The Onion’s got nothin’ on us THE Varsity see backpage Vol. CXXXII, No. 22 University of Toronto’s Student Newspaper Since 1880 26 March, 2012

We review Rich Aucoin, Cloud Nothings, PS I Love You, and more at Canadian Music Week p10 6 February VOL. V 2012 No. 2 THE DESIGN ISSUE The Varsity Magazine IN THIS ISSUE toronto designers profiled 10 How to brew your own beer 22 these people dress better than you 27 Vol. CXXXII, No. 20 University of Toronto’s Student Newspaper Since 1880 5 March, 2012 THE Varsity

Bernarda Gospic/THe VArsity UTSU ELECTION 2012 No Holds

BarredCandidates clash over the undergrad bar, multi-faith spaces, and drop credit proposal

Simon Bredin Hostilities hamper proceedings ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Despite an opening plea for civility from moderator and Multi-Faith Centre director Shouting matches dominated UTSU’s four- Richard Chambers, the raucous debate and hour all-candidates debate Wednesday night heated rhetoric left many students disap- in Hart House, where a large yet divided pointed. Chambers was forced to expel at crowd argued about issues like an under- least one student from the room. graduate bar, clubs funding, study space, and When Team Unity presidential candi- budgetary transparency. date Shaun Shepherd spoke, some stu- The debate was a face-off between Team dents jeered and held up posters saying Unity, a slate led by current VP external “No More Dirty Tricks, Mr. Shepherd.” Shaun Shepherd, and StudentsFirst, the first CRO Daniel Lo later penalized Students- opposition team to qualify for office in two First over these tactics, although Schmidt years headed, by Brent Schmidt. had publicly denied his slate’s involve- Public notice of the debate wasn’t issued ment in the posters’ production and dis- until a day before despite the room being re- tribution. served since February 10. Team Unity released a statement the fol- A “wrong version” of an announcement lowing day, expressing their frustration had been sent out and used widely, according with the “barrage of yelling, screaming, to chief returning officer Daniel Lo, resulting racist, and Islamophobic attacks” that oc- in the short notice. Due to this, UTSU decid- curred throughout the evening. ed to live-stream the debate for viewers, Lo During the debate, independent presi- added. dential candidate Rohail Tanoli repeatedly A UTSU staffer told The Varsity that the railed against the hostilities on display, video would remain available for students to calling it a “sad state of affairs.” watch online but it was quietly removed from the website on Friday with no explanation. CONTINUED P7

election apathy UTSU ELECTIONS 2012 VARSITY EDITORIAL Is this the Candidates “A concrete and change we want? weigh in attainable platform” James Finlay diagnoses why the UTSU UTSU’s presidential hopefuls In this UTSU election editorial, The Varsity explains elections are failing to connect with students outline their visions for a better U of T why this candidate is the best one for the job see page 14 see page 9 see page 10 var.st/ARTS 27 FEBRUARY ONLINE EXCLUSIVE

2012 GOON GETS Arts & Culture [email protected] FINGERED: DOES THE POSTER DESERVE A LICKING? Check it out: http://var.st/arts19a y sit r A V

e H T / T JADE COLBER JADE

Madeline Thien writes on one of the 20th century’s unknown genocides in her novel Dogs at the Perimeter p14

Reviews Born to Die by Lana Del Rey The voice of Lana Del Rey can be summed up in one charged word: sultry. Her sophomore album, Born To Die, is so intimately engaging that after just A brush up one listen to provocative tracks like “Lolita,” you will inevitably be seduced. However, due to the recent criticism of the artist’s infamous Saturday Night Live performance and the subsequent dissection of the “Lana Del Rey” per- sona, you may be hesitant to download her tracks. With just one look at on Bresson the artist it is easy to see that her image may not be as authentic as one would hope. Try abandoning those high expectations of genuine “indie” U of T professors spoke at the TIFF Bell music and just enjoy Lana Del Rey’s album for what it is: heavily-produced yet extremely enjoyable happy-to-be-sad ballads. Personal favourite off the Lightbox for The Poetry of Precision: record: bonus track “Without You.” —Monica Carinci The Films of Robert Bresson

