted a conditional offer of employment before you order this search.

Legally you must have your candidate’s signed consent to conduct a pre-employment background check. If the candidate refuses to sign the consent or provide her SSN, DMV license number, and/or date of birth, move on immediately.

{FREE} Download: HomeWork Solutions’ Background Release Form >>

At a minimum you will want to do a SSN trace which will provide you all known names and addresses associated with this candidate over the prior 7 years. Compare these results with the information provided in the job application. You will also want to perform criminal records searches in all jurisdictions the candidate has lived in over the last 7 years. A DMV search may be warranted, especially if you will have the nanny drive the children.

{FREE} Related Reading: "Background Screening FAQs" >>

RECOMMENDED BACKGROUND CHECKS:

1. SSN Trace 2. Criminal Records Search 3. DMV Search 4. Sex Offender Registry Search 5. National Criminal Records Database Search

HomeWork Solutions partners with a professional, nationwide pre-employment screening organization, and these background checks may be ordered online. Recommended Resource: "Order Your Easy & Affordable Background Check" >>

REFERENCE CHECKS

Careful attention must be paid to reference checking. Personally contact all references. This is an opportunity to verify previously supplied information and also gain some insight into how this nanny interacted and performed on previous jobs. Younger candidates may not have previous employment references. References from teachers, community leaders such as Girl Scout or 4H leaders and clergy are encouraged. Families using the services of a professional nanny referral agency are advised to check the candidate's references themselves, even though the agent has already done so.

Follow up all written references with a telephone call if possible, or meet the person informally to chat over coffee. References may be reluctant to admit their concerns on paper, but will sometimes share them 'off the record'.

FAKE REFERENCES

Because nannies work in private homes, they have an easier time 'faking' references than applicants with former business employment. The nanny applicant may arrange with a relative or friend to pose as a former boss. The applicant provides a telephone number or other contact information, and when the hiring family contacts this person, s/he receives a glowing report about the applicant. How can this be detected?

Fake references have been briefed by the applicant, but they are typically not very good at their job. Change minor details of the nanny applicant's story when talking to references and expect to be corrected. You might change the location of the job (Q: You are the family in Newton, right? A: No, we are in Chestnut Hill), the ages or sex of the children. If the reference doesn't tell a story that agrees with the applicant's, this is a huge red flag. Reverse telephone directory look ups can be helpful, although increasingly these phone numbers are unlisted cell phones.

When talking to a nanny's references, try to obtain a third party or 'wild card' reference. This would be someone else known by both the reference and the candidate who you may use as an additional reference. Third party references are invaluable, as they have most likely not been cherry-picked by the candidate and have not been briefed on the reference check ahead of time.

THE WORKING INTERVIEW

This should be at a time when you and the children are both present. Allow the applicant to observe your typical family rhythms, patterns, and interactions. Allow some time for the applicant to interact with the children independently (you observe). Pay the applicant for her time. Many a hiring mistake has been avoided by using this technique.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS Don't worry that your spouse or coworker might think you are paranoid. If your gut says there is something wrong, move on to other candidates.

NANNY HIRED! WRAPPING UP THE DETAILS

THE WORK AGREEMENT

Every family should take the time to write a work agreement. The family should include a brief offer letter that states that the job offer is contingent on successful reference checks and a background check. Families sometimes offer employment subject to a trial or probationary period. This should be clearly stated in the offer letter if it applies.

The written work agreement should include the following:

• Start Date. • Weekly schedule. • General job responsibilities, both childcare related and housekeeping, if required. • Salary offered, stated as an HOURLY wage with a weekly guarantee. This is very important. Most nannies work for a weekly salary that covers more than 40 hours. It is important to translate this to an hourly rate to protect the family from Wage and Hour Disputes should the relationship not work out. HomeWork Solutions' Hourly Wage Calculator will do this conversion for you. • Benefits offered, if any. • Paid Time Off policy, if any. Specify any paid holidays such as Labor Day, Christmas, etc. with a statement on how you will handle holidays that fall on a regularly scheduled day off. • Expense Reimbursement Policy. Nannies who transport your children with their personal vehicle will expect mileage reimbursement at the current IRS mileage reimbursement rate. You must require documentation from the nanny of the expenses to be reimbursed. • Confidentiality Agreement. • Return of Family Property Agreement. • Live in positions should stipulate accommodations offered, house rules if any, and a general agreement about personal use of any household assets such as automobiles.

{FREE} Related Reading: "Why EVERY Nanny Needs a Work Agreement" >>

CONFIDENTIALITY

Don’t overlook this important note in your employment agreement! Now is the time to discuss confidentiality expectations with your prospective employee.

{FREE} Related Reading: "Confidentiality Agreement and Household Employment" >>

ORIENTING THE NEW NANNY

Families find that a little preparation and a few hours of orientation of the new nanny greatly improve the comfort level of both the nanny and family.

• Put in some face-time: Experts recommend that the parents (or at least one of you) spend a minimum of 4 hours with the nanny and the children in a typical day BEFORE leaving her on her own. This gives the nanny the opportunity to ask questions, become familiar with the routine, and communicate concerns to the parent(s). Parents can use this time to become comfortable with the nanny's judgment and observe her interaction with the child(ren). • Do a home safety check with the nanny: Safety checks should be done before leaving the nanny in the home. Clearly spell out known hazards (your 7 year old's Legos are a risk to your toddler) and the storage of medicines and household chemicals. Consider placing poisons in a locked cabinet, a good idea anyway. Make nanny aware of any firearms in the home and follow recommended safety procedures to separately store and secure the firearm and ammunition. • Introduce the nanny to all relevant home appliances: Home alarm system, washer and dryer, pool filter, and any other mechanical items they need to be familiar with. Don't assume she knows how these things operate. Go over the way your home "operates" - the lock on the back door that sticks unless you remember to first lift the latch, the housecleaning company that has a key to your house and let themselves in each Monday morning, etc . {FREE} Related Reading: “General Household Information Form for a Nanny” >> • Neighborhood Introductions: Introduce the nanny to your next-door neighbors, building manager and other individuals who the nanny may need to call upon in an emergency. This is also helpful in establishing his/her ties to your family/neighborhood - the nanny will begin to feel part of your neighborhood/community when people recognize her while she is with the children, etc. and she won't feel as much like a stranger. Don't be afraid to ask the neighbor for feedback - positive and negative. • Addressing Emergency Procedures: Discuss, ahead of time, how you want illnesses and emergencies handled. Do you want to be contacted before the children's doctor in the case of a medical emergency? If the nanny feels your son's forehead and believing he is warm, takes his temperature, do you want to be contacted before any medication is dispensed? Are there standing orders which you want the nanny to follow as to who to contact first and if no answer, what or whom to contact next? Make sure the nanny has an emergency contacts list, and keep it up to date. {FREE} Related Reading: “Nanny Emergency Contacts Form” >> • Check in a few times unexpectedly. This is not a sign of distrust, but rather another opportunity to observe the nanny's performance, unrehearsed. Take a few minutes to "catch her being good" and acknowledge it!

