News Interview p8 Comment p13 Varsity helps you to Features p25 pimp your bike ride Pub landlord Al Murray Time to play your speaks to Varsity about Bill? What Obama comedy, Cambridge and can learn from “the bloody Footlights” Clinton
Friday 21st October 2011 The Independent Student Newspaper since 1947 Issue No 744 | varsity.co.uk
News p6-7 Fire in the disco: An unfair election? Varsity looks at the hot topic of Evidence suggests that Lord Sainsbury may have had an unjust advantage in vote Cambridge’s changing nightlife
Reviews p27 “ T h e fi l m pursues one side of what is really a more complex The Vice-Chancellor casts his vote in Senate House. The University has argument” come under fi re from academics and students for encouraging members of the Senate to vote for their chosen India Ross candidate, Lord Sainsbury on The Greatest Movie Ever Sold
giving “advance notice” that Sains- Press, which stressed that Sainsbury to encourage employees to vote for p35 bury would be dining as his guest has been one of the university’s larg- Sainsbury, the university’s offi cial Sport earlier this month. est single benefactors in recent years. candidate. Blues get La-cross Andrew Griffi n Hum claimed that the future chan- After informing members of the A similar email was sent to the ASSOCIATE EDITOR cellor would be his “personal guest”, rules for voting, the email went on Cambridge Neuroscience email list with close defeat but that “in view of the forthcoming – which includes a number of promi- Senior members of the university elections for Chancellor, I shall try to nent academics – which told members at the hands of used their position to support Lord give him an opportunity to talk to as “Without wishing to force opinion, if Reading. See full Sainsbury’s bid to be chancellor, a many Fellows as possible.” 200,000 you have yet to make up your mind, Varsity investigation has found. He also told members of the col- Estimated number of members you may wish to consider Lord Sains- match report. The heads of a number of faculties lege that “If Fellows wish there to be bury of Turville”. and departments sent emails to their some form of discussion over dessert of Senate House eligible to vote David Ford, the Regius Professor of members implying that they should I am sure that he would fi nd this very Divinity, also wrote an email to mem- vote for Sainsbury as chancellor. valuable.” bers of the Divinity Faculty in which Sir Christopher Hum, the Master Earlier this week, Varsity revealed he wrote “I would urge you of Gonville and Caius College, sent that an email had been sent to employ- 5,558 to join me in voting for him 4 » an email to all Fellows of the college ees of the Cambridge University Number of valid votes cast this week.” TAKE THE ONLINE SEXUAL HEALTH QUESTIONNAIRE AT VARSITY.CO.UK 21st October 2011 Something to say? 2 EDITORIAL www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
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Established in 1947 Issue No 744 Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge, CB2 3RF Telephone: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 760949 VARSITV VarsiTV Sessions: Episode One with Jake Alden-Falconer VarsiTV Sessions kicks off with Cam- bridge student and singer-song-writer Jake Alden-Falconer. Jake debuts his new track ‘Heaven is no place for cars’ from Trinity Hall’s Master Lodge. s if we didn’t know it already, seen this occur with a worrying intensity revelations. Oxford University does not this weekend’s Chancellorship – witness last year’s bursary debate and presume to decide its chancellor, it allows Aelection was seen by the no confi dence vote, and the University’s its members to. Cambridge should follow University as an unwelcome irrelevance, reaction to the government’s higher its lead, and be proud to do so – if the a frustrating (but easily overcome) education policies in general. Chancellor is only a symbolic position, obstacleE in having their own nominee This paper was careful not to give then it should at least be meaningfully elected. its support to any particular candidate symbolic. There is no reason, now, for anyone in the race – they each have their This election should bring with it other LIFESTYLE else to think otherwise. Ostensibly, this advantages and disadvantages, and we reforms, too: undergraduate members, A Passage to India university is a transparent self-governed are not arrogant enough to suppose those who have the most proximity In part four of his series of travel body of scholars, committed to learning that we either should or could affect the to many issues facing the university, journal extracts, Tom Belger describes and knowledge. In reality, it is being run democratic will of the Senate. But this should be able to vote. Elections should how train travel in India adds an ele- increasingly like a business, and power is no business of the University’s either, be conducted online, to up this election’s ment of adventure to a cross-country commute. is being progressively transferred which should no longer believe that it embarrassingly low – and undemocratic away from academics and towards the can choose a candidate and automatically – turnout. Perhaps Cambridge gets executive, in the name of efficiency have them elected. the elections, and the chancellors, it and corporation. True, this is partly a This was why this election was already deserves. All we have the power to do reaction to economic reality. Yet we have problematic, even before this week’s now is to wait and see.
exhibitions of student artwork starts by recognizing that graphic via Varsity Online Letters, within the University, compared arts exist outside museums the VICE with the number of plays or concerts same way that dramatic arts are not PEDESTRIAN PROBLEMS Spruce a soup Emails & performed. He has perhaps missed limited to classical interpretations of the key distinction between these. Greek tragedies. Despite all the crit- Dear Sirs From that familiar fi rst glug as you Whilst it is common to buy a ticket to icism that theatre reviewers direct I wish to make a comment on pour it into the bowl, to the suspicious Comment see a play or a concert, commercial towards a play’s directing/lighting/ the dire state of pedestrianism in odour wafting from the microwave, galleries would not dream of doing acting, I’ve yet to see one that even Cambridge. I recognize that this city shop-bought soups can be depressing. Jessica Donnithorne shows you how to COMMENT ON ARTS COMMENT so. Indeed many offer incentives such mentions the poster. is better equipped for the walker enject life into your favourite broth. as free wine or live music in order to Claudia Stocker, Gonville and rather than the driver or cyclist, Dear Sirs, attract people to an opening night. Caius College but there is an etiquette involved in I would like to disagree with This coupled with the high cost www.camgraphik.com pedestrianism - and it is being wil- George Shapter’s piece about the the of renting a space means that any fully ignored. The good pedestrian is state of visual arts in the University. society hoping to stage an exhibition SAINSBURY’S SUCCESS cautious, aware of his surroundings Whilst he is right to mourn the loss would have to be confi dent of selling and capable of rational thought; the of the Shop Jesus Lane, I believe several pieces a show in order not to Under STV this is a handsome hobbledehoy who traipse the streets that if he is looking for visual arts at go out of business. win. With no need for any run-off of Cambridge display none of these the University, he is looking in the Even those student art exhibi- rounds. I hope all the comedy can- qualities. wrong places. His comment that ‘it tions that are staged in free venues, didate campaigners will respect the Yes, the city possesses a beautiful VARSITV was hardly ever there in the fi rst and therefore do not have to charge democratic will of the Senate skyline, but this is best appreci- place’ strikes me as bizarre. In his artists for the privilege of exhibit- George Igler, Cambridge ated from the pavement. Standing, Cindies Stories, Episode Two: Cambridge career so far, has he ing their own works, are generally via Varsity Online completely stationary, in the middle The Passion of Cindies never come across a theatre poster, poorly attended. Is it any wonder of the road, taking holiday snaps of We’ve got Jesus. We’ve got Ninjas. The a photograph in a fashion spread, or that most artists would rather opt I propose that in celebrating his your favourite college is obstructive second installment of the new series even an illustration in the paper he for a print run of 5,000 for a maga- win, Sainsbury should award each and rude. of Cindies Stories continues where the writes for? zine illustration or theatre fl yer? alumni 1000 Nectar points, anyone An anonymous and angry fi rst left off with yet more drunken Perhaps what he is saying is In order to encourage the art second? Cambridge resident embarrassment for late-night revellers. that there are not enough gallery scene in Cambridge, I suggest one Dixon Tang, Cambridge
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E Rhys Treharne & Laurie Martin ed tor@vars ty co uk A E Andrew Griffi n assoc ate@vars ty co uk D E Joe Robertson d g tal@vars ty co uk D E George Shapter des gn@vars ty co uk N E Tristan Dunn & Samantha Sharman news@vars ty co uk C N R Matt Russell & Joanna Tang deputynews@vars ty co uk C E Felix Danczak comment@vars ty co uk S E Matt Blythe sport@vars ty co uk D S E Michael Taylor sport@vars ty co uk C S C Matt Dickinson sport@vars ty co uk M E Louise Benson magaz ne@vars ty co uk F E Kirsty Gray features@vars ty co uk A E Zoe Large arts@vars ty co uk T E Sophie Lewisohn theatre@vars ty co uk R L E Madeleine Morley & Helen Cahill rev ews@vars ty co uk F T Yinsey Wang, Chloe Spiby-Loh, Lucia Corsini, Aurien Compton-Joseph, James Evans fash on@vars ty co uk V TV E Millie Riley vtv@vars ty co uk P E Joseph Snelling photos@vars ty co uk
C F W Clemmie Hain-Cole and Freya Berry features@vars ty co uk F T C Fred Maynard, Zoe Tomalin & Richard Stockwell theatre@vars ty co uk F C India Ross, Alice Bolland & Charlotte Green f lm@vars ty co uk L C Charlotte Keith l terary@vars ty co uk V A C Holly Gupta & Louise Paterson v sualarts@vars ty co uk M C Rory COMMENT BLOGS Williamson mus c@vars ty co uk C M C Hanna Grzeskiewicz class cal@vars ty co uk F C Jessica Donnithorne food@vars ty co uk
P M Alice Hancock & Natasha Pesaran product on@vars ty co uk C S E Laura Blomvall, Felicity Davies & Patrick Sykes subed tor@vars ty co uk The Polemical Medic
B A M Michael Derringer bus ness@vars ty co uk Living up to his title, Gregory Lewis argues that if you were either privately V B Dr Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Mr Chris Wright, Mr Michael Derringer, Miss Alice Hancock (Varsity Society President), Miss Charlotte Wu, Mr Rhys Treharne & Mr Laurie Martin educated or middle class, you prob- ably didn’t get into Oxbridge on merit. NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT Varsity, Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. Tel 01223 337575. Fax 01223 760949. Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. Varsity Publications also publishes BlueSci and The Mays. Comments are welcome (splenetic RECYCLING Recycled paper made ©2011 Varsity Publications Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without up 87.2% of the raw outpourings of rage are optional). material for UK newspapers in 2008 prior permission of the publisher. Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 48gsm UPM Matt Paper. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Offi ce. ISSN 1758-4442 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT RECYCLING News Editors: Tristan Dunn & Samantha Sharman 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NEWS 3 Secrets of the UL Varsity uncovers some of the interesting facts and the mystery inside the University Library
Ross Kempsell title in the collection will be whatever NEWS CORRESPONDENT has been added to Newton in the time I took to type this paragraph. The University Library is known But we can estimate that at the to many for its reading rooms and main West Road site - whose infa- its many miles of books. But for the mous (some say phallic) tower looms student who wishes to procrastinate for miles over the fens – there are in from reading for that diffi cult essay, the region of eight million volumes, you could always search Newton, the spread across approximately two hun- library catalogue, for ‘Mr. Men’. dred miles of shelves. No wonder you Surprisingly, the fi rst thing that get lost every time you go in there. it’ll bring up is an obscure ecclesiasti- One student described the UL as cal treatise from 1712. “rather terrifying”, adding: “every And then you’ll get every ‘Mr. Men’ time I enter I feel intellectually book ever printed. No fewer than 18 inadequate.” pages of Roger Hargreaves magic. However, another student saw the But brace yourself for the depress- UL in a different light, and found an ingly familiar: ‘order in West Room, interesting use for the space. not borrowable’. Describing the library as “romantic”, The Univerisity Library – or, the they said: “I had my best kiss in Cam- ‘UL’, as every Cantab knows it – is bridge in one of its Art Deco lifts.” staggeringly comprehensive in its Everyone knows that it’s a Legal collections. It’s so mind-bendingly Deposit Library: the UL doesn’t pay vast that it can’t even answer ques- for material published in the UK, tions about its own size. including books, magazines, newspa- A spokesperson for the UL said: pers, maps and sheet music. Instead, The University Library is home to approximately two hundred miles of shelves “The Library has no accurate count they spend their considerable budget what might be the most expensive or When asked what the oldest book sense, to mean mean a series of marks of its holdings, and in any case new on items bought from abroad. cheapest titles in our collections.” was, they said: “The transition from made by one person to communicate a items are received continually by our If you are wondering how that The UL is a place of mystery, then, manuscript to bound manuscript meaning to another person, our oldest Acquisitions Department; a fi gure money might have been spent, once where few certain answers can be to printed sheet to a book as we item is a set of Chinese oracle bones given now would be out of date in ten more, the UL mystifies: “We do found. Even the librarians them- recognize one today was a long devel- dating from the 13th century BC”. minutes time.” not keep records of prices paid and selves cannot be sure of what exactly opment process. And that’s almost as long ago as you That means that the most recent therefore are not able to suggest is in the collection. “Taking ‘book’ in a non-literal asked the question.
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A fi nal thought? View the interviews as a two-way-process: not only are the fi rms trying to get to know you – it is also a great chance for you to get to know the fi rm www.joinbain.com culture and the people you might work with in the future. Ask as many questions as you We would be delighted to meet you at any can and really try to fi nd out whether you would enjoy the job and working with your of our events. Please pre-register via the potential future colleagues. Cambridge University page of our website. 21st October 2011 News Editors: Tristan Dunn & Samantha Sharman 4 NEWS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
Continued from page 1 The turnout was very low, with 25% of the electorate, 5558 voters, casting Sainsbury elected Chancellor valid votes. Outside of Senate House, where voting took place, many who had the election did not turn into a battle over the last few weeks, and I think universities are important institu- voted complained that they had between the arts and humanities and there is quite a lot of support for me. tions in our society. only heard of the election by chance, science, or between political parties, But the trouble of having an election “You couldn’t do the job if you don’t through media coverage or friends. Andrew Griffi n and I look forward to championing the which hasn’t taken place for 163 years think that arts and humanities are This undoubtedly served as an advan- ASSOCIATE EDITOR University in its entirety at home and is that it’s rather diffi cult to predict, so important, or the values of scientific tage to Lord Sainsbury, whose support abroad in the years ahead.” my guess is as good as yours.” research.” was primarily among members within David Sainsbury was elected the new The role is largely ceremonial, He also said that he felt the role of Hustings took place prior to the the University. Chancellor by a landslide, in a vote and Sainsbury’s primary responsi- the chancellor to be “in some ways elections at the Union Society, and Though those aiding the Chancel- this weekend. bility will be the giving of honorary quite a ceremonial role, to represent commenced with Brian Blessed on lor were acting as private individuals, The lord, who had been the favou- degrees. the university on important occasions. 10th October.The election days were and so have not broken the rules, rite prior to the election, gained 52% This election was a historic one, as But I think the role of the Chancellor Friday 14th and Saturday 15th Octo- these allegations cast uncertainty of the vote. Under the STV system, it was the fi rst to be held since 1847. is very much to champion the Univer- ber at Senate House. over the University’s claim to have this meant that Sainsbury won in the Asked whether he was con- sity in the political world and society David Sainsbury has a long and been impartial during the election. fi rst round of voting. fident before the election, at large, and that would be something strong connection to the university, Furthermore, no other candidate Lord Sainsbury was the Univer- Lord Sainsbury said to Varsity I would very much look forward to. and has given donations on a number had these opportunities. sity’s official candidate, and when “I’ve spent a lot of time going round To do that you must share the values of occasions – including a donation to The revelations come amid other his nomination was announced it talking to people in the University of the University and believe that help found an eponymous laboratory. criticism of the result, as Cambridge was expected that he would run Defend Education criticised the fact unopposed. NEWS IN FIGURES that the “election of Lord Sainsbury Brian Blessed came second in the excluded current students from the vote, followed by Michael Mansfi eld franchise, much in the same way that and Abdul Arain. Lord Sainsbury the electorate was given no say about The Labour peer now succeeds 52.0% the presence of Lord Sainsbury in its HRH Prince Philip, Duke of Edin- legislature.” They also said that the burgh, as Chancellor. election represents a further intru- Sainsbury will hold the role for life, Abdul Arain sion of corporate interests into the unless he chooses to retire, as Prince First 5.6% University, a commitment, not to Philip did. Turnout round knowledge and learning, but to profi t On hearing of his success, Lord 2.5% – above all else.” Sainsbury said: “I am delighted and votes Brian Blessed honoured to have been elected as the 25.0% next Chancellor of Cambridge Uni- versity, and would like to thank all those who have supported me, and the Michael Mansfi eld other candidates who have made this 17.3% such a friendly election. “I am particularly pleased that
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Joanna Tang viral campaign using Facebook, Twit- NEWS CORRESPONDENT ter and Youtube. Their campaign has already generated wide media inter- Two Cambridge graduates are selling est with the story listed on the BBC their faces for 366 days in an attempt and Daily Mail. to pay off their student debts. In addition to the viral exposure, Ed Moyse, an economics gradu- they are also targeting various events, ate, and Ross Harper, who graduated for example this year’s Varsity Ski in neuroscience, are charging busi- Trip where a week’s advertising space nesses, groups and individuals to can be purchased together for £2,000. paint logos and messages on their The fi rst faces were sold to family faces every day. and friends, raising about £20, while After fi ve days, the ‘Buy My Face’ the rest of their income has been gen- campaign had made £500 and allo- erated by other companies, with some cated 31 days of advertising. willing to pay considerably more than After ten days, the Selwyn gradu- the daily rate. ates had pocketed £3,500. He said that although reactions They began at the beginning of this have ranged from odd looks to hugs month by selling their faces to a fi rm from drunk strangers, they have not named Lcd for £1. The price of face received any abuse so far. advertising rises each day in response Moyse and Harper, who have to expected media coverage. known each other since their fi rst day Moyse and Harper said that at Cambridge, are hoping to use the amongst their entrepreneurial ideas, money they make in the coming year this was one that avoided the prob- to pay off their combined student lem of initial investment. They hope debt of £50,000. to “demonstrate that, with a bit of Their faces are also available to creativity and a twinkle in your eye, buy for personal purposes, such as you can beat the current job climate. displaying birthday messages and For the next 366 days, our faces are proposals. your faces.” Their faces are currently sold out Ross Harper, left, and Ed Moyse, right, advertising with their faces outside King’s College Cambridge The pair have focused on creating a until 9th November. Student fi ned for careless cycling Vote over Veolia links
Stephanie Barrett force for eight years and never come Highway Code stresses “you MUST Matt Russell letter voices concerns that: “In choos- NEWS CORRESPONDENT across it before. Given the serious- NOT ride in a dangerous, careless NEWS CORRESPONDENT ing to employ Veolia for its waste ness of the accident and how badly or inconsiderate manner” and arti- management, the University poses In a rare instance of prosecution, a the victim was hurt, we felt it neces- cle 67 states ‘you should…be aware Cambridge academics have lent a serious ‘reputational risk’ to itself. cyclist from Clare College who left sary to prosecute in this case. of traffi c coming up behind you’ and their support to a campaign to push The University’s employment of a motorcyclist with a broken collar “The cyclist was wearing iPod head- ‘look all around before…turning or the University to boycott Veolia Veolia for waste management makes bone this spring has been found guilty phones which we think had a big part manoeuvring, to make sure it is safe Environment. dubious its claims of being committed of careless cycling. to play in the accident as he would not to do so.’ From this Friday students will be to ethical conduct.” Cambridge Magistrates’ Court have been able to hear the traffi c. If Jim Chisholm, liaison offi cer for able to vote on whether the Cam- French fi rm Veolia have attracted pressed the unusual charge after cyclists are going to wear headphones Cambridge Cycling Campaign, said bridge University Student Union controversy over their decision to hearing how Jin-Hyung Lee caused a we advise them to keep the volume at cyclists have a responsibility to ride (CUSU) should lobby the univer- help build transport links between crash on Queen’s Road whilst cycling a sensible level and take extra care on in a safe and considerate manner, sity to sever ties with Veolia, who the settlements in East Jerusalem wearing headphones. the roads.” especially as many freshers at this are employed on a waste disposal and the rest of Israel. The incident in question took place Whilst listening to music when time of year will be navigating busy contract. They have already lost over €10 on March 13th when the 19-year-old, cycling is not illegal, article 68 of The roads for the fi rst time. The campaign to vote ‘yes’ to the billion worth of contracts since 2005 travelling in the same direction as the boycott has now gathered the support amid international pressure over motorcyclist, suddenly attempted to of Palestinian Federation of Unions of their role in Israel. turn right across the road, unaware University Professors and Employ- Swansea and Tower Hamlets coun- that the motorcyclist was simultane- ees and 30 Cambridge academics and cils have already voted to boycott ously trying an overtake manouevre. teaching staff. Veolia, but the LSE and Edinburgh His thoughtless move led to a direct The Palestinian Federation out- University have failed to pass similar collision with the overtaking vehicle. lined the reasons for their support of motions through. Magistrates were told the day of the boycott stating that: “By retain- the accident was bright and clear, ing a contract with Veolia, Cambridge “Bin Veolia!” The with the road not experiencing any is also implicated in Israel’s crimes. campaign for unusually heavy traffi c. Cambridge can live up to its repu- the University The charge detailed that “with- tation as an internationally leading to boycott out warning and without looking the institution by refusing ties with the fi rm gains cyclist then turned right into the Veolia, leading the way against Israeli momentum. path of the motorcyclist, colliding and organizations that trample Palestin- causing them to lose control and be ian human rights.” unseated from his machine. The wit- Meanwhile the letter from the Voting in the referendum will be ness suffered a broken collar bone Cambridge academics has amassed open from noon Friday 21st October which was broken in two places.” 30 signatures of support from staff of until 6pm on Monday 24th October The undergraduate was fi ned £200, various faculties including English, and will take place online. ordered to pay £300 costs and £15 Philosophy, and Asian and Middle The proposition is: “Should CUSU victim surcharge. Eastern Studies among others. call upon the University to cancel its An undergraduate history student Among the academics who have contract with Veolia, an environmen- commented in response to this that signed the letter is Dr. Priyamvada tal services company?” ‘‘it’s so easy to forget that bikes are a Gopal, a fellow at Churchill College, Further information on both the real vehicle, and that we can be just who was also a vociferous supporter ‘yes’ and ‘no’ campaigns including a as culpable as someone driving a car.’ of the students’ occupation of the Old ‘neutral information’ fact sheet by The prosecuting offi cer PC Stuart Schools last year. CUSU, who have to remain impartial Appleton acknowledged: “This is a Echoing the letter from the Pal- on the referendum, can be found on rare charge. I have been in the police estinian Federation, the Cambridge their website. 21st October 2011 News Editors: Tristan Dunn & Samantha Sharman 6 NEwS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