The TIFF Bell Lightbox’s latest ret- style that devotes itself to repetition rospective Poetry of Precision: The and narration,” to the filmmaker’s Films of Robert Bresson goes to show affinity to translate complex feel- that the roots of true auteurism in ings and sensibilities on screen. cinema are firmly set in France, with “Freedom, flexivity, rigour all the irreplaceable talents of Robert exist in literature,” Testa explains, Bresson. Notoriously guarded about “and Bresson brought these [feel- his personal life (historians are ings] to the screen.” Escaped is un- not sure of Bresson’s actual date of deniably bleak and lacks an emo- birth), Bresson quietly passed away tional charge one might associate in 1999 at the suspected age of 99. with the life of a prisoner. Instead, Nearly 33 years after his last film, we we adopt the dauntless, straight- celebrate this artist-cum-director faced desire for freedom that drives Wanderlust les thanks to an array of colour- for his profound ability to represent Fontaine, the film’s protagonist. We by The Internet Dir. David Wain ful, likeable characters in bizarre his spiritual doctrine in a way that come to be as brave as Fontaine but The Internet’s Purple Naked Ladies Producer Judd Apatow has fi- situations, even if they are pre- translates remarkably well to film. soon find ourselves sharing also in boasts an impressive pedigree. Syd nally hit the jackpot. The prem- dictable. But the humour wears Fontaine’s sober panic which Bres- the Kid and Matt Martians (both hail- ise behind Wanderlust, the lat- off quicker than a hippie on hash. Bart Testa on A Man Escaped or: son achieved in his advanced use ing from the indie hip hop consor- est product doled out by the frat Every joke is a constant reminder The Wind Bloweth Where it Listeth of sound. Whenever Fontaine hears tium ) venture into more pack’s (pipe) dream factory, is a of its source, the fish-out-of-water In a special introductory screening the jingle of keys, fast-paced foot- soulful territory with their debut. At convenient vehicle for everything couple and the zany flower chil- to Bresson’s 1956 transcendent pris- steps, or other ominous noises, Bres- the group’s best, like on “She DGAF” Apatowian: recreational drug use, dren, rendering most of the gags oner-of-war piece A Man Escaped or: son enacts a Pavlovian-like response (as in “don’t give a fuck,” FYI), the free love, a bold display of human repetitive. The movie tries so The Wind Bloweth Where it Listeth, of alarm from both the protagonist rhythms and synths blend with Syd’s sexual organs, and people acting hard to be funny that even awk- University of Toronto professor Bart and viewers alike. Fontaine stands R&B vocal stylings. However, those plain stupid. ward becomes awkward. I’m talk- Testa addressed a packed theatre to out as the only prisoner actively moments are few and far between. After job-related setbacks, a ing to you, Paul Rudd, and your explain why we should honour both trying to pursue freedom, while On “They Say/Shangrila” and “Cunt,” yuppie New York couple (Paul “voices.” the film and Bresson’s pioneering others such as a Protestant priest the taut rhythms and solid vocal per- Rudd and Jennifer Aniston) settle Despite the personal philoso- sensibilities. Although Bresson’s (Rolan Monod) passively wish for formances are weighed down by un- into the chilled and cheap life- phy of Alan Alda’s commune- Escaped is based on the memoirs God’s divine grace to deliver them necessary electro flourishes. It’s as if style offered by the Elysium hip- founder Carvin, who remarks, of French resistance soldier Andre from captivity. Testa describes this The Internet is throwing shit at an pie commune. The residents there “Money buys you literally noth- Devigny, Bresson himself also spent as the greatest struggle in Escaped: already ample wall of sound and see- prefer the term “intentional com- ing,” the price of your movie time in a German POW camp during the active title, Escaped, and Fon- ing what sticks. The end result sounds munity” because, you know, hip- ticket will earn you a solid date WWII, which may be why Testa de- taine’s perseverance juxtaposed like a shallow attempt at progressing pies are so politically correct. night but also a solid reason to scribes Escaped as the definitive ex- Erykah Badu’s sound. Wanderlust is great fun and reevaluate comedy’s direction. ample of Bresson’s films. He likens CONTINUED ON P15 —JP Kaczur provides some guaranteed chuck- —Daniel Horowitz the meticulous pace, of a “precise var.st/SCIENCE 2 APRIL ONLINE EXCLUSIVE 2012 Cold-Blooded [email protected] Roommate is the Science last in our Science Illustrated series! Check it out: A statue fit for a queen http://var.st/dinoroomie TANYA DEBI unravels a U of T discovery of artifacts from ancient Egypt

