REEL VERSUS REAL:

INNTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS WITHIN THE SOUTH ASIAN DIASPORA

by

Kasima Jennet Ali

A Thesis Submitted to the Faculty of

The Dorothy F. Schmidt College of Arts and Letters

In Partial Fulfillment of The Requirements for the Degree of

Master of Arts

Florida Atlantic University

Boca Raton, FL

December 2017

Copyright 2017 by Kasima Jennet Ali

ii

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I wish to express my sincerest gratitude to my committee members for all of their wonderful guidance, patience and support during the process of producing this manuscript. I truly appreciate my thesis chair, Dr. Susan Reilly, for her steadfast belief in my ability to accomplish this achievement. I am grateful to my committee members Dr.

Nanetta Durnell-Uwechue and Dr. Deandre Poole for their transparency, interest and advice about this project. I would also like to thank my family for being there whenever I needed them and for being so endlessly loving and encouraging. This would not have been possible without the support of my family, friends, and professors.

iv ABSTRACT

Author: Kasima Jennet Ali

Title: Reel versus Real: Interracial Relationships within the South Asian Diaspora

Thesis Advisor: Dr. Susan Reilly

Degree: Master of Arts

Year: 2017

This study analyzes the reactions of interracial relationships within the South

Asian Diaspora via film and literature focused on the United States and England. The films examined are Mississippi Masala (1992) and Bend It Like Beckham (2002), and the literature-utilized focuses on cultural identity, interracial dating, the importance of marriage, the Indian community, and gender roles focused on women within the diaspora.

The films used encourage the idea of interracial relationships as acceptable and give

South Asian women the confidence to be more independent. The intention of this research is to analyze the importance of cultural blending, independence, heritage, and traditional values. The focus behind this research is to understand the battle of traditional versus modern roles for women in the South Asian diaspora, and how independence can be viewed as a form of dishonoring and humiliating their families when they step outside of the cultural box.

v REEL VERSUS REAL:

INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS WITHIN THE SOUTH ASIAN DIASPORA

FIGURES ...... viii

INTRODUCTION ...... 1

Question/Research ...... 4

Literature Review ...... 5

MISSISSIPPI MASALA (1992) ...... 13

Kinnu and Mina ...... 18

Jay and Mina ...... 20

Anil and Mina ...... 23

Harry and Mina ...... 26

Alicia and Mina ...... 27

Demetrius and Mina ...... 28

BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM (2002) ...... 31

Sukhi and Jess ...... 35

Mohaan and Jess ...... 39

Pinky and Jess ...... 42

Tony and Jess ...... 46

Jules and Jess ...... 51

Joe and Jess ...... 57

vi DISCUSSION ...... 63

Parents ...... 65

Siblings ...... 68

Mina and Jess ...... 70

Boyfriends ...... 73

Friends ...... 75

Competitors ...... 76

Parental Struggle ...... 77

Conclusion ...... 80

REFERENCES ...... 93

vii FIGURES

Figure 1 Mississippi Masala Character Relationships Analyzed in Conjunction with

the Protagonist ...... 17

Figure 2 Bend it like Beckham Character Relationships Analyzed in Conjunction

with the Protagonist ...... 34

Figure 3 Mississippi Masala Character Connection Chart ...... 64

Figure 4 Bend it like Beckham Character Connection Chart ...... 64

viii INTRODUCTION

North America, specifically the United States of America is commonly known a culturally diverse country. For many ethnic groups, fusing with what is known, as mainstream culture is acceptable, however, that is not the case for all families. Many of these children growing up in the U.S. feel the need to uphold their parents’ traditional values and because of this they are stuck between the want to be like their peers and the neccessity to please their parents. Due to this predicament, the situation can become critical when it comes to dating and marriage.

This subject is of interest to me because I am an Asian Indian- American woman.

I was born in the United States, but my parents came from Trinidad, and generations before them came from India. Currently, my family lives in the United States. Growing up, I have always known about the Trinidadian culture and I have also traveled there, however, I have not experienced the Indian culture directly. Nevertheless, I am able to connect with the dreams and aspirations of young female characters within Bollywood films.

Typically, the female protagonists or heroines of older Bollywood movies, young

Indian girls, are expected to be sheltered by their families. In slightly modern, but still older films, the girls go to school, and dream about the future that awaits them, the future that they will create for themselves. But once they are married, that puts an end to their plans, unless they wanted to be a housewife. Many marry for the sake of their families, because it is appropriate for the family to think about the kind of in-laws

1 that they want. Because of this, women are trained from a young age with the mentality that it is of utmost importance to live to please their family members and their in-laws. Unfortunately, if they decide to branch out and stray from the path laid out for them by attempting to live for themselves and going on a new adventure in hopes of finding true love, then they are faced with the backlash from their families and communities. There is the constant threat of dishonoring and humiliating the family in the eyes of society. Fortunately, I am able to recognize my own family’s cultural heritage through Bollywood movies, and unlike these film heroines, my family has always encouraged me to get a proper education and pursue a career of my own choice.

The issue of identity is very important to me, because I am a Trinidadian Indian-

American woman. The identity of Asian Indian-American women is extremely interesting because although women may seem somewhat restricted by their traditional culture, within the American culture they seem to be free and independent. Does this occur because we try to blend our cultural heritage into the freedom we are given? Is this an actual possibility? How does our cultural heritage affect our forms of expression as well as their demeanor? Are we free to choose what we can wear? Do t women like me, feel attracted to people of varying cultural backgrounds? Are we allowed to even think that we can? Can we control not only our own lives, but who we love as well? There are many families that conform to the American norms, and their daughters have more freedom to do as they please. But even though there is freedom and possibly less pressure to get married as soon as possible, their families will still be on the lookout for a potential husband, as they want their daughters to marry at an appropriate age, 28-30 is considered too old.

2 I can definitely see both sides of the coin in terms of living in the United States.

For example, when I was growing up I wore shorts all the time, although the older I

became the more conservatively I began to dress. Unlike traditional girls, I do not know

how to cook, even though I am in graduate school and I should know how to make

something other than instant noodles. Many of my friends tell me that I am sheltered and

innocent, and I am not aware of the situation, but it does not always feel that way to me.

According to traditional families and even some relatives, I am of marrying age and so I

should start thinking about it, but I am more focused on my career at the moment.

However, I would like to get married in the future, but rather than women in Bollywood

films, I do not plan on giving up my career, I would like to continue to work even after

marriage and potentially have a stay at home job. Overall, I feel as though I am a mix of

both modern and traditional values.

Most recently, I have seen a change in romantic Bollywood films and Indian

Television. There has been a strong push for educated women, and because of this more women are allowed to go to college. Some get jobs in their fields of study, but when they get married, in the end they still have to give up their work for their family. However, there are a few films, not necessarily Bollywood, that entertain the idea that a young woman is capable of breaking from tradition and would marry a person who is not Indian and her family will accept the choice she has made.

In order to further explain this phenomenon, I plan to analyze literature and films focusing on young Indian women as they face the struggles of being traditional and modern at the same time while also focusing on their stance on interracial

relationships. In order to do this, I will focus on films specifically geared to women that

3 take charge of their freedom after being faced with the decisions put forth by their families. Due to the nature of a traditional yet modern identity, I must look at messages communicated by Asian-Indian American groups. I must also take a look at both the

Asian Indian public and private sphere in order to understand how women are supposed to be viewed within the home and family in comparison the workplace.

My hypothesis is young Asian Indian women raised in areas such as the United

States and the United Kingdom face a tremendous amount of pressure placed, by both their families and community to learn and embody the traditional values of their people while also being modern enough to fit in with mainstream stream culture and find a suitable life partner. I want to see how women choose for themselves their own life partners while maintaining the approval of their families.

Question/Research

The questions that this study seeks to answer are: What is it that creates the identity of Indian-American women? It seems as though they are bound by their culture, but does that mean their identities are restricted in terms of expression and demeanor?

Does environment play the ultimate factor in how they conduct themselves? And how they act and choose to identify themselves? Or do their relationships shape their independence? If they only associate with people of the same background are they doing it to be safe because it is safe? Do these women feel attracted to those of different backgrounds because it allows them to take charge of their own lives? Are women sticking to the typical traditional role as seen in Bollywood films or are they branching out and adapting a modern role?

4 In order to answer these questions, I plan to examine the relationships between

each of the young female protagonists, their parents, as well as the non-Indian love

interests within two distinct films. The films that I will focus on take place in the South

Asian (Indian) diaspora, of England and the United States. Each film contains a common

theme of expecting the daughter to follow tradition, but later on changing that expectation

and with it changing their views on relationships as well. Bend It Like Beckham

(England), and Mississippi Masala (United States), both focus on the development of

intercultural relationships on varied levels.

Literature Review

A woman’s identity in India has traditionally been tied to her family- a daughter

to her own parents, a wife to her husband, a mother to her child, a daughter-in law to her

husband’s parents - and to executing the duties associated with the roles they play in

these relationships (Kabeer, 2005). She must uphold cultural traditions and family unity,

while always being obedient, devoted, self-sacrificing, and the ideal homemaker. On the

other end of the spectrum is Western culture, encourages not only individualism, and

independence, but also has a “more elastic view towards gender (Mehta, 2009). “The

identity of the women in Indian cinema will be determined by the two forces-

“Collectivism’ which is a part of Indian traditional culture and the effect of growing

‘Individualism’ from the impact of Globalization.” (Irani 2013). These two forces are creating conflict in traditional cultures..

As an Asian Indian-American, it is important to understand the contrast between both cultural narratives of identities. They play a key role in not only constructing, but also re-shaping our personal identity narratives, as each culture influences other.

5 According to the traditional Indian cultural narrative, it is expected of women to sustain the home and maintain the family, and they must exercise an unrestricted amount of nurturance as well as self-sacrifice (Mehta, 2009). This may seem to be the cultural narrative that is expected of most women in a majority of different cultures. There is a line of research that implies that there are cultural pressures to preserve these characteristics of the traditional Indian female identity as women continue to survive in new environments. Not obeying these beliefs often translates to idea of perceived failure and humiliation for the family and/or Indian community (Rastogi & Therly 2006,

Abraham 1998, Mehta 2009). Hence, the traditional environment sets forth certain expectation, that if not met ‘ruins’ the family, even in a new cultural location.

Middle class traditional women were taught that they should use their education as a tool in order to increase their likelihoods of finding a husband with a good social status, rather than as a means of increasing their independence and moving forward in their careers. However, there is a sign of women’s roles changing in traditional societies.

According to Shuter (2012), “Indian women in middle and upper income homes are encouraged to further their education, attain undergraduate and graduate degrees, and compete with men in the marketplace for professional careers.” This is definitely a step forward for women, especially because in today’s modern society the fight for education and equal rights is a very prominent issue in the United States. But what does being modern mean? The concept of modernity has been tied to women not only becoming more self-sustaining, but also entering the public sphere. A modern woman is considered someone who not only works but also has a family and is an independent thinker and actor.

6 Caught between traditional and modern expectations, these women experience contradictions. Even though some families may be extremely traditional it would seem that traditional Indian cultural expectations have less impact on the children of immigrants from India (Bacon, 1996). Particularly, in families that immigrate to modern societies like the U.S. and England. Although, South Asian women are traditionally supposed to be submissive, docile, lenient, and that they work for the collective, the whole, in modern Western cultures they are supposed to be independent and individualistic (Inman, 2006).

Hence, there are conflicting opinions among children of immigrants in regards to the Asian Indian-American Identity. In modern western societies, certain things are expected as second generation Indians view being an Indian-American as rather challenging. As an Indian American sharing their cultural artifacts and traditions are fascinating experiences. For example, equal education between men and women is a completely normal issue that one would think is easy to come by. According to Kurien

(2005), “Asian Indian Immigrant parents tend to view education as a means to reduce racial and ethnic barriers in the U.S. within traditional culture, however, educational attainment holds different meanings for men and women.” However traditionally education is way to increase the chances of finding a suitable partner (Dasgupta and

Warrier 1996).

But because there is pressure for this generation to fit in, be independent and be modern, women’s attitude towards higher education are changing. Higher education leads to better paying jobs, self-sufficiency and financial independence. There is an increase in

7 the number of women becoming a part of the workforce. But getting an education in order to be financially stable is not the only thing on a modern Indian American's mind.

A big part of the American culture is dating, but in the Indian and American cultures the meaning of dating is very different. Many Indian immigrant families will reject the idea of dating because it is viewed negatively and Indian parents believe that the concept of going out on dates before marriage goes against traditional Indian culture.

They also believe that dating will negatively influence the wellbeing of their children, if it gets in the way of studying. If a child does poorly in school it leads to a degeneration of family values (Dasgupta 1998, Bacon 1996).

However, many parents realize that their children are missing out on growing up as part of the young American adolescence if they are not allowed to explore and date.

Due to this, group dates are often a good way to accept the American culture that encourages dating, while also sticking to the Indian view that dating as a distraction that might hurt academic achievement (Bacon 1996). Second generation Indians also have varied views on dating. Some view dating as a way to get to know other people. Some see it as a valuable experience because they would not want to marry someone they did not know. Others see dating and marriage on the same level. It is done with the intention of marrying. There are those that believe they do not need to date until the ‘appropriate age’ because it will decrease the chances of divorce (Bacon 1996).

There are more varied stances about interracial dating. According to Mok (1999),

“Asians in interracial relationships with white Americans are not uncommonly accused of having little prides in their ethnic culture, and in some cases disowned for dating a non-

Asian” (Fujino 1997, Manohar 2008, Mok 1999). Some research suggests that minorities

8 that had waning bonds and attachment to their ethnic communities and identities are more likely to date interracially than others. But Mok (1999) found that the level of attachment to ethnic identity was not a notable factor in determining the probability of interracial dating (Mok 1999).

In addition, for Asian Indian immigrants, there are many factors that come into play when it comes to selecting a partner. Bacon (1996) states the pressure that many

Asian Indians are faced with is from family as well as from the Indian community, to marry within their own status, ethnicity, religion, caste, etc. There are some parents that place a substantial amount of importance on ‘required’ characteristics for a potential spouse, and this has a large influence over who their child will potentially marry. For example, they must have a good educational background, a well paying job, live in a suitable neighborhood, etc. But there are other parents that will leave this decision up to their children (Abraham 2005, Bacon 1996).

Most typical marriages include both arranged and ‘love’ marriages. For an arranged marriage, traditionally there has been the expectation to adhere to established gender relations. It is widely expected that women are the ones responsible for promoting and maintaining a sense of unity and stability within the family (Abraham 2005). But there are many second generation Indians that believe they should not be pressured into an arranged marriage, but rather be free to make their own decision. A ‘Love’ marriage refers to those in which a man and woman decide to get married with little to no influence from their family. Although there has been a rise in the amount of interethnic marriages amongst Asian Indians in the diaspora, they are generally unaccepted by the

Indian community (Abraham 2005).

9 Although, interethnic relationships are increasing, interracial relationships are the ones that are more shocking for the Asian Indian community, because that means Asian

Indians are not keeping themselves within the group. Two prime film examples of this situation are Mississippi Masala and Bend It Like Beckham. These films have had an impact on freedom of choice and relationships in the Asian Indian community.

