Jack Benny Program 1947 Oct-Dec.Pdf
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O T cKr s fliK[I JACK O MV MXO , 0310028 MX}F.filN #1 REJISM SG?,:C;'P nrMICnrr TOBACCO aaeA Pr UJCICi STRIXE THE Jf,CK BF.ANY PROOR"dd Sundav Ootober S 1947 NBC 4e00 - 4,30 PM PST d Arx 01 0 310 0 3 0 /TRE .JACK J3TYINY PRIX3RAM oOTOSER 5,~1947 OPENIN6 COMMERCIAL RUYSDAF_L - TRE JACK niaVNY PROCRAM - presented by UJCAY STRIISEF SRARSC'1T - NdCN3V YW BUY - KEEP YWR EYE ON TRE RED BUid .'S-EYE (SHOT - GONG) KEEP YWR EYE ON TNE RID BULL'S-SYE (SHOT - GONG) SN1EN YW BUY - KEEP YWR EYE ON IlJCKY STR'Qffi! RUYSDAEL - LS - MHT SHARBUTT - Lucky Strike means fine tobac0o . BOONE -(CNANT - 57 to 59 - AMERICAN - FAST) SRARDU'P1' - IBCKY STRIKE PRES'Ef!TS - THE MAN VAIO KNOwS! Mr . Furney Simmons King, inde_rsndent tobacco buyer of Lexington, Kentucky, has bought over 10 million pounds of tobacco in the last 36 years . Mr . King recently saide VOICE - Season after season, I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike buy real fine tobacco - ripe, light tobacco that makes a swell smoke . RUYSDAEL - At auction after auction, experts like Mr . King - men who really know tobacco - can see the makers of Lueky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light, tbat naturally mild tobacco . So . SHARBUTP - WHEN YW BCY - KEEP YOUR EYE ON TRE RED BNLL'S-EYE (SHOT - OONG) KEEP YWR EYE ON TRE RED SIJIT.'S-EYE (SHOT - GONG) WHEtd YOU BUY - KNEP YOUR BYE 01'7 IUCKY STRII{E! L Atid":remember . (MORE) ATH 0 1 0310031 ''171F, JnCBC P,ENNY PRCY'iRAM oCm013&R 5, 1947 C OPENIN6 CCIWofERCIAL (CGJT'p) RUYSDAII, - LS - hIF'P SHARBUTP - Lucky Strike m3ans fine tobacco . RUYSDA~NsL - So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco -- Lucky $trike -- so roimd, so firm, so filly packed, so free and easy on the draw . ( L AiH 0 1 0 31 0 032 (A'1HST ROUTINE) -I- (AFT7,'R CONflt4EtCIAT. MUSIC UP AND I7CWN) DON : THE IACKY STRIKE PROGRAM . .STARRING JACK BF14N4, W7TH NARY ISVINGSTO14, PY-IL HARRIS, ROCHESTER, DENNIS DAY, . AND "YOURS TRULY" DON WIISON . _ (APPSAUSE . MUSIC UP AND DCWN-GK) G A, . DON ; LADIFS AND FAST SUNR ER , ALL OVE'ft AN E[tICA NQLLIONS OF PEOPLE WENT ON VACATIONS . A4ID FOR THE FIRST TI[~"i IN MANY YEARS, JACK BIIVNY, THE SPOTS OF At.ffitICA . STAR OF OUR SHOW, VISITID THE GARDEP7. .P.FTIIt FINISHR7G A SUCCESSFUL RADIO SEASON IASTJUNL, H E WENT DIRF()TLY TO THE BFAUTIFUL SUN VATdF.Y HOTEL IN SUN VA = 4, IDAHO . (TRANSITION MUSIC) (SOUND : HOTEL NOISNS) ARTIE ; Oh clerk, clerk? MEL : Yes sir? ARTIEc My name is Farnsworth . My wife and I have reeervations here starting today . MIL; Just a second . 7st me check the.t : Isn-t this a beautiful hotel, dear?. JENJY ARTIE ; The nicest I've ever .seen, darling . : . , m6'L; Oh yes . Here we are . Mr . .and Mrs . Donald .Farnsworth . You're inSuite 316 . P ll have your .bags_tekencare oS . (SOUND : - BEIYIWO.TIM) ~ , . _ . : OH .BOY. .BOY. M6Z . 