our years ago, CUSU nights a week and they all seemed to Twice as Nice, who have previously Engineering student, told Varsity: Just as we still insist on calling Cin- Ents were responsible for cater largely for very similar tastes. hosted Mariah Carey’s birthday party, “It’s not a question of either Lola Lo dies ‘Cindies’ rather than Ballare, we Cambridge’s student club “Since then there have been more Spank Parties also hope to bring high or Cindies – we can go to both. I’ve continue to go there despite knowing nights. But today, more and nights popping up trying to find their profile acts to Cambridge. been going out a lot more this year it’s not all that great.” more promotional compa- own niche and of course the intro- “We want to keep the nightlife because there’s more on offer.” President of Trinity College Cob- Fnies are vying for our attention – are duction of a new venue, all of which fresh,” Simpson said. Greater diversity might take some blers said: “It’s all about ‘booze, babes our nights out becoming better as a has meant an increase in competition A wider range of choice for students time to radically change our nightlife and banter’ and Cambridge has that result? between venues and promoters. is not necessarily a bad thing for com- habits, however. in spades, which is why we all love it.” CUSU’s influence is now only nota- “The result has been great for the peting club nights. Claire Nellany, a third year Histo- Simon Burdus, Managing Direc- ble in the LGBT scene, with weekly student community who now have a Kate Ashley, a second year Chemical rian, said: “We’re a bit set in our ways. tor of Big Fish Ents, rejected claims events held on Mondays at the Cow lot more variety.” and Wednesdays at Kambar. Plastique is now likely to become Big Fish Ents, the main reason yet more popular thanks to Revs’ behind CUSU’s demise, quickly came refurbishment over the summer, to play a key role in defining the which has resulted in a new club room nature of our nightlife. and increased capacity. It has become a well-known and The arrival of Lola Lo in May also well-loved brand, responsible for provided a welcome breath of fresh three of Cambridge’s most popular air. Its student night, Let’s Kill Disco, student nights. has helped make Thursday nights the Sunday nights at Fez, Tuesdays at most competitive in Cambridge. Mark Whitmore, General Manager “Simpson said he of Lola Lo, told Varsity: “Lola Lo came to Cambridge to fill a demand that we 12,018 wants to offer students saw for a premium entertainment venue offering real cocktails and a Undergraduates at an alternative to the good night out, without pretension. familiar “rammed and “There is room for many types of entertainment venues in the city, but Cambridge sweaty” club nights we feel we are just able to offer some- by offering a more thing more.” upmarket, urban style And the story’s not over yet. Var- sity has spoken to Gareth Simpson of event. Spank Parties, a London-based pro- motional company, about his plans Cindies, and Thursdays at Life, all for a new regular student night in 7 organised by Big Fish, have become a Cambridge. staple in the average student’s night- This would add yet another pri- Clubs life diet. Together they have made vate company running club night’s in a combination of chart-toppers and Cambridge. cheese the hallmark of a Cambridge Simpson said he wants to offer stu- night out. dents an alternative to the familiar The growth of an independent enter- “rammed and sweaty” club nights by tainment company, however, attracted offering a more upmarket, urban style rival promotors and in recent years event. In doing so, he wants to make Big Fish have been facing an increas- going out more of a special occasion. £3 ing amount of competition. Spank Parties have already When Shut Up And Dance, CUSU’s enjoyed success in Cambridge thanks Average ticket price Thursday night at Revs, came to an to Switch, which runs every Friday end in 2010 it was replaced with the night at Cindies, and its student ver- more successful Plastique. sion, Pressure Cooker, held on the Plastique’s organisers, UpFront third Monday of every month, also at Parties, now run three student nights Cindies. in Cambridge. Pressure Cooker often offers stu- Jonathon Martin, co-founder dents themed nights – last Monday VK of UpFront Parties, told Varsity: was a UV Party, and before that their “When we first started Plastique at events have included a Sports Party Most popular drink Revolution in June 2010, there were and a Summer of Love Party. probably no more than four student Working closely with MC Ibz and News Editors: Tristan Dunn & Samantha Sharman 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NEWS 7
News Investigation: the Cambridge club scene is undergoing a long-awaited and much needed overhaul, reports Siobhan Coskeran. But is quantity at the expense of quality? And do we want any new clubs anyway? Varsity looks at the changing nature of Cambridge night life
that his club nights would suffer from completely change students’ mindset. the competition. “From my perspec- But a wider variety of events is begin- Cam Bars tive it’s not really that much more ning to redefi ne the nature of our competition. nights out, and there is more to come. Ballare (Cindies) hidden rooms Fez “Revs has always been open on a The stereotype of sweaty nights Thursday night and has never been dancing to Journey might not be with Main student nights Main student nights Main student nights any concern of mine as Cambridge us for much longer. Tuesday, Wednesday None Sunday, Monday students seem to favour Cindies, Life and Fez and now Lola Lo.” Fun Fact In a word In a word It might take a while, then, to
JOSEPH SNELLING David Mitchell claimed he “Found” “Dingy” was thrown out of Cindies on the BBC’s ‘Would I Lie Vodka Revolution Vodka to You?’ (REVS) Revolution Kambar Main student night (REVS) Thursday Main student nights Main student Any night In a word night Fun Fact “Expensive” Thursday Housed in a 17th century, Fun Fact grade 1 listed building The Place (Life) Revs has that has been used as 3 0 d i e r e n t a butcher’s, a tea shop, Main student nights Sunday, Thursday fl a v o u r s private housing and a of vodka restaurant. In a word including “Sweaty” peach and chili
JOSEPH SNELLING
I came, I saw, I Vodka’d: Legions of Rome-ing party-goers queue up get Bacchanalian to Lady Gaga’s classic ‘Bad Romans’ 21st October 2011 News Editors: Tristan Dunn & Samantha Sharman 8 NEWS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
Humans descended Everyone’s favourite Pub Landlord from animal with sixth sense Al Murray, one of Britain’s greatest comedians and the self-styled “Guvnor”, Peter Storey speaks with Charlotte Okten about comedy, Cambridge, and Ricky Gervais NEWS CORRESPONDENT
ANDREW GRIFFIN Humans are descended from an l Murray is a man of many ancient fish-like creature which guises. At 43, he has long possessed a genuine sixth sense, a been on the comedy circuit recent study in evolutionary biology portraying characters as suggests. Agrotesque as a life-sized baby and as The publication of the research, offensive as a gay Nazi offi cer. lead by Melinda Modrell of the Uni- Murray fi rst caught attention for his versity of Cambridge’s Department interesting taste of satire whilst in the of Physiology, Development, and Oxford Revue, a comedy group similar Neuroscience, is the culmination of to the Cambridge Footlights. So simi- many years of scientifi c enquiry. lar, he explains, “that people would go The aquatic predator, which roamed ‘are you in the footlights?’ No, I’m not the oceans approximately 500 million in the bloody footlights. We used to get years ago, had the ability to detect really frustrated about that.” electric fi elds in water and used this In Cambridge, Murray is touring ‘electrosense’ both to communicate in character as an old favourite: the and detect its pray. pub landlord, or the “guvnor”, a white Humans are by no means the sole working class British landlord who is surviving progeny of this ancient personal, brusque, and so sure of him- beast, and it is thought that around self that he cuts quite a confrontational 65,000 living species are descended figure. Murray explains that what from the creature. he fi nds really funny about him is his Some semi-aquatic descendents, “certainty”. such as salamanders and the Mexi- But what is funny to some can be can axolotl, retain a certain level of offensive to others. His jokes parody electroperception. a range of stereotypes that many com- However, fully land-dwelling crea- tures such as reptiles, birds, and “Comedy can do mammals of this lineage lost the ‘elec- trosense’ of their ancestors as it was everything. It’s no longer of use. escapism, it’s protest, it’s Professor Willy Bernis of Cornell University, a senior author of the mischief.” research paper, has said the discovery “caps questions in evolutionary biol- mentators have argued act to reinforce, ogy that I’ve been working on for 35 rather than satirise, his characters. years”. Murray is not concerned: “I honestly He added: “Researchers can now don’t care.” He tells us that people will build a picture of what the common always take certain things away from ancestor of these two lineages looked an act: “You can’t control this. You can like and better link the sensory worlds only try to make sure your artistic con- of living and fossil animals.” science is clear.” Sparking controversy while elic- iting laughs is part of everyday life for many comedians, and Murray highlighted the recent case of Ricky What’s happening in Cambridge? Gervais, who has faced furore for his use of the word “mong” on Twit- @richardmarcj Richard Johnson, CULC Chair ter, a word that has often been used abusively to describe the disabled. I seem to have misplaced Murray notes that Gervais has “tried my Elton John wig. Does to take back control with his use of that count as an issue that word. Good luck to him with that. requiring LGBT welfare His problem is he’s said it now.” support? While all this attention is focused on Al Murray reclines in the green-room of the Cambridge Corn Exchange before taking the stage the power comedy has to offend, aren’t we really asking ourselves what role @rhystreharne Rhys Treharne, Varsity Co-Editor should comedy play in society? Murray protest, it’s mischief, and it’s none of illness - take for example the common is we like showing off.” You’d swear that some is clear when he tells us: “Comedy these things.” But Murray insists his 2010 suicide attempt by US And so to showing off, does Al not people in Cambridge had can do everything. It’s escapism, it’s comedy is not a form of protest. He comedian Artie Lange- get nervous before performing? He never even SEEN a bicycle, says: “It is purely about humour. Murray answers in a jokey answers: “No, can’t afford to.” He com- let alone developed the QUICK-FIRE If you believe a word a comedian manner: “It’s seen as a big pares the process of going on stage as a sense to move and let one says you’ve got a problem.” problem in comedy. John ritual, much like a religious ceremony, pass. Career highlight? He does agree, however, Cleese wrote a book about mentioning that the “armour” of a “In terms of sheer raw holy shit that comedians have simi- how mad he was... a character helps: “I don’t know what larities with politicians, couple of comedi- I’d do if I had to go on stage as me...I @Zoah_HS moment, playing two nights at the Zoah Hedges-Stock, TCS Editor O2”. noting with a smile that ans committed don’t know what kind of joke I could as “performers you suicide. That’s sell sincerely.” Despite the comfort Filing. Naked. I know how have to stick to a line, three people! of his characters, Al has often ven- to make admin edgy. Oxford or tell a story. The dif- The stand- tured into more serious work, such as ference is we have no ups I know the BBC4 documentary Al Murray’s Cambridge? @JuandeFrancisco responsibility.” are a broader German Adventure, so where will he Juan Zober de Francisco, ‘Celebrity’ “Both. I’m not tribal about either”. Murray has fun cross-section be going now? He answers with pas- onstage. He deliv- of different sion: “I really love doing stand-up. Sweatpants to tux to sweat- ers clear and concise kinds of people And to me it’s an end in itself. I’ll stop pants to tux and now back Pre-stage ritual? punch lines, drawing than anyone else; doing it when it’s not interesting any- to sweatpants. In a word: “Cup of tea, bit of telly, quiet time laughs from diverse family men, shag- more, but to me it’s still fascinating.” Cambridge. on my own. I’d probably watch the audiences. 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Shell is an equal opportunity employer. 21st October 2011 News Editors: Tristan Dunn & Samantha Sharman 10 NEWS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Giddens speaks out against tuition fee rises
Helen Charman “Big Bang” strategy that will have Theology student agrees with Lord NEWS CORRESPONDENT “chaotic consequences” for education. Giddens, believing that “the increase He added: “They aren’t a sort of will undoubtedly make less well- Lord Anthony Giddens, Cambridge supermarket where education can be off students reconsider applying to alumnus and Labour Peer in the House chosen like a washing powder off the university, particularly to study non- of Lords, has spoken out against the shelf. vocational subjects”. increase in tuition fees, believing they “Fees should have been increased The Labour Peer criticised the may force some universities to close. progressively, not in a big bang fash- current government for conducting a The government will be increas- ion, trebling overnight with dramatic “real-life experiment” on universities ing the cap on tuition fees to £9,000 consequences for the young people and the NHS, with too little research per year for undergraduate courses, affected. to back up the policies. Lord Giddens beginning with all courses starting in “I would have given far more voiced his belief that the “ideologi- 2012/2013. thought to the knock-on consequences cal thrust” of the Browne report is Lord Giddens, who has fi fteen hon- of university reform on job creation “quite alien to what universities are orary degrees, warned that increasing and growth, as well as the wider cul- about”. tuition fees could lead to the closure ture of the country.” Lord Giddens “would have pre- of some departments and even entire The former director of the London served a larger chunk of state funding universities.He asked: “What will the School of Economics also suggested because universities are public insti- Lord Giddens adds his voice to criticisms of tuition fee increase Government do if universities are that the increase is going to deter tutions with a massive impact which importance of considering the broader in a stream of leading academics and forced to close down?” poorer students from applying to goes beyond the simple experience of implications of higher education political fi gures to add his voice to He went on to refer to the govern- university. learning”. reform on the country’s economy. growing criticisms over the Govern- ment’s approach to tuition fees as a Kimberley Jarvis, a first year He continued to stress the Lord Giddens is the latest person ment’s higher education policies. NUS criticises government over youth unemployment
Rivkah Brown claiming Jobseeker’s Allowance. NEWS CORRESPONDENT Burns has said that despite Government encouragement of Liam Burns, the President of the apprenticeships for young people, its National Union of Students (NUS), “scrapping of the EMA, huge cuts has hit out at the government after to education funding and the closure recent figures show that one in of advice services for young people five British 16-24 year-olds are has poured fuel on the fi re of youth unemployed. unemployment”. 991,000 young people - the largest Burns has called on the govern- number in 17 years - are without a ment to reinstate the EMA, properly job, reported the Offi ce of National fund careers services, and reinvest Statistics (ONS). in education and training in order to What’s more, 14,000 more Britons “avoid the permanent scars of youth were out of a job between June and unemployment”. August this year alone, and, in total, Burns added that “those not in edu- 1.6 million people in the country are cation or training are now left with ever fewer alternatives to the dole queue and all the wasted potential that entails”. He has suggested that “the Gov- ernment is slamming the door in the face of an entire generation”. Kate Henney, a student at Emmanuel College commented: “It is a terrifying prospect that, after work- ing so hard for my degree, I might end up without a job.” Prime Minister David Cameron has called the fi gures “disappointing” and job losses a “tragedy”. However, he has made promises that “the government is going to do everything it can to get people into work”. The government will also announce plans to launch sector-specifi c work academies aimed at increasing access to work experience. Chlamydia: Silent, Serious, Spreading. The new academies will provide a The Test: Free, Simple, Painless. combination of training, work experi- ence and a guaranteed job interview If you are under 25, for a free home test, text to up to 50,000 people over the next two years, with many of the opportu- ‘SCREEN’ to 84010 with your name, address, nities going to young people. age and M or F (male or female) or visit: Mary Beadles, another student at www.cambstakeatest.com Emmanuel College, told Varsity: “I’m not worried at the moment, because I do not need a job yet, and hopefully the situation might have changed in Liam Burns, President of NUS three years time.” News Editors: Tristan Dunn & Samantha Sharman 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NEWS 11 News in Brief Students to be 25% less Hunt under way for Cambridge ‘fl asher’ Cambridge police are hunting well-off than their parents a man who flashed students at Murray Edwards College this New university students are predicted to be 25% less well-off than their parents, a new report claims week. Police were called to the college at 10.30pm on October 14 after deposit because of university debt: decades of economic and technologi- Kate Robertson NEWS IN FIGURES receiving reports of a man expos- NEWS CORRESPONDENT ‘generation rent’ will only be able to cal advancement between the early ing himself. purchase their fi rst house aged 35. 1960s and early 1990s. Students entering university this These higher aggregate levels Starbucks to launch year will end up 25 per cent less well- PwC estimates of consumption do little though to own ‘University’ off than their parents, stark new that students will offset mounting debts and reduced £90,000 research shows. be burdened with pensions. Estimated debt of Starbucks has this week announced Accountancy firm PwC reveals an estimated Hawksworth comments: “Since university students under a new project, called ‘Starbucks striking differences in the economic £90,000 of debt academic research suggests that per- University’, to train student fortunes of the two generations, upon graduation ceived happiness may be related more increased tuition fees baristas to a level 3 qualifi cation, despite similarities in professional to relative than absolute consump- equivalent to A-levels. and familial choices. One third year said: “I think it’s a tion, there is an important sense in With university fees increasing, Younger generation members will clear sign of the fact that the Govern- which the baby busters could be said Starbucks hopes that this scheme fall victim to high tuition fees, an ment is failing our generation. to be signifi cantly less well off than 35 will offer a competitive alternative estimated £90,000 of student debt, “We’re facing increased tuition the baby boomers.” Age at which current students to higher education. smaller pensions and “less buoyant fees, greater student debt, a harder The report also considers policy are expected to be able future housing and equity markets”. job market, a diffi cult housing market reforms that could redress the gen- Michael Moore John Hawksworth, PwC chief econ- and economic crisis. We really have a erational imbalance of wealth. to buy a house omist and co-author of the report, lot working against us. Possible solutions include tax cancels appearance said: “Relative to living standards in “I think the Governement really breaks to encourage more affordable Michael Moore has announced that society at the time, the ‘baby buster’ needs to consider the full effects of its and better quality rented housing for he will not speak at the Festival of generation may end up being up to 25 policies will have on our generation, baby busters. 25% Ideas, leaving 500 ticket holders per cent worse off than their parents’ before it makes rash decisions.” Other proposed reforms would How much less well-off disappointed. generation in terms of accumulated However, it is not all bad news for improve economic prospects of bust- new students will be than With less than two weeks until total wealth at age 65.” current students. ers at the expense of boomers. he was due to speak, the Univer- A formidable challenge facing baby Higher life expectancy is cou- Such measures include increasing their parents due to higher sity said it is “disappointed”. busters is getting a foot on the hous- pled with higher absolute levels of the state pension age further for baby tuition fees, worse student Moore said he was “very, very ing ladder, according to the report. consumption. boomers, thereby facilitating lower sorry” but cancelled due to illness. Current students will struggle The wealthier society into which taxation of the future incomes of cur- debt, and smaller pensions to achieve suffi cient savings for a they are born is the product of three rent students.
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Find out more about our graduate programs at db.com/careers 21st October 2011 Comment Editor: Felix Danczak 12 COMMENT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Comment
EDWARD EUSTACE Comment Question “Together, we can”. Obama’s tagline propelled him to the presidency in 2008, but whether you believe it’s his fault or not (see article, right), it’s hard to argue that Obaman is sitting easy for re-election.
But the Republicans are scattered behind a variety of candidates and the need to cater to a rabid Tea-Party movement is dragging the party to the right.
Would you vote if you could? Or would you be disgusted by the quality of both candidates in a lackluster election. Who do you think will win?