The film Bend It Like Beckham (2002), focuses primarily on Jess ( Jesminder

Bhamra), a young British-Punjabi girl, and her desire to play women’s football (soccer in the U.S.), whilst also finding love along the way with her Irish coach, Joe. According to

Nurjaman (2016), “the movie “Bend it Like Beckham” is a good example of how a modern Indian woman struggles to balance her culture and her dream of becoming professional football player.” This film also “discusses the life of the Indian diaspora in

England ”(Nurjaman 2016). This film allows viewers to see a young Indo-British, Sikh girl fulfill her dream of becoming a football player, rather than thinking about going to a

University or finding a husband like her sister. The film has a strong focus on gender, and racial prejudice that both Jess, and her father are faced with.

A key scene is when Jess is given a yellow ticket, because she rushes another player who calls her a Paki during the match. When Jess accused her coach Joe of not understanding her distress “ Joe emphatically replies, “Jess, I’m, Irish. Of course I understand what it feels like.”” (Chacko 2010, p. 85). Based on reviews of this film, it is clear to see that this scene strikes home for a lot of Indian viewers. “Racism is condemned, as is a victim's bitterness about being on the receiving end of it. Jess' dad has to come to terms with the way he was treated as a young man [when he wanted] to play cricket. After being tossed out of the clubhouse because of his ethnicity, he ...never

10 played again. Years later, he realizes his vengeful attitude only hurt himself, not the ones who abused him.” (Isaac, 2003). There is another key scene regarding the upcoming relationships of Jess and her coach, Joe. “Pinky, Jess’ sister, flares up when she suspects that Jess might be in love with Joe. She is worried that Jess will be [rejected] if she marries “the English bloke.” When Jess tries to tell Pinky that Joe is not English but Irish, she says, “Ya, well they are all the bloody same thing to them, isn’t it?””(Chacko, 2010, p. 85). This is not a relationship expected or accepted by Jess’ parents.

Similarly, in Mississippi Masala (1992), Mina, an Indian girl born in Africa who later migrated to the U.S. with her parents, is bored with her daily routine. She wants freedom and she finds that freedom in Demetrius, a black man with his own cleaning service. Although Mina acts on her feelings of choice and her desire to be with Demetrius once their relationship is found out both families are against it. “It’s an insular community, and there’s an expectation the children will marry within this bubble. So the idea of Mina falling in love with anyone but an Indian man is unfathomable. “ Can you imagine turning down Harry Patel for a black man?” a gossip says, referring to a rich

Indian man who’s considered an aspirational match. From the Indian community’s point of view, Mina’s romance with Demetrius is unnecessarily rebellious, and over time,

Demetrius’ family, once enamored of Mina, find this hostility burdensome.” ( Sen,

2016). For the couple although outright racism does not seem to be an issue, both are subjected to dislocation from their own ethnic group. “Mina and Demetrius must fight the sense of cultural dislocation that, for different reasons, has become a part of the heritage of each.” (Canby 1992). At the end of the film, Mina and Demetrius decide to take matters into their own hands, they run away with each other over state lines to start their

11 new lives. They leave their families and focus on what it means to create a life of their own.

In a Bollywood movie, chances are these couples would have been caught and someone would have beaten up the make, and the female would have been locked in her room. They would have gotten an earful about how the family has been disgraced or tension would rise in the family and the parents would resent their daughter for ruining their reputation in society.

In order to further understand the background of these relationships and how they differ, further research must be conducted. To do so, I intend to do close readings of these films in order to compare the traditional relationships with the non-traditional relationships.

Each film affected my own ideas of an acceptable relationship as well as marriage in different ways. I have always been aware of interracial relationships, but it did not seem possible for Indian people. After watching these films, I have realized that the very idea of it has been around since before I was born. Rather than traditional marriages, it is becoming common to have non-traditional marriages because with changing times comes changing views.

12 MISSISSIPPI MASALA (1992)

In 1972, the Ugandan dictator Idi Amin authorized the forceful removal of all

South Asians from Uganda and the nationalization of their property. A family of three

Ugandan Indians, Jay and Kinnu, and their daughter, Mina, are reluctant to leave their mountain home near Kampala and flee the country. Jay, a lawyer in Uganda, during a

BBC interview supports the downfall of Idi Amin, and he is arrested for treason. Thanks to his close friend/African brother, Okelo, he is able to be freed. After being released and before leaving the country, Jay tells Okelo that Uganda is his home and he wants to stay, but Okelo tells him that from now on, Africa is for Africans only, Black Africans.

Jay feels that his best friend, Okelo, who is a native Ugandan and refuses to say goodbye to him, has betrayed him. Mina runs to Okelo and hugs him before the fellow leaves. Whilst leaving, the bus Jay and his family are on as well the other Indians is stopped by the military. They get on the bus and look around, and then tell Kinnu she must get her bag and take it outside. When Jay tries to protect her by going instead of her the militiamen point their guns at him and Mina. Kinnu goes outside and is told to open her bag and take everything out. They then snatch her jewelry, and Kinnu falls to the ground crying, while it rains down around them. When she gets back on the bus, she does say anything, but instead holds on to Mina and silently cries. Jay and his family sadly relocate to England.

13 After a few years they move to Mississippi to live with Jay’s relative who own a chain of motels. Jay continues to brood about losing his property and ruminates about someday returning to Kampala with his family and regaining what he lost. His wife,

Kinnu, helps manage the liquor store that they own, and their daughter Mina works by cleaning rooms and bathrooms in the motel that her relatives own. Mina has fully adapted to American culture, and soon meets with a car accident that would change her life.

She accidently drives her cousin’s car into the back of the van of a young African

American man named Demetrius, who owns a carpet-cleaning business. Mina’s relatives are extremely upset about her mistake, especially because the car belongs to her cousin,

Anil, and he is getting married soon.

Mina’s mother, Kinnu, wants her daughter to date a successful man in the South

Asian community named Harry Patel. A date is arranged between the two, and Harry and

Mina stop at a bar where there is music and dancing. Demetrius and his ex-girlfriend,

Alicia, are at the bar. Demetrius asks Mina to dance in order to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Mina is genuinely attracted to Demetrius and ignores Harry, who leaves.

Mina and Demetrius begin to see each other. Demetrius invites her to meet his family. Mina impresses his father, Willie Ben, and the rest of the family, and Demetrius’ aunt Rose, tells him that she never liked Alicia. Willie Ben, on the other hand tells

Demetrius early on, that he has always liked Alicia, and he would like her to be part of the family. Mina’s family does not know about her developing relationship with

Demetrius. When the couple decides to spend a weekend together in Biloxi, members of

Mina’s family spot them. Anil, Mina’s cousin who owns the motel where she works, feels that she has brought shame to the family and does not want Mina to meet with

14 Demetrius again in order to make amends to her family for her behavior. The two realize that they need to break away from their families’ prejudices. Jay, holds a grudge against

African Americans because of his experience in Africa and Mina is faced with outright displeasure from the black community because of her South Indian families perceived racism. Demetrius meets with Jay and confronts him about his racism. Knowing the racism that South Indians face in Mississippi, Demetrius calls Jay a hypocrite.

Demetrius threatens to sue Anil for defamation of character because his credibility is being questioned. As motels no longer want to work with him, Demetrius decides that suing Anil is the best course of action if he does not want to lose his business, and have all his hard work go down the drain.

Demetrius loses his clientele because of the other South Indian motel owners that do not want to work with him because of the gossip about him and Mina, and finally the bank tells him his van will be repossessed. Mina tries to speak with Demetrius in order to apologize and they make the decision to run away together, despite their families’ protests over their racial differences. Before they leave, Mina calls her mother and tells her that the two wish to be together. Kinnu accepts Mina’s decision. Mina and Demetrius get into the van and leave Mississippi.

Sometime later, Jay, Mina’s father, receives a notice from the Ugandan government and goes back to see about recovering his seized property. While he is there, he tries to locate his Ugandan friend in order to make amends, but he is too late. His friend is no longer alive. The country is no longer what it once was and Jay no longer feels part of the country. He realizes that home is where his wife, Kinnu, is. He returns to

15 America, to live out his life with his wife. Across state lines, Mina and Demetrius are happy to be with one another, enjoying the company of one another.

16 Figure 1 Mississippi Masala Character Relationships Analyzed in Conjunction with the Protagonist

The chart above represents the character relations I will be examining in each

film. Based on the similar sets of characters within each film, I will be comparing the

relationships between the main protagonist and each supporting character. In terms of the

main protagonist, I will be focusing on the role she is dealt with as a daughter, the effects

of her parents relocating, as well as the demands she must deal with as a daughter fitting

in within both the new and old cultures.

17 Kinnu and Mina

Kinnu, wife of Jay, has always had a good relationship with black people. She got along well with Okelo in Uganda and Skillet who is a customer at the liquor store. Kinnu comes from an older Indian society and only wants what is best for her daughter. Though she tries to follow the traditions of her culture, like Mina, she cannot actually do that because she runs a liquor store and works rather than staying home and looking after household chores.

Unlike Mina, she believes that family is the strongest support and family members should care for one another. Rather than being connected to one particular location, she has developed special connections with the people in her life. Kinnu wants to help Mina have a better life by setting her up with Harry Patel, a well off man from the

South Asian community who can give Mina the life Kinnu thinks she deserves. Kinnu is focusing more on the traditional values of matching her daughter up with a potential suitor, where as Mina exerts her own preference. Kinnu understands the struggles that her daughter faces, but still abides by the societal structure that she grew up with.

When she talks to Mina about what is was like marrying Jay, the smile on her face, the feeling it gives her is the same feeling she wants Mina to have. During Anil’s wedding, Kinnu wants Mina to change her shoes so that she will look presentable to a suitable partner. Considering the traditional ways of marriage, it would be ideal for someone to see Mina and take a liking to her. When Harry asks Mina to go out and Mina tells her mother, Kinnu is very happy and tells Jay. This would mean there is a chance of getting Mina matched with Harry, which is exactly what Kinnu wants. But later that evening when Mina comes back from dancing originally with Harry and later Demetrius,

18 we see Kinnu speaking with Mina telling her that she always says, “to go out more and meet people”.

Kinnu wants her daughter to have the freedom to go out and mingle with others.

But it also means that the people she should hang out with are like Harry Patel, then, like a traditional Indian mother, perhaps she will get an offer of marriage for Mina. Kinnu does not pose many restrictions on Mina, rather she wants her to be free. But Kinnu wishes for Mina to be more grounded in her culture. When she tells Jay that Mina is leaving with Demetrius, she says it is because Mina is his daughter, just like him. “She can’t grow here anymore” (Kinnu, Mississippi Masala). Though Kinnu tries to keep Mina from leaving, because as a mother she does not want to lose her only child, she knows if she wants to still be connected to her daughter, she will need to compromise.

Mina, who grew up in Uganda and has a wonderful relationship with black people. She is always polite, friendly, and respectful. In order to help her family, Mina, like her mother works, but rather than the liquor store, she works in the motel owned by family. Mina wants to fall in love like her mother, and find true love herself rather than having her romantic relationships arranged. She believes herself to be American and lives in the modern world. “This is America, no one cares!” (Mina, Mississippi Masala). She believes that she has the freedom to do as she pleases while she is living in this country.

She wants to be free from restrictions. Mina talks to her mother about how her dad fell in love with her mother and what it means to her to have a relationship based on love. That is all that Mina wants in a relationship--love and understanding. It is the very basis of the relationship that her parents have and she wants to be able to find it herself.

19 When getting ready for Anil’s wedding, Mina tells her mother, “Face it Ma, you got a darkie daughter” (Mina, Mississippi Masala). This is important because although

Kinnu is fair, Mina is not. Because South Indian culture values women with light skin, it is harder to find a suitor for Mina. Unlike her mother, Mina is totally fine with the color of her skin. When Harry asks Mina out, both she and her mother are happy, but for two different reasons. Kinnu is happy because she was going with Harry, Mina is happy because she is able to escape from the wedding. Mina is very happy when she gets back from her date, and because she is happy her mother is also happy. Family means a lot to both Kinnu and Mina because even when Mina tells her mother she is leaving, she compromises with her and says she will still call home. Mina and her mother are similar in the sense that they are willing to compromise to keep things safe.

Jay and Mina

Jay, Mina’s father, grew up in Uganda and lived there happily until Idi Amin expelled him. He feels no place can be considered his home except for the one he once had in Kampala. Born in Uganda, Jay feels no commitment to India. He follows the

African culture, but retains aspects of his Indian heritage. He considers himself African first and Indian second. His strong attachments to Uganda are what drives his daily motivation to reclaim his property back in Kampala. Though Jay grew up amongst blacks, when he was being kicked out of the country, he felt betrayed and began to distrust black people. But it was what his best friend, Okelo, told him that made him truly distrust them. Okelo said, “Africa is for Africans only, black Africans.” This one line made Jay harbor a distrust for blacks that has lasted for many years. As a lawyer, Jay

20 always fought for what he believed in. He did not believe the exile of Indians from

Uganda was fair, so he sued the government of Uganda to get his property back.

Beside this, his priorities lie with Kinnu and Mina. He wants Mina to be able go to college, but he struggles with guilt because she is stuck working in motels because he cannot afford to send her. This makes him even more insistent on winning his lawsuit.

Throughout the film, his main focus, which can seem as selfish, is on winning his case.

His reputation in Mississippi amongst the Indian community is as a crazy man that spends all his time suing the government of Uganda for his property. Even when Jay and his friends are together, it is still on his mind. At one point he picks up the phone to call

Kampala in order to tell whoever is in his house to “get out”.

Jay is stubborn, and we see it especially when Mina is the subject of discussion.

Because of his distrust of black people, when he finds out Mina is in a relationship with one, he forbids her from meeting him again. Jay is strict about the separation of Mina and Demetrius because he does not want her to have to deal with the same betrayal that he experienced. He says he “respects Mina’s choice and she is free to love whoever she chooses, however, this does not absolve him of his fatherly duties”. As part of his South

Asian heritage he feels the need to find a good match for his daughter, and that her parents approval should be taken into consideration.

Mina, like her father does feel the connection to her birth country, but she is not bound by her former country like her father is, rather she has adapted to each place she has gone to live. Also, Mina is like her father when it comes to going after what she wants. Mina says when her father wins the lawsuit, and he gets the money, then she will think about college. This is in part due to her feelings for her father of wanting to fulfill

21 his dream of her furthering her education and making someone of herself, and partly because it would also be a good opportunity to leave home and venture out on her own.

Like her father, Mina is a bit selfish when it comes to focusing on what she wants. She does not think about the repercussions of her behavior. She fights for her love with

Demetrius even though it risks her relationship with her family. She claims this relationship is the only thing she has ever wanted. She does not understand why she is not free to love whomever she wants.

Rather than being sorry about the situation, she is stubborn when it comes to wanting to be with the person she loves, to the point that she is forbidden from seeing him. When Mina calls her family to tell them she is leaving, her father gets off the phone and she desperately wants to know why he put the phone down. It was as though all he receives are disappointments; because he is losing the very person he wanted the best for.

Although Mina cares for Africa, not to the same extent as her father, we see her embrace that part of her life at the end of the film when she and Demetrius wear African clothing.

Overall, Jay and Mina are similar when it comes to stubbornness. Jay has his own way of securing his family’s happiness, which he believes still lies in Uganda and he tries very hard to accomplish that. But in Mina’s case she decides to secure her own happiness, with or without her family’s approval. Jay and Mina are similar when it comes to not realizing how the world reacts to their desires, but in terms of traditional versus modern behavior, at various points we can see they are both modern in their thought process.

