.:t ~i ~','J: l:t;~ =II u c 5 D UCLA'. ChMcellor • May Lose Bonu... LOS ANGELES - UCLA Chancellor Charles Young 's $150,000 retirement bonus is not in jeopardy, but two other bonuses worth up to $1 oo,()()() - part of what Young calls , his "golden handcuffs" - are, according to UC spokesman UCSAN DIEGO I, Terry Colvin. The retirement MONDAY, APRIL 1996 VOLUME 88, ISSUE I bonus is part of the chancellor's 1986 contract with the university , while the others are part of a second UCLA Favors Top Officials, Donors contract signed in 1991 . According to Colvin, Young ADMISSIONS: The Times first reported on March anyone with clout, such as legislators made special requests included Re­ tands to lose the additional 16 that several UC regents and top or school principals, carry special gent Meredith Khachigian, who suc­ bonuses by retiring before School repeatedly gave state officials had used their influence weight. ceeded in reversing her daughter's 1999, the date agreed upon in preference to elite to get relatives, friend and children "People who come from disad­ rejection from UCLA; Regent Frank the second contract. Young of business partners admitted to UCLA vantaged backgrounds, who are black Clark, a former bank director who announced in February that he By Terry Lew - sometimes in lieu of better quali­ and Latinos, didn't have thai kind of intervened on behalf of the son of a would relire in 1998. Associate News Editor fied applicants who were turned away. weight to carry," Carmona told the bank vice president; Board of Re­ - The Daily Bruin The University of California pref­ According to the Times, more than Times. gents Chair Clair Burgener, whose erential admissions "scandal" deep­ 80 past and present public officials Regent Leo Kolligian made the lellerofrecommendation fora friend's OU Student Use. enedon March 26 when the LosAnge­ made hundreds of requests over the most requests of any regent, accord­ daughter won her admission to UCLA les Times reported that slate elected last 15 years, either directly to UCLA ing to the Times investigation. as a ophomore; and Regent Bill Stun Gun to Escape officials have made hundreds o'f UC administrators or through UC lobby­ Kolligian made 32 requests, the most Bagley, who tried unsuccessfully to NORMAN, Okla. - A admissions requests over the last de­ ist Stephen Arditti in Sacramento. recent coming in 1990 for the son of a get the sister of a top state GOP legis­ University of Oklahoma cade through the university 'S Sacra­ UC Regent Ralph Carmona told longtime friend and bu ine partner. lative aide admilled toa UCLA gradu- tudent said she was stalked mento lobbying office. the Times that admissions requests by Other regents and officials who See UCLA, Page 8 and nearly kidnapped from a Texaco station on March 27, but that she was able to use a stun gun on her assailant to escape. The 18-year-old victim SCENE OF THE CRIME Racist Graffiti said she noticed a man watching her earlier that day, MarsUCSD and that she drove to the gas station after class to call a friend, She said the man Parking Lot approached her from behind while she was on the phone, pulled her close and forced her RETAUAnON?: Union to walk with him. She said her claims graffiti is related to attacker punched her in the grievance hearing face to make her stop strug­ gling, but that she was able to By Terry Lew get her stun gun out and shock Associate News Editor his right hand. She then ran to The University Professional Technical her car and called the Norman Employees (UPTE) union called a press con­ police. Police said they are ference March 22 to denounce racist epithets currently looking for the which had been scrawled on a curb in the attacker but have no leads. Clinical Sciences Building parking lot on .::... The Oklahoma Daily March 20. Lab Assistant Brenda Sanders was the first Students Protest person to discover the graffi ti , which included Tenure Process swastikas and slogans such as "Hail Hillier" DURHAM, N.C. - About 150 [sic 1, "White Power,""F uck Niggers," "KKK" tudents demonstrated on March and "Kill All Niggers." 28 outside a Duke University "When I came in the morning, it wasn't admini stration building to there," Sanders said. "When I left at 4: 10 protest the denial 01 tenure to a [p.m.], it was. I've never seen any graffiti as popular prol'c sor and to lobby long as I've been working here, and it's been for a greater student voice In the over 20 years." ten ure process. Aboul 70 Sanders said she discussed the Incident ~ tudents filed into the Allen wit h a frie nd and then decided to ca ll the police Building after the ra lly, where Hate crIme: UCSD Lab Assistant Brenda Sanders shows re porters the curb where, on the next morning. March 20, she discovered racist slurs written in crabapple juice. "When I came out, ISanders1 was talking to they discussed the issue wi th I university Provost John the policemen," Lab Assistant Evelyn Grant Strohbehn and PreSident an said. "When I walked over, I saw pretty much Keohane. Strohbehn and the same thing. I didn't go any further becaut: I UCSD Staff-Stung by New Jersey C~nvicts I was afraid to see what was down there." Keohane gave their support 10 the assembled student , but Grant added that he felt targeted because noted thaI the administration has In Seven-Year Telephone-Billing Scam she and everal other African-American em­ lillie input in granting tenure to ployees consi tenlly park in the same area and faculty members. WARNING: Prison officials' call charges from the operator by claiming it is a work certain hou rs. - The Chronicle "police emergency." "If they had put it anywhere el e, 1 could efforts to end the scam have According to UC Berkeley Police Captain Bill say it was a random act," she said. "But to put 1~~"1I.) =II. been unsuccessful Foley, after the victim accepts the collect charges, it right where we park every day, where we the perpetrator then requests to be transferred by would see it, that's aying something." By Anand Patel the victim to a 1-800 number. This number is UPTE President Jelger Kalmijn claimed Staff Writer typically a long-distance company's automated the graffiti was related to a hearing in which During recent years, a few ingenious convicts service for billing to a third party, much like 1- several Office of Animal Resources (OAR) locked up in the New Jersey state pri on system 8oo-COLLECT or I 800-CALLATT. employees accused the department's manage­ have been "reaching out and touching" more people From this 800 number, the caller can make ment of racism and retaliation. than prison officials would like. long-distance calls charged to the victim's ac­ "While at this time we do not know who A community-alert bulletin forwarded by UC count because the carrier bills only the number perpetrated this act, it is highly [suspect] that BA'rrLE Berkeley Police on Wed., March 7 stated that for which initiated the transfer. the day we are in' trial with the management of the past seven years, people at several UC cam­ "The number [the phone company's computerj this department, these racist slogans get painted OPINION: The Mt. Soledad puse , including UCSD, have been victimized by sees is the number which transferred the call," around [the employee' carsj," Kalmijn said. cross further the separation long-distance telephone scams originating from a Foley aid, "so the saspect has paid nothing and is "We're not saying that they did it; wedon't of church and state debate 4 New Jersey correctional facility. in the long-distance system." know who did it - but on the other hand, In the scam, the caller identifies himself as a Foley described another scam in which a caller where it was on the curb is where these people .'ORT.: Track and law-enforcement official from New Jersey and uses a victim' voice mail to subsequently gain always park. We don't think that thi i a Field hosts the bigge t attempts to convince the victim to accept collect- See HOAX, Page 3 See RACIST, Page 8 tournament of the year. 24 2 NEWS The UCSD Guardian Monday, April I, 1996 Monday, April I, 1996 The UCSD Guardian NEWS 3

said police have been receiving two M1hou... the wanled me to Ilansfer him; ] just re- give a number to charge the call to," Molecular Genetics: HOAX: UCSD to three complaints regarding these member trying to transfer him some- Tracy said. '''That is where you are ETCETERA. • • police receive 10 fraudulent calls every day since the t ...... where," O'Sullivan said. "[The call] committing fraud; if you are just giv- release of the communi,y-alert bul- compa"_ absorb was very confused and convoluted." ing them anybody's phone number." A Moral Quandary? complaints of fraud letin. She said that when she told the Tracy declined to comment fur- Foley said he believes phone tile costs [of caller that she was unable to execute ther about 1-800 phone scams, but GENES: UCSD Professor Philip Kiteher's new Continued from Pace 1 fraud is a common practice in a fraudu..... calla], In the transfer, he never called back warned that telephone fraud is pun- book discusses the impacts of scientific progress access tOM outside line. From there, number of correctional institutions. tile ..... It Is you .nd again. 0' Sullivan added that if this ishable by a maximum sentence of the caller can make long-distance calls He added that con mists often tar- collect call appears on her phone 15 years in prison and a $50,000 AA"i "OU "OT'cto By Iv .. Delventlull ence, where it'~ headed and to get lilt: FI6HT T~E billed to the voice-mail number. get businesses and uni versities be- I who hay. to pay bill, she will not pay it. fine. She also declined to comment NrNs Editor behind both the positive rheloric s"""'~ FI(o~ "Unfortunately, since it is all cause these institutions have numer- According to Administrative about any preventive measures 001.- A"~ OIIflt tllrou... hI ...... ]s testing a fetus for blue eyes and negative criticisms thlt often computerized, [the system]just sees ous phone lines and are equipped Computing and Telecommunica- which have been taken to guard "GA,"? t.1ephone rat... " or I,;urly hair and aborting healthy go along with it, and to give a real­ --" a phone that is dialing a number, with internal phone systems which tions (ACT) Assistant Director of against fraudulence. 'Ictuses who do not possess these istic picture of what we are likely to even though physically, nobody is allow transferring. - Bill Foley Customer Services Ann Hanson, Foley believes that to discourage qualities ethically wrong? Should expect," Kilcher said. there to dial it," Foley said : According to UCSD Police Ser- UC Berkeley Police Captain charges for fraudulent phone calls fraudulence, some phone compa- job applicants' genetic informa­ 'Then I try 10 lake up some of Foley explained that police even- geant Bob Jones, his department has , are picked up by the long-distance nies now have recordings which tell tion, such as suSceptibility to dis­ the issues that are going to be with tually traced the calls on the phone received 10 comp1ainlS of fraudu- reading the bulletin. She sa id that in carrier. the recipient of a collect call where ease, be made avail- us immediately, bills to several New Jersey state lent calls at UCSD since the release mid-January she received four phone Hanson said that the ACT busi- the call originate . Also, they have able to potential em­ issues like how prisons. of the bulletin. ClIJ1S within the span of one hour ness and finance department - blocked long-distance capabilities ployers? Are efforts are we going to According to New Jersey State "I believe (the fraudulent callers] which resembled the types of fraudu- which operates the phone system at on some phones, such as public pay to genetically re­ do genetic test­ Department Director of Communi- call large public institutions because lent calls described in the bulletin. UCSD - is trained to investigate phones. He said he also believes fashion ourselves ing, what's this cations Bob McHugh, while New they are more susceptible to accept- According to O'Sullivan, an op- anomalies in phone bills and to com- that phone companies now require and our descendants going to mean in Jersey prison inmates have carried ing these collect charges on a routine erator asked her if she wanted to municate with the long-distance car- third-party verification on long-dis- intrinsically wrong? terms of dis­ out phone scams in the past, state basis and [the charges) would just accept collect charges from a police riers to determine whether fraudu- tance calls billed to a third party. These are just a cri minllion, correctional facilities have since become lost in the system," Jones officer, whom she assumed was a lent calls have been made. 'Though the telephone compa- few of the questions what's the role of been equipped with "a telephone said. "If you receive calls like this campu s police officer. Hanson also said that prior to the nics absorb the costs lof fraudulent raised by UCSDphi­ DNA in Ihe system that makes [the scams] im- from a correctional institution, and After she accep!ed the call, the release of the bulletin, she was not ca lls], in the end it is you and I who losoph)' Professor courtroom ... and possible." they are asking you to accept collect- su pect "spoke quickly and identi- aware of the 1-800 phone scam. have to pay through higher tele- phone rate ," Foley added. Philip Kitcher in his MWe •• Inthe 1.0 come to terms McHugh declined to comment call charges ... do noL." fied himself as being from a New AT &TCorporate Security Inves- new Iy released book with some of the' on the specifics of the telephone UCSD Literature department Jersey correctional institution."The ti gator Beth Tracy also said she was Anyone who believes they have entitled, The Lives IIIlddie of • long-term, deep­ system and the manner in which it staff member Kelly 0 ' Sullivan, a call er aid he was a police officer unawarc of the scam. received a fraudulent phone call is To Come: The Ge­ sclentltlc est and most prevents fraudulent phone calls. victim of the New Jersey phone and requested to be transferred. "If you dial an 800 number thai urged to contact Bob Jones at 534- M/ic Revolution and challenging is­ A Berkeley Police staff member scam, contacted police shortly after "I don't remember where hc reaches an operator, you sti II have to 4359. Human PosJ'ibili ­ reYolutlon, • sues about how litIs. tnlnsforllUltlon we think about The book, pub­ medicine, how lished a month-and ­ of our Id ... we think about a-half ago, seeks to about nature our lives, how we shed new light on think about shap­ SERVING UCSD for 15YEARS! Welcome Back! the rapidly develop­ whoM only ing future lives." 12 min. from UCSD ing field of molecu­ equivalents ar. Kitcher, a on Miratrllr ROMi lar genetics, as well the birth of UCSD philoso­ LJo_ ...... Or. as some of the diffi­ phy professor. • I !'U!i1 ACUAA muda Hyundal It's time to start t:ult et hical and and genetics ex­ IIIOdern setenc. ,~ "CT G.o - I8UZU Acura Dllllallu moral dilemmasthat pert, has written In the 17th Excellent our custonHnl advances in this four previous ~ ""'"1Ce1 from utI.ned field will necessar­ century and the books on the his­ thinking about the ... ily bring in thecom­ upheayals In tory and philoso­ .BRIEFLY ••• ing years. phy of science, .=:r- ~~~!!.~!~J?!Pn~~~ "We are in the physic. of the among them 1. Spark plugs 5. Check lind r8plenish all fluid middle of a scien ­ 2. Disiribulor points lind oillevela early 20th Abusing Science: Attorney Discusses Affmnative Action 3. CondentoII 6. AdJUSI dwell angle tific revolution, a century." Tire Case Againsl G. 4. AdIUSlIiming 7. Check bfale" transformation of Creationism, Tire Percy Sutton, a UC Regents ' lecturer for Spring Quarter chemistry. our ideas about na­ - Philip Kltcher Nalure of Malh. and noted civil-rights attomey froni New York City, will Crutzen, together with UC Irvine Professor F. Sherwood ture whose only Professor and 'Author ematica/ Knowl- discuss "Affirmative Action and the Struggle for Civil Rowland and Massachusetts Institute of Technology Pro­ 3S-point Major Service Special equiva lents are the The Lives to Come edge, Vall/ling Rights· in a public lecture today at 4 p.m. in the RIMAC fessor Mario Moline, won 'the Nobel Prize for work in Extra for fwI ",,«:ted. OuT ",./Cr tun.-up Include.: Courses begin June 15 for the August exam. Green Room. atmospheric chemistry. He is director of the atmospheric birth of modern sci- Ambitioll: Socio­ 1. Comprellion 1811 11 . Adjust liming 20. Lube Iront end ..... 1110 Early Access Options Available. • . I The lecture is part of a series c~sponsored by the chemistry division of Germany's Max Planck Institute fo r 2. Valve adjUllment 12. Adjust dwell angle 21 . Check & replenish all 28. Ct.ck lind recharge batt.rles en~c In tIe 17th century and the biology and Ihe Qllest for Human Chancellor's Committee on the Status of Women , which Chemistry and c~founderofthe Scripps Center for Clouds, Replace: 13. Ad(ust catlKnlOl fluid & oil IeIlGIS 29. AoIaIe lires (if Meded) uphea va ls in physics of the early Nall/re , and Tire Advancement of seeks to educate the campus and the San Oiego commu- Chemistry and Climate (C4). 3. Valve COYer gael(eI 14. Adjust air & fuel ralio 22. Check el8C1r1cal 30. Check lire pressure Sign up by May 1 and get a $100 discount. nity on issues of equity and access to work. . (~nHded) mixture fuses 31 . Lube door hinge. 20lh century," Kitcher writes in Science. 4. Splllll plugs. 15. Adjust steering box 23. Check for loose & 32. Check all hOlders Sutton, a longtime civi~rights organizer and activist, . the opening chapter of his new While Kitcher does not "pre­ UCSD'. Carillon Honors Provost 5. Distributor points. 16. Adjust clutch lost bob 33. Ched< COOling system & hoses book . tend to offer" hard and fast olu­ received the Spingam Medal from the National Association 6. Condensors. 17. Adjust brak" 24. Check brakes 34. Check exhaust syslem for the Advancement of Colored People "for exceptional Elll8lltu.Stew.t During AprIl 7. Air fiNer. 18. AdjUS1 emergency 25. Check clutch 35. Road lest Kitcher wrote The Lives to tions to all of the questions he raises brakes courage and leadership in advancing civil rights in the The Institute for Continued Learning/Irene Rubinger 8. Oil fj~er , 26. Check lights 9. Gas filter, and 19. Check & adJUSI 27. Check undercarroage _... _----T_ .... ClJme aftcr being invited a few in The Lives 10 Come, one of hi s American Society. " Memorial Carillon, located atop UCSO 's Geisel Library, will 10. Engine oil exposed beNs for damage -_ _-_. years ago 10 evaluate Ihe implica­ ...... principal goals is to elicit further Sutton founded the Inner City Broadcasting Corp. and toll throughout the month of April in honor of Muir College - -- tions of the Human Genome Project discussion on the future ofgenelic~ IS currently the company's chairman emeritus. He was a Provost Emeritus John Stewart. Complete Brake Job for thl: Li iJrary or Congrcs~ , The research. member of the New York State Legislature, and is on the Today at noon, UCSD graduate student composer Kitty $159* $34* projct:t is a massive global research "Devising beller ways to focus goveming board of the A~sociation for a Better New York. Pappas will perform an original piece dedicated to Stewart. Clutch Job Special Reg . .. The work was commiSSioned by the UCSO Alumni Associa­ Front « reM. StaIr. Job 1nt:IutIN: error! 10 map all th e genes in the the aims of medici ne and to frame W. repIM»: I. Tron .... ioeoon input ohaft MOl tion, the UCSO Oepartment of Music and UniverSity 2. ",-,,, pi.. S. Plio< t..ing 1.1_ opec:/II now poocII Of s. __IDrll" 1'/- Courses begin April 27 for the June 10 exam. human body. the ocial conlext of medical prac­ UCSD Nebel Plt»Wlnnlng 3. CIu\cII cite 6 .... ~_.. ion oil _I r_ b..... __ 8. MIuol Iron! I~ drumo) and Carilloneur Scott Paulson. 4. ThrOMlUl _ing 1 Ra.;Itwt 2. Drlin Old __ _ rNt ""- The Lives /0 Come is simulta­ tice is a critical task in allowing Profeuor to Speak at ScrIpps Paulson will perform a retrospective of all the pieces _:,.,....._ ...... _. 3. InopocI c:ompIoIo ".,...... '" 7. ~ Iron!, ___ iH Materials include 14 released LSAT exams. neously an informative book de­ molecular mcdicine to fulfill its __ .,-, <*t. IUIn) Scripps Institute of Oceanography Adjunct Professor composed for UCSO's carillon each weekday at noon, ...... 4.A.ttII".,...... _ 1. __ tailing the currenl state of research promise," Kitcher writes. Paul Cwen, winner of the 1995 Nobel PrIze In chemistry, includi~ worl

