2 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 LAGNIAPPE ••••••••••••••••••••••••••• WEEKLY February 18, 2016 – February 24, 2016 | www.lagniappemobile.com

Ashley Trice BAY BRIEFS Co-publisher/Editor A redevelopment plan may force [email protected] employees of the Mobile Housing Rob Holbert Board to compete for their jobs. Co-publisher/Managing Editor 5 [email protected] COMMENTARY Steve Hall Fighting battles against all the usual Marketing/Sales Director [email protected] suspects. Gabriel Tynes 12 Assistant Managing Editor [email protected] BUSINESS Dale Liesch Broetje Automation is opening Reporter a new Airbus support facility at [email protected] Brookley Aeroplex. Jason Johnson 16 Reporter [email protected] CUISINE Eric Mann The Galley on the Reporter

[email protected] CONTENTS ground floor of the GulfQuest National Kevin Lee Associate Editor/Arts Editor Maritime Museum is [email protected] notable for a great Andy MacDonald view and menu Cuisine Editor delivering large [email protected] portions using fresh, Stephen Centanni Music Editor rich ingredients. [email protected] 2020 J. Mark Bryant Sports Writer COVER [email protected] The U.S. Coast Guard, Stephanie Poe Alabama State Copy Editor [email protected] Port Authority and U.S. Customs and Daniel Anderson Chief Photographer Immigration officials [email protected] work in concert to Laura Rasmussen ensure the Port of Art Director www.laurarasmussen.com Mobile is protected from threatening drugs, Brooke Mathis Advertising Sales Executive bugs and thugs. 2424 [email protected] Beth Williams ARTS Advertising Sales Executive Delaware Symphony Orchestra [email protected] Conductor David Amado will lead Candace Houston the Mobile Symphony Orchestra Advertising Sales Executive 26 through Ravel, Bach and Brahms. [email protected] Ariana Jokers MUSIC Advertising Sales Executive [email protected] Recognizable Comedy Central Melissa Schwarz Editorial Assistant voice-over artist and [email protected] stand-up comedian Mary Burts Kyle Kinane is bringing Distribution Manager new material to The [email protected] Merry Widow Feb. 18. Contributors: Asia Frey • Brian Holbert Dan Murphy • Ron Sivak Jeff Poor • Ken Robinson 30 Brenda Bolton 30 On the Cover: ASPA FILM By Daniel Anderson “Hail Caesar!” a deliberately POSTMASTER: Send address changes to P.O. constructed, inspiring and thoughtful Box 3003 Mobile, AL 36652. Editorial, advertising and production offices are Coen brothers film, is worthy of located at 1100B Dauphin St. 36 repeat viewings. Mobile, AL 36604. Mailing address is P.O. Box 3003 Mobile, AL 36652. Phone: MEDIA 251.450.4466 Fax 251.450.4498. Email: [email protected] or In Fairhope, a little blog-on-blog [email protected] violence. LAGNIAPPE is printed at Signature Offset, 2610 Lakeview Road, Hattiesburg, Mississippi. All letters sent to Lagniappe are considered to 40 be intended for publication. Member: Association of Alternative News- weeklies and Alternative Weeklies Network SPORTS All rights reserved. Something Extra Publishing, For Alabama and Oakland Raiders Inc. Nothing may be reprinted, photocopied or in any way reproduced without the expressed QB Kenny Stabler is tapped by the permission of the publishers. Pro Football Hall of Fame. Individuals may take one copy of the paper free 41 of charge from area businesses, racks or boxes. After that, papers are $3 per issue. Removal of more than one copy STYLE from these points constitutes theft. Violators are Mardi Gras may be over but the subject to prosecution. gossip continues. For Lagniappe home delivery visit www.lagniappemobile.com/lagniappehd 46 Or call Mary Burts at 251-450-4466

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 3 POLICEDISPATCH

Police make multiple drug arrests in Mobile area According to the Mobile County Sheriff’s Office, deputies during the summer months at least since 2002 for the purpose Within the past week, law enforcement officials have con- noticed a strong smell of marijuana coming from the vehicle of engaging in sex with underage male partners. ducted several unrelated drug investigations resulting in at least while assisting Alabama State Troopers with the accident The complaint states a search warrant issued at Evers’ home five arrests and the recovery of illegal drugs and weapons worth around 6 a.m. at 301 Perryman St. in Evergreen last April uncovered a “signif- thousands of dollars. According to police, the occupants of the vehicle admitted icant number of computer systems, hard drives and loose digital It took police only a few seconds to spot probable cause to having drugs when asked about the smell, and following a media storage devices, along with travel records, passports, while they were investigating a tip about marijuana trafficking search, officers found 483 Xanax tablets, 50 grams of mari- financial records and photographs of young Thai males.” It con- in the Kayson Court area on Feb. 11. juana, a bag of hallucinogenic mushrooms and a non-prescribed tinues to explain that “Evers accessed and downloaded images A handgun was reported to be in plain view from the bottle of codeine cough syrup. In addition to the drugs, officers of child pornography and images of child erotica with young doorway of a Mobile house, but it was ultimately the wafting also recovered an M-4 rifle, a .45 caliber handgun, an AK-47 male victims, and a substantial amount of digital photographs smell of marijuana that really caught the Mobile County Street assault rifle and $800 in cash. of young Thai boys in various states of undress.” Enforcement Narcotics Team’s attention. Mario Longoria, 23, and Katherin Poala Valencia, 21, were both Among the other evidence seized from Evers were emails After getting a search warrant, police found 10 pounds of arrested and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, to individuals identified only as “B.D.” and “D.L.” — some marijuana, THC resin or “dabs,” marijuana-laced baked goods, possession of a controlled substance and first-degree possession delivered from an IP address registered to the Alabama K-12 assorted narcotic prescriptions and drug paraphernalia in the of marijuana. school system — in which the writers apparently exchanged home. child pornography over the Internet and casually discussed their Possibly even more incriminating were the sales ledgers Conecuh county teacher accused of child sex crimes escapades abroad, sometimes using coded language. and the $17,550 in cash seized at the scene. At the time of the Last week federal authorities unsealed a five-count criminal The messages became increasingly graphic over the next search, two men originally from Theodore — 23-year-old Gun- complaint against a technology teacher at Hillcrest High School four years, as Evers discussed targeting boys younger than 13 ner Gaddis and 24-year-old Jerry Lebouef — were arrested for in Conecuh County alleging he engaged in international child and sexually abusing more than one boy at a time. Perhaps more drug trafficking. sex tourism, production of child pornography, transportation of disturbingly, Evers indicated he was becoming sexually attracted Gaddis, who has prior drug charges, added trafficking mari- child pornography, receipt of child pornography and accessing to two of his own students and wanted to photograph them. juana, possession of a controlled substance and possession of with intent to view child pornography. Superintendent Zickeyous Byrd of the Conecuh County drug paraphernalia to the list. Now, officials are asking anyone familiar with the local Board of Education confirmed Evers was arrested Feb. 11 Lebouef was only booked for trafficking marijuana during activities and relationships of Clarence Edward “Bud” Evers to at Hillcrest High School and placed on administrative leave the Feb. 11 incident, but has previous charges for receiving talk to investigators. pending further investigations. A personnel report from a meet- stolen property, carrying a pistol without a permit and simple “At this time we have no direct evidence there were local ing last August indicates he was temporarily assigned to the possession of marijuana. victims of Mr. Evers. However, given the long period the crimi- Board’s central office effective Aug. 6. The same day, the MCSENT arrested 34-year-old Jonathan nal activity that is alleged [took place] ... there may be people Byrd couldn’t offer many details, but confirmed Evers’ com- Brown after discovering a half-pound of marijuana and two out there in the public with information about Mr. Evers’ activi- puter class was offered to juniors and seniors at Hillcrest High weapons at his Bayou Street apartment during the execution of ties,” U.S. Attorney Kenyen Brown said in a news conference. School. He said he was not aware of any allegations of abuse a search warrant. “There may also be local victims who have not come forward to between Evers and his students. At least $3,220 in cash was recovered from the scene, and report his criminal activity against them.” “We are cooperating fully with law enforcement officers in Brown has since been charged with first-degree possession of Allegedly in December 2014, an agent with the U.S. Im- whatever way we can,” Byrd said, “and as soon as we learn marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. migration and Customs Enforcement office in Mobile received more we will keep everyone informed.” On Feb. 15, a Florida couple traveling home from New a complaint from an attaché in Bangkok regarding the sexual Conecuh County Sheriff Randy Brock urged anyone who Orleans ran into trouble in Alabama after police say they caused abuse of a minor by a Western male. The suspect, subsequently feels they have had inappropriate contact with Evers to call an an accident along Interstate 10 in Mobile County. They found identified as Evers, became the focus of a large-scale investiga- investigator at 251-578-1260. more trouble when the same police discovered several illegal tion — utilizing interviews, records requests, subpoenas, search drugs and weapons in their vehicle. warrants and more — to determine he traveled to Thailand Compiled by Jason Johnson and Gabriel Tynes.

4 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 BAYBRIEF | MOBILE Housing board employees fear loss of jobs to contractors BY DALE LIESCH/REPORTER | [email protected]

possible change in operating procedure and a move away ties manage their portfolios,” Vaughn said. “The overwhelming Taylor Plaza and Boykin Tower into two mixed-use, mixed- from the traditional low-income public housing model majority of tax credit management is performed by third-party income developments. Developers have already been chosen for in favor of a voucher program has some Mobile Housing private management contractors trained and adept at tax credit these projects, Vaughn wrote, and it is anticipated the developers Board employees fearing for their jobs. management. MHB’s Board of Commissioners has not decided as will “manage the market, workforce and affordable housing in the aSeveral current MHB employees, who requested anonym- to the exact structure of MHB’s new organization as it converts to new communities, and will take on the liability of the financial ity, spoke about a corporate meeting they attended last month in RAD and will make such decisions …” guarantees normally associated with developments of this type.” which Executive Director Dwayne Vaughn highlighted several Under RAD, MHB would have no more public housing and The plan also calls for the renovation of the board’s other changes that could take place as soon as October. instead convert everything to Section 8 mixed-income develop- properties and the possible sale of the now-vacant Josephine Al- The employees each agreed they were told they’d have to ments. The changes would be funded using tax credits, like other len Homes to a developer, Vaughn wrote. compete for jobs with private management companies, as MHB developments, and therefore MHB would have to adhere to The conversions should not impact residents, except those moves forward with its Housing Transformation Plan 2020 Alabama Housing Finance Authority and IRS rules. asked to temporarily move, Vaughn wrote. Meanwhile, the num- through a new financing option called Rental Assistance Dem- “If MHB has no public housing, it would not be prudent to rely ber of housing units will not change, he said. onstration. They said the move would eliminate the Low-Income on the current business units that exclusively service its current “There may be fewer units if Josephine Allen is not redevel- Public Housing segment of the board’s operations. ‘public housing’ inventory,” Vaughn wrote. “Rather, employees in oped and if MHB decides not to replace units that have been “Under RAD our jobs would be private,” one employee said. these business units will have to transition to tax credit manage- vacant for more than 24 months,” Vaughn wrote. “MHB believes “[Private developers] could come in and they would hire their ment, Housing Choice Voucher administration or other business it will serve the same or more families as it currently serves in own managers and maintenance. We don’t know if they’d hire units that are designed to service the tax credit properties.” its public housing program through the use of hard units and ad- from within.” Vaughn said the organization will give employees the opportu- ditional Housing Choice Vouchers.” Another employee said they were told that after Oct. 31, there nity to train in these areas in the coming months. All of the sources said the announcement last month has shat- was “no way to know how long we would have jobs.” The em- “In fact, some members of the staff have already received tax tered morale. ployee said they were also told it’s possible some of the employees credit training,” Vaughn wrote. “MHB will encourage employees “It’s sad,” one employee said. “These guys used to want to in this sector would keep their jobs. The employee said the move to avail themselves [of] and master the training offered as MHB come to work. Now, there are no smiles, no nothing.” would affect building managers, office assistants, and maintenance transitions to RAD.” Another employee said morale following the meeting was and public service workers employed at MHB’s properties. One employee said many colleagues have inquired about “probably as low as it can get.” “It puts us in a bad position,” the employee said. “Many of us retirement, while others plan to “ride this thing out and see what “It was a major blow,” the employee said. are too old to start over and too young to retire.” happens.” Vaughn wrote that he understands “major change evokes a In an email message Monday evening, Vaughn explained that The plan would allow the board to “better leverage their variety of emotions” and some might be frightened by the an- while MHB would eventually renovate, replace and move all of resources and secure tax credits and other conventional financing nouncement. its decades-old housing from the traditional public housing model mechanisms” by moving to the voucher program and away from “Others see the change as a tremendous opportunity to provide to a Section 8 voucher model in several phases, how the new system would be managed has not yet been decided. He said the the “financially unpredictable” public housing model, Vaughn better living conditions for the families we have the honor of board could use the popular route of bringing in private develop- wrote. serving, first of all, and then to learn the tax credit program, tax ers to manage the properties, or pick another path entirely. The goal of the board, Vaughn wrote, is to transform all of credit management and move aggressively toward the ‘future’ of “During the town hall-style corporate meeting, there was the housing stock in four phases, with the first seven properties affordable housing in this country,” Vaughn wrote. “Those with discussion regarding how other owners of tax credit proper- becoming part of the RAD program by October. This includes this perspective will view the change positively and look forward redeveloping Roger Williams Homes, Thomas James Place, R.V. to additional information.”

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 5 BAYBRIEF | BALDw IN COUNTY acquitted of capital murder, Salter faces new charges BY ERIC MANN/REPORTER | [email protected]

airhope resident Bruce Keishawn Salter, 26, was acquitted investigation. tors. However, Dearman acknowledged that in Salter’s initial of capital murder charges Feb. 3 after spending 954 days Salter was alleged to have driven Howard to the 7700 block interview, he did not tell the investigators about the $24 he took in jail awaiting trial for his connection to the 2013 murder of Parker Road, where Howard was killed. from Howard’s pocket and the final shot to Howard’s head. of another Fairhope man, Donald Howard. Dearman said Salter and Howard were riding to a different In trial, prosecutors argued Salter knowingly set up Howard, FAfter a seven-day jury trial at the beginning of this year, a location when Jenkins called and told them to come to the home then lied to investigators about his involvement. Salter’s attor- Baldwin County jury returned a unanimous not-guilty verdict in on Parker Road. Dearman said they pulled the car up beside a neys said their client’s story never changed and evidence proved Salter’s case, which included charges of murder during a rob- vehicle parked in front of the location, and Salter jumped out to his innocence. They also questioned why prosecutors sought bery, murder by a deadly weapon and tampering with physical urinate. According to Dearman, while Salter was out of the car, a capital murder charge when evidence showed the defendant evidence. Salter was originally arrested on Oct. 8, 2013, and Jenkins shot Howard five to six times. Dearman said Salter did didn’t fire a shot. indicted on six counts, including capital murder and tampering not see the killing but did see Howard slumped over in the car. “Legally, aiding and abetting allows for a broad reach, but with evidence. Dearman said Jenkins pointed a gun at Salter, telling him to in a capital murder charge it is statutorily limited to the actual Howard died Jan. 14, 2013, after being shot multiple times get Howard out of the car, at which time they took the man’s killing itself,” attorney Grant Gibson said. “To charge someone and robbed of money, a cell phone, a pocket knife and a red body to the back of the residence. When the pair noticed How- with capital murder, under the theory he aided and abetted when bandana. ard was still alive, Dearman said Jenkins fired a final shot to the evidence did not show that, was a strange tactical decision.” Last year attorney Chase Dearman filed a federal complaint the back of his head. Salter took a red bandana and $24 out of Following his release from jail, the District Attorney’s office against Baldwin County District Attorney Hallie Dixon seeking Howard’s pocket and Jenkins took a phone and pocket knife. hit Salter with another three-count indictment for an unrelated injunctive relief against the capital murder charges Salter faced, Shortly after the killing, Salter contacted Dearman to tell incident. According to the new indictment, Salter faces charges arguing Dixon did not honor a proffer agreement with Salter the story, and they relayed the information to the Baldwin of attempted murder, discharging a firearm into a vehicle and for his cooperation in building a murder case against Immanuel County District Attorney’s office. Investigators used informa- reckless endangerment. Court records show Salter now awaits a Charles Jenkins, who was later found guilty of Howard’s murder. tion provided by Salter to arrest and charge Jenkins in the case. bond hearing for those charges later this month. The complaint, which is pending in federal court, says the Dearman said had Salter not come forward, investigators would Jenkins was found guilty of murder Oct. 2, 2015, and sen- agreement was breached on June 24, 2013, when Salter was ar- not have known a crime occurred. tenced to life in prison in the Bibb County Correctional Facility. rested and charged with capital murder. The District Attorney’s Dearman said throughout the life of Dixon’s proffer agree- The Baldwin County District Attorney’s office did not return office believes Salter did not tell the whole truth during the ment with Salter, his client was truthful and helpful to investiga- calls requesting comment before press time. environmentalists sue over riverside coal facility BY DALE LIESCH/REPORTER | [email protected]

ccording to a complaint filed Feb. 5, environmentalists residents and properties in the Mobile community, especially that gives the risks and benefits of any proposed facility with concerned about the expansion of a coal facility along those districts adjacent to the proposed coal facility,” according the potential to harm the environment or people,” he said. the Mobile River near downtown have taken their fight to the complaint. Planning Commission attorney Doug Anderson said the to Mobile County Circuit Court. Pete Burns, a downtown resident and attorney representing Planning Commission and the council acted appropriately and aPlaintiffs Suzanne Schwartz, Carol Adams Davis and Herb the plaintiffs, said he would like to see those measures taken in he would be filing a response to the complaint later this week. Wagner argue for an injunction to prevent Cooper Marine the future when considering any proposal for a coal handling Although CMT had been storing coal at the facility for some & Timberlands (CMT) from handling coal at its property on facility. time without the appropriate planning approval, it received Cochrane Causeway, despite the activity’s approval by both the “The overlying issue is we don’t have a mechanism in place approval in November after CMT’s attorney, Stephen Harvey, Mobile Planning Commission and the Mobile City Council. to allow the Planning Commission and CIty Council to make claimed it was unaware approval was needed. The complaint, which names CMT, the city and the Planning an informed decision about risk and benefit of something like a The planning approval was then appealed to the City Coun- Commission as defendants, argues rulings by the Planning coal storage facility,” Burns said. “We don’t know how much is cil, which upheld the original decision Jan. 5. At a Planning Commission in November and the City Council last month generated … There’s not enough information for a risk/benefit Commission meeting two days later, the complaint argues, failed to adhere to several steps outlined in City Code. analysis.” the allowable volume of coal at the facility was changed from Allegedly, the commission “failed to determine the extent to Burns used a separate proposal as an example — the about 500,000 tons to an unlimited amount. which the public health would be affected by coal dust” from defeated Blue Creek Coal Terminal project — in which Walter CMT has historically stored as much as 1.3 million tons at the facility. They also failed to disclose the amount of coal dust Energy held a “science fair” showing how much coal dust it the site. Anderson has argued in the past the capacity in the the CMT facility was generating, or the “number of homes, generated near schools and homes. In another example, Burns zoning ordinance refers to the size of the footprint of the facil- schools, churches and other properties that would be negatively said the Mobile Area Water and Sewer System issued a report ity and not the size of the actual coal pile or volume of coal. impacted by coal dust,” the complaint reads. on a proposed pipeline in the Big Creek Lake watershed. The complaint came within a month after the council re- The commission also failed to “investigate the measures “What I think we need to have is an independent analysis fused to revisit the issue. that would be available to prevent coal dust from damaging the

6 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 BAYBRIEF | MOBILE COUNTY uncontested judicial elections an anomaly among large counties BY DALE LIESCH/REPORTER | [email protected]

hile the trend against Mobile County mingham division and a Bessemer division for judges facing opposition continues judicial seats. During the primary, candidates are during a presidential election year, the chosen by district, but then voted on countywide state’s other large counties are seeing during the general election, said Alexandria Wan influx of judicial challengers. Stevens with the Jefferson County Probate Court Mobile County has just one contested race elections office. Mobile County’s judicial elec- — for an open seat — among the six seats up tions are countywide. for grabs in the circuit and district courts. The Montgomery County will have two contested race between Republicans James Patterson and elections this term in circuit court, both featuring Allen Ritchie for Presiding Circuit Court Judge incumbents, Presiding Judge Gene Reese said. Charles Graddick’s seat will be decided in the For the county, it’s normally a “mixed bag” as far March 1 primary. as whether incumbents see challenges. Even though he has aged out of ballot eligibil- “It’s hard to figure out who draws opposition,” ity, Graddick has said he’d like to continue to he said. “Sometimes you can point to certain preside over trials by appointment. Mobile Coun- things and sometimes you can’t.” ty currently has the largest shortfall of judges Unlike Mobile or Jefferson, Montgomery in the state based on a weighted caseload study, County doesn’t have a nominating committee. In Administrative Office of Courts spokesman Scott the event of an unexpired vacancy, the governor Hoyem has previously noted. Graddick did not appoints judges in the county. return a call seeking comment for this story. “Elections can oftentimes filter out bad Incumbent judges facing no opposition are choices … ” Reese said. “Elections level the Circuit Judges Sarah Stewart and Jay York (who playing field, so to speak.” is running for the first time since being appointed Montgomery County judges run countywide. last year to fill the unexpired term of retired In Mobile County, Circuit Judge Walter Judge Rusty Johnston), and District Judges Honeycutt was recently appointed to fill the George Hardesty, George Brown and Jill Phillips unexpired term of retired Judge Donald Banks. (who is running for the first time since being ap- According to Amendment 408, which established pointed to York’s seat). Mobile County’s nominating commission, any In contrast Jefferson County, Alabama’s judge appointed at least six months before a largest, will have eight contested races featuring general election must run in that election. Since Honeycutt was appointed in February, he missed the November deadline for candidates to qualify for the March 1 Some think it’S primary, which would normally restrict him from ballot access in the general election. beSt to run in a Although the situation created some confusion, Honeycutt said the Alabama preSidential year. With Republican Party nominated him and he will be placed on the ballot with no the higher turnout they opposition. In an emailed statement Alabama Republican Party Chairwoman Terry See a better chance. Lathan confirmed Honeycutt would be the nominee. “Although our qualifying dates had passed, the law permits the party to fill gaps when quick action is needed,” incumbent judges in either primary or general Lathan wrote. “All applicants were given the op- elections this year, six contested races without an portunity to apply. Any interested candidate had incumbent and five races where the incumbent is equal access to participate through the process.” uncontested in both the circuit and district courts. Lathan also noted there were “several can- Jefferson County Presiding Circuit Judge Joe didates” who applied for the nomination for the Boohaker said seasoned incumbents facing this appointment. She called Honeycutt’s situation a much opposition in an election year is unusual “rare occurrence.” but not unheard of. He credited the presidential A call to the office of the Alabama Democratic election for bringing out more opposition than Party was not returned. It is unclear whether the normal. Democrats will nominate someone to run against “Some think it’s best to run in a presidential Honeycutt, or whether they even can. year,” Boohaker said. “With the higher turnout Honeycutt will run again in 2018, which is the they see a better chance.” year Banks’ current term expires. Honeycutt said Like Mobile, Jefferson County also relies upon Banks got an Attorney General’s opinion on the a judicial nominating committee to help with situation before he retired. the appointment of judges to seats left vacant by Mike Lewis, communications director for At- incumbents. Boohaker said appointees “rarely run torney General Luther Strange, said the opinion completely unopposed” in their first election. on file most closely representing what they’re “If you get appointed, you have to earn it,” asking for was written by Bill Pryor on Feb. 12, he said. 1997. It basically states that the Secretary of Unlike Mobile, Jefferson County has a Bir- State has the authority to interpret election law.