LEARNING YOUR NEW ROLE AS AN EMPLOYER

When you hire a nanny, it is important to remember that you are taking on a new role, that of a household employer. Your employee can expect the following from you:

OPEN COMMUNICATION

Set your new employee up for success. Explain clearly and carefully your wishes and expectations about how your child will be cared for. Give the nanny information about your child's routine activities and preferences, and provide updates on problems and progress that your child is making. Good communication helps parents and nannies work together in the best interest of children.

Remove all doubt or uncertainty. Once you have discussed and agreed to the terms of the nanny arrangement, write them down. A written work agreement between the nanny and parents is usually helpful for both parties. Get started with HomeWork Solutions’ Sample Work Agreement.

{FREE} Related Reading: “The Nanny Work Agreement” Tip Sheet >>

ACCESSIBILITY

Your nanny should be given information on how to contact you at all times while your child is in her care. Your nanny should know that it is alright to contact you and should be encouraged to contact you at any time about problems or concerns with your child. If one parent wants to be the 'primary' contact, make this very clear to the nanny.

HONESTY AND TRUST

This includes being honest about how you believe the arrangement is working. Is your child happy with the nanny and are you? Although you need to be vigilant in order to safeguard your child, you should still trust your nanny to do the best for your child. Show your trust by asking questions rather than jumping to conclusions when possible problems develop.

ADVANCE NOTICE OF AND AGREEMENT TO ANY CHANGES

Nannies deserve advance notice if you are going to stop using their services, take a vacation, change hours, etc. If you want the nanny to start arriving early and feeding your child breakfast, this change should be discussed and agreed to and an adjustment should be made in the rate of pay. If you expect two or four weeks notice if the nanny can no longer care for your child, you owe the nanny similar notice, or pay in lieu of this notice.

PUNCTUALITY AND RELIABILITY

Nannies should be able to count on you to arrive home and relieve her of duty at the agreed upon time. If it actually takes you 15 minutes longer to get home than you expected, then you need to work out a new agreement with the nanny or find a way to abide by the original one. Make sure your nanny has an adequate supply of diapers, formula and other supplies. Replenish before they are needed, so the nanny is never caught short.

SICK, HUNGRY, OR OVERLY TIRED KIDS?

Agree with your nanny in advance about the care of a sick child. Most nannies will agree to care for your sick child. However, some circumstances simply scream for 'Mom and Dad' - fevers over 101 or a miserable stomach bug for example. Be sensitive to your child's and nanny's needs in these situations. If you must go to work, try to return early, or go in later to comfort the child and give the nanny a much needed respite. Communicate if you find your nanny will have to cope with a child who has not had breakfast or who went to bed four hours late the night before.

PAYMENT ON TIME

Nannies are your employees, so make arrangements so they can get their pay on time. Many parents find that a payroll service such as HomeWork Solutions (HomeWorkSolutions.com) eliminates this issue, most especially when the parent who handles payroll is away on business or the family is on vacation. A paycheck should NEVER be delayed.

RESPECT

Realize that taking care of children is a job and the nanny is often a working parent just as you are. Recognize also that this is not an easy job. A good nanny is not just a baby-sitter. She has considerable professional and emotional investment in the well-being of the children she cares for. A nanny will often notice physical, emotional or developmental differences before the parents, as your children benefit from her experience working with other children. She is one of the most important people in your child's life and in yours, too.

ACCEPTANCE & UNDERSTANDING

Inviting a caregiver into your home also means you are inviting them into your family. Try not to be jealous of your child's attachment to the nanny. Children who spend hours every day with a nanny who is an attentive caregiver will come to love that person. That love doesn't diminish the love the child feels for you. Don't feel that you have to compete with your nanny for your child's affection.

NO SURPRISES

Your nanny shouldn't learn on Friday that you have decided to take next week off work and don't intend to pay her. Payment for scheduled days that you don't need your nanny should be addressed up front, in your work agreement. In general, a nanny should be paid for every day she is normally scheduled to work (reserved time for your family), is able to work, and you decide she is not needed that day(s). Your family’s nanny should have ample notice of changes that will affect her job, such a changes in the hours you wish her to work or your plans to adopt a new puppy who is not housebroken. Nannies don't like surprises any more than parents do.

QUIZ: WHAT KIND OF EMPLOYER ARE YOU?

Several years ago a nanny emailed HomeWork Solutions’ the following true/false “Family Quiz.” We were impressed by the thought that went into the quiz and wanted to share this nanny's perspective with other families.

I sometimes get so busy that I am late returning home, forget appointments, and True/False sometimes have to adjust my schedule. But that's understandable. Still, I expect my nanny to arrive on time and keep the household running consistently on schedule.

It's best for nannies to concentrate on their own duties. They don't need to know True/False what I am doing or what my spouse is working on.

Our household is run on the guiding strategy of providing a safe, nurturing and True/False secure environment for our child(ren). I expect everyone - from my spouse to our nanny - to evaluate and make decisions based on these tenants.

Step-by-step instruction is the best way to make sure the job gets done right. True/False

It's important for me to know exactly what our nanny is working on at any given True/False time.

I encourage our nanny to come to me with activity suggestions and share True/False questions/concerns. I often have experiences and access to information that she doesn't know about.

Paying the nanny well is the best way to motivate her. True/False

It's okay for a nanny to make decisions about play dates and schedules as she sees True/False in the best interest of our child(ren).