From going to college, to owning a chain of stores, there is freedom in education and career. But love and marriage is different. That is when things split and we see the

22 traditional versus modern ideal. Jay is fine with Mina loving whomever she chooses, but

he must still approve. Mina on the other hand thinks she should be free to love who she

wants to and that is all that matters.

Anil and Mina

Anil is Mina’s cousin, though it is not clear that he was born in India, it is true that he has set up his business in Mississippi and is becoming more like an American to the point of adopting a southern accent for his business dealings. Anil’s father Jammu and

Jay, Mina’s father, are considered brothers as they used the word bhai (brother) with each other’s names. But Anil and Mina, are poles are part and do not like each other. Anil wants to be respected for all his hard work. He has helped Mina’s parents by lending them the money to get their liquor shop going and allows Mina to use his car. When Mina crashes Anil’s car, he yells at her like an older brother whose younger sibling ruined his favorite possession. Mina’s parents defend her saying it was an accident, but Anil is angry because of her non-apologetic attitude.

Anil is also worried that he will get sued for the damages done to the vehicle that

Mina hit. Anil and Mina are complete opposites. He follows the traditional values set up by his South Asian culture, by not only supporting his family and helping them, but also

by having a traditional marriage. Anil gets married in the Indian way to an Indian girl,

surrounded by the Indian community. He makes his father proud and everyone celebrates

his marriage in a traditional manner. They have singing, pictures, and they say a prayer to

celebrate the couple.

When Pontiac (Anil’s friend) sees Mina with the carpet cleaner, he tells Anil who

does not believe him. But then they see Demetrius’ van outside of a motel near the beach,

23 and Pontiac grows more suspicious and says he knew he saw them together, Anil says that Pontiac is insulting his family honor. When Anil finds out Mina and Demetrius are together he gets furious. He tells Demetrius to “stay away from our women” and they fight with one another. Anil does care for Mina, like an older brother that does not like his sister all the time, but when it come to her honor he lunges into action. When

Demetrius calls to talk to Mina, Anil says that she is not there, anything to keep the two separated from each other like Mina’s parents want. But when Anil is sued by Demetrius for defamation of character Anil boils over. He says that Mina and her family have been nothing but troubled and wants them gone.

When he goes to see them with his father, who wants them to stay, he retracts his demand for them to be gone. Though Anil does not like Mina at times, he does appreciate it when Mina says she will she save him from the lawsuit. When Anil talk to Mina about getting sued by Demetrius, she says she will take care of it by talking to Demetrius about dropping the lawsuit. He becomes really nice and tells her to keep smiling. In a sense, at that moment he does care for her happiness.

Mina, not born in India, but Uganda, has lived in Mississippi for quite some time and has become, like Anil, in a certain sense an American just without the southern accent. Anil is a phony American; he acts the part for business but remains traditional.

Mina adjusts to her new country and lives accordingly. She acts like an American teenager for the most part, seemingly angry at the world when things do not go her way.

Sometimes she does not like her cousin and he does not like her, this may be due to having dealt with the American culture differently. They have both faced different situations with different mentalities on how to deal with it.

24 Mina never seems to appreciate anything Anil does for her or her family. When she borrows his car and then crashes it, she acts like she had no fault in the incident. She even goes as far as disrespecting him, by not apologizing and calling him a “wanker”.

But from each other’s viewpoints and attitudes, this is to be expected because this is an example of the type of difficulty people have to face when they immigrate. This impacts how they demonstrate their frustrations with adjusting to a new way of life versus their wish to retain the old way of life, which can cause discord within families. The relationship between family members that are trying to be modern versus family members who would like to handle difficulties in a manner that they are used to causes tension between the two.

Mina calls Anil names and is very rude towards him. He feels that she is completely disrespecting how important her culture is and the importance of familial relationships. Unlike Anil, Mina takes the non-traditional approach and falls in love with a black man, thus shaming her family. She even goes as far as running away with him, rather than getting married. When it comes down to justifying her relationship, she uses the American status by saying it is not a crime and no one cares in America.

Unlike Anil, who finds and Indian spouse while in America. Mina does not need the same family validation as Anil when it comes to being with the person she loves, because rather than singing and taking pictures, she gets in trouble and then decides to run away with her lover. When Mina speaks with Anil to tell him where his car is, after she snuck off with it in hopes of finding Demetrius, initially he yells at her, but for the first time we hear her speaking to him in a somewhat nice tone. Mina understands that

25 everyone is on edge and worried. She knows that Anil is worried about the lawsuit because it can ruin his life and she does not want to cause further trouble.

Harry and Mina

Harry Patel is different from the rest of the Indian community that Mina is a part of because he is well off and an eligible bachelor. Many Indian mothers want to get their daughters married to him because they know he is in a good financial condition and can provide well. Harry is very proud of himself and what he has. But when he does not get his way, he seemed to become petulant. He takes Mina to the bar in order to spend time with her, but his plans fail because there are many African Americans in the bar and

Mina is much more comfortable interacting with them than Harry is. Harry is a self made man in America. He not only talks with an American accent but when he attends Anil's’ wedding he wears a suit rather than normal Indian clothing. Harry seems to be very modern in his way of thinking as well as actions. Rather than initially asking Mina’s parents for permission to take her out, he just asks Mina herself.

Mina is nice to Harry but does not completely see him as a love interest. Mina knows her parents want her to be matched with him, but she does not have any romantic feelings for him. After their night at the bar, she does not look back at him. His role basically ends there, although he was very interested in Mina, she was not into him.

Harry comes off as being fascinated by Mina because she is different than the other

Indian girls, she is spunky and is very feisty. Unlike Harry, Mina wears traditional Indian clothing as per her culture. She and Harry are on the same wavelength in terms of being modern enough to go out together and to a bar no less. We can even see from Mina’s

26 expressions when she speaks to her mother that even though Harry is the topic of

conversation, she is not really thinking about him at all.

As a potential love interest, Harry is not what Mina is looking for even though she

is friendly towards him. Harry’s idea of adjusting to American culture is different from

Mina’s. Harry is proud of his financial success; Mina is looking for the true love of her

own choice.

Alicia and Mina

Alicia is Demetrius’ ex-girlfriend, but she is the other woman because although

she and Demetrius are no longer dating, she remains connected to his family. Alicia is

very glamorous and theatrical and she likes nice things. She is the opposite of Mina, who

is natural and unassuming. When Alicia comes over for Willie Ben's birthday

(Demetrius’ father) she does it by singing to him and making her appearance seem like

she is doing everyone a favor by being there. Alicia is basically a favorite to Demetrius’

family, especially to Willie Ben. He says he will make sure that Alicia is always a part of

his family. Aunt Rose does not like Alicia. She recognizes that Alicia is only interested in

attention.

It is clear that when Alicia approaches Demetrius in front of Mina that she acts as if there is no competition between the two women. Alicia looks as though she is successful in her life in comparison to Mina. When she finds out that Mina and

Demetrius were together and got sent to jail, she lets him know that he could have had

anyone, there was no dearth of African American women in Greenwood and he disgraced

his own race by being with an Indian woman. Alicia is a modern day woman that shows

how she feels and has no trouble expressing it.

27 Initially, Demetrius used Mina in order to make Alicia jealous, but even though

Mina knew that, it did not stop her from being attracted to Demetrius. When Alicia makes her entrance at the birthday party, before Mina gets to have a conversation with her, Mina is taken away by Demetrius. Demetrius tries to show the importance of Mina as the new girl in his life. Mina is not upset by Alicia’s behavior at the party. Mina works at motels and is considered poor by her community. She seems interested in Alicia’s confident behavior.

Demetrius and Mina

Demetrius has a successful carpet cleaning business that he has worked hard to establish. Born in Mississippi he has struggled as a young black man to build up his business from the ground up. With a recommendation from his Father’s boss to the bank, he has been able to get a loan for the van that transports his carpet cleaning equipment to his customer’s motels. Most of his customers are motels owned by the Indian community.

When Demetrius first meets Mina, he is angry at her because of the accident. When he meets her again at the bar he uses her to make his ex-girlfriend jealous.

Eventually Demetrius becomes infatuated with Mina and expresses his desire to see her. Demetrius likes Mina because she is not superficial, she knows what she wants and it is not monetary. Mina is much simpler and down to earth than Alicia. She just wants a happy life filled with the ones she loves. Alicia comes off as only wanting a man with money, and she seems superficial, and thinks of herself as hot stuff. Mina and

Alicia, though different, are similar in one aspect , they both are interested in a relationship with Demetrius. His desire for Mina makes him chase after her, and

28 ultimately go away with her for a weekend. When they are caught, rather than getting mad at Mina he is angry with her family for trying to ruin his reputation and his business.

When Demetrius meets with Jay, he says he understands everything, and the only difference between both of them is the shades of their skin color. Jay does not want his daughter to be with Demetrius because he is black and does not want his daughter to be hurt by a black man. Jay is doing to Demetrius the exact same thing that was done to him in Uganda, but he does not see it. Ultimately when Demetrius and Mina reconcile, the two decide to leave their families’ racism behind and leave the state in order to start a new life together.

Mina describes herself as mixed masala. When she first meets Demetrius, she is apologetic and she says she did not mean to hit him. She is happy to see him again at the bar, and dance with him. She knew that she was being used in order to make Alicia jealous, but that did not stop her from enjoying his company just being a nice person and thanking him for the lift home. The next day, Mina calls Demetrius up to say thank you when she hears that he is not suing her for damages to his vehicle. Mina is attracted to

Demetrius but she never chases after Demetrius, rather he was the one to chase after her.

The only time Mina ever went on her own to look for Demetrius was when she went to say goodbye before realizing that she really wants to run away with him. Mina wanted him to know she wanted to be at peace with him, considering the problems that began to pop up, such as him losing business, a lawsuit in action, and the bad blood between communities. She wants him to know how she felt and what he means to her.

Even though Mina does not act traditional, her cultural traditions have been a part of her life because of her family. She may not completely understand all the struggles

29 Demetrius has gone through, but she understands that her family has gone through similar struggles as well. Though Mina is modern and has been influenced by American culture, her family does still mean a lot to her. This is apparent when she calls the motel and speaks with her parents to tell them that she has decided to leave with Demetrius.

Mina is very much like Demetrius because they are both young living in the modern society of America. They have both struggled with racism and poverty and they want better things in life. They became infatuated with one another and they get caught in their secret relationship. Their families react badly. Instead of allowing their families prejudices to ruin their lives, they take their lives into their own hands. Ultimately as adults they made the decision to run away with one another and build a life for them.

30 BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM (2002)

Jesminder “Jess” Bhamra, is the 18- year old daughter of Punjabi Sikhs, which reside in London. Jess is obsessed with football (Soccer), but unfortunately she is not permitted to play because she is a woman and her family does not want her playing the game. Jess’ mother, Mrs. Sukhi Bhamra, wants Jess to be able to cook a full Indian dinner, get a good job and marry a nice Indian boy. Although Jess’ mother does not want her to play, that does not stop Jess from doing football exercises with vegetables instead of learning how to cook. The expectations Mrs. Bhamra puts on her do not stop Jess from playing in the park along with boys including her best friend, Tony.

While jogging, Juliette “Jules” Paxton, an English girl and football player herself, sees Jess’ skill on the field in the park. Jules befriends her and suggests that she try out for the local women’s football team. Although Jess is extremely excited to tryout, Coach

Joe is skeptical about a new player joining the team. He fears that Jess is a simple wannabe, but after witnessing Jess’ skills, he is impressed by her talent and accepts her as part of the team.

Jess lies to Joe about her parents being okay with her playing football. However, her parents eventually discover that Jess has been playing behind their backs and they prohibit her from playing in any more matches. Jess’ family is concerned with wedding planning for Jess’ older sister, Pinky. Due to Jess and Jules’ abilities, their team makes it the finals of the football league tournament. Unfortunately, the finals of the tournament and Pinky’s wedding fall on the same day. Joe meets with Mr. Bhamra and asks him to

31 give Jess permission to play, but Mr. Bhamra refuses. Mr. Bhamra states that he does not want his daughter Jess, to suffer the same way he did when he was booted off a cricket team, because he was Indian.

When the team leaves for Germany, Pinky decides to help her sister by making up a story about Jess staying at a relative’s house for the weekend. Jess follows the team to

Germany. After the match, the team goes clubbing. Due to being slightly intoxicated, Joe and Jess seem to be romantically involved and they get caught almost kissing by Jules who has a crush on Joe. Jules feels betrayed by Jess and their friendship is spoiled.

After the team returns to England, Jess visits Jules at her home. Jules accuses Jess of knowing about her crush ion Joe because she had told her about it. When Jess tries to patch it up, stating she was drunk and didn’t know what she was doing, Mrs. Paxton,

Jules’ mother, overhears and misconstrues the conversation. She believes the two are in a lesbian relationship.

When the day of the final match rolls around, Joe acknowledges the fact that Jess is not allowed to play because of the weeding and the game begins without her. Halfway through the wedding, Jess’ friend Tony convinces Mr. Bhamra to let Jess play in the game. Mr. Bhamra realizes although one daughter is happy the other one is miserable. He tells Jess she can leave and go to the finals match. When Jess arrives, Joe immediately puts her in the game and she and Jules patch up and tie the score. Jess is granted a free kick. She must bend the ball around the wall of players in order to score the final point.

While she positions herself to kick the ball, the wall of players turns into her family members and she realizes her mini hallucination. Jess scores the winning goal and the team wins the tournament.

32 An American Scout offers both Jess and Jules soccer (football) scholarships to study in California. Jules tells her parents about the scholarship immediately, but Jess is afraid to do the same. In order to celebrate the good news, Jules and her mother arrive at the wedding. But upon seeing Jess, Mrs. Paxton calls her a lesbian. Jules grabs her mother and runs away ashamed.

Meanwhile, Jess has not yet spoken about the scholarship and Tony decides to lie to the entire family about wanting to marry Jess as long as she can go to any college she wants, even one in the U.S. At first the family is delighted, but not wanting to lie anymore or ruin her friendship, Jess reveals the lie. Mrs. Bhamra blames the father for allowing Jess to play in the finals match. Mr. Bhamra tells his wife, to accept Jess’ s wish because he does not want her to suffer as he did, and she reluctantly agrees. Jess runs off to the football field to tell Joe about her parent’s decision. When Joes tries to kiss her,

Jess pulls away because although her parents are allowing her to go to America, she does not think they will be able to accept her relationship with an Irishman.

The day comes for Jess and Jules to go to the airport for their flight to California.

As they are about to get on the flight, Joe arrives and tells Jess he is in love with her. The two kiss in front of Jess’ parents and agree to sort out the relationship along with her parents when she comes back. Later Jess and Jules send a photograph of the team to their parents, and it is discovered that Pinky is pregnant. At the end of the film, we see Mr.

Bhamra practicing cricket with Joe.

33 Figure 2 Bend it like Beckham Character Relationships Analyzed in Conjunction with the Protagonist

The chart above represents the character relations I will be examining within the film.

Based on the similar sets of characters within each film, I will be comparing the

relationships between the main protagonist and each supporting character. In terms of the

main protagonist, I will be focusing on the role she is dealt with as a daughter, the effects

of her parents relocating, as well as the demands she must deal with as a daughter fitting in within both the new and old cultures.