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 7 BAYBRIEF | MOBILE COUNTY Gary Tanner ousted from 911 board after internal investigation BY JASON JOHNSON/REPORTER | [email protected]

fter serving for two-and-a-half years as the director of the Oliver didn’t clarify what friendships he was referring to, but ship and maintenance costs of certain components of the 911 Mobile County Communications District, former state allegations of biased bidding have been part of the discussion system. Both are also expected to sign off on a “memorandum of senator and county commissioner Gary Tanner was termi- about the Harris contract throughout the past year — a bidding understanding” clarifying the previously undocumented arrange- nated Feb. 11 after a unanimous no-confidence vote by the process overseen at the time by Mobile County employee Eric ment in the near future. aMCCD’s board. Linsley and County Engineer Joe Ruffer, who was also on the 911 “A lot of decision-making authority was given to people who Tanner was promoted to director in June of 2013 after 10 years Board at the time. were not 911 Board employees,” Oliver said. “We can’t hold them with the MCCD. He was let go last week after the board privately Both have openly acknowledged MCCD was working with accountable, but what we did here today was take actions to hold reviewed the results of an internal investigation conducted last fall. Harris prior to opening bids for the project on in 2013. However, our people accountable for decisions that were made over the past Despite an $18,000 price tag, the report from that investigation they maintain the 911 Board initially believed the project could be couple of years.” has not been released to the media or the general public and there awarded as a “sole-source” contract through a pre-approved state Tanner, who was being paid upwards of $126,000 at the time of are no indications it will be any time soon. When asked about ob- bid list. his termination, will be replaced in the interim by Deputy Director taining a copy, reporters were redirected to the MCCD’s attorney, Despite Mobile County District Attorney Ashley Rich claiming Charlie McNichol. Having not seen the report from the board’s Jeff Hartley. As of Feb. 16, calls to Hartley had not been returned. to have launched her own investigation into the contract, no crimi- internal investigation, McNichol said the decision to remove Tan- Without that report, the exact reason for the director’s termina- nal charges have been filed against anyone related to any aspect of ner was “surprising.” tion remains unclear, and Tanner himself has declined to comment the contract or its bidding process. However, the controversy and “I’ve worked with Mr. Tanner and he’s done a good job since on the matter. media attention over the past year does appear to have affected the I’ve worked with him. This is a great agency and a great opera- When asked, 911 Board President Stephen Bowden would only relationship between the county and the MCCD board. tion,” McNichol said. “What I have to focus on now is running this say Tanner was removed from his position because of “a loss of Oliver told Lagniappe he isn’t sure if removing the director will agency, because we have a lot of employees and a very important confidence.” make things better or worse. mission to Mobile County.” “It was time to move in a new direction,” he added. “I hate to admit it, but there may be some bad blood because of While there’s no indication of how long the search for Tanner’s That new direction is one the board started moving toward in the action we took today,” Oliver said. “The County Commission’s replacement will take, the board has officially opened the position 2015 after the internal investigation that preceded Tanner’s ousting employees are not communicating openly with us anyway. We and McNichol told local media he’ll definitely be submitting his was launched to review a $40 million communications enhance- have to have our lawyers call their lawyers, and that’s absurd.” name for consideration. ment project awarded to Harris Corporation in 2012. Yet when asked about Oliver’s comments, Mobile County Aside from Tanner’s position, the MCCD board once again has Last September, several features some described as spokesperson Nancy Johnson told Lagniappe county personnel had a seat to fill after Citronelle Police Chief Shane Stringer unexpect- “unwanted”and “unnecessary” were removed, bringing the cost been working with the 911 Board as recently as last week. edly resigned Wednesday afternoon. Despite the timing, Stringer of that project down by close to $5 million. Board member Trey “Our employees have provided full responses to the MCCD insists his resignation had nothing to do with the report that was Oliver said after the meeting that removing Tanner was “a business for information requested by their staff, and we have an ongoing released to board members only hours later. decision,” though he did say it wasn’t entirely related to the Harris dialogue with the District,” Johnson said in an emailed statement. “I resigned because I’m involved in so much as the president contract. That being said, Ruffer and Lindsley refused to participate in of the Police Chiefs Association and as the chief of a small-town “We got to this sad day because of long-standing friendships the investigation unless they were interviewed together — a condi- police department,” Stringer said. “I’d love to see that place turned and politics,” Oliver said. “You cannot let friendships and politics tion the panel conducting the review ultimately refused to accept. around, and to me we’ve gone through the worst of it, but I’m try- get in the way of business decisions, and this morning the board As Lagniappe reported last month, the friction between the ing to do the best job I can for the city of Citronelle.” members unanimously had the guts to make a business decision.” county and MCCD is relevant because the entities split the owner-

8 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 BAYBRIEF | MOBILE COUNTY Failing schools double in number as grad rates soar BY JASON JOHNSON/REPORTER | [email protected]

month after touting an improved gradu- “On average, there were only about 2 ation rate, the Mobile County Public [percent] to 3 percent of students failing the School System was revealed to have graduation exam and the number isn’t much 12 “failing schools” — the most since different now,” she said. “The students are thea Alabama Accountability Act took effect and definitely learning as much. In fact, they’re twice the number reported in 2015. learning more because the College and Career The same proved true at the state level, with Ready Standards have increased the complexity Alabama achieving an 89 percent statewide and challenging nature of the coursework that graduation rate, only to see 76 schools desig- students receive.” nated “failing” this month. Previously, Valdes-Hubert said increases in In its original form, the AAA defined a graduation rates could be attributed to “many “failing school” as one listed in the lowest things,” including local initiatives focused on sixth percentile of standardized reading and keeping students at grade level with the age math scores three or more times in a six- group they were in when they began the 9th year period. However, subsequent legislation grade. changed the calculation to review tests scores No matter the cause of dip in tests scores, from a single year. being on the list of “failing schools” under the Currently, student progress is measured by AAA has real effects on schools and on entire Act Aspire in grades 3 through 8 and Plan, school districts. The law, which passed with which tests high school sophomores. In 2015, some controversy in 2013, allows students 329,233 students took the tests — the second from “failing schools” to transfer to non-failing year the state has used a test aligned with Ala- public or private institutions using a $3,500 tax bama’s “College and Career Ready Standards,” credit from the Education Trust Fund. or Common Core. Only a year after its implementation, Mobile Most of the 12 schools receiving a fail- County saw the second-highest number of ing designation locally were middle schools, transfers from any district in the state with 155 but Morningside Elementary School also was MCPSS students transferring from six “failing included. There were only three “failing” high schools.” schools in Mobile County: Lillie B. Williamson, More recently, Peek said, MCPSS has been C.F. Vigor and Mattie T. Blount. Incidentally, working to improve the scores at schools that those same schools earned the three lowest graduation rates in the system last year — well fell within the lowest sixth percentile in read- below the district average of 86 percent. ing and math proficiency. Despite what appears to be a juxtaposition of “We’ve been aware of our scores since test scores and graduation rates, Mobile County August, and we’ve already been working in Schools Superintendent Martha Peek said the our schools with different programs and ap- two don’t necessarily measure the same thing. proaches to address the academic needs of our According to Peek, graduation rates give a students,” she said. “We’re already in another “better picture of the total educational prog- year of our students working toward more rig- ress,” where standardized tests only provide a orous standards measured by a more rigorous snapshot of a certain time. test, and we expect those results to improve. “One thing we continue to do is single out It’s a gradual process.” one specific test, and there are many more Valdes-Hubert said the ALSDE does think components to judging student achievement and it’s “unfortunate” reading and math proficiency progress,” Peek said. “When it becomes that isn’t on the same level as the state’s rising high-stakes, I don’t think it’s a full measure of graduation rate, but, like Peek, she believes the everything that’s occurring in a school.” higher standards adopted in 2012 will eventu- Peek did acknowledge the recent implemen- ally see those scores rise as well. tation of the new state standards has increased However, keeping those standards in place the difficulty of the material students are tested long enough to see if that proves true has not on. She said it’s also possible the change in been without opposition, as the legislature has the way “failing schools” are calculated had fought to repeal the standards for several years an effect on the number of schools considered due to the inclusion of Common Core elements. “failing.” State Sen. Rusty Glover (R-Mobile) has Malissa Valdes-Hubert, a spokesperson for already introduced a bill with the same goal in the Alabama State Department of Education, the current session, though it does allow local said the same is true on the state level and for school boards to make the final decision. the 76 schools that found themselves in the bot- Peek and the Mobile County School Board tom 6 percent this year. have supported the new standards in the past, “That changed who ended up being on the but the issue has become a focal point in the list and the number of schools on the list,” March 1 primary election between incumbent Valdes-Hubert said. “Looking at three out of the District 5 School Commissioner Dr. Bill Foster last six years gave schools with four good years and his opponent, Theresa Lucas Hubbard. the possibility of dropping off the list. Now, As for Valdes-Hubert, she said the state has we’re just measuring one year.” bought into those new standards as well. Valdes-Hubert also said here will “always “We’re totally committed to the standards be a 6 percent,” and thus, there would always because we believe they’re the best choice for be “failing schools” as defined in the AAA. students,” she explained. “We’ve seen tremen- However, she refuted the idea that higher levels dous progress from students in their engage- of graduation rates are a result of removing a ment and activity in the classroom. I really requirement to pass the Alabama High School encourage people to go to their schools and Graduation Exam. really look and see what’s happening.”

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 9 BAYBRIEF | EDUCATION brown raises three times as much as opponents in school board race BY ERIC MANN/REPORTER | [email protected]

s the race for the District 1 seat on the state board of Spriggs, $250 from Roland Fry Jr., $250 from Barry Booth and Bourne received $756 from Mary F. Smith on Feb. 2. In Janu- education nears a close with the March 1 primary elec- $500 apiece from State Sen. Lee “Trip” Pittman, John Parker ary, he reported contributions of $500 from Farahat Enterprises, tion approaching, incumbent board member Matthew and John White-Spunner. The candidate has also made a handful $250 from Hawk PAC, $250 from Hubert Cain Jr., $200 from Brown has raised more than three times as much money of donations himself to the campaign totaling more than $8,000 John Clark and $100 from Joseph J. Minus Jr. aas his challengers. in personal loans and in-kind donations. He also has received donations of $4,300 and $1,500 from District 1 encompasses more than 110,000 students in 154 Last July, Brown was appointed to the seat by Gov. Robert the Committee to Elect Adam Bourne, $1,000 from William R. public schools located in Baldwin, Mobile, Conecuh, Butler, Bentley to fill the vacancy left by Al Thompson, who accepted Sumter, $1,000 from Larry Lee, $500 from Edwina Bates, $250 Covington, Crenshaw and Escambia counties. The district is also a position with the Alabama Community College System Board from Campbell, Duke & Campbell, $250 from Brian D. Murphy, home to city school systems in Andalusia, Brewton, Chickasaw, of Trustees. $250 from Mark C. Wolfe, $200 from Gregory B. McAtee PC Opp, Saraland and Satsuma. Brown, who led the Educate Baldwin Now campaign against and $200 from John V. Lee LLC. As of Feb. 5, Brown reported $40,399.60 in total contribu- higher property taxes in support of Baldwin County schools last “The people I have met so far expect someone to fight for tions. Among his challengers, the closest fundraiser so far has March, said the people he has met on the campaign trail are con- education, and I will do that,” Bourne said. “I will tell you what been Chickasaw City Councilman Adam Bourne, who reported cerned about the availability of career and technical preparation I believe in and where I stand. You may not always like what I $13,881 in contributions as of Feb. 12. courses in the district. stand for, but I will firmly take a position and stick with it.” In February, Brown reported an $18,000 contribution from Career technical programs in Gulf Shores and Foley schools Bourne is a self-described small government conservative Progress PAC, $500 from Gulf Distributing Co. of Mobile, $300 along with the North and South Baldwin Centers for Technolo- who believes public education is one of the limited functions the from Toby D. Brown, $250 from Partners in Patient Education gy could be a model for other systems in the district, according government should provide to citizens. LLC and $100 from Dr. William Barnhill. to Brown. “We should support public education because it makes such Brown’s $18,000 contribution came from Progress PAC, a “I think people want to know that there are options out there an impact on our lives every day,” Bourne said. “Better schools Montgomery-based PAC affiliated with the Business Council besides going to a four-year college,” Brown said. “You can play a role in boosting the economy, the jobs market and making of Alabama. have a great career as a welder, or in health care, or in another public safety better for everyone.” “Progress PAC advocates for the business community state- technical field without a four-year degree. I think there are great The candidate said he is firmly against the RAISE Act, a wide,” Brown said. “They want the state to elect people who will programs like this in some places in the district, but others may teacher tenure reform bill currently being debated in the state leg- advocate for issues like tenure reform, school choice and career need some help getting them off the ground.” islature, and against Common Core standards, which he said have technical education in our schools. They know that I’m out here Brown’s closest fundraising challenger, Bourne, said that while played a role in fomenting public distrust of public education. supporting those causes and I’m glad to have their support.” a large portion of the incumbent’s support has come from PACs Two other candidates, Carl Myrick and Jacquelyn “Jackie” The previous month, Brown received $1,000 from J. Randle and personal donations, most of his campaign’s contributions have Zeigler, also will appear on the ballot March 1. McKinney, $500 from Matthew Metcalfe, $250 from Michael been donated by people he meets on the campaign trail. As of January, Myrick reported a campaign fund balance McCray, $250 from Mobile Bar Pilots LLC, $250 from Dr. Paul “I certainly anticipated my campaign would be largely funded of $1,383 in contributions. He reported receiving $500 apiece Cross, $250 from Mrs. Young Kim, and $100 apiece from Don- by small donations at the grassroots level because I don’t have from Flo M. Myrick and Mary P. Sullivan and $100 from Sandra ald Rhine, James Grodnick and RPP LLC. support from any big PACs like Mr. Brown,” Bourne said. “I Spears. Zeigler reported $2,600 in contributions, the largest of He also reported a $5,000 donation from Farm PAC, the Ala- would say that without his PACs and personal contributions, I which — a $2,000 donation — came in the form of a loan from bama Farmers Federation’s political action committee. State Auditor Jim Zeigler. Brown received $200 from Tony Kennon, $1,000 from Kevin have raised as much or more than he has.”

10 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 11 COMMENTARYDAMN THE TORPEDOES No confidence in keeping the grifters out BY ROB HOLBERT/MANAGING EDITOR | [email protected]

oesn’t it always seem like there’s some epic any regular basis. Victor Crawford is the very contractor struggle around here between those who want Over the years, the license and revenue Hastie was using to pay for her political to move forward and those who want to job the commissioners have lived a rather shad- applications and public relations firms, system for their own benefit? owy existence with little public scrutiny. and Crawford is the one who turned her DI know that’s what I spend a lot of my time writing When Hastie met with us to push this over to the FBI. about. Some of you are probably sick of hearing about consolidation plan, back before her the One would think Wilcox might look this mess and would rather I move on to a sweet column indictments came down, I told her my at that situation alone and wonder why about my dog or something. one fear is the almost total lack of public Hastie continued overpaying APL by And I know writing about the usual suspects in Mo- scrutiny either job must face. She proved $700,000 a year, in Matranga’s estimation, bile County pisses more than a few people off — mostly that fear justified when the Feds recorded instead of saving taxpayers the money. people who hope to get in on the grift in some way. But her talking about ways to keep the County That issue should enter into the mind of hey, that’s what I get paid to do, so if you don’t like it, Commission from finding out how much a public official who is truly concerned pick up what’s left of the other newspaper and check out money was in License Commission cof- about saving money and efficiency. “Peanuts.” (Spoiler — she moves the ball.) fers, along with forcing a contractor to pay In this case it’s hard to see why Wilcox It’s been another eventful week in local backroom for her political efforts to consolidate the would choose to take up the banner of politics. Gary Tanner, who served as Mobile County Com- offices, among other things. Just because someone who was under indictment on a munications District director for roughly two-and- a-half Hastie was able to squirm out of convic- multitude of charges last year, was showed years, got the boot last Thursday after the MCCD — bet- tion doesn’t make the facts that were to have attempted to conceal financial ter known as “the 911 Board” — board of directors read presented any less true. information from the County Commis- the findings of an internal investigation and decided they So now the big money saver Margie sion, definitely used a contractor to pay for had “no confidence” in the former county commissioner. Wilcox is pushing consolidation again for her political activities, and who lied to the While the board has not yet released the investiga- her BFF. Margie doesn’t seem concerned public and media about it. And on top of tion’s findings, The Tan Man’s demise is almost certainly that winning her race for County Commis- that, Hastie appears to have overspent by linked to the $40 million communications enhancement sion would send her current seat back to a $700,000 a year for no real reason. project begun in 2012 that has been under intense scru- special election and cost taxpayers plenty If you got that resume, you’d probably tiny over the past two years. After board member Trey of money, but she’s hot to get Kim more toss it in the can. But Wilcox is pushing Oliver raised questions about the contract with Harris power. to give her friend more power at the same Communications, and plenty of media interest, it was If this were really about saving money, time she is running for a position where determined last year at least $5 million of the contract Wilcox might take a harder look at things she would be in charge of monitoring was unnecessary and unwanted. Ouch. first. Number one, she would ask herself if Hastie’s finances. Genius. Tanner’s firing comes as little surprise since the Hastie is really that great a manager. Yes, As I said before, there’s always a workings of the 911 Board have all the marks of Mobile she got the hallowed “Ten-Minute Tags” struggle in Mobile County to keep the County backroom wheeling and dealing at its finest. The to work, but Nick Matranga wasn’t filling grifters out of positions where they can bid for the project barely passed the sniff test, extraneous Hastie’s old spot long when he saved the feed off the public. Things may have components were added to the contract and a warehouse taxpayers $700,000 a year by firing APL gotten a little better at the 911 Board, but with $5 million in unused radios was even “discovered” Software. Just so happens APL owner there are plenty of battles left. last year. The District Attorney’s Office is also suppos- edly looking into things, so it was a good time for Tanner to go. Tanner’s hand-picked Deputy Director Charlie Mc- T HEG ADFLY Nichol will run the show temporarily, but while I have nothing against McNichol, it makes much better sense to get someone who has lived far away from the cesspool of South Mobile County politics to fill the director’s chair permanently. And speaking of that cesspool, would-be Mobile County Commissioner Margie Wilcox showed once again this past week why voters should be very wary of putting her in any position where she can work hand-in- hand with best friend Kim Hastie. Though she fiercely wants to leave her position as a state representative, Wilcox is once again sponsoring a bill to consolidate the county’s License Commission with the Revenue Com- mission, where Hastie now serves. She touts the plan as a money saver, but when she was questioned during Hastie’s corruption trial last year, Wilcox didn’t seem to have the slightest idea about ei- ther commission’s finances or how the move would save money. In fact, in the first version of the previous bill she pushed, Hastie’s salary would have skyrocketed. I’m not personally against consolidating departments such as revenue and license. In fact, I’m actually in favor of just making them like other county departments and getting rid of the politico in charge. It’s hard to think of

a single good reason we need elected officials in either Cartoon/Laura Rasmussen of those positions, especially since neither is required to Former employees of the Mobile Housing Board hold open meetings or speak to the public (or media) on will receive an appropriate severance package.

12 | LAGNIAPPE | February 11, 2016 - February 17, 2016 COMMENTARYTHE HIDDEN AGENDA Kudos and kooties make their way to Mobtown BY ASHLEY TRICE/EDITOR | [email protected]

lot of publications like ours do a section baby-butt smooth, but when Mayor Stimpson called “Brickbats and Bouquets,” where announced they were asking the City Council for they lament over or laud what’s going on $2 million this week to restore some of the city’s in the local landscape and/or leadership, horribly sad, broken-down sidewalks, I wanted throwinga metaphorical bricks at the bad actors/ to put my running shoes on and go turn my ankle actions and giving “bouquets” to the good ones. I one last time in celebration! like the idea, but am not fond of the name as it is My partner in slow running and I decided to too violent and flagrantly frou-frou for my tastes. run around the Village of Spring Hill’s fancy Don’t get me wrong, I am totally going to sidewalks one afternoon a few weeks ago and I’ll rip off this idea, as there is no need to reinvent have to say, once you don’t run on cracked, you the wheel. But I am going to go with something never want to go back! RRRROOOOOWWWW. “klassier” like “Kudos and Kooties.” And yes, we Spring Hill, girl, your sidewalks are so sexy! (The are spelling our cooties with a “k” because they “hills” were enough to make us appreciate the are special little buggers. They are really quite flat — albeit ridiculous — sidewalks of MiMo. sweet. They just bite a little, barely leaving a #wearenotflojo). Though the council is currently mark. (And obviously it goes better with Kudos.) bickering over which contractor will perform such So anyway, let’s see who is getting kudos-ed restoration, I feel certain they will come to an and who is getting kootied in this inaugural edi- agreement soon and we will be seeing significant tion…. improvements. During the last mayoral election between incumbent Sam Jones and challenger Sandy Water Street transformation Stimpson, I was not shy, nor were several of On Tuesday, Feb. 16, the council unanimously my colleagues at this newspaper, in saying we voted on the mayor’s plan to transform Water thought it was time for a change. As we wrote Street to “Mobile’s gateway,” making it more opinion columns about this, we were called nasty visually and pedestrian friendly, while giving us names by Jones’ supporters and our motives for more access to the waterfront and the attractions such columns were questioned. Hey, I’m not on it. And all of this, for the relatively small price whining — it’s politics, that’s just part of it. of $283,459. You can check out some of the plans And I don’t want to rehash history, but it on the city’s Facebook page. They look pretty wasn’t personal, which was what was charged. darn cool. Kudos! This is the kind of vision I am No, the reason I wanted change was because there talking about! Boom! seemed be a lack thereof under the Jones adminis- OK, so I do have one small KOOTIE to let tration, a stagnation, if you will. loose on Mayor Stimpson. Just a baby kootie, Areas of the city that were languishing seemed really. to have no real hope of being improved and there were rarely — if ever — any exciting new initia- The endorsement tives unveiled. It just seemed like things were I know politicos endorse other politicos. And “managed” and that was about it. I just really I know Sen. Richard Shelby has been in office craved a leader who had a vision for the city and literally almost longer than I have been alive and could rally the troops to buy into this vision. he does dutifully bring back the delicious pork we So far, the Stimpson administration and the crave, evidenced by his name etched on every- council during his term have pretty much deliv- thing that will stand still. ered on the change I wanted to see. I am excited And while we don’t like to admit it, we’re about my city again. gluttons for the bacon — everyone hates the pork So the first three KUDOS go to them for these unless it’s their own. And I know he has all the recently announced projects: choice appointments and seniority to get us said pork and the projects pushed through that we all City spearheads Three Mile Creek want. I get it. I really do. Trail project I wish that was his ad campaign: “Just give me In January, the administration announced it one more term, maybe two, if I am still breath- would spearhead the initiative to build a 12-mile ing, and I will wrap things up and secure all the greenway from Mobile Bay to the University sweet shiz we need for the state and then I will of South Alabama along Three Mile Creek. The pass the torch.” (I mean, obviously we will clean Mobile Greenway Initiative has been working to the language up a little, add some music and show bring this project to fruition but the city’s com- a nest of baby yellowhammers or something, but mitment to use its resources to develop a strategic this will be the basic gist.) plan and help identify funding sources among the But instead we got a campaign that was insult- private and public sectors is the kind of take- ing to any Alabamian with an IQ over 30. (And charge leadership I can “kudos” all day long and yes there are more than a few of us.) twice on Sundays. I have never seen so many people enraged I have gushed about this project before but by a political ad. But it is so icky and now with it is going to be such a tremendous asset to our his endorsement, Shelby is rubbin’ a little ick on city. Anyone who has had access to a big jogging/ Stimpson. walking trail in an urban setting can attest to how Because now, I have to imagine my mayor fabulous it is. I can’t wait to jog my amazing ridin’ around the back roads of ‘Bama, takin’ 13-minute mile up and down this LED-lighted shortcuts, perhaps up to the mayor’s huntin’ camp corridor. (It should only take a couple of hours. to eat turducken’ and talk about campaignin’ and Oh wait, that’s just one-way. Yikes! OK, I kootied endorsin’, maybe do a little fishin’, until it’s time myself there.) to go back to Warshintin’, where hopefully he can find a freakin’ G again! Ick! Now my blood pres- Sidewalks finally get some attention sure is up again. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! The Sigh. only announcement that would have made me We shall see what happens in the primary. If more excited was if Ann Street was going to be Shelby loses, he can thank whoever produced resurfaced to a state that would be described as those ads.

