Th e student ‘news’paper of Imperial College London

Issue 1,402 felix Friday 9 May 2008 felixonline.co.uk

The Wizard of Boz Inside International news weekly Felix assesses the new Mayor’s manifesto and his promises of change for the country’s capital over the next four years, see pages 3 to 6

Pages 8 & 9

ICU looking hot

Pages 28 & 29

The Science Challenge finalists

Centre pages

18th Century Roman art

Pages 22 & 23 2 felix Friday 9 May 2008

News News Editor – Andrew Somerville, News Goblin – Matty Hoban [email protected] Student hospitalised after Queen’s Lawn comes under first floor window fall shadow of student body

Tom Roberts Editor-in-Chief

Last week, a student was taken to hospital after falling from a first floor window in Southwell Hall. The inci- dent occurred in the early hours of the morning on Monday 28th April. Emergency services, including the fire brigade, were called to the scene. There they were required to cut the student free, since he had fallen onto the railings below, avoiding a two-floor drop into the basement entrance area. The student was taken to hospital and initially put on life support. South- well Hall Warden Nick Voulvoulis told Felix that since the incident, the stu- dent has “[undergone] surgery and is now recovering well.” Students affected by the incident were offered counselling. If you would like further support, feel free to contact the College’s Counselling Service by telephoning 020 759 49637 or emailing [email protected]. The first floor window in Southwell Hall from which the student fell

Plethora of Union positions up for grabs

Kadhim Shubber dents. The Presidents are their respective Faculty Un- Politics Editor responsible for over- ion and lecturers and seeing, and represent- demonstrators in each Nominations are currently open for ing the views and wel- department. many, many positions throughout fare of thousands of The final positions the Union. Students can stand students, often in up for grabs are within for positions within the Fac- meetings with ICU, such as the Council ulty Union they belong to (ie: College and ICU Chair, who is responsible RCSU, CGCU or ICSMU), bigwigs. They’ll for steering debate (while the department they are in, or probably organise the remaining completely im- IC students pounced at the chance of invading the desolate within Imperial College Un- occasional hella- partial) in the Union’s policy Queen’s Lawn this week, basking in the glorious sunshine whilst ion (ICU) itself. Nomina- mashup too. making meetings, the RAG College’s fleet of marquees takes a well-earned break from hosting tions close at 11:59pm on Within the (Raising And Giving) Chair, numerous business-types and conference-goers. Several students Sunday. If you don’t want to Faculty Unions who organises fund-raising insisted that using the lawn during the exam period is a welcome stand yourself, voting for the majority are the departmental events throughout the year, break from stuffy libraries and crowded computer rooms. However of elections opens on 19th May, except societies (ie: Physoc, Civsoc, and more. they were obviously too intoxicated with the spirit of freedom to for the Engineering elections which etc). Each one will be elect- Look out for students cam- be taken seriously. News that several members of College staff, open on Monday 12th May. ing a committee – much like paigning and head to www. when approached by this reporter, said they were “too busy The most important positions to be a club or society’s commit- imperialcollegeunion.org/ sunbathing” to comment, is completely unfounded. elected are the Faculty Union Presi- tee – which communicates with vote to make your choice.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London felix 1,402 SW7 2BB. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. Printed by The Harmsworth Printing Ltd, 17 Brest Road, Derriford, Plymouth. Registered newspaper Friday 9/5/08 ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2007.

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The next four years with Boris Johnson n the very first minutes of Friday 1st May, Conservative candidate Boris Johnson was declared to be the new Mayor of London. Al- most six hours after the results were supposed to be announced, returning officer Anthony Mayer read out the polling figures at I City Hall. Even though incumbent mayor Livingstone got a sub- stantially larger share of the second preference vote, his 1.03 million votes were not enough to defeat Boris’ 1.17 million first and second preference supporters. As the results were announced, Boris sheep- ishly shook hands with the other candidates on the podium, showing particular warmth to his strongest rival. After the speeches by Johnson, Livingstone and Paddick, referred to by Boris as the ‘strange triumvi- rate’, public attention was drawn to the results of the other parties. Coming fourth and fifth respectively, only 8,000 votes separated Siân Berry’s Green party from Richard Barnbrook’s BNP – a result seen by many in the public as a worrying outcome of this election. Bullingdon Boy Boris’ background is defenders have always known for the numerous gaffes that have bulletin: he didn’t consider his candidacy claimed that his bumbling plagued his public life. Consequently, de- serious enough. But a carefully managed was an act, that his gaffes spite being a well-known public figure, he campaign, free of any gaffes allowed the were just that and that in was seen as a liability rather than an asset public to forgive his previous misdemean- Hreality he was a competent to his colleagues; probably more useful to ours and put their trust in him. Boris the and intelligent individual. Such defence the tabloids than the Conservative par- fumbler gradually gained confidence in has been cold comfort for his detractors ty. Despite this, in 2005 fellow Bulling- debates and the intellectual that his de- who saw little evidence of a brain behind don Club member David Cameron, now fenders have always claimed lay beneath his floppy blonde hair. But after winning leader of the opposition, appointed Boris the surface, shone through. 1,168,738 votes in the London Mayoral shadow minister of education; his second Not everyone is convinced, though: contest, Boris has overcome his detrac- time in the cabinet after an abortive foray Paul Merton recently joked that Lon- tors and established himself as a serious under Michael Howard. Boris might have donders will soon remember that “he’s a political animal. continued steadily enough, always in the fucking idiot” and, furthermore, rumours President of the Oxford Union and a public spotlight but given little notice as are swirling that David Cameron is nerv- member of the Bullingdon Club, one a credible politician. ous about the possibility of a Boris-style might have presumed that his political Yet here we find ourselves in 2008, and Gaffegate damaging the Conservative career would blossom quickly, in similar the mayor of one the world’s richest cit- Party’s credibility nationwide. The true fashion to fellow Bullingdon members ies is a man who for years has been dis- measure of his transformation into seri- David Cameron and George Osborne. regarded as a bumbler. His election to ous politician will be his record as Mayor. However, he chose to enter the world of this prestigious position has been accom- He will either be remembered fondly as journalism instead, with varied results. panied by a miraculous transformation. an entertaining but ultimately successful Although Editor of The Spectator from When he first announced his candidacy, politician or the man who damaged the 1999 to 2005 and Conservative MP for BBC Political Editor Nick Robinson didn’t Conservative Party’s best chance of re- Henley from 2001, he was, and still is, best think it should appear on the main news gaining power after 13 years. Boris’ recreational pursuits caught on camera In a moment of hilarity caught on national television, Boris attempts to tackle an opposition player in a charity football match. I, Boris Johnson, pledge to...

Tackle gang culture With the rise in violent crimes amongst teenagers, addressing this issue is one of the most important tasks the Mayor faces; 12 teenagers have died as a result of violent crime this year alone. Boris campaigned on his assertion that tackling minor crime would successfully miti- gate more serious crime. To reduce the number of knives and guns carried onto buses and trains, he plans to introduce handheld scanners at a cost of £2.6m. Boris also believes police are burdened by bureaucracy and has signalled his intent to lighten police hours by putting an end to the “stop and account” form. Boris’ promise to tackle gang culture was an intention shared by his rivals. Whilst his focus on respect in society is bold, one would be surprised if he had the magic formula to this national problem.

Improve London’s transport Boris’ policy is two-fold, focussing on transport crime as well as efficiency and quality of serv- ice. He intends to remove free travel privileges from those who abuse London transport, forc- ing them to earn it back through community service. This is in line with the Mayor’s emphasis on respect within society. Boris has promised a wide-range of changes to improve the quality of transport, including a no-strike agreement with the tube unions; quashing the plans of a £25 Congestion Charge increase; and to phase out bendy buses. Following comments from the largest tube union’s leader, Bob Crow, the chances of a no-strike agreement being reached are nil. Whilst Boris’ plans to tackle crime on buses may bear fruit, his policies on the Congestion Charge and the bendy buses are reactionary, and he has shown few fresh ideas to really tackle the problems with London’s transport.

Tackle our environment’s problems Boris intends to increase the amount of recycling in London, to improve the quality of local neighbourhoods and is committed to cutting London’s carbon emissions by 60% by 2025. He opposes the development of the third runway at Heathrow and also wants to set up an annual Mayor’s prize to award £20,000 to students for innovative, low-carbon technology ideas. His manifesto pledges largely “encourage” Londoners to tackle environmental problems but are seemingly devoid of genuine substance.

Make housing affordable Boris plans to deliver 50,000 new homes by 2011 and to renovate the capital’s 84,000 empty properties in an attempt to make housing more affordable for low-income families and those entering the property market. A policy that will directly affect students is his promise to pro- tect private tenants from rogue landlords by publishing a ‘Fair Rents Guide.’ His promises for increasing the number of available homes across London will reassure Londoners who face great difficulty buying property during this period of economic instability. However, the sever- ity of the global crisis will make his promises difficult to deliver.

Deliver a successful Olympic Games Boris has pledged to fight for a lasting legacy for the London Olympics so that once the Games is finished, the city is not left with unused infrastructure and facilities. He is committed to en- suring the cost to the taxpayer remains at current levels, so that any extra money put towards the Olympics is not paid for through London Council Tax increases. Boris’ promises are simi- lar to the previous Mayor’s and there is little room for real political impact and fresh policies to be created. The new Mayor’s main challenge is to ensure no major mistakes are made in preparation of the 2012 Olympics and to develop an effective working relationship with La- bour’s Tessa Jowell, who has previously referred to Boris as a “bit of a joke.”

Written by Tom Roberts, Kadhim Shubber & Gilead Amit. Designed by Tom Roberts

Friday 9May 2008

Picture of the Week

The Four Horsemen, by Ammar Waraich. Fourth Year Medicine

We want to exhibit your art. Send in your photographs. [email protected] felix 7 8 felix Friday 9 May 2008

International [email protected] Headlines from around the globe The world beyond College walls...

Election Results United States Barack Obama has gained victory in the North Carolina Democratic primary, winning 56% of the vote, while Hillary Clinton narrowly won in Indiana with a 51% majority. Obama was once again hoping for a knock- out blow that would end Clinton’s campaign, however this result was not enough to extinguish her hopes of victory. After the results, Clinton declared “full speed on to the White House”.

Kadhim Shubber & Gilead Amit

elcome to what we hope will be a regular fea- ture of Felix Wthis term – the International Headlines. We in the offices flatter ourselves (and in- sult you) in believing Felix is the most-read newspaper on campus. We therefore felt it was about time we provided you with information about what takes place outside the walls of college. Anything we write in this section, this week or any other, will be pri- marily a summary of what we deem to be the major newsworthy events happening worldwide. Some things will make it in, some things won’t. If you want to find out more about things we mention or don’t, we sug- Presidential Run-off gest you make the colossal effort of checking a newspaper, news-site or news channel. Zimbabwe This week, three elections, Ameri- can foreign policy and two natural After weeks of waiting, and a controversial recount, disasters made the final cut; our offical election results in Zimbabwe show that opposition apologies to all the other gallant lit- MDC leader Morgan Tsvangirai did indeed win the tle news stories which didn’t quite election, but without the 50% majority required to avoid make it in. a runoff. He gained 47.9% as opposed to Mugabe’s 43.2%. We send especial apologies to Tsvangirai has not yet confirmed his participation in the Chile’s Llaima volcano, which, runoff, though if he does not contest, Mugabe will be though forcing over 6,000 people declared victor by default. to evacuate their homes, has not yet killed anybody. Try harder, Llaima, and maybe someone will pay atten- tion. Equally sincere apologies to Secretary of State Rice, whose ef- forts in the Middle East have not yet produced any results worth bother- ing you with. See you next week. Friday 9 May 2008 felix 9 [email protected] International

New President

Russia

Wednesday 7th of May saw the inauguration of Dmitry Medvedev as Russia’s President. In his first public speech after the appointment, Medvedev declared his intention to ‘pay special attention to the fundamental role of the law’, eliminate corruption and improve living conditions for the Russian people. The true power, however, is expected to follow ex-President Vladimir Putin to his new role as Prime Minister.

Troops go home

Iraq Close to 3,500 American troops are due to return home over the next few weeks, in an attempt to reduce the number of troops serving in Iraq. The US government plans to go from 170,000 men and women there at present to 140,000 come late July. This figure will mean a similar total force in Iraq as was present before President Bush’s ‘surge’ last year. The planned withdrawal comes amid an increase in the number of attacks over recent weeks, though casualty figures seem to be consistent with official figures.

Fears of Famine

North Korea Severe flooding in 2007 has led to what the Voice of America calls ‘a desperate food shortage’ in North Korea. The UN World Food Programme has calculated a grain deficit of two million tons, predicting that there will not be enough to meet the citizens’ basic needs. The food crisis in North Korea is one of several such incidents being reported this year, with similar food shortages surfacing in Southeast Asia, Africa and Australia

Cyclone Nargis

Burma

What is feared to be the world’s deadliest cyclone since 1991 struck Burma on May 2nd, leaving over 5,000 square kilometres underwater. The exact number of casualties is obviously difficult to confirm, but predictions are currently as high as 50,000. International aid has started coming in, with leaders such as Gordon Brown vowing to make sure ‘food aid is available to the people of Burma’.

Designed by Gilead Amit & Kadhim Shubber 10 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Comment, Opinion Let us know your views: [email protected] Letters may be edited for length and grammar purposes & Letters Views on these pages are not representative of Felix The aftermath of the 25th April In the last issue, Felix reported on the Political Philosophy Society’s (PPS) ‘Criminalising War’ lecture given by Malaysia’s 4th Prime Minister, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad. This week PPS Chairman Ammar Waraich gives his account of the event, its organisation, the College’s restrictions, and the society’s true intentions

here is probably not much loway to Tamimi should be allowed to room for originality now, speak. considering everything We want external guests to be al- that has already been said lowed to attend. If for example in Ox- T on Live!, the Facebook ford, handling speakers is left to the forums and last week’s Felix, so I sup- societies themselves, and their student pose this will very much be a comment debates are open to the general pub- piece from me, in the true sense of the lic, why does it have to be different at term. Imperial, which claims to be equal in all manners to other top international institutions? Disappointment We certainly cannot prevent others from being interested in what the PPS is doing, especially with Facebook as a Let me start with the disappointment I publicity tool, so why must we overly felt. Firstly, from the individuals com- complicate things? menting on Live! who were quite hap- We also want the Union to continue py to hide behind aliases and accuse being supportive of its clubs and socie- the PPS of bias without any evidence; ties and help them reach a resolution Ammar Waraich who went on to somehow infer that in disputes with full involvement in all Chairman this lecture on War was to be some the decision making that affects them. sort of anti-Semitic seminar; and who I think this is a fair request. then went on to hurl border-line rac- We want parties who may have ap- ist accusations at each other, proving prehensions or concerns with our the need for frank dialogue on racial- events to approach us directly to raise religious matters to stop the world be- the matter with us so we can make sure coming even further polarised than it that any concerns are taken on board already is. during the early stages of planning. A few individuals decided to attack This will mean that things are settled We do not me personally, one of them deciding with the Union and College in time for to use my religious beliefs as a justifi- the events. feel we did cation to claim that “it’s time college Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad answering questions from Bangladeshi I think we can safely say that most and the police cracked down on these media after the PPS’ ‘Criminalising War’ lecture on 25th April clubs and societies are behind us in anything wrong people” – and these are the people who these requests as well as Felix and “ accused the PPS of being racist! Live!, so we hope the College will con- by inviting such It is surprising how easily these guys of them had a valid Imperial ID. This is night before, and against your original sider them. forgot our Genocide Awareness Week clearly an over-reaction, and similarly I word, is a very stressful experience and a high-profile where we invited Jewish leaders to dis- cannot see how extending the restric- with repercussions for Imperial’s and cuss the horrors of the Holocaust, and tions to banning recording and pho- the PPS’s reputation, especially con- Closing Comments how we were discourteous to a panel- tography served any useful purpose, sidering that many people had already speaker and our list we had ourselves invited to ensure especially since they were impossible paid for accommodation and travel. that Israel was represented at our Is- to police. I do not think any of these factors I can appreciate why the Jewish Society intentions were rael/Palestine debate. For some, I sup- Finally, I was disappointed at the Ra- were considered by College when they raised their concerns. Their apprehen- pose, no matter what we do will not be madhan Foundation, who admittedly literally forced me to take these steps. sions were fully justified. I can even sincere enough, and maybe that’s just politics. brought us a fantastic speaker, but was And how could they have been, since understand why the College did what Secondly, I felt very disappointed un-cooperative and deceptive. In fact, I was never called to any of the meet- they needed to. At the end of the day, at the Union. In the past, it has been the only one who did not disappoint ings, having to chase developments their job is to protect the reputation very helpful to the PPS; however in was Dr Mahathir himself, and chairing only to be told what the PPS has to do of Imperial and make sure things are this instance I was never made in- the Q&A that night was not only an less than 24 hours before the event. smooth and legal on campus – and ul- ” volved in any of the meetings or the honour but also great fun. I was left on the receiving end of eve- timately the PPS is using College prop- decision-making processes that led the rybody’s criticism and felt that I really erty. Moreover, maybe it is the first College to enforce these restrictions, could not turn to anyone for support time that Imperial has had to deal with even though I explicitly requested to Intentions and that was truly an emotionally and such a situation that other broader- be. Furthermore, according to the Col- mentally exhausting experience. I do discipline universities such as Oxford, Political lege, it was the Union that suggested not think the College considered these Cambridge, LSE and SOAS are very that visitors be limited to IC only and The PPS has been very transparent personal issues at all. familiar with. the College used this to back up their with the Union and College in the past The PPS does not echo the views of Philosophy stance claiming that if the “strongest and also with this event. We do not feel the speakers that attend our events, or supporter of student rights” thought we did anything wrong by inviting such The Way Forward any of their previous comments. We Society so, they thought so too. If this is actu- a high-profile speaker and our inten- are purely about the events and the ally true, this really is a sad revelation. tions were sincere. We were not look- earnest discussion that ensues from it, Thirdly, I felt extremely disappointed ing to cause trouble or upset people, We want to make the PPS a premier which will at some points need thorny at the College’s decision and the man- but were looking to conduct powerful student society in London as we think issues to be tackled. ner in which they enforced it on the discussion on divisive issues. it offers something no other society in We would appreciate support instead PPS. One can perhaps understand the Our intention, certainly with this any other university offers, and in the of resistance. We would appreciate decision to limit the audience to IC event, was to raise Imperial’s profile, as process raise the Union’s profile na- more transparency and involvement students, in the hope that belonging this was Dr Mahathir’s first ever pub- tionally by providing some excellent instead of being treated like children. to IC will stop them from in someway lic address and we wanted IC to be his events. And we would certainly appreciate saying inflammatory things, but then choice of venue rather than the usual So now that all is said and done, trust and assistance. With these req- extending that to VIPs such as MPs, LSE or SOAS, from whom he had also where do we go from here? Well I think uisites being met, I think the PPS can I think the Lords, Professors, heads of prestigious received offers. What we got in return the first step is demanding our right to deliver an amazing and unique expe- NGOs, Dr Mahathir’s elderly wife and was a slap in the face as we were forced hold events without the fear of College rience not only for Imperial students PPS can deliver body guards, etc. was way too much. to essentially insult our invited guest. pressure. but for society as a whole, and in doing It was such an embarrassment to have Being on the receiving end of the We want to have the freedom to in- so we can raise the Imperial name as an amazing to say to these people that they cannot hate and anger of hundreds of students vite who we want as long as it is legal. something above and beyond purely “ enter when they arrived purely because from across the UK is also not a pleas- Most outspoken speakers will have Science. and unique they do not have an Imperial ID! ant experience, nor is being forced to said something that is inappropriate, I had to turn away my own family, juggle your loyalty to Imperial with but where do we draw the line and start Union President, Steve Brown, experience my dear friends and even ex-Union courtesy to your guests. Being handed stifling freedom of speech? As long as will be responding to this article ” President Mustafa Arif because none a decision that you have to enforce the the address is legal, anybody from Gal- in next week’s issue Friday 9 May 2008 felix 11 [email protected] Comment IC students’ views on the elections Boris Johnson’s appointment as Mayor of London has caused quite a stir amongst the student body, but perhaps not quite as much as a BNP member, Richard Barnbrook, winning a seat on the London Assembly You might be blind