------.... ------... ------.- .-.-- ... ---.- ...... --~.---- .. ------.. ~ ----.---.~-----.------~----- .------4 OPINION The UCSD Guardian "Monday, April 1,1996 Monday, April I, 1996 The UCSD Guardian OPINION 5 COMMENTARY: Although mudslinging has long been a staple of American elections, politicians and their cronies have developed new strategies to defame their opponents PINION PLAYING DIRTY IN THE POLITICAL ARENA By Christi_ Baine labeled a "sure loser" who couldn 't stance, offer the easiest access to the ensure they are opened. The mail is Staff Writer pick up any votes. Andrew viewing public. Before you can effective because letters and pam­ Mudslinging is as American as Jackson's bid for the presidency in even find the remote between the phlets can be directed to the most apple pie and b~eball. That's not the election of 1828 was met with couch cushiolls, some greasy poli ­ recepti ve audience, based on politi ­ to say that it doesn't go on in other accusations that his wife, Rachel, tician has already invaded your liv­ cal demographics. Though this type countries as well, where govern­ was a bigamist, and that he, there­ ing room and completely demol­ of mudslinging does not appear to ment officials oftcn rely on the fore , was an adulterer. Jackson won ished the moral character of his op­ be very widespread, Larry Sabato, whim ical and changeable nature of anyway, but it seems the slress was ponent, au thor of several books on modern the electorate for their jobs. How­ too great for Rachel, who died just Just before last Christmas, GOP campaign techniques, terms it "the ever, politicians in thi s country have a few weeks after the eleclion. hopeful Lamar Alexander decided silent killer." taken mudslinging to an all-time Besides using mudslinging to that enough was enough. He aired a The newest mode of mudsling­ RELIGIOUS high - or low, depending on how make themselves appear less mor­ new televi sion commercial con­ ing scurries along the phone lines. PREFERENCE THE MOUNT cy ni cal you are. There are now even ally corrupt than their opponent, Before you can even demning the juvenile antics of Sena­ The "push poll" is a survey used to politically correct terms for mud­ candidates often use it (0 avoid tor Phil Gramm and Malco lm find the vulnerabilities of opposi ng remote SLIGHTS OTHERS SOLEDAD - slinging, such a~ "negative search." weak points in their platforms. It find the "Steve" Forbes, Jr. Al exander candidates. In the 1992 New Hamp­ That candidates must expose makes sense that a Republica n between the couch scoffed at the pairs ongoing televi ­ shire Republica n primary, George istorically, America has been known for their opponent 's adolescent short­ would criti cize hi s Democratic sion debate over Gramm 's record on Bush campai gners ca lled hundreds its acceptance of all religions. And while CONTROVERSY comings I, ludlcrou,. Fo r in tance, opponent 's views on taxation In or­ cushions, some laxes, say ing that hi s two opponents of women in the area and read them thi s .lation's law ~ allow the open prac· aCl:using an opponent or inhaling il ­ der to draw allention away from hi s gr_y politician has more closely resembled candidatt;s Pat Bucha nan 's remark questioning ti ce of all kinds of religions, they also li cit drugs is nothing more than a unpopular views on abortion. ru nOin g for president of the fifth the fitness of women to have ca­ prevent the government from outwardly revelation or yo uthful ex uberance Sometimes, mudslinging IS the already Invaded grade , instead of th e country. Of ree rs. Afterwards, the campaigners supporting anyone of them . However, and experimentation. uch an accu­ on ly way a candidate can usurp the your living room and course, Alexander's co mmerCial asked the women if they were now this policy ha~ virtually never been enforced AS EASTERAPPROACHES, CHRISTIANS sation docs not reveal how compe' scat of an almost unassailable in­ completely amounted to little more than mud­ more or less likely to vote for ~i nce the law~ of thi S land were written over 200 year~ lent the candwate would be in of­ cumbent. Political newcomers can slinging, but we ' ll just ignore that Buchanan. eed less to say, the ma­ ago . Christianity was and continues to be the U.S. AND ATHEISTS CONTEND OVER THE fice. A candidate should not be promote their stances on volatile demolished the right now. jority of women answered with a govcrnmcnt 's unofficial rcligion of choicc. o,triclzed from the electi on due to issues, such as the ''Three Strikes" moral character of Another increasingly pop ul ar resounding "no." In particular, we see thc government's preference acc usations which are blown out of law or capital punishment, by ma­ method of negative campaigning is Today, a mutation of the ori gi­ for Christianity in it's efforts to kee p the Mount CONSTITUTIONALITY OF THE CROSS proportion. nipul ating statistics to show the in- . his opponent. fo und in the mailbox . Mail propa­ nal "pu h poll" is occurring within Soledad cross from being rcmoved. The cross, whi ch Mudsli ngin g has gone hand-in· effectiveness of th e incumbent's this approach is hardly credible: Stu­ ga nda has long been a means of the last 48 to 72 hours of,a poli tica l was dedicated to the ci ty on Easter Sunday, 1954, by OVERLOOKI,NG SAN DIEGO hand With American poh ti cs si nce methods. This type of "negative tiSliCS can always be manipulaled to fu ndrai sing. Today, however, Ihe race. " uppresslOn" ph

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6 OPINION The UCSD Guardian '. Monday. April I. 1996 Monday. Apri I I. 1996 The UCSD Guardian 7 access to a forum close to the seat sage to adherents that they are in- est in preser'4ng a religious symbol SYMBOL: of government... would violate the A •• III""'" siders. favored memben of a politi- than in honoring our war veterans. Cross represents Establishment Clause .... And one doee not n•• d to cal community." Again, the cross on further demonstrating the religious religious intolerance can conceive of a case in which a utlllz.... Mount Soledad is an endorsement favoritism granted to Christians. governmental entity manipulates its of religion by the government .. Not only is it unconstitutional un- Continued from lNCe 4 administration of a public forum ... a,...,.,.e of .., therefore making the monument der both the state and federal law to ing functions at the scenic Mount in such a manner that only certain unconstitutional. have the cross on public land. but Soledad site. For example. it is religious groups take advantage of pa lleul. r ..l .... A war memorial does not need the city has manipulated the order doubtful Jews would stage a reli - it. creating an impression of en- to honor V...... to utilize the symbols of any par- to preserve a public park surround- gious event on Mount Soledad with dorsement.. .. " ticular religion to honor veterans. ing a huge religious symbol. a symbol contrary to their entire Mount Soledad is a "public fo- Supreme Court found that any They can be honored by the ser- A government that favors one belief system looming high above rum" which is manipUlated by the "preference" for certain religious vice th~y have given. not by the religion, whether overtly or co- thern . presence of a cross to create an at- beliefs constitutes an endorsement religious beliefs they espouse. It vertly. is a danger to a democratic The Constitution and numerous rnosphere of which only certain re- of religion, which is unconstitu- is a mistake for San Diego to con- society. Preserving a religious sym- Supreme Court ru lings have delined Ii gious groups can take advantage. tional. In Lynch v. Donnelly, Justice tinue to offend the many veterans bol near public lands through favor- religious preference or favoritism as While the park is theoretically open Sandra Day O'Connor's concurring who are not Christian by denying itism and closed-door bargaining is unconstitutional. In 1995. after re- to any group that applies for a user opinion argues that any endorse- the legitimacy of their beliefs. If a gross injustice to the people of San viewing Capitol Square Review and permit. many groups are discour- ment of religion is invalid because the cross was intended to honor Diego. The cross on Mount Soledad Advisory Board v. Pinetle, Carr and ar.ed from doing so because the it "sends a message to the non-ad- war veterans. it has failed its pur- should be removed to demonstrate the Ku Klux Klan. the Supreme cross encroaches upon their reli - herents that they are outsiders. not pose and should be replaced by a that the illicit relationship between Court decided that "giving sectar- gious beliefs. fu ll members of the political com- more filling memorial. American government and Chris- ian religious speech preferential In Edwards v. Aguilar. the U.S . munity; and an accompanying mes- The city has shown more inter- tianity has been dissolved. - =- method the city needs to employ. one The Christians are vice in the park. We must remember day. EGO TRIP: must consider that most of the time that the First Amendment also pro- Finally. no one is forced to attend Irons misinterprets the park is not reserved for anyone. simply aldng to hibits the government from restrict- the Mount Soledad service. Even if First Amendment and people can vi sit whenever they ing the free exercise of religion. Dc- someone does not wish to attend. he please. Potential problems arise when r.MI'Y..... ~ nyi ng a permit to an organization is not forced to sing. pray. sign a con- Continued from pace 4 a group desires to reserve the park for for two hours out which wanted to hold a religious ser- fession of faith or otherwise commit And why would the city attorney a particular function, because it must vice would also appear to violate the to a matter of conscience. All he is be so complicit in a scheme to deprive first apply for a permit from the city of the entire y... First Amendmenl. required to do is shoW"COUrtesy and San Diegans of an opportunity to to use the public park . The applica- The atheists could But we've now run into a para- respect for the proc,eedings. gather for worship? The reason is that tion for the permit probably include dox within the Constitution; how can Given these reasons,iron's asser- there is a sizable body of constitu- questions about how the park is to be obtain a permit it be resolved without simply Hipping tion that •'r atheists] have as much right tional law which reputedly indicates used, at what times and for how many for the Saturday a coin? There are many reasons to to use parks on Easter as any other it would be illegal for the city to re- people. From this infonnation. the city give the permit to the Mount Soledad group" is laughable at the least and serve the park for religious services, decides whether to grant the permit. before Easter or Memorial Association rather than to pathetic at the worst. preventing citi7..ens like Irons from Db- But suppose for a moment that the for later In the the atheists. Fin!, Easter is obviously Inevitably within a democracy, the taining a permit. Such an action is city must choose from a number of significant 10 Christians, but doesn't rights of some individuals will con- purported to violate the First competing permit applications. It day. hold any particular significance for flict with the rights of others. Such a Amendment 's ban on "respecting an must then decide which application atheists. situation does not indicate that we establishment of religion." to accept and which to reject. Thi s wants a permit to gather at the Second. a 73-year-old tradition ex- cannot and should not make decisions However. like much of the consti- choice must necessarily involve dis- same time. To which group should ists between the Christians. Easter and about whose rights are to prevail in tutional doctrine handed down in the crimination. as do all choices. the city grant a permit? Irons Mount Soledad. Some might scoff at certain maners - having to make last 50 years, this reasoning is simply Now consider how thi s applies claims that the city cannot choose the notion of tradition. but keep in such decisions is one of the responsi- wrong . Because Mount Soledad is to the current Mount Soledad situ- to give the permit to the Mount mind that tradition and precedent play bi lities of government. By denying public land. it is up to the voten and ation. One group. the Mount Soledad Memorial Association be- a very important role in our society. that government has the authority to public officials to decide how the land Soledad Memorial Association. cause that would be "respecting an especially in politics and law. make these dei:isions. Irons would should be utilized. The city needs to wants to perform an Easter service establishment of religion." Third. the Christians are simply foist his own liberal beliefs on us. It adopt a fair method to determine who at the park from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. But suppose the Atheist Coalition asking to reserve the park for two is this kind of coercion that the First can use the park and when they can Another group, the Atheist Coali- wanted the permit simply to prevent boon out of the entire year. The athe- Amendment, which Irons uses to de- r co- .... ·., _ .. ~,~. use it. tion. represented initially without the Mount Soledad Memorial Asso- iSIS could obtain a permit for the Sat- fend his position. was intended to pre- To better understand the kind of the group' s consent by Irons. ciation from holding a religious ser- urtIay before Easter or for later in the vent. I

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One of the most publicized in- never discovered until it's too late. totalitarians one more reason to ridi- a little mUdsli nging. MUDDY: The stances of "suppression" phone calls They only exist for a short time, and cule democracy. Maybe it's our fault Some other type of compaining American voter is involved a Democratic party phone they aren't often publicized because for being so gullible and uni n- needs to be erected in place of mud- being duped bank in the final days of the 1994 the media has already moved on to formed . The public must put an end slinging. This new foru m must limit Senate race in Virginia. Callers the next race. A Republican strate- to such underhandet:l tactics. Refus- the candidates to addressing only Continued from p.,e 5 linked the Republican Senate can- gist asserts that such phone banks ing to vote for those candidates who their positions on issues. without affiliations, and many candidates didate. Oliver North. with David aren 't discovered "unless there is utilize it as a campaign strategy mention of th eir opponents. This insist t~ey have no connection with Duke. and asserted that the GOP some major slip-up afterwards." would do the trick - but this is a may sound idealistic and naive. but such organizations or the individu· was the party of the Ku Klux Klan. Mudslinging is a terrible blight seemingly impossible feat because after 200 years ofthis crap, it's time al involved. "Suppression" phone banks are on American politics. and it gives almost every candidate engages in for a little political purification.