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 13 COMMENTARYDEXTER & UNION Learning the ropes BY ADAM POWELL/COLUMNISTS

et me be upfront. I’ve not been long on the corner of Dexter bly asked about his upcoming trial and how it would affect the Chambliss (R-Prattville), makes aggravated abuse of a child from and Union, that shady spot in downtown Montgomery legislative session. infancy to 6 years old a Class A felony and SB22 would allow where the wheels of Alabama politics are ever turning, but Among House Republicans’ priorities are balancing the budget, prosecutors to charge those who kill a child as a result of aggra- I’ve learned to adapt fast. Doing so is paramount as other- pension reform, giving tax credits to small businesses and raises vated abuse with murder. Lwise, you may wind up beneath the heel of a shiny, leather shoe. to teachers and restricting the flow of Syrian refugees to the state. Last week the partisan sparks started to fly, particularly in The lobby of the Alabama State House is like a train terminal Budget hearings were also underway, reinforcing everyone’s the House. On Tuesday, Rep. Mark Tuggle (R-Alexander City) — well-dressed men and women glide calmly through the metal fear that this year may call for another round of special sessions. introduced SB38, which gives the power of filling the position detectors before making that mad dash to the elevator, jumping The collective sigh from everyone in the State House was pal- of Taxpayer Advocate to the governor. The House Black Caucus off at the House on the fifth floor, the Senate on the seventh or the pable as the hearings dragged on and more and more red ink was immediately began railing against the bill, calling it a racial ploy press room on the third. uncovered — the Department of Education needs an additional to get rid of the black woman currently holding the position, but A herd of senators and representatives, lobbyists and depart- $300 million; Medicaid needs another $157 million; law en- it passed with ease by a margin of 70 to 33. Another bill, SB36 ment heads, all in perpetual motion and never-ending conver- forcement needs an extra $23 million — all while the thought of by Rep. Kyle South, which gives a $1,500 tax break to small sation, on their way to committee hearings and meetings and balancing the books with dollars from the Education Trust Fund is businesses for every new hire making more than $40,000 a year, sessions and a million other places. becoming more disgusting by the day. garnered the ire of House Dems as well, for giving a tax break And then there’s the Capitol Press Corps, easily identifiable As the session began, the first order of business for Senate after raising taxes last year. Again, the legislation passed by a by the wind-tossed hair and heavy breath from sprinting between members was to pass a resolution commending the University of margin of 88 to 12. the Capitol and the State House, lugging cameras and tripods and Alabama for winning this year’s BCS National Championship. The flurry of activity continued Feb. 10 as a repeal of Com- laptops and notepads and recorders back and forth all day. Within 30 minutes, both chambers had adjourned for the day. At mon Core failed to get through committee, though the addition Before the session even started Feb. 2, big legislation was first, this would seem like the work of the lazy employee who of a civics test as part of graduation requirements did pass, and already making its way through the proper channels. State Sen. fakes sick so he can go home early and sit on the couch. But in a lottery bill failed in one committee but passed in another. The Jim McLendon (R-Springville) and State Rep. Alan Harper (R- reality, the first day of session is little more than a formality — the House Committee on State Government also green lighted a bill Northport) held a press conference to announce their filing of a work of debating and passing bills can’t begin until those bills to prohibit city governments from raising their minimum wage. bill aimed at giving Alabama citizens the opportunity to vote on a wind through the various committees tasked with looking them On Thursday, the Senate passed a slew of Sunset Law bills lottery. The bill made no mention of where the proceeds from said over before they hit the floor. And on Wednesdays, this is how our and confirmed a number of people to a variety of positions. lottery would go, only that Alabamians would be able to lodge lawmakers are busying themselves. Further, they passed a resolution commending Ken Stabler for their opinion via referendum. That night, Gov. Robert Bentley gave his annual “State of the his induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame and passed a law And though that bit of legislation was the only one warranting State” address in the old House Chambers, laying out his ambi- prohibiting municipalities from adding regulatory hurdles to the a press conference, a variety of bills inevitably started pouring in: tious “Great State 2019” plan, calling for increasing broadband purchase of guns, ammo or permits. bills allowing guns to be carried on college campuses, outlaw- connectivity and access to quality health care in rural areas. He Meanwhile, the House was again at each other’s throats over ing the sale of fetal tissue, decriminalizing the possession of a also called for increasing the number of Alabamians who attend a bill from Rep. Arnold Mooney (R-Birmingham) to declare marijuana-based medicine and more. college and reforming the state’s overwhelmed prison system. Alabama’s status as a “Right to Work” state in the Constitution. Days before the session, House Republicans held a press On Feb. 3, the Senate Judiciary Committee gave a favorable Unlike the usual battles, Democrats were able to defeat the bill conference to announce their own agenda. Leading the conference report to two bills aimed at strengthening sentencing guidelines and see a vote delayed on legislation from Rep. April Weaver (R- was embattled House Speaker Mike Hubbard, who was inevita- for aggravated child abuse. SB23, sponsored by Sen. Clyde Shelby) to outlaw the sale of fetal tissue.

14 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 COMMENTARYTHE BELTw AY BEAT When Cam is held to a higher standard than Trump, Hillary BY JEFF POOR/COLUMNIST | [email protected]

here probably has never been a more In Biloxi last month, he managed to gin up polarizing figure in Alabama over the the bulk of the 13,000 near-capacity crowd at course of my lifetime than former the Mississippi Coast Coliseum to boo a lone Auburn University quarterback Cam CNN cameraman for not panning the crowd to TNewton. In this state, you either really love show what a big draw Trump was. him or you really hate him based on your col- He’s gone after other members of the media legiate allegiances. regularly by name. All of this has been ap- For Auburn fans, he is close to a deity for plauded by his supporters. his heroics during the 2010 football season, Remember Trump’s big event at Ladd- including a remarkable 28-27 come-from- Peebles Stadium last August? Trump was a behind win in Tuscaloosa. For many Alabama no-show for his post-event news conference. fans (including notorious tree-poisoner Harvey As for Clinton, she hasn’t been as ag- Updyke), he is a subhuman lowlife who gressive in taking on the media. But she has robbed their beloved Crimson Tide of the 2010 attempted to micromanage the media over the Iron Bowl, thus depriving Alabama of a shot at another national championship. years, and sadly a lot of reporters have played Although Newton only played at Auburn along. A Freedom of Information Act request University one season, Auburn claims him in 2009 revealed Clinton staffers wanted as their own since he ultimately did graduate specific language describing a Clinton policy from the university with a degree in sociology. speech as “muscular” used in a story written Fast-forward five years. Although it took a by The Atlantic’s Marc Ambinder or he would few seasons, Newton’s taken his on-field hero- be denied access. ics to Charlotte, North Carolina, where earlier On the campaign trail, unlike a lot of the this month he gave the Carolina Panthers a other candidates Clinton does not make herself chance at winning Super Bowl 50. available to the media in news conference- It didn’t end well for Newton and the type forums. Her media availability has mostly Panthers. They lost to the Denver Broncos 24- consisted of one-on-one interviews with local 10 in a defensive struggle. Newton had a bad and national media in the heat of the race for game with a few costly turnovers. the nomination. But it wasn’t Newton’s on-field perfor- It’s not just Trump and Hillary. The other mance that had a lot of people clutching their candidates have been hostile toward the pearls. It was his postgame press conference, media, especially on the Republican side. where he half-heartedly answered a few ques- Sometimes it’s justified, as was the case with tions before walking away from the podium. arguably the breakout moment for Sen. Ted “Sulky,” “classless,” “petulant” — those Cruz (R-Texas) back in October during a GOP were some of the words to describe Newton’s debate moderated by CNBC. behavior. Over the following week, both sports and “Let me say something at the outset,” Cruz national media excoriated him. How dare he said. “The questions asked in this debate il- dab all season and then grumble when the time lustrate why the American people don’t trust came for him to answer for his shortcomings? the media. This is not a cage match.” Fair enough. Acting like members of the press are But are we really, as a nation, going to delicate flowers we must revere is nonsense, be upset over a professional football player whether in politics or sports. Certainly in an refusing to eagerly take questions from the ideal world, a high-profile person — be it an media? The last I checked, journalism was NFL quarterback seeking to get another high- a profession that polls very poorly, down at dollar sponsorship deal selling Greek yogurt or the level of lawyers, politicians and business someone wanting to be the leader of the free executives, according to a 2013 Pew Research world — would make themselves available to Center poll. reporters writing for print newspapers. Nonetheless, two weeks later we’re still It is as if post-event press conferences talking about it. Newton has since made no are the be-all and end-all of journalism. We apologies, going so far as to say, “Show me a wouldn’t want the five people relying on As- good loser and I’ll show you a loser.” sociated Press stories in their morning local Based on the backlash aimed at Newton, newspapers to go without knowing the Denver one would surmise that, win or lose, profes- Broncos won the Super Bowl or that Donald sional athletes must stand to account before Trump is leading the Republican field of presi- the media. dential candidates, right? That seems like a high standard, given it is If you compare apples to apples, there’s a hardly a standard for the 2016 presidential field, clear double standard for professional athletes despite candidates’ thirst for media attention. and politicians. The two party front-runners, Republican Do you still think it is an international presidential candidate Donald Trump and incident Cam Newton walked out of a press Democratic presidential candidate Hillary conference after the Super Bowl and did not Clinton, have hardly gone out of their way to give the media masters of the universe their play nice with news media. proper allotment of time? Regularly, Trump will taunt members of Please spare me your misguided righteous the media covering his rallies during the rally. indignation.

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 15 BUSINESSTHE REAL DEAL Broetje Automation to open Brookley location BY RON SIVAK/COLUMNIST | [email protected]

roetje Automation-USA — based in Williamsville, New offers a broad spectrum of turnkey solutions, from single-office, and joining the downtown “tech corridor” on St. Louis Street. York, near Buffalo — announced plans to expand locally common-use services to build-to-suit, lease-back programs. Above and Beyond Hot Yoga recently opened a new studio with the opening of a new office at the Mobile Aeroplex at 878 Hillcrest Road, Suite C, in West Mobile. at Brookley. Commercial real estate moves Orange Theory Fitness recently leased a 600-square-foot bThe company intends to provide equipment design and final Stirling Properties’ local commercial real estate office space located at 3664-B Airport Blvd. in Yester Oaks Shopping assembly technologies in support of the Airbus U.S. manufac- recently announced two new tenants and one renewal occupant Center. turing facility. within the Bel Air Office Tower, located at 851 I-65 Service “We are excited that our early commitment to an aerospace Road and adjacent to The Shoppes at Bel Air. Island club listed on National Register of incubator at our campus once again proved to be of value to Air- The Alabama Department of Revenue will occupy a Historic Places bus’ evolving supply chain. Our solution is low cost and flexible 26,030-square-foot office space for a 15-year term lease with an The Isle Dauphine Club at 100 Orleans Drive, Dauphin and we are prepared to support their growth,” Roger Wehner, anticipated opening date sometime this summer. Island, was recently placed on the National Register of Historic executive director of the Mobile Airport Authority, said. Chicago, Illinois-based Bankers Life and Casualty Compa- Places, potentially making it eligible for historic rehabilitation Broetje’s M-Technologie division setting up at Brookley ny, which offers life insurance and retirement planning services, tax credits, should a substantial restoration take place, and other specializes in “small tool,” line-side equipment and processes is moving into a 4,399-square-foot location within the tower, required for the final assembly of aircraft. Roman Causse, national grants intended to preserve historic structures. opting for a five-year lease and anticipated to open sometime in It is hoped the Dauphin Island landmark will receive national project manager, will manage Broetje’s Mobile location and its March. attention that would increase visitation and facilitate an increase support team of technicians and engineers. Walker Jewelers will continue to occupy a 1,722-square-foot in local and national awareness of the property’s historical “Broetje Automation is a wonderful addition to our Airbus retail space at the property, renewing its lease for a three-year term. significance. Alabama A320 final assembly line project. This shows that our Jason Scott, senior sales and leasing executive with Stirling ongoing efforts are finally paying off,” Mobile County Commis- “The 1957 clubhouse, pool and golf course are largely intact Properties in Mobile, worked on behalf of the owner in coop- sion president Jerry Carl said. eration with Cushman & Wakefield/EGS Commercial Real and the property is still a functioning part of Dauphin Island Headquartered in Germany, Broetje Automation is a global Estate on all of the aforementioned transactions. recreation and culture,” according to Stephen McNair, owner of expert in aircraft manufacturing, assembly automation and Platinum Cleaning leased a 600-square-foot office/ware- McNair Historic Preservation Inc. robotics. Other services include assembly planning and layout, house space and new Orange Beach apartment community “Designed by T. Howard Ellis and Arch Winter with assis- manufacturing process and efficiency analysis, computerized Sandy Shores Village leased a 1,200-square-foot office space tance from Carl Burmeister, the classic mid-century design is a process simulation, operator and maintenance training, and on- inside Wolf Bay Plaza on Canal Road in Orange Beach. The rare example in Alabama of a unique marriage of form, function location manufacturing support. 27,000-square-foot shopping center only has one 900-square-foot and setting,” McNair said. “The defining circular characteristics Established in 1980, the Mobile Airport Authority operates the office/warehouse spot remaining, according toMichael Wilson and floor-to-ceiling windows provide for a seamless experience, Mobile Regional Airport, a 3,000-acre commercial airport and in- allowing for a view of the surrounding dunes and water within dustrial complex, the Mobile Aeroplex at Brookley and the adjacent with White-Spunner Realty, who handled both transactions. Mobile Downtown Airport, a combined 1,700-acre complex. Baton Rouge, Louisiana-based Wink Engineering recently the confines of a modernist design steeped in comfort.” Continental Motors, VT MAE, Star Aviation and their leased an 8,700-square-foot floor plan inside the newly reno- In 1957 T. Howard Ellis and Arch Winter received an award partner company Aerostar all call the Aeroplex home and in vated Buick Building located at 455 St. Louis St. in downtown for their design by the Gulf States Region chapter of the Ameri- aggregate employ approximately 2,000 people. The authority Mobile. The firm is adding 25 to 30 high paying jobs to the area can Institute of Architects.

16 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 17 Open for lunch, inside Gulfquest Homemade lunch & breakfast. DuMbWaiTer ($$-$$$) CoMpany ($) 155 S. Water St • 436-8901 104 N. Royal St. • 434-0011 Serving local seafood & produce Great & quick. GuLF CoaST expLoreuM CaFe ($) SaTori CoFFeeHouSe ($) 167 Dauphin St. • 458-9573 274 Dauphin St. • 545-3161 2502 Schillinger Homemade soups & sandwiches Coffee, smoothies, lunch & beers. kiTCHen on GeorGe ($-$$) Rd. Ste. 2 • 725-0126 6890 US-90 (Daphne) • 65 Government St • 208-6815 5460 Old Shell Rd. • 344-4575 Contemporary American food. 621-2271 THe HouSe ($-$$) SerDa’S CoFFeeHouSe ($) 351A George & Savannah St. • 436-8890 MinT HookaH biSTro ($) Seafood, sandwiches, salads & soups. Coffee, lunches, live music & gelato. LeGaCy bar & GriLL ($$$) Great Mediterranean food. 4513 Old Shell Rd. • 408-9622 3 Royal St. S. • 415-3000 American, Seafood,Stekhouse. 5951 Old Shell Rd. • 450-9191 $ unDer THe HunGry oWL ($) SpoT oF Tea ($) 9 Du Rhu Dr. S. • 341-3370 oLLie’S MeDiTerranean GriLL ($-$$) Burgers, flatbread pizza & seafood. Mobile’s favorite spot for breakfast & MaGHee’S GriLL on THe HiLL ($-$$) Mediterranean restaurant and hookah $10/perSon 7899 Cottage Hill Rd. • 340-2522 lunch. Great lunch & dinner. 1248 Hillcrest St • 634-9820 $$ 10-25/perSon JaMaiCan vibe ($) 306 Dauphin St. • 433-9009. $$$ over 25/perSon 3607 Old Shell Rd. • 445-8700 Mind-blowing island food. STevie’S kiTCHen ($) nobLe SouTH ($$) 3700 Gov’t Blvd. Ste A • 602-1973 Sandwiches, soups, salads & more. Local ingredients Far eaSTern Fare JerSey Mike’S ($) 41 West i-65 Service rd. n Suite 150. 203 Dauphin St. • 690-6824 baMboo biSTro ($$) CoMpLeTeLy Authentic sub sandwiches THe SunFLoWer CaFe ($) noJa ($$-$$$) Asian Cuisine. 7449 Airport Blvd • 375-1820 Inside Virginia’s Health Food Inventive & very fresh cuisine. 3662 Airport Blvd. • 378-5466 CoMForTabLe JiMMy JoHn’S ($) 3055 A Dauphin St • 479-3200 all Sports bar & grill ($) 6 N. Jackson St. • 433-0377 baMboo FuSion ($$) Sandwiches, catering & delivery too. Tin rooF ($-$$) oSMan’S reSTauranT ($$) Asian Cuisine. Classic hotdogs, gyros & milkshakes. 6920 Airport Blvd. • 414-5444 3408 Pleasant Valley Rd • 345-9338 Southern casual family dining Supreme European cuisine. 2400 Airport Blvd. • 307-5535 9 Du Rhu Dr. • 340-8694, 62 B Royal St• 432-0360 10800 US hwy 31 • 609-1949 2579 Halls Mill Rd. • 479-0006 baMboo STeakHouSe ($$) aL’S HoTDoGS ($) Joe Cain CaFé ($) Tp CroCkMierS ($) Classic hotdogs, gyros & milkshakes. royaL SCaM ($$) Sushi Bar. 4701 Airport Blvd. • 342-3243 Pizzas, sandwiches, cocktails. American Restaurant & Bar Gumbo, Angus beef & bar. 650 Cody Rd. S • 300-8383 26 N. Royal St. • 338-2000 250 Dauphin St. • 476-1890 72. S. Royal St. • 432-SCAM (7226) banGkok THai ($-$$) aTLanTa breaD CoMpany ($-$$) LoDa bier GarTen ($) THree GeorGeS CanDy SHop ($) Sandwiches, salads & more. ruTH’S CHriS STeak HouSe ($$$) Delicious, traditional Thai cuisine. 3680 Dauphin St. • 380-0444 Pub food and draft beers Light lunch with Southern flair. Exceptional service & taste. 3821 Airport Blvd. • 344-9995 251 Dauphin St • 287-6871 226 Dauphin St. • 433-6725 271 Glenwood St. • 476-0516 banzai JapaneSe reSTauranT ($$) bake My Day ($) MaMa’S ($) TropiCaL SMooTHie ($) Old-fashioned southern bake shop SaGe reSTauranT ($$) Traditional sushi & lunch. 156 N. McGregor Ave • 219-7261 Slap your mama good home cooking. Great smoothies, wraps & sandwiches. Inside the Mobile Marriott. 312 Schillinger Rd. • 633-9077 220 Dauphin St. • 432-6262 Du Rhu Dr. • 378-5648 3101 Airport Blvd. • 476-6400 benJaS ($) THe bLinD MuLe ($) MarS HiLL CaFe ($) 570 Schillinger Road • 634-3454 Daily specials made from scratch. SaiSHo ($-$$) Thai & Sushi Great sandwiches, coffee & more. unCLe JiMMy’S DeLiCiouS HoTDoGS ($) Modern gastropub inspired by Japanese 5369 D Hwy 90 W • 661-5100 57 N. Claiborne St. • 694-6853. 1087 Downtowner Blvd. • 643-1611 bob’S Diner ($) Hotdogs. kitchen CHarM ($-$$) Mary’S SouTHern CookinG ($) 2550 Dauphin Island Pkwy S. • 307-5328 455 Dauphin St • 433-0376 Good old American cooking Thai kitchen and sushi bar Southern Cooking. WareHouSe bakery & DonuTS ($) union ($$$) 960 Schillinger Rd. S • 660-4470 263 St. Francis St • 405-1497 3011 Springhill Ave. • 476-2232 CaFe 219 ($) Coffee and donuts Premium steaks & burgers. CuiSine oF inDia ($$) MiCHeLi’S CaFe ($) 759 Nichols Avenue, Fairhope • 928-7223 659 Dauphin St. • 432-0300 Salads, sandwiches & potato salad. Lunch Buffet Café. WiLD WinG STaTion ($) von’S biSTro ($-$$) 3674 Airport Blvd. • 341-6171 219 Conti St. • 438-5234 6358 Cottage Hill Rd. • 725-6917 CaMeLLia CaFé ($-$$$) Wings. Seafood, Asian and American Cuisine GoLDen boWL ($) MCSHarry’S ($-$$) 1500 Gov’t St. • 287-1526 69 St. Michael St • 375-1113 Contemporary southern fare. Hibachi Grill & Asian Cuisine. Authentic Irish Pub yak THe kaTHManDu kiTCHen TaMara’S DoWnToWn ($$) 309 Bel Air Blvd • 470-8033 61 Section St., Fairhope • 928-4321 101 N. Bancroft St • 990-5100 ($-$$) CaMMie’S oLD DuTCH ($) Casual fine dining. HibaCHi 1 ($-$$) Miko’S iTaLian iCe ($) Authentic foods from Himalayan region. 104 N. Section St., Fairhope • 929-2219 Mobile’s classic ice cream spot. Asian Cuisine. Hotdogs Sandwiches & Cool Treats 3210 Dauphin St. • 287-0115 400 Eastern Shore THe TreLLiS rooM ($$$) 2370 Hillcrest Rd. Unit B • 380-6062 2511 Old Shell Rd. • 471-1710 3371 Dauphin Island Pkwy • 300–4015 Center • 459-2862 Carpe DieM ($) Contemporary Southern Cuisine kai JapaneSe reSTauranT ($-$$) MoMMa GoLDberG’S DeLi ($) Battle House Hotel, Royal St. • 338-5493 Deli foods, pastries & specialty drinks. Asian Cuisine. Sandwiches & Momma’s Love. zea’S ($$) 5045 Cottage Hill Rd. • 607-6454 4072 Old Shell Rd. • 304-0448 3696 Airport Blvd. • 344-9500 CHaT-a-Way CaFe ($) ‘Cue Gourmet rotisserie. Prime rib & seafood. LiQuiD ($$) 5602 Old Shell Rd. • 287-6556 baCkyarD CaFe & bbQ ($) 4671 Airport Blvd. • 344-7414 Quiches & sandwiches. MonTeGo’S ($-$$) Amazing sushi & assortment of rolls. 4366 Old Shell Rd. • 343-9889 Home cookin’ like momma made. 661 Dauphin St. • 432-0109 CHiCken SaLaD CHiCk ($) Fresh Caribbean-style food & craft beer. 2804 Springhill Ave. • 473-4739 riCe aSian GriLL & SuSHi bar ($) 6601 Airport Blvd. • 634-3445 bar-b-QuinG WiTH My Honey ($$) a LiTTLe vino Chicken Salad, Salad & Soup. 225 Dauphin Street • 375-1576 Sushi Bar. BBQ, burgers, wings & seafood DoMke MarkeT 3964 Gov’t Blvd. • 378-8083 2370 S. Hillcrest Rd. Unit R • 660-0501, 5753 MoSTLy MuFFinS ($) Old Shell Road • 408-3236, 19170 Hwy 43 Mt. Vernon. • 839-9927 Wine, Beer, Gourmet foods, & more. roCk n roLL SuSHi ($$) Muffins, coffee & wraps. briCk piT ($) 720 Schillinger Rd. S. Unit 8 • 287-1851 1802 US Hwy 98 Suite F• 625-1092 105 Dauphin St. • 433-9855 Sushi CHi-ToWn DaWGz ($) A favorite barbecue spot. FaTHoMS LounGe 273 S. McGregor Ave • 287-0555, neWk’S expreSS CaFe ($) A tapas restaurant, cocktails & live music. Chicago Style Eatery 5456 Old Shell Rd. • 343-0001 6345 Airport Blvd. • 287-0555, Oven-baked sandwiches & more. CoTTon STaTe bbQ ($) 64 S. Water St. • 438-4000 940 Industrial Pkwy • 308-2158 1222 Hillcrest Rd. • 461-6599 252 Azalea Rd. • 341-3533, Downtown Lunch pour baby DaupHin ST. CaFe ($) 1335 Satchel Page Dr. Suite C. • 287-7356, TaSTe oF THai ($$) 101 N. Conception St. • 545-4682 Wine bar, craft beers & bistro Thai Cuisine. Hot Lunch, daily menu (Inside Via) 7440 Airport Blvd. • 633-0096, 6808 Airport Blvd. • 343-3555 1717 Dauphin St. • 470-5231 DreaMLanD bbQ ($) 9091 US-90 Irvington • 957-1414 30500 State Hwy 181 #132 • 625-6544 FireHouSe Wine bar & SHop CreaM & SuGar ($) panini peTe’S ($) Ribs, sandwiches & great sides. Tokyo JapaneSe STeak HouSe ($$) 3314 Old Shell Rd. • 479-9898 Wine Shop. Upscale sushi & hibachi. Breakfast, lunch & Ice cream too. Original sandwich and bake shop. 216 St Francis St. • 421-2022 351 George St. #B • 405-0003 Moe’S oriGinaL bar b Que ($) 364 Azalea Rd. • 343-6622 42 ½ Section St., Fairhope • 929-0122 reD or WHiTe D’ MiCHaeL’S ($) 102 Dauphin St. • 405-0031 Barbeque & music. WaSabi SuSHi ($$) Bayfront Park Dr., Daphne • 625-RIBS Wine Shop. Japanese cuisine. Philly cheese steaks, gyros & more. paT’S DoWnToWn GriLL ($) 323A De La Mare Ave, Fairhope • 990-0003 7101-A Theodore Dawes Rd. • 653-2979 701 Springhill Ave. • 410-7427 3654 Airport Blvd. S. C • 725-6078 Bar food DeLiSH DeSSerTS ($) 4672 Airport Blvd. • 300-8516 1104 Dauphin St.. • 478-9494 pHo yen ($) 271 Dauphin St • 438-9585 SauCy Q barbQue ($) royaL STreeT Tavern Great desserts & hot lunch. pDQ ($) Authentic Vietnamese cuisine. 23 Upham St. • 473-6115 Award-winning BarBQue. Live music, martinis & dinner menu. 763 Holcombe Ave. • 478-5814 Chicken fingers, salad & sandwiches. DeW Drop inn ($) 1111 Gov’t Blvd. • 433-7427 26 N. Royal St. • 338-2000 1165 University Blvd. • 202-0959 SMokey DeMbo SMoke HouSe ($) SouTHern napa Classic burgers, hotdogs & setting. piTa piT ($) 1808 Old Shell Rd. • 473-7872. 3758 Dauphin Island Pkwy. • 473-1401 Bistro plates, craft beers and pantry. FroM THe DepTHS Pitas. Tilmo’s bbQ ($) 2304 Main St. • 375-2800 bauDean’S ($$) Dunkin DonuTS ($) 211 Dauphin St. • 690-7482 FaST bbQ W/ Drive-THru Fried, grilled, steamed & always fresh. Donuts, coffee and sandwiches poLLMan’S bakery ($) 1976 Michigan Ave • 442-4846, 3876 Airport 3249 Dauphin St. • 652-3508 3300 River Rd. • 973-9070 Bakery, sandwiches and more THe bLueGiLL ($-$$) Blvd • 219-7369, 505 Schillinger Rd. S. • 442- 750 S. Broad St • 438-1511, FaLaFeL? Try SoMe A historic seafood dive w/ live music. 3775 4845, 29160 US Hwy 98 • 621-2228 4464 Old Shell Road • 342-8546, e WinG HouSe ($) HuMMuS Hwy. 98 • 625-1998 107 St. Francis St. Suite 102 • 438-2261 Drop DeaD GourMeT 7 SpiCe ($-$$) boneFiSH GriLL ($$) Wings. Queen G’S CaFé ($) bay GourMeT ($$) 195 S University Suite H • 662-1829. Healthy, delicious Mediterranean food. Eclectic dining & space. Down home cooking for lunch. A premier caterer & cooking classes. 3762 Airport Blvd. • 725-1177 FireHouSe SubS ($) 1880-A Airport Blvd. • 450-9051 6955 Airport Blvd. • 633-7196 2518 Old Shell Rd. • 471-3361 abba’S MeDiTerranean CaFe bouDreaux’S CaJun GriLL ($-$$) Hot subs, cold salads & catering. reGina’S kiTCHen ($-$$) biSTro eSCoFFie ($$) 6300 Grelot Rd. • 631-3730 ($-$$) Quality Cajun & New Orleans Cuisine. Sandwiches, subs and soups. Fine dining French fare. Five GuyS burGerS & FrieS ($) 1714 Dauphin St. • 450-2030 Beef, lamb & seafood. 29249 US Highway 98 Daphne. • 621-1991 2056 Gov’t St. • 476-2777 4356 Old Shell Rd. • 340-6464 Cravin CaJun/Dip SeaFooD($) Burgers, milkshakes & fries roLy poLy ($) briQueTTeS STeakHouSe ($-$$) 4401 Old Shell Rd. • 447-2394, 4363 Airport iSTanbuL GriLL ($) Po-boys, salads & seafood. Wraps & salads. Grilled steaks, chicken & seafood. 720A Blvd. • 661-0071, 5319 Hwy 90 • 660-0071, Schillinger Rd. S. S2. • 607-7200, Authentic Turkish & Mediterranean 1870 Dauphin Island Pkwy • 287-1168 3220 Dauphin St. • 479-2480 3702 Airport Blvd. • 461-6901 eD’S SeaFooD SHeD ($$) 1225 Satchel Page Dr., E100 • 378-8768 roSie’S GriLL ($-$$) 901 Montlimar Dr • 408-3133 FooSaCkLy’S ($) CaFé 615 ($$-$$$) JeruSaLeM CaFe ($-$$) Fried seafood served in hefty portions. Sandwiches, southwest fare, 7 days. 3382 Hwy. 98 • 625-1947 Famous chicken fingers. American fare with local ingredients. Mobile’s oldest Middle Eastern cuisine. 1203 Hwy 98 Ste. 3D, Daphne • 626-2440 5773 Airport Blvd. • 304-1155 FeLix’S FiSH CaMp ($$) 310 S. University Blvd. • 343-0047 2250 Airport royaL kniGHT ($) 615 Dauphin St. • 432-8434 Blvd. • 479-2922 7641 Airport Blvd. • 607-7667 Corner 251 ($-$$) kan zaMan ($-$$) Upscale dining with a view. Lunch & dinner. 1420 Hwy. 98 • 626-6710 2558 Schillinger Rd. • 219-7761 3249 Dauphin High quality food and drinks Mediterranean food and hookah 3004 Gov’t Blvd • 287-1220 326 Azalea Rd • 229-4206 FiSHerMan’S LeGaCy ($) St. • 479-2000 royaL STreeT CaFe ($) 251 Government St • 460-3157 THe GaLLey ($) MeDiTerranean SanDWiCH Deli, market and catering.