34 Sukhi and Jess

Sukhi, wife of Mohaan, comes from an older Punjabi Indian society and wants the best for her daughters. Sukhi and her family live in a close knit Punjabi community. She continues to stick closely to her cultural values as well as the societal norms fit for the

Punjabi community.

Unlike Jess, she does not pursue any type of hobby outside of the house. Sukhi is a respectable housewife, when she is not at the market or temple; she stays at home and looks after the household chores. She believes that knowing how to cook an Indian dinner, getting into a good school, and getting married is what is best for Jess. She also believes that Jess has too much freedom and does what she likes often due to the influence of Mohaan, Jess’ father.

Sukhi does not like Jess playing football, especially in the park with so many boys around. She wants Jess to redirect her focus to the more important things in life. Sukhi wants Jess to have a good life she teaches her all the things needed for when Jess is ready to get married. Such as wanting Jess to learn how to cook a full Indian dinner, both vegetarian and non-vegetarian, she wants Jess to get into a good University, and then get a good job before planning on getting married, just like Jess’ sister, Pinky. Sukhi is very traditional, but modern when it comes to allowing her daughters to wear their western clothes, have jobs, and allowing Pinky to have her own car.

Sukhi does not see the world the way Jess sees it, she does not believe that their culture allows for young Indian girls to show off their bodies when playing sports.

Knowing her daughter would rather play football with boys than learn how to act a like a proper young lady, is appalling to Sukhi. When it comes to her mindset, Sukhi is stuck in

35 her own way, and abides by the societal structure set before her. When she sees Jess in a football uniform, wearing shorts and showing off a scar on her leg to the world and playing with boys, she is ashamed of her daughter. She constantly tells Jess, that she is not a young girl anymore, and no one wants a daughter-in-law that runs around playing football all day but cannot make round chapattis.

Sukhi does not talk to Jess about being married off anytime soon, as Pinky is getting married, but she still wants her daughter to have the qualities needed to run the household. During the preparations for the wedding, Jess says she needs new shoes to go with the sari and new suits, and Sukhi is very happy about that and she tells Pinky that

“She (Jess) is finally coming into line”. During this time, Sukhi is very happy for Jess because she feels as though she is finally becoming a woman.

But when Pinky’s marriage is called off, it is revealed to Sukhi that Jess has been playing football, and she wonders what she did to deserve two deceiving daughters.

When Joe comes to visit the family, Sukhi takes an immediate dislike to him and everything he has to say. As far as she is concerned, the moment after finding out that

Jess ran off to play a match in Germany, football is banned. She is extremely angry at

Jess for lying to her, and wants her to have nothing to do with the sport any longer. After banning Jess from playing, Sukhi makes sure Jess learnt more about cooking and helping out around the home.

Sukhi is unhappy because as parents, shw and Mohaan, have done so much and given their daughters what they asked for, yet it is not enough. When Pinky’s marriage is finalized again, Sukhi seems to forget about Jess and football to focus on the wedding. But, when Sukhi finds out that Jess went to play in the finals match during her

36 sister’s wedding, she is livid. As much as she loves her daughter, it is as though Sukhi is only disappointed with Jess. Sukhi does not make much of an attempt to learn more and take a positive interest in what her children are interested in. When it comes to Jess,

Sukhi poses restrictions on Jess, because she believes as a girl she should not be outside too late in the evening. Sukhi wants Jess to be more grounded and down to Earth and spend more time learning how to take care of the home.

After the whole wedding football match ordeal and after hearing from Jess about her desire to go abroad and play, with the support of her father, Sukhi finally agrees to let

Jess go abroad. At the airport, Sukhi tells Jess to call her uncle when she arrives in the

U.S., this sets her at ease knowing some family is nearby.

Jess is not currently interested in getting married or going to University, but rather her mind his focused solely on playing football. Jess gets along with everyone she meets; she even makes friends with a gora, an English girl. When it comes to Jess, the one thing she likes more than Beckham, the famous British footballer, is football itself.

Unlike her mother, Jess likes to be outside playing football with the guys and to her mother’s dismay she does not care about how dark she has gotten because of it. In order to play football, she tells her parents that she has a summer job. This lie serves two purposes, the first being that she can go out and play on the football team, and the second being that she will not have to stay at home with her mother to help out with all the preparations for the wedding and learn how to manage the household and cooking.

Unlike her mother, Jess does not want to stay at home, or even think about getting married. Though she grew up in a completely traditional culture at home, she wears western clothing at home, and is completely in the modern world mindset of women

37 being able to do the same things as men. She believes it is not fair that boys do not have to leave what they are doing to come home early, just to help out around the house. She finds it unfair that the boys get to do what they want. Though Jess has certain freedoms, she knows that she is not completely free to do as she please all the time. When Jess talks to her parents about playing football on a girl’s team, her mother completely shuts the idea down. Jess wishes that her parents would see her for what she really is, a footballer.

When it is time to get fitted for the new suits that she will be wearing at her sister’s wedding, Jess tells her mother that she needs new shoes, and she will need money for a second pair. Though to her mother it seems as though Jess is becoming a woman,

Jess said it with the intention of not getting girly shoes for the wedding, but getting something passable and getting her desired football shoes. Because Jess is young, and her sister is getting married, there is no rush to find a suitor for Jess to get married, yet.

When Jess finally tells her mother about playing in the football match during her sister’s wedding, she says she felt happy because she was no longer lying to both her parents (as she received her father’s permission). She wants her parents and especially her mother to know that she is happy when she plays football and she has the opportunity of a lifetime to play at a University in the states. She tells them (mainly her mother), that if she does not tell them what she wants now then she will never be able to tell them what she wants. Even after saying all this, Jess does not mention anything about her love for

Joe, because she knows that letting her go is a tremendously big step for her parents and they would not be able to handle knowing that Jess is in love with a gora. It is very clear to see that Jess and her mother, Sukhi, are completely different when it comes to mindsets, interests, and expectations.

38 Mohaan and Jess

Mohaan, husband of Sukhi, grew up in India and has a strong connection to playing sports. He used to play cricket, but after coming to England, all his achievements meant nothing to the goras (White People) except for the color of his skin and the turban he wore. Because of the humiliation that he suffered, after being thrown out of the cricket club, Mohaan vowed he would never play cricket again. He has always stood firmly by his stance of not allowing Jess to aim for a career playing football, because he does not want her to get hurt like he did. His strong attachments to cricket and the experiences he went through are why he does not want Jess to suffer the same fate.

Although Mohaan, does not seem to have any problems with anyone of a different race considering that he works at Heathrow Airport, that may not be the case. It seems that he has a distrust for goras, especially the ones associated with sports. Mohaan had a dream that was crushed and when it comes to his daughters, he does not want them to feel as though they cannot excel in whatever they put their mind to, with the exception of sports. As his eldest is getting married, his mind is occupied with getting ready for

Pinky’s wedding, but that does not mean he is not concerned with Jess. Now that she is done with her exams, he is hoping that she will have the grades needed in order to get into University, and continue her education.

When Mohaan finds out that Jess was actually in Germany playing football, instead of her cousin’s home, he is disappointed, because she lied to the family. While his children were growing up, he tried to give them whatever they wanted, and after finding out the truth about Jess, he was downcast, but he still trusted her. Throughout the whole film, Mohaan is the one to notice, with the exception of Pinky’s prior knowledge, that

39 Jess has been playing football. He even goes to a match to see her in action. When he thought Jess was sick, he realizes she is not home and goes to the football field. Mohaan is proud of his daughter during the match, until he sees her in the arms of Joe. His trust is officially broken and he punishes Jess, by not talking to her. When Joe visits, the night before the wedding, Mohaan tells Jess that she must not play with her future.

However, when Mohaan realizes that Jess is not truly happy on her sister’s joyous wedding day he decides to allow her to leave her sister’s wedding in order to play in her final match. He is happy because when Jess comes back after making the winning kick, she was truly finally happy. Mohaan is the one to support Jess when she announces to her family that she will receive a scholarship to play football in America. He tells the family about what happened to him and he says that he does not want Jess to suffer the way he did, by giving up on the sport that is so dear to her. He wants Jess to fight and win, and no one has the right to stop her. He says, “Two daughters made happy on one day, what else can a father ask for?” and he hugs Jess solidifying the decision he made.

Jess, like her father has a love for sports, but unlike her father she does not want to give up on it and wants to become more than a park player. When Jess is presented with the opportunity to play for the Hounslow Harriers, she does not tell her parents until she gets caught. When she tells both her mom and dad, they do not want to listen as she spends most of her time playing football. But just when her dad almost intervenes to side with her, he is stopped by his wife and sees reasoning as to why Jess should not play.

Instead of getting the support from her father, Jess is told that “It’s not nice, you must start behaving like a proper women. ”

40 Afterwards Jess contemplates everything and does not see how it is fair when all she wants to do is play football and not sneak off with boys to make out. But when she pretends to have a summer job, she continues to lie to her parents about the reality of the situation. Although Jess feels guilty about lying, she does not try to tell anyone the truth besides her sister and Tony. But when the truth is out, she is stopped from showing up to practice. Though she pleads to her parents and gives them examples and tells them how the times have changed, she is still not allowed to play. When she sneaks away to play in

Germany she gets caught by her parents and she may no longer attends practice. Despite the guilty feeling she has, Jess sneaks off one more time to play in a match, and after it ends, she winds up in the arms of Joe. She does not know that her father is watching.

After that match, Jess is extremely upset, because her father has stopped talking to her.

The night before the wedding, when Joe comes to visit, her father tells her to not play with her future. On the day of her sister’s wedding, obviously unhappy, Jess knows the game is going on and that leaves her unsettled. Jess thinks about the game but does not want to leave the wedding lest she disappoint her parents again. When Jess’ father finally lets her go, Jess is truly excited and goes off to play and successfully win the match. When she comes back to the wedding, Jess is over the moon with happiness. She is smiling and laughing as she dances with her father. When Jess decides to tell her family the truth about the day, she is truly happy because she is not lying. She tells the family about her match opportunity to study and play abroad. At first she is met with disapproval from her mother, but Jess’ father steps in and supports her. He wants her to succeed in what she is fighting for; doing the thing that she truly loves. Jess is overjoyed

41 and cries tears of happiness, because when she leaves to go abroad it is with the approval of her family.

Jess and her father, Mohaan, are very similar because they both have a love for sports, and they face struggles that lead them down different paths of life. They understand the social restrictions that are set in front of them, but they each decide to tackle it the way they think is best and in the end stay with what they truly enjoy.

Pinky and Jess

Pinky, Jess’ older sister is very different from Jess. Although both Pinky and Jess grew up in the same Punjabi household, they both like very different things. When Pinky was the same age as Jess, she would wear make up and sneak out to meet up with her now fiancé, Teetu. Pinky believes that having a traditional Indian marriage, and marrying the person you love is all anyone can ask for. Although Pinky is getting married in a traditional manner, she is still modern when it comes to fashion, makeup, and even having a job.

When Pinky finds out Jess is lying about having a job, she is relieved because she thought Jess was meeting a boy, but when she learns that was not the case she is quickly disappointed. She believes that Jess playing football is not important enough for her to lie and pretend to have a job, but rather if she was with a boy it would be understandable.

Pinky is willing to keep the secret because Jess mentions keeping Pinky’s secret safe, that

Pinky and Teetu used to and still sneak out without her parent’s knowledge to be with each other.

But when Pinky’s marriage is called off because Jess is seen with a boy (in reality it is Jules), everyone is upset. The marriage between Pinky and Teetu was called off

42 because Teetu’s parents believed that they saw Jess kissing a boy out in the open, having no shame for herself, her family, or their reputation. Teetu’s mother says that the children are a map of their own parents and what she basically means is if she can openly shame her parents, then she might bring them shame as well. If Jess if frivolous then that must mean Pinky and their whole family might be also.

Due to this, Pinky reveals the truth about Jess playing football (soccer); even going as far as saying that her life has been ruined and it is all Jess’ fault. But even though she said that, Pinky still helps Jess sneak away so that she could go to Germany for her football match. When they get caught in their lie because of Jess’ photo in the newspaper, the sisters spend their time together consoling each other. When they are together, Jess asks her sister how she knows that she picked the right person, and her sister tells her what it means to be in love. When Jess questions bringing a gora home,

Pinky realizes that that Jess fancies her gora coach, Joe.

Although Pinky does not agree with it, she does not stop her sister from continuing football. Pinky tries to keep their parents at temple so Jess can play in a match. When Jess gets home, Pinky reveals that Teetu’s parents are there because they want to fix the alliance again and have them get married. Pinky makes her mother proud and everyone celebrates her marriage in the traditional manner, from the engagement up until the actual wedding. They have the engagement party (at the beginning of the film), then a cooking night, a celebration the night before the wedding, singing, dancing, and pictures at the wedding; everything done for the wedding is held as traditional as possible. In their culture, the entire family and friends are brought together in order to complete certain rituals and take part in them in order to bless the happy couple. By

43 holding these celebrations and rituals they are protecting their culture and also passing it on to the younger generations.

Every part signifies something, the engagement is the beginning of the bond between two families, and the cooking night is when they prepare the food needed for the night before the wedding as well as the actual day of the wedding. They having singing and dancing to celebrate, they sing wedding songs and dance to liven up the occasion, they take pictures in order to preserve the memories spent with each other. Although it may seem like average wedding customs, they hold a special significance for the Indian culture. Such as putting turmeric on the bride in order to enhance her beauty so that she glows on her wedding day, and putting bangles on the bride, which a married woman should always wear. Each custom holds its own importance.

When Jess is being accused of being a lesbian and kissing Jules by Mrs. Paxton,

Pinky quickly ends the accuation by Mrs. Paxton, by telling her that “Do you mind, ya?

But this just happens to be my wedding!” After that she pulls Jess into the car in order to sort out the matter. Pinky does not understand why Mrs. Paxton would say Jess is a

“lesbo” when she knows that Jess fancies her coach, Joe. Then she asks Jess, “Don’t you want all this?” It is clear that Pinky feels that the traditionof getting married as an Indian bride is the most important thing in life.

But when Jess tells her that she wants more than this, though she supports Jess,

Pinky tells her the reality of the situation is that without getting married first she will not be allowed to go abroad. It is clear that Pinky does want Jess to be happy no matter the situation. Towards the end of the film, we see that Pinky looks at a picture of Jess and

44 smiles, clearly expressing her own happiness as she rubs her pregnant belly and her

happiness for her sister.

Unlike Pinky, Jess wants more than just to get married. Growing up in the same

family, as Pinky would make it seem as though they have similar interests, but they are

complete opposites. Pinky is a girly girl, whereas Jess is a footballer. When her mother

catches Jess, she does not think that it is fair that because Pinky is getting married, she

has to stop playing football. But even so, Jess loves her sister and wants the best for her.

When Jess is blamed for Pinky’s marriage alliance being broken, she defends

herself telling the truth of the matter, that she was not with any boy, but rather she was

with her friend Jules. Even though Jess was mad at Pinky for telling her parents the truth

about her playing football, when she is depressed about her alliance breaking apart, Jess still consoles Pinky. Jess is grateful to her sister, for always helping her get to her matches, and covering for her when she needs to play.