AU SHOWS FIl II '-;:: ¢ '::> ... q I Pili COLOIED CO.TICTS FreshLooks: Brown Eye. '0 Blue. Green. Hazel • Oliver 01 5 PilI, I-DIY ICUIUE Peoples ~7r~

• PuSCII'nONS fIUD TIU,.. 10 • GlAssEs DUPlICAtED • COMPLm m EXAMS 2 • No APPOINfMINT NEClSWY ••• Monday, April I. 1996 8 NEWS The UCSD Guardian Monday, April I, 1996 The UCSD Guardian NEWS 9 UCLA: Several Two days after the original Times "The public n..... to "What is scandalous here is that 20 that he plans to amend the state UCLA: Officials story appeared, UC President Ri chard know that this Is some officials regularly use their po­ budgetto include a prohibition against defend gi ving favors legislators call for Atkinson sent a leuer to the regents sitions to improperly influence ad­ admissions tied to political influence announcing that he had ordered UC their unlv.... lty, not mission decisions." Archie· Hudso n or wealth. Richter is chair of the as­ DAILY or EXTENDED formal inquiries to major donors Provost C. Judson King to conduct a the private playthln. said. 'This raises troubling questions sembly subcommittee which control It' 2ndPl.'18 ContInued from pace 8 review of UC admissions policies to about the fairness of the uni versity UC finances, $,68 comp ••• Continued from page 1 __. C8tIIIUl.lI6l_ tions. Former Speaker of the Assem· determine the impact of special inter· of a few wellooplaced admissions practices and the integrity "The press accounts point to a ate school. bly Willie Brown. former Lt. .Gov. ests on the process. of the university's governing board." rogue UC bureaucracy conniving Money talks Individuals. " Leo McCarthy and Sacramento lob· "I also want to make clear that the Hayden. chair of the Senate Select with high government official to ~!!.~~~!:ES $129 The TimLS reported on March 21 - Jess BraYln & cal' kit, 14 len'" byist Ralph Ochoa made the most university has no policy that affords Committee on Higher Education. an­ grant admissions to appl icants based compl.t.! that UCLA ChancellorCharles Young Student·Regent Designate Kinko 's Salon David Perez (""'uv.... I16l. NuVue) reque ts. according to records pro· preference to students as a result of nounced Mareh 21 that his committee on the content of their connections and his aides also gave admissions 44 COPIES ...... 11. 17 21% OFF ...... 13 duced by Arditli's office. Ochoa is letters or other communicati ons on demic credenti als and UCSD's other would hold a public hearing on April or the weight of their wallet." Ri ch­ priority to friends and relatives of UCSD Bookstore Tan 4 Less Salons EYEGLASSES cu rrently under consideration to fill theirbehalfby prominent individuals, publicized selection criteria, not by 22 regarding the "growing evidence ter said. major donors to the universily. in· 10% OFF fIENIIIAI. NOU ...... Z2 121." ao TAN DAYS ...... SeIKI f_&R.. one of two vacancies on the UC BoarJ nor do we endorse such practices." theprominenceorpotent ial influences of a hidden subculture of favoritism" According to Student Regent Des­ c1uding several prominent Los Ange. Revelle Bargain Books Zebra of Regents.. Atkinson stated in the letter. of the inquirer." she said , in UC admissions ignate Jess Bravi n, legislati ve inquir­ les figures. DllCOUtft'ED 'I'EXBOOI(S ... , •• II. 20 3.1$ COPIES ...... p. 14 CALL NOW 1·800·298-EYES Although Arditti did not return Atkinson added that King's report Caserio added that she has asked Hayden also called for regents, ies are an appropriate way of dealing Although UCLA officials de· Costa Verde Car Wash La Jolla Brewing Company seveml phone ca lls, he told the Times wi II be completed by May 20, and that the vice chancellors torevicw UCSD's legi lators and university adm inistra­ with the controversy. DR. TED MECKLENBORG OptCf))t'tll~t fended the practice as another fund ­ 14." CAll WASH ...... 11. 14 SlIElltS ...... 11. 21 that the majority of the legislators' he will review the findings with the admissions policies "to en ure that tors to adopt a code of ethics which 'The public needs to know that 9516 Mlrilrnilr Road · Off 1·15 ,It r.llrdlTldl ROdU raising tactic, the Times investigation UCSD Bike Shop MUSIC Trader special requests were denied, regents, the chancellors and the aca­ safeguards are m place to protect us . would prohibit officeholders from this is their university. not the private 10%010% OFF ...... 11. 1. FItIE CD"I ...... 11. 21 566-411 0 ,.~ -- I showed that si nce 1980, 900 indio ...... - ~ , . "Sometime, they have an interest demiC council from external pressures and influences using their positions to influence the plaything of a few well-placed indio . vidual donors made more than 21,000 in their person and hope somehow Interim Chancellor Marjori e from prominent mdividuals." uOlvcrsit} In ll1a tt cr~ or admission~ vlduals." BrJvin said. "What we see requests on behalf of applicants to the that the person Will be treated favor­ Caserio said that UCSD considers Several legislators. includingstah: and hou~in g , as well a~ require that across the board is an erosion of UC' s university's undergraduate, graduate, ably , but yuu know we wind updeliv­ every lelter of recommendation and enator Tom Hayden. D - Lo~ Ange· an) uni\ cr~ ll y official receiving such public character and an aduption of housing and University Elememary ering probably more bad new than inquiry it receive" and all are given les. and Assemblywoman Margueri te a communication disclo 'e it immedi ­ techniquc~ that may be appropriate School programs. gooJ m;w~aboutthesethlng~ ." Arditti eq ual weight. Archie-Hudson, D·Los Angeles, ha vc ately. for a private university. but really are Although Young defended the told the Times. "I emphaSize that the deCision to also called for investigations into the Additionally, As~elllblYlllan contrary to what we should be all practice of giving "special consider· Now what? admit is based on the applicant'saea· matter. Bernie RIChter, R-Chico, said March about." ation" to the admissions requests of POP QUIZ contributors. he said the university would not lower its standards in any ,------, case. 1 "Should [major donors'] children RISH IRI-IELTA F"'H'''''~ chtnnII~~~~!!! onty Wuh ,hIS od. Exl' 4/30(96 ~-. Tans for $1 1 t. H_ m•• , tim•• h... ml•• od @:hl...... r! ,OU be admitted if Lhey are not admis· PElI.IEI' (~ mmws one for you and one for a friend 1 sible?" Young told the Times. 'The .) Non.. ~_,.. answer is ·no. '" () However. the Times investigation .::::S~~f OR MU lA U:~~:.l'~ 130 TAN DAYS $19~9* I: b) F.w.r th.n flv. tim••. __ SII. CARE . . 1 revealed that Young intervened in the UMDER ARMS I 1 !RUSTS B Ib c) 1 800 CALL ATT. ad missions process at least twice - 1/2 bloc" P • Wolff Beds • High Intensity u s once on behalf of the nephew of Saudi ~V~D 1 Arabia's wealthy former oil minister Rdaxing. • Facial Tanners • Frequent Bulb Changes 1 d) Wh.r.'. D,I.n? MVndIy " '''RS and once on behalf of his neighbor's son. Although neither of the students met UCLA 's admissions criteria, both jffJifr(frJ~fi:~ UCSD Area Trill .. Tan m I Holiday ct. 4SS.opo,1 2. Someon. c.lI. ,ou aolloat, u.lnl 1 800 CALL ATT. Wh.t h.pp.n.? were admitted. Political clout JIll .'Lr.~~~r.~~:nic IP~ifi~ B~ach Pt. Loma Stadium Mission Valley I State eleeted officials have made LA ~'LLI C..... ATE CElTE. ac c an 224-9727 281-7702 542-0391 .) You .cc.pt b.c.u•• ,ou .nd th. p.r.on Hlllni .....utom.tlc.lI, I 2280 Garnet .,... .-.. _ ...... 1''' . I hundreds of special requests (nat I/) MoIoI S!tJUonJ 00Ir.-- ...... ___ ...... , 558 -0888 L 28..!.:906~ _ ~. ,::!,,!!'::. "!..-::."!!.. '=-~~ ~~~ __ ..J .nt.red to win .n Int.rn.hlp on a.".rI, Hili., 10210: systemwide in the last 10 years. the Times reported March 26. b) You .cc.pt "'oou•• lt .Iw.,. ao.t. I••• th.n 1 100 COLLECT: The more than 1.000 requests by I 14publicofficialsweremadethrough 0) You .oo.pt ...0 •••• h.l.h. mllht ... D,I.n. Ardiui. director of the university's Office of State Governmental Rela- d) All tit•• Ito" •• See UCLA, Page 9

3. Wh.t'. tho b ••t thlnl to do .hll. w.tchlnl a.".rl, Hili., 10210-' RA CIST: Police say any speculation .) Itud,. would be premature b) LI.t.n to D."ld'. rap Mnl. Continued from page 1 0) Hopa for. IU ••t .p...... no. b, D,lon. random act of racial insult. we think this is a directed act by some very sick d) C.II. frl.nd aoll.ct u.lnl1 800 CALL ATT (,ou mllht win tho "".rl, individuals." he added. However, Assistant Vice Chan­ Hili., 80210·lnt.rn.hlp .nd n.t.n to D.vld'. r.p .onlln par.on). cellor of Human Resources Rogers Davis said that it was a mistake to connect the two events, "It would not be sound judgment 4. You h.". to Cltll ,our p.r.nt. for mon.,. 1.I.at th. mo.t .pproprl.t•• o.n.rlo: to speculate that this has anything to do with litigation regarding work .) You u •• 1 800 CALL ATT bee.u•• ,ou know ,0u'lIl.t mora mon., ru les," Davis said. A point of contention discussed at ollt of th.m. the ~earing was OAR's attendance policy, which requires employees to b) You UH 1 800 CALL ATT b.o.u.. th.t ••, ,ou'li ,.t ••oth.r ahonoo give 24-hour advance notice before calling in sick. Otherwise, the ab­ to wi. til. "v.rl, Hili., 802tO· Int.rn.hlp. sence is recordet1 as unexcused. UCSD PoIiceDetectiveNate Aoyd 0) You' ... dolnl " to I.t • bl••• r TV Ht. said that the police have not identified any suspects and that the investiga­ d) All th...... tion is ongoing. UCSD Interim Chancellor

.,...... •• , ••• 1...... _ ...... __ • ______Mlljorie Caserio said that the admin­ istration considers the graffiti unac­ ...... _...... -...... ceptable, and lent her full support to ..__ _.... -_- ______-_ 1 __ _--.. __- .. __--_..... -._- ...-_ _--_.. - -...... -- ,. the investigation ...... " ...... - ...... -- ...... - ...... U1I'""_I ...... ~ "We are ... responsible for creat· ing a welcoming campus environ· ment free from prejudice for all members of our diverse campus community." she said. "Acts of hate. violence or harassment will not be tolerated on this campus." Aoyd urges anyone with informa· 0_.'• . , IGOCO',.l£C11O' _._.. YCI tion about the incident to C111 him at 534-HELP, 10 NEWS The UCSD Guardian Monday, April I, 1996

Monday, April I, 1996 The UCSD Guardian II must be careful with the scientific .. Wllhthe ..... prejudice is rampant," Kitcher said. ignored. _ DNA: Genes are . .. A general theme of the book is that In addition, Kitcher asserts that knowledge that we acquire. InIaI.....,W... not solely responsible "With the best intentions, we are genetic problems don't necessarily while scientific advances are prom- for behavior easily led down a road that our pre- e.llly led down • require genetic solutions." ising, we must be careful not to decessors have traveled," Kitcher road ...... "We shouldn't think as genes as abuse our new technologies. CoIIIInued from ,... 2 writes. "We start by trying to avoid being destiny," he added. "We "Enhancing some human capaci- "Our use of this technology ought human suffering and then inch our predec...... should recognize that in many cases ties, such as our ability to resist to be guided by the desire to raise way to full-blown eugenics." bai.I.d: We start by the genotype is only considered to infectious disease, might benefit us the quality of human lives - that is, Eu,enics, a term used frequently be unfortunate because of ways in all. But a widespread practice of to make lives go as well as they can in the book, is the science that deals ~tonold"""" which we operate as a society - improving on nature - say by in- go," Kitcher said. with the improvement of hereditary ...... ways that could be chango''''.'' creasing our cognitive powers - ''That has two components," he qualities. In Th~ Liv~s to Come, Kitcher could easily have unhappy conse- added. "One is trying to bring into Kitcher stressed that while some Inch ... way to full. emphasizes that while break- quences," Kitcher writes. being people who have a really good believe in the notion of "genetic blown ...... " throughs in molecular genetics could "What can be done, either now chance at a life that will nourish, determinism" - the idea that our - PhIlp lUtcher potentially improve the quality of or in the foreseeable fut~re , is not land) the otheris doing whatever we behavior is completely tied to our Author of The Lives to Come human life, there are parallel ac- necessarily what should be done," can for the people who are actually genotype - there are other factors tions, such as improving environ- Kitcher writes. "Doctors fiddle with born ." apart from a person's genotype pered not by intrinsic qualities of mental conditions, which could also patients' bodies in all kindsofways, Kitcher also warns his readers at which determine behavior. the person but by the fact that that enhance human existence and which but ought they be allowed to tamper se veral moments in the book that we "In many cases, lives are ham- person is born intoasociety in which until this point have been largely with genes?"