18 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 MuDbuGS aT THe Loop ($) Brilliant Reubens & Fish-N-Chips. 28691 U.S. Highway 98 • 626-1999 Taste of Mexico High Tide Café at IP Casino Resort Spa ($) Cajun Kitchen & seafood market. 101 N. Brancroft St. Fairhope • 990-5100 pinzone’S iTaLian DoWnToWn ($$) 880 Schillinger Rd. S. • 633-6122, Casual & relaxing, extensive menu. 2005 Government St. • 478-9897 MuG SHoTS ($$) Italian, catering, to-go. 5805 US 90 • 653-9163 raLpH & kaCoo’S ($-$$) Bar & Grill. 312 Fairhope Ave, Fairhope • 990-5535 LoS arCoS ($) beau rivaGe: The Seafood Restaurant! 6255 Airport Blvd. • 447-2514 pinzone’S iTaLian viLLaGe ($$) Quaint Mexican restaurant. 875 Beach Blvd. Biloxi • 888-952-2582 1595 Battleship Pkwy • 626-0045 oLD 27 GriLL ($) Authentic Italian dishes 5556 Old Shell Rd. • 345-7484 BR Prime at Beau Rivage ($$-$$$) r&r SeaFooD ($-$$) Burgers, dogs & 27 beers & wines. 312 Fairhope Ave, Fairhope • 990-5535 La CoCina ($) Fine dining establishment. Laid-back eatery and fish market 19992 Hwy.181 Old County Rd. Fairhope • 281-2663 raveniTe ($) Authentic Mexican cuisine. Jia at Beau Rivage ($-$$) 1477 Battleship Pkwy. • 621-8366 LuCky’S iriSH pub ($) Pizza, Pasta, Salad & more 4633 Airport Blvd. • 342-5553 Exotic cuisine. river SHaCk ($-$$) Irish pub fare & more. 102 N. Section St. • 929-2525 Maria boniTa aGave bar & GriLL ($-$$) Memphis Q at Beau Rivage ($) Seafood, burgers & steaks. 3692 Airport Blvd • 414-3000 pizzeria DeLFina ($) Mexican cuisine. Memphis-style Q. 6120 Marina Dr., Dog River • 443-7318. WeMoS ($) Pizza & Pasta 3977 Gov’t Blvd. • 660-4970 Coast Restaurant at Beau Rivage ($) Tin Top reSTauranT & oySTer bar ($$) Wings, tenders, hotdogs & sandwiches. 107 Dauphin St. • 375-1644 TaQueria MexiCo ($-$$) Sports bar-style joint. Seafood, Steaks, & extensive wine list. 312 Schillinger Rd. • 633-5877 roMa CaFe ($-$$) Authentic Mexican flavor. 6232 Bon Secour Hwy County Rd. 10. • 949-5086 Pasta, salad and sandwiches. 3733 Airport Blvd. • 414-4496 GranD CaSino: WinTzeLL’S oySTer HouSe ($-$$) 7143 Airport Blvd. • 341-7217 280 Beach Blvd. Biloxi • 800-946-2946 MaMa Mia! roMano’S MaCaroni GriLL ($$) Fresh seafood for over 75 years buCk’S pizza ($$) no GaMbLinG CaSino LB’s Steakhouse at Grand Casino ($$- 605 Dauphin St. • 432-4605 Italian. $$$) 6700 Airport Blvd. • 341-1111, Delivery. Springdale Mall 3250 Airport Blvd. • 450-4556 Fare Fine dining with steak & fine wine. 1208 Shelton Beach Rd., Saraland • 442-3335, 350 Dauphin St. • 431-9444 TaMara’S bar & GriLL ($) GaMbino broTHerS ($) WinD Creek CaSino: Cuu Long Super Pho at Grand Casino 805 S. Mobile St. • 929-2322 Wings, po-boys, burgers. 303 Poarch Rd. Atmore • 866-946-3360 Homemade pastas & sandwiches. 210 Eastern Shore Center, Hwy. 98 • 929-0002 ($$) 873 Hillcrest Ave. • 344-8115 Fire at Wind Creek Casino & Hotel ($$-$$$) Asian noodle soups, bubble teas & more. unCLe MaDDio’S pizza JoinT ($) Prime steaks, seafood & wine. GaMbino’S iTaLian GriLL ($) Homemade pizza & gourmet salads iS THe GaMe on? Italian, Steaks & Seafood. Grill at Wind Creek Casino & Hotel ($) iSLanD vieW: aSHLanD MiDToWn pub ($-$$) 7765 Airport Blvd. • 639-5010 Contemporary & old-fashioned favorites. 18 Laurel Ave. Fairhope • 990-0995 via eMiLia ($$) 3300 W. Beach Blvd. Biloxi • 877-774-8439 Pizzas, pastas, & calzones. GuiDo’S ($$) 245-A Old Shell Rd. • 479-3278 Homemade pastas & pizzas made daily. HarD roCk CaSino: Emeril’s Gulf Coast Fish House at Fresh cuisine nightly on menu. 5901 Old Shell Rd. • 342-3677 Island View Casino ($$-$$$) buFFaLo WiLD WinGS ($) 1709 Main St., Daphne • 626-6082 777 Beach Blvd.Biloxi • 877-877-6256 Best wings & sporting events. La roSSo ($$) Vibe at Hard Rock Hotel and Casino ($-$$) Kick it up a notch. 6341 Airport Blvd. • 378-5955 Fine surf, turf, atmosphere & cigars. C&G Grille at Island View Casino ($) Comfort food. buTCH CaSSiDy’S ($) 1716 Main St. Ste. C, Daphne • 281-2982 oLé Mi aMiGo! Ruth’s Chris Steak House at Hard Rock Large breakfast, lunch or dinner menu. Famous burgers, sandwiches & wings. MaCaroni GriLL ($$) azTeCaS ($-$$) Hotel & Casino ($$$) 60 N. Florida St. • 450-0690 Taste of Mexico Exceptional servie & taste. paLaCe CaSino: Small plates, pizzas, pastas and wine Hard Rock Café at Hard Rock Hotel and Callaghan’s irish Social Club ($) 3250 Airport Blvd. • 450-4556 5452 Hwy 90 W • 661-5509 158 Howard Ave. Biloxi • 800-725-2239 Casino ($) burGerS & beer. MeLLoW MuSHrooM ($) CaFé DeL rio ($-$$) Wahoo’s Poolside Bar & Grill at Palace 916 Charleston St. • 433-9374 Mouth watering Mexican food American fare & rockin’ memorabilia. Pies & awesome beer selection. Satisfaction at Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Resort ($-$$) Gulf Coast Wings ($-$$) 2032 Airport Blvd. • 471-4700 1175 Battleship Pkwy • 625-2722 WinGS, beerS anD DrinkS CinCo De Mayo ($) Casino ($) Fresh seafood & more. 5660 Old Shell Rd. • 380-1500 Southern favorites & fresh-smoked meats. Mignon’s at Palace Casino Resort 1850 Airport Blvd • 471-5520 navCo pizza ($$) Mexican cuisine Heroes Sports bar & Grille ($) 260 Azalea Rd. • 375-1095 ($$-$$$) Pizza, subs & pasta. ip CaSino: Extraordinary wine, steaks & seafood. SanDWiCHeS & CoLD beer. 1368 ½ Navco Rd.• 479-0066 DaupHin ST. TaQueria ($) 850 Bayview Ave. Biloxi • 888-946-2847 273 Dauphin St. • 433-4376 Enchiladas, tacos, & authentic fare. piCkLeFiSH ($$) Tien at IP Casino Resort Spa ($-$$) Hillcrest & Old Shell Rd. • 341-9464 661 Dauphin St. • 432-2453 TreaSure bay: Pizza, sandwiches & salads. Pan-Asian cuisine made in front of you. 1980 Beach Blvd. Biloxi • 800-747-2839 ManCiS ($) 5955 Old Shell Rd.• 344-9899 FueGo ($-$$) Highlights Sports Lounge at IP Casino The Den at Treasure Bay Burgers. papa’S pLaCe ($$) Outstanding Mexican cuisine. Resort Spa ($) 1715 Main St. • 375-0543 2066 Old Shell Rd. • 378-8621 A Taste of Italy . BYOB. Brews & game on 65 screens. Casino ($-$$) MCSHarry’S iriSH pub ($) HaCienDa San MiGueL ($-$$) Intimate & casual with daily specials. SenD LiSTinGS To [email protected]

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 19 the galley café gulfQueSt national Down by the river maritime muSeum 155 S. Water St. cuiSine The Galley’s got you covered mobile 36602 THE REVIEW BY ANDY MACDONALD/CUISINE EDITOR | [email protected] 251-206-5284

Photos | (left and right) Courtesy of The Galley, (center) facebook obile certainly has given the Gulf- Quest National Maritime Museum a Large portions and rich ingredients highlight the menu at The Galley, located on the ground floor bit of grief. It took a while to get her up and running. The Comic Cowboys of the new GulfQuest national Maritime Museum in Mobile. made fun of attendance numbers. But I had heard good things from several Mwho visited. The surprising thing was that everyone spoke well of the restaurant. glorified snack bar slinging ballpark nachos and popcorn. These sandwich ($9.25) came with a side of fruit. The chicken was so My old pal Michael Bier from Portland, Oregon, came for guys are here to cook. finely cut it almost felt like chicken mousse. On a croissant and a visit this past Mardi Gras and would not let the subject of I didn’t want to load up on appetizers, but Galley fries dressed with lettuce and tomato, this sandwich is not a bad meal. our latest museum rest. With the news of a better-than-decent ($4.50) sounded too good to pass up. These fries were hot and The fruit was exceptional with cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes and restaurant on-site, it didn’t take much arm-twisting to get me crispy with a generous amount of melted cheese sprinkled with much-appreciated pineapple. into the passenger seat of his Smart car for an early lunch. bits of bacon, green onions and a thin drizzle of ranch. Mike was I had to make room for the daily special of fish and grits Mike spent a few years on boats right about the same time crazy about this dish and to this day tries to argue the ranch was ($13). Fried grouper was cooked golden and flaky on a bed I spent a few years drinking beer in a couple of universities, aioli. of some exceptional creamy but sturdy grits. Atop that was a so to say he has better sea legs than I is an understatement. You can’t have company from the Northwest pay a visit creamy red sauce that gave this dish a little extra pizazz. It had We rode to the museum together but I was planning on cut- without trying gumbo ($4.50). I was already getting a tad full a flavor that could have been tomato and bell pepper, if my taste ting out after lunch. so we shared it. Separate spoons, of course; we aren’t that close. was not deceiving. Basil was another component. The coleslaw At the foot of GulfQuest, one first takes in the building’s was also a surprise with a strong pickle flavor and a good taste massive size. It’s much larger than I thought as we paid our of mayo that ranks it high on my list. It’s nothing like causeway $5 automated parking fee and climbed the stairs. The lobby coleslaw but it sure was good. is expansive, with the ticket booth next to a door that takes iT iS WorTH MenTioninG THaT Everything at The Galley is served on paper-lined pizza tins you down to a nice view of the river. To the left is The Gal- which upped the ante from styrofoam plates or the like. It is a ley, our mark for the day. THe vieW oF THe river Mike is a smaller individual who dabbles in vegetarian- enHanCeS THe MeaL. LookinG ouT aT little surprising to get such good food while dining with plastic ism from time to time, but when making his way south he al- forks and knives, so don’t judge a book by its cover. This place ways allows room for the tastier things on his route through Cooper riverSiDe park, i WaS More is big on recycling which was a plus for my green friend from Oregon. I think for the most part these guys are knocking it out New Orleans and Biloxi to Mobile. He may be a stick figure THan prouD To Have Taken an of a man in yoga pants, but when the time comes for an ap- of the park. petite he can throw down. ouT-oF-ToWner To THiS LunCH SpoT. It is worth mentioning that the view of the river enhances the This is the type of place where you order at the counter meal. Looking out at Cooper Riverside Park I was more than and they bring it out to you, but it still has that restaurant proud to have taken an out-of-towner to this lunch spot. It’s a feel. They do serve wine and beer, though today was a work- good thing we got there as early as we did. By the end of our ing day. I’ll save the drinks with my sensitive, ponytailed The gumbo did have the tiny gumbo shrimp but the star of the meal the place was packed. friend for the evening, when we can meet up with our old pal show was the sausage. A darker, soupier roux was a departure Mike went on to gush about the museum as I Übered back Connie. The menu here is pretty aggressive for plasticware, from most versions in this area. That’s not to say we didn’t like to the Lagniappe office. I can’t wait to bring the kids here to get but we were ready to give it a whirl. it. There was not much rice, which I appreciate, and the lion’s the full tour. If there is a negative about my visit, it is though I We began our journey with fried green tomatoes ($8.50). share of the bowl came home with me. I am proud to report we didn’t have to purchase tickets to GulfQuest in order to eat, I did There were five golden brown, crunchy but tender green did receive a bottle of Crystal hot sauce to spike it up. have to pay the $5 parking fee, but there is free parking under tomatoes on a bed of mixed greens topped with what could After all these appetizers we were pretty stuffed, but still Interstate 10 across the street, or along Water Street opposite the have been the base for crawfish étouffée. This got my at- needed entrees. Mike had already broken the laws of the Exploreum. So, a small complaint, in my opinion. Check out The tention immediately and let me know this was not some vegetarian code and had no plans of stopping. A chicken salad Galley when you can.

20 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 21 CUISINEGRAND KREw E Hunt begins for the freshest ipas BY DAN MURPHY/CONTRIBUTING WRITER | [email protected]

Photos | (top) depositphoto (above and below) www.bellsbeer.com

the acclaimed SeaSonal hopSlam by bell’S breWery iS currently available locally in limited Supply.

he rule of supply and demand is one of the basic tenets of economics, and aromatics that are imparted by late hopping in the brewery. and in our little slice of the craft beer world, you’d be hard pressed to Asheville, North Carolina’s, Wicked Weed Brewing Co., for example, has find a better example than Bell’s Hopslam. just a 60-day shelf life for its Pernicious IPA, an amazingly flavorful IPA that This double India pale ale (IPA), replete with its own cult follow- took home a silver medal for American IPA at last year’s Great American Beer Ting, is one of the most highly anticipated — and scarcest — beer releases Festival. And that’s assuming it’s kept cold and away from ultraviolet rays the of the year. Cans should be hitting store shelves this week, but people entire time it takes to go from the brewery to the distributor to the retailer and have been calling to ask about it seemingly nonstop, according to Chris then to the customer. Kitzmann, beer manager at Cottage Hill Package store. “I’ve had about 30 No, there’s not something that turns it into a pumpkin beer at midnight on the calls just this morning,” Kitzmann said on Fat Tuesday. 61st day, but it’s what the folks at the brewery have determined, through analyti- If you’re lucky, there might be a six-pack or two still available after this cal tastings, is the point at which the beer no longer represents what they want week. It’s doubtful but possible, and that’s a very good thing for craft beer. Pernicious to be. If anyone knows best, it’s the folks making the beer. To Kitzmann, the reputation this beer has earned all comes down to one I’m not saying you need to turn your nose up at a beer that’s more than a word: “rarity.” couple of months old, but I do suggest looking for a bottled-on or best-by date Chances are, if the beer were offered year-round, the demand would fall to help inform your choices. off alongside the volatile hop aromas as cans sat on shelves a lot longer No one makes that process easier than San Diego’s Stone Brewing Co., than they do, and that would not be a good thing for craft beer. which has an entire “Enjoy By” line of IPAs that tell you front and center the Hop aroma and flavor, which constitute a “hoppy” beer for many drinkers, date by which you should drink this “devastatingly fresh” double IPA. Smaller are the first characteristics of a beer to fall off. It’s why an IPA at a brewery type, printed directly on the bottle neck, indicates both the bottled-on date and may taste amazingly fresh and dank while the same IPA out of a five-month- the enjoy-by date, a span of just 47 days. old bottle from the grocery store will exhibit more malt character, often mud- As Stone says on the bottle, “We’ve sent a clear message in the name of dying up the very distinct hop flavors that make fresh IPA so popular. the beer itself ... further proving that there is no better time than right NOW to When it comes to shelf life, 180 days has been the standard for many enjoy this IPA.” craft breweries, a blanket range that encompasses just about every beer in I’ll drink to that. a brewery’s portfolio and assumes the beer is kept in ideal conditions — Dan Murphy is a Certified Cicerone® and the founding brewer at Fairhope away from heat and light. But that’s changing, especially as IPA brewers Brewing Company. Follow him on Instagram @Grand_Krewe and on Twitter ratchet down the bitterness and focus their attention on the delicate flavors @Beer_Man_Dan.

CUISINEw ORD OF MOUTH Downtown Cajun Cook-Off returns in March BY ANDY MACDONALD/CUISINE EDITOR | [email protected]

ast year’s was such a big success there’s no reason to think The Cook-Off runs from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. Ticket prices are form of cash, check or credit card. this year’s can’t be even better. The 2nd annual Downtown $10 in advance and $15 at the gate. For more information visit The first event is Thursday, March 3, from 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 Cajun Cook-Off presented by Cunningham Bounds is www.cacmobile.org or call the Child Advocacy Center at 251- a.m. for Ecumenical Ministries of Baldwin County (www.bald- slated for Saturday, March 19, at beautiful Cathedral Square 432-1101. winemi.org), who provide services locally to low-income families Lbenefiting the Child Advocacy Center. Imagine 22 of downtown’s and individuals. The following day, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., the favorite restaurants meeting head to head in a battle royal with Another Broken Egg hatches in Fairhope fundraiser is for the Baldwin County Humane Society (www. some mighty fine cuisine. Last year’s competitors brought their If you have never been to one of the popular Another Broken baldwinhumane.org), a no-kill animal welfare adoption agency. “A” game and served up some of the finest jambalaya ever. Egg restaurants, you don’t know what you’re missing. I’m a fan. And on Saturday, March 5, from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., dona- Bud Light will sponsor the Zydeco Stage, featuring live music We’re only a few short weeks away from the first in this area, tions will benefit the Eastern Shore Arts Center (www.esartcenter. throughout the event. Other sponsors include Hancock Bank, which will open Monday, March 7, in Fairhope at 300 Fairhope com), which connects people of all ages and disabilities with arts Louisiana Hot Sauce, Wind Creek Casino Atmore, Greer’s and Ave. This will be the second location in Alabama and the 54th in education, exhibitions and outreach activities. Conecuh Sausage. the nation. Another Broken Egg Cafe originated in Mandeville, Louisiana. Fox10 News is the TV sponsor, with chief meteorologist Jason Leading up to the opening, the public will be invited to dine Each location operates daily from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m., closing only Smith serving as the event’s honorary chairman. You’ll be hearing free of charge as part of three fundraising events. Donations to on Thanksgiving and Christmas. If you’d like to know more about a lot from radio sponsor 92ZEW over the next few weeks. support these organizations can be made following the meal in the this operation visit www.anotherbrokenegg.com.