But unlike Pinky, Jess does not believe that all she wants in life is just marriage, she wants to play football and go far with it. Jess differs from Pinky when it comes to falling in love, unlike her sister Pinky, Jess falls in love with her gora (White) coach, Joe.

Although no one knows about her feelings for Joe besides Pinky and Tony, Jess knows she cannot tell anyone. When she talks to Pinky about possibly marrying a gora, her sister knows instantly who Jess is talking about. But Jess tells her sister that Joe is not an

English bloke, but rather he is Irish.

Jess believes that because he is not technically English he understand the struggles of being different. When Joe explained to Jess, what it is like growing up Irish in England, she felt like he understood her situation of not fitting in. Jess believes that

45 because he is technically not English it would be okay since marrying a white English man would be frowned upon. Pinky states that there is no difference between white people, because we (Indians) are all considered the same to them. What she means is that

Indians, Pakistanis, Arabs, are all grouped together.

During the wedding Jess is happy for her sister, but she cannot possibly tell her that the final match is the day of the wedding. When Mrs. Paxton arrives, Jess is stunned by Mrs. Paxton saying that Jess is a lesbian and Pinky pulls her into the car. It is then that

Pinky wants to know if Jess does not want the traditional Indian marriage that so many dream of. When Jess tells Pinky about going to America to play football, Pinky wants to know why football. Jess knows that football is what she wants more than anything and she says that she wants more than just this, gesturing to marriage.

Although Jess says this, Pinky tells her that unless she gets married she will not be able to go to America. Unlike her sister, who found an Indian boy to get married to, when

Jess final comes to terms with her parents, her dreams, and her relationship, she does not have the same celebration as she is leaving for America, and her parents do not know about her feelings towards Joe. Though Pinky and Jess are different, they care for each other very much and try to help each other as they can.

Tony and Jess

Tony, is Jess’ best friend and as well as a fellow Punjabi in their small community. Tony gets along extremely well with Jess, they are the best of mates, and many people around them believe that the two are romantically involved. Tony’s football friends think that Jess is Tony’s girlfriend. Whenever he sees Jess, Tony does not hesitate to go and talk to her especially because they are so close. Tony’s mother even tellsPinky

46 that she wishes she could find a girl like her for her son, since Pinky is getting married,

Jess would be the next best person. Tony is very modest and supports Jess in everything she does; he is always encouraging her.

Tony gets along well with the surrounding communities as we can see when he and his fellow mates are playing a round of football. As Tony comes from the same

Punjabi community as Jess does, their families are very close to one another. They've grown up with each other and they have become the best of friends. They not only tell each other their secrets but they support each other in their dreams as well. Because of this, if they were to someday get married, they would face no opposition.

When Jess comes to the park after being selected for the football (soccer) team, the first person she tells is Tony. Tony is very excited about Jess being able to join the team. After being told to quit the football team, Jess goes to Tony in order to talk about her problems, and he tells her that she does not have to tell her parents the truth. He does not think there is anything wrong about her sneaking out to play football, when people their age are sneaking out to be with boyfriends. He even brings up the fact that Pinky used to sneak out with Teetu and now they are getting married.

After the Germany match, Jess tells Tony that they should start dating, and he reveals that though is he mad (crazy) about her, he does not want to marry her. Jess reveals what happened to her and her coach, and Tony says that it is okay. He understand why she thinks she needs to start dating. Tony is a gay Punjabi/Indian Sikh man, and the only person he has ever spoken to about this matter is Jess. When he reveals this to Jess, she tells him that it is okay by her if he is gay.

47 On the day of the wedding Tony offers to get Jess to the football so that she can play, and he tell this to Jess’ father. When given permission, he drives her to the match and back. When Jess decides to tell the truth about everything, Tony takes things into his own hands. Tony tells everyone that because he and Jess have been good friends for such a long time that they will marry each other on the condition she can go to school in the

U.S. if she wants. When Tony offers to marry Jess, the truth is that he wants her to fulfill her desires and able to play football in America. He is willing to “give himself up” to make sure that she can have the life that she wants. He cares for her a lot, and even sees her off at the airport, happy that she is about to accomplish her dreams.

Jess is Tony’s best friend and they have a close knit friendship. When Jess and her sister, Pinky, go out shopping and they come across Tony and his mother, despite Pinky making a move to leave, Jess talks to Tony about an assignment that they were doing, but they really talk about possibly go to the park for a game. When Jess goes to play football in the park she always meets up with Tony and his friends in order to play a few rounds.

After Pinky’s engagement, Jess is playing with Tony and gang, with a few onlookers. When Tony’s friends tell him to call Jess, they address her as Tony’s girlfriend. And when Jess is talking to the girls that she knows (family friends or relatives), they tell her that lover boy, Tony, is calling her. Jess tells the girls clearly that they are just mates and she is not a slag (promiscuous woman) like them.

From the start, everyone around Jess believes that Tony and Jess will end up together because they are very close despite the two stating that they are only friends.

When Jules expresses and interest in Jess having a trial for the women’s football team,

Tony is extremely happy for Jess. When Jess shows up to see Tony, he is impressed by

48 her uniform and compliments her by saying she looks like a pro. It is then that the guys make fun of Jess’ burn. Jess received the burn scar as a young child; Jess narrates the story to Joe earlier in the day.

Jess states that when her mother was working overtime at Heathrow airport, she

(Jess) was trying to make beans on toast. When she jumped up to the grill to get the toast, her pants caught a fire and her sister quickly tried to help her. Jess said that her sister,

Pinky, put her in a tub of water and as she tried to take the pants off, the skin came off with it. So when the guys are making fun of Jess, Tony tells them off and defends her.

Jess asks whether they have ever seen a burn or not and that even with it, she can still beat them at football.

Soon after, when Jess tells Tony about her parents not letting her play football any more she is crying. She says that she never bunked off school like her sister, she does not wear makeup or tight clothes, but her parents do not see all of that. Tony tells her that

“parents never see the good things” and then he tells her “why don’t you just play and not tell them?” Tony tells Jess that “what your parents dont know wont hurt” but Jess feels that she is not doing anything wrong so why should she have to lie to her parents.

When Jules thinks Tony is Jess’ boyfriend both Jess and Tony are quick to clear the confusion. After coming back from Germany, Jess goes to meet up with Tony in the park. When Jess asks Tony if he fancies her, he says yes. But when Jess tells Tony maybe they should start dating, Tony wants to know what is going on. All Jess says is that she thinks that she needs an Indian boyfriend, and seeing as they are already good friends it should be an easy match. When Tony asks Jess about what is really going on she tells him what happened in Germany with Joe and Jules.

49 After Tony tells Jess that you do not plan for who you fall for and that it just happens, she is more at ease. Tony is extremely understanding of Jess’ situation, because even though she and Tony are great friends, she is not in love with him and their relationship will end up staying the same when Tony reveals to Jess that he is gay. Jess tells Tony that her sister believes that Tony is mad about her (Jess) and in return Tony says he is but does not want to marry her. Jess questions Tony on what the guys would say if they knew he was gay, and Tony gets worried, but Jess says that it’s okay, and it’s okay by her. In return Tony says that Jess fancying her gora coach is okay by him.

During Jess’ next match, when she fakes being sick, to her parents, Tony and the guys are all in the standing watching and rooting for her. But Tony feels especially bad for Jess when another player pulls her down.

At the wedding, when Tony is trying to convince Jess to go to the football match,

Jess feels guilty and does not want to leave her sister’s wedding because she does not want to upset her parents. But when she finally gets the okay, Tony happily takes her to the match and then brings her back. But when Jess finds out that she has been offered a scholarship, she tells Tony because she is unsure of what to do. That is when Tony offers to marry Jess and tells the family. But then Jess tells Tony and the entire family that she does not want to lie anymore and that Tony is only offering to marry her in order to help her. But she does not want Tony to lie for her or lie to the family. The relationship between Jess and Tony is one of great friendship because they stand by each other and are willing to listen to the woes of one another. Though everyone expected them to get married, they remain the best of friends, rooting each other on for their own love lives and journeys.

50 Jules and Jess

Juliette goes by the shortened version of her name, Jules. She is Jess’ friend, teammate, and rival in love. Jules is considered the other woman for this purpose. Jules came across to watch when she first saw Jess playing football in the park, from then on she would often watch Jess play. Jules invites Jess to have a try out so that she can play for the Hounslow Harriers, even though it was closed season, Jules believes that Jess has talent. The two instantly connect and become great friends. When Jules brings Jess to the football field, she persuades Joe to give Jess a chance. Jules tells Jess that she would like to play football as a profession, but though she cannot do it in the UK she can do it in

America. At the next practice, Jules introduces Jess to the rest of the team. When Jess tells Jules that her parents do not want her to play anymore, Jules tells her that her mom has never wanted her to play and “you just can’t take no for an answer”. Jules encourages

Jess to lie and tell her parents that she has a summer job so that she can go to practice.

During this time, Jules and Jess build a close and strong friendship. When Jess gets fitted for a sari, she and Jules decide to go shopping. Jules and Jess meet up by the station so they can shop for shoes, and hang out with each other. Jules takes Jess to a pub/bar, so that they can relax before looking at the shoes. But a misunderstanding is created when Jess goes home, because she was out so late and her parents smelt cigarette on her coat due to a man smoking next to her. When Jess’ parents get mad at her, Jules invites Jess to come over to her house so that she can borrow some shoes to wear to her

Pinky’s wedding. Jules lends Jess her mother’s favorite pair of shoes, and tells Jess that her mother loves them so much she stuck the bows on herself.

51 Jules shows Jess a sports channel focused on the Women’s United Soccer

Association in the US. She then tells Jess to hide the shoes and introduces her mother to

Jess. After they leaves Jules’ house, the two are standing very close to each other with their arms on each other’s shoulder, laughing by the bus stop, and making fun of Mrs.

Paxton. Jules is questioned by Jess whether or not she likes Joe, and in response Jules says she does not but wishes she could find someone just like him. When Jess says she wishes to find a nice Indian boy similar to Joe, Jules laughs at the idea.

At training when Joe asks Jules where Jess is, she tells him that maybe her parents found out that she was playing football. Jules says that she had been telling Jess to tell the truth, but Jess would not listen to her. When Jess comes to Germany, Jules is really happy that she gets to play with Jess. And when the team loses and the opposing team decides to take them out, Jules helps Jess get ready for the club. At the club, Jules gets jealous when

Joe pays more attention to Jess than her.

When Jules sees Jess “kissing” Joe she curses at Jess and storms off. The two do not speak to each other, and when Jess comes to talk to Jules she blows her off. Jules says that Jess knew how she felt about Joe and that she was betrayed by Jess. Jules tells Jess that she “doesn’t understand the meaning of love”. When the two are on the field for a match, even though they cooperate they are still at odds with one another. They do not speak to each other again until Jules comes looking for Jess after hearing about the situation from Joe about Jess getting caught by her dad and not being allowed to play anymore.

When Jules goes to the bar to talk to Joe, the first thing she mentions is Germany and that she does not want to talk about it. Then she proceeds to yell at Joe because she

52 feels that he does not want anyone to succeed just because he could not. Due to Joe playing while injured he messed up his knee to the point that he would be unable to play the sport professionally. After two surgeries and years of regret and resentment toward his father, for pushing him to play while injured, Joe is still unable to play in a match.

When Joe tells Jules that the scout is coming to see her in the final match, she immediately feels guilty and this new information leads Jules to meet up with Jess. When

Jules visits she sees Jess’ room decorated with pictures of Beckham and other football players.

After hearing that Pinky’s wedding is the same day as the final match, Jules tries to see if Jess can get away for a bit. But when Jules instigates Jess by saying “If you give up football now, what are you gonna have to give up next?” Jess gets mad and says she only needs her in case the scout is there. Jules gets mad and says that she was only there because Joe was worried. They do not see each other again until the actual match, when

Jess is able to sneak away from the wedding. On the field the two work with each other as though they were never made at the other.

Everyone including Jules helps Jess back into her sari. Jules then decides to celebrate the win and getting a free scholarship to Santa Clara with Jess at her sister’s wedding. She hugs Jess upon arrival only to leave in a tiff with her mother. When her mother accused Jess of being a lesbian like her daughter, Jules explains that she is not a lesbian. After explaining the situation about the how the two of them both fancied their coach Joe, Mrs. Paxton settles down. Jules is then seen with her family at the airport along with Jess and her family as the two are about to board the plane. When Joe comes by, Jules tells him goodbye just as friends and does not harbor any jealous feelings.

53 Jesminder, like Jules also goes by the shortened version of her name, Jess. When

Jess meets Jules for the first time she is happy to know that another female appreciates her football skills enough to invite her to come and have a trial with the football (soccer) team. Jess and Jules instantly hit it off and become close friends, Jess feels very welcomed by Jules and the team when she plays with them and is allowed to join the team. The very next day, Jess is talking to Tony about how her parents do not want her playing football anymore, and just then Jules calls out to Jess. Quickly wiping away her tears, Jess makes the introductions between Jules and Tony and then tells Jules about her situation. Jess takes Jules’ advice about saying that she has a summer job and instead of going to work she goes to the football field. And when Jules asks if Tony is Jess’ boyfriend, Jess reacts by trying to say “he is not my boyfriend,” but Tony beats her to it.

When coming back from practice one day, Jess gets home only for her mother to ask why her sister did not pick her up from work, but luckily her sister covers for her, only for

Pinky to ask Jess about why she was lying about having a job. Pinky assumed it was a boy and was disappointed by the truth.

After getting fitted for a sari, Jess says she needs to get new shoes, and so the next day she and Juliet go shopping, but what they get instead of heels are football shoes (aka boots) and loafers. When Jules indicates that she wants to go in a bar, despite Jess pulling away because she does not want to go in, she is still taken inside by Jules. Unfortunately, the seat that Jess sits in has a smoker next to her and he blows his smoke onto her jacket, so when she goes home her parents get mad at her because they think she had been smoking. When Jess defends herself by saying she was with a friend and they went to a bar just to use the loo, she has to do a breath test by her dad. It is then that Pinky pulls out

54 the football boots and Jess’ mother gets really mad because instead of the heels she got football shoes, even when she is not supposed to be playing. Because of this, Jess has to wash all the big pots and pans and she now she needs good and proper shoes for the wedding.

The next day, as punishment for chatting while training, Jess is the only one that has to run laps. After training, Jess goes to Jules’ house and borrows a pair of Mrs.

Paxton’s shoes. When Mrs. Paxton comes home she hides the shoes, and Mrs. Paxton talks to Jess about being matched up with a doctor. So when introduced as a footballer like Jules, Mrs. Paxton is a bit shocked. After they leaves Jules’ house, the two are at the bus stop laughing and standing very close to each other with their arms on each other’s shoulder. Jess asks Jules if she likes Joe, and Jules says no but she would like to meet a guy just like him and Jess says she would like to marry an Indian guy just like him.

When Jess gets home she sees Teetu’s parents and a tense atmosphere. Pinky yells at Jess saying she ruined her wedding and it is then that Jess finds out that Teetu’s parents saw her and Jules and believed that Jess was kissing a boy, and this leads to Teetu’s parents telling Jess’ parents. Due to this event, Pinky’s marriage alliance breaks. Teetu’s parents believed that the manner in which Jess acted was shameless and humiliating and they do not want to have any relation with a girl who has a shameless family. If they associated with the family then it might lead to their own humiliation. At first, Jess’ parents blame her, but when Jess says that she was with her friend Juliette, a girl, her parents calm down and believe it to be a mistake on Teetu’s parents end.