It's crucial that the nanny have one parent to approach for various decisions. True/False

I enjoy taking a break and getting away from the office and household. I can relax True/False on business trips and personal vacations confident that our nanny knows how to handle things while I'm gone.

If our nanny is always late, I'm not likely to say anything until one day when I blow True/False up without warning.

When I ask our nanny to do something unusual, such as help our child with her True/False spelling or work overtime, I explain why this is necessary.

I know what's best for my child. It's my responsibility to share what I know with True/False our nanny and direct her activities.

If our nanny misses our child's dentist appointment or they are late for his tutor, True/False it's only natural that I lose my temper when I next see her. That's a good way to keep her on her toes.

Compare your test results >>

MONITORING PERFORMANCE

There are many different ways to determine how well your nanny is performing her responsibilities. The following are some of the older, "informal" methods of assessing employee performance on the job, as well as some additional suggestions for getting the relationship off to a good start right from the beginning.

FEEDBACK FROM YOUR CHILDREN

Inevitably there will be ups and downs, but listen to your children and give them the opportunity, without interrogating them, to let you know how they feel about their nanny. Your understanding and support will help the nanny to help the children.

If your children are older, ask them what they did during the day and listen for clues that do not sound like "your child". If, however, your older children are in school and the nanny cares for an infant while they are not at home, or if your child is an infant or toddler, this gauge may not be available.

Plan some quiet time with your children on a regular basis. Let them know that they can share their feelings with you. Your children need to know that you trust their nanny. They also need to know you will listen to them and will take action if necessary.

DIRECT INTERACTION WITH NANNY

When feedback from your children is not available, plan for ways in which you will be able to observe or at least receive regular feedback on what went on during the day. Plan some time where you are able to observe the nanny and your child interacting - either at the beginning or the end of the day. If your job permits, stop in during the day, just to say hi. Have the nanny bring your child to meet you for lunch. Call home to see how things are going, or arrange for your nanny to call you at certain time(s) each day.

Regular phone contact during the day (provided you can arrange this) can strengthen your relationship with your nanny - you will have a better idea of what things are on her mind and she will become more comfortable communicating with you. Be sensitive to boundaries; the phone calls should be informational in nature, not an attempt to micromanage the nanny's day.

NANNY CAM

One increasingly prevalent "formal method" of monitoring performance is the use of video surveillance, popularly known as “nanny cams,” while you are out of your home and the nanny is caring for your children. Video surveillance is controversial and in some locations legally regulated; therefore, you may want to first discuss this method of monitoring performance in greater detail with the company that would be installing the equipment and/or an attorney. If you believe you might want to use a nanny cam, this should also be discussed with the candidates during an interview. The parent | nanny relationship is based on trust, and many nannies react to 'secret' videotaping as evidence that the parents have lost trust in the nanny. This can destroy an otherwise satisfactory relationship if not addressed in advance.

When evaluating nanny’s performance, consider that there is usually more than one way to get a task accomplished. Nanny’s way may not be identical to yours, and in certain circumstances a compromise may be in order. Most employers are not perfect, so consider this when you are assessing your employee.

ENCOURAGING COMMUNICATION:

THE NANNY LOG

As a practical matter, you may find it difficult to remember or find the time to tell your childcare provider everything that you want them to know on a day-to-day basis. You may just barely pass each other in the morning and again at night.

One option is to purchase a notebook or DayTimer type organizer. You can write your childcare provider a "daily note" which tells her things she needs to know for that particular day. Pediatrician appointments, preschool events, play dates and such items can be jotted down for future reference. The nanny can also use this same book to let you know how the day went - when your child slept, ate, was bathed, took medication, etc. Some families and nannies use shared electronic calendars for this purpose, such as Google Calendars. Use of a book (Often referred to as a Nanny Log) or a calendar tool to communicate should only be used for delivering very factual type information, not problems you are having with your childcare provider. Issues of concern should be handled face to face and where your children can not overhear you, if at all possible.

{FREE} Related Reading: “Sample Nanny Log” >>

SCHEDULE REGULAR DISCUSSION TIME

Don't wait for the need to arise. These meetings will create a regular opportunity for each party to raise any concerns they have - primarily childcare related, but other related issues as need arises. If possible, plan to have these meetings when the children are not within hearing distance and are preferably otherwise occupied, perhaps with friends, etc. As your children get older and more of what you say no longer "goes over their head", finding a place to speak out of earshot may become more of a challenge, but it is important that you are both able to say what is on your mind without risking that the children will overhear.

These meetings should be held often enough that they become a relaxed method of communication which occurs in a positive environment. A suggested schedule is weekly for the first few weeks, moving to monthly as the relationship becomes more established. Make sure your nanny knows that you are available to discuss something that comes up between meetings on an as necessary basis. Scheduling one more thing in an already hectic day may seem overwhelming, but the results can be well worth the effort - a more rewarding relationship for your child; which translates to a smoother running household and less stress for you in your day to day life.

Any change to the nanny’s scope of duties or hours of work should be discussed in person. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. ALWAYS remember that if you add hours your must pay for these additional hours, and live out nannies are legally entitled to overtime pay for hours over 40 in a work week.

KEEP PRIVATE PROBLEMS – PRIVATE

Once intimate details regarding your personal life (including, but not limited to your financial affairs) become known, it can be difficult to maintain a professional relationship. Rule of thumb: only discuss those things that, if they are to be repeated to your neighbors, would not be a cause for embarrassment.

Discuss any issues or concerns you have directly with the nanny, and not through your children. Children have an uncanny ability to hear most everything that we don't want them to hear, and they will invariably repeat the conversation overheard between Mommy to Daddy to their nanny the next day. Your nanny should not hear second-hand from your child that Mommy and Daddy are displeased about any performance issue. Or worse yet, your child may put their own "spin" on the conversation, changing it’s meaning altogether and creating more issues to be discussed: the real one and your child's version.

Hold in confidence all conversations between you and the nanny. Families should make it a practice not to discuss their nanny's habits, idiosyncrasies or flaws with anyone else. You are likely to be privy to various aspects of the nanny's life which you would otherwise be unaware of, especially when you employ a live-in nanny. Provided that these facts do not impact the care of your children or the conditions under which you hired the individual, the nanny should be afforded the same privacy to maintain his or her own personal life as you would expect to receive in similar circumstances.