We just pose the questions. Let us know what you think on Twitter @VarsityUK #comment Suit up for a new activism Occupy Wall Street has got it wrong. Successful activism badly needs to reform its image
relentlessly jamming its blood atmosphere (currently we have 394). By suiting up, environmentalism Tim Middleton funnel into anything that smells like His organisation masterminded the becomes the realm of reasonable, money”. largest ever globally coordinated ordinary, well-dressed people An impressive metaphor, but how rally of any kind: in 2009, 5200 who care about the future. The is one expected to deal with this simultaneous demonstrations took radicals are those who continue to varsity comment brings vampire squid? Nebulous appeals place in 181 countries across the advocate pumping carbon into the you a weekly guide to the to end capitalism get us nowhere globe. CNN described it as, “the atmosphere. best talks in cambridge whatsoever. Protests can all too most widespread day of political Personal action on climate change here are good ways to go easily become ill-defi ned, resentful action in the planet’s history.” is important but the urgency of the Saturday 22nd about political activism, and and formulaic; successful activism McKibben is tall, lanky and most situation means that it can no longer Is the future of food GM? Tthere are less good ways— must not only register the anger of comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt. be solved just from the bottom up. Time: 15:30 Occupy Wall Street has dabbled its demonstrators, but also point the Back in August he was part of a We have to work from the top down in both. Many of their motives way to realistic alternatives. two week sit-in at the White House, Location: Law Faculty are sound: dismay at inequality Last weekend, Occupy began protesting against the proposed Why: Do we need GM to support and corporate greed is entirely to spiral out of control. In Rome, Keystone XL pipeline between the “All the protestors a growing worldwide population understandable. Usually, far too 70 were injured as opportunistic, tar sands of Alberta and the Gulf of turned out in their of over 7bn people? Professor Sir many are content to grumble about balaclava-clad militants hijacked the Mexico. The sit-in ended with the David Baulcombe, Regius Profes- such topics over a pint and far too demonstration, attacking property arrest of over one thousand people, smartest suits and sor of Botany, discusses what the few are willing to be proactive. and setting cars alight. Such including McKibben. What made the skirts” solutions to the global food crisis What Occupy Wall Street has happenings mar the whole event: event interesting, though, was the could be and whether GM crops succeeded in doing is framing the media are drawn away from the strict dress code: all the protesters too and that involves politics. The are a natural progression in effi - ideas in a way that people can original issue of concern and instead turned out in their smartest suits environment is one cause, more than cient agriculture or playing God grasp, tapping into people’s latent report on the thoughtless violence. and skirts. any other, where it is paramount with nature. dissatisfaction (according to a The key to activism is non-violent Those in power are used to angry, that activism is successful if we as a Time Magazine poll, 54 percent of rag-clad individuals with slogans on species are to survive. Americans support the protests), “Successful activism the backs of cereal packets pestering On the 6th November, McKibben Wednesday 26th and provoking them to do something must not only register them about power stations. Those plans to encircle the White House Why Civil Resistance Works about it. in power are also used to dismissing with a ring of people. He will be Time: 17:00 But the Occupy movement has anger but also point to such individuals as an ongoing doing something proactive to voice now lumbered on for nearly a month. realistic alternatives” irritation, before getting on with his opposition to the tar sands plans. Location: Senior Common The protests may have gained maintaining the status quo. By He will have the precise message Room, 17 Mill Lane momentum, but they have also lost civil disobedience – successful telling people to don a shirt and tie that the pipeline must not go ahead. Why: Always had a penchant for focus. The people are leaderless, campaigns must work tirelessly to for their arrest, McKibben is forcing He will create a striking, memorable violence over passive resistence? the demands are vague, and those remain peaceful. politicians to heed his message. and non-violent demonstration. Prof. Erica Chenoweth presents arriving are bringing their own, Bill McKibben is someone who Large numbers of respectable He will get ordinary, respectable her new book, looking at confl icts ever more disparate agendas. The is fully aware of how activism people from across the political people involved. And he will be from 1900-2006, and discusses her Occupy Wall Street website is home should be approached. Described as spectrum, including many in well- campaigning on one aspect of an fi nding that campaigns of non- to an imprecise diatribe against our America’s leading environmentalist, paid positions, are dissatisfi ed with issue that fundamentally matters: violent resistance were more than economic system, describing it as, his pioneering website 350.org refers the lack of care for the environment. the state of the planet we live on. twice as effective as their violent “a great vampire squid wrapped to the parts per million of carbon Environmentalism is no longer the This is the new, world-changing kind counterparts. around the face of humanity dioxide we can safely have in our preserve of radicals and hippies. of activism we need. Comment Editor: Felix Danczak 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk COMMENT 13
Denmark’s fat Barack needs to pay his Bill tax won’t bring Obama has much to learn from his predecessor about what it takes to be a successful president home the bacon
the left cleverly inverts the issue by he Danish government has Darius Meehan suggesting that it is not Obama who introduced a tax on the failed America but America herself Tnation’s favourite foods: who is the disappointment, for she butter and bacon. It is an attempt left her new president with problems to increase the life-span of the beyond his control. Danes, which is currently below Let’s get two things straight. the international average of 79. Obama has failed America The tax shows that personal e all know the story by domestically and the problems he diet has stopped becoming a now: Barack Obama was faces at home that have caused his matter of personal choice. Is Wswept into offi ce in 2008 presidency to be such a failure are this an unwelcome restriction on a tidal wave of hope for real within his control. When Clinton was of the nanny-state? Does the change both in Washington and in his fi rst term of offi ce nearly two provision of state healthcare wider America. But “change” has decades ago he encountered similar give governments the right to stalled: unemployment stays high problems to Obama of a Republican take remedial measures when while growth is puny, the age-old controlled legislature and an Obama looked to his Democratic entering offi ce, Clinton recognised their populations are set on wrangling in Washington goes on, economy still fragile from recession. predecessor, who crafted a the need to balance the budget becoming obese? When people and America’s foreign policy remains Yet Clinton overcame these substantial vision for America based whilst promoting growth, and so cut remain undaunted in the face dominated by unresolved confl icts problems and was re-elected in 1996, on the progressive philosophy of the both excess federal spending and of modern horrors like Super- abroad. Needless to say, Americans receiving a larger share of the vote Third Way; a vision which informed taxes on lower income families. The Size Me (2004), does it fall to in 2011 are angry with the man once than fi rst time round, showing voters and guided everything the Clinton result was an economic boom praised the government to protect the hailed as a quasi-messianic saviour. presidency did. near universally by economists. population from itself? The question rarely asked in this “The difference between Similarly, more assertive Obama possessed no such economic In practise the tax will mean sad tale is why President Obama Barack and Bill? leadership is required from Obama nous and dealt with America’s an increase in the price of a has not brought the substantive when dealing with Congress to get national debt woefully late (24 hours pack of butter by 25p. As fatty change he promised. Left-wing Essentially, leadership” legislation through. His current before default, in fact). Had Obama products are integral to Danish liberals tend to blame the economy strategy of grandiose diktat before followed Clinton’s principal that “it’s cooking, this really adds up. The and the Republicans in Congress. felt none of the disappointment and near capitulation (like with the the economy, stupid” his poll ratings Danish Agriculture and Food Obama’s agenda, they argue, has anger that they now have towards negotiations on raising the debt limit on the economy might be higher. Council reports that the average been so mercilessly assaulted by the Obama as he enters his election year. when he stormed out saying “Reagan Obama can still address some of family will pay an additional £116 latter that it is nearly impossible to So what’s the difference between wouldn’t have to do this”) clearly the leadership issues that Clinton so per year, if they do not make pass any legislation that could really Barack and Bill? Essentially, isn’t working. Again Clinton, who, easily mastered - the need for a clear changes to their weekly shop. change America. leadership. The left are wrong to despite having a red Congress for vision, a more proactive presidential This should work as a deterrent Obama, goes the argument, has say the Republicans have maligned half his fi rst term, pushed through style and perhaps also a more that will also relieve the health also been unfortunate enough to Obama’s agenda because he had no reforms from gun control to welfare, personable tone - but time is running service. inherit a ‘bad economy’ as opposed agenda in the fi rst place; noble but represents the proactive unstinting out. Otherwise, Obama may fi nd that As obesity and poor health cost to a ‘good’ one so, sadly, but vague ideals and little else. This model Obama must follow. Carter and Clinton aren’t the only the UK economy an estimated understandably, there’s no money worrying lack of clear direction But Obama has the most to learn ex-presidents at the 2013 Democrat £21.5bn a year, the tax could be left to spend on “change”. In short, would have been avoidable had from Clinton on the economy. On Conference. worth imitating. In fact, David Cameron is so enthusiastic about imposing a new tax that he has reversed his government’s previous stand on the idea. However, in Denmark, the need Give them patients, not cash of interference is questionable. Obesity rates are only at 9.5%, which is well under the EU GPs should have more impact in choosing patient care, but keep them away from the cash average of 15.5%. Also, the real victims of this tax will be people commissioning processes but worries whether the training they’re that again may have shares in on lower incomes who typically Laura Mayne that, currently, GPs don’t have the receiving is putting them in a strong certain health care providers. What eat the most food that is high in managerial expertise of PCTs. enough position to go on to carry out levels of accountability will GPs be saturated fat. Extreme effort has been made by such managerial bureaucracy. An subjected to? Talk of independent In effect, the tax is punishing Cambridgeshire’s PCT to train the overwhelming majority of them at overseeing NHS Commissioning those who are undereducated in oncoming groups of GP consortia, the debate stated that they wanted Boards and Health and Wellbeing the harmful effects of saturated but the same cannot be said for the to be doctors, not managers. They groups seem incredibly vague. fats, and many will just pop over rest of the country. Medical Student, GPs should be more involved to Germany to make their money hat does the NHS’s £20bn Charlie Bell, who has begun hospital “What if GPs want to in commissioning health care, go further. To combat this, the “effi ciency savings” drive ward work, observed: “In Cambridge concentrate on being but is such a costly and drastic revenue could be devoted to Wmean for Cambridge? A we seem to be well placed by re-structuring what the NHS needs subsidising healthy foods but as recent Fabian Society talk focused size and expertise to adapt to the doctors, not managers?” right now? Let us remember that yet, there are no plans for this. on GP-led clinical commissioning and reforms, but they could be incredibly satisfaction levels are at an all time Obesity should be tackled, what it will really mean when our dangerous nationwide in places less also raised pressing concerns over high. Cameron had promised: “I’ll and the Danes deserve long GPs hold the purse strings to £80bn well adept.” what effect GP-led commissioning cut the defi cit, not the NHS”, yet life as much as anyone, but the of our health budget. An experienced Cambridge GP will have on their relationships with we are losing thousands of doctors, way forward is education, not Currently, Primary Care Trusts argued that the chance of a post patients. Will there be the same level nurses, and other vital NHS staff. punishment. France’s bans of commission 80% of the £100bn code lottery for NHS services is of trust given the ever increasing Hospitals and walk in centers are unhealthy foods in schools, such annual NHS budget to areas such now likely. The standards of care possibility of vested interests? reducing services while schemes as the recent attack on ketchup, as maternity, mental health and and the treatments delivered will This possibility of vested interests that provide education for healthy looks to the future to change A&E. This responsibility is now inevitably vary. What will happen is concerning. GPs will now have lifestyles are being cut. eating habits, which is positive being given to GP practices working when smaller consortia have to fund direct relationships with service The fi rst line of our NHS and realistic, if less lucrative. in consortia. These reforms are, unexpected increases in healthcare providers - both private and NHS. Constitution is: “The NHS belongs The provision of healthcare however, coming too thick and too requirements? They will be forced Consortia may choose to buy their to the people”, yet this government does give a government the right fast. Professor John Yates, Retired to offl oad patients with higher services from providers where their is removing the private patients to interfere. But this interference Consultant in Medical Genetics healthcare costs to larger consortia members have fi nancial stakes. cap and scrapping the maximum 13 should be the revival of education and Emeritus Professor of Medical and if they cannot carry the burden, If, like our Cambridge medical week waiting time. Our doctors will in healthy cooking. Education Genetics, stated that: “The ‘reforms’ then there will be no choice but to students, other GPs want to be free to treat the paying patient to is the solution, not simply tax of are unnecessary, will cost billions of reduce the care provided for all concentrate on being doctors, rather generate their revenue with no care those who formed their dietary pounds, and cause huge disruption.” patients to cover costs. than getting involved in the base for the true NHS user. At the heart habits long ago. Maureen Donnelly, Chair of Cambridge medical students agree business of bureaucracy, then it’s of this is the move to clinically-led Jessica Holland Cambridgeshire’s PCT, agrees GPs that GPs often do know what is likely that commissioning duties will commissioning. Does the NHS really should have more involvement in the best for their patients but question be passed onto private companies still belong to us? 21st october 2011 Comment Editor: Felix Danczak 14 CommEnt www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] The UK housing market is outdated, undersupplied and over-regulated by central government structures. A more prescriptive system might work well, as it does overseas, but is the political price really worth paying, asks Marc Vlessing
Chris roebuCk conomists agree - we need to deliver approximately 350,000 homes a year for the next ten years to create a balance between Esupply and demand in Britain. So why have successive governments failed to achieve an equilibrium supply of housing? What can be done? Let’s look abroad first – where do they do housing better? Germany, the Netherlands, Japan and Sweden all jump to mind. In reviewing their key differences with the UK scene, interesting similarities between them emerge: They all have strong layers of regional government intermediating between the long-term demands of national government and the short-term delivery hurdles of local government. National housing plans are negotiated over long periods of time between all layers of government - once the last National Housing Plan comes to the end of its political life, the new one is ready to I marvel at the often utterly chaotic depended on the performance on the development at the heart of its new be slotted in. way in which politics works in this night. slimmed down planning system. Consequently, we see prescriptive country. Yet after 25 years, I have But a generation of Thatcher’s This is administrative dynamite in planning systems which set out very come to recognize and ultimately children complain that their ‘hard- housing-speak: it allows a Planning clearly what kind of development is respect the fact that we will never earned’ housing equity is being Inspector to override a whole raft of allowed and where. This top down have joined up top-down government eroded by the needs of their children emotive considerations in favour of approach creates the kind of certainty in Britain – it’s just not what we seem to put down ever larger deposits for development. that construction, development and to want culturally. first homes. It is clear that reform is I believe this government has finance companies alike love when Our inherent suspicion of needed and is needed fast. concluded (rightly) that top down placing their capital at risk. administrators and politicians means Enter local government Secretary planning won’t ever work in Britain Countries with more benign that we prefer a system of checks Eric Pickles, a man not prone to and that they now are creating the housing cycles also manage to and balances, and with it, more waste much energy on explaining certainty which industry and finance depoliticize housing – their context often than not, we accept a certain himself, which in this case is a shame, so badly needs by doing things the for decision making is a ten-year cycle level of economic and administrative because his planning and local other way round: bottom up planning. overseen by civil servants in tandem inefficiency. To be sure, this costs government reforms may yet unlock Will it work? Time will tell, but with the private sector rather than us in wasted public finances and this country’s seized up housing the idea needs to be given a proper the five-year political cycle in the UK complaints about the length of time market. chance because so far, nothing else Britain’s planning system is a it takes to get runways built, but hey, Firstly, Localism: local people now has worked. jumble of national, regional and local at least we don’t have to wake up to get more say about what they want Housing is fiendishly complex policies which often do not mesh, endless newspaper reports about in their backyard so that the poorly and this article doesn’t even start and certainly offer little prescriptive corruption and abuses of power. directed central targets under the to touch on the complexities of land certainty. Planning decisions are Or as an Italian architect friend past government (which produced release, construction innovation meted out by local government once said to me about trying to get a thousands of unsold, un-needed, and (crucially) credit provision. But
the essay councillors, who often have little planning consent in the UK: “ …I’d one-bed flats in middle England) are there is something rather arresting technical know-how . Decisions are, happily bribe my way to get this replaced by a pragmatic evaluation happening at the heart of the by definition, subject to the kind of consent, that’s what I’d do back home, of what is actually needed on the government: without much noise a local political pressures which make it but in this country I just wouldn’t ground. coalition government which nobody very hard to square local needs with know where to start: should I bribe What’s more, government will gave much of a chance to is doing the demands of regional government, the local Councillor, the Chair of the make budgets available to groups who some mightily brave things. We let alone national government. Planning Committee, the planning want to create local neighbourhood should wish them well with it. officer...” plans to ensure that they can pay So you might expect me to argue that what we need is a prescriptive, A German colleague told me that for experts to advise them on the Marc Vlessing is co-founder centrally directed planning system to in his view the Brits didn’t operate a viability of their plans. of Pocket (pocketliving.com) planning system at all; what we had Lastly, government wants to - affordable home ownership sort out the ills of our current system. without subsidy But you’d be wrong. As a Dutchman, was planning theatre: everything put a presumption in favour of
This week's featured blog, prevents TB. Or at least is supposed TasTers: The canapés of A view from an armchair,, to – part of the reason it was The blogging world Varsity aworries about the trials of discontinued on the NHS several picking private healthcare years ago was its waning efficiency. The Polemical Medic: Comment The first person I asked was an And it was then that two things elderly, loud and eccentric lady with If you’re either privately educated struck me – was I not being rather a needle in her hand in a little house or middle class, you probably didn’t Blogs naïve? Why on earth would a private near Canary Wharf – this being the get into oxbridge on merit. Here’s clinic give out information that could private clinic I’d arbitrarily settled why. Cambridge students are an send you packing and into the arms upon for a rabies jab. My assumption unusually well-off and privately of their direct competitor? And was that she, with £100 to gain from educated bunch (although, contrary secondly, how was I to know whether assuring me the BCG was crucial, to stereotype, they are less often or not each clinic and its staff were would do just that. I imagined I’d be white). This term, Comment brings you a selection safe, sterilized, reliable, trained or desperately trying to convince both whatever the things are we assume her and myself why I didn’t really of dedicated bloggers whose sole aim is our local surgeries, hospitals, needles need it. and nurses will be? to debate, disagree and rage against each I had further doubts when I tried Continued at to find out whether or not I actually blogs.varsity.co.uk/comment other for your reading pleasure needed the BCG, the vaccine that Whether your ambition is to be a drilling engineer Help deliver miles off the coast of Brazil, an energy trader in the heart of London or a Bioinformatics scientist in China, BP can offer you the perfect start to your career. the greatest BP offers graduate career opportunities as diverse as they are challenging. As a proud partner of the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games, BP show on earth is able to offer graduates joining us, a unique chance to start their career with a summer secondment to the London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (LOCOG). Are you up BP will give you the training you need, as well as pay and accommodation for this one off opportunity. for the challenge? Whatever you do, it will be your rst step in a career that will challenge you in every way. bp.com/ukgraduates Be part of it, a chance like this comes only once. Don’t miss out. Closing date for graduate applications 30 December 2011 To nd out more visit bp.com/ukgraduates BP is an equal opportunity employer.
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The Varsity Magazine FASHION, FEATURES, ARTS & REVIEWS
PLUS MIXTAPE P18, FASHION P20-21 AND ARTS COMMENT P31 21st October 2011 Magazine Editor: Louise Benson 18 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
LOUISE BENSON OPENING NOTES Lou se Benson Room of one’s own ast night’s annual dinner with a certain Mr. Blake at Lmy college fi rmly cemented my return to Cambridge; to be reminded of the fi gures who have passed through this little town was exactly what I needed to quash the allure of the bigger city lying only a 45 minute train journey away. It is as much the wealth of great minds – living and dead – who have come from here, as the present talent visible in the plays, exhibi- tions and recitals put on every week, that enable Cambridge to overlap with London as an exciting place to be. It was the man himself (ever the model of humility) who fl agged up the initial confusion at the naming of the Downing arts society in his name. Describ- ing when he fi rst heard that the ‘Blake Society’ had been formed, he mimed his double-take and uncertainty - ‘Which Blake did you say you’re naming it after?’ - com- plete with a comic mock-grimace of incredulity worthy of any of his illustrated characters. Or indeed of that foreshadower – in name and profession – the inimitable Wil- liam himself. Both are exhibited in Cambridge: book an appoint- ment at the Fitzwilliam Museum to see William Blake’s exquisitely produced prints; while, until recently, you only had to walk past Lawrence King’s Chapel to catch a glimpse Dunn is a of Quentin’s work mounted upon billboards, drawn to mark 800 third year years of the university. This over- undergraduate lap between the two caught for me student not only the timelessness of Cam- at Corpus, bridge, but the great works still to studying come: the next Blake, even. music.