22 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 23 COVERSTORY ‘bugs, thugs and drugs’: Stopping threats in Mobile’s port BY JASON JOHNSON/REPORTER | [email protected]

very day, millions of dollars worth of products move to look for patterns or anything else that might be showing up.” law, but the cost of delaying your business or the cost of not get- in and out of the Port of Mobile, and with around 95 As for the vessels, the Coast Guard reserves the right to board ting business because you’re not in compliance is much higher percent of the world’s commerce flowing via vessel, any ship in U.S. waters at any point. That said, not every ship than any fine the Coast Guard can levy upon you,” he said. “It the economic implications are staggering for both coming in gets boarded. behooves the regulated entities to be in compliance. So it be- Mobile and the entire country. Brandstaetter said the level of risk a ship poses is calculated comes self-policing in a way, but that doesn’t mean the oversight Just under a hundred seaports in the United States by several factors that take into account its country of origin, isn’t needed.” handle approximately 2 billion tons of cargo annu- cargo and crew. The percentage of vessels boarded also depends ally, and locally, Mobile’s port receives more than 64 million on the “maritime security” or MARSEC level. Alabama State Port Authority tons from nearly 1,432 ships in an average year. Aside from obvious threats such as terrorists, stowaways or Part of the reason a multiagency effort was outlined in the e foreign defectors, the Coast Guard is also tasked with making As the ninth-largest seaport by volume, the economic impact MTSA is that it helped cover gaps in the authority and ability of is significant, but so is the potential loss if any incident slows sure ships entering the port are in compliance with both federal individual agencies. Currently the Alabama State Port Authority down or stops the processes that keep commerce flowing. and international shipping standards. plays an integral role in the safety of individuals coming, going “Internationally, locally and across the United States, we Through routine checks, the Coast Guard works to ensure the and working on the waterfront. Like the Coast Guard, ASPA’s have to ensure that our ports are secure and safe,” said Lt. Cmdr. safety of sailors and those in the port, but those inspections also responsibilities have drastically increased since 9/11. Kurt Brandstaetter, a public affairs officer with the U.S. Coast help prevent and detect environmental issues that could cause Prior to the MTSA, ASPA spent less $1 million per year on Guard. “It affects everything, not just the port. A lot of goods and harm along the coastline or in the open sea. security at the port, but today that figure has ballooned to nearly services come into the port that companies elsewhere depend on to do their business.” However, Brandstaetter said that like much of the federal government, the Coast Guard’s role in the nation’s ports changed after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, when the Maritime today, the coaSt guard WorkS With u.S. cuStomS Transportation Security Act of 2002 moved the Coast Guard under the purview of the newly created Department of Homeland and border protection, the alabama State port Security and made safety a top priority at the nation’s seaports. Today, the Coast Guard works with U.S. Customs and Border authority, other government agencieS and Protection, the Alabama State Port Authority, other govern- ment agencies and private businesses to ensure business flows private buSineSSeS to enSure buSineSS floWS smoothly in and out of Mobile. “Nobody can do it alone,” Brandstaetter said. “Through the facilities we work with and the interagency approach we collabo- Smoothly in and out of mobile. rate with, it takes a strong industry-government partnership to make sure any risks and threats are identified to ensure we avoid anything that could shut down the transportation system.” “When we go on board a vessel, part of our process is to $6.3 million annually. According to ASPA President Jimmy Lyons, U.S. Coast Guard, Sector Mobile look at all their environmental control systems to ensure they’re the figure represents the operating cost of funding security guards, Because homeland security is now the priority, the Coast not being tampered with,” Brandstaetter said. “For example, an internal police department and an extensive camera system. Guard is the lead law enforcement agency at U.S. ports, giving anything they do with oil on board a vessel, they’re required to Altogether, more than 300 motion-sensing cameras monitor final authorization before any ship can enter. record in an oil record book. If you’re doing something negligent restricted port facilities in Mobile, helping to quickly detect any According to its own annual reporting, the Coast Guard per- or against the law, eventually the oil record book isn’t going to intrusion — be it a terrorist or a confused pedestrian. formed 289 safety examinations and 269 security examinations match up with what we see during the inspection.” “One of the most common intrusions we get is people,” Lyons in Mobile’s port during 2014 — the most recent year for which Though Brandstaetter never mentioned it specifically, a Coast said. “Sometimes it’s people who are just intoxicated, other times data is available — resulting in no major control issues and only Guard inspection in Mobile led to the federal conviction of a it might be vagrants or something like that. Usually our cameras seven detentions. The detained individuals were not necessarily a Norwegian company, DSD Shipping, just three months ago. pick them up, we dispatch our officers and they get a night in jail, threat, but were detained because of such issues as vessel safety, After nearly a year in court, a jury found DSD Shipping guilty usually for criminal trespassing.” for example. of knowingly failing to maintain accurate oil and garbage record Though it isn’t required by federal law, ASPA typically arrests Brandstaetter said he was unable to discuss any “specific books, obstruction of justice and witness tampering in November any unauthorized intruder, as outlined in the port’s security plan. incidents” locally but, speaking in general terms, said most of the — charges outlined in indictments in Alabama and Louisiana. Similarly, every ship and facility using the port is required to security breaches seen in Mobile happen on land. Sentencing in the case isn’t scheduled until March, but submit a security plan to the Coast Guard. “The rate of security breaches, at least in Mobile and our maritime crimes can come with severe fines. The Coast Guard The Alabama State Port Authority Police Department employs area, tend to fall more on the side of people wandering onto a and other agencies can levy their own fines against companies as 41 sworn officers and 12 communications officers — all with restricted facility or making a wrong turn,” Brandstaetter said. well, but Brandstaetter said the vast majority stay in compliance the same training and authority as other police forces. Those indi- “All the reporting requirements are still the same, though. All for their own benefit. viduals and a handful of contracted security workers monitor the that information has to be put into several intelligence databases “We have fines that we can levy against people that break the various facilities and points of entry to the ASPA properties.

24 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 “Our police will work with the Coast Guard and While drugs don’t appear to be a common find, Wal- they’ll come and use drug dogs to randomly search ters said containers coming from China are currently a vehicles. Obviously, we don’t want drugs being brought priority for CBP agents because of another threat — the in here, but we also don’t want people using drugs on Asian gypsy moth. Spawning from caterpillars that feed the port for safety reasons,” Lyons said. “Occasionally on 600 species of trees and shrubs, the moth is currently they’ll catch a small amount of drugs or a weapon — such a worry that ships not previously fumigated for maybe a truck driver has a pistol or something. Those them are kept at sea until an onboard inspection can are always things we look at.” occur. While insects may seem less significant than a con- U.S. Customs and Border Protection tainer full of cocaine, agricultural pests are something While the ASPA police and other local law enforce- the CPB takes seriously. In 2014, the agency reported ment agencies assist in finding drugs and prohibited more than 155,000 cases of invasive pests showing up in weapons, the main challenge of preventing contraband cargo shipments around the country. falls on the U.S. Department of Customs and Border While most are kept out, it doesn’t take much to find Protection. Scott Walters is the assistant port director in examples of species slipping through the cracks — like Mobile, but currently serves as the port’s acting director. the red fire ant widely believed to have entered the U.S. Walters said CBP enforces the laws and regulations through the Port of Mobile in the 1930s. of about 40 federal agencies by seizing contraband, pre- “Now fire ants are everywhere, because once those venting pests from entering the country and by enforcing species get in, you can’t get rid of them,” Walters said. immigration and intellectual property laws. “There have also been issues with wood-boring pests. “Every vessel that’s coming directly from a foreign Now, all wooden pallets have to be heat treated, and if country, we board,” Walters said. “We have to do im- they don’t meet the requirements, they have go back on migration checks on all of the crew, but we [also] do the ship to be exported. We won’t ever let people burn physical searches of the vessel to whatever extent we them here.” deem appropriate or necessary.” The same approach is used to control diseases and Like the Coast Guard, Walters said the CBP has a pol- other illnesses that could potentially enter the country icy against discussing any specific incident, but the across carried by sailors. Walters said the first thing CBP agents the country the agency searched more than 25 million ask any ship captain is, “Are there any problems, and is truck, rail and sea containers in 2014 — seizing 680,000 anybody sick?” pounds of illegal drugs and more than 300,000 rounds of While health checks occur regularly for the safety of ammunition at the nation’s ports, borders and railways. the crew and the general public, Walters said protocols aS part of a multi-agency Security In Mobile alone, 130,000 shipping containers arrived CBP follows are even more heightened during signifi- at the port last year. Walters said the priority placed on cant epidemics, such as the outbreak of the Ebola virus effort, officerS With the alabama searching those containers depends on several factors, in 2014. including their port of origin, any previous stops and their “When the Ebola outbreak first started, we met with State port authority check cargo contents. the ASPA, the Coast Guard and the Mobile County Checking for “bugs, thugs and drugs,” Walters said Health Department to get a game plan. There was a lot for proper documentation and the CBP agents use mobile X-ray technology, radiation of collaboration and planning,” he said. “Luckily for us, detectors and hands-on inspections to examine contain- we didn’t have hardly any vessels coming from that area ers arriving at the Port of Mobile. in the time frame that it would have been a problem.” contraband. “It’s not just the drugs, bad guys and agriculture, Overall, though, Walters said a lot of companies ad- now we’re looking for trademark violations or copyright dress possible customs issues before their arrival, which violations as well,” Walters said. “There’s a million dif- can make their processing time shorter and more efficient. ferent things we’re targeting.” One initiative, the Customs-Trade Partnership Around the country, it’s not uncommon to see drug Against Terrorism (C-TPAT), establishes several proto- seizures in U.S. ports. Last August, CBP agents in cols in a ship’s homeport to prevent complications here. Baltimore intercepted 310 pounds of cocaine, and just a It’s quite extensive, but the program’s benefits stateside month later another 363 pounds were discovered in ship- have prompted several international businesses to adopt ments coming into Philadelphia. it as a best practice. While Walters wouldn’t discuss specific occurrences Keeping with the overall theme of partnership, Walters in the local port, Lyons said finding drugs shipped to said agreements like C-TPAT benefit the shipping com- Mobile is fairly uncommon because of the type of ves- panies and also the CBP by limiting the amount of time sels that arrive here. Still, he said the amount of money agents spend boarding and inspecting vessels needlessly. involved in the drug trade means suppliers are constantly “We do a lot of outreach with shipping companies trying to find new delivery opportunities in the U.S. and the vessel agencies, because they want to help us “There have been some interdictions here, but it’s as well. Time is money to them and this is a way to get pretty rare,” Lyons said. “I usually see reports of inci- their stuff processed and out of here as soon as pos- dents that have occurred in other ports in a lot of our sible,” Walters said. “If they know what channels and trade press, but we don’t have a lot of container ships obstacles they have to overcome, a lot of times they have that are coming in from high-risk areas for drugs.” everything we need in order beforehand.” Photos | Daniel Anderson

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 25 A RT S MSO offering ARTIFICE something for every sensibility BY KEVIN LEE/ARTS EDITOR | [email protected]

special visitor has reassurances for the denizens of the versatility. As suits artistic expression, his emotional connec- forms throughout the opening section. Mother of Mystics, something especially kind just days tions led the way. MSO will also perform one masterpiece in a series that might Aremoved from pre-Lenten celebrations. “These are three works I love — a lot. The Brahms resonates be the most fabled in classical music: J.S. Bach’s Brandenburg A“There are no sudden cymbal crashes and no need for Advil deeply for me. It was one of the first works I heard live as a Concerto No. 5 in D. Premiering in 1721 after being presented at intermission,” David Amado said. The music director for child, and it made a lasting impression — especially the stun- to the Margrave of Brandenburg-Schwedt, it is assumed much of the Delaware Symphony Orchestra, Amado will be the guest ning finale,” Amado said. the Brandenburg material was written earlier, then assembled for conductor for Mobile Symphony Orchestra’s next program, The rousing ending of Brahms’ Symphony No. 2 doesn’t its formal debut. Nonetheless the six concertos have become the “Mother Goose: Music of Another World” on Feb. 20 and 21. quintessence of Baroque music. The titular work is impressionist Maurice Ravel’s musical Though its opening allegro features a lyrical call-and- voyage to a familiar realm of fairies and tiny folk composed for response interplay between flute and violin — performed in this some of his favorite tykes. The Godebski family of Paris were The TiTulAr work is show by flutist Andra Bohnet and violinist Jenny Gregoire — creative folks of modest means who opened their home for regu- impressionisT mAurice it’s another instrument that will catch contemporary ears due to lar salons featuring various artists, painters and musicians such its relative rarity. Hedi Salanki-Rubardt is charged with playing as Ravel, Schmitt, Roussel and Toulouse-Lautrec. Ravel wrote rAvel’s musicAl voyAge To A the daunting harpsichord solo at the heart of Bach’s composi- a piano duet for their daughters, Mimi and Jean, with themes tion. based on tales such as “Tom Thumb,” “Sleeping Beauty” and fAmiliAr reAlm of fAiries And Tiny “The Bach balances both Brahms’ richness and Ravel’s “Beauty and the Beast.” folk composed for some of his supersaturated orchestration with a constant dedication to clarity After its 1910 publication, Jacques Charlot transcribed it for of line and direct, powerful expressiveness,” Amado said. solo piano. The following year, Ravel further elaborated upon it, fAvoriTe Tykes. The concert will be offered twice: Saturday, Feb. 20, at 8 crafting a five-piece suite. p.m. and Sunday, Feb. 21, at 2:30 p.m. at downtown’s Saenger Later in the same year, Ravel expanded it even further. He Theatre (6 S. Joachim St.). added four interludes and two movements to transform it into a mean it will completely violate Amado’s promise of post-Mardi Tickets are $20-$75 and can be purchased by phone at 251- ballet. In 1975, ballet master Jerome Robbins designed chore- Gras reverie. Often compared in pastoral tone with Beethoven’s 432-2010, online at mobilesymphony.org or at the symphony ography for the piece and premiered a work that was revived in Sixth, the composer found the 1877 work to be introspective. box office (257 Dauphin St.). Reduced-price student tickets are subsequent years. “[The symphony] is so melancholy that you will not be able available for both performances. “The Ravel is petite, delicate and intimate, was love at first to bear it,” Brahms wrote to his publisher. “I have never written Through the MSO Big Red Ticket program, students in hearing for me too. It is musical storytelling at its best — a anything so sad and the score must come out in mourning.” grades K-12 can attend the Sunday performance free when ac- childlike sense of wonder combined with an adult sense of nos- The initial movement, an allegro non troppo, is woven with companied by a paying adult. More details can be found online talgia and longing — all wrapped up with Ravel’s distinctive, a familiar theme. Though derived from an earlier work, the at mobilesymphony.org. technicolor style,” Amado said in a news release. melodic hook popularly known as “Brahms’ Lullaby” lilts into The concert is sponsored by the Mobile Symphony Board of The guest conductor fashioned the show to highlight MSO’s the sonata a few minutes after its start, then reemerges in various Directors and an anonymous donor.

26 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 27 A RT S Jazz group salutes GALLERY modern Gypsy jazz master BY KEVIN LEE/ARTS EDITOR | [email protected]

or musicians among the Roma people — also called S. Water St.) to sign copies of his new work on Saturday, Feb. Strains of African voices on the ESho 20, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Gypsies — the name Django Reinhardt occupies a lonely In 1984, traveler Ray Barnett gave a Ugandan child a ride to During World War II, 40 officers and 147 men died when 20 fechelon. The 20th century guitarist combined American refuge and the kid’s simple reward for the deed — a song sung for Waterman vessels were lost at sea during the global conflict. Fswing rhythms with techniques from his own European ethnic- the kindness — birthed an institution. Barnett assembled a vocal Marty created a narrative for each of these in addition to 13 other ity to birth the genre Gypsy jazz and develop a nearly unsur- group from various African nations composed of poverty-wracked passed legacy. children who had lost one or both parents to war or disease. Waterman ships sunk or damaged during the war. Copies of the University of South Alabama Publications Around 1970, 4-year-old Bireli Lagrene began his own In the decades since, the African Children’s Choir has found release are currently available in the GulfQuest museum store. ascent. The Roma guitar prodigy would learn his idol’s repertoire international acclaim in performing for nonprofit humanitarian For more information go to gulfquest.org. by age 8 and win a Strasbourg music festival at age 12. relief assisting thousands of African children annually. The choir When Lagrene came to America in the 1980s, his impact was has performed for Queen Elizabeth II and alongside Paul Mc- Cartney, Annie Lennox, Keith Urban and Mariah Carey, and now immediately felt. He began to move in circles with titans like Planetary homicide in Science Café you can catch them in the Mobile area. While we often think of our planet as a perfect paradise, the guitarists Larry Coryell, John McLaughlin and Al Di Meola and The African Children’s Choir will appear at Fairhope United scary fact is it wages constant warfare on every living creature bassist Jaco Pastorius. Methodist Church (155 S. Section St.) on Friday, Feb. 26, at 7 calling it home. It’s so thorough in its job that the planet has Though he has experimented with jazz fusion, Lagrene has al- p.m. The event is co-hosted by Fairhope UMC and Page and seen five major extinctions, and there might be a sixth just over ways returned to his traditional Gypsy jazz roots and homages to Palette Bookstore. the horizon. Reinhardt. However, after nearly 40 albums, his lightning-quick There are no tickets being sold for the event, but donations That’s the subject of the Feb. 23 Science Café being held at ideas and bountiful phrasing make him a master in his own right. are welcome. 6 p.m. at OK Bicycle Shop (661 Dauphin St.). Doug Haywick, The Mystic Order of the Jazz Obsessed will salute this For more information go to africanchildrenschoir.com or call USA associate professor of geology and adjunct professor of ma- unique musical voice on Monday, Feb. 22, at 6:30 p.m. The 251-928-5295. rine sciences, will tell everyone in attendance about “Five Ways program at Mobile’s Gulf City Lodge (601 State St.) will the Earth is Trying to Kill You!” in sessions that blend informal- ity with a love of knowledge. feature the musical interpretations of Caravan, a riveting Gypsy GulfQuest Museum hosts book signing If you like geological and meteorological havoc — and jazz ensemble from Pensacola. The lobby of the Waterman Building in downtown Mobile is what resident of a hurricane zone can’t relate? — then this Entrance is $12, $10 for students and military and $8 for a treasure. Not only does it contain resplendent Conrad Albrizio is made for you. The free event is sponsored by the USA MOJO members. A light jambalaya dinner is included and a cash mosaics, but a plaque dedicated to those lost at sea in service of its namesake corporation spurred the creation of a book. Archaeology Museum. bar provided. Author John L. Marty penned “Hostages to the Sea: Water- For more information call 251-460-6106, email bfilion@ For more information call 251-459-2298, email mobilejazz@ man Steamships at War, 1941-1945” after the memorial inspired southalabama.edu or go to southalabama.edu/org/archaeol- bellsouth.net or go to mojojazz.org. him. The writer will be at the GulfQuest Maritime Museum (155 ogy/museum/.

28 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 29 MUSIC FEATURE

Kyle KInane, Dave RoSS ThURSDay, Feb. 18, wITh DooRS aT 8 p.M. The MeRRy wIDow, 51 S. ConCepTIon ST., www.TheMeRRywIDow.neT TICKeTS: $18 In aDvanCe $20 Day oF Show, avaIlable aT The MeRRy wIDow anD ITS webSITe

Photo | Courtesy of Comedy Central

Recognizable voice-over artist and stand- up comedian Kyle Kinane is bringing new Kyle Kinane’s material to The Merry Widow Feb. 18. life on the road BY STEPHEN CENTANNI/MUSIC EDITOR | [email protected]

Kinane: Personally, I like it, man. I like driving. back a few days later and were like, “Go in and do don’t have that much fear. I’m still living life the way I think that the lower 48 is some of the most diverse it again!” Then I saw the paycheck for it, and I was I want to. I don’t have kids or anything. I can’t say landscape that you can experience. To do it by car thinking, “Don’t you dare screw this up.” what I’m afraid of. I’m having a real good time right is great. Last year, I had one tour that took me from C: You also participated in the Comedy Central now. I guess the good times ending is the only thing Boston through the South out to Phoenix in January. show “Drunk History,” which is one of my favor- that scares me. Fun will present itself in a different I went from four feet of snow to a desert in a matter ites. There are a lot of people online who want to format, later on in life. of three weeks. I think it’s great. I like it, and I find say that the level of drunkenness is over exagger- C: Your Comedy Central stand-up special was a it very peaceful. ated. What’s it like behind the scenes when you’re hit. What’s going through your head knowing that C: So, is it always just you out there? making one of those segments? this one particular set could go legendary or just K: This time I have a buddy with me. He’s a K: I invite any of them to drink as much as I did fail completely? Is the paranoia there when you’re hether they know it or not, comedian by the name of Dave Ross. He’s touring on one of those shows, and you tell me if it’s exag- filming one of those? with me on this run. anyone who has watched Com- gerated (chuckle). I’m trying to barf on purpose for K: Usually there’s enough preparation beforehand C: What’s it been like so far? ratings (laughing). No, I got that drunk. That’s what where you know the material and have been trying edyW Central is already familiar K: Dave and I toured a little bit last year. It’s happened to me. it out for a few months. It should work. Another with Kyle Kinane, or at least good as long as you realize people have to be quiet C: You dedicate a lot of your material to the thing people don’t realize is that it’s being taped. If I his voice. For many years, for a long stretch of time but not be awkward about realization that you’re getting old, which I think screw something up, I can be like, “Hey, everybody, Kinane has provided voice- it, then it’s OK. I think that when you tour with resonates with a lot of Gen Xers. What was the first I gonna say that again, because I screwed up the over buffers for the channel. somebody long enough, you get like, “Alright, let’s incident of you deciding that you were getting old? words.” Usually people know that they’re at a taping. listen to some music or listen to a podcast” and K: My hair started falling out early on. So, that’s They’re very forgiving. They want you to do well, He has lent his voice to a long space out. He’s a good dude and a pal of mine. So, something that didn’t bother me. I always shaved too. Nobody’s going to a taping and hoping that you list of animated shows that it’s been fun. my head anyway. Then I was like, “Hey, I’ll grow suck. They do two shows, in case one audience is include “Bob’s Burgers,” “Ad- C: I think podcasts have sort of revolutionized my hair out.” Then it was like, “Nah, no you’re lousy. I always tell them at the beginning, “I might venture Time” and “Aqua Teen comedy by giving it a new outlet. You’ve had some Hunger Force.” experience in the podcast world. What do you think about them? In addition to his vocal K: Yeah, I used to bust balls about podcasts, I don’t have that much fear. I’m still living work, Kinane has appeared on like “I’m the only comedian who doesn’t have one” shows such as “Drunk Histo- and “I wonder who even listens to those things.” life the way I want to. ry” and “Workaholics.” He also Then I go do a show and people are like, “Yeah, I had viewers laughing with his found out about you through this podcast.” Then I was like, “I’ve got to watch my mouth!” I stopped not, because it’s not there anymore.” So, that didn’t screw up a word. If I do, then I’ll go back and do it hit stand-up television special, smack-talkin’ podcasts, because apparently a lot bother me. I did find out that I had gout last year. again. You guys do me a favor and laugh like you “I Liked His Old Stuff Better.” of people listen to them and I should grateful that That felt like something. So, that’s one thing: gout. heard it for the first time.” I hope I didn’t take the Kinane took time to chat people have had me on theirs. That’s not a sports injury. It’s not something you get mystery out of it for everybody. with Lagniappe about his C: I totally get what you’re saying. I was the from doing something cool and useful. You can’t C: It can’t be that perfect every time. television work as well as one same way about it. I thought it was such a cult be like, “I played so many sports, and that’s why I K: No, live shows are one thing. You can tank, following. Now, I can’t have a conversation with of his favorite subjects: get- hurt.” No, you drank and ate whatever you wanted or it could not go well. People could interrupt it. you without talking about Comedy Central. You’re for too long. With a taping, you minimize what could go wrong. ting old. currently the voice of Comedy Central. How did C: As far as getting older goes, what’s your big- C: What’s your set going to be like in Mobile? Centanni: Being a comedi- you get that steady gig? gest fear? K: If they know me already, then it’s going to an on a road tour, it seems like K: I honestly don’t know. Somebody called me K: I think it would be that I’m not able to do the be more of the same (chuckle). It’s the same racket you would be out there flying and was like, “Hey! Do you wanna go in and try to stuff I like. I like doing fun and dumb kid stuff. I still I’m always getting into. It’s an hour of me doing the solo. What’s it like on the road do voice-overs?” I had never even done any voice- ride bikes and go mountain biking. I was BMX’ing same shit. It’s not the same material. I haven’t gone over work. They were like, “Just go in and read at a skate park in Phoenix a few weeks ago, which is right wing or anything. I’m not wearing a suit. I for a comedian on tour? this stuff.” I was like, “Alright!” Then they had me something I haven’t done in a long time. Otherwise, I haven’t Dennis Miller’d the whole thing.

