Nichum Aveilim
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Volume 12 Issue 6 TOPIC Nichum Aveilim SPONSORED BY: KOF-K KOSHER SUPERVISION Compiled by Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits Reviewed by Rabbi Benzion Schiffenbauer Shlita Edited by: Rabbi Chanoch Levi HALACHICALLY SPEAKING Halachically Speaking is a Proofreading: Mrs. EM Sonenblick monthly publication compiled by Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits, Website Management and Emails: a former chaver kollel of Yeshiva Heshy Blaustein Torah Vodaath and a musmach of Harav Yisroel Belsky zt”l. Rabbi Lebovits currently works as the SPONSORED: Rabbinical Administrator for .the KOF-K Kosher Supervision לזכר נשמת מורי ורבי הרה"ג רב חיים ישראל Each issue reviews a different area of contemporary halacha ב"ר דוב זצ"ל בעלסקי with an emphasis on practical applications of the principles Dedicated in honor of the first yartzeit of discussed. Significant time is spent ensuring the inclusion of ר' שלמה בן פנחס ע"ה all relevant shittos on each topic, SPONSORED: as well as the psak of Harav Yisroel Belsky, zt”l on current .issues לז"נ מרת רחל בת אליעזר ע"ה SPONSORED: WHERE TO SEE HALACHICALLY SPEAKING Halachically Speaking is לעילוי נשמת .distributed to many shuls מרת בריינדל חנה ע"ה ,It can be seen in Flatbush בת ר' חיים אריה יבלח"ט Lakewood, Five Towns, Far גערשטנער Rockaway, and Queens, The Flatbush Jewish Journal, Design by: baltimorejewishlife.com, The Jewish Home, chazaq.org, and SRULY PERL 845.694.7186 frumtoronto.com. It is sent via email to subscribers across the world. SUBSCRIBE To sponsor an issue please call FOR FREE 718-744-4360 and view archives @ © Copyright 2016 www.thehalacha.com by Halachically Speaking Nichum Aveilim ח.( )ברכות here are many halachic issues that pertain to the Tmitzvah of being menachem avel. Who begins to talk first? What should one talk to the avel about? When menachem avel בלבד... הלכה אין לו להקב"ה בעולמו אלא ד' אמות של should one come to be ? Why are the mirrors covered in an avel’s home? May an item be removed from the avel’s home? In this issue, we will discuss the halachos and customs of an avel’s home. Learning Hilchos Aveilus Many people are hesitant to learn Maseches Moed Kattan because it talks about inyanei aveilus, and they are concerned that this might create an ayin hara that would result in some harmful event R”l. Te Sefer Chassidim1 comments that before learning this masechta one should daven to Hashem that nothing bad will happen to him. He maintains that Maseches Moed Kattan is a meis mitzvah since some people don’t learn it for fear that something bad will happen, so if one wishes to learn it he is doing a great mitzvah. Te Knesses Hagedolah2 says that there is only a concern if one learns it with a group of people, but learning alone is permitted. Tis masechta is included in the Daf Yomi cycle so it would seem that one may learn it. Furthermore, most Rishonim have a pirush on this masechta.3 When one 1. 261:pages 225-226, see Yosef Ometz page 270, Minhag Yisrael Torah Y.D. 246:29, Asei Lecha Rav 8:66, Be’er Moshe intro to second volume page 4, Derech Sichah 2:page 328. Refer to Yehuda Ya’aleh 2:248 on why some do not learn it. Refer to Kovetz Zera Yaakov 14:page 190:33-34, page 191:37. Te Yalkut Yosef intro to volume 7, pages 2-3 says if one is learning inyanei aveilus for the needs of the tzibbur he has nothing to worry about. (Quoting the opinion of Harav Ben-zion Abba Shaul zt”l, see Zecher L’Avraham 5760:pages 899-900.) 2. Y.D. 245:3. 3. She’arim Metzuyanim B’halachah beginning of Moed Kattan. SPONSORED BY: Nichum Aveilim | 3 learns this masechta he should not delve into it as deeply as he does with other masechtos, but he should learn it quickly.4 Even if one would avoid learning hilchos aveilus,5 there is no need to abstain from learning hilchos menachem avel, since they pertain to one coming to console the aveilim. If one did not learn these halachos then he would not know what to do.6 Te Mitzvah Tere is a big mitzvah7 to console someone who lost a relative.8 Te pasuk9 says that it is better to go to a beis avel than to go to a party. We see that Hashem consoled Yitzchak after Avraham Avinu was niftar.10 Hashem did so to Yaakov after he lost Yitzchak as well.11 Terefore, even a great person should go be menachem avel a person of lower stature.12 (An avel does not have to rise in respect for anyone of great stature13 because he is immersed in his pain.)14 4. Sefer Chassidim ibid., Kaf Hachaim 116:189, Tov Yehoshua 2:18:4, Shemiras Haguf V’hanefesh 89:1. 