You’ve had the same room for three years - do you feel attached to it Friendly Fires – Hawaiian Air Brian Eno – 1-1 now or are you bored silly? Remember that post - May Week Enoxify your soul with this I am attached to it and also bored soundtrack for escaping to more pioneering foray into ambient music. of it, it’s a combination of both. exotic climbs. Although it’d be nice to live in Nitin Sawhney – Immigrant a house with friends, I do enjoy Randy Newman – Sail Away As the title suggests, this explores the seclusion here - this is a quiet The American dream is subverted the idea of escaping from one’s staircase and if I want to disappear by Newman’s laconic wit. The song homeland. Set to a fusion of jazz, and not see people for a few days, I is spoken from the view of a slave classical and Indian elements, can easily. trader looking to recruit native Sawhney aimed to transcend ideas Africans by portraying a glittering of what constitutes identity and What’s this drum you’ve got in your vision of America. nationality. room? It’s a frame drum - sometimes The Beach Boys – We’ll Run Away Neil Young called a Daf or a Duf or a Bendir, or The California Myth created by – Unknown other names - I acquired recently. Brian Wilson is one of the most Legend I’m playing the music for a play convincing escapist fantasies in A return to the called Quake, set in Palestine in the popular music. This 1964 ballad acoustic guitar 1940s, on at the Corpus playroom The Great Escape reveals the group at their most following the ear- in November. innocent. melting Ragged Glory album. Images of desert What are you reading at the It’s not even midway through Neu – Leb’ Wohl Samuel Barber – The Desire for highways and lone Harley Davidsons moment? Michaelmas and the immediate The infl uential Hermitage in Midwestern America abound. Camus’ ‘La Peste’, sadly in excitement of a new term has Krautrock Part of Barber’s 1953 song cycle translation as my French is no subsided under the weight of masters say ‘Hermit Songs’, this poem by Seán Iron and Wine – House by the Sea good, and I also recently enjoyed deadlines and commitments. If you Sam Beam leaves behind his acoustic ‘Farewell’ to the Ó Faoláin evokes the need to fi nd Mauss’ ‘The Gift’. haven’t found the time (or money) to stark reality of solitude: “Alone I came into the roots to embrace the serpentine break out of the Cambridge bubble mid-70s Germany world, alone I shall go from it’. grooves of Afro-Pop with stunning What are your favourite things to then let this mixtape guide your as white noise effect. do in Cambridge? avenues to escape. Let’s go away for and industrial textures give way to Talking Heads – Walk It Down Cycling in the early evening when a while. beautifully sparse piano Jittery post-punk verses open into a Suede – Saturday Night the autumn shadows are all long, motifs with waves crashing gospel-infused chorus that promises Brett Anderson invites us out to and going to and putting on Compiled by James Partridge in the distance. escape. ‘freak shows and peep shows’, and we concerts. will follow. magazine editor: Louise Benson 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk magazine 19 The New Wave of Chick-Lit Female, a feminist, but most definitely not feminine: Stephanie Theobald talks to Clemmie Hain-Cole about breaking the ‘meat and two veg’ publishing mould and why you’ll never find her home on a Saturday baking cupcakes. Occupy London protests hen speaking to that sells now is a bit ‘meat and two Exactly a month since the Wall Street the author of four veg’ and I find myself wondering protests began, the Occupy move- ‘Well-behaved ment has spread to London.Now a best-selling novels where the spark has gone. camp has been set up in the shadow and former Senior women rarely make But the literary world is not of St Paul’s Cathe- editor of Harpers history’, and to me all doom and gloom, at least not dral, with more Bazaar,W the last thing that I expected according to Stephanie: “I’ve huge than 200 tents, to begin our interview with was a dis- that means pissing confidence in women working cooking facilities, cussion of Descartes’ theories of blood together and making a stand against and even a library people off and not tent named flow and his Discourse on Method. But the mundane uniform. To a certain the ‘Freedom then, Stephanie Theobald is no ordi- being scared about it extent, I’m happy that the chick lit University’. nary female writer. Having spent her figures are going down as it suggests formative years being told by nuns at clothes and who stay at home on we’ll have to remarket in some way. Films at the her convent school in deepest Corn- Saturdays making cupcakes.” “Women have a harder lot in life; Architecture Faculty wall that she “had the Devil in her” for Stephanie’s experience with we’ve always had to ask for things: Free film screenings having curly auburn hair, Stephanie publishers has been a tricky one, as please can we vote, please can we courtesy of Arcsoc was always set to ruffle a few feathers. she refuses to fit into one box. “When get a divorce, please can we go to are back this term Within seconds of Descartes’ my first book came out, it was on a university… We’ve got a little voice to ward off the bad treatise, we’re discussing her new wave of publishing and there now and it’s inevitable that marketing weather and give you a chance to catch a couple of great inspiration of the moment, a sexy, was a sense that something new was is going to jump on that bandwagon. films projected on the big screen. First fierce Alaskan woman who doesn’t happening, that change was coming. They just need to find a snappy line for up this month - Fellini’s Amarcord. take no for an answer. No, Stephanie to all of us all over the world through Biche was published by Hodder and women writers, rather than labelling is not a closeted Sarah Palin fan: her songs about patriarchy, standing Stoughton under their new label us all as ‘chick litters’. Woody Allen but not Woody Allen she is captivated by ecowhore.com’s up for yourself and not caring what ‘Flame’, which was actually their “Whilst I was living in France His latest loveletter to Europe takes blog, the tale of a young woman in people think. Having initially been chick lit imprint.” after I graduated, I was constantly the shape of Paris. Fantastically the middle of the snowy wilderness, scoffed at by her management who “Then things changed, the market irritated by the fact that the funny time travel is topped only by who cares for an elderly handicapped told her she’d never find a female exploded and publishers wanted adjective for female in French is the fact that Woody woman by day, and roams the woods band, well, of course she did! So on to make things a bit more uniform, feminine, which suggests that we’re seems to have firmly stepped away from for her next man prey by night. stage now she has these fantastic to fit into the ‘Does my bum look all covered in flowers and wear casting himself in “She basically goes off gathering figures, black, dyke, trumpet flared big in this’ mould. A friend of mine pretty dresses. Why can’t women be the lead role - and herbs and twigs in the woods, and wearing women. There aren’t enough was even asked to change part of strong and successful without being about time too, we then she goes off and f*cks some guy stomping, ranting women in the her story to her protagonist coming ‘feminine’?” say. up the arse. I find myself wondering, public eye today.” to a great epiphany during a panic Stephanie’s interviewer at Jesus is this really bad or is she just totally It’s easy to understand Stephanie’s attack rather than during sex! The told her back in the late eighties, Evening talks in control?” Are all women in control urge to see real women in the public publishers started catering to a “all novels end in either death or Late night poetry readings and talks of their own lives? Stephanie seems eye; when I ask her who she thinks specific audience, and a lot of punters marriage”. Fifteen years later, at are becoming an autumn fixture, with Jeremy Hardingham’s perfor- to think so, even if the concept of die- young women should aspire to be, are quite sheep-like, they’ll read the the reading of her first novel back in mance lectures in full swing, and a hard, braless feminists has long gone. a list of fairly formidable females paper, read a review and go out to college, that fellow ate his words. As panel discussion and reading of Rae “When I interview women, I enters the fray. “There’s that great buy it in their local supermarket. fierce, female (not feminine) writers Armantrout, professor of poetry always ask whether they’re a [Laurel Thatcher Ulrich] quotation: Unless you’re in Tesco, it’s hard to continue to flood the literary world - at the University of California, this feminist, and they always say ‘Well ‘Well-behaved women rarely make get your book out there. It’s all about flowers and pretty dresses are most Friday evening. I’m not a feminist but…’ It’s almost history’, and to me that means pissing how the marketers will sell you.” certainly nowhere to be seen - the as if everyone has become a bit afraid people off and not being scared about I wonder how that has affected landscape of the ‘chick-lit’ novel, and Shorter days of the word, and I think it’s reflected it, wearing your heart on your sleeve the literary output, whether writers its former proponents, are changing We’re already dreading the clocks in newspapers, columns and how and not caring who sees it. Julie are trying to fit into the mould that for good. going back - and that horrible novels are presented. Burchill, Tracey Emin, Courtney publishers have created. “In the Visit varsity.co.uk to read an moment when you come out from the library at 5pm and it’s already pitch “I interviewed Beyoncé recently, Love… none of these figures are art world there’s a lot more weird interview with Polly Courtney, who dark. someone who I think has done a lot those nice women who always say the and wonderful stuff around at the sacked her publisher last month after of great things for women, speaking right thing, who wear the appropriate moment, whereas your average novel being branded as chick-lit.
1. Duck-watcher’s Paradise Hours can and have been spent in this strip grass watching the surprisingly Stone Roses reforming viscious ducks of Cambridge town. Looking at how we imagine the spaces that we live Their last show in 1996 were notoriously a shambles, so we’re in, we asked students to draw a map and present a 2. G. David Booksellers hoping they’ve turned it around for photograph of their view of Cambridge, and the places the upcoming tour. they most like to spend time in. This week, antonia This little bookshop opposite Indigo Is it worth the risk Stringer presents the best way to spend an afternoon: Café contains endless second-hand of overturning the duck watching with a mouth full of banana cake. treasures. reputation they’ve LOUiSe BenSOn garnered over 3. Cake Stall the last decade, though? The best place in Cambridge to pick up a loaf of banana cake. Sore throats Definitely a bug going around Cam- 4. Clowns Cafe bridge - feels like a wasp’s got stuck The artwork is terrifying but the when you swallow. We dread to think how we’ll be feeling by Week 5. coffee, pasta and service make up for it.
5. The Haymakers Pub It’s a little out of the way (bring your bike) but a really nice place to see a gig.
6. Vintage Stall This stall appears every Tuesday and is a great place for woolly jumpers to guard against the Narnia that is Cambridge 21st October 2011 Featured Fashion editor: Chloe Spiby Loh 20 magazine www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
Models: Max Martin and Madeleine Morley
Then leaf subsides to leaf. Her early leaf’s a flower; So Eden sank to grief, MAXBut wears only coat so by an TOAST, hour. blue jumper (just seen) So dawn goes down to day. model’s own (hand-knitted), black jeans VINTAGE, boots by SWEAR. RIGHT- MAX wears blue shirt by AMERICAN APPAREL Featured Fashion editor: Chloe Spiby Loh 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk magazine 21
Photographer: Chloe Spiby Loh
MADDY wears coat by TOAST, blue shirt by AMERICAN APPAREL, black lace top by TOPSHOP, black tights by UNIQLO, maroon socks by TOPSHOP, white shoes by HOBBS. LEFT - MADDY wears woolly hat by TOPMAN, white denim jacket and blue shirt (just seen) from VINTAGE 21st October 2011 Features Editor: Kirsty Gray 22 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] F ve of C mbr d e’s best hairdressers TNeed to lookake sharp for lectures Hav ng fr nge ssues When you need some foll cular TLC, try one of these ha rdressers Mr Pol to’s St lo H r Al Couture Scru s Lu ’s & Be ut
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Achieving more together Listings editor: Helen Cahill & madeleine morley 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk magazine 23
Talk Sir Roger Moore tHe uniOn tueS 25tH 20.00 Don't Sir Roger is the longest serving Bond actor to date, and is known for having brought a debonair charm and wry humour to the character. He was knighted in 2003 miss: for his humanitarian work with UNICEF, don’t miss your chance to see him speak on Listings Tuesday.
Arts Talk Nightlife Thinking about everything Is the future of food GM? Toxic St. J OHn’S COLLege 10.00-16.00(£11.50) FaCuLty OF Law, SidgwiCk Site 15.30 (Free) tHe JunCtiOn 22.00 (£10 adV) nd The collections of Samuel Butler motivate one to Professor Sir David Baulcombe, Regius The Junction claim they “have an incredible think about everything. He challenged Professor of Botany; David Nally, Department line up in store for the evening ranging from accepted wisdom on science, classics, art, and of Geography and the chair, Jack Stilgoe, nice junglist vibes, pumping hardtek, some society. His photographs, drawings and writings University of Exeter consider solutions to next level drum and bass debauchery and are truly inspiring. the global food crisis and ask whether GM is to finish the night off an all out hardcore 22 wrong. massacre.” Get pumped. Sat
Arts Event Music Humphrey Ocean Science Xchange Miles Kane JeSuS COLLege 10.00-18.00 (Free) tHe guiLdHaLL, market SQuare 11.00 (Free) tHe JunCtiOn 19.00 (£11.50) rd Enjoy recent paintings of Humphrey Ocean in The Cambridge Science Centre brings you Last Shadow Puppets frontman and ex- Rascals the beautiful surroundings of Jesus College. a space for interacting with science and the vocalist Miles kane visits The Junction to The exhibition is part of The Festival of Ideas, arts. Highly recommended. ‘The Science showcase material from his debut album Colour and runs until Sunday 30th October Xchange will let you experience what it would of the Trap (released 09 May). 23 be like to have a public interactive science centre in Cambridge.’. This Listings Editor Sun asks: why isn’t there one already?
Talk Nightlife Music Race in Britain: is the Access all Archives: Music Musical Theatre Bar th debate over? Vue Night tHe riLey auditOrium, memOriaL COu rt, in the Museums adC 20.00 (£6/£7) aPOLar niCe rOmantiCmuSeum, wHiPPLe COmedy muSeum, HOw LOV SedgewiCkeLy. JUyGIV CLare COLLege 17.30 (Free) TGIU G UIG I UIG UI O UIPHU F GUyUI UyII HIH H muSeum, muSeum OF zOOLOgy, FitzwiLLiam Cambridge University Musical Theatre Apparently not, as the University’s Annual IH Society is pleased to once more present one TOmuSeum CELEBRATE 18.30 THE (£5) 25TH ANIVERSARy OF THE [HAN- Race Lecture addresses the issue of race, TONA special ALDJASkL;DJAkLSJDLAS late-night opening of five Museums, of its ever-popular cabaret evenings which 24 annually. Depending on how it goes, perhaps with music inspired by the exhibits themselves. promises to be “hugely enjoyable”, according Mon they won’t have one next year. to the ADC website.
Theatre Theatre Theatre Antigone Plank The Real Thing th adC 19.45 (£8/£10) COrPuS PLayrOOm 21.30 (£5/£6) COrPuS PLayrOOm 19.00 (£6/5) Directed by Richard keith, this weeks ADC From the author of Cambridge’s 24 Hour Don’t have enough money for the ADC this mainshow “promises to be a dynamic retelling Plays’ ‘Best Writer’ and ‘Best Play’ comes week? Then head to Corpus to see Tom of a true classic”. Read our review next week to Plank, a comedy “that doesn’t say much”, Stoppard’s modern classic get the Cambridge 25 see if that promise is broken starring Joshua Manasseh. treatment. TueWedThuFri
Music Theatre Talk Rifles The Orphanarium of Arab Spring th tHe JunCtiOn 19.00 (£12.50 adV) tHe uniOn 19.00 London indie four piece celebrate the release Erthing Worthing With uprisings, protests and civil wars, the Arab of their third album ‘Freedom Run’ (due for adC 23.00 (£5/6) (untiL Sat 29tH) world is undergoing major social, political and release 19 Sep) with a live Junction date. The Marlowe Soceity present ‘a silly new military changes. Discover the consequences Citing influences as far reaching as The comedy by Max Levine and Máirín O’Hagan, and uncertainties for the people from these 26 Smiths, The Clash and The Streets, their two of Cambridge’s biggest goofs’, directed nations and the wider world. Part of the sound is heavily sixties mod yet thoroughly by Tom Adams. Festival of Ideas. modern.
Event Talk Debate Varsity Drinks Freeing the ‘B’ in LGBT This House Believes th tHe mayPOLe 21.30 tHe uniVerSity Centre 17.30 (Free) Highlight of the social calander this week. Marcus Morgan, bisexual activist and Guardian There is No Alternative Come along, Felix the Comment Editor has columnist explains how the myths surrounding bisexuality keep bisexuals invisible even from to the Cuts promised to buy everyone a drink. tHe uniOn 17.30 themselves. The Union Debate this week looks promising, 27 as ever. With Alan Duncan and Vince Cable in propostion, this is surely not one to miss.
Talk Talk Debate Personality expression in Love for sale in the 17th Meeting: a debate with st everyday life century the The Miss World miLL Lane LeCture rOOmS 17.30 (Free) FitzwiLLiam muSeum 13.15 (Free) Dr Rentfrow will discuss findings from his A talk that claims to reveal the secrets of the Finalists research on how our personalities are expressed oldest profession, from Colin Wiggins of The tHe uniOn 19.30 (Free) in our daily lives, from the music we listen National Gallery. The finalists will discuss tbhe work the MWO 28 has been carrying out across the globe to to and the films we watch, to the careers we pursue and the places we live. make the world a better place.
Arts Event Art Theatre Outside Affordable Arts Fair Bloomsbury Festival George Cando: Mental Death and the Maiden batterSea Park, QueenStOwn rd, LOndOn VariOuS VenueS in LOndOn (OCt 21St-23rd) HarOLd Pinter tHeatre, LOndOn (£29.99) (OCt 20tH-23rd) Local festival returns with around 150 events States Thandie Newton will star as Paulina Salas, The fair features a variety of work from for art lovers, music fans, shopaholics, tHe Hayward, SOutHbank Centre, LOndOn a former political prisoner who takes a around 120 galleries, and covers paintings, literature buffs, young people and families. (StudentS £8) (untiL Jan 8 2012) stranger captive, convinced that he was the Touring retrospective of the American artist, the bubble sculpture, photography and prints. Art is Taking place in venues and open spaces across doctor who raped and tortured her years focusing on his ‘imaginary portraits’, absurd priced between £40-£400. Bloomsbury. www.bloomsburyfestival.org.uk before. images of invented characters.