However, because of this Pinky tells their parents the truth about Jess not having a job and Jess’ parents find out about Jess playing football. Meanwhile Joe is worried

55 because Jess has not shown up for practice and he questions Jules on why Jess is not coming. When Joe goes to Jess’ house he tells her about the game in Germany. Jess, then with the help of her sister, sneaks off to Germany and plays with the team. The Harriers lose the match, but the winning team invites them to go clubbing. Jess does not have clothes to go to a club and so Jules with the help of another friend to dress Jess up. While in an intoxicated state, Jess almost kisses Joe and Jules sees this and swears at Jess. Their friendship is on the rocks and when they return home they are not on speaking terms. Jess tries to apologize to Jules, but is told that she betrayed her and that she knew how Jules felt about Joe. Jess says she did not know what she was doing and does not want Jules to be in a strop. Jess leaves and talks to Tony about the matter, so that she can share her feelings with someone. The next day, with the help of Pinky, Jess lies about being sick and goes to play in a match, and though they cooperate on the field there is tension between her and Jules. After the match is over, while in Joe’s arms, her dad catches Jess.

The reason Jess was in Joe’s arms was because he was trying to comfort her.

When Jess faced racial discrimination on the field by a player on the opposing team, she got upset and she was angry and sad that Joe yelled at her for “going too far,” when she felt like she did nothing wrong. Jess’ father sees her in Joe’s arms because he went looking for Jess, as she was not sick in bed. Originally, when he saw Jess playing in the match he felt proud. When the match was over, he was looking for her so that he could come to get her and take her home. It was then that he saw Joe with his arms around

Jess.

The next day, Jules comes over to Jess’ house and at that moment they are on talking terms again. When Jules tells Jess about the final and that Joe was worried she

56 won’t be allowed to play, Jess is really upset because now her dad will not speak to her.

Jess tells Jules she cannot make the final because it is on the same day as her sister’s wedding. When Jules asks her to get away for a bit from the wedding, Jess is upset because she really wants to go but cannot leave her sister’s wedding. She gets mad at

Jules and Jules storms away. They see each other again at the final, and when they meet up again, it is as if the two were never in a fight at all. They win the match and both are happy as they meet the scout and are offered scholarships.

Jules comes to see Jess at her sister’s wedding to celebrate, about their scholarships. That evening, Jess musters up the courage to tell her family the truth about football, her feelings, and her happiness. Both Jess and Jules are on happy terms at the airport. They are both ready to go to Santa Clara in America, and both are seen happy in their new team photos.

Joe and Jess

Joe is not only Jess’ love interest, but he is also her football coach. Because Joe is

Irish, he understands what it feels like to be discriminated against. As a former footballer and being the son of a football coach, he understands the best ways to train his players.

When Joe first meets Jess, he thinks that she is just a wannabe football player who does not take the sport seriously, because she has only ever played in the park. When he sees her play, Joe changes his mind about Jess because he sees a lot of talent. Joe tells her she better come back, giving the indication that she can be on the team. The next time they meet, Joe gives Jess a pair of boots (football shoes) and a kit (football uniform).

When Joe does not see her on the field in her gear but in the stands he goes to find out the reason. He asks Jess what’s going on and he realizes that she tries to hide her

57 burned and scarred leg. Joe tells Jess that her scar is a stunner and he asks her what happened. He tells Jess that when she is out on the field no one is going to care or notice.

He then shows her his scar, in order to create a sense of connection. Joe helps her by showing she is not alone, as he too had a scar from his own injuries, but unlike Jess his scar affected his ability to play.

When Jess finally tells him what happened, they share a small laugh and then Joe says that his injury stopped him from playing but hers does not. After that, Jess feels encouraged and gets on the field. After that Jess had no problem playing on the field.

But when Jess and Jules were talking to each other during team exercises, Joe sends her to run 5 laps around the field. When training is over Joe runs over to Jess and tells her she does not have to run anymore. When he finds out she twisted her foot, he sits on the field with her and takes off her shoe in order to massage her foot. While he is doing that he tells Jess that training when you are injured is not good and that is how he messed up his knee. He played while he was injured, and he blames his dad because he did not want to be seen as weak and his dad kept pushing him. As Joe and Jess talk about it, their connection gets closer as Jess realizes how much Joe dislikes his father. She believes that he should not hate his father because he is still family.

When Jess does not show up for practice and Joe finds out that Jess’ parents did not know that she was playing on the football team, Joe goes to Jess’ house in order to apologize and let them know about Jess’ talent. When he arrives, everyone stares at him and the atmosphere is very uncomfortable. The first thing he is does is apologize, and then he explains that he believes Jess has amazing potential.

58 Mr. Bhamra however, does not appreciate this and tells Joes his own tale of his

athletic hopes being crushed. Mr. Bhamra tells him about how he was kicked off of the

cricket team because of his turban and then proceeds to acknowledge the issue of not

having any Indian boys in the football leagues. He tells Joe that if they do not have our

boys then what are the chances of allowing our girls to pay. He tells Joe that he knows his

daughter’s potential better, and does not want to see her get hurt. As Joe leaves, he tells

Jess that he understands what she is up against, but that parents do not always know what

is best for you.

While in Germany, the entire team goes to a club, and when Jess arrives wearing

a dress and makeup, Joe stares at her and is stunned. He takes a moment to compose

himself before suggesting they take a taxi. While at the club, Jess has been drinking, and

after Jules insistence, Joe dances with Jules. While on the dance floor, he pulls Jess into

the dance until she leaves. Worried he follows her leaving Jules on the dance floor. Joe

helps Jess from falling over and after talking the two almost kiss each other until Jules

sees them and yells at them. Flustered they back away from each other.

When they get back home from Germany, Jess and Joe tell each other that they

have forgotten about the matter, and she wants to know why her parents are so scared to let her play. Joe asks Jess “Whose life are you living anyway?” and then he says that if she tries to please her parents forever she will end up blaming them. Just then Jess says

“What like you?” because Joe blames his Dad for what happened to him. Joe believes

that if his dad knew he was coaching girls that he would “piss himself.” Joe wants to

know why Jess is giving up when she says that he should be proud of what he has done

for all the girls and they should just focus on the team and the matches.

59 After their next match, the team loses and Joe reprimands Jess for her behavior on the field. When Jess defends herself to him outside of the changing room, she starts crying because she was upset that she had been called a Paki but he would not understand how that feels. Joe takes her in his arms and tells her that he does understand because he is Irish. The two hug until being caught by Mr. Bhamra. After this the two do not see each other again until the day before the final match, which is the same day as Jess’ sister’s wedding. Joe comes to Jess’ house on the evening before the wedding/match. He sees a lot of people in her house as he peeks in from the outside, only for Mr. Bhamra to come outside to see what he wants.

Joe tells Mr. Bhamra about the match and that Jess should not let her talent go to waste and then he leaves. Jess yells wait, and Joe gives a slight smile, as she runs up to apologize about not playing in the match; Joe tell her that Jules still has a shot at getting recruited with the scout coming to the final match. He also tells Jess that he asked the scout to come for her as well. When Jess questions why Joe always makes her second- guess her decisions, he tells her that he does not want to give up on her. Then Joe, whilst looking towards Jess’ house asks if Jess is promised to anyone, in response she says no.

But just when Jess is about to say something, Joe says he does not fancy getting busted by her father again, and then requests that she come and visit sometime. He leaves and

Jess goes back to her house.

The next day, as the final match goes on, Jess is able to get permission from her father and meets up with Joe at the match. After the team wins, Joe introduces Jess and

Jules to the scout. When Jess leaves to go back to the wedding, at the end of the night she tells her family the truth about her desire to play football. When Jess tells Joe that her

60 family is allowing her to go to the U.S. they are overwhelmed by joy. The two hug each other and Joe is about to kiss Jess only to be rejected. Joe’s initial reaction is that he wants to know if her dad is around, because he does not want to get busted. But Jess says that it would be too much for her family to know about Joe as well. Joe says that it’s all right and that it does not make sense anyway as she will be leaving for America soon.

Disappointed by the outcome the two hug letting their feelings envelop each other.

The next time they see each other is when Joe shows up at the airport to tell Jess the good news about him receiving the job he was offered. Joe had been offered the chance to coach the men’s team, after the season ends with girls he would no longer need to work in the bar. But even though got the chance to instead coach the men’s side, he tells Jess that he turned it down so that he could continue to work with the girls and turn pro next year. She says that his dad would be so happy, and Joe says that he told his dad about it. Joe states earlier on in the film that he has a bad relationship with his father because his father was also his football coach. Joe’s father was always tough on Joe and

Joe blames him for the injury that he got in a match and up until recently Joe completely blamed his screwed up knee on his father. But Joe has finally reached out to his father after years of not talking to one another, so that he could tell him about this new opportunity. Joe then tells Jess that he could not let her go without knowing that even with the distance and the concerns of her family that maybe there could still be something, just then the two of them kiss. As David Beckham passes by on the overhead walkway with his wife, the ideal couple in Jess’ book, Jules takes it as a sign, and Jess and Joe smile then they kiss again before parting ways. At the end of the film, Joe is learning how to play cricket with Mr. Bhamra and Teetu.

61 Jess is similar to Joe because they are both young, living in the modern day UK, they have a strong connection in the sense that they understand what discrimination feels like, what having a scar reminds them of, and their love of football. At first the interest that had in each other was just that of a good coach and good footballer, but bit by bit their feelings developed with Joe showing concern for his player to the point of visiting her house. Things heated up in Germany, when the two almost kissed, and when Jess’ parents agreed to her going to America, they almost kissed again but did not as Jess would not be able to tell her family. But when they were at the airport, they confirmed their feelings with a kiss and promised to tackle Jess’ parents when she comes back. Jess now has a better relationship with her family and so does Joe with his dad because he told him about his achievements. As adults they made their decision to be together despite the distance and work on being accepted by the families.

62 DISCUSSION

As each film is viewed, it is quite evident that they share basic similarities as well as differences. Both films, Mississippi Masala (1992) and Bend it Like Beckham (2002), hold strong traditional values that are mainly dictated by the parents’, but the daughters also adhere to modern values that are acquired based on the location of where the story takes place. The parent’s behavior and reactions are a key factor in the development of the storyline and how the main protagonist upholds her own modern values. The fact that the traditional arrangement of marriage being carried out by the older sibling also shapes the development of the protagonist in both films. With the younger sibling following in on modern values, while still adhering to the traditional aspects brought on by the family, we see their modern minds at work and the desire to branch out and not follow the traditional path of just getting married.

In this chapter, I will be discussing the importance behind the roles of the parents, the siblings, Mina and Jess, their boyfriends, their friends, as well as the competitors in within the films. I will explain the struggles that each of them faced and the similarities/differences that they faced. I will also be discussing within each section the importance of traditions and culture, and how it helps shape the identity of the South

Asian families as well its importance to the young women within the films. Through this we begin to understand what the older generations consider important to them in comparison to what the younger generations value.

63 The following figures are in the character order in which they were previously presented.

For the purpose of this section, these are charts may be used in order to guide the reader, and assist with character connections.

KINNU (MOTHER)

JAY (FATHER)

MINA ANIL (COUSIN)

HARRY (FORMER SUITOR)

ALICIA (OTHER WOMAN)

DEMETRIUS (LOVER)

Figure 3 Mississippi Masala Character Connection Chart

SUKHI (MOTHER)

MOHAAN (FATHER)

JESS PINKY (SISTER)

(JESMINDER) TONY (BEST FRIEND/POTENTIAL SUITOR)

JULES (JULIETTE) (FRIEND/OTHER WOMAN)

JOE

Figure 4 Bend it like Beckham Character Connection Chart

64 Parents

In the films, the parents of the protagonists hold their tradition, customs, and rituals as extremely important because it defines what they know, what they grew up with, and it ultimately defines who they are. When it comes to Kinnu and Jay from

Mississippi Masala, they do not mind their daughter, Mina, working or supporting herself. They want her to get a better education and to get married to a man of good status so that she can lead a happy life. In the case of Bend it Like Beckham, Mohaan and Sukhi also want the best for their daughter, Jess; they want her to pursue her education and though marriage is not on the forefront of their minds they do want her to marry well in the future, just like their other daughter, Pinky.

Both sets of parents believe that education is extremely important and a necessary part of their children’s lives. Also they think that marriage will insure that they will have successful family lives in the future. In the case of the fathers, Jay believes that once he wins his case and can get his money from the Ugandan government, he will finally be able to send Mina to college, which is his most desired wish. Mohaan believes that Jess should stop focusing on sports and focus on getting into university to pursue her education. That is his desire for Jess.

The mothers on the other hand, though they also want their daughters to have a good education and pursue a future, they also desire that their daughters get married. In

Kinnu’s case, she would like for Mina to get married to Harry Patel, because he is a man of status, wealth, and most importantly he is from their own cultural background. In

Sukhi’s case, she wants Jess to stop focusing on football, and pay attention to developing

65 her homemaking skills. She does not want Jess to be more acquainted with sports than the household matters, which will be needed for when she gets married.

Both sets of parents are fine with their daughters having a job, as it is more common for women to work in the United States and England. Mina works in a motel cleaning rooms and bathrooms and Jess “pretends she has a job at HMV” so she can play football. But the parents are okay with the idea of their children working. It seems that the parents have adjusted to western values when it comes to making a living because at some point both the mothers had jobs. Currently, Kinnu works in the liquor store that she and her husband, Jay own. And Sukhi used to work in Heathrow, which is where Mohaan currently works. So both parents are open to allowing their daughters to work before they get married.

However, even though the parents are okay with their daughters working and getting a higher education, their future life choices put a strain on their relationships.

When Kinnu and Jay find out that Mina is in a relationship with Demetrius they cannot accept it. Not only is he black, but also Mina hides the relationship from them. They find out about it when the two young people are arrested. Mina and Demetrius get arrested when Anil discovers that they were sleeping together. After Anil and Demetrius get into a fight, the police arrest them along with Mina. Jay then has to go to the police station to get Mina, and he finds out about her secret relationship. Then the family believes Mina has brought shame and humiliation upon them. At the end of the film, Mina leaves

Mississippi with Demetrius because she feels they need to break with their families and start over on their own.

66 When Sukhi and Mohaan meet Joe, at first they believe that Jess is having a relationship, but they find out that she is playing football and he is her coach. For Jess’ parents, the fact that she lied about having a job and played football without their knowledge creates a tear in their relationship because it seems she cares more about football than her parent’s decisions.

For the fathers, Jay and Mohaan, when they see their daughters love interest, a flip is switched. In the case of Jay, when he meets with Demetrius after Mina and

Demetrius have been arrested, he is very upset. He does not want Mina to meet with

Demetrius again and is very verbal about the situation. When Mohaan, catches Jess in the arms of Joe, he shouts her name to make them step apart and then gives Jess the silent treatment. Later when he sees Joe outside his house, Mohaan tells Joe that there is nothing for them to talk about and that he should go. At the end of the films, we see the stance of each father. Jay is sad and upset that Mina has decided to leave with Demetrius and he is unable to stop her. Mohaan, accepts her coach, and happily lets her leave to play football abroad. Mohaan accepts Joe and lets Jess leave for the States to play football on scholarship.