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Come to the University of San Diego School of Education for graduate 5ch,ool. We offer: · M.A., M.Ed. and Ed.D. programs in Leadership Leadership programs are interdisciplinary degree programs for students interested in studying leadership in organizational, military, corporate, educational, human. services, and other settings. Students may also pursue the Administrative Services Credential. · M.A. and l\1:.Ed. programs in Gounseling The Counseling programs offer 30 and 48 unit master's degree programs in the areas of school counseling, human resources development/training, career counseling, and college and university counseling. Students may also pursue the PPS Credential or a Post-Master's Degree Professional Counselor Certificate. · Multiple subjects and single subject BCLAD credentials Textbook Buyback: April 1-5 from 9am-4pm · Master's degrees and credentials in Special Education There will be a drawinw at 4pm on each day of the buyback. · M.A. and M.Ed. programs iIi Curriculum & Instruction This means that you wet 5 chances to win! The lO-unit Curriculum & Instruction program allows students to specialize in curriculum development, instructions, JUst sell your books, keep your finwers crossed, and literacy. and we'll do the rest! · Marriage, Family, Child Counseling (MFCC) One of only four degree-granting MFCC programs in California that is accredited by the Commission on Textbook AccreditatioJl (COA) for Marriage and Family Therapy, the national organization recognized by the Department of Department Education for setting standards for marriage and family therapy education. , .. e .0 ...... (619)53&-4557 Want to learn more about USD School of Education graduate programsl Plan to attend an information http://wvw-})()()katore. uclld.edu session on Monday,Aprii 1 on the USD Campus. For additional information. contact Bob Cornish in the Office of Graduate Admissions by calling 260·4524 or e-mail comishb@ac~sd.edu. 12 The UCSD Guardian Monday, April I, 1996 Monday, April I, 1996 The UCSD Guardian OPINION 13 UC REGENTS ARE Two-FACED POLITICIANS 1WItGr: homeeown. WIIo'sncxt-hist.ber's ,...... Clbltloaa Are priority. They III"C not just ·'a bunch It is a BJUSS hypocrisy thal the UC third cousin7 Despiac the fact that Not CIOs' Pllwltt of students on bikes patroIlilll park­ regents who ardendy oppose aftinna­ some students in his personal prefer- iDa lots for parting vioilliODs" and tive action have employed !heir own ence~'" medioc:Ie IICIdeINc Editor: they are not '1Ianding out a dozen Innd ~ pcnonaJ pref~ programs records, the regent fought for their I would like to clear up some flC­ parting tickets per hour in every for 15 years. According to some UC adnUsions 1IllIIeIheIess. tual errors in a recent Gl/QrrJian edi­ parking 101 on campus." regents, it is fine to usc their int1ucncc A rqcnt's cJauahter Wti rejc:cted torial ("'Visual Services' $5,700 In the Feb, S edition of the Guard­ to help get relativC5, friends and chil­ from UCLA until mom placed a call Loss lust Another UCSD Statistic," ian, you ran an excellent cover story dren of business partners admitted to to the admissions office. The univer­ March 7, 1996). The Community 011 the cso Program based upon facts. UCLA. But when it comes to outreach sity reversed its decision. Service Officers (CSOs) - not We appreciated it because we work programs forpcople of color, the same ~ is the rigleous indignation Readers'Forum Campus Security Officers - are Iwd to provide a valuable service to regents are !he first to cry unfairness. we would see if the students were The GuwCllen students who provide daytime park­ the campus and try to make the cam­ Hundreds of speci al admissions re­ minorities? Where is the outrage over 9500 Gilman Dr. 0316 ing-lot patrol. They do not write ci­ pus safe. We ask that the G,JtlrrJian quests were made by 80 public offi­ straight-"A" students who were tumed La Jolla. CA 92093{)316 tations during daYlime hours. Their check its facts so misinfomldtion is not cials. One regent who voted to end af­ away for these academic rejects? job is to deter potential thieve and given to our community. finnative action made 32 requests to Regents who voted to abandon af­ wittingly demonstrated the reason out­ to observe and report illegal acti v­ Russ Reulber UCLA for everyone from his nephew finnative action for minorities while reach programs are sti II needed. ity. During evening hours, they write CSO Progrllm Coordiaator to the daughter of a builder in hi preserving it for themselves have un- Jennirer Coburn parking citations; but thaI is not their UCSD Police Department

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courses this quarter! LTEN 50 Introduction to Shakespeare Professor Thomas Dunseath m-t 10:00-11 :20 WLH 21 1 1

LTGN 100 The Classical Tradition ANCIENT LIVES: THE ART OF BIOGRAPHY Professor Robert Gurval TH 2:30-5:20 Center 220 ------~ LTGN 123/LTIT t 40 Women in Italy "LET'S SPIT ON HEGEL" Professor Stephanie Jed MWF 11 :00-11 :50 WLH 2115

LTGN 149 Jewish Experience in LIterature Professor Robert Baruch TH 2:30-3:50 Center 21 7B r------~------~ LTGN 170 Travel LIterature CONTEMPORARY JAPAN THROUGH AMERICAN EYES Pro(essor Jerome Griswold ru 4:00-6:50 CSB 001 ------~ LTGN t 80G Visual Arts, FUms &. Uterature: Rlmlc Genre SOME LIKE IT HOT to PULP FICTION Professor AJain Cohen W 3:()()"S:50 . Center t 05 ----.------~------~ LTSP 190/800 Seminar . TAKES ON MACHISMO IN CHICANO/ A WRIllNG ...... -..n Professor Marta Sanchez Exclusive Engagement ...... M 11H to:()()'l t :20 Center 22A8 ., North Terr.ce PIIa ..... 3 starts Friday. April 12 DawnIDwn ...... Monday, Aplil I, 1996 The UCSD Guardian SPORTS 15

14 OPINION The UCSD Guardian ~o~y, April I, 1996 dogs, the Tritons have an oppor­ singles ladder. Malenphansakul PITZED: Lone tunity to meet Redlands again in BOWS: Hawaii DOUBLE: played well, but could not top her win came vs. Pomona the semifinals of the NCAA breaks UCSD twice Break: yields 2 wins opponent, a former Division m Na­ BACKER HEADS DIFFERENT PROGRAM THAN THAT STATED BY ARTICLE regionals. This will determine the tional singles champion. Freshman Continued from ,... 18 Western representative for the Continued from p.,. 18 Continued from !NIl. 22 Jennifer Drimmer, playing in the num­ Editor: vices as they relate to recruitment, whom the UC could RaUil This, he legaJ-refonn initiatives - Proposi­ singles players to pull off the Division III Nationals competi­ . TheTritonspushedtheRainbows number-two singles position due ber-six position, played a solid match, Referring to Suketu Vaishnav's which Backer directs, and EAOP, stated in Slate and national publica­ tions 200, 201 and 202. If imple­ win for the squad. tion. in game one before eventuaJly faJl­ to an aggravated pulled muscle, but was beaten, 6-4, 6-3. article "UCSD Reacts 10 which I have directed for the last tions, would make up for the exclu­ mented, these reforms would have Number-two Wilson, number­ "It was a really close match ing, 15-11. The team was able to her Triton teammates stepped up "Jennifer hasn'tgouen the chance Connerly's Outreach, Financial 20 years. Backer directs an outreach sion of race as a factor. Recently, required a massive government re­ three Eric Steidlmayet and num­ and good for Ihe team. It gave us repeat its goal of double-figure scor­ and were successful in their new to play many tough matches," Aid Stance" (March 14, 1996), in program related to recruitment, however, he retracfed this position by training program to convert thou­ ber-six Rahul Batra each over­ a chance to see if we really can ing in the second game, as it tallied positions. Somers defeated her LaPlanle said. "She played a good which you report UCSD's commu­ which has not been targeted by attempting to include EAOP as part sands of bright, articulate ambu­ powered their opponents, but that beat them," number-two doubles JO points in a losing effort. With a Sagehen opponent easily, 6-1,6- opponent, didn't get nervous and nity reaction to UC Regent Ward Connerly. EAOP, on the other hand, of the Regent's Resolution to Abol­ lance chasers into producti ve mem­ wasn ' t enough to defeat player Ben Beckersaid. "We will rejuvenated offense, the leam was I, at number lWO. Takemoto played really well [on Saturday]." Connerly's attempt to include out­ was Connerly' s latest target. ish Affinnative Action. bers of society. These lawyers Redlands. play them again in the regionals, able to spread out its scoring oppor­ earned a victory, 6-2, 6-2, and Last week's showdowns against reach programs as pan of the Re­ In this respect, it is important to Clulto Bemlez would then have to meet the new "The doubles point was cru ­ and [ think we will have the con ­ tunities, finishing with three players Huberman bested her opponent, Fullerton and Pomona provided the gents' Resolution to Abolish Af­ note thaI Connerly initially ex ­ Director, Early Academic labor-market demand from corpo­ cial and put us behind," Turner fidence to do beller." in double figures for kills. Black 6-0, 6-3, at the third and fourth level of competition and confidence firmative Action. Please note the pressed a willingness to support Readers 'Forum OulnllCb Pl'OInm raLions relocating their businesses said . "We had a slow start. moved UCSD will have a week off finished with 24, Yarris tallied II spots, respectively. the Tritons need in order to prepare following ; The director of Early programs like EAOP SD that The GuardIan to California. ahead 3-2, but then we lost the before returning to action .next and Riley put away 10 kills. Meanwhi Ie, Hoecker did not for national-level ballies. The UCSD Academic Outreach Program underrepresented students could be ­ 9500 Gilman Dr. 0316 We wouldn't want that to happen. next two. The doubles point is so Monday against Soulhern Cali ­ The Tritons face Long Beach faJter at number fi ve, taking the women travel to Arizona on Thurs­ La Jolla. CA 92093-0316 (EAOP) at UCSD is Eustacio academically prepared at the end of Thank goodness we can instead importanl in these malches ." fornia College at 2 p.m. on the State on Thursday in one of their win, 6-0, 6-2. UCSD, however, day to test their skills against top­ "Chato" Benitez, not Richard their high school years, Lhus mak­ look forward LO a further exodus of Despite falling to the Bull- North Couns. final horne matches of the season. suffered losses at both ends of the ranked Trinity. Backer, as your article reports. ing it unnecessary to award points raise $50,000 for programs like Editor: our evil California corporations and I think it is imponant to make a for an applicant's ethnicity. EAOP so as to have academically pre­ There is a bright side to their jobs. I feel safer already. di stinction between outreach ser- In fact, Connerly even offered to pared underrepresented students California's rejection of the three Bonney Wikkering