Organising an exciting event? think everyone should be attending? need someone to go with? email [email protected], no later than monday on the week of publication. whole new online events calendar on its way... 21st October 2011 Features Editor: Kirsty Gray 24 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
’ve chosen to write about Dracula had been set up by Polidori’s allusions he child should be at the centre versions of child-centred education by Bram Stoker as, for me, it to Byron, and another Dubliner, of their own education. In the regard a child’s opportunity to Irepresents the landmark in Sheridan Lefanu had already thrown T18th century, Jean Jacques make some choices as part of their vampire fi ction and a cornerstone of Lesbian vampires into the mix in Rousseau suggested in the seminal education, to be consulted on matters horror fi ction in general. Carmilla, but Stoker worked these text Emile (1762) that the child that affect them, to have their There were vampire novels before themes, and more, up into a slow should be educated, not through con- intrinsic motivation engaged, as vital. Dracula, there have been many since, burn of a novel that arrives in a fi nal trol and coercion, but instead should The battle between child-centred and there will undoubtedly be more frenzy of blood-letting. be allowed to follow a natural process education and rationalism has to come in the future, but I doubt Along the way it uses multiple of development which recognised played out in almost all areas of the Dracula will ever be bettered. Why? narratives, a relatively novel that “nature wants children to be school curriculum, but particularly Largely because it’s a product of the technique at the time, to weave a children before they are men.” This in language and literacy. Learning time it was written, and the man who story of obsession, lust, menace and point heralded the beginnings of an to read is one of the most heated wrote it - Bram Stoker, a member of the supernatural. appreciation of childhood as a period of battle grounds. A child-centred high society in Victorian Dublin. It is one of the few books I have in the life-cycle, which had its own conception of ‘reading teaching’ Stoker is the epitome of Victorian read several times, and every time intrinsic value rather than simply would see children making some society - clearly a rather repressed I do, I enjoy it more, and it horrifi es being a process to be undergone choices over which texts they look and oppressed individual on the me more, not just as a reader, but as before adulthood might be achieved. at and being exposed to engaging surface, his fi ction betrays a rather a writer too, because nothing else How we should view the child is literature published for children. different character, implicitly that Stoker wrote, before or after one of the most important ideas in Once established, a motivation to and sometimes explicitly, full of Dracula, comes close. He worked for education. read is a fi rm foundation on which to sexualities of dubious natures. years on the book that was to become The main threat to child-centred build the teaching of other aspects. And this is at the heart of why his masterpiece, and it’s a frightening education has come from rationalism. A rationalist conception of ‘reading Dracula was, and is, so successful thought for a writer to fear that Rationalist ideas suggest that teaching’ would see children being - it strikes to the very core of the real creativity might abandon you if teaching and learning is to be drilled in letters and sounds fi rst contradiction that is the vampire - the altogether. effective then it should be subject and foremost, and being subject attraction to something potentially Marcus Sedgwick will be exploring to measurement. Pre-determined to a national phonics test at age fatal, not just to your mortal self, but gothic-inspired literature, including teaching objectives should be six, something currently being your immortal soul as well. his new novel, on Sat 22nd Oct. established; teaching should take implemented by the coalition True, the charisma of the vampire place; then learning should be government in England. measured. Clearly, if teaching is Dominic Wyse will be debating pre-determined, then this leaves why the government has failed to y focus is on the world spirits. It explains why the Greeks very little opportunity for children recommend the best approach to of ancient Greece, more spent so much time, money and effort to directly infl uence the curriculum learning to read, on Tues 25th Oct. Mspecifi cally, the religious making offerings to the gods, which What’s that they experience. Modern beliefs, practices and spaces of the were placed within increasingly ancient Greeks. The fundamental idea opulent sanctuaries that littered here has to be this: for the ancient every part of their world. Greeks, the gods were everywhere At the same time, the Greeks had and in everything. They were active no bible, no creed, no obvious defi ned the big players in the landscape, in charge set of beliefs as many religions have of everything that happened. Most today. Their religion articulated importantly, they chose sides – you itself through actions, rituals had to do everything you could to and practices. That had two idea? make sure they were on yours. important consequences. ictures of the visible fi ssures that immediately Understanding the omnipresence, Firstly, this made ancient separation barrier, attract public opinion and, often, power and partiality of the ancient Greek religion fl exible - new For two weeks Pa.k.a. wall, erected condemnation. Greek pantheon of gods is crucial gods could be welcomed into by the Israeli authorities Yet, we may be too ready to to unlocking the Greek mindset. the fold at any time. Secondly, Cambridge is on Palestinian land have attribute an overwhelming power to It explains why religious practices it meant that those repeated galvanised the attention of the wall, for as is clear from Berlin, seeped into every aspect of their routines of public action could playing host to the Western audiences. Images such structures can come down and lives, from childbirth to politics, become crucial forums in Festival of Ideas, of this concrete structure their paths quickly obliterated. war to agriculture. It explains why which to articulate community snaking through towns While not to diminish the distress the Greeks were so obsessed with within Greek society, and, welcoming experts and villages of the West of Palestinians who have suffered fi nding out what the gods had in store ultimately, the very nature of Bank have become a sort of with this rift in their landscape, for them, which could be divined what it meant to be Greek. across a range of shorthand, an effi cient way it is important to realise that the through everything from the fl ight Dr Michael Scott will be discussing fi elds. Varsity took to sum up a miserable state of wall, and any security it seems to of birds and impromptu sneezes, to the world of the ancient Greeks on affairs. Its construction brings offer Israeli civilians, is part of a the defects on entrails, the rustling of Sat 22nd Oct. this opportunity to back memories of the Berlin Wall, much more complicated system; leaves and the consultations of dead and at the same time has spawned a this includes a massive programme ask fi ve of the guest number of new walls - in Baghdad, of settlements and the segregated ’ve spent most of my career problem is divided responsibility on the US-Mexican border, and even bypass roads that assure them working at the intersection of - with or without the big picture, speakers which ‘big in the Italian city of Padova - to contiguity and mobility. As the Iethics and law, and my focus has nobody felt that they own the action; idea’ has been their separate a neighbourhood deemed settlements are often full-sized been on individual responsibility in or everyone looks at their neighbor ‘undesirable’ to residents in other towns with 40 or 50 thousand organisational settings. to step up fi rst. Psychologically, biggest infl uence. parts of the town. inhabitants, and we know that major We often think of ethics as a set vanished responsibility is human, In the Humanities and Social road alignments are one of the most of do’s and don’ts for moral solo all too human. Morally and legally, Sciences, it is often quite diffi cult permanent features of any landscape operators. Do be kind to others; though, the proposition that if enough to attribute one’s thinking to one ever, neither will be easily removed; don’t lie or cheat. There is nothing people are involved in wrongdoing big idea; we tend to focus upon instead, they have become the real wrong with these everyday maxims, all responsibility vanishes seems bringing together many conditions, determinants of the landscape. but it’s often hard to transfer the perverse. sometimes quite disparate, in order Even as the visible tip of the morality of solo operators to the In recent years, my work has to understand a given situation. But iceberg, the wall is a ‘quick fi x’; what large organisations where many focused on the most extreme in investigating divided cities as we really need to worry about are people spend their working lives: manifestations of this moral part of my work on ‘Confl ict in Cities the long term and, ultimately, more corporations, law fi rms, armies. In pathology: war crimes, torture, and and the Contested State’ (www. damaging interventions. organisations, we work in teams mass atrocities in which hundreds or confl ictincities.org), these ‘security’ Wendy Pullan introduced and not necessarily teams of people even thousands of people participate walls, which are imposed upon human the ‘Capturing urban confl icts’ who know each other or even know in wrongdoing. Grim stuff, and topographies often in the centre of exhibition of photo-essays and maps who else is on the team. Our sense of hardly an everyday problem for the cities, have played a large part in that will be running until Sun 23rd personal responsibility thins to the overwhelming majority of us. But my research horizons. In the most Oct. vanishing point and we can make many of the moral issues have the literal of ways, they stand as highly profound moral choices without even same universal roots in fragmented realising that we have reached a fork knowledge and divided responsibility. in the road. David Luban will be examining Sometimes the problem is the ethical issues surrounding the fragmented knowledge - nobody use of torture on Fri 21st Oct. had the big picture. Sometimes the Features Editor: Kirsty Gray 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAGAZINE 25
MICROWAVE P mp m b e r de MASTERCLASS The humble bicycle used to be the poor man’s car. But now that bike fads have
trickled from the circuit to the streets, Varsity made a trip to Market Square to fi nd FIVE MINUTE CHOCOLATE out exactly what it takes (and costs) to have the trendiest two wheels on the road. CAKE
Jess Holland tWIZZLE!! ALL PHOTOS KATH MORRIS The stem The frame The handlebars Forgotten to buy a present? Fear not! This recipe is perfect to show the birthday boy/girl that you care and is ready in a fl ash.
Prep time: 5 mins (ok, maybe 7...) Serves: 8 (greed dependent)
175g soft margarine or butter 150g caster sugar 2 tbsp cocoa powder 150g self-raising fl our 1 tsp baking powder 4 tbsp milk 2 eggs CLAUDIA STOCKER
On a Fixie bike, you’re unable to stop pedalling. But if that doesn’t add enough recklessness to your ride, The man behind First up - the frame. Why The current trend is for try adding ‘suicide handlebars’... settle for bog-standard handlebars that lean over, which without brakes. the wheels: racing green when you can opt you can achieve by lengthening for the endless possibilities and angling the stem. 5 minutes with Martin, the of spray paints and stickers? The sprocket CycleSmith of Market Square.
What inspires your bikes? the front wheel “I don’t work from sketches. My design inspiration could come from 1. Find any microwaveable bowl screw!! anywhere: fashion, animals, nature, that is cake-shaped, i.e. round. something I see in the street.” 2.Melt the butter on a plate in the microwave for 1 minute. What’s the most expensive bike 3. Whilst the smell is wafting you’ve ever built? deliciously through the kitchen, “It was £3700. But I’m currently put the fl our, cocoa powder and building a pretty expensive touring baking powder into the cake bowl. bike for a customer to cycle from (Use a sieve if you have one; if you East Coast to West Coast of the don’t, massage out any offensive USA.” Common in racing bikes, a lumps with the back of a spoon carbon fibre front rim is – they will make the cake lumpy built to last. But hard- Who’s the most interesting wearing comes at a price: customer you’ve ever had? otherwise) you’ll need £300 and a “Every customer has their own 4. Beat the eggs, milk and butter thicker tyre for protection. story. Last month, I sold a fi xie to in a mug with a fork until the mix You’ll find the sprocket a 60-year-old guy with bad knees is a little frothy. ATTACH!!! where the chain runs onto the because he just wanted a cool bike 5. Pour the eggy mess into the back wheel. Although it’ll to make his son angry!” cake bowl and mix everything mean a harder pedal initially - together. smaller equals speedier. What’s your top tip for the next big 6. Once you are satisfi ed with the the CRANK bike trend? sticky consistency, bang it into the “Still on top is defi nitely the Fixie the REAR wheel microwave for 6 mins, preferably as well as Dutch bikes (always with on top of a micro-rack (the wire a wicker basket). The new trend grill thing). is electric: you can convert any 7. Leave to cool, before adding the cRANK!! fin!!! ordinairy bike for £300-500.” icing. ...WITH HOMEMADE ICING The Finished Fixie Prep time: 2mins plus spreading Serves: 1 cake and 1 bowl-licker
1 tbsp soft margarine or butter Tyres aren’t just for rolling 2 tbsp cocoa powder - it’s possible to add a touch of originality. We opted for 3 heaped tbsp icing sugar a snowflake pattern in the Splash of milk spokes and a reflective rim 1 tsp vanilla extract that glows green in the dark. 1. Melt the butter in the micro- The crank attaches the chain wave for 30 secs and pedal. This one’s fast 2. Stir in the cocoa, sugar and a for track racing, and made of splash of milk until you have a anodised aluminium with long- sticky consistency lasting shamano bearings. 3. Add a dash of vanilla
Within an hour, the Fixie is 4. Grab the cake, fi nd your inner ready for the road! And it’s artist and get spreading! all yours for only £750... 21st October 2011 Reviews Editors: Helen Cahill &Madeleine Morley 26 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
GRAPHIC NOVEL The Column Habibi Craig Thompson Cambridge Museum of ★★★★★ Technology
his is probably the most optimistic thing I’ve read Tall year. Graphic novelist Craig Thompson (most well known for his autobiographical Blankets) infl icts a thousand different shades or today’s generation— of suffering on his characters and my generation in the people they encounter and yet particular—Victorian despite child slavery, prostitution, F self-mutilation, drought and all the technology is at such a remove as to be rendered unreal. We see numerous hazards of the desert, the over-arching message of this is brought to him in industrial trucks. it in faded photographs, and re- 672-page masterpiece, is of love. His guards look like steampunks. The enactments and reconstructions Dodola, “bedecked in jewelry and surrounded by pleasure-gardens” Towards the end of the novel we novel operates in two recognisable transmitted to us via the televi- dwell extensively on the meaning of time zones; overlaying this is a sion screen. And yet Victorian the title, ‘Habibi’ which translates to shows the visual connection between and obliquely commenting on reality. western conception of Arabic myth, technology provides the basis ‘my beloved’. the Arabic script and natural forms Our contemporary reality the stylised suffering of a concubine upon which modern industrial The story begins with Dodola, sold as a meandering river transforms fi gures throughout the novel in an and a eunuch, being the angels and society is built. into marriage aged nine. Her new into a line of text. It’s easy to believe exaggerated and prophetic form. kings of Dodola’s stories. The only reason that sewage husband is a scribe who teaches her that Habibi is the result of 6 years Thompson gives us oceanic deserts Thompson is also preoccupied by does not fl ow down the river to read and write before he is killed worth of frenetic scribbling. and crowded cities, barren nature and the shared heritage of Islam and Cam as it once did is because by bandits, imbuing her with a love Stylistically, the linearity of the polluted urbanism. Water is just as Christianity; biblical stories appear Victorian engineers had the of story-telling. She adopts Zam, primary narrative is continually scarce and nearly just as valuable as in their Koranic versions, and points understanding and capacity to fi rst a kind of brother but then the invaded by the swirling quality of it is in Talalay’s fi lm version of Tank of differentiation between the two build the necessary infrastruc- closest thing to a lover she has. When Dodola’s stories and the calligraphy Girl. People hunt for food in vast faiths are examined with critical ture. Of course, political will separated, they fi nd themselves in and numerology of her studies tracts of junkyard and a mentally rigour. The story of Abraham, was required too, but even then diametrically opposed worlds; Dodola – whilst spreads with insanely deranged fi sherman decorates his Ishmael, and Isaac surfaces and it took an outbreak of cholera in in the palace of a Sultan, bedecked intricate patterns and borders home with objects scavenged from a resurfaces, but Thompson ignores the 1860, as well as an embarrassing with jewelry and surrounded by are used to express moments of choked up river, all pointedly evoking question ‘Who was to be sacrifi ced?’ royal visit, for the City Council pleasure-gardens, and Zam in the particular intensity. This dream-like western documentary-rendered in favour of the answer that neither to accept that a scheme was corrugated alleys and ramshackle quality owes more to Neil Gaiman’s images of third-world poverty and was sacrifi ced – the angel Gabriel actually needed. Even then, it marketplaces of the slums. Sandman than to the politically- ecological crisis’s. brought a ram instead. Habibi asserts took thirty years for a suitable All of this is reinforced by charged graphic novels of the last Though the narrative is ostensibly that ‘There are no separations’: scheme—in the end proposed incredibly detailed illustrations and decade. Koranic stories and myths, timeless, snatches of modernity faiths, people, stories, words and by one J. T. Woods—to be huge landscape drawings which echo exchanges of riddles between begin to appear; we see a pair images all come together to create implemented. with beautifully rendered calligraphy. Solomon and Bilqis, give the story of mismatched adidas trainers, a fundamental unity. It’s a message The present museum was a In a particularly transcendental a fantastical dimension. Habibi is a abandoned toilets and spatulas, and we’ve all heard before, but not often originally a sewage pumping section of the narrative, Thompson parable, an allegory, hovering above when the Sultan runs out of water it this prettily. heather williams house, erected in 1894 and today it survives basically intact. It is probably the only building MUSIC whispers and Kelleher’s distorted POETRY unintentionally apt for the madness left with a industrial chimney Patrick Kelleher and His vocals. The Casual Perfect of Michaelmas term, “I live the world of this size or grandeur in Cam- The band’s inventive and expressive too fast, too far/secondary, several”. bridgeshire, and for that reason Cold Dead Hands use of synths in ‘I Don’t Remember’, Golden Syrup Greenlaw has written that “opera Golden Syrup featuring screeching winds blended Faber and Faber and poetry are diffi cult and obscure, alone it would be notable. ★★★★★ But for the insides: the atmo- ★★★★★ into Kelleher’s seductively jazzy and ought to be sold on the joy of sphere of the place today is of riffs and rhythmic voiceovers, bring diffi culty”, and these poems are, at a 2011 twist to an otherwise wholly times, unashamedly ‘diffi cult’ – but it quiet, proud enthusiasm. A vintage sound. Unfortunately, ‘Too leaned from a Robert Lowell would be hard to accuse Greenlaw of myriad of beautifully restored Many Harsh Words’ contains too poem for Elizabeth Bishop the excess obliquity of which contem- pump engines, boilers, ash many harsh distortions, rather like – famously meticulous as a porary poetry is so often guilty. ‘The trains, early electrical equip- G white noise on a badly tuned radio. writer – in which he calls her “unerr- Catch’, for instance, is the kind of ment and assorted other detritus It is easy to envisage Molly ing muse who makes the casual is laid across the site somewhat Ringwald singing along on-screen perfect”, the title of this collection Greenlaw is higgledy-piggledy. This technol- to the light-hearted melody of asserts the sublimity of the offhand. ogy has a kind of magic in its ‘Seen Me Blue’, making some ‘neat’ Greenlaw is interested in the over- interested in the directness—our current shiny, choreographic use of the tight maraca heard, the incomplete, the moment over-heard, occluded toys seem mean, cold in rhythms. Though the frankly cheesy at which we start to make sense of comparison. high vocals snapped me straight out things: “the needle’s hesitation/the the incomplete, the What is evident here is an of my otherwise enjoyable daydream. song caught in the breath”. “It’s not moment in which we embattled sense of community, a ‘Broken up Now’ is an instant the theme that interest me/but the belief in the benevolent ingenu- hit although the velvety vocals, variation”, she announces, with the start to make sense of ity of the engineer, the pleasure atrick Kelleher and His walking melody and slightly corny same linguistic precision that charac- things of doing for the doing’s sake. It Cold Dead Hands strangle lyrics are a tried and tested winning terises the rest of the collection. She was this impulse that drove the Pyou with the ominous and formula. ‘Strawberry Dog’, is the doesn’t need to say much – there is poem that make excerpting painful: industrial revolution—not the claustrophobic 80s sound of their antipode to this with its percussive plenty of white space on these pages I want to include the whole thing, to desire for growth, not the drive second album – think Depeche Mode dog barks puncturing the murmuring – because her impeccable formal con- make sure I’m not alone in shivering for capital, or even (that fearful yet more psychedelic and spaced-out hypnagogic vocals. ‘Still in School’ trol makes each word work hard. slightly when Greenlaw promises modern word) ‘development’. but less sullenly anti-establishment. possesses a sleepy romantic There are throat-achingly beauti- “One day I’ll learn to listen/to the city No, what has driven industrial Golden Syrup is more cohesive minimalism, a clear anomaly in the ful poems in here, unfashionably beneath the snow/the agony in the society has been a mindset of than the band’s experimentally album, with its crude indie sound restrained poems and self-consciously irony/the lover as I go”. doing, and making better—not schizophrenic debut album You Look reminiscent of The Mouldy Peaches. formal poems, and even the ones that “To move small, sleep low/and for any reason as vulgar as Cold. The band has now found their The lo-fi mastering and banal fall fl at do so elegantly. Some are dream new depths/of emptiness and the maximisation of profi t, but sound, cobbled together from the lyrics may seem to be too much of too icily erudite for their own good – order” – this encapsulates Greenlaw’s for the pleasure of the doing, husky tortured vocals of Ian Curtis a musical anachronism for some poems about Einstein and Coleridge, poetics – but then, of course, “to be regardless. This is what the and early synths of Kraftwerk. musical troopers, however, for the and Chaucerian allusions, seem troubled by neither”. This collection sunday volunteers in their blue The opening track, ‘Miracle Candle’, 80s veteran; clichés are clichés for a over-dutiful and forced. But there is is all the more brilliant for the way overalls at the old pumping belies the album’s tribute to the 80s reason. Stick with it and you might an undeniable allure in moments like, it manages to take itself seriously as house represent. And I urge you and displays the band’s talent. The fi nd out what that reason is; the “this is the time of the dark half/the poetry while retaining that promised to pay a visit. lawrence dunn cluttered melodies weave seamlessly album will grow on you. serpent days of seem”, increasingly casualness of approach. together under Ger Duffy’s punchy viola crellin appealing as October rushes by. Or, charlotte keith Reviews Editors: Madeleine Morley & Helen Cahill 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAGAZINE 27