Treat your nanny as an adult professional. When hiring a nanny, it is helpful to establish this basis of the relationship from the beginning - make it clear to each applicant that you are looking to hire an adult -not an older child who still needs to be reminded to get up on time for work, and not an individual who wants to live like a guest in her own home - never picking up after herself or offering, for example, to help bring in the groceries.

Use the Work Agreement as a communication tool. The importance of this written agreement cannot be overstated; however, just having an agreement will not, by itself, accomplish the desired purpose. If disagreements occur between you and the nanny, often a review of the agreement will clarify each party's duty and responsibility. It is easy for time to dim the memory of both the family and the nanny, so a review of this agreement at the end of the first month and again after six months (coinciding, perhaps, with a salary review) can be very useful. It can also be helpful to let the nanny know up front that you are planning on doing this. Advance knowledge of your intentions, prior to the existence of any issues in particular, can make the scheduling of such a meeting more relaxed and place the nanny in a less defensive posture.

PARENT WORKING FROM HOME? TIPS FOR SUCCESS

Many nanny positions involve one or both parents working from the home all or part of the time. This complicates the nanny/family relationship in a myriad of ways. Nanny and family need to carefully evaluate each other, as well as the physical and emotional landscape, to craft a successful working partnership.

Start off on the best footing.

CLEAR EXPECTATIONS

The parents hire nanny to do a job. But what are your expectations as the WAHP? Do you work at home every day, certain days of the week, or on a more informal schedule? How do you envision your daily schedule? Interview carefully. Discuss and agree to boundaries and ground rules up front. This will be unique to the parent/nanny and situation.

ESTABLISH PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES

Is your home office close to or removed from the areas of the home used by the nanny and child? You have probably already guessed that removed is best, but often a parent will use a spare bedroom - perhaps right next to the baby's room. The infant is only aware of the caregiver right in front of him so Mom or Dad's physical proximity is not an issue. Out of sight, out of mind so to speak. The toddler however is a different story. Experts recommend:

• Keep good byes short and sweet and keep to a schedule. The child will quickly learn that Mommy will eat lunch with him daily, or that Daddy will read a short story before nap time. • Have a "Do Not Disturb" system in place for the home office to clue nanny that the WAHP really really, really needs privacy and quiet right now. A sign hanging on the door, a sock on the door knob, you can be creative so long as all parties understand. • Is the house telephone shared with the WAHP? Who answers the phone, how does the WAHP want the phone answered, and how should messages be taken, if at all? It is best that the WAHP use a personal cell phone and not involve nanny at all with any business matter. • The WAHP is encouraged to limit the spontaneous little trips out of the home office and through the play/activity area. The fun game of Candy Land that your pre-schooler and nanny are engaged in will rarely survive the 'quick' visit from daddy to 'see what you are doing.' Consider equipping the home office with a mini-fridge, microwave, and coffee maker.

Many WAHPs choose this life style because it allows you to be physically present and closer to your children, as well as eliminating wasted commuting time. Working with your nanny to set up a schedule that allows you to both spend more time with your child AND accomplish your daily work is not as easy as it sounds - expect some trial and error. Nanny flexibility is key - a nanny who strongly values autonomy and has strong opinions about the daily schedule and routine will not find professional satisfaction in this arrangement.

ACTIVITIES, RULES, AND DEALING WITH TEARS

Children thrive when they have consistent boundaries and rules. Nanny and the WAHP definitely need to thoroughly discuss and agree to parenting styles and reach complete agreement. The WAHP needs to resist the urge to investigate every case of tears or tantrums, as well as the urge to micro manage the nanny. The nanny needs to make a concerted effort to follow every direction of the parent, consistently. If parent uses the blue chair as the 'thinking chair' (time out), nanny needs to follow through accordingly. You may understandably have a hard time disengaging from your children in the beginning. Observe your nanny and acknowledge her demonstrated professionalism and competence. Be patient and carefully consider questions and suggestions. Collaborate with your nanny to find a balance that works for everyone.

Parents, it is important for you to respect that nanny is in charge at appropriate times. A unified front in front of the children is vital to maintaining peace in the household. Just as parents should not let the child play one parent against the other (all children will try this!), parents should not allow the child to play mommy against the nanny. Disagreements about care giving should be handled away from the children. If you disagree with how nanny handles a situation, have the conversation with nanny outside of your children's hearing. Resist the urge to 'correct' nanny or over-ride nanny in front of the children - this makes her job so much harder going forward.

Respect each other, work together and, at the end of the day, you and your children will benefit.

DEVELOP A SCHEDULE

Typically, a caregiver will develop a schedule of activities for the children in their care, including regular meal times, quiet times, activities and naps. A predictable routine is soothing to a child - they quickly learn what to expect and when. A nanny generally will begin work within the framework of a current schedule established by the parents. Children's needs, however, change over time and things like bottle schedules give way to snacks and meals, the morning nap will go away, and the child's level of activity will generally ramp up over time. Crawling gives way to trotting around the kitchen table, and then moves to riding the Big Wheel and climbing, sliding and swinging at the park. Nanny and the WAHP need to stay synchronized on this ever evolving schedule. Often nanny will need to accommodate the WAHP to some extent - if the WAHP can break for lunch at 1 PM, and wishes to share a meal with their children, a nanny will have to work around this, perhaps with a small mid-morning snack to help tide the children over. If the WAHP has scheduled meetings or conference calls, it is best to try to work nap time or a walk around the neighborhood into this time frame. The better nanny and the WAHP can recognize and adjust to each other's needs, the better the long term relationship.

The work day should be clearly defined in the nanny/WAHP relationship. Just because mommy works from home is no excuse for nanny to be late or inconsistent with her arrival time. And conversely, just because nanny is already there is not a reason for the WAHP to add time at the end of the day without prior discussion and agreement. It can be tempting for the nanny to hit the snooze alarm or for the WAHP to spend the extra half hour finishing the report before calling it a day - remember your commitments and obligations!

HANDLING CONFLICTS

Conflicts and disagreement between a nanny and the WAHP are inevitable. The two caregivers (nanny and parent) are bound to step on each other's toes from time to time, just as two parents together will. Whatever the disagreement, these tips will help you resolve them.