niversity of Toronto profes- successor, Thutmose III, did his best participation to this god. However, if Usor Mary-Ann Pouls Wegner to wipe out the female ruler from his- one built too close to the route, he of the Near and Middle Eastern tory after her death, possibly because could face the death penalty. Civilizations department and her she kept him from power for more The team also recovered a reposi- team conducted a dig in Abydos, than 20 years. Her 22-year reign plac- tory of 80 animal mummies. The Egypt last summer that unearthed es her as the longest ruling woman of remains were mostly of dogs but majestic treasures consisting of Egypt in her time. included cats, sheep, and goats. It is an offering chapel, a monumental The wooden statue is a mag- suggested that these animals were building with animal remains, and nificent and rare find both because part of a sacrifice — the number of a statue believed to be of the “fe- of the attempted eradication of dogs discovered at the site implies male king” Hatshepsut. Hatshepsut’s image during Thut- that they were probably sacrificed Hatshepsut was an Egyptian ruler mose III’s reign and the rarity of to the jackal god Wepwawet, leader in the 18th dynasty (about 3,500 years existing royal wooden statues. of the Osiris festival and the one ago) that assumed the otherwise Osiris, god of the afterlife, was held who guided the deceased to the male title of “pharaoh.” She co-ruled in high esteem and worshipped by underworld. The team believes that with her stepson Thutmose III be- the ancient Egyptians in Abydos. In- these sacrificed animals belong to cause he was too young to take the terestingly, the offering chapel dis- an undiscovered tomb and that throne at the time that his father, covered by the team was built near the remains were displaced during Thutmose II, died. In art and other the processional route of the festival tomb robberies. artifacts, Hatshepsut is portrayed as a of Osiris. The wooden statue is also The discovery of these artifacts male with the traditional false beard thought to have been part of a cere- in Abydos contributes to the un- — a symbol of power — although monial procession and festival cele- derstanding of Ancient Egyptian delicate features like her small waist brating Osiris. Monuments were cre- ritual activity and sheds light on the and chin are distinguishably female. ated along the processional route to mysterious past of a once-powerful Hatshepsut’s co-regent and eventual show their life-long dedication and female leader. Taraneh zarin/THe VArsity Rawr! Organic Cool dinosaur facts tomato gardening

text by Fiona Tran on campus illustrations by William Ahn The Dig In! Campus Agriculture network gives The Cretaceous–Paleogene mass One of the earliest known birds, you the lowdown on growing tasty tomatoes extinction occurred 65 million the Archaeopteryx, appeared in years ago and took out dinosaurs, the late Jurassic period and shared pterosaurs, and marine reptiles. the skies with flying reptiles. Sarah Lin ers that contain a mixture of soil ies but also nourish our minds and What happened after the me- The smallest dinosaur egg mea- VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR and compost. Typically added to souls. Since 2008, green-thumbed teor that supposedly drove the sures 3 cm long and its species re- the soil to aid growth, compost is students with the Dig In! Campus dinosaurs to extinction? Turns out mains unknown. Delicious and easy to cultivate, central to organic gardening as it Agriculture network have been they may have survived for anoth- Heaviest dinosaur: the Brachio- the tomato is a popular choice supplies the nutrients plants need growing a variety of common gar- er 700,000 years afterward. saurus weighed 80 tonnes, equiva- when it comes to vegetable gar- to grow and supports the diverse den organic edibles across small- If the whole history of the uni- lent to 17 elephants. dening. A few key steps for or- life in the ground below, without scale plots on campus. Seed variet- verse until today were compressed Smallest dinosaur: the chicken- ganically growing tomatoes are as the need for chemical pesticides, ies such as pineapple, yellow pear, into a 365-day year, dinosaurs only sized Lesothosaurus fed on plants. follows: obtain seedlings, find a fertilizers, or herbicides. peacevine cherry, and many more lived about 5 days. Its fossil is the smallest discovered In the same universe-com- of any fully-grown dinosaur. sunny spot, dig in some compost, Tomatoes are warm-weather are being sown in the greenhouse pression model, the first mam- Biggest brain: the Troodon’s and water them regularly. Make plants and frost-sensitive — there- of the anthropology building and malian ancestors appeared on brain was comparable in size to sure you set the seedlings outside fore, the seedlings need to remain are eventually transplanted to the December 25. modern mammals and birds. It after the last spring frost because indoors until the last spring frost Hart House, Sid Smith, and Hart The oldest dinosaur fossils also had stereoscopic vision and tomatoes love heat. is over and the soil is warm (gen- House Farm Committee plots. found come from rocks in Ar- hands capable of grasping. Seedlings, which are basical- erally around May 10 in Toronto). Campus produce is consumed by gentina and Brazil and are 230 Not-so-big brain: a Stegosaurus’ ly sprouts, can be purchased or When it’s time, seedlings are trans- volunteers, is incorporated into million years old. weighed 75 g and was 3 cm long. grown from a seed. To start from planted to a sunny outdoor space. Hart House menus, is served up by a seed on your own, use a commer- Tomatoes generally start ripening the Hot Yam! food collective, and cial seedling starting tray or a bio- in late July and then throughout is donated to the U of T Food Bank. degradable egg carton. Once the August and even into September, By growing produce locally, organ- seed germinates and the seedlings depending on weather conditions. ically, and seasonally, sustainable grow a couple of sets of leaves, Growing food is a great endeav- food production is demonstrated move them into larger contain- our — plants not only feed our bod- at its best.