30 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 31 AREACLUB LISTINGS T.P. Crockmiers Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill [DOWNTOWN] 250 Dauphin St. | 476-1890 [EASTERN SHORE] 29249 US Hwy 98 | 621-1991 Alchemy Tavern Bay House Pub [Daphne] 7 S. Joachin St. | 441-7741 The Listening Room 28850 Bayline Dr. | 626-0158 Café Del Rio 78 St. Francis St.| 367-4599 1175 Battleship Pkwy | 625-2722 The Blind Mule Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill [Daphne] 57 N. Claiborne St. | 694-6853 The Merry Widow 29249 US Hwy. 98 | 621-1991 Celtic Irish Pub [Pascagoula] 51 S. Conception St. | 378-8020 4901 Chicot St. | 228-938-6800 Boo Radley’s Club 44 [Daphne] 276 Dauphin St. | 432-1996 Veet’s 28850 US 98, #100 | 445-8069 Ed’s Seafood Shed 66 S. Royal St.| 694-3090 3382 Battleship Pkwy. | 625-1947 The Bar Gumbo Shack 352 St. Francis St. | 648-1596 212 Fairhope Ave. | 928-4100 Felix’s Fish Camp [MIDTOWN] 1530 Battleship Pkwy. | 626-6710 The Brickyard Manci’s Antique Club [Daphne] 266 Dauphin St. | 473-4739 Ashland Midtown Pub 1715 Main St. | 375-0543 Islanders [Dauphin Island] 2453 Old Shell Rd.| 479-3278 1504 Bienville Blvd.| 861-2225 Buck’s Pizza McSharry’s [Fairhope] 350 Dauphin St. | 431-9444 Blues Tavern 101N Brancroft St. |990-5100 Midnight Rodeo 2818 Gov’t Blvd. | 479-7621 7790 Tanner Rd. |639-2222 Callaghan’s Irish Social Club Moe’s Original BBQ [Daphne] 916 Charleston St. | 433-9374 Butch Cassidy’s Cafe 6423 Bayfront Pk Dr.|625-7427 Mississippi Coast Coliseum 60 N. Florida St. | 450-0690 [Biloxi] Dauphin St. Blues Company Old 27 Grill 2350 Beach Blvd. |228-594-3700 Kimberly’s Midtown Bar [Fairhope] 19992 Hwy 181 | 281-2663 & Draft Picks 2660 Old Shell Rd. | 564 Dauphin St. | 725-6429 478-1477 The End Zone Sports Bar Papa’s Pizza [Daphne] [Mt. Vernon] 19170 Hwy 43. 829-9227 Firehouse Wine Bar Shop Mellow Mushroom 28850 US Hwy 98| 626-7662 216 St. Francis St. | 421-2022 2032 Airport Blvd. | 471-4700 Pelican Pub & Restaurant Plow [Fairhope] [Dauphin Island] Gabriel’s Downtown Rear Pocket 96 Plantation Pointe| 410-7569 1102 DeSoto Ave.| 861-7180 55 S. Joachim St. | 432-4900 2525 Emogene St. | 476-0053 Courtyard 311 Pelican Reef Restaurant The Garage Royal Knight Restaurant 311 Fairhope Ave. | 928-2032 11799 Dauphin Island Pkwy. | 973-2670 9 S. Washington Ave. | 433-2223 3004 Gov’t Blvd. | 287-1220 Ravenite Pizzeria [Fairhope] Trader’s 102 N. Section St. | 4015 Battleship Pkwy | 626-5630 Hayley’s Downtown Silver Horse Pub 929-2525 278 Dauphin St. | 433-4970 151 S. Florida St. | 478-7030 Rosie’s Grill and Record Bar The Grand Mariner Joe Cain Café [Daphne] 6036 Rock Point Rd. | 443-5700 1203 U.S. 98|626-2440 26 N. Royal St. | 338-2000 [WESTMOBILE] Tropics Liquid Top of the Bay 5872 Battleship Pkwy | 626-9008 661 Dauphin St. | 432-0109 All Sports Bar & Billards 28971 US 98 | 621-1177 3408 Pleasant Valley Rd. | 345-9338 The Frog Pond Loda Bier Garten Windmill Market [Fairhope] 13620 Tom Gaston Rd. | 865-0252 251 Dauphin St. | 287-6871 Billiards Club 85 N. Bancroft St. | 517-5444 4130 Gov’t Blvd.|447-2132 The River Shack Mobile Civic Center 6120 Marina Dr. S. | 443-7318 401 Civic Center Dr. | 208-7261 Cockeyed Charlies [THE BEACH] Tin Top 6920 Airport Blvd.|725-1112 Moe’s Original BBQ Flora-Bama 6232 Bon Secour Hwy. County Rd. 10 | 949-5086 701 Spring Hill Ave|410-7427 Crooked Martini 17401 Perdido Key Dr., | 850-492-0611 Touch Down Tavern 7639 Cottage Hill Rd. #C |633-5555 O’Daly’s Irish Pub The Hangout 5460 Inn Rd | 662-7543 564 Dauphin St.|725-6429 Flashback Club 101 Gulf Ct. | 948-3030 VFW Post 7320 [Saraland] OK Bicycle Shop 10071 Airport Blvd.| 634-2239 Live Bait 244 Old Telegraph Rd. |679-1188 661 Dauphin St. |432-2453 Jag’s Sports Bar & Grill 24281 Perdido Beach Blvd. | 974-1612 Whiskey Blues [Theodore] Pat’s Downtown Grill 5602 Old Shell Rd.| 725-1102 Lulu’s at Homeport Marina 5791 Swedetown Rd.|633-1769 271 Dauphin St. | 438-9585 200 E. 25th Ave. 251-967-LULU Lucky Irish Pub & Grill Zebra Lounge Riverview Plaza (Fathoms Lounge) 3692 Airport Blvd.| 414-3000 Pink Pony Pub [Gulf Shores] 2343 Dauphin Island Pkwy. | 473-2997 64 S. Water St.| 438-4000 137 East Gulf Pl. | 978-6371 Mellow Mushroom Royal Scam 5660 Old Shell Rd. | 380-1500 Pirate’s Cove [Elberta] [CASINOS] 72 S. Royal St.|432-SCaM (7226) 6600 County Rd. 95| 987-1224 Patches Beau Rivage [Biloxi] 878 Beach Blvd.| 228-386-7111 Royal Street Tavern 5100 Girby Rd.| 661-8028 Tacky Jacks 26 N. Royal St. | or 888-595-2534 338-2000 [Orange Beach] 27206 Safe Harbor Dr, |981-4144 Saenger Theatre Pour Baby [Gulf Shores] 249 E. 24th Ave.| 948-8881 Hard Rock Hotel & Casino 6 S. Joachim St. | 208-5600 6808 Airport Blvd. | 343-3555 1577 Alabama 180|968-8341 [Biloxi] 777 Beach Blvd. | 228-374-RoCK (7625) Saddle Up Saloon Satori Coffee House The Handlebar [Pensacola] 9 N Jackson St. 285-4596 5460 Old Shell Rd. | 344-4575 319 N. Tarragona St.| 434-9060 Harrah’s Hotel & Casino Runway Billards [New Orleans] Serda’s Coffee Company The Wharf [Orange Beach] 228 Poydras St.| 504-533-6000 3 S. Royal St. | 415-3000 8000 Airport Blvd. | 634-8006 4985 Wharf Pkwy.| 224-1000 Grand Casino [Biloxi] Skyview Lounge The Hungry Owl 280 Beach Blvd. | 228-436-2946 301 Gov’t St.| 694-0100 7899 Cottage Hill | 633-4479 [AROUND AND ABOUT] IP Casino Resort & Spa Soul Kitchen Stir Mobile The Old Bama Barn [Theodore] [Biloxi] 219 Dauphin St. |433-5958 5821 Old Shell Rd., Ste. D | 342-9995 11470-B Bellingrath Rd.| 973-0388 850 Bayview Ave. | 800-436-3000 Spot of Tea’s Jaggers VFW Post 49 Blue Gill Restaurant Wind Creek Casino 310 Dauphin St. | 375-6772 2528 Govt Blvd. | 471-9438 3775 Battleship Pkwy. | 625-1998 303 Poarch Rd., Atmore | 866-946-3360

SEND yOUR CLUB & MUSIC LISTINGS TO [email protected]

32 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 AREAMUSIC LISTINGS | February 18 - February 24 Flora Bama— J. Hawkins & James Daniel, LeaAnee Creswell, John Joiner, Darrel Roberts, Felix’s— Johnny Barbato [THUR. FEB 18] 2p// Jack Robertson Show, 5:30p/// LeaAnne 2p/// Christina Christian, 4p//// Jack Robertson Flora Bama— Cathy Pace, 4p// Elaine Petty Alchemy— Ryan Balthrop Creswell, Join Joiner, Darrel Roberts, 6p//// Show, 5:30p//// J. Hawkins Trio, 6p//// The & Rhonda Hart, 8p BLUEGILL— Al and Cathy Rhythm Intervention, 10p//// Smokin’ Elvis’ Shoals Swampers ft. Jackson Nance, 7p//// Lucky’s Irish Pub— Marcus, 8p Blues Tavern— George Eberlein Trio, 8:30p 10:15p Lucky Dogs, 10p//// Shawna P. 10:15p Lulu’s— Brent Burns, 5p Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill— David IP Casino— The O’Jays, 8p Legacy— Phil and Foster, 7p Chastang, 6p Legacy— Lisa Mills, 7p Listening Room— Phil and Foster, 8p Cafe Del Rio— Lee Yankie, 6p Listening Room— Abe Partridge and the Lulu’s— Albert Simpson, 5p [TUE. FEB 23] Callaghan’s— Abe Partridge Psychedelic Peacocks, 8p Manci’s— The Modern Eldorados, 7:30p BLUEGILL— Tim Kinsey Cockeyed Charlie’s— JJ, 10p Lulu’s— Albert Simpson, 5p McSharry’s— DJ Carter, 10p Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill— Gregg Felix’s— Grits N Pieces Main Street Cigar Lounge— Matt & Moe’s BBQ (Mobile)— This Side of 49, Fells, 6p Flora Bama— Delta Donnie Mathis, 2p// Sheri Neese, 8p 6:30p Butch Cassidy’s— Al and Cathy Frankie Golden & Steve Wilkerson, 4:30p/// Manci’s— Andy Citrin, 7:30p Tin Roof— Tony and Taylor Edwards Cockeyed Charlie’s— Jordan Bramblett, Mark Sherrill, Chris Newbury, John Joiner, Mel McSharry’s— DJ Tiger, 10p Top of the Bay— Rhythm Intercention 10p Knapp, 5p//// Brian Hill Duo, 9:15p The Merry Widow— Heartless Bastards Saenger— Mobile Symphony Orchestra: Felix’s— Lee Yankie Flora Bama— T. Bone Montgomery, 2p// Glen Lakes Golf Club— Bill Whyte and Moe’s BBQ (Mobile)— Dustin Prinz, From Heaven to Earth Brent Burns, 6p Perdido Brothers, 4p/// Brian Hill Duo, 8:30p 6:30p Soul Kitchen— Trivium, Excessum and Wild The Hot Spot— Brent Burns, 5p Legacy— Ryan Balthrop, 7p Moe’s BBQ (Daphne)— Journey 2 Fire, 8:30p Lulu’s— Adam Holt, 5p Lulu’s— Nikki Talley, 5p Mars, 8p Veets— The Family Jewels, 9p Manci’s— Josh Ewing, 7p The Malibu Lounge— Neil Dover, 2p O’Daly’s— Gene Murrell, Tony Edwards and McSharry’s— Light Travelers, 7:30p David White, 10p The Merry Widow— Kyle Kinane The Porch— Neil Dover, 8p [SUN. FEB 21] [WED. FEB 24] Old 27 Grill— Songwriters Night, 6:30p Tin Roof— Georgia Giles BLUEGILL— K-Mack Attack Alchemy— Senam Palmer, Trees on Mars, Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill— Brad Lawley Veets— Cary Laine, 8p Tropics— Rock Bottom, 7p Meddler & Tyler Champion, 6p Soul Kitchen— Future Astronaut Co: Blind Mule— Comedy Open Mic, 9:30p Stylust Beats, 10p Cafe Del Rio— Zach Chavers, 4p [FRI. FEB 19] Callaghan’s— The Pollies BLUEGILL— Ross Newell All Sports Bar & Billiards— DJ Markie Veets— Sucker Punch, 9p Blues Tavern— Jonesy- Gambino Duo, 8p Windmill Market— Nikki Talley, 6p Felix’s— Brandon Bailey Mark Flora Bama— Johnny Barbato, 12p// Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill— Ryan Beau Rivage— Jay Leno Perdido Brothers, 4:30p/// Nikki Talley, 8:30p Balthrop, 6p Blind Mule— Musician Scramble [SAT. FEB 20] Listening Room— Oh Jeremiah, 7p Cafe Del Rio— Manuel, 6p Competition, 10p Blind Mule— Comedy Whatever Showcase, Lulu’s— Greg Brown, 5p Callaghan’s— Phil and Foster BLUEGILL— Dale Drinkard, 11a// Lee 8p Manci’s— Lisa Mills, 6:30p Drifters— The Delta Drifters, 7p Yankie and the Hell Yeah, 6p BLUEGILL— Cary Laine Duo McSharry’s— Trad Irish Music, 6:30p Felix’s— Bobby Butchka Blues Tavern— Josh Garrett Band, 9p Blues Tavern— Sixty One 49, 9p Pinzones— Ross Newell, 5p Flora Bama— Al & Cathy, 11a// Neil Dover, Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill— Blind Dog Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill— Al & Cathy, 6p Saenger— Mobile Symphony Orchestra: 3p/// Smokin’ Elvis, 7p Mike, 6p Bywater Bistro— Neil Dover, 1p From Heaven to Earth Legacy— Tim Kinsey, 7p Cafe Del Rio— William Earl Smith Band, 6p Cafe Del Rio— Coleman Mason Band, 6p Veets— Dale Drinkard, 8p Lulu’s— Justin Yawn, 5p Celtic Irish Pub— The Green Mantles & Callaghan’s— Glass Joe Experience McSharry’s— Doc Rodgers & The Rock Special Guests Cockeyed Charlie’s— DJ Chill, 10p Dodgers, 6:30p Cockeyed Charlie’s— Ben Leninger & Felix’s— Soulshine [MON.FEB 22] — Blind Dog Shipp’s Harbour Grill— Brent Burns, 5p Friends, 10p Flora Bama— Jezebel’s Chill’n, 1p// Boudreaux’s Cajun Grill Felix’s— David Chastang Duo Mike, 6p Veets— Mark Willis, 8p SEND yOUR CLUB & MUSIC LISTINGS TO [email protected]

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 33 Nebraska’s

BY STEPHEN CENTANNI/MUSIC EDITOR youTube phenom [email protected] he Internet has been the contemporary music world’s most powerful tool. Seemingly obscure musicians have been able to jump into the spotlight via the use of a variety of websites and social media. Singer- songwriter Dustin Prinz can thank YouTube for DUSTIn pRInz launching his career. FRIDay, Feb. 19, Prinz began his musical legacy in his hometown of aT 6:30 p.M. West Point, Nebraska. This rural state with its endless miles of open land Moe’S oRIgInal bbQ, 701 did not provide many creative outlets, but the World Wide Web did. THe began reaching fans through his instructional series on Jamplay.com, SpRIng hIll ave., focusing on a unique style of guitar playing he calls “parapicking.” The www.MoeSoRIgInalbbQ.CoM style is described in his online bio as “a blend of hybrid picking and guitar TICKeTS: FRee tapping,” which was shaped by his experience as a drummer. Prinz also found YouTube to be a beneficial medium for his original songs and unique guitar style. Currently, his channel boasts more than 5.1 million “views” and 27,000 “subscribers.” Prinz will be performing a batch of versatile songs. “No Need to Know” (found on the “Feeling It” EP) blends warm acoustic strums with silken vo- cal work. He also layers percussion and guitar through live looping. “Gravy Train” is a quick, wild romp that draws its appeal from Prinz’s intricate skills with both his guitar and his voice. Photo | YouTube.com | Dustin Prinz

Gulf Coast banD: The MoDeRn elDoRaDoS honky-tonk DaTe: he Modern Eldorados are bringing Olde Towne SaTURDay, Feb. 20, Daphne back in time. Gretsch Lyles serves as the band’s front man, and both his musical style and pre- aT 7:30 p.M. sentation are carefully shaped by the glory days of venUe: mid-20th century country. The honky-tonkin’ guitar- ist/vocalist found his muses in greats such as Marty ManCI’S anTIQUe ClUb, Robbins, Johnny Cash and Hank Williams. Lyles’ performances are a hurricane of rockabilly, classic country and 1715 MaIn ST. (Daphne), western swing. His classic sound is accented by his live performances with www.ManCISanTIQUe- Ta slick, clean-cut look straight out of the past. Their style and sound has made The Modern Eldorados one of the most ClUb.CoM popular bands on the Gulf Coast. While the band’s show is filled with clas- sic country standards, they also have quite a bit of original material, which TICKeTS: $8 aT The DooR can be sampled through “The Rockmart Demos,” a four-song EP filled with the obligatory twang and waltzing beats driving classic country. Photo | themoderneldorados.com | The Modern Eldorados

banD: aDaM CRoCheT DaTe: SaTURDay, Mississippi Feb. 20, aT 10 p.M. venUe: goveRnMenT via Louisiana ake a little road trip as Government St. Grocery welcomes ST. gRoCeRy, Adam Crochet’s New Orleans blues to downtown Ocean Springs, Mississippi. If Crochet seems familiar to some, he 1210 goveRnMenT ST. is best known for providing his free-wheeling blues guitar (oCean SpRIngS, sound to Crescent City icons The Wild Magnolias’ 2013 release, “A New Kind of Funk.” MISSISSIppI), Afterward, he decided to concentrate on his solo material, recording his trademark “Louisiana Smooth Blues” on his own release “Real Good 228-818-9410 Love.” From funk to jazz, Crochet’s style mixes all the great sounds of New Orleans Twith blues. Several of the songs found on “Real Good Love” were crafted by organic TICKeTS: Call FoR improvisation. Crochet’s live jams evolved into solid tracks. MoRe InFo Crochet’s hybrid sound is perfectly captured on “Real Good Love.” Relying heavily on New Orleans funk grooves, the album’s opener, “Meltdown,” is rep- resentative of his style. Crochet pays homage to old-school blues with “No More Photo | adamcrochet.com | Adam Crochet Drifting” and “You Don’t Know.”

34 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 SouthSounds 2016 seeks local bands and artists BY LAGNIAPPE STAFF

WHAT: CALL FOR ARTISTS, SOUTHSOUNDS MUSIC AND ARTS FESTIVAL, APRIL 8-10, 2016 MUSIC WHEN: Deadline is March 8. RUNDOWN HOW: Visit www.southsoundsfest.com/mobilebayshowcase

outhSounds 2016 is gearing up for the best year yet. The festival, which will take place in downtown Mobile April 8-10, will feature some of the hottest emerging Southern bands and artists from a variety of genres, with bigger-name headlin- Sers than ever before. Some of the venues have already released their schedules for the weekend, but the official lineup announcement from the festival is expected in a

lagnIappe wIll alSo hoST The MobIle bay MUSIC ShowCaSe To aDD a loCal aCT To The MIx.

couple of weeks. Photo | Courtesy of SouthSounds Music and Arts Festival In addition to adding more prominent headline was named one of Billboard magazine’s “Dig- Handle Band, among others. And we hear In addition to these acts, Lagniappe will acts, a handful of artists deemed the hottest and ital Power Players” in the Oct. 24, 2015, issue. there will be a few more “big players” added also host the Mobile Bay Music Showcase to most promising by festival organizers will be invited Connell is one of 25 music industry execu- to the panel in the coming weeks. add a local act to the mix. On Friday night, to participate in the SouthSounds New Southern tives named as a leading digital strategist. These executives will offer guidance to selected local bands/artists will battle it out for Music Showcase, presented by Lagniappe. Also on the panel will be Atlanta’s Matt these emerging acts and choose one as the the chance to also showcase in front of these These acts will each play a 25-minute set on Wilson, partner/owner/artist management of winner of the New Southern Music Showcase. execs for the top prize. Saturday in front of a panel of industry executives, GT Music Group, the management company The winner will not only receive this recogni- Local bands interested in participating including Nashville’s J.D. Connell, SESAC vice for Moon Taxi, T. Hardy Morris, Roadkill tion but also a prize package that has yet to be simply need to make a submission through the president and counsel, new media licensing, who Ghost Choir, Dead Confederate, Sans Abri, announced, but which we hear is quite impres- SouthSounds website, southsoundsfest.com/ Great Peacock, Cicada Rhythm and Packway sive, with a value reaching into the thousands. mobilebayshowcase. Deadline is March 8.

