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Champaign-Urbana’s community magazine FREE WEEKWEEK OF OF MONTH XX, 2012 N O VEMBER 21, 2012 more on HISTORY OF HAND TURKEYSXXX 5 0 BIGX GIGANTICXX 0 PREVIEWXXX 0 6 BLACK FRIDAY 9 READBUZZ.COM VOL10 NO48 NOVEMBER 21, 2012 IN THIS ISSUE EDITOR’S NOTE S AMANTHA BAKALL At this moment, the Bakall household is most likely elbow- deep in sweet potato peelings, cranberries and turkey. To say the least, it’s a busy time for us, and I really mean all of us. I got my debut in the kitchen when I was a 4-year-old and was handed the peeler by my FACES FROM GIVE BACK mother. “Peel these. Don’t drop any in the gar- 09 08 bage can,” she said. Or something like that. I don’t EXOTIC PLACES really remember because I was four, but I assume that was what she said. I also assume that I prob- ably wasn’t too deft at using a peeler and caused several holdups in the kitchen, but it was all in the name of learning, right? Right! MOVIE REVIEWS After a few years, I moved up to learning how to 04 Skyfall and Flight cut big things, like the potatoes I had just peeled. Now we were talking! I also got the “privilege,” (a privilege and a curse) of being in charge of a couple parts of dishes. For example, it is my job, and my job solely, every year to make the cornbread for our cornbread stuffing. I’m not sure RESTURANT FOR VEGETLOCAL VERSUS CHAIN how I wrangled that gig, but it’ll do. In addition to 11 Wendy's is coming! Is that good? captain of the cornbread, I am also lady dessert. Usually, I make at least one pie (pumpkin, duh, and sometimes apple) and some form of choco- BREAKFAST FOOD late something. At this point, my mom is still the boss lady of the kitchen, but I’m the head sous chef, head pas- GREEN BUSINESS CALENDAR try chef and the occasional chef de cuisine. My Missed the 12 Your guide to this week's events in CU brother, who is now 15, went through the same track of learning that I did, though he seems to be BEST better with a peeler and is content with his station BEST OF CU 2012? as assistant peeler. My dad, grill master, Brus- NEW BUSINESSON sels sprout slicer, table settings-finder and heavy resaleDon’t Sweat! READBUZZ.COM lifter-extraordinaire, is a talented guy. He’s not too skilled in the kitchen (sorry, Dad), but does we’ve got you covered. most of the stuff that the rest of us can’t. Ched- SHOP BARBEQUE Want to impress your family at the holidays with your ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT: dar, our goofy dog, is never too far away, usually poetic knowledge? Check out Kelsey McGrath’s “Words on Campus” column at readbuzz.com sprawled on the couch, waiting to hear the sounds and get your prose on! of a rogue piece of bacon hitting the floor. He will, Find the winners forPLA from time-to-time, also eat vegetables that we CU’s best eateries, M OVIES & TV: Con-Tro-Ver-See! takes on John Waters. Read Ben’s write up of cult classic drop, though they aren’t his favorite. hangouts, & more DESSERPink Flamingos. It can get hectic in the kitchen with me and my PIZZA mom. We like to get into it about anything and everything, especially during the holiday season COMMUNITY: Have you been feeling super stressed with your approaching finals? Ariel (and definitely about what dishes we should or Online at suggests an activity that can soothe the busy routine. LIVE MUSIC VENUE should not make. Everyone has their favorite, but readbuzz.com! we only have so many hands). Hot kitchens, hot MUSIC: Check out our review of Crystal Castles’ new album, III. plates and short tempers never mix well. But, it is always a good time when I’m at home. My mom FOOD & DRINK: Head on over to readbuzz.com to check out the craft beer selection at and I don't get to share the kitchen much now that SMOKE BUY MUSICFriar Tuck, as selflessly reviewed by writer David Jagodinzki. I'm away, and my moody 15-year-old brother isn't always the best companion for making pastas and sausages. I look forward to spending some more quality time with my family in the kitchen this SHOP HAIR SALON year, and you should, too! Happy Thanksgiving! 