his week, London has elected a new mayor. I’ll be honest with you: I don’t like him at all, and I was T much more in favour of Ken. But something rather curious happened during these elections – peo- ple actually voted. A record turnout of around 45% was both unprecedented and unusual. So surely this is a good thing? De- Jaimie Henry mocracy is working, right? It seems to be happening everywhere – even in the recent ICU Sabb elections, normally the hotbed of apathy (if there is such a thing) voter turnout was at a record high. And don’t get me wrong, I’m re- ally happy this has happened. But somewhat paradoxically, this is where we are now left with a prob- lem in the mythical beast that makes up this new and shocking voter turn- out: the “average person.” But surely when it comes to democracy, there is Apparently, telling jokes can get you into the London Mayor’s office no such thing as an average? One man, one vote; voting for one party and one ideal, no? his PR machine. Our average voters keting may be spreading the word of cause or manifesto, and don’t be fooled Well, I suppose so, but take average see this charismatic buffoon, and vote democracy, in much the same way as I by the persona, bumbling or otherwise. as a person on the street with no par- for him for every reason they can think do when I drag people out to vote late Otherwise, extremism is just around ticular political affiliation. This “aver- of except for his manifesto. I’ve heard at night whilst screaming party propa- the corner. age voter” has always had a protective people voice support for him because ganda at them. But I fear people have The BNP mayoral candidate, Rich- Support effect on British democracy. It is this he “jokes,” and these people upon in- started to vote from other people’s sta- ard Barnbrook, now sits on the Lon- mythical being that prevents extremist terrogation have no idea of his policies tuses and flashy application logos. This don Assembly, having gained over 70 someone parties coming to power by flooding or past. Other rationales include seeing is not informed decision making; this 000 votes. This is most likely not be- the system with their supporters and him on TV, or thinking his behaviour is displaying the intellectual rigour and cause we are suddenly becoming very because you outnumbering the relatively centric is hapless and amusing, and would like questioning mind of a farm animal. xenophobic and nationalistic, but be- “ views of the rest of humanity. to see the aftermath of this in office. It had got to the stage where I had to cause this clean-cut character is com- believe in their This is why, despite all the hysterical People apparently voted against Ken pimp my profile with pro-Ken rhetoric paratively personable and not an overt journalistic rhetoric that is inevitable because he has a nasally voice or was just to feel like I was ever going to get racist they have pulled the wool over cause, and don’t with an election, the BNP and other ugly, not because he was a bad mayor. through to people. Why is this differ- people’s eyes. extreme parties generally fail to win In the Union elections, voting for the ent from posters and billboards? Be- I thought it was common knowledge be fooled by the seats, or at least never enough to create fittest girl is certainly not unheard of cause the 20ft head of Boris Johnson the BNP were racist bastards, but ap- anything apart from a passing feeling – good looks do not help you run any on a billboard won’t on its own make parently a change of image does won- persona of disgust in the pit of your stomach. It form of government. Maggie taught us you vote for him, whereas a picture of ders. I sincerely doubt there are 69,000 is the same effect that gives legitimacy that much. your best friend shaking hands with people in this City who would advo- to governments with a large turnout or I know people tend to vote right him on the same billboard might just cate the kind of “behind the camera” may label them both unrepresentative when there’s economic instability, and do the trick. racist violence the BNP advocate, as and radical with the opposite. But it is that people apparently wanted to pun- To top it all off, one of my friends exposed in a recent BBC documentary. at best concerning that in this power- ish Labour over the whole 10p tax fi- supposedly voted for Boris to “cancel This probably happened thanks to a ” ful friend we have created a very dan- asco; tbut Ken could hardly have been out” my vote for Ken. Please listen to public ignorance and a well-oiled PR gerous foe. said to have been a New Labour lap- me very carefully: This is not a game. machine, a la Boris Johnson. What’s Before I go any further, I want to dog. It serves to prove the point that We are not on Have I Got News for more worrying here is that whilst peo- clear up that I know that democracy people either don’t know or care about You. You are playing with the single ple have no idea whether or not Boris is, by definition, the choice to vote for the Mayoral remit if they’re judging most powerful thing you have in your is incompetent, they should know this whichever party you want. If that is the candidates on national issues on which possession, so give it some respect and man is the bedrock of prejudice and Monster Raving Looney Party, then the Mayor has no control. use it wisely. Of course you can vote for discrimination. This is the endpoint of so be it. But we are entering the era of Facebook has a lot to answer for. Un- who you want – and I really want you the slippery slope we are falling down; blind democracy. I might not like Boris, til recently I didn’t think I could add to. Read up on the candidates, support voting for Boris or Ken without know- but I have to admire the brilliance of “voter intimidation” to that. Viral mar- someone because you believe in their ing much about them is one thing, voting for the BNP is quite another. If I have got it all wrong, and people are becoming well-informed BNP sup- porters, then I weep for humanity. I’m not saying you are all average voters; the esteemed readers of this fine publication will no doubt be re- markably well informed. Indeed, stu- dents tend to be among some of the more active and sensible voters. And hopefully this is a minority of voters, albeit growing rather rapidly. But it is your civic duty to inform the ignorant– and goodness knows there are many of I thought it them – about why they should know what they’re voting for, and you are so culpable if you allow this travesty was common to continue under your noses. Please don’t allow this naïvete to continue knowledge the in 2010, when much bigger things are “ at stake. Power and responsibility are BNP were racist indeed inextricably linked. Spiderman bastards may have been an idiot, but his Uncle ” Please think seriously about who you’re voting for in 2010... had a good point. 12 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Comment [email protected] No laughing matter

can’t help but feel that Boris is too easy a target this week – not just in physical terms, in the sense that photos of him cycling I to work look like they’ve been taken from a leaflet raising awareness A. Geek about cruelty to narwhals but also in the sense that, as many of you have been all too quick to remind me this week, he did get elected ‘by democratic process’ and is thus entitled to at least seven days of swearless seething from me. However, the term ‘by democratic process’ tends to conceal all manner of evils nowadays. These evils are largely concerned with America of course, and thus I get to put on a kind of be- mused smile whilst watching it happen much like the rest of the country did last Friday when the election results were announced. However, occasion- ally America’s older brother gets pissed and starts beating his political process Boris Johnson: Joke and inset, Richard Barnbrook: No joke of a wife, and it’s at that point that hu- mour gives way to horror. Somehow, in the clamour and sweaty the truth, there is no quiet revolution. like the idea of Gordon Brown sitting due right, or of representation. There palms of last Friday, five percent of the There is just a political party based in the audience during Newsnight, tap- is only one question – who is voting for Londoners that went out to put a cross around a contorted idea of patriotism, ping responses into his mobile before the British National Party? And why? in a box next to the phrase ‘British Na- and on the other side there is the sane texting them off to the receiver hidden These questions need to be answered tional Party’. The London Assembly portion of the population. That’s the underneath the floppy hair. before the next general election. Be- now bears that terrible phrase on its end of the story. But with Barnbrook, there are no cause the answers are the only way website, when referring to its mem- I like to think that not a single one jokes. We can’t afford to joke about we’ll remove this anomaly from British bers. This means that we, as a City, of you reading this voted for them. it. There’s just a clear dividing line, a Politics. Ironically, it is not immigra- have failed. The thought that someone at Imperial, point where democracy stops becom- tion, nor the EU that makes me feel like I can go on for hours – ask my girl- someone young and passionate about ing important and everything can be I do not own the word ‘British’. It’s the friend – about any topic you like. their future in whatever form, would swept aside in favour of simply saying quasi-racists that grow year on year Throw one at me. I’ll rant for hour af- actually stand up and say they believed no. No debate. No discussion. We don’t that make me feel ashamed to admit to quoting ter hour, plucking out as colourful an in the BNP’s values makes me sick need to ask what merits they have, what my nationality. If you want to reclaim insult as I can at each occasion. I’ll slap thinking about it. And I don’t think part they play in the system. There is this country, then the BNP are the ex- Marcus you around a bit, draw out pie charts enough people are making this clear. no question of democratic process, of tremists that have to go first. representing the distribution of all the Members of the London Assembly Brigstocke here: reasons why your opinion is worthless, have already stated that they will not “ I’ll even cajole you into insulting your- work with Barnbrook, who also gained “the BNP are self if I’m on a particularly good streak. a seat on the Assembly. That’s all well care about the candidates’ policies, It’s great fun, even if a little hypocrisy and good. But unfortunately, in the The BNP and and that was for the well-publicised racist, and if you slips in here or there. interests of fair politics, some people mayoral election. How many had That’s why Boris is a good target. I have chosen to stand up and give the society’s even given a thought to the GLA? vote for them, so re-read my piece from last Autumn same line I was fed about Boris. Barn- Think about it for a moment, how about Boris’ impending election, and I brook was elected democratically. He political apathy many people out there didn’t vote stand by it – the man’s a buffoon, and deserves his chance to represent those for similar reasons? With a turnout are you” the Tories pushed him forward in order that voted for him. of less than 50% I think we can safely to seize control of the mayoral hotseat. Bullshit. There’s a difference between Dear Felix, assume a hell of a lot. However, there’s a distinction between someone like Boris and someone like Now, pretty much anyone that Boris – a walking joke who we can all Barnbrook. Here it is – you can tell a Its 2.30 am on the Sunday after the supports the BNP will have turned chuckle at in publications much like joke about Boris’ party and still laugh elections and I’m still awake, so- out to vote for them. They are good ” this – and Richard Barnbrook, who is afterwards. ber as a judge. Whilst this may not at getting those who agree with them absolutely no laughing matter at all. At See, we can banter about Boris seem surprising during exam sea- to act. But what of all those people all. on these pages, and have a good old son at Imperial, what with all the out there that find the BNP and its Let’s get one thing straight first, and chuckle. I can tell you that the way he’s night owls populating the library policies worrying, offensive and in I feel a certain level of appropriateness been transformed through PR over the at all hours, I’m not awake for revi- some cases even threatening? Many in quoting Marcus Brigstocke here – previous few weeks makes it look like sion. I’m awake because something of them will have voted for a party “the BNP are racist, and if you vote for they’ve fitted some kind of cybernetic has been buzzing around my head they find more palatable in the GLA them, so are you”. There is no middle implant into his head like the one they since I saw the election results for elections, but many won’t have voted ground here, there is no distortion of used to control beetles via remote. I the General London Assembly. The at all. I’m sure some of Felix’s read- British National Party, that cham- ers are amongst them. The question pion of the British right wing, has is do they actively disagree with the won a seat. That means they got over BNP? Did the ones disagreeing with 5% of the London-wide vote. It also them do anything to prevent them means that whilst before I was proud gaining the 5% that won them a seat? of being a Londoner born and bred, I Well done to them if they did, but if am also now a bit embarrassed. they didn’t: well, I can’t force them All the mainstream mayoral can- to vote but I can tell them that they didates wax lyrical about how Lon- worry me almost as much as the don is a diverse, multicultural and BNP do. vibrant city yet the BNP still manage I’m scared by the fact that the apa- to get a seat. How? I suppose it isn’t thy of our society is providing the that important, I accept that we live conditions for what I consider the in a democracy and that they now political face of the National Front have every right to that seat. But I to gain a foothold in London. A foot- have a niggling sense it could have hold that they deserve in democratic With been avoided. terms, but that I cannot believe rep- Many people I spoke to leading up resents their actual London-wide Barnbrook, there to the election told me they were vot- popularity. If it does, my embarrass- ing for Boris because he was a joker, ment at their apparent popularity in are no jokes. a legend, against Ken because they London is justified. If it doesn’t, all I “ didn’t like him as a person. Their can do is hope that next time people We can’t afford choice, they can vote on personal- will do something to stop them…. ity in a political contest if they will. What makes me uncomfortable is Yours, to joke about it. how many told me they weren’t vot- Have Londoners failed as a collective because Richard Barnbrook has ing at all because they didn’t know or Matthew Kaufeler ” been successfully elected to the London Assembly? Friday 9 May 2008 felix 13 [email protected] Comment :- But what comes next?

his week I am writing in garded as dangerous and subversive. the name of the oppressed. Such attitudes have to stop. In a world In the name of those who where emotions are infinitely more are not permitted to con- complex than mere 'happiness', we T vey their message directly, should be allowed to run the full gamut and who rely on people like myself to of these in expressing the way we feel. do it for them. And yet, even in the emotionally I am writing to complain about un- complex world in which we live and fair discrimination which is still om- type, we stereotype and apply the most Gilead Amit nipresent in the workplace. The oft- virulent forms of prejudice to these cir- overlooked emoticon industry still cular faces. What about the 'confused' employs scandalously out-of-date hir- and 'sarcastic' smileys on offer in Win- ing practices, and equal opportunity is dows Messenger? Can anyone honestly an unheard-of concept. claim to know the difference between Recent research indicates that in well them? Of course not – 'if you've seen over 90% of e-mails, text messages and one unconventional yellow face, the facebook correspondences, the clichéd cry goes round, 'you've seen them all'. 'smiley-face' is the preferred emoticon. How eerily familiar that sounds. Surely we can all agree that in today's There are whole neighbourhoods of world, this is outrageous. Usage of the emoticon grid in Windows Mes- emoticons should not be based solely senger that undergo such negative The on looks, but rather on the ability of stereotyping. How about 'that one with the symbol in question to convey the the party hat'? The 'funny one with the emoticon desired emotion. glasses'? The cheap generalizations Do we, in fact, all feel happy all the that follow are no less disconcerting – industry still time, as my research seems to suggest? how easy it is to assume that red faces Just incase you didn’t realise... “ Most certainly not. We are merely are angrier than most, or that green employs trapped in a society where the only faces are more prone to vomiting. We acceptable emoticon to use is the Pac- must grow to be more accepting of riety one gains as a result clearly vali- face'. With time and perseverance, I scandalously man-esque smiley. these new and wonderfully complex dates the extra effort. see no reason to suppose that we will Should one be so forward-thinking individuals, and to find out what they I don't know about you, but I have not one day see the peaceful integra- out-of-date hiring as to provide gainful employment to a truly represent. Sure, they're more dif- hope. Already, people are using the po- tion of these other expressions, making less permanently-cheerful set of punc- ficult to type, and they may be harder litically-correct term 'emoticon', rather our texting and facebooking as vibrant practices” tuation marks, one is immediately re- to find on one's PC, but the infinite va- than the blatantly emotionist 'smiley- and eclectic as our speech. Doom and gloom

an you feel it? No, it’s planet like the living dead, your souls the sledgehammer). A candle in the side pad, company ski trips, gossip at not the love tonight, it’s dwelling in a state of purgatory as you wind? More like a match in a blizzard. the water-cooler, overtime and squash a whole lot worse. You await that envelope – the brown one A springbok who, prancing joyfully with a colleague on Tuesdays. It’s fine got it, enter stage left with the power to cast you back into through the savanna of university life, by me, but don’t come crying in your C ‘impending doom’ – eve- the firey pits of retakes – with nervous suddenly finds his front legs have dis- mid-life crisis. ryone’s favourite incessant, niggling, expectation. appeared mid-jump. Bummer. Should So here are some reassuring facts. soul-muncher. Can you hear it? The Others among you will be mid-way have worn the gum shield. If and when you fail you will not be winds of change? I think not. It is un- through and probably feel guilty that Well, never mind, according to the flattened by a misplaced grand piano mistakably the faint jingle and rustle of you are reading this and not cram- hazy recollection I have of a factoid (probably), neither will your knee-caps Jellybean four horsemen saddling up. Oh, and ming, and some of you will feel them loosely based on almost certain pub be sawn off (I suspect) or your eyes don’t worry, the whole squad will be looming ahead like a giant kid with a truth, beggars in London can make shrivel like raisins (as far as current here. (I heard Flatulence is on stand-by magnifying glass. Your friend from the over 35k a year. So there’s always that studies suggest). Your brain, however, if Pestilence falls well again). We’re for colony (course) beyond the tree stump to fall back on. Oh, but wait – I’m talk- will have turned to mush, but you will it. We are staring down the barrel of yet (upper Dalby Court) just exploded into ing to Imperialites, no consolation for do that voluntarily in two hour stints another term, and this one is well and flames and you know it’s only a matter you. You’ve got to have starting salary with fifteen minute breaks in between truly cocked. Exam timetables are out of time. Save the Queen! of at least 40k (and a 4k golden hello) for a week solid before the exams, so and the female species carefully follow- As for me? I am like a papier-mâché in order to afford that flash car you we shan’t blame the system. You’ll be ing colour-coded revision plans – grim giraffe, my revision a coat of varnish walk past every day. You know, the fine. You’re at Imperial because you advent calendars ominously prefacing and the exams like a ton of bricks. A one that will bring certain happiness, are smart (/are an Oxbridge reject) and their own funerals. (Ironic, isn’t it, that lone terracotta warrior against a very women and speeding tickets. With a you attended most of the lectures, well funeral is an anagram of real fun). angry Scotsman with a sledgeham- First you’re on for a job in that bank, some of them, and you understood the I suppose some of you will have got mer, who was recently cheated on by so you can stay in London and work tutorials, right?... Right? Well… crud. I it all over with already and walk the a Chinese historian (the Scotsman not off your left butt cheek for a Thames- got to cram… Letters to Felix