191, X 0 i 0390033 -2- JACK: Yes alr . MEL : Take Mr . and Mrs . Fsrnsworth to Suite 316 ; (HAPPY) Gee: . Th e honeymoon suite! htiL . JACK : And boy . .? JACK : Yes sir ; This time. - MI'L leave whether they tip you or not . JACK: Yes sir . This way, please . (MUSICAL PIAYOFF) : AFrER THREE GUJRIOUS WF.IISS IN SUN Vf:IJ.E4,. DON JACK BEWNY NEXT VISITID THE WORID FAMOUS BROADMOOR HOTEL IN COIARPS7O SPRIAY3S . (COIARADO SPRINGS BRIDGE) (SOUND : DINING ROOM SOUPIDS . .CLiNKIISG OF SILVLWARE, EPC .) BEA ; My goodness, Wilhur, the dlning room is certainly crowded . I do hope we ' re fortunate enough to get a table . .I 1 ll talk. GIbRGDe Well, all we can do is try, Genevieve to the headwaiter . .(UP) Oh Captain? . JACK : Oui, Monsieur . GJORGE : We ' d like a table for two . JACK : Eh bien . .(BRENCH ACCENT) A table for two? I will talk to one of rT waiters and see if we have one available . .(UP) Oh Pierre, Pierre? ROCH : WEE, MON, CAPITAINE? . JACK : Avon new oon tabl poor dew? ROCH ; JENNAY CRAW PAH . l JACK : Poor kwah poh? . d ATX01 0310034 ROCH ; EELYA TRO PERSUN EECEE . .EEL AY TRF .Y CROW•DAY . JACK ; (FRENCH ACCENT) I(nn so terribly sorry, Monsieur, but no tables for two are available, There will be a one hoi+r wait . G:ARGE ; One hour? Look, Captai}I, here's five dollars . JACK : (FRENCH ACC~) Time~ s~1 doosn't it, Monsieur? . .Oh Pierre, give this couple a nice table ; WEE MON CAPITAINE„TRAY BEAN, AND RIIvffIrIDER,. ROCH TWO APm A IF DUCR9 OF THAT 15 MINE JACK : What? HOCH : VIVA IA FRANCE ; . (MUSICAL PIAYOFF) DON ; (A L4 FITZPATRICK TRAVELOGUE) THE- SUZM WORE .ON, AND IT WAS WITH A HEAVY HEART THAT JACK FINALLY SAID FARSWF.LL TO THE BFAUPIFUL BROADMOOR H(YfEL AND SPFNP THE Rk~TMI.DIDER OF HIS VACATION AT TFNT JFINEL OF THE PACIF2C, CATAIIIVA ISL9ND . MUSIC• PIAYS "AVAIAN'+ (SOUDID ; STEAMBOAT APPROACFIING IN THE DISTANCE) JERRY : Hey Willie, look, here comes the S .S . Catalina in to dock . JOHNNY : Yeah . .and look, Skinny . .look at all the tourists she's bringing in . JLftRY; Gosh, I hope there ain't no cheap-ekates on board . JOHNNY ; Yeah . .Hey look . .they ' re starting to throw the coins already . JERHY: Yeah. .Get ready to dive . One of the ladies just throw ea quarter! 1 flTH01 0310035 JACK: ~ It's my turn, fellows . .~)ack ~, y~~-(.i.. ~ (SOUND : LOUD SPL4SH OF BODY IN WATER) JERRY: Aw nuts, he goes first every time . JOHNNY: Yeah . .you know, for an old mF;n, he can sure stay under ' water a long time : You shoulda been here. JERRY yesterday when .a guy threw in a silver dollar . JOHNNY : Did he stay under long? JERRY : Twice he sent up for sandwiches . JOHNNY: Sandwiches? JERRY : Just the bread, he caught his own san9ines . when he finally came up, he was covered with barnacles . .Oh, look . .there he comes up now . JOHNNY : Nah, that - s only his hair : Oh, ~~ yeaty .Let - a wait till . JERRY his glasses come up and then go . MUSICAL PLAYOFF) . DON : BUT ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END, AND 50 DID OUR HERO'S TRAVELS . .AND NOW TONIGHT, AFTER A GLARIOUS VACATION, WE BRING YOU THE STAR OF OUR SHOWI. .JACK BENNY. (APPL4USE) 4~ JACK: Thankyou, thank Pyou . .)