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TIlt GeMrai Store T.xtbook Dept. is Io(oted OH0S5 students from AS Soh Reserves 9next to AIM modline) 16 SPORTS The UCSD Guardian Monday, April I, 1996 Monday, April I, 1996 The UCSD Guardian SPORTS 17 ' BREAK: Records could get in [to the field)," Van 1Iiton Defense Breaks Down, Again Arsdale said, "I didn'l like saying fall at UCSD invite 'no', but I got real good at it. " NOW IN PAPERBACK The women ' side was as excit­ GIVE-AWA,Y: UCSD continues to make mistakes, committing errors and hitting into double plays Continued from page 24 ing as the men ' s, as fiv e meet presence of mind to roll out of the records fell . including the Ameri­ "Iorts ABoUT TIME SOMEONE By Seen Rahlml Iowans in the first game. Atthe start of the fifth inning, the a potential go-ahead threat. potential disaster, quickl y regain - can record in the pole vault. Three WROTE ~HE Associate Sports Editor Junior right-handed hurler Tritons were cruising, having given . The second-ranked Kingsmen 109 hi feet and shaking off any of the other records were also in DEFINITIVE The spring holiday turned out to David Mullin notched his first col­ up only one run on one hit. But then, came to La Jolla on Wednesday, negati ve effects. Walsh finished in field events -the long jump. di s­ OF TIME •••• be a disappointing hiatus for the legiate victory with a complete­ in what has become more the norm March 19 to ball Ie the Tritons, who 9:34. 15 , in spite of his shaky start. cus and highjump. The final record HISTORY UCSD baseball team, as it lost two game shutout in the opener on Sat ­ than the exception, everything fell were looking to avenge two earlier Rhodes Walton also performed well , was broken by Inger Miller, who I CAN ~ Of NO ONI of three home games. urday. He limited Cornell College apart. losse~ to the same Cal Lu squad. a he took eighth in hiS first-ever ran unattached in the 100 meters Going into the break, to four singles. while striking out The Triton defense and pitch­ The matchup pitted the staff aces ~ t ee rl ec ha se With a time of9:41.15 . and finished in a blazing time of ama 1'IWI PAIIL DAVIIS ••• the Tritons had im­ two and walking just one during ing faltered again, making mis­ of both squads against each other, as The men 's fi eld event s were high­ 11.17, easily eclipsing the previ ­ EINmlN HIMSELF WOULD proved their record to the scheduled even innings. BOIh takes which led to Ram runs. Sud­ senior southpaw Mike Bryant took lig hted by a pair of record-shatter­ ous meet record 0 f I I. 60. 5-9-1, looking to get games were concluded after seven denly, the score read 8-4 in favor on Kingsmen star Andrew Barber. in g performances. Adam Setliff of For UCSD , the highlights began HAVE ION PLEASED." closer to the .500 innings at the request of the visit­ of Cornell. UCSD finished with The two pitchers locked heads in a USA track and field broke the old in '!le distance events. Paola Avila -Machio Koku , author of mark . ing Rams. three errors - an escapable tally, classic duel, sending the game into mark in the discus, hurling it an took second in the invitational (ield Hyperspace: A Scienlilic oJyaey The hardballers, UCSD cruised to an early 4-1 had it not committed them at all extra innings tied at two. additional 2' 10" to a distance of of the 10,000 meters. improving on Through ParoJlel UniWKJeS however, lost a close lead in the nightcap on the strength the wrong times. Cal Lutheran, however, scored 214' . Japan 's Tetsuva Shida also Marl< Pslterson/Guatdlan her previous best time from last year game to th e second -ranked of four runs in the bottom of the first "You can't give any team fi ve or two runs in the top of the 10th on enjoyed the sunny surroundings, as by well overthree minutes to finish 5,000: J.J. Castner is on track. Kingsmen from Cal Lutheran early inning. After the Rams scored an six outs in one inning," Triton Head Eric Burbcn's two-run, RBI single. he long jumped 25 '6", an 8" im­ in 41 :55.99. Wendy Chiasson al so .. ELEGANnY WRITTIN la t week, and last aturday they initial run during the top of the first , Coach Robert Fletcher said. Kingsmen closer Rudy Lesko picked provement over the old record. Javelin thrower Bo Harvey al so set a personal record in the 5,000 Chuck Nguyen/ Guardian ANt blew the second game of a double­ freshman starter David Takehara UCSD went on to lose by a score up his second victory of the season, UCSD 's field athletes had a fair did well , launching his spear to a invite, taking 11th in 19:20.74. The COMMIHINSIIU, Delivery: Starter Dave Takehara header to the Rams of Cornell Col ­ settled down and held the Rams of 8-6, hitting into a crucial double while Triton counterpart Andy share of success. Geoff Lambert and personal record distance of 156' II ", final Triton distance queen was ML 0/1 WONDER AND LUCID IXPLANA'IIONL .. hurls a fastball in a 8-6 loss. lege (IA) after easily handling the scoreless through four innings. play in the bottom ofthe sixth to end deGrasse dropped to 2-2. Randy Buehler - both competing which was II th best among the large Sanam Pirayesh, who posted per­ a ~AngelesT_ at the invitational level - finished open field . The field events were sonal record of II :28.37 in the open ninth and 11th, respectively, and especially well attended because of 3,000. ~ III A wmy MID IMAGING EXPLOItATION Of' THI ...... •...... continued to throw well. the well -known quality of UCSD 's UCSD had a number of successes Of TIllE...... OMIIS IXAIIIIIIS 1111 CXMfIEOUbICIS "[Lambert and Buehler] are con­ facilities for such events as lhe ham ­ in the field as well . Tara Monaghan Of EtNsTWS lMIOIIY or ~ MD 0fI'IIII1lMnJIIG • • Master Mechanics sistently throwing near their best mer throw and discu s. continued her strong performance 1tAW AIOUf WHAT MClIn' MSIAIlCM MAY ~ IUMIS1'IOIII • • dislances in every meet," Van "We had people coming up the in the hammer throw, as she took VoIIcstuaga • AudI Volunteers are needed tor Research Drug FREE • RalNldllnn, 278-0800 • Arsdale said. day of the meet and asking if they See BREAK, Page 19 Study. 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800 MD-BOUND 619·~55-1000 .... thisc...... _KilJD·'iIILajalo ...... ,...Iidod.''' ... 1I· L'-IID'S...... c...... 20 ...... IIond ... ~IIdI! c.....,...... _. D.p.,tTo.tlt.Oklll .... t .L1u._ ~ ..I~ __ .... ~ ..... "' ...... 1I_ ...... 0II0r IIIiMod ID ...... ,.. -.VIIW. KIND~ La jail...." \bur bnnch ~ ,It .,134-41.7 ".. _ 7111 e/ 1>10 ...... 0...... 111 .... hit :lIwww-bookltor•. uold .• du <'7,,"&1.,.,... "Odio~-,... ___ .. -_,.~ ...""c."...-_ ..... _ ...... (NO FOOLIN') ., 1";;IIIT'SrIlETOGATSIIIIUIJIOOrTlCrEsr.- MoNtay, April I, 1996 The UCSD Guardian ·{S SPORTS The UCSD Guardian ~onday,April I, 1996 by 10 seconds. Irvine finished a however, to qualify the Tritons for high jump, Heather Winberry, SD: Crew Classic distant 20-plu, seconds back. the grand final on Sunday. Unfortu­ BREAK: Huge competing through the pain of a UCSD Salvages Break has four UCSD entries Because only fi ve teams were en­ nately, Sunday's race saw UCSD contingent visits SD bad ankle, took 10th place in the Bows Rain on Tritons Twice tered in the event, the novice B crew suffer from a stroke of bad luck invitational field,clearing5'2.25". THE Pili: A Triton w.in over Pomona Pitzer Continued from INC. 24 competed in a straight final. In the which cosl the Triton rowers the Contlnued from fUll. 17 In the final race of the day,the TOP D08: The Hawaii Rainbows, undefeated in conference play and boasting turns out to be the only victory of the off week Humboldt, Stanford and in a bit of preliminary heat on Saturday to deter­ finish they had expected. third in the highly competitive in­ Triton women finished strong in the numer-one ranking, came to town and beat UCSD on two occasions cross-lawn revenge, SDSU, in the mine lane placings,the Tritons placed With Villanova and Radcliffe vitational field with a throw of the hotly contested 4 x 400 relay. ., NIcole ...... fare as well against Brown Uni­ Saturday final. third behind Stanford and UCSB . In battling at the front, UCSD was in 157'6". In the discus, it was the UCSO' s quartet of Odette .,-.w..... less of the competition, continued all but gone, UCSD seuled inlO its GullRllan Repone, versity on March 24. The Trito,,", The Triton women entered three the fmal race on Sunday, however, the middle of the pack competing Tritons' Angie Allen who had the Velasquez, Maggie Dwire, Robyn Sts"Wrlte, his stellar scuon by Ieadin, the Tri­ usuaJ style of play and performed at The UCSD men's tennis team looked to their lower-seated play­ boats: novice A and B crews and a UCSO faltered, falling to fifth. for third when a boat wake, which, top throw in the open field, when Herskowitz and Micheala Last week's break was not just tons with 20 kills in the fint RIIlCh. a much higher level. After being pulverized Pomona last Satur­ ers to fill the lineup because top­ lightweight four-woman boal. The The final Triton boat, a lightweight according to Triton Head Coach Jack she sent the disc flying to a dis­ Monahan took second place be­ sun and surf for the UCSD men's Sophomore Jon Yams was the shut out in blockiRl the previous day, endin, its losing streak over sealed J)rounstein, as well as two novice A boat competed in the larg­ four, competed in an intense field Vallerga, "didn't seem to affect the tance of 129'9". hind UCLA witha time of3:59.85. volleyball team, as the Tritons hid only other scoring threat for UCSD, night, the front-line core of Guy Spring Brcalt with a decisive 6-1 other top players, were unable to est field in the regatta. containing 23 which included 1995 NCAA finalists other lanes," literally brought the UCSD's Sabrina Nielson, com­ It was the strong final legs of to continue their play as he put away six of his nine scor­ Mount and Devon Jeffcoat stepped victory over the Sa,ehens. attend the Sunday match. crews vying for the classic crown. from Radcliffe, Villanova and Texas. UCSD boat to a ·halt in ttie water. peting in only her second triple Herskowitz and Monahan which in the highly ing opportunities. up 10 lead the Tritons in out-block­ Previously that week, the "We played them at half In Saturday's heat, the UCSO UCSO itself had also been in atten­ That wake dropped the Tritons jump replacing the injured Li a separated UCSD from a tight pack, competative Moun­ "We were a little intimidated the ing the Rainbows. Tritons fell to Redlands in a close strength," Head Coach Brian rowe r~ finished third to earn a berth dance at last year' s national champi­ into a distant sixth . UCSD did man­ Shepard , put forth what Van which consisted of the U.S. Ma­ tain Pacific Sports first night," Head Coach Doug Another first-night struggle to league loss, 3-4, and were swept Turner said. "This match was in the petite final againSlrivals USD, onships.lnits heatonSaturday , UCSO age to battle back into fifth place Arsdale called a "championship rines and Long Beach City Col­ Federation. Damevik said, "but the second night plague UCSD was its inconsistency 7-0 by Division I Brown Univer­ scheduled at the last moment and SDSU and UC Irvine. In that event, finished third behind Western Wash­ before reaching the finish line. The effort." Nielson finished third in lege, catapUlting the Tritons to a The team found we set some goals for ourselves-IO in returning serves. sity . if we had been full strength, I'm the Tritons finished a strong second, ington and Wisconsin. final result was nonetheless a disap) the open field with a hop , skip and provisional NCAA qualifying itself going head-to· Defeating the Sagehens sure we could have made it com­ beating SDSU by seven and USD That finish was good enough, ,ointment for the team. a jump of 33 " ". Finally, in the time. head with the num­ proved easy for the Tritons. Tri­ petitive." ber-one ranked Divi- tons dominated Pomona Coupled with the lack sion J volleyball squad in the nation, in doubles competition, of experience and the pow­ the University of Hawaii , which winning all three of the erful play of the opposing made sure tlie UCSO vacation was matches. squad , UCSD was unable elBA NewVues anything but pleasant. In the number-one po­ to prevail. Brown com­ -.,-.~-. New Patient OHer In the first of thei r two matches, sition, Dan Brounstein de­ pleted all its victories in $144 * --.. the Rainbows, who came to town feated his opponent, but two sets, and swept the FREE l-PAIR COLORED $ .,,,* R~~';~I~:tine Cleaning undefeated in conference play, not without a tough battle. doubles matches. CONTACTS· WJ FRESH LOOK ~ ~ & Complete ExIllOUlation " "I I' " , • , • I· • flexed their muscles and did not The match came down to " It felt good playing • Necessa ry X-Rays · Oral Cancer Screenmg • Periodontal Examination ' Olnsu ltation give the underdog Tritons any hopes the final set, with Brounstein number one, but it was a tough «II I'll"\ ... \\ I H trailing 5-3 in the late going. match," Mike Wilson said. "I was Offer up. ~/l 5 196 of an upset by sweeping the match BROWN EYES TO BLUE However, the top Sagehen was ahead 3· 1, but my opponent came ------.. -vn three games. HAZEL / GREEN/GRAY I back. It was bad that I lost, but it Hawaii made it clear early that unable to maintain his intensity WJ IJtJtIAStJFT -2 C,,'.re" C"""cls I PIN -latural Touch they would be controlling the nets. and Brounstein came back to grab gave a lot of the team a chance to $149* The Tritons were unable to contend the victory, 7-5 . get experience." _2.:~.~:.ronIY I .1~_'~~~~~'C-kII"" ~ .~~~!'! $299 _"'175.00 $99* with the dominant front-line of the Another example of UCSO's Experience was also gained L ·_125 ____ _ Offer «p. ~ /15 19 6 Reg_ $700 Rainbows and did not record a block unwillingness to lose came from in the Triton's square-offagainst - ..... rtEAII- - T -IIIII'OSAILE ctJIITACTS- T - IURA End of the raInbow?: There was no gold for the Tritons, as they ctJIIF.,,- - fourth -seed Steve Shabel, who the University of Redlands on Marc Bowers, D.D.S. throughout the match. In contrast, scrambled to no avail against the number-one ranked Hawaii team. the University of Hawaii was able to conquered his opponent easily, March 15. Although UCSD was * I $62* I 1MUTEEYEBIMSLEII$E$.. .,. .. 4 11011. 111... " I ",." 9119 Genesee Ave. 6-0, 6-0. The win over the unable to oust the Bulldogs from $89 * PROFESSIONAL stuff IO blOCks. score in double figures and to come "We gOl served off the coon in !he I I_H ...i:l1DD1 Despite being slightly over­ with more intensity to the gym." first match," Dannevik said. "but Matt Sagehens was just what the Tri­ the number-two spot in the West, '__ fum .=~~~ ._S25~~~~1 99 suite 140 DENTAL GROUP matched up front, the Tritons were The Tritons: ranked number three Riley and Jon Yarris passed much tons needed to even their season the Tritons remained right on OF LA JOLLA still able to take advantage of sev­ in Division III, achieved the goals better in the second [match), and that record at 6-6 and reaffirm them­ their tail in third place. ------~------~------QuaUty Care & Reasonable Fees eral opponunities to put up some they had set for themselves in the improvedourovenllgame.Asateam, selves as number three in the With UCSD unable win a 551-1144 good hilling numbers. Senior Tom second match. With the jitters of we stepped up competitively." West. doubles match, it was up to the @ y~.!!9~~~Ft~OM!!~R:!!.!!.--~ .. , ll:C=--=:::C:lliC'::BI"'_=-IIIII~O~pen=:E~:=. &~Sm llrda'l fry Il/lPOIntlllDli . MedICo! and mOll mswrana .