Growing food is a great endeavour — plants not only feed our bodies but also nourish our minds and souls. var.st/comment 16 ONLINE EXCLUSIVE JANUARY

2012 Protect Comment [email protected] your skin from the sun’s harsh rays. The trouble with Wikipedia Learn how here: http://var.st/8ov

Bernarda Gospic/THe VArsity

orge Luis Borges’ classic short Wikipedia can one day become a injecting bias into the work since I article. However, the conclusion was Jstory “The Library of Babel” is useful epistemological tool. described Fox News as a conserva- that its argumentative structure dis- about a universal library that con- Last semester, I was in a class tive network (which Fox News CEO qualified it from being a Wikipedia Facts & tains all possible permutations of that participated in a Wikipedia Roger Ailes readily admits) and that article. One commenter went as far every book that has, is, or will be pilot project designed to improve Sun Media’s Sun News Network uti- to say my piece was “a well-written, produced in the future. This means Wikipedia as a learning site and to lized a similar style. The complaints well-sourced analysis that does not Figures that it contains all potentially use- foster a new generation of content on my article’s talk page didn’t deal belong in Wikipedia.” able information, mixing books creators. The final draft of the final with the central point of the article, An encyclopedia doesn’t just that are pure gibberish with ver- essay had to be uploaded to Wikipe- which is that Fox News has made have to be a static reference book. sions in a more coherent form. The dia to be subject to the evaluation being political profitable and that It can also critically engage with moral of the story is that there is and editing of the Wikipedia com- model is being reproduced in other its subject matter. A good online 3 ,846,319 a distinction to be made between encyclopedia that is academically knowledge and information and rigourous and useful is the Stan- Number of Wikipedia that without any coherence, order, Its dream to one day bring the sum total of ford Online Encyclopedia of Philos- or pattern imposed on a universal ophy. Its authors are philosophers content pages library, all of its information be- all human knowledge under one accessible who don’t just offer you passive comes quite useless. information about Plato, Kant, and This is the problem that faces roof has forced articles about mathematical David Hume but present specific Wikipedia. Its dream to one day arguments that help to elucidate bring the sum total of all hu- formulae and scientific discoveries to be the positions of the philosophers 510,457,900 man knowledge under one ac- and concepts they are profiling. cessible roof has forced articles placed alongside articles about every Academia is about critical engage- Number of edits made about mathematical formulae ment that involves a specific thread since Wikipedia was and scientific discoveries to like possible species of Pokémon. of reasoning. Other wikis on the set up alongside articles about every pos- web dedicated to books, travel, and sible species of Pokémon and other munity (though our essay grade news sources looking to appeal to a video games surpass Wikipedia in trivia. The issues of relevance and was determined by the professor). niche audience. terms of content and coherence. meaning persist as some articles My topic was the “Foxification” One of the central problems of And why is that? It’s because they on Pokémon are more fleshed out of news, specifically, how both Wikipedia is its community. It’s not are organized around a specific 131,514 and better written than those on print and broadcast news sources as welcoming as it should be to new- context that informs and shapes scientific discoveries. Furthermore, were becoming more partisan in comers. There’s a certain aggres- the content of the site. Number of active Wikipedia still can’t be cited as an order to reap larger profits. My pa- siveness that seems to come with As long as Wikipedia continues registered users academic source due to its low level per received an excellent grade, anonymity. Reading some of the trying to be all things to all people, of reliability. Even the claim that but its Wikipedia counterpart was comments on my article’s talk page, it will continue to be a Library of Wikipedia’s science articles have promptly deleted. it was as if I had committed some Babel — a repository of informa- fewer or the same number of errors The cause for my article’s deletion gross violation against knowledge tion and trivia that may or may not as those in Encyclopedia Britannica was its somewhat argumentative just because my submission present- be useful to its readers — and as 19.65 is demonstrably false when you structure. I had imposed a pattern ed a specific line of reasoning. Not long as its founders and the com- survey how many need substan- on the work that did not sit well all of the comments were that an- munity that surrounds Wikipedia Average number tial cleanup and editing. However, with Wikipedia’s guidelines on neu- gry. I received kudos for contribut- banish any kind of critical thought, of edits per page there are still those who hope that tral point of view. I was accused of ing such a lengthy and well-written it will remain that way.