out over issues you have with the small a group categorised by religion, sexual Tart’ depiction sends up a larger group news around College in the public in- Where is the line number of club regulars who drink at orientation or appearance it would not of identifiable people than the Football terest, however, it is not responsible for the union every week is the impact that make it to print (except scientology Club itself. peoples’ reactions. drawn? such actions have on the other 100+ or gingers cos they're just crazy/fair It is a shame that you feel people au- As for the Comments section’s guide- members of the football team. Why game right)? Where exactly is the line tomatically think you’re a “homophobic lines: ultimately the decision falls to me Dear Felix, should I have to defend myself to the drawn? drunkard”, but I think to some extent whether something is published or not. readers who now see my training top that stems from society’s way of forming I deemed Linnearse’s pieces to be ac- I feel that the response given in this and automatically think homophobic Regards, preconceptions about groups of people ceptable since they are clearly parodies. week’s issue [issue 1,401 – Ed] to the drunkard? I don't even drink. based on the actions of individuals. Religion, sexual orientation and ap- email regarding the football club was As to the acceptability of anonymous Phil Meier English, Argentinian and Italian foot- pearance are (or almost are in the first entirely missing the point. The fact publishing, it is my view that people "spotty yob with three decent A-levels" ball fans garner a reputation of being two cases) inherent characteristics of a that there were no complaints regard- should have the courage of their con- aggressive and violent in the interna- person. Whereas, joining a club is some- ing the previous 'Finance tart' article victions. If you feel that strongly about Dear Phil, tional media, yet those fans are a mi- thing you are responsible for yourself. can be easily explained – finance tart something then maybe you should be nority which give football a bad name We welcome and consider any arti- is an exaggerated fiction and not a real, prepared to face the reactions your Whilst the ‘Finance Tart’ is not a specif- on the whole. Just because documenta- cles sent in on any topic but the deci- identifiable group. The fact that the opinion might bring. I'd also be inter- ic club at Imperial, the article’s inten- ries focussing on violence amongst foot- sion as to what crosses the line remains football club is constantly being sin- ested to know exactly what guidelines tion was to satirise the graduates who ball fans exist, it doesn’t mean I believe with me. gled out among all of the varied groups you follow with regards to the types of leave university to work in the City, of every fan behaves like that. I’m sensible that exist at IC is the issue at hand. opinions you are allowed to publish. which there are plenty at this institu- enough to realise this isn’t the case. Tom Roberts What you fail to realise when you lash Presumably if I wrote a piece criticising tion. I would argue Linnearse’s ‘Finance Similarly, Felix’s duty is to report on Editor-in-Chief unionpage President’s Update Union Colours What do you need to do to be To receive a Union Fellowship award you CAG Chair, Welfare awarded a Colour? need to “have continuously served the Union Campaigns Offi cer and Nominations Open To be awarded Half Colours you need to have in an exceptional manner.” Very few of these Equal Opportunities made a “positive contribution to the general are given out. Offi cer of Imperial What are Colours? life of the Union in an extraordinary fashion.” College Union. You Colours are a type of award that Imperial To be awarded Full Colours you have To receive a Distinguished Fellowship should have also College Union can give to anybody to to “repeatedly, through outstanding you need to have “served the Union in a been contacted by recognise the service, contribution and achievements, over the course of the year, selfl ess and dedicated manner which is both your Faculty Union dedication of someone to the Union. have made a signifi cant contribution to the exceptional and beyond reproach.” Representatives as Stephen Brown life of the Union.” the elections process President There are fi ve types of Colours that are If you don’t know which award to nominate for CGCU, RCSU and [email protected] broadly separated into two groups. The fi rst For an Outstanding Service Award “you someone for then choose the one you feel is ICSMSU positions have three Colours, which are Half Colours, Full will have displayed continuous outstanding appropriate and the Colours Committee will also started although each of these are being Colours and Outstanding Service Awards, achievement across a broad spectrum of change if necessary. run to slightly different timetables. For more are awarded in recognition of one year’s Union activities.” Few of these are given out, information about any of the Imperial College service to the Union. The other two Colours, only fi ve a year at most. How can I nominate someone? Union positions please contact me and for which are Fellowships and Distinguished Nominations are open from Tuesday 6th details of the Faculty Union positions please Fellowships, are awarded in recognition of The Fellowship and Distinguished Fellowship May 2008 to midnight Tuesday 27th May get in touch with the relevant President. many year’s service to the Union. awards are much harder to get as they are 2008 at 12 noon. Nomination forms can be are based on the contribution the awardee downloaded from the website and shoudl be Stand! Who can be nominated for Colours? has made over a length of time. completed and emailed to colours@imperial. Each of these positions are extremely Anybody can be nominated for these awards, ac.uk. important in the running of the Union and except the Union Sabbatical Offi cers and the ensuring it well-represents its members. Felix Editor. You’ll have to give the name of the nominee, By standing you will have a real chance to the award you are nominating them for and be involved with the important decision Who can nominate someone for tell us, in less than 200 words, why you think that are made by the Union. Not to mention Colours? they should get it. Also include your name experience in all these areas shows that extra-curricular involvement that employers Any Imperial student can complete a and CID. are looking for. Again, for more information nomination form, but it’s best not to please to get in contact with me. nominate yourself! What happens then? Your nominations will be considered by the ICU & RCSU Elections Timetable: What happens if you are awarded a Union’s Colours Committee and then the Colours results will be announced towards the end of the term in Felix and successful nominees Nominations open - 5 May 00:00 Being awarded a Colours is a great honour will be given their awards at an Colours Nominations close - 11 May 23:59 and privilege. Those who receive these ceremony in June. Voting starts - 19 May 00:00 awards are presented with an award Voting fi nishes - 22 May 23:59 certifi cate at a ceremony, a tie or pin, and in the case of the higher awards a gift Imperial College Union and Elections for the CGCU and ICSMSU like an engraved tankard or Honorary Life Faculty Union elections elections have been promoted to students membership of the Union. The Union keeps a of the Faculty of Medicine and the Faculty of record of all the people awarded Colours. 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(DJ SET) THE KLAXONS JAMES RIGHTON ZANE LOWE FEARNE COTTON NABOO DJ SET (MIGHTY BOOSH) ANDY C SCRATCH PERVERTS THE MACCABEES (DJ SET) ADVENTURES IN THE BEETROOT FIELD (BANDS) G.Q. REAL HI FIDEL CARTEL PINFOLD GOLD (Line-up subject to change)

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Politics Politics Editors – Li-Teck Lau and Kadhim Shubber [email protected] Why we defend our ‘abusive’ China Kewen Chen invites you to consider the Olympics and the Tibet issue, in a different light

ecent events surround- the western freedom of speech and ac- of anger” by the Tibetans. So of course ing the Olympics and Ti- cess to free media, are still defending we Chinese feel prejudiced against by bet have certainly throw an “oppressive” regime. This is a com- the western media. Sure, Beijing’s re- China into the spotlight. plex issue, and there are many different fusal to allow foreign journalists to R Many issues have been dug reasons. But it ultimately boils down to freely report in Tibet is partly to blame. out and closely examined. Personally a clash of culture and values. But from the way the western media I feel this is a good thing. It facilitates Many western people point out that leaned toward pro-Tibetan protests in the exchange of ideas and helps us to they are not protesting against the Chi- the Torch Relay, Beijing is not going to understand each other’s culture better. nese, merely the Chinese government trust them to report the whole truth. Nonetheless it has highlighted some hosting the Olympics, and cannot un- As for the perceived prejudice by the major difference between a “Chinese derstand why it offends the Chinese majority of westerners against our gov- view” and a “Western view”. so much. If you dig deeper, you will ernment, I understand its cause but I Currently there is a ferocious online find it is impossible to for us to distin- feel frustrated at its outcome. Most of battle going on in various forums. One guish between the two. The host of the the westerners have very strong ethical side is the “Free Tibet” camp, highlight- Games is not actually the Chinese gov- feelings, and I applaud that. But we feel ing not just Tibet but a whole range of ernment but Beijing, a Chinese city. that various NGOs over-exploited this issues involving China such as human Thus, in our eyes, hosting the Games to their advantage. Is the Chinese gov- rights; on the other side is the “Tibet does not symbolise the achievement of ernment really the sort of “Nazi”-style is always part of China” camp, made the government, but rather that of the oppressor that many NGOs portray it up mainly of those of Chinese origin. Chinese people. To deny us this privi- to be? I would like to point out that al- Both sides have thrown up pretty good lege is to deny the achievement of our though these NGOs exist to promote rational arguments (amid even more culture and of our people. If you break noble causes, they are not going to irrational and emotional outcries). It achieve their goal by highlighting the would be too long and too difficult to progresses in China. They grab the at- go through them, besides, my good “NGOs should tention of the public by sensationalis- friend Kadhim has already done a ing the issue, highlighting only part pretty good analysis on the Tibet issue. retune their of the whole story, taking facts out of What I am going to do instead is to ex- context or sometimes distorting dis- plain the way we Chinese think about image to puted facts, anything just short of out- this whole thing and also highlight right lying really. some key differences between western broaden their As for the Chinese media, many and Chinese point of view. westerners merely dismiss it as propa- On Tibet, there are huge gaps be- appeal” ganda. This is only partly true. The tween the two camps at the moment. state-controlled media is heavily cen- “Free Tibet” camps accuse the Chinese into a wedding and accuse the bride- sored, but there are many regional me- of being brainwashed by Communist groom of murder, you should not ex- dia groups that offer robust opinions. propaganda and choosing to ignore the pect gratitude from the guests. An example would be the Southern issues in Tibet; in return, the activists The perceived “biased reporting” Metropolis Daily editor Chang Ping’s are being accused of ignorance of the from the western media and from pro- essay of 3 April, “How To Find The history between China and Tibet (thus Tibetan camps does not help to dispel Truth About Lhаsa,” in which he cri- the overly abused question used “Do this illusion either. I am not expert tised the governments’ decision to not you even know where Tibet is?”). This enough to comment on the factual allow free coverage of Tibet riots. (As only shows the clear prejudices each truth of the media reporting. However, far as I know he is still the editor of the side has against the other. Although a I think all media consider the taste of said paper). This stirred a fierce debate lot of the activists are being emotional their audience base and they use sen- in China, with pro- and anti-media- The Olympic torch has been greeted with celebrations in China or just “jumping on the bandwagon”, sational headlines to grab the attention control camps battling it out in vari- many activists have actually been to of its readership. Really, no-one wants ous media outlets. Clearly it is not true Tibet and China and are pretty well to hear dull stories about a bunch of that there is zero free speech in China, noble causes really be furthered by ag- by over-exploiting this “all-stick-and- informed on the issue. Equally, not all Chinese flag-waving enthusiasts wel- it is just our atitude towards true free gressive protests in a country outside no-carrots” tactic, we are all led to feel Chinese are brainwashed. Overseas coming the Olympic Torch. Thus, in speech is different. China, or does the more subtle “quiet- that the western NGOs are against Chinese have unrestricted access to the cases where pro-China and pro- I don’t deny that China has got tons diplomacy” work better? progress in China in general. Maybe BBC, CNN, various Hong Kong, Sin- Tibetan supporters are numerically of human rights issues, but to what ex- As a result, most Chinese feel deeply NGOs should retune their image to gapore and Taiwan media, even net equal, pro-Tibetan protesters would of tent have the actions of these NGOs suspicious of these NGOs; they have broaden their appeals? users in China regularly use foreign course get a bigger slice of the media changed the situation in China? With not earned our respect. On the con- On the other hand, we do feel that proxy servers to circumvent the Chi- pie. the political situation in China, are trary, their actions have forced us to the Chinese government has made nese government’s online filter and In the same way, the media concen- these NGO protests really in the best re-assess our loyalties and in most vast progress in recent years. In pov- thus gain full access to foreign media. trated on the “massive military pres- interest of the common Chinese and cases re-align ourselves with our gov- erty reduction, hundreds of millions of Hence many people are puzzled as to ence” in the Lhasa riots, while the Han Tibetan people, or do they just protest ernment. I don’t like to say I agree with people are being lifted out of poverty why overseas Chinese, having enjoyed Chinese murdered are merely “displays to make themselves feel good? Can Beijing’s policies, because I don’t. But due to the economic boom. In environ-

The Olympic Stadium in Beijing, often referred to as the ‘Birds Nest’. The Chinese people are deeply proud of their cities success in holding the 2008 Olympics Friday 9 May 2008 felix 17 [email protected] Politics ment, although the question of imple- we shouldn’t meddle in other people’s rent government, for the first time in mentation remains, Beijing has passed business, and we expect the others to over a century China is strong, stable aggressive environmental legislations, treat us the same. Many of you say that and united, under no threat of civil war recently upgrading the environment Tibet is not a Chinese domestic issue. while building a thriving economy. We bureau into a full ministry. In the me- Maybe it is or maybe it is not. The im- may not have freedom of speech, but dia, despite intermittent periods of portant thing is we are deeply suspi- we do treasure the most fundamental tightening control, there is the unde- cious of the western countries’ motiva- human right – the right to live in peace niable trend that the press is gradually tion in getting involved. This suspicion without the fear of turmoil. In a world freed up. Although the media indus- is deeply branded into our psyche, where the majority of the people live try is still self-censored, many private because our relationship with the west in poverty, in fear or in war, we Chi- media enterprise are now competing has not always been one of friendship. nese people don’t for on second take directly with state-owned ones. More- China used to be a great power; its de- it for granted. This is why we support over, the BBC website and Wikipedia cline in global status was worsened by a strong government while subcon- are now unblocked in China ahead of western imperialism and colonialism. sciously we question the motivation the Games (amid the Tibetan riots), so The looting and burning of our prized behind the West’s “request” to improve readers in China have no problem of Imperial Old Summer Palace by Brit- China’s human rights. getting a more balanced view. Further- ain and France, the sacking of Peking Of course we want our government more, China’s hosting the Games is re- (Beijing) by the western Eight Nations to be more transparent and we want ally a positive influence on its leaders. Alliance is still taught in our textbooks more rights, but we also believe in pa- The unreasonable demand to boycott and remembered as the symbol of tience. We believe in constructive criti- The mascots of the Beijing Olympics. Look - there’s a panda! it, would only isolate the regime, deep- the humiliation China suffered at the cism and gradual changes. I believe ul- en Beijing’s suspicion of the west and hands of the West. timately all people in China will have give the right-wing hardliners reasons I disagree with the people who dwell more freedom, much more freedom. say this is not about China but about tion remains, how to get the best out to implement tighter control. on the past to justify their blind na- I accept other people have different Tibet. I say, considering the political of the current situation. I suggest you The vast cultural differences are also tionalism. But in their shoes, you can opinions, but we all want the best for reality in China, and the positions of read Kadhim’s article carefully and a major reason in our different ways see why they drift so easily into an China, just in different ways. those involved, Tibetan independence then form your own opinion as to how of thinking. We Chinese believe that ultra-nationalist mood. Under the cur- On a final note, most of you would is not a realisable solution. The ques- best to go forward. Mixing Politics and the Olympics Carlos Joaquin Karingal discusses whether the Olympics should serve as a political platform

espite having attended Beijing’s bid to host the Games simply the recent protests in due to their political stances means London along the route violating the Charter. of the Olympic Torch Indeed, it is stated clearly in the Ol- D Relay, remembering the ympic Charter that “no kind of dem- expressions on the faces of some of the onstration or religious or racial propa- people on those vans and buses as they ganda is permitted in any Olympic were booed and jeered has made me sites,” which, one could argue, should think twice about what I did. Seeing eliminate any opportunity for the po- people hired solely to drive buses, co- liticisation of the Olympic Games. ordinate the procession, or even simply However, governments in the past to dance in short shorts on the back of have made huge political statements a van shrink back as protesters chanted while still abiding by this rule. “shame on you” and threw two-fingered Starting with the Melbourne Games salutes at them aroused thoughts as to of 1956, when seven nations refused whether politics are really relevant in to attend because of the Suez Crisis, a global gathering meant to celebrate the Soviet invasion of Hungary, and human achievement through sport. Taiwan’s participation under the name Indeed, the goal of Olympism, ac- of Formosa. Of course, it was this cording to the Olympic Charter, the year’s host nation that was protesting governing document of the Interna- the third. China boycotted the Olym- tional Olympic Committee (IOC) is pics again in 1980, when 62 countries “to place sport at the service of the joined the USA in expressing their harmonious development of man, with disapproval of the host nation’s – the a view to promoting a peaceful soci- USSR’s – invasion of Afghanistan. ety concerned with the preservation of Quite ironically, despite its record of human dignity.” Thus, it seems ironic political activism in the games of the The banners used by pro-Tibetan protestors mix secessionist politics and human rights issues that Beijing was chosen as the host past, the People’s Republic has recently city of the Games of the XXIX Olym- been one of the strongest advocates for piad, it being the capital of a country a completely neutral Olympics. Their Rama Yad,e was reported to have laid with such a questionable human rights on the fact that simply more people are renowned for human rights abuses, Foreign Ministry spokesperson, Jiang down the conditions of Sarkozy’s at- record should not be allowed to host an interested in the Olympic Games than not only in Tibet, but in the Xingjiang Yu, remarked that any group wanting tendance: “an end to violence against event seen as a celebration of “human a state visit, so the media surrounding Uyghur Autonomous Region, home to to “take the world people’s grand event the population and the release of po- dignity”, to quote the Olympic Char- the relay gave activists a perfect plat- almost 9 million Muslim Uyghurs, as as a stage for a political show, [has] litical prisoners, light to be shed on the ter. In addition, their chants of “China, form from which to make their voices well as for its support of other auto- found a wrong place, and will only ask events in Tibet and the opening of dia- China, China! Out! Out! Out!” and “Hu- heard. cratic regimes, such as that of Burma, for insult.” logue with the Dalai Lama”. Further- man rights in Tibet!” showed that they So the people on the streets, voicing where the recent Saffron Revolution more, the Japanese Royal Family has were also protesting simply for Tibetan their anger over China’s policies are was denounced by the Chinese press, decided not to attend, citing not only independence, which has been an is- not without reason, but while I am glad and that of Zimbabwe, of which China “The Dalai Lama Tibetan unrest, but also a dispute over sue on people’s minds since the 1950’s I took a stand for the rights of people is the largest arms supplier. gas fields claimed by both countries, at least, well before Beijing submitted in need of help, I regret booing and Despite Chin’as immaculate human has consistently and the poisoning of 10 Japanese by its bid to become an Olympic host city. making less-than-savoury gestures at rights record, when the IOC met in dumplings imported from China. Thus, the protesters simply seized the the dancers and the bus drivers. Sure, Moscow in 2001 to choose a host city been against any The Dalai Lama, however, has con- opportunity to make themselves heard I disagree with the way China has for 2008, the IOC Evaluation Commis- sistently been against any boycott, at a time when all eyes were on them, handled Tibet and Burma, and I ve- sion wrote in their report for the com- boycott” declaring his stance on NBC Nightly which they have done many times in hemently oppose their oppression of mittee delegates that when choosing a News in April, saying that any politi- the past. When former Chinese Presi- the Falun Gong, and I would take any host city “it is impossible to ignore the Nevertheless, some world leaders cians’ attendance of the opening cer- dent Jiang Zemin visited London in opportunity to let people know, but I debate on political issues, such as hu- have declined their invitation to at- emony is “up to them”. He has also said 1999, pro-Tibetan protesters gathered don’t think that the man driving the man rights”, but that it would “not deal tend the opening ceremony in August, that he believes that China “deserve[s] outside Buckingham Palace, where van should be punished for it.These with this issue other than to acknowl- including Gordon Brown, the UN Sec- to host the famous games, as it is the Jiang was having a state banquet with are all political issues, and the Olym- edge the existence of the debate and its retary General Ban Ki-Moon, Prince most populous nation of the world”, the Queen. Similar demonstrations oc- pics are about sport. It has been said continuation”. Charles, and German Chancellor An- ending any doubt as to whether Tibet- curred in 2004 around Downing Street that the Ancient Greeks put their dif- Furthermore, in the Olympic Char- gela Merkel; but many of them told the ans that view the Dalai Lama as their while the Chinese Premier, Wen Jiabao, ferences aside in times of war to com- ter, it is written that “any form of dis- press that they had never intended to political leader should support the met with Tony Blair. Past incidents, pete in the Olympics. Whether or not crimination with regard to a country go in the first place. French President IOC’s decision to host the Games in however, seem not to have exceeded that is true, I think it is an admirable or person on grounds of race, religion, Nicolas Sarkozy, however, has neither Beijing. those surrounding this year’s torch re- example, and should be emulated. Let politics, gender or otherwise in incom- confirmed nor declined his place at the Nevertheless, many people have pro- lay, where we saw about 2500 people the athletes compete, and the Chinese patible with belonging to the Olympic opening ceremony, but the country’s tested against China, questioning the gather for the cause in London alone, celebrate the Games. After August we Movement”, meaning that ignoring Secretary of State for Human Rights, IOC’s choice on the idea that a country showing that the protesters capitalised can talk. 18 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Science Science Editor – Ed Henley [email protected] Science Challenge: The excerpts Last term's Science Challenge finale was a great success, with some high-calibre essays winning well- deserved prizes. The full essays are available at www.rcsu.org.uk/sciencechallenge, but we thought you'd like a taster. Meanwhile, in the lower left, Andrew Somerville gives you his impressions of the evening