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 35 ‘Hail, Caesar!’ FILMThe reel world uses film-within-film gimmick to good effect BY ASIA FREY/FILM CRITIC | [email protected]

on’t be fooled by the previews for the Coen is the single funniest thing in a movie full of funny things. within a film that are recreated so perfectly on each set brothers’ latest film, “Hail, Caesar!” The plot Like many a Coen cowboy character before him, Doyle Mannix visits. Scarlett Johansson’s Esther Williams-style aRea is not as ludicrous as it appears. Amid the is the level-headed center of the storm of the film; he is swimming sequence is simply enjoyable and interesting on TheaTeRS ostensible tomfoolery of the U.S. film industry also guileless, charming and adorable. His actions matter its own as a true example of that genre, and the choreogra- in the 1950s, the Coens grapple with questions more to the viewer than anyone else’s, and his character is phy in Channing Tatum’s Gene Kelly-inspired sailor dance CaRMIKe of art and faith and why people do what they the one you come closest to caring about. number is just plain good. Whatever might be less than CIneMa’S do, and even when they are playing, they are serious. Clooney is perfect as the Hollywood playboy so ac- vital in the plot of the film, the little movies within “Hail, Wynnsong 16 DIt is utterly hilarious quite often, but, as with all of their Caesar!” are sublime, loving, precise send-ups of many 785 Schillinger films, the interplay between tone, subject and theme are forgotten but beloved cinema genres. Rd. S. complex and shifting and they don’t always match up. In I HAVE FOUND WITH I have found with every Coen brothers film that the (251) 639-7373 “Hail, Caesar!” there are giggles aplenty, but you have to pleasures of viewing them unfold with each subsequent wait a long time between them. The film follows a day EVERy COEN BROTHERS FILM viewing. It’s not just the complexities, callbacks and inside in the life of Eddie Mannix, a “fixer” at Capitol Pictures jokes within the films themselves that you can appreci- CReSCenT who works day and night to keep the movies, primarily the THAT THE pLEASURES OF VIEWING ate once you’re familiar with the material, although those movie stars, on track and out of trouble. TheaTeR THEM UNFOLD WITH EACH seem to be virtually unlimited. So many of the structures 208 Dauphin These troubles include taking dirty photos, unwed of their films are peculiar and anticlimactic that removing Street pregnancy, kidnapping, ransom and transitioning a hand- SUBSEqUENT VIEWING. any sense of intrigue one feels in a first viewing makes the (251) 438-2005 some cowboy into a serious actor. While George Clooney, experience more rewarding. who gets kidnapped by earnest, intellectual Communist This film is so deliberately constructed, and the mov- screenwriters, gets top billing, the film is stolen by that ies within the movie are so detailed, that the feeling this handsome young cowboy Hobie Doyle, played by Cop- customed to waking up somewhere new that he doesn’t strange movie inspires is appreciation, not sheer enjoy- hollywooD pola protégé Alden Ehrenreich. bat an eye when he’s drugged and kidnapped, but rather, ment; thoughtful study, not uproarious laughter. The STaDIUM 18 Doyle is accustomed to performing horse riding and still in his Roman costume, takes an immediate interest in response is aesthetic, not emotional. But it sure does look 1250 Satchel rope tricks, and singing cowboy songs, so when he gets the Communist teachings and his kidnappers. He’s just not good, and everyone in it is doing something perfect and paige Dr. tossed into a prestigious drama directed by the pretentious actually in the movie that much. interesting. I can’t wait to watch it again. (251) 473-9655 Lawrence Larentz (a magnificent Ralph Fiennes) he is in “Hail, Caesar!” has an odd pacing; it drags, then pops. “Hail, Caesar!” is now playing at the Crescent Theater way over his head. Fiennes attempting to direct Ehrenreich The film’s greatest delights are the many styles of film and multiplex theaters. Rave MoTIon pICTURe JUbIlee SQUaRe 12 6898 U.S. 90 Daphne, (251) 626- 6266

CaRMIKe CIneMaS 23151 Wharf Ln. Orange Beach (251) 981-4444

Photos | Mike Zoss Productions/Forecast Pictures/Warner Brothers Cobb NOW pLAyING BROOKLyN TheaTReS Carmike Wharf HOW TO BE SINGLE (From left) “Hail Ceasar!” is a deliberately constructed, inspir- pInnaCle 14 All listed multiplex theaters. THE BIG SHORT ing and thoughtful Coen brothers film, worthy of repeat viewings. 3780 Gulf Carmike Wharf DEADpOOL Stephan James as track and field superstar Jesse Owens in “Race,” Shores All listed multiplex theaters. Pkwy Gulf THE FIFTH WAVE and “How to Be Single,” about six friends in New York City with a ZOOLANDER 2 All listed multiplex theaters. Shores All listed multiplex theaters. need to learn how to be single in a world filled with ever-evolving (251) 968-7444 13 HOURS: definitions of love. HAIL, CAESAR! THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Crescent Theater, all listed multiplex theaters. Regal Mobile Stadium 18 pRIDE AND pREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES NEW IN THEATERS The wITCh DIRTy GRANDpA eaSTeRn All listed multiplex theaters. Carmike Jubilee Square 12, Eastern Shore Premiere RaCe A horror drama set in 1630, this is ShoRe the story of a sister suspected THE CHOICE Cinema, Cobb Pinnacle 14 Track and field superstar Jesse pReMIeRe All listed multiplex theaters. of witchcraft when her youngest CIneMa 14 THE REVENANT Owens (Stephan James) prepares brother goes missing. All listed FIFTy SHADES OF BLACK to compete in the 1936 Olympics in 30500 Alabama All listed multiplex theaters. multiplex theaters. Regal Mobile Stadium 18 Berlin. All listed multiplex theaters. 181 #500 DADDy’S HOME KUNG FU pANDA 3 Regal Mobile Stadium 18 woMen oF FaITh: an aMazIng Spanish Fort, Al All listed multiplex theaters. RISen JoyFUl JoURney (251) 626-0352 THE FINEST HOURS RIDE ALONG 2 The biblical story of the Resurrec- This special four-day event brings Cobb Pinnacle 14, Carmike Wynnsong 16 All listed multiplex theaters. tion as seen through the eyes of a a world-famous team of Christian Information accurate THE BOy STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS nonbeliever (Joseph Fiennes). This women speakers to movie theater at press time; please screens on Feb. 18 and 20 and All listed multiplex theaters. Regal Mobile Stadium 18, Carmike Wynnsong 16 is hilariously close to the story of call theaters for March 3 and 5. Regal Mobile Sta- SpOTLIGHT showtimes. LIVING IN THE AGE OF AIRpLANES the fake movie “Hail, Caesar!” All dium 18, Carmike Wynnsong 16, Cobb Pinnacle 14, Carmike Wharf Exploreum IMAX Theater listed multiplex theaters. Carmike Jubilee Square 12

36 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 37 CALENDAR OF EVENTS feB ruA ry 18, 2016 - feB ruA ry 24, 2016

39TH ANNUAL MOBILE AREA ORCHID SHOW AND SALE AT BELLINGRATH GARDENS AND HOME

Bellingrath Gardens and Home will host the Mobile Area Orchid Society’s 39th annual Orchid Show and Sale from Friday, Feb. 19, through Sunday, Feb. 21. Mobile Area Orchid Society members will display their best orchids and be available to answer questions and provide tips on growing and car- ing for orchids. Vendors will be selling orchids, supplies and accessories. Guests may also shop for new spring merchandise in the Bellingrath gift shop. Admission to the Orchid Show is free and entrance to the gardens and home is discounted through Feb. 29 during Bellingrath’s Snowbird Spe- cial. The Magnolia Café will serve lunch from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., making it easy for guests to visit the gardens and home either before or after viewing the orchids on display. Hours for the Orchid Show are noon to 5 p.m., Friday and Saturday and 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Sunday. For details, visit bellingrath.

org or call 251-973-2217. Photo | Courtesy of Bellingrath

The Daphne Civic Center complex family heritage day with our 2nd annual Chili Cook-Off generAl inTeresT is located at 2603 U.S. Highway 98 Raphael Semmes Camp 11, Sons of on Saturday, Feb. 20 at noon. Team Bring back Amtrak in Daphne. For more information Confederate Veterans, will sponsor a registration is $25 for a chili team or For the first time in more than a please contact Daphne Public Works Family Heritage Day at Ft. McDermott $10 to enter a cornbread. Admission decade, a passenger train will roll into Department at 251-621-3182. on Spanish Main in Spanish Fort on Feb. is $5 to taste and judge the chili and Mobile! In hopes of generating enough 20, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. This event cornbread and includes a drink. Prizes will be awarded in chili and cornbread interest to restore Amtrak service to government street lunch forum will be a celebration of Confederate categories and include many great the central Gulf Coast, the “Inspection The Government Street Lunch Forum at heritage. We will serve free red beans gift certificates and cash prizes! There Train” will arrive at the old CSX platform Government Street Presbyterian Church and rice (while it lasts) to a background will also be activities for kids, including just south of the Convention Center at offers lunch and a speaker on Thursdays of period music. Uniformed re-enactors Brickz4Kidz Lego activities! For more 1:15 p.m. Thursday, Feb. 18. through March 17. The Feb. 18 speaker will demonstrate period weapons at a information call 251-366-4752. is Mark Johnson, author of the new Confederate military campsite. gumbo cooking class book “Apprehensions and Convictions: Ever wanted to learn how to make Adventures of a 50-Year-Old Rookie good seafood gumbo? Now is your Cop,” a memoir about his career in the ‘go red for women’ luncheon ArTs chance at the Gumbo Academy. Mobile Police Department. Johnson The American Heart Association annual Bettie Champion will share her recipe will sign copies of his book after his talk. Go Red for Women luncheon is Feb. 19 “moon over Buffalo” for success with the best seafood Lunch costs $10 and is served at noon; at the Renaissance Mobile Riverview Chickasaw Civic Theatre presents the Gulf Coast has to offer. The the forum begins at 12:30 p.m. There Plaza Hotel beginning at 10 a.m. Tickets “Moon Over Buffalo” for one more lecture/demonstration class will be is no charge to attend the forum. The are $75. For more information visit weekend at the Lola Phillips Playhouse, held Monday, Feb. 22, at 5:30 p.m. church is at the corner of Government algulfcoastgored.heart.org or call Erica 801 Iroquois St. in Chickasaw. The or Tuesday, Feb. 23, at 5:30 p.m. at and Jackson streets in downtown Hall at 251-463-7519. comedy centers on George and Government Street United Methodist Mobile. Call the church office for details Charlotte Hay, fading stars of the 1950s. at 251-432-1749. Archdiocesan council of catholic Church. The cost for the two-class women At the moment, they’re portraying course is $75, with all ingredients Archdiocesan Council of Catholic “Private Lives” and “Cyrano De furnished and one gallon of gumbo winter wednesdays at Bellingrath: Artist Women will hold its winter quarterly Bergerac” in rep in Buffalo, New York, to take home to your family. The Trailer mcQuilken meeting and luncheon on Feb. 24 with five actors. Call 251-457-8887 or go pot is all you need to bring to the Discover the world of Ocean Springs at the St. Ignatius Marian Center on to cctshows.com for reservations. cooking portion of the class. For more artist Trailer McQuilkin’s “Wildflowers” in Springhill Avenue. Registration is from information or to sign up call or email the final Winter Wednesday session at 9-9:45 a.m., meeting at 9:45 a.m., lenten music series Bettie Champion at championbettie@ Bellingrath Gardens and Home at 10:30 Mass celebrated at 11 a.m. with lunch Lenten noonday concerts are 30 hotmail.com or call 251-458-1570. a.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 24. The artist immediately following. Price for lunch minutes followed by a luncheon in uses copper, metal, oil paints and other is $12. Make your reservations with Beth the Chapter House. An $8 donation is forum Alabama natural materials to create exquisite Cain at 251-232-8862 or bethrcain@ suggested. The concert on Wednesday, The Mobile Area Chamber of sculptures that are a unique blend of bellsouth.net, or Margie Bunch at 251- Feb. 25, features a performance by Commerce invites you to attend a artistry and technical skills. McQuilkin will 661-6827 or [email protected]. Lynne A. Lauderdale and Christopher Forum Alabama breakfast featuring share his recent works and new book, Andy Wynne from St. Mary’s Home will W. Powell. The series are held at Christ U.S. Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Alabama) which guests may purchase in the gift be the speaker. Church Cathedral, 115 S. Conception St. on Thursday, Feb. 18, 7:30-9:30 a.m. at shop. Admission is $13 for adults, $7.50 For more information call 251-438-1822. the Renaissance Mobile Riverview Plaza for ages 5-12 and free for Bellingrath members and ages 4 and younger. For mobile Bay green drinks Hotel (64 S. Water St.). Make plans to join Mobile Bay Green Drinks is an informal us for this special opportunity to hear information and to register go to www. bellingrath.org or call 251-973-2217. networking opportunity for people in museums Sen. Shelby’s legislative priorities for the our region. Green Drink gatherings are coming year and ask him questions. usually held at 5-7 p.m. on the second da vinci: machines and robotics Breakfast tickets are $35 for members, Book signing at gulfQuest Tuesday of each month in at Fairhope Now through May, a new exhibit on $40 for prospective members. For more John L. Marty, author of “Hostages to Brewing Co. (914 Nichols Ave., Fairhope) the true Renaissance man, Leonardo information, please contact Carolyn the Sea, Waterman Steamships at War and on the third Wednesday of each da Vinci, will feature more than 60 Hunt at [email protected] or 1941-1945,” will be signing copies of his month at Alchemy Tavern (7 S. Joachim machines, robotics and artworks, 251-431-8621. recently published book on Saturday, St., Mobile). For more information visit many of them interactive. Some of his Feb. 20, at GulfQuest National Maritime facebook.com/MobileBayGreenDrinks. ideas that have come to life include daphne Arbor day Museum from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. The the bicycle, spring-powered car, The city of Daphne will hold its annual book draws its inspiration from the 1948 hang glider, helicopter and robotic Arbor Day tree giveaway on Saturday, Waterman Steamship Co. memorial fundrAisers drummer. Also on hand will be children’s Feb. 27, from 8-11 a.m. at the Daphne plaque currently hanging in the lobby activities, computer animations and Civic Center. As part of the city’s Arbor of the former Waterman Building in cinema. Other features are working Day celebration, 4,000 trees will be downtown Mobile. Copies are available Bright Beginnings Academy chili cook-off models and machines crafted from given away to promote the Jubilee for purchase at Treasures, GulfQuest’s Bright Beginnings Academy (1901 Leonardo’s original sketches, notes City’s plan to plant trees for a more museum store, at 155 S. Water St. in Schillinger Road S., Mobile) will be raising and designs, rare facsimile codices beautiful and healthier environment. Mobile. dyslexia awareness in our community and a biographical documentary.

38 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 CALENDAR OF EVENTS feB ruA ry 18, 2016 - feB ruA ry 24, 2016

Some of these will be interactive, with Ballroom dance Top cats Toastmasters fairhope city council visitors able to touch and control them. The Moonlight Chasse Ballroom Dance Top Cats Toastmasters meet every The Fairhope City Council meets Reproductions of Leonardo’s most Society hosts dance classes the first Monday from noon to 1 p.m. at the on the second and fourth Monday famous artwork, including “Mona Lisa” and third Monday of every month, Red Lobster near the southeast corner each month at 6 p.m. in the Council and “The Last Supper,” are part of the with professional instructors at 7 p.m. of Airport Boulevard and Azalea Road Chambers at Fairhope City Hall, 161 N. exhibit. Exploreum hours are Tuesday followed by dancing from 7:30-10 p.m. in Mobile. You can practice your Section St. City Council work sessions are through Thursday, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.; Admission is $10. This event is BYOB and speaking and listening skills and learn to held before each City Council meeting Friday through Saturday, 9 a.m. to 5 there is no need to bring a partner. think on your feet in a relaxed, friendly at 4:30 p.m. in the Delchamps Room p.m.; and Sunday, noon until 5 p.m. For Beginners are welcome. Fitzpen Place, atmosphere. Dues are $43 twice a at City Hall. For more information visit more information, call 251-208-6893 or 11247 State Highway 31, Spanish Fort. year, and lunch must be purchased. cofairhope.com. visit exploreum.com. For more information email Cassie Toastmasters International is a worldwide Fishbein at [email protected]. organization. For further information call fairhope planning commission The Fairhope Planning Commission Tutankhamun: wonderful Things from the 251-344-2938. pharaoh’s Tomb meets on the first Monday of each Bridge lessons downtown Toastmasters Through April 3, experience the life month at 5 p.m. in the City Council The Mobile Bridge Center offers free The Downtown Mobile Toastmasters and death of one of history’s most Chambers at Fairhope City Hall, 161 bridge lessons each Tuesday beginning Club 2815 hosts a weekly educational legendary kings through an exhibition N. Section St. For more information visit at 6 p.m. at the Mobile Bridge Center, lunch meeting at T.P. Crockmiers, 261 of more than 100 reproductions of cofairhope.com. 1510 University Blvd. Arrive a few minutes Dauphin St., from noon until 1 p.m. the boy king’s treasures at the History early to register. If you have questions, on Tuesdays. Practice your speaking, foley city council Museum of Mobile. The replicas call the Bridge Center at 251-666-2147 listening and leadership skills in a The Foley City Council meets on the range from beautiful recreations between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. relaxed, friendly environment. Lunch first and third Monday of each month of jewelry, enormous statues, Tut’s must be purchased. Our dues are $42 at 5:30 p.m. in the Council Chambers at nearly 300-pound, solid-gold inner twice yearly. Toastmasters International Foley City Hall, 407 E. Laurel Ave. Work sarcophagus and replicas of the is a worldwide organization. For more sessions begin at 4 p.m. before each pharaoh’s sacred and personal workshops information call 251-404-3924. regularly scheduled meeting. For more possessions including his state chariot, information visit cityoffoley.org. golden shrines, beds, thrones, jewelry, car Buying 101 Purchasing an auto can be stressful, Jubilee Toastmasters spectacular funerary mask, mummy Jubilee Toastmasters meet case and royal mummy. History Museum and costly mistakes can affect you for spanish fort city council years. Learn the tools of the trade when each Wednesday from 11:30 a.m. to The Spanish Fort City Council meets of Mobile, 11 S. Royal St. Call 251-208- 12:30 p.m at Homestead Village in 7508 for more information. it comes to dealer offers and financing. on the first and third Monday of each Register for this 6-7 p.m. workshop on Fairhope, in the Camellia Room. You month at 6 p.m. at the Spanish Fort Monday, Feb. 22, at Lifelines/Consumer can bring your lunch. We provide Community Center, 7361 Spanish Fort Thursdays at mmoA Credit Counseling, 705 Oak Circle Drive a supportive and positive learning Blvd. Work sessions begin at 5 p.m. Every Thursday from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m., E., Mobile. Space is limited, please call experience in which members before each regularly scheduled the Mobile Museum of Art offers free 251-602-0011 to register in advance. are empowered to develop meeting. For more information visit admission to all visitors. Join MMoA each communication and leadership skills. cityofspanishfort.com. week to experience the museum in new The meetings are open to anyone over and exciting ways throughout the year. homebuyers seminar 18 years of age. For more information No reservations are necessary. MMoA is This seminar is full of tips and visit www.9032.toastmastersclubs.org. Baldwin county commission at 4850 Museum Drive. information for those wanting to The Baldwin County Commission become a homeowner. Learn what you eastern shore Toastmasters meets on the first and third Tuesday of need to know about the home-buying The Eastern Shore Toastmasters Club each month at 8:30 a.m. in the County process to avoid making costly mistakes. hosts a weekly meeting at Daphne United Commission Chambers at the Baldwin sporTing evenTs/ This seminar starts at 8:45 a.m. and ends Methodist Church, 2401 Main St., in the County Administration Building, 322 at 3 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 20. Register Community Life Center on the second Courthouse Square, Bay Minette. Work AcTiviTies at Lifelines/Consumer Credit Counseling, floor, 6-7 p.m. on Thursdays. Practice sessions are the second and fourth 705 Oak Circle Drive E., Mobile. Due to your speaking, listening and leadership Tuesday at 8:30 a.m. with the location glow run limited space, please call 251-602-0011 skills in a friendly, relaxed and supportive rotating between the Baldwin County Wear your glow-in-the dark gear and to register in advance. environment. Guests are welcome! Administration Building in Bay Minette, join Ransom Ministries to kick off race Visit us on Facebook (facebook.com/ the Foley Satellite Courthouse, the season at the GLOW Run for Ransom EasternShoreTM) or email contact-8422@ Fairhope Satellite Courthouse and the 5K walk/run. The race is Feb. 20 at the toastmastersclubs.org. Baldwin County Central Annex Building self-improvemenT in Robertsdale. For more information Greater Gulf State Fairgrounds at 6 visit baldwincountyal.gov. p.m. The Ransom on the Road food community health outreach truck will be onsite to serve post-race Family Health, the primary care puBlic meeTings Baldwin county planning commission snacks. Proceeds from the race will fund division of the Mobile County Health The Baldwin County Planning several of Ransom Ministries’ projects, Department, will send its mobile medical mobile city council Commission meets at 6 p.m. on the first including Ransom Cafe, a donation-only unit to Gulf Village on Thursday, Feb. The Mobile City Council meets every Thursday of each month at the Baldwin restaurant with six locations in churches 18, from noon to 4 p.m. This community Tuesday at 9 a.m. in Pre Council County Central Annex, 22251 Palmer across Mobile and Baldwin counties; the health outreach will take place at 2002 Meeting in Government Plaza St., Robertsdale. For more information Clean Machine, a portable laundry and Ball Ave. in Prichard. A nurse will be Conference Room, 205 Government visit baldwincountyal.gov. shower trailer; a community garden in present to conduct basic screenings, St., on the first floor. The Council Hillsdale; summer youth service camps; such as blood pressure readings, height/ Meeting begins in Government Plaza saraland city council: Second and and Ransom ReProgram, an eight- weight checks and body mass index Auditorium on the first floor at 10:30 a.m. fourth Thursday, 6 p.m., 716 Saraland week job training program. For more measurements. The mobile medical unit For more information visit http://www. Blvd. S., 251-675-5103. is a modern health center on wheels cityofmobile.org. information about Ransom Ministries, chickasaw city council: Second and race sponsorships and registration visit with two exam rooms. Family Health staff can use the vehicle to provide intensive mobile planning commission fourth Tuesday, 7 p.m., 224 N. Craft RansomMinistries.com. This race is not a The Mobile City Planning Commission Highway, 251-452-6450. certified 5k. outreach focused on preventive health, chronic conditions and screenings to meets the first and third Thursdays in citronelle city council: Second and those who might not otherwise be able the Government Plaza Auditorium, 205 fourth Thursday, 6:30 p.m., 19135 Main irish dance lessons to travel to a traditional health clinic. Government St. at 2 p.m. For agendas, St., 251-866-7973. The Maccrossan School of Irish minutes, zoning information and more visit urban.cityofmobile.org. Dance is offering beginner Irish dance Addiction counseling creola city council: Second and fourth lessons every Saturday morning at Thursday, 6 p.m., 190 Dead Lake Road, Narconon would like to remind families daphne city council the Azalea City Center for Performing that the use of addicting drugs is on the #A, 251-675-8142. Arts, 63 Midtown Park E. Classes are The Daphne City Council meets on the rise. Take steps to protect your family satsuma city council: first and available for ages 4 through adult. first and third Monday of each month from drug use. If you know anyone who at 6:30 p.m. in the Council Chambers third Tuesday, 6 p.m. (working), 7 Learn the beautiful art form of Irish is struggling with drug addiction, get p.m. (regular session), 5464 old at Daphne City Hall, 1705 Main St. City highway 43, 251-675-1440. dance with instruction in jig, reel, figure them the help they need. Call for a Council work sessions are the second and ceili dancing! For more details free brochure on the signs of addiction and fourth Monday of each month semmes city council: first and please contact Julie Ann Black at for all drugs. Narconon also offers free at 6:30 p.m. at City Hall. For more third Tuesday, 6:30 p.m., 7875 moffett [email protected] or screenings and referrals. Call 1-800-431- information visit daphneal.com. road, 251-649-8811. call 228-239-2422. 1754 or visit DrugAbuseSolution.com.

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February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 39 Some blog-on-blog violence MEDIA BY ROB HOLBERT/MANAGING EDITOR | [email protected] MEDIA FRENZy

he world of ESho blogging got a bit rougher last week the Fairhope Times for printing false and libelous information of media. Ripp told me the story himself, years ago, about a when the man behind The Ripp Report and Baldwin about ME F. Paul Ripp. Three attempts were made in an effort to concussion from an artillery shell in Vietnam. Woke days later in County Legal Eagle claimed in his regular Friday email print a correction, all were ignored. The Fairhope Times stated the hospital ... supposedly. Used to sign his letters to editors ‘dis- that he was taking “legal action” against a fellow blogger that I received head injuries in Vietnam; I have never had head abled marine sniper,’” Watkins wrote. Twho runs the Fairhope Times. injuries or concussions. Any brain damage I may have suffered is Ripp didn’t respond to several emails asking about the matter. F. Paul Ripp, who has spent the past several years online the result of dealing with the corruption in Fauxhope and Bald- railing against what he perceives as injustices in Baldwin win County by elected officials and a corrupted judiciary,” Ripp ‘Apprehensions & Convictions’ County as a whole and in its many municipalities, claimed in What happens when a 50-year-old leaves his comfortable job his “Freaky Friday” email that James Watkins, who publishes with The United Way to pursue his dream of becoming the oldest The Fairhope Times, had libeled him. Particularly galling to The RIpp RepoRT anD bCle rookie cop in the Mobile Police Department? Ripp was Watkins’ assertion in a Jan. 31 post about Fairhope have TaKen legal aCTIon A book. Planning Commission issues that Ripp had sustained head A really interesting book — “Apprehensions & Convictions: injuries while fighting in Vietnam. agaInST The FaIRhope TIMeS Adventures of a 50-year-old Rookie Cop” — about the real life “And as always, one of those leading the charge against is FoR pRInTIng FalSe anD of Mobile Police officers seen through the eyes of Mark Johnson, curmudgeon, citizen-activist Paul Ripp who lives on Parker lIbeloUS InFoRMaTIon aboUT Me F. who served 12 years in MPD. Johnson offers a no-holds-barred Road, the development’s main entrance. His weekly ‘Freaky look at not only MPD, but the less gorgeous side of the Azalea Friday Ripp Reports’ often rant against the mayor or city em- paUl RIpp. ThRee aTTeMpTS weRe MaDe City. It’s a good read and should leave those who do so with a ployees (the latest lays out an elaborate conspiracy theory about In an eFFoRT To pRInT a CoRReCTIon, better understanding of what it’s like to be a cop in Mobile. this issue) — and usually advocates for election “clean sweeps” all weRe IgnoReD. Johnson’s already had a couple of local book signings, but of politicians if they don’t do his bidding. He has opposed the two more take place Feb. 18 — noon at Government St. Pres- so-called “Publix” project from its inception on various grounds, byterian Church at the corner of Government and Jackson, then including damaging Fly Creek. (Ripp is a self-identified “former later that day at 6 at Page & Palette Bookstore in Fairhope. marine sniper” who was disabled by a head injury suffered in an wrote in his Feb. 12 email. explosion in Vietnam in the late 1960s.),” Watkins wrote. But when asked if he’s being sued, Watkins said he has not AAA show coming Ripp’s response claimed he had asked for a correction from received any type of notifications indicating pending legal action. The 2016 American Advertising Awards Show will be Friday, the Fairhope Times but had received none, so he was taking “A short answer is no, I have received no complaint in writing Feb. 19 at 6 p.m. at Byrne Hall on the campus of Spring Hill Col- legal action. or otherwise from Mr. Ripp. Addresses are clearly published lege. Tickets are: $45 per person, $20 for students, and cocktail “The Ripp Report and BCLE have taken legal action against on my blog. I suggest it is his usual attempted manipulation attire is expected. For more information, visit aafmobilebay.com.