Kinnu knows about Mina’s love for Demetrius but Sukhi does not know about

Jess’ love for Joe. In Kinnu’s case, as much as she loves her daughter, she can not condone what Mina has done. She believes Mina is in the wrong and wants her to realize the gravity of the situation. When Mina tells her mother that she is leaving, although

Kinnu does not want her daughter to run away with a man that she does not approve of, she understands that her daughter is in love and that she must accept her daughter’s decision. All Sukhi knows is that she does not want any man to push Jess into playing

67 football, mainly because Jess would bring shame on the family by showing her bare legs along with her scar for the whole world to see. Sukhi does not like Joe, and when the entire family is seeing Jess off at the airport, when Joe comes to see Jess it is at that moment Sukhi gets anxious until Mohaan says that Joe is just the coach. Sukhi does not know of Jess’ relationship with her coach and she remains ignorant of it.

For both sets of parents, it is obvious that they would have preferred for their daughters to be married off or at least engaged in a traditional manner. For each of them, they have had a child of theirs or at least one they considered as their own, who gets married in a traditional manner and they would have liked the same for their youngest child as well.

Siblings

Both Mina and Jess have older siblings getting married in a traditional setting.

Each film has a traditional marriage taking place. In the case of Mississippi Masala, although Mina doe not have an older brother or sister, she does have a cousin, Anil, who is like a brother to her. Although he tries to act very modern, he still gets married in a very traditional manner, with his family all around, doing prayers, and celebrating with music, singing, dance, and photography. Jess’ older sister also gets married in a traditional manner. The marriage is arranged but it is a love match. Pinky gets married in the same way Anil does, being surrounded by family, holding prayers, while also having music, singing, dancing, photography, and various other events.

Although, the older siblings have important relationships with Mina and Jess, their traditional marriages creates a contrast with their younger siblings. In the case of

Anil, he gets married, but he does not get the love and attention that he desires from his

68 wife. His traditional marriage is not happy and he does not get the positive interaction

one would expect from their spouse. Pinky breaks up with her fiancé briefly before the

wedding because his parents hear rumors about Jess. When her relationship breaks, Pinky

argues with her then fiancé about convincing his parents that they have mistaken

information. She has a lot of anger for her potential in-laws to the point of already

disliking her mother-in-law. Finally, things are straightened out and the marriage plan go

forward again.

Although Anil has issues after his marriage and Pinky before her marriage, the

day of their respective marriages they are the happiest they have ever been. When Anil

gets married in the traditional manner following all the customs in order to please his

father, family, and society, he completed the role that was set before him as the older sibling.

The day that Pinky gets married, all her struggles and all the turmoil that she went through led to one of the happiest moments of her life. She gets married in the manner that her family wanted for her, and she gets married to the person she loved the most. She completed the role of the traditional older sibling following the expectations laid out to her by her parents, family, and society. Even though at first it would seem that Pinky would not be happy because she was doing everything by the book instead of running off to get married, by doing every traditional thing in the book, she fulfilled her role and was indeed happy once everything worked out.

It is the parents who explain the importance of traditional aspects of the culture and relationships, to their children. However, though those thoughts and values have been instilled in all their children, it is the older siblings that set the example for their younger

69 siblings. In the case of Anil, he is the example for Mina, that the happy wedding he is having is what she should look forward to. Kinnu hopes that Mina finds her match following the traditional pattern of a girl and guy meeting and liking one another” and then a possible proposal ensues.

In Pinky’s case, when she is crying over breaking up with Tony, she tells Jess that getting married is what everyone wants, and that Jess should not be serious about Joe because she does not want Jess to be made fun of within the community. On her wedding day, Pinky asks Jess whether or not she wants all this, the marriage and happiness of the family. Anil and Pinky, based on their experience, infer that their siblings should look to them as an example of staying within tradition and sticking to the culture and ultimately keeping everyone in the family happy.

Mina and Jess

Mina and Jess are very different from one another. Mina wants adventure and an exciting love, and Jess, trying to achieve her goal of being a soccer player, finds love along the way. They are similar because they do not follow their families’ traditions.

Mina initially considers the traditional role of meeting with the boy her mother chooses for her, which is Harry Patel, but it does not last long. Mina becomes quickly attracted to Demetrius and does not see anything wrong in having a relationship with a black man, in America. Especially considering her background of growing up in Uganda, she is very comfortable around black people. Though she does not originally want to lie to her parents, she becomes quickly swept away by her emotions and no longer considers going to college. She wants to escape from her relatives’ world and create a new life in

70 her new culture. Mina rejects the traditional place in the family that her mother hopes for and strikes out on her own with Demetrius.

Rather than thinking about getting married or even entering university, all Jess wants to do is play football instead of doing what her mother would like, which is learning all the things needed to run a household. Jess believes that preparing for marriage instead of pursuing your dreams is not the path that she wants to take. She wants to play football professionally, and along the way when she does find love, it is not even with someone from her own culture. Jess is already stepping out of the box by playing a sport, but she walks further out of the box by being in a relationship with her

Irish coach, Joe. Jess wants so much more than just getting married, she wants to make something of herself. Though she does love her culture and tradition very much, she does not focus on it and she creates her own pathway to follow.

Both Mina and Jess makes choices in line with the values of the culture they grew up in. Mina falls in love with Demetrius, an African-American, and Jess with her football coach, with Joe, an Irishman. Although they both come from traditional families and have older siblings who follow traditional paths, they break away from tradition and end up with people of different cultures, different races, as well.

Overall, the similarities between both families are very firm. Both families have

South Asian backgrounds, and that is the most important factor in terms of how they conduct themselves, especially when it comes to following culture. All the traditions that they follow are directly from their South Asian roots. South Asians were brought over to

Uganda, and then they were forced to leave the country and their property was confiscated. When they left, Mina’s family first went to England before settling in

71 America, specifically Mississippi. Jess’ family came from Punjab, India, and settled in

England, but Mohaan mentions playing cricket in Nairobi, so he may have been in Africa for some time before coming to England. But despite moving away from their homelands, these two families kept their traditions alive.

The traditions that these families keep alive are part of their very essence. Some of these traditions consists of holding their religious prayers, holding many events when there is a wedding, such as the engagement party, the cooking night, the Henna night, the singing and dancing night, and others. They also go to their temples, and have different rituals that are in conjunction with their religion. But in addition to traditional events, there are traditional expectations. There is the expectation that after the girls get their education they will learn what is needed in order to maintain a household and after marriage they will not need to work outside the home. After their education, getting married is their next big step, but not for Mina and Jess.

Mina and Jess grew up in modern western countries-the United States and

England. They needed to learn the cultural expectations and traditions of the country that they were growing up in. Mina and Jess had to conform to two different cultures and try to maintain a balance between the two.

Why didn’t they end up like their older siblings? The older sibling followed the cultural traditions that kept them grounded. They made the adjustments to their lives so that they could live at ease without extra tension. The younger siblings do not want to conform to their parent’s traditions,, they do not want to fit the mold and they want to branch out. They seek their own interests elsewhere.

72 Boyfriends

The love interests of Mina and Jess - Demetrius and Joe – had to face somewhat similar situations. The romantic connections are made, because the two young men understand the struggles as well as the cultural clashes that the young women face, since they have faced similar situations. Demetrius, a young African-American, tries to connect with his roots but at the same time make a place for himself in Mississippi. He has his own startup business and tries very hard to please his clientele. He is a black man struggling in a hostile white community, that he must depend on to maintain his business. When he is with the white people he needs to act a different way than if he was in his own community. Demetrius has to make these adjustments in order to be successful. Mina recognizes Demetrius’ struggle because her South Asian family is doing the same thing.

Coach Joe is an Irishman. He has had his own struggles to deal with. He is in a football community but cannot play the sport any more due to an injury. He was a good football (soccer) player but was looked down on by his English teammates. The British colonized Ireland as they colonized Indian and historically looked down on the people they controlled. Joe has to constantly deal with his struggle of not being able to play the very sport he loves. He can coach a girl’s team, but has to pull pints in a bar to supplement his own income. Though Joe enjoys coaching, he wishes he could have accomplished more when he could still play. The athletic community is very important to him and Joe has many connections with it, and because he himself has faced his own struggles especially with his injury and with prejudice he is able to understand Jess’

73 struggles. Joe has adjusted his life accordingly, but still want more from it, and at the end of the film he gets both the girl and an opportunity to better his own future.

The young men who are rejected by Mina and Jess have struggles of their own.

Harry Patel, Kinnu’s choice for Mina, he had to change himself in order to fit in the white community. Harry Patel is very much Indian, but rather than indulging in wedding activities, he invites Mina out to a dance bar and attempts to get to know her. Mina is not like the other girls that Harry has met, and so he is interested in her. Harry is wealthy and does not have an accent. He does not act like a typical Indian. He seems to have left his cultural heritage behind in order to adapt to the new one. He has basically assimilated into the American way of life and has become a successful businessman.

An important factor that made Demetrius and Joe stand out against others was not only their struggles, but also how they grew up and ultimately what motivated them to make the decisions that they did. For Demetrius and Joe, their fathers played an important role on how they view life and what they wanted from it. It is because of the actions of their fathers that push Demetrius and Joe to be in the opposite mindset of Mina and Jess’ who want to fulfill their parent’s wishes. Demetrius and Joe do not want to follow their father’s wishes because they do not seem beneficial to them.

Demetrius lives with his father, Willie Ben, and he knows that his father wants him to be safe. Demetrius’ father just wants him to fit in and marry the girl he used to date, Alicia. Demetrius does not want to fit in, rather he wants to stand out and is held back by the wishes of his father. He says that nothing is holding him back, but it is what his father wants from him that is keeping him from doing wants he wants to. Willie Ben wants everyone to stay as they are and staying in the same place and never changing is

74 not part of Demetrius’ personality. Which is why he decides to be with Mina, he can truly be who he is with her and he does not have to stay in the same place. He wants to be free from the wishes of his family.

Joe’s father also shaped the way Joe is today. Growing up, Joe’s father forced him to play football (soccer), and pushed him harder and harder until Joe faced an injury he would have for the rest of his life. Due to this injury, Joe resents his father and wants nothing to do with him. Even the very thought of telling his father that he coach’s a girls team, Joe believes would cause his father to mock him. Joe’s immense hatred for his father is what drives him to want to leave his father. He did what his father wanted and got hurt because of it. It is because of this that Joe no longer wants to follow the wishes of his family.

Friends

Tony is Jess’ best friend. Like Jess, his family migrated to England, but unlike

Jess he is not faced with the decision to choose between a sport, a love life, and pleasing his family. Although Tony plays football, it is just a hobby that he has and plays with his fellow mates in the park. Tony is a gay Indian, which is his own struggle. He may not be able to go through with having a traditional marriage with an Indian woman. Tony struggles with being gay, and because of this his family may influence his future decision. But just the fact that he acknowledges that he is gay indicates that he knows that he will have to determine whether to abandon traditional Indian values in the future.

Jules quickly becomes one of Jess’ best friends. Without Jules, Jess would never have had the opportunity to play football professionally. Like Jess, Jules dreams of becoming a professional athlete and her passion for the sport allowed her to help establish

75 the women’s football team, which she and Jess currently play on. Jules struggles to be accepted for who she is, a football player and not a girly girl, by her mother. Jules also wants to be sought after by Joe, having romantic feelings for him. But she gives up the idea of being with Joe after the Germany incident. Although she struggles to be accepted for who she is, Jules does not let her mother influence her decisions. Ultimately she gets her mother to recognize that even though she is an athlete, she is still a girl with an interest in men.

Competitors

Harry Patel is a suitor for Mina’s hand, and although Mina quickly shoots him down, he was still considered a competitor for Mina’s hand in marriage. If Harry did not take Mina to the dance bar, then he may have been able to peek her interest in some other manner. Potentially becoming the son-in-law that Kinnu wanted. Harry was considered the ideal man that had everything needed to live a respectable life.

Alicia was a former girlfriend of Demetrius, and extremely liked by his father,

Willie Ben. Alicia represented the status quo; she was everything Demetrius did not want in a woman, although at one point he was attracted to her. Willie Ben considered Alicia the best choice for his son, because Alicia is a successful black woman and she fits into their community.

Jules although being Jess’ friend competed with her for Joe’s affection. Jules had known Joe much longer and hoped that she would be able to be with him. While in

Germany, Jules made Joe dance with her and tried to get close enough so it would be just the two of them. But after witnessing Joe almost kissing Jess, she expressed her anger for

76 Jess. Jules still has feelings for Joe but learns to accept his decision after arguing with her

mother about him.

Parental Struggle

The parents of both Mina and Jess faced their own struggles that established the path that their children would later follow. Kinnu and Jay lost everything they owned when the Ugandan government forced Indians to leave and confiscated their property.

They left Uganda and went to England and then America. They had to struggle to adapt a new land, culture and society. Because Mina was young, she could adapt more easily. Jay and Kinnu opened up a liquor shop with the help of Anil and his father, Jay’s “brother”.

They live in a motel, but at least it is family owned and they are all together, with the people that they consider family and who come from the same background. Kinnu has to work in the liquor shop in order to help provide for her family, and Jay is still struggling with his own inner turmoil. He is struggling with the loss of his home in Uganda, he is constantly fighting with the Ugandan government trying to recover his house and land.

He is unable to move on. Kinnu has accepted her situation and adapted accordingly, but they are able to survive because of their culture and family kept them grounded.

When Mohaan and Sukhi migrated to England they faced their own type of struggle, adjusting to a new land, a different culture, and new surroundings. Luckily, they were able to find a community of other Punjabi immigrants just like them with the same cultural background. Mohaan was an excellent cricket player in his youth and wanted to continue playing in England. However, his British teammates made fun of him because he was different and he stopped playing the sport that meant so much to him. He had to deal with an inner struggle of denying himself the one thing outside his family that he had

77 loved so much, and for years he had bitter feeling about British people because of it.

Mohaan and Sukhi, both worked at Heathrow airport, but Sukhi became a stay at home mom. She never let her children forget their culture, their roots, their essence. Mohaan continues to work at Heathrow, and seems to be well respected there. Their lives have changed and they faced difficulties, but they adapted and survived the only way they knew how. But because they came to a new country and had to start from scratch, they toiled and strived to give their family everything. Ultimately, it was their cultural background that kept them together and grounded, they kept their traditions alive. And passed them onto their children. They overcame their struggles by adjusting to life outside of the house, but reverted to a sense of normalcy inside of the home.

Through their struggles have differed, both set of parents still needed to adapt to different cultures. Although it may be difficult to balance the two cultural backgrounds, it would seem that the parents should expect that their children might want to try something new. Perhaps because their traditional culture was such a support to the parents under difficult circumstances, they simply assumed that their children would be supported by it as well.

By focusing on the traditional aspects of life, it is easier for immigrants to feel more comfortable with their current situation. By following in traditional rituals, events, mindsets, they are keeping their culture alive so that they can pass it on to future generations, especially when they are away from their native homeland. But for those with a more modern mindset, even if they grow up in a traditional household, being exposed to modern ideals outside of the home, makes them struggle to blend the two cultures together. The younger generation values family, tradition, and culture, however,

78 they change things and try to mold them to fit their current lifestyle. Family will always be something they value, but they compromise their beliefs along with the belief of those that are older and view the world keeping their traditional viewpoint alive in their eyes.