ADDRESSING PROBLEMS IN THE EMPLOYMENT RELATIONSHIP

An experienced, well-trained nanny deserves your trust, respect and confidence in her abilities at all times. However, if either your nanny or your children let you know that there are difficulties, it is important that you try to resolve the problem.

In most cases, you should try to help your nanny to address the problem. Good communication skills are important here. Generally, in dealing with any difficulties you should:

• Ask for more information. • Listen to uncover the nature and extent of the problem. • Try to find out if external factors are the cause of, or are aggravating, the problem (e.g. your nanny's mother is ill, your child is worried about starting preschool). • Decide what help you can offer. You cannot solve everything; sometimes an encouraging word and a willingness to listen is all you can do to help nanny deal with the 'terrible twos'. • Check back to see if this resolves the problem.

Sometimes problems will affect the children's well-being. Problems with school work, friendships, and dealing with divorce are not uncommon. When working with the nanny, ask yourself:

• Can the problem be dealt with by the nanny alone? • Can we overcome the problem together? • Can the nanny help the family/children cope with the problem? • Does my family need a nanny with different skills or experience at this time?

Finally, if all attempts to resolve the problem have failed, you are faced with a difficult decision. You can either 'live with' the problem or you will need to replace the nanny. If the situation cannot be resolved, negotiate an end to the work agreement that is minimally disruptive for all parties involved. Communication and good will are vital at this stage. An acknowledgment that everyone has tried their best but the problem persists is recommended; placing blame, by either party, is non-productive and can result in an ugly exchange between nanny and parents, placing your children in the middle.

{FREE} Related Reading: “10 Tips: Why Nannies Quit” >>

If you sense that your children's safety is at risk, make alternative childcare arrangements immediately. Do not leave your nanny in sole charge of your child while you explore the nature of the problem. This will create problems for you and may be hurtful to the nanny, but the children's safety must be the top priority.

UNDERSTANDING WHY NANNIES QUIT

Nannies often become disenchanted with a nanny position when the parents routinely expect the following from their nanny:

• Cleaning the kitchen, dishes, pots and pans from the previous evening's meal. • Pick up and organize children's play areas on Monday mornings that were left clean and neat on Friday afternoon. • Picking up after the parents. • Complete (dry, fold, put away) parents laundry left in the washing machine. • Cleaning up after pets, especially the litter box. • An empty refrigerator. Nanny should not arrive to work to find there is no milk, bread, or other food item that your child expects for meals. • “Deep” cleaning such as would be provided by a maid service.

Families don't like changing nannies for obvious reasons; however, a family frequently sabotages potentially good nanny/family relationships by expecting their employee to be clones of themselves - or, in many cases, someone who can do more than they themselves could accomplish - if they are truly honest with themselves.

Keep in mind that the attributes of a successful nanny are not always the same attributes that you may use to define the successful qualities of a businessperson. For instance, employers of nannies often experience more personal fulfillment when their home and children are noticeably neat and clean at the end of the day. On the other hand, a nanny may abandon good order to spend the day exploring the difference between squares, circles and triangles with your toddler or practicing cutting anything the color "red" out of a magazine with your preschooler. Families tend to be goal oriented and admiring of efficient ways.

Nannies are typically tolerant when children repeatedly make the same mistakes and can often be incredibly intuitive of a child's way (it is not all that uncommon for an experienced nanny to be more knowledgeable in the ways and wiles of children than the child's own parents). It is common and understandable that families will look to hire an individual whom they believe will have traits similar to theirs. It is these almost inherent differences between employers and nannies, however, that goes a long way towards explaining why a family's expectation of a nanny's job priorities and a nanny's expectation of her position's priorities may vary considerably.

To preserve a positive employment relationship, start by looking over the job description:

• Eliminate tasks that even you could not reasonably accomplish. • Consider the ages and corresponding demands of the child/ren. A nanny who cares for one infant who takes morning and afternoon naps should be able to complete basic laundry for the infant and keep the house in the condition that she found it. As the number of children increase and/or the children get older and more mobile, you may be seeing more finger paintings and fewer chores accomplished. • Remember that your nanny’s primary focus is the care of the child. Many families find the best solution to the "care for children" vs. "clean the house" dilemma is a weekly or biweekly maid or cleaning service to handle the heavy cleaning (full vacuuming, dusting, bath and powder rooms, mopping floors, etc). Nanny and family (including the children as they get older) can maintain day to day order; the cleaning service will be in on schedule to handle the rest.

ENDING THE EMPLOYMENT RELATIONSHIP

Very few things in life are forever, so you should be prepared for the fact that even a successful relationship will end at some point.

Some changes are easier than others. Transfers due to a change in your childcare needs or perhaps due to your caregiver's personal plans (upcoming marriage, educational plans, etc.) are one thing, but you may find you have to terminate a caregiver due to unfavorable job performance. Planning for the change and transfer of caregiver will allow you to keep the stress level to a minimum. Take a few moments now to consider the issues that may arise when you need to change caregivers, and you may avoid the worst pitfalls. A good written work agreement will anticipate the termination of the agreement – this is a good time to review mutual obligations regarding notice or pay in lieu of notice, return of family property, confidentiality, etc.

{FREE} Related Reading: “10 Tips: How to Fire a Nanny” >>

LETTING THE NANNY GO

The reasons vary. The children grow up and your beloved family nanny is no longer needed. Perhaps the nanny has horrible work habits - always late or a frequent 'no show.' Your family and the nanny simply may not 'click.' The nanny who was a wonderful nurturer of your infant does not have the energy to deal with your demanding toddler. Whatever the reason, terminating a nanny’s employment can be an uncomfortable experience for both family and nanny.

BE COMPASSIONATE

You may need to discharge the nanny for reasons beyond her control. One of the parents may have lost their job. Perhaps your family is relocating. Your baby may be starting full time kindergarten and your needs have changed. Recognize that this will come as a blow to the nanny. Take the time to show your appreciation by writing a nice letter of recommendation. Provide ample notice to the nanny - if you know your nanny won't be needed in September when school starts, let her know a few months in advance. Provide severance pay. When the separation is planned in advance, offer a retention bonus to the nanny of two to four weeks pay to encourage her to stay with you until the end. Unplanned dismissals for reasons other than the nanny's performance should include at least a week or two of severance pay. Consider providing a small going away gift - framed pictures of the children, a spa treatment, or other expression of appreciation for good and loyal service. Hopefully you have been paying on the books - make sure the nanny knows she can file for unemployment insurance if necessary to tide her over between jobs. Be flexible with the live in nanny as to her 'move out' date if possible.