CROSSWORD p UZZLE Across 1. Noblest knight of the Round Table 6. Road around an ob- struction 10. I’m doing the same 12. Ornamental fabric 14. Publishes 16. Controller of child thieves 17. Conclusion 20. Inactive mammals 22. Securely confined 23. Smoke deposit 25. Characteristics 27. Title of a knight 28. Small island 29. Heats to melting point 31. Choose 34. Passageway 36. Connecting cham- bers 38. Compact down 39. Missile payloads 30. Method 1. First book of the Bible 41. Revolve 32. Set of beliefs 2. Current unit 44. Weirder 33. Head ornaments 3. Possessive pronoun 46. Wicked 35. Person who weaves 4. Tilted 47. Lever for rowing 37. Farewells 5. Givers 50. Fiend 39. Loud, rushing noise 7. Exclamation to express 52. Lake or pond 40. Southwestern Asian sorrow 53. Spoken 42. Make weary 8. Long stories 55. Plaintiff 43. Cricket team 9. Science fiction 57. Revolution 45. Revolving airfoils 11. Capital of Canada 58. Church council 48. Of Nordic stock 13. Vigor 59. Cooking devices 49. Extent 15. Protect 61. Witches 51. Suddenly brightening 18. Facial feature 62. Efface stars 19. Basic monetary unit 63. Contraction of need not 54. Mislay 21. Less fresh 64. Infected 56. Short respondent 24. Grow teeth 60. Become firm Answers on PAge 44 26. Stenographer

40 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 SPORTS Stabler’s Hall of Fame selection UpON FURTHER REVIEW wraps up incredible story BY J, MARK BRYANT/SPORTS WRITER | [email protected] | Twitter @goulaguy

find it very appropriate that the announcement of the late Kenny Stabler being named to the Pro Football Hall of Fame came on the biggest party weekend along the Alabama Gulf Coast. Because if “The Snake” had a mantra, it was “Let the IGood Times Roll.” An incredibly gifted athlete, Stabler was a winner on every level of competition. At Foley High School from 1961 to 1963, he quarterbacked the squad to a 29-1 record in the days prior to the state playoffs. It was in Baldwin County that he earned his famous nickname, bestowed on him by a coach after an amazing serpentine-style run produced a touchdown. In basketball, he averaged an impressive 29 points per game. He was even a star on the baseball diamond as a left-handed pitcher who would eventually be chosen in the Major League Baseball draft. But football was where Stabler gained his greatest fame. Recruited by Paul “Bear” Bryant, he had a 28-3-2 record as a Crimson Tide starter. His reputation began to grow as a senior, when he was suspended from the team for partying and cutting class. However, he was reinstated in time to beat Auburn 7-3 on his iconic 53-yard “Run in the Mud” which produced the game’s only touchdown. Photo | facebook.com/MobileBayTornados Drafted by the Oakland Raiders, he appeared to have secured a playoff win in 1972 on a 30-yard touchdown run. The play was The aMeRICan baSKeTball aSSoCIaTIon’S MobIle bay ToRnaDoS ReTURn To The CoURT SaTURDay lost in time, though, thanks to the “Immaculate Reception” by Pittsburgh’s Franco Harris. Several knee injuries would limit Sta- anD SUnDay, Feb, 20-21, To FaCe The JaCKSon ShowboaTS aT leFloRe hIgh SChool. bler’s future scrambling, but his incredible passing skills helped him to be named the NFL’s Most Valuable Player in 1974. He led Mobile and on Ono Island because of tax problems with the IRS. latest victory was a 135-118 rout of the Daytona Beach Sharks at the Raiders to their first Super Bowl title in January 1977, and Through it all, Stabler remained a hero for many local fans. He LeFlore High School. was a four-time All-Pro selection. was often seen around Mobile and at the Gulf, always happy to Double-figure scoring was supplied by Anthony Sims Jr. (28), Stabler was the ultimate quarterback for the Raiders, who were pose for pictures or to shake a hand. Erik Thrash (27), Tim Amerson (27) and James Buford (22). Ivan the antithesis of the buttoned-up and often conservative NFL. In Then in July 2015 came the sad news Stabler had died of colon Washington came off the bench to contribute eight rebounds. 1978, the infamous “Holy Roller” game took place when Stabler cancer at the age of 69. Then, just prior to his Hall of Fame an- The next home games will be against the Jackson Showboats began a three-man forward fumble that resulted in a 21-20 win nouncement, it was revealed Stage 3 chronic traumatic encepha- on Saturday at 7 p.m. and Sunday at 3 p.m. Both games will be at over San Diego. The NFL would later establish the “Kenny Sta- lopathy — a degenerative disease linked to repeated concussions the LeFlore gym, located at 700 Donald St. To learn more about bler Rule,” which would only permit a fumbling player to cover — was discovered in Stabler’s brain after his death. the team, visit www.MobileBayTornados.com. the ball in the fourth quarter. My one personal contact with Stabler came when I was a John Madden, Stabler’s coach at Oakland, had high praise for young reporter in Pascagoula, Mississippi. He was asked to speak his unorthodox leader. “I’ve often said, if I had one drive to win USA off and running to the crew of the USS Mobile Bay while it was at Ingalls Ship- The track and field team for the University of South Alabama a game to this day, I would pick Kenny,” the famous broadcaster building. Stabler kept the officers and sailors enthralled for hours is off to a notable start. Rafael Scott was recently voted the Sun said. “Snake was a lot cooler than I was. He was a perfect quar- with his many tales. Belt Conference’s student-athlete of the week after breaking the terback and a perfect Raider. When you think about Kenny, you At the end, I had my chance for a one-on-one interview. I told school record in the 60-meter dash for the second time in as many think about the Raiders.” him I’d enjoyed reading his autobiography, and that my favorite meets, with a 6.66-second effort. He also set a personal best in the Despite being the Raiders’ all-time leader in completions, pass- quote was no one had ever told him he couldn’t study his play- 200-meter-dash in 21.58 seconds during a meet in New Orleans. ing yards and touchdowns, he was traded to the Houston Oilers. book by the light of a jukebox. He just smiled, and said, “That The squad then traveled to Birmingham, where freshman Sean Stabler would wrap up his 15-year NFL career closer to home would just about sum things up.” Collins cleared 5.42 meters in the men’s pole vault, beating his with the New Orleans Saints. Stabler was a legend to me, and I doubt there will ever be own school record and ranking among the top10 in the nation. For better or worse, Stabler remained in the headlines after another one like him. Sophomore Jordan Friz’s 4-meter vault in the women’s competi- hanging up his helmet. He raised thousands of dollars for the Ron- tion is the best in the SBC this year. USA won the women’s title ald McDonald House of Mobile with his celebrity golf tourna- thanks to a triple jump victory by Kaitlyn Beans (12.8 meters). ments in Point Clear. He was a popular radio analyst for Alabama Tornado warnings in ABA The Mobile Bay Tornados basketball team remains atop the For the men, Scott finished first in the 60-meter dash (6.71 sec- football games, but left the booth after being charged with a DUI ABA Power Rankings with an impressive 13-0 record. Their onds) while Christoph Graf won the 800-meter run (1:54.24). in 2008. His troubles continued as he lost homes in downtown

February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 41 UPCOMING: Late winter: ANNUAL MASTER GARDENER SEMINAR Proceeds support the Mobile Master Gardener Horticultural more pruning and stump removal Scholarship Fund and other BY BRENDA BOLTON/MOBILE COUNTY MASTER GARDENER | [email protected] Educational Activities. MCMG is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. After the tree has been shaped by early pruning, the job consists Q: When and how do I prune my citrus trees? mainly of maintenance pruning: to remove broken and diseased limbs, When: to let more light into the tree interior and to remove suckers or limbs that Saturday, Feb. 27, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Congratulations for knowing NOT to prune your citrus trees in A: cross and rub other limbs. WheRe: fall! The temptation is to start whacking away at unruly limbs and stems It should be noted that our fruiting trees such as figs and pears, as well Mobile Botanical Gardens (Botanical in fall after a summer’s growth, but fall is the wrong time to prune fruit as vining and bush plants such as blackberries and blueberries, have dif- Center), 5151 Museum Drive trees (and most things) because you are causing the limbs to “de-harden,” fering pruning requirements. making them vulnerable to winter cold damage. (Assuming, of course, COST: we actually have regular winter cold again some day.) Neither is summer $30, includes a box lunch pruning recommended, except to trim out dead or damaged limbs. Q: I have a huge stump I need to remove quickly and cheaply. I’ve (Non-refundable advance reservations Citrus trees do not need annual pruning to encourage fruiting. Actu- heard of burning the stump by building a fire on top of it; does this work? required by Friday, Feb. 19.) ally, the only pruning usually required is for the removal of water sprouts I’ve also heard of filling drilled holes with something flammable and light- For information call 251-574-8445 or go (suckers) and dead, damaged or diseased limbs, or when the citrus plants ing it. I don’t want to blow myself up, so your comments are welcomed. to https://mg.aces.edu/mobile/ become too tall (above 12 to 13 feet), making overall management, category/announcements/ including freeze protection, difficult. A: While we love our cozy winter fires — in the fireplace — build- ing a fire on a tree stump is extremely unsafe and actually not very TWO GReAT SPeAkeRS: The best time to prune is approaching late February, after the danger • JASOn ReeVeS: of freeze has passed, and until just before bloom time in spring. Selective effective. In addition to the risk of blowing yourself up, you also run the risk of the fire smoldering underground in the root system, then sur- “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” maintenance pruning helps the tree develop a pleasing shape and ideal Curator, University of Tennessee Botani- size, and helps citrus, such as lemon and lime, develop their leader stems. facing in some unexpected place — say, the foundation of your home. Not the way you want to warm up a winter day! Burning out a stump is cal Gardens in Jackson, Tennessee. Leave short stubs when removing branches. This helps prevent entry of Come see how Jason uses “trash” to disease organisms into the trunk. also a slow way to get rid of it. Chemical stump removers are also slow, sometimes taking years. create gardens filled with imaginative The two basic pruning cuts are heading back and thinning out. art that showcases the dazzling plant The heading back cut removes the terminal portion of the shoot. This I can’t promise that the best methods are “quick and cheap,” but the collections in the UT gardens. promotes branching within a 10-inch area below the cut. The uppermost safe and effective method of stump removal is mechanical. Nothing bud will grow to be the new leader, and usually two to four other lateral beats a good grinder or an axe and a strong back. One option is to call • GReG GRAnT: buds below the terminal bud also grow. This type of cut is most often a professional, bonded tree-care company and have them “grind” the “Heirloom gardening in the South: used on young trees to induce branching and to develop tree structure. stump out. A cheaper option, if you have the energy, is to find your Paul Yesterday’s plants for today’s gardens” Thinning cuts involve removing a shoot at its origin. It is suggested Bunyan boots and dig down around the stump yourself to unearth the Award-winning horticulturist, writer, that thinning cuts, rather than heading back, be used in upper areas of roots and cut and remove each one as you find it. You will need to take conservationist, plantsman and winner trees to reduce height. This type of cut helps keep the tree from becoming an axe and cut apart the stump to remove as much of it as possible. of the 2012 Writers Association Silver overly bushy and maintains the tree’s framework and a reasonable height. Keep in mind that some cut tree roots will struggle to resurrect the Writers Award for his work on heirloom It is used on young trees to favor the development of certain limbs and tree and you may see new trees emerge where the root was cut. All gardening in the South, Greg’s “real job” shoots and is used on older, fruit-bearing trees needing light penetration living things fight to survive. You will need to watch for these and dig is at the Stephen F. Austin State Univer- into their interior. them out, sometimes for several years. sity’s Pineywoods native Plant Center.

42 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 43 Leo’s lack of law license no STYLE pORT CITy hindrance for SCOTUS pREMONITIONS BY DR. ZODIAC/ASTROLOGY GUY cooler on your doorstep daily. pISCES (2/19-3/20) — After realizing professional cud- CANCER (6/22-7/22) — Your small-batch salt cubes busi- dling services are being offered in Birmingham, you’ll immedi- ness will take off in a couple of months. Customers will be con- SCORpIO (10/23-11/21) — After seeing a friend using ately relocate to the Magic City in hopes of getting employed. fused by your product at first because the cubes look so much like an Apple Watch, you’ll decide to get with the times. As a part-time While other professional services involving human intimacy sugar, but the critics will be stunned at the taste. Many will remark museum tour guide with little income, you’ll forgo purchasing the aren’t kind to those of the larger persuasion, your husky build and as to the “salty character” of the new spice. You’ll market it as salt expensive accessory and instead wear your old Dick Tracy watch top-tier “spooning” game will all but guarantee your success as a that’s easier to store and easier to dispense than normal table salt. circa 1987. To outsiders, you will look dumb talking into a plastic plus-sized cuddler for hire. You’ll spend your next five years hold- As with everything nowadays, your hand-crafted salt will be popu- walkie-talkie watch with Warren Beatty’s face on it, but inside you’ll ing singles and couples alike on the couches of Jefferson County lar first on the West Coast and shortly become available nationwide feel awesome. Unfortunately, a toy collector will also think the watch before moving back to the coast to retire in Fairhope. to shoppers everywhere. is awesome and mug you for it at Public Safety Memorial Park. ARIES (3/21-4/19) — Seeing Barbara Bush attempting to LEO (7/23-8/23) — A sudden open seat on the U.S. Supreme SAGITTARIUS (11/22-12/22) — Fed up with televised revive Jeb’s campaign for the White House will prompt you to Court has you polishing up your C.V. to send to the White House. presidential debates featuring terrible people, you’ll save up for lean on your own mother when resolving issues at the office. The No, you’ve never had a formal legal education or practice, but a secluded home at a seasteading colony in the Gulf of Mexico. next time a colleague takes issue with your work record, you’ll you’ve been around, and binge-watching several seasons of “Law Hoping to get away from the political madness, you’ll pack your simply defer to the firm but loving woman who has guided you and Order” should count for something. Your strong opinions on bags for the floating libertarian hamlet in the Gulf. Unfortunately, since birth. When that’s still not enough, you mother can always abortion and the Second Amendment will probably never be vetted because of high insurance premiums you can’t afford the cottage — like Barbara — use her neck flaps to propel both of you sky- by Congress, but Code Pink will reserve a seat for you in the gallery you purchased on Ayn Rand Street. You’ll try to fortify the home, ward and away from the perils of workplace tension. the next time the judiciary decides to weigh in on women’s rights. but the colony’s building codes based on Fruit & Nut District archi- tecture won’t allow it. TAURUS (4/20-5/20) — In an effort to inspire Congress, VIRGO (8/24-9/22) — You’ll be proud of yourself for resist- you’ll work on a compromise to put the office’s latest lunch con- ing a tempting late-night invitation from an attractive stranger to CApRICORN (12/23-1/19) — Seven years after apply- troversy to bed. After months of having your delicious ham sand- drive 40 minutes one-way to provide them with a back rub and ing for a job with a lawn care company, you still receive monthly wich stolen from the office fridge and playing strong-but-respon- intense, overnight spooning session, but nothing more. You’ve emails rejecting your initial application. You have a job you like sible tricks in retaliation, you’ll reach an agreement with Matt in driven farther for less — one hour for lottery tickets, 50 minutes as a content curator, but the constant reminders of rejection rub shipping and receiving to stop the madness. Under the deal, he’ll for a 40-ounce beer, 45 minutes to buy your mom a gift card from a you the wrong way, like a blind man rubbing a brick on a cheese get to continue to eat only a portion of the sandwich each day, but boutique in Fairhope — but the maturity in deciding to decline the grater. You send a reply email saying, “I didn’t want to work there you’ll get unfettered access to the private, yet kind of disgusting, rendezvous will be a sign of progress worthy of reporting to your anyway!” but it bounces back, another sign you just weren’t cut out bathroom in the warehouse. It was the No. 2 best option. therapist. for the lawn care industry, or work in general. GEMINI (5/21-6/21) — In an effort to find some peace LIBRA (9/23-10/22) — Stepping on the scales for the first AqUARIUS (1/20-2/18) — You’ll get swept up in an unstop- between environmentalists and the petrochemical industry in Mo- time since Fat Tuesday, you find your Lenten fast to be paying prac- pable political force this week when supporters of Bernie Sanders bile, you’ll help Mayor Sandy Stimpson come up with an accord. tical dividends. Sure, it was always more financially motivated than and Donald Trump find common ground over their ignorance of In your plan, he will once again look at closing the Civic Center religious in nature, but Jesus himself would admire your resolve governmental operations and a mutual distrust of ever-expanding to Mardi Gras organizations as soon as possible and instead insist to cut out thousands of calories weekly in exchange for greater “mainstream media.” Whether it’s a reformed stoner who couldn’t that coal be stored under its dome. The plan will backfire when financial security and even the occasional modest tithe. While your tell you what Goldman Sachs does or a nationalist Neocon with am- parading societies decide to hold their balls each year amid the mother grows increasingly concerned about your well-being, she bious interpretations of the executive office’s power, it’s more fun coal and the coal becomes the most popular throw at Mardi Gras. will attempt to derail your discipline by leaving ample leftovers in a to be angry with others. Years from now, you’ll tell your grandkids you were there the day America “just couldn’t even” any more.

F CROSSWORD pUZZLE ANSWERS U T U R e S h o C K FROM pAGE 40

44 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 45 Boom Boom redux: STYLE gossip aplenty MOBILE MAGNIFIED BY BOOZIE BEER NUES/SOCIAL BUTTERFLY

ll right, so the Boom Boom has officially come and gone. one Tuesday organization’s knights were throwing sausage, and were the butt of a lot of their jokes. To give you a better idea, here’s We have now entered the season of Lent or, as Boozie that is not a euphemism. They were literally throwing packages of one: “Greer’s on Broad says SHOP LOCAL: Free Range Bienville thinks of it, 40 days of hell. We are hardly a week into it Conecuh sausage! Yum! Boozie hates she missed that! Squirrel .49 lb.” Another was “Roy Moore: ‘Put the Command- and y’all are already killing me! You don’t have to give Something you might have missed if you were too busy break- ments back!’ Gov. Bentley: ‘I agree — ALL NINE!’” Aup drinking and partying to be on the Big Man’s good side; in case ing it down was the MPD officer getting down himself. No, he I can’t leave out the make-out session that happened at She- y’all forgot, Jesus turned water into wine. No worries, though, I wasn’t being a jerk, instead he was imitating the dancers from nanigans downtown on Fat Tuesday. The couple looked younger have the last hoorah of Mardi Gras gossip plus some scoop from the band he was following and doing their dance routine. Boozie and were making out without a care in the world. Boozie likes down on the ol’ Causeway. If you gave up all things sugary and received multiple videos of this police officer from different spots that kind of attitude. delicious, then you are in luck because this column is pretty sweet on the parade route on Fat Tuesday and he was giving it his all. I And then, you know it’s Mardi Gras when you see this posted and tasty and is sure to help hold you over until Easter. guess if the police officer thing doesn’t work out he could audition on Facebook: “I’m sorry I threw up on you last night, buddy. for “So You Think You Can Dance?” Maybe we can talk it over at BierGarten later. Enjoyed seeing Mardi Gras leftovers Also, we failed to mention last week what was happening at you!” I am not sure his friend was too happy to see him that night. Yep, Mardi Gras is over but Boozie didn’t get to fill y’all in on the “Joe Cain West” celebrations. It seems around 450 people Yuck! all the gossip, because my spies were busy trying to forget those showed up for this year’s Ellivsyam at the Springhill Swim Club, five days packed full of drinking, Boom Boom and bad decisions. where they enjoyed libations aplenty and the sounds of The Mod- Causeway spill This past Saturday night at Traders was a wild one, according They finally got their acts together and here’s what was missed ern Eldorados and Jukebox Heroes to one of my spies. Boozie is thinking folks still had a lot of en- last week ... So if you missed Fat Tuesday, you missed bad dancing, Comic ergy left after Mardi Gras, or got some energy from the “Cause- This year’s theme for the Crewe of Columbus parade was Cowboys and make-out sessions. I’ll fill you in. Before the day way Tea” Traders serves up. The band Small Zoo was playing and “Apps.” One float was dedicated to The Weather Channel, and had really started, the bad dancing had begun. Two ladies had the place was packed. riding on the front was none other than Jim Cantore! Well, papier requested a song from the DJ outside Moe’s and it must have been I’m told the three bartenders could hardly keep up with all mache Jim anyway. The folks over at “America’s Morning their jam, because they were dancing like no one was watching. Then a group of college girls started dancing and one of the ladies the orders of drinks and Causeway Teas. Take it from Boozie, Headquarters” caught wind (get it?) of this and wanted to know came over to dance with them. Some things from that day cannot those things are dangerous. My spy said he thinks there were more. A masked man from the Crewe of Columbus identified be unseen. several parties going on, as the first song the band had to play was as “Tommy” was interviewed about the float. A source close to We hear the KOR parade and reception was once again a hit. “Happy Birthday” for a lady in the crowd. Tommy told Boozie AMHQ had said they were just going to talk Their lovely leading ladies had a Lundi Gras reception on the Later in the night the birthday girl was dancing with a guy in a little about the float and that was it. Well, they hit Tommy with second floor of the fabulous Merry Widow and all in attendance front of the band, having a great time. Things got a little sloppy a few extra questions, but he did great. He even plugged Mobile’s agreed it’s a fabulous place to watch the parade. I smell bookings and with a spin from her dance partner she went over a speaker, new slogan, “Born to celebrate!” If you were too hungover to five years in advance! bumping into a microphone and into the band in the middle of wake up in time to catch the live version, no worries — you can Also, we hear after the reception they had quite the Mardi Gras them playing a song. The band did not miss a beat, and once back watch the video on AMHQ’s Facebook page. #somobile house party at an undisclosed location, where the Bacon My Day on her feet, neither did she. If for some reason you didn’t make it downtown for the pa- food truck was serving tasty quesadillas to soak up all of those Not the first time that’s happened at Traders, and it won’t be rades, no worries, I’ve got you covered on what you missed. One “brew ha has.” We hear former City Council president Reggie the last, especially if you’re drinking Causeway Tea! parade-goer said he was close to catching an inflatable kiddie pool Copeland was spotted there. He’s still getting down! Go, Reggie! Well, kids, that’s all I’ve got this week. Just remember, from a float. Yep, you read that right, a kiddie pool … or I guess, Every year Comic Cowboys get down and dirty with their jokes. whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain depending on how drunk you were, a giant Frisbee. And we hear This year, Greer’s, Gov. Bentley, Auburn and Bienville Square ol’ birthday girl lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!

46 | LAGNIAPPE | February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 February 18, 2016 - February 24, 2016 | LAGNIAPPE | 47