2 buzz November 21 - 28, 2012 xxxE veryone! Play Bastion! while adults watch and take pictures. That’s bad! HEADS UP! LIKES, GRIPES & YIKES They call themselves the Learning Channel, but the only educational value they offer is how to N Wee’ Jessica Bourque definitely ruin a little girl’s self-esteem. Get that YIKESArts & EntertainmentJESSICA Editor BOURQUE Boo Boo out of there! Worst yet, it’s not even the Yikes Arts & Entertainment Editor most offensive reality show on TV. Buzz… » Black Friday: Isn’t rampant »uV Tr T ’s Bait Car: The most offensive reality consumerism the best holiday show is on TruTV and called Bait Car. Bait Car tradition of all?! In my family, abandons a nice car in a low-income neighbor- How to have the best holiday Black Friday is more exciting than hood. They leave the doors unlocked and the Thanksgiving AND Christmas! keys in the ignition to tempt people to steal it. sweater at the party! HOLIDAY SEASON Mom starts work at Wal-Mart at Worse yet, they even put racist stereotypes on 7 p.m. on Thanksgiving night to prepare for this the dashboard like fried chicken and rap albums BY THOMAS THOREN crazy-fun shopaganza! This way, she doesn’t get (I am not fucking kidding, Google Bait Car.) This Discover what it’s like to spend any time with her children and grandchil- is a real show. TruTV also has a rip-off of Pawn sharing your birthday A ll right, everybody. Time to don your holiday dren who love her very much and drove a long way Stars where they film the interactions of a poor, cheer and embrace the holiday season for all to see her! But we understand. If she didn’t go to inner-city pawn shop. People don’t bring in their with the holidays! it’s worth. work, then holiday shoppers wouldn’t get to buy Civil War antiques, they bring in their clothes and If you’re thinking of doing a low-key celebration at themselves a brand-new Furby for $45 (they're wedding rings in order to make rent. TruTV is truly home with your family and just a few presents, then back and better than ever!) or a new DVD Blu-Ray racist, classist, awful television. Likes and gripes: What’s on you need to get over yourself and get in line at your player for only $68 (now that’s CHEAP!) “I don’t favorite box store for Black Friday. That should give mind the long hours and underpaid work, I do it for » MTV’s Eat Your Grandma’s Ashes!: From the our mind this week? you plenty of time to re-evaluate your life. the deals. The deals that I myself can’t enjoy but people who brought you Snooki’s Cesarean Sec- Y ou’re going to want to max out at least two work hard to help others enjoy.” —Jessica’s mom tion! And Laguna Beach Bukkake, get ready for credit cards in your crazed spending frenzy, so keep on Black Friday. So go out there and get your shop a hilarious new reality show about getting over al i n your swiping hand warm while standing in that cold on, you crazy shoppers! Maybe you’ll run into my grief and loss: Eat Your Grandma’s Ashes! Watch line. When shopping, don’t ask yourself whether mom. If you do, be sure to show your Black Friday as Steve-O (Jackass, Viva la Bam, Steve-O) goes ursda’ su! you need it — you do. If something is half off, then spirit by running her over with your shopping cart to funeral homes across the country and tries you better buy two because you were going to have and yelling “I don’t care about you, you worthless to persuade people to eat their loved one’s cre- to pay twice as much anyway, right? Right. employee! Gimme my flatscreen!” mains for a few hundred dollars! Don’t worry! A fter your morning spent prying electronics out It’s just a bite! Taste the ashy goodness of your of desperate mothers’ hands, haul all your junk » Turduckens: YUCK! BLEH! EW! GROSS! NAS- dead mother! Dust to dust and down the hatch! www.readbuzz.co home and shift your focus there. Load up the fam- T Y! I’ve never actually eaten a turducken, but I P lus, Steve-O will do a bunch of hilarious prankz ily into the car and go buy the biggest Christmas know they’re disgusting. How? BECAUSE IT’S like picking up corpses and making them dance! tree you can find. Swing by Prairie Gardens and M B ADE Y SHOVING TWO ANIMALS INTO AN- A lso, puking on a priest! Laugh out loud! It’s on buy enough garland to cover every inch of every OTHER ANIMAL’S STOMACH! WHO WOULD every Thursday at 9 p.m.! Don’t forget to watch banister, railing and fencing in and around your ENY JO THAT?! Seriously though, who eats these? the commercials! Steve-O drinks pints and pints home.