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Just ....- holt Gene Bank' s 3 simple questions lWId you .. could win • cIIIId ....eeI to your own Sl*iflcationsl -Monday. April I. 1996 The UCSD Guardian CLASSlFlEDS 21 20 CLASSlflEDS The UCSD Guardian Monday. April I. 1996 Counselors: Camp Wayne. sister/brother Rent large room in 3 bedroom house in Bay »CDhoIderSl celJeremy623-0204. (411) needs. Gall Mona or Helene at 619-270- SBve$$$. Mon.-Fri. 5:30-9:3Opm. Sat. 9:00- camp. NoItheasI Pennsylvania. 6120-81181 Park. S350/month plus 1/4 utHllias. 2359. (4023 Avati Drive). (411-414) 1riendI. ca. TOM SAWYER CNII> (818) 96. Have the most memorable summer of Nonsmoker ptease. 276-2454. (411-414) Twin bed (with box apring and frame). only noon. 54&-7831 (1/18-6/6) ANNOUNCEMENTS 794-1158. (411-4118) your file! Coaches. teachers. and college three months ofd . $70.00 OBO call Abi. Europe. $249. Be a illite ftexlbleand SAVE Classified Line Female roommate wanted! Own room . ATTENTION AU STUDENTSI Grants & age students lor: Group leaders. 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RUIh AJpIIe ICIppe FecuIty • 111ft: 13 per 20 worcII Director. ~ssistant Chel. Bookkepper. FEMALE ROOMMATE wanted. Own room. Word processing. term papers. resumes. Pal this spring quarter. only c:o-ed CLASSIFIEDS SALARIES and tmel aIIow.1Ce pfus "the GaN now. Also ask about lowering springs. etc. 270-7106 (2129-3114) !he AI oIIerI: 14 per 20 worcII finestllUlllllMlfyou·.lMII'have.·".,...... Kitchen. Waitresses. On campus inlerviews. share bath. 1 block to beach. 300 mo + 1/ Word Processing manuscripts. proIeaionaI business fralemily on~ . 3 util. 272-0584 HeatherlSarah. (411-4115) Hamillonpager: (619)898-8410. (411-414) c:issertations. books. business. applications. AdvIInce payment Is requiAld. OnCM!pU8,Wedl~1011L Cal ApnllOth. Call 1-800-279-3019. (314-4/18) Scholarship Locators: We win locate sources NeIwofk. be succeeslul. hive alutur8. (411- Th. UCSO G.wdJ8il ...."'" the right to claulfy. edit. delete oIfenIIve words and , ... Multang GT floormats. two sets. first resumes . editing . Accurate. last. 4118) _ phra .... andlor reru •• any and allldv.nlSemenll wiIIIouI prior notIflcatIon. TIle Acl\rertiser IIOO-82&CAMP (9-5 EST) for Animated. high __rgy individuals needed Female roommate to share room . Starting of Iree money lor you . GUARANTEED S30 lakes them . call Oanan at 483-6424. confidential. Mary Ann . (619) 452-9439. WIll nOl hOld tile Glllfraian IIIIbIe lor any claims rHUlllng from the publtc.tIon 01 the an appointment end more infoImaIion_ (41 to pr~t Fun Science demonstrations to in June or Sept. Near UTC. UCSD. $2501 RESULTS. Free Inlormation. 1-800-250- Intern lor Real Estate Consulting Firm Classified Display (411) (10126-4125) 1-418) ~ 12 year-old children at birthday parties on mo. Must be lriendly. quiet. non-smoker. 8587 . (~) developing 3.400 home community. advertisement. Tile publisher will also not be held accountable lor any claim from an weekends. Must have car and extensive (558-7950) (411-4/4) VITUS Road Bike. 14-speed. all aluminum SIeIdng responsible. t-aous. motivIIed agreement made '*-theldver1lur end the c:omumer. Ad Rates Free Financial Aid! Over $6 Billion in public experience with children. Pay: 525 per one Irame. super light. 23 inch. extras. $3001 incIYiduaI. Compensation & l'eaIexpoeura. Copy should be reviewed by the advertiser lor ...rors . In Older '0 be COfrected In the next 18_75 per column Inch Roommate wanted prelerably lemale. and prlva.te sector grants & scholarships is LOST & FOUND hour show. CaR: Mad Science 549-3268. consider clean mate. 2 bedroom 1 bath on 080. Derek 794-4649. (411 ,-) ___ now aV8lfable. All students are eligible Proficient in W'P 6.0. lotus 1-2-3. Send regular i.sue. atl ...rars must be reponed by .he corresponding deadUne. Credl1 witt only Deedl,"": (2129-411 ) • be given 101 the Incorrect portion 01 the advertisement. There ar. no relunda lOr cenceltetion • . La Jolla Shores $6OO.00/mo ceN 551-8366 regardfess 01 grades. inconne. or parent's resume to : Intem Posffion. 380 Stevens ...... _ DiIpIIy A4II LIne AlII laptop: Macintosh Powerbook 100. 6 MB THANK YOU! To the person who returned Avenue. Sune 307. Solana Beach. CA Teach English in Eastern E~rope­ Adrian . (411 ) i(lcorne. let usheip. Call Student Financial p,-..net eI. cOfIftIIOncIeMe Ng8IdIng Claellflecle to: .. J' RAM. 20 Me HD with Fax/modem and my gfasses at EBU2- Please calt so I can 92075; Fax (610) 793-8070. (411-4111) UCSD G4Iarcllan. Ann: CI_IfledI. HOO Gtlmen DrIve 103111. L. Jolla, CA '2013. _"_,Ir. Conversational English teachers needed in software. Excellent COndition . S485. Call Services: 1-800-263-6495 ext. F59763 (21 Ma thank you! Also- to Paula who caled & tole ActuallocJitlon: Student Center A. Room 217 . (1,.11/-.".', 6 .... "-'-J 4.-J Pra~u e. Budapest. or Krakow. No teaching 26-4118) .... money and IMke a dlfferellce with 551-0092. (3114-411) me where I could lind them- THANKSI You is now hiring general counselors & certificate or European languages required. FOR RENT the Student AffIrmative Action and Human 1987 Honda Elite 250(lreeway legal)- Red. BRUCE LEE'S Jeet Kone Do. Brazilian Jiu guys made my week! 550-0634 (3114-411) counselors with experience in: InexpenSive Room & Board +other benelns. Relations Programsl Intern and peer deal. Fee negotiable. Pacific Beach. 483- For inlo .. call: (206)971-3680 ext.K59762 good condo luel. Helmet & parl"" ~~. SUMt1, EI\ .SESSIONS International Environmental Company across streetfrom Del Marbeach! Available (CarMr Cent... . part ....,. employment- ." '. -;."i'''JUt-iE l~ YA.tJQUST 2, 1996 s..n.c.. Job '9(7598) Director, UCSD Academic Enrichment looklnq lor a lew key environ menially 4/1196 . Only 5350. Call Jennifer 792-2223. • CHOOSE FROM OVER 200 CLASSES OFFERED conscIOus individuals to help expand (4/1) __ . • EARN COLLEGE CREDIT company and raise awareness. For more Five minutes Irom east parking shuHle!!!! inlo .• ·calf 625-0904. (3/11-411) $280/mo + 115 utilities. lurnished shared • ENROLL IN 5 WEEK SESSIONS Rapidy expanding Marketing Group seeking room lor rent. Four Iriendly lemale 3-5Iun. high energy. motivated people part roomma tes. 411 -8131 . 453-0766. (4/1-41 11 ) ;,(,1 time to have lun. work. and grow with East Del Mar. bedroom and private bath. Please call (619) 534-4364. mention code #16 ;~!'~t'~f;L*~~~;~~~O~ company. For more details. call 756-4086. lurnished or unlurnished. endosed garage , ··',);·>;FULLACADEMIC CREDIT or mail the coupon below to be sent a free ~ ,).;. .~,~ .. ... (31 11-411) parking.utilities included. seeking lemale UCSD Summer Session Catalog in April. Cashier Position- Approx . 30 hrs.lwk . $425.00/month 755-5860. (411-414) j/l) ," pVER 300 COURSES · Mornings and weekends needed. Griffin Or you can request a Catalog by E-Mail: " ' '\ "~. 1 )",~,:f.. Ace Hardware- DelMar/Carmel Vatley. 3880 [email protected]. rlNTENSIVitLANGUAGE COURSES " Valley Centre Dr. 793-1771 (3111-414)_ For a look at the Catalog on the Web: ,< .. " . ;... ,.... :. i Compl.~e . the ft,..c: full year of study In the (ollowlng languages: Needed: Part· time Youth Director FaHbrook http://sdcc12.ucsd.edu/-ss2l. , £- United Mtthodist Church. Experience leadingyounpreferred. Calf (619)728-1472. r------, ,:. \ f~.i.:. ,.'{ 6.:~;:~e 9 am-2 pm. A United Campus Ministry V: ·' t.Week '"ymce CounCj AlIlfiate. (3111 -418) I Please send me a free I Earn cash stuffingenvefopes at home. Send I 1996 Summer Session Catalog: I SASE to P.O.Box 774. Olathe. KS. 66051 . '~~:/::.1 G: No TRICKS. , (317-418) I I i .,.< x A Spanish • Eam S3OCO-S6000& gain vefuable business y tel.Week SeqYence Coynes I I eXlHlrience selling yellow page advertising f ~ Chinese We are .tudent run and have a wide selection in your University's Official Campus I NAME I French ,. Telephone Directory this SUMMER . Grounds. Italian of uNCI but current books that you win need .. Excetlent Relations I ADDRESS I adVertisinw'saIesIPubIic for your cia..... UCSO RESUME BOOSlER. Call College I I Japanese Directory Pubfishing: ~~2221 ext.230 .. . \ .. (314-512) I I We are located In the .outhwe.t corner of the Thurgood Marshall College and ASUCSO presents: CiTY NEW ~UROPE PROGRAM Togo's-Del Mar. Friendly. smiMng people I I Revelle campu., behind Argo Hall and down CULTURAL CElEBRATION 1996 wanted lor PT days. Sandwich maker. shil1 STATE/ZIP Select course. ,.elated to the momentoul changes mgr. positions available. $5.50 to start. Call I I occurrin, In Europe (1996 Theme: Un1f1catlon) past the Plus Card OffIce. Donctrs: follrlorlco. MusIC: Corlbbton Chlldrtn 's Am , Melanie. 481-3821 . (314-411) I I FilipIno MOrlochl Cro ns " RIdes Mail to: • systems Operator wanted. On campus. For catalog/application cont.lrt: Chrnesc lion 8rozlI"on Story ttll,ng 10+ hrs.lwk. Must have demonstrated I UCSD SUMMER SESSION. I Univl' l'sity of C.lliforrll,\ SPECIAL HOURS FOR FIRST WEEK r,'-F 8flrn TO 5pm israelI Step Show Ethnrc CuiSInes knowledge 01 Windows and Windows I 9500 GILMAN DR. 0179-16 I , MORE!!! Applications. Must be lam~iar with MS LA JOLLA CA 92093-0179 SIIflHllf'1' Sc\siom. Df'pt. SO s,....ord ..y: ASUCSD.. CD_ ••' of ProIHllt.J, TM ProVOJ I', 6 CN.,,'. Access and MS Word mail merges. Prefer I I S.mt.1 BMb.1I'a. CA 93106-1010 ". Oflkft, TM Coliif' COfIfHili UCAI. tu.,.""" Co",,,,,"U fo, eM'h"." knoWledge 01 Windows NT and sequel Plwrw (1\05)893-2047 FAX: (HOS)f!93-lJ06 Regular aten hours: MWF 11am-3pm C_rl.. , I(APUN T.. ". --. _"" ,rw "..1.. II service. sa.50hll. contact Mala OUCSD I I I E '111,111: suO 1sums"· llesbu)(J.llC,.I).f'

Final score: University of Kentucky 112, Syracuse 65 . UCSD Hosts Spring Blast And it won't be that close. That's what the scoreboard will read after tonight's HUGE: Over 2,400 debacle, otherwise known as entrants competed at thc NCAA championship the Spring Break Invite game. The number-two team in the nation will go up against By Dan Kraft the 41 st-ranked team. Sounds Sports Editor like it will be a dandy , right? Last Saturday, the UCSD track Monday night 's game will and field team played host to Divi­ be a mismatch and a bore. I sion I, II, III and the world, as over want to know what moron was 2,400 athletes repre­ in charge of the seeding senti ng 89 clubs, process for the NCAA countries and schools basketball tournament. converged on Tliton Because whoever it was, he did Track and Field Sta­ a crappy job. dium for the Spring There were two dominant Break Open. teams during the season in It was the hope of college hoops: Kentucky and UCSD Head Track the University of Massachu­ Coach Ted Van Arsdale that the setts. Compiling 32-1 and 35-2 quality of competition in this year's records, respectively, no other meet would continue to raise the teams were more heavily stature ofTriton track and field . The favored to win the big dance. meet's elite did not disappoint, as But somehow, I and the rest nine stadium records were set - of America watched these including an American record in the same twlol teams battle it out in women's pole vault. the semifinals. Somebody on It was UCSD's Tiffany Smith the NCAA committee should who achieved that feat, clearing a have realized that these two height of 13'2.5" to better the old teams should play in opposite mark by one inch, selling a new Blur of apHd: UCSO's Matt Amero hurdles through the night during the Spring Break Open. brackets, so that they wouldn't American record. meet before the championship Stadium and meet records for the J.J . Castner, Gavin Klinger and athletes." cally qualifying for a trip to the game. But alas, moronic minds men were set in the 10,000- and Bryan Leek (all competing in the Castner (14:25.3) set a new Division m championships. prevailed. 5,OOO-meter distance races, as well tough invitational field) each had school record in the 5,000, improv­ Other successes on the track for Instead, we have to watch as the long jump and discus. It was personal bests en route to 5th, 8th ing by almost three seconds on his the UCSD men occurred in the the best team in college, UK, Brazilli.an national team member and 12th place, respectively. own record, and earned an auto­ 3,OOO-meter steeplechase, as John playa sorry team with one Wander Moura who shattered the "BecaUie of the quality and no­ matic bid to the NCAA champion­ Walsh, competing in the invitational good player. old record in'the 5,000 with a timeof toriety of our faci lity ," Van Arsdale ships. Klinger, who competed in the di vision, grabbed fourth despite tak­ Kentucky has 10 terrific 13:36.85. said, "our athletes get a chance to event for the flnt time this season, ing a spill. Walsh tumbled over the players, including high school That race was also the stage for compete with some of America's improved by over 18 seconds to first hurdle of the race but had the "" All-Americans like Tony Delk, some of the top Triton athletes, as best and learn how to become better finish in 14:37.13, also automati- See BREAK, Page 17 Antoine Walker, and Walter McCar1y. It also boasts one of the smartelll coaches around, an Italian wizard named Rick Pitino. Furthermore, their Triton Crew Gets Rude A-Wake-ening unifonns look good. Syr~cu e, on the other hand, WAKE: UCSD had four boats in the Crew Classic, but its best hope was stopped dead by a passing boat has Jo~n Wallace - a versatile 6'9" center - and an orange By Dan Kraft ended. in Heat C, the UCSD rowers pulled Western Washington. That time put for a mascot. Oh , I forgot, the Sports Editor The Tritons entered a ingle nov­ to a third-place finish in a time of them about a quarter boat length in Orangcmen have a Steve Last weekend 's Crew Classi c, ice eight boat on the men' s side and, 6:45.58 behind UC Berkeley and front of rival San Diego State in a Forbes look-a-likc for a (Oach . held in Mi ss ion Bay, featured the preview of the Last but not least, their l one best of the best from all around the upco ming ci ty dcfcnse sc heme is as old as nati on. Presti giou s championships. Bob Dole's father. crews from Harvard The Tritons' What doc' all thi s mean ? and WashiQgton paid third-place fini sh , ran the Orangeman shock the a visit to the local relegated them to world and heat the Wildcats? bay , normally inhab­ the petite final , a Will the viewing audience ited by our very own sort of consola­ witness a d osc, hard-fought Triton rowers and tion final which contest '! Well .. . no. Basically, local competitors, pits the second Syracuse will lose, and they ' ll the University of San tierofheat finish­ do it very well . Pitino will out­ Diego and San Diego State Univer­ ers against one coach Forbes. The Wildcat sity. another. mascot will queeze some juice The Tritons sent three women's The UCSD out of the friendly fruit from crews and a single men's crew to the crew placed fifth I Syracuse. And the fans will be highly competitive event. The ac­ behind UC Santa Milk Pattersonl Gtwdtan booing by the time some fat tion began on Saturday, and unfor­ Barbara, lady finishes singing the tunately for the men, that is when it Pull: The UCSD novice eight A crew rows during Sunday's action at the Classic. See SO, Pg 13

______.II.I.] .. 1il·];~~ ______•

...·.TennIs: w...... ' • 8oIf: The Triton 1ot'tINII1: Pomona Pizter T... nla: UCSD squad traveled Mon., April 1, vs. Buen9 Vista (lA) at NCR, 2 p.m. came to town on grabbed two to St. Mary's I ...... : Saturday, and more victories University and Tues" April 2, vs. Pomona Pitzer at Triton Stadium, 2 p.m. UCSD played the over the break, defeated their 8oIf: unkind host, but did suffer a foes by a score Mon-Tues., April 1-2, at UC Irvine InVitational, All Day getting its only defeat at the of 234-239 in a win of the Spring hands of Div. I key victory over Break week. CSU Fullerton. the break. ·_:I~·.·'·ll" , uc .... en.z H DIS R E c:.1111_ ...... • SANTA CRuz, Calif.­ Senior administrators arUC Santa Cruz voted unanimous1y last Tuesday to disband the campus and destroy all infrastructure because university buildings were impeding 'prime land for growing marijuana cash crops. "I mean, what is the use OH, SA Y CAN UC MONDAY, APRIL I, 1996 VOLUME Y, ISSUE -11 of having a Santa Cruz campus," Chancellor Dingle· berry said. "We tried that 'no grades' gimmick, but that didn't Regents Salvage Affirmative Action work, and we ran out of ideas." Students have yet to protest and WARD: Influential The remaining regents immedi­ plained the reasons for his sudden are currently unaware of the ately followed Connerly' s lead, change of heart. announced changes. regent wins fight to claiming they too felt that affirma­ ''I'm sick and tired of being - Shitty on a Hill Press bring back policy tive action wa neces ary for ha sled by the Man," Connerly said. . - . .. acheiving diversity at the Univer­ ''The Man will no longer control the By Lew Lew sity of California. A vote was then University of Arizona." -~~-{~ Associate news tyrant taken, and affinnative action was A reporter then corrected In a shocking development at reinstated by a 14-1 margin. Connerly, explaining that he meant SANTA BARBARA, Calif. - last Thursday's UC Board of Re­ The only dissenting vote was to say "University of California." Following his lawsuit against gents meeting, Regent Ward from Student Regent Ed Gomez. "Whatever," Connerly said, Gov. Pete Wilson and the Connerly announced he had changed "I'm not voting for anything the cackling madly into the air. regents over affinnative action ·his mind and was now "fully in regents are in favor of," Gomez "I think Ward has flipped his and his shameless write-up support" of affinnative-action poli­ scowled menacingly. lid," Regent Claire Burgesson said. about the whole mess,Daily I cies in university admisssions, hir­ At a one-hour press conference "And, frankly, he can just kiss my Plnocchio: Ward Connerly is a Nexus editor Tim Malloy will ing and contracting. following the meeting, Connerly ex- See SHEEP, Page 27 puppet to Wilson's wishes. now lOp all previous attempts of narcissism. An inside source witnessed the editor pUlling the finishing touches on a large New Charter rubber sculpture of his own CAUGHT RED-HANDED ! name. Malloy plans to display the 10-foot-tall piece in front of Wilson 's office in Sacramento School Finally as a protest against something. ''I'll sue the damn governor and the damn regents," the editor Approved babbled. "And when I'm done suing everyone, I' ll go on tour ON-CAMPUS: Branch of with my big rubber sculpture." 'Memphis Carborator - The Solar Plexus College' will be at Muir