BE FIRM

The nanny is a disaster. She doesn't show up on time, parks the children in front of the TV all day, and the only food she prepares is PB and J. You have met with her to go over your expectations, brought performance issues to her attention and nothing improves. Generally speaking, families are most comfortable delivering the bad news, effective immediately, with at least a week's severance in lieu of notice (remember your work agreement!). Families don't want to leave their children with a nanny who is disgruntled.

The nanny is worse than a disaster - she is endangering your children. You need to act immediately. Severance is not required under these circumstances. The nanny should return your house keys and be gone immediately, with payment for her last days in hand. This may disrupt your schedule at work for the next few days, but it has to be done.

What about the live in nanny? Family options here vary. For even the most egregious offenses, the nanny needs to sleep some place tonight. Consider getting her a room at a nearby Motel-6 and driving her there with her possessions. If the nanny didn't meet your expectations, consider giving her a bus ticket or plane fare back to family.

{FREE} Related Reading: “10 Tips: How to Fire a Nanny” >>

FINALIZE THE PAPERWORK

Your nanny is your employee. Whatever the reason for the termination, make sure you settle up with any wages due immediately. Review you work agreement and make sure you pay her for any accrued vacation time. The final check should be given to her as she leaves the home.

Update your children's school records so they know the nanny is no longer in your employ. You may need to change the school's emergency phone numbers and the names of individuals authorized to pick up your children from school.

The nanny may file an unemployment insurance claim. You will typically receive a very time sensitive questionnaire from your state Department of Labor collecting information about the termination. Open and deal with this immediately - if you do not respond on time you will lose any rights to appeal benefits charges.

Have you been paying cash off the books? Be very careful. The nanny may still file an unemployment claim and be entitled to benefits. You then will be subject to penalties, interest and back unemployment taxes - and it doesn't end there. The state Department of Labor shares all employment and wage data with the IRS automatically. You will also owe any back Social Security and Medicare taxes and be again subject to penalties and interest. Unfortunately, this is a common, unpleasant consequence of avoiding the 'Nanny Taxes.'

{FREE} Related Reading: "10 Tips: Conquer the Nanny Taxes" >>

SHIELD YOUR CHILDREN

Don't deliver the bad news in front of your children. The nanny will be upset no matter what the reason for the dismissal. Your children don't need to hear Mommy and nanny shouting at each other. Worse yet, they don't need to see their beloved nanny burst into tears. These are all natural reactions, but you need to shield your children from the emotional fall-out.

You will need to explain to your child that the nanny is leaving separately.

If the separation is amicable, you will want to allow the nanny and the child to say their good-byes and share their last moments. Be careful that it doesn't turn into a melodrama. Consider planning a future visit if possible - perhaps you can arrange for nanny to baby-sit one evening a few weeks down the road. Planning a post- employment visit for the caregiver and the children makes the last days easier, since you can remind your children

that they will see him or her again and perhaps you can even arrange for a specific date to get together (or time when the children can call on the phone) prior to the nanny's actual departure.

If you don't have any photos of the nanny with your children, this would be a good time to take some for your children to place in their scrapbooks.

Give your child an opportunity to let you know how they feel about the upcoming change (assuming, of course, that this is feasible - infants and toddlers are not as verbally communicative, for the most part!) and let them know that you will also miss this person. Some children will react very strongly, and others may withhold their reactions for several weeks before you are able to evaluate how they feel. Occasionally your child may take out their feelings of anger or abandonment on the new caregiver.

The nanny who was fired for unacceptable job performance should not be left alone with your child, and probably should not engage in good-byes. Take a deep breath and try to calm yourself before you talk to your child. Decide how much you want your children to know - while the caregiver remains in your employ and even after they have left. Sit down with your children and explain, to the best of their ability to comprehend, why you felt that their caregiver needed to be replaced. Keep it positive to the extent possible. "Suzie was a lot of fun but she knows you need to be strapped in your car seat to keep you safe and she broke the rules. Daddy and I need to keep you safe and we cannot let Suzie stay with you anymore." is far better than "I just fired Suzie and she won't be watching you anymore. I cannot believe she put you in the car without your car seat. That was a terrible thing to do! She is a horrible nanny!" Your child may have become attached to the nanny who let her sit in the front seat of your car without a seatbelt. Be prepared for your child to be angry with you for a while too. Reinforce to your child (and the fired nanny) that your number one job as a parent is to keep your children safe.

APPENDICES

DOMESTIC EMPLOYEE RESPONSIBILITIES: JOB TITLES & DEFINITIONS

Skip to Definition:

• Nanny • Nanny/Housekeeper • Nanny/Governess • Nanny/Household Manager • Mother's Helper • Newborn Care Specialist (FKA Baby Nurse) • Babysitter

WHAT IS A NANNY?

Primary Functions: The International Nanny Association defines a nanny as one "employed by the family on either a live-in or live-out basis to undertake all tasks related to the care of children. Duties are generally restricted to childcare and the domestic tasks related to childcare. May or may not have had any formal training, though often has a good deal of actual experience. Nanny's work week ranges from 40 to 60 hours per week. Usually works unsupervised."

Note that a nanny is more than a baby-sitter. The nanny job is the best paying childcare career - and for good reason! Nannies are expected to participate in the social, emotional, and intellectual development of their charges, and will work with the child(ren) on such areas a language development, potty training, social manners, homework, and more.

Most families request that a nanny make a minimum commitment of one year to the job. This is to make sure that the children have continuity in their childcare.

A nanny may work eight to ten hours per day, generally five days per week. A nanny will generally expect two consecutive days off weekly. A nanny may live in or live out. The nanny should have some previous verifiable child care experience or equivalent training/education. The nanny works under the minimal supervision of the family (adult members) and must be a self-starter, show sound judgment, be committed to the well-being of children, and be able to take initiative.

Many candidates for nanny positions have held previous employment as CDAs (Child Development Associate) or CNA (Certified Nurse Assistants). The CDA is a credential. It usually involves one year of preparation and assessment. Although the CDA is not a college degree, college courses often assist the applicant preparing for a CDA. The Council for Early Childhood Professional Recognition awards the CDA credential. A CNA, Certified Nurse Assistant, provides direct personal care for aged and impaired individuals who require assistance with the activities

of daily living under the supervision of a nurse. Credentialing of the CNA varies from state to state and may or may not be regulated.