n the final Tuesday of the spring term, the Science Museum's Imax cinema was Should healthy people take drugs to enhance O almost filled to capac- ity with students, guests and the distinguished panel of judges as the finalists of this year's (formerly RCSU) their cognitive abilities? gnoring the legalities—methylphe- Science Challenge gave presentations Inidate is a Class B drug—if you can on their essays. The Science Challenge t is clear that the way we choose get them, the scientific data suggest that cogs [cognitive enhancing drugs] is rapidly becoming one of Imperial's r Nakasone indulges in rather to enhance ourselves matters. Few flagship annual events (being born Ipeople would object to parents are efficacious. In recent tests, meth- too many espressos to propel ylphenidate improved spatial working only three years ago) as exemplified Dhim through the day. The active giving their children fish-liver oil. Yet memory and planning in fatigued, but this year by the huge sponsorship by ingredient, caffeine, acts on the same a recent study of school children with otherwise healthy, people , although Shell, high-profile judges and fantastic dopamine system as methylphenidate certain learning disorders has shown there are some indications that the location in the Science Museum. [Ritalin] to increase wakefulness, and that omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids increase in speed causes a greater This year saw over 360 entries from has gained widespread popularity (found in fish oil) are as effective as number of errors. Similar research with both IC students and school and col- and acceptance worldwide. To- Ritalin for improving reading, spelling modafinil has also found improved lege students across the country in day, coffee is second only to and behaviour. Other ways of improv- cognitive ability. The results are not the two competitions. The IC prize petroleum in world trade. So, ing cognitive function include regular universally positive—some tests have having taken a step in the di- went to , on the essay title exercise, memory training courses shown no significant improvement Erika Cule rection of cognitive enhance- compared to placebo —but the bal- "How would knowledge of my genetic ment, would Dr Nakasone and regular sleep. Again, the neu- makeup affect my lifestyle?" – the rological mechanisms for these ance of evidence seems to suggest that ever take drugs other than these drugs can improve performance question set by our own Rector, Sir caffeine to improve his cogni- improvements are not understood. in at least some aspects. Richard Sykes. The Schools prize went tive skills? But there remains an ethical dif- Safety, however, is a more conten- to Hassan Al Halwachi of Sherborne He has some concerns. Cogni- ference between enhancing oneself tious matter. In particular, the discus- School on the topic of "To what extent tive enhancing drugs provide meagre through these conventional means sion must be mediated by the fact that is geo-engineering the solution to the benefits to healthy people, yet they and taking cognitive enhancing drugs. the pharmaceutical industry, as it cur- climate change problem?" set by Sir have marked short-term side effects, Why is that? rently operates, focuses exclusively Brian Hoskins. and the long term effects are largely Perhaps our unease about on sick people, since historically this unknown. In particular, no studies Following the presentations and cognitive enhancement has been the group of people most have assessed what happens when peo- interested in medication. The inevi- speeches from the winners, the Rec- ple stop taking the drugs. As he makes drugs has to do with the tor, and Science Challenge committee way we see ourselves. table consequence of this is that it himself yet another espresso to stave is very difficult to assess safety for chair, Daniel Burrows, the crowd ad- off his tiredness, he is reminded of the There is a strong con- healthy individuals. journed to the main Science Museum time when a single one would have kept nection between brain All drugs, without exception, pro- hall for the other main attraction: him awake for hours on end. Could and mind, and between duce side effects—common side ef- the after-party. The event was lively, the same tolerance develop in people mind and self. Serious fects experienced with Ritalin include many students taking advantage of the taking drugs to improve their cogni- ethical problems arise insomnia, headaches, and gastrointes- opportunity to rub shouilders with tive function? He also has reservations when we reduce our consciousness to tinal symptoms —but these are consid- about the social impact of these drugs. the distinguished guests panellists a series of chemical reactions that we ered against the alternative course of Could they widen the divide between action: to not medicate the patient at such as Sir Robert Winston, and avail those that can afford them and those can influence directly. themselves of the open bar. Genetic engineers struggle with all. Therefore, when a drug is licensed that cannot? In fact, for the treatment of a given condition, "I'm very pleased", said Daniel these drugs appear to many similar ethical questions related it has been determined that in most in- Burrows, "We set out to get beyond work best on those to the implications of modifying the stances the benefit to the patient will a science essay, and look beyond with poorer cogni- essence of self. Some are starting to outweigh the impact of the adverse ef- the statistics... the communication tive abilities, which address this issue using complexity fects. The aim is to return the patient is empty without the science, but are likely to be those theory, in which it is asserted that to as close to ‘normal functioning’ as the science is useless without good without the benefit we are more than just the sum of possible. So if the side effects take the communication." of a good education. our parts. Consciousness is similarly patient further from this goal than Ironically, education it- As one of the finalists, IC PhD a subtle and complex phenomenon the benefits take them towards it, the self is considered the safest drug is not helpful. Drugs for healthy student Anna Gustavssen, put it: and most effective form of cogni- that may also need to be treated from "The purpose of publicly funded a non-reductionist point of view. Per- people, however, have a much more tive enhancement. nebulous target. What is ‘better than science is not for the self-realisation With all this in mind, Dr Nakasone haps the real underlying question is normal functioning’? Are any adverse of scientists, but for them to commu- chooses to stick to his coffee. In fact, how these cognitive drugs affect the side effects acceptable when medicat- nicate scientific discovery back to the he might consider switching to decaf. overall pattern of our consciousness – ing healthy people? public." By those criteria, the Science and whether this change is desirable. Leili Farzaneh Challenge has a valuable role to play Andrew Turley in the future of science at IC. Anna Gustavsson

1. Leili Farzaneh points out that cognitive enhancing drugs are already used by students 1 and pilots 2 2. Dan Burrows: science proselytizer extraordinaire. Ably aided and abetted by many others on the Science Challenge team – all credit to them

3. Erika Cule won the Imperial competition. She's asked us not to print any of hers, as she's submitting it for some other competitions, but you can see it with all the others on the Science Challenge website

4. The Science Museum – what a great location for an afterparty!

5. Ali Tasleem takes the audience through the ins and outs of geoengineering

All photographs by Chris Chan Friday 9 May 2008 felix 19 [email protected] Science How would knowledge of my genetic makeup 3 affect my lifestyle?

hilst genes do play a funda- mental role in character, it Whas been shown that envi- ronment – particularly during devel- opmental stages – is often far more significant. For instance it has been shown that children with a mutated (under-repeat- ed) promoter region of the monoamine oxidase A (MAOA) gene are far more likely than average to commit acts of violence, but only if they are abused while young.2 Therefore it would be unethical to criminally penalise or counsel an individual merely on the basis that they carried this mutation. A ‘bad’ genotype therefore is not a sentence; it also requires a bad envi- ronment to create an undesirable phe- nome. Yet just one little diagnostic test, of the promoter length in this one gene, could allow a physician to predict, with some confidence, whether one is likely to be antisocial or probably criminal.

4 James Stillit & Sascha Alles

5

ome geo-engineering techniques is claimed to be a safe manageable op- attack the root of the problem, tion, the long term effects of the proc- To what extent is geoengineering Scarbon dioxide, head on. Artificial ess are unknown. trees which, like real trees, can absorb Sequestration; storing carbon diox- carbon dioxide from the atmosphere ide in solid minerals, is a similar meth- the solution to the climate change are an option. A solution of sodium od. For example, serpentine is a type hydroxide flows through the trees and of rock found in quantities sufficient absorbs carbon dioxide forming so- to store the carbon dioxide produced problem? dium carbonate. However, in order to by the world’s entire known fossil fuel release carbon dioxide, the carbonate reserves. The absorption of the gas by must be heated, which, unless a green the rock yields magnesite, which can ould geoengineering - altering by a sizeable 0.6°C. The major setback energy source is used, would undo the be used in bricks. The energy needed global climate using technology of this strategy: the simultaneous part- effort made to collect the gas in the to process and transport the rocks, C- be the “magic bullet” to cure destruction of the ozone. first place. Storing the gas is another however, could take us back to square Earth’s rising fever? [Another idea is] fertilising the problem. Although injecting the gas one. [One] idea is to fire hundreds of Earth’s oceans with iron to increase into some geological formations, like rockets loaded with compressed sul- phytoplankton activity, thus raising saline aquifers and depleted oil fields, Hassan Al Halwachi phur dioxide into the stratosphere to their “carbon sink” capacity. In the lat- create a vast but thin “sulphur sun- ter, trials by SOFeX scientists in the screen”, which would behave like a sun- Southern Ocean have been successful tan lotion for our planet, increasing its in initiating massive phytoplankton albedo, or reflectivity. Such an idea may blooms which acted as an effective car- chime of the same bells as a big budget bon reservoir and boosted ecosystems. science fiction film, but let us not be so Global warming and the fishing crisis dismissive. The famous volcanic erup- solved in one fell swoop? [...] tion of Mount Pinatubo in 1991 pro- Cynics may recoil at the astronomi- vides evidence for this proposal which cal expense of a sulphur Sun shield is the brainchild of Professor Paul or gigantic orbiting parasol, and most Crutzen, Nobel Prize winner in 1995 advocates of geoengineering schemes for his work on the ozone layer. Twen- would concede that they might not ty million tonnes of sulphur dioxide represent the complete answer- but were thrust 20km into the atmosphere they could bide us the time needed to where the particulates remained as a heal our planet, whatever the cost. thin veil for years, spreading around the Earth to lower global temperatures Ali Tasleem The Bahraini press noted Hassan's success in the School's competition 20 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Culture & Arts Editors – Rosie Grayburn, Caz Knight, David Paw and Emily Wilson Budding culture vulture? Write for us. The Arts [email protected] Juan Munoz rocks the Tate Shahania Begum explores one artist’s intriguing perspective at the South Bank

o be honest, before I went figures under a peaked roof. This piece around as if they were locked in con- the viewer look upwards to look at his to view this exhibition, suggested the feeling of entrapment versation. However, the bodies hold work. In this case it was to look at The David Paw I was quite unfamiliar for women, perhaps being in a male- such varied postures and gesticula- Rotating Hanging figures (1997). In my Arts Editor with the work of Spanish dominated environment. Hmm… tions that you can't quite believe the view this was a cross between a hor- T sculptor Juan Muñoz. All seems somewhat familiar. I wonder if heads are all identical. Also, none of ror freak show and a circus act which love summer. In our wonderful I knew was that he was renowned for Muñoz visited Imperial College during the figures have feet: they stand on the shows two acrobats hanging by their little town, we need little more sculptural works in which he situates his time in London. floor cut off at their trouser bottoms. teeth dangling like a pair of seals with than a partial break in the clouds the human figure within elaborate or The Wasteland (1987) was Muñoz’s It’s like the ‘living statues’ you encoun- their legs kicked back in the air. to run outside and work on le complex architectural settings. I was first large-scale exhibit, inspired by the ter in Covent Garden: are they real or Muñoz and metaphorical side with I tan. And then it starts pissing it curious as to what else would be on poem of the same name by T.S Eliot. are they not? It’s interesting having pieces such as a drum made of wax down and everyone runs back inside. offer at the first major retrospective The Wasteland is a very dramatic com- walked into the room, but you feel like with a pair of scissors stabbed through Will we ever learn? Probably not. How- of Muñoz’s work in the UK and how I position of a statue and space which you are surrounded by people laugh- it representing a burst ear drum. There ever, every angry-looking rain-laden as the viewer would engage with these influenced David Lynch’s Twin Peaks. ing and engaged in silent conversation. were also some less thought-provoking cloud has a creative silver lining. So choreographed exhibitions. As you enter the room, at the far side is The scale of the work is astounding works such as his 40 Raincoat draw- when park / beer garden fatigue sets in, Muñoz’s was born in Madrid in 1953. a small bronze figure, sitting tight on a and outnumbers the viewer, making ings, which were basically different take advantage of the elating cool and Having worked as a curator and studied little iron shelf sticking out of the wall you feel strange and isolated among perspective chalk drawings of the inte- stillness of pretty much every major in London and New York he also exhib- too high for his dangling feet to touch them, almost as if you have become the rior of his house as his mother had an gallery in town, ited his own works – which were prin- the ground. But between you and him, exhibit on display. affinity for feng shui. While everyone else is sweltering cipally sculptures. Having also been an the patterned floor is an image com- Other pieces such as Shadow and There were also the Crossroads cabi- and pretending to be fabulous and not accomplished writer and draughtsman, posed solely of interlocking cubes. You mouth (1996) created a sinister atmos- nets (1999) which from a great dis- on the verge of heatstroke, you can in- it may have been his storytelling ability feel inclined to walk across this disori- phere, almost like an interrogation tance look like dazzling glass trophy dulge in having a gallery all to yourself combined with his fascination with the entating surface rather uncertainly. In scene out of a Film Noir with one fig- showcases which you’d love to have in and not have it interrupted by scream- way that the viewer encounters a work the process you yourself become an in- ure sitting in front of a table and anoth- your living room until you realize they ing kids, people parking in front of pic- of art which brought about his interna- voluntary performer in the work. You er against the wall. The mouth of the contains disparate objects and freaks tures and blocking your view, poseurs tional prominence in the mid-1980s. don't know whether to view the frozen shadow moves slowly and discretely. It of nature such as switch-blade knives, and irritable boyfriends who would His early work included iron welded little man, with his feet in the air, as the is almost as if the figure is whispering miniature doors, locks and miniature rather be somewhere else. spiral staircases starting and leading prisoner of this room, or its master. It all his secrets to the wall. The Dwarf casts of resin body parts. Of course, you might want to head to nowhere, and incongruous balco- could even be a spell he has cast on the and three columns (1988) is exactly Overall through the highly consid- out as soon as you can. Unfortunately, nies attached to a blank wall which space around him which you may cross what the title states, three large column ered placement of the figures, Muñoz Munoz’s display at the Tate has just encourages the viewers to be the vo- at your own peril. towers made of terracota arranged in a entices the viewer into an engagement ended, but you can still catch Peter yeurs, imagining themselves watch- By far the best exhibit was Many square, but with the fourth column be- with the implied narrative unravelling Doig, Duchamp and Man Ray there. ing people from the balcony, as well as times (1999) which is a room full of a ing replaced by a dwarf. Here Muñoz within. Muñoz used tricks of perspec- And if you haven’t been over to the being watched. One of his early works hundred slightly under life-size grin- is using the human form as an archi- tive and scale to create a tension be- Shad Thames to check out the little includes a piece called If only she knew ning bald Chinese figures, all with the tectual element as well, perhaps mak- tween the illusory and the real. In ret- nook of town by the Design Museum, (1984) an iron house-like structure re- same head and facial expression. The ing a statement about how you can be rospect it was stimulating and Muñoz’s don’t hesitate to go as soon as you can. strained by skinny supports, contain- head was derived from a Belgian art overwhelmed by society making you tricks of scale and perspective really Richard Rogers really is one of our ing a single female carved stone figure nouveau bust. Muñoz choreographed feel diminutive at times. choreographed my experience as a national treasures. Technically marvel- surrounded by several wooden male single and multiple groups standing Apparently Muñoz liked making viewer. lous, recognisable and incredibly well- designed, he makes a fine British pair- ing to his more showy contemporary Sir Norman Foster. However, I would disagree with Caz on the aesthetics front, though I can see her point on the more organic and naturalistic aspects of design. Sadly, not everyone is inclined to discuss the aesthetics and direction of art and design as a discipline; the people comissioning and working in such buildings will probably not care. Specifications? Cold. Sleek. Something to make the rivals jealous. Which is probably why so many artists have a collective income equivalent to one NHS consultant. Which is the extraordinary thing about architecture. Though perhaps not guaranteed to land one in the meg- abucks, as Caz stated in her piece a discipline melding aspects of creativity with science can be immensely appeal- ing. And when the element of public service comes into it, it can be alto- gether more satisfying. It seems to be unique in that sense in straddling the divide between creative and scientific. How many other main- stream disciplines can truly claim that? Of course, not everyone is inclined to both camps, which explains the ex- istence of science meccas like M.I.T, Caltech and, yes, Imperial. Also, don’t forget to check out the new issue of Phoenix out in the next few weeks. We’ve been working hard on it and we hope you pick up a copy to read in the quad on a sunny day. We’ll be releasing not one but two issues this term, so check for us in the last week of term two? Sadly, that means more work for your poor old editor. Summer? What summer? The crowd got a good laugh out of David James’ “performance” for Portsmouth Friday 9 May 2008 felix 21 [email protected] Arts London, Barajas and Ground Zero Sir Richard Rogers and his team of architects are some of the finest international exports Britain has produced in the last half-century. We sent Caz Knight to the Shad Thames to find out why

itherto, unchartered territory for me. And so I arrived at the De- sign Museum many H boroughs away from my SW bubble in the orient; that is, in Shad Thames. The Design Museum resides in the shadow of Tower Bridge and is in one of the most pleasant and well-situated locations for a museum. The Design museum is nestled among winding cobbled streets right on the South Bank and sits quietly along the river next to an inviting collection of bistros and bars. I had little idea of what to expect from either the museum or the new exhibition, “Richard Rogers and Ar- chitects: From the House to the City”, but upon entering the museum I did feel as if I epitomised the more adult equivalent of “child in a sweet shop/toy store”! The museum certainly looks as if Apple lent a hand with the decor: uncluttered, white-walled, minimal, airy and with just the right amount of bright neon colour splashed about the place. Upon entering the exhibition, my awe only deepened as I beheld an immaculately laid-out presentation of the life work of Richard Rogers (and Architects). One of the leading names in archi- tecture, Richard Rogers is of both Ital- ian and English extraction and began his career working on a private house in Cornwall, a far cry from the inter- national creations he now has in his repertoire. Moving onto the Pompidou build- ing in Paris in the late seventies, he has since worked on projects all over the globe including my favourite, Barajas terminal building in Madrid (a serpen- tine, undulating building, the inside resembling a remnant vertebrae of an ancient stegosaurus), housing in Korea (which look curiously like a Jenga game made out of white Rubik’s cubes), sta- diums in Japan, the Millennium Dome (on time and on budget – is this a first in British history?), the South Bank centre, Heathrow terminal five as well as the work in progress on Ground Zero. Rogers’ work at Ground Zero is one of five new towers to be built at the site, and not to be confused with Dan- iel Libeskind’s monumental Freedom Tower. Rogers’ main focus is the proc- ess of construction, and how it fits in with people and the buildings’ social context. This was extremely clear as I worked my way around the seven themed areas of the exhibition: Work in Progress, Transparent, Systems, Leg- ible, Lightweight, Green, Urban. Each Top: Rogers’ gorgeously structured and curvaceous design for Barajas airport and Bottom: The epically industrial Lloyd’s building in the City section is beautifully colour coded and prevents people with pitiful knowledge of design and architecture feeling clue- ware. (PC’s have so much to learn!) agreeable to live in cute Cotswolds cot- wonder if Rogers knew just how much ered it was the amalgamation of sci- less and baffled. What the exhibition is As I meandered my way through each tages, a decline in economy and infra- intense activity (i.e. pandemonium/ ence and art which drove his passion comprised of is just that: the life work “theme” I became evermore confused structure is not an option. chaos/Bedlam) would ensue following for his chosen discipline. of this indispensable architect. about my feelings towards these con- However, Rogers is extremely aware its opening and just how many bags If I were Rogers, I would feel an in- It has amazingly constructed mini- structions. This is a man who has an of the environmental effect of build- were lost and flights cancelled. Obvi- tense sense of pride in seeing how recreations of the buildings, photo- invaluable talent and is abundant in his ings. In his project (in conjunction ously his roof was not enough to pre- much I had achieved in the way of graphs and the final products and the professionalism and ability to conjure with Imperial College, no less) he has vent Heathrow doing exactly what we how important my projects are and in works in progress, blueprints as well up buildings that are extremely effi- designed a turbine tower in which the expected. how beneficial they are. No whimsi- as concise articles on the background cient and beneficial to society through environment has been used as an ar- The room in which the exhibition cal, pointless structures deposited un- behind each creation. I marveled at the their function. chitectural generator. In many of his is housed is relatively small compared imaginatively in a town square to tick tiny, silver trees that accessorised the However, they all seemed to be made building the use of glass has minimised with other museums, although one can the box of ‘art/culture’, nor hoards of model buildings, and the red Perspex of glass and metal, not pleasing to the the amount of energy needed to heat easily spend over an hour and a half houses to satisfy the wealthy (although toilet and sinks in another, all complete eye in any way. I yearned to see some- the building in winter, as well as the en- working one’s way around it. For those he has designed two). Richard Rogers with appropriately proportioned mod- thing that reminded me that we live in ergy needed to cool it in summer. who falter, there are some deliciously is indeed a blessing to architecture el people. All the information is dis- a world made of wood, grass and stone. Of Heathrow Terminal 5 is written, coloured neon pink sofas with maga- though he may be a curse to aesthetics. played attractively on large Apple Mac Alas, I must accept that, although frus- “…a single span curved roof over the zines and books on the man himself to Surely this is more important than aes- screens, free from the burden of super- trating, modernisation is unavoidable 400m long hall, instilling a sense of browse through. There is also a video thetics and one architecturally bereft fluous wiring and cumbersome hard- and although it may be a lot more calm on the intense activity below”. I interview to watch in which I discov- girl’s opinion? 22 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Arts [email protected] Of Grand Tourists and Cherubs Our roving culture vulture Rosie Grayburn samples the delights of Pompeo Bitoni at the National Gallery