The Varsity asks...

If U of T doesn’t work out for you, what is your backup plan? matko, 2ND YEAR A LVina, 3RD YEAR jimmy, 1ST YEAR AMINATA, 4TH YEAR MECHANICAL ENGINEERING CRIMINOLOGY LIFE SCIENCES ART HISTORY compiled by Stephanie Travassos “Clown college.” “I’ll go to college or beg “I’ll work at “Starving artist.” for a job.” McDonald’s.” var.st/ARTS 26 MARCH ONLINE EXCLUSIVE

2012 We interview Arts & Culture [email protected] Gareth Evans, director of the upcoming gun-fu flick The Raid: Redemption Classical spirit Read our review at var.st/raid Canadian orchestra Esprit reflects on their 30 years performing in Toronto

BO HYUNG/THe VArsity

Emma Jones new Canadian classical composers. Esprit’s goal was to revital- a Bar” is their upcoming performance featuring saxophon- VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR ize the new music industry and fill a gap in the opportunities ist Wallace Holiday and percussionist Ryan Scott, as well as available to the composers at that time. “It was an audacious trombonist/leader Scott Good leading an acid brass group (a When I walk into the Esprit head office, there is a flurry of ac- idea,” Alexina comments, “The Arts Council gave us two mix of jazz and electronic music). The performance is aimed tivity. Alex Pauk has a stack of compositions on the chair be- years.” But now in their 30th year, Esprit has created a legacy of at a younger crowd, proving the resilience of the Canadian side him while his wife Alexina is proofreading an email that Canadian music encompassing two generations of composers. music scene. Esprit is also dedicated to the composers they will go out later this week about their group’s performance on Many composers have grown with the orchestra, having their have worked with throughout their existence. Their 30 An- March 29. The compositions beside Alex, I later find out, are first creations played by Esprit and faithfully returning time niversary season, beginning in October, will feature new all written by U of T students and were performed for Alex and and time again to present their latest compositions. Alex and and innovative programs as well as composers who are close Alexina, the co-founders of Esprit, earlier that day. One stu- Alexina are both composers themselves. One of their composi- to their heart. dent’s piece will be included in the upcoming performance — a tions (performed by Esprit) for the movie Pearls of the Far East Esprit is as original as the music they play. Dedicated to great opportunity for new talent to exhibit their work. recently won Best Film Score at the California Independent outreach, development, and supporting Canada’s current This is the heart and soul of Esprit: finding new Canadian Film Festival. composers, the 65-piece orchestra gives audience members compositions and bringing them to life. “This is music that is This is not to say that Esprit, and the classical music in- a rare chance to hear the music played in both its own time seldom heard live,” Alex explains. “The musicians and audi- dustry is not without its challenges. Budget cuts mean radio and country. ence share the excitement of being part of these rare perfor- stations do not commission orchestral music nearly as often mances.” At performances, the composers are usually present as they used to, causing Esprit to rely more and more on au- “Dream in a Bar” will be performed at Drake Hotel Tuesday in the music hall, giving audience members a rare chance to dience attendance to survive. But Alex and Alexina remain March 27 — no cover. Esprit’s 30th anniversary season will be an- speak to them about the performances. optimistic. They are consistently planning new and inno- nounced at concert, on Thursday March 29; special student rates When the orchestra started in 1983, there was little room for vative performances that will entice audiences; “Dream in are available. Stars in a white night Free Spirit by Tibi Neuspiel Anne Rucchetto Tie-break,” in collaboration with Geof- night long, and my parents didn’t really Sculptor Tibi Neuspiel reflects VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR frey Pugen, his creative career actually care or notice. After a couple weeks [of started with a short immersion into ar- doing this] I ended up in this extended on his successful art piece at Although Tibi Neuspiel has gained mass tistic counterculture. “I remember re- suburban area, and I wanted to do some- media attention and praise with his 2011 alizing, the summer I was fifteen, that thing to fill the time. Nuit Blanche Nuit Blanche performance piece, “The I could just take my bike and go out all CONTINUED on P12

MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY CL ARA HUGHES EROTIC MEMOIR ONE OF A KIND CINÉFRANCO SHINDIG! ‘50/‘60S RONCESVALLES T ORONTO SILENT Unique Lives All-genders SPRING SHOW Festival of RHYTHM AND EARTH HOUR FILM FESTIVAL & Experiences writing workshop AND SALE international BLUES PARTY CANDLELIGHT at Various venues lecture by the with Susie Bright at Direct Energy francophone at The Piston WALK until Apr 3

Olympic athlete at Come as You Centre, Exhibition cinema 10 pm at Revue Cinema, $10-$20 at Roy Thomson Are Place at TIFF Bell $5 8:15 pm passes: $65–$100 Hall 7:30–9:30 pm until Apr 1 Lightbox Free (bring candle 7:30 pm $35.00 until Apr 1 and holder) $36.00 $8–$12 passes: $99 EVENT GUIDE EVENT MAR 26–APR 1 var.st/ARTS 12 MARCH ONLINE EXCLUSIVE 2012 Piercing humour Arts & Culture [email protected] in Victoria College Drama Society’s A Ladylike Murder Read our review at http://var.st/ae8 Payback an interview with Margaret Atwood and Jennifer Baichwal p12 MICHELLE YUAN/THe VArsity $10 RESTAURATEUR UC Drama with Laura Kathleen Maize Lalibela breaks 869 Bloor Street West

I’ve got to admit — I’m pretty sick of the whole com- the vegetarian platter, if you are new to Ethiopian The Rules fort food trend. If I had it my way, poutine would have food. It’s a good way to sample all the flavours. Small stayed in Quebec (and not become gourmet, with heaps of split peas, lentils, chickpeas, collard greens, Monica Carinci The audience participation as- pulled pork or head cheese); Taco Bell would be ille- and veggies sit on a round plate of injera, a spongy VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR pect of the play seems intimidat- gal (except for maybe an occasional cheesy beefy Fri- flatbread that you use to pick up the stuff and trans- ing at first but luckily plays a min- to burrito); and Paula Deen — well, Paula Deen just port it to your mouth. The meat is equally good but The title of UC Drama’s latest produc- imal role throughout the evening. wouldn’t exist (seriously, the whole bacon, doughnut, always a little more spicy, and expensive, than the tion of The Rules by ‘90s playwright In order to use the small stage fried-egg burger thing is a crime against nature). Eat- veggie platter. It’s simple and it’s perfect. Charles Mee is misleading consider- space to their advantage, the cast ing for comfort, though? That’s something that will For lunch you can easily get away with splitting a ing the plot of this experimental the- has the audience move around never let up, and I want you to know that there are veggie platter for one ($11). But if you are really hun- atre piece seems to follow few rules quite a bit, which helps keep ev- options out there other than the artery-clogging, gry, this is exactly the kind of restaurant where you’ll or guidelines. At the Helen Gardiner eryone awake for all the laughs. food coma–inducing meals. want to splurge a little. The communal platter really Phelan Playhouse, award-winning di- One of the highlights of the pro- Lalibela serves up Ethiopian food a block away lends itself well to eating with lots of friends, as long rector Banuta Rubess presents a col- duction is the quirkiness and versatil- from Bloor and Ossington. There are several Ethio- as you (like me) don’t get jealous that they’re eating lection of isolated vignettes vaguely ity of cast member Katherine Hous- pian restaurants in the neigbourhood, and I’ve eaten too much of your food. The setting and the food all connected through the idea of class- ley. She moves from an English to an at them all; Lalibela wins, hands down, over the rest. equal the best comfort food you can get. consciousness. Though the disorient- American accent with ease and pro- It’s not the cheapest (that prize goes to Nazareth, at ing plot seems like it would cause the vides a hilarious bit on “oriental car- Dovercourt), but it’s the freshest, the friendliest, and Lalibela has an awesome website about traditional audience to lose focus, the five talent- pet making” following intermission. the best. coffee ceremonies and how injera is made. Check it out ed cast members from the University Toronto-born Jennifer Fraser later I’d suggest getting one of the platters; especially at lalibelaethiopianrestaurant.com College drama program succeed in shows off her charismatic dancing entertaining the whole way through. during the cast’s rendition of Michael Mee’s play allows much room for Jackson’s “Bad.” variation in production, and Rubess Following a disclaimer from Furgi- uses this to her advantage. At the uele is a hilarious hospital scene, which beginning of the play, we are intro- is arguably the most entertaining skit duced to the life of the upper-class of the night. The use of props is both and their world of country clubs and hilarious and ingenious, and if not random luxuriousness. These haunt- for the goofiness of the cast, the audi- ing scenes of materialism in the first ence might even be fooled to believe act are followed by Uxbridge na- the patient (Housley) is wide open on tive Ainslie Drew-Brook’s stand-up the cutting table. While the audience routine. Laced with profanity and makes it through the night with ease, commentary on racial stereotypes, unfortunately the patient isn’t as lucky. Drew-Brook’s bit is reminiscent of comedians before her; however, her The Rules plays until March 18 at the performance stands above fellow cast Helen Gardiner Phelan Playhouse. member Philip Furgiuele’s later rou- Reserve tickets at tine on masturbation. [email protected] MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY Comedy Girl Class In Conversation Static Zine #3 The Undrummer Will Ferrell’s new St. Party’s Day Douglas Coupland Recital with… George Launch w/ The w/ Sexy movie Casa De Mi at St. Lawrence Exhibition at Comedy Bar R.R. Martin on Ruby Spirit, Mathematics, Padre Market at Daniel Faria 8 pm Game of Thrones Wazu, Carnival Fighter/Lover at various theatres 11 am – nighttime Gallery