SDSUlO-Y.. By Peppermint Patty Senior Graduat.. Charlie Brown 's lover SA DIEGO - In his 10th and While UCSD Interim Chancellor final year of eligibility, Marjorie aserio has yet to give her ap­ perennial San Diego State provalto the on-campus charter high school University student Bill Smiff proposal sponsored by Marshall Provost [sic) recently passed his final Cecil Lytle, she gave the nod Friday to a required course for graduation, charter school of a different kind, which 'Adding and Subtracting: would be located at Muir College. Cracking the Mystery.' "Biff is The school, officially listed as a branch an excellent student. And he's a of the Memphis Carborator College (MCC) great quarterback, too," SDSU system in Tennessee, would provide high Football Coach and sometime school drop-outs the opportunity to learn math Professor Ted Tollner how to repair cars, trucks and airplanes, said. An review will verify while in the comfortable con tines of a top Srniffs [sic) exam scores for UC college cam pus. possible discrepancies and drool "This is a great day for UCSD," Caserio stains. "It's about time Stniff said. "With [Lytle's) proposal, I was con­ [sic) graduated. He lasted longer cerned about messy incidents and underage than I did," former SDSU Jack-otf Guardian dating. But with MCC coming to our cam­ President Biff Day snickered. Drunken stupor: A.S. President Naomi Falk was up to her old habits last week, as she hit the pus, I know all our administrators' cars will - The Random Masthead bottle too hard (left), made a spectacle of herself (middle) and was finally arrested (right). be in tip-top shape." 'This whole Muir charter school pro­ _1{·I·l ~.:I~;~_ posal is gonna be jolly good!" she added with a silly English accent. UCSD Guardian Newspaper Renounces Muir College was selected as the official si te for the carborator school due to its Independence, Will Become a Collective convenience and the minimal degree of im­ pact to the Muir campus. Muir officials STRANGE CHANGES: stressful, so we thought we'd copy the Last Indi­ offered several of their buildings to house cator and tum out a piece of crap once a month." the college, including HSS and AP & M. Location in Old Student Center Hugged by the members of the Food Co-op and "Hell, our students are more concerned was main reason for decision Groundwork Books while they made their an­ about marijuana growth than anything else," nouncement, Guardian revolutionaries denied re­ Muir Provost Patrick Ledden said. '" told By Iv.. the Terrible ports that violence played a role in the uprising. Caserio that you could put a death camp in Guardian news czar "A revolution of the people and not the police the middle of Muir and no one would notice. Citing problems with Editor in chief Tedd state occurred yesterday," spat the Collective, She just said as long as there weren't any WHOA! Ladd's conservative politics, Guardwn editors collectively. 'messy incidents,' she'd give the go-ahead announced yesterday at their own press confer­ The group then chanted in unison that they to Muir. And I'm tickled pink she decided to OPINION: Who would • ence that they had voted 10 oust the editor, along "hope to hold a •AII- We-Can-Write' night every stick with the proud Muir tradition." win: Aztec or Triton? with the paper's private corporation status, in Tuesday at the CbC Cafe, at which, for a minimal With the addition of MCC, Muir students Clearly an Aztec. Wrong. 1 favor of converting the Guardian to a co-op. co t to cover printer paper, any writer can come will now have a new "Pointless Require­ "The switch from a capitalistic parasite to a and write what she damn well pleases, without ment" added to their degree. For all Muir HIATUS: Bill and George planet-saving co-op was inevitable," the fear of some editor judging their content and students graduating after 1996, the new re­ Clinton rock the Casbah, entireGuardwn Collective said in a unified voice. subsequently destroying it with erroneous edits." quirement gives them an option between rock the Ca.~bah... HI "With the advent of that facist Tedd Ladd and his A.S. Commisioner of Media Farsam Shaddup Mufflers 101, Hot-Wiring Made Easy 205, neo-Nazi politics, it became apparent that a revo­ screamed with joy and pulled out his checkbook, Turbines: The Silent Killers, or the normal SP0II1S: UCSD riverboat lution was in the making. The collective also asking, "Where do I sign upT' two-part Muir College Writing Series. gambling team had an ace decided that producing a biweekly paper was too ' See NASTY, UK! I UKE IT, Page 69 See IDIOTS MUST DIE, Pace 3 up its sleeve last week M D2 NEWS The UCSD Disre-Guardian Monday. Aprill. 1996 Monday. April I. 1996 The UCSD Disre-Guardian NEWS D3

Professor Peter Irons MORE CRAP. -.. A.S.: Dowd's jock Attacks New Mascot strap missing Continued from peee 1 PADRES: The swingin' friar is the current target back my underwear and my stuffed for Irons' crusade against hapless Christians animals!" A.S. VP External Brian Dowd bawled. "It·s not fair! It·s By Pilt Robertson the mascot itself, except when it is just not fair!" Lights & Sirens is a selection of err 1:03 Lm.: Officers arrested two 2(} units on a stakeout. Porter's Pub. Playing wIth fire pelted by tomatoes and other large wiT'" Dowd lhen cried a ri ver and ran SINCERE. APOLOGII:S TO tries compiled from the log book of the year-old male student shuttle bus driv­ 10:09 p.m.: Officers arrested ASUCSD SUn., MIrch 31 In the wake of his recent vic­ fruits by Irons and his renegade out of the meeting. MATT 6Ro£III I I11G) UCSD Police Department. ers for drag racing on Voigt Dr. Three President Naomi Falk for indecent ex­ 10:51 Lm.: A student reported the tory over Christian groups for the atheist clan. posure, public drunkenness. violation of Roosevelt College. Sewch Falk.Nicollandtheotherseven­ J£ ~ F AIliD AI<8AA . pedestrians were crushed, folX were theft right to hold an atheist Easter ser­ " I don't know what his problem Mon., MIrch 25 maimed. and five suffered minor inju­ of several state obscenity statutes. continues. No leads. tually puttheircJothes back on and vice under the Mount Soledad is," SDSU ~tudent and Padre fan 8:43 a.m.: Students reported the kid­ ries. All were taken to Thornton Hospi­ disrupting the peace and being a gen­ 11:48 p.m.: Officers investigated a resumed normal A.S. business. eros, UCSDpolitical science Pro­ Biff Smiff (sic) said . "Someone napping of stuffed animals from sev· tal. Suspects were cited WId released. eral nuisance. Ordered to spend a disturbance at the Guardian office "I can'l believe [Dowd) would eral rooms in Tioga Hall. Loss: zilch. 2:26 p.m.: University Centers Director weekend with Peter Cha~. and found several students attack­ fessor Peter Irons announced yes­ must have twisted hi s ponytail in do such a thing." Falk said. puffing 10:35 8.m.: Officers arrested a Jim Carruthers reported the theft of FrI., M.ch 29 ing their editor with assorted pieces 26- on a large cigar. " [ mean, after all terday that his next knots ." year-old male non-affiliate at Tioga Assistant Vice Chancellor Tommy 3:33 p.m.: Three 33-year-old male non­ of office fumiture. OffICers jolr.ed the target was the San Although offi­ Hall for attempting to ransom the sto­ Tucker and of his offICe . affiliates were arrested at the Che students and beat the editor to a we've been through. after all the Diego Padre~ ' ma~ ­ cially ~ta ndin g len animals. Transported to Thornton 2:28 p.m.: Officers recovered the con­ Cafe Garden for outstanding warrants bloody pulp. Transported to Black's painfu I hours. after all the ... the ... COl. behindtheirloopy Hospital after being battered by SUr tents ofTucker's offICe from the Price forimpersonati!,€humanbei!,€s. Taken and left to die. good lovin' .... " The beloved faculty member, dents . Center fountain. to Las Colinas. Rejected after strip Mon., AprIl 1 "I feel like I'm waiting oul ajail friar. clothed in a UCSD adminis­ Tues., March 26 2:30 p.m.: Officers recovered Tucker search and taken to County Jail. 3:12 p.m.: A 18-year-old female stu­ entence." he added . from the utility tunnels below campus. 11:53 p.m.: OffICers arrested an 18- dent suffered uncontrollable laugh­ brown robe and trators were 4:15 a.m.: OffICers evacuated Warren An unknown A.S. officer then and the college formerly known as Tucker became stuck while climbing year-old male student at Argo Hall for ter at Peterson Hall shortly after the swinging an over­ slightly ske pti ca l pointed out that Falk had recently Rfth aft~r three fraternity members through a manhole. Emergency stUdying. Cited, released in Tijuana beginning of Prof. Shenk's Math 1A sized bat, was the of [rons' latest brokd into a EBU I lab, activated a liposuction performed. and ordered off campus until Monday. lecture. Shenk stormed out when been released from jail, where she Padres' official cause. fusion reactor without closing the door Thurs .• March 28 Sat.• March 30 the rest of the class joined her. had been serving time for indecenl mascot until its de­ "[Irons] is a first, and contaminated the area with 8:56 a.m.: Interim Chancellor Case rio 7:43 8.m.: A professor reported being 6:50 p.m.: San Diego Health Depart­ exposure, publicdrunkcnness, vio­ mise in 1974. This loose cannon," gamma radiation. Students were cited reported the theft of her dignity. No browbeaten after students saw the ment investigators ordered Top of lation of several state obscenity amount of reading required for her the Quad closed after students year, however, se­ "Tobeho~, I UCSD Interim and released. Building was bulldozed. loss. 18 stalutes. disrupting the peace and 10:18 p.m.: Officers arrested a 99- 4:32p.m.: Parkingenforcementtowed class. Transported to Student Health contracted salmonella from the nior officials of the Chancellor and being a general nuisance. don't know why year-old male non-affiliate at the Pub fIVe cars from lot 701 for blocking after being rejected by Thomton. evening's mystery meat. Leftovers 'They can't pin anything on baseball organiza­ I'. doIn. this at devout Padres fan for being drunk in public . Transported traffic. Stored at Star Towing. Cars 6:03 p.m.: OffICers detained a H)·year­ given to Food for Thought. tion elected to bring Majorie Caserio to Detox . were released after officers realized old male student for stressing before - Complied by Lew Lew. me," Falk squealed. " Well . any­ back the character • 11 •••• 1 ...- said . "He's off the Weds ., March 27 the cars were actually undercover SDPD the first day of classes . Transported to Associate News Tyrant thing butlhe indeccntexposure ...... - and a new slo­ H'sJust deep end. The gan, " Keep the engine's on, but Faith" - in time because I'. nobody's behind I------~-· for the start of the bor.... Or the wheel. He's I PARnES! PARnES! PARnES! I Now ENROLLING : SAN DIEGO'S #1 COURSE FOR THE 1996 season. .8"" not playing with a I 1(j~II BIKlNrs! MODELl! BIKINI'S! I Irons said he H'sbecausel full deck. He's got 11 I "SPRING FLING 196 I will start an all-out like to be a brick missing I I media bliLZ on April from his wall. I March 22 through April 14 at Party Headquarters I 5, including orga­ He's got a screw I DESERT HOT SPRINGS SPA HOTEL I nized events and loose. He's a 10805 Palm Desert Hot Springs "fi Ii ng lots of ap­ UCSD professor of political wacko ... .. I Dri~ I 1-800-808-SPAS (7727) peals and things." science, ex·monk, former "This is off the I in protest of the lead singer of Supertramp, record. rightr' she BRlNti THIS AD mascot's reinstate- and defender of liberty added. FROM UCSD PUBLIC RELATIONS ••• FOR U DAY ADMIIIION# ment. Former drum­ HI believe there's an underly­ merof I 970ssupergroupSupertnunP. ing issue here," [ron said. "We're Kevin Currie. had this to say about UCSD Student Reports Having Sex Serving the UCSD pre-medical community since 1985 dealing with the separation of the off-lhe-rocker professor: H[ used church and baseball." to hang out with Peter all the time, For the first time since UCSD opened its doors in ScrIpps to ContInue Blasting "Make no mistake, I' m a fan of man. I don't know what happened. 1964, a member ofthe student population has engaged in sexual Intercourse - and with another human being. WINdes out of the Water *M.D.'s TRAINING M.D.'s-OF-THE-FUTURE * the swinging friar and [have noth­ He used 10 be such a big fan of the not him- or herself. Buck Naked. a Muir College seventh­ Continuing its efforts to preserve ocean resources, • INTENSIVE MCAT preparation & medical school application! ing against him personally. [n fact. little padre. man." year senior reported having sex in his room Friday night. UCSO's Scripps Institute of Oceanography (SIO) has admissions assistance arc all we do! 1 used to be a monk once, if memory Irons' next efforts will be di­ "I was going to e-mail my girlfriend, who I met on the broadened its Acoustic Thermometry of Ocean Climate serves me correct," he added. rected toward pulling out all the Internet. but the real thing seemed much more excit­ and Carnage (ATOC&C) experiment. Focused on the • MeAT EXPERTS: an independent program taught by UCSD-traincd 11'1 sing in a church choir every white crosses at Arlington Memo­ ing," Naked said. phenomenon of global warming and striving for the academic M.D.'s. top M.D.- Ph.D. ca ndidates. & English Department Ph.D. faculty . Sunday . I don't know if that has to rial Cemetery in Washington. D.C .• The campus reaction to Naked's revelation ilicited elimination of unwanted plankton predators - such as do with anything, but I thought I'd and boycotting the Federal Reserve mixed responses . While some feel sex may be a good whales - ATOC&C bounces hlgh-power sound waves • ORIGINATOR. not simulator. of inlcnsive MCAT prep in San Diego. thing. others see it as a dangerous trend which will harm say it anyway." he added again . over the use of "In God We Trust" under the PacifIC Ocean. several factions on campus. "It seems that while the ocean temperature has • 14 WEEKS (150+ hours) of detail ed in-class instruction & rcal MCAT ·''To be honest. I don't know on all Uniled States' currency. Officials from the UCSO Police Department said that remained stable over the last century. the whale popu­ testing. problem so lving, reading/writing workshops, review group , why I'm doing this at all .... [guess "I've decided not to use any although this is a rare occurence. they do not believe it lation has exploded since becoming a protected species med school application & a dmi s~io n s strategie s. & tutoring. it'~ just because I'm bored. Or paper money for the next three will have a negative Impact on the campus. in the 195Os. The sound waves' success at killing as • 2000 PAGES of original take-home review notes. reading & writing maybe it's because 1 like to be weeks." Irons said. "Of course. lhis "We were actually hoping for something like this." many of those predators as possible makes the whole studyguides. MCAT & admi sions strategy handouts, problem sets, & naughty," he added for a third time. will create a problem for me when Police Chief Maudie Bobbitt said. "Hopefully everyone $1.5 billion experiment worthwhile," ATOC&C Director MCAT-quality timed practice exams. Outraged fans have vowed to r have to eat from vending ma­ at UCSO will follow [Naked's) example. This will reduce and Professor of Plankton Studies Sam Enella said . the excessive amount of sexual harassment found In Enella added that. as one of the most intelligent • REAL MCAT TESTING for in-class & take-home practice. stand behind Padres ownership and chines." many offices on campus, Including our own. " creatures on Earth. whales should be considered a • DIRECT CONTACT with young UCSD docs & med students. However. personnel from UCSO's Office of Academic national security threat. "The whale overpopulation Computing Services had mixed feelings about making problem is a threat to plankton and therefore the world'<; • TUTORING. pre-med library & med chool application help included. ERRATAS: an example of Naked 's behavior. oxygen supply and mankind's survival, " Enella said. "I know that sex is an appealing thing, " Head Com­ "Further rneasures need to be taken to blast that • ON CAMPUS at the UeSD School of Medici ne. • In reference to an April 23. 1996 article in the Guardian. A.S. VP Rnance puter Analyst Lester Prudish. "But if all the computer accursed species off the planet. · • I.OWER TUITION than other courses. Edmondo Robinson was called "the spawn of Satan, pure evil in human form. " nerds start having sex, we may have to shut down our UCSD Professor of Exobiology Ester Tarestrial said In fact, Robinson is not any of these things. but ~ is a recovering alcoholic. services due to lack of interest. Who's gonna e-mail if that the experiment had succeeded in wiping out half of • In reference to a May 25. 1975 issue of the Guardian. "verisillimltude" was they're busy hamg sex?" the blue whale population in the Pacific , and was really misspetlled. Prudish added that students should practice their annoying killer whales in tne Arctic circle. • In reference to an April 1 , 1996 erratum in the Guardian, Edmonda Robinson computer skills instead of sexual positions. "Those fat Sea World losers really hate the gangsta­ ~ was Incorrectly refered to as • a recovering alcoholic," In fact, Robinson ' Technology is the wave of the future. ' Prudish said. rap music we're blasting down there." Terestrial said. "It t!6 current,lydrinks himself into a stupor every night, even during A.S. meetings, "Not sex." serves 'em right , they ate my daughter."