The author described this one as a “minx”. Not too sure about that but it beats smug tubby little bitches with wings and arrows. Excuse me? A what? What’s a cherub?

t was warm and sunny out- depicted). There are random objects guide for sanity as I see more and more side… maybe that’s why no-one lying around all over the chaotic scene, cherubs. I will have nightmares to- is around, I thought to myself as all of which hold some kind of connec- night, I swear. The little device around I waddled to the new exhibition tion with Venice’s prosperity. There are my neck has become my very dearest I at the NG. The grand staircase cherubs bouncing around the frame friend. The commentary is concise and down to the basement in the Sainsbury holding pan pipes, set squares and interesting, and I rather enjoy the dif- Wing was absolutely deserted. Last hammers symbolising music, architec- ferent people they have roped in to talk time I was here to see Renaissance Si- ture and sculpture, thus referring to all about Batoni. It’s a change from just one ena at Christmas, it was packed with the things Venetians are good at. Blah smooth-talking lady instructing you tourists, old people AND screaming blah blah. on cherubs – there is a nice man who children – a perfect cross-section of Maybe for his first action as our new sounds like Loyd Grossman and some your average cultural London attrac- mayor, Boris Johnson will commission actor dude who talks in an appalling This gentleman crossed his legs to stop just a little bit of wee from tion. Today, it was just me and a few Italian accent pretending to be Batoni. coming out score paintings by a once-famous This is the best audio guide ever. After Pompeo Batoni. “Pompeo Batoni most commentaries, there is an option Pompeo Batoni was the most cel- to find out more info, which mostly in- grey hair, mad eyes and flailing arms. their education. On their travels, it was ebrated artist in 18th-century Rome. was the most cludes gossip about Batoni, his patrons Achilles also makes several appear- customary for these visitors to pick up I had never heard of the guy and was and fascinating snippets. Brilliant. ances in Batoni’s paintings. Batoni various souvenirs from the cities they keen to learn more about him. I just celebrated artist In room two the exhibition turns to seems to have taken it upon himself to visited. When they went to Venice, hoped he wasn’t all chubby cherubs the mythological. These ‘history paint- be his personal biographer as practi- they commissioned a painting of its and blushing goddesses. I picked up in 18th-century ing’ scenes were incredibly fashion- cally all his life is played out over these skyline by Canaletto; and when they my handy audio guide and entered the able at the time. Everyone wanted a bit walls. Poor Achilles had one messed- went to Rome, they got their portrait 1st room. It was all chubby cherubs Rome” from the Old Testament or Greek My- up childhood. He was educated by a painted by a well-known Pompeo Ba- and blushing goddesses. Shit. thology on their wall as it made them centaur, then dressed up as a woman toni. He was the portraitist of choice The first painting that caught my eye a similar piece. He will sit on a giant look educated! Due to their popularity, by his mother to protect him from for British and Irish tourists on their was The Triumph of Venice. It is one shell before a landscape of London’s they fetched up to 6-times the price of joining the Trojan War. Fortunately, ‘Grand Tour’. of his early works and was commis- skyline and be surrounded by allego- a portrait of the same size. I liked Pro- his penchant for swords gave his clever These portraits of Grand Tourists sioned by the Doge of Venice to com- ries of peace, gun crime and Starbucks. metheus Fashioning Man Out of Clay, disguise away and off he went to war. are a breath of fresh air from the volup- memorate how brilliant his city was. Cherubs will be perched around his in which Prometheus is looking rather The first two rooms of Batoni’s early tuous mythological females next door. On receiving this commission, Batoni head holding Olympic rings, Oyster exasperated at Miranda who is just work are deceptive. He doesn’t carry Batoni captures his patron’s appear- must have got out his ‘1000 Easy Ways cards and hard hats. Around their about to animate his first clay model on painting looser allegories all his ance with great accuracy and honesty. I to Put Symbolism into Your Paintings’ feet will be organic vegetables, fried using a butterfly, symbolising the soul. life: once he was recognised, he started love the portrait of Lady Featherstone- book out and just copied every single chicken and marijuana plants. Boris Prometheus clearly hasn’t finished him to earn more and more commissions haugh. Batoni portrays her as Diana, one down onto the canvas. There are will be flanked on either side by the yet, as his tools are still poised to fin- from a very different source. the Roman goddess of the hunt. It re- more divine beings here than you can Goddess of Council Tax and the God ish the man-bits. The generic ‘old man’, In the mid 18th-century, it was cus- minds me of those creepy photo shops shake a stick at and more allegories of Routemasters. like Prometheus, is a theme recurrent tom for young gentlemen to go on a you find in tourist honey pots in which than you could fit on one giant shell (as In the next room, I turn to my audio throughout Batoni’s works - the wild tour of Europe’s sights after finishing you dress up in a ridiculous Victorian Friday 9 May 2008 felix 23 [email protected] Arts or cowboy costume. Colonel Gordon has demolished it were ugly, he wasn’t going to change So, Batoni had become a bit of a leg- himself. that fact on canvas. The last room of end among the British upper classes. Most of these Grand Tourists were the exhibition demonstrates this, along According to my precious audio guide, depicted in Roman surroundings, with with the more intimate and sensitive Batoni’s studio was chaotic during the their hand placed strategically on an characterisations of the sitters. These days as tourists flocked there to try and ancient artefact or bust. However, the portraits are very life-like and likeable. get a portrait done or just to see him at It is evident when Batoni liked his sitter work! However, not all of his patrons if he depicts them looking intelligent were British. The unique horizontal “her see-through or lively. In addition, his mood was framed portrait of ‘Duchess Gerolama obviously lightened by the retreat of Santacroce Conti’ is completely gor- nightdress, the Grand Tourists in the 1780s when geous. She relaxes in her elegant chair war in France between the French and while doing her toilette and draping or peignoir, is English prevented much tourism. The pearls in a dish while her see-through portrait of Louisa Grenville is the most nightdress, or peignoir, is lazily un- lazily undone. sparkling portrait in the entire exhibi- done. PHWOAR! This is nothing like tion. According to Ms A. Guide, “she the rest of the portrait. Her dirty hus- PHWOAR!” was the most amiable person who ever band commissioned this portrait of lived”, and Batoni confirms this in her his wife-to be and it was hung in their 6th Duke of Gordon was a special case. bubbly depiction. private sexy-time bedchamber above At first, he was achingly excited about This exhibition marks the 300th the door. Kinky or what? Apparently, going to Europe - he hired the best anniversary of Batoni’s birth and is a the curator had great fun hanging this guide and paid for all his comforts to major achievement in terms of reviv- on the same wall as a painting entitled come with him. But when he actually ing a long-forgotten artist. Many of ‘Meekness’. got round to going he refused point these paintings have been cleaned and The fourth room is full of the grand- blank to get out of his carriage! Fortu- restored for the exhibition and they est Grand Tourists, and we see those nately, he did manage to ask Batoni for look incredibly fresh as if they had huge life-size ‘swagger portraits’ that a portrait, although he shouldn’t have been painted yesterday. The curators grace the Great Halls in stately homes. are also very proud of the fact they Yummy. It should be noted that these have ‘freed’ a lot of these paintings Grand Tourists were absolutely de- “Batoni got more from private collections, especially the spised by the locals. They were rowdy, beautiful Marriage of Saint Catherine. drank too much and were very arro- and more frank This painting meant a lot to Batoni gant. That’s right, guys. Brits Abroad because he apparently modelled the haven’t changed one bit these last 300 with his portraits, Saints Catherine and Lucy on his two years. ex-wives. It has been kept in a dark The most arrogant of the ‘swagger dispensing corner of the Italian Presidential palace portraits’ is ‘Colonel the Hon. William for years and it’s great that it manages Gordon’. From the way Batoni has por- completely with to get a good airing at this exhibition. I trayed him, he is the embodiment of loved the exhibition, despite the rather Scotland. He is swathed in tartan like a flattery.” grey, empty atmosphere in the gallery. toga and his pose is very martial, grand It is a real unique opportunity to see and overconfident. You can imagine bothered. Maybe out of spite, Batoni his paintings; I recommend swagger- him bashing his way into Batoni’s stu- painted The Duke as if he were hunting ing along and having a nosey! dio and rudely asking for his portrait back home in the Scottish Highlands! to be done in an incomprehensible “Bloody tourists”, he would have said. Pompeo Batoni is on until 18th Scottish accent. I love the way Batoni As he got older, Batoni got more and May. It costs £4 with your Impe- Back in the day, The Sartorialist didn’t exist. So you stood like a statue has positioned a ruined version of the more frank with his portraits, dispens- rial card and if you don’t go, I’ll for about a month while some noob did the hard work. But it was all Coliseum in the landscape, as though ing completely with flattery. If you set Achilles on your ass. totally worth it, as evidenced here

So basically this is what the Felix office looks like half the time, avec nakedness 24 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Film Film Editor – Zuzanna Blaszczak [email protected] One of Hollywood’s greatest Are you tired of seeing the same old faces on the screen and bored of George Clooney’s over-confident countenance? Stefan Carpanu has the answers

Zuzanna Blaszczak beyond the array of technical excel- Film Editor lence which, however brilliant, rarely leads to a feeling of real satisfaction Another year is coming to an end, nec- and fulfilment. essarily bringing along a few changes. Next I moved on to the film which While some lucky people leave us to brought Scott his fourth Oscar nomi- finally do something interesting with nation, The Hospital (1971), a very their lives, others take over their work, bizarre, dark comedy with an unusual hoping to continue doing as good a job plot and even more unusual characters. at it as they did (or at least not making While the actors’ performances were fools out of themselves). This term sees convincing and the Oscar-winning the beginning of the process to replace script really turned it all up a notch, the Felix Film editor. Under the guid- The Hospital surely isn’t a film fit for ance of Alex Casey I’ll be slowly tak- everyone’s tastes, so approach at your ing over his position as the Film editor own risk. In The Changeling (1980) he so that when the new term starts after co-starred with Melvyn Douglas, in a the summer holidays, the Film section film about a house with a dark past: a won’t be missing from Felix. cross between the recent The Orphan- Now just a few words about what you age (2007) and something of an Oliver should expect in the new issues. I’ll do Stone-ian political thriller. Although my best to have a film section printed not the most enticing of films – as it of- out in Felix every week, but can’t make ten happens when you simply go along any promises about that. I am interest- for the ride - it’s worth the time for fans ed in a vast range of film genres and so of the spooky genre. My next step will I’d like to keep this section pretty min- be Petulia (1968), starring Julie Chris- gled. I enjoy writing about really crap George C. Scott as the American tank commander during World War II, General George S. Patton tie, of which I’ve seen a bit before being movies (they are so much easier to taken aback by the weirdness of it. write about) so expect to see a lot of re- After I run out of films in which views beseeching you not to see some- There are many things that can be Hollywood. He refused to be nominat- a few years later did I get to see Dr. Scott takes up leading roles, I’ll prob- thing and thus saving you 10 quid. But said about actors and a bunch of peo- ed for his performance in The Hustler Strangelove (1964). His famed over- ably want to see his other two Oscar if you are feeling like doing some lav- ple make sure to say them. But there’s (1961) on his second nomination for the-top performance, which he was nominated films and hopefully change ish spending then hopefully the DVD nothing sweeter, in my experience of best supporting actor – Anatomy of a “tricked into” by director Stanley Ku- tracks to someone else, like James section, which I’m planning to start, film, than to discover an actor by your- Murder (1959) was the first – and af- brick, stuck with me even more than Stewart (likely) or Paul Newman (not will help you when you’re out of ideas. self and to let him drag you along in an ter being awarded the Oscar for Best Peter Sellers’ three character bonanza as likely). Don’t anticipate interactive parts in the exploration of cinema. Especially when Actor in a leading role for Patton, he (not to say that Sellers wasn’t brilliant If you’re wondering what this is all section like quizzes or puzzles or what- you reach a point of saturation; when did not accept it. His justification was himself). At that time though, I still felt about, there are two points to my story. not, but do look out for a Comments you’ve seen what you wanted to see that he did not feel himself to be in a film had many other things to offer and First, to write about the achievements section where you can post your opin- and don’t really know what to see next, competition with other actors, but he I shamelessly ignored George C. Scott of a great actor and perhaps attract ions about movies if you don’t feel like an actor can prove extremely helpful. is also quoted to have said that the Os- until I laid eyes on Patton, earlier this some interest to his body of work. And writing a whole review but want your George C. Scott is one of these actors, cars were all a “meat parade”. year. second, to emphasise that watching views heard nevertheless. having helped me out of late. Probably Ironically, the first film I saw Scott In Patton he delivers an exquisitely films is not only about ticking away the not as well known as his contemporar- in, not knowing who he was or what he balanced portrayal of the eponymous great success stories, but also about If you feel like getting yourself ies, such as Marlon Brando and James had done, was 12 Angry Men (1997), his eccentric general who led the US ar- exploring the unknown of cinema and, heard, then contribute to Felix Stewart, Scott is a four times Oscar first of two excellent remakes with Jack mies during World War II in North Af- perhaps, ourselves. Film. Send your articles to: felix. nominated actor who had a severe dis- Lemmon – the second would be Scott’s rica and Sicily. It’s really these kind of If we get too bored of everything [email protected] taste for the whole show thrown up by last film, Inherit the Wind (1999). Only performances that gives films the level else, that is. What is it about Indiana Jones? It won’t be long now before the whip-wielding, fedora-loving archaeologist graces our cinema screens again

Zuzanna Blaszczak everyone knows the hero will always the Raiders of the Lost Ark a warmth Film Editor come out unscarred, the audience’s that I believe will be very hard to find fascination with the perilous incidents in the new sequel. Whilst waiting for the premiere of doesn’t end till the very last minute. Having said that, and despite the this fourth installation of an Indiana The credit for this goes to George lead actor’s significant advance in Jones movie, entitled Indiana Jones Lucas and Steven Spielberg who use, age since 1981, I’m still looking for- and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, with excellent results, their ability to ward to seeing Indiana Jones on the and wondering how bad this sequel bring a childlike joy and happiness big screen for the first time. Mainly will turn out to be, I thought that it to the process of movie watching, re- because of the assurances made by would be nice to try and find out what minding us that movies are ultimately Steven Spielberg that he has tried to it is that made the first film such a cult about good entertainment. The ad- keep computer generated imagery to movie. ditional bonus is that the film can an absolute minimum, using instead Obviously there is the adventure as- boast a plot that is able to move the the traditional stunts that have proved pect. Raiders of the Lost Ark (the first story forward in between all those so successful in the previous install- in the series of Indiana Jones movies) bar brawls, long jumps over precipi- ments. If, on top of that, the director starts off with an action-packed scene tous drops, and last minute escapes in manages to somehow endow The in an exotic location that sets the tone airplanes. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with an for the whole movie. The thrill of dodg- Then, of course, we have Harrison ‘old school’ feel (like the other sequels ing huge, rolling boulders and danger- Ford, who perfectly catches the es- had) and doesn’t forget that the suc- ous, native inhabitants interspersed sence of Indiana Jones. In the movie cess of the movie ultimately depends with numerous booby traps and the he is a fantastic blend of self confi- on whether Indiana Jones’ personality consequent near-misses that we are dence, reckless daring, quick wits and and his character shines through all introduced to in the beginning contin- an ability to take himself a little bit less the action, it might be worth spend- ues throughout the whole movie, with seriously than everyone around him, ing the 10 quid to watch the old man a plethora of cliffhanger moments that which saves him from being simply an trying to find the treasure again. And make you move just that tad closer to arrogant smart-ass. It is Ford’s tongue- who knows, maybe Harrison Ford just the edge of your seat. And although in-cheek acting that ironically gives gets fitter with age? I don’t remember Indy having quite so much grey in his hair Try our fantastic new evening menu at the Union. Exciting new menu with all your favourites Freshly prepared to order Order at the bar and we’ll bring the food to your table Premium ingredients at non-premium prices!