POETRY Pushed out through his own chest/ read the repeat. But Oswald’s poem Tracks That he recognized the wings of demands a very particular pace and Memorial darkness.” diction, and for that reason I think it Alice Oswald Alternating similes see the poet of deserves respect. Faber and Faber Woods etc. in more familiar territory, In the fi nal pages the episodic ★★★★★ “When an ember of eagle a red hot interims grow slimmer and lyrical coal of hunger/ Falls out of the sky lament closes in. Oswald’s ear for Bill Wells & Aidan Moffat and bursts into wings”. pastoral is sublime as she reads olumns of Greek and Trojan Read in mind and not aloud, ‘through the Greek’ to a near-oriental - Cruel Summer names confront me like a Memorial’s antiphony is in danger of clarity, fi nding at best an unassum- Cslab of the Menin Gate. As achieving monotony. The masonry ing defamiliarisation of the natural: If the main a non-Classicist there are some I of the entirely unpunctuated text “Like crickets leaning on their objective of recognise, most are lost to eye-skip; defi es quick reading, asks its reader elbows in the hedges/ Tiny dried up a cover song I think that’s the point. These are to slow down to a ceremonial pace men speaking pure light”. is for a band the dead whose falls crowd the next through parataxis and an absence of Memorial is a daring way to to offer an sixty pages. The narratives of the syntactic space. Long exhaling lines undercut the affected tone associated individual Illiad, insofar as that means the have the un-fussed clarity associated with Epic. War-memorial is equally interpreta- great dramas which usually shape with other contemporary renderings susceptible to over-sincerity, but tion of their adaption, are gone. Instead, brief of the Greek; then a tightening of the the poem is more ritual than it is source material, then Bill Wells but relentless biographies of death chest into image and economic ken- sombre. Homer’s poem spoke the fact and Aidan Moffat (ex-Arab Strap) in a poetry of fate and preying birds: ning. Similes are printed twice, and of death, a fi erce light shown here in have categorically succeeded. “It was not until the beak of death/ again the temptation at fi rst is not to fl ashes. rowan evans Ever the charming miserablist, Moffat has seized upon the down- beat lyrics of Bananarama’s “Cruel MUSIC An album of mysteriously atmo- Similarly, ‘Into the Trees’ sets is followed perfectly by the intimate Summer” to offer something spheric songs, seemingly haunted by Rachel Goswell’s echoic sigh against lullaby of ‘The White Season,’ the worlds away from the 80s pop of Still Corners otherworldly presences, Creatures intermittent propulsions of sinister movement between the two creating the original, forcing it into a new Creatures of an Hour of an Hour is an especially fi tting sounding drums to generate an an experience of complete immersion, and frankly maudlin form. How- ★★★★★ title for London-based Still Corners’ intriguing tension. As with this excluding the chaos from before. ever, the success of the song is debut. The bulk of the record is track, much of Creatures of an Hour On their fi rst record, then, Still that it is, against all the odds and cloaked in reverb, transporting the is tremendously evocative, even Corners have already proved them- possibilities of humour, a touching, listener to a realm that is equal parts selves masters of craftsmanship elegant elegy. rory williamson hazy dream and surreal nightmare. Its dark nuances and atmosphere; however, there is The use of such contrasts is one something lacking: experimentation of its key strengths; the band takes would make for an and, occasionally, variation. This is L-vis 1990 - Neon Dreams elements of more traditional dream- excellent soundtrack what prevents Creatures of an Hour pop in the vein of the Cocteau Twins from being a complete triumph: Still L-vis 1990’s and introduces subtle and unsettling for film noir Corners have crafted an intrigu- album ‘Neon touches to distort the fantasy they cinematic; its dark nuances would ing and effective sound, but have Dreams’ have created. ‘Endless Summer,’ make for an excellent soundtrack for yet to explore their talents to their unlearns for example, introduces a guitar riff fi lm noir. full potential. For now, though, this the lessons reminiscent of ‘Pornography’-era The The album is exquisitely record is more than promising: it of 10 years Cure as a counterpoint to the angelic sequenced, just one of many hints delivers a shimmering beauty that of London wisp of vocal and hypnotically repeti- that this debut is the result of much never strays too far from hints of dis- pirate radio tive drumbeat, pulling its gorgeous labour and intense thought. The order and even terror. culture. Garage, Dubstep, Grime, drift in a far darker direction. cacophonic climax of ‘Into the Woods’ rory williamson Funk, they all took a predeces- sor or two then funked their FILM documentary’s silver bullet. In posi- we look like a bunch of blithering clear forerunner in the debate, is ship up till it’s unrecognisable. tioning himself fi rmly in the stance idiots?”, the fi lm is clearly intended interestingly never disparaged nor ‘ND’ is hyper-recognisable. It’s POM Wonderful of impartial observer, he allows the to be fodder for a wider debate. With even referenced. Perhaps Spurlock House. Sexy, boring House. I just Presents: advertising moguls and CEOs he interviewees from Quentin Tarantino felt this was an adversary too great, can’t see the calculated cheese of interviews to be their own undoing. to Donald Trump, the label of ‘sell- or that it might serve to undermine ‘Forever You’s male vox ever com- The Greatest With an Average Joe-ism sourced out’ is explored, with even the band his argument. As one of the few truly peting with Monsta Boy’s ‘Sorry’. Movie Ever straight from the school of Louis OK Go plugging their almost-but- acclaimed programmes to be littered I can’t see anyone brocking-out to Sold Theroux, Spurlock heaps irony upon not-really ironic soundtrack single for with commercial interest, Mad Men the slightly funky ‘I Feel It’. The ★★★★★ irony, as his learned clients squirm in the fi lm, entitled The Greatest Song I circumvents any danger of slander by best track ‘Cruisin’ gives House an the face of his proposals. Ever Heard. Sell-out indeed. making the product part of the art. injection of life with Grime synths, The catch is, that in refusing to Product placement is a force which The show genuinely wouldn’t work but probably to the detriment of ccording to Don Draper, sign up for Spurlock’s movie based on has crept into our lives with intimi- without brand referencing, indeed the latter. Avoid: Buy Sully’s ‘Car- “Kids today, they have no grounds of integrity, fi rms are sug- dating stealth. Spurlock presents it brings authenticity to the era, and rier’ instead. dominic morris Aone to look up to, ‘cause gesting that the product placement a dizzying array of even the most any fi nancial interest is purely inci- they’re looking up to us”. This week, they themselves engage in every day respected fi lms and television shows, dental, or so the writers would have Madison Avenue has taken a blow is in some way reprehensible. They through which corporations have you believe. Rube - Killer Diller from the unlikeliest of crusaders, are backed into a lose-lose moral pre- auctioned shares in the consumer Despite being at the cutting-edge Morgan Spurlock, in POM Wonder- dicament. In fact the real winners are subconscious. He describes the of anti-consumerism, and perhaps a This upbeat ful Presents: The Greatest Movie those who did accept – POM Wonder- infi ltration of dialogue with slogans little piece of history, the fi lm relent- Electo- Ever Sold. In this audacious if wildly ful pomegranate juice gets so much and sponsored name-dropping as lessly pursues one side of what is Swing tacky follow-up to the David and airtime I nearly picked up a bottle on the ‘most egregious’ of all artistic really a far more complex argument. number is Goliath triumph of Supersize Me, the way home. transgressions, citing 90210 as a To assume that sponsorship cor- a true toe- Spurlock’s pitch is simple: to make a Aside from drawing some comedy prime offender (not that it had a lot relates necessarily with declining tapping feet movie fi nanced entirely by product gold from witless fi nanciers – “What of artistic integrity to start with). quality is naïve; brands and art have shuffl er. The placement. if by the time your fi lm comes out, AMC’s Mad Men, despite being a long been intertwined, and can in slang “Killer With a discerning time of release some cases be the making of one Diller” was originally swing slang which will resonate in the Occupy another. Nevertheless, Spurlock’s for a great riff, specifi cally a horn Wall Street zeitgeist, Spurlock’s agenda is radical and necessary, and riff, and here it certainly applies. latest documentary is both a pitiless despite the deliberate bad taste with 20’s fl y jazz groove is fused with satirisation of the ad industry, and a which it is put together, the fi lm is moombah shuffl es and samples remarkably well-conceived allegory not to be underestimated. Shots of inspired by the Swedish rapper on the erosion of art by commerce. the advertisement-free vistas of Movits to create a unique swing As he shamelessly drags his camera- São Paolo are mesmerising; a living hop sound. Rube, slang for an man from one corporate giant to the utopia in which corporate oppression unsophisticated US countryman, next in the hope of sponsorship, one is vanquished by meritocracy and is, perhaps unsurprisingly, a dance gets the impression that Spurlock creative freedom. teacher from Currie Minnesota. is punching well above his political “Morgan Spurlock thinks all This track would make even those weight. Americans are idiots”, asserts one with two left feet take to the fl oor. We have come a long way from the CEO, “He thinks that all the people So “clap yo hands, slap yo thigh” premise that fast food is bad for you; sponsoring this fi lm are idiots.” His and get your Jazz hands a-shaking. Spurlock has stumbled into a cultural fi rm agreed to a product placement viola crellin and economic minefi eld, and yet deal shortly afterwards. india ross his (possibly) faux-ignorance is the “POM Wonderful pomegranate juice gets so much airtime” 21st October 2011 Theatre Editor: Sophie Lewisohn 28 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]
HARRY CARR THEATRE fuelled squalor. Dana (Brid Arnstein) 10 Questions for... is considering sleeping with her boss, The Acid Test Ruth (Hannah Phillips) is whining Corpus Playroom about the possible end of her on-off relationship with a green-haired hipster, and Jess (Sophie Crawford) Stephen ★★★★★ has just brought her dad (Quentin Beroud) into the fl at for the night Unwin after his ejection from her mum’s f you’ve ever spent a night house. As the night wears on, they staying sober while all those listen to dubstep, drink a lot of Iaround you are getting merrily alcohol and get high. hammered, you might know how I And to be honest, I just couldn’t felt watching this play. Everyone’s see past my natural left-wing having a good time, the energy’s prejudices: I saw them as a bunch high, the laughter won’t stop – and of bourgeois post-adolescents yet, you aren’t, you know, quite with wallowing in self pity, intoxicants it. Since watching a group of people and comfy DFS sofas. I was very tephen Unwin matriculated get increasingly drunk is what most glad that by the end of the play, at Downing College in 1979 of The Acid Test is about, in one sense Beroud’s terminally uncool father Sto read English. He began director Check Warner and her team had fi nally let rip and called their directing plays while a student have done very well. petty problems what they were: Sophie Crawford, Brid Arnstein, Quentin Beroud and Hannah Phillips here and has since directed over Even so…I should start by saying small dramas invented for the sake of fi fty professional productions and the show is very funny, and that most feeling signifi cant. characters see too much signifi cance fact that Beroud, while a great actor, twelve operas. He founded the people seemed to enjoy it more than And this is probably a good in everything. is just clearly the same age as the English Touring Theatre in 1993 I did. I just couldn’t quite love the comment on today’s youth, in some I just couldn’t bring myself to like girls he’s meant to be older than by and is currently Artistic Director play. It was premiered earlier this way, but it made me think: is that these people. Not even Crawford’s 30 years. While he does do a lovely at the Rose Theatre, Kingston. year at the ever adventurous Royal all we have to write about today? wonderfully grumpy Jess, who pathetic drunken dance, and has Court, and it defi nitely feels very Small dramas? Obsessing over still seemed the realest of the lot, could excellent comic timing, he just can’t What’s the nicest thing anyone’s contemporary. So contemporary escape appearing petulant and mean. convince as a real dad, probably ever said to you? it was written by someone a year My suggestion? Bring The acting, while all good, was also, through no fault of his own. Phillips “I love you” - or maybe, “it’s younger than me. well, fairly easy to do well. and Arnstein are also both funny, but a baby boy!” Now that will I try to speak up in favour of booze and match These were students playing again, too familiar to really impress. embarrass my son. student-written drama whenever the characters drink students, mimicking modern speech All that said, it is a fun night out, Worst public moment? I can, but I don’t feel this qualifi es, patterns and saying “fuck” a lot. and most importantly it is great to A few years after leaving partly because it’s had a professional for drink. It feels like Again, this is pointed out by the see a female-led comedy in a term Cambridge I was fi red from a outing and partly because I am that’s how it was father character, but even in a self when most comedies – Speed the show I was directing. I won’t tell seething with suppressed jealousy, aware way, the swearing is not Plow, Lonesome West, Art – drip you any more than that! and perhaps a little too much meant to be enjoyed. endearing. I say this as a massive fan with testosterone. familiarity. 19 year old Anya Reiss of the swearing on The Thick of It, I would like to give this four Magic power of choice? is doubtless a very good playwright, being a virgin or whether you sleep because it has rhythms and cadence stars, but unfortunately, something The ability to print money... but she writes about what she with too many people? One of the and creative force. In this play, about the play itself left me cold. My my own personal quantitative knows, and that seems to me to be a nicest touches in the script was a swearing was just punctuation, like suggestion? Bring booze and match easing. All for spending on the problem. demonstration of how easy it is to in real life. And for whatever reason, the characters drink for drink. It arts you understand! This play features 3 early-20s impress people with an improvised it just didn’t work for me. feels like that’s how it was meant to female fl atmates living in a kind of profundity about chopsticks, which I was also niggled, although it be enjoyed. What’s the last thing you saw at familiar, studenty, raspberry-vodka struck home precisely because the seems a sour point, by the obvious fred maynard the theatre? Edward Bond’s Saved at the Lyric Hammersmith. THEATRE Writer Ryan O’Sullivan really weirdness of Broody featured Mat- work by Edvard Munch. Either way, succeeded when he departed from ilda Wnek and Theo Chester as a it was fun and frightening, and its Last fi lm you saw at the cinema? Broody carefully structured concept sketches couple trying to get into a restaurant fi nal revival at the end of the show Woody Allen’s latest fi lm, ADC Theatre and descended into what I will term without Wnek’s stomach. When she was a glorious example of how the Midnight in Paris. It’s very as the show’s ‘horrifi c whimsy.’ This began to think of excuses for Novel- sketch format should be exploited to funny – go and see it. ★★★★★ was demonstrated when the quirki- lie’s stomach bouncer – yes, stomach create an incestuously interweaving What are you reading at the ness of O’Sullivan’s writing was and united show. moment? married with the “dark and moody” Nikki Moss’s A sketch marketing the ‘Sounds overtones which the fl yer so eagerly of monopoly CD’, which included Edith Wharton and Victor o Upon arriving at the ADC advertised, and what a gloriously Dandelion Heart is classics like ‘falling out with a family Serge. Theatre on Thursday night, I disgusting wedding it was. A prime really something member’, was accompanied through- Favourite Cambridge haunt? Swas confronted by the black, example of this was the ‘your wife worth celebrating out by the honking geese noises Tilda Swinton and I used to put undressed cavern of the stage, is made of maggots’ sketch, whose of the woman a few rows down, so the world to rights at the Baron accompanied by some resolutely weirdness was compounded at its presumably it had her approval. But of Beef, just opposite St Johns. jaunty music, and from this fi rst denouement, when Pierre Novellie’s bouncer – well, if it’s possible for regardless of her avian opinion, I It’s probably horrid now. uncomfortable contrast, Broody disembodied voice announced that it someone on the other side of the liked it a lot. Surreal and bizarre, shone brightest when it got darkest. was time for the audience to choose stage to corpse, that’s what I did. this sketch exemplifi ed the qualities Fondest memory of The ubiquitous red fl yers assured us the ending for the sketch. Another highlight was George of Broody as a whole. In spite of the studenthood? that we would be “sitting uncomfort- Like the break in the show Potts’s recurring horrible visage (in show’s slower moments, as the house A summer leaving party on a ably”, and it was the most unsettling provided for coughing, this self- a sketch; I have nothing against his lights came back up on a stage exhib- lawn somewhere – there was the and bizarre moments which consis- consciously ‘unsettling’ audience actual face), whose ‘default face’ was iting only a smashed muffi n from an most extraordinary collection tently got big laughs. address was both uncomfortable one of absolute despair, accompanied earlier sketch, I was sad to leave, and of people there – Tilda, Simon It was a shaky start. The fi rst few and strangely compelling. Although by appropriately disturbing music. a little bit hungry. Russell Beale, Tim Supple – all sketches suffered an initial lack of it was slow to start, another sketch It was beautiful, in comedy terms at zoe tomalin of us just kids. We drank bellinis energy – and occasionally volume – which exemplifi ed the wonderful least, or perhaps as an undiscovered all night. but this was gradually resolved as the cast and script seemed to come What would be served at your into their own. As with most shows, dream dinner party and who a few sketches were longer than nec- would you invite? essary, spending too long developing There’s this wonderful place conceits which were clever but not in Naples called Bellini which brilliantly funny. More than compen- serves delicious seafood pasta. sating for occasional dips in verbal Who would I invite? Bob Dylan pace, however, we were treated to and my kids. some stellar physical comedy, exe- cuted with remarkable control and Favourite joke? confi dence, and the various sketches I’m afraid my jokes are too revolving around mime and dance, obscene for publication. particularly “The Ballet of the Black stephen spoke to sophie lewisohn Fly” were some of the highlights of George Potts, Mathilda Wnek, Theo Chester and Pierre Novellie the show. Theatre Editor: Sophie Lewisohn 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAGAZINE 29
MAYA BEANO THEATRE to the tragedies of their neighbours in an attempt to throw their bickering Behind the Scenes Lonesome West into some relief, and periodically ADC Theatre breaking up their fi st fi ghts. (These are fantastically directed by Charlie Risius – almost every scene is The ★★★★★ punctuated by Hudson and Campbell smacking each other as they roll Producer about on the fl oor among the crumbs onesome West is the story of of the crisps Valene has knocked from Simon Johnson the Connors, two brothers Coleman’s hand, and it never gets Lfrom Galway who love to hate dull.) eing a producer is not the one another. Orphaned, they share a The remainders of food the place to win public fame run-down home in which the chairs, brothers have fought over (from Band adoration. The morn- table, stove and fl oor are owned by crisps to vol-au-vents nabbed from ing after my shows open, I scroll Valene, who spends his time fi ercely funerals) become a memorable through the reviews like a hope- guarding his possessions from his feature of the set. Designed by Sarah ful child on Christmas morning, brother Coleman. Coleman infuriates Fox, the stage is the Connors’ living hoping to see a comment about ‘a his brother in a way only a sibling can Arthur Kendrick, Genevieve Gaunt, Jack Hudson and Michael Campbell room, comprising Valene’s fi ercely superbly produced show’. Every – explicitly using the items he’s told guarded but ill-cared for furniture time I am disappointed. not to touch, drinking from Valene’s provokes the Connor brothers into Coleman has used his stove, and his and possessions. The focal point is Although the director and secret supply of poteen, reading his action – but it is the seriousness being a “fecking gayboy”. the mantlepiece displaying Valene’s actors will rightly get credit for brother’s magazines and munching with which they defend their choices Valene, played by Jack Hudson, is growing collection of colorful plastic the acting, and the production his crisps – for which Valene charges (and Valene his collection of plastic harassed and unreasonable, but not saints, which Coleman periodically team will occasionally get praise him 17p a packet. fi gurines) that gives the play its unjustifi ed in his miserly dealings destroys. Above these hangs the rifl e for their technical genius, the Their feuding and fi ghting is a force. with his brother. This is the success with which Coleman shot his father, producer is never featured. A cause of sorrow to the local priest, Michael Campbell is brilliant as of their sibling relationship – what and which the brothers frequently real pity, because the Cambridge Father Welsh (Arthur Kendrick), Coleman, with huge stage presence, they portray is beyond belief, but level at each other, and at the very producer is the person ultimately who, between crises of faith, makes great timing and a superb (native) somehow completely credible. top hangs a crucifi x. It is a hierarchy responsible for getting the show it his duty to reconcile them. His The fi nal cast-member is Girleen of symbols that never materialises onto the stage. moralising concern for their wayward (Genevieve Gaunt), a feisty schoolgirl in the brothers’ behaviour: they are The producer is, nominally, behaviour and lack of interest in the a deadly serious play peddling her father’s liqueur cabinet ruled fi rst by petty whims and the responsible for turning the consequences of their actions turns that manages to make in order to buy a gift for Father urge to possess, then by their violent director’s dream into reality, out to be justifi ed: it emerges from Welsh. She seems to have a soft spot compulsions, and somewhere beneath ‘whenever it is practicable’. the brothers’ quick-fi re exchanges you laugh. All evening. not only for him but for all the males it all lurk the dregs of morality. In reality, this means constant that the reason Valene owns the of the play - her opening remarks are, This is an excellent production. mediation between the director’s house is that he made Coleman sign Irish accent. His baiting of his “I bet those boys outside wanted to Though a few words were lost in the artistic whims and the desire of away his share of their inheritance brother is performed with the get inside my knickers”, accompanied heavy Irish accents, more lines were the tech crew to do something in return for keeping quiet about precision and subtlety of years of by a waggle of her very un-catholic covered by the audience’s uproarious within the laws of physics. Coleman having shot their father. experience. He knows exactly which school skirt. laughter. It is a play that, while being Beyond boundless tact and His reason for the murder: his father buttons to press, teasing Valene Girleen and Father Welsh provide deadly serious, manages to make you diplomacy, the other skill mocked his hairstyle. for his fastidiousness, his virginity, an outsider’s perspective on the laugh. All evening. required is the ability to keep on This is the level of pettiness that his relentless checking of whether Connor brothers, opening their eyes sophie lewisohn top of a million little tasks; small and oft-forgotten details