The International Nanny Association (INA) has a Nanny Credential Exam. A credential is an attestation of qualification, competence or authority on a particular subject. In INA’s case, when a nanny passes the Credential Exam, she has shown that she has the knowledge needed to care for children in someone’s home.

WHAT IS A NANNY/HOUSEKEEPER?

Primary Functions: The nanny/housekeeper has the dual responsibilities for the care of a family's children and their home. The nanny/housekeeper typically works in an environment where the family's children spend significant time daily out of the home, generally at school. The nanny/housekeeper's childcare responsibilities include full supervision of children while they are in the home, attention to their meals, dressing, and hygiene. The nanny/housekeeper's housekeeping responsibilities include daily making beds and general straightening, children's laundry and bedding; dust and polish furniture; sweep, and mop floors; maintain bathrooms; and vacuum.

Secondary Functions: Heavy housekeeping responsibilities are generally not the responsibility of the nanny/housekeeper. The nanny/housekeeper may occasionally clean ovens, refrigerators, and wax floors; may do parent's laundry and bedding; may run family errands. May supervise outside vendors in the home (carpet cleaning, window washing, plumbing, etc.).

A danger in combining the nanny/housekeeper job functions is that there may be conflict between the various aspects of the job responsibilities. Depending on the number of hours the children are in the house, the cleaning responsibilities may suffer. It is VERY RARE to successfully combine the nanny/housekeeper responsibilities when there are children under 6 in the household.

A nanny/housekeeper may work eight to ten hours per day, generally five days per week. A nanny/housekeeper will generally expect two consecutive days off weekly. A nanny/housekeeper may live in or live out. She should have some previous verifiable child care experience or equivalent training/education. The nanny/housekeeper works under the minimal supervision of the family (adult members) and must be a self-starter, show sound judgment, be committed to the well-being of children, and be able to take initiative.

WHAT IS A NANNY/GOVERNESS?

Primary Functions: The nanny/governess is an educationally qualified individual responsible to oversee the family's children and their upbringing. She is typically responsible for many aspects of education, may home- school the children, and may be responsible for putting them to bed, getting them to their lessons, and any other typical job of a parent. The nanny/governess will organize play dates and other activities; maintain the bedrooms, play areas and clothing, prepare the children's meals, all in the context of an educational, comfortable and safe environment. The nanny/governess typically has minimal responsibilities for domestic chores not directly related to the children.

The International Nanny Association defines a nanny/governess as "Traditionally an educationally-qualified person employed by families for the full-time or part-time at-home education of school-age children. Functions as a teacher and is not usually concerned with domestic work or the physical care of younger children. Hours of work by arrangement."

Unlike the nanny, the nanny/governess should have formal college-level education in early childhood education, a teaching certificate, nursing or credentials including nanny certifications from an established, recognized institution. The nanny/governess must have previous verifiable childcare experience and show a sincere interest in working with children. Fluent written and conversational English is generally a prerequisite.

A nanny/governess may work eight to ten hours per day, generally five days per week. A nanny/governess may live in or live out. The nanny/governess job often requires travel with the children - a passport is generally required.

WHAT IS A NANNY/HOUSEHOLD MANAGER?

Primary Functions: It is the exceptional candidate that can combine both of these job functions, and this individual will expect to be compensated accordingly. The nanny/household manager will undertake all tasks related to the care of children. Duties include childcare and the domestic tasks related to childcare. In addition, the nanny/household manager is responsible to hire, supervise, and coordinate the other household staff to keep the household running smoothly. This will include housekeeping/housecleaning services, contractors such as plumbers, electricians, landscaping services, and catering services.

Secondary Functions: May include such personal services such as dropping off/picking up dry cleaning, travel planning, party planning, grocery shopping, and household budgeting. The nanny/household manager typically works in a household where the children are few (1-2), older, (6+) and spend a considerable part of their time out of home in school or another supervised setting (camps for example).

A nanny/household manager typically works eight to ten hours per day, generally five days per week. A nanny/household manager may live in or live out. The nanny/household manager often has training in formal service, either through a nanny/butler/household management program or via the hotel/hospitality industry. Should have previous verifiable childcare experience and show a sincere interest in working with children.

WHAT IS A MOTHER'S HELPER?

Primary Functions: Assists the stay at home parent with all aspects of childcare and light house work. A Mother's Helper is a fabulous position for the younger candidate not ready, either educationally, experientially or sufficiently mature, for sole-charge child care for long periods of time. A mother's helper provides an extra set of hands, helping the stay at home mom or dad meet their children's demands. Often works with families with multiples, and families who home school. This individual may live in or live out. A mother’s helper may be left in sole charge for short periods of time.

Secondary Functions: May assist with light housekeeping, run errands, light meal preparation, and any domestic chore that assists the parent.

In the US market, the role of Mother's Helper is generally held by young women, aged 18 - 20, who plan to move into other childcare positions in the future. No special educational background, and often has babysitting experience.

WHAT IS A NEWBORN CARE SPECIALIST (ONCE CALLED A BABY NURSE)?

A Newborn Care Specialist, formerly known by the terms Baby Nurse, Maternity Nurse or Postpartum Doula, is a newborn and infant care specialist. The Newborn Care Specialist may have some level of actual nursing training, but that is not considered a prerequisite for the position. A Newborn Care Specialist will have extensive practical experience with newborns, and will have current knowledge of accepted practices in newborn care, including lactation support, Infant CPR certification, and the proper use of car seats.

The position of Newborn Care Specialist (NCS) is temporary in nature. A typical assignment will range between 2 - 8 weeks, longer for preemies and special needs infants. The Newborn Care Specialist typically works 12-hour shifts, either a day shift or a night shift, but may work a 24-hour shift by arrangement. A NCS may work as part of a team, particularly in the situation of higher order multiples.

Primary Functions: A Newborn Care Specialist's primary responsibility is to provide the new parents assistance during the post-delivery recovery period and assist with all aspects of newborn care including feeding (including help for the nursing mom), changing, bathing, infant laundry, sterilizing bottles and helping parents establish a schedule for their baby and obtaining some much-needed rest. A Newborn Care Specialist will have good interpersonal communication skills, as a primary job function is training and educating the new parent(s).