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Eat well; do well! Food at the Union. imperialcollegeunion.org/feedme 26 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Music Music Editors – Peter Sinclair and Susan Yu [email protected] Philosophical Elephants Cage the Elephant delves deep into religion, their past and present experiences and on how one’s upbringing can indefinitely shape one’s music: or so it seems... Susan Yu

Music Editor Cage the Elephant Interview by Peter Sinclair ummer is well and truly here! According to me, at least, anyway. Glorious days of im- The two guitarists, Lincoln Parish and measurable bliss, of sitting Brad Shultz from Cage the Elephant S in Hyde Park, chilling out gave Felix the pleasure of talking to and having music on full blast. Music them. at this time of the year may be palpa- bly soothing and stress-releasing for Tell me about yourselves. those who are stuck in a haze of exam B: We’re from Bowling Green, Ken- preparations, or for individuals who tucky. Small town, There’s only about have already jumped the big hurdles; 60 thousand people there at the most. well, there is no better time than now It’s a college town. to party away. Rock and roll!! L: There’s nothing really to do there. This summery train of thought has B: That’s why we got into music. inevitably got me thinking of summer L: No, there’s actually a lot of really grooves. Songs that get us on our feet or good musicians who’ve come out of simply sweet melodies reminiscent of Bowling Green over the years. It’s kind past summers and the delicious mem- of bizarre. It’s always had a good history ories of letting oneself go and getting for good musicians and good bands. high on cloud nine. For me, ‘Mambo Number 5’,’ by Lou Bega and ‘‘Dancing Like who? in the Moonlight’ by Toploader epito- B: Well, nobody notable. This guy mise fun and laughter on hot summer named Bobby Baldwin who toured An uncaged elephant days. I can almost hear the ice cream with the Band of Gypsies and Eric van purring in the distance... Clapton and Santana. Alternatively, both ‘Summer Son’ and L: He actually taught me guitar for a Are you guys religious? You seem kind of cynical about it. who the fucking Talking Heads are” ‘Inner Smile’ by Texas as well as the couple years. B: I’m religious to the point where I B: We’re cynical about it becoming an L: Once you open that door it’s like a brilliant New Radical’s sensation ‘You B: He’s fuckin’ badass. believe in God and Jesus and all that institution but you know, the religion whole new world to you. It’s just so cool Get What You Give’ catapult me back L: I got a volume pedal on my wall that stuff, but it’s not the institution that – I have faith in what I have faith in. I be exposed to music like that when to my high school summer vacations, was Carlos Santana’s from this guy. people make it. Church, it’s been for won’t go around forcing it on people. you’ve never heard anything like it. where the pinnacle of life was pure en- He’s always been in rock and roll, then several hundred, maybe even since it joyment. Good old days. In contrast, he came back home and decided to got started…it hasn’t been the same Can you describe your music for What kind of music are you into ‘Crazy in love’ by the one and only Be- straighten his life out so he became a ever since someone found out they people who havn’t heard it? nowadays? yonce paints a passion-fuelled picture preacher. could make money off religion that’s L: Rock and roll, punk, funk, whatever L: All kinds of stuff of the intoxiating nature of summer B: That’s what everyone does in our when it started going down the shit- we come up with B: Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stones, Pink romances, of falling head over heels. In town. We live in the Bible Belt. ter. I’m not saying that every church or Floyd love or daydreaming perhaps... L: The Bible Belt consciousness got that everybody is that way, but Church What kind of bands did you listen L: A lot of old stuff, but also a lot of The other day, I discovered a hidden to him and he decided to come back has become a big business now. to as kids? new bands. Everybody in the band is gem in my iTunes library that I had to- home. L: It’s more a social thing, than people L: A lot of us weren’t allowed to listen always trying to find a really hip new tally ignored. A crime against Mother going there for religious reasons. to much band who are on the cutting edge. You Music. Apologies. Basically, I had been I’ve read that one or more of you B: Back in the day, Christianity was B: Me and Matt and Titchner were only wanna be doing something that no- given the first Scissor Sisters album grew up on a Christian Hippy mystical. People met in caves in secret, allowed to listen to Christian music as body else is doing so you need to see and, as you do, imported it into my Comune and you could get killed for doing it, young kids. Of course, I snuck a Jimi what everybody else is doing. music library without really exploring B: That would be Tichenor. He was it was like the rebels. Not that I think Hendrix tape into the house. And my B: Bands nowadays, we like The Yeah what the music had to offer. It was by born on it, and my dad lived there with now people should be meeting in caves dad, if he was feeling real good man, in Yeah Yeahs, Tokyo Police Club, The chance that I had an afternoon off one his dad. They were hippies and my dad or anything, but people should still be a real good mood, he’d put on some Joe White Stripes, The Raconteurs. day that I decided to have a quick lie- always played music. He was in a few wanting to learn about stuff, not just Cocker or some Pink Floyd or some L: There’s a lot of bands that we’ll play down and chose to play the album. And bands – one started to get big but then “Oh I’m here, I’m being seen. Every- Steppenwolf. with on the road that we’ll find no- gosh, Scissor Sisters are mindblow- his drummer got killed in a crash, so body look at me putting money into L: I had an Eminem CD that I’d bought body else knows of. There’s this band ingly AWESOME! Previously, I had then he turned real Christian and they the bag”. when I was like 10 years old. I’d been called Mason Proper, they’re really heard a few of the band’s tracks on the live on this big Christian hippy com- L: Seriously, no joke. Down in the south hiding it in my room under some sick. There’s all kind of cool bands you radio and did fall for the resoundingly mune thing, and they all sat down and if you don’t give money to the church clothes, and my mom went to clean my can discover that nobody else knows bittersweet ‘Mary’, as well as taking a played Christian music together. people will look at you in a completely room and was going through my shit about. Like that band Illenios. strong liking for feel-good anthems different way. You’ll get evil looks. and found it. She was like “You do not B: Yeah Illenois, they’re supposed to like ‘Take Your Mama,’ ‘Laura’ and How did that all work, how B: People who take the pastor out to need to be listening to this”. She threw be Jack White’s new favourite band ‘‘I Don’t Feel like Dancing.’ But what did ‘Christian’ and ‘hippy’ go dinner and they think they’re special it away and I cried. This was the Mar- or something. A buddy of ours knows really captured my soul was ‘It Can’t together? for one day. How the hell does that shall Mathers LP. When I was 13 and Jack White’s tour manager, who’s the Come Quickly Enough.’ A rather biz- L: It’s kind of you know, the last strain make it special? I’d been playing guitar for about a year, guy that turned him on to Illenois. zare and ambiguous title but you can- of hippies who found Jesus through L: The preacher’s not God. my dad went out and bought me the L: Autovaughn, they’re killer live. We not help but be entranced by vocalist acid. Jesus Freaks they call them, back B: Yeah not shit. If you said you were Led Zeppelin ‘Early and Latter Days’, saw them play in Austin and they put Jake Shears’ breathtaking intonations, in the States. Somehow they found taking Jesus out for lunch or some- the two disk thing. So that was the first on one of the best shows. They killed the exquisite melody and powerful lyr- God through all that stuff. thing you know..props! time I really heard rock and roll like it. Brad was so wasted he got up on ics. If you haven’t given Scissor Sisters that. It was cool. stage and like, trashed the stage. a shot, man, you are seriously missing B: Me and Matt got into rock and roll B: They’re buddies of ours. I was stand- out big time. through sneaking it. Then our parents ing in the front row rocking out and Even though Goldfrapp’s new al- got divorced when were about 13, 14. Darren came over and head-butted bum ‘Seventh Tree’ has already come Once they got divorced, everything me in the head and pushed his head out this February, I don’t think it’s too started being…I dunno, they just kind against mine so I pushed him back late to give the album a whirl, so I have of loostened up a little bit. They had into the stage, and then they were just rightly included a belated album re- other stuff to worry about. And we’d rocking out so I just got up on stage view for you readers. In addition, my play the two sides against the other. and started kicking the drums, it was colleague in honour has supplied us “Mom let’s me do it” so dad was like crazy as fuck. The whole stage was just with a ‘Cage the Elephant’ interview. “Well fuck it!” you know? Then we just destroyed. This was at a place called Don’t ask questions. ‘Tis very long. But got into a bunch of music after that. Chuggin’ Monkey. simply read and relish! We were discovering all these new bands for the first time. It was weird What kind of places do you like to We’ve got a mountain of CDs because it was like we were discov- play in? sent to us over the holidays, and ering them on our own – we’d go to L: Playing small little shithole bars there’s always gigs that need our friends and be like “Oh my God, back him that hold about 200 people, going to. If you fancy getting have you heard of this band the Talk- and there’s 350 people in there sweat- some free stuff, give us an email ing Heads, they’re so badass”, and they ing their asses off, breaking everything, at [email protected] Cage the Elephant were all like “Dude, everybody knows it doesn’t get much better than that. Friday 9 May 2008 felix 27 [email protected] Music

this whole thing started. store and buy up as much canned food Snoop Dogg’s older material. He got L: We just jammed and they were like as you can, you know? There’s so many lost along the way. He needs to start “We’re going to do these three demos different ways to scare people, it’s all smoking pot again. tomorrow, why don’t you come”, and I just a marketing scheme. was like “OK”. What’s the weirdest question B: That was the first time Lincoln re- Are the lyrics geared towards that, you’ve ever been asked? ally jammed with us a lot, besides com- or is that just the name? L: Do you want some crack? ing over for like an hour and mucking B: Matt talks about certain stuff, but B: We were staying at this backpacking around. I guess after we did that demo it’s not like he’s preaching to anybody, place when we played a show in Cana- we decided to be a band. Came up with saying to anybody how to change their da. North by north east, everybody in a name. That came through a conver- lives. It’s just different thoughts that he a hostel. sation Matt had with somebody about has. As far as lyrics are concerned, it’s L: This chick followed us back to our society and, talking about the elephant just thoughts that he has on life that room and we were smoking a bowl, and a lot of different religions. In a lot he’d like to see happen in the world and she was like “Do you want some of different things, the elephant is held L: Social stuff crack?” Probably the craziest thing in a good light. People are always talk- B: Social stuff more than government that’s ever happened was after a Koko ing about the elephant’s memory, So politics. It’s more of a social comment. show, and this dude comes up to us as him and a buddy were talking about It all starts with the people, they have was like “Hey man, want some coke?” how society kind of resembles an el- the power to do whatever they want. and I was like “Nah man, whatever”, ephant and how, not just the media L: It’s how he observes things and he was like “If y’all got any coke, Cage the Elephant’s guitarist looking every bit the Mr Rock and Roll but everything in general tries to put I’ve got some heroin to trade” a cage on the elephant. They want to Can you describe a typical fan? B: Haha, I was like “Damn!” cage that goodness that everybody has L: What I think is cool about our music L: Dude was straight up trying to get us But then when you do the really big highschool. Me and Matt are brothers. in them. is that it appeals to all different types of some heroin. I was like “No way.” shows it’s got it’s own cool thing about Jared, we’ve been jamming with him L: All you see on the news is negativie people. Not everybodies the same, it’s B: Most interesting questions we’ve it. They are just different. since we were like 16 years old. We crap.. pretty cool been asked in an interview…lemme B: I like the bigger shows where you were in this other band, and one of our B: Yeah, you see war, three people got B: We mix a lot of different shit in our ask Matt [opens the van and shouts to can jump our and crowdsurf and get players went AWOL, and another one gunned down, five people got stabbed. music. We get tagged as a rock and roll Matt] Matt! What’s the most interest- crazy with everybody. decided to quit and do his own thing, You don’t hear about anything good, band, but we’re not totally rock and ing question we’ve been asked in an so we got together with Titchner who nothing. I don’t think that’s how it actu- roll music. We have different elements interview. Most weird. What’s the biggest show you’ve had never played bass before. He plays ally is, it’s just what sells. It’s consump- to our music. We’re touching hip hop, M: The weirdest question we’ve been played so far? guitar. We knew him through our dad tion by fear. You’re afraid that you’re we’re touching obviously rock and roll, asked in an interview was “Do you L: 4000? and all the things that our parents used gonna get zits so what do you do? Go touching punk music, touching funk, a make any animal noises?” Don’t ask me B: We toured with Queens of the Stone to do together. So we were out one out and get some pimple cream. You’re little bit of everything. why they asked that. I replied “Only Age for a while, so there were probably night and Titchner was wasted and he afraid that you’re gonna get gunned while I masturbate” That was the only about 5000 people at those shows. That was like “Let me try out for the band!!”. down so what do you do? Go out Are you guys into hip-hop? answer I could think of for that. How was cool, 5000 is good enough for me. We were like “Can you play bass?” And and get whatever you need to protect L: Yeah man. Lupe Fiasco is badass. do you answer a question like that? L: It’s so cool at those big shows open- he was like “Yeah yeah I can play bass”. yourself. You’re afraid that the world B: He’s off the hook. I like a lot. NWA, “Yes, actually I can make the sound of ing for big bands, we enjoy it probably He goes out and buys a bass the next is gonna end so you go to the grocery Public Enemy, Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube. a lion.” as much as everybody else does, so day, comes to band practice and he’s we’ll go out there in the mosh pit. Peo- absolutely horrible. I talked to Matt – ple are so surprised to see us out mosh- “Dude let’s give him a chance to prac- ing with everybody else. tise up. So a week later he comes in, B: There’s no reason to set yourself blows the roof off the place. I was like apart, I’m just as much a Queens of the “Holy shit”. Seriously, I couldn’t believe Stone Age fan as everyone else. it. Now you listen to his bass lines, and L: Queens of the Stone Age were really they are so complicated. I don’t know good, really nice to us. That was the how he caught on so fast but he did it. first big tour we’ve been on, and they Then Lincoln, he was just this 15-year- kind of took us under their wing. old kid that kept hitting us up on the B: Yeah man we had no fucking clue. internet – “Hey guys lemme try out for We’d done spot shows for a couple of your band”. Jared was like “Fuck that. bands, but we’re still a pretty young I’m not gonna be in a band with 15, 16 band. We’ve only been together for a year old.” We were 22 at the time. year and a couple months. L: I had just turned 16. B: So that’s when he first tried out, we How did you come together to kind of jammed together and then we form the band? just became a band after that. Started B: Me, Matt and Jared had been play- writing new material, then we were ing music together since we were in thought let’s get into the studio and get The band trapped in a small, dark room and absolutely loving it Goldfrapp’s Seventh Tree blossoms gloriously

Album review mospherics, over which Alison Gold- cave, tying in with the consummate frapp’s sublime sensual vocals soar ma- natural essence of this striking album. jestically. Her lush dreamy voice is as ‘Eat Yourself,’ a slow-burning, poignant intoxicating as the overpowering scent number, envelops bittersweet chord of a rose, taking you to a dreamland of changes, whilst Alison coos heart- desire and ecstasy, evoking images of breakingly, possibly reminiscent of the Garden of Eden where everything Bjork. Seemingly effortless – ‘If you shimmers with gold. don’t eat yourself the pain will instead.’ The album softly kicks off with Other notable beauties include ‘A&E,’ Goldfrapp ‘Clowns,’ a misty concoction of gen- which is their new single released 4th Seventh Tree ★★★★★ tle acoustic guitar and string instru- February. It will grip every listener with mentation complemented by equally its gradual build-up, layered sound- soothing, tender yet nearly incompre- scape, culminating with a euphonic The genre-crossing pop sensation that hensible vocals – ‘Only clowns would spell in the chorus. Meanwhile, ‘Cara- is Goldfrapp have released their fourth play with…’ One really does have to van Girl,’ a rare upbeat return to energy, album, ‘Seventh Tree’, which sold over listen very hard to decipher the lyrics. will have you swinging back and forth, 100,000 copies in the first week of re- Does it matter? No. The music does tapping your foot and jumping to the lease. Quite something. This follows enough talking. The melody is simply return of the pop cosmic soup. the captivating, critically acclaimed, and beguilingly beautiful. The picture Last but not least, ‘Monster Love’ platinum-selling album ‘Supernature.’ painted defines the integral eerie still- brings together synthesisers and rich Goldfrapp have delighted fans with ness and the intangible, magical power electronics, reverberating against the their sheer diversity, from the elec- of nature. ‘Little Birds’ carries on with underlying rapid guitar riffs. Heav- tronic balladry of Mercury-nominated the delicate, surreal dreaminess and ily textured and deeply ambient, bath- debut ‘Felt Mountain’ (2000) to the undoubtedly bucolic feel, but sees the ing us in a haze of ebullient spring swaggering dancefloor beast of an al- appearance of drums, swirling key- sunshine: ‘the sun leaps out, it’s clear bum – ‘Black Cherry’ (2003), continu- boards, a slinky bass-line and trance- again...’ ously bringing fresh and dynamic takes inducing loops. No further proof is required. The on the definition of true talent. The pace dawdles in ‘Road to Some- duo’s compelling ability to seduce lis- ‘Seventh Tree’ is an electrifying where,’ part of the instrumentation teners is at work once again. maelstrom of sound, with cushy at- subtly evoking water dripping in a Susan Yu Goldfrapp’s very own Alison 28 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Fashion Fashion Editors – Sarah Skeete and Daniel Wan [email protected] Imperial never looked so good Nads Jumabhoy and Daniel Wan scour the crowds of Imperial College looking for those with style

sunny Friday after- ping expedition around College was noon during exam to catch people during their usual day. time at Imperial, and You know, lectures, lunch and labs. Archibald, Medical Biogeographic every spare space in (Our days are littered with allitera- Physichemical Engineering, 6th Year the library is taken tion!) We weren’t looking for anything A up by a stressed-out special, but after thousands of issues of student. It’s probably one of the worst Felix without the very people of Impe- Firstly, we’ll start with the standard dress around moments to approach someone to ask rial College featured in Felix Fashion, College; and people wonder why we have a them whether they’d like to feature Nads and I agreed it would be a good reputation for being geeks. There’s a few odd in this week’s issue of Felix. Strangers change from another article telling the people that think it looks cool, even fashionable, scare me, and ones that look they’ve latest decline of a supermodel or what to walk around with their labcoats on. The worst been reading obituary pages rather to wear in the new season. If Fashion than revision notes scare me even features one or two students from Col- offenders are the ones that leave their lab coats more; and hence I didn’t approach any- lege, we feel it gives the readers some- open in a ‘just nailed that electrophoresis experi- one. But the lovely Nads Jumabhoy did; thing else; another reason to pick up ment good’ way. When they turn a corner quickly completely unphased by the task of the new issue of Felix on Fridays. their ‘coat tails’ waver majestically in the air, and talking to people we thought had even Hopefully, it’ll work. Thousands, you can just tell they’re thinking “How cool am an irk of style in their daily wear. even millions, more people each week I?” with a genuine lack of irony. We seemed to inadvertently ap- will grab Felix as soon as Tomo (the A prime example featured on the right is PhD proach more Physicists than anyone Editor) dumps them down in the dis- student Archibald, his mates call him Prickface. else. We’re not sure whether this is a trubution bins on Friday mornings, in He wears his labcoat outside of labs. When I said correlation between studying Physics the sheer excitement that Felix Fashion he had mates, I lied. Let’s see what ol’ Archie’s and looking good or not. Wouldn’t that may or may not feature them and their wearing exactly: be a turn for a stereotypist’s book? friends. Or maybe not, but you never I thought we’d struggle to find enough know. people who we thought deserved to be I’d like to know what you think. Labcoat, commended for what they were wear- Think we should have a similar feature Issued in Fresher’s Week, £15 ing that day, but also wouldn’t mind each week? Got any better ideas you’d Shirt, being featured. However, we were like to see? Email me at daniel.wan07@ pleasantly suprised at people’s enthusi- imperial.ac.uk. Primark, £4 asm and cooperation in what Nads and For now, I’ll leave you with this week’s Spectacles, I were trying to achieve. fashionable Imperialites we found pot- NHS, £90 Rather than shying away from the tering about College. Maybe it’ll be you Petri Dish Accessory, camera, many embraced the limelight next week. Watch out for Nads with It doesn’t even matter anymore. they were due to recieve in this issue. the notepad and yours truly with the The point of our little photo-snap- broken Felix-owned camera.