at TIFF Bell Moon at Nocturne Ongoing Lightbox at The Rivoli 9 pm 9:30 am 7 pm $5.00 Same day tickets $5.00 available one hour prior to event EVENT GUIDE EVENT MAR 12–18 UTSU Dental What’s Plan Amount: $102.76 Where your money goes: to dental in a fee? UTSU fees not covered by provincial plans (OHIP) like oral examinations and Amount: $66.24 surgery, denture cleaning, and Where your money goes: to UTSU polishing chart by MATTHEW D.H. GRAY club funding, programming, and What you could buy instead: text by SARAH TAGUIAM administrative costs. $102-worth of fuzzy peaches Source: ROSI What you could buy instead: a pair of perfectly adequate blue jeans UTSU Accident/PR ROSI System Drug Insurance Access Fee Amount: $120.64 Amount: $45 Where your money goes: Where your money goes: who knows? to keep ROSI afloat What you could buy instead: What you could buy instead: a good vibrator a massage (sans happy ending) Arts & Science Student Union Hart House Amount: $143.26 Amount: $19 Where your money goes: to arts and Where your money goes: to printing Anti-Calendars, tutoring culture programming, club subsidy, services for high school students, events, and annual awards and and recreation in Hart House bursaries What you could buy instead: What you could buy instead: a monthly subscription for World of a decent pair of leather shoes Warcraft and a three packets of ramen 10x Magnification CANCOPY Student Life & License Programming Amount: $3.38 Services Where your money goes: to allow students to photocopy copyrighted materials Amount: $237.48 Where your money goes: to all sorts What you could buy instead: a bunch of of student life and programming illegal photocopies activities all over campus What you could buy instead: almost a PlayStation 3 The Varsity Amount: $2.66 Where your money goes: to printing, slumber parties, and believe it or not, our private jet can get expensive sometimes What you could buy instead: a Tim Hortons breakfast sandwich

U of T Community Radio Amount: $7.50 Total: Where your money goes: to funding radio programming, $6,413.50 broadcasting fees, and salaries What you could buy instead: a pint of beer

UTSU Student Commons Amount: $12.30 Where your money goes: to construction of a student commons What you could buy instead: a gram of decent weed Course Fees Athletics Amount: $5,372 Amount: $281.28 Where your money goes: to 10 Where your money goes: to gym memberships, Arts and Science courses maintenance of facilities, and drop-in programs like What you could buy instead: a 2005 yoga, archery, swimming, and field Toyota Echo Sedan with 170,000 km What you could buy instead: a once-in-a-lifetime bottle of Scotch