like COMEDY whether Frank was an exploitative COMEDY brother was as tame comically as the pizza for the fi nal party, the Theoretically tyrant or simply insane until near Corpus Smoker character he was portraying. programme and the press the end, but Al-Kadhi gave a truly The series of sketches he delivered release all fall into the realm Corpus Playroom memorable performance nonetheless. ADC Theatre along with Oliver Marsh and Claire of the producer. The result is ★★★★★ Special mention must go to Sue ★★★★★ O’Brien were clever, though perhaps sending enough emails to break (Susanne Curry), a proud and violent a little over-thought. The fi rst of Hermes. police offi cer who brings her own these suffered from being anticipated On the day of the production, sandwiches when invited round to by a fl ood of porn jokes earlier in the the producer should in theory ax and James are protestors. tea. She made quite the entrance with went to a Corpus Smoker last night. Overall the group performance have nothing to do. In reality, Or so they’d like to think. a relished bout of police brutality; I year. I was one of a handful of lacked a sense of spontaneity. we turn into the local handy- MThey’ve covered their walls was only sad her role diminished from Ipeople there, watching too few I remember Marc Shalet making men. The hour before my last in anarchist posters (photocopied) then on. performers doing sets that were too me laugh, but I can’t remember show opened, I was to be found and they’re planning the protest of Max’s girlfriend Lizzie (Lucy long. I only went the once. But the precisely why. His series of jokes up a very tall ladder, frantically the century, but nobody’s turned Butterfi eld) was less convincing: her redeveloped Corpus Playroom – even were very funny individually but his painting (somewhat) straight up. Enter Frank, an experienced role of the ditsy girlfriend gave little if the benches are the same – has act as whole felt a little disjointed, lines onto the set, having been up protestor who can ramp up their room for scope, but I seldom got the re-established its fortnightly Monday though certainly promising. since 6am moving lead weights operation and make people actually sense there was a character under smokers with a highly entertaining Henry Staples had a similar effect. around the theatre. notice them. there. In fact, this was one problem fi rst show. He has an amusing presence and After this gloomy picture of There is, however, a small I had with the play: characters acted Ali Lewis was an excellent needs to stop repeating himself and a producer’s life, why would problem: Frank is utterly barmy. inconsistently, and it was sometimes compère and told an amusing job get round to telling a few more jokes. anyone in their right mind want This is the setup for Lowell Belfi eld’s interview anecdote in nostalgic Zoe Tomalin was bright, kooky and to do the job? The diversity of the new comedy, and while it’s not celebration of the second anniversary fun, though she sometimes relied role is its attraction: it is the only groundbreaking, it doesn’t have to This play is charming, of his arrival on the Cambridge on her likeable character instead of job in the theatre where you can be. The plot is a framework from well wri en, comedy scene punch lines, while the sooner John get really deeply involved in both which to hang ridiculous scenarios Some acts were admirable, others Bailey realises that being working- the acting and technical aspects and fantastic dialogue, pointing brilliantly acted and less so. Musical comedy is a smoker class and from the north is not funny of theatre-life. There is also a out how ridiculous Max and James’ very, very funny. favourite and Nathan Gower’s per se the better for us all. really rewarding feeling that you protesting really is. Since Lowell’s lament on the woes of a middle-class But as always with Cambridge have taken an artistic idea and previous work includes footlights and diffi cult to see precisely what upbringing was a superb example smokers, there are some stand-out turned it into a commercial and Now Now, the bar is set high, but he motivated each character moment to of why. However, he would have acts. Angus Morrison developed practical reality. delivers. moment, making the action diffi cult done better to leave his evening at his quirk of a northern background It would be nice to get just a This is a genuinely funny play; the to follow. that, since his monologue as Bear juxtaposed with his Conservative little recognition from the critics, audience’s near-constant laughter Max’s big heartfelt scene was Grylls’ less adventurous younger politics to good comic effect. The though. attested to that. Dominic Biddle’s undercut by this: I felt sorry for him headline act, too, was worthy of his Max is intense and, while not utterly to an extent, but didn’t feel there was title, as Jamie Mathieson closed the crazy, certainly going that way; his much of a character to pity. But in all show with a marvellous set. little obsessions are charming and honesty, I didn’t care. The characters Although he used some material funny. Max and Ahir Shah’s James may not always be convincing but from last year, he was brilliantly make the comedy look effortless and they are constantly absurd, with diverse, ranging from Power Rangers perfectly natural, as the play spirals wonderfully warped social graces and to Samuel Pepys to Alan Bennett into ever more absurdity. dreams that barely intersect with and maintaining laughter all the way. Frank, played by Amrou Al-Kadhi, the real world. This play is charming, His experience showed and he has is another fascinating presence, well-written, brilliantly acted and developed remarkably into one of the alternating between outright very, very funny. ones to watch out for in Cambridge tyranny and childlike tantrums jamie patton comedy. to brilliant effect. It was unclear richard stockwell 21st October 2011 arts editor: zoe Large 30 magazine www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Faber’s Newest Poet Annie Katchinska graduated from Cambridge only this year, but is already one of Britain’s brightest poetic talents. She talks to Felix Bazalgette about life outside the bubble
aber New Poets is a scheme up about it though; the money and figure. “I wrote that when I was make her question what she’s doing? funded by the Arts Coun- mentorship are waiting for her revising for my A-levels”, she tells “If you start worrying about that Fcil. Selecting four promis- whenever she needs them. She is me. “We were doing The Tempest. I kind of thing, it stops you actually ing young poets a year, it aims to in fairly regular contact by letter used to write poems about revision writing.” For a moment she seems Bouquet nurture their talent by providing with her chosen mentor, the poet instead of revising.” It emerges that to falter – “obviously you question mentorship, funding, and publish- Selima Hill, who she describes as the earliest poems were written what you do if only a few people ing a pamphlet of their work. Annie ‘amazing’, and when she ‘eventually’ when Katchinska was only seven- care about it, but I think you just I’ve seen sunflowers strain up Katchinska is one of the winners returns to England she can make teen. There are drawbacks to this have to try and ignore that feeling.” from cast iron soil this year. I came across her pam- full use of the relationship. – the pamphlet certainly has weak Soon, however, Katchinska finds at the cinerary roots phlet (published 2010) in a bookshop Right now, she’s hoping that her points as well as its strong ones. her footing, and her certainty is of St. Mary’s wall last summer and enjoyed the poems, Would she change anything now, convincing. “If you’re still doing And sweetpeas drank which are infused with all sorts of then? She measures her answer. it, and you still love it, then there’s from the wet-livid eyes intriguing narratives and charac- You can’t go “Yes, but I’m not going to tell you obviously a reason behind it.” of a red faced man ters. Katchinska graduated from what,” she laughs. “There are Though the Faber scheme doesn’t whose hands tilled Cambridge with a Classics degree back and change definitely lines in the older poems guarantee future publishing deals, tame earth. this year, and is now teaching Eng- something you wrote where I’m like ‘yeah, that could it’s a possibility that Katchinska is lish in Japan. four years ago. That have been different’’’. She doesn’t keen to pursue – she makes it clear An elder bole Of the Faber scheme’s three worry too much though. “You can’t that she would jump at offers from votive grown elements, Katchinska has so far was me at that point, really go back and change some- many different presses. I, for one, up from a shoebox only taken advantage of one – the that’s what I wanted thing that you wrote four years ago. hope to come across her name on of waning memories publishing of a pamphlet. The good That was me at that point, that’s the cover of another book - if she has tens of white fingers. thing about the scheme, she says, is to write. what I wanted to write. They are ever manages to recover from her They sip somewhere that it’s really laid back. Which is finished poems, but just not how I’d time at Cambridge, that is. at rain. lucky: though she wrote a lot before time in Japan can clear her head write now.” coming to Cambridge (enough to and get her back to writing again. I sense that Katchinska writes Watching the pinions of hours flutter fill the pamphlet and win Foyle The outlook is promising, as she for herself, rather than an audience. I met their eyes. Young Poets Prize two years in always found her ‘mind would wake She makes me feel a bit silly when They cocooned into weeks. a row), she found it hard to write up again’ during the Cambridge I ask her a half-hearted question while she was at university. ‘It’s not vacations. about ‘the state of poetry today’, something that happens to every- I ask her about one of my favou- and whether poetry is becoming james mcknight one, but I found that when I was at rite poems in the Faber pamphlet, a minority interest. “I don’t think Cambridge my mind was always entitled ‘Too Many Storms’. It’s it’s becoming a minority interest, it on other things.’ She’s not too beat about a furious, failed Prospero kind of always has been.” Does this Word on the Streets All the art and writing in FLACK magazine is the work of homeless people in Cambridge. Maria Dimitrova talks to founder Kirsten Lavers about the real value of self-expression
uden once wrote that “po- Boasting ten years of artistic made because FLACK provides a etry makes nothing hap- and teaching experience, Kirsten safety net for creative expression.” Apen,” but FLACK magazine and the FLACK team are fully Yet the scope is by no means proves otherwise. Set up as a social qualified to offer training and limited to film and creative writing. enterprise and charity, it aims support to potential contributors. FLACK recently subverted stereo- to provide homeless people with “The possibility of being published types by producing a fashion shoot professional training, opportunities pushes our contributors to learn in collaboration with John Lewis, for creative expression and - most basic skills”, she explains, “which using only FLACK ladies as mod- importantly - affirmation that their are crucial for job applications. But els. The aim was to present a new voices are important. while we encourage employment, face of homelessness to the public. FLACK’s main aim is to help the we don’t push people. Ultimately, Indeed, damaging assumptions that homeless recover their self-esteem. it’s about providing a platform for homeless people are incapable of “While homelessness is relatively expression.” good writing are also widespread. easy to resolve, the damage caused Since its start two years ago, Kirsten herself admits that she by the experience takes a lot longer FLACK has seen many of its vol- initially underestimated the quality to heal,” explains Kirsten Lavers, unteers pursue university courses, of the content she would be publish- Creative Director and Founder of gain employment again and develop ing: “I thought I would have to tart the magazine. “Somebody may go as writers and artists. One example up rubbish poems and Photoshop- through the hostel system and find is Toby Peters, who makes powerful ping casual doodles, but I soon a flat, but the traumatic impact, short films based on the poems of discovered that I was working with even after a relatively short time on other FLACK members. Only four seriously talented artists. My skills the streets, is profound.” years ago he was homeless, fighting as a teacher and creative mentor Comparisons with The Big Issue a difficult battle with alcoholism and have truly been put to the test.” are inevitable, but Kirsten wants dyslexia. Kirsten hopes that FLACK will to challenge notions that “the only Today he is the studio man- eventually expand beyond Cam- thing homeless people can do is ager for FLACK, and was recently bridge. stand on the corner of a street, sell- nominated for a Talk Talk Digital “Many people in other cities are ing a magazine.” FLACK certainly Heroes Award. “People become caught in the same cycle, and our shows the opposite – though the frustrated when they are not being approach is really working. I’d Left: Julien Raphael, published in the last issue of FLACK. theme of its content extends beyond heard,” Toby tells me. “So FLACK love to see FLACK inspiring other Top right: Drawn by Toby Peters when he was homeless and struggling with life on the streets, homeless people provides us with a crucial opportu- homeless people around the coun- alcoholism. He is now approaching his fifth year in recovery. are involved in all parts of its pro- nity to be taken seriously.” Toby’s try, celebrating their creativity and Bottom right: ‘Guess Who?’ by Nick Ward, an award-winning writer, painter and duction - design, distribution, mar- films are visually striking and ingenuity.” musician. Read his blog at http://nickwardscenarios.wordpress.com/ keting, administration, research painfully revealing, and he is keen and editorial work. to emphasize that they “can only be Arts Editor: Zoe Large 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAGAZINE 31 Arts Comment Is public art just a waste of space?
Zoe Large
hat is the point of public earning the title of ‘plop art’; the art? It’s a question that pithy derogative attributed to many Wsometimes crosses my public works that are shoehorned mind as I’m walking across the into unsuitable surroundings. centre of the Sidgwick Site. For Often the aim of this ‘plopping’ is to the architects, art-historians and accessorize downtrodden areas, yet scientists amongst you, let me paint it usually happens at the expense the scene. Having forced your way of far more basic and necessary past the brutal glare of glass and regeneration. concrete, you come to a patch of If you want a fun game to play, grass; a redemptive strip of colour try making a show of appreciating amongst four walls of grey and public features as works of real sludge. Then, like a slap in the face, cultural interest. Stand in the the ‘art’ hits you – perched on top of street gawping at the contours of a that meagre, yet rewarding parody steel ball, or contemplate a bronze of nature are fi ve, massive steel dolphin in the lobby of a bank. Ask structures. the security guard where you can It reminds me of the abstract buy a postcard. The absurdity of pieces which are usually bunged in the idea suggests that these works bank receptions, hotel lobbies and aren’t there for the benefi t of any Night at the city squares. One assumes they are viewer. Instead, they’re just vulgar Museum put there with the aim of creating displays of the owner’s wealth. an interesting focal point within Obviously I’m in full support of Freya Berry talks seventies funk, Captain Scott and cubes with the public space; perhaps to add a touch any project which brings artistic minds behind Carmen Electra’s next project, Access All Archives of whimsicality to a place of high engagement beyond the museum, seriousness or, at best, to create but most public art does exactly dialogue and cause controversy. In the opposite. Obtuse and politically eard the one about the Pounds.” Every event is specifi cally than ever, so now is a perfect time reality, this kind of work is usually neutral, its dominating presence whale who went to the gig? tailored to the space: at the Polar, to explore new ways of doing it.” neglected; quietly ignored by demands attention, but refuses HEver visited the Whipple ghostly readings from Captain Monday’s event will be offering a almost every passer-by. to communicate anything at all. Museum? No? Well, here’s your Scott’s diary accompany displays of variety of experiences throughout Our reaction isn’t new. Large As viewers, we are encouraged chance: on October 24th, ‘Access All light. “We’re trying to break down the evening, changing the atmo- abstract sculptures were fi rst to sit in its shadow and observe Archives: Music in the Museums’ the barriers between audience and sphere at each site. It’s a “gradual placed in public spaces in the 1950s, it uncritically, excluded from a arrives. For one night only, students spectacle. It’s also about fi nding process, eventually morphing into a with the purpose of educating the meaning which we assume to be and musicians are taking over fi ve alternatives to the traditional gig proper club night”, Bates tells me. masses about contemporary trends beyond us. of Cambridge’s top museums – the or DJ night – it’s not like going to The number of venues means in avant-gardism. Ironically, of Public art can only be valuable if Polar, Whipple, Sedgewick, Fitz- a heavy metal or a pop gig. Many there is plenty of choice between the course, the avant-garde movement it interacts with the space around william and fi nally the Zoology genres now are so narrowly defi ned 6.30pm start and the projected end aimed to produce work which went it, drawing out its most interesting Museum, where the whale skeleton they only last six months,” says of 11pm. Visitors buy tickets before- beyond the scope of ordinary human features. We should be able to react currently resides. Bates. “Most people have pluralis- hand, and these give you access to understanding. Perhaps it is little to it on the basis of what we, as The event, part of the Cambridge all the events throughout the night, wonder, then, that its presence individuals, share in the space it Festival of Ideas, aims to produce a Most people have while the Zoology and Fitzwilliam merely alienated the public. occupies. Anything less is not only sound and visual art extravaganza, sites will also have a bar. In mirroring the brutality of the disempowering, but a lamentable an expansion of last year’s wildly pluralistic musical Who are their infl uences? “An- buildings around it, the steel on waste of potentially meaningful successful Carmen Electra. backgrounds, and thony and I both come from classical the Sidgwick Site at least avoids space. “We just got shitloads of drums” backgrounds – but Anthony likes says Joe Bates, second year musi- we’re trying to reflect jazz, and Joe has been in rock bands. cian and one half of Filthy Lucre, that Everyone who grows up liking clas- who will be performing at the sical music now grows up in their Fitzwilliam on the night. He and tic musical backgrounds”, agrees own country”, says Brady. “We’re Anthony Friend, also studying mu- Friend, “and we’re trying to make trying to create something that Bucket Five poems, written in Cambridge, List to read before you graduate sic, have also constructed an 180m³ something that refl ects that. Hope- bring our infl unces together. This is At A Vacation Exercise The Thought-Fox cube, upon which UV lights and pro- fully you’ll come looking for one really experimentation.” John Milton, 1627 Ted Hughes, 1957 jections will play along as they “try thing and fi nd something else that “It’ll probably be quite weird”, 1 In this poem, written for an 4 This poem describes a dream in to fi nd the space between live and you haven’t heard before.” laughs Friend. Weird, perhaps, event at Christ’s, Milton voices his which Hughes was visited by a fox, pre-recorded music.” There will also “There’s not really a reason for but certainly more exciting than desire to write an epic in the English which warned him that the spirit of be a DJ. “It’s like what I wanted to people to go and see live music”, the standard Monday night at Fez. language. Perhaps the idea of ‘Para- academia was crushing his creativity. do when I was six”, says Bates. says Friend. “When people do go, You’ll fi nd me dancing beside the dise Lost’ was already fl oating in his “It’ll probably never be repeated, they’re looking for more, which is extinct wallaby. brain, even as an undergraduate. Rich in Vitamin C and it’s ridiculously cheap”, says why so many people go to festi- J.H. Prynne (c. 1971) James Brady, who will be taking vals – it’s all about the atmosphere. Buy your ticket at http://tinyurl. Lines Written While Sailing 5 Prynne is a Life Fellow of Gon- over the Zoology Museum. He tells There’s so much stuff out there, and com/6zu6nfd In A Boat At Evening ville and Caius, but he distinguishes me that seventies funk, amongst it’s nice to have things presented to 2 William Wordsworth, 1789 “the accident of biography” from his other genres, will play out along- you in a different way.” Wordsworth claimed that Cambridge writing. Obscure and intriguing. side the skeletons of long-extinct Is live music a dying form? “Actu- “froze the genial current of his soul”, leviathans. ally, takings on concerts are up”, stifl ing his poetic mind. Even so, he “We’re going to explore a pri- Bates replies. “About fi ve years ago, managed to pen this poem while sit- mordial aspect…sound bubbling artists started making more from ting at the side of the Cam. up, a stage you can walk the whole live performances than from selling way round – it’s going to be very records. Live music is more popular Timbuctoo spontaneous, with musicians who Alfred Tennyson, 1829 are really experienced at improvisa- 3 Tennyson won the Chancellor’s tion.” Medal for this poem, which mourns The event’s plug reads: “Five Mu- the diminishing of fantasy into fact. sical Events – Five Museums – Five PHYLLY BLUEMEL 21st October 2011 Crosswords Editor: Tim Middleton 32 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Varsity Crossword Set by Janet Sudoku
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Across Down The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to 1 Could a nice avocado prove 1 Shell motor tops a speed (8) satisfy only one condition: each row, column and 3x3 edible for starters? (6) 2 North American river returns box must contain the digits 1 through 9 exactly once. 4 Hear two back up in a call for Christmas for commander (8) 9 10 penalties (8) 3 Direct north (5) 9 Right rape covers one up to 5 Little tyke’s vehicle looked 1 5 9 8 11 make better (6) aghast (6-6) 9 3 6 1 10 Excess swallowing drug points 6 Lover’s pet surprised to have 12 13 to independence (4,4) still been in bed (9) 6 4 12 Communist council built poor 7 Hope regularly for rains soon mess (9) (6) 5 4 1 2 13 Shortly surrounds soft stirrer 8 A fl air in mental entertainment 1 3 9 6 14 15 (5) (6) 14 Traverse living room furniture 11 Fruitcake slowing down 9 8 7 3 16 17 as a man wearing tights! (5-7) topless Jewish supporter (a 18 Get to grips with shot for food expert) (12) 2 1 18 triumph (12) 15 Sort out stale sins to make 4 9 2 3 21 Top prize (5) clean (9) 22 Musical group love mixed 16 Continued ceremony in
19 20 5 6 7 4 / GARETH MOORE www.puzzlemix.com charters (9) sackcloth and ashes (8) 24 17 21 22 23 Bold about powerless winter Strangely crenated glassware The Varsity Scribblepad dip (8) (8) 25 Queen isn’t cute (6) 19 Miserable complainers left 26 Beside place of hanger-on (8) alone to economise (6) 27 Remote-controlled shooting 20 Craft the queen a hat (6) 24 25 star (6) 23 Oriental duet performed technical composition (5) Last week’s answers Last week’s answers 8a Coda , 9a Peterhouse, 10a Actual, 11a Ad-libbed, 12a Pembroke, 14a Gateau, 16a Life, 17a Clare 18a Trot, 19a On 9 1 4 5 3 7 8 2 6 26 27 edge, 21a Emmanuel, 23a Dairyman, 26a Girton, 27a Reciprocal, 28a Mark 3 5 6 4 8 2 7 9 1 2 7 8 9 6 1 3 5 4 1d Concretion, 2d Valuable, 3d Apollo, 4d Etna, 5d Prologue, 6d Sorbet, 7d Isle, 13d Elate, 15d Above board, 17d 7 4 5 1 9 8 2 6 3 8 3 1 2 4 6 5 7 9 6 2 9 7 5 3 1 4 8 Creamery, 18d Tangrams, 20d Darwin, 22d Moguls, 24d Anew, 25d Neck 1 6 7 3 2 9 4 8 5 4 8 3 6 7 5 9 1 2 5 9 2 8 1 4 6 3 7
Applications are invited to edit the 2012 Mays Anthology, the collection of the best student writing and artwork from Cambridge and Oxford. Interested candidates should email [email protected] by Friday 4th November.
‘Young people don’t fail in education: change Their lives education fails and change yours them and that’s not Just 16% of kids eligible for free school acceptable’ meals make it to university, compared to 96% from independent schools.* Kafilat Agboola, taught Science. now Faculty Head of Science Take up the challenge, Teach First.