DAN ""'-II. 80," SWEENEY. Missing In Aclfon AN AOIIOInc. DYlUXIC INSOMNIAC : II euy who stays up all night pondering BRENT "12~" JOttMON. Mop Head the ..Istence of doC A DEREK "M8IIIIIum" VAN HOFTEN. Ttle Real Deal GOOD DRINICS: Gin and Tonic. Tom Collin s. Lone Island Ice Tea. Marcarlta. Black Russian. Sex on the Beach . Whiskey Sour, FUllY Navel Come to our FREE Wednesday, April 10th DAN "Not So KnftJ" KRAFT, SeIJ(l Bradley Prototype PBOFIIIONAL SUN ·FooII loy" RAHIMt. Shaq Daddy Himself ANN ·T.too" BAREFIELD. Ads With Attitude JEFF .a.- DIIeII" NIDn, Ready to Quit BOB "Wild MM" DeANDREA. Guardian "Gossip Manager LSAT Test DriveIMeet-the-Instructor rr. __IIUlIot/Itd_1IIo ""' .. _ tocbwt IIIe _,.• .., one! "" VAIlOV 'D8te Me" ZOLOTORIV. Photo Pimp MIKE ·In BIId Tnt." MARnNEZ. Sitcom Connoisseur CNUCK ·Now ....." NGUYEN. Floor Hoclley Rlnter ead Il10._ 01 UCSO. ~.IINI __ "flf/Iarm. _in_Of .. pili, RlTHYA ·OrancH'laYo ...." TANG. l\tith a Voice Lllle Honey Night, 5 to 9PM. Take a full-length I,,"~ I_.~ _.n.~ilnoI MIlD! ·L.t'. !MIl...... " MUZHIK, ~afIh to Heidi. Come In ... __ __ .. _ .• .... JOHN BARBER, MislJ(lthroplc Cartoonist ...... ""1IIe II •• 01 ...... -. Of anr _ COIIIIY ""11M _ . TlIt _ DOMINIC "TIle OtIIer IAIIIII." LOIIIIIA. Hitler WttI! a Pen JOE·A Flatt In tile ... " PAN. Graphic Hoodlum _Itd .....ICS ...... 1011 ... _Of_nl'donol_~_ IREJIIA "Mr..... " LATHAM. Fonl1ue Queen LSAT (3.5 hours), then participate Il1o · ~.IIcf · .... '''Il10 __• rr.~ III ~"'CI\IIomItOl_ PREPCOUIE _""""" .... AI_St_ , n.~ .. f\nIod.....,..,.....,._ Editorial: 534-6581, News/FeatOlea: 534-5226, """ ~ boer *,. 1110'1 OK. 1M ",·r.. III NIIOfIIIIIY 01.1100" ) TMI WtIIAL WUI'ON IIIIID: Le_h. WeIlf)Of\. Le"'. We"""" II, Opinion/Sports: 534-6582. Hlotus: 534-6583 te.". WelllOn III Buslne •• Fops: 534-3466. Fax: 534-7691 aftelWards in a customized mock review TIDD "Y'" ...... !.ADD. 1'rr1ductJ0II Dey !WI ~tllOUl~: Teny, 1IoIJIIIt, Chrll, C""IlI.." Pit, VII, Alex , I&MOAII .,...... " MIIIAWII. MorII Suwort . SIm. 541..,. D~I . Leo. L•• Ne. MoIJtn. JelIn. 0.".. Kelly e-mell: ,u8flll~ICI . edu ...... 1'V _ nnD: I_lit Db ...IlOn. Indecent ProposItiOn. In RSYP, AMA ...... VAIIIIAJI, SI~ Intruence Hey. It's 8jok•. A joke. O.K.? Come on. now. with some of our finest instructors. to please (all SCOTT Of. CtI_U ,." , • RfI.wrIfer tile LIM Of Are: TIle UntOld SIOlY. Will of Oocell, Not My KId , A Ro .. Before ~r. A St' .....r ·' III ... Beuayll of Innocence UCSD w.r.Gu~'1OO QIIIMft DrIve 0318, JOIII ...... -elY. Sorter of MllIHnah ,....,..,.. fIIrtl= DAVID IVIL twill: M.cUl ·GIfth· LobbII (619)" 455-1000 M.... La Jolla, CA 92093-0318 IVAN ...... DaVlJmlM, Honorary Food for TIIouI/If Pre,ldenf POIIII ....: Holly WOUld. Buck NII

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avoid TlCketmuIcr and save fans f\t#lt-}tl Ilt f money,tickets are $75. -I .~ 08 SPORTS '- Monday, April I, 1996 RED SCARE KARL MARX The Revolution Won't Be on TV

Given the recent success of the United Auto Workers ' strike against General Motors, it seems that organized labor's renaissance has dawned. We r t must not forget past injustices against workers, however, for the uncaring hand of big business always remains raised RIMAC BOUND: Reasons for UCLA guard's defection are increased to smash the rights of the proletariat in thi s country. We playing time, a chance to take more threes and loss to Princeton should never forget the martyrs of the last major labor conflict: 8y D... Crudd insofar untapped scoring propensi­ "Look man, no no give da the hard-working baseball A Fungus Amongu5 ties," Bailey spewed. "I firmly be­ boy no crap," Triton guard players of America. In a press conference held last lieve that 70 points per game and 15- Quien Saywhat said. "He be git Who will ever forget the Friday afternoon in the RIMAC main 20 three-point attempts are well within cia ball and go up in de lane, day the baseball players went arena, UCSD Athletic Director Judy mycapabilities- featsthattheUCSD give it the bad cause got up on strike. They sacrificed it all Sweet announced that the Tritons have offense most definitely shall . grant what's at." - their livelihood, the lured UCLA sophomore Toby Bailey me," UCSD Director of Sports playoffs, the World Series - away from Pauley Pavilion and to the The Triton basketball team mem­ Information Bill Gannon to make a stand against low comfortable confines of Tritondom. bers were also enthusiastic about the seemed especially pleased with • pay and poor working condi­ ''I'm so excited," Sweet said after signing, feeling that Bailey will give the move. tions. In doing so, they boldly the conference. "I mean,the curly hair the team the added dimension it needs "Actually, I've never heard stood in front of the titans of and the braces, and how he's so ath­ to defeat conference powerhouses like of him. I know UCLA is a big industry and said: "We will not letic, Ijustcan't wait." the Whittier Poets and Santa Cruz school-Division I, I think ­ accept wages that keep our Baily cited several reasons for leav­ Banana Slugs. so I guess he's pretty good." A.S. PresidenVGuBICIlan media whore families in this di smal lifestyle. ing UCLA, including the loss to' "We always seem to have trouble When one reporter asked New threat: Bailey should thrive in Furthermore, we will not rest Princeton in the NCAA tournament scoring more points than the other Gannon to elaborate on any ad- the Triton three-point attack. until we can work less than six and his deflating scoring average. He teams," Triton center Matt Aune said. ditional information regarding days a week ." The owners finall y sellied on UCSD because he "Toby Bailey scores a lot of points. I what many feel is the biggest event in "The economy is improving, quaked in their boots when felt the offense was more suited to his thi nk that's neat." Triton sports history, he replied: "Infor­ unemployment is down and San confronted with ~ u c h a resolute style of play. When asked if the Tritons really mation. I don't have any information." Diego has its first halfway decent enemy . They could only settle "I feel that UCSD will afford me need yet another three-point shooter, Even San Diego Mayor Susan basketball player since Tom Cham­ with the wealth-producers in the distinct opportunity to explore my most players responded favorably . Golding was elated over the incident. bers," she ~ aid . one way, by negotiating with the players they had so brutally oppressed. ~ I was pro ud to be one of the Triton 'Gamblers UCsD Looks To proletariat that day. All of us - the factory workers, the gravediggers, the dental hygenists - stood proudly Hit the Jackpot Next Season next to the downtrodden revolutionaries. Barry Bonds, ALL ACES: After a successful weekend of DISAPPOINTMENT: Triton players felt they • Cesar Chavez and Karl Marx were one.at last, fighting for wagering, the Triton gamblers w~re high rollers were snubbed from post-season tournament

the rig_ts of the common man . By Sean Mlmlml By 00 which was labeled by some as the Unfortunately. the struggle Steak and sausage combo The writer formerly known as • best Division ill team of all time, in baseball is not over. It 's been that kind of year for the said. "It happened to be my lucky As the 1996 season comes to a was left out of the tourney. Baseball players are still forced UCSD riverboat gambling team. day. I pulled up three jacks and a close, the Tritons can only think of "We also beat that travelingjun­ to work under abhorrent You know, the kind of year when pair, and I was already seeing dollar what could have been. ior high school team and the Sisters conditions, sacrificing their you double-down and signs." After finishing higher than any­ ofOur Lord and Saviorall-starsquad bodies 'for the benefit of the tum up big money. The In other poker action, Triton var­ one anticipated this season, the - Don't forget," he said. ownerS. The tragic list of kind of year when you sity wagerman Bob Gullee bluffed UCSD squad faced disappointment Other team members echoed his injuries players suffer through­ buy insurance and the his way into a nifty $50,000 pot, the as it was denied a bid for the playoffs sentiments and felt betrayed by the out the season is proof of the dealer hits the jackpot. keys to a UNL V player's car and the late last week. While the team didn't selection committee. "We sucked. I owner's uncaring attitude. The kind of year when acquaintance of that sucker's girl­ have as good a record as many tearns don't think there's ever been a worse Many players are forced to rely you ' re playing Pai friend for Qne night. It was an inde­ seeded in the toumarnent, the kind tearn in the history ofmodem sports," on illegal drugs to kill the pain Gow poker and you ' ve cent proposal that the upstart fresh­ of heart and character it displayed a player said. "We could barely beat fromlhei .. Ilighily struggle. got a pair of aces and three-of-a­ man couldn't pass up. shouldn't have gone unrecognized. ourselves in practice." We cannot allow this abuse kind. Well, that kind of year. "I only had ajack high," Gullee The toumament selection com­ The Triton Head Coach accepted to continue. The baseball In any case, the Triton tricksters said. '" can't believe I duped those mittee completely overlooked the the disappointment, but remained • • players of America and their turned up on board the Queen Mary experienced players so well. And fact that UCSD posted a dominating optimistic about next year. families are counting on us all last week, as they took on Division I'm so happy for our team. , mean, victory over one of the tearns which "Make it stop, please make it to lake a stand against the I powerhouses UNL V and Univer­ we come from a Division mschool was selected in its place. stop," he said. ''I'll kill myself if I bourgeoisie owners. They own sity of Reno in a three-way, winner­ and we're not supposed to do so "Ycab, I think their bus broke have to coach this tearn next year." the stadiums, the hoi dog take-all poker tourney. well against scholarship gamblers." down somewhere in Barstow," said Some of the Triton players, factories and the television When the dust had settled and all UCSO's Head Gambling Coach a Triton junior in reference to the knowing they can't dwell on this stations. All we have are our the chips had been counted, UCSD Mack "The Knife" Guilini said that overpowering defeat of the nation­ most unjust of circumstances, have fists, our backs and our ball. emerged victorious, bringing home the weeks of preparation - learn­ ally ranked squad. "Although they already begun looking forward to Join our brothers in Major a cool $4S million in change. ing to count cards, sneak aces into sent some of their cheerleaders on next year. " heard coach said he'd , _ League Baseball and fi,ht for "I called one-eyed jacks !'nd obscure bodily orifices and other ahead, and they made a game of il" buy us all new unifonns and shoes if fair pay and safer womn, kings with the axes to be wild," tricks - ensured the victory for the The player went on to say how he we decided not to play forthetcam," conditions. UCSO senior stakesman Jack Black Tritons. couJdn'tbelicvelhil his Triton team, one player exclaimed.

1IIIICatoDo Dw.... : And: In COGIl ....u.e .. D..... Sleepy, Grumpy, addition, also, Fri., May 1, at Tijuana Main Arena, 10 p.m...... y.... Sneezy, Doc, and so on, C.: •• DaM: Go see Bashful, Dopey furthermore, Sat., May 2, at UnlwnJty of Montreal, Noon a Rockies and one more etcetera, " . ..•• ~.ra: game, tour that we just moreover, Sat., April 20, VS. Welnburger Elementary School at the downtown, can't therefore, thus, Revelle Quad, 3:30 p.m. hang out In a remember. Can In conclusion, bar, visit... you? finally ... blah.

'It .....