~. Hello again; this is Jack Benny ta3.ldng . .And Don, even though you did exaggerate, I must say I had a wonderful eummer . X RTY{01 0310036 . DON : I'll bet you did, Jack . .When dyd you get back from Catalina? JACK: Yesterday afternoon . You see .I, I Oh, pardon me a minute . (SOUND : HOLLOW CL4PPING SOUND. .FOLIAWED BY HEAVY LONG SQUIRT OF SEIlPZER BOTTLE) JACK: I had a little water in my ear . .Well Don, here we are back on the air again, and I haven't seen you since last June . What did you do all eummer2 DON : Oh, nothing much . .I just oruised around on my yacht . JACK: ~' On your what, Don? DON : On my yacht : You, .you . .ocm. JACK a yacht? DON : . Yes . I bought it a few months ago . JACK: Don, you bought a yacht„ on what I . .on what I-- DON : I was luo$y in the stock market3sst~ . JACK: Oh, you must have been . De1r. .you must have been . .8o you spent most of your time on your yacht, eh? Where did you go? 1 DON : Oh, I cruised up and down the coast and then :took one trip into the Atlantic . JACK: Cruising the Atlantlep .that must have been nice : Oh, it was, but I had a little trouble getting through. DON the Panama Canal . JACK: Don, is your yacht that big? DON : Oh, the boat got through, I had trouble . JACK: Oh, I see„Well Don, now that weire here-- . DON: (GIGGLING) Jack. .Jack . .ask me what I named my yacht . Ai}i01 0310037 -6- JACK : What? Oh, all right, Don, what did you name your yacht? DON : I call it the Girdle . ~ JACK : Good gcodl .l.et's get on with the -- . DON : (GIGGLBJG) Now ask me why I call my yacht The Girdle . JACK : Don . .Oh, all right . .why do you call your yaobt the Girdle? DON : (L4UGHINGLY) Because it takes a lot of little tugs to get her out of her slip . (IAUGHS) JACK : Don . : (CONTINUES LAUGHING) JACK . DON : Don : (IAUGHS A LITTLE IOUDER) JACK . DON : Don . .Don . .Freedom Train . .Contml your caboose . .Don . .yov should've saved that old joke for next Sunday, October twelfth : why? . DON . JACK : Because that's Columbus Day and he was the first one to tell it . .Don,I'm ashamed of you starting off a season by telling an awiUl--- (BIG FANFAHE) . JACK : What's that? PHIL : Stand aside, Jackson . It's me . .Prince Charming . JACK : Phil! (APPL4USE) JACK : Phil . PHIL : All you ladies in the audience can sit down Dow . 1 arxo 1 o 31 oo 38 JACK : Phil, what kindd of an entrance was that? PHILAThisis the first show, Jackson . You gotta come on big . Harris ain't the modest type . .I ain't no stinking violet . JACK: That's shrinking . .but we'll leave it your way . .Anyway, I'm glad to see you, Phil . DON : Hello, Phil . PHIL: 11~ Hello, Donzy . Gosh, Jackson, I haven't eeeni youallsumrer .. .vi~ -- .u aa Come t~}era let ~ alap~you~on the back . JACK: Phil, Please . 4 , PHIL: Come here . i..Mw, ~ "''^"- '`'"`" . (SOUND : SIAP ON BACK FOLLOYW BY IANG 96(iIIRT FAi1M SEUFZER BOTTLE) .