Secondary Functions: The Newborn Care Specialist may, by agreement, provide other general household functions such as meal preparation, general laundry, and occasionally assist in the care of older siblings.

Other Considerations: A Newborn Care Specialist will generally temporarily live with the client family. She should at a minimum have a private bedroom and adequate closet/drawer space to unpack her clothing. In selected major metropolitan markets (New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles for example) a Baby Nurse working a shift may be able to do so on a come and go basis.

Wages for a Newborn Care Specialist typically range from $20 - $35 per hour, depending on whether the position is shift or 24-hour and if the care is for a single infant, twins or triplets. A Newborn Care Specialist should be contracted for a minimum of 4 weeks before the baby's due date, and most Newborn Care Specialists will expect a retainer equal to two week's wage to reserve their services. Many Newborn Care Specialists market their services directly to families via websites, word of mouth from neonatal care specialists, childbirth educators and lactation consultants. Families also obtain Newborn Care Specialists through domestic referral agencies, which will collect a fee for their services in addition to the wages owed the Newborn Care Specialist.

WHAT IS A BABYSITTER?

A babysitter provides temporary custodial care of young children when the parents are not at home. The care typically is on a part-time or an as-needed basis. No special training or background is required; however, the babysitter should possess the ability to respond to a crisis situation, communicate effectively with parents, and have some basic first aid skills. This job, by definition, is different from that of a nanny as the babysitter is generally not involved in an ongoing basis in the emotional, physical and intellectual development of their charge. While some parents use this term interchangeably with nanny, child care professionals make a solid distinction between the terms.

Primary Functions: Custodial care means that the babysitter insures the safety of the children in their care. They may entertain or play with the children, feed them a snack or a previously prepared meal, clean the children up and put them to bed or down for a nap.

Secondary Functions: Most babysitters have no other responsibilities beyond the custodial care of the children. A babysitter rarely prepares food, and does not generally bathe the children, out of an abundance of caution for the children being cared for. A babysitter may clean up the kitchen after a meal, straighten up a play room after the children are asleep, or may fold a load of laundry when specifically requested to do so.

This is a position generally performed by teen-aged girls or boys on an occasional basis. A babysitter will generally only care for the children for a few hours at a time, either in the evening when mom and dad go out to dinner or a movie, or a few hours during the day to relieve the parents. Babysitters are generally paid a previously agreed to hourly or evening rate, generally set by the babysitter his/her self.

QUIZ ANSWERS: WHAT KIND OF EMPLOYER ARE YOU? BEST ANSWERS

1. FALSE. Employer's need to understand that the nanny is entitled to expect to be relieved from work as agreed to. Nanny is entitled to make personal commitments outside her work hours that she is entitled to be able to meet - whether educational, social or personal. Occasional late hours are generally acceptable with warning, and the nanny with other obligations should be free to decline the additional hours. The responsibility to secure alternate childcare is the parents', although the nanny may have suggestions. 2. TRUE. Employees should no more meddle in the employer's personal or professional affairs than the employer should meddle in hers. HOWEVER, if work commitments are going to affect the nanny's hours or duties, they should be explained and mutually agreed to, including any overtime compensation, before they become an issue. 3. TRUE. Nannies truly appreciate working in a household where everyone understands that children come first. 4. FALSE. The good boss will explain what needs to be done, what the finished product or result should be, and provide guidance. The nanny should be given some latitude in accomplishing her daily (weekly, monthly) responsibilities. Whether beds are made before or after breakfast is cleared away is unimportant. Specific instruction is appreciated in some unique circumstances, such as care of a sick child or shopping for a dinner party. 5. FALSE. Parents are entitled to expect to know where their children are and what they are doing at any point in time. However, if the child is in school for example, the parents are not entitled to know all of a nanny's actions during the school day. Rather the nanny is responsible to complete all responsibilities in a prompt and professional manner and parents are entitled to expect this. 6. TRUE. Nanny | Employer Communications are vital to a successful work relationship and vital to ensuring the safety and well-being of the children. The professional nanny will keep a Nanny Log to assist in these communications. 7. FALSE. Good pay is always appreciated and certainly helps. However most nannies value more intangible compensation, such as the expressed appreciation of the employer, the hugs of the children, the respect of the employer for her vital role in the smooth running of the household. 8. FALSE. Play dates should always be with the expressed approval of the parents. Generally the parents will only need to be approached once. For example, nanny may suggest that Suzie and Mary would like to get together to play. The parents will approve the general suggestion and leave the scheduling particulars to the nanny. Parents may have stipulations, such as it is fine to invite Mary over but they are uncomfortable with you leaving Suzie at Mary's house. The professional nanny will follow these instructions. 9. TRUE. Again, Nanny | Employer Communications are vital to a successful work relationship. It makes it easier if the nanny doesn't have two bosses, who may instruct the nanny in opposite directions without knowing or meaning to. 10. TRUE. The family who is truly comfortable with the professional care that the nanny is giving their children is the family that the nanny WANTS to work for. The family is responsible to provide sufficient direction (emergency contact information, the children's schedules, etc.) of course, and the nanny will expect this information. 11. FALSE. No employee should have their boss stew over poor performance and then blow up. The good boss will discuss the importance of arriving on time to duty at the first abuse. Repeated late arrival after the family has discussed the problem are legitimate cause for dismissal, and any professional, nanny or not, understands this.

12. TRUE. As a boss, you are practicing the good communication skills that you expect in return from your nanny. The explanation does not have to be long winded - 'I have a late appointment next Thursday, could you please arrange to stay until 7:30?' should be sufficient. Remember, no one likes to work overtime without compensation. This may be money or comp time; however you and the nanny have previously agreed to handle it. 13. TRUE. But be careful that direct is not dictate. And try to be open to suggestions from the nanny, who may have potty trained a dozen youngsters already and have some practical experience that could help. Bottom line, your child, your way. The professional nanny understands this. 14. FALSE. No one likes their boss to lose their temper. This is disrespectful of the nanny - or any other employee. The nanny's behavior can be addressed and corrected in a respectful manner. And be sure to listen if there was a legitimate reason.