Temple of Dead Trees There Goes the Gayborhood!
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OUT / IN There goes the Gayborhood! How to get laid at Burning Man LINGO by CYNDI NOPANTS Headquarters, to find out why we felt by DUSTY POET buyer a taste of what they can expect The banned homoerotic the need to self-segregate, and what with purchase. Someone’s bound to acute Reno failure when your alcohol high grade MDMA art from 2001’s savory summer sausage or more than a decade, burn- else might be driving camps to our et’s be real. If you’re coming to the buy your or health diagnosis is so bad that medical “the Jiffy Lube camp delicious pink taco all new looks last year’s hoodie, ers have gotten to explore enclave. The Placement Team tried to playa and you’re single, it would after all that sam- Ramparts has to send you to Reno not even washed F Gayborhood” around the streets at proclaim that “we are all one,” even cit- L be nice to get laid. You’re in one pling. Amber Alerts knowing where yr 7:30 – an unsanctioned neighborhood ing 2015 BRC Census data that showed of the most beautiful, most bizarre, AirBnBurn another term for turnkey fucking kids are in Black Rock City teeming with LGBTQ BRC citizens identifying as LGBTQ+ at most butt-naked places on the planet. Be honest or plug-and-play camps, where one’s baby wipes cucumber wipes camps. What most BRC citizens don’t a rate of 5 times that of queer mecca San Getting booty here would be a beauti- The Burn is a pretty wild environ- camp is set up for them in advance by know, however, is the quiet debate Francisco. The modern day need for the ful thing – and I’m the one to help you a tad bicycles pedicabs ment where everyone is just entrepreneurial burners inside the Burning Man organiza- Gayborhood was unclear to them. get it. This is my guide on how to get sluttier, a claim I am backing with Black Rock Beacon BRC Weekly in tion (Borg) about its existence… and The queer delegation countered laid at Burning Man, from a guy who absolutely no evidence. It might be the Black Rock bottom no, it’s not in Center Camp Center Camp popularity. with personal playa stories such as has never gotten laid at Burning Man. case that getting laid is simply a mat- most of the residents of the Gayborhood; BLM Canine Unit DPW Dog Park The Borg’sPlacement Team have mine and the early experiences of “But wait, Dusty” you ask. “Why You probably won’t get in ter of asking someone, “Wanna fuck?” it’s what you hit when your life has final- breaking up with finding a bf/gf had a noble opposition to the forma- Feline Gender Blenders, some as recent as should I listen to you? Aren’t you And you either get to it or move on. ly unraveled completely on the playa uniquely disqualified your bf/gf at BM at BM tion of so-called “Gayborhood,” feel- to a large camp of employees from a the previous year, noting that larger from being able to because I’ve never gotten in. What I do A common reason that people come Black Rock bottom feeder one bringing a date bringing your mom ing that the Burning Man ethos of tech giant whose name may or may not camps and villages, like Comfort and speak with any authority on this mat- know is there’s almost always a long out here is to do things they wouldn’t who takes advantage, usually sexually, radical inclusion, communal effort, Joy, act as anchors and shelter for and translate to the number one followed ter?” To which I say, who needs quali- line, because the playa’s home to lots of and/or couldn’t otherwise do in the of strung-out burners at their worst bros being bros men calling out civic responsibility negates the need by bunch of zeros. smaller queer camps. We cleared up fications? I don’t need to have gotten Default World, and one of those things douchebags horndogs. Eventually, you’ll get inter- for LGBTQ camps to band together In response to the fledgling camp’s the notion that we wanted all the laid to get you laid. That’s like requir- viewed to see if you’re a good match may just be to say “yes” to an attractive blowing your fun load when Burning Man Wasteland in one neighborhood, citing that “we seeming unpreparedness, or over- queers to be rounded up into a “gay ing a year of experience for an entry for the orgy ecosystem, and if you fit stranger’s amorous request. Seriously, one has partied so hard the day or night Weekend are all citizens of Black Rock City.” But whelmedness, the large tech camp ghetto,” pointing out that