Carlos, Maths, 1st Year Maddie, Biochem, 1st Year (Carlos, left)

Pea Coat, Forever 21, $48 Straight Jeans Uniqlo, £20 Shoes, Singapore, £10 Scarf, Camden, £3 Badges, from Kinder Eggs Rosette, Made by a friend

(Maddie, right)

Gold Smock, New Look, £10 Cropped Jacket, Moto Topshop, £25 Skinny jeans, H&M, £15 Necklace, made by boyfriend Tom Sunglasses, Camden, £6 Shoes, New Look, £10 Bag, Vintage, £15 Friday 9 May 2008 felix 29 [email protected] Fashion

Amandeep, Physics, 2nd Year Phil, Chemistry, 1st Year (Amandeep, left)

Cardigan, Topshop, £15 Smock top, Topshop, £15 Skirt, Urban Outfitters, £30 Belt, Charity shop, £2 Ribbed tights, New Look, £4 Shoes, Topshop, £15

(Phil, right)

T-Shirt, Gap, £25 Blue cardigan, Diesel, £80 Red skinny jeans, Uniqlo, £20 Tan Jacket, Zara, £Unknown Brown shoes, Kurt Geiger, £80

Melissa, Physics, 1st Year Christine, Physics, 1st Year

(Melissa, left)

Dress, H&M, £15 Hoodie, Urban Oufitters, £5 Jelly Shoes, Urban Outtiffers, £10 Necklaces, All Topshop, £10 Bag, Topshop, £20

(Christine, right)

Knit top, Unknown ¾ Trousers, Topshop, £10 Tights, Camden, £4 Pacman belt, Camden, £8 Scarf, Mum’s Bag, Online, £3 30 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Games Games Editors – Azfarul Islam and Sebastian Nordgren [email protected] FYI Father, I have sinned Michael Cook asks if you know what it’s like to have killed a man. Then kills you

Michael Cook Candle in the wind eah, yeah, you’ve got ex- ams. We’ve all got ex- ams, big deal. But try as you might, you can’t get Y through three, four or five weeks of work without needing some relaxation time at some point. And by relaxation, I don’t mean collapsing into sleep for two hours, on top of a pile of notes. That’s what most people find best about gaming – it covers all the bases. I’ve got my Peggle for brief five-minute flirts with procrastination, and I’ve also got Grand Theft Auto III for when I’m looking to massacre a slightly larger portion of the day. What I’ve found myself playing most, in fact, is GTA III. Not because I don’t like GTA IV, or that I don’t have a next- gen console to play it on, but simply because I’ve not played anything other than the original Grand Theft Auto in my life. A few weeks back, Steam tempted me into the land of Liberty City, and despite several years of rave reviews and friend recommendations, Sure, Blue Team wins... but at what cost? I was still surprised at just how good it is. I have to say, I think it’s the radio. The rass grows, sun shines, big and stupid, but they dish out the nowhere. There’s a horrible moment I shout ‘Medic!’ once, for good mea- world does feel alive, certainly; there birds fly, and brother? I hurt like nothing else if they’ve got a where I see him switch weapon and sure, and then charge towards the front are plenty of people running around hurt people. But not in Medic behind them. consider running. lines. To him, I look like a lumbering on the streets and the cars look nice. a childish way, or a loud I’m on the Blue side, wearing a pin- Only it turns out that he’s switching lump of muscle and gun – a brick shit- Buildings are decorated in that Rock- G and brash way. I don’t stripe suit and smoking a delicate to his healing gun. He turns it on. In- house that fires other, smaller brick star manner of dark humour, and the run around with a stick of aluminium cigarette. It’s decision time for the teresting things start to happen. shithouses. But really, I’m a European sights still look lovely to me even with cleaving people’s faces in, nor do I Spies, because disguises mean making A friend of mine says that he won’t chain-smoker with a knife fetish. the graphics this old. pump people full of lead. It’s more sub- a commitment. If someone sees you ever play the Spy on moral grounds. I As we near the corner, I shout at him But the radio is the human voice. It’s tle. In fact, even as the flickknife buries disguised at the start of a round, then don’t know to what extent he’s joking, again and there’s a reassuring ‘whoosh’ the background noise that every city itself in your back, it’s not the one-hit people know you’re there, and every- and I suspect it’s more to do with the as he activates the charge and I glow needs, because even with missions kill that hurts you. That’s not how I one gets edgy. Edginess means death. fact that the Spy can be a little boring a fierce red. I walk around the corner, and the like it’s still the radio that feels work. I humiliate people. Most people choose the average at times. When you’re playing a Soldier and there is the rest of my team, all most real. The radio doesn’t talk to you When you go on to play Team For- classes, the ones that blend in. Demo- – a more simple, damaging class that ready and respawned. To them, I ap- about drugs busts or bank jobs. It just tress 2 – Valve’s epic first-person Halo fans might be familiar with – the pear as I really am. Small, weak, and wants to sell you giraffes via mail order, shooter that recently enjoyed a free game bobs along at a reasonable rate. tricksy. A chorus of laughs goes out and get you to discuss your views on weekend and a bunch of free content “I’m wearing a You don’t get any of the dizzying highs, over the voice communication as they military service. – you’re not gambling much. There’s really, but on the other hand you’re realise what I’ve done. Lips 106 is my station of choice for no money on the table, and there’s pinstripe suit always scoring, there’s no dull period I walk further into them, and the the first island. Cheap, commercial, no fate-of-the-world scenario. Players where you die repeatedly and have Medic follows me to make sure he it smacks of American media in all gamble one of two things when they go and smoking your plans dashed. keeps the charge running. It’s prob- the good ways it can. The presenters online to game, and the most often lost Because, other than reputation, the ably half full now, and I haven’t fired are sugary, horribly happy and it feels of these is reputation. a delicate other thing we sacrifice by playing on- a shot, something that will be making great to bomb along Chinatown listen- Out of all of the playable classes, the line is time. Team Fortress 2 helpfully him suspicious. But, trooper that he is, ing to some godawful pop. It gives that Spy stands out as different. There are cigarette” reminds you of just how much time he stays with it. A quarter left. A tenth. real Sunday-morning vibe to gunning few gaming characters in multiplayer you’ve poured into it, and my top two And the ubercharge is done. down Triad members. history who compare to him – hugely man is a popular disguise, sometimes classes alone score over a day’s worth Immediately, three heavies open up Like most good games, I’d initially underpowered, incapable of dealing a Medic to lure people towards you. of play. That’s not much, however, in on the Medic, and he goes sprawling been skeptical of Grand Theft Auto III. damage in most cases, and carrying But good spies take the occasional risk comparison to others who have spent through the air into a bloody pile. He Because most people tell me that they items that are at best difficult to use, too, and so today I’m slinging on a fat something approaching a week with a doesn’t know what happened to me. enjoy just seeing how much damage and at worst dependent on luck. suit and disguising myself as one of the single character type. He doesn’t even know I was a Spy. In they can cause, I assumed I wouldn’t But when the Spy plays well, he most obvious classes in the game – a So time is important. Time’s impor- fact, as far as he’s aware, his team is full like it because that kind of will happens stands out among every other player Heavy. I tap the cloaking button and tant for Spies, because disguise and of appalling players who get him killed very rarely with me. I occasionally like on the server. Spies are the passive- dash around the corner just as the last subtlety takes planning and patience. and waste his time. to attract the attention of a helicopter, aggressives, they’re the real bullies of of my team die and go back to await It’s also important for Medics. By I run back to base and readjust my but in general I actually prefer the op- TF2: more so than the Heavy or the respawning. healing, a Medic can build up a spe- tie, my team still chuckling over the posite – I prefer living in the city. Demoman. When you’re disguised as I dash up some steps, taking care cial power that allows him to make a ingame chat. ‘Do it again!’ one of them But that’s why the game works, be- a member of the opposite team, you to avoid others whilst I’m invisible, player invulnerable for a short time cries. cause it offers the freedom to do so. have a special power over them. And it and leap into an alcove to wait for the period. The standard tactic is to walk But what they don’t know is that, If you’ve got Steam and you want to hurts on both sides of the monitor. right moment. The Reds are pushing the player into the midst of the action, behind the cardboard cut-out mask, know the minutiae of my gaming life, At the start of part of the Dustbowl around the corner, according to the tearing apart player after player, before the balaclava is wet with tears. That feel free to add me – I’m FinalSin on map, the two teams tend to collect on stream of death messages flashing up, retreating to safety. That’s why, as the Medic just wanted to help people. He the Community. Alternatively, write either side of a corner. On the Red side, but it seems they’re being pushed back. medic begins healing me and I see that just wanted to play the game, and have and tell us your alternate gaming lives: several gun emplacements are whir- As the cloaking fades off, a Red Medic he’s fully charged, I know that this is a good time. [email protected] ring, and Medics are preparing to heal comes running back from the fighting. going to be a very awful sixty seconds What have I done? Good luck with those exams, folks. the big damage-dealers. Heavies are I’m sure he’s seen me materialise out of for him. * You Will Respawn As Medic Friday 9 May 2008 felix 31 [email protected] Games Games and Media 2008 at Imperial Science meets Space Invaders, SHODAN and Sonic once again as the Imperial GaME Event returns

Last year’s event included Peter Molyneux and David Braben discussing the future of the industry, as well as a host of technical talks on AI and hardware. These people came

Michael Cook timetables of some departments, but gramming for the Playstation3, stories its home department – Computing – of success from previous Imperial stu- GaME 2008: The schedule so far... You probably remember the glory days will be free of revision by then. The dents in the big, wide, world of gam- when E3 was essentially its own nation event isn’t designed to simply fill up ing, and requests for your help build- While a lot of GaME’s lineup ics – of particular interest to peo- for the three days that it took over part space in the timetable with a few talks ing games for the next generation, the is still unconfirmed, a few an- ple who might be considering of America. People came, people dis- about maths, though. event can be inspiring to gamers who nouncements have been made. applying their scientific skills to covered everything that was going to “By developing a good long-term re- never got into E3 before – which I’m First up is Paul Miller from Re- the media industries, or indeed happen in the next twelve months, and lationship with interesting university fairly sure is most of us. bellion – the development studio to the polar bear industry. then people left again. research groups, a company can both The event is free to attend, but reg- responsible for, amongst other For the more technologically- Before you had the Internet, it was tap into the research community, and istration is required on the website of things, Delta Force: Black Hawk oriented, there are plenty of even more tantalising. You’d have to sometimes also guide it towards inter- the event, where you can also get up- Down and The Simpsons Game. more meaty talks to be had too. wait some time to learn what people esting problems” explains Professor to-date news on the lineup and the He’ll be talking about artificial Among the confirmed is Code- had seen there, until the magazines Paul Kelly, one of the event organisers, schedules. intelligence in games, and this play’s Andrew Richards who’ll began throwing exclamation marks on “[The] industry still needs in-house The event may also showcase some one’s likely to be accessible even be discussing multi program- the covers and pictures that you hadn’t effort, to bridge the gap between re- work from Imperial that has ramifi- if you’ve never touched a compu- ming and some solutions that seen before. It was an exciting time. search idea and usable technique, and cations for the industry – last year a ter except to play games. Codeplay have come up with. Some things change, and others stay to make good choices informed by re- wide range of presentations was seen: A few industry-based talks Codeplay’s work includes some the same. The Games and Media Event search, about when and how.” from facial recognition and graphics have been scheduled incredible auto-par- that Imperial plays host to each year The relationship between media in- processing to massively-multiplayer from middleware allelising technolo- is always a reminder that the world of dustries such as videogaming and re- online networking technologies. developers such gies, so this is sure gaming is branching out and making search institutions becomes more and “It is Imperial’s mission to deliver as Framestore, a to be a worthwhile itself known elsewhere. It’s also a sign more important as technological inno- scholarship, education and research.“ company responsi- watch. that adding science to something al- vation goes on. In particular, those with Professor Kelly tells me. “It’s my be- ble for creating computer-gener- And there's more – the head of ways makes it more interesting. an analytical mind become in high de- lief this is a unique combination that ated graphics such as those seen Imperial's Software Performance GaME is designed to bring together mand, and so ‘dream’ jobs of working makes universities very special.” powering everyone’s favourite Optimisation Group will be giv- people from the gaming industry – and in industries that you used to dream of Whether you’re undecided about Polar-bear King, Iorek of The ing a mind-expanding talk; co- further afield – with people from the as a child, soon become more realistic your future with research or careers; Golden Compass fame. founder of Games Workshop and world of academia. The series of talks when you attend events like this. interested in the technology that makes Their talk – Tools and Tech- all-round entrepreneur, Eidos' Ian and presentations organized each year Framestore, for example, is a graph- today’s games tick; or simply want to niques for Visual Effects – should Livingstone; and Kuju Studios' range from the light-hearted to the ics and visual effects studio with an be in the same room as the guy who prove a fascinating insight into Adrian Hawkins will be talking mathematical, and this year’s event Academy Award-winning past, and a dressed Ian McKellen up in a polar some of today’s cutting-edge about the industry skills shortage looks to be no exception. future that includes franchises such as bear suit, this year’s Games and Media visual work. Plus, hopefully, more – and how you could plug it. You can check out the expected itin- Narnia, Batman and James Bond. But Event is not to be missed. clips of the bear. With more confirmations still erary to the right (“The Schedule So if you gave up hope of working in the In a similar vein, graphics and to come, your best bet to keep Far”) – although it is still provisional, film industry after you failed your Art The Games and Media Event is lighting company Geomerics will abreast is to visit http://www. the lineup already includes a wide array GCSE, this event could help show you scheduled for the 21st of May in be giving a talk on how academic doc.ic.ac.uk/game. You can also of industry coverage. that there are places there for scientists Imperial’s Huxley building. For research can be applied to indus- register for the event there, and The event, which falls on the 21st too. more information, surf to http:// tries such as gaming and graph- look back on previous lineups. May this year, may clash with the exam With previous events covering pro- www.doc.ic.ac.uk/game 32 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Technology Technology Editor – James Finnerty [email protected] Social networking evolved Headlines we couldn’t fit in Alistair Turnbull discusses social networking sites of the past, present and future

n the beginning there was Myspace. Microsoft backs It was new, fresh and exciting. The youth of the world flocked to this down from Yahoo site, connecting with their old Ifriends and making new ones. It takeover bid quickly became one of the most popular sites on the internet. People could add anything to their profile page, and unfor- tunately lots of people did. Most profiles Pole dancing became a nightmare of badly implement- ed HTML, garish colours and automati- kit coming to cally playing songs. But then along came Facebook; with its Nintendo Wii fancy AJAX interface and simple yet styl- ish design it became a second home for a generation of university students. The novel way of connecting people through events and tagging in photographs for- MP3 Trojan ever changed the way people interacted online. floods peer-2-peer Then in May 2007 Facebook intro- duced applications. While on Myspace networks most people spent their time staying in touch with friends and visiting band pages, Facebook’s applications added a whole new dimension to social network- ing. Almost overnight a plethora of ways Torrentspy forced to waste time arrived. Quizzes, games and hundreds of other applications for to pay $110m to your profile suddenly appeared, and with them came application invitations. An- MPAA noyingly, these work in a similar way to pyramid schemes, by rewarding users for bombarding their friends with in- 6pages.com: Think Digg meets Facebook with a splattering of content from across the Internet vites, who then often have to invite more friends to fully use the application. GTAIV breaks lots These days Myspace is becoming much an assertion which would remain eter- students at Harvard: so perhaps they are around Imperial College and the wider more like Facebook by giving people an nally true. They went away and discussed trying to emulate the same success. The world. However, unlike a traditional of records making updateable status and introducing appli- it and then came back with the phrase, site clearly sports a similar clean and in- newspaper or online news-site, everyone cations. This is mainly due to the fact that ‘This too shall pass’. All things change, for teractive feel to Facebook with all the ele- can be a writer on 6pages. The obvious lots of money Facebook’s user-base grows by hundreds better or for worse. Though in the tech- ments of the page flowing together. But is problem here is the possible low quality of thousands a day and in some coun- nological world, they generally get better. it anything else apart from another Face- of the content that Joe Bloggs might post, tries has many more active users. This is The huge growth of Facebook in a mat- book clone? perhaps talking about his new trainers bad news for NewsCorp who spent over ter of years shows how easily people will From testing the site, apart from all the or a video of his drunken mate, although $500million buying MySpace and have change between social-networking sites usual friends and groups, the main differ- through a system based on popularity, all Freesat launches yet to turn any meaningful profit. There- when something new comes along and ence seems to be the emphasis on user- the useless articles should just fade away fore, desperate to keep their users while there is no reason to think this won’t hap- generated articles which can contain into the bowels of the Internet, leaving across the UK they figure out how to make a profit, they pen again. Innovation drives the world news, funny Youtube links or anything only enjoyable content behind. have to resort to imitating features from we live in and sure as the sun will set, a else you might feel like sharing with the However, compared to the funded other sites. In my opinion, this won’t help. new social-networking experience will world. These are connected to the net- newspaper and website at Imperial, a site Both sites became popular because they arrive at some point. But in what shape work of the user (e.g. Imperial College). like 6pages.com would be free from any offered something new, and by copying will it come? Only popular articles then get filtered up restrictions on what could be published. Japan to tax MP3 Facebook, Myspace isn’t doing this. That No-one can know, but perhaps it could into larger networks (e.g. London) and This could lead to very vocal opinions is why I believe that in the future neither take the form of 6pages.com, created by finally to the national level for the whole about various parts/members/policies of players site will reign supreme. some of Imperial College’s own students. country to enjoy. the union, more anecdotal experiences It reminds me of a statement I carry It may seem like an insurmountable hill This could, perhaps, put it in compe- and generally a more ‘on the ground’ with me through life. As the story goes, to try and compete with massive cor- tition with Imperial’s CGCU-run news- view of life. This could be good reading King Solomon once asked his advisors for porations, but Facebook was created by website, Live, which reports on news for when people aren’t looking for ‘prop- er’ news. Home PCs Another interesting feature they have integrated into the site is the media cen- legalised in Cuba. tre, which brings together outside con- tent from news-sites, online TV streams Internet still and also online radio stations. While it contains all the obvious BBC services banned they also collate an interesting range of other services from ‘Martial Art TV’ to the latest news from ‘L’equipe’. It was ac- tually surprisingly useful to have all these services melded together so simply with EU launches no need to visit each site. Again, over time the most popular sources will be priori- public consultation tised to save users time, which appears to be a major aim of the site, to bring togeth- of roaming er lots of different Internet experiences in one place. regulations While 6pages may still have a few bugs and usability issues, it’s still in beta and can only improve. Ironing out the last few creases in this web of networks could end Google Executive up producing something very promising. A compelling mix between Facebook Elliot Schrage and Digg, squashed together with con- tent from all across the Internet. But don’t jumps ship and take my word for it, try it out yourself and see if you think it’s got what it takes to be joins Facebook Left: it all began with Myspace, and right: the mighty behemoth Facebook the next big thing. Friday 9 May 2008 felix 33

Fun & Games [email protected] Needy McNeedy: beating her chest since 7000BC She performs better than brain-enhancing drugs. Email your problems to: [email protected]

t turns out that selecting prob- I can’t stop eating! When I’m revising lems that don’t contain any ref- Oh dear. The crucial thing in this is Needy xxx the only thing I can think of to do for erences to exams from the bags that he will probably grade you on your a study break is eat… I munch on bis- of letters I receive every week is performance in bed. Think back to the Dear Needy McNeedy, cuits and cake and sweets all day. And I a full-time job. Frankly, I’m too night. If you did any of the following crisps. And I like to have a box of Mal- goddamn busy and important. So, last things: going on top, keeping on your I can’t sleep at night. I’ve just finalised tesers on the desk so I can nibble when week’s promise is retracted. Exams are high heels, using your mouth, then one of my exam papers and it’s got a I’m working. The problem is that I’m in. Welcome to the summer term. THE you’ll probably do quite well. If you question on it that I didn’t even hint starting to resemble a sumo wrestler ONLY THING REQUIRED OF YOU vomited on him, or kneed him in the at in any of the lectures I gave to the (when viewed from behind) but I just IN AN EXAM IS TO SIT IN A CHAIR balls accidently, then get revising for students. They’re all going to fail! My can’t stop. What’s the best way to lose FOR 3 HOURS AND REGURGITATE those exams; you’re going to need to wife says the stress is making me sweat revision weight? A SMALL PORTION OF KNOWL- make up the extra marks somewhere! If more, and she’s refusing to wash all my EDGE, YOU WORRYING SHITS. neither of you decided to make contact shirts on the grounds that they smell ChickenPie with each other after the event, then like cheese. How can I warn students of Dear Needy McNeedy expect the worse, although given that their impending exam disaster? Dear ChickenLickinPie, you were just some random Fresher, This might make me sound sluttish, but you can hope that he just can’t remem- Lecturer104 I can completely understand your pain; during Fresher’s Week, I had a one-night ber anything about that night. currently I’m eating for six. (Myself, stand with a really hot guy who I met at Dear Lecturer104, and five exams.) the union. I knew he wasn’t a fresher, Needy xxx Your main problem is those bastards but I didn’t know what department he Think you’re tired now? Wait until you who study so much they forget to eat, was in. It was fun, but we didn’t take reach hell. No, I’m kidding. Relish the as they lose weight during this tough it further than that – just a one-night Dear Needy McNeedy, fact that it’s not actually you taking the time and make the rest of us look bad. thing, you know? I’m now in my sec- exam, and buy some deodorant for the As a college we should work together ond year, and have just been assigned I found a 50p coin down the drain the sweat. You could email every student and pile on the pounds so that no indi- a massive project. I was introduced to other day. I was not best pleased. My individually with some hints. (*Clicks vidual looks bad. my demonstrator the other day, and it friend managed to find a £10 note! repeatedly on the refresh email but- You could take up smoking, which turned out to be… you guessed it… him. What did I do to deserve this? ton.*… please?) I’ve heard both reduces weight gain What shall I do? Do you have any tips and gives you a good reason to take lots for dealing with ex one-night stands? Unjustified Needy xxx of small breaks, although this probably isn’t the best time to start as I think CreamPie Dear Unjustified, they banned it or something? Dear Needy McNeedy, Dear CreamPie, Shut up. Needy xxx H to the o, r, o, sizzle copes – it’s the Horoscopes