5. Refer to Igros Moshe Y.D. 4:60:4 which says all have to learn these halachos. 6. Zecher Avraham 5760:page 894. Refer to Sheilas Hametzuos 3:pages 107-108 quoting the opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a. 7. Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1. 8. Refer to Bereishis 37:34-35, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 376:1. Refer to Orchos Rabbeinu 4:page 119:15 where it is stated that the Steipler zt”l went to great lengths to be menachem avel (and mevaker choleh). Refer to Toras Chaim page 161:9. 9. Koheles 7:2. 10. Bereishis 25:11, Maseches Sotah 14a, Darchei Hachaim 4:1, see Sifsei Chachamim “d’ei.” 11. Bereishis 35:9, Rashi “vayivarech,” Michtav M’Eliyahu 4:page 342. 12. V’ein Lamo Michshol 6:pages 299-300. See Nishmas Yisrael 1:24:page 481 if one should be menachem an avel whom one does not know well. עג.( הבא... )נדה הלכות בכל יום מובטח לו שהוא בן עולם כל השונה הלכות בכל יום מובטח לו שהוא בן עולם הבא... )נדה עג.( 13. Maseches Moed Kattan 27b, Rama Y.D. 376:1, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:2, Darchei Hachaim 4:5. Refer to Rivevos Ephraim 7:230 if an avel has to get up if a sefer Torah passes by. SPONSORED 14. Levush Y.D. 376:1. BY: 4 | HAlAchicAllY SpeAKiNg Tere is a discussion in the poskim if this is included in the mitzvah of doing kindness mid’Oraisa15 or mid’Rabbanan.16 Some say that one should train a child to go ח.( )ברכות be menachem avel as well, although the custom seems to be lenient.17 בלבד... הלכה אין לו להקב"ה בעולמו אלא ד' אמות של Te Main Focus of the Mitzvah When one is menachem avel, he should realize that the main focus is to console the mourners from their pain.18 Some say it is a tikkun to the deceased by coming to be menachem avel,19 since the davening there brings a pleasant feeling for the deceased.20 Te customary phrase is “HaMakom21 yenachem eschem besoch sha’ar aveili Tzion v’Yerushalayim.”22 Some say that the nusach of eschem 15. Rabbeinu Yonah Maseches Brachos 3:page 22, ”Mishnah,” Darchei Hachaim 4:1:footnote 1. Refer to Pele Yoetz “nechamah” page 410 (new), Ahavas Chessed 3:6:page 282, Salmas Chaim 625 (old), Pirkei D’Rabbi Elazar 16. Some say included in this is to make sure the mourners have food to eat, etc. (Teshuvos V’hanhagos 3:378). Refer to Nishmas Yisrael 1:24:page 481. 16. Rambam Hilchos Avel 14:1, Mishnah Berurah 224:13. 17. Nitei Gavriel (Aveilus) 85:15, Chai Pinchas page 120, Nishmas Yisrael 1:24:page 508. 18. Ahavas Chessed 3:6:page 283. 19. Teshuvos V’hanhagos 1:691, 2:587. 20. V’ein Lamo Michshol 6:page 306:footnote 14. See Nishmas Yisrael 1:24:pages 496- 497. 21. Refer to Rivevos Ephraim 5:559 why we say “haMakom.” Also see Tzitz Eliezer 17:7:1. 22. Prisha 393:3, Aruch Hashulchan O.C. 287:3, Nitei Gavriel (Aveilus) 90:1, Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 24. Refer to Orchos Rabbeinu 4:page 116:1 quoting this as the custom of the Steipler zt”l. Some say “lo sosifu l’da’avah od” (Teshuvos V’hanhagos 4:274:9:7 says this is the custom of Yerushalayim). Refer to Nishmas Yisrael 1:24:pages 494-495, Tziyanei Halachah pages 302-303. See Teshuvos V’hanhagos 3:378, 5:309:18 on this phrase. SPONSORED BY: Nichum Aveilim | 5 (lashon rabim) is said even when being menachem one avel.23 Some say that the aveilim answer amen after the brachah.24 Some explain the nusach as follows: When one consoles an avel, he does not know if it will be efective. However, we know that Hashem always takes care of the good of the tzibbur, and any nechamah which includes the tzibbur will be accepted. Terefore, we add Yerushalayim to the nechamah, which is a consolation for the tzibbur.25 Although one can be yotzei the mitzvah with this one phrase, it is better to actually engage the mourner in conversation and ease his pain (see below).26 Nichum Aveilim or Bikur Cholim? Nichum aveilim is kindness for both the living and the one who was niftar.27 Terefore, the mitzvah of nichum aveilim has precedence over the mitzvah of bikur cholim.28 23. Opinion of Harav Elyashiv zt”l quoted in Halichos Bein Adam L’chaveiro 27:footnote 47, Tziyanei Halachah pages 313-314. Te Gesher Hachaim 20:5:8 says one should say “oscha” when going to be menachem avel one person.