This need to connect while at the same time adapt can cause turmoil in the South Asian diaspora.

79 CONCLUSION

When it comes to being traditional or being modern, marrying or following your own dream, sticking to the norm or doing your own thing; it all depends on how you grow up and what your environment was like, as well as what you are like as a person.

Comparing the years when these movies took place, Mississippi Masala (1992) and Bend it Like Beckham (2002) to now (2017), many young South Asian – American women have come into their own and their identity is essential to how they live their lives.

Young women in the same age range as I (I am 24), have their own unique experiences growing up with their families and making their own decisions about how they want to live their lives.

I consider myself a modern traditionalist. I try to do things traditionally but in a modern way. For example, I aimed to get into university, just as Mina and Jess, did. I got in, graduated, and instead of looking for a suitor, I decided to get my master’s degree.

Similar to Jess, I am working towards a career goal, and in my case rather than it being a sport, I hope to stay within academia.

The issue of identity is very important to me, because I am a Trinidadian Indian-

American woman, which means I am considered as an Indo-Caribbean American. The identity of Asian Indian-American women is extremely interesting because although women may seem somewhat restricted by our traditional culture, within the American culture we are able to be free and independent.

80 What is it that creates the identity of Asian Indian-American women? From my

own personal experience as well as from speaking with other women in the same position

as me, it would have to be learning how to combine aspects of more than one culture.

South Asian Indian-American women have more than one culture to handle and

sometimes it gets the best of us.

The household is where our Asian roots are located and we adhere to the rules

that our families set before us. Home is where we learn about our roots and the culture

that is part of our identity. For most of our lives, that is what we know and accept as

normal. But when we step outside of our homes, we receive a culture shock because we

are confronted with the way families from another culture do things. The way other

families learn things, their activities, and their foods. We grow up living two lives. We act one way at home and another at school. We learn to talk like those around us at

school, we eat the same things that other children eat when we are not at home and we

learn to develop habits and actions that are like our classmates.

However, what we learned at home will never leave our consciousness. There will

be times that we do something we are used to doing and have to explain it to others, but

in turn they learn about our culture. Having the ability to balance both the home and the

outside cultures is what shapes our personalities and forms who we are. As women, we

learn that society has rules that we are expected to follow. We learn to embrace the rules

of the new culture and at the same time understand the roles set for us by our old culture.

Deciding whether we choose to accept the traditional roles or form new roles is what

helps us create our own individual identities.

81 The young women in the films I chose to analyze try to blend their cultural heritage into the freedom they are given. In some ways Mina and Jess are restricted by the upbringing that they received from their parents. However, when they are outside of their houses, they take advantage of the freedom given to them by going out with friends, shopping, involving themselves in sports. These are things that I along with other young

Asian Indian-American women would consider to be completely normal. When they are at home, however there is a completely different dynamic. We do not want to upset our parents, but at the same time our parents, by migrating to different countries, have given us the freedom to explore different options in the world.

It would seem that blending traditional culture with the freedom to be independent has had a definite effect. More young Asian Indian-American women of today take pride in their culture and they express it through the clothes that that they wear as wear as well as by introducing certain aspects of their culture to those that do not share it. Culture can be shared via food, movies, and activities such as henna tattoos and with bindis and bangles. The same way young women introduce non-Indian women to the culture

Americans do the same with their culture.

How does cultural heritage affect forms of expression as well as demeanor? For some their cultural heritage has a huge impact on how they express themselves through clothing and demeanor. Some women may be the shy and the “typical” Indian girl that cooks and cleans and looks after the house may be afraid to voice her own opinions about things going on outside the home. But there are young women that use their heritage to enhance their personalities. They are bold and believe in equality for men and women,

82 they are not scared to voice their opinions and they do not adhere to what is considered the traditional reserved role.

Are young Asian Indian-American women free to choose what they can wear? In

Western countries, women are free to choose how they want to dress. Although their parents may give their opinions on dressing styles, and may want their daughters to dress more conservatively, ultimately young women decide how they want to dress, including wearing shorts, skirts, tanks tops, etc. The decision is theirs, the factors that play into how they dress are mainly how they feel in their own skin, how comfortable they feel showing more of themselves, and what makes them happy. That does not mean that their culture does not play any part in how they dress, it is always a part of them, although it may not be visible, their culture does not leave them regardless of how they dress themselves.

Many young women accessorize with items that represent their culture, be it a handbag, shoes, or jewelry.

Do these women feel attracted to people of varying cultural backgrounds? For

Asian Indian-American women of today, it is all about preference. Rather than having their parents pick out their potential spouse, they find someone that they fall in love with and that is the person they choose to marry. Although, interracial relationships may seem scarce because people still generally stick to their own, it is completely up to the woman and what they look for in a husband. Cultural background does not seem to play a major role when young people are initially dating. It becomes a bigger issue later on in a relationship. This is also dependent on the person’s mindset. If they have been encouraged to be open to all people then they do not just look for potential partners with the same cultural background. They will feel comfortable looking for men that are

83 different from them. Young women in general look for partners that make them happy and will agree to build a future together. Although certain couples may face opposition from their families about an interracial relationship, whether the relationship survives depends on the understanding between the couple and their respective parents.

Do young Asian Indian- American women feel attracted to men of different cultural backgrounds? It depends on whether or not the families that these young women come from are very conservative and stick closely to people from their own culture. If young women grow up in a household where their families have enforced the idea that their children that they must stick to the culture and those that are a part of it in order to preserve it, then that may very well play an important part in their outlook. If young women grow up with the same thoughts as their parents and it is heavily ingrained into their mindsets, then they may believe that only someone from the same cultural background is the right fit for them. As society becomes more proactive, however, so do the minds of young women. If other interracial couples at school surround them then they will feel that they can be in one too. Parents cannot truly control how their daughters’ think.

There are many families that conform to the “American” or “English” way of life and then their daughters have more freedom to do as they please. But even though there is freedom and possibly less pressure to get married as soon as possible, their families may still be on the lookout for a potential husband. And they may want their daughters to marry at an appropriate age (28-30 is considered too old). However, in Western countries, once women are 18 then their parents cannot legally control their lives. Although families may try to “help” the situation, ultimately the decision is determined by what young

84 women want out of life and what is suitable to them based on their personalities. Since women today are more open about expressing their opinions, many live their lives according to their own terms. Though there are some that live their lives according to the wishes of their families, marriage is something that they eventually can take into their own hands.

Does the environment that one grows up in play the ultimate factor in how young

Asian Indian women conduct themselves? The environment can have a strong impact on how people conduct themselves. If a woman grows up in is a quiet, conservative, very cultural community then the way you act outside the community is considered a reflection of the community itself. For some women, they may not want to do anything adventurous and feel pressure to revert to the ideal of a young Indian woman that is frail, shy, and does not express her opinions very openly, in order to protect her family from criticism. If a young woman grows up in a less traditional household or in a community where people are open to exploring different things, then she may be encouraged to be more adventurous.

The environment/community can play a heavy role depending on the outlook of the parents. “Consequently, some women are not only frightened of leaving their communities, which will more likely reject them, but are also frightened of entering into a majority culture that frequently isolates and discriminates against them (Parmar, 1982).

This is an extremely important point, because once women associate themselves with a partner that is ‘not the same’ as them then they are potentially detaching themselves from their culture. Their husband and children may need to move back and forth between two

85 cultural heritages. In order to remain connected to her traditional culture a daughter may need the support of their family or community.

Do young women need to identify themselves as Asian Indian-Americans? With age and experience people change and the way they handle their experiences will determine how they choose to act and identify themselves. “ The means of acquiring self- identity within the diasporic communities is thus a ‘creative’ output, since it positions itself relationally to that of others and accordingly attempts to reach a milieu in which the chosen identity can sustain a high degree of autonomy.” (Hussain, 2017, pg. 8). With every change young people learn something new and they learn to adapt until change becomes normal. Thus their previous behaviors evolves into their current ones.

Do the relationships that they are in shape their independence? If women are in relationships that allow for their opinions to be expressed then it can boost their level of independence, but if they are not allowed to express themselves they may settle for a life that they do not want. If the relationships that the women are in happen to be destructive towards their own opinions and voice then they may decide to look elsewhere and find someone that truly appreciates them, and lets them express themselves.

In terms of familial relationships, if the young women see that their voice matters to those around them then they are more likely to embrace their own opinions and stand up for themselves by exerting their independence. This can be seen in the educational setting as well. Asian Indian parents are becoming more supportive of their daughters educational future and this opens up a wider path for young women. “Overall, parents are now becoming more supportive of their daughters’ pursuit of their educational goals as well as their integration within the employment market (Ahmad and Modood, 2003). By

86 becoming educated, young women can become independent and take charge of their

lives. An example of this is Pinky. She went to school, got a job, and it was a normal for

her to be working while planning her wedding.

If young Asian Indian-American women only associate with those of the same

cultural background are they doing it because it is safe? Staying with your own kind is a

type of normalcy, it is what they are used to, it insures that nothing is different from their

own cultural understanding. “Marriage within the South Asian groups is also a principal

means by which boundaries are maintained.” (Hussain, p. 27). But in addition to safety,

there is also the idea that they should not diverge from what they are used to in order to

protect their culture. Immigrant parents may feel that it is necessary to protect their

original culture, because it is such a big part of their identity.

Do young Asian Indian-American women feel attracted to men of different

cultural backgrounds because it helps them take charge of their own lives? If these

women look past cultural backgrounds, then how it will affect their families? “The question of marriage raises the issue of conflicting expectations between partners from different cultural backgrounds, particularly in the case of cross-cultural marriage”

(Hussain, P. 14). In terms of interracial relationships, there can be similarities between different races and cultures that make it easier for partners to understand each other. This is the case between Mina and Demetrius and Jess and Joe. Although the couple’s ethnic backgrounds are different, their life experiences are similar.

Are women sticking to the typical traditional role as seen in Bollywood films or are they branching out and adapting a modern role? For women of the South Asian identity, rather than conforming, they are blending to fit themselves the way they want

87 be. “The majority culture harboured notions about South Asian communities and the place of women within them which were frequently distorted by stereotypical images and ethnocentric perceptions of women in the context of western values of independence and individuality, which South Asian cultures were seen as denying.” (Hussain, 2017, p. 1).

Due to South Asian cultures making it seem as though most women conform to the typical idea of a traditional role as seen in Bollywood films, that is not the reality of the current day situation. Although the film industry is branching out in order to adapt a more modern role, something that better fits the western ideals of individuality and independence, in actuality, they still reify the traditional idea of the South Asian woman.

“However, from within the minority groups themselves, inherited ideas of South Asian identity and women’s roles were being questioned, not only by the men who were supposedly the privileged guardians of imposed identities but also by the women themselves who rejected the identities prescribed for them” (Hussain, 2017, p. 1).

Women no longer want to see the roles that were created for them in the past. They want to reject those roles and what was expected of them. They want to create their own identity.

After viewing Mississippi Masala (United States), and Bend It Like Beckham

(England), I have been able to clearly focus in on the development of each character’s relationship on varied levels. After analyzing each female protagonist and how they express themselves, what they want in their lives currently, and hope to pursue in the future, I observed that these young women wanted to change not only their families’ traditional perceptions of how they should live their lives, but also cultural norms that keep women in their place. “Consequently South Asian women have redefined the very

88 idea of South Asianness and South Asian womanhood within both the minority and

majority cultures as they give voice to their resistance to oppression. The creative output

from these women documents this struggle.” (Hussain, P.1).

Mina and Jess’ parents, although initially against their daughter’s changing

behaviors learn that they can no longer control the desires of these young women. The

parents understand that they have to accept the decisions made by their children and that

the only way to continue having a stable relationship with them is to stand by them and

support them in anyway that they can.

As society changes and people become more accepting of change, the parents of

today want more for their daughters than marriage and children. “Parents are keen to see

their children do well and not to miss out on the opportunities they, the parents, did not

have” (Bhatti, 1999). Parents want their children to have the opportunities that they never

had. In the case of Mina and Jess, their mothers accept that their daughters will live their

lives differently from their expectations. “In contemporary society, the mothers were

more keen to see their daughters succeed academically and professionally...The positive

role played by fathers is also important, which challenges stereotypes of ‘restrictive’

South Asian fathers” (Hussain, p. 28). The fathers initially wanted their daughters to be

educated but they objected to the things that their daughters chose to lead them to a better

and brighter future. However, the parents came to the understanding that if they blocked

the things that their daughters wanted then the daughters would not have happy lives.

Mina and Jess were to have the lives they wanted. In the case of Mina, she wanted to break out of the life her family was forced to create and resented and pursue a new life with Demetrius. She and Demetrius are both taking a risk. They are abandoning the lives

89 their families live and jumping into the unknown. The audience sees how determined they both are to get what they want, so the films ends on hopeful notes. Jess wants to play football (soccer) professionally and have a career in sports. Joe understands her desire and supports her choice to develop her skills by accepting the football (soccer) scholarships in the States.

Although both Mina and Jess fall in love with non-Indians, that does not deter them from what they desired, it helped them move toward their goals. These women were not the shy and timid types content to let life pass them by, they took charge of their lives and fell in love with men who understood them and could help them. By having relationships with men from different racial backgrounds, they were able to open up more about their own struggles and reflect on who they were and what they wanted out of life.

By looking at Mina and Jess’ interracial relationships, it is clear that South Asian women are being open to the idea that there is more to life than traditional women’s roles. There is strength in accepting and understanding who they are, what their identity as a South Asian women is, and they understand that their culture although part of them does not define them. Interracial relationships are just one piece of the development plan for young women of today. Films like Mississippi Masala and Bend It Like Beckham allow young Asian-Indian American women in the diaspora to see things differently. In turn, these women have the opportunity to change themselves, take hold of who they really are, and realize that although being romantically involved with someone of a different race is considered straying from the traditional path, it may be a way of helping to define what you truly want to become. As times change, so does a person’s mindset and this is a step towards the future and cultures must adapt to fit current lifestyles.

90 Culture plays an important role in identity and we can see that South Asian female identity is developing into more than it once was and many families are accepting that change for the benefit of their daughters.

This is extremely important to women such as myself and other women of the

South Asian diaspora because of the impact that this can have on our lives. The women in these films represent women within the same cultural group and they face a real dilemma that all South Asian women face while being in the diaspora, the transitioning between cultures and blending the two. In certain ways, I believe that the films are good depictions of how South Asian women feel today. South Asian women are definitely more open to the idea of not sticking to the traditional roles set before us. By first accepting ourselves and then getting others to do the same, we are able to grasp the importance of our situation and how we can change it to benefit our futures.

I have relatives that are in interracial relationships and because I see it happening in front of my eyes, I understand that this is the reality of today. I chose to explore this topic because it is occurring with members of my own family. People are becoming more open-minded and these relationships are becoming more widely accepted. But I still feel that although people are becoming more accepting, interracial couples still face opposition from other members of the family or from society. I have spoken to other

South Asian women about this topic and how it relates to us in terms of these films depicting fiction versus reality. There are many factors that come into play when it comes to making a decision about how we as South Asian women, want our futures to look. By becoming more independent, balancing more than one culture, and pursuing our

91 dreams, making a decision about our future relationships is something that truly empowers us.

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