some mem- level job. I can do this job. I can get you the criteria, you get in! it’s not unheard of. before, that they end up missing a big buying ice bringing an ice despite our best efforts erected a fence between bers of the Queer Burner network, like laid. I mean, you’re reading There are a few things event because they’re sleeping it off machine as a unified burner com- them. For Gender Burner Buddies, intentionally chose this, which means you’re to keep in mind about the No flirting at the Temple QUEER NEWS SEX TIPS a game camp elders camp leads munity, biases from the Blenders, that first year other sectors. We did, however, need a obviously cultured and Orgy Dome. For one, they I mean, you could. But it’s just in bowling for darkwads harsh reality check. cultural district that played on the playa where one runs into cancer full remission Default World have sometimes crept was a sort of where we could intelligent, so you’ve got going for won’t let you inside just so you can bad taste. Those people are there to into our radically dusty utopia, neces- In the years following the Jiffy Lube feel supported, understood, and, most you. Now let’s harness that personality jerk off. I mean, you can do that any- drop their baggage off for a one way and knocks down a group of people who cis/het enby/aro sitating the need for safe spaces like the incident, many LGBTQ camps coor- importantly, safe to be ourselves. to get you some action. Here are a few where. The Orgy Dome is for orgies. trip to eternal entropy, so don’t be sur- are not illuminated at night, to teach Cliff Bar Eggs Bar Gayborhood. dinated their placement requests in Placement Team’s AnswerGirl left nuggets of wisdom that may (or may Furthermore, you’re gonna get a wide prised if someone you’re interested in them a lesson that they need to wear clowns klowns Burning Man has not always order to be near each other, for safety, that meeting with a charge for the not) help you get laid. variety of people and body types, so doesn’t respond well to your advances, lights, i.e., don’t be a darkwad been kind to the queers of the playa. resource sharing, and to uplift each heads of other Borg departments: complaining how creating bigger, this may be a big negative if you’re what with all the sobbing. brightwad the opposite of a dark- 2001 was my “burgin year,” when I other in a way that only fellow queers Queers don’t always feel safe in Black First things first: shallow fuckwad much Burning Man better, badder art a like I am. Finally, wad; someone who lights themselves up witnessed law enforcement and Borg can provide. Gender Blender’s sopho- Rock City, and we need to fix that. Practice good consent as changed for everyone you can’t go alone. Orgies are more Be awesome with so many blinkies at night, that they officials force a gay camp known as more year formed an alliance with Camp Changes to meet that charge have Don’t be “that asshole.” Whatever fun with a friend anyway, and so you Not to sound all hippy-dippy, but crowdfunding crowdsourcing Jiffy Lube Beaverton already begun reverberating through- are blinding; see also enlightlement art projects out/in lists to remove an animated art (aka “the lesbian camp”) and you’re doing, always ask before escalat- should do the proper prepwork and by virtue of being here, something in installation of two cartoon men for- both camps quickly aligned with other out the Borg. ing. Even then, it’s no secret that some bring your own booty. And when you your life must have gone well. You’re burnacle a person who isn’t camping crying during crying during nicating. Despite this homophobic Queer Burners. By the time I returned However, leaders of queer camps mad stoned Temple burn DJ sets people get out here, so do, bring enough to share with the a profane wanderer, flirting with chaos with you, but keeps lingering around censorship that alarmed many gay to playa in 2011, the Gayborhood was are now left wondering what Placement let’s all be good humans toward our whole class. in a literal wasteland, hoping to find your camp, and somehow won’t stop Daft Punk at the getting trashed (and “adult”) camps, I returned to embedded in the 7:30 sector and both will do with the Gayborhood moving fellow travelers and refrain from tak- trash fence with Justin Bieber yourself, or find the answer, or just hanging around you or your campmates BRC the following year, and came out Gender Blenders and Beaverton were forward.