Aquarius Taurus Leo Scorpio

This week the sun This week you trawl This week you find This week you have shines. College through last years your roommate an ‘80s and ‘90s celebrates this oc- Felix and notice indulging in a bands revival in casion by shipping something differ- bit of auto-self your departmental in 55 fine young ent. Really fucking asphyxiation. Your computer room. ladies from around hot page 3 models, initial apprehension No, really you will. the world. Where were they during the winter ooooh yeah. You go down to the Felix Office subsides and you tighten the knot of his Head to YouTube and check out the following: months, dammit, when I had nothing better and beat the Editor whilst screaming “Get tie, watching him groan with excruiciating Deacon Blue, Tears For Fears, The Outhere to do than wipe my snotty nose on the back of some fucking porno in the Felix, you cunt!”. ecstacy. You don’t stop there though. You lose Brothers, Curiosity Killed The Cat, S Club 7 my best friend’ss leeve?! Damn you College! He pokes you in the eye and you stumble control of your nimble fingers and the noose (especially the one where Bradley raps) Scritti Damn you for making me fall foul of your illu- blindly into a computer and electrocute your- slowly contacts around his neck. As he dies, he Politti, Johnny Hates Jazz, Jefferson Starship, sion, making me think this place is inhabitable! self. Serves you right for having an opinion. whispers “thank you...” A-Ha, Level 42 and of course Steps.

Pisces Gemini Virgo Sagittarius

This week it’s so This week you A few weeks after This week you go hot your pores start empty your this incident, having to Whole Foods to seaping spaff. You cupboard of all dodged police buy a watermelon. wander into the starch products questioning, you Ten fucking pounds Union’s kitchens onto your bed. You rediscover Pokemon you posh bastards. looking for a roll around in the and watch every As you lug it back refreshment but instead you find the DPFS crispy, flakey mess, dressed only in your Papa single episode that exists on alluc.org. Later in to Beit Quad, you suddenly have a great idea. hunting cockroaches on a skateboard. A quick Smurf outfit, however, you have turned an the day you dig out your shiny charizard, fetch You head back to Whole Foods, approach the judo chop to the neck and he’s rendered prone interesting shade of yellow instead of blue. It’s your roommate’s corpse from the cupboard mostly poshly dressed 60-year old in there and on the floor. Serves him right for inviting funny how choking yourself whilst watching and use his mouth as a container for nacho throw it as hard as you can at his groin. His co- Klaxons for a DJ set. We want to hear them Japanese-tentacle-rape-porn just doesn’t do it dipping sauce. lostomy bag bursts over the fine cheese coun- jam mannnnnnnnnnn. Nu-rave 4 life! Thug. for you anymore. Crunch-crunch-crunch! ter. Mmm, cheddar and stale urine. Mmm.

Aries Cancer Libra Capricorn

This week you Your illicit Later that week, This horoscope is attempt to reprint oncological your sister comes to a speed horoscope. part of L. Ron. treatment centre stay and you have I’m going to write Hubbard’s Dianetics was busted by the to hide the body the first things that in your newspaper... feds today. They just inside your mattress. come into my head don’t understand Sigh, there goes and see what hap- the blossoming love between a human-being a perfectly good bedside cabinet. Later that pens. Oh my god I just shot your mum with ... and a festering tumour. It would have been night you wander into your room finding your a crossbow. She’s now leaping around your less embarrassing if you hadn’t have been new roommate pile-driving your sister which kitchen yelping for her little tabby-cat Francis. wearing them when you were arrested like a makes the corpse roll onto the bedroom floor. That’s a mighty fine linoleum flooring you’ve ... Hello? big squelchy Michelen man. Next stop, prison, sonny Jim. got going on there. Mad props. 34 felix Friday 9 May 2008

Fun & Games [email protected]

Slitherlink 1,402 1,401 solution lines between the dots to create one common place to start on a Slith- long, and most importantly, looping erlink grid is by drawing crosses line. It should have no start or finish; around any zeros. Drawing crosses 1 2 20 just like an elastic band. is purely done to so that you know Each number indicates how many where there can’t possibly be a line. 2 2 2313 1 2 3 3 lines should be drawn around it, for So, take the pattern below as an ex- 2 2 2 3 1 example: ample. Begin by drawing crosses, 3 3 2 12 1 2 2 1111 2 2 then by filling in some lines: 1 2 2 3 22 2 2 3 1 3 1 0 2 2 11 x 101 3 2 3 122 Cells which don’t contain a number x x 1 1 1 0 1 can be surrounded by any number of 0 3 1 2 0 lines. x 13 22 Remember, the line must form a The winner of Slitherlink 1,401 was loop, so the line cannot branch. The Hringur Gretarsson at the 11th following situations are not allowed: 3 21 2 hour! Well done chap, that couldn’t Now the lines can only continue in have been any closer to the deadline. the following directions: 1 2 0 2 3 We’ll give a prize out in the summer. The more entries, the better your 2 2 3 2 2 2 2 chances. How to play: x 1 2 2 x 0 x 3 21 Crudely speaking, Slitherlink is simi- Squares are not allowed either. There x lar to Minesweeper mixed with a are never cells containing the number 3 33 33 dash of Sudoku. 4 in Slitherlink. The object of the game is to draw So, where do you start? The most

Wordoku 1,402 This week’s texts: “Once again, the Editor takes full responsibility for leaving the T F CatFone at home and hence, not being able to publish any texts that R A F C have arrived for this week’s issue. If you would like a refund, up to the sum of 10 pence per text, please S F O I do come to the Felix office and we will be more than happy to help I C O you out.* 1,401 Solution Wordoku is identical to Sudoku; C T R I we’ve just replaced numbers with S G A V M E T O L letters. Once you’ve completed 07980 148 785 E I S L V T O A S M G E the puzzle, there is a hidden word E M O L G T V S A to find. Email answers to sudoku. *Terms & Conditions apply. You . will be required to fill in a brief G L E T O V S A M [email protected] TEXT US! OR R A O C form stating that you accept full V A M S E G O L T The winner of Wordoku responsibility for whatever hap- T O S M L A G E V WE WON’T T E C R 1,401 was Oliver Burrell. pens to you or your personage upon A S L G T M E V O Shocking! The hidden word was: FEED THE CAT! entering the Felix office.” O T V E S L A M G MEGAVOLTS. Pat on the back C E M E G A V O L T S for all winning entries.

Crossword No. 1,402 Answers to: [email protected]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ACROSS DOWN I cannot apologize enough for last 1 Gradually getting better at walking 2 Leave Burgundy (6) week’s crossword numbering disaster. 9 after elf (9) 3 Dracula’s gymnastics make him My only consolation is the thought 9 Forgotten heartland collapses to lose an eye - an improvement?(6) that the five of you who bother do- 10 form cave (6) 4 Our sixth king was a Scandinavian ing the crossword on a regular basis 10 Pretty good in demonstrating warrior (6) probably did it anyway. At least, that 11 irritating others (9) 5 Heading northwards on more was the case with this week’s winner, 11 Ban a natural container of fruit(6) doesn’t impress (7) Sebastian Junemann. In any case, it 12 12 To mix with Communist centre of 6 A total collapse provides analysis won’t happen again. England(9) (9) 13 13 Lost a South African Ford(6) 7 Maine senator flattened by Enoch 17 Same Greek prefix is only at the appliance (5,4) 14 15 16 17 18 beginning (3) 8 Grifter manages to fool painter 19 Eπθ - A. What a description! (7) (3,6) 19 20 20 Force units to be shown a newt on 14 Emigrate North, somehow, to Solution to Crossword 1,401 standby (7) sprout buds (9) R C H A R L E S D A R W I N P 21 22 21 The bulrushes revealed her (3) 15 Hire a Conservative petitioner (9) A A A M E A N T 23 Play a half-note backwards to really 16 Shuffling about with fake jewellery 23 24 25 26 T A L L Y H O I I N S O F A R hit the low points (6) (9) O O S T C H L O 27 Mature stutterings about a 17 It is often written wrongly (3) M A G I R C I V I L S L I M P 27 philanderer (9) 18 A number (3) I E D O D T C I 28 Piss off a plant (6) 22 Calculate in Rome, now kindly C A N T E E N E L A S T I C 28 29 Spoil small simulations, in a way, start to fish (7) N O V U E A by a refusal to believe anything else 24 Bilingual bionic man reveals poetic U R C H I N S T O P I C A L 29 exists (9) England (6) C R L E E E L S 30 Little Ronald sat in the golden chair 25 Island shirt (6) L O O P A A M E N D U F A S T 30 (6) 26 Teacher sounds like he makes E S P I S A S O 31 Thin curve to bathe naked (9) sense, eh?(6) U P S T A R T R I N C I S O R 31 S E W I O R I M RE T R A N S C E N D E N C E MT Friday 9 May 2008 felix 35 [email protected] Sport Catching the last snow of the season Sam Champaigne reports on the Snowsports Club trip to Saalbach-Hintleglemm

happening each night of the week. the end of the week I was able to com- For instance, on the Sunday evening his year saw a respecta- ourselves in to our preferred mediums fortably ski reds (moderate difficulty) there was an hour-and-a-half long ble 39 students from IC morning. and we were away! The experience is and even attempt the odd black level firework-lit display from profes- make the journey to the I awoke to a beautiful day – the high- simply hard to put into words – pistes slope. Of course, skiing/snowboard- sional and semi-professional free- chosen venue of Saal- est peak, at just over 2000m, was shin- (French for ‘slopes’) are the marked, ing is not all about being able to race style skiiers and boarders (basically T bach-Hintleglemm (not ing bright in the fierce, spring sun. I maintained routes down the mountain down the slope at some stupid angle to an hour and a half of wondering who far from the Austro-German bor- slipped on my thermal undergarments, (which are patrolled throughout the the vertical, even if you just wanna play was going be airlifted first) followed der, near Munich), where we joined put on my waterproof jacket and trou- day) – they are very often as wide as a around a bit that’s all well and good. In by VJs ‘Urban Knightz’ playing live in more than 2,000 other students from sers, donned my thick socks and boots, dry ski-slope is long and can go on for fact, this Easter we had a significant the main square with plenty of clubs universities around Britain in antici- grabbed my skis and goggles and I was many miles, making skiiing down them number of complete beginners attend to go to afterwards if you fancied it pation of a week of great skiing (or ready for the day. (The skis and boots I is a blissful experience. On the ski trip – but remember, the snow’s best in boarding, if you’re into that), great at Xmas, being a novice, I spent my en- the morning! Every other night of partying and great experiences. tire time on pistes. 20 minutes later we “Skiing isn’t all the week was similarly exciting, the First, though, we had to get “The experience were at the bottom of the slope, keen most anticipated night of all being there. BUSC (British Universities to get back to the top of the mountain about going when the DJ trio ‘Scratch Perverts’ Snowsports Council) offers a frankly is simply hard to to do another run. Another run later were due to play – the hype was fantastic package which includes and it was just about time for my les- down a hill, right, a great night it was – hundreds 6 nights’ self-catered accommoda- put into words” son – I unclipped my skis and made of students in a packed venue jump- tion, a 6-day lift pass (quite a valu- my way through the town centre to the it’s about the ing around to some mean tunes. If able thing, it must be said) and travel had rented as an addition to the BUSC main congregation area. going out partying isn’t your thing, to and from the resort, all for £329. package and it is also easy to rent cloth- Regardless of your ability, I strongly socialising too” though, or you’re too tired from a At this price, one understands why ing and other equipment if the need recommend taking lessons – they are day of skiing/boarding, then no wor- travel consists of an exhausting, yet arises). A matter of minutes later six very good value (roughly £75 for 10 and I’m sure they won’t disagree with ries, there’s plenty of other things to always somewhat amusing, near-24 other students that I’d met on the bus = 2 hours a day for 5 days) and really me when I say that they all thoroughly do around the area - some nice res- hour coach journey (which might (all from IC in fact) and I were stepping help you to either simply learn to ski enjoyed themselves. taurants and even cinemas. have been longer had it not been into a lift cabin, skis and boards in hand, or hone your skills. As I’ve mentioned, As I’ve said, skiing/snowboarding So, in essence, my week @ BUSC for the Autobahn). However, in my preparing to be whisked up a mountain on the Xmas trip I was essentially a isn’t all about being able to race down consisted of plenty of skiing, plen- opinion this is all part of the fun – where we would begin our first run of complete novice, barely even able to the slope, far from it – a big part of ty of partying and plenty of new it is here where you meet the people the week. A few seconds to admire turn – but because of a combination BUSC is the socialising. Indeed, as friends. A typical ski trip certainly that you’ll be skiing / boarding with the splendid panoramic views at the of lessons in the morning and practic- soon as you arrive you are issued with doesn’t come cheap, but that’s where for the rest of the week – equally, you top of the mountain before we clipped ing what I’d learnt in the afternoon, by a calender of events, detailing what’s BUSC is different – with a starting also quickly realise who you won’t be price of £329 and considering what – being woken at 4 in the morning as a truly fantastic week you’ll have, it’s we were peacefully cruising through very easy to justify the price in my the French countryside by a drunken opinion. Plus the fact that it’s the Southampton Uni student who sim- first week of a long easter break just ply couldn’t contain his delight at the makes it the perfect thing to look unspoiled environment, didn’t rate forward to. him terribly highly in my books, it And if you can’t wait that long and must be said. As cliché as it sounds, you want some relief after the Au- though, the journey really isn’t that tumn term, the Snowsports society bad and as soon as you start seeing will be running their annual Winter the white stuff gradually becoming trip with prices strarting from £300 more and more concentrated on (incl. travel, accommodation and lift the winding ascent up to the resort, pass). We’ll also be running dry-ski you can’t help but forget your tired- slope lessons and trips to the Mil- ness. If it weren’t for the fact that it ton Keynes indoor artificial snow was dark when we arrived, I’m sure slope throughout the year. For more a lot of us would have been out on information and signing up, please the slopes as soon as we arrived. In- visit www.sfahdsfhasjf.com or add stead, we settled for a quiet pint of me (Sam Campaigne) or any of the Stiegl (the ubiquitous, probably-bet- snowsports committee on Facebook. ter-that-our-most-expensive, lager) Have a great summer and hope to and an early night in preparation see you there! for catching the first lift on our first The gang enjoying the warmth of the indoors Send in your sport reports: felix [email protected] sport High resolution photos only The end of the season

Snowsports Club report on their latest trip to the pistes, see page 35

Imperial host first inter-uni Wushu competition

Adam Omar which brought with it energetic per- due to the lack of competitors in this the all-round award, having achieved Sport Imperial and to our sponsors - formances from Queen Mary, King’s event, all three competitors were from 2 gold medals and 1 silver medal, the IC Trust, Oriental City Supermarket, On the 30th of March the IC Wushu College, and Leeds Metropolitan. The Imperial. No prizes for guessing which highest among all competitors. China Arts and New World Chinese Society held the first ever inter-univer- event was won by Mitchell Pallet of university won that event. It is hoped that this will become a restaurant. A big thank you to you all. sity Wushu competition in the main Queen Mary who is also the current The advanced categories, however, yearly event from now on. We were After all, it’s not about winning med- sports hall of Ethos. A total of nine GB southern sword champion. were simply amazing. Both the long very impressed with the spirit of als, it’s about getting out on that car- universities and nineteen competitors After the power and shouting of Nan and short weapon events showed the competition displayed by everyone pet and doing the best you can. As Jet took part in what is hoped to be the Quan came a welcome peace in the skill and athleticism of some of the present. Li’s character Huo Yuan Jia said in the first of many such competitions. The form of Taiji (that’s the proper pinyin UK’s best. Both events were won by We’d also like to thank everyone that movie Fearless , “Through competition competitors fought for medals in nine way of spelling Tai chi). Shaopeng Li Scott Pallet of King’s College, current made this event possible: the Union, we can discover ourselves”. categories which included open hand, of Imperial received the gold thanks to GB national team member with two weapons, fight sets, taiji, and tradition- his masterfully performed routine. high-flying, amazing routines. al forms. The traditional category came next. The competition ended with the Dui Having spent most of the day before This proved to be really interesting Lian (fighting set) category. Imperial hauling around more than half a tonne and was the category with the most were up first, with Adam and Jamshid of mats and carpets, the Imperial team competitors, performing a variety of and their largely improvised made-up- were understandably fatigued. Still, we routines from different branches of at-lunch-time spear vs. three section all arrived early and excited. The huge Chinese martial arts. Luke Sanders of staff fight. Next came the team from carpet was laid out in the middle of the Southampton University amazed eve- University of East Anglia. They per- sports hall looking quite majestic. For ryone with his Di Tang Quan (Ground formed a long and highly imaginative those who have no idea what competi- boxing) which involved painful-looking spear vs. empty hand fight. However, tive Wushu is, athletes perform various falls and flips. The gold went to Allan victory went to the combined LSE-IC routines on a 14m by 8m carpet. The Martin of Imperial who performed a duo Zoe and Liane Athill with their carpet is there mostly for safety, since powerful rendition of Da Hong Quan, spear vs. double swords fight, in which landing in splits or on knees can be a Shaolin form. Liane suffered a slight facial injury. quite painful on a wooden floor. Ath- After the lunch break we were treated While waiting for the award-giving letes were given a warm-up area at the to a performance by Sam Mak, the cur- ceremony, Sam Mak graced us with an- side of the hall to stretch and prepare. rent world junior straightsword cham- other demonstration, this time he per- After a brief speech from the head pion. He displayed a level of Wushu formed an excellent drunken straight- judge, the competition began at rarely seen in the UK. sword routine. around 11am with Chang Quan (long Next came the advanced long and At the end, all the athletes lined up fist). Imperial scored one silver and short weapons, intermediate weapons on the carpet according to university. one bronze. This was followed by the and taiji sword categories. Intermedi- The medals and certificates were given Nan Quan (southern fist) category, ate weapons was a rather odd category; out and Imperial’s Shaopeng Li bagged A spear versus empty hand fight from the East Anglia team