MilKround PresenTaTion date: 27 october 2011 venue: Pitt Building Trumpington street Time: 13.00 (lunch will be provided)
www.teachfirst.org.uk
Teach First is a registered charity, no:1098294 *Sutton Trust, 2010 Sport Editor: Matt Blythe 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk SPORT 33 Week Three: Varsity does chess In the third installment of Varsity Sport’s weekly look at some of the minor sports, we talk to this year’s President of the Cambridge University Chess Club, Tom Glover
Matt Dickinson whom are of a national standard, so You can never quite be sure that CHIEF SPORT CORRESPONDENT we’re feeling very positive. people might think “I want nothing to do with you” if you’re a chess player. Where and when did you fi rst start How do you prepare before a I know Andrew Flintoff played chess playing chess? match? whilst preparing for the 2009 Ashes I went to my secondary school’s chess I confess I don’t prepare as such in series, so the game’s image isn’t all club when I fi rst started there, as I the run up to a match. I read books bad. walked in someone asked me: “Do you about strategy and opening theory want to be beaten in three moves?” I when I have time. Others use chess Could the game ever fi nd sat down to play, and he delivered on engines to strengthen their game, and international popularity? his promise. some even read up on strategies their The game is already very popular opponents have used in the past, but in certain parts of the world. Chess The incident put me off the game for I don’t personally feel the need to do to the Russians, for example, is like a couple of years, but when I was this. There is always a sense of sitting football to the English. I think in fourteen my friends were interested down to the unknown before a match, the UK, however, there are simply in chess and encouraged me to take it so calming the nerves is a must. too many other options for chess to up again. compete with. This being said, there What sorts of personalities are is a deceptively large number of What is it that appeals to you about drawn to the chess club, are there people in the UK playing chess and chess? any livewires? competing at an international level. I really began playing with my friends A big spectrum of people are drawn for fun, but soon became hooked on to the game of chess, you have the Would you consider chess a sport? the strategic and tactical nature of the occasional livewire but generally I would perhaps call it more of a game. Chess is satisfying in a strange people are more reserved; the club’s mind game than a sport. I think the way: I tell people I play it in my free dynamic is quite different to that of defi nitions of ‘sport’ are quite loose. time to relax, but it can be intensely rugby and football for sure. If a certain level of physicality is stressful. required then chess would obviously As personalities, chess players not qualify, but if sport is defi ned What has been the highlight of your perhaps have similar attributes to in terms of competition, the game playing career? that of poker players: prolonged focus, certainly has this element. Playing for the Varsity team two determination and patience. Their years in a row was certainly a ruthless side is a little less pronounced What are chess’ s benefi ts off the highlight, as was becoming junior though, I would have thought. board? champion of the North-East. I think chess strengthens the mind in Cambridge supremo Tom Glover weighs up his next move Tips for budding chess players? subtle ways. Pattern recognition is Who’s the best chess player you As with any sporting discipline: play naturally central to the game, and this have encountered? devote many hours to reading books of correlation, but people who go to as much as you can, and fi nd stronger improves one’s analytical faculties off Having been involved in British about chess and memorizing game Cambridge or Oxford keen to play players than you to compete with and the board. championships, I’ve met several winning variations up to twenty chess are generally well established learn from. grandmasters. Jonathan Hawkins, or thirty moves long. As with any before they get here. What would you say to any freshers a friend of mine from the North- discipline, talent only gets you so Do you feel self-conscious as a chess who want to try chess? East, has recently also earned this far, it’s extensive application and What are your hopes for this player given the game’s image? I think beginners can be put off by the prestigious title. determination that sets apart the very season? I think opinion is much divided strategic dimension of the game and best players. Our fi rst, second and fresher teams about the game. Immediately some it does require persistence to get over What makes a great chess player? were all defeated at their Varsity people might think a lot less of you this initial threshold. Once one has a In essence, the ability to call on Do Oxford and Cambridge produce matches last year, so this season we’re for admitting you play chess in your basic grasp of the game’s patterns, expansive tactical knowledge at the best chess players? out for revenge. We’ve had a good free time, whilst others are quite however, it is very rewarding. any given time; the greats will There may certainly be some kind intake of freshers this year, many of accepting. LUXURIOUS ORIENTAL MASSAGE MAKE A Agony Aunt DIFFERENCE! and Sensei always told us to relax after a Join a stimulating, home- based plan for our 17-year old, Author hard day’s labour....to soothe our aches and pains. mildy autistic daughter, based on the ‘son-rise’ programme. seeks part-time We would like to ask you to Yet somehow we work for 4-6 hours a week (for assistant six months). don't think we've No experience needed; 8-10 hours per week, £10/hour full training given. in lovely o ce with view of £7 an hour. Make the call: Tel: St. John's College. quite NAILED down 01223 248622 Make a difference! Admin experience is desirable. the formula yet... The ability to work independently and an enthusiastic, can-do Use your noodle well and stay…sharp attitude are essential. DOJO For further details email: Dojo Noodle Bar, 1-2 Millers Yard, Mill Lane, Off Trumpington Street, Cambridge CB2 1RQ o [email protected] T : 01223 363 471 www.dojonoodlebar.co.uk 21st October 2011 Sport Editor: Matt Blythe 34 SPORT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Blues Football Season Preview Mixed fortunes in preseason but Captain Paul Hartley sees plenty of promise
CUAFC Paul Hartley Charterhouse Old Boys and the 3-2 confi dence given the infl ux of talent FOOTBALL CORRESPONDENT loss at the hands of the Navy U23s this Michaelmas. Last season proved both could have been wins on another to be a consolidation year after Both the football Blues and Falcons day. In a real test of what is to come, promotion in 2010. Now they will be have been hard at it over the past however, the Blues turned over looking to build on their positive start four weeks with coach Che Wilson student opposition Warwick 1sts in to 2011/2012 under the guidance of running them through a demanding convincing fashion, winning 3-0. skipper Rouse. pre-season schedule. A combination The Falcons have also shown good The Blues season culminates in the of ballwork, strength and conditioning form throughout pre-season; scoring traditional Varsity Match with plans sessions means that both sides are eight and conceding none to win all busily being made behind the scenes looking technically and physically three of their pre-season fi xtures. to coincide this fi xture with the Boat strong going into the BUCS season. However, this early season form Race. This year the game will be The infl ux of new blood has added seemed to desert them during the played at Fulham’s Craven Cottage serious competition for starting fi rst half on Wednesday as they faced during the Easter vacation. positions too. The arrival of freshers Northampton 2nds in their fi rst BUCS The Falcon’s Varsity Match will Forde and Baynam-Herd provide game. But a strong second 45 minutes be played in Cambridge this season added options in attack whilst meant the honours were shared; 3-3 it toward the end of Lent term amidst Karakashian and Kent have solved fi nished with debutant Forde scoring hopes of making it four light Blue the goal-keeper shortage that last two and Maxwell netting his 5th of wins on the spin. year’s departures left. the season. All in all, there is reason for In central midfi eld the competition Having narrowly missed out on optimism within the CUAFC camp. for places has increased no end; promotion in the last two seasons, the Indeed, with twelve returning Blues Huxley, an Oxford Blue, has joined Blues will be looking to make it third there is a positive mix of old heads and Cambridge for a year and Childs time lucky this year. The strong pre- talented freshers ready and waiting has turned his attention away from season performances and the wealth to take the opportunities this season Homerton and toward University of experience in the squad mean that presents. football. Such competition has not belief is high going into next week’s gone unnoticed by the old timers and BUCS clash with Northampton 1sts. UPCOMING FIXTURES the intensity and work rate in training Topping the table will be no easy has been exceptional. feat however with the Blues’ league HOME AWAY The Blues head into their first looking very strong this year. The NORTHAMPTON BLUES BUCS league game next week on likes of Leicester 1sts, Bedford 1sts the back of four encouraging pre- and Coventry 1sts will make progress BLUES BEDFORD season displays, the best of which diffi cult; only one team is promoted BLUES LONDON UNIV earned the Blues a 1-1 draw against and the bottom two relegated. the Amateur Football Alliance, one Winning away from home will hold ASTON UNIV BLUES of the best amateur football teams in the key to success this year; it is away BEDFORD 2nds BLUES the country. games against physical sides on small Whilst the displays have been full scraggy pitches that have been the of passion, organisation and good undoing of the Blues in the recent The Blues next home game is against quality football, the results have not past. Bedford 1st XV on Wednesday 2nd always been what the Blues would The Falcons should also be looking November at Fenners Sports Ground, Experience: Blues left back Mark Baxter (Selwyn), veteran of 6 Varsity matches have hoped for. The 1-1 draw against upon their league with the same quiet Gresham Road. Blues basketballers put to the sword
MATT DICKINSON Matt Dickinson going forward the Blues looked game reached the halfway mark, returned to the game pressuring the CHIEF SPORT CORRESPONDENT hesitant, with their fi nal pass lacking Loan Coleman and Thomas Bienortas visitors’ offence, forcing numerous real purpose. This, combined with a both produced some impressive mistakes. Thomas Bienortas made From the outset, it was clear that Loughborough side quick to capitalize low-post play, but it was not enough a steal off a lazy Cambridge pass Loughborough’s offensive fast breaks on any error, did not bode well for the to close a fi fteen point defi cit, and and calmly completed a two point would be an issue for the newly Cambridge side. Blues coach Nebojša Loughborough went into the half- play, while Gobino split the defence, promoted Blues. Within the first Radic must have felt somewhat way break up 40-25. driving to the hoop for a layup. minute, the visiting side had executed despondent when the timeout, called Both sides returned to the court Such individual moments of success a well-worked dunk following a mid-way through the fi rst quarter, with renewed energy, an open were not enough to stop a confi dent Blues offensive error. However, it was immediately proceeded by Loughborough perimeter man cutting Loughborough side claiming a 97-56 was also evident that this Blues side poor offensive ball handling and a to the basket early on, and Coleman victory though. They were simply were not going to lay down and be subsequent dunk for Loughborough. responding with a savvy drive from stronger and more organized in both pushed around: Tobias Uth instantly The second quarter produced much the top of the key. offence and defence; shutting down responding with a determined two Agbontaen was strong in the key, a Cambridge offence which too often point play in the paint. Cambridge producing some good defensive lacked dynamism and a clinical fi nal Throughout the fi rst quarter, the basketball Blue rebounds to ensure that when pass, whilst also delivering explosive, Blues produced several individual Chris Haar Loughborough called a time out fi ve fast breaks and using their reliable moments of brilliance. Chris Haar surges forward minutes in, the 15 point defi cit had perimeter shooters, who delivered looked impressive throughout, against visitors not increased. If the Loughborough when the Blues’ defence was pulled making a direct cut to the basket Loughborough coach had encouraged his team to out of position by their opponents’ to level the game at 4-4 in the fi fth be more disciplined on defence and cuts to the hoop. minute. the same story. The Blues worked the more clinical on offence, his advice Cambridge, for their part, contested Centre Kaladerhan Agbontaen also ball well on offense at times, allowing was heeded. An unanswered 14 point everything under the basket and showed great promise, combining a Lewis Cannon to coolly knock down run followed, with the quarter ending showed great character, pressuring defensive rebound with a calmly taken a three two minutes in, but the play 64-38. every Loughborough possession fi eld goal at his opponents’ end with was largely Loughborough’s as As the game drew to a close, right up to the fi nal whistle. However, ten minutes gone. Point Guard Job they continued to exploit a shaky Cambridge became increasingly the league favourites showed little Gobino too drove aggressively to the Cambridge offense. undone by a side bigger, quicker and mercy to the newcomers to this basket, successful converting three of Midway through the second period, more confi dent in putting points on division, and the Blues will help them his four hard won free-throws. the visitors smoothly converted two the board. The Blues called a timeout to bounce back against De Montfort Loughborough drive to the basket It must be said, however, that fast breaks within a minute. As the early in the fourth period, and next Wednesday. Sport Editor: Matt Blythe 21st October 2011 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk SPORT 35 Back to winning ways Commentary Box: Sporting As it happened... Continued from page 36 man, so it was defi nitely a penalty-try The backs need to run as they did but it wasn’t deliberately cynical. Gentlemen Cambridge University for a while here; the set-pieces need The focus now though is on next to recover the effi ciency so evident week’s game away at Coventry. We vs Blackheath RFC Michael Taylor in weeks past, and – most of all – the don’t know much about them but we’ll START place-kicking needs a radar: it was be assessing them as a team over the four from eight on Tuesday and nine week. The key thing, however, is for nd the card was red, and cricket, so often lauded as the true 3 points is too many. Fix these, though, us to just concentrate on our own you know which. So, sport of gentlemen: its roots are Stevens opens the scoring with a penalty in front of and hope springs eternal. game and improve on the mistakes we three things. found in Georgian gambling fora and the posts. 3-0 After the game Varsity Sport made tonight.” First, Alain Rolland’s its governing body has stewed in got Blues scrum-half Sam Hunt’s Against Coventry the Blues decisionA was correct. Warburton’s racial and fi nancial corruption since 12 thoughts on the side’s performance: will hope to welcome back Jason tackle on Vincent Clerc broke its foundation. The myth and the ...but fails with relatively “We defi nitely had the momentum Kururangi to the back row, after he the laws of rugby, contravened spirit of the sport endure, but here simple second attempt. carrying forward from the victory sat out Tuesday night’s game because directives laid down explicitly, and propaganda trumps reality. over City after three straight losses of an injury he had suffered. Captain thereby constituted dangerous And as there, so elsewhere: sport 21 before that game. Tonight was a Matt Guinness-King, however, with play. It may have ruined the is historically and institutionally Blackheath draw level, the Blues massive improvement, and it really scrum-half Don Blake still stay on the occasion, but ten degrees more and shot through with odious behaviour. pinged for holding on. 3-3 feels like we’re going somewhere as sidelines, as they remain in recovery Clerc could have broken his neck. Motorsport, for so long protected a team now. I’ve honestly never seen from a serious neck injury and Red was the right colour. by the grace of Stirling Moss and so much camaderie within the squad, concussion respectively - although Second, the dismissal of Gentleman Jim Clark, is no more 30 too, which is great.” Blake is expected to be fi t for the Warburton probably did not knock than a corporate catfi ght: Renault Into the lead again, Blackheath straying On his own performance Sam said: Crawshay’s game in just two weeks Wales out of the World Cup. The crashed at Singapore, McLaren offside in their ‘22. 6-3 “I think it was ok, clearly there’s time. Welsh more than survived in open spied on Ferrari, Schumacher did plenty there to improve on. I need play but failed to convert their everything under the Sun. Cycling? to keep working on my fi tness and The Blues next home game is against pressure into points. Had Hook, Swimming? Athletics? Let’s take 37 getting as physical as possible which Crawshay’s Welsh XV at 7.15pm on Jones, and Halfpenny not missed a rain-check on that blood test. Penalty try, Blackheath’s winger is obviously diffi cult for someone of Tuesday 2nd November. their kicks, the card would have Football? Prostitutes and fi scal hauled down off the my size. I just want to get to the top meant only Warburton’s absence whoredom abound. Rugby has no ball. 6-10 form I can possibly get and help from the fi nal. better record. Why is the Lions the team. Third, the grace and equanimity tour of ’74 remembered for McBride HALF TIME The penalty try incident in with which Warburton met the and not decried for its credulous the first half was obviously decision – and which has since ignorance of apartheid? 41 Roll on...Dave Allen unfortunate and I was very lucky defi ned his behaviour – has rightly Comparison between Warburton crashes over as battle not to get sin-binned. I took the been hailed as exemplary. and Wayne Rooney, sent off against resumes. 11-10 But is this a mark of the man, or Montenegro last Wednesday, has PETER GILLIS of his sport? Is Warburton a pillar been drawn widely. Look at the 43 of the sporting ethics so proudly proud Welshman; now look at the Best move of the season as Stevens trumpeted in recent days? Likely simian Scouser. Rugby, the crows scores in the corner. not, and this is where so much have come, teaches men to accept 16-10 coverage of the incident has got it bitter judgment and to deal with wrong: no sport, no matter what its consequences. Warburton had 51 its ethos, can possibly change or learned; Rooney had not. This, Failure to roll away and the gap narrows to three. 16-13 improve the character of a man. apparently, was the mark of the Ironically, modern sport owes sportsman, crafted by the moral 60 almost everything to that belief: discipline of his chosen pastime. Cruel bounce for team sports proliferated when Bullshit. Sure, no sport is the full-back and imperial offi cials needed incubators innocent – all sportsmen are Stevens pounces. of British morality; American sports human, after all. But the notion 71 came from the need for recreational that cricket, rugby, or any weapon Blackheath hold on again, purity following Civil War; Olympic of the British sporting empire another easy penalty. 24-13 sports were resurrected as the might improve the character of a French of the Belle Epoque followed man is nothing but cant: human the British example. Sports, their fl aws carried onto the pitch are 80 legends claim, make men and carried off it just the same. As I Blackheath blindside John Lindfi eld bundles over for a gentlemen both. said, the behaviour of the Welsh consolation try. 24-18 Except that reality makes wishful captain has been a mark of the man, thinking of these claims. Take not of his sport. FULL TIME Cleared out: Will Briggs (Magdalene) is beaten at the breakdown Lacrosse: Honours even with Reading
Matthew Halliday back to take a 3-2 lead. Unfortunately, some fundamental 3rd quarter ended with Cambridge LACROSSE CORRESPONDENT Goals from Josh Findlay and errors on ground balls and sliding drifting backwards to a 10-6 defi cit. Search: use head to open Alastair Norton put the Light Blues in the defence meant that a fairly A shake-up in the quarter break free kick The opening home game of the season back on top heading into the fi nal one-dimensional Trent was able to from Captain Tilbury got Cambridge saw the Blues play host to Reading quarter, but two Reading goals in get itself back in the game. The fi red up and two early goals in the in the South England Men’s Lacrosse quick succession restored their lead. KATH MORRIS fourth quarter put the Light Blues Association (SEMLA) league. Another fl ourish though from Carl right back in the game. With Trent With two men playing in only their Tilbury brought the Light Blues back just one goal ahead with two minutes second game of men’s lacrosse ever, level with just two minutes left in the to play, some pressure defence from Cambridge were clear underdogs to a match. Some frantic play followed Cambridge resulted in an illegal well organised Reading team who had with both teams looking to strike. head check from Carl Tilbury and a trained together all summer. However, the match fi nished with a 1 minute sin-bin. Two man-up goals A bright start saw Cambridge suitably close scoreline of 5-5. from Trent followed to clinch victory, quickly go 2-0 up, a spark of individual The following week saw the visit leaving the Blues side gutted at the brilliance from captain Carl Tilbury of Nottingham Trent. Once again end of a game that really went right putting the Light Blues in front with Cambridge were the quickest out of down to the wire. The Russians certainly know a running shot off his left-hand. the blocks, winning possession off how to use their head in this Reading however, quickly rallied the fi rst face-off to run away with an The Blues next home game is against one. Is it necessary? No. Does together and by half-time had settled early lead of 3-1 by the end of the fi rst Croydon at 2pm on Saturday 5th it look cool? Yes. Captain Carl Tilbury on the offensive into the match, pegging Cambridge quarter. November at Queens’ College Sports 21st October 2011 Sport Editor: Matt Blythe 36 SPORT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] “The behaviour of the Welsh captain has been a mark of SPORT the man, not of his sport.” Michael Taylor on that red card and the fallacies propagated by professional sport
KATH MORRIS Blues make it two from two Cambridge overpower a lively Blackheath RFC side on a bitterly cold evening at Grange Road to make it two victories from their last two games
PETER GILLIS
Lacrosse season
Split open: Blues full-back Tom O’Toole (St Edmund’s) tears through the Blackheath midfi eld to set-up Rob Stevens (Jesus) in the corner begins p35 RESULTS ROUND-UP the breakdown did not help the fl ow understandable; the call was arguable, some distance, it was the best play of CAMBRIDGE UNIV 24 BASKETBALL of things. Referee Rob Warburton maybe fair. In any case, the penalty the year: simple, sweet and seriously BLUES 56 BLACKHEATH RFC 18 (not an auspicious week for that try was given and so Blackheath led good. Twickenham would dig this. surname…) was rapid on the whistle, 10-6 at half-time. Some of the magic hung around a LOUGHBOROUGH 97 seeming to want to blow, and fi nding The restart brought untold riches. while. Ollie Wolfe landed the biggest FOOTBALL Michael Taylor infringements that others might have It was not expected, either, for this hit of the night, inviting Blackheath’s DEPUTY SPORT EDITOR let pass. Maybe he was mentored by was almost total rugby. First, the Adam Jones look-a-like to sit down. BLUES 2 Jonathan Kaplan, who knows. rolling maul –the leitmotif of the Kristian Cooke then dropped a Excepting one brief spell after half- Here and there, though, the tedium season – shepherded Dave Allen cheeky chip into no-man’s-land NAVY U23 3 time, there was not much to savour was punctuated. Rob Stevens knocked across the line. Then, there unfolded and Blackheath’s back three found HOCKEY here; not for the purist, not for the over a couple of simple penalties, Peter one majestic and sweeping backline themselves skinned by Stevens. BLUES 2 neutral. The Blues may have notched Humphries replied for Blackheath, move, covering the full width and Another penalty goal later, the game consecutive victories for the first while Paul Loudon came miles off his felt dead. BISHOP STORTFORD 2 time this season, defeating visitors wing to burn a hole through midfi eld. Ollie Wolfe lands Not that resting was an option: RUGBY Blackheath 24-18, but getting there Still, life was breathed into Grange the biggest hit of Blackheath spent much of the last ten was ugly. Road only on the brink of the interval. the night, inviting minutes in the Cambridge ’22 and only BLUES 24 The fi rst half at least was banal Outside the Blues ’22, Blackheath Blackheath’s once, in what became the last play, BLACKHEATH RFC 18 and shapeless, the aimless kicking inside centre Paul Ellis chipped and Adam Jones look- was the line broken fatally. There was pendulum swinging out of touch on was charged down, his left-winger a-like to sit down stern defence in that, and it lasted the full, passes thrown wildly across Shimizu intercepted and kicked throughout. the front and along the fl oor, the poor further, approaching a vacant try line length of the pitch. A win next week against Coventry 42 > handling of last week lingering. before Blues scrum-half Sam Hunt There was running from deep; begins a roll and ‘momentum’ might Neither side was innocent. halted his progress. men were drawn and passes went enter these despatches in earnest. Certainly, neither controlled its own From the stands, things were not to hand; it was fi nished with poise But, in tighter matches and 9 771758 444002 ball at the lineout, in the scrum or in so clear. The try was possible, but not and professionalism as Rob Stevens against better opposition, « 35 the ruck. Perhaps the arbitration of defi nite; the challenge was risky, but scored his 27th try in 